#( trigger warning ; mention of drugs. )

[emotionaleating]

[neshatriumphs]

Aight. Short lil' sweet, sad, whatever update and shit. Trigger warnings for mental illness fuckery and pills, etc.

The other day, for the first time since 2008 or so, your favorite bitch tried to self terminate. I don't wanna get too graphic but many pills and several pillows were used until I was placed in restraints by somebody hopped up on drugs.

I cried a lot, got sick, flooded with exhaustion and anxiety, went to work, and came home to the openings of a manic phase.

I am in said manic phase this moment. I have been doing housework for over 12 hours and rest nor sleep are on the horizon. I have had some tough conversations, but cannot contact some people, because they will try to send me to a facility.

Also. My rent was almost failed because of my roommate. I am not interested in ending my life, though I am still interested in my life ending.

I simply needed to get it off of my chest. I've been suffering in silence for months, but the past few days were the hardest it's been in years.

If you're still reading, I am both sorry and appreciative.

[funpuddle]

[neonhellscape]

im giving marazhai problems

[zful]

you either stop or you die

[thebrookesnook]

Okay I know it's been a while since I've last talked about MILAOWM, bUT HOLY SHIT THE CHAPTER 113 AND 114 IS FUCKING WILD.

Heavy spoilers below and ranting on the recent chapters (mostly chapter 114 with key information from chapters 110-113).

LET'S ADDRESS THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM:

This girl is fucking insane. Literally. Previously when we were given glimpses to the cult-like meeting she was holding in Chapter 74, I had originally thought "Oh this is definitely gonna be relevant later on". WELP, here's the relevancy: turns out Dodolea has more knowledge on the Blood Curse of the Lapileons and SHE was the reason for the Regression of the Victims of the Blood Curse! She has been using human sacrifice from her cult following to, in words of her followers and herself "speak to the gods" (whatever the fuck that means), for powers & spells in order to get what she wanted from the start: Therdeo.

She's so gone off the deep end that the mother of the next in-line sacrifice orchestrated a bombing of a (relatively) small gathering just to kidnap Pereshati for Dodolea. Heavens, the way she freely admitted to her crimes to a bruised up Pereshati, especially the SA of Therdeo that night, without care and STOLE Pereshati's ring (that was given to her by Therdeo a few chapters ago) just to put it on her finger was horrifying and maddening.

Those weren't even the end of it either. Dodolea decided that kidnapping her, telling her she raped her husband, stealing her ring, and being the cause of her (and others') regression wasn't enough humiliation for Pereshati. No no, she decided that she'll humiliate Pereshati even more by drugging one of the nobles the cult kidnapped into raping the MC just to show Therdeo and everyone, in Dodolea's words, "how fickle she is".

...

Dodolea Cantor when I catch you, istg when I catch you-

The fact she's doing all this for her twisted obsession with Therdeo makes me sick. But I'm also curious to know how and when this obsession started, how long has she known about the Blood Curse and why Therdeo?

Considering that all we know of her from the original timeline (pre-Pereshati's regression) was from her limited knowledge that Dodelia had died from unknown causes. So did they perhaps meet beforehand? If so, what happened? Does this have anything to do with the mysterious first wife of Therdeo who divorced him after a few months and left? So many questions Seungu!!! 😭

ANOTHER BIG QUESTION:

Who is Adeus Potson?

I was kind of in-between when his character showed up for the first time. I noticed many of the readers immediately drew up fences thinking he was the second love interest, but so far he hasn't made any advances towards Pereshati. If anything, she doesn't particularly like the guy after she learns about his opinions on Therdeo (we love a partner who sticks up for the SO!!), even so she still gave him medcine and balms to heal his wounds (like my girl Pereshati is too kind). He definitely has an antagonistic relationship with Therdeo but I get the sense it was because his opinion was formed by little to go off of but public opinion OR there was a backstory about these two.

But other than his dynamic with our Pereshati, Therdeo & Rebecca, there's not much left to go off other than it was established he was a journalist, other nobles seem to hate him (Chapter 112) due to his connections (?) and he has a soft spot for common folk (likely one himself previously mayhaps?).

At the end of Chapter 114, he had somehow gotten free from bindings and without hesitation killed the men holding them captive and prevented Pereshati from her fate. I'm taking note of how unbothered he was after killing multiple people with ease. In fact, there was barely any struggle at all. Quite different from our first meeting with him.

