#( idk what i wrote but i'm sad )
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
inkskinned Ā· 26 days ago
Text
okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.
like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).
but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.
im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.
#what the fuck.#unfortunately by the time i'd switched accounts (from personal to my poetry one)#i couldn't find it :(#this is why u SEND URSELF THE POST. WHICH I KNOW TO DO BUT!!!#i was so mad i just was like ā€œi'm about to tear this commenter in twainā€ and . lost da post#if u urself are the 29 and got recently flamed by instagram#i love u. come here. write with me. i was about to pick up a sword for u.#i mean a BIGASS sword.#like we all know im a wlw girlie but the way ppl will be like ''id NEVER write sad poetry about a MAN not LOVING me!!!"#..... wowwwww ur so cool. anyway. people often experience emotions regardless of what u consider cringe.#& if ur gonna shame straight/bi women for feeling a certain way. hope u never write about the#weird relationship between u and ur father. or feeling different from ur brother.#or how ur male best friend fucked u over. since it's SO CRINGE. to have ANY feelings caused by a MAN#like be so for real. beloved. nobody is fucking saying this when men do it.#''oh it's cringe to like a woman or feel heartbroken by her.''#controlling women's feelings and actions???? it's more likely than u think.#btw op is nonbinary do NOT be gender essential on this post i'll kill u with my teeth#edit: btw for the person who dm'd me ''when is it misogyny and when is it actually valid''#pretty easy. if a man had done it#would it be cringe? . like if a man sang a sad song about ''she broke my damn heart''?#if he said ''i want to have kids with her'' or something sexually explicit?? like would u even LIKE IT if a male poet had said it?#& if it's like. nah a 35 yr old man being upset about this is cringe too. yeah it's just cringe. that exists. we both know it does.#but .... often i see this ONLY about women. and i can't help but hear like. how back in middle school#we were fed the lie ''girls mature faster.'' ... why do i have to be emotionally regulated? but if a man wrote about the same things?#..... idk . im pretty anti cringe culture to begin with. but this one feels so bad to me . ur still a person past 33.
6K notes Ā· View notes
cy-lindric Ā· 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
ok ok ok I get it now I get why everyone was telling me to watch this oh my GOD
2K notes Ā· View notes
salmoninzeeweed Ā· 2 months ago
Text
Thinking about klance sitting in bed together, just quietly enjoying each other's presence. Lance is braiding Keith's hair, it had gotten so long since the war ended. He always used to make fun of that mullet of his, but something only hunk will ever know is how he longed to run his hands through Keith's hair ever since the first time he saw him.
It was weird to be back on earth, to not be fighting in a war and being able to wake up without alarms blaring for you to go out and fight a battle you're way too young for. Lance always imagined he would be a pilot forever, but guilt for leaving his family was keeping him from leaving them again.
Keith is leaving for the blade tomorrow, and Lance will sit in the house alone, because what purpose does he have now that he's no longer fighting in a war? But then what is he without keith? His keith, his better half.
Ever since blue left, he's been stuck in an endless loop of feelings he doesn't understand, but being with Keith makes it better, it takes those feelings away. So why won't his brain let him go with Keith to space? It's his duty to help people, why can't he do what he's supposed to do?
But in these moments, where they're sitting together in bed, hands carefully brushing through long black locks of hair, nothing really matters. All that matters is that he has Keith right now, and that he will always come back to him, they promised each other that.
Lance and keith, neck and neck, hand in hand, forever together.
(Help this was just supposed to be like a sentence long idk wtf happened save me, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SILLY I POST SILLY STUFF AAA???)
