#( i have directed 6 shows & assistant directed 2)

[delanuit]

( it's simple: i think i should be allowed to direct every version of phantom and not have to pay royalties for it & in fact i should be given a budget to do so bc i will do it so Correctly c'man c'maaaaaan )

[aggieharkness]

Have I earned it, mother? Chp. 1

Pairing: Avis Amberg x reader

Summary: Miss Stinton is sick so now you are Mr. Amberg's secretary and on one cold December night you go to your boss's residence to hand him some work only to be dismissed by him. Without a car to return to the studio you find yourself being driven by his gorgeous wife and finding a certain amount of work benefits that you hadn't even dreamed of in the form of Avis Amberg.

Warnings: smut (+18), affair, swearing, oral (Avis receiving), fingering (Avis receiving), a bit of praising kink as well as mommy kink, power play, pet names, tit play (sorry, I'm an absolute sucker for them)

Authors note: I wrote this at two o'clock in the morning, so please, be gentle but tell me If I need to be more graphic, if I'm lacking on something, because it's been a moment since I last wrote smut, and I might be a bit rusty. Also, if it gets enough love, and if I feel like it, this might turn into an actual multichapter story. I am here for you, my dear people. Also available on Ao3. Finally, let's thank Patti Lupone for giving us Avis Amberg.

Chp. 2 Chp. 3 Chp.4 Chp.5 Chp.6

Word count: 10K (it's fucking long, but I'm not sorry)

Have I earned it, mother?

It was fucking freezing and yet you walked all the way down the street with that thin coat of yours barely doing anything to keep you warm all because Miss Stinton was out sick, so you were her substitute. Miss Kincaid had asked you personally to be Mr. Amberg’s secretary until the poor woman was able to return, so you were doing double the work without a raise in your salary. Running up and down the building to assist Miss Kincaid while doing whatever Mr. Amberg asked of you had you practically forgetting to have lunch most days, with only a snack in your purse that you would have while in the bathroom, getting to work at six am and leaving at nine pm. This surely would kill you if Miss Stinton didn’t return soon. That’s how on an extremely cold night in December you found yourself walking from your car, another thing you would have to fix as it had just given up on you mid ride, all the way to the Amberg residence per your boss’s request carrying a bunch of scripts and documents that suddenly he needed at ten o’clock on a bloody Friday.

Finally getting to those big front gates you rang the bell. For over ten minutes no one came and there was a moment when you thought that perhaps you were at the wrong house, or it all had been a joke and Mr. Amberg was in fact out and you had just taken documents from the studio for nothing. Your train of thought was broken when you looked up and saw an older man unlocking the metal gates and opening them up for you. He smiled kindly and in the light of the streetlamps you saw that his face was adorned with gentle wrinkles around his eyes and his short moustache was trimmed, a greyish tone that matched his face. Without a word he walked you to the front door. You had been to the house very few times, mainly in the last couple of weeks but the mansion still amazed you. It had a Mediterranean look to it that you adored, a nostalgia for home that you had to push away every time you crossed those gates. The big oak doors stood before you, the man leaving you with a single nod and another smile before the darkness of the night swallowed him whole. With shaky hands your index finger rang the doorbell, your body moving to the side slightly out of habit, almost as you expected people to walk out of the home.

Noises at the other side made you grip the papers harder in your freezing hands before Gertie pushed the heavy doors open. She was gentle and kind and showed you in without so much as a gesture of her right hand, closing and locking the doors once you were inside the hallway. Like the well-behaved employee you were you stood until you were directed towards the living room. That was new. Up until that moment you had always been shown to Mr. Amberg’s office, sometimes he was there, others you had to wait until he arrived, so being escorted by Gertie towards the living room was a total surprise, not that you were complaining. Anywhere in that house would be good enough for you as long as it had some sort of heating system. Coming to stand under the threshold you saw your boss, still wearing his suit, resting comfortably in an armchair with a glass of what you suspected was whisky in his hands. He didn’t even lift his gaze towards you, simply thanked his maid and told her she could retire, that they would inform her if they needed anything. You took a step forward and when he didn’t stop you, you made your way to the coffee table that rested in front of him and placed all the documents for him to see.

He groaned at the sight but didn’t reprimand you, which you were thankful for. There was silence for a few minutes as he nursed his drink all while you stood on the side unsure what to do, where to go. He hadn’t even made an attempt to look over what he himself had asked you to bring, and that bothered you, but you bit your tongue. You were a well-behaved employee after all, Miss Kincaid had said it many times, and you would remain so. The silence was disturbed by the entrance of Mrs. Amberg. She really did fill up the space with her confidence and exuberant energy. Your eyes shot from the sight of your worn shoes to her as she walked in, a beautiful deep salmon dress hugging her figure in all the right spots, the lace sleeves embracing her arms as the bodice wrapped around her torso creating a plunging low cut neckline that showed off her full chest, the skirt flowing swiftly around her legs, her red hair curled and pinned in her usual updo, not a single strand out of place. It amazed you to say the least the way she was always so perfect, it made you feel like you were just a speck of dirt on her carpet, with your thin coat, old worn shoes and cheap dress that definitely needed the hem to be fixed. Not even your long hair could compare to hers. You always ended up with broken elastics and your dark golden locks running down your back all the way to your ass. Right now, was one of those moments when your elastic decided to give up on you, like your stupid car, the sharp pain hitting the back of your neck as it snapped, bringing a pained gasp out of your lips as one of your hands made its way to the back of your head.

The noise made both Mr. and Mrs. Amberg turn their heads towards you, but you were oblivious as with your thumb and index finger you took hold of the elastic and tried to untangle it from your hair. Mr. Amberg was quick to pick up the first script then, not giving a single fuck, not that you expected him to, all while Mrs. Amberg kept her eyes glued to your form as you pushed your hair over your shoulder to your front to finally get rid of the bloody elastic. Once that had been accomplished you pushed it over your shoulder once more before putting the broken item in your pocket and looking around the room. By the drinks was your boss’s wife pouring herself a martini all while still looking at you. Those deep brown eyes held an air of power and a certain level of longing that threw you off for an instant, but it was as if they were hypnotic, as if you could not stop staring until she took a sip from her drink and your eyes travelled to her plump red lips. No one should look that good with red lipstick. A grunt coming from Mr. Amberg broke the spell as you turned your head towards him watching as he stood from his armchair, script still in hand and began to walk out of the room.

-Miss Y/L/N, tomorrow I want you in the office. Tell Miss Kincaid that I will have you at the studio all weekend, because these scripts are shit and I need you to fix it.

-Of course, sir. Is there anything you would like me to do in specific?

-Fire this Mr. Conrad and have Jonathan fix his shitty text or he’ll be next. Understood?

-Yes, Mr. Amberg.

-Ace, Christmas is this weekend, are you really going to…

-I don’t care if it’s the President’s birthday. – you had never seen your boss talk to his wife in a such a manner before, and it made a sudden anger rise in your body. This lady, perfect in posture, glamorous in fashion and beautiful in looks had tried to look out for you and all she got was a biting remark from the man that was supposed to love her and cherish her. You had never wanted to stand before Mr. Amberg acting as a shield for his wife ever before, but you knew better than to stand between a couple. You bit your tongue instead. - This is bullshit. Go ahead Avis, read them, you’ll be wiping your ass with these pages in under five minutes. – he threw the script across the room so it would land at his wife’s feet before turning his face towards you. - Fix it Miss Y/L/N, or you will welcome the New Year without a job.

-Of… Of course, Mr. Amberg. I’ll get to it immediately.

-Good. Take all this back to the studio.

-Including miss Crandall’s contract?

-Yes. I’ll take a look at that some other day. Honestly, why did you bring so much stuff girl, as if I would read it all on a fucking Friday evening.

-I’m sorry Mr. Amberg. I should have been more thoughtful.

-Yes, you should have. I’m going to bed; Gertie will show you out.

-Of course, Mr. Amberg.

In all that time Mrs. Amberg, Avis, had not uttered a single word, she had simply watched it all unfold while sipping her martini. She must have thought you were a fucking twat, answering her husband as if he was fucking Lawrence Olivier, but what else were you going to do? Once he was out the door you sighed and began to pick up the documents from the coffee table before you were kneeling at Mrs. Amberg’s feet to pick up the script. Her shoe, a beautiful cream coloured stiletto showed from underneath her dress, coming to stand over the pages, preventing you from picking it up. Confused you lifted your head to look at her. She was watching you intently as she took a sip of her drink. Honestly, was that drink like being magically refilled or had she at some point poured herself another and you hadn’t even noticed. Either way, the rim of the glass was stained by her red lipstick and her deep brown eyes raked over your figure. After a minute of having you like that she lifted her foot allowing you to finally grab the script and stand. You could smell her rich perfume as she walked closer to you, the aroma filling your lungs making the air around you all too expensive.

-You are eager to please my husband are you not? – the question wasn’t asked with malice, simply with a tone of curiosity as she circled you. It felt as if you were prey and she was a predator, hunting you, waiting for the right moment to strike and kill you.

-I am his employee ma’am; I simply do my job.

-Is that what they call it nowadays? I must tell you that he’s not really that good in bed and whenever he gets tired of you, he will dump you and not look back

-I have not slept with your husband Mrs. Amberg.

-Is that so? Then why are you in my home at ten at night on a Friday?

-Because Miss Kincaid asked me to fill in for Miss Stinton. I would never sleep with him ma’am; I won’t disappoint those who think I am capable of doing this without using my body to achieve it. Not that he has ever shown an interest Mrs. Amberg.

-Never? – there was a tone of incredulity that caught you by surprise, almost as if she thought her own husband was a fucking imbecile for not throwing himself on you. She sat gracefully on the couch crossing her legs, her eyes watching your rigid form over the rim of her glass as she took another sip.

-Never. I’m nothing like you ma’am. He doesn’t even bother to look at me when addressing me. I believe tonight has been one of the very few times he’s done so.

-What do you mean by you are nothing like me?

-I don’t have your personality, your beauty, your style ma’am. I don’t know you, but what I’ve heard is that you are a strong, confident woman and anyone with eyes on their face can see that you don’t lack in the beauty department either. Why would he want me when he has you?

-You are such an innocent kid. – sadness had tainted her words and a shadow of it had crossed those deep oak eyes of hers as they watched the transparent liquid in her glass instead of you. You knew Mr. Amberg had had affairs; for fuck’s sakes many of your female colleagues had shared an evening or two with him, but now that you had his wife sitting in front of you, you could not understand why he would stray like that. Something in your heart and your mind wanted, no, needed for her to believe that she was exquisite even if her own husband could not see it. Over her eyelashes she stared at you once more with an intensity that made your breath hitch in your lungs. - I believe you really haven’t slept with him. You are too good, but you let him walk all over you.

-I need this job. Bills pile up and rent and various expenses that I’m not sure how I’m going to face. I’m sorry if you think I’m a foolish idiot who’s kissing your husband’s ass, but I can’t afford to be fired. Perhaps I’m overstepping with the way I’m addressing you Mrs. Amberg, but you must understand that as much as I like my job, it is still a job to me. A way for me to get money, and If I have to overwork myself, I’ll do it. I’m only a secretary after all, it’s not as if I bring creativity or joy to the world.

-How many times has he done this to you? Asked you to stay late or taken the weekends from you.

-A few.

-And now you’ll miss Christmas with your family because he can’t wait until Monday to fix his own problems.

-I’m alone here Mrs. Amberg, and I don’t have the money to go home, so I’m rather grateful for the work. I’ll be too tired to actually think about the holidays. I should get going, walking to the studio is going to take some time. – placing all the papers a bit better under your arm you began to walk toward the side of the couch before she grabbed your wrist, stopping you. It felt as if she didn’t want you to go, as if she didn’t want to be alone by the way her eyes practically begged you to stay.

-Don’t you have a car?

-I do. It’s on the side of the road. It has just broken down. That’s another expense that I have to add to the list. I really must go now, have a goodnight Mrs. Amberg. – she let go of your arm and with surprising agility she stood from the couch coming to stand right beside you, looking at you as if you were mad. Well, there went the concern, out the window, you thought for a moment before she spoke.

-You are not going to the studio by foot in this weather and alone at night. Do you want to get kidnapped or murdered?

-It’s perfectly alright Mrs. Amberg. I’ve done the trip before, and nothing has ever happened.

-Just because it hasn’t happened those other times it doesn’t mean it won’t happen this time. I forbid you from walking to the studio at night ever again. I’ll drive you.

-I cannot ask you to do that ma’am.

-Good thing you are not asking. Come on.

There really was no room for arguing, not that you were planning on it. The way she had spoken to you wasn’t how a mother speaks to her daughter, no, there was something different in the way she carried her form as she commanded you. No one had ever talked to you in such a way, with such worry and concern while at the same time dominating you with only words. It sent a shiver down your spine, and all of a sudden, the room was warmer than before. Having her turn around until she was right in front of you, her face barely a foot from yours, before handing you her half-finished martini, didn’t help one bit. Without thinking you rose it to your lips, downing it, letting the alcohol bathe your mouth and throat, tasting the carmine of her lipstick on your own lips before leaving the glass on the coffee table. Her pupils dilated at the sight; her breaths slightly irregular as she followed your graceful movements. This was something new to both you and her. Avis could watch you do anything if it meant getting this reaction all the time, the way her body heated, yearning for you, while you held her gaze like a professional temptress as your lips touched the glass over the mark of her own lips.