Who is this man and what is his relevance to our main characters? How does he fit into the grand scheme of things? What exactly is his relationship with Therdeo?

Last thing I want to touch upon is Celphi's biological mother, Harari Aakman. I'm still undecided what to feel about her yet, so I'll hold my tongue about her until new information is revealed. What I will say about her is that she was going to visit Pereshati in that party which means she was at least considering on talking to her!! Which unfortunately was the same time the bombing happened skksks 😭😭. What luck you Lapileons have I swear.

[nomsfaultau]

Daily ask №29!

Murder edition!

I was bored so here's my attempts at figuring out the fastest and easiest way to murder or disable the fault crew. And you can give me the chances of that actually working and what would your best bet be at killing them?

1. The first one is Phil cause he's the easiest one. I'm just gonna show him the fic and your shitposts and have him turn into words. Also I specifically do that in some isolated (as in no cracks and only one entrance) barn or something like that. And I also put some pine needles in the room and light them on fire. You'll see why.

2. The second problem would be Tubbo since they would absolutely already know about me turning Phil to words. Luckily they're a pacifist. I'm not sure how far that pacifism goes exactly, but if I pretend that I turned Phil to words on accident, I'd probably get at least some time. I pretend that it was an accident and run to Tubbo like omg what happened help. And lead them to the barn. In the barn, the pine needles already produced a shit ton of smoke. So I then go ahead and say that Phil is in there and then close the door behind Tubbo, and then light the barn on fire. Even if some bees do escape, the main body would be gone.

3. Wilbur. I do not remember how his connection to the void works exactly, but I also haven't said that I have to keep the world from being destroyed so I'd just probably give the void access to the real world. Which would probably destroy both worlds, actually. I wonder if that counts as killing the whole fault crew or not.

4. Tommy. I shoot him. Like, he's not that dangerous. Not really. I don't gotta touch him to kill him. Or, ideally, I shoot him with the neutralising dart and use him to defeat the Blade.

5. The Blade. Sigh. My only ideas on how to kill him include just not being seen. At all. So that he doesn't even know who's doing the thing. You can't fight someone if there's noone to fight or challenge. The plan is to kidnap Tommy and get him into some metal container on the bottom of the ocean. And then cause him to summon The Blade in one way or another. (Ex. Drug him with some bad mix of drugs causing great distress and fear, insert speakers into the metal box, potentially actually have someone lethal there with him.). The Blade would most likely just tear the walls of the container apart. That would be a mistake. Did you know that some boars can hold their breath up to 20 seconds? Yeah that ain't nearly long enough so technically he'd just doom both himself and Tommy. And also infect the ocean with the red so that's fun.

I enjoyed thinking and strategizing about this more than I thought I would. Concerning.

Had a great time with this one, an invited a special guest to add his insight.

1.Ah trying to safeguard against Tubbo I see. However, while I rag on Philza, I think just handing him a blog would not have the concrete proof enough to believe his entire existence isn’t real. He’s the most mentally stable of the group, and much like when someone is confronted with a conspiracy theorist talking about how reality is an illusion and we live in a simulation, Phil would just roll his eyes and move on with his day. The fic would un-nerve him a bit…but this is a world with anomalies. There’s a thousand possible explanations for someone with partial omniscient (say, Tubbo), and though I think the chapters from his perspective would very much creep him out, Philza is DEFINITELY not making that far into the fic before he sets it down and goes to figure out if Tommy is okay. He might not entirely believe the fic reflects real experiences and thoughts, but he will investigate it, and then will be way too busy dad-moding to die. 

What I would try: I think the fastest way to kill Philza is to grab one Wilbur and Redify it, as seen in Fault Whumptober prompt 5. Philza physically can’t fight back, and ultimately is assuming even if he dies he’ll reform in a few minutes. Only, Wilbur can devour conceptual souls and gain power, so chomp chomp lizard boi! 

Problems: Philza just simply leaving, waiting for the Red to wear off, though he may be trying to protect the others. Bathe everything in godflame and scooping up wilbur in dragon mode and just leave, not minding that his hand is getting eaten. When mentally stable he usually needs time to become a dragon though, so that might not work. 

