#( reece || thread )

[haveyouseenthismovie-poll]

[parnagfegg]

Me trying to keep a positive mental attitude despite the universe throwing everything at me right now.

GIF by @local-blog-for-local-people

[underno9]

Open Starter

It was like most other days in the shop. No customers, no new deliveries... nothing much at all to do. But Frankie was there, as he always was. Day in and day out, he was there. Taking stock, dusting, rearranging... anything he could to pass the time.

Today he had bought in a small record player and had the soundtrack to 'The Producers' stage musical playing quietly as he went around cleaning.

The music had gotten a few songs in (track 5, to be exact) before Frankie had given into and began to sing along. A few lines more and he was singing louder and beginning to dance around as he continued to clean.

In his own happy little world and never expecting anyone to walk in the door.

[moviemosaics]

Threads

directed by Mick Jackson, 1984

[seolinah]

closed for @springbreezc // ft. sawyer

"I did it because I had to, not because I ever wanted to. I don't need you to understand it, but that's the way it happened."

[thedilaraosman]

christmas party w. @r-maggs

“Oi,” ela disse de forma quase temerosa se aproximando da Margareth. Normalmente, Dee se dava bem com mulheres, e Margareth era uma pessoa bacana, de personalidade fácil, que provavelmente não iria se importar dela ter chamado o Spencer para a cama dela. Então por que sentia que estava andando em ovos? “O que você acha dessas roupas? Normalmente eu uso uma coisa mais... roupa no natal, sabe? Ugly sweaters. Eu tenho um do Grinch que diz ‘All my sweaters are ugly’,”  ela soltou com uma risada que transformou-se num ronquinho, fazendo-a levar a mão a ponta do nariz. “Aisha e eu temos pijamas combinando para o dia seguinte,” ela disse com carinho na voz, saudades da sua filha. Aquele era o primeiro natal que estavam separadas desde que ela nasceu, e sua vontade era de subir para o quarto e chorar, mas obviamente a produção não permitia. “Nunca um maio natalino,” disse passando a mão onde o body acabava de encontro a sua coxa.

[henrydryden]

Ele gostava de passar o ano novo festejando, mas não podia fazer nada se a produção não oferecesse uma festa para eles, e naquele caso eles já tinham tido uma festa de natal, tudo que podia fazer era curtir o barulho dos outros festejando à distância. Quando o barulho explodiu, e os fogos apareceram no céu, ele virou para Maggie. “Feliz ano novo,” ele disse para a loira ao seu lado, olhando os fogos à distância, “quer ser meu beijo de ano novo, Maggie?” Henry não era exatamente de perguntar quando ia beijar alguém, preferindo muito mais tomar a iniciativa, mas isso era quando ele já estava flertando com a pessoa, e não só por tradição. ( @r-maggs​ )

[asundcr]

reece listened intently, wanting every spooky detail of what had happened to aurora. he hummed, "well, i mean, it could be a ghost — if you believe in that sorta thing. like a poltergeist, they love to be fucking annoying," maybe if reece was a ghost, they would be a poltergeist, "just doin' shit for laughs." then they shrugged, "but, yeah, obviously could just be a prank too. which would be less fun, but more practical. though, what's the fun in practicality, y'know what i mean?" he tilted his head to the side, "or maybe there's just some sorta really strong wind running through the shop for some reason. my bedroom sometimes slams shut if i have too many windows open, i dunno."

she was very curious to know if other people happened to be experiencing the exact same thing that she was. could it be possible that something else was going on here? something underneath the surface that no one else really knew much about? who knows? there was only so much guessing and speculating that she could do before worrying that maybe she wouldn't of been entirely believed. "yeah... like. can't explain it. weird. just like some objects flying off the wall, hearing a door opening in the back, something not being there after i swore i left it in one place. i've never experienced anything like that before." she responded. still almost in disbelief that it happened for her to be a witness of. "i'm not sure what else to do about it. maybe i need to check the security cameras. it has to be a harmless prank if anything, right?" truthfully speaking she was trying to find a reasonable explaination for this.

[guardianssystem]

Tumblr Post of our Endogenic and Non-traumagenic Plurality Research

EDIT: THIS POST IS OUTDATED COMPARED TO THE LINKED DOCUMENT. PLEASE CHECK THE DOCUMENT FIRST. THANK YOU

Endogenic & Non-Traumagenic Plurality

By Guardians System, a diagnosed traumagenic DID system with PTSD and CPTSD

For use by everyone, to be read by EVERYONE

Brought to you by sysmeds who say “I’m not reading all that” (/j)

Feel free to DM on Twitter at GuardiansSystemOpen for anonymous questions on Tellonym also under GuardiansSystemOtherwise, just comment! :)

Lists of Links

Put together by community members! (Not thoroughly checked)

Plurality/Multiplicity + Syscourse Resources and Findings

Pastebin by ButterflyBlood - contains info from the DSM-3 to the DSM-V, medical info, community info, Tulpa info, syscourse info, and a video

Cambrian's Thread of Experts

Thread by the Cambrian Crew - contains info from Dr Eric Yarbrough (Distinguished Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association), info from Dr Nijenhuis and Van Der Hart (two of the writers of the Theory of Structural Dissociation), info from the ICD-11 and DSM-V-TR, and an interview by Dr Richard Loewenstein (lead editor of the DSM-V’s section on DIssociative Disorders)

Studies into non-disordered and/or endogenic plurality

Pastebin by Oliviaset - contains multiple science/government links and a video

Collected Plurality Info - 8 pages of resources - Fractal System

Document by The Fractal System - contains explanations on multiple types of plurality and references links to each, contains community info, history info, academic info, and more

Scientific Papers on Endogenic Plurality - r/Plural

Post and comments by numerous systems/supporters - contains a massive amount of uncategorised links to all types of information on non-traumagenic plurality

Multiplicity Links - SARAH K REECE

Site by Sarah K Reece - a previously diagnosed traumagenic DID system that no longer fits the criteria but is still a system, links focus mainly on general helpful system information

Scientific Articles on Nondisordered Systems

Document by Tabellenblatt1 (?) - contains info specific to non-disordered plurality, including the interview by Dr Richard Loewenstein

Ex Uno Plures - Articles

Community site by Plures House - contains explanations on plurality, info on living plural, info on personal experiences, medical info, philosophical info, social info, and syscourse info

An Endogenic Proof Masterlist - Plural Anomaly

Document by Plural Anomaly - contains community info, academic info, and criticisms on the Theory of Structural Dissociation

Plurality Studies - Multiplicity and Plurality Wiki

Wiki made by numerous community members - contains uncategorised abstracts from medical info and info on Tulpas

Non-Traumagenic & Endogenic System Information

General medical/clinical studies and research

It's just a body: A community-based participatory exploration of the experiences and health care needs for transgender plural people

Study by numerous people including a system - repeatedly references and explains multiple types of plurality, both traumagenic and non-traumagenic

Multiplicity: An Explorative Interview Study on Personal Experiences of People with Multiple Selves

Study by numerous people - uses some outdated language, however, explores how systems exist both with and without Dissociative Identity Disorder

Conceptualising multiplicity spectrum experiences: a systematic review and thematic synthesis

Study by numerous people - explores how multiplicity exists outside of Dissociative Identity Disorder in a medical context in order to recommend appropriate health services

Critiquing the Requirement of Oneness over Multiplicity: An Examination of  Dissociative Identity (Disorder) in Five Clinical Texts (Alternative Link)

Study by Kymbra Clayton - explains how multiple selves can be healthy without the need for singularity

NORMAL DIMENSIONS OF MULTIPLE PERSONALITY WITHOUT AMNESIA

Study by multiple people - uses slightly outdated language, describes how multiplicity can be considered natural without the dissociative disorders, and how the dissociative disorders could simply be expanding upon multiplicity

Cognitive processes in dissociation: An analysis of core theoretical assumptions

Study by numerous people - discusses potentially healthy dissociation and the existence of dissociation without trauma

MODES OF EXISTENCE: TOWARDS A PHENOMENOLOGICAL POLYPSYCHISM

Study by Mick Cooper - discusses alternative ways for multiple selves to exist

A plurality of selves? An illustration of polypsychism in a recovered addict

Study by Peter T.F. Raggatt - discusses the normality of non-traumagenic multiplicity and different ways for natural plurality to exist

A Jungian Perspective on the Dissociability of the Self

Study by Brian R. Skea - includes multiple mentions of Freud, extremely explicit and triggering language, and repeated use of outdated terms, however helps to provide an understanding of much older views on non-traumagenic dissociation and plurality

TRANSGENDER Mental Health - chapter 11

Book by Dr. Eric Yarbrough of the American Psychiatric Association - states repeatedly throughout the chapter that plurality is only a part of dissociative identity disorder and exists without the disorder, as well as trauma only being reported in some cases of plurality and that trauma is not the only cause for plurality, and states that plurality itself is only a collection of alters

