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PUTTIN’ ON THE RITZ | B. WAYNE
SUMMARY: You’re Bruce Wayne’s long suffering personal assistant. On a time crunch, you (re)teach him how to apply cologne.
NOTES: belligerent tension, Bruce is characterised more on the socialite side than Batman, though Batman is alluded to. Suggestive ending.
For all the years that you’ve been his PA, you’ve never quite understood the borderline hysteria surrounding Bruce Wayne.
The perils of having a pretty face and old money, you suppose; sex appeal sells, and the prestige of an established name and old money that lend him an air of modern-day Gilded Age aristocrat surely can’t hurt.
Not that it's of particular interest or importance to you; you're a member of the hoi polloi through and through.
The closest to celebrity you've ever come is being mistaken as Bruce’s latest paramour in some of your more extravagant efforts trying to prevent his sartorial and interpersonal disasters before they happen.
Speaking of which; as he goes to apply his cologne, you drop the lint roller you're passing over his broad shoulders and the elegant lines of his Kiton suit and grab his wrist before he can douse himself in the strong scent, aghast.
“You’re not putting cologne on like that, surely?”
Bruce quirks a dark eyebrow. "Unless you're expecting me to break the bottle over my head, sweetheart, there's not really another way to apply cologne."
“I am choosing to ignore that nickname, because unlike you, I am a consummate professional.” You inform Bruce, tone somewhere between haughty and resigned. “I know you know how to wear cologne. Mr. Pennyworth is the gentleman’s gentleman, there’s no way he didn’t teach you.”
“Oh, Alfred gets Mr. Pennyworth, but I get Bruce?”
“Mr. Pennyworth doesn’t tear loaned formal wear, disappear at inoppurtune moments, or make a tit of himself at networking events.” You huff. “You, however…”
Bruce chuckles, all baritenor delight at your insouciance towards him.
You roll your eyes.
Spray some on your wrists and dab them together, then come here and loosen your tie."
“Not that I'm not flattered, but I really don’t think we've got the time." He teases, daubing the cologne on his wrists, long fingers of his unoccupied hand working the Windsor knot of his tie loose.
Immune to his affected charm through long exposure, you sigh.
“Keep it in your trousers, Bruce. Tonight, you're learning how to wear cologne properly, again. Do you mind if I unbutton your collar?"
Bruce hums a permissive note, gaze hawkish as you step into his personal space.
“Right. So, as you already know, you want to put cologne at the pulse points on either side of your neck; your body heat will help the alcohol carrier agent evaporate faster. If you're using a lighter fragrance or a perfume oil, you'd put it behind your ears." You explain.
As you speak, you pluck the bottle of fragrance from his grasp with your unoccupied hand, and spritz his neck with it, swapping hands to hold his collar away and do the same the other side of his neck.
Finally, you spray the base of his neck; the mist of cologne gathers into a single small droplet that traces down into the hollow of his suprasternal notch.
“(All done.” You announce, stepping back.
Bruce buttons up his collar, works the silk of his tie back into a Windsor knot with infuriating ease.
“I still think it would have been less fuss to just spray it on over the fabric.”
“Lazy. Just be thankful you don't have to do your ankles." You say as you turn to put the bottle back on the dark oak of his dresser.
Heinously late, cognition kicks in, and the realisation of what you’ve just said strikes you like a thunderbolt. You close your eyes briefly, hoping against hope that Bruce’s more airheaded tendencies have kicked in, and the context has flown over his head.
When you finally steel yourself enough to turn back to face him, you find that the universe has not been so merciful; Bruce is staring at you, a wicked glee in his expression.
"Anyway! That’s specifically to perfume." You obfuscate. "The car is probably out front by now; if you're done, let's head out."
“No, no; you’re going to explain that delightful little tidbit before we go anywhere.”
Heat floods your face.
“You clearly know exactly what I meant. Let it go, it was a faux pas.”
Bruce says your name in a low rumble.