What my partner would try: Amnestics! Force him to forget his beef with the Foundation, then introduce him to a new Foundation Approved™ family. Then one week systematically have all important people in his life leave/say they hate him in rapid succession until he takes so much emotional damage that pure angst murders him, since he takes psychic damage literally. Okay on second thought you pump Phil full of amnestics to erase all of human history to revert him back to a non-person. Like he went insane after only 15-25 years erased but im suuuure you can do it. In 5 year increments. Okay maybe just have him snort Ranboo like cocaine. The Foundation is sure to nail it this time. Then kill him and have the Dovahkiin absorb his soul (me: how do you kill dragon or true form Phil) don’t worrryyy bout it.

2.Assuming step 1 worked….hell no they don’t believe it was an accident. Tubbo could’ve been reading over Phil’s shoulder and knows that what you gave him melted that sucker’s brain, even on accident, so there is absolutely zero trust. None whatsoever. But they aren’t going to attack you about it; actually they will give you a bee high five for killing Phil, even if they disprove of the whole murder thing. They would also see the smoke that you made in the barn, or try to go in and fall asleep so know that way that it’s super duper a trap. Especially since they’d have no reason to go to Phil, since there’s like not a lot that can be done for a pile of words. Tubbo just flies up like 6 feet to stand over your head and give a whole spiel about murder bad. 

What I would try: Pesticide BABYYYYYYY. Specifically consumable, since things that are consumed are shared with the rest of the Hive. I think the first time a trick would work but past that they’d be hella cautious. But enough constant exposure could really strip down the population. As numbers dwindled they’d get more concentrated at the body since they need a set amount of bees to carry it, and just carpet bombing the area with pesticide and smoke bombs would…still likely not kill all of Tubbo, especially since they’d know it was coming and could prepare/try to escape. Even The Blood God couldn’t manage to kill Tubbo. But with luck you could maybe kill the queens? But then they’d raise new ones…arg. Tubbo is invincible. 

What my partner would try: Use a lot of bullets. There is definitely no other better than using a full army armed with muskets. It's the best strategy every I have no idea what you're talking about. Alternatively smoke one (1) cigarette in the general vicinity. Or acme brand dynamite?

3…How are you giving the void access to the real world? Like that would definitely count as killing all the Fault guys don’t get me wrong. I just don’t know how you would do that. Bringing real world objects wouldn’t necessarily give access, just make you a target. My best sketch of how the void gets to devour the real world is by first devouring all of Fault so that nothing stands between. Potentially a hole could be ripped in Fault to the world beyond, you shove Wilbur out it, then make peace with your short life? But I don’t know how a human could make that hole in the first place. If you have an idea feel free to shoot that in the comments, because it would be very very effective. Still I think it would be easier to walk up to me in real life and just…shoot me. Here’s a hint to help you on this quest: something published in Fault doxxed me. Gooood luck! 

What I would try: Midday. Unexpected flashbang. Wilbur goes into a trauma response, meanwhile flood the area with helicopters with spotlights, the kind banned for causing permanent eye damage. Catch him from every angle, then get him with a high voltage taser. You’ll want a lot of people armed with this, because at this point Wilbur’s going to be going crazy with the cannibalism. In the few seconds while the entire void is screaming in agony (wherein most people in the radius experience things like instantly going mad, ear drums/skulls bursting) it won’t be able to fight back and Wilbur won’t be in enough sense to devour the bombs being dropped. 

Problems: Wilbur noticing the helicopters coming and booking it. The void eating the flashbang. Eldritch voice being employed quickly enough to prevent tasers (it’s not extreme when not in agony, but still has some potential to keep distance). Wilbur eating a hole through the ground in order to escape light/attacks, at which point the darkness will be enough for the void to fully retaliate. Wilbur tends to get extremely dangerous when cornered and not holding back, though that could potentially be mitigated by having friends in the area it doesn’t want as collateral damage? Potentially Tommy since otherwise you now are fighting two+ overpowered anomalies. But past a certain point he would be far too pained/scared and even that wouldn’t dampen retaliation. 