"I've Learned to Treat my Characters like People": Varieties of Agency and Interaction of Writers' Experiences of their Characters' Voices

Study by multiple people - describes authors’ common experience of accidental multiplicity caused by their characters gaining autonomy

Dissociation in Trauma: A New Definition and Comparison with Previous Formulations

Article by Ellert R S Nijenhuis and Onno van der Hart (two of the writers of the Theory of Structural Dissociation) - page 27, at the end of the article, they recognise mediumship and similar practices as a “division of personality,” which is what they refer to the dissociative disorders as

Exploring the Experiences of Young People with Multiplicity

Research by Zarah Eve and Sarah Perry - begins with multiplicity only sometimes being applicable for a DID/OSDD diagnosis, and continues that multiplicity itself and the dissociative disorders are not the same, as well as some respondents not associating their multiplicity with trauma alongside the dissociative disorders not applying to some of the respondents, and having a section for some multiplicity not being based in trauma

Comparison of Brazilian spiritist mediumship and dissociative identity disorder

Study by multiple people - in comparing Dissociative Identity Disorder with Brazilian Spiritist Mediumship, it was found the two shared very similar results, only that the Mediumship results appeared slightly healthier than DID

Tulpamancy

Studies and research specifically on Tulpas, though can apply to other plurality

Tibetan Buddhist with a Tulpa - Opinion on Plurality

Post by Dharma Yokeyodasampa - a Tibetan Buddhist with a more traditional Tulpa asking community members for questions, discussions include what they think about plurality, western Tulpamancy, how their Tulpa feels, and the difference between western Tulpamancy and the Tibetan practice. (This is a post compiling and explaining most of it, with a response from Dharma.)

Personality Characteristics of Tulpamancers and Their Tulpas

Study by multiple people - examines and explores what Tulpas are, what they do, their role, Tulpa experiences, some history, and more

Sentient companions predicted and modeled into existence: explaining the Tulpa phenomenon

Study by Kaj Sotala - describes a theory on how Tulpas may be psychologically caused via “feedback loops” (can also be applied to various other types of plurality, such as multiplicity caused by authors/artists and caused by other disorders)

A Time for Tulpas

Thesis by Nick Stager - discusses what a Tulpa is, experiences with Tulpas, the development of Tulpas, how other practices may be similar, how an author can accidentally create Tulpas, and more

Tracking the Tulpa - Exploring the "Tibetan" Origins of a Contemporary Paranormal Idea

Book by Natasha L. Mikles and Joseph P. Laycock - explains what Tulpas are, how Tulpas are created both intentionally and unintentionally, some of the history behind Tulpa, and Tulpas based on theosophy instead of the Tibetan practice

Tulpas and Mental Health: A Study of Non-Traumagenic Plural Experiences

Study by Jacob J. Isler - explains what Tulpamancy is and how it can differ from Dissociative Identity Disorder but still be plural 

Paranormalizing the Popular through the Tibetan Tulpa: Or what the next Dalai Lama, the X Files and Affect Theory (might) have in common

Article by Ben Joffe - explains what Tulpas are, how Tulpas develop, Tulpa experiences in the outside world, the difference between Tulpamancy and the Tibetan practice, some of the history behind Tulpas, Theosophy-related Tulpas, and Tibetan Sprulpa experiences

Making Friends - Transcript of a Podcast on Tulpas

(Slightly incorrect: more info here) Discussion by multiple people - explains multiple personal experiences with a Tulpa, actions of a Tulpa, accidental creation of Tulpas through writing, Tulpas taking over the physical body, Tulpas having a different identity, purposeful creation of Tulpas, discussions with professionals (Richard J. Loewenstein,) the difference between Tulpas and psychosis, the similarity between Tulpas and Dissociative Identity Disorder, how without distress then it can’t be disordered, and more

Daring to Hear Voices

Dalai Lama - Buddhist practices are open to those who need them

Clinical Information

Helpful medical information not specifically related to non-traumagenic systems

DID Brain Pattern Study Doesn't Measure Up - December 2018

Critique by Spot&Cerberus - discusses the multiple flaws with the MRI scan on DID patients

Moral Status and the Treatment of DID Study by Timothy J. Bane - discusses the current known treatments for DID in the context of integration being commonly used, how it may be unethical and unhealthy to force integration, and that a multiple can healthily exist

DID, OSDD, and UDD Diagnostic Guide (NZ)

Diagnostic guide by ACC (Accident Compensation Corporation) - the New Zealand guide to diagnosing patients with DID, OSDD, and UDD, includes history of the diagnosis, problems with the diagnosis, alternative diagnoses, requirements for a diagnosis, what to avoid in a diagnosis, what to look for in a diagnosis, and similar

The Theory of Structural Dissociation

Theory by multiple people - the most commonly used theory to explain dissociation, often specifically related to dissociative disorders

Problems with the Theory of Structural Dissociation

Research by multiple people - discusses multiple problems with the Theory of Structural Dissociation, including it being a theory, the discarding of derealisation, depersonalisation, dissociative fugue, dissociative amnesia, the lack of association with trauma and PTSD in the DSM-V, and proposes some different ideas

ICD-11 for Mortality and Morbidity Statistics

Book by the World Health Ogranisation - Dissociative disorders on 6B64

DSM DID ALTERATIONS

DSM-V-TR

DSM-V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition)

Book by the American Psychiatric Association - Dissociative Disorders on page 336

DSM-IV-TR

DSM-IV

DSM-III-R

DSM-III

DSM-II-SPECIAL

DSM-II

DSM-I-SPECIAL

DSM-I

Plural History

Explanations and references to different parts of plural history

Plural History - 1811

Collection by Lb Lee - contains multiple parts of history in which systems of all types have existed (there are 4 different chapters)

A Partial History of Plural Self-Advocacy

Collection by Alt H - describes times in history starting from 1987 when non-traumagenic plural advocacy was recorded

It's Not Just a Tumblr Thing - Kerry Dawkins

Article by Ex Uno Plures - contains references in history to plurality outside of and before Tumblr

A Brief History of the Use of "System" in a Non-DID Space

Collection by Lb Lee - describes the history of the word “system” being used to describe those with multiple selves, and how it isn’t a disorder-specific term

A Quick'N'Dirty History of "System" as Plural Slang

Collection by Lb Lee - explains the history of the word “system” and the different uses

"Endogenic" was not coined by Freud

Collection by Sophie in Wonderland - a discussion on the anti-endos claim that “endogenic” was coined by Freud

Origin of the term Endogenic

Explanation by the Lunastus Collective - details how the term “endogenic” came to be created, what led up to it, and what happened after

I saw a post saying we should just believe RAMCOA surivors... okay... so how about this one?

Explanation by Sophie in Wonderland - describes how and why anti-endos think “system hopping” was stolen by endogenic systems from RAMCOA systems, including an explanation from the RAMCOA system that anti-endos reference

Community Explanations

Explanations on endogenic plurality by community members (sources are used)

Debunking the Anti-Endo Carrd - Guardians System

To be updated

What do Sysmeds say That is Transphobic/TERF Rhetoric?

Post by multiple people - a discussion on the comparison of sysmeds and transmeds, and how their arguments and the language they use is the same

Why Not Just Use Thoughtform?

Collection by Sophie in Wonderland and Olivia Set - describes why some parogenic systems prefer using Tulpa over Thoughtform 

Debunking Sysmeds - Claims and Rebuttals

Carrd by Ozymandias& - lists claims that anti-endos make against endogenic systems, and critiques the claims alongside referencing studies

I would define a plural system as having multiple, compartmentalised, self-conscious agents - SophieInWonderland

Collection by Sophie in Wonderland - an explanation of the validity of endogenic and non-traumagenic systems complete with referenced research and studies

Studies and Research into Endogenic and Non-Disordered Plurality

Masterpost - Academia on Endogenic and non-traumagenic plurality

Post by Inclusive Syscourse - contains an explanation on the validity of endogenic and non-traumagenic plurality complete with referenced research

Claims There is No Research On Endogenics

Post by Unknown - a list of research on endogenic and non-traumagenic plurality alongside explanations and descriptions

Origins of Plurality and Levels of Dissociation

Study by The Phoenixes - uses the DES to gain insight into plurality not caused by trauma

The Tulpa Carrd - explain the nature and origins of Tulpamancy and what surrounds it

Carrd by Unknown - lists an explanation and some history of Tulpamancy alongside references to research

Likely Origins of "Tulpamancy is Cultural Appropriation"

Post by the Dragonheart System - critiques a Carrd claiming that Tulpamancy is cultural appropriation, referencing research and studies