You parrot his name back at him in a faintly beseeching tone, begging him not to choose this moment to be a petty tyrant.
Bruce’s response is to raise an expectant eyebrow.
The standoff lasts as long as it takes you to check your watch, your resolve fracturing at the first hint of threat to your meticulously crafted schedule.
“Fine!” You snap, stepping close and dropping your voice to a murmur, to minimise the odds of anyone overhearing the frankly mortifying disclosure.
“You spray perfume on your ankles so that when you've got them over your partner's shoulders, they'll associate the perfume with you."
A faint flush floods the high planes of Bruce’s cheekbones, even as his smile turns gloating and distinctly carnivorous.
C Caught up in your own humiliation, you push past him, out of the dressing room, and quite miss the way his eyes trail down your legs to where the jut of your ankle bone is emphasised by your heels, and the considering smirk that his mouth pulls into as he follows you.
#marley.txt#yes I have been gone for like. ever. in my defence I am currently having some Super Awesome OCD symptoms#and also I have had RSV and it has kicked my arse#also ongoing chronic pain#anyway! come get y’all fanfic sorry it’s shite#bruce wayne x reader#batman x reader#dc x reader#batman x you#bruce wayne x you#bruce wayne fanfiction#bruce wayne fluff#batman fanfiction#batman fluff
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cozy summer afternoons
#fnaf#fnaf security breach#fnaf sb#fnaf ruin#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#glamrock freddy#gregory fnaf#fnaf gregory#vanessa fnaf#fnaf vanessa#3 star family#ever since it was confirmed that the 3 star family ending was canon i’ve been itching to draw these guys again#i wanted to set this sometime after sb and before ruin!#i imagine that theres peaceful moments where greg is making comics and fred is talking to him and ness is developing code for mxes#also for mobile users i’m terribly sorry if the quality is super bad.. this got compressed bc of how large of a canvas it was </3#i tried encapsulating as much of gregory’s personality and interests as i could bc i rlly wanted this to feel like his room#(peep the lil mario and luigi statues above greg’s bed hehe)#and yes i did reuse the photo booth pic i drew a few months back.. just a personal lil easter egg :)#rin’s artchive
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Been wanting to draw this since the reveal of the SMB Movie casting lol
#bowser#dark bowser#doweesig art#kung fu panda#dreamworks#nintendo#mario and luigi bowser's inside story#mario & luigi#bowser’s inside story#super mario#yes I’m aware that Bowser isn’t fat#I just really want to reference that KFP scene using Bowser#sorry ; ;#jack black#dark star#comic#my art
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The thing I love the most about Alastor is that we can't truly know what to think of him, if he is being truly manipulative or if there's a genuine undertone behind any of his words, and that allows people to interpret him differently from one person to another. Like "oh he's being so sweet and supportive", to "no actually he's just saying what people want to hear because he's an evil manipulator". Maybe some fans are being too trustful, just like Charlie, and falling into his lies. BUT maybe there's a true genuine undertone to everything he says, maybe he can be a sweetie behind his evil mask. And maybe he'll turn out redeemable. Or not at all. Who knows?
His character could go in two completely different directions in the next seasons and we have no way of telling how he'll turn out. It's still fully open because he showed he can be awful and evil and manipulative, but since there's been very few hints here and there that he could get attached to the hotel, that means he could be sweet despite all that. The mystery and uncertainty is keeping us thinking and hoping and I LOVE that. He's such a unique and amazingly written character.
On a personal note, I think the two different directions his character could take should coexist. Yes, he's going to be a main villain in the future seasons and betray Charlie and the hotel, yes he's an evil manipulator, BUT he could also get attached to them and show redeemable qualities at the same time. For me it would make the heartbreak even greater and his character even more satisfying.
