#otp: i heard from the heavens that clouds have been grey

[pollyna]

“in another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.”

[pollyna]

Mav never gets back to sleep in that bed because he can't. He locks the room and sometimes sits on the floor by the bed but never on it. Ice's pyjama is still exactly where and how he left it that last morning with his pillow slightly moved over Mav's side. On Ice's side, there's the horrendous quilt they tried to knit a lifetime ago when Mav was grounded because of a dislocated shoulder and Ice because of a broken ankle. It's all kind of terrible but Ice used to take it around the house when he was feeling particularly cold and after cancer come back he wouldn't go anywhere without it.

There's an origami jet on Mav's pillow bc cancer took away everything from ice but not his capacity to surprise mav and show him how much he was loved. with time the paper will pass from grey and red to yellow and then white. The day Ice's handwriting starts disappearing is going to be the day Mav is going to break down in the middle of the supermarket because it has been ten years. He's still walking and breathing and sleeping in a room that isn't their own and mav is grateful and hates every single day of it.

Oh nothing just the thought of Mav sleeping on the couch because he refuses to sleep in their bed after Ice dies

The bed is perfectly made like Ice liked and it will stay like that for a while

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

It’s The Avengers (03x15)

Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)

Season 3 Episode 15: Not All Rainbows

Series Summary: Living in the Avengers facility post-apocalypse in a better timeline   Tony Stark has decided to capture every moment by pulling The Office on the Avengers. All of housemates are pretty used to the idea except for you, who had just come here to finish her degree, and the newest member- Loki.

Warnings: did someone just go and tell the otp about the otp?

Word Count: you know that feeling when you have had a bad experience on some project or assignment or homework before. And you know that thing is going to come around again next month or something like that. And you just age yourself by giving yourself anxiety by thinking everything that could go worse in that area. Yeah. So, I kinda shut that off for a few hours and wrote this.

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

An ice pack sits partially on the sofa’s arm and partially on the head that is being knocked softly- but repeatedly- by its designated owner. The fist taps that forehead with the vigour of a dedicated hammer that is softly checking the tensile strength of its mettle. The second camera takes the liberty to zoom in on Tony’s face that has the tension the size of the Alps looming over his head. Other spectators sit around, going about their activities with their five senses while the sixth was stuck on Tony. One camera panned on Wanda’s figure standing in the kitchenette, stirring her coffee cautiously, locking eyes with the lens.

Wanda: Only if you could see the monstrous cloud looming over his head. *stretches the corner of her lips* It’s made less of anger and more of worry and embarrassment. *blinks and furrows her brows* And choco-chip ice cream for some reason. *shrugs* Though I'm just glad that nothing was broken or smashed today. *stops midway* *raises her index finger* Although...

Scott: *glows inside out with a big smile stuck on his red face* *swings from side to side in the chair* Huh? What? *shakes head* Nothing. Just *inhales* I'm worried about Tony *continues to smile*

"So-" Steve took the first step and everyone held their breath- "now we know why we weren't able to reach Carol before. She is clearly...kinda...sorta stuck right where Y/N and Loki are? I think the kids are safe now." "Oh? The kids are safe? I must have missed the scene where they returned home with another weird pet," Tony remarked monotonously with his eyes still closed. Peter leaned in towards Scott. "So Loki is one of the 'kids' now." Both the shippers fist-bumped discreetly before looking all serious. The camera swivelled right towards Wanda, who shared a look of bewilderment while pointing at the joy of the shippers who were clearly not reading Tony's wavelength. And Tony was not the only one on the wavelength. There in the corner on the dining table, Clint sat lost in some thought so deep that his resting face was now a resting bitch face while he dipped his arrows in tiny bottles- the purpose of which only he knew- and handled them like his own babies. "You still have to find a way to stab him with these," Natasha was quick to mention as she walked towards her friend and sat opposite him. "Oh, I'll find a way. I was in his head too, remember," Clint pointed out. "He completely underestimates me." "Hmm," she scrunched her nose, "just remove that itch-like thing on your neck before you go after him though." "Where?" He asked as he scratched the side of his neck with the end of his arrow, his furrowed brows suddenly releasing themselves at the dawn of realisation before disappearing from the camera frame to fall down from the seat with a thud. "Told you not to wipe both ends with the same cloth," she muttered while wistfully looking down at an unconscious Hawkeye.