Before anything or anyone could break the spell, she grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the hallway. Gertie was somehow waiting there. You began to wonder if this woman was a psychic because in her arms she had Mrs. Amberg’s coat. It must be a normal thing though, because she picked it up and placed it over her shoulders before dismissing the maid, grabbing her purse and keys from a little table next to the doors. Unlocking them she stepped out and you followed her without a second thought, still seeking the warmth of her hand on yours as if her skin was a drug and you were completely and utterly addicted. Making your way to the black Cadillac that you had seen her drive every once in a while, she didn’t wait for you before hopping inside, the top protecting the leather of the seats from the cold. Making your way to the other side you did not see the way her eyes racked over the shape of your body, accentuated by that thin coat of yours, her hands on autopilot pulling a cigarette out of her purse before lighting it, letting the smoke of her first puff fill up the car for a moment before it vanished as you finally sat down beside her.

When Avis had seen her husband arrive home without even throwing a glance at her she had thought her evening would be just like any other. Boring, unsatisfied, exactly like the day before and the day before that one, but now she had you in her car. For once she was the one who had a pretty lady all to herself, and the things that were crossing her mind, the ideas she was getting of what she might do to you brought a naughty smirk to her lips. For once she was the one who was going to get lucky, and this time she was not going to pay a single pretty penny for it if your reactions were anything to go by. With her right hand on the ignition she turned the car on, pulling the gear shift down and beginning to move, her left hand bringing the cigarette back to her lips, inhaling the nicotine deep before letting the smoke out her mouth and nostrils giving you a side glance as the car stopped before the gates. The rumours and stories about Avis Amberg could not compare to seeing her in real life only a few feet from you, as the red carmine left a mark on the cigarette, watching the smoke twirl around her face, in between her eyelashes, as it vanished into nothing when it touched the ceiling. You had never known of someone that could be this intoxicating even before you knew them, that could send tingles and shivers all over your body, that could send sparks over your flesh with a single touch of her hand. When the gates finally laid open Mrs. Amberg began to drive out into the road, her eyes glancing over your figure every few minutes.

-Do you always stare so intently at people?

-What? – you hadn’t realised just how much you were staring, your body practically turned in her direction, but you needed to take her in as much as you could, from the curls in her red hair to the veins in her hands as she held onto the steering wheel. A blush crept up your cheeks as you averted your gaze onto the window observing Hollywood at night, with its blinding lights, even in winter. Your grip on the papers had become harder.

-I asked you if you always stare at people so intently.

-I… No. I don’t think so ma’am.

-Good, I wouldn’t appreciate receiving such a treatment only for you to give it to others as well.

-I didn’t mean to… I apologi-

-Did I say I didn’t like it? – her tone was deep, thick as honey and husky in its undertones, the temperature in the car rising by the second as you once again glued your eyes to her face. She had such a characteristic profile, with such a distinctive and exquisite nose. You could drown in every inch of her skin if she’d let you, and something was telling you she might. Her left hand brought the cigarette back to her lips, puffing the smoke in your direction as if she was testing you, seeing how taken you were with her. You inhaled the smoke as if it were the last bits of air left in the universe which brought a smile to her face, her pupils dilating ever further before her eyes travelled back onto the road.

-No.

-Then keep on staring doll and you might get special treatment from me. Sure, my husband employs you, but I can offer advantages that he wouldn’t even read before signing.

-I don’t need privileges, Mrs. Amberg.

-Such a devoted worker. For once I believe my husband to be a fool for not trying anything with you but I’m also glad he has not tainted you with his stupid charming words and empty promises. You, my dear, will get anything you want as long as you keep staring. Because you like what you see don’t you?

-I… Mrs. Amberg…

-Answer the question doll.

-Yes.

The smile now was utterly triumphant and so utterly filthy as well, as if she had won a secret award, you being the prize. You hadn’t realised that your thighs were pressed together tightly until you felt a cramp on your left leg. You tried to relax your legs, feeling how much this woman was truly affecting you. It was sinful, but you didn’t give a single fuck, the woman next to you was perfection, an absolute temptress and somehow you already knew she had plans for you even before she had voiced them. You wouldn’t say no to her no matter what they were though. You hadn’t realised how close the Amberg residence was to the studio until the car stopped before the gates, Mrs. Amberg rolling down the window to talk with Jimmy, the security guard in charge of the front gates, the woman taking one last drag of the cigarette before she flicked it onto the road beside the car. Putting the car in first gear Mrs. Amberg drove and parked expertly in her spot before turning the vehicle off.

The redhead turned her body completely towards you then and as much as part of your brain was yelling to move away, a very small part of it in fact, the rest told you to stay put. She liked the fact that you were so eager to have her in your personal space. Her right hand was on the back of the seats while her left one was now holding onto the steering wheel. Her fingers ghosted over your arm as she pushed her body closer to yours, her hand raising towards your face until her fingertips were tracing the shape of your cheek and jaw leaving a path of goosebumps, a delicious shiver extending all over your body as her perfume now filled your entire being, every cell in your body.

-So receptive. And you really want me to believe you are all alone? No boyfriend?

-I never… I never looked for one Mrs. Amberg. Too much trouble.

-On that I agree. – her face was so close to yours you could have counted the spots in her deep irises had there been a little bit more of light in the parking lot. – These reactions are all for me and only me then?

-Yes ma’am.

-Good. – her stand never faltered, her hand never stopped caressing your skin, her thumb dancing over your lower lip. Her pupils had practically overtaken her entire eyes. The rush of heat you had been feeling since she had walked into the living room was skyrocketing by now, your underwear sticking to your thighs as you pressed them together involuntarily. She was so affected by you and yet she seemed as cool as a bloody cucumber, as if she was used to turned people on and then leaving them to fend for themselves. You hoped she wouldn’t do that to you. - You have to leave those documents in my husband’s office, don’t you?

-Yes ma’am. In specific drawers, or he won’t find them on Monday.

-And have you never wanted to sit on his chair, on the couch, alone or… with company?

-I… I…

-So easily flustered. That blush suits you, honey.

Suddenly she was no longer in your personal space but exiting the car leaving you about to faint from how worked up she had got you in such a short period of time. It was insane. Clumsily you opened the car door, closing it gently as you rested over it to control your breathing. You could swear that by how hot you felt you should be giving off steam in that freezing weather. Mrs Amberg began to walk towards the building without glancing back at you because you both knew she didn’t need to know whether you were following or not, you were practically her shadow. At this time of night no one was in the premises, and by the look of things the security guys were very far away from the main building. Mrs. Amberg was in her element, the confidence and power that poured out of every pore in her body was intense, you could almost feel it as she made her way to the elevator. It surprised you though how utterly patient she was being. You had been told many many times before that this exuberant woman didn’t like to wait and did things whenever she wanted, however she wanted, and she didn’t take it lightly when she was forced to wait. The Mrs. Amberg that stood beside you as the elevator doors closed was toying with you, feeding of your reactions and moving extremely slowly around your persona.

That was what you thought until she pressed you against the wall, her right hand resting next to your head while her left one had a bruising grip on your hip, her body pressed against yours, although you could not feel her fully because of the damn papers that were still in your hands. Her face was right on your neck, breathing in your camomile shampoo and your berries shower gel, her lips ghosting over the skin of your neck until the ding of the fucking elevator echoed inside the cabin and you were left with a single peck of her lips under your jaw. It made you gasp; it made you crave more; you needed more of her. Her hands on your hair, over your hips, her fingers tracing every inch of your body, her lips kissing every inch of skin they could. You wanted to unravel her, unwrap her like a Christmas gift until she laid bare before you. You wanted to do so many things to her and yet she pushed her body off yours as soon as the doors opened and walked out. You were still for a minute before following her hurriedly, the hallway you knew like the back of your hand empty, no voices, no noises to disturb either of you. Miss Stinton’s desk was empty expect for a notepad, a pencil and that fucking phone that somehow never seemed to stop ringing when you were sitting in that chair but that remined silent when she was there. But you didn’t care about any of that, not when Mrs. Amberg had pushed the doors to her husband’s office until they were wide open before grabbing your hand and pulling you inside.

The slamming of the doors made you jump, both out of sheer arousal and because it kind of caught you by surprise how loud they were, though Mrs. Amberg didn’t give you much chance of dwelling on it, not when she peeled her coat off, throwing it on top of the couch and signalled for you to follow her towards the big desk. She rested over it, her backside pressed against the edge as you stepped towards her with shaky legs. She pointed towards the coffee table and then at you and for half a second you were at a complete loss as of what she wanted until you saw the papers, in a slight disarray and barely in your hands, and you were quick to dump them there before turning back to her. She wanted your full attention, and you were going to give it to her. Raising her hand, she motioned with her index finger for you to move towards her, your feet barely making a sound over the carpet that decorated the floor until you stood a couple feet from her. Her chest rose and fell in laboured breaths, her full breasts practically battling the bodice of her dress, her eyes avid with hunger watching you as if you were the most exquisite being that ever graced the earth.

-Tell me, Miss Y/L/N, do you want what I’m willing to give?

-Yes.

-Yes, what?

-Yes ma’am.

-And you are willing to do as I say? – she took one step forward. You could not trust your voice, so you simply nodded, but that wasn’t good enough for Mrs. Amberg. She grabbed your face, her lips inches from yours, sending a rush of heat between your legs. This certainly wasn’t how you had pictured this night going, not that you were complaining. – Use your words doll.

-Ye… Yes ma’am.

-Then you, Y/N L/N, are mine.

It was heaven, she was heaven, of that, you had no doubts. Her lips, soft, full, and so very delicious crashed onto yours, her hands shooting to grab you by the hips to keep you secured in place. At first it was only her mouth pressed against yours but in five seconds flat she was pushing her tongue over your lips, asking of you to open your mouth, which you did, gladly. Her taste, sweet and sour, mixed with the traces of the martini she just had, and the nicotine of her cigarette were an intoxicating mix that made you hum and moan gently against her mouth, your hands jumping to touch her shoulders until the settled on the back of her neck, your fingertips touching her soft hair. Her tongue dominated over yours, the urgency and need seeping from her core to her kiss, you on the other hand were simply exploring, taking in everything she was indeed willing to give. There would be time for you to dominate her if the occasion ever arose again, perhaps maybe even tonight. Breaking the kiss when your lungs began to scream for air you latched your lips onto her jaw, feeling her lull her head back, exposing her neck fully to you as you licked and sucked the skin gently; no need to have her husband find a hickey and go absolutely ballistic. Scraping the skin under her earlobe with your teeth brought on a gasp, the grip on your hips harder, her hips pressing harder onto yours. Your hands travelled slowly down her back bringing your palms to press firmly on her ass, squeezing as you sucked a bit harder on her pulse point. The mix between a gasp and a moan that escaped her lips was like music to your ears.

-You’ve done this before. – her voice was so thick with arousal that it had dropped into a low, husky tone. Separating your lips from her neck you stared at her heatedly.

-I said I hadn’t looked for a boyfriend, not that I was a nun. Ma’am.

That simple sentence sent a jolt of pleasure straight to her core, her hands pressing you impossibly closer to her as she claimed your lips once more. This kiss was fucking explosive, her tongue battling and tracing every inch of your mouth, her teeth scrapping and nibbling your lips, bringing out a groan as you twitched under her grip. Clumsily and without breaking the kiss you pushed her back until her ass was resting over the edge of the desk, your hands pressed flat over the wood. Pulling away you bit her lower lip, showing her that you could also be bratty, if that’s what she desired, a moan parting her mouth as your lips returned to her neck. God, this was a whole fucking new level of desire for Avis. Those boys at the gas station did show her a good time, but she paid them for it, with Ernie it wasn’t always a question of money, and he was most certainly the best of them all, but you had barely started with her and she already practically dripping. She felt your hands travel back up her back, your lips nibbling on her earlobe, pulling gently, sending a shiver down her body before you began to trace the shape of her jaw, her neck, sucking on her pulse point again, her eyes rolling back for a second at the feeling. Your hands moved underneath her arms until they were pressed over her stomach, though that wasn’t where you wanted them, no, you pushed your fingers under her breasts, feeling her hurried breaths as your lips kissed over her exposed collarbone, and yet you wanted more, needed more.

Gentle fingers traced the fabric of her dress, over the top of her breasts, raising goosebumps all over her skin before you pushed the material of her gown aside, revealing the top of an ivory corselette, lace cupping Avis’s breasts. The sight was to die for, her full bosom so perfectly dressed in white, begging to be released, begging to be touched. You would take your time with them, drive her mad with lust until she could not stand it anymore. Kiss by kiss you traced the shape of her collarbone, whines and whimpers breaking the silence that filled the office, your tongue darting out and licking the jugular notch in the middle of her neck. Avis’s hands shot from your hips to your head, one pressed against the back of your neck while the other wrapped itself among your hair, pulling softly as if to encourage you to carry on. Painfully slow you kissed and scrapped the skin of her chest, licking the marks to soothe them before you finally reached the swell of her left breast. The skin was soft, so very smooth under the touch of your lips, the freckles that painted her skin so faint in this light that you had never thought her olive kissed skin could be sprinkled with such beauty. As you continued kissing and sucking the top of her breast your hands travelled to her shoulders pushing the dress off her frame and down her arms, leaving her only in her corselette from the waist up. And what a sight she was in white lace.

