#( if you already have context it's one thing but i just think a lot about ren from the pov of anyone only seeing what he shows outwardly --

[dawndestroyer]

I have been seeing this post circulating around for quite a bit and its good and important in whats being said here, but I feel like one very big unemphasized point that people aren't taking away from this is that autistic trans women are far, far more scrutinized for any social faux pas than other autistic people AND IN FACT other autistic people very much have and will turn on our autistic trans sisters in much the same way. because the thing about social norms and their blunders and judging one's performance of them is inseperable to people applying a gendered bias and context to all of it.

it is already considered a "social faux pas" for a woman to exist and look and sound "too masculine" already. how about other common autistic social blunders like talking too loud? or too bluntly? or too friendly or too cold? or interrupting inappropriately? or misunderstanding the situation or boundaries? do you understand how a trans woman in particular would be by default more subject to disdain and alienation without the grace other people would be allowed for their mistakes? people (terfs in particular, but on a subconscious level not limited to them) attributing her mistakes to "male socialization" or some bullshit while an autistic cis woman can and will do the same thing and not at all be judged in the same way? it is just very disingenuous to separate this heinous anti-autistic ableism when the victim thats initially brought up here that has experienced this is, in particular, a trans woman

(also again, I think it would be good to accept that a lot of autistic people are very much perpetrators of this sort of behavior as well. between it being well known that autistic people are prone to having an extremely justice-oriented black-and-white thought behavior as well as a typical tendency as a disabled demographic to punch down on people worse off or not performing as acceptably, before we start attributing this event to all of us as a blanket statement. us being victims to this kind of thing at varying degrees will not ever actually stop us for doing this to others in turn)

I saw some snippet of a callout post for an autistic trans woman where they list social faux pas she committed, and I think we allistic people should all feel 100x more ashamed of not telling people in the moment how we feel about what they're doing. I think its extremely evil and cruel to not only lie to an autistic person and blame them for it but also to feel justified shaming them for your behavior. And it's currently the social norm to do that

[horreurscopes]

i wish having to remind someone something three or five or fifteen times or however many it takes until they remember it on their own was more destigmatized within the framework of disability accomodations

like i understand the emotional significance given to the act of remembering, i have myself have had the kneejerk reaction that maybe i'm not as important to someone as they say i am if they forget something i asked of them or told them. i get it. but that's like. a societal expectation that isnt necessarily true, you know.much like eye contact to mean you are listening or a smile to mean you are friendly. like, yeah, of course an asshole who isn't listening to you might not make eye contact, but that doesn't mean that every single time someone isn't making eye contact it means they are an asshole.

to me disposition is much more important than memory, especially in the realm of boundaries and cohabitation, like: let's say you don't like it when your partner puts their shoes on the bed. extremely reasonable thing to ask them not to do, and something that, if not done, would very quickly become a point of contention because them continuing to do the thing you asked them not to is interpreted as a dismissal of your feelings and a violation of a reasonable boundary. and i know a lot of people themselves already struggle putting up boundaries and enforcing them and are extremely reactive to anything that can be interpreted as a boundary being crossed, and this can be super hard to deal with. but like. disabilities ARE hard to deal with, you know, they are frustrating and they might slow you down or inconvenience you, and that's just part of the deal! is it really an accomodation if the line is drawn at whatever arbitrary point someone decides they're done accommodating? do you walk alongside a person on crutches for three blocks and then are like, ok, i've accommodated you enough, time to go at my pace now?

and yes, yes, i know "i forgot" or "i didn't know" can be used to truly harm someone else in a number of infinitely nuanced scenarios. context clues, people. to me that's where disposition comes in and separates "literally struggles to remember" from "disrespecting and pushing boundary", and i think that separation, albeit fuzzy for people who strongly correlate memory and respect, can be learned?

if my partner was like, "hey, don't put your shoes on the bed!" then a respectful disposition towards their boundaries would immediately make me go, "oh no! sorry i forgot! here, i will stop doing it immediatly, and if necessary amend the damage of me forgetting (in this analogy, washing the sheets)". and if this has to happen thirteen times before i remember on my own, i would feel truly bad about it because i'm letting my loved one down even though it's something i legitimately can't control. i don't know! it's the "if you cared, you would remember" unstoppable force vs "if you cared, you'd cut me some slack for not remembering" immovable object, it's hard. like thats what i mean by context clues, what is more likely: that a person who in every other way has shown up for you has suddenly become toxic/selfish/abusive specifically about shoes on the bed, or that they struggle to remember?

i don't know man. the way i see it, ultimately it's a lot more feasible to adjust your expectations of what someone loving you and caring about you will look like and how it shows up in their behavior, than it is to literally force yourself to remember something. and my memory issues are not even that bad! after the fifth or sixth reminder something will generally stick around (unless it's a situation that does not happen often, in which case the large stretches of time in between might hinder my progress), and like someone might just decide the rest of the Me is not worth the trouble, and that's their prerogative, but i do think it says more about them than it does about me.

everyone's always up for disability rights until it becomes inconvenient or clashes with their idea of what "good behavior" should look like. like i can't help but think that if this is something that *i* struggle with socially, i can't imagine what people who have a legitimately debilitating memory disability, who may need to be reminded forever, feel like every day of their damn lives

[bwat5-blog]

Let's Chat: Caitlyn Kiramman

**DISCUSSION AND RESPONSE TO ARCANE SO SPOLIER WARNING**

**LONG POST NOT KIDDING**

@xxbrightshadowxx

Happy March Third to you my fellow Arcane fan. It is quite obvious to anyone with a pulse that we are on far opposite ends of the spectrum of the fandom. That being said, you have made a fairly large amount of posts I've considered responding to, and I find this a much cleaner way of responding than all this re-blogging and commenting nonsense.

As it is clearly an issue for you, and I feel quite differently, we are gonna talk Caitlyn Kiramman. And as you identify yourself as "the biggest hater" I feel confident you won't mind a bit of friendly discourse. Since there is no efficient way to respond to multiple posts in one re-blog, each title in bold blue lettering will link directly to your post in question.