That One Steamy Dungeon™ No one knew how, when or why Lulu was sitting there in Carol's lap like he knew her for ages. No one knew why Carol was stroking him with the back of her fingers while her eyes were stuck on you like two magnetic poles finding that one direction and sticking to it. And you genuinely did not know why you could not stop looking at Carol. All of Carol Danvers. Especially her lips. "What?" Carol finally dismissed the silence with one casual word. "Ag-sa-wuu-you're looking beautiful," was what you came up with. Loki stared at Lulu's camera with one long blink of...slowed surprise. The buzzing camera caught all three of you sitting in the returning silence over dried hay, looking at each other before you scooched down a little to hide the embarrassment visible over your face.

You: *whisper* W-well, she does look pretty despite all the dirt she's lying in. I mean *violently points at Carol in the background* look at her!!! How can someone look sooooo fucking beautiful??? *lick your lips* Except for Loki of course. That dude is on a whole another level.

Carol threw a shirt over Loki's face from her backpack. "Weren't your looks enough this time?" "Wasn't your hairstyle enough this time?" came the retort. You sat there in the middle, your eyes moving between both of them to calculate this new chemistry you were seeing. The camera caught you pulling your legs closer to your chest. "I didn't know you two were so...close to each other."

Javier: *signing* Why? *Furrows his brows* does that make you furious, Y/N? *wiggles his brows up and down in question* Hmm? *zooms in on his face* Hmm? *turns the camera towards the screen from which he and Green are watching the live broadcast*

"Close? I met him on one mission and this punk would have been dead had I not saved his ass back then." Carol smirked through the sentence and you did not realise any time sooner that you were staring at her, your mouth almost at the edge of drooling. "You blew my cover," Loki stressed while putting on the grey free size shirt. "And then she had the audacity to make me pay for her bar bill on the next stop," he gasped while looking at you. Javier took the opportunity to make his drone zoom at your iris, catching your pupils dilate in 4K as soon as Loki started narrating the story to you while you nodded in enthusiasm. "You do realise your ex-girlfriend wants to cut off your new girlfriend's head right this moment, right?" Carol was generous to point out while getting up and wiping off all the dirt and hay. "I'm not his girlfriend." "She's not my ex-" Both of you had the synchronisation of an orchestra. Carol took this opportunity to let her eyes pass the judgment- which played from one face to another and back for sheer entertainment.

Carol: *shrugs* *runs her hand through her pixie cut hair* Priorities, I guess. *nods*

"Anyways," Loki tried to cut this weird air surrounding the three of them that apparently Lulu was the only one enjoying, rubbing himself all around Carol's leg, "do you have a plan to get out of here?" "Of course," Carol simply jerked her shoulders, "punch my way through." You blinked at the camera.

You: Is that why they are called Captain? It has to be, right?

You shook your head and looked around in the ground, leaving Loki to do the bickering on your part as well. "Well, Miss one-punch woman, this time you are not the only one that needs to escape." You found a stick in the corner. It seemed to be made of the same ashen wood that Aellae sat on in her throne room. "We have tiny mortals to save too." Carol chuckled. You raised the stick your eye level, feeling the weight in your hands when suddenly your eyes grow wide and your mouth turns into a horror-filled 'O' "What? Where is the comedy?" A violent grunt came from your lungs, turning both Carol and Loki into attack and defence mode in your direction. Lulu's camera caught you taking the stick out of the orc's stomach. The dull creature blankly looked at the blood turning into sparks flying against the gravity before slowly consuming the whole creature, taking him with them. The next twenty seconds were a pause on every breath. You finally turned around, the stick still in your hand. "Did I kill him?" you asked in a whisper. Loki and Carol shared a glance. "It was just a bruise" Loki shoved your concern away with his hands. "He's in heaven now," Carol sang. "He was a bad guy, right?" "Yes," both of them nearly shouted. "It's good that he disappeared. You helped the universe get rid of a bad guy," Loki clapped his hands before give you an awkward thumbs up. You blinked at both of them. The smile eroding on your lips slowly turned the duo uncomfortable. "Good." Was all you said for your stature completely transformed. "Because that felt..."  you did not finish the sentence, clearly concerning your company. Well, Lulu seemed to like whatever vibes you were giving off. “Y/N,” Loki pretty much sang your name cautiously, slowly lifting his hands in the air to have a word with you to process whatever you were feeling. But you were already running outside with the most suspicious giggle the room had ever heard. Carol even shivered a bit to shake it off of her.

