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#( i just have a lot of feelings || self promo. )
cogaytes · 4 months
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y'all cannot have the whole "incest and csa are serious topics that can't ever be portrayed especially not without being tagged" argument and then throw out the word pedo every other sentence and censor it like people do to get around tiktok filters (p3do) so people can't even filter it out. i'm having trouble believing that these efforts are all for survivors
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milfygerard · 6 months
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does taylor have a single debut song on any of the playlists?
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#😬 whenever discourse about Maya's book comes up#and people have very strong opinions without having read it#i've read it#but i don't know whether/how to talk about it#i just know people will misconstrue what i say#(that is - if anyone would read what i'd write on the topic anyway lol - but if anyone would then it'd be misconstrued)#i do still keep posting liam content after having read the book - also with the possibility that everything that counts is true#because “Oliver” 'only' did the awful things detailed when he was on drugs and/or drunk (including full-on psychosis)#and tbh my own exes were much worse lmaoo sorry (to my younger self)#there you go - i'm sure that will get misconstrued already ^^#there is very little self-reflection on “Mallory”'s part in the book which is kind of interesting to me#she just recounts what happened but doesn't reflect much on why she felt the way she did or look at it from different perspectives etc.#there were many moments where I was just '???' about her own motivations and feelings#like when she really wanted to have a baby with him right after his worst episode#btw it's not true that he made her have the whole abortion on her own (like she tells him in the chapter that was published for promo)#he went with her to the consultation and she got an abortion pill to take at home#but then she had pretty severe side effects from it (pain and bleeding)#and that's when he left to go to work and she had to go on her own to the hospital (and they said she was fine)#it was shitty for sure to leave her then but he didn't make her have the entire abortion all alone 😬#a few things about her annoyed me a LOT (and obviously that doesn't mean she deserved the shitty things she went through in any way)#...😬#i wish Maya would have had an editor so it would be better written#but i speculate that she specifically wanted to diy it so people don't accuse her of doing it for money fame etc. (but they do anyway lol)#discourse
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lackadaisycats · 7 months
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Hey Tracy! Have you heard about the new Ai called Sora? Apparently it can now create 2D and 3D animations as well as hyper realistic videos. I’ve been getting into animation and trying to improve my art for years since I was 7, but now seeing that anyone can create animation/works in just a mare seconds by typing in a couple words, it’s such a huge slap in the face to people who actually put the time and effort into their works and it’s so discouraging! And it has me worried about what’s going to happen next for artists and many others, as-well. There’s already generated voices, generated works stolen from actual artists, generated music, and now this! It’s just so scary that it’s coming this far. 
Yeah, I've seen it. And yeah, it feels like the universe has taken on a 'fuck you in particular' attitude toward artists the past few years. A lot of damage has already been done, and there are plenty of reasons for concern, but bear in mind that we don't know how this will play out yet. Be astute, be justifiably angry, but don't let despair take over. --------
One would expect that the promo clips that have been dropping lately represent some of the best of the best-looking stuff they've been able to produce. And it's only good-looking on an extremely superficial level. It's still riddled with problems if you spend even a moment observing. And I rather suspect, prior to a whole lot of frustrated iteration, most prompts are still going to get you camera-sickness inducing, wibbly-wobbly nonsense with a side of body horror.
Will the tech ultimately get 'smarter' than that and address the array of typical AI giveaways? Maybe. Probably, even. Does that mean it'll be viable in quite the way it's being marketed, more or less as a human-replacer? Well…
A lot of this is hype, and hype is meant to drive up the perceived value of the tech. Executives will rush to be early adopters without a lot of due diligence or forethought because grabbing it first like a dazzled chimp and holding up like a prize ape-rock makes them look like bleeding-edge tech geniuses in their particular ecosystem. They do this because, in turn, that perceived value may make their company profile and valuations go up too, which makes shareholders short-term happy (the only kind of happy they know). The problem is how much actual functional value will it have? And how long does it last? Much of it is the same routine we were seeing with blockchain a few years ago: number go up. Number go up always! Unrealistic, unsustainable forever-growth must be guaranteed in this economic clime. If you can lay off all of your people and replace them with AI, number goes up big and never stops, right?
I have some doubts. ----------------------
The chips also haven't landed yet with regards to the legality of all of this. Will these adopters ultimately be able to copyright any of this output trained on datasets comprised of stolen work? Can computer-made art even be copyrighted at all? How much of a human touch will be required to make something copyright-able? I don't know yet. Neither do the hype team or the early adopters.
Does that mean the tech will be used but will have to be retrained on the adopter's proprietary data? Yeah, maybe. That'd be a somewhat better outcome, at least. It still means human artists make specific things for the machine to learn from. (Watch out for businesses that use 'ethical' as a buzzword to gloss over how many people they've let go from their jobs, though.)
Will it become industry standard practice to do things this way? Maybe. Will it still require an artist's sensbilities and oversignt to plan and curate and fix the results so that it doesn't come across like pure AI trash? Yeah, I think that's pretty likely.
If it becomes standard practice, will it become samey, and self-referential and ultimately an emblem of doing things the cookie-cutter way instead of enlisting real, human artists? Quite possibly.
If it becomes standard industry practice, will there still be an audience or a demand or a desire for art made by human artists? Yes, almost certainly. With every leap of technology, that has remained the case. ------------------ TL;DR Version:
I'm not saying with any certainty that this AI blitz is a passing fad. I think we're likely to experience a torrential amount of generative art, video, voice, music, programming, and text in the coming years, in fact, and it will probably irrevocably change the layout of the career terrain. But I wouldn't be surprised if it was being overhyped as a business strategy right now. And I don't think the immensity of its volume will ever overcome its inherent emptiness.
What I am certain of is that it will not eliminate the innate human impulse to create. Nor the desire to experience art made by a fellow soul. Keep doing your thing, Anon. It's precious. It's authentic. It will be all the more special because it will have come from you, a human.
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seongclb · 1 year
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— enhypen reaction to waking up from a nightmare where they lost you !
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bf!enha x gn!reader, angst kind of and fluff, established relationship au & warnings of allusions to panic attacks in hoons
req. by anon
N ! hi guys shameless self promo but please show my series some love :(
♫ you’re the only good thing in my life by cigarettes after sex
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𖠗 이희승 | lee heeseung.
when he suddenly jumps in his sleep, calling for your name in cries
you jolt awake and immediately pull him into your arms
rather than forcing him awake, you stroke the sweat beads forming on his forehead away, hushing him which brings him to feel a lot safer and calmer
when he wakes up, he rests in your arms for a bit while his fear dissipates
“don’t ever leave me,” your boyfriend suddenly says
“hee, why would i ever leave you? did you dream that i would?” you ask, softly, rubbing his arms to comfort him
he nods and you frown, kissing his forehead which causes his eyes to flutter close
he doesn’t speak much for the rest of the night, just laying in your presence
that is, after all, the only place he’ll truly ever feel comfort.
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𖠗 박종성 | park jongseong.
he sleeps his best when he’s with you
like he sleeps like a baby when he holds you to sleep
which is why after an argument, and you both are sleeping in the same bed but forced to not hug one another
he gets this idea that he’ll lose you forever, and it even invades his dreams
jay wakes up so suddenly, a loud half cry leaving his lips which causes you to wake up
“are you okay?” your hands go immediately to stroke his back, comfortingly
he leans closer in your touch before he decides to nuzzle his head in your neck, “i’m so sorry, y/n. please don’t leave me.”
your heart would honestly break at this, “why would i ever leave you jay? we work through our arguments, okay? we don’t leave over them”
he nods into your neck and stays there until he regains his assurance
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𖠗 심재윤 | sim jaeyun.
even though you and jake are literally attached at the hip
he still gets these random thoughts that tell him he’s not enough or that you’ll leave him for something better one day
he can’t help but he insecure yk? you’re his most prized possession and he knows how valuable you are to other people
so when you both are sleeping and suddenly he gets these images of you leaving, he wakes up screaming “NO”
you jolt awake to see his hands on his chest and him frantically panting
as soon as your hands meet his, he seems to immediately calm down while he looks at your teary eyed
“bad dream?” you frown, squeezing his hands tightly
he nods, “i dreamt that you were leaving me”
you hug him immediately, “i love you so much, jake. i cant leave you, it’s not physically possible”
these words are enough to make him feel better
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𖠗 박성훈 | park sunghoon.
as much as he expresses how lucky you are to him, hoon often wonders how life would be without you
this leads to him spiralling and panicking
but he never voices it to you
today, it must have gotten too much for him since he starts muttering in his sleep “don’t leave me” along with calls of your name
hoon wakes up to see you’re not in your bed and he feels his chest tighten and his throat close up
he calls your name several times and finally, you appear out of the darkness
to which he jumps out of bed to hold you close to him, “don’t scare me like that, again”
“i went to get you a glass of water, babe. you were talking in your sleep”
now that you finally know how he feels, you can fix his insecurities and make him feel more assured <3
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𖠗 김선우 | kim sunoo.
sunoo has always been worried that he’s not enough for you, each time he mentions his concerns, you’re there to help make him feel better
so this time, the horrid thought seems to invade his sleep
he calls out your name several times before beginning to sob entirely
his sobs must also wake him up as he jumps to sit up, clutching his chest
you’re quick to follow him and immediately wrap your arms around him, saying “it’ll be alright”
once he calms down, he doesn’t talk about it as just how you’re there for him now is enough.