Recent Post Regarding Caitlyn Stans

So this of course is your most recent post I believe:

"I think the thing I hate the most about Caitlyn is her stans"

I don't have too much to say here as you are entitled to your opinions and this post is really just that. You don't feel Caitlyn was well executed as a morally grey character, you don't feel Caitlyn fans admit her mistakes, that is all within your rights. Really the only thing I will say is that as a fan of Caitlyn's character and of she and Vi's relationship, it has become increasingly difficult to spend any time discussing her wrong-doing with any detail or nuance, because so much of the rhetoric around her is completely out of control and false.

Comparing Violence In Timebomb VS Violence In Caitvi

So in this post you are comparing your criticism of violence between Ekko and Jinx during their fight on the bridge, against your criticism of violence between Caitlyn and Vi after fight against Jinx & Sevika. Speaking for myself, I am not sure why anyone would be comparing these incidents at all. They are totally different. However, I wanted to point something regarding your approach to this post.

Let's look at the amount of detail and context you include regarding Ekko & Jinx:

"Ekko and Jinx were on opposite sides of a conflict"- You go on to elaborate and explain well.

"Jinx was already known at that time to kill firelights, why would they like eachother? (for sake of honesty you wrote "why would they not" but I feel like the typo and your meaning was very clear, happens to me all the time) And with the situation on the bridge, Jinx killed a lot of enforcers. they were already in a situation of violence".

"They weren't in a romantic relationship".

"They weren't on good terms".

This is well done. You give their current status with each-other, the context for the immediate events that lead them here, a bit of their history and so on. Hardly a deep dive, but I feel like I have a good sense of where Jinx and Ekko are as characters in relation to each other.

Now let's look at your depiction of the leadup to the incident between Caitlyn & Vi:

"They kiss which basically establishes they like each other a lot"

"They were on good terms with each-other and were allies".

"They were working together to take down Jinx".

Okay all good so far I agree to each point even if we are not discussing of the complexity of what is going on between them. I cannot disagree with any of these points. But. Now we get into your list of circumstances leading to Caitlyn hitting Vi:

"Vi stops Caitlyn from shooting at Jinx when there was a moving child on top of her because shooting a weapon when there is a child nearby especially if said shooter is not in the best mindset is not a good idea".

"They (Sevika, Caitlyn and Isha) escape". (Clearly you meant Jinx, no harm no foul)

"Caitlyn insults Vi by saying she's just like the rest of Zaun and isn't different (which is also very ignorant by implying that the norm is bad and evil Zaunites and Vi is some exception to this norm) also saying it's her (Jinx) blood in your veins".

"She walks away and Vi grabs Caitlyn and asks why are you the one acting like her".

"Eight seconds pass before Caitlyn hits Vi in the stomach with her gun, before leaving her alone".

You then give your wrap-up comments regarding the incident:

Recap that they were on good terms and kissed before the fight

"The Violence had already wound down"- You elaborate on Jinx and friends already being gone and that it was no longer life or death.

You make a point showing Vi wasn't going to hit Caitlyn, elaborating that it was not a fight, but assault

"The show never acknowledges this"

"Caitlyn never apologizes for hitting Vi or leaving her. They just move straight to sex"

RESPONSE:

Alrighty. so in summary, you have presented the incident between Caitlyn and Vi as something like this-

A happy couple working together to catch Jinx get into a fight with Jinx and Sevika. Vi stops Caitlyn from shooting because it endangered a kid. So Caitlyn insults Vi, shows anti-zaun prejudice, then assaults Vi for no reason.

There are several things I'd say matter regarding this incident going into it that you did not mention. And while their exclusion does paint Caitlyn as a mean and spoiled rich girl who assaulted Vi for not getting what she wanted, it is incorrect in its entirety.

Caitlyn's Mental State-

I feel it is only reasonable to consider the impact of the long and unmentioned list of violent trauma Caitlyn has experienced over a very short period leading to this incident. After all, when we discuss the incident and its aftermath how could such things not matter? To that end, fortunately I recently prepared a time-stamped list of the relevant information on another post that covers all of the traumatic incidents needed-

Lured along with several other Enforcers to a burning building with a fake child's voice by Jinx shortly before she blows it up. She is the only survivor: S1 E4 13:29- Sequence begins

Shoots Sevika repeatedly to save Vi's life. More than likely the first time she has ever discharged her weapon at a living person. It doesn't matter the reason or justification, violence impacts you emotionally. S1 E5 5:28- Sequence begins

Survives escaping Silco and his addict/goons deep in the undercity including dodging a collapsing building. S1 E6 13:16- Sequence begins

Meets Jinx for the first time. Has weapon pointed at her. Then survives fight with Firelights. S1 E6 7:05- Sequence begins

Leader of The Enforcers shoots Ekko, and is about to shoot her while several of her peers stand and watch. Shortly after Jinx blows up the bridge, killing almost everyone, then attacks Caitlyn & Vi both intentionally trying to kill them.S1 E7 10:41- Sequence begins

Kidnapped by Jinx from the shower of her childhood home. She is nude at the time. At some point Jinx makes her dress in Enforcer uniform. S1 E8 4:35- Sequence begins *It seems like recent sources from the artbook confirm Jinx held Caitlyn for an entire day but I don't have that in front of me to confirm so we can call it speculation*

She is held bound and gagged and forced to participate in Jinx's Dinner Party: S1 E9 12:55- Sequence begins

- Listens to Jinx try and convince Vi to murder her - Manages to get free and has a gun on Jinx. Spares her at Vi's urging and gets knocked out - Jinx kills Caitlyn's mother, two other councilors, maims 2 others, and destroys the council chamber

8. Survives attack on her mother and other councilor's memorial by Zaun: S2 E1 16:26- Sequence begins

9. Survives operation of Task Force into Zaun: S2 E3 beginning of episode:

Now I know what you are probably thinking. But As I said earlier we need to remember that violence leaves a mark on you. We aren't talking fault or any of that right now. I'm just talking what state of mind is she in. So I'm sure reasonably you can see how at the very least a few days of urban combat would be raising her stress, aggression, fear and all of that.