66 notes Ā· View notes
theflyingfeeling Ā· 4 months ago
Text
hello if you thought that this stupid band going on a stupid devastating world-crushing well-deserved hiatus would stop me from writing the terrible tragic miserable galaxy-brain Olli/Allu infidelity AU... lol think again <3
this one is sort of an independent sequel to this ficlet and takes place after The Decisionā„¢ šŸ–¤
~
When Aleksi got back from the Hilltop Forest cottage, the first thing he did was get out his drum set.Ā 
It was dusty from having been untouched for months (or for years? Aleksi wasnā€™t sure anymore) and he suffered through multiple coughing fits while assembling it, but at last everything was in place. He spent another moment giving the cymbals a final polishing, a hint of a grin on his lips as he imagined Tommiā€™s voice scolding him for handling them so carelessly, then he sat on the stool that squeaked from the first touch sinceā€“ yes, Aleksi still couldnā€™t remember since when exactly. Come to think of it, now that he was seated, alone in his studio, he tried and failed recalling the last time he had had time to just sit.Ā 
So he sat. He sat, until voices started echoing in his head. They were the voices of his bandmates, of their management team from Century Media. Of Joonas crying silently in the woodshed. Of her saying hi and how was the meeting before Aleksi had rushed to the studio to avoid having to say out loud what they had agreed on at the cottage.Ā 
Of Olliā€™s whisper by his ear, ordering him to stay quiet.Ā 
When the voices got too loud, he started playing.Ā 
And once he had started, he played for an entire week.Ā 
He played, until the bang of the drums muted all these voices. He played to mute the suffocating silence behind all that noise. He played until it became almost too dark to see in the studio, with the curtains drawn and the midnight sun covered by a thick veil of clouds, so he lit one of his scented candles and resumed playing. He played and played and played, from breakfast until sunset, skipping dinners and ignoring text messages from upstairs, asking him to please come to bed already, and when he stopped at last, when he could no longer hear a single thought swirling in his head, he was left in silence, his hands aching and trembling, his breathing coming in short puffs.Ā 
Something wet was spread on his cheeks. Sweat, he decided, and dried them off with the back of his palm.Ā 
Then he set the drumsticks aside, took out his phone and texted Olli.Ā 
I miss you already.Ā 
The second he had sent it, he wanted to unsend it, because fuck if it didnā€™t sound ridiculous and desperate ā€“ both of which he was, of course, but he didnā€™t need Olli to know that.Ā 
(As if Olli didnā€™t already, from the way Aleksi had begged for him to let him cum the last time they had been together.)
It was too late, though, because the second after the regret had hit him, the message was marked ā€˜seenā€™. Aleksi couldnā€™t pretend to be surprised, because thatā€™s what he had gotten used to when texting with Olli. Sometimes he felt as if Olli was already typing his reply or calling him when Aleksi had barely lifted his thumb off the ā€˜sendā€™ button. That was why it felt odd to see Olli was viewing his message but not writing back to him or to not feel the phone in his hand vibrate from an incoming call.Ā 
No matter how hard he stared at the screen, there seemed to be no reaction from Olli. It was such a strange feeling, one that scared him to the depths of his soul.Ā 
Is this what itā€™s going to be like from then on? Him in Oulu living his idyllic northern life in his idyllic northern home with her, and me down here in my desolate studio, missing him so much that I want to scream and rip my hair off?Ā 
Suddenly it was getting too loud again in Aleksiā€™s head, so he grabbed the drumsticks and was all but ready to bang his longing away, right until heā€™d feel numb, and not just in his hands. He never got around to it, though; if he had started playing a second earlier, he wouldnā€™t have heard the quiet knock on the door interrupting his intentions.Ā 
Which was an odd thing to hear in the first place, because no one ever knocked on his door.Ā 
Joel never knocked, because he always just sent Aleksi a text informing him he had arrived and Aleksi would find him standing awkwardly behind his studio door. Niko never knocked, as he just stormed right in the studio to play Aleksi his new song ideas, not noticing (or caring) what he was interrupting, even if it was Aleksi about to slide his hand down his pants in a delusional daydream about a mutual friend of theirs. Joonas never knocked either; Aleksi usually learnt of his arrival from upstairs where heā€™d be playing with Rilla before coming down to greet Aleksi.Ā 
She never knocked, because she never came to the studio. It was the one place that was his, only his in the house, from the walls he had painted himself, to the wobbly Ikea shelves he had assembled alone at two in the morning with a great deal of swearing and maybe even tears ā€“ although he wouldnā€™t admit it ā€“ to the shabby couch he had gotten from his mother when she had moved houses, to the polaroids that kept him company by his computer when he worked and which could have him travel back in time and space in the blink of an eye, to memories he would be treasuring until the very end of everything.Ā 
(All of them had Olli as the main character.)Ā 
And, well, Rilla never knocked, because she was just a little dog with no hands, so Aleksi was baffled as to who would be behind his studio door, at almost midnight on a Tuesday. During the four steps it took him to reach the door, Aleksiā€™s guesses on who heā€™d reveal when opening it ranged from an annoyed neighbour complaining about the noise, to the studio ghost his Twitch viewers kept joking about, asking to be let back in after having sneaked out when Aleksi had gone upstairs for some coffee, and somehow all of that seemed to make much more sense than what he did find behind the door.