𖠗 양정원 | yang jungwon.
everyone gets insecure or jealous in the relationship
maybe it was something won heard or saw that caused an insecurity to bubble up within him
either way, he won’t mention it because he thinks it’s silly
the only way you find out is when he screams it in his sleep
after hugging him and telling him it’s okay, he asks if you heard what he dreamt about
you nod yes and he sighs but you begin to talk about how he’s feeling
and then you tell him, “won, you’re the only guy for me. the only one i love; i’d never leave you.”
𖠗 西村力 | nishimura riki
you’re his first love, all these feelings and stuff are new to him
he doesn’t expect himself to feel like he’s not enough for you, especially when you’re literally dating him
but he can’t help it
niki won’t tell you what’s wrong either, but it’s obvious that somethings on his mind
you drop the matter until bed time when the thoughts he has been hiding all day became evident in his unconscious muttering
once he wakes up, you’re at his side, “this is what was bothering you?”
his eyes are rimmed with tears as he nods
“awww, baby you should have told me. look, now they’re even in your nightmares,” you immediately hug him. “nothing would make me leave you, how can i? i love you the most.”
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huellitaa · 8 months
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⋅˚₊‧ ୨ feeling uncomfy in ur own skin
ok so this is something ive been struggling with for years. like i wake up some days and just feel Eugh way more than id like to. SO i decided i'd make a little guide on this! for me and for you 🩷✨
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 reasons why we could be feeling uncomfortable with ourselves and who we are
♡ having a shitty mental diet and consuming media and things that make you feel bad abt urself
♡ being in an environment where we're constantly being judged or put down, even over the most basic things
♡ hanging around negative people or negative places
♡ not giving urself enough credit for ur own achievements and accomplishments
♡ changing urself constantly for others and not having a clear sense of self to hold on to
♡ not having boundaries on how you and others treat you
♡ staying stagnant in the same place in your life and not changing (🎀🗒️also read: get comfy being uncomfy ♡)
♡ not paying enough attention to yourself and avoiding your genuine thoughts, feelings and emotions
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🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 1. be gentle with yourself!
pleasepleaseplease its ok to have bad days its ok to not feel great every day. treat yourself as you would someone you love. if you just aren't feeling good today, then you aren't feeling good! honour that and respect that and deal with that accordingly. even if you are uncomfortable with yourself right now or you don't like yourself right now, please try and treat yourself with care regardless, because no matter what stage you are in in your life right now you are and always will be the most important person in ur life, so TREAT URSELF LIKE IT🫶💖
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 2. inspiration, not comparison!
i know its often told not to go looking at people who are ahead of you in these times but hear me out. i think looking at and observing people you admire who are further ahead of you is very motivating to build yourself up and *become more like them* in your own way. you look up to them because of ___? what can you do to become your own version of that? thinking like this gets me more inspired to just get out of bed because i want to be more like them.
two words for this one - NO. COMPARISON. gaining inspiration from others to better yourself and comparing yourself to others are two completely different things. 🫶 (shameless self promo, but i have a post on this here! 🩷✨)
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 3. analysis: detective work chapter!
journal and think and think to urself why u might feel like this or what caused this. when did it start? has anything happened lately that may have caused this? how does it feel, in depth? what can you do to combat this? how can you make it through the day & make it so you do even better tomorrow?
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 4. channeling the mindset!
back to my point on our idols, thinking like them & thinking what they'd do in this situation helps me a lot. personally one of my idols is ada lovelace so whenever im really tired and unmotivated or insecure on my abilities or appearance or anything else i think to myself "what would she do?" and 9 times out of 10 im up at my desk in my cutest outfit hard at work. this is def one of my favourite points and something i use on the daily for like literally everything and 100% recommend 🩷✨
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 5. what would i do?
similarly, ask urself what the best version of yourself or the version of urself youre working towards would do in this situation. be your own inspiration. be ur own muse. would they stay in bed and rot all day? if the answer is no then ur up. out. immediately. ask urself what they would do. if ur feeling drained, would they take a day off to do some self care and recharge? if ur feeling sad, would they be gentle with themselves and let themselves feel sad for a little while & try to work to the root of the problem?
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 6. understanding yourself!
make a list of the things that make you the happiest and most comfortable & productive and the things that make you the unhappiest and the opposite of those things. i mentioned this in my recharge day post, but figuring out these will help you find out which negative behaviours or habits are lowering ur vibrations and making u feel like this, and help u to engage more in the things that make you happy with yourself and everything around you 💗✨
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 7. pay attention!
pay close attention to ur internal landscape and your self talk throughout the day. note down every little thing you notice, even if you think it won't be helpful; for example, do you find yourself indulging in negative talk abt urself, negative talk abt others, constantly being pessimistic and expecting the worst, indulging in judgement and criticism of urself and everyone around you, getting distracted easily, and so on.
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 8. what would i do, part 2
like i mentioned earlier, you should be your own inspiration. you should be your own muse. as much as it's nice to have idols, when ur trying to change something about urself and adjust and improve ur own behaviours, you should be mainly focusing on what you want to achieve by changing said behaviours. do you know who you're working towards being? do you know how you want to feel? do you know what you are changing these things you feel into? think about whether or not the person you are now lines up with the person you want to be in all aspects of ur life. if you feel like you aren't even trying to meet these standards then of course ur gonna feel bad about urself. of course don't be too hard on urself, but keep this in mind. 💓✨
finally, remember that these things are temporary and it wont be like this forever. ur beautiful and perfect no matter what and in these times u gotta show up for yourself even more and never give up! i believe in u 🫶🩷
all my love 💗💬✨🎀
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astro-royale · 9 months
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AstroObservations:Pt12 🍒
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Disclaimer: my opinion💋💋💋
Venus 9th house individuals may travel a lot in their childhood
Pisces moon individuals are very pleasant and calming to be around. They may also be naturally good painters.
Yeah what they say about 18 degrees is true. It will cause health problems or it will create a vicious cycle where someone is always working on improving that particular thing because the energy there isn’t stable.
Mars vs Pluto (Pluto is the higher octave of Mars) in the first house… Mars 1st house will be very overtly aggressive or open with their anger. May come across as assertive, independent, someone who is confident in what they have to say. It’s very “what you see is what you get” and it feels much more extroverted. They don’t find it uncomfortable to call things out.
Pluto first house however is much more secretive, and the power it conveys does not have to be directly spoken about. It is like something emanating beneath the surface and can seem shady or mysterious. 1st house Pluto individuals can also feel the need to create “influence” . I believe this is because the Higher Octave planets refer to the collective and “bigger causes” which can influence the tone of a generation, so this is how it comes across to me regarding Pluto.
Mars also feels much more self centred in the 1st house than Pluto does, again because Pluto is connected to the collective unconscious. You go beyond the self, realising the interconnectedness nature of things.
Pluto can be self centred in the 1st house with a much more humanitarian cause or to use their power to influence a large group of people. Mars 1st house use their power as fuel to just get things done, I’ve noticed. And Mars 1st house can have much more physical drive and energy too,
10th house sun always always always succeeds in their career
Virgo Risings may be quite tall, have lighter eyes and hair natural model look
Taurus influence on appearance can make someone quite shapely
Venus 11th house just loveeeee to socialise
Neptune 7th house are always looking for their soulmate
Cancer 2nd house may really succeed or be able to work from home.
I think everyone with strong Scorpio placements would benefit from having someone to talk to once a month in a therapeutic setting. Just anything to help you detoxify actually. Money well spent because your health depends you on eliminating what no longer serves you.
Self promo:
If you’re a beginner in astrology or know someone who wants to get into it I’ve made a beginner series on the houses on my YT channel.
They’re in short format and very digestible and easy to understand and it’s great for anyone who wants to have a rough idea.
I have created a playlist with them :))
Consider sharing it and checking it out if that sounds like something you or someone you may know may need.
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wlntrsldler · 6 months
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If the boys played “never have I ever” in an interview, what would be revealed to the public?