My daddy's got a gun My daddy's got a gun My daddy's got a gun You better run

The one buzzing drone in the hallway caught the slow-motion emotion of you walking into the hallway with the ash stick in your hand like a gun- locked and loaded- with something fierce burning in your eyes. Behind you Loki was trying to catch up with the adrenaline rush you were feeling, calling out your name to stop you. Carol was close behind, cheering you on as much as she could.

My daddy's got a gun My daddy's got a gun My daddy's got a gun Ga-ga-ga-ga-ga

The orcs didn’t even seek you out. One of the reasons was the fact that you were running towards them first, swinging your arms with as much force as your body allowed, screaming your lungs out and jumping with fueled excitement whenever they went up in flames. Loki had to take a moment out of those crucial seconds to look at you. To look at that animalistic look in your eyes. Pausing for a millisecond to consciously question whether to admire it or fear it, he almost smiled. He might have stood there for a few seconds more had he not felt the blue plasmic force run by his side to destroy the one orc aiming for you from your blindside.

It started with the hayloft a-creakin' Well, it just started in the hay (loft) With his longjohns on, pop went a-creeping Out to the barn, up to the hay Young lovers and they are not sleeping Young lovers in the hay (loft) With his gun turned on, pop went a-creeping Out to the barn, up to the hay (loft)

"Seriously?!" He shouted at the glowing Captain who flew past him. "Catch up. Catch up!" she teased him while leaving a trail of bodies in her way. "ANARCHYYYYYY!!!!!!!" You howled as you ran, following your new crush. Loki sighed, his head trying to hang as low as possible as he looked at the sleek shackles around his wrists. Breathing in a lungful, he grabbed the nearest iron rail from the window looking out at the barren mountains and bent it till it broke in his flexing hand. "Is this why I am still alive?" He whispered to himself while continuing to walk in the direction you just dashed in.

My daddy's got a gun My daddy's got a gun My daddy's got a gun You better run My daddy's got a gun My daddy's got a gun My daddy's got a gun Ga-ga-ga-ga-ga Ga-ga-ga-ga-ga