Resources

General helpful resources for all systems

Multiplicity Wiki - A wiki by plurals and multiples, for plurals and multiples

Wiki by multiple people - contains terms, definitions, and general information on all types of plurality and multiplicity

Layman's Guide to Multiplicity

Guide by Unknown - contains terms, definitions, information, explanations, and experiences on multiple types of plurality

The Plural Association - For Dissociative Identity Disorder & all other forms of Multiplicity under the Plural umbrella

Organisation by the Stronghold System (?) - contains help sites for all types of struggling systems, alongside helpful information and articles on multiple areas

Pluralpedia - the collaborative plurality dictionary

Dictionary by multiple people - contains a massive amount of information on the majority of plural terms and history

Endogenic Hub -  a site dedicated to endogenic plurality

Hub by the Hordes System - contains information and experiences on multiple types of non-traumagenic plurality, alongside explanations of what plurality is

More Than One - Plurality (or multiplicity) is the existence of multiple self-aware entities inside one physical brain

Site by Unknown - contains information on terms, different system origins, denounces myths about plurality, and different plural experiences

The Dissociative Initiative - For, by, and about people with multiplicity, dissociation, and amnesia

Run by Sarah K Reece - a support group for systems that contains different information and resources on plurality

Tulpa Info - "For Science"

Guide by Unknown - multiple different languages, explains what a Tulpa is, why they can exist, and where to begin when making a Tulpa

FAQ

If you’re a sysmed, you might end up here! Congrats if you do!

What is a system? A system is anyone who has more than one entity/identity in the body/brain. 

What is plural/multiple? They mean pretty much the same as "system", only "plural" was made exclusively to be inclusive of every experience that involves many in the same body. E.g. if someone is an anti-endo or sysmed and uses the hashing "plural" to find friends, they're going to attract inclusive folks who support endos.

What is DID? DID stands for Dissociative Identity Disorder. It is a disorder in which a system experiences severe dissociation that heavily impacts their life on a day-to-day basis.

What is OSDD? OSDD stands for otherwise Specified Dissociative Disorder and is used when they experience similar symptoms to DID but are missing one of the diagnostic criteria. E.g. OSDD-1A is used when there's a lack of distinct identities or no identities. OSDD-1B is used when there's a lack of memory gaps. (The separate OSDD categories don't properly exist as a diagnosis themselves - they are carried over from DDNOS.)

What is UDD? UDD stands for Unspecified Dissociative Disorder. It's often used as a placeholder diagnosis by professionals to say that although there is a dissociative disorder, they're not sure what it is.

What is a non-disordered system? A non-disordered system is a system without DID, OSDD, or UDD. They don't experience the disorders or do not fit the criteria. 

What is traumagenic, endogenic, mixed-origins, etc.? Traumagenic is a system that is formed from trauma. Endogenic is a system that is formed without trauma. Mixed-origins is a system that has multiple origins, E.g. some alters came from trauma and some did not.

What is a Tulpa? A Tulpa is a created identity that comes from repeatedly feeding information on one character or multiple characters into the brain. It can be purposeful or accidental.

DID/OSDD/UDD are trauma disorders? The diagnostic criteria for the disorders don't include trauma being necessary, nor does it anywhere else in the category. Trauma disorders and dissociative disorders are also categorised separately, and there are past studied cases of DID that weren't caused by trauma. The DSM-V-TR also includes a section that states trauma isn't necessary for a diagnosis.

You need trauma to be a system? The DSM-V specifies that a diagnosis of DID cannot be applied to cultural plurality. Culture-related plurality has existed and been documented for centuries, erased by colonisation and racism. Common cultural plurality includes Tibetan Buddhism, many Two-Spirit folk, medians, and mediums. These and more are all plural.

Dissociation is a trauma reaction? You’ll find nearly every if not every professional refers to some dissociation as “trauma-related dissociation” - take, for example, Kathy Steele, one of the writers of the Theory of Structural Dissociation, whose work consists almost only of “trauma-related dissociation”. That wouldn’t be necessary if dissociation only came from trauma. Dissociation is commonly shown to exist both inside and outside of other disorders. It’s especially common in BPD, ADHD, MADD, autism, and a few other disorders.

So only cultural and spiritual plurality can be non-traumagenic? They’re the most well-researched, but not the only non-traumagenic plurality. There are a few different theories as to how other plurality can form. Many experience their plurality caused by mostly unrelated disorders - autism, ADHD, BPD, Bipolar Disorder, MADD, etc. Others report accidentally creating alters, especially those who focus on characters, such as writers, artists, and authors. Yet more simply say they were born with their plurality, or grew up being plural without trauma being the cause. We believe plurality that hasn’t existed since birth could be caused by a “feedback loop” (here) in which one’s brain, after being fed repeated information, begins to predict the information, therefore creating actions to fill that prediction. This could be used to explain Tulpamancy (repeated info), artists/authors/writers (repeated info), ASD (masking and special interests), ADHD (masking and hyperfixations), BPD (splitting and more), MADD (repeated info), Bipolar (different states), and so on. 

Endogenic systems harm traumagenic systems? We and others have asked multiple times for sysmeds to tell us why they think endogenic systems hurt them, and every time we’ve either received silence or something that’s already been covered. Besides that, anti-endos hurt other traumagenic systems with their BS far more than endogenic systems might hurt them.

Anti-endos hurt traumagenic systems? Yup, and very frequently, considering sysmeds repeat the exact same information. Sysmeds say you have to be disordered to be a system - traumagenic systems exist without being disordered. Sysmeds say endogenic systems stole traumagenic terms - a mix of the communities coined the majority of system terms, and “endogenic” was coined by a traumagenic system. Sysmeds say what someone went through isn’t traumatising or horrific enough - traumagenic systems can be caused by any amount of trauma, no matter how “insignificant” it seems. Sysmeds repeatedly tell endogenic systems they need to have trauma - telling someone they have to have trauma when they either don’t or have amnesia around it can be incredibly damaging and has hurt many traumagenic systems. Sysmeds say they need to go to a psychologist or a therapist and be diagnosed - many traumagenic systems can’t be diagnosed. Many endogenic systems have trauma, just know they weren’t formed from it, and anti-endos repeatedly mock them about having trauma. There’s much, much more, but to end it, as a traumagenic system, we’ve personally been assaulted, harassed, threatened, told to kill ourself, and had our trauma completely invalidated and discarded by anti-endo traumagenic systems.

Expired Links

Looking for alternatives

Endogenic Research (Text Form) - NightFallSystem

----------------------------

Hey everybody.

This is a list of the research and resources we've compiled over the last year or so that refers in some way to plurality, especially in the context of being endogenic and non-traumagenic supportive.

We often argue this subject on Twitter, alongside (hope you don't mind the tags) @cambriancrew and @sophieinwonderland . We've included a few of their posts in this, as they do share some wonderful information. Sophie deals in mainly Tulpamancy, we believe? And Cambrians does a wide range of things. They've both been incredibly helpful, so big credit and massive thank you to those two (and anyone else in this document) :)

Feel free to link this post or the document itself to anyone. Link it everywhere. Feel free to tag us too, as your friendly neighbourhood endo-friendly traumagenic DID system with PTSD and CPTSD. Our collective pronouns are phe/phex/phins, and we're collectively called Guardians or Guardians System.

Hope this helps some folks! If anything's wrong in this post, mention it in the notes (we think that's how Tumblr works?) and we'll adjust it in the Google Document. Alternatively, if you'd prefer to remain anonymous or would like to talk to us directly, you can check our LinkTree at the top of this page. We're always open to feedback and new research! We're especially interested in making our document more reader-friendly, as it can be a bit of an eyesore. but we're not the best at formatting documents.

If we do receive updates to edit some information, we'll be doing so on the document, so always double-check there in case there's been a change. If there are enough updates, we'll redo this post, but hopefully, that won't be necessary for a long time, because formatting all this in Tumblr is more than enough for us.

Thank you for reading!

-Rakan (not Marcus, fuck you Marcus)

[thoseboysinblue]

Loyalty

Christian Pulisic x reader

What happens when an English girl falls in love with America’s star soccer player and her loyalties are tested when England plays the US at the World Cup?

Word Count: 3200

Requested: Yes

Warnings: Fluff, tattoos, light swearing, mentions of smut

You were sat on the couch with Christian, legs draped across his lap as you anxiously awaited the group draw for the World Cup.

You had a feeling, you just knew it was inevitable that the US would end up in the group with your beloved Three Lions.

You chewed your lip nervously waiting, eyes flicking between the TV screen and the American who had stolen your heart. And then it happened. The US would be playing England in November.

Christian's eyes met yours as his phone lit up

"MM"

"Tell y/n I'll be sure to have her some Mount gear ready for November" was the first thing out of his mouth.