Her right hand grabbed your face before you could carry on tasting her delicious skin, bringing your lips to hers. God, her kisses were the most wonderful thing in the universe, her taste, the way she sucked on your tongue. Suddenly she pushed you away from her, and for a moment you were afraid she had changed her mind, but her lust filled eyes quickly reassured you that that was not the case. You had left small red marks all over her, nothing that would bruise, but the sight of her breasts practically spilling from her strapless corselette, her heaving chest and flushed skin was enough to nearly send you over the edge. The way your knickers were drenched under your dress and coat should definitely be studied because you were sure your own arousal should be dripping down your legs at this point. You were fucking boiling now, not having bothered to undress yourself at all before you had begun to please her, so before Avis could command you again you shed your coat, throwing it onto the floor. The sight of you in your tight dark blue dress was approved by Avis, who drank you in like a castaway lost in the desert as they found an oasis at last. Without uttering a word, she pointed at the floor in front of her feet, the gesture of her hand as commanding and domineering as her voice could be. And you obeyed. You knelt before her, watching her as she bent forward and grabbed a fistful of hair, pushing your head back.

-Undress me.

She barely whispered against your lips before she stood at her full height observing you through her thick eyelashes. You didn’t waste a single second as your hands found the hem of her dress, lifting slowly to reveal cream-coloured stilettos adorning her perfect feet as well as a pair of gorgeous shapely legs underneath, dressed in silk nude stockings. Beginning at her ankle, you kissed the skin of her left leg, moving upwards leaving a trail of pecks until you reached her knee. After licking behind it you lifted it off the ground placing it over your shoulder as your lips carried the path of her thigh. The room was filled with gasps and quiet moans, that as soon as you began to kiss along her inner thigh, the dress bunched around her waist, turned into throaty ones. It was amazing how soft her skin was and even more so once your lips actually made contact with her flesh above the lace of her stocking, where the garter clipped it in place. Her breath hitched in her lungs as your mouth came so very close to where she needed it the most, a mewl of disappointment escaping her lips as you knelt again, letting the skirt fall back into place. She was about to complain when she felt your lips on her right leg, the words dying in the back of her throat. Fuck, you were good, better than any of the men that she had had in the gas station. Reaching her inner thigh once more you were rewarded by a string of moans and her hands threading among your soft locks. Your right hand grabbed onto the bunched-up fabric, pulling Avis of the desk, dropping her leg of your shoulder but keeping them open for you, tugging the dress down her hips and onto the floor.

Then and there you took the chance, and sucked hard on her inner thigh, making sure you would leave a mark. She didn’t reprimand you, quite the opposite, she moaned loudly, her nails scrapping your scalp making you groan, the vibrations practically reverberating through Avis’s body. Pulling back, you observed your artwork, brushing your thumb over the red spot before lifting your head to look at her. Her brown eyes had been glued to you all that time, her lower lip in between her teeth. She pulled you up by the hair, bringing out a painful yelp that was quieted down by her lips crashing down onto yours once more. As much as you loved to explore her, you needed to see her loosing herself, you needed to taste more than just her neck and legs. Lifting her off the floor you sat her on top of the desk, a surprised yelp echoing inside your mouth, the kiss never breaking until your hands pushed her body backwards. She was now curious, you were taking liberties, not that she was complaining, and she wanted to see what you could do with that mouth of yours. Bringing her left leg over your shoulder you made quick work of the clips, rolling the stocking down her leg, leaving sweet pecks over the now exposed skin. Removing her heel the silk ended up on the floor, but you didn’t throw the shoe away, no, you wanted to see her in those stilettos as she came over and over again. Placing her leg back over the desk you repeated the action on the other one, finishing off with a kiss to the arch of her foot as you placed her shoe back in place. Now that her legs were free of any fabric your fingers traced the shape of her muscles, scraping your nails over her thighs as you bent forward and sucked on her soft skin again. Her hips buckled under your ministrations and yet you were unbothered by her needy whines. Avis Amberg would lose her mind tonight, if only briefly if you had a say in it. Paying attention to her left leg you made sure she had a matching bruise in her inner thigh, sucking harder to see if you could make her moans any louder. You succeeded as the noise practically echoed off the walls and yet it felt so very little to you. Satisfied, relatively, with her legs you climbed on top of the desk, your knees parting her legs even further, but before you could bend forward Avis placed a hand on your chest, stopping you.

-Take that dress off. Now.

You were thankful for the fact that you had decided on wearing a dress with buttons on the front instead of a zipper in the back. You hopped of the desk, your eyes never leaving hers as she propped herself on her elbows taking in every little movement you made. Your slender fingers undid each button slowly, observing how her chest rose and fell with her ever-growing arousal, until the fabric hung loosely of your shoulders. You let it fall, watching as she groaned at the sight of you in a beautiful pair of black lacy knickers and matching see-through bralette, your own heavy breasts fighting to escape the garment. Around your waist was a garter belt that clipped a pair of black nylon stockings. The sight of you in that outfit sent a whole new wave of pleasure down to her core and with cat like grace you climbed back onto the desk. She didn’t fight you this time as you bent over her frame, your chest pressed firmly over hers as you claimed her mouth once more your hands travelling down her sides until you felt the flesh of her firm ass, pinching and grasping it, drawing out whimpers and whines that you swallowed as you refused to leave her lips. Needing air once more you traced the shape of her neck once more, now a little surer of what spots she preferred, feeling the vibrations of her moans as you sucked over her right collarbone, her fingers once more pulling on your hair. Licking the perspiration layer that had began to collect all over her skin you made your way to the corselette, licking the valley between her breasts.

The garment, as beautiful and erotic as it was, was now an obstacle, and with skilled hands you unclasped the first hook, watching as Avis’s eyes snapped open as she felt the pressure on her breasts lessen. God, each hook you undid was an inch closer to you finally being able to do something about that ache that had settled in between her breasts, the need to have your mouth on her. It was utterly hypnotic to see you so concentrated in each hook, drinking in every inch of skin that the garment freed. With the last one finally out of the way you pushed the corselette open, freeing her full bosom for your eyes to see and by George, they were so deliciously beautiful. Without a second thought you dove in between them nibling and licking as your hands fondled them with care, unsure how sensitive they might be to your ministrations, not wanting to hurt her. You kneaded the flesh gently, drawing out such beautiful gasps and moans out of Avis, simple confirmations that what you were doing was exactly what she wanted. Her hips buckled onto your abdomen, nearly begging for you to take it up a notch and you did. Fuck if you did. Your mouth bit down on her left breasts, making your way to the rosy perky nipple, which you popped into your mouth, twirling it and sucking. Avis screamed in surprise and pleasure, her head falling backwards onto the desk, eyes closed, her hips buckling so hard upwards that they nearly sent you falling forward on top of her, but your hands resting on top of the wood prevented it. You sucked, hard, one of her hands shooting to the back of your neck to keep you in place as she moaned and gasped, her breaths coming in so fast you worried she might hyperventilate for a second there, lifting your head to observe her, liberating her nipple with soft pop.

At the loss of contact she opened her eyes and glanced down. The look of worry in your deep eyes melted her, and she graced you with a kind smile, her other hand caressing your cheek, bringing you back up to her lips. This kiss was nothing like the previous ones, filled with passion and desire, it was gentle, caring, it was almost loving, and to the both of you meant the world. The feeling of her now less raggedy breaths as she pecked your lips bathed you in such warmth and love that it could have drowned you and you would have gladly accepted such fate if the last thing you had seen had been those brown eyes filled with kindness. Separating your lips you rested your forehead over hers, both her hands caressing your cheeks. But the lust was still there, and it was not going to go anywhere, yet the trail of kisses that you gave her on her forehead, her eyelids, the tip of her nose and both her cheeks before pecking her mouth were ever so soft. Your lips left feathered touches down her neck and in the valley between her breasts before you attacked her right one, that you had neglected earlier. This time you were rewarded with hums and contented whines. Finally popping her nipple in your mouth, you licked and sucked gently until you grew tired of how quiet she was being and so you bit down making her scream loudly, her hands once more on your head as you twirled it in your mouth. With your left hand you began to knead the now neglected left breast, pinching the other nipple, massaging the soft flesh. Fuck, your hands and lips were magical, and what you were doing to her breasts was absolutely maddening and yet she didn’t want you to stop.

Releasing her right nipple from your mouth you sucked under her tit, harder than you should, but you hardly thought anyone would see a hickey there, except for Avis herself. Now that her abdomen was also free of fabric you licked the taunt skin there, tracing each stretch mark your eyes could find with your tongue, the unique salty taste of Avis a wonderful flavour in your mouth, your hands now fondling lazily both of her breasts as your mouth came to kiss her lower abdomen, right where the waistband of her white lace knickers were. You felt her breath hitch when with your teeth you began to pull them down as you didn’t want to stop touching her tits, but she was lost in every sensation you were giving her, and you could not undress her if you were still in between her legs. You hopped of the table, releasing those fucking amazing plump breasts, much to your dismay and Avis’s, but you had a brand-new mission. Pressing your hands over her hips you caressed her flesh before placing your finger under the waistband, but the sight of her propped once more on her elbows watching you intensely, tits free and ever so alluring and beautiful rising and falling with each husky breath, her chest and cheeks flushed a deep red, her once perfectly coiffed curls now lose from her updo here and there, gave you a new idea. You bent forward, your ass up in the air as your lips kissed her inner thighs, but you didn’t like the position she was in, you wanted her sprawled out, wide open for you and so you bent her legs, placing her stilettos over the wood of her husband’s desk.

Now she was a sight to be reckoned with and you dove, delightfully in between her legs, kissing and licking her inner thighs getting closer and closer to her centre but never really there, her moans ending always in a frustrated huff before you switched onto her other leg. Maybe if you got the chance to do this with her again you would tease her and see up until what point you could get her before she took matters into her own hands, but today you would give her what she desired. One swift lick over the fabric of her knickers and she dropped onto her back with a loud bang and even louder moan, her hips buckling onto your mouth out of their own accord.

-Fuck!

At last, you were getting decent moans, loud and so utterly sexy as you kept moving your tongue up and down her slit over her underwear brushing purposely your nose against her clit drawing out even louder grunts now and holy shit, you were now really dripping down your legs. You needed to fully taste her. With two fingers hooked over the waistband you pulled them off her legs, her eyes half lidded observing you as you dropped them beside you after giving them a good long lick. She moaned at the sight. Fuck, she really was gorgeous fully naked sprawled before you with nothing but her cream-coloured stilettos on. Taking her in for a moment you traced the shape of her hip joint with your fingers before bending once again. One long lick and Avis’s eyes rolled to the back of her head, one hand shooting to your hair while the other one tried to hold onto the desk above her head as you worked you magic tongue around her. She was addictive, salty and so very delicious as you moved it in between her folds, each moan that you were able to draw out of her louder than the previous one as you felt her movements become more erratic. Travelling upwards you gave her clit a well-deserved suck, her pelvis thrusting upwards onto your face.

-FUCK! God! Y/N.

Another suck and she was nearly utterly lost, screaming your name once more, her hips buckling even if you were trying to hold her in place with one of your hands, but she was not there quite yet and you were sure you could give her the push she needed in about ten seconds flat. Two fingers inside her and you practically threw her over the edge and yet you didn’t feel her walls clenching around you the way you wanted them, no, you had to give her more. Moving slowly at first you were so gentle, curling them ever so slightly driving her insane as she whined your name in between pants.

-Please, Y/N, faster.

And who where you to not obey. Lapping your tongue over her once more you moved from pumping your fingers at the pace of a snail to pumping them hard and fast, and curling them until you could hit that sweet spot inside her every single time. And she screamed, so loud that you were sure if anyone was outside the building they could hear her.

-YES! FUCK! DON’T… DON’T STOP, DON’T STOP! FUCK!

One precise grace of your teeth on her clit followed by you sucking hard and she came loudly and all over your face, but you drank her, every drop of her delicious juices, forcing her legs to remain open as you carried on with that punishing pace, her thighs trembling and her hips trusting into your face, your tongue circling her overstimulated bud without a second thought. She had not even come down from her first orgasm when you were already building the second one, and although at first her hand had tried to push your head away by pulling your hair, she was now pushing you closer and closer if that was possible. She needed that release; she needed you to carry on fucking her like that. Her entire body was on fire, stars dancing over her eyes, the coil in her abdomen growing bigger by the minute but that tongue of yours was doing wonderful things to her and she wouldn’t fucking stop you now when she was so close already. She wanted your head buried between her legs forever. You pulled on her clit as her pants became less raggedy, earning a pull on your hair and several screams.