He had not expected to find a familiar mop of curls and a pair of sad, grey eyes staring straight into his.Ā 
ā€œHey,ā€ Olli said.Ā 
ā€œHuh,ā€ Aleksi replied, which was an accurate expression of how he was feeling.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m justā€¦ here are your shorts.ā€ Olli was handing him a bundle of black fabric.Ā 
ā€œHuh,ā€ Aleksi repeated, still bewildered about the latest turn of events. He looked at the alleged shorts in Olliā€™s hand, then at Olli, and again at the shorts. ā€œYouā€¦ did you come from Oulu just to give me these?ā€Ā 
ā€œUhhh. Yeah.ā€ Olli looked almost embarrassed now, his gaze having fallen to the garment he was holding, his chin lowered closer to his chest.Ā 
ā€œButā€¦ Weā€™re gonna see each other next week. You could have given them to me at Provinssi.ā€Ā 
As if there was something in Olliā€™s eye, he blinked rapidly while reaching towards Aleksi until he took the shorts from Olliā€™s hand.Ā 
ā€œI thought youā€™d maybe need them before that. Theyā€™ve promised a heatwave after midsummer.ā€Ā 
Aleksi felt the worn fabric. It smelled different, of an unfamiliar conditioner. He wanted the garment out of his hands, but he didnā€™t want to seem rude; Olli had travelled all this way, seemingly to just give Aleksi back his stupid shorts, the ones he had seen Olli pack in his backpack (by accident or on purpose, Aleksi could only guess) the morning after they had made love for the last time and had said nothing of it (out of courtesy or on some twisted, selfish whim of his mind, Aleksi wasnā€™t sure).Ā 
ā€œWell. Thanks,ā€ he said, and tried his best to sound grateful. Perhaps, if Olli had stolen a piece of his heart and taken it to Oulu with him, it was only fair that he at least returned his shorts.Ā 
ā€œWell,ā€ Olliā€™s eyes wandered somewhere past Aleksi, now that he no longer had anything his hands to fix his eyes on, ā€œguess Iā€™ll get back, then.ā€Ā 
ā€œNo,ā€ Aleksi heard himself say, way before his useless brain could follow. ā€œDonā€™t go.ā€Ā 
Aleksi searched for Olliā€™s gaze, but when he finally found it, he regretted it immediately, for Olliā€™s eyes had welled with tears and his bottom lip was quivering.Ā 
ā€œDonā€™t go,ā€ Aleksi echoed himself. By then he was prepared to repeat it over and over, would have gotten on his knees if that was what it would have taken to make Olli stay, now that he was there in front of him again, for him to touch and hold if Olli only would let him.Ā 
Like he had, so many times before.Ā 
Even though he maybe shouldnā€™t have, for both their sake.
(Aleksi was terrified he might not, ever again.)Ā 
Olli stepped inside, the tips of their shoes touching. The sorrow in Olliā€™s eyes was going to drown Aleksi if he kept staring into it for too long, yet he couldnā€™t force himself to look anywhere else except into the depths of grey and blue.Ā 
How could he ever? Whenever he looked into Olliā€™s eyes, he felt loved like he had never before. He felt safe, even when the world around him was changing and scared him to the bone.Ā 
ā€œI miss you already too,ā€ Olli whispered. His voice was just as full of melancholy as his eyes. ā€œEvery day. Every second.ā€Ā 
That was the reply Aleksi had been left hanging without just a moment earlier. That was the reassurance Aleksi needed to toss the shorts in his hands aside and pull Olli in, their hips and chests and lips crashing together.Ā 
The heaviness inside Aleksi, the one he had tried to suffocate, gave room to hunger and yearning, to lust and urgency as they stumbled towards the couch, tangled in each other like vines. Olli let out small, soft whines with every kiss, as if he was in pain, and perhaps he was, although Aleksi hoped it was the kind of pain he himself was experiencing: pain of not having Olli close enough even though he was right there, in his arms, skin on bare skin once their shirts had flown off; pain of wanting someone you could not have, or rather, someone you did have but could not keep.Ā 
He could never keep Olli, not the way he wanted to, not for as long as he needed to. Keeping him forever was out of question, and it was naive to even wish for it, but would even that have been enough? Keeping him for one more night was nothing like forever, but it was more than never at all, was it not?