#text#hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin alastor#this man is rotating in my brain non stop I needed to get it out of my system#either way I cant wait to see him challenge Charlie's idea of redemption#by being either SUPER hard to redeem or completely impossible to redeem#cant wait for the anguish the pain and the heartbreak he will bring in future seasons ❤#YES I KNOW I havent posted in so long i'm sorry depression and artblock had me on a chokehold#I'll be back with more art I just needed to let out my thoughts about HH
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chuuya will go insane seeing dazai cry? zamn would pay to see that lmaoo
hi, i kinda went insane thinking and drawing about this one.
a continuation of the drunk fem!dazai post !
mini bonus:
update: now with extra here ~
#girls kissing girls kissing girl being gay aaaaaa#i wanted to draw ugly crying bc tbh crying feels ugly esp when you cant control the tears#yes i went a wee bit insane to finish this I'm sorry it took a while to reply this inbox#this was a very sever brainrot thats for the encouragement anon#severe*#chuuya is weak af when dazai actualy cries and does anything to stop it#dw she did not go insane#she merely flooded the living room but hey it made dazai stop crying so its a w#im the one who went insane finishing this comic i think...#hope you like it! thak you for reading this super self indulget comic#can u tell im so so torn with what hair to give fem chuu? yes.#bsd#skk#inbox#inbox sketch#sketch#my art#my comic#soukoku#fem skk
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#tumblr polls#polls#Sorry if the wording is weird. I thought ''be considered X where I live'' would make the most sense since 'tallness' or etc. is sort of#subjective to the people around you or your specific culture/area/etc. And if I just said ''I'm tall'' or ''I'm short'' then#the response might be 'well how do I define whether I'm tall or not?'' or etc. But then most people could probably look#at the people around them in daily life they interact with and compare based on that to get a more literal idea or something#..ANYWAY.. lol.. as usual just thought of some random thing and was like.. hrmm... i wonder what the most common#feeling about that would be.#personally I'm not even short but I just want to be really really tall... like... 7 feet tall or something. In a fantasy world type of way#of course. so like a super tall elf creature. More realistically I suppose you get health problems past a certain point#so maybe I'd be happy with 6'2“ or so.#Absolutely no hate towards people with this preference but I've always had trouble understanding the idea of wanting to be shorter#so you're Small And Cute or this and that. or whatever the base reason is. I suppose I would understand it from a surivval prespective#maybe you want to be able to hide in your environment easier and blend into a crowd. I personally would like people to be inspired to run#away from me when they see me though gjhbj#In an average grocery store or something just a normal day but then some 8 foot tall wizard man walks in and so everyone#kind of backs away slowly = yaaay I get the aisle all to myself and can shop for my produce in peace.#(except for the fact that there's a subsection of people who would intepret it as spectacle and would run towards instead of away#and pull out their dumbass phones to film Weird Thing Happening. in which case. spell of 'phone melts into molten plastic in your hands#stop filming strangers in public without their consent' be cast upon ye. )
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Stars and sparkles
#by the way the reference was just me posing akwardly in front of my phone so thats funny#i am actually super proud of this art#Teruki u are so silly look at u being all silly#Sorry for drawing soo much teru i just CAN'T STOP DRAWING HIM#nothingbizzare art#mp100#yes i draw everyday ...i am procrastinating on my music studies#mob psycho 100#mob psycho fanart#mp100 fanart#teruki hanazawa
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Ok here's a little (not really) analysis/theory post about Hades 2, because I'm obsessed. Its consumed all my thoughts. And I need to talk about a theme I think will (hopefully) be addressed as the game progresses.
Here's some examples of dialogue that starts to touch on this conflict between mortals and the gods. What exactly do mortals deserve? We also have literal Icarus "flew too close to the sun" here too (and probably Pandora). Chronos was able to sway many to his side with a promise of a golden age without the gods, which is presented by the narrative as a foolish venture. And not saying it isn't, or that Chronos is the secret good guy here, but I believe Chronos is taking advantage of a very real hurt that exists for mortals.