What my partner would try: Flashbangs. Or to stop him from attacking, throw tommy at him (no! Then it’ll get Red’d and cause more problem!) Solution: get someone weak to throw Tommy. Or use a lightning bolt for extra traumatic damage. To do so, ally with Thor the god of Thunder, who is sure to help you on your brave quest. Or wait for him to sleep and use a sledge hammer (me: he has insomnia dude) yeah but he has to sleep eventually! Eventually… 

4.Yeah just shoot that man lmao. In his own words:

“Well, no, obviously, like I’m pretty sure a bullet through the head would be a greater weakness. Or like if you blew me up or something. Boom. No more Tommy.” He made exploding gestures with his hands. He figured it would take a fast death to get rid of him, but the Foundation had always preferred slow ones. The crimson was sunk to his elbows and racing up his biceps. “Who’d have guessed a nuclear bomb would’ve taken care of him? Shocker.”

Of course, I would argue that Tommy could be extremely dangerous if he chose to be, but he’s mostly contact based. Well. Unless he starts coating bullets in Red and fighting armies so thick even he can’t miss…anyway like he’s killed more than The Blade at the very least, so, 

What my partner would try: Kill him with a tommy gun

5.Well the not being seen thing won’t work since The Blood God is physically drawn to challengers and battle luck can affect people halfway across the globe if they decided to beef with The Blade through indirect means. So you would hella not survive, but that doesn’t exclude his death as well. I think the ocean thing would deffo work and be very apt considering the ‘sea of voices’. Now I will say, Tommy is extremely used to being tortured, and anything nonlethal with minimal long term damage you can think of the Foundation has done. And, crucially, Tommy values his friend’s happiness over his own wellbeing and has been suicidal in the past. Basically the perfect recipe for a martyr. There’s a good chance he’ll kill himself just to ensure you can’t hurt The Blade. Past that…I mean I know Philza doesn’t change forms in doors, but I don’t know if that’s sense or because magically one can’t create a form where there isn’t physical space? Not something I ever considered. Potentially The Blade could be sliced in half just by trying to be summoned into a too small space, but I figure that would also be something the Foundation tested? Idk man. But assuming he can be summoned, either due to space or suicidal prevention, The Blade would drown. 

What I would try: First, do it when he’s hibernating post large battle, since while The Blood God will destroy people via twisting the universe while asleep, it does limit reaction on his end. Second, a challenger has to be alive for The Blood God's battle luck to be in play. So a suicide bomber could definitely take him. Or a score of them. One of the worst injuries The Blade receives is actually from shrapnel that occurs the second after a battle ends when The Blood God can’t use supernatural luck to avoid it. AI drones could also potentially do a lot of damage, though remote control won’t work at all. Or, get an enemy that’s undead! That one comes up much later :)

Or wait. Potentially has already come up. HOLY HELL DOES TUBBO COUNT AS AN UNDEAD CONSTRUCT- I think Tubbo has double defense against The Blood God omg..

What my partner would try: I think the moment Tommy wakes up in a metal box, even without the claustrophobia, would be bad. You don’t need the drugs. He’s already panicking. (I reminded him of the torture thing and he changed his mind) Actually Tommy has already been in a small metal box for a long time. Just put Jeff the killer in there with him. And watch him say his iconic line ‘im going to jeff the kill you’ 

As for The Blade, all you need is Loony Tunes level unrealistic focus fire from comically large automated weapons. Like the comically large gun from Despicable Me, or an entire wall of machine guns. Oh! I know! Go back in time to when he was a normal pig before he became vessel for The Blood God and kill him then. Also go back in time before the concepts of anger and fire existed, be the first to create those, and then have tiny Philza in your hand and crush. EZ.

[krikeymate]

Prompt: Tara notices scars on Sam’s arms from past track marks

Check out @dreamersbcll incredible take on this prompt, here!

➖

Tara sighs contentedly into her sister's neck, fingers tracing patterns against Sam's bare arm as they cuddle on the couch.

Bare.

That's new.

Ever since Sam had come back into her life, she can count on one hand the number of times her sister had allowed herself to be uncovered, skin exposed to the world. Tara had never really thought about it, never questioned it. After all, who was she to call it out, hiding away just the same.

Tara knows the reasons why she hides. As her thumb slides down a prominent vein, lightly discoloured scars slipping from view, she wonders if Sam's are the same.

Shame.

She chews her lip, desperate to ask but unable to find the words.

They haven't talked about... before. Not really, not in any depth. Half their life, shadowed and locked away, acknowledged only in glimpses through a keyhole, in the blood that spills out through the crack of the door sometimes.