Maybe one more night was their forever.Ā 
Olliā€™s face was sombre, with his eyebrows straight lines and his lips only just parted, when Aleksi took off the rest of his clothes, never taking his eyes off Olli who lay on his back. Their eye contact was broken when Aleksi touched his lips on Olliā€™s exposed stomach and Olli closed his eyes, sighing out loud his satisfaction. The sighs grew louder the closer Aleksi got to Olliā€™s cock, so that when he finally took it in between his lips, Olli was full-on moaning ā€“ dangerously loud, but Aleksi had no intention to silence him. Olli moaning out of pleasure was the most beautiful sound Aleksi had ever heard, and if he was the cause of it, he would always do his everything to keep Olli going.Ā 
Olli was perfect under his touch. Olli was perfect inside his mouth. Olli was perfect in all the ways Aleksi could imagine; so perfect and gorgeous and sexy that Aleksi could have come just from sucking him off, just from making Olli feel good, which he had had done, in fact, many times before, but tonight he was feeling a little more selfish. He could have rubbed himself off against the couch cushions while having Olli flood his mouth with his hot cum, but the heaviness that threatened to return to his chest had other ideas.Ā 
He expected Olli to object when he gave the tip of Olliā€™s erection one last kiss before sitting up, but the man only looked up at him in silence with hooded, darkened eyes. Without a word exchanged, Olli spread his thighs as Aleksi positioned himself in between them and guided his own throbbing cock to Olliā€™s rim. Then Aleksi glanced at Olli, to wordlessly ask if he needed preparation, but instead of nodding or showing any hesitation, Olli took Aleksi by the back of his head and brought him in for another kiss.Ā 
They kissed until Aleksi slid inside Olli, as slowly as he could so as to not hurt him without driving himself crazy with want. They kissed until the throbbing of Aleksiā€™s cock became unbearable and Olli urged him to do something about it with a roll of his hips, because of course Olli noticed when Aleksi was losing it. They kissed until Aleksi began moving, in and out of Olli, tears rising into both their eyes with every deep thrust. They kissed until Aleksi was fully fucking into Olli, no longer able to hold himself back. They kissed and kissed and kissed, soft and rough at the same time, loving and furious, blissful and heartbroken, until Aleksi felt Olli tighten around him and cry into his mouth, until Aleksi filled Olli with his seed and kept on rocking his hips until he was spent, until there was nothing left of him except what thereā€™d always be left of him, even when he was too exhausted or fucked up to feel anything else:Ā 
his love for Olli. His bottomless, hopeless, good-for-nothing love for Olli, which he would soon have nowhere to put, nowhere to waste on, nowhere to keep it safe untilā€“
Until what? Until the stars would align and everything keeping them apart from each other would magically disappear with the northern wind? Until Olli would abandon his perfect life in Oulu and run back to him?
It was foolish, Aleksi knew, but it was his only hope. It was all he had left.Ā 
Besides, is that not exactly what Olli had done tonight? Perhaps it wasnā€™t as foolish after all, Aleksi thought as they lay naked on his studio couch. There was still no room for words, despite Aleksiā€™s insufferable need to tell Olli how much he needed him and how much he was going to miss him, even if Olli wasnā€™t exactly going anywhere from his life. He wasnā€™t going anywhere, except for his home in Oulu, but somehow, suddenly, Oulu seemed farther than it had ever been.Ā 
And Aleksi was scared it would only move farther away in time.Ā 
Slowly, drifting them apart.Ā 
There was no room for words, but there were two that Aleksi still couldnā€™t keep inside his mouth.Ā 
ā€œDonā€™t go.ā€Ā 
Olli traced Aleksiā€™s arm with his fingertips. Aleksi wondered how long it would take for them to touch a bass again after Christmas.Ā 
Or him, after this night.Ā 
Still, Aleksi found great comfort in the touch and buried his head against Olliā€™s neck. The kiss he then felt on his forehead would have been enough of an answer already, but he didnā€™t mind hearing Olliā€™s words either.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m not going anywhere.ā€
16 notes Ā· View notes
torchickentacos Ā· 2 months ago
Note
do you have any pokeani fic recs for the classic vibe (read: the content is unhinged and wild)
Referencing this post- long reply but I give a few pointers in these fics' direction at the end!
I'm gonna be so honest anon, I'm not sure I want to actively rec some of them šŸ˜­ A lot of them are very of-their-time (usually 2007-2013) and, while HILARIOUS, often contain things that I really don't want to 'recommend' (homophobia, sexism, a lot of slutshaming, some REALLY out of pocket stuff that is not properly warned for, etc). OBVIOUSLY I am not reccing the yikes of things so much as the rest of it (the hilarious unhinged side), but the current fandomscape leans bad-faith and assumey and I'm just not keen to fuck around and find out tbh. Ye olde fic reccing takes a level of understanding of other time periods and attitudes and customs in fandom and on FFN that I'm... not sure that all of tumblr is always very good at tbh lol. If you guys really want me to and if we can all understand that it was a different time and that enjoyment of batshit insane fics does not equal agreement with everything said or depicted in them, then come back and I'll consider it again. But for now, I'm MORE than happy to tell you guys the best ways to find them on your own lmao. It's not hard once you get it down, and anything I'd rec, I've found through this method.