This line from Nemesis really stood out to me, because it implies that while mortals have a concept of evil, the gods don't. Which sounds ridiculous but the more you think about it makes total sense. The gods in Hades (and just greek myth in general), are kind of the worst. They are petty and selfish, they literally attack you if their boon isn't picked first, and most vitally in this context, often utterly disregard mortals.
For example, one of the things that drove me a little crazy in Hades 1, was how chill everyone was with Demeter's never ending winter. Demeter was killing possibly millions upon millions of mortals and everyone else just sort of let it happen. Maybe complained a bit because it was annoying to them, but just stood by. And that's just one example. Mortal's have a very valid reason to hate the gods.
And considering we have more areas of the surface to explore that aren't out yet, I have a feeling Melinoë is going to be meeting some of these discontent mortals. And my hope is they are going to be nuanced characters, that will challenge Melinoë not just in a fight, but her very ideals.
Because Melinoë is very deferential to the gods, waaaaaay more that Zag ever was. Unlike Zag, who was more like a bro to them and was willing to suck up to them for personal gain, Melinoë seems to genuinely mean all the respect she gives them. She praises them, defends them when they are insulted, and just generally very polite to them.
In a smaller scale, she describes Hypnos as having a wisdom about him and can somehow sense her intensions while asleep. Which as Nem implies, the version in Melinoë's head doesn't exactly line up with reality (though sidebar, I am a believer in Chekov's Hypnos and that he's going to somehow save the day and put Chronos in a never ending sleep or something, but that's beside the point haha).
Melinoë's reverence to the gods makes total sense of course. She was denied her family and a happy childhood, and because of that has glorified them all in her head. The Olympians are sending her vital aid on her holy mission for vengeance and to save her family, even as their own home is being attacked, how honorable of them!
And I think part of Melinoë's arc is that perfect picture of them breaking into pieces. Yes, they are the better of the two options between them and Chronos, but that doesn't mean they aren't also kind of the worst. That mortals deserve better than frivolous gods that can decide on a whim their fates for better or worse (love u Moros but I'm still fucked up over you and your sisters giving mortals horrible doom endings when you were bored. At least he feels bad now but still. Perfect example of gods even when not intending to having horrific consequences for mortals). And maybe like how Zag healed relations with his family, Melinoë can start repairing relations between the Gods and Mortals.
#hades 2#hades game#hades ii#hades supergiant#hades#I also realized after finishing this that another example of the gods being shit is with Heracles#and considering how little dialouge of his is out yet#im super curious of what that'll bring about#but yeah as I said in the middle of this#I really want at least of the mortals in Chronos's army to be a proper character that interacts with Melinoë#oooooh maybe they can foil Melinoë and their family was killed due to some godly interference#theres just so much potential#hades 2 spoilers#edit: ahhhh i forgot my girl Arachne im sorry best girl#but yes further proving my point
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the mirror pool
so ive been thinking about this au ive wanted to make inspired by the incredible pogd au by @beluvbug for a while !!