Tara wonders if it's better to know, or if it will only hurt them, hurt Sam.

She doesn't want Sam to hurt anymore. She doesn't want her to feel the need to hide.

She doesn't want her to think she's alone. Not again. Never again.

But Tara's never been good at saying the right thing. She's too reactive, too impulsive. Words have a tendency to slip out before she can even think.

She's a lot like their mother that way.

She hates knowing that, hates that it's not the only thing she's inherited from that shade of a human being.

With memories of one-sided arguments and looks of exhausted acceptance, of a dark-haired woman collapsed on a bathroom floor with a bottle in hand - her mother, Sam, Tara, memories converging into one - Tara wraps her fingers around Sam's wrist and draws it close.

She presses her lips against the skin, the way Sam used to do with her, all those years ago. I'm here, the touch would say, I've got you.

I love you.

It never made the pain go away, but it always reminded Tara that Sam was there, that she could wrap herself in her arms and hold her tight until it had passed, that she had a shoulder to cry into when the world got too much.

She always knew she could handle anything with those silent promises tattooed into her skin.

The act makes Sam tense for a flash, pulse noticeably jumping. Her sister never had the security that Tara had, the support of someone who loves her, of misplaced pity and leniency from those around them. Sam was burdened with only expectations and scorn, a legacy she never asked for, a life sentence she should never have had to carry... Tara hopes that - if even just for a moment - she can help shoulder the burden instead of being one.

She shifts to look up, a sudden urge to see Sam overwhelming her. No uncertainties have ever survived her sister’s gaze, and sure enough, dark questioning eyes peering down at her settle the writhing in her stomach.

Tara finds herself lost for a point, enamoured with the way the light of the television – forgotten and drowned out, virtually silent against the hum of her thoughts – dances against Sam’s eyes.

They always have so much to say. Tara wishes she could speak the language, to respond in kind.

She settles for kissing Sam’s scars, hoping her love will seep into the parts of her sister that she cannot stand to love herself.

There’s no part of Sam that isn’t beautiful, she should tell her that sometime.

But not tonight, she thinks, as Sam pulls her ever closer and she settles her head back down against her shoulder.

They don’t need words tonight, she knows, as her sister presses lips against her head.

They just need each other.

[permettez-moi]

I think Halt was addicted to some sort of drug at a point in his life

Either while he was at dun kilty, or right after

Idk why my sleepy brain just made that up and the puzzle clicked for some reason.

His worn out look, how he is described as quite old looking, but also, he went through a shit ton of trauma and horrible stuff, and going with the autistic! Halt idea, that would make him more likely(? - not sure if that's the right wording?) To have stuff like depression and burn out, which goes hand in hand with addiction

Anyways

Sleep nice and for more than 6 hours beloveds

[lopeirce]

"Anytime that you suppress a part of yourself, it's going to overflow."

[emotionaleating]

pls don’t flirt with me i want to be nonchalant so bad but i unfortunately crave connection so intensely that i will give you my entire soul and forgive you over and over until i’ve lost myself completely and feel like i’m drowning

[angelcumgirlofficial]

update 2

ayyy i jus tripped on shrooms the other night it was dope first time getting actual good visuals then i knocked out not long after. still usin fetty. got sum cold shots for tn im broke af now im going to see jazmin bean in montreal at the end of september and im gonna meet her im so excited lol love u guys i missed tumblr sm <3

[fentacid]

I want to do some c0k3 and be even skinnier.

What is your gw?

-Fake post-

#

[thethingything]

I just realised that since my fursona is an insect and those have to be filtered on Art Fight, I can't actually put him on our team card if I want to then put the card on our profile which like, I get it, but it is kinda frustrating.

it's also frustrating that for the set of phobias that need to be filtered, you can't specify which one you're filtering for and it all just gets put under "sensitive content" which isn't really helpful because like, there is stuff in that category that I want a warning for (like needles) but also stuff in that category that I'm totally fine with (like insects) and there's no way to tell which one it'll actually be without just clicking the image. it's not super helpful as an actual warning because I have no idea what it's warning for

[athenacarrigan]

ATHENA CARRIGAN ; 33 ; THERAPIST.