Throne Room Aellae sat on the ash throne frozen in thought when one of her underlings interrupted her daydreaming with its presence. "What?" She did not disguise her displeasure. There has been a mishap on the laboratory floor, my lady." Her body automatically shifted on her seat. "Four guards are dead. The source is unknown." "Is it the woman?" "No, my lady. I just checked up on her after locking Master Loki up." "Then who is it?" "We are yet to find out. My lady." "Then why are you wasting my time by standing here and doing nothing about it?" The skinny elf-like underling bowed down to her and scurried in the opposite direction. It had reached the entrance of the throne room when a weak scream left its lungs and it stepped back- falling down in the process- to make way for the uninvited guest. The poise on Aellae's face took a turn as she looked at the person casually sauntering in her direction, never realising when she got up. "Oh, don't stand on my account," White mentioned breezily with a smirk, coming to a halt right in the middle of the room. "Zune." She called out the name like spitting a curse. "It's been a while, my least favourite Witch of the West Galactica." Zune smiled his precious smile, standing bright in stark contrast to his dull surroundings. "Last time we met, you were grovelling on the floor, begging for mercy in front of the Silver Court, asking them not to punish you for the endless crimes you committed in the last century." The composure was evidently crumbling away in little pieces. Aellae's stone-like glare was slowly turning into fast blinks. Her usually unruffled breaths were now a mocked laugh. "And the court decided to send you to arrest me? Where is the rest of the coven?" She pretended to guess before snapping her pale fingers. "Oh, right. I burned them all. Poor boys. J'uke, Fae and Mi'in were still so young." Zune huffed and smiled. "Hmm. They were really young when they fought you, weren't they? And to answer your question, no. The court did not send me here." Now this made Aellae burst into laughter. "So, you are here for revenge? For your mates?" Licking his teeth, he bit his lip and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, all the playfulness in his feature draining out with every passing second. "I am just here to clean up the mess that you made. But they are the ones who are here for revenge." Taking a step back, Zune gave Aellae a few seconds to realise that they are not the only ones in this room. And just when it dawns upon her, she sees the rest of the 'coven' come out of the shadows, surrounding her from every probable escape route this place could have. "Fae," she whispered with a deep-rooted horror in her throat, backing up into her throne when she looked at the familiar red figure walking towards her. "When you were setting us up on fire-" Fae carried no empathy in his eyes as he moved closer with every step- "you forgot that you cannot make Gods made up of ancient stars disappear when you please." Every cell in Fae's body vibrated with a demonic aura that made the witch go down on her knees. Her breaths shook and her eyes watered. The claustrophobia resulting from just his presence made it hard for her to breathe. "No," she shook her head, trying her best to mask her fear. "No. This cannot be. I destroyed you. I destroyed the senate. I destroyed everything that stood in my path. I cannot fail this time. This world needs to kneel before my power. That God needs to kneel before me. NO!!" The six looked at their leader to begin the ceremony. "Aellae of the covens abandoned, child of the dark refugees, you are hereby sent to the endless pits of the universe for your crimes against the creatures of the universe." The screams of the witch echoed throughout the castle till every last ounce of life in her voice could be heard fading away by the other group at the far end of the other wing. By the time Carol arrived, all that was left were the seven boys and a pile of ash resting by the throne. “That was fast,” she did not refrain from mentioning, “I thought it would take more than that to get her to give up.” Zune shrugged. “Well, it was easy because we had you and your friends this time. She did not have much to distract us with, unlike the last time she was in prison.” Carol smiled a kind smile at them. “I hope they didn’t give you any trouble?” Fae stretched the corner of his lips. “When you first called us to go around the universe to look for a human, we were a little sceptical. But we were glad to have met her.” “Especially Zune,” Mi’in quipped, earning a yank by the ear from the leader. “Thank you for protecting her.” “No biggie. We would have protected her even if you didn’t tell us to.” Carol furrowed her brows at the statement. “Because Loki had already asked us for that favour,” Zune mentioned, clearing any doubts, “and we owed him from way back.” Feeling the ‘ah’ of a satisfactory conclusion coming on her face, she stopped midway to hear your scream turn louder the second you got closer till you turned the corner to enter the hall with your stick, forcing yourself to stop your lungs from going any further than that. “Oh,” you straightened your stance, giving up on the attack position as soon as you realised there was no more threat, “looks like you guys already cleaned the place.” “You almost sound disappointed,” J’uke stressed, judging by your disapproval of the lack of bad guys. Loki stepped in next, clearly having taken care of whatever tried to attack them from the back. "She hurt my friend. I at least wanted to watch her burn," you simply shrugged. Fae patted your head softly. "Don't worry. You'll get your chance." He smiled the most ridiculously comforting smile. "How?" You whined, "you guys already finished her." All the seven boys, Loki and Carol shared a look with each other while you stomped her foot in the ground while staring daggers at the pile of ashes.  "Yeah-" Zune blurted out, scratching an itch in the back of his neck- "we definitely, for sure, totally killed her. Like-" he pretended to chop the air with his hand- "so smooth." Everyone nodded in agreement. Our elder boys of the group supported their leader while Carol gave them soft applause. Loki gave them a thumb's up.

You: *turning away from the scene in the background where everyone now sits outside the castle having a chat with each other* Aww *smile widely* it feels so good to watch them get along like that!! *start staring in the distance* *smile still stuck on your face* I wish my family could get along this well too. You know. *tilt your head* If all of them got along with Loki, I feel like half of the world's problems would vanish just like that. *watch Javier sign something to you* What? Merch store? *reads some more* Manga?? *looks closely at Javier as he continues to sign* Fanfi-what does any of it have to do with Loki? *camera pans in on your confused innocent face*