Christian let out a hearty laugh as he tilted the camera towards you so that Mason could see you leaned back against the couch cushions in his USA hoodie.

"I've got seven months to sway her allegiance, and it looks like I've got a head start" he quipped.

Mason chuckled "she may be wearing your hoodie, but the Three Lions are in her blood, I've got years and years worth of a head start on you mate."

"Guess we'll have to wait til November to see" Christian answered him, maybe a little less confidently than before.

"Can't wait man, should be a good one" Mason replied as they shared a few more jabs before finally ending the call.

Christian pulled you into his lap so that you were now straddling him. You start humming "It's Coming Home" a smile breaking on your lips as you look into his eyes and thread your fingers through his hair.

He throws his head back on the couch when he recognizes the song. "Are we going to have to call it quits until December?" he asks playfully.

You shake your head and press your lips to his. The kiss is slow and passionate. He groans and chases your lips as you pull away from him finally giving up and resting his head back against the back of the couch as you scratch lightly at the back of his neck.

"I think we need to go get you a tattoo" he says, a mischievous grin on his face. "I was thinking an eagle, maybe here," as he grabs a handful of your ass.

"My dad will dislike you even more if you talk his little girl into getting an eagle tattooed on her ass," you say with a giggle.

"I mean it's not like he would ever see it though" he says nonchalantly before snapping his head up "wait, your dad doesn't like me?" his eyes widened with concern.

"I think" you start before placing a light kiss to his lips, "what he dislikes most, is that he doesn't dislike you at all" you whisper into his ear, dropping a kiss to his jaw. "It kills him that he can't even dislike you for being a soccer playing American" you smile at him "because he knows how happy you make me" kissing him again lightly. "But I wouldn't waste my money on getting him one of your shirts for November" you say with a chuckle.

"What about you? Should I get you one of my shirts for November?" he asks, tilting his head to the side and cocking one eyebrow.

"I mean Mason has already offered" you grin at him, "Or I'm sure I could ask Ben, or Reece, or Declan, or I think I have Jack's number too."

You squeal as he quickly changes positions pinning you down to the couch while he tickles up your sides. "You wouldn't dare" he laughs at your squirming under him.

"There's only one name that's going to be on your back in November and it's mine" he says, his eyes suddenly darker.

"You sure about that?" you smirk.

"Mm-hmm" he hums as he lowers himself down your body, raising your shirt and kissing along your stomach. "And I've got seven months to prove it to you" he says with a wicked grin.

*****

The journey for qualification hadn't been easy for the Americans, but you watched with pride as they refused to give up. Christian was determined to make sure they qualified, he didn't want to relive the pain of 2018 when they fell just short of qualification.

You had supported him through injuries that kept him out of some camps, setbacks and questions about his form and fitness. You knew he wouldn't give up until the job was done, and that grit and determination made you fall in love with him more and more.

It was no lie that you had enjoyed getting to know the players, their girlfriends, and family members during the qualification stage. You had come to appreciate how supportive and tight knit they all were and they had all welcomed you with open arms into the group, making you feel more at home than you could have imagined.

*****

It was now October, the excitement in the months leading up to the World Cup nearly at a fever pitch. Christian seemed to have a new promotion coming out every week as the headliner for the US team.

Even though, you'd shown him unwavering support in the lead up, you couldn't help but feel that he still questioned who you'd support when he faced off against England in a few short weeks.

You had no question about where your loyalties lay, but you couldn't help enjoying watching him squirm just a little.

In early November, you had begun to gather some of your things to pack. It was a habit of yours to start packing weeks early, editing what would finally end up in your suitcase until just before you leave.

You had all of the States gear Christian had gotten for you, from jerseys to hoodies to t-shirts all stacked neatly alongside a Mount jersey Mason had given you as a joke.

"I think you meant to put this one in the donate pile" Christian drawls holding up the #19 jersey.

"Really?" you smile back at him sweetly "I actually meant for it to be on top so that I wouldn't forget it. I should probably find some more of my Three Lions stuff to throw in there before I'm branded as a traitor" you breathe out as he drops the jersey and wraps his arms around your waist.

"Good luck finding it" he grins "I've hidden it, might have burned it actually."

"You're impossible" you giggle at him as he nuzzles into your neck.

"Impossibly good looking" he laughs as he kisses your neck.

"Mmm" you hum as his lips find yours. The kiss quickly deepens as his tongue presses into your mouth pulling a quiet moan from you as his hands roam under your shirt along your bare skin.

You are interrupted when you hear the doorbell. "That will be Damian" he groans throwing his head back.

"New tattoo?" you question as he nods at you, a slight smile playing on his lips. He places a kiss to the tip of your nose. "We'll continue this later, yeah" he questions as you nod back in response, a mischievous glint in your eyes.

You both head down stairs to greet Damian, making small talk as he sets up his equipment in Christian's living room.

Christian had mentioned getting a new tattoo, but he hadn't really told you what he was getting yet. You always liked his choices when it came to his tattoos, they always held meanings that were special to him.

You went into the kitchen to grab each of you a water and a few snacks while the two of them talked quietly about the design they had planned. Christian approving what Damian had drawn out, removing his shirt and laying down on the table so that they could decide on the placement.

As you came back into the room, Christian sat up and moved to the mirror wanting to make sure everything was just as he wanted before they got started. Your eyes trailed over him catching a glimpse of what he was planning.

Your eyes darted between Christian and Damian, both of them giving you a nod and a knowing smile as tears welled up in your eyes.

This tattoo was for you, a single perfect English rose, placed along his ribs next to his heart. It wasn't hidden amongst his sleeve which would've been so easy for him to do, it was in a highly visible place where everyone could see it. This was an outright declaration of his love for you, the English girl that had captivated him all those months ago.

You moved to him and wrapped your arms around his waist. Placing a kiss to his shoulder. "It's beautiful, Christian" you smile at the reflection of the two of you in the mirror.

"Figured I could show off my love of the English when I rip my shirt off after scoring a goal against them" he smirks.

"You had to ruin it didn't you" you quip back at him as he turns to face you. "Really though, thank you" you say as you place a loving kiss to his lips.

The three of you chat while Damian works on Christian talking about the upcoming tournament and how Christian is feeling about everything.

After he finishes, Christian goes over to inspect the artwork once more in the mirror, satisfied with the outcome and taking a couple of pictures. Damian snaps a couple as well before turning to you.

"Your turn?" Damian smiles at you as you nod, chewing on your lip in anticipation.

"Wait, you’re getting one?" Christian looks at you with anticipation.

"Two actually, I couldn't decide" you smile back at him shrugging your shoulders.

"Gonna get that Eagle on your ass cheek" he smirks.

"Not on your life, Pulisic."

"Captain America shield?"

"You don't even like that nickname, Christian" you laugh back at him.

"You're right. I'd probably have to break up with you if your taste in tattoos was that bad" he quips as he comes to look at the designs you'd talked with Damian about several weeks ago.

"Are those?" his eyes narrow bit.

"Mountain Laurels, state flower of Pennsylvania" you tilt your head to look up at him as he smiles back at you.

"And this one?" he asks.

"Who knew your home state has a firefly as their state insect" you answer him "do I need to explain the stars, too" you graze your hand along his jaw as he rests his chin on your shoulder.

"No, I think I can figure that one out" he chuckles as he kisses your cheek lightly.

"Where are you getting them?" He asks quietly.

"Was planning to do the flowers pretty close to the same spot you just got yours and the firefly on the inside of my wrist. A little more subtle than an eagle on my arse, don't you think?" you grin at him.

"Subtle. And perfect. Just like you." He smiles at you.

You shake your head at his cheesiness and lay down on the table, ready to get started.

Christian and Damian fuss over the placement of the flowers before they finally decide and you nod with approval. You grab Christian's hand as he sits down beside you, "I want you to do it" you flit your eyes to Damian, "he can do it can't he?" you ask.

"Have you before?" Damian seeks Christian's approval.

"Yeah, a couple of times, just the outline though" he answers him.

Christian moves around to the other side of the table. Taking a seat on Damian’s rolling stool and getting together everything he needs. Smiling at you with a look of excitement mixed with nerves.

“You ready, baby? This is going to hurt like hell, I’m sorry.” he says as he places a kiss on your forehead. 

You nod, biting your lip in anticipation. “Just get started, please, before I back out”.

Christian works on the outline of the flowers you had picked, checking in on you several times asking if you were ok and if you needed a break. 

Once he had finished the outline, he moved around to the other side of the table to hold your hands as Damian got started on the shading. 

He brushes your hair out of your face and kisses you lightly. “it looks so good, baby’ he smiles at you. “Its going to be beautiful, you picked well.” 