I SPRINTED TO MY COMPUTER
here's the transcript of poisoned mercury's buzzfeed interview where they played never have i ever as part of their press tour to promote their new album:
interviewer: thank you guys for coming!
luke *smiling while he fixes his mic*: thanks for having us :) we were just talking about how we used to do buzzfeed quizzes when we were younger.
travis: there were many days where we'd be in luke's house back in connecticut and completely forget that we were supposed to be rehearsing because we got caught up trying to figure out which inside out emotion we were.
interviewer: well, i'm glad to hear it because today we're gonna play a game of 'never have i ever.'
chris: unrelated but i fucking love that show. team paxton for life.
luke: dude no. ben is clearly the right choice.
connor: ok mr. enemies to lovers, of course you'd say that.
luke: shut up???!
travis: i think if we took the inside out quiz again right now, i'd get disgust because that's how i feel being in a band with two idiots who are so in love with their girlfriends.
connor: swear to god if i hear another "no you hang up first," from either one of you *looks at chris and luke* i'm blowing my brains out.
interviewer looks around the room, trying to ask the producers what she should do. the video editors are already stressing because they know they have to bleep out a lot of the words the boys are using.
interviewer: .... so let's start with the first question. never have i ever gone skinny dipping.
chris: fuck, how did you get all of us on the first question?
connor: yeah we've gone skinny dipping a few times, but the most recent was last summer. mama c-- shoutout mama c, we love you!
luke: yeah, we love you mama!
connor: she put all of us on timeout and we spent the entire summer at a music camp and on our last night, we all went skinny dipping at the lake with our roommates.
luke: oh shit, i forgot about that. those were good times. *looks at chris* i miss camp bro.
chris: me too.
travis *stares deadpan into the camera*: do you see what we have to deal with?
interviewer: never have i ever had a crush on a friend's sibling.
travis: guilty.
chris *turns his head so fast*: given that you're related to connor and luke is an only child, you better be talking about a non-band friend.
travis *shrugging*: your older sister is hot, rodriguez.
chris: stay away from my sister.
luke *looks at the interviewer with wide eyes*: next question or you'll have a video to submit to worldstar.
interviewer: oh! uh, okay-- never have i ever accidentally posted something to my main account instead of my private or close friends one.
connor *cracking up*: castellan, wanna take this one?
luke *blushing*: this feels like a targeted question because we know the infamous video of me with the handsome squidward filter on (the hozier incident) that was supposed to go on my close friends story! i was so embarrassed. to be clear, i was JOKING. i don't actually flirt like that.
travis: i've seen you flirt with y/n, and you in the squidward video had more game than you normally do.
luke *teasing because he knows travis does not want a relationship*: and yet who's single between the two of us?
connor: oh he got you there.
travis: y/n, if you're watching this, you deserve better. he's a loser. i have better friends i can set you up with.
luke: five star, if you're watching this, you're stuck with me. there's no going back.
interviewer: never have i ever had a song written about me.
chris: this is a great pivot to promote our sophomore album's lead single, "kiss her you fool!" we wrote this song about our front man, luke, here. our second album "optimism don't come easy (unless it's with you)" is out now.
interviewer: i love that shameless self-promo.
connor: i think we as a band can benefit from having some shame, but thank you.
chris *turns to luke*: this will also come as a shock to you, but there's another song out in the world that's kinda about you.
luke: huh? which one?
travis: quinnie, remember her? she was in cabin 7. she wrote the bulk of it, but y/n actually gave her the idea. chris and connor helped her with instrumentals and the song is sick.
connor: it was amazing. quinnie is so talented. if you guys haven't heard her music, i highly, highly recommend it. the song we're talking about is called touch tank. you guys should check it out.
chris: agreed. she's also just a fucking cool person. she's one of our closest friends in the industry.
travis *making a heart with his hands*: we love you, quinnie!
interviewer: okay, final question since we're running out of time. never have i ever gone on a world tour for my band's second album.
luke *laughs*: i see what you did there. that was good.
connor: we are soooooo excited to announce that we're going back on tour! this summer, we'll be seeing all your beautiful faces again. tickets go on sale this friday! we hope to see you there!
luke: check out our band's twitter for more information on how to get tickets and to see if we'll be coming to a city near you.
chris: we miss seeing you guys!
travis: see you guys so soon! we love you!
interviewer: that's all the time we have for today. thank you guys so much. it was a pleasure!
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astradyke · 2 months
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okay yeah let's get freaky with it (not an acceptable way to start a post whatsoever) i cannot stop THINKING about this fucking We're All Doomed cap. like just in the last TWO days...
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[ID: photo one is of Phil Lester in the hospital, wearing the We're All Doomed cap. photo two is of Phil Lester in a pool, in which the We're All Doomed hat is laying on the edge of the pool. end ID.]
and then not to mention all the latest videos...
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[id: photo of Phil wearing the We're All Doomed hat]
(there are definitely more but i'm multitasking so i can't sleuth out the videos rn)
like, when i am trying to describe Dan and Phil as a phenomena to my friends i always mention the fact that Phil is like THE consistent hype person for Dan (vise-versa but focusing on Phil here). "Dan is leaving me" is obviously an insane video about their relationship but also spends a substantial time promoting We're All Doomed; "I TRY TO GIVE DAN A HAIRCUT!!" is basically just YWGTTN promo. What Dan and Phil Text Each Other 2 (iirc) Phil encourages Dan to talk vaguely about upcoming stuff, etc. like Phil is ALWAYS so crazy supportive of what Dan does
from the mukbang "I wanted you to be happy [...] you did loads of shit on your own" (quoting from memory)
but something about the We're All Doomed hat feels DIFFERENT to me fundamentally because it's just... such a casual thing? they're no stranger to using their old merch, or wearing merch in videos after its release, but Phil literally cannot be separated from this hat as a guy who never seemed to be that crazy about hats to begin with. but it's just such a casual presence in his life, like a must-have object, it goes with him everywhere from Türkiye to the A&E, just this constant support for Dan's solo work.
when Dan says in Basically I'm Gay: "And for someone who has dealt with the same kind of self hatred I have, one person accepting you makes all the difference." (quoting from memory again),
it's like. there is such a love confession in the sheer act of seeing someone's creative work, something they poured their life and soul and savings into, and holding THAT in your palms -- and loving it. Phil was part of the WAD pre and post show, Phil was listed in the credits, even in Why I Left YouTube Phil's presence is there in the fact that he was patient as Dan tried to pursue Dan Is Not Okay, even at the potential risk of them postponing moving. don't even talk to me about how Phil was involved in Dystopia Daily, not only as a guest but also working on the set too.
holding something that has as much meaning as We're All Doomed does to its creator and not only loving it in the moment, not only relentlessly promoting it, not only being part of the premiere, but also continuously wearing its merch -- it's such an embrace from Phil of not only Dan as a person, but who Dan is creatively, and the ways he expresses himself.
and considering all the thematics of We're All Doomed, the hope and the new era and the self acceptance... yeah. fucking YEAH.
we talk a lot about different kinds of love and all the different ways they love each other, and i think this has always been the loudest and what i've personally been most affected by. the way that Phil Lester became a safe and accepting place for Dan Howell back when he was eighteen, and how he never fucking stopped being that place for him since.
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aetherdoesthings · 3 months
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hanahaki!reader x arlecchino
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forethoughts: omg aether finally uploads?!?!? apologies for the long break; i was getting my life together, because there's a lot going on in my life right now all at once. nevertheless, this was inspired by my previous work of hanahaki!reader x nico robin, but with arlecchino because of @edgeray's idea! thanks buddy, couldn't have revived my blog without you. also i'm sorry if there are grammatical mistakes or errors, i wrote this at 2am at a sudden burst of inspiration and motivation.
notes: modern setting, y/n and arlecchino are famous actresses, fem!reader, gentle!arlecchino, hanahaki au
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“And how long will filming take?” You sighed, biting down on a hateful tone as you looked at your assistant.
“Roughly a year, Ms. Y/N.” Your assistant replied, clicking a few buttons on her tablet.
“How much is Furina offering to have me star in it with her?”
“$10,000,000 Mora, Ms. Y/N.”
You chewed on your bottom lip, despite your makeup artist’s ‘friendly reminder’. That amount could be worth the turmoil and agony to have to be in a constant space with… her.
“Arlecchino has already signed on board to the project. Ms. Furina is waiting to hear from you.” Your assistant looks up at you. “Surely you would not pass up a deal like that just because she is in it?”
“Shut it, Navia.” You scowl.
Navia laughs. “I jest, Ms. Y/N. What about Arlecchino do you dislike anyways? I heard she is kind and respectful.”
“Yeah, like that gives you a golden star.” You rolled your eyes, finishing your glass of wine. It wasn’t that you disliked or loathed the actress. You respected her upbringing and career and found honor in being in the same tier as her. But something about her rubbed you the wrong way. Every time you watched one of her press interviews or promo videos, your stomach would feel ill, hollowing itself out and making your legs kick in the air like a kid on Christmas. Simply sickening and rotten. And now you were to do an entire movie with her. 
“Hmn, fine. I’ll take it.” You sighed, leaning back on your couch. All for the Mora. All of the Mora. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s just one year. You survived with lousy and inadequate ‘colleagues’. Certainly you’d be able to survive the bane of your existence.
“Y/N. I’ve heard so much about you. It is a pleasure to finally meet and talk to you in person.” A familiar voice you only heard from behind the screen was now playing behind you. You turned your body, a curt smile on your face as you faced the disgustingly tall and surprisingly built woman (that looked so much bigger than what you saw on a screen), a dumb, cute and sweet grin plastered on her face. You acquiesced her offer, shaking her hand.
“And I share the same sentiment as you do, Arlecchino.” You smiled as politely as you could muster, suppressing your inner self and pummeling it for the sake of face. “I look…forward to working with you.”
Arlecchino’s lips turned into a thin line, her crimson eyes boring into yours, as if peering into your body to find that soul she tortured with just her appearance. You kept your smile, withdrawing your hand. “How was your flight here?”
Shock and surprise pierced that air tight smile of yours, allowing it to falter for a second. “I beg your pardon?”
“How was your flight?” Arlecchino repeated her question, an amused smile on her stupidly perfect and gorgeous face.
“It was… good.” You stammered, folding your arms.
Arlecchino chuckled. “Vague but straight to the point.”
“I prefer things to be like that.”
Arlecchino grinned, placing a hand on your shoulder. You had to bite back a shriek or gasp, nails digging into your palm as you tried to remain a smile. “Let us go to rehearsal, hmn? I’m certain Furina is eagerly waiting for us.”