-YES! YES! DON’T… FU… AHHHH…

Pumping your fingers nonstop, practically slamming into her, every single whine and pant turned into screams that escalated at a speed that even surprised you, her walls clenching around your fingers as she fell over the edge once more. Her second peak had her arching her back of the desk so much you nearly thought she would sit on it, screaming your name as if it were every answer to every single question in the universe but you were not done. She had another one in her, you were sure. And so, you added another finger, and her eyes rolled into the back of her head. You could draw out this second orgasm and practically throw her into a third one if only your arm could hold on a little longer and not falter in pace and strength. Her hips were meeting each thrust you gave her and every moan, whimper and pant now mixed into such a guttural sound that you weren't even sure if she would be able to scream, but you carried on in your relentless marathon, sucking her clit and lapping at her folds as your fingers curled and pumped once, then twice, and at the third one she didn’t see stars she saw the entire fucking universe as she came, utterly overstimulated, eyes rolled into the back of her head, back arched of the desk and thighs trembling so much you were sure she would suffocate you.

Her juices gushed out of her at first, but you carried on at the same speed, thrusting your fingers into her, and after a few seconds she squirted all over your arm, face and chest as she released the breath, she had unknowingly been holding screaming so loud that you were sure she would be hoarse tomorrow. You did not slow down until she stopped dripping, drinking every single drop once more, letting her come down from her height at last as gently as you could kissing her thighs, running your free hand over her soft skin as your fingers began to drop in pace. Her walls clenched still around your fingers, but after a few seconds, or perhaps it had been a minute her body fell back onto the desk, absolutely exhausted, only twitching every once in a while, still she was clearly too out of sorts for you to begin a conversation. Carefully you pulled your fingers out earning a disapproving whine from Avis still she did not move, trying to get her breathing into a normal rate. Her legs had dropped over the edge of the table, thighs clenched together now that you were no longer in between them. Watching her like this, so utterly spent and still without looking at you worried you and so you climbed onto the desk right beside her letting your clean hand caress her cheek. She did not pull away. Her eyes, still carrying a shadow of ecstasy opened, and those deep forests stared back at yours, a happy smile gracing her lips as she watched you.

-You, Y/N are quite something. – her words were tainted with desire still, but you would not subject her to another session so soon. The night was young, or as young as she wanted it to be, and if she was willing to wait for a bit until she was ready again, you would give her several other orgasms. But right now, you were content enough with watching her in that absolutely wonderful post climax state. - With a tongue like that I am able to say that my husband is an utter imbecile.

-I thought you would not want him to sleep around Mrs. Amberg.

-Oh, doll, after what you just did you can call me Avis. And well, I don’t, but I’m not willing to give up on someone like you, so he can keep on fucking as many girls as he wants.

-Someone like me?

-Yes. You are quite magnificent, and I think I would very much want to repeat this. So, this can be just sex, or we can let it become whatever we want. – her fingers lazily played with a lock of your golden hair, her body still twitching every once in a while after all three orgasms in one row was something she had not experienced in years. - Up to you, doll.

-I know we are not even acquaintances, but I can assure you that the sight of you utterly naked and so open for me is something I’m not willing to give up either, Avis.

-So just sex? – was there disappointment in her voice? Maybe you were hearing things, still so worked up and needing release of your own, but you had not intended your words to sound so superficial. This woman should be adored both in bed and out of it and she clearly wanted something more than just a dalliance.

-No. Let this be whatever it’s supposed to be. You are the most exquisite woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on, and if little me is enough for the grand Avis Amberg, I will not disappoint. Besides, I still have a lot of stamina left in me, and there are many many surfaces in this office that I can make you see stars on.

-Good. As for those privileges I mentioned earlier, I’m sure we can discuss a raise, amongst other things, but from now on you are to only please me, and if you are a very good girl, I will please you.

-Have I earned it, mother? Have I pleased you?

-Mother? – perhaps you had not given her enough credit, because by the look in her eyes she was very much ready to go already, and the nickname only added to her desire to ravish you. – I like it, and my good girl has definitely earned it.

She climbed on top of you crashing her mouth onto yours as she once more held the power over you, the control she so adored. She was going to fuck you senseless just like you had done with her. Perhaps she might visit you on Christmas if Ace was drunk enough or somewhere else other than the house, earn herself a holiday orgasm and a date even. She could take you dancing, she could spoil you rotten as long as you looked at her with that marvellous adoration that you had carried in your eyes since she had entered the living room. You moaned in her mouth as she bit on your lower lip, her hands lost in your hair. This was most certainly not the plan she had had for this evening. It had been much fucking better.

[servantofthefates]

10 Reasons Why I Love Being a Witch

1) Witchcraft loves me back.

With witchcraft, you get what you give. If you respect a spell’s instructions and perform it with faith, it will work. If you treat your tarot deck with regard, it will give you honest answers. Witchcraft yields results here and now, instead of promising eternal happiness after death.

2) It embraces who I am.

Witchcraft will never censor your truth by asking you to suppress your emotions. Pride, anger, greed, lust, envy… These are what make you human. And they are fuel for rituals. The craft teaches you how to harness and direct them, so you can live up to your potential.

3) It does not care about money.

Whether you use a $30 or a $3 candle will not affect the outcome of your spell. And the number of tarot decks, crystal balls and pendulums you own does not reflect how good a diviner you are. With witchcraft, faith and power are the only currencies that matter.

4) It allows me to avenge myself.

Turning the other cheek may sound nice. But it and self-love cannot co-exist. And in witchcraft, you have to love yourself before the occult allows you command it. The craft lets me practice self-love by giving back malice to anyone who sends it to me.

5) It allows me to help myself.

When your natural gifts are not enough to survive a challenge or accomplish a task, witchcraft lets you call upon the old gods and their minions for assistance. Spells that protect and disarm, heal and harm, grant and transcend are all at your fingertips.

6) It allows me to help others.

Witchcraft requires you to give back. But not through tithes or other taxes like that. Whenever you come across another soul who you think deserves your assistance, you can cast spells for them or perform divination on their behalf.

7) It lets me master myself.

Most people only know their conscious self. As a witch, you will be introduced to your other selves: your higher self and your shadow self. When the three of you have a strong understanding of one another, there is no obstacle you cannot conquer.

8) It lets me glimpse what is hidden.

Through divination, witchcraft allows you to witness things that have not yet come to pass. It also gives you access to the concealed present and the hidden past. This means you can look into people’s souls and see all their hidden motivations.

9) It dissolves my fears.

As a witch, you know that you are always where you are meant to be. Any unexpected, painful or tragic detours are only meant to reroute you to your true purpose. Witchcraft leads you to your true path. It is impossible to get lost.

10) I am the Pope of my religion.

Even though my family taught me the craft, I was given the chance to put that knowledge to the test. Nobody forced me to believe in anything that did not show itself to be true. And whenever I want to talk to my gods, I do not need a middle man. I always have a direct line.

[selkies-world]

Language resources

(Duolingo alternatives)

For those who no longer use or trust Duolingo, I've put together a list of resources - apps, learning methods, programmes, etc - with a list of whether or not they are free, and my personal experience with their success at teaching a language. I have also included new ones that I haven't tried yet but which I have researched; for these, I have included a rating of how much hope I have for them panning out in the future.

[I grew up bilingual & went to a multicultural school that had a student body consisting of children from refugee families who spoke little to no English. The school prioritised teaching the entire student body the minority languages, and finding a bridge language we could all learn together to fill in any gaps in communication. Due to this, I spent the last 4 years of primary school learning new languages with the rest of the student body.

We would have a school-wide lesson for 1 hour once a week - usually with a child or staff member fluent in that language leading the lesson at the front of the gym with a microphone so we could hear the correct pronunciation in time with reading the native spelling & English phonetics on the projector screen at the front of the hall. We were expected to use this language in the corridors when we spoke with teachers or staff members and when we passed by other students regardless of what their or our native languages were. As far as fluency went, we were expected to be able to recognise and say greetings and goodbyes, enquire to each others well-being, know how to ask for assistance, how to ask for medical help for various things, how to ask where the bathroom was, to give and receive directions around the entire school, as well as colours, names of things found around the school, make small talk about our activities of the day and our family, and why we were out of class - all with relative ease & mutual understanding.

We changed language after every break, so it was roughly 8 hours of lessons in each language, before we would start again with a new one.

Alongside this, the older students in the school (final 3 years, aged 9 - 11/12) would learn French 3+ hours a week for those 3 years so their writing, reading and speaking standards were acceptable for the beginning of high school. In 1 of these years, we also studied both of our native languages for the first time, for 6 weeks each.

I left traditional schooling at 11, and while I was home-schooled I taught myself Italian, Russian, and Latin from scratch, along with relearning my preferred native language, and 2 forms of sign - I used Makaton as a young child and in school as I have a form of mutism, but as a teen I realised I associated this language with the severe trauma I experienced at school, and so suffered from flashbacks and dissociative episodes when I used it. This, along with medical concerns, led to me learning BSL, and then SSE. Today, I use a combination of English, SSE and my native language in everyday settings. I have a mental block for learning French due to it being heavily associated with my trauma.

I am saying all this not for sympathy, but so that you can see firstly how much I enjoy and value learning languages, and in order to show my experience levels with learning languages. I've used, tried, and tested all of the learning methods I will be talking about in this post. I have either used or done a lot of research into the apps and programmes discussed in this post.

And yes, I have prioritised ones that teach endangered languages, indigenous languages and languages that aren't often included in language media such as Hebrew, various forms of Arabic, Navajo, Gaelic, and others. I have also included ones that teach and / or document sign languages and sign communication systems.]

Please note that the following lists are arranged in no particular order. They are not ranked best to worst or by any other X to Y ratio. They are simply ranked according to how I remembered, tested, or found each of them.

Apps

1: Fluyo.

Rating for hope / faith: ☆☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆

Effectiveness: n/a

Cost: unknown

Status: not yet publicly available

Please note that while Fluyo is not yet available, its Kickstarter page is flourishing, its app is in development, and the developer is a man of colour who has continued to devote himself to this app and its development despite rising health concerns, developing a life-changing disabling condition, and numerous set-backs. His YouTube channel is very educational, and he has also written a book on language-learning. If you would like to know more, you can learn about him here. Fluyo is set up like a computer game with multiple cute characters who are interactive rather than stationary, and I genuinely have high hopes for it once it is released.

2: Babble

Personal experience: ☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free trial for the first lesson, but a paid subscription is required for any further lessons

Status: available to download

3: Language Drops

Personal experience: ☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆

Cost: free for some lessons, but a paid account is required for access to all lessons

Status: available to download

4: Fluent forever

Hope for: ☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆

Cost: free access to basic lessons to build your confidence with the language, but a paid subscription is required for unlimited access

Status: available to download

5: Lingopie

Hope for: ☆☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆

Cost: free trial for 7 days, but a paid subscription is required after that for continued use of the app

Status: available to download

6: Fluenday

Hope for: ☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free

Status: available to download

7: Language flower

Hope for: ☆

Languages available: ☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆

Cost: free, as far as I can tell

Status: available to download

8: Sign BSL / Daniel Mitchell

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free

Status: available to download

Please note that Daniel Mitchel offers a BSL version of this, along with an ASL version.

9: Bright BSL / sign lab

Personal experience: ☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness:☆☆☆☆

Cost: free for some lessons + premium for all other lessons

Status: available to download

Please note that Sign Lab offers this app for the following sign languages: BSL (Bright BSL), ASL (ASL Bloom), LSF (Pause LSF / Langue des Signes, yoDGS, Libras (LibrasLab), Italian Sign Language (MeLISegno), and Toleio: Norsk Tegnspråk.

10: BSL zone

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free

Status: available to download

11: Reverso context

Personal experience: ☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free

Status: available to download

This is less for learning a language, more for quick reference / fact-checking a translation.

12: Pimsleur

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free 7 day trial, but a paid subscription is required for continued use

Status: available to download

13: Memrise

Personal experience: ☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free for introductory levels, with a premium option to unlock majority of lessons

Status: available to download

14: Busluu

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆

Cost: Free, with a premium option to download lessons, more repetition, and extra lessons

Status: available to download

15: Hello Talk

Hope for: ☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆

Cost: free

Status: available to download

16: Rosetta Stone

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆

Cost: monthly subscription is required

Status: available to download

17: Lingo Deer

Personal experience: ☆

Languages available: ☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free, with a premium option for all lessons beyond Basics 1

Status: available to download

18: Beelinguapp

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆

Cost: free trial, but a subscription is required for total access

Status: available to download

19: Lingvist

Personal experience: ☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆ (though it does have an option to suggest other languages for them to add, and which language you would like to learn from, and they'll email you when / if that language becomes available)

Effectiveness: unknown

Cost: free

Status: available to download

[Please note this one is not photosensitive friendly or seizure friendly. I had to close the app as soon as I opened it due to the design on their opening page, and even when I reopened it and clicked straight through, their colour scheme was still upsetting to my senses.]

20: Lingvano

Hope for: ☆☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free for a few lessons, but for access to all lessons, a paid subscription is required

Status: available to download

21: Duocards

Personal experience: ☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free, but a more advanced version is available for premium accounts

Status: available to download

22: Chatterbug

Hope for: ☆☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free with limited access, but a paid version is available

Status: available to download

23: Mango languages learning

Hope for: ☆☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free trial, with a premium account required for further access

Status: available to download

24: EdX

Hope for: ☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost:

Status: available to download

Please note that EdX is an app which houses courses on multiple subjects, not specifically a language-learning app.