10. Survives events of Ventilation chamber: S2 E3 18:51 sequence begins

- Survives fight with Sevika - After holding her shot for Vi the first time, Vi blocks her shot the second time and she is denied what she sees as justice (again, just suspend judgement and try to only think of impact on her state of mind)

That, is a tremendous amount of violence and death in a relatively short amount of time. Now, I don't know about you. But to me, that all seems like it may impact a persons behavior and decision making until they have time to heal and to grieve properly.

Conclusion- Mentally and emotionally Caitlyn is totally destroyed having had no time or opportunity to heal from a long series of violent, destabilizing, and immensely traumatic events.

Caitlyn & Jinx-

So the last list was more comprehensive, but we also need to discuss Caitlyn & Jinx. Why? I mean Jinx is what this all boils down to. She's the monster in Caitlyn's mind. She discusses it with Jayce, and we see it when the strike team attacks the arcade and Caitlyn shoots at what she thinks is Jinx in a wide-eyed and manic state. I'm not going to re-list everything but just think about it.

Jinx has almost killed Caitlyn repeatedly, she killed several Enforcers Caitlyn knew as people. She abducted Caitlyn naked from her home. Caitlyn spared her and Jinx killed her mother. Hate Caitlyn, call her every name in the book, label her anything you please. But if you are discussing and acting in good faith, these facts are not in dispute.

Conclusion- Caitlyn is going into this facing down someone she is very likely terrified of, and hates with all of her heart.

Caitlyn & Vi-

As you correctly point out Caitlyn and Vi are romantically linked and working together in their pursuit of Jinx. However, there is some helpful context when analyzing this situation I think should be considered:

Jinx is Vi's little sister.

Caitlyn had Jinx at gun point and did not fire because Vi begged her. Then Jinx killed her mother.

Caitlyn asked Vi to wear the enforcer badge being honest about her fear, and Vi said yes willingly. But the Enforcers still killed Vi's parents.

Before their first kiss that you mention, we see Caitlyn being uncharacteristically aggressive with an unarmed Heenot. It is bad enough to the point that Vi takes her aside and after asking to dismiss the other team members, tearfully asks Caitlyn to promise she won't change.

Vi tells to Caitlyn she is ready for it all to end, and tells Caitlyn to take the shot if she gets the chance.

Conclusion- Caitlyn and Vi go after Jinx with the both of them knowing Vi begged Caitlyn to show mercy and now Caitlyn's mother is dead, and that Vi is wearing the badge of her parents killers to try and make things right. Caitlyn is clearly losing herself to the violence and anger of everything going on, and before the confrontation Vi tells Caitlyn she knows it has to end. Not exactly simple or casual.

The Incident Itself:

So the fight goes down, and as you said it eventually comes down to Caitlyn demanding that Vi move while Vi refused to do so due to the danger to Isha. You do make a point of mentioning the shooter (Caitlyn) not being in the best mental state (which I think we have established is like saying its a tad windy in the middle of a tornado), and then we move to the aftermath where it goes down like you describe:

Caitlyn is upset with Vi for blocking the shot

Vi insists she shouldn't have had to stop Caitlyn due to the danger to the child

Caitlyn states that she thought Vi was different but she isn't. "It's her blood in your veins":

Stopping here for a moment. This was not a statement of prejudice against Zaun. She is comparing Vi to Jinx, not all of the Undercity. I can back this up with the following points:

The entire quote (S2 E3 begins 10:47) "I keep telling myself that you're different. But you're not. It's her blood in your veins".

This is quite clearly one continuing statement from Caitlyn. She specifically compares Vi to Jinx. Not to Zaunites or anyone else. Just Jinx.

Vi then responds (S2 E3 10:39) "Then why are you the one acting like her?".

This entire thing is all centered around Jinx in the dialogue and obviously linked narratively. It isn't about Zaunites in general.

4. I covered Vi's response above so from there, Vi grabs Caitlyn as she is leaving, shifts her grip to a less aggressive place, then after several seconds Caitlyn hits her.

5. Caitlyn shows clear regret before leaving:

Overall conclusion for the incident itself:

As I said, this is the overall picture you give of this incident with the amount of context and detail you included:

A happy couple working together to catch Jinx get into a fight with Jinx and Sevika. Vi stops Caitlyn from shooting because it endangered a kid. So Caitlyn insults Vi, shows anti-zaun prejudice, then assaults Vi for no reason.

But when you actually take the entire picture into account, this wildly differs from the actual events of the show.

Caitlyn is dealing with ENORMOUS amount of unresolved trauma

Jinx is the central focus of Caitlyn's rage and fear

Vi and Caitlyn care for each-other deeply, but between them is:

A- Vi being Jinx's older sister B- Vi begged Caitlyn for Jinx's life and Jinx killed Caitlyn's mother C- Enforcers killed Vi's parents and Caitlyn asked her to put on the badge D- Their first kiss is in the wake of Vi being afraid of how Caitlyn is changing from all of the violence and death around them

Caitlyn is clearly out of control when Vi is trying to stop her from shooting-

A- Caitlyn fires twice with Vi in the way even striking her gauntlet once B- Caitlyn just keeps saying the same thing over and over "Move.. She's not getting away again!"

As far as the dialogue only goes they both say something terrible in the aftermath-

A- Caitlyn tells Vi she is no different than Jinx. Knowing the guilt and horror Vi feels over what her sister has become. The guilt over Caitlyn's mother. And that Vi put on the badge to follow her on this mission. B- Vi tells Caitlyn she is acting like Jinx. Knowing full well Jinx almost killed Caitlyn repeatedly. Abducted her. And killed her mother

Not that it excuses or makes it okay. But Caitlyn shows clear remorse after hitting Vi.