A blockade started to emerge in your throat, your nails drawing blood as you nodded your head. “Sure, yeah, yeah. You go on ahead. I need to do something real quick.” You said, hoping Arlecchino would buy it.
“Alright then.” And she did, that lovely gullible soul. The minute Arlecchino walked out of earshot, a violent cough erupted from your throat, causing you to double over until it subsided. Looking down, you noticed a lone cherry blossom petal right by your feet. You massaged your throat, hoping to alleviate the sudden pain. Had that petal been there all along? But you were standing on open land without a tree in sight. Furina’s movie synopsis did not mention any cherry blossom trees. Surely, you couldn't have coughed up a petal. No, you did not cough up a petal. That stuff was out of the movies, not in reality. Your mind recalled back to an old movie you shot once, about the protagonist suffering from something called hanahaki disease, where the victim would cough up petals because of their love for someone. The protagonist was lovesick and had their eyes set on the other character, but died because the other person did not return their feelings. This wasn’t happening to you. Yes, the movie was based off of a true story, but certainly not. You were certain you were hallucinating. 
“Y/N!” You heard Arlecchino’s voice call your name from afar. 
“C-Coming!” No. You had to get yourself together. Come on, this was Arlecchino. That… elegant, beautiful, eloquent asshole who you always watched from afar but never had the chance to be with up close. But now you could. And this was how you reacted? Your stomach churned, as you swallowed anymore nonexistent petals down into your vat of acid before making your way to everyone.
Filming wasn’t too bad in the first few weeks. You and Arlecchino were to play star crossed lovers, and all that was scheduled was basic exposition. No petals came up, which supported your case that you were just hallucinating and definitely not a fictional disease. Until it came to the more intimate scenes.
“Alright, and action!” Furina exclaimed. Arlecchino’s character was pinning you to the wall, her finger on your chin.
“Did you really think you could hide it from me?” Arlecchino’s character sneered, her eyes boring into yours, her lips getting dangerously close.
“I-” You ducked your head in time to not cough into Arlecchino’s face, bringing a hand over your mouth as you coughed loudly, the air escaping your body as you wheezed. 
“Cut! Everyone, take ten!” Furina yelled, and the crew murmured and resetted everything because of your sudden cough.
“Are you alright?” Arlecchino placed a hand on your shoulder, rubbing small circles in an effort to comfort you, her voice soft and gentle. A complete contrast of her character she portrayed. That did not comfort you at all, rather stir up a bubbling feeling in your lower parts, warmth rushing to your face.
You balled your fist, nodding your head as you forced yourself to meet Arlecchino’s eyes. 
“I…” You stammered, words suddenly disappearing from your brain, as if Arlecchino was sucking it out with that crimson glow, radiating with warmth and concern, the grin on her face dissipating the moment she saw your soul momentarily leave your body.
“I-I’m alright. I-I’m so sorry.” You regurgitated. “I don’t know what came over me.”
“That’s alright. Do you need some water?” 
“That’ll… That’ll be good.”
Arlecchino nodded her head, patting your shoulder as she asked a staff member to grab you some water. “I’ll go talk to Furina for you. You just rest and recover, got it? I don’t want my acting partner to be ill.”
Oh, your acting partner already is ill. A voice inside of you replied back. 
“Right, yeah. Thank you so much, Arlecchino.” You exclaimed, smiling back.
"Always, Y/N." Arlecchino walked away, waving her hand. "Get well soon."
The crew was busy packing everything up and preparing everything for tomorrow. Arlecchino was talking to Furina, most likely going over tomorrow’s shoot and your cough. As everyone around you was moving and busy, you were escorted away into a car, which drove you back to the makeup trailer. Alone in the backseat, you opened your fist, staring at the item in the dead center of your palm.
A goddamn cherry blossom petal.
No. This can’t be happening. What the heck is happening?! You forced yourself to breathe, staring at the curled petal. Why was this happening? All you did was be in close proximity with that damn Arlecchino, which made your heart flutter and start to drum, your stomach churn and mind go fuzzy, legs limp and-
No.
No.
You did not have a crush on Arlecchino.
You could not have a crush on Arlecchino.
You were colleagues. Workers. She was the winner of multiple awards, she was the one who the paparazzi could never get a picture of, she was everything and you… you were…nothing. Nothing compared to what Arlecchino had done. 
Yet you were here, forced to work together with her and even have to do intimate scenes with-
God strike me here and now. Or make me go into a fatal accident. You silently prayed to anyone who was listening. 
Arlecchino would not be the reason you coughed and hacked up flower petals.
You refused to believe those soft crimson glow in her eyes she always had with you, those thin lips that always curled into a smile when you walked in the room, and those fingers that found a way to your shoulder, or cheek, or your waist would be the reason why you were coughing up petals, just like-
Hanahaki. The word taunted you. No. That couldn’t be. 
You refused to believe you had fallen in love with Arlecchino, let alone die because of it. No. As long as you could breathe, you would not let yourself be a victim of love that you will never receive and have. 
Arlecchino was going to be the reason the newspaper headline would read ‘Y/N FOUND DEAD IN HER BEDROOM FROM HANAHAKI DISEASE’ and lead numerous people to speculate who your Romeo was. 
But in that ill state you were, a tiny part of you was at ease with that scenario.
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thesunfyre4446 · 2 months
Note
Rhaenys reaction to Corlys infidelity is so disappointing. This wasn’t Corlys sleeping with some whore, barmaid or camp follower once. Corlys had an actual bond and prolonged relationship with this woman. He made a baby with her and then did it again. He was playing house with her and the babies for a time.
Rhaenys is now childless, she lost her 2 children- really because of Corlys ambitions. Then she sees that Corlys has 2 more children? She should’ve raged.
Rhaenys is way more passive than she and team black accuse Alicent of being. In the end there’s nothing a woman can do about her husband’s infidelity and bastards in their society like divorce. They have rights over your body, you can’t withhold sex. The only thing she is allowed is to show her displeasure and anger about the situation and fans are applauding Rhaenys for not embracing that tiny bit of resistance??
The writers fail every time they refuse to let team black have any inner conflict when they have just as many issues as the greens. Everything is solved by good faith and some self righteous speech.
Everything must be neatly packaged with a bow on top by the end of the episode, while they have TG carrying generational trauma and several ongoing plot.
I suppose Jace’s issue with Rhaenyra is solved because she told him that irrelevant ass bedtime story that will soon be lost to history. He’s now a grown man and his mother has never had an honest discussion about his father’s. There is no anger or resentment towards her for the situation she put him and his brothers in. Team Black collectively blame Alicent more for not pretending to be blind than they do Rhaenyra for making an immensely dangerous decision 3 times, 1 time was after an 8 year age gap.
Rhaena now fully accepts her claim to Driftmark died with the pretender Luke. She’s now reconsidered her original feelings about becoming a nursemaid to Rhaenyra and her father’s children (because Rhaena is never treated like family, Rhaenyra never appeals to her by calling them her brothers. Poor Rhaena has had to live the last 6 years of her life as an outsider looking in on her “family”) because Rhaenyra gave her a task to make her more pliant and agreeable like you do with little kids when you hand them a shopping list because you want them to behave and stay out of the way.
Daemyra isn’t even over, he is still tb’s tortured misunderstood devoted malewife “babygirl”. Eventually Daemyra will reunite and talk about twin flames, burning together, a dragon alone in the world or some fake deep shit like that. Rhaenyra is going to accept him back into her heart. He’ll be magically cured of his jealousy and tendency towards domestic violence because Alys sent him some dreams at Harrenhal. While on the other side you have Alicole taking the blame from the writers and the fandom for the murder of their grandchild that Babygirl- Daemon had committed, entrenched in Catholic guilt, fucking and fighting and having secret abortions.
This is why watching team black scenes is like watching white paint drip down a wall. When a team black scene comes on, I can look away from the screen, have a conversation, go online shopping, zone out a little and answer texts or scroll the socials.
They’re dreadfully boring. I saw something yesterday that I never thought I would see from team righteous. The comment section of a promo video HBO posted on IG, a lot of people who said they are team black admitting to finding team green characters more interesting because they have flaws. Saying that they enjoy team green scenes more because the blacks are boring.
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literally why i'm team green. anon ATE and left no crumbs. that was amazing please let's be mutuals
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jaegeraether · 8 months
Text
Sunsets and footballers (Part 64)
Lucy Bronze x Reader (54) / Alexia Putellas x Character (23)
Masterlist (other parts here)
Join our WOSO Discord chat! Link in bio :)
((**4.5k**))
Ridley POV
“She’s handled this very, very well.” Ridley murmured to Lucy.
Lucy nodded, looking so fatigued it was almost comical. “She and Joe were up all night doing crisis management.”
“You as well it seems?”
“She made me get some sleep for the game. I think I managed a few hours.”
They’d just arrived and were standing in the kitchen area, watching Blue on the phone again, giving another interview. She’d released a video stating that JK Rowling was in no way involved with the company, and the way she said it was impressive to Ridley because it was almost toying with Mark. Anyone who watched would have absolutely believed her when she almost mockingly denied the rumours with a virtually stress-free and amused demeanour. On top of that, her boss had somehow managed to get JK Rowling to post a video statement saying she was not involved, and that a year ago she remembered having accepted and agreed to the request that this new company also be allowed to be named Lumos. Mark was officially looking like a twat. But even more interestingly, it made Ridley wonder who this obviously rich and influential ‘Joe’ actually was.