You nod at him, wincing a few times as Damian hits a few very sensitive areas. “Almost done, ok” he whispers to you with a smile as you just squeeze his hands in acknowledgement before he pulls his phone out and snaps a couple of pictures of you. 

After Damian finishes the first tattoo, you take a short break. Grabbing something to eat before getting ready to start the second one. 

“I can’t believe you are getting two today” Christian smiles at you. 

“Well, you know me, Miss indecisive, I always seem to be torn between two options don’t I?” you chuckle at him.

The second tattoo on your wrist is much simpler and takes far less time than the first and as Damian finishes up Christian looks at you like he might burst with pride. 

Once he is finished, Damian takes a couple of pictures of the two of you to post along with the ones he took of Christian starting your first tattoo. 

He tags the two of you on Instagram: 

When a Pennsylvania boy falls in love with an English girl, they surprise each other with almost matching tattoo plans

The next few weeks leading up to Christian leaving were busy to say the least. He had a few more promotional shoots to finish, matches, and training. You barely had time to soak in these last few days as it all seemed like a whirlwind. 

The next thing you knew, Christian was leaving for Doha, you planning to follow him several days later. 

Once you were in Doha, you saw him briefly a few times and were able to have dinner with him the night after the Wales match. The anticipation of the upcoming match with England obviously playing heavily on both of your minds. 

On matchday, you and Christian had spoken several times. You had never seen him as focused and dialed in as he had been since arriving in Doha. As the time for him to leave the hotel to head to the stadium with the team approached, you sent him one final text.

Y/N: Good luck tonight baby. I’ll be cheering for you 💙

Christian: Which jersey are you wearing 👀

Y/N: Wouldn’t you like to know 🧐

Christian: I hope I already know the answer 😑

Y/N: I’ll see you afterwards. Love you 😘

Christian: Love you too, baby. 💙

As you arrived at the stadium, you took a few minutes to wander over to the England team’s box speaking to several of the friends and family members that you knew. You wished them all well and told them you hoped it was a good match for everyone.

You noticed when Christian came out on the pitch, scanning the US box quickly to look for you but obviously not finding you there. They wished you luck as well as you went to find your seat in the US team box.

Christian didn’t see you when he went back into the tunnel prior to lining up for walk outs and national anthems. When he re-emerged, taking his place in the line and awaiting the national anthem, his eyes finally met yours. You saw a flicker of a smile dance across his lips as he noticed his jersey on you. 

The match was intense, both teams playing relentlessly, Christian and Mason both nearly scoring. You stayed on edge the entire match and were so proud of the US team for going toe to toe with a team that nearly everyone thought would beat them easily. When the final whistle blew and ended in a draw, you breathed a sigh of relief thankful it was over.

You watched as Christian spoke with teammates and friends of his from the England squad and as he and Mason embraced and shared a few words before they both turned to walk towards you. 

“You have that Mount jersey on underneath that ugly blue one, y/n?” Mason shouted from the pitch. 

“What I have on under this jersey is only for him to see” you answered pointing at Christian.

Mason cocking an eyebrow at you “fair play, I suppose” he smiles giving Christian a fist bump before going to talk to his own family. 

Christian climbs over the barrier and makes his way to over to you, kissing you lightly and pulling you into a hug.

“Cross bar challenge?” you grin at him as he pulls away. 

“Funny” he quips, giving his parents a hug as they had wandered down to where you were standing. Christian speaks with them and a few other family members briefly, keeping his fingers interlaced with yours the entire time. 

After they left, he turned his attention back to you. Running his fingers along the hem of the shirt you were wearing. “Glad you made the right choice, I’d have hated to send you packing,” he smirks. 

“Mason had already said I could stay with his family if I needed to when you broke up with me” you wink at him. 

“I’m starting to wonder if I should be worried about the two of you” he chuckles nervously as he pulls your wrist up to kiss it, something he had gotten into the habit of doing since you had gotten your tattoo.

You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling his face close to yours. “You have absolutely nothing to worry about” you say just barely loud enough for him to hear. “You are my home now, Christian. There was never a doubt in my mind who I would be supporting tonight” you say before kissing him gently. 

“I can’t believe you ever doubted me” you pout at him pulling away slightly.

“I didn’t really, I knew you’d pick me” he winks.

“A bit cocky aren’t we” you laugh.

“Mmm-hmm” he mumbles against your neck as he buries his face there wrapping his arms around your waist. 

“So you have something underneath here you want me to see?” he says, pulling at the neck of your shirt like he’s trying to catch a peek. 

“Maybe” you answer with a grin. 

“So am I sneaking to your room or are you sneaking to mine?” he asks.

“Definitely mine, it’s farther away from the others than yours is” you whisper into his ear as you slip your room key into his hand. 

“I like the way you think” he says pulling back from you slightly and giving you a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you shortly then” he says before hopping back over the barrier and heading down the tunnel wearing the biggest smile you could imagine.   

[masonmiamor]

Happiness all along with you - - Mason Mount x reader.

summary: mason coming back home to you, his safe place always, and surprising you just a tad bit...

request are open! feel free to send <3

this is my 4th time uploading this bc it won’t show in the tag, so i apologize 🫡

Like any other training session, Mason was exhausted and freezing, not being able to feel his legs, but getting used to it. He changed quickly after his shower, shared a laugh with Christian, Kai, and Reece, and packed his bag. When he walked out he called you but it went straight to voicemail.

Mason sighed as he got into his car, and began to turn the heater as it was now colder in England. He rubbed his hands together then turned the engine on, retrieving his phone to call you again. All he heard was ringing, your voicemail came through after, weird he thought, as he knows you always answer. He settled with leaving you a quick voicemail and then a small text, letting you know he was out of training already.

To you:

Omw home! Let me know if you need anything going to pass by to get some stuff! I love you 💙💙

All he wanted was to be home with you and his son, missing the feeling of home in your arms. Your fingers threaded through his hair, slightly scratching his scalp, knowing how it would bring him a sense of comfort. He missed his son as well, his cheeky toothy smile, his laughers, and random gibberish from times. How he would easily fall asleep on him after playing with his toys, or how he would cuddle against him.

“Shh, let’s not wake up mama!” Mason whispered as he saw you sleeping peacefully when he got home. Mateo was already awake and yawning, stretching his arms for Mason to pick him up. Mason pressed kisses along his head as Mateo snuggled close to him, the 10-month-old clearly enjoying all the love and cuddles.

He walked to the kitchen and began to heat up some water, knowing this was the exact time you drank your random cups of coffee. He sat Mateo on his high chair and shared some of his snacks: Cheeto puffs and some fruit. He snapped a quick picture and chuckled softly when he saw he held a chip in one hand and carried berries in the other. His chunky cheeks and rolls were to die for, and it was all thanks to you.

“Babe? Are you here?” you said walking in, confused when you woke up alone, you rubbed your eyes, trying to wake up a bit more. “In here! I'm with Mateo,” he chuckled when you walked in, but his heart fluttered a bit as your hair was a bit messed up, and with groggy eyes, wearing one of his black Nike shirts and tiny shorts. You cuddled against his side, your head resting on his shoulder, peppering kisses along your temple, and kissed you when you looked up. “You okay?” his voice soundly soft and a bit concerned. You nodded and yawned.

“I'm okay, just a bit tired, this whole week has been exhausting and overworked,” you groaned and stepped away, to drink some water as your throat felt dry. He followed behind you, wrapping your arms around your waist and setting his head into the crook of your neck, pressing small kisses along. “Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” you smiled at his words, feeling grateful to have him at your side always.

“Just hold me, I’ve barely seen you this week, me working, and you at the away game with Chelsea. Just need you to hug me,” you said and sighed as he hugged you a bit tighter, whispering a small ‘I love you’ when you giggled. “Wanna help me make dinner? Something simple so we don’t waste much time?” you offered and he nods, pressing a quick peck to your lips before pulling away.

“Was Mateo a hassle today?” he couldn't help but ask as he saw you clean his small hands with a wipe. “Not at all, just whined at times because his back teeth are finally coming in.” The both of you settled with sandwiches and fries, finally making use of the new Airfryer and panini maker. He helped set the table and gave Mateo his food, making sure it was cut into small pieces so he could eat, placing a small kiss on his head.

“Here’s your coffee,” Mason said, catching you off guard, “How’d you know I was in the mood for it?” you thanked him as he set it down gently, not wanting to burn you. “It’s 7 pm no?” he pretends to check the time, and you roll your eyes playfully. “I don’t know how you can drink and manage to sleep all night,” he points out.

“Used to it by now I guess,” you shrugged moaning in delight once the roasted coffee hits your tastebuds. “Good?” he teased, you turn to him with a chef’s kiss hand and say “It’s perfect.”