25: Mondly Languages

Personal experience: ☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆

Cost: free, though it does repeatedly offer you a subscription account for an experience catered to you and your interests

Status: available to download

Please note this one may be triggering to those who are photosensitive or whose senses are upset by rapid moving gifs. There is a crown in the top right-hand corner which vibrates very quickly.

26: Speakly

Hope for: ☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free trial, with a subscription account required for further use

Status: available to download

27: Pocket sign

Hope for: ☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free, as far as I can tell

Status: available to download

28: Lingo legend language learning

Hope for: ☆☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free, though I think there may be a premium option either available but unmentioned, or in the works

Status: available to download

Please note that this app offers you the chance to vote for which languages should be added to its interface, so they can prioritise which ones to fund.

29: INC sign language app

Hope for: ☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free

Status: available to download

For those with religious trauma, please note that INC stands for Iglesia Ni Cristo, and the INC Sign Language App "is a project of the Christian Society for the Deaf under the Christian Family Organizations Office of the Iglesia Ni Cristo (Church Of Christ)". While it does not appear to prioritise religious content, the content does feature people dressed in suits as if for attending a church sermon.

30: My signing time

Hope for: ☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆

Cost: 14 day free trial, and a subscription is required after this point

Status: available to download

Please note that this one is aimed at babies / toddlers & families.

32: Falou

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free, with a premium option if you want to learn more than 1 language & unlock additional courses in your chosen language

Status: available to download

33: Earworms

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆

Cost: free for the demo, then after that, the lessons are broken into two "volumes" to buy individually, or 1 bonus-pack which contains both to buy once at a slightly reduced cost.

Status: available to download

Please note that Earworms used to be available as CD lessons, which is when I first used them. The CDs were in Volumes and were more expensive than all costs on this app. I used them 10 years ago and still remember what I learned despite not getting to use the language very often, so I can guarantee their method is very effective.

34: Qlango

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆

Cost: free, with a premium option for the final 3 levels

Status: available to download

Please note that this one is laid out more like a semi-immersive lesson plan rather than a game. However, it is currently my favourite one.

Other resources

1: Signing hands (YouTube)

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆

Cost: free

Status: available to watch

2: Military style

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆

Cost: n/a

Status: available to begin for free, though it will be difficult for you to find an environment that allows you to experience this authentically. If you would like to learn more about what the military style is, I will speak about it further below.

3: Textbooks / Reading materials

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free, or otherwise up to you (what you are willing / able to spend on it)

Status: available to start whenever you feel like it

You can find numerous language-learning resources listed at the end of this post. I also recommend buying an up-to-date dictionary and thesaurus in your chosen language, and studying it. Study the grammar noted in the front, and then actually read the dictionary. It will seem strange, but it will benefit you in the long-run. Make notes as you go, highlight and colour some things in as you see fit.

Learning methods

1: Immersion

Over and over again, we are told that immersion is the best, most effective way to learn a language. This is because this is how we often think children learn languages - and we're partly right about that.

Immersion is the process of immersing yourself in the chosen language, with one single choice: learn the language, or suffer.

If our brains have to choose between struggling to pronounce a few words while gesturing to something we want and clinging onto sounds we hear like trying to hold onto a wet otter, or not getting what we want, we're going to choose to sound & look like an idiot, pointing and saying basic sounds, even if trying to remember the reply is like trying to remember Pi.

With enough time, though, we pick the language up remarkably well when we have no choice but to pick it up. This is the method which has us mimicking accents and gestures and expressions in order to best gain what we want: to express ourselves, our needs and our desires.

However, immersion is often critiqued because unless you have the means to fly to the country that speaks your desired language and live there with 0 influence from your native language for 6+ months... Well, you're not fully immersed, are you? Language apps try to give you an immersive experience, but you can always put your phone down. Depending on where you were educated, you may have had an immersive language class, where you had to learn the language or not be able to join in and so failed by default.

Good ways to mimic immersion are: finding radio channels in your chosen language and watching TV shows in your chosen language without subtitles, and listening to music in your chosen language.

2: Flashcards

Flashcards often tend to be a popular way to test your memory and retention of a particular subject. However, using them to begin learning a language can lead to a loss of motivation.

If you are creating the flashcards yourself, I would recommend creating them in 2 sets: 1 which is the traditional flashcard (your first language OR a picture on one side, and the translation on the other side), and 1 which has twice as many, with only 1 side being used. This second set should be designed like playing cards - the word or picture on one side, and a plain back.

This second set can be used when you're wanting to boost your motivation or confidence - arrange the cards face down, and begin playing the children's game of Pairs. Another option would be Snap.

When you return to using the traditional flashcards, you'll have a better foundation to build on if you've taught yourself to see these as fun, and taught your brain to associate these cards with quickfire responses - such as are brought to the surface during childrens' cards games.

3: Stickers

This is a method which seems obvious once it's pointed out, but seems confusing if you've never done it before.

Simply put, using stickers is when you create or buy stickers with the translation of everyday objects, words and phrases in your chosen language, and put them up around your house. "Door" goes on the door. "Cupboard" goes on the outside of a cupboard, "bread" goes on the inside. "Fridge" goes on the fridge door. "Milk" goes behind the milk so you see it every time you pick the milk up. "Lightswitch" goes above / under the lightswitch. Etc etc etc.

This is a memory retention technique used for multiple scenarios. Nurseries and schools may sometimes have the Makaton sign for something shown in a large diagram stuck to the walls / surfaces. Carehomes may have the names & purposes of objects stuck to the surfaces / objects in the dominant language, for the residents with memory issues or communication barriers.

While this is a good technique for quickfire memory boosts, it can be a slow way to learn a language from scraps, and is better suited for when you are semi-familiar with the written form of the language you are learning. It is also a good way to get everyone involved, as everyone in the home will be interacting with the stickers.

4: Forced conversation

This one is controversial, but can be very effective if it is approached with an open mind, clear communication and previously-agreed upon rules and lines.

The method of forced conversation is exactly what it sounds like: it is when you are engaged in a conversation in your target language, in which the person whom you are conversing with refuses to speak your original language. However, no matter how poor your language skills are, or how uncomfortable you get, they do not stop the conversation, and you do not let to leave the situation until they are satisfied you have communicated well enough, and have understood them. This will usually be "proven" by them giving you instructions, asking a specific question, or requesting you do something for them - if you follow the action through, you have understood them, if you try to give a vague answer and do not do the task, you have not understood them, and the interaction is forced to continue. Again.

This method is controversial because it is not immediately inclusive or welcoming for those who are shy, have anxiety, any form of Mutism, or who have a neurodiversiry or learning disability which impacts their communication. In formal situations, it is often these people who fall behind or get put off from learning a language if forced conversations are the only method they have the option of.

However, if there are adaptions made and accommodation previously discussed and provided, this can still be a viable method which is inclusive to all.

If the person speaking your target language is previously informed of your communication issues or complications, and are instructed in how to accommodate you (ie: Do they need to point at something, or use picture cards as prompts? Do you prefer using picture cards? Do you get distracted if they use hand gestures? Do you need fidget toys provided? Will it be easier for you if you are not forced to maintain eye contact? Will it be better for you if one or both of you are moving around rather than sitting down directly across from each other? Do the lights need to be altered in your environment to make the sensory experience less overwhelming? Do you use noise cancelling headphones? Do you focus better if there is music on in the background? Are there certain tones of voice or volume levels that need to be avoided? Does constantly changing body language stress you out? Do you have a stutter or speech impediment that may impact your pronunciation? Etc.)

Accomodaring these issues, and coming up with a signal to take a break (ie, if you have issues telling the difference between "I am angry at you personally" and "I am tired today" in vocal tones and facial expressions, will you get upset if you think the person is angry at you for not knowing their language? If so, do you need a signal to take a break so you can clearly communicate your stress, and they can give you an answer in your original language and clarify anything which is upsetting or confusing you, before continuing the conversation in your target language?) or to speak in simpler terms? Is their one subject you can talk about particularly well (a hyperfixation) which they can use in the conversation to help you engage?

All of these accommodations may seem intimidating, but if all those involved are aware of these accommodations going into the conversation, it can make the interaction much more positive and productive.

Forced conversation uses the same logic as immersion: if your brain has to choose between looking / sounding like an idiot who stumbles over words, or a very uncomfortable situation which lasts longer each time you make a mistake, your brain will choose to look like an idiot in order to achieve what it wants.

5: Repetition

Repetition is a very common method of learning a language, though it is often criticised for being ineffective.

It is when a phrase or word is said by one party, and repeated by another. If the second party does not pronounce it correctly, the first party repeats it again. This continues until the second party gets it correct. Then the pattern is repeated with another phrase / word. Once a certain number of words have been said correctly by the second party, the first party will return to the start and repeat the process again, with the second party having to say the phrases / words correctly multiple times before being able to move onto the next. The entire process continues in this loop until the second party is saying things correctly with ease.

This method is part of what makes up both immersion, flashcards and military style methods for language learning. It can also be used with textbook learning.

However, it is often critiqued because once the second party is away from the first party and left to their own devices, their confidence in their previous pronunciation will falter, and when they return to the lesson or need to use the language again, they'll be at a lower level of achievement than they were when they left. It is also very tedious, and can become boring.

6: Music

When I spoke about immersion, I briefly mentioned music. I also said that we assume children learn language via immersion. However, as adults we often overlook something else which plays a crucial role in teaching children language: music.

Children learn language, rhythm, speech patterns, and turn-of-phrase via songs, rhymes, riddles, fables, tongue-twisters, and music.

This is why it can be priceless to learn songs in your chosen language. Lullabies. Nursery rhymes. Children's songs. Pop songs that are ridiculed as being too simple or written without talent. Theme tunes from children's shows. Traditional rhymes and tongue-twisters. Most of these can be found via a long time on YouTube.

Music works in a unique way, worming its way into our minds. Our brains are hardwired to recognise and remember patterns - and music is made up of patterns. This is why we get songs stuck in our heads for no reason. Being able to use this to your advantage to learn or remember a new language can be an amazing experience.

7: Subtitles and language swap

This is a method which can be useful when you are learning more than one language, but are more familiar with one than the other.

It is where you watch / listen to a certain media in 1 language, while reading the subtitles / lyrics in another language. This way, the language you are more familiar with / fluent in will fill the gaps of understanding the less familiar one.

You can then challenge yourself by removing one language (muting the media & only reading the subtitles, or removing the subtitles and only listening to the provided audio) and seeing how well you follow along / understand.

This can also be used with your target language and your original language.

8: Writing it down

This is another form of repetitive learning which can be useful when studying / retaining for an exam, but can also be useful when you are first learning the written-to-verbal patterns of a language.

One method is longterm recall: this is where you write down short notes, words & phrases in your target language 1+ hour after engaging with your learning resources. This tests how much you retained. It is a physical show of how much you have actually learned.

Another method is short term recall & build-up: this is where you choose a single word / phrase, and write it as lines (Ducks are green and brown. Ducks are green and brown. Ducks are green and brown. Ducks are-) until your page is full. Then go back to the start and write over the top of your own writing, staying as close to your original marks as possible. Repeating this pattern multiple times until your page rips or the words become close to unreadable tricks your brain into focusing morenon your handwriting than on the language - as such, you will start to see the phrase / word as a pattern to follow, and it is then left to your subconscious mind to retain it while your conscious mind prioritises hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills.

9: Textbook

If you're more academically inclined, you may prefer a textbook method of study. This is the style used in most night classes and / or some traditional education classes.

Textbook methods have everything arranged by date and time, and learning goals are broken down & laid out according to a set calender: by x, you will have learned this amount, by y, you will have learned this amount, so on so forty until the final set date when you will be "fluent" or a certain level of reasonably fluent.

Most of the time with this method, you will be following guidelines, activities and lesson plans previously arranged in a chosen textbook, and that textbook will be your sole or primary resource.

10: Bilingual books (page by page)

Using page-by-page bilingual books can be confusing and is often overlooked in regards to adult education - however, it can be somewhat interesting to try.

On one page, the text will be written in your original language - on the opposite page, the same text will be repeated in your target language. Seeing the two side-by-side allows you to read your target language and instantly refer back to your original language if you get stuck on a word or phrase.

There is another form of bilingual books often given to children: line-by-line. These feature the image / picture, with the original text written clearly and simply, usually no more than 1 or 2 sentences per page. Directly underneath them will be the translated text written in a different font.

11: Same story / movie, different language

While this can be a fun method, it isn't always the most beneficial if you're looking for accuracy - however, it can be useful if you're wanting to test yourself.

It uses a similar logic to the subtitles & language swap method: you put on a movie you are familiar with, but you put it on in your target language with 0 subtitles. This allows you to engage with the language while using the familiar movie / story as a bridge.

12: Military Style

This is perhaps the most effective technique to use of you have a set amount of time to reach a specified level of understanding / fluency in a language. However, it is also one of the most difficult to fully replicate yourself.

Military style is a form of forced immersion combined with forced conversation and repetitive loops, but with reward and punishment techniques to make you prioritise learning the language over your own comfort zone / personal boundaries.