Wrap Up:

Please understand, this is not about saying it was okay for Caitlyn to hit Vi. Far from. But as I said in response to that first post, we can't even get to that because of situations like this. The unfortunately simplistic version of events you provided completely misrepresents what actually occurred. It isn't about justification. Caitlyn hitting Vi cannot be justified. But it is about proper understanding based on what actually occurred. And not excluding or simplifying things to serve the purpose of demonizing her beyond what is reasonable. Let's take a look at your wrap up points-

1. Recap that they were on good terms and kissed before the fight Caitlyn growing steadily more angry and violent while dynamic between she and Vi was extremely complex 2. "The Violence had already wound down"- You elaborate on Jinx and friends already being gone and that it was no longer life or death. True the fight was over. But Caitlyn was still operating at a ten emotionally and mentally, it takes time for you to come down from that state.

3. You make a point showing Vi wasn't going to hit Caitlyn, elaborating that it was not a fight, but assault

Totally agree, not sure where this is coming from, I guess some people have suggested it or something?

4. "The show never acknowledges this"

Just because you don't consider it enough doesn't mean it didn't happen 5. "Caitlyn never apologizes for hitting Vi or leaving her. They just move straight to sex"

Caitlyn makes amends repeatedly through her deeds rather than her words:

Helps to save Vander

When Vi is wounded and Jinx is exposed she doesn't even look at Jinx, runs to save Vi instead

Keeps Jinx in the bunker rather than Stillwater, and holds off on any judgement until Vi is awake even though she could have taken her revenge and no one in Piltover would have cared

Moves the guards away so Vi can free Jinx if she chooses. Even knowing Vi may leave and Caitlyn would never see her again

*VI initiated their sex scene. Caitlyn even interrupted to make sure she was honest about Maddie*

Your last line asks the following question: "You see why this leaves a bad impression?"

My answer is yes. But it is one born of a gross over-simplification of the events leading to this moment and exclusion of anything challenging the clear anti-Caitlyn bias in your writing.

Comparing Season One Caitlyn Against Season Two

Alrighty last one I promise. So this whole post comparing your feelings about Caitlyn in season 1 to season 2. Fairly cut and dry in terms of concept. Lets look at some things you acknowledge about Caitlyn in season 1:

"Shes genuine. I never once doubted in season 1 that she had good intentions"

"She believed in justice and was ignorant to the system that pushes her family forward while pushing others down and when she's confronted with this she's defensive about it"

"Her arc is learning about the oppression the system Piltover installed was bad and wanted change to help those in the undercity"

You then acknowledge her arc did not complete in season one and that you and many others expectation was to see she and Vi forge a new path for Piltover. So lets look at your observations regarding Caitlyn in season two:

"Caitlyn looses her mom and bam, facism and dictatorship!"

"We can't let the privileged girl face consequences!"

"Grief is not an excuse for what she did"

"She gassed and used nuclear warfare against the defenseless in Zaun"

"What she and Jinx did were two different things" you clarify below:

- "Jinx did what she did because of the oppression of Topside. Everything happened because of the class problems of Piltover" - "But Caitlyn? Yes loosing a parent figure is bad, but Caitlyn proved that those were anti topside: Jinx, Sevika, and Silco were right. The police brutality, the abuse of power, the gassing the city, everything".

6. "She gets no consequences. No, her loosing an eye wasn't a consequence for her becoming a dictator. That happened because she betrayed Ambessa. And even if it was, loosing an eye is not equal to what she did. Caitlyn got to walk away scot free. She got to go back to her mansion with Vi"

Response:

Okay, first off lets get this clarified. What you observed about the hard swing in Caitlyn's trajectory was correct. It was also the point. We already listed the long list of things that happen to Caitlyn piling up higher and higher that lead to her breaking point. Then this happens. So yes, her season two arc swings hard from what we were expecting. I suspect if you were almost murdered repeatedly, abducted, spared the woman who did those things and then watched her kill your mother you might also have some chaotic emotions and mental health for a while.

Now to keep things simple lets just go point by point, so my number 1 corresponds with your number 1 regarding season 2. Pretty simple.

1. Well as we have stated now in full and fleshed out detail there is immensely more to it than losing her mother. You make no mention of the manipulations and actions of Ambessa Medarda in Caitlyn's arc but I'm not detailing all of that. This is already too long. I'll link those docs at the end should you want to read them. It should also be noted Caitlyn is neither a fascist or a dictator. The elite of Piltover agree to declare Martial Law, and they agree to Caitlyn as commander. We can do the whole technical definition of both if you really need me to but I don't think that's needed right now. 2. Caitlyn faces a variety of consequences but you repeat yourself so I'll say more for number 6

3. Agreed. Grief is no excuse. As we have now shown conclusively, it goes so far beyond just grief. But also as we have discussed it is not about excusing anything. It is about understanding. And there can be no understanding as long as we are unwilling to look at her story honestly.

4. Regarding the nuclear warfare comment I apologize. I'm not meaning to be rude, but I have absolutely no clue what you are referencing and therefore cannot give that a thorough response. Regarding the gas, no she didn't. They used The Grey targeting the chem-barons and their soldiers. This was confirmed by Amanda Overton (who I know many of you disregard, but she was one of the creators like it or not), and there is no evidence to the contrary. This does include clearing the area of civilians to keep them out of the fighting. While it is true anything gas based cannot be absolutely contained, there is a tremendous difference between being specific and controlled in their use, versus just letting it loose all over. The imagery showing people running in the streets is from two sources: A- Cassandra Kiramman's files when Caitlyn is learning about The Grey: It's clearly old, with a faded old parchment sort of look to it. The building and the clothes are all different as well. B- The hellfire video- Let's actually look at this:

"We used The Grey to clear the streets! To keep people safe!"

Sound familiar? That's what Vi tells Jinx. You may notice those people are up, and running. They aren't on their backs choking. They are hunting armed criminals with access to Shimmer, and a terrorist who likes to blow things up. Clearing the area seems prudent.