“I want to tell you something Y/n…” he says briefly after taking a couple of bites of his sandwich and patting his inner corners. Your pulse raises, not liking how his choice of words is making you feel anxious and stressed, you nod and motion for him to continue. He leans back a bit and rubs his chin, “So… we have a week off this upcoming week, Ive planned a small trip for us, and before you refuse, you may not say no,” he declares sternly.

You look at him dumbfounded, confused about where all of this is coming from. “I have to work Mason, and what about-” you speak but he cuts you off, “Mateo will come with us. It’s just the three of us… a family trip if you’ll say. Oh and about work, I’ve spoken to them already, a while ago to be exact,” you eye him suspiciously, wondering when the hell he had the courage to say this.

“It was during the promotion party you had, they said you deserved it after all the hard work you've done for them, and that you need it as it can be killing you at times,” you connect his words to what your coworker said today, “Have a good week, tell me all about once you're back!”

“Where are we going? And can I help in any way?” you finally say after trying to find the correct words, a burst of excitement igniting over your body. “No help, I have it covered baby, it's all done,” he says casually, knowing how you would insist to help with no hesitation. “We will be going to Madrid for 4 days and then 5 days in Rome,” he continued, you gasp when he reveals those exact locations.

Since the first time you met him, all you have done is talk about how those are future places you want to visit one day, how you will take him to them, and now that he will it feels surreal. A pure dream you may never want to wake up from. Mason knew you from the back of his hand and when he saw you cover your face he leaned over and lifted your chin up. “What’s wrong y/n?” his voice strained with pure anxiousness, you see his brown eyes staring into yours, feeling lost already in them,

“It’s nothing, it's just I'm taking it all in. I’m going to where I’ve most desired with the person I love most, making memories you with you is all I could ask for, now with our son as well,” you say wiping a tear that fell.

“You deserve it more than anything Y/n, everything you do for us, for me,” Mason says, kissing your knuckles, “Being there for me, our son, your family, hell, even mine! Always putting others first before yourself. You're so strong and brave always,” he persisted, finally not wasting time and kissing you, relishing the moment bringing his hand to the back of the head. You smiled, him doing the same and resting his forehead against yours. “Let's finish so we can head to bed, we leave the day after tomorrow,” you look at him wide-eyed, not expecting him to say that, or for it to be so soon.