"Here's my little monster!" Carol talked in a tone that one used on babies while stroking a very excited Lulu. "Who's a scary boy! Who's a scary boy!!! You are!!! Yes!! You are!!!" You chuckled, watching Lulu enjoy the love and attention from the Captain, bumping his head with hers, wiggling in her lap before settling down in her arms, his adrenaline going down. "Who's that?" Carol asked him, pointing at you. Lulu chirped. "And who's mamma's boy?" Lulu chirped again. "Aaaand who's gonna protect mamma from bad guys?" Lulu growled. And then he chirped again, hiding his faceless husk hairy face in his paws. "Oh my God, he growls!!!!" you gasped. "Oh, he is got a lot more to show you, mamma! Give him time." You sat down next to Carol and stroked a yawning Lulu, who was now making biscuits in her arms. "This one's helped me a lot through this weird, fatal, dreamy galactic trip," you mentioned wistfully. The camera- as well as Carol- noticed how your brows furrowed slightly before your teeth bit down on your lower lip and you turned your gaze up to search for something in the rocky terrain before finally resting on Loki. Carol watched this subtle shift, patiently spectating how Loki too was stealing glances your way while having some serious looking chat with the boys.

The boys and Loki: *standing in the grey terrain like a bunch of Gods modelling for luxury hair products* Loki: It's spelt Z-U-K-O Zune: You named a dog after the fire God? Loki: Wha-no. It was all her *points at you*. Apparently, Coco was a bit too mushy for her. Something about 'Zuko reminding her of a guy who was in his redemption arc right now'. Whatever that means. Zune: *looked at the camera panning in on his face*

"So, you wanna go back now?" Carol asked you, her hands still busy stroking a purring Lulu. You inhaled to answer but felt yourself turning to look at Loki. Carol noticed it too. "Of course. H-how, long will it take?" you scratched your forehead. "We were actually pretty close to getting Loki free of his...cuffs. And I'm sure two powerful beings is always better than one." Carol chuckled and nodded. "Tell you what-" she took your hand in hers, something that you were not expecting- "I will go and take care of a couple of things for our return journey. Till then-" she stroked your hand- "you find out for yourself. Whatever it is that you're looking for." That gentle tone and those cryptically simple words changed some spectrum of the emotions on your face. You stared at her for a long while with your mouth agape. "What are you talking about?" Your breath asked in exasperation. "Cuffs, I guess?" she proposed softly with a knowing smirk. You forced out a laugh. "I have no idea what you're talking about," You chuckled and found yourself looking back at Loki again.

The boys- well, at a few of them- tried to calm down the God who seemed to be picking up a rock from the ground. "Okay now-" Gin, our green jellybean, raised his hands- "let's all calm down and talk about this." "Yeah, yeah. How about we all go to the nearest oasis and have a cup of starry vodka and discuss how we are all alive. Right, Mi'in?" Me'isri, sweet yellow candy boy suggested casually. "Right," Loki nearly sang. His every step towards the boys made them retreat two. "We should be happy that the witch is gone for now. What could we possibly have had to do with her anyway? Hm? What's that? Oh! She was the one who stole my essence you say?" "Look," Ho, the sky blue cheery lad was suddenly not feeling so cheery at all, "we did not know-" "You numbnuts were the one who told me that!" Loki was practically hissing through his teeth right now, his steps breaking into a jog that was letting out some potential screams waiting in some lungs. Lulu was having a gala time just jumping in whichever direction the boys ran into as Loki chased them.

[pollyna]

Mav realises summer is already upon them on a random Monday in the middle of July when, during breakfast, Ice asks him to take away the covers because they're getting in the way and making him sweat in places he didn't think he could sweat. It takes a little longer to realise this is their last summer, though. It starts with small things, like Ice asking for trips to the market and to the beach, daily trips down the beach, and the long weekend they take up to the mountains and around them on long and slow walks. It's a summer filled with so many places to see, things to eat, new beds, and Ice, who asks, almost shyly, to start having sex again. It's different from what it was, but it's so good that they both found themselves crying after.

Mav lets the thought of the chemo and the cancer slip away, far enough in his mind to not make him ask a question every time Ice answers, "Therapy is postponed. Let's take your bike out for a spin."

Then, he starts to feel it, and for a moment, he wonders if Carole felt the same and how she survived that long after Goose was gone, It starts to feel like Ice is slipping away from their bond, becoming weaker and weaker even if the man in front of him is laughing at something Slider is saying, unbothered by what Mav just realised.

It's already almost September, summer is mostly over, but Ice doesn't stop kissing him longer and harder, as if he was trying to not let Mav go, to stay and be present. Mav closes his fists around Ice's shirt and kisses him back, praying that will be enough for the bond to stop disappearing.