Ridley watched Blue proudly as she expertly navigated her way through the drama. She’d always been great with people.
“I figured since you look like someone fed you after midnight.”
Lucy scoffed, her eyes moving from Blue to the food the pair had brought over, and back. She couldn’t help but shake her head and smirk at the sound of Lucy’s stomach grumbling. Blue must have heard too because she looked over and gestured for her to start eating without her. Lucy shook her head and crossed her arms. It appeared Lucy had her priorities straight which satisfied Ridley.
She looked down at Chiquito who was being vetted thoroughly by Narla, and her heart string tugged watching him sit patiently waiting, his tail curled around his body and resting atop his paws. He slow blinked at her a few times before his attention turned behind Ridley, and that’s when she realised that Alexia had been far, far too quiet during the whole exchange which alerted Ridley to her intentions. She heard Alexia before she saw her and as she went to attack, Ridley spun and ducked, her arm going around her neck in a chokehold. She pressed her body up against her back, enjoying the feel of her ass against her core and murmured in her ear. “Nice try, la Reina, but you’re too predictable.”
Alexia fought against her until she let her go and turned with a frustrated expression that Ridley enjoyed far too much. She’d been teaching her self-defence all morning and Alexia now seemed to have a new hobby of trying to catch her off guard. It hadn’t been successful thus far, though Ridley had been enjoying this new, playful side to her. “How?!”
“You were too quiet. And then too loud right before you went for it. And then then there was Chiquito.” She reached out and patted her cheek. “We’ll get you there, kid.”
Alexia smacked her hand away and Ridley couldn’t help but smirk. She loved how independent she was. The pair had also gotten a lot closer recently as they were enjoying building their friendship amongst the feelings. The strength it had taken Ridley thus far to not act on her almost-paralysing attraction to her had been the farthest she’d ever tested her discipline.
“Hey Riddles.”
Ridley looked over at her Blue who was now off the phone and smiling at her. She walked over and leapt over the couch, ducking to kiss her cheek.
“Hey baby Blue. You look happy.”
“All he’s done is give us a whole lot of promotion. And with JK’s statement… this is just great. I’m hoping to put out the promo today for Alexia’s interview to ride that popularity wave.”
“Great idea.”
That was another one of the reasons they were there. Alexia was going to review the interview and say if she was happy for it to be published.
“I’ll show you over lunch Alexia, just to make sure you’re happy with it and we can make any changes you want.” She smiled at the Spaniard as Lucy reached over the back of the couch to give her girlfriend some love.
“Thank you.” Alexia replied as she sat on the couch near Blue. Hearing her speak in English always did something to Ridley.
“Luce, you should have started eating, your stomach is so loud that it almost interrupted the interview,” Blue laughed as she held her head close to her cheek with her good arm.
“I wanted to wait for you,” Lucy murmured in response with a kiss on the cheek.
They both looked tired – Blue more so of course, and so Alexia and Ridley had thought it would be a good idea to bring lunch over before the girls went to the game. However as she watched them, Ridley grew suspicious and her eyebrows frowned.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“You two.”
They both looked amusedly confused.
“You two have been having sex. And now that I think about it, it even smells like sex in here. The fuck are you doing, Bronze?”
The pair looked sheepishly guilty.
“What are you, a sex sniffer dog?”
“Please tell me it was just once.”
Their expressions didn’t change.
“She’s a fucking walking bruise!”
“To be fair… my bruises are healing really well now…”
“You know what I mean. You have more breaks than a Kit-Kat Blue - you need to be careful.”
“We are. Very careful, aren’t we?” She turned her head slightly to look at Lucy. “And very creative.”
“Argh.” Ridley reacted disgustedly before tilting her head as she looked over Blue’s bandaged body. “Actually, the logistics would be fun…”
“Right?!” Lucy agreed.
Ridley scoured. “I’m still disappointed in you two.”
Blue shrugged and winced hard at her collarbone, Ridley’s stomach dropping as she did so. “As long as we’re happy. And to defend Lucy, it took a lot of convincing to-”
“Please don’t finish that sentence.”
Blue grinned and Ridley couldn’t help but smirk in response. She was happy. So, so happy and Ridley loved that. And the way Lucy looked at her… like she was her entire world.
Ridley looked over to Alexia who now held Chiquito in her lap, studying the pair and must have had the same thought as her eyes met Ridley’s.
Ridley had never wanted somebody so bad in her life. God, she was beautiful. She’d fallen asleep on her shoulder last night, her body twitching until she was fast asleep and breathing deep, sleepy breaths. The footballer had naturally cuddled her body to her own and it made her feel… a lot. And something she wasn’t ready to name just yet. Ridley had spent a good amount of time just studying her as she slept and eventually, she’d let herself fall asleep with her head on her own.
Ridley hadn’t slept that well in a long time. She was grateful that Alexia had used that favour because she couldn’t even admit to herself how much she’d wanted to stay. And then there had been the morning. Ridley had waited for her to wake, slowly twitching and coming back to life. She’d been apologetic for falling asleep on her, yet they both knew she didn’t mean it, and that Ridley hadn’t minded. It had changed something in her, just knowing that she was there next to her and safe, happy and comfortable. It took away that feeling of almost stress that she experienced as she lay in her hotel room staring at the ceiling and wondering if Alexia were feeling those things.
They’d spent the morning working out as it was an important part of their lives, and then another hour or so on the gym mat practicing self-defence. It had only been the basics, but the both of them had enjoyed being so close to each other, their sweaty bodies moving against one another as they’d tussled on the mat. There were multiple time when they’d moved or ground not because they had to, but because they had an excuse to feel each other like that. There was only one point where Alexia had almost gotten the upper hand, and that was because she’d distracted Ridley with a look of lust she failed to hide.
Lucy’s stomach interrupted her thoughts.
She looked over at Blue chuckling and reaching back to stroke Lucy’s belly. “Thanks for bringing lunch, guys. What did you end up bringing?”
“Sushi.”
“Ohh I’ve been craving that!”
“You’ve been craving everything, Luce.”
Lucy came around the couch to pick up Blue and move her to the kitchen table. “Ale, I’ll set you up with my laptop so you can watch now if you want?”
She watched a happy smile form on Alexia’s face at the shortening of her name. Her stomach felt strange in a good way. Blue was the most important thing to her and Alexia getting along with her was very, very important to her. So much so she didn’t even realise herself.
Alexia and Ridley set up the sushi they’d bought on the table, their fingers brushing and bodies seemingly wanting to be near each other. It was something she wasn’t used to, and she liked it. A lot.
Alexia sat at the laptop Blue had set up for her and put on her headphones, watching the interview while she ate her lunch.
“Will Chiquito eat this?” Lucy asked from the kitchen, holding up a can of Narla’s food.
“He’ll eat anything, but he prefers a specific brand. I brought him some, it’s in the bag there.”
Lucy nodded and laid the food out for the pets. “Don’t worry, Narla won’t steal his food.”
“I’m not,” she laughed. “He’d never let her.”
“Sit here Riddles…” Blue said, pointing to the chair next to her. She’d wanted to sit next to Alexia but she was at the other end of the table. She was about to question it when she saw the iPad set up in front of them.
“Sit.”
Ridley raised an eyebrow and sat, Lucy sitting on the other side of her and already choking down sushi. Blue fiddled around with the iPad and suddenly the trio were staring at her nan and brother. Now it made sense.
“Hey nan! Hey bro! I have Luce and Riddles here.”
“Hello, it’s so good to see you all!”
“Put the camera down nan, we just see your forehead,” Ben laughed.
“Oh… is that better?”
“Yes.” They all said in unison.
“Hey Riddle-me-this, it’s been a while,” Ben grinned. He looked and sounded much older and than when she’d spoken to him last.
“Hey mate, up to trouble lately?”
“Only what you taught me.”
“Oh Ridley you look so good, lovey. It’s so good to see you.” Nan said. She didn’t realise how much she missed them.
“It’s really good to see you both too.” She said with emotion. It was a great surprise.
“We just want to hear from you. Don’t be a stranger, okay?”
“Yes, nan.”
She looked over the iPad and caught Alexia’s eye. It looked like she’d paused the video and was listening to them. She didn’t look surprised which meant Blue had told her about their video call, and her eyes held sympathy and curiosity. She gave her a reassuring smile before pressing play on her video again.
“Christ, sis, you look shit. Are those bruises?”
She nodded. They could only see the upper half of their bodies so it was just the sling and bruising, but she knew she would have told them both the full story. She was always honest with them. “Yes, but it’s almost gone. I should be able to put weight on my knee soon.” She turned to Lucy with that look Ridley had seen multiple times. “Luce has been taking really good care of me.”
“Oh Lucy you’re looking so good!” Nan praised. Lucy smiled and gulped down a piece of sushi.
“Thanks nan, you’re looking well. Hey Ben, whereabouts are you at the minute?”
“Kyoto living my best life.”
“Oh yeah, I’ve been there, it’s a whole other world. I loved it.”
“When did you go?”
“Uh 2021 Tokyo Olympics. We travelled around and explored while we were there. Have you learnt any of the language?”
“Yeah… I’m getting there. It’s hard but I can have conversations.”
“That’s a big achievement to be able to do that, though. Well done, just keep practicing yeah? Even if you leave, keep on top of it.”
“For sure I will, I have a lot of friends here now.”