“Mason! I haven't packed at all!”

~~~~~

You layed a bunch of outfits on the bed, mixing and matching jeans with shirts, some dresses, and shoes. Already irritated with the mess you would be picking up later. You did the same with Mateo’s clothes assembling his bag first to make sure nothing was missing like diapers and onesies, extra warm clothes due to the weather. Mason copied you and finished quickly, throwing whatever was convenient for him all in one luggage, packing his shoes carefully, his most adored possession.

After forcing him to help you, you sat, groaning about how your shoulders felt heavy and your lower back in slight pain. Mason did the favor and put Mateo to bed, making sure his monitor was working. He kissed your temple and helped you to bed, he snuggled into your chest, feeling how your fingers drew small shapes against his bare back. Mason was fairly too quiet, not his usual chatty self, “You're thinking too loud Mason… tell me what's on your mind?” you whispered still looking up at the ceiling.

“I’ve been thinking about our trip, about how you struggled to close the suitcase,” he teased and chuckled earning a playful slap on his back, “Sorry sorry, I’ll stop it was just funny how you jumped on top of it and couldn’t manage to close it,” he continued. It was silent and you thought how maybe he fell asleep, but his words took you by astonishment. “Do you want to have another baby, later on, Y/n?” he whispered, afraid of your answer or maybe that he may have overstepped.

“Why do you ask Mason?” you spoke shyly, he props himself up catching a view of the smile on your face by the moonlight, “You're a natural when it comes to Mateo. I fall in love all over again when I see you make him laugh loudly, or simply stand there with him attached to your hip… it makes me wonder if you want another baby,” he confesses. “Yes but not right now my love, we're both so busy and a baby is a lot of commitment. Once we're both ready and not with our hands full, I’ll be more than happy to try for another one,” you reply.

Your hand comes up to his jaw, your thumb tracing around his cheek seeing how he rests his head on your palm. He lays back down on you, before speaking up again, “What about a dog? Do you want a dog? Maybe a lab, german, or a golden retriever?” he suggests making you giggle, you kiss the top of his head, “Later… go to sleep we have to be up and early tomorrow,” he hums and listens.

You relish the memories of when you first met, him in Vitesse while you were there studying abroad. You were so shy and insecure, afraid you wouldn't be enough for him, or that it was too good to be true. The late-night walks, the timid hand holding, that later let up to hugs and kisses goodbye. When he met your family unplanned and unexpectedly as he came to visit you, that night confessing he loved you.

The silly photos that were taken on your polaroid, the fair dates where he would make sure to show off to earn you a prize, attending his games proudly wearing his shirts. When the move back to Chelsea was around he was so afraid to lose you as you weren't done with school yet, but not wanting to stop you from doing your dream. You remember the look on his face when you waited in his at the time apartment, revealing that you were back in England to graduate.

How you both found out you were expecting during a holiday with his family, him talking to your small bump promising to protect and love it unconditionally. How he refused to put him down once he was born, singing songs and reading books even though he couldn't probably understand at the time. Arguing with you about how his first was “dada’ instead of “mama”. The burst of joy when Mateo finally started walking, “Look at him go! I have to get him boots soon so we can practice shooting goals!”

How he stayed up late when you were sick and unwell, afraid of how you felt so ill and delicate, the small gestures of bringing you soup and making sure you took your medicine. That night while away giving you a promise ring, promising to be there through thick and think no matter what, promising to never ever hurt you or drift away, “I love you so damn much, thinking about a single day without you hurts. You’re my everything Y/n, all mine. My MJ.”

You look down at his sleeping figure, his lips slightly opened, his long full lashes touching his cheek, his freckles giving the best show. The broad arms holding you close, as he were afraid to lose you.

“I love you, Mason, so so much.”

[asundcr]

"i got tired of usin' my phone's hotspot! i'm a writer, i need internet!" they declare in a dramatic voice. "pretty sure i told you, but it's the network that's a bunch of random letters and numbers. password is reeceissexxxy69 — three Xs, all one word and lowercase. if you can't remember that? just remember one of the simplest truths of this apartment and you got it." reece grabs his phone, tapping away on the ordering app, "do you have strong feelings about olives? just wanna make sure." he looks up, "even non-picky people sometimes hate olives, y'know?"

" wait , what ? " cain pulls his phone right back out of his pocket to look at the connections . " when did we get wifi and why didn't you tell me ? " it's very likely that recee did tell cain and he just didn't listen . a huff and he tosses his phone gently onto the couch beside him . " gonna make you give me the password later . " cain lifts shoulders in a shrug at recee's deal . " knock yourself out . you know i'm not a picky eater . "

[thedilaraosman]

Dilara tinha passado algum tempo com Spencer depois da cabine, mas ela não tinha tido um momento para realmente colocar para fora o que sentia. Antes ela estava apenas atônita, sem ter realmente encarado a dor. Agora, ela precisava colocar pra fora ou iria explodir. A maioria das pessoas estavam dentro da casa... Ou, bem, a verdade era que ela não tinha certeza que onde estavam. Ela só tinha tentado se afastar o máximo possível de todo mundo até que o som da voz dos outros não fosse tão audível e tudo que ela pudesse ouvir fosse o seu pr��prio julgamento interno. Havia feito novamente, não havia? Se jogado com tudo e quebrado a cara. O grande problema era que dessa vez não era por algo que ele tinha feito, ou mesmo ela. Era porque simplesmente não era o jogo. E os dois tinham ido para ali com esperanças que o jogo trouxesse respostas reais. “Estúpida, estúpida, por quê?” Murmurou consigo mesmo, entre os soluços e lamentos. Tum-tum-tum. Henry ouviu as batidas rítmicas, olhando ao redor e percebendo que era Dilara batendo na lateral da cabeça com as mãos. “Ei, ei,” Henry falou de maneira autoritária, tentando realmente ter a atenção dela e correndo para pegar nos pulsos da mulher para ela parar de se bater. Desde o começo, ambos achavam que não seriam um bom match ─ ela tinha uma filha e ele definitivamente não estava pronto para ser padrasto de uma menina de doze anos. Mas ainda assim não queria dizer que ele não poderia se importar, ainda mais dela estar tentando se machucar junto dele. O match dela com Spencer era... Eles tinha uma chance em oito de serem um match. Era uma chance pequena, porém ele duvidava que ela queria ouvir sobre probabilidades ou um comentário sarcástico como ela devia só beijar o próximo (bem, o próximo podia estar bem na frente dela ─ ele faria o sacrifício). Henry definitivamente não tinha o repertório de conversas para lidar com nada daquilo, mas não tinha como simplesmente andar pro outro lado agora e deixar ela se bater ali. Devia chamar Spencer? Mas logo a solução apareceu: “Maggie,” ele falou alto quando viu a loira passar perto dali. Aquilo parecia mais uma coisa pra Maggie do que para ele. ( @r-maggs​ )

[armanicatherina]

HSHQTASK059: FAREWELL !

when did you join ? what made you join ? what do you remember from the plotlines that were current at the time ? where were you in life when you joined and where are you now ?

i want to say i first joined chambordrp in 2014 ? it didn't last too long but the group made a comeback in 2015 and i'm so so grateful that it did. admin m had asked me to join the admin team ( of just herself ) to help her with some ( hideous, i'm sure ) graphics, and here i am, this many years later ! back then, i was a baby high school student, procrastinating my assignments because my rp partners were waiting on a reply. at the time, the group was a hot mess, and the most serious plots were angsty exes and besties who had a falling out. i'd joined with some iteration of armani with a cara delevingne fc which is still so wild to me bc that will forever be gaia to me. i was going through my inbox and do you guys remember when we used to plot in our inboxes ?? i literally have asks from viveka-b from 2015 and i can't believe how far we've come.

which characters have you written over the years ?

oh goddd... armani, beatriz, a chris wood fc who's name i can't remember for the life of me, a maia mitchell, a zoey deutch, kostya, kseniya ( i still can't believe i played my own cousin 💀 ), jelani and ines... and liselotte, my samke baby <3

what is your favourite plotline that you've been part of ?

anything romanov-related i've felt so lucky to be a part of ! so much so, that i needed two whole romanovs to play with. the poisoning of alexei / roman v milena plotline had a grip on me, even though my roles were so miniscule. i'm copying answers here but i will always have a soft spot for viani. they've come so far from that six-way thread where evy and martha had to rp with themselves. ani has always been my little guilty pleasure character and i'm so glad that martha felt similarly enough for us to be able to bring them back and close their chapter. it's their two year anniversary soon, i'm in shambles.

what about other people's plotlines ?

you already KNOW i'm a sucker for ships. samke is forever my otp, i sometimes forget that femkris was a thing ?? my eyes were glued whenever we got new farnauld or annexei content. if i could list out every single hshqship here, i would. i love love <3

who is your favourite character from the ones you've played ? why ? what made you love them ? what made them so fun to write ?

i've had a surprising lot of fun playing jelani, which i really hadn't expected when he was first born, with a reece king fc. it's been so entertaining to write someone so unapologetically messy and i think what i loved most about writing with him was how easy it was to have chem with other characters. jelani and aurel were so easy, i love my brotp. jelstrid and jelimpia will always have a place in my heart. i also can't not say armani. she's not a character with too much depth but she was always a character that i could come back to for something light-hearted and one that i feel like i've grown up with. i just love the oranje-nassaus so much. not a character, but it was so much fun being a part of the gossip blog. it was so unserious and i used to read back on some of the answers and laugh at how funny everyone is.

if you could relive a plotline, which would it be ?

not exactly a plotline but every event has been so fun, even when we'd thought they'd get repetitive. the points games, the auction event, the murder mystery. i loved how involved everyone would get, both ic and ooc. you guys have kept this group so fresh and interesting.

is there a plotline that you'd edit now if you could ?

not at all.

what's a plotline you wish you would have been able to finish before closing or just write more of ?

i wish i'd gotten more time with invente ! i'm so glad that i was naomi'd into bringing ines. i had great big shoes to fill after sylvia but i had such a fun time writing ines and i'm glad i'd gotten the chance. writing fanni x ines threads really helped me better understand her character and i wish i had more time to explore her more.

what is your favourite ooc memory ?

i'm going to ditto martha and say battling the crazy muns. i know i've just written paragraphs on paragraphs about how big a part this rp has been to me but,,, we've had our fair share of crazies ! i'm glad we could all laugh about it after. the admin snapchat group with eve and evy will also have a special place in my heart. you probably don't remember but i vividly remember us all sending each other voice notes and being shocked by each other's accents ??? i was so skeptical about discord at first but i'm so glad i joined. it's made every event and each bit of drama so much juicier and it's given me the chance to get to know u all better. serre loves me so much, she sent me donuts for valentine's day last year and i'm still emo abt it

where can others find you if they want to get in touch ?

discord ! i might check this blog every once in a while but i think it's time for me to finally let tumblr rest.

what else would you like to say ?

i've said a few things here but this honestly feels so bittersweet to me. the dash has been dead for a little bit now but i've, quite honestly, still been checking it daily, hoping there'll be a little something new for me to read and hold onto. i really never would have imagined that a group of fictional royals would have had such a grip on me. each character was so fleshed out that i couldn't help but feel invested in all these stories and now that it's time for the group to close, i'm hit with the fact that i have to say goodbye to so many characters i've watched grow, but also a community that i've grown up around. my writing has improved drastically over the years and it's a testament to the sheer talent of the people in this group. every single member of this group over the years has been so instrumental in the worldbuilding and it's so crazy to look at hshq and remember that it all stemmed from a rich kids rp. i've said it to e and evy but this group is honestly legendary, in our obscure little community. not just in longevity but the rise of model fcs and medium gifs in the rpc definitely started here ! you guys are so so talented and it's been such a privilege to be a part of it. if your muse ever strikes, i hope you'll write a thread or two here. i've yet to read the final chapters popping up on my dash – i'm still in denial and i'm not ready to let these characters go. i don't want to sound too sappy and dramatic, but what we had here was truly rare. i adore you all and i hope we stay in touch <3