An example of this style would be party 1 having party 2 engage in forced conversation in front of an audience, then having them repeat a phrase they got wrong over and over until they get it right - all in front of the audience, with a rule set which forbids party 2 from sitting down or disengaging the interaction until they have finished the task. Nobody in the audience is allowed to help party 2. Party 1 continues to push party 2 outside of their comfort zone by having them continue the conversation, repeating any mistakes until they are corrected, and the conversation does not end until it is completed.

After that, party 2 has to do 100 push-ups while repeating the phrase they got wrong the most - and they have to pronounce it correctly while doing the push-ups. Any mistakes, and they go back to 1, regardless of if they were at 7 or 98.

This combined punishment of mild public humiliation and physically pushing their body beyond its limits makes the brain see learning the language as the solution to ending this treatment - as such, party 2 will be far less likely to repeat those mistakes again.

Alongside this, there is forced immersion, in the sense that nobody is allowed to speak their original language in any context or to anyone - they must use the target language or be ignored at best or ridiculed at worst.

Understandably, this method is difficult to replicate on your own or outside of the army.

However, there are some tokens which can be taken from it: notably forced repetition & physical exercise.

Set yourself a challenge using any of the previously mentioned learning methods or apps. Keep note of your mistakes.

At the end of the challenge (say 30 minutes of learning) count up all your mistakes. Now do a push-up / squat / pull-up / sit-up / etc for each mistake you made while repeating the phrase out loud. If you stall too long on making a connection in your mind or stumble over the sounds, start counting from 1 again. Repeat this until you're continuously getting the mistakes correct.

At the end, go back to your lesson and repeat it. Did you get less mistakes?

Thoughts & considerations when it comes to learning a language - for language savants and novices alike

"If you don't use it, you lose it" is probably one of the most hated phrases in terms of learning anything new - and especially in terms of learning a language. I think a better expression would be "If you don't make room for it, you won't keep it".

If you don't make time to learn a language, you won't learn it.

If you don't challenge yourself to reach a certain standard, you won't achieve any standard.

If you don't make the effort to retain the new information, you'll forget it.

When you learn a new language, you have to make room for it in your mind. You have to be willing to make mistakes and continue, knowing you're not doing it perfectly. You have to be willing to make it a priority, even if nobody else in your life sees it as one. You have to be willing to be frustrated and tired and bored. You have to be willing to get every single thing wrong and try again. You have to be willing to be uncomfortable with the new sounds you're making and you have to be willing to be patient while your brain digs out a new burrow of tunnels and connections which didn't previously exist.

If you genuinely want to learn a new language, you have to make room for it in your mind and life. Even when sometimes it's a tight fit.

Resources, as promised

Reading, writing & textbook materials:

Book 1

Book 2

Book 3

Book 4

Book 5

Structured notebook 1

Structured notebook 2

Structured notebook 3

Something worth checking out 1

Other things to invest in:

A dictionary in your target language

Picture cards

Flashcards

Stickers

Books in your target language

Children's books in your target language

Nursery rhyme books in your target language

Magazine subscriptions in your target language on a topic you find fascinating

Newspapers in your target language

Poetry in your target language

1 paid language learning app - a lot of the time, you get what you pay for. Not always, but usually.

Notebooks, stationary, etc

Headphones / earplugs

Media in your target language

[admiral-mason]

Ultra-Impact Part 5 (I need a better title for this shit lmfao)

Yes, I need better titles, so if anyone can give them then say so in the comments below

Idea based on @valeriele3's Live Stream post

0-4 0-5 << YOU ARE HERE 1-1

PRELUDE /// CLIMAX START THE HYPERDEATH

TIME TO PROVE YOURSELF.

As the horde of husks closed in, your confidence immediately dropped. No events in your life have ever prepared you to fight off a horde of hellish humanoids.

Immediately, both V1 and V2 started attacking the horde of husks, the former using some form of a sawblade launcher while the latter used his nailgun.

This drew most of the husks' attention to the machine duo, but a filth rushed towards you. You hesitated for too long, and it bit you on the arm.

"FUCKING- AAAGGGHHH-!!" In response, you haphazardly shot at it, firing two revolver rounds from your left revolver at its body. As its blood stained your clothes and arm, the pain rapidly dissipated.

DESTRUCTIVE + KILL

This also unfortunately drew the attention of a few more filth.

You moved away from them while shooting your revolvers, but as soon as you killed all but two of them, you couldn't fire any more rounds and instead resorted to punching them. Then you heard another one attempting to sneak up on you and you slapped it twice in the face with your revolver.

DESTRUCTIVE + KILL + BITCHSLAP + BITCHSLAP + KILL + KILL + KILL

"Huh, new style bonuses..." You then looked at your revolvers and noticed that they showed a 0 on their displays before the right one turned to 1, 2, 3, and so forth with the left one following behind right after.

However, you then had to dodge two crosses of projectiles and you saw the culprits: soldiers. As their blue right-arm cannons charged more projectiles, you shot one of them before parrying the other's projectiles back at him.

CHAOTIC + FRIENDLY FIRE + PARRY

Seeing no imminent danger, you watched V1 and V2 clear up the last hellish forces. However, more ended up spawning- and this time machines were involved.

Alongside the filths, strays, schisms, and soldiers were drones and streetcleaners. V1 and V2 went at it again; V1 used a coin to interrupt two strays preparing projectiles while V2 eradicated a group of filth with his knuckleblaster.

Not being caught in imminent danger, you wanted to try something. Rushing forward a bit and bringing your body mass to the ground, you slid forward akin to V1 and V2 when they did so. Getting back up, you slid towards V1's direction and shot up a drone before she parried it into a schism.

CHAOTIC + ASSISTED KILL + KILL

"Whoo, you're sliding! You're getting ahold of this already, dear godfather!" V1 exclaimed as she blew up a couple of strays with a rocket launcher before blowing up another group of filths with a malicious railcannon.

"Uh- actually I don't wanna be- OH SHIT!" You exclaimed as you heard an unparryable attack sound and barely avoided a streetcleaner's attack by sliding away, taking some damage in the process. Turns out that the fire could burn your clothes though, as evident as to how the right sleeve of your hoodie got burned off.

It was your favorite hoodie, the piece of clothing that stuck with you thick and thin, every time you wanted to warm up and sit on your chair to play games. Seeing its sleeve burned off left you absolutely pissed.

A primal rage you felt after dying to Gabriel so many times in 6-2 surfaced. "My fucking hoodie! DIE YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!" You screamed in anger as you shot the streetcleaner with two revolver shots to its head before sliding up to it and punching it.

You then noticed two drones accompanied by four strays and two schisms attempt to assault you; you dodged the projectiles before parrying one into the group, killing the strays and severely harming the schisms. You repeated this with the drones, even sending one of them flying into the schisms as you did back while playing Limbo's stages.

Finally clearing up the dangers around you, you went off to help V1 and V2 mop up anyone remaining.

Your twitch chat found out a few minutes ago that apparently the stream can put your perspective on the stream from a message sent by the terminal:

TERMINAL_069: Greetings, mankind! I just want to mention that I can project your beloved human from their eyes! This way, we all can enjoy some quality entertainment: combat!

It the followed up with another message:

TERMINAL_069: Unfortunately, they cannot interact with you until I am placed into an actual terminal body. Oh! And an unrelated, but notable mention: if you wish to donate them money, do it. Each dollar donated equals a thousand points for new weapons to their arsenal!

Now, your chat and the terminal interacted while watching you fight like an action movie.

Brrrrrrtt: Yep everyone's fucked

feetusdeletussthenyeetus: He's in his villain arc

NaviaLover291: Oh my god I did not expect them to get ahold of themselves this quickly!

valeriele3 donated $10.00: "I hope this helps you [name]!"

TERMINAL_069: It will indeed, valeriele3!

johnifer donated $200.00: "I'm glad I pirated indie games to donate this, guys pirating indie games can do good!!!!"

TERMINAL_069: I don't know what that means, but if it helps [name] then it should be good!

Although slightly predictable and slow, you generally got ahold of how V1 and V2 fought, dodging and parrying every projectile known to man before revolver shots ensued. Your double revolvers especially helped since double the firepower meant that some enemies that took two shots to kill now went down with a single blast.

You also learned how to dash and ground slam, performing the former frequently to dodge various attacks while utilizing the latter to slam into a street cleaner.

0329: Better streaming than Disney plus

Adm!ra1-M4son: This shit fire!

bunniotomia: I hope Razor and Bennett are okay...

Once V1 killed the last husk, you three managed to recuperate a little bit.

"Whoo! Nice going, godfather!" She said. "A little bit more combat and your kill count will be like mine and V2's in no time!"

"Uh- actually I'm not sure why I'm called 'godfather,' could you just call me [name]?"

V1 thought about it for a bit before responding. "Okay!" She simply said, respecting your choice.

"You two done talking?" V2 said. "If so, then let's get on with it. Follow me" However, just as the three of you started moving, a familiar yellow, scrappy machine was suddenly teleported in front of you three.

The Swordsmachine.

It immediately ran towards V1 before firing its shotgun. The blast, instead of looking like small grainy pellets, looked like a goddamn explosion from your vision.

V1 dodged the shot before responding with her own shotgun and disrespecting the machine by punching it a few times before retreating. V2, meanwhile, took the distance and responded with a Screwdriver railcannon shot.

You couldn't do much aside from offering a few revolver shots here and there, but you did parry one of the Swordsmachine's sword swings when it got close to V1 and tried attacking her with its sword. This hit the tall-headed machine directly in the face.

DESTRUCTIVE + PARRY

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA-AHHH-ER." The machine screamed, visibly pissed off with how its blue eyes shifted to red. Now its target priority was you, and you barely managed to dodge its sword swing. After that, V1 tossed four coins into the air before hitting them with her electric railcannon. V2 performed the same tactic for additional damage.

This caused the Swordsmachine to scream in pain again, and you noticed how its right arm now lay on the floor along with its shotgun.

Seizing the opportunity, you slid over to the gun and snatched it while V1 and V2 caused more damage to it. Suddenly your dual revolvers were gone and another tutorial box revealed itself:

SHOTGUN: PRIMARY FIRE PIERCES WEAKER ENEMIES

A brief look at the gun showed that it was the blue variant or the core eject shotgun, the variant initially obtained when defeating the Swordsmachine for the first time in Ultrakill.

You had to stop admiring the gun and slide away because the Swordsmachine clearly wanted to end you.

It threw its sword at you, which you just barely dodged. You stopped sliding and decided to pull off a trick that your twitch chat taught you: projectile boosting.

You tried performing a pushing motion in front of the shotgun as you fired it, and sure enough, your screen froze and flashed white for a second before you saw a flaming, orange mass fly towards the Swordsmachine and hit it square in the head.

DESTRUCTIVE + PROJECTILE BOOST

This also caused the Swordsmachine to let out a scream as it fell to the floor, limp. Once you confirmed your safety, you looked over at the spot where your hoodie's right sleeve used to be before sighing a little.

"Hey, that was my kill!" V1 exclaimed before she noticed your shotgun. "Oh hey, nice! You're building up your own arsenal."

"...I'm becoming a true American, haha," you jokingly said to her response. "Okay, I'm assuming that the Swordsmachine was the last threat."

"Judging by me, likely so. Now, I say we head to Mondstadt first, since we're the closest nearby." V2 said, looking at the nation of freedom. "Unfortunately, I don't know how we'll purge Hell from this world, so until then, just shoot everything that tries to kill us."

"Alright, seems easy enough!" V1 said before she rushed on over in the direction of the nation. And then, shit cranked up from one hundred to two hundred.

Massive spikes rose from the ground, steadily enfolding and enveloping the city and the lake surrounding it. Dragonspine followed shortly after, and bloody red vein-like cascaded up the massive coverings, occasionally pulsating like a human heart.

And to top it all off, once the ground lay motionless, a familiar red elevator raised itself right ahead of you three. The lights turned on and the doors opened.

"...I guess we head in now?" You asked and the two machines nodded. The three of you stepped in and you saw the long drop downwards with no end in sight.

"...Hey, uh, do I take fall damage?" You asked in a slightly quivering tone. V2 simply responded with "I have no idea."

V1 then decided to carry you bridal-style out of all positions. "Don't worry, [name]! Since I don't suffer fall damage when I land, you shouldn't either! Now, in we go!"

"Waitwaitwait-whooOOAAAA!!" You screamed as V1 jumped down the elevator, with V2 jumping in soon behind.

0-5: START THE HYPERDEATH: COMPLETED

Taglist: @valeriele3, @bunniotomia, @feetusdeletussthenyeetus, @quantoom

[missvelvetsstuff]

The Situation Room

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: After a mission almost gone wrong, Tony brings back Bucky's former assistant, who is also Bucky's ex. Can they work together without hurting each other? Will the whole truth about their break up finally come out?

Avengers AU where Thanos never happened.

Notes: Angel is the team's nickname for their assistants, not just Bucky and Radar.

As always I've tried to keep reader generic but she is female and above average height.

Chapter 3

Warnings: swearing, marijuana use, angst

When they landed Radar stalked off the jet, with a slight hitch on her left side, to find Steve. Friday directed her to the common room, Bucky was not far behind her.

When she saw Steve, watching some war movie, Radar stood in his way.