“Good! It’s hard to make friends overseas, especially when you speak different languages so that’s amazing.”
“Thanks Lucy.”
Ridley didn’t miss Blue’s proud smile.
“Do you remember when you two said you’d be excited to come over for a game one time? Well YFN and I have been talking and we were hoping you’d come over for Christmas? All expenses paid, of course. We have accommodation here and I’ll pay for the flights-”
“-flights will be free.” Ridley interjected.
“And Ridley and I will argue over who’s paying for flights.” Lucy continued. Blue chuckled between them.
“Really?!” Ben sounded excited.
“Are you sure it’s not too much trouble?” Nan asked.
“All expenses paid.” Blue promised. “Riddles will be here, you’ll get to meet Luce, her family are excited to meet you two as well. It’ll be a happy little white Christmas like you’ve never had, nan.”
“I’m in. Come on nan, we need to go!”
“I’m getting old…”
Ridley jumped in. “It’s first class, nan, so you’ll have a bed on the plane. It’s like a hotel. You’ll board first and I’ll have people with you the entire way. I can come to pick you up, if you’d like?”
“No, no.. it’ll be fine, Ben can help me. You’ve already done so much for us.” She adjusted her glasses and squinted at the camera. “You’re looking so well, lovey. We really miss seeing you.”
“I miss you too nan. I’ll be here for Christmas, yeah?”
“Off to England it is, then!”
Lucy clapped, excited. “I’ll let my family know.”
“Do you have a game we can come see you play at, Lucy?” Ben asked, genuinely admiring her.
“Lionesses have their last games of the year next week, so not for England, but I have some late December matches with Barcelona if you don’t mind a little trip over to Spain.”
“Ohh YFN said the food is great.”
“The food is the best part.”
“And Barcelona are iconic. I can’t wait to see la Reina up close.”
Ridley looked over to Alexia to see if she’d heard it. She was zoned out looking at Ridley, blinking out of it when she was caught.
“Well today’s your lucky day.” Blue laughed.
Ridley caught Alexia’s eyes and gestured with her head towards them. She took her headphones off and came to stand behind and join them, her hands on the back of Ridley and Blue’s seats respectively. When Ridley looked back at the screen, Ben was bright red and staring like he didn’t believe it.
“Uh… hello…” Alexia greeted, not knowing why she was there.
“Th… that… that’s…”
“Is that the one you have a crush on?” Nan asked.
Lucy and Blue laughed. “No nan, I said she’s hot.”
“You said it a lot of times,” she responded, not realising how embarrassed he was.
“You do realise she can hear you, right?” Ridley said. “Nan, Ben, this is Alexia Putellas. Nan, she’s the Captain of both Barcelona and Spain, and she’s known as the greatest female footballer to ever play.”
“I’m right here.” Lucy responded with a mouthful.
“Don’t worry Luce, you’re still my number one.”
Lucy grinned. “I’m getting old.”
“Stop that.” She admonished and gave her a light slap.
“Hello nan, Ben. It’s nice to be meeting you.”
“Are you coming for Christmas Alexia?”
“Nan, she has her own family!”
“Well they’re friends so I don’t know.”
“Uh, normally I have Christmas in Barcelona with my family,” Alexia said slowly in broken English.
“Yeah I thought so, sorry, I think nan’s excited about Christmas.”
“Nan are you trying to hook Ben up?”
“Well it doesn’t hurt to try does it?”
Alexia laughed behind them – one of Ridley’s favourite sounds.
“What about Riddle-me-that? She’s older than me.”
“Oh yes, Ridley are you bringing someone to Christmas?”
Lucy choked, Blue laughed into Lucy’s shoulder and Alexia smothered an amused sound behind her.
“Still single.”
“Oh that’s a shame.”
“Why’s it a shame, we’re living our best single lives.” Ben said.
“Well it’s nice to have someone…”
“Ridley and I aren’t like that nan.”
“Oh rubbish, everyone’s like that. You’ll find a good one sooner or later Ridley.”
Ridley sighed. If only they knew the woman she wanted was right behind her. “Thanks nan.”
The rest of the conversation was catching up and organising Christmas. Ridley lifted Chiquito to introduce him to them while Alexia excused herself to watch the rest of the interview. Ridley worried how much she was watching though as she felt her eyes drift to her often. She didn’t blame her, Ridley herself was tempted to look at her but managed to keep her focus on the people she considered family.
“Aren’t you supposed to be working?” Alexia asked from behind her.
God that voice. Ridley always needed to build up something inside her before she looked at her. She turned and smiled, holding up her phone. “No surprise attack?”
“It looked like a serious phone call.”
Ridley hummed. “I’ve pushed back a few meetings until tomorrow.”
“And they agreed?”
“That’s the great thing about being the boss.”
Alexia nodded and took a step forward onto the grass. “Did you do it to spend time with Blau?”
She knew her so well. “Yes, just a few hours. She needs her sleep.” She looked inside to where Blue was giving Lucy a kiss goodbye.
“You’re leaving now?”
“Yes…”
“Ah, come to say goodbye did you?”
“I wanted to know where you’d be staying tonight...”
Ridley let a moment of silence hang in the air. God knows where she wanted to be. “My later meetings are in the hotel.”
She wasn’t lying. Most would be in the hotel… on a video call. One actual face to face in the conference room.
She nodded like she knew that would be the answer. “Will I see you tomorrow?”
The wind blew a strand of her hair loose. That beautiful hair. Ridley was obsessed with it. She stepped close and tucked it back where it belonged, unable to not meet Alexia’s big hazel eyes staring up at her. She knew she shouldn’t go over there, it was too risky. But how could she say no to that face?
“Well I do need to make sure you’re properly trained to protect yourself.”
Her smile softened her face and she looked down, nodding. Ridley’s reaction was immediate. Again, something she shouldn’t do. Her fingertips found the spot just below her chin and lifted her head. “Shall we say nine o’clock?”
“I’ll cook breakfast,” she breathed.
The temptation to kiss her was overwhelming. Ridley’s eyes wandered to her pink lips and she needed to step away from her to not lose herself.
“I’ll see you then. Don’t forget to pick up Chiquito after the game.”
“I’d never forget him.”
Ridley stared at the photos Alexia and Lucy had posted and her insides did that thing she wasn’t used to. ‘Feeling’ she knew Blue would say if she told her. Feeling. Never before had she studied someone so closely. She zoomed in on her face, that smile in the stands with Lucy, her beanie on because she was cold and used to the Spanish weather. Her happy hazel eyes and slightly upturned pink lips. Ridley had dreamed about those far, far too often. She should have gone with them. What if she needed another jacket?
Ridley forced her phone down and looked at Blue responding to another message. She was about five minutes from falling asleep.
“Lucy being needy?”
Blue chuckled. “Always, but I love that. No, it’s Leah worried about tonight.”
“Oh?”
“She was at the Arsenal game with Luce and Ale but now she’s on her way to surprise Jordan at her game in Birmingham.”
“Oof. Two hour drive. Very cute, though. Your idea?”
“Maybe…”
Ridley rolled her eyes. “It has you written all over it, Blue.”
She put her phone down. Narla was on one side of her, curled up and Chiquito was exploring the house, ever the curious cat.
“Come here.” She said, patting the couch to the right of her.
Ridley could have said something funny, but she didn’t. Blue’s expression was too serious for that.
“What can I do for you, madam?” She asked, sliding next to her.
“It’s what you can do for yourself…”
“Ah, of course. You just can’t stop worrying about everyone else, can you?”
“Riddles-”
“You know. Better than anyone else. You know what I’ve done.”
“And yet I’m still here.”
“She deserves better-”
It was Blue’s turn to interrupt. “Better than someone who will her protect her with every fibre of her being? Someone who will always do what’s best for her and not themselves?”
“This is what’s best for her.”
“Don’t take away her choices, Riddles.”
Ridley sighed. “You seem worried.”
“I’m worried you’re going to make the mistake of pushing away the best person in your life.”
“You’re the best person in my life.”
“Riddles, it’s different, you know that. I just… I don’t want you to make a mistake of hurting her to push her away…”
“Oh come on, it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve slept around to give someone a hint.” It was harsh, but Ridley needed to be to avoid her own emotions.
“You’d never with her. And the difference is that you never liked the people you were pushing away.”
“I liked some.”
“Only for sex. And not like this.”
Ridley sighed. “And how, pray tell, do you know there is something more to my ‘liking’ of Alexia.”
“Because you’re my best friend, and I see the way you look at her.”
“Mmn. I do wonder what advice you’ve given her about this whole situation, though.” Ridley watched her intelligent eyes pondering that she’d been caught. Of course Ridley knew she’d give advice to Alexia, because she was always trying to help without being too pushy. To be her benefit, she didn’t look stressed or surprised at all.
“And why would I ever speak to you about personal things I talk to Alexia about?”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because you’re my best friend.” Ridley teased, repeating her.
She rolled her eyes and gave that dimply smile, shaking her head.
“What?”
“I know you were mocking me, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that before.”
Ridley tilted her head. Had she not? “You know what you are to me.”
“It’s nice to hear it sometimes though.” She said kindly, though Ridley knew it was a polite reminder.
She nodded and reached out to touch that scar over her eyebrow, a reminder of how cruel people could be. She’d sacrificed her own body so that she’d have no such scars and now… now she needed to trust that Lucy would protect her when she wasn’t there.