And in case you have seen any of those posts regarding the "scenes they deleted to make Caitlyn look better" Hellfire isn't a pro-Caitlyn propaganda moment in the show. They aren't glamorizing her here. Look at some of the lyrics:

Can I do the right thing for the wrong reason? Is it bad that I'm making friends with my demons, and Living by a couple deadly sins Just to make sure I finish what you began

Does it seem like they are portraying this as a good thing? No. This whole sequence is Caitlyn losing herself. Giving in more to her rage and her pain and surrendering her values in the pursuit of "justice". But lying and exaggerating don't help anything. They only divert attention away from the true meaning of the narrative.

And before we move on lets just get this out of the way. There is no evidence that short term exposure to The Grey harms anyone long term. While there is an abundance of evidence to suggest it does not. We can speculate til the cows come home about what might happen. But at the end of the day this is fiction, and The Grey does not exist. What's accurate is what we are shown is accurate.

5. Well as we have discussed repeatedly Caitlyn's motivations are immensely more complicated and involved than grief over her mother.

Regarding Jinx, this is it's own topic and one I've written on fairly recently. I'll link that here as well. But let's take a quick look here at her actions regardless of motivation:

Lit a building on fire, lured in several enforcers including Caitlyn using a fake child's voice and then blew it up to steal hex tech. Killed everyone but Caitlyn.

Killed countless Firelights.

Attacked the bridge killing several people (Marcus and clearly proven corrupt Enforcers no big loss) but then attacked and actively tried to kill Caitlyn and Vi.

Blew herself up and almost killed Ekko after he stopped fighting

Abducted Caitlyn nude from her home, dressed her in her Enforcer uniform, held her close to a day.

Bound and gagged Caitlyn and made her listen while Jinx tried to convince Vi to murder her.

After Caitlyn spared her life, Jinx knocked her out. She then proceeded to kill Caitlyn's mother, two other councilors, main 2 more, injure at least Viktor and I'm sure other's we don't see, and destroy the chamber. The fall out of this attack opens the door for Piltover retaliation bringing it down on Zaun.

Unleashes The Grey all over Piltover.

If you want to give Jinx a free pass for all of that because of Piltover, I'm afraid you and I cannot agree.

Regarding proving Silco and Sevika right. These supposed champions of Zaun:

Directly and intentionally killed Vander, Grayson and Benzo

Caused the deaths of Mylo and Claggor by taking Vander

Tried to kill Vi

Silco was quite possibly about to kill Powder before she hugged him

They unleash Shimmer on their people. A proven dangerous, addictive drug that mutates its users and can turn them into monsters.

"anti-topside" Silco pays corrupt top-side cops to hunt and kill Firelights for opposing him

Regarding Silco: He promised Jinx and Vi's mother to make a safer Zaun for the then unborn Vi. He tried to kill Vi on the steps of Felicia and Conal's dilapidated home, using destitute Zaunites hooked on the drug he flooded the lanes with.

Regarding Sevika: She knew those kids the entire time they were with Vander. As stated, she plays a part in Vander's death leading to the deaths of Mylo and Claggor, tries to kill Vi repeatedly, and even though she helped orphan Jinx the second time she clearly and intentionally messes with her head in hopes Silco will cast Jinx out.

6. Regarding formal consequences, such as the law or something. As stated Martial Law and by extension Caitlyn was all agreed to by the Piltover elite and totally lawful within the bounds of this universe. Caitlyn's actions didn't actually violate real-world standards either (I've checked) but it's important to remember this isn't the real world. She can't be held to account for violating the Geneva convention in a world with no Geneva.

Regarding consequences in the story she absolutely did. We only see her for a brief moment after defeating Ambessa but her injuries were horrendous. With her power and resources, Caitlyn could have fled if she chose. No one could make her fight. Instead she fought on the front line and faced Ambessa, and sacrificed her eye, and almost her life. And that is to say nothing of the immense mental/emotional trauma of everything that has occurred.

If you aren't counting any of that because she chose to take that risk, I'll say this.

How did we reach the point where someone subjecting themselves to harm to make things right, isn't as righteous as watching them be forced to? It sounds to me like you loved Caitlyn as long as she wasn't affected by anything she went through.

WRAP UP:

This is insanely long. I do apologize for that but I knew it was going to be going in. Responding to multiple posts in one just comes out that way. I totally understand if you just TLDR and move on with your life. But if you do respond , I look forward to your thoughts.

Below as promised I will link my docs reference to the manipulations of Ambessa Medarda and Maddie Nolan on Caitlyn, as well as my recent post regarding Jinx and her motivations. Thank you.

Ambessa Medarda's Manipulation & Control

Maddie Nolan's Manipulation & Control

Jinx was never fighting her oppressor

[arcane-ish]

So, my new fandom is real life politics or how Silco and Vander sort of changed my life

I actually wrote this back in the fall of 2024, before Arcane season 2 aired. I thought about posting it like … the week of Arcane premiering but it felt odd because the US election was around the time and in that context… it just felt wrong.

Anyway, you probably don��t know me, but it was like this: Back when Arcane originally aired for a while posted slightly crazy amounts about it. I’m the kind of person who loooooooves long philosophical and analytical exchanges and collecting information.

And then I dropped out cold turkey.

This is not unusual for me, I’m a fandom switcher. Except in this case the new topic I switched to, the two “fandoms” were somewhat oddly related.

I love the concept of Arcane and the themes and dualities it portrays. I love many facets of it, but a major poison of choice for me was Silco x Vander, followed by Timbomb aka Ekko x Jinx. And a big part is pondering the conflicts and different politics of their world view.

And just one major factor was imagining what the politics and lives of the young Vander and Silco looked like and why they fell out. I’m not a fic writer but I’ve tried to dabble (usually too scared to post stuff or too waffly to finish stuff). I thought a lot about what their younger lives might be like (inspired by some fanarts) and doing a litte bit of research into other political figures and how their political movements started out, just what the dynamics in a group like that might be, or just what kind of plots would make sense.