"I need a moment of your time, Rogers."

Steve looked up at her in surprise "Oh hey Radar, I didn't know you guys were back."

She glared at him "Yeah, we're back. Your little friend threw one of his fucking knives at me today and cut me. Would you please tell him to stop trying to kill me."

Bucky scoffed "Kill you? Seriously? Don't be so melodramatic. I nicked you, it barely bled."

She got up in Bucky's face, at just under 6 feet and with boots on she was almost eye level, and poked him in the chest

"I know you have good enough aim that you could have gotten him without hitting me at all. Don't pull that shit again Barnes."

Radar tried to pivot and walk away but her back was still angry from that asshole in the quinjet jerking her around and decided it was the perfect time to seize up. She cried out in pain as she almost hit the floor but was caught by a pair of strong arms. Once the pain passed, she realized whose arms were holding her up and tried to push him away from her.

"Get off of me!"

Bucky chuckled dryly "Jesus doll, I'm trying to help and you're gonna make your back even worse. Just calm down."

Radar was even more mad that he was right, he had seen her go through it too many times while they were together. But his skin felt like it burned her. His warmth, his scent, she couldn't stand it. "I'm not your fucking doll, Barnes. Now let me go. I'd rather crawl over broken glass than accept help from you."

Steve chuckled nervously "Here, I'll help you to medical, Radar."

She shook her head "I don't need to go to medical. I have ice, heating pad, a tens unit, mineral ice and pain meds. Everything I could need. All in my room." She carefully straightened up and took a couple of tentative steps "I'll be fine on my own. I'll have Friday help with my report." She walked away very slowly and carefully with her left hand on the wall, while favoring her left side more heavily than when she came in.

Bucky looked at Steve and shook his head "She's just as stubborn as ever."

Steve looked at him with his dad face

"We both know she's right. You didn't have to cut her."

"Seriously punk? He had her head right in front of his and his trigger finger was twitchy. Couldn't wait for a better shot."

Steve rolled his eyes "No one here is gonna buy your bullshit, jerk. Try not to antagonize her too much."

Bucky shrugged with a 'who me?' look on his face and headed towards his room to shower before going back to the common room to meet his date.

Radar was in the kitchen in shorts and a tank top, making herself a smoothie when a gorgeous blonde woman, dressed for clubbing walked in "Excuse me miss, can you tell me where to find Sargent Barnes?"

Radar looked at her and shrugged "Sorry, no."

Bucky hurried up and kissed the blonde on the cheek "Hey there sweets. Hope you weren't waiting long."

The blonde smiled "No, I just got here and was asking, I'm sorry I didn't get her name."

Bucky laughed "Don't worry, she's just support staff. No one important." And led the blonde away.

Radar refused to watch them leave, refused to let her face show anything as she forgot about her smoothie and went back to her room. She ran a hot shower so the running water would cover the sound of her sobs.

Over the next 2 months life settled into a regular pattern...missions, reports, scheduling, interviews and Bucky's women of the week.

Bucky's life was much more organized with Radar handling all of his work needs. His gear was always clean and ready to go, his reports were complete, legible and on time, his schedule was organized so that he wasn't missing appointments or interviews. Best of all his public approval was through the roof, almost equal to Sam.

Radar only went along with a couple more missions but handled most from her laptop in the compound situation room. She spent her spare time in the common room or her own room. Plus 3 days a week she had 2 hours in the gym with physical therapy and exercises to strengthen her back.

Bucky used the free time that Radars assistance cleared up for him to add more women to his roster. There was almost always some scantily clad woman waiting for him at the end of each work day and when he returned from missions.

Bucky would never admit it but he was still trying to get a rise out of Radar and her refusal to cooperate frustrated him.

When one of his dates tried to talk to her, she always shrugged and said she didn't know where he was. If she said anything at all.

Radar had already started looking for her replacement and one of the candidates came in at the same time as Bucky's date for that nite.

Radar shrugged at the woman and walked past her to greet the man before leading him towards her office.

Bucky kissed his date on the cheek as he watched Radar walk away with a strange man in a suit. He looked at Sam with a raised eyebrow, to which Sam only shrugged and chuckled.

While on his date, Bucky couldn't get Radar and that guy out of his mind. He wondered what they were doing and why all of a sudden she had men coming to see her. He was jolted from his thoughts when his date tapped his shoulder and he focused on her.

"Are you ok Bucky? You seem a million miles away and I didn't come out to watch you daydream. It was about that bitch at your compound, wasn't it? I saw how you stared at her when she walked away with that guy in the suit. Why ask me out if you want to be with her?"

Bucky snapped, raising his voice "Don't call her a bitch"

She pulled back "Why are you yelling at me?" She whined "Maybe you should take me home and go be with her."

Bucky shook his head "What? No, no sweets, she's just my assistant, no one important."

It made his heart hurt to say that but he didn't know what else to say to salvage the date.

"I'm right here with you. So tell me about that photo shoot."

He worked very hard to push any thoughts of Radar out but hearing Ashley drone on about some beach shoot was boring him to sleep.

After the interview Radar went to meet with Nat and Wanda for a girls movie night. Once they settled into Wandas bed, they started arguing over what movie to watch.

Radar sighed "I hate some of these romcoms you guys watch. Why not some good sci-fi?"

Wanda gasped "Sci-fi? On girls night? No, I want romance."

Radar rolled her eyes "Fine, I'll just get high first so it'll be entertaining."

Nat nodded "Now a good idea is a good idea." Her phone dinged "Pizza dude's here!"

As they started eating Nat spoke with a full mouth "So how was the interview? Is he the one?"

Radar laughed "Ohmigawd, Nat. He was so, ugh, full of himself. His and Barnes heads wouldn't both fit in one room together. Kept calling me 'little lady' like he thought it was charming." She shrugged

"He was the first and it might take a bit to find a good one, then-"

Wanda shook her head "Bucky has the perfect Angel right now and you're getting along with each other. Why can't you stay?"

Radar looked at her hands sadly "And watch Barnes fuck his way thru the Northeast? I don't think I'm up for that. We're getting along because we don't speak to each other unless it's work related. That won't last if I stay."

"Radar, you know he still loves you." Wanda insisted.

Radar looked at her "I don't know any such thing. Have you seen the women he's been meeting with? They are all beautiful, slim, sexy and look like they stepped off of a runway. I don't look anything like that so obviously I'm not his type. Plus he's parading them around in front of me, made sure to tell a couple of them in hearing range, that I'm no one important. Making sure I know what I mean to him. Nothing. I'll find the right person for the job." She sighed

"Just put the movie on, I don't want to talk about this."

She hit her vape and passed it to Nat.

Nat took her hit and passed it to Wanda before speaking "We should go shopping tomorrow. The 4th is coming up and Tony will always love embarrassing Steve with over the top celebrations. He has something planned for sure."

They agreed on shopping plans, then sat back to watch the movie Wanda picked, chatting about how unrealistic the plot was and how the leads had no chemistry.

The next morning Radar and Wanda made french toast for the team and while everyone was eating Tony wandered in to get some coffee, still in yesterdays clothes.

"What smells so good?" Tony sniffed the air.

"French toast, bacon. You want some?" Radar answered.

Tony nodded and she put 2 pieces of toast on a plate with some bacon and handed it to him.

Tony sat at the table and after he had eaten a few bites of food, cleared his throat and when everyone was looking his way spoke up

"I was just thinking that it's been so nice the past couple of months, no lost or dirty gear, reports all in and on time. No flubbed missions. Interviews and meetings all handled. It's almost like we have an Angel keeping her eyes on us."

He smirked at Bucky who rolled his eyes "Besides all that, Rogers birthday is coming up so I actually already planned a party. On the 4th. We'll have a picnic with bbq, fireworks, pony rides, water slides, stupid carnival rides and games. The whole shebang."

He finished eating, nodded and stood up to wander back to his lab, mumbling.

When she woke up on the 4th, Radar drank coffee while watching the activity from her balcony. Workers setting up all of the activities and a row of carnival games, some rides, a covered, netted area with picnic tables. The glass walls for the pool room opened up to the lawn and a bandstand was built for the live band Tony hired. Red, white and blue streamers & bunting hung from every thing that didn't move.

The Guardians were there, the Marvels showed and even a few X-Men.

Thor and Loki came from New Asgard to join in the celebration, arriving after sunset, shortly before the fireworks were scheduled to start.

When they saw her, Radar was swept up in a hug from Thor while Loki waited to plant a kiss on the back of her hand before dragging her off to a wooded area.

"Loki! Where are we going? We're gonna miss the fireworks!"

Loki grinned "Trust me, love. I have something I thought you might like and it will make the little light show Stark has planned even better. I recalled you mentioned your fondness for the Cannabis plant when I saw that our ambrosia plants were being harvested."

He pulled a small bag out of the air and grinned at her

"Like our mead, this is stronger than what you're accustomed to so be careful."

Radar laughed and Bucky could hear it from where he was standing after watching her walk into the woods with Loki. He was ready to break something, thinking of her and Loki alone in the woods, when he smelled something sweet but musky and realized what they were doing. She always told him that real stoners share so he wandered to where they were and cleared his throat.

Radar was blowing out her first hit and jumped when she heard Bucky, choked and coughed then held the joint out to him, giggling.

Bucky smirked and took a deep hit, believing he would be fine because he tried reefer with her a couple of times and it never affected him. He passed the joint to Loki and it went around a couple more times before Loki put it away.

Radar was laughing at some magic trick Loki was trying to do but he kept laughing himself and forgetting the next step for his trick before giving up and sitting heavily onto a lounge chair next to her. "I'm sorry, love, but your laughter is distracting." He leaned into her like he was going to-.

Bucky pushed him aside and laughed when Loki fell over, making Loki and Radar laugh too. They calmed down and walked over to the seating area to watch the show when an alarm started blaring and all the lights turned red.

Bucky grabbed Radar "Go get my kit and meet me by the pool. Hurry!"

Radar went around the carnival area to a hidden entrance into the main building, watching as the wave of Hydra agents went through fighting Avengers and destroying everything in their path. She zoned out watching the fighting like a great action movie before remembering what she was supposed to be doing and shook it off.

She hurried to the armory, grabbed his kit and almost ran into Bucky by the pool where he had set up a sort of foxhole, with furniture and sandbags, and was barking orders to the Avengers he had been able to round up. Wanda, Vision, Bruce, Scott, Hope and Cassie.

They started picking up the kids and family members of the Avengers agents to take them to a bunker that Howard Stark had built during the cold war.

Radar and Bucky stayed in the foxhole. Bucky was shooting Hydra agents while Radar had his kit open and handed ammo and/or new guns as he depleted what he had.

It took a couple of hours but the Avengers finally prevailed with the help of the rest of the X-Men and the Fantastic Four. All the Hydra agents were loaded up into prison busses and taken to a SHIELD/SWORD holding area while the govt figured out what made them decide to mount a full attack on the Avengers compound.

Once they were cleared, the bunker was opened so the families could come back out and be escorted home to ensure everyone was safe.

Radar was helping Bucky pack his weapons up when he grinned at her, still feeling pretty lit. "Good job, Doll. We make a good team."

Radar was also still buzzed from Loki's weed so instead of bitching at him she just smiled and gave him a thumbs up.

Nat and Wanda came over to make sure Radar was ok, thanked Bucky for keeping her safe and all three ladies walked back towards the building, ready to crash.

Bucky stood and watched Radar walk away with a goofy grin on his face. Once she was out of sight he remembered something important that he should have told her, so picked up his phone and dialed her number. It rang 4 times and went to voicemail

"Hey Doll, it's your Bucky. I'm not just saying this because I'm high but you were perfect tonight. Having you by my side feels like coming home. You know I never stopped loving you."

Bucky heard a beep and dropped his phone back into his pocket.

In a communications room in a building in Manhatten, listening to his message the agent smiled, looking at their partner

"Did you hear that? He still loves her. The Winter Soldier has a weak spot. We need to get this news to the boss."

"What about the message?"

"Just delete it."

@unaxv @calwitch @buckitostan @cjand10

Chapter 4

[majorgammage]

Ominous music plays.

You’ll never guess what’s coming to Piltover.

Camera pushes in slowly on a pulsating Hexgate portal.

A new direction for the cold, hard science urging our city to greater and greater peaks of achievement.

Pan up the council tower, extreme forced perspective so it grows and grows on screen.

Experience the power of Hextech…

Snap back to the hexgate, pulsing faster, glowing brighter. Ominous music swells.

…In your own backyard.

Music turns upbeat and whimsical. Cut to a tight shot of a custodian in the public gardens, bent over away from camera. She notices the camera and stands up, wiping her cheek with a glove and smudging it with dirt. She smiles.

“I use mine outdoors. It’s perfect for getting dirty in the garden with a friend.”

An assistant hustles past with an armful of papers, and the camera follows. They walk and talk.

“I keep mine in my bag. The boss really likes to ride me hard at the drop of a hat, so I try to stay prepared.”

They enter a coffeeshop as a barista exits. The camera follows while he erects a sidewalk sign - it reads “Piltover’s favorite hole-in-the-wall! Come on in.”

“I get mine out in the morning. My partner is an early riser, so we always start our day with a hot, fresh grind.”