First off, FFN's search system is just frustrating imo. Between a less-than-intuitive UI and people not bothering to tag characters and ships and genres properly, using it the same way you'd filter stuff on Ao3 is a fool's errand (unless you're doing it by word count/completed/etc, which is objective and automatically tallied I think). You're better off using key words. I usually ignore the filters. The only thing I filter by is fandom at the start page (all of Pokemon is under 'games' in FFN and I don't bother narrowing it down to animeverse personally due to aforementioned mistagging or an entire lack thereof).
So, what key words do I use? When looking for that specific brand of insane campy 2000s kitschy wild unhinged stuff, I usually default to searches like "PS CS IS" (poke contest ikari, there's a lotta stuff in there, sometimes there's ORS/LGS/OS/ES/AS etc and you won't always know the acronym and it's just a surprise tbh) or trope related searches like "Assassin" or "High school" or "Vampire" other words you might find in a summary. You can also search by character names (in the search bar and not in the actual filters, which are not reliable in my experience). I'd say to go for tropes and AUs as far as keywords go. I'd ALSO say to not filter by completed, because that'll filter out a lot of two-week-passion-projects that someone dropped as soon as it got flamed, and there's some fun ones in there.
That's about it, but if you find one good fic then it's worth checking the rest of what the writer has. A lot of them have a bunch of unfinished fics and there's some hidden gems. Have a good time reading, and the search is half the fun! Come back with any funny lines you find if you want :)
#it's so hard because I truly love these classic era insane fics but you've gotta understand that they're from like 2008#and I'm just not going to open myself up to any possible bad-faith interpretations.#it's also hard because like while I'm not a big blogger#there's enough of you guys that I am hesitant to do name/title-dropping for this sort of thing specifically.#I don't want someone to see this and think we're doing it to make fun of the fics#and if someone went and did that from a rec of mine then I'd be really fucking sad about it.#I love these insane 2000s fics even though a lot of them are flawed and a little yikes sometimes.#it's not an ironic enjoyment at all. it's genuine. They're nostalgic and fun and unreserved (albeit-again-a lil' yikes).#they're from when a lot of people wrote only for themselves and leaned fully into that level of self indulgence#and it's really sweet in a way to read them so much later and to see how much fun someone had writing it#now that we're all older and more aware of what we make and more nervous about how it's perceived and aware of quality.#you also tended to see a lot of author's notes about school and summer camp and writing between life#and it's just. idk. it's got such a specific feeling to it. like damn I hope [author] had a nice choir rehearsal in 2009.#I hope their swim meet went well and that their dad stopped being annoying or whatever.#none of this is ever to make fun of the fics or to be mean-spirited. i would hope that people know at this point that I LOVE cringe#thank you very much lol.#I am cringe's number one defender. go be cringe and genuine. it's better than being condescending and bored.
8 notes Ā· View notes
smolmakerel Ā· 1 year ago
Text
"You can't leave me! I won't let you!"
"Christina, lo juro por Dios [I swear to God], get the fuck out of my way or -"
"Or what? You'll hit me? Hit me then! Give me a reason to call the cops!"
"MamĆ”?!"
"You're fucking crazy! Just like that bastard's father!"
"Don't talk about him like that!"
Tara curled up under the kitchen table, one of her favorite hide-and-seek spots because of the table cloth. She couldn't understand what her parents were screaming about, Sammy piping in every once in a while, but she knew she didn't like it.
It sounded scary.
With caution, Tara lifted the cream table cloth and peaked up.
MamĆ” was beating her fists against Papi's chest, face creased in rage. Sammy was fighting to place herself between the two, but neither of the two noticed.
Tara flinched when Sammy was shoved out of the way by their papĆ”. She scrambled out from beneath the table and stood, unsure, behind her mamĆ”.
"ĀæMamĆ”? ĀæPapĆ”?" Tara uttered. Both of her padresĀ² stopped arguing and turned to her, and she shifted awkwardly. "ĀæEsta todo bien?" [Mom? Dad? Is everything ok?]
Papi's eyes softened while his shoulders sagged. "Sƭ, no te preocupes. Me quedarƩ con mis padres por el momento si quieres venir conmigo." [Yes, don't worry. I'm going to stay with my parents for the time being if you want to come with me.]