[pollyna]

There's only a pair of wings on Admiral Kazansky's coffin, even when he asked to be none for some bullshitting reason Maverick fucking hates. At least as much as he hates Tom for dying while he wasn't around. As much as he hates himself for the way they said goodbye.

Mav takes a step, then a second one. He can feel Sarah, Slider and Bradley's eyes on him but he can't stop moving, not until he's in front of the coffin and he feels like screaming but, instead, he places his own wings on the wood and punch them in.

"I'm going to be on your wings until the end and even after, you asshole." Mav whispers, trying not to cry.

on ao3.

[pollyna]

Now, please can you give us the story behind Mav taking the pic of Iceman in his uniform i want to know the happy parts of this slaughter you have the balls to call script.

(Mav was waiting for Ice and Ice knew.)

Source: twitter.

[pollyna]

I'm going to protect you until the very end. And he did.

Twitter sorce.

[pollyna]

Now I will forever live knowing that Mav was there, giving a speech in front of everybody, and he would have probably preferred to crumble down and cry for all the pain (physical and emotional) he was in. Wow.

[pollyna]

« We'll sit

And talk the stars down from the sky

And I'll not forget the chaos in your eyes love»,

[pollyna]

After he dies, someone in the Navy starts to play with the idea of making a biography of Iceman's life. Annapolis, Pensacola, Top Gun, the Gulf, all the missions, all the secret missions he took part in, and his stellar career in the Admiralty, all crowned by the four starts on his shoulders. And how to pass the possibility of finally having answers to all the voices about his private life? About a wife who wasn't really a wife, kids who aren't his own and used to call him uncle, the kid of another dead naval aviator who still calls him dad and all the torrid affair, supposedly, with captain Mitchell?

What they give Daniel to start somewhere is the address of a place lost in the desert and a house two hours from the nearest Naval base. The woman who lives in the second place takes one look at him and says "You can tell the Navy they can all fuck themselves and if someone tries to publish a single word on Tom I'm going to sue everyone for so much money they're going to start to have to pay everyone in candies and I'll be able to solve the food problem of the world and still fuckin' rich" before closing the door on his face. The man of the first address, now RDML Mitchell, offers him a glass of water in a hangar full of planes, bikes and spare parts with enough grief written all over his face that Daniel doesn't have the strength for asking a single damn question.

"It's not your story, or theirs, to tell." Mitchell says, smiling softly, touching the wedding ring around his finger. By the time Daniel finds himself leaving, the man is already moving around, moving this and that part, searching for something. He notices it, just before leaving the hangar: a panel of pictures with a young, tall, and blond guy hugging a kid, kissing a shorter brunet aviator, in another his arm around a guy taller than him and then the same guy growing in his adult features, still kissing a now older brunet aviator, a wedding pics, graduations and Christmas, the woman who threats to sue the Navy dancing with another woman, and so many more pictures Daniel doesn't know if a day will be enough to see them all.

"It's not your story to tell," he repeats to the Admirals two days later "his ex-wife threatens to sue the Navy for enough damage to make you close the whole hovel around here."

"Someone else will write it if you won't." One of them says.

"Let them try. I don't think they're going to receive the same hospitality, next time."

[pollyna]

Air shows are a Mav thing, always have been, and since Ice has memory of them, he never missed one. He remembers doing favours to people he would have preferred having punched in the face rather than speaking to them for more than a minute or two, just so he could be back in the States to see Mav fly. The occasion wasn't relevant: Thanksgiving, Christmas and the fourth of July, if Mav was flying Ice was on the ground watching him, taking photos and later videos, recording Slider, Bradley and the other's comments and storing it all away in his video library.

And so will be for this Halloween one. If Mav is going to be up there, flying and giving a show, showing the world and every fucking brass who's the best, Ice will be on the ground, phone in his hands, filming away a couple or thirty minutes of his memory card.