“You are my oldest friend. My best friend. Someone I would happily do anything for. I respect your opinion above all others, and I trust you with my entire being. I’m sorry I don’t say that enough.”
She cupped her cheek when she saw her getting upset, the tears forming in her eyes. She tried to nod to stop them from falling, but she was always the more openly emotional of the two. “I love you Riddles. I love that we’ve been around each other so much more recently. A… and I don’t want that to change.” She looked down and sniffed. “I know you like your space to go off and explore and be independent, and I said I was okay with it but truthfully… I love having you in my life. You’re such a big part of me. I feel like something is missing when you’re not around.”
Her words hit her hard. She was always so good at communicating. Ridley didn’t know how much of a burden it had been to be apart and not talking for months at a time. She had assumed the same thing – that she needed her own space for independence and that perhaps they reminded each other too much of their past. It wasn’t like that at all though. They wanted to be around each other. They felt supported in doing so.
Ridley moved closer and gently pulled her into her neck. “I feel the same, Blue.” She kissed her hair. “I’m sorry, I had no idea. From now on, I’ll be here as long as you want me around, okay?”
“N…not if you don’t want t-”
“Trust me, I want to.”
Ridley had always kept an eye on her from afar without her knowing. Where she was, what she was doing, who she was doing it with. That protective nature of hers was never-ending when it came to Blue. Knowing all of that had made it easier, but she’d never thought before of just how Blue had felt not knowing where she was or with who, or if she were happy. She should have reached out more.
“I love you, Blue. I’m right here.”
She felt her relax at that reassurance they both needed so badly. ‘I’m right here.’ She’d heard Lucy say it to her multiple times and knew just why she’d fallen in love with her. She supported her with that obsessive, all-encompassing love. And when Alexia had said it to her… she’d almost given herself completely to her right then and there.
Blue let out a large breath as her body calmed. “I don’t want to push you. I don’t want to tell you what’s best…” she said as she pulled back far enough to look up at Ridley with red puffy eyes. She needed sleep. “But I love you too much to let you miss out on love, Riddles. And that’s what this is. I know you haven’t admitted it to yourself yet, but she’s perfect for you. And you’re both in love with each other. She’s been here for you since you first saw each other at that bar in Barcelona…um…”
“Javier’s.” Ridley offered in a murmur.
“That’s the one.” She stroked her cheek and Ridley leant into it. “And no one deserves happiness more than you.”
“You do.”
“We both do.” Blue’s thumb stroked down that scar her dad had given her, and her eyes followed it. “Isn’t it finally time for us to both be happy?” Her tired big blue eyes met Ridley’s again. “Don’t we both deserve that?”
Silence followed as they sat like that, and by the time Ridley responded, Blue was already fast asleep.
“I suppose we do.”
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justmenoworries · 8 months
Text
some unorganized thoughts about Vox and Valentino Hazbin Hotel
Spoilers For Hazbin Hotel episode 2
TW: Discussions and depictions of abusive relationships, sexual assault, extortion and financial abuse
So going by the promo material shown to us, a lot of fans seem to think that Vivzie has changed course on VoxVal and that it's going to be a much more healthy relationship than previously implied.
Not gonna lie, that disappoints me.
Because depicting an abusive romantic relationship with an imperfect and unexpected victim would have been extremely interesting. We already know Valentino is a piece of shit who doesn't care about anything but himself and profit.
The "Addict" music video and the prequel comic "Dirty Healings" make that very clear.
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Valentino regularly assaults Angel, keeps Angel's earnings for himself and tries to keep Angel in the studio as long as possible, even getting angry when Angel goes out by himself. Even if it's to get money for Val.
And for all of his faults, it's very easy for the viewer to feel sympathy for Angel. Angel is a likable character who's been shown to have a much kinder side to him via his friendship with Cherry and him trying to comfort Charlie in the pilot after her pitch for the Happy Hotel flops.
Vox though?
Vox is slated to be a main antagonist. He's a fellow Overlord of Hell. Someone for whom it'd be much harder to believe that he'd let anyone treat him like Valentino treats Angel.
And yet...
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To be fair, this artwork is from the in-character Instagram accounts, which were already confirmed as non-canonical. (The accounts themselves are sadly archived now due to some really messed up stuff that happened with the Octavia and Stolas accounts.)
Still, depicting Vox as one of Valentino's victims would have been pretty intriguing. It shows that this kind of thing can happen to anyone, no matter the gender or financial or social situation. It would also acknowledge that just because someone is a victim of abuse doesn't mean they're pure, innocent or weak. And that no matter the circumstances, no one deserves to be treated like Valentino treats Vox and Angel.
I'm honestly hoping that this aspect of the VoxVal relationship isn't entirely gone and I kinda think it isn't.
In episode 2 we see right off the bat that Vox doesn't really like Valentino. And it's easy to see why.
Valentino is a spoiled angry manchild with no self control. He needs Velvette and Vox to reign him in, otherwise he's going to do stupid shit like waltz up to the princess of Hell's doorstep with a gun in hand. Because he can't handle the idea that one of his employees is living somewhere he didn't approve.
If Vox hadn't stopped him and talked him out of it, Val would have gotten the VVVs into some serious shit. His violent streaks can also not be talked down completely, they need to be satisfied somehow. Vox needs to offer Val the lowest earners to shoot at and work out his aggression on or Val's going to continue to go on a rampage and most likely tear apart more of Velvette's models.
Speaking frankly, Valentino seems way more trouble than he's worth. Vox and Velvette appear to be doing all the work in their shared empire while Val just throws tantrums and forces them to go out of their way to calm him down.
So if that's the case, why do the other Vs puts up with Val?
In Alastor's and Vox' duet in episode 2, Alastor has this very interesting thing to say about Vox and his relationship to Valentino and Velvette:
"Is Vox as strong as he purports? Or is it based on his support? He'd be powerless without the other Vs."
What's also interesting is Val's and Velvette's reaction to it.
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They're smiling. Like they agree.
Alastor also reveals that Vox was trying to get Alastor to join the Vs. Alastor declined.
Vox of course tries to deny all of that, but in the process gets so worked up he short-circuits himself and causes a city-wide blackout.
If Alastor is telling the truth here (and we don't really have a reason to believe he isn't), that puts everything in a whole new light.
Vox is he brains of the operation but is he also the only thing that's keeping it together? Val and Velvette don't really get along (Velvette insults Val behind his back, Val rips apart her models when he's angry) and both don't seem to respect Vox that much. Velvette lets him deal with Val's bad moods, Val doesn't hesitate to throw stuff at Vox when he's pissed (the fact that Vox nonchalantly dodges the glass Valentino throws at him implies this is not the first time). They both have a look of disdain on their faces when Vox hugs them during "Status Quo".
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So why does Vox go to all this trouble to keep these two assholes in line if he doesn't really care for them and they in turn have no love for him?
Maybe for business reasons, but Vox already has a giant multi-media empire, right? So again, what does he need the other Vs for?
I think it has to do with Vox's need to be admired and liked and at the top.
See, another thing this episode tells us about Vox is that he's deeply, deeply, insecure.
He has a dozen different programs where he changes his outfits, approach and demeanor to cater to every single sinner possible, he throws out new business ideas on the fly so he'll always be the newest trend everyone follows. If something (or someone) comes up that cracks his cool confident businessman facade even a little he can't handle it and literally breaks down.
Really, Alastor puts it best:
"Is Vox insecure? Pursuing allure? Between this fad and that, is nothing working? Every day he's got a new format."
So Vox doesn't just want to be powerful and popular, he wants to be the most powerful and the most popular and his shows alone aren't going to cut it for that.
That's why he needs Velvette and Valentino. They provide the content that draws the viewers Vox so desperately craves. Without them he'd be all on his own, might lose large chunks of his viewership. And that's something I think Vox is deeply afraid of.
So no matter how little he might actually like them, regardless how shitty Valentino treats him, Vox needs these two. In his view at least, he can't afford to lose them.
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heartofbusan · 19 days
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😭
What you’ve just written, that’s beautiful
Do you think Jimin seems slightly subdued in the scene where they mention Tokyo, and why they came back? JK’s touch more reassuring?
Seoul bros just said about their being emotionally charged moments in the next episodes and I can’t stop thinking about it.
@seoul-bros has a great read on them, can't wait to see how they interpret the final moments of their whirlwind trip.
What I see, and maybe this is what you meant with 'subdued', are the beginnings of the anxiety taking hold. The end was near by that point, assuming the promo was shot during the last day, and maybe it had started to dawn on Jimin that a door was about to close.
Now, to be fair, this is my very emotionally loaded interpretation of a short clip, yes, but this call and repeat of introspection in Jimin and of reassurance by JK was the same thing we saw during the KookJoonVMin live (why can I never get that quad name right lol) right after their second Japan trip had already ended. JK was so very touchy and a stable encouraging presence for Jimin who seemed to be very, yes, subdued. Like a man about to put his neck unto a lunette. Jimin was kinda all over the place emotionally 😔... I've observed Jimin being the kind of person who tends to smile or even laugh when he's sad or crying. It could be a way to deflect those uncomfortable feelings, laughing at this own misery. We saw it a lot during those final moments, this live, but also on enlistment day. I only saw his last live through a curtain of tears, on silent while at the office, and I've never taken the time to watch it properly. It's too painful and he was SO RAW in that live, I can not bare to see him like that.