This kind of crossed into my genuine dissatisfaction with real life politics. And now, it’s not the big one that affects the most people, the US, with Trump and everything. I’m from a small European country, our elections already took place and the also sucked (and though it’s probably hybris a lot of the time it feels like we started it or at least were very early). I think a lot about the rise of the global right and how to oppose it, how it interlocks with and blocks so much having to do with climate change, how modern technology promotes radicalism in various shapes, how the right is straining for culture dominance again and is building its own ideology and whether or not the fracturedness of of public and cultured life influences this.

The main reason why I wanted to get involved is … I just really, really hate the guy who leads the way too successful far right in my home country. I hated all the ones before him too, but for various reasons this one feels even worse and not just because of the global influence of Putin. I just didn’t want him getting into power and me wanting to do something to help the opposition to him. I just felt that there was something bad in the air and I wanted to get involved even though the next election was quite a bit away at this time.

And yes a tiny bit was thinking of it of fic research of what discussions and relationships in small pub backroom political groups actually feel and work like. Like even if I washed out of the scene again, at least I would have fic idea, no?

I feel like I’m kind of lucky because my home country actually has some deep old political structures and it’s been kind of interesting trying to navigate through them.

To be honest: trying to get involved was a huge leap. If you try to look at it as a “fandom” it’s just so unfamiliar that it’s just all in real life, giving tons of real life people your phone number. Especially since I’m a person who has always tried to stay deeply pseudonym-based in fandom and never attend any fandom events, I always tried to keep real life and fandom life very separate and to now have a hobby, a “fandom” that doesn’t allow it, was very harrowing. But I decided I wanted to do, because I think the situation is serious and it’s worth it.

One thing that I found interesting how in some parts, the kind of low level politics I do actually does remind me a ton of fandom. To have those low level, normal people sitting around and trying to organize a party or a march or a discussion event and advertise it, form or revive a club, it reminds me so much of fandom and all the fandom weeks and zines and big bangs and art contests and fanfic gift exchanges that people are doing. Fandom I think has taught me a lot about people’s generosity and what people are willing to do just for passion and community. Fandom actually is a good example of something great and amazing that doesn’t run on straight self interest logic. And if it works in fandom, why shouldn’t that work in politics as well? I certainly know that I want more of that out there in real society.

I’ve always felt a little bit on the margins of fandom, because in the end I’m not a fanfic writer, I’m not an artist. But I’ve found my niche I feel in mostly writing long rambly metas and identifying the people who also do that and who like me get joy from gabbing on like that. And by cheerleading and encouraging the talented people in fandom and maybe trying to connect then, carry together and compile information. This is ultimately what I kind of hope to do in politics as well. I don’t want to get elected for anything. I don’t want to stand in front and give speeches. But I do want to identify the people who do that and who I like and believe are well meaning and encourage them and help them be more well known and maybe try to carry out some of the ideas that I think are important. And maybe on occasion find some people to have the real world version of the long fannish conversations with that I enjoy so much in fandom.

So yeah, because of Zaundads, and the fannish encounters and discussions I had because of them, I asked myself a lot of question, about myself, about sexuality, about organizing, about good and bad and what I believe in.

Generally, my plan was to just take a short break from my political stuff doings just long enough to watch season 2, shout about it like maybe till the end of the year and just like before dip out. I fully blame the @zaundadsbigbang for forcing me to stay in at least till that is done. XD

Right now I try to juggle both.

It’s funny. I was hoping to also do politics like I do fandom, where I dip out after a certain amount of time. Ideally, after “the job is done”, where I have encourages the local opposition parties to suck less so they can stand on their own.

But yeah, now with Trump in office, it sure looks like the job isn’t going to be “done” any time soon or just bewhere I think I can just let it slide and trust other people to handle it while I do nothing.

I dunno, I’ve been thinking on whether I should post at least some of my politic-y thoughts to tumblr. Or at least share some real life stories/historical stuff that I think kind of fits Arcane.

Like, one thing I have been thinking about a lot in regards to Arcane (and how it wasn’t a story concerned with politics and revolution in the end) how exactly how we tell those stories and how we can forge them and make them be appealing and believable. And I think Arcane is just a very good sample or jumping off point in that regard.

I dunno, I haven't decided yet.

[nyxtickled]

Did you have to fly on the place with socal again? Was it awkward or were to able to switch seats?

no, we didn’t fly together at all, thankfully. the whole situation left such a shit taste in my mouth tbh and just goes to show how much i was treated like a trophy lee instead of a person.

he asked me if i wanted to go to AUNT with him back in November i think? can’t remember. i said id love to, but not to consider me a guarantee bc the odds of me being able to afford a flight, ticket and room were slim to none. he offered to share a room with me, but didn’t mention the flight or anything (which was completely fine! i did not want him to pay for my fight) and i said that would make it much easier.

then throughout December he started posting things and tagging me on here about how we’re going to be duo lers, offer gang tickles, etc. i was like oooo yikes - bc lots of moots were getting excited about hanging with me there and i was just like, aaaah i hope i can raise enough money! so, after 2-3 of these posts came in from him, i texted him and said look i hate to ask you this but you’ve p much told all of tumblr that im for SURE going to aunt with you and that we’re gonna be a gang tickle duo. if i can’t get the money together in time, are you ok with covering my flight until i can pay you back? and he agreed saying it was no problem whatsoever.

thennnn the fallout happened as shown in the texts from the night my dog got sick. i was so hurt by the whole “one day you’re asking me to borrow money and the next i’m unsafe and terrible” blah blah. i said ok hell no i’m never ever asking you for anything financially ever again, do not even worry about it, i do not need your help, i’ll get my own way there.

then we reconciled after a 2 hour phone call the next day where i just fell for all of the claims that his play partner was psychotic and that i interpreted his context incorrectly and that he didn’t mean any of it the way i took it, yatta yatta.