this is a very self indulgent au based on pinkie dealing with the conflict of wanting to be taken seriously while also playing themselves down constantly as a way to please others, especially when it come to their identity as nonbinary and their disabilities
i was going to make the first post about this au a little comic but ironically the disabilities have made that a bit hard and i wanted to post something for it
#i cant settle on a name for the au though ive thought of “the super duper pony pleaser” au or “the joker card” au but nothing is sticking#idk but i love this and i loved making it#also yes pinkie too is doggy. dogboys forever#OH also pinkie uses any pronouns except for she/her in this au but has a strong preference for they/them#it refers to themself as “she” in this because their referring to this made up version of themself that didnt have to deal with-#the hardships of being nonbinary and disabled even though they know deep down that its pointless to imagine and im using a distorted-#version of the canon pinkie pie to represent his twisted perception of itself#my little pony#my little pony friendship is magic#mlp#mlp fim#pinkie pie#my stuff 🌠#my art 🎲#img 🎨#me 🐶#g4#pinkie#oh yeah and its my birthday today 🎉#i also forgot to mention i drew this on jspaint on my phone 👍#so sorry if it looks a lil messy#sdpp au
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ugh,hhmmmm hello this is @jestersurgery 's fnh oc arlekin. The goat
#SORRY I SHOULD HAVE. ASKED BUT I SAW U SAID YES TO SOMEONE ELSE#AND I WAS LIKE 🫡#funger#fear and hunger#fear & hunger#funger oc#funger ocs#fear and hunger oc#fanart#artists on tumblr#doodle#f&h#the enki romancer etc#i love jesters so this was super inevitable#i drew the little one like a week ago and was too awkward to post#sgjfhdjfhfk im embarrassed. have fun#i wanna draw more ppls funger ocs too#moots moots moots
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she mor on my ro till I
#super lazy sorry#hi gangalang sorry for not posting#hi ninjago tumblr#hi morro.#welcome back king!!!#yes I gave him eyebrow piercing...#lego ninjago#ninjago#ninjago morro#ninjago possession
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I wanna run my fingers through their hair
💜 @namjoonswildflower
#I’m rapline enthusiast first and human second#min yoongi#jung hoseok#kim namjoon#cyphernet#bts#btsgif#dailybts#dailybangtan#userbangtan#*mine#HAPPY BIRTHDAY SABRI#super belated but straight from my heart 💛#i'm sending all my love to you#and i'm sorry that's all i could do on such short notice btw#you practically created this gifset#from sending me that link to writing the caption...#is it still going to count as gift from me???#hopefully yes ILY#1k
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awoo!🐺🌕
drawn in storyboard pro (over a parksborn animatic) with the #normal support of @izzyzzart and @gayrevolutionary 🐺🐺
#eddie diaz#911 on abc#buddie#mustasekittens#im literally fucknig crazy#the last month ive only drawn two (2) things#and they were buck and eddie respectively#im so busy w school im sorry gang#anyways yes#trans eddie diaz#trans#HES TRANS HERE#like with most of my hcs theyre super wishy washy so he is trans here but may or may not be in the future. its whatever i feel like#fanart#118 firefam#halloween#werewolf
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did some vesperia chibis, i always forget how happy i get drawing these guys. i love them dearly
[id in alt text]
#tales of vesperia#tov#tales of#the raven chibi's kinda old though. but i wanted to draw the rest#i do feel a little bad cause i always forget patty when i draw the whole cast. have to make myself add her in#mostly because i played tov years before the definitive edition; wee lass does not feel real#though honestly all of def edition just feels like a fever dream. people who played that version first/only:#did you notice yuri gaining an almost southern(?) drawl at random. and did it drive you insane#the way he says flynn. flyeahn. it's burned into my mind#and flynn's just like. yes yuri my best friend. you have sounded like this the whole game. you are not a frankenstein of 2 voice actors#fan art#my art#sorry that was probably super off topic; i just still think about it all the time. and i think i'm a little scatterbrained recently#i've been making time to draw and think about dumb things so i don't just sit and doomscroll all day
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Lan Xichen is not a himbo he's just a better person than you are
#Sorry#LISTEN. I have criticisms of LXC's actions. Is he a perfect character? Well yes. However is he a perfect person in universe? No#He in fact does fuck up. Super bad. And I have talked about those times and will do so again. Fundamental failures all around#However.#If it helps he's also a better person than me so
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new button sets
feddy || bemdy
#fnaf#batim#pins#five nights at freddy's#bendy and the ink machine#now Thats a dusty tag around here#art#looks like bendy still has a fan merch policy and i hope i followed it correctly lmfao#throwing the worlds tiniest bone to ye olde followers#i also made a support pin since i cant have a tip jar on etsy and i cant Link to my tip jar on etsy#its just a button of my logo but its for super cool people who Just Like My Shop That Much#and those people exist which is crazy 2 me but i love them#etsy#sorry i mr beast'ed foxy it was an accident
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