So yeah.. I believe his feelings at that time were extremely nuanced. From fear to anticipation to anxiety to a sense of loss of the self, a loss of a tangible thing linked to an identity: his hair; a defining feature, his loss of freedom..all these things combined and that at the end of such a joyful time for them. Oh, what a rollercoaster it was. And who knows, anon, maybe it was a soup that started simmering right there on that final day of their second Japan trip.
I'm still not ready to watch Jimin’s last live. Have you? Is it really bad? I kinda don't want to see the end of Saporro being only bitter, I hope he was able to cling on to those final moments of peace and I think JK helped him with that beyond the sweet reassuring touches.
Thanks for reading 💜
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cheriladycl01 · 7 months
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The Rookie Prodigy - Carlos Sainz x Driver! Reader Part 4
Plot: You are a rookie coming into the 2022 season of Formula One into Alfa Romeo with team member Zhou Guanyu, being in a mid tier team can you help them rise up the ranks. What pressures occur for the only rookies within the 2022 line up!
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After Saudi, you and Zhou travelled all the way back to Switzerland to the Sauber Factory where you had a debrief. You talked about your unfortunate DNF but how it shouldn't affect you going into Australia. Talked about Zhou's consistent P11 and that he just needed to push a little harder to get in the reach of points.
You'd spent a good few days there, getting photo's, doing promo's for some of the sponsor brands you guys were partnered with this year and trying to work out what you guys could improve on the car.
It was a good few days but, heading back to your parents home was strange. Nowhere had quiet ever felt like home to you, you'd lived between houses and hotels, the closest experience you'd ever had to finding a home was with Zhou and his family.
They would take you out for karting together and you would stay in the spare bedroom.
Once you left Switzerland you spent all your time up until race weekend with your family. Now they were a little older and had retired they'd managed to retire with quite the fortune, enough to keep them going on holidays whenever they felt like it.
They had time for you now, which felt even stranger considering you were never that close to your parents arguably when you needed them the most and now that you were an adult with your own place they wanted to get to know you.
You couldn't decide if it was painful and endearing, but when they asked to attend the Australian race with you, you felt like things were getting weird.
They of course offered to pay for their own flights, hotel and any other expenses but they wanted to actually see you drive.
So now you were sat in the First Class lounge in Qatar waiting for your connection to Australia.
"How are you feeling about the race?" your dad asks you.
"Yeah, I mean... it's been hard you know I have no-one to look up to on the team. Zhou and I are setting the standard together. In some ways that drives me more, but at the same time it's a lot of self learning this year!" you nod, not really sure how you were feeling about your team this year.
"Do you think they'll see you talent and get you in a better car next year?" your mothers asks.
"I'm not sure, Charles did it after one year... maybe I can too. But everyone seems pretty set on where they are right now!" you explain, knowing the grid seemed pretty locked up until 2024. The only place you might be able to go would Red Bull if they took Sergio Perez out, which was likely considering he was struggling to second Max. But he'd most likely be replaced with the Red Bull B team, AlphaTauri. It was all very up in the air.
The race weekend started up and you barley saw people outside of you team. You tried to find Daniel, to see of he'd come round the city with you but it wasn't looking likely with the tight schedule you had.
"Y/N! Y/N Wait up!" a voice shout's coming out of the Ferrari hospitality, you head spins looking to who the voice come from, but because of the accent you already knew.
"Hello Carlos!" you smile, looking over him. He was wearing his team polo similar to you and jeans although you were wearing shorts as it was extremely hot.
"Come with me!" he tells you, grabbing your arm and pulling you through the paddock.
The great thing about the paddock was how busy it was, it was rare for you to get spotted or caught on camera because everyone was running around, moving stuff, getting to the places they needed to be, helping lost fans who had paddock passes.
Carlos pulled you into the back of the Ferrari motorhome close to the garage where the tires were all stacked and lined up.
"You look so beautiful" he smiles, tucking some hair behind your ear. You blushed not expecting the light touch.
"I'm just in my team gear Carlos!" you giggle, not understanding the appeal.
"Well, i think you look beautiful in everything, a true work of art" he smiles and before you can even thank him or react, he places a hand on your cheek. He starts to lean in, and it feels like your heart is moving so quickly unlike everything else that seems to slow.
And the worst part is you find yourself leaning in too.
You'd sworn you'd never date or get involved with a fellow driver just because you knew it wouldn't end well.
However, when your lips joined you couldn't stop yourself pushing yourself closer into him, deepening the kiss further. He held you closer, the kiss getting more and more heated making him grab at your hips, squeezing them tightly.
"Carlos!" you whisper looking into those vacant brown eyes that didn't have a thing swimming behind them other than adoration. You'd always thought his eyes looked so clueless like a confused puppy.
"Yes mi carina" he says looking down at you, in seconds your lifted up pushed against the wall as he helps your legs wrap around him before his lips attach themselves to yours again.
"Carlos, no we cant" you say pulling away, you push against his chest, and unwrap your legs from around his waist, accidentally pushing your crotch into his making him groan in satisfaction. You can feel him under his own trousers and it makes you scramble even quicker to get your two feet on the ground.
"W-What?" he asks panting a little from the heated make-out.
"We- we cant be doing this. We are colleges professional athlete colleges. And, its a conflict of interest. I'd be at risk for loosing my seat. We just cant do anything, I'm sorry" you explain with a frown before walking off. You shake your head, knowing you'd done the right thing, for the betterment of your career.
As a female you always had to be more careful what you did and what you said as your seat was already more at risk than anyone else's on the grid. You couldn't make this kind of blunder as it would simply ruin your career.
You made your way back to the Alpha Romeo garage, and you knew you'd have to avoid Carlos for the rest of the weekend until you could talk to someone privately and trusted about everything that happened.
You knew it would be Zhou, but you couldn't talk to him now with the nosy members in the garage that would always be wondering what was going on the drivers room, just to get the scoop.
The race was the most interesting Carlos head wasnt in the game after what happened with you. He was overthinking everything and when he got onto the race track, that all relayed. He made a stupid move, backed out of an overtake and spun off which was awful considering he'd qualified P8 and has a good line up to make his way up the ranks and get the team more points, maybe even a double Ferrari podium.
You on the other hand was solely focused on racing, your team only told you it was a Ferrari that crashed out, you made your way up the grid from twelfth where you'd originally started to end up in P8, your team were ecstatic for you but again Zhou missed out on the points for a rookie era that cost him, points of a second on P10.
"So how do you feel about P8, great come back after your unfortunate DNF in Saudi!" the interviewer asks you and you had the biggest smile on your face.
"Amazing, obviously its great from the team getting those points again, I think me and Zhou are both still learning as rookies and it can be hard where we are both rookies on the same team, but I think the more races we do the better drivers we become. Today was hard, but I'm happy where we are right now!" you grin explaining to the interviewer your feelings.
"It really was an amazing race for you today. I think I'll be bold and say that all of us are excited to see what you can do in a better car!" he smiles at you and you nod.
"I think it's really funny you say that. As a rookie, coming from F2 the car's are majorly different so getting used to a mid field car is much easier than fighting your own skills in the likes of a Ferrari or Mercedes or a Championship car of the Red Bull. So I'm happy gaining the skills I am, in the car that I am in now. It's a good car and I have a great team behind me!" you explain and he nods, loving your level of maturity.
"Well, we are all really excited to see what you can bring to the table in IMOLA, what do you plan to do with that break?" he asks and you shake your head.
"Yeah, I'm excited for IMOLA, its got some really tight corners that I'm excited to see how the car holds up! As for my break, I'll be training making sure my body is ready for a fight and in top notch condition, my trainers told me no cheat days until after IMOLA now, so it's going to be intense" you joke before he offers you a goodbye and you leave.
As your PR manager pulls you to the car, you look over seeing Carlos watching you, stood by his personal trainer watching you get into the car, a sad look resting on his face.
"Awww poor Carlos, he must be gutted about the DNF" you manager says catching whats distracted you.
"Yeah, poor him!" you mutter.
Taglist:
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uncommonsunlight · 5 months
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Final thoughts on this before I put Watcher firmly in my rear-view mirror
They are bad at business. The other content creators that came for them in videos showed that they should not be struggling. They're doing something wrong with their money but rather than fix it or get help with that they tried to make it our problem and that sucks.
That's not something they should crash and burn for but nothing they said convinced me they heard those concerns or think they were wrong initially. They are reacting to a worse response than they anticipated, they are not genuinely feeling bad.
Their quiet likes or reblogs of their equally out of touch friends supportive posts really got under my skin. This is what they really think, they are not genuinely sorry.
They obviously hired PR and listened but why didn't they do that before this launch? They still have a lot of ego to overcome and I don't know if they will be able to do that.
Finally they got to this point because they didn't want to do the work necessary of growing a media company in normal mode. Like Self-promo, hiring people who are capable of doing many tasks and then branching out when they have sustained growth, and putting out lower cost but entertaining content. So they tried to grow it on easy mode and fucked up so spectacularly that now they'll have to do it on hard mode. Even if I was still invested in the personalities (I'm not) I'm also not particularly interested in watching new content I know they're just pretending they like to do.
I'm tired. I woke up not caring whether they did reply or not and I'm not picking the sub back up. There's a real popular saying on tumblr: When someone shows you who they are believe them. I choose to believe them. Maybe I'll look in from time to time. But for now, goodbye Watcher.
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