then everything was somewhat mellowed out. i started trying to actually plan the trip with him, asking him if he’s gotten the room yet, if he’s gotten his own plane ticket yet, etc. he never gave me a straight answer, left me on delivered a bunch, and then eventually just told me he lost his steam for aunt and wasn’t going anymore. so i said damn that sucks, hope you change your mind bc i’m sure it’ll be fun etc.

i think in his mind, if he didn’t go, i wouldn’t be able to go. so when i reached out and connected with my angel love baby girl mik and she offered me the pullout couch in her room, i was elated!!! this meant i would only have to buy the plane ticket and id be squared away!!!

well, guess what happened the moment he found that out?

suddenly there was a mad scramble for him to find a room “for us” since the hotel was already booked out. even tho i’m the one who already made alternative room plans, he asks ME to make a post in the discord and ask people to hmu if someone cancels so he can “get a room for us.” i start getting texts from him telling me i’m his “priority” and that we’re a “package deal,” all the while we haven’t even seen each other in like a month and we barely talk anymore. only hits me up to ask me how many sessions i have planned for aunt, and to ask me if he can use me as an excuse to reject potential lees bc he doesn’t know how to say no on his own. all of a sudden he wants to claim me and say “me and nyx aren’t planning anything til we get there.” like idk it just made me feel so sick and used. bc this energy was nowhere to be found when i was actually trying to plan our trip a month prior and he said he wasn’t even going anymore.

like, idk. all of it honestly made me feel like nothing more than a reputation enhancer once again; he wasn’t interested in showing up in my life for a real dynamic, but he wanted everyone to think we had a real dynamic. he wanted to be able to show up with “nyx from tumblr” at her first ever gathering and pretend we were bffs and ultra close play partners after all the shit he already put me through like it never happened. makes me kinda fucking sick.

so, you know the rest now - i end up talking to adi, i find out all the insane shit that was said about me to her AND the insane shit that was said about her to me being false. i keep my own flight and my separate plans to room with mik, and i tell him that i won’t be playing with him there, but i won’t make things weird for him, i’ll just keep my distance. i traveled alone, landed in Albany alone, made my way to a nail salon alone, and finally met up with my love my angel my baby mik. bing bang boom!

[silverview]

i thought i'd do a self-indulgent little roundup post about my birthday, so i can look back on it someday and get emo about how lovely it was :')

concludes with my s/f report from the thursday evening show, all spoilers clearly marked!!

on the day itself i got some amazing gift fics from @donotbelasagne, @batatadulce9 & @kookaburrito (in order of posting), which was completely unexpected & wonderful 💕💕 if you like freaky rpf then you probably know where to find them! AND...

kooka also sent me this reece locket and this AMAZING lazoo doll which. i actually started yelling when i opened it & saw what it was. LOOK AT HIM. LOOK AT MY HORRID BABY

this is why i had to post the stitchup showdown opening, to at least provide context if not an explanation for my love for him 💗

my bf got me some amazing presents too, and we saw stage/fright – his 1st time, my 5th. details about the show further down, but first...!!

💕 REECE HUGGED ME!! 💕 and wished me happy birthday!!! 💕 he is the absolute sweetest and i just... yeah no words. i have rewatched the video of it a million times already. i was wearing heels so it was a biiit of a stretch for him to reach 🙈

i think this confirms he's not on ao3 lol because when i said "it's my birthday!" he didn't go pale and say "YOU! >:O"

on friday i had the best day with the lovely @spcvarney 💗 & we did a tour of the wyndham's!! she posted about this already, but the staff told us that reece has been claiming to feel ghosts touching his shoulder & stuff in the theatre 👻 of course he has

supposedly he had the same experience back in 2005 when he did as you like it there. no wonder he seems so happy there. they said that the alleged ghost has a history of reacting badly to swearing, and especially to the word cunt. 🫢

they let us go onstage, which was amazing. they asked us not to take photos of the stage/fright set & props. so of course i didn't. :) it really is an amazingly beautiful place

yesterday was my birthday party & it was rlly nice to see my family & friends, including some wonderful in9 fans, and i had the BEST time nerding out with them in person 💗 @wintersoulwitch managed to come by IN BETWEEN the evening & matinee s/f performances which was actual legend behaviour, & their varney tshirt was easily a highlight of the whole experience

at the party itself i found out that i didn't just pass my january exams (the ones that made me wish i was dead), i actually nailed them 😭😭

@mifhortunach came a long way for the party & i can't say how exciting that was 🥹❤️ we've been friends for the longest time & every time we hang out irl i have so much fun. they were the one who introduced me to in9 in the first place, so that was a nice full circle moment 😅

today i was so wrecked that i slept all morning & only woke up in time to see them off. it has been a very... VERY intense three days & this post can't possibly capture it all but yeah, these are just some highlights

i feel really lucky. i love my friends, including the ones not mentioned here & the ones who don't know that i think of them as friends. idk how i come across on here, or in person. i'm not someone who has never been deeply lonely & shy & insecure. being in this fandom is one of the strangest & loveliest things that's ever happened to me, because the people are amazing. sometimes i think about how it won't last forever, but that's okay, i'll enjoy it for as long as it lasts

my time gets stretched pretty thin. i'm never on here as much as i'd like to be, & i usually don't reply to people as fast as i'd like to. a lot of in9 fans are in the uk, so my nocturnal habits are pretty antisocial. thanks for being kind to me & patient with me :')