[changingplumbob]

Woods Household: Chapter 1, Part 7

In this final part of the chapter Samir gets a visit from his adoptive mother and brother, reminding all of us that Reece is the only one able to get more than one word or sentence from him. Samir gets ready for another shift where he tries to keep hold of his humanity.

Low level content warning: Some sim spice and mentions of death

*knocking*

Kawikani: Maybe he’s not home

Yesenia: Of course he’ll be home

Samir: Visitors?

Yesenia: Better not be calling us that or you’ll disappear in two seconds flat. Come here honey, are you doing okay? You eating properly

Samir: Suppose

Kawikani: Still a man of few words huh bro

Yesenia: Now where is that boyfriend of yours? It really is high time I meet the boy my son is living with

Samir: Fishing

Having seen guests approaching the house Reece packs up his gear and jogs back from the lake.

Yesenia: Oh look at these photos, very nice dude (she's a bro sim btw)

Samir: *smiles* Reece looks nice

Yesenia: Don’t be modest honey, you’re up here to

Samir: Suppose

Yesenia: I’m so proud of you for being brave enough to claim your home back, you know that right

Samir: *nods* Hmm

Kawikani: Reece, dude! Nice threads

Reece: Thanks

Yesenia: Is that my boys boyfriend?

Reece: Hi Ms Mireles, I’m Reece

Yesenia: Gosh, you’re a lot… younger than I expected *looks at Samir with concern*

Kawikani: Scoring a younger partner, nice one

Samir: *blushes* Yeah. We fit together *blows kiss*

Reece: Aww, thanks

Yesenia continues to look worried and at a loss for words. Samir's brother however sees nothing wrong.

Kawikani: two sentences at once bro? This day is full of surprises

Yesenia: Now Kawikani, you know your brother doesn’t like to talk, don’t make fun

Kawikani: Any updates on your parents case

Samir: Yes… werewolves?

Yesenia: I beg your pardon

Samir looks pleadingly at Reece who promptly takes over sharing what they’ve found. Samir figures Reece is better with words anyway, that's one reason why he loves to hear him talk. When Reece gets to the part about Samir turning into a werewolf Reece can feel Samir tense up, waiting on a response from his family.

Yesenia: Hopefully this will help you find some answers then. No matter what, I'll be your mother. But I know you need to know what happened to your birth parents

Samir: You don’t… mind?

Kawikani: Course we don’t bro, come here

Kawikani pulls his brother into a hug and Samir feels his chest lighten just a bit.

Kawikani: Besides, when have we ever been a typical family unit? Why not add werewolf to the mix. I seriously hope you find the bastard who killed your folks, I know you’ve always wanted a why

Kawikani and Yesenia get talking and Reece pulls Samir aside.

Reece: You need to go for a run right? You're getting restless

Samir: But blondie I get the feeling mum...

Reece: Thinks I'm immature? Yeah, me to. But hey the best way to change that is for me to talk to her right

Samir: Just know I love you, no matter what she thinks

Reece: I know. I love you to, regardless of others approval or disapproval

Samir heads out for a run while Reece tries to win over Yesenia. She’s in a tense mood so Reece attempts to calm her emotions. She’s much happier after that and Reece hopes it’s a step in the right direction.

Samir: They gone

Reece: Yep, the house is ours

Samir: Good because I need to mark again

Reece: *smiles* I have to admit, I find the claiming territory thing attractive as hell, even though puddles are included. You letting the other thousands of werewolves know this house is in your territory

Samir: You’re my territory blondie *howls* everyone out there should know *howls*

Reece: *blushes* but seriously, do you think there are others out there? Apart from whoever bit you

Samir: *shrugs* Maybe. There are... a lot of smells in those woods

Reece: Do you want to like-

Samir: Cozy up and make a werewolf bff pack, nope. You know I don’t do crowds

Samir: I see you got books, good boy

Reece: And a bookshelf to put them in boss

Samir: Wait... why are half of them romance

Reece: *chuckles* You really wonder why I'd like to read about woohooing werewolves

Samir: Well... yeah. Why read when I can show you whenever your needy self wants?

Reece: *laughs* Not that I could ever say no to you but these books could help. Myths, legends and folklore have to come from somewhere right?

Samir: I mean that sound like the excuse of a- wait... I feel like there’s something in the margins here. Do you see?

Reece: I can't see what you're seeing

Samir: I can’t see it properly enough to read it… but it’s there

Reece: Maybe your eyes are still changing, give it time

Reece: One sausage and peppers for me, one raw steak for you

Samir: *eating* thanks, it’s all I really feel like

Reece: Maybe I was wrong, if you catch all the food you eat then grocery cost shouldn’t be a challenge

Samir: Plus, the plate disappears, no dishes

Reece: Guess I’ll clean up my single dish before we head outside then, hey!

Samir: *eating* what

Reece: I thought you didn’t want to eat the meal

Samir: *chewing* I can’t resist food in front of me though

Reece: You’ll get an angry moodlet

Samir: *swallowing* worth it. Always worth it

Samir: Okay, one planter box. How hard can that be really

Reece: Just remember to keep it all square

Samir: What’s a square again

Reece: *sarcastically* Wow, you’re hilarious

Samir: I’m glad you see- ouch

Reece: What happened

Samir: I got distracted by the plant evolving lights and hit my head

Reece: Blame the watcher, I normally do

Reece: You ready for bed

Samir: Yeah. I just… it feels like I could turn tomorrow

Reece: If you do, you do. We’ll handle it

Samir: Any genius ideas of how

Reece: You take the house, I’ll take the outdoors?

Samir: *laughs* Fine, you get outside, this time. I suppose that makes sense if I’m not wanting to scare people. Now, you mentioned something about bed… woohoo and cuddles? But only cuddles after if you’re good

Reece: *giggles* such a task master

Samir: Come on. You show me what you think those books have taught you, and I'll show you some stuff I've read up on that involves your birthday gift

In the morning Samir feels his internal rage nearing its peak and marks his territory out of habit before going to find Reece.

Samir: Hey gorgeous I don’t know how long I’ll be rampaging

Reece: I should have done scouts, then we could have used smoke signals

Samir: I mean... phones exist

Reece: Have it your way, but I'll still be listening out for when the howling stops

Following breakfast Reece heads outside and makes sure the external doors are locked. More than just wanting Samir to be safe inside, he doesn’t want any nosy sims trying to check out the howling. Especially not Sheriff Captain. The dew collector has broken, again, so he fixes it before foraging for wild berries.

Samir has some leftover meat for breakfast. Not the freshest but still fresh enough. He wants to go hunting but doesn’t trust himself around others when he’s not in control of the fury within. He figures if he’s stuck inside, he may as well stress clean. He’s just finished in the bedroom when he feels the rage boil over and his body starts to shift.

Reece spends the morning fishing, or trying to fish while listening to the semi regular howls. He could always catch something in Sulani, even if he’s nowhere near as skilled as his dad. In Moonwood Mill however the fish are having fun alluding him. After a very unproductive hour at the lake he decides to switch to the river that runs through town. While he gets a change of scenery he doesn’t have any luck catching more than seaweed.

We need to mark what’s ours! No, no, we already did that. We need to do it again! Howl so Reece knows it’s not safe yet. No, howl so whoever that killer is they know not to mess with us.

Poor Samir deals with the battling voices in his head for an hour, marking his territory repeatedly and howling so much that he shoots up to being a prime werewolf! With more power seems to come more control and with a series of collecting breaths Samir is able to calm himself down, returning to his human form and unlocking transformation mastery.

Adjusting back to his human form, Samir realises he’s standing amidst an abundance of puddles. He looks around, hoping he broke the sink. Nope, sink is fine, they have to be from him. Rather than feel ashamed at the mess Samir feels something resembling… pride? (his latest temperament is prideful) Of course he managed to pee more than could actually fit in his bladder, he’s clearly going to be a wolf not to be messed with. With a smug smile he sets about starting to mop up, the marking will stay but he doesn’t need the puddles damaging the already dodgy floor.

Reece: *knocks* Can I come back in now

Samir: Sure blondie just… watch your step

Reece: I see you went to town with marking

Samir: And howling, my throat is killing me. But… I managed to turn back by myself!

Reece: That’s great! So it means you're getting some control over it, right?

Samir: It feels like it

Reece: Although that probably means whoever killed your parents…

Samir: Chose to do it in wolf form. Yeah. Hey, I need to get out of here. Come on a date with me?

The couple head back to the park in Cooperdale where they had their first not date of skipping prom together.

The two take a seat and as per normal begin flirting up a storm with each other. It helps that the rain has kept most people away from the park, as Samir really doesn’t do crowds. When Reece pulls out some mistletoe for a special kiss however, Samir realises he does really do romance, cementing his identity as a romantic sim!

Samir: So tell me blondie, are you truly okay with all that’s happened to us since we moved in together

Reece: I mean, it’s been a lot… *chuckles* wilder than I was anticipating, but yes. I’m better than okay, I’m with the guy I love. I’m happy

Samir: I love you to. Now you are still going to apply to university right

Reece: If you insist

Samir: I do. I don’t want trying to find out who killed my parents stop you from flourishing into the genius you are. Plus, there’s many ways we can study biology together

Reece: Have some ideas for that do you

Samir: *smiles wickedly* always

Reece: I mean there is a public bathroom over there if you felt like getting a head start on the curriculum

Samir: *kisses* clearly we still need to work on your patience. Let's go home

Separate dinners eaten together, some wild and playful woohoo, and Reece and Samir fall asleep happy, if on the wrong sides of the bed. This is the end of their first chapter living together, but they’ve got many more stories ahead.

Previous ... Next (Knightstone)

[mustdies]

this estate had been rife with tragedy since the start, surely it would remain long after richard was laid to rest. such is life: the reaper knocks and the earth still turns. the world turns and turns and they're all expected to change with the tide without standing in the same place for too long. don't let the current take you. it's hard to stand still. infuriating for someone ever in motion. " yeah right. " he concludes, some brief air that suggests i see right through you. he won't press too hard on the wound yet, there would be much time to upset her with his patronization. who the fuck paintballs without goggles, anyway. " you know i found an ounce i kept stashed this morning, " seven year old weed hidden from himself. lest he fell victim to the sharpest corners of his own mind and it was misplaced from its initial hiding spot when mrs. tristan or one of the other harks decided to riffle through what was left behind of his childhood bedroom. there's a silent accord, nodding his blonded head before falling into step toward the house. " i tried writing something on the plane, but it didn't mean anything. " it was just words on paper he means, mostly crafted from his manager's suggestion⸺it was devoid of what gave a eulogy impact: grief. a pause, mischief flickering across his features; he nudges her shoulder. " fifty bucks says angus breaks first. "

“Me? Joke? Never,” Reece said, shifting uneasily under Dante’s gaze—she could feel herself being studied, which was just about the exact converse of having a captive audience. Dante had this way of looking right through Reece when he wanted to, although he didn’t do it often—that was something she’d always liked about him. He respected the bit; he didn’t break it unless things seemed serious. And she knew he was going to ask again, go in at another angle, and she knew that he had to, so she tried not to blame him for it.  “I was paintballing,” she offered, a quick lie, just bizarre enough, she hoped, to seem believable. “My boss has a backyard and a collection of janky old guns. No safety goggles, though,” Reece tried—a half-truth, more or less, although Steve was actually very stringent about eye safety, and she hadn’t been over there in months. Jack hadn’t liked Reece going over to another guy’s house so much. “Anyways,” she said, redirecting quickly, “wanna head in? We’ve got t-minus-two hours to get high before we have to get sad. And I’ve still gotta write my fucking eulogy, Jesus. Oh, shit. Anyone told you yet? About the little cabarete of foster kid eulogies? You’re expected to participate,” Reece said, putting on her best impression of Mrs. Tristan’s sharp soprano at the end.