Tara blinked in confusion. Why was her papi leaving? Why did it sound like he didn't want to take MamĆ” or Sammy with them?
Before Tara could ask, MamĆ” was screaming again. She slammed her palms over her ears with a whimper. She never did like whenever they fought.
"Stop fighting!" Sammy cried out. "Can't you see that Tara's scared?!"
Papi narrowed his eyes. "Shut your bastard mouth!"
Sammy took a wounded step backwards.
Papi's eyes then went wide. He looked between MamĆ” and Sammy, then he turned his eyes to Tara.
"Is she even mine?"
"Listen -"
"Tell me the fucking truth for once in your miserable fucking life, Ā”puta!" Papi roared out, and it shook the house into silence.
MamĆ” looked away. "Of course she is."
"... I don't believe you."
Tara stumbled out of the way when Papi shoved her out of the way. She followed behind the small group and gasped when she saw Papi's business suitcase full of clothes sitting on his leather recliner.
"Ā”Papi!" Tara began to cry, finally realizing what was happening. "Ā”Por favor no te vayas!" [Please don't go!]
Papi continued to pack up despite MamƔs furious threats of calling the police, Sam's panic at the escalating situation, and Tara's full-blown meltdown.
Tara was close to hyperventilating as she threw her body at her papĆ” and clung to his leg. He tried to shake her off, but she held tightly to his gray slacks.
She was the last person he was with when they both heard yelling coming from the master bedroom. Papi had begged her to clean her room and get ready for bed, going as far as to bribe her with a homemade caramel flan. But then he abruptly left.
The yelling only increased in volume, and, after an hour, Tara crept downstairs to hide out.
Was this her fault somehow?
"P-Papi, por favor -" she wheezed, chest constricting. She could barely breathe, let alone get her words out properly.
Hands roughly shoved her away, and Tara stared up at her Papi in horror. He stared back with an equally distraught expression.
"Tara," he gasped. "Lo lamento -" [I'm sorry -]
MamĆ” burst into a fit of rage.
Tara sat on the floor for the rest of the night. She blocked out the rest of her parents' argument and sat there. She sat there while her Papi left them.
He slammed the door. He never slammed the door.
Sammy tried to help her. Tara took the inhaler but remained on the floor by the stairs, watching the door for when Papi would come back.
He never did.
62 notes Ā· View notes
eddiemunsonsmum Ā· 4 months ago
Text
Just saw this comment on a story posted a month ago.
Tumblr media
*cries in Eddie Munson Solo Series no one wanted to read, interact with or request for*
No shade to the person that commented this on their own fic if you recognize it. It's not their fault. I'm not mad at them. More crying in the tags.
#and no I didn't tag the solo series like I normally would because it's not about THAT. It's not about trying to get people to read it#It was just really ouchie to see the same concept I wrote 2 years ago get triple the notes in ONE MONTH.#and double the notes of my solo series masterlist in general in one month vs 2 years of my stories sitting there rotting#Then I see people saying they need more solo Eddie and I'm just here like my dudes I begged for requests. BEGGED. But bc I wasn't#/have never been a popular writer people don't want it from ME. It's like omg we want THIS but not like that. Not from you.#Can't help but let it get you down when nothing has changed in 2 years. It's not like I worked my way up and have the interaction now#that every other blog I used to commiserate with back in the day is getting currently. Fandom isn't a competition but it's not fair either#and I really struggle with that a lot of the time#Also yes I will concede I should be happy with the notes on the solo series because they are the highest of all the work on my page but#they're still nothing compared to what some people have just hours after posting a new story.#I saw someone complaining the other day that there are less new stories in the fandom than ever 1. That's simply not true. 2. Even if it wa#can you blame writers for giving up when readers are checking the same popular blogs over again or reading the same 5 tropes the same#2 pairings over and over. The same series? Over and over. Ignoring everything else and then complaining that their faves don't post enough?#That the popular writer with the incredible series (that rightfully deserves interaction) hasn't posted a new dad!eddie or rockstar!eddie#drabble in ages meanwhile there are writes out there pouring their souls into dad!eddie and no one reads it. There is so much rockstar Eddi#smut out there that it could sustain a brand new reader for an entire year before they needed a new fic#Idk man. I'm just feeling so defeated. I write for fun now. But there was a point in time where I desperately tried to build a platform by#offering requests and writing a lot of things I would not otherwise write to try and gain traction on my page and every time I see another#food fucking fic get hundreds of notes I get so sad that I wrote that stupid Melon fic because I had people in my life that told me#they would be excited to read it and for what? One of them still talks to me. The others moved on so fast. Most didn't even reblog it.#Some of them have since written their own food fucking fics that got triple the notes of my OG. Again. No shade to them. I don't own the#concept. It's just disheartening and fucking sad above all else. How hard I tried to get people to LIKE me and my stories. šŸ˜‚#Just sad hours in general tonight my guys. Going to go and pour the bad feelings into Aftermath and then maybe make a bad life choice and#pour all my savings into an ipad#YES I KNOW first world problems. I know. That's why I try not to talk about it bc it seems so petty considering the state of the world#But you can't help what gets you down#EMMs Journal#EMM's Journal
8 notes Ā· View notes
temp-propaganda Ā· 9 months ago
Text
I need to independently post more about Thorfinn and Einar, because those two are so dang cute, I love them.