[cis-female and she/her] Welcome to Aurora Bay, [ATHENA CARRIGAN]! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like [LILY COLLINS FC]. You must be the [THIRTY-THREE] year old [THERAPIST]. Word is you’re [KIND] but can also be a bit [CHALLENGING] and your favorite song is [WHO'S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME? BY TAYLOR SWIFT]. I also heard you’ll be staying in [OCEAN CREST APARTMENTS]. I’m sure you’ll love it! [erin, 28, pst, she/her]

ATHENA’S BACKSTORY;

Trigger warnings: mentions of alcohol & narcotics.

Athena Carrigan, a born and bred Aurora Bay native, grew up an orphan to two unknown adults and began her life in the foster system. None of this wasn’t on her bingo card, but, she somehow knew she had a wild life ahead of her. Long before she knew it, she was adopted by the Carrigan family and realized she was a part of a picture-perfect family. The love was felt all over the house, her famous parents cared deeply for all of the children, and her siblings were her best friends.

During her childhood, Athena followed in her mother’s footsteps. As her other siblings found their mentors, she was a momma’s girl wholeheartedly. Her mom quickly taught her the ways of becoming a lady and the young girl took everything in. She was polite, kind, generous, and respectful to others, but the quality that was lacking was self-confidence. Unlike her siblings, she was overweight, covered in acne, and truly insecure. Of course, she knew others were dealing with the same situation as her, but she felt alone, especially at school. At the end of elementary school and the beginning of middle school, she was bullied. She was fat-shamed, called ugly more than once every day, and picked on. Hatred toward their mean souls grew within, but most of all, envy was the one to beat. It was time to make a big change.

During her high school years, Athena was a completely different girl. The harsh insults of chunky and ugly had turned into attractive and downright speechless. The endless amounts of working out, eating healthy, and taking a lot better care of herself paid off. As nobody is perfect, a flaw that follows her around is insecurity. Trying her best to be as confident as she could, she decided to join the party-goers while staying strict with her studies. On the weekdays, she was seen studying and on the weekends, she was seen partying like crazy. Quickly becoming one of the top partiers at her school, she did her best to remain the lady she was. Alcohol was helping build her confidence, make new friends, and dance like no one was watching. Getting home safely, she would crash happily in bed and already think about the next time she could party once again.

After graduating high school, Athena was quickly accepted to Aurora Bay College. Sure, she had other offers from out of town and even out of the state, but this beautiful town had a strong hold on her heart. The Carrigan girl’s college years flew by; she joined a sorority, became a psychology major, joined different clubs, and partied like no other. Moving up the ranks with partying, her open-mindedness, and careless self started to participate in using illicit narcotics. Mixing the two toxins made her more wild than ever, but she stayed true to herself and didn’t have sex with anyone. She always wanted her first time with someone to be special, so she was determined to stay sober for the intimate act. Due to being the nerd she is, she ended up completing her bachelor's a year early and got a head start with her master's in counseling.

More time flew by and Athena finished her schooling and was officially a certified and licensed therapist. In her mid-twenties, she felt accomplished and was ready to live somewhere new. Leaving her family was hard, but it was for the best and San Francisco was calling her name. Once she was quickly settled into the new city, the therapist bought an apartment and started to pave the way to owning a private practice. Walking the streets of San Fran, she was approached by someone and was offered a business card. Looking over the piece of paper, she felt her life change before her eyes. Entering the world of modeling, she was an amateur, but as years went by, she became more famous day by day. Seen in famous magazines for fashion and fitness, ads for huge clothing companies, and commercials for athletic equipment, she was living the dream. When she wasn’t working, she was seen partying at clubs, journaling her feelings, and visiting the family during every holiday that they celebrated. She always had time to see her family and take care of them when needed. He loved the life she lived, but one thing that was missing from it was her family. She’d see them often, but she wanted to see them every day since they were her best friends. Missing them too much, she packed up her things, waved goodbye to the big city, and moved back home to Aurora Bay. Her adventurous self was ready for another fresh start, so within no time, she opened her private practice and was ready to make this town hers again.

CHARACTER TRAITS;

( + ) Kind, open-minded, respectful. ( - ) Challenging, insecure, wild.

[redrisingsun]

Okay but let’s be real for a sec here Henry went to boarding school there’s no way he hasn’t tried drugs