(Stading is painful, and every breath feels like a stab at his troath and lungs. The jacket and all the medals on it weigh on his shoulders and back like bricks, and the material hitches against his skin. Sarah's hands are too cold and too hot at the same time around his waist, and Tom has to grit his teeth to not beg to go back home and never move another step or speak another word. Pain used to come and go in waves where now, it's a constant companion that leaves him without any relief. But then, and for the next couple of minutes, Ice's eyes are to the sky, to the jets Mav is leading through intricate manoeuvres showing off just a little bit and Ice feels thirty again, just back from a God-awful travel on a fucking commercial plane, watching is boyfriend moving in the sky and then on the ground, sweaty and smiling with the intensity of one hundred suns. It ends before Ice can realise, and that same man is moving towards him, sweaty and smiling with the same intensity. If Ice hadn't lost his voice to cancer, he would be asking all the right questions and listening to Mav babble away for the rest of the day. He can't speak, but he can hug the man against his chest, sign that Sarah recorded it all and that was the best show he ever saw.

"You always say that, love." Mav answers, laughing against his neck. Ice doesn't let go, not yet, he hugs Mav and clings on the hope to see another one, to watch Mav moving between people to come to him, to have something else to add to his ever growing video library. Maverick hugs him back.)

[pollyna]

The day Hold my hand will stop being icemav's anthem it's gonna be a very sad day.

[pollyna]

Bradley's angst hour today taste likes:

Ice tries to reach out one last time when he doesn't have the strength to talk anymore. He knows his days are almost to their ends.

(He's going to save his last words for Mav. There were always supposedto be just for him.)

So they sent him a video where Ice asks Bradley to pick up the phone because he would like to hear is voice and not the preregistration of his voice mail. He signs I miss you, please come to visit and you always going to be my kid. I love you. When Bradley sees the message he deletes it all together, text and videos, without even opening it.

After all he can do is praying for a technological miracle because that's the last piece of his dad and just discarded it like it was trash.

[pollyna]

Dolly's face is a little rounder and softer than it was just a year ago. Mav would have missed it if her pregnant belly wasn't so visible. "Welcome back to the Gardenia, Mr. Mitchell. Your table is ready, and Malcolm is already on his way with your drink." She always used to smile so much, but he never got around to understanding if it was her service smile or if she was genuinely happy to see him, them.

The table is the same, the one near the windows that are slightly open from the moment Spring comes around, and his drink tastes like peaches and that hint of vodka that Ice used to say, "It's going to kick you in the ass, one of these days. Just wait and see." Mav used to laugh at that and at so many other things he can't remember now.

They used to be regulars around there, just after Carole died and all the anniversaries they could celebrate together, they used to come there. They were sitting in that exact spot even during their last one, when Ice's voice was long gone and they had to ask the waiter to prepare them most of the food so they could take it home at the end of the night. But they shared their dessert, two spoons, and a chocolate souffle, and Ice's hands were big and warm around Mav's, their rings shining under the light of the sunset. Mav doesn't remember if he was crying or Ice was crying, or maybe nobody was, but he remembers Ice writing "you can be my wingman anytime" with the chocolate sauce, and Mav remembers his husband's face between his hands and whispering "bullshit, you can be mine."

Now it's just him, the same table, the same drink, and the same food, every year for their anniversary. Every year, Mav orders the same food and drink, and if the light is off the right inclination, he can have the illusion of Tom being on his left side, laughing at the last prank Bradley tried, and failed, to pull on him. 

"Happy anniversary, my love." he finds himself whispering in the wind every time.

[pollyna]

They, he and Ice and sometimes Slider too, used to spend hours watching Bradley play around their little garden. He was five, then ten, fifteen and crying over some girl and then some body and then he was eighteen. Then they stopped spending all that time outside because Bradley wasn't around anymore and Maverick was back on a jet far far away to not deal with all the bullshit but still find the way to make peace with what he did.

It's not a garden but a beach, Bradley passed his twentieth birthday by a decade and only Slider is there with him. Some days they laugh about the Daggers and somedays they leave before Penny can send their drink out because, sometimes, Bradley says or moves his head in a certain way and both of them can see Goose and Ice in him so much it's like having them there. Mav knows, and Slider does too, that Bradley is more than just them and sometimes it does good to remember about it and sometimes it only helps as a reminder of what, who, they lost.

[pollyna]

Between Bradley screaming, "You're not my father." and Mav spitting out a "You aren't a parent. Certainly not Bradley's." Ice can't do much more than finding his way to Slider and then to the other side of the world.

(It takes them, all three of them, almost ten years to be on the same side of the globe. The first dinner isn't pretty.)