⚠️ stage/fright spoilers beyond this point!!! ⚠️

thursday eve was a GREAT performance!! the audio is mostly me + my bf cackling with joy. the audience were well up for it. really enthusiastic, laughing a lot. the whole play felt looser and more energetic than usual, everyone in the cast was clearly vibing

reece especially – marcus was sassier and more over-the-top than usual, and he corpsed a bunch during kidnappers, covering his mouth with his hand. on "i know how to answer the phone" he did a little jig for no reason and then burst out laughing at himself

speaking of kidnappers, the guest was julian clary (jewel ink lairy) and he was FANTASTIC, so so funny. he called s&r "heterosexual cunts" & i think the looks on their faces can best be described as delighted astonishment

i should point out that my straight, non-fandom, comedy writer bf feels that the "pudgy & homosexual" line IS most likely a reference to s&r themselves 💁🏻‍♀️

hugo's gloves were among the props left out onstage. plus the ghost light, gramophone, creepy jars, and trepanning chair from that segment. and the hare (we think it was The Hare)

the boys skipped some fairly important dialogue in their last scene: the reference to bcdr and the explanation as to why the song was cut. not sure what happened but i think reece just fastforwarded a bit by mistake. it still worked and it was still absolutely perfect. ❤️

i had happy tears in my eyes all through the song. reece was audibly belting it out and clearly having the time of his absolute life.

when miranda hennessy came out of the stage door, there was a huge cheer from a group of women across the alley who yelled "we know her!" she ran over to them & they all hugged & laughed & they said how proud they were :')))

[sovietyaoi]

I am quite sure my reading comprehension skills are totally fine and I have better things to show for it than arguing on the internet. I also don’t think I’m misunderstanding anything or taking it out of context. What I think is that you refuse to engage with my arguments, which I don’t really care about, because as I said I just wanna talk about crowferi.

Just because Ferid thinks about how he yearns for desire for women and strength doesn’t mean that it was his strongest desire as a human. Vampire’s yearn for many forms of humanity, for example death (like Ferid getting suicidal or Crowley being glad his life ended). Also Ferid isn’t getting stronger just for the sake of it but to carry out his plan. If he was, he wouldn’t have agreed to work with Guren, who now appears to have some type of authority over him. In the chapters where Ferid’s time as a human was showed it was quite clear that he was mostly interested in finding the reason for living. He was studying philosophy and he killed his parents not to gain more power but so that he could travel the world and learn more.

And your way of “explaining” vampire relationship was basically repeating your point and not engaging with any of my arguments against it. I don’t “absolutely know that it’s right” because when I entered the fandom I have already read Vassalord and knew about IWTV so I perceived Ferid’s and Crowley’s relationship the same way I did to characters in that works, I’ve never thought of them as brothers and I was surprised when I found out there are even people who believe so, as I stated previously, because there have never been claims like that in fandoms of any other vampire media I had been in.

I’ve never said their relationship wasn’t abusive, but it doesn’t change the fact it was meaningful. If you go outside you’ll notice that people aren’t perfect and do bad things to others. A ship doesn’t have to be perfect and sanitized to be good, if you can’t handle it don’t think about it, it’s really that easy. And me shipping crowferi doesn’t invalidates people who have been abused because, setting aside everything else, Ferid and Crowley are in fact not real.

I’m real tho, which may seem absurd to you, and so are most crowferi shippers, that is people who you enjoy telling to kill themselves, over the fact you disagree about something. You seem to be very keen on assuring yourself that you’re a good person, so I’m going to tell you one thing. Dehumanization is the first step towards not being in fact a good person, because if you’re ready to dehumanize a person, even over something you think is completely reasonable, eventually you’ll fine with anybody being dehumanized.

Also just because somebody can see that two characters relationship isn’t sexual doesn’t mean they can’t write smut about them? I’m pretty sure that’s how a lot of fanfiction was created, as a matter of fact. This is what transformative works mean.

The comment about being a non-religious person and saying omfg is so random, like I’m pretty sure it’s religious people who usually shouldn’t say god’s name while swearing. I’m non-religious too but I say it all the time, which I probably wouldn’t if I was religious because in many religions it’s forbidden.

And anyway tysm, I would actually love for love like crowferi to find me!

kami's rage

[shorthaltsjester]

Imogen Temult, Exaltant Hope of the Red Storm

Heroes and Monsters by Penny & Sparrow // Critical Role Campaign 3

[al-luviec]

compiled whatever this is (and I run out of tag space)

meh HoT gifs (3/?)

[holydramon]

legitimately feel tri would have been way better received (and honestly just a legitimately better series) if it didn’t treat the 02 kids like that

[unproduciblesmackdown]

costume design, set mockup, and rehearsal photos from this guide to the show that's like really thorough in providing Context like, mini articles about the creators of the original movie, musical, and movie musical, about other versions of productions, the history, quotes of other commentary, interview quotes, context of other / preexisting genres like b movies, faustian stories, "what if a plant was weird" stories, glossary of terms (such as references that may generally be less obscure if you were in the '60s, e.g.), suggested further reading....haven't read it top to bottom but i think it's fantastic, link to the pdf as post source

[5hrignold]

allan is so loyal to his job its a little scary

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

i feel like i should start making more of an effort, when i talk about something in a piece of media being Upsetting to me, to distinguish between 'cathartic' upsetting and 'gave me psychic damage' upsetting. sometimes i mean OUGH OW MY FEELINGS THIS FUCKS ME UP IN A MEANINGFUL AND RESONANT WAY, MY LIFE IS ENRICHED FOR BECOMING AWARE OF IT and sometimes i mean that it is genuinely distressing and i want to shake the creators and ask what the fuck they were thinking

[teknikolor-walters]

Just thought about c.w.and cicada and felt sick to my stomach. They make me unstable

[erabundus]

i think a lot about how calm ren seems on the surface and not only how quickly, but how DRAMATICALLY that can change in an instant.

[jlf23tumble]

saw another absurd receipt anon that's been going around surrounding AOTV and I swear to god why does people post these kind of things and the fact that it's so detailed and indepth, also insider info, it's so fake and I don't get why people bother to post them, why, for clout?? Receipts like those always causes hysteria and endless discussions, it's dumb tbh

anon 2: jen have you seen the anon who’s apparently watched aotv? i really want your thoughts on that i don’t know what to think or what to believe but i’ll be really disappointed if what they’re saying is true

+++++++++++++

I'm just gonna group these together--I've been out today, and it took me a while to figure out what everyone was all in a lather about, but it looks like a lot of other people have answered this, and a lot more coherently than I ever could! Check out this one, this one, and this one! And my tags!