for me, they rest in that area where I like them as any kind of relationship you want to attribute to them. I love their bond in the canon story, because I think the way they operate as found family brothers is fitting for the thematic weight that Yukimura intends their relationship to carry.
but also it's so easy to extrapolate their closeness into romance in speculative fiction. especially if they're kind of everything to each other. they share the same brain cell. they bring out the best in how their parents raised them from each other. they are drift compatible. two smart men can be one whole idiot. "brother" as in "man who I need to remain attached to, yet this is a need for which I have no other legitimizing name." but that's before they kiss and figure out that love has as many names as there are poetic comparisons to peace and beauty in this world. Einar's type is pretty blond people with sad eyes, and he loves doing the work of making things better for them. Thorfinn's type is headstrong, stubborn brunettes who are blunt, easy to talk to, and pleasant to be around. Thorfinn said "nothing good has ever happened to me" and Einar took that as a personal challenge. Einar is full of so much morally righteous indignation that Thorfinn both wants and needs to protect him at all costs. they would share the same toothbrush if they only had one to their name.
17 notes Ā· View notes
seagullcharmer Ā· 16 days ago
Text
someone left a comment on my fic and while, like, yay a comment, it's so guilt trippy which sucks
4 notes Ā· View notes
pollyna Ā· 2 years ago
Text
Dolly's face is a little rounder and softer than it was just a year ago. Mav would have missed it if her pregnant belly wasn't so visible. "Welcome back to the Gardenia, Mr. Mitchell. Your table is ready, and Malcolm is already on his way with your drink." She always used to smile so much, but he never got around to understanding if it was her service smile or if she was genuinely happy to see him, them.
The table is the same, the one near the windows that are slightly open from the moment Spring comes around, and his drink tastes like peaches and that hint of vodka that Ice used to say, "It's going to kick you in the ass, one of these days. Just wait and see." Mav used to laugh at that and at so many other things he can't remember now.
They used to be regulars around there, just after Carole died and all the anniversaries they could celebrate together, they used to come there. They were sitting in that exact spot even during their last one, when Ice's voice was long gone and they had to ask the waiter to prepare them most of the food so they could take it home at the end of the night. But they shared their dessert, two spoons, and a chocolate souffle, and Ice's hands were big and warm around Mav's, their rings shining under the light of the sunset. Mav doesn't remember if he was crying or Ice was crying, or maybe nobody was, but he remembers Ice writing "you can be my wingman anytime" with the chocolate sauce, and Mav remembers his husband's face between his hands and whispering "bullshit, you can be mine."
Now it's just him, the same table, the same drink, and the same food, every year for their anniversary. Every year, Mav orders the same food and drink, and if the light is off the right inclination, he can have the illusion of Tom being on his left side, laughing at the last prank Bradley tried, and failed, to pull on him.Ā 
"Happy anniversary, my love." he finds himself whispering in the wind every time.
76 notes Ā· View notes
kameyyy Ā· 2 months ago
Text
mey writes happy stories with happy endings challenge: impossible
4 notes Ā· View notes
martitheevans Ā· 8 months ago
Text
Thoughts From The Pub On A Sunday Night
Inhale. Breathe in the stench of stale air and plastic smoke, Cigarettes and drunks that once may have spoke Of freedom, of peace, of a new world at ease.
And to myself, I ask, how can they live? With oh so little in terms of love to give? And they swore they would fight and kick and shout Only, for themselves. every man for himself, to find his own way out.
And I wonder, is it worth it? Worth living a life like this? Is it worth the lows when I remember what I'll miss? If the cost of freedom is my familiar life Should I just stay put while living a lie?
And now I stop and think, think a moment longer, The ice in my glass melts as I sit and ponder If I were to step outside into that bitter, biting cold On this Winter's evening, would the world feel quite so old?
And if for a moment, I let my mind unwind today If it could speak for itself, I believe it would say: "Let us pursue, dammit, let's make it to Someday Then! That's when we will prevail! But, for now, let's Exhale."
4 notes Ā· View notes
moe-broey Ā· 5 months ago
Text
Can't quite find the words for it but. The Sulkerrrrrrrrr
3 notes Ā· View notes
die-tenebris Ā· 7 months ago
Text
oh yeah, life update- because you all need those and expect it from me- started watching 'the fall of the house of usher' and I'm just kinda wondering like, is subtlety dead?
2 notes Ā· View notes
coffeeandcalligraphy Ā· 2 years ago
Text
HA I'm 100% not making this camp nanowrimo goal
#I have written: 800 words so far wITH THE GOAL TO WRITE 10K?? HAHHAA#what's funny is I wrote 10k in February#about 20k in Jan#couple thousand in Dec#50k in nov#SO TELL ME WHY I'M DISAPPOINTED BY THE IDEA OF NOT HITTING THIS GOAL#listen... not making the goal doesn't make me feel sad because I'm not making the goal#makes me feel sad because idk! I love writing! I want to do that! I love living IN it#and for me living in it is soooo in the drafting process#and I feel like I've done a really... wonderful job at prioritizing writing & now I'm realizing I need to be#gentle with myself LOL#I'm moving this month after thinking I'd be moving in june#OBVIOUSLY I just finished my degree#I'll be moving into my own room (FIRST TIME EVER!! HAVING MY OWN ROOM!! A CONCEPT!!) when I get back home#lots of change haha#I think the mental strain of all of that has just made me tired#but it's not like I don't want to write ! I do! but I'm tired and that's what makes me sad#not being able to do the thing because I'm tired!#anyway I don't usually care this much about progress but I guess#since nano it's been nice to see the ā€œprogressā€ not because it's progress but because#to me it shows that I'm doing this thing I love very much#anyway proud of me for all I do!#I actually think this is why write every day works better for me than word count goals#(THE HORRORS THAT I ACTUALLY FOLLOW THIS ADVICE NOW HAHAHA)#but I liked that better cuz it was like... oh if I literally write ONE word I hit that goal LMAO#think I'll pivot my goal to that and whatever I write I write!#also writing frequently is kind of a must for me considering my short term memory is just awful#I find I get confused and flustered and overwhelmed when I don't write for a couple days#but yeah one word a day??? i can do that!
22 notes Ā· View notes
anthromimicry Ā· 9 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
sorry, halsey ā€” hopeless fountain kingdom.
#ALL POWER DEMANDS PAIN AND SACRIFICE: musings.#NO SLEEP OF THE INNOCENT. NOT FOR YOU: character study.#it kind of surprises me just how much content there is out there about being afraid of intimacy but then again-#i have heard that that is supposedly one of the most common fears that people have apparently. so yeahhh but of course i do mean emotional-#intimacy here and oh my goshhh. i never realized just how sad parts of this song were until i listened to it again.#'i run away when thing's are good and never really understood the way you laid your eyes on me in ways that no one ever could#i hate to say it BUT that is so misao. she really does feel sooo unlovable sometimes and she has this 'leave them before they leave you'-#mentality that is so saddening to have TBH but i understand why she has it. her childhood kind of left her broken in a way i think-#in ways that can't be easily explained as it was very nuanced and complicated. but GAHHH that doesn't stop me from wanting misao-#to find at least some kind of love from people šŸ˜­ like she needs at least one friend or something that she can depend on bc i feel like-#that would really help her and being in a house alone all the time whenever she's not at work can not be good for her psyche.#so petition to get misao a friend or two? JSJSJ nahhh but i am legitimately being serious at this point#she needs someone who'll stick with her through thick and thin and will be understanding of the fact that she's got unresolved trauma so-#that partially causes her to be hyperindependent but i firmly believe that she needs people just as much as anyone else.#maybe more in fact but IDK#and the fact that in this song halsey says that she still knows facts about them even though she hasn't talked to them-#in forever? i'm WEEPING AHHH#that is so like misao as well sadly. she would literally take little notes as to what thing's people like to reference later if she had a-#friend because she 'doesn't want to get it wrong' whenever she gets them a present she says but it's really so that she doesn't forget-#how precious this person is to her and how she wrote down all of their favorite things as a result.
5 notes Ā· View notes