Sunlight flares off the shop window and the shot transitions to an even brighter hexgate thrumming fast and humming in warning.

Endorsed by the Rising Stars themselves…

Slow zoom in through an open door of the lab, Viktor working at a desk facing away. He notices the crew and turns, goggles still on, perplexed.

“What is this? Who let you in here, I told them absolutely no filming in the—“

Diligently pounding away at the Next. Big. Thing.

Cut to the forge kiln blazing away around a thick rod of steel, turning white hot. Tongs pull it out a little, then back in, then full out. Sensual jazz music backs the steady hammering sound of steel on steel. Slo-mo pan over sweating abs. Flexing back. Fist gripping a thick-handled hammer. 2/3 shot of Jayce sitting, shirtless, hammer in hand, full spread, swiping sweat off his brow and neck.

“Innovation has always been a give and take. You gave me a hard thrust into the spotlight, and I took it in stride…but Hextech has always been about the people of this city first and never the glory, whole stop. My partner and I want to remind you that Hextech isn’t about us. It’s about you. And where you want it.”

Councilwoman Medarda enters from the right and tucks his hair into a more perfect swoop. She rests her arm on his shoulder and looks at the camera.

“This next push for progress is going where Hextech has never gone before. He’s got my backing. And I’ll let you in on a little secret…”

Tight push in on just her. She raises a finger to her lips in a hushing motion.

“I’m wearing mine right now.”

Smash cut to the Hexgate exploding in a burst of light as The Hexstrap™ teleports into frame, gleaming and rotating to show off its features. A moan joins the music for emphasis. It sounds like Jayce.

The people of Piltover got behind Hextech. Now let Hextech get behind you.

Introducing The Hexstrap™, Piltover’s first and only publicly-available wearable to feature revolutionary technology.

Harness the power of Hextech to deliver 6 intense power settings sure to have you - and your partner - seeing stars.

Upgrade to the Hexstrap Pro and experience military-grade efficiency. With full exoskeletal augmentation and ergonomic comfort straps, you can put Hextech where you want it with ease - blow their back out, not yours.

The Hexstrap™.

You can’t spell Progress without peg. And you can’t drive them into the future without The Hexstrap™.

Find it at your local pleasure purveyor. Hextoys LTD is a privately-owned company existing separately from any state-sponsored initiatives. Views expressed here may not reflect the opinions of any official governmental bodies or institutes. For more information, visit our Bridgeside location, or consult with our distributors in Zaun for a thorough demonstration.

[i-magines]

Wildest Dreams: Chapter 4

Pedro Pascal x fem!Reader

CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2 | CHAPTER 3 | CHAPTER 5 | CHAPTER 6 | CHAPTER 7 | CHAPTER 8 | CHAPTER 9 | CHAPTER 10

synopsis: You’re an assistant director in an indie movie set and fate makes sure you keep crossing paths with a certain Chilean actor.  

disclaimer: This is my first Pedro Pascal’s fictional work + the first fanfic I write in English, as it isn’t my first language. Unfortunately, I do not own Pedro and this is all a product of my imagination.

rating: M (keep scrolling if your under 18 please)

warnings: age gap, mature content, fem!reader, eventual drinking and drugs, a little smut but nothing crazy (yet), a bit slow burn but not really.  

a/n: i’m really happy with all the comments i got on the past chapters!!! just don’t know how to answer them with this account and not my personal one :/ should they fuck already or nah? let me know

word count: 1,851

After your last encounter, Pedro was being extremely weird around you. If you could even say that, since it was very clear that he was also avoiding you. This has been going on for about 2 weeks now and it made you feel super insecure. You didn’t get why he was behaving like this. Did he regret the little moment you had in the tub? Did you do something that made him change his mind? You felt confused and, being honest, a little abandoned.

In the mornings, you went straight to the set and, at the end of it, you ran back to your cabin. You felt very lonely without his company and even though you had a crush on him, your friendship was what you’ve been missing the most. The stories, the laughs, the looks between scenes. When you had to interact because of work, he avoided your eyes and was very quiet around you. For the past couple of weeks, you didn’t do much other than hang out with Flo on the only day off you had — and even that was odd, because Pedro left a few minutes after you got to Flo’s cabin. All of this was consuming you and making you feel terrible.

You were off duty when the producer called you. They were working on positioning the lights and rehearsing, but the extra actress who was supposed to be in the scene didn’t show up. Being a budget movie being shot in the middle of nowhere in Germany, the producers had to figure it out with what they had in hand. Trying to keep the situation only between the producing and directing teams, as the scene called for a more intimate approach, they asked you to be her stunt. You knew what scene it was and you got chills thinking about it, as you walked towards the cabin they were in.

Waiting for you were the director, the cinematographer, Flo and Pedro. The only form of illumination in the room were candles strategically positioned for the shooting. The director approached you. Not much time for the ceremony, Flo put your hair down and applied some makeup on your face.

“I’m gonna need you to strip down, girl friend”, she let you know, a bit embarrassed.

You already knew about that, so you had already prepared your mind to do it. You took your clothes off, keeping on only some nude panties. Flo added some makeup on your body as well, and left the room.

“Okay, let’s roll then.”

You and Pedro laid down on the bed together. He was still wearing his clothes, only some shirt buttons opened. He was on top of you, but didn’t dare to look at your eyes. It felt like forever for them to make sure about lights and angles.

“As you know, this scene isn’t about love”, the director started. “It’s about fucking. That’s all I have to say. Action!”

You both didn’t move.

“I said, action!” He shouted.

Your body felt tense underneath his and it all felt kind of mechanical, as he put his hands on your face and started to come closer to you. Well, this is how acting is supposed to be, you thought, as you put your hands on his hair, trying to make sure you were following the director's briefing. He suddenly stopped.

“Sorry, Dave”, he said, completely ignoring you under him. “I don’t think I’m feeling it with her, she is too young, and I feel like this whole scene doesn’t add up to the movie itself.”

“Excuse me?” The director looked confused and slightly offended.

“I’m not doing it”, Pedro simply said. Dave looked infuriated. “I know I have a veto power on the contract and I’m using it.”

 “That’s why I don’t work with Hollywood stars like yourself”, he said after breathing in and out very slowly. “I just wanna point out what incredible ironic is your problem with her age, giving that I’ve lost track of how many times it got to me that you two have been suspiciously close with each other.”

You saw in Pedro’s eyes the same anger as the day you went clubbing. The producer came back into the room, after hearing the voices a little louder going on inside.

“I think it’s better if we all calm down”, she said. “Look, this scene has been controversial since day one, even the studio heads thought so. Let’s leave on hold now and we can have a meeting later this week—”

“No, Donna”, Dave interrupted her. “I’m doing it with or without him.”

“Just to make myself clear, neither is she doing anything”, Pedro said pointing towards you with his head. “I’m vetoing her as well. Go get dressed, Y/N. Now.”

You did as he told.

“This situation is ridiculous at this point”, Donna looked nervous and tired. The two of them had been fighting for days over every single thing on the set. “I will take this matter to the studio, no shooting tomorrow. Everybody out of my sight."

You left the room first and you had to practically run, because it was pouring rain. After all that, you weren’t even sure you still had a job anymore and you just felt so fragile. You heard steps behind you, but you didn’t stop. Pedro called your name. He got to you once you had to stop to unlock your cabin door.

“Can we talk, baby girl?” His words made you slowly turn to face him. You both already wet from the rain.

“Don’t you fucking dare to baby girl me, you fucking asshole”, you didn’t raise your voice, but he could see the hurt in your words.

“Y/N, I couldn’t do it— this whole situation”, he tried to defend himself.

“Fuck you Pedro. Fuck you a million times”, you were a bit louder now. “Did it cross you pretty little mind that I need this fucking job? That I need people to fucking like me? Get off your ass and look around, man.”

“You are no actress, especially for a scene like that”, he said, raising his voice too.

“Why do you care? You don’t even recognize my existence anymore”, you felt like crying.

“That’s how much I care!” He ran his hand through his hair. “Do you have any idea how hard it has been for me since I met you? Being around you and saying no to every single one of my instincts demanding me to fucking make you mine? Since day one, Y/N. Since I saw you in that goddamn bathtub.”

“Who the hell asked you to do that?” You stared at his brown eyes.

“You didn’t even want people to know we were friends”, he did his best to not sound like he was blaming you. “I never know what to do around you and you don’t make my life easier with all those fucking mixed signs.”

“I fucking told you!” You come off louder than you meant. You take a tone down as you repeat yourself, “I fucking told you.”

He rubbed his eyes. “Can we go inside, please?”

You did as he asked and got you both towels. He sat on the corner of your bed.

“Look, sweetheart”, he began. You were still standing up, looking at him. “This whole thing…  The age gap, it just— it won’t work out in the long run. After what happened, I truly felt bad with myself, as if I was taking advantage of you.”

“Wow, hold on a minute”, you shake your head. “Sure you are like, over 20 years older than me, I get that. But who the fuck was talking ‘bout forever? And most importantly, Pedro, I thought we fucking were friends! Why didn’t we talk about it?”

“I’m sorry—"

“I’m not done”, you interrupted him. “I’m no kid. I’m a fully grown woman who knows what she wants and I expected that after our last conversation you already knew what that was.”

You came closer to him.

“You are not manipulating me, Pedro”, you said as you got on your knees in front of him. “I want this, I want you. I fucking need you so badly.”

Your words gave him chills. You both knew that what you were craving would have a lot of implications for both of you.

“Are you sure?” He asked, his eyes sparking. “Are you sober?”

"Unfortunately, I am”, you promised. “Please, don’t make me beg.”

You didn’t have to.

Pedro finally pulled you closer for a warm, passionate kiss. He held your neck with one hand, using the other one to pet your cheek. You made sure to reciprocate the intensity, getting your tongues to touch, making the kiss deeper. Your stomach felt like it was upside down, butterflies all over the place.

"Fuck, sweetheart", he growled in the middle of the kiss, you got goosebumps all over your body. He got you up and made you sit on his lap, so his hands could run more freely through your body. "You're so fucking beautiful, you know that?"

The thought of Pedro thinking you were beautiful made you blush. He had mentioned it a couple times before, when you're hanging out together, but in a more subtle way. You let your hands wander through his neck and arms, finally being able to touch him as you’ve been wanting since you two met. A moan escaped your lips and that was the sign Pedro was waiting to push you down to the bed, getting on top of you. You loved the feeling of this warm body on yours and you could feel the heat from between your legs increasing.

All you could think about is how you wanted him all over you, touching every single possible part of your body. His smell felt inebriating, as if he was the only thing you senses could process at this moment. Time stopped making any sense and you both pulled away after a while, gasping for air. He let his body fall down next to yours and you laid on your side, turned to face each other.

"You're a good kisser", he says, switching his look from your lips to your eyes.

"You're not bad yourself", you both giggled. He let his hand rest on your waist, putting you a little closer, saying nothing for a while. "What are you thinking about?"

"Just— I guess I’m worried about you”, he said, avoiding looking in your eyes now. “Keep thinking about what Dave said, people gossiping about us.”

“Usually I do my best to not listen to what people say,” you started. “But I guess I’ve been afraid of running the career I barely started.”

“I get that and I’m sorry I can’t protect you from it, sweetheart.”, he touched your cheek with his thumb. “We’ll just keep it between ourselves.”

CHAPTER 5 AVALIABLE NOW

TAGLIST:  @kyuupidwrites @omg-its-typical-aesthetics-fan​ @vivibabiez @ivyohmy @sebastianstansimp @tubble-wubble @28cnn @3zae-zae3 @technicallysassyfox @bellatrixyoass @mandolover86​​ @eliffluisa @jbcalway​ (does anybody know why i can’t tag some people?)​

[altocat]

fuck it, sephesis for all 15 questions

😈😈😈OKAY. LET'S DO THIS.

1. Which one is the better cook

They're both equally mediocre. Genesis is better with spices. Sephiroth is better at following directions.

2. What their love letters look like

Genesis,

I require your assistance in Room 108B tonight. The matter is urgent. I have verified your keycard. Please do not be late.

Cordially,

Sephiroth, Soldier First-Class

Seph,

HAHA Fuck you I knew you'd be the one to blink first. If you wanted a bit of action, I'd suggest someplace MORE romantic would be preferable.

Also why are you still signing your name like that? You're such a tool. Goddess, I fucking hate you.

-Gen

PS: Thanks for spotting me earlier, darling. Dinner is on me tonight. I found a new place I think you'll like. See you soon XOXOXOXO❤️

3. Which one outlives the other, and how they cope

Both of them are functionally immortal thanks to the Jenova cells. But both will have to face the future being completely separated from each other. Genesis copes by shaping up into the hero he was meant to be. Sephiroth...simply no longer remembers Genesis at all.

4.What they do on date night

Wander around the city long after everyone else has gone to bed. Genesis rambles on and on about Loveless or some petty drama he was involved in. Sephiroth simply watches him, quietly smitten.

5. How many kids they’ll have

Gen would like one or two eventually. He's very convinced he can coax Sephiroth into adopting.

6. How they decorated their bedroom

Gen's side of the room is covered with fancy art, scented candles, and a MONSTER of a bookshelf. Seph's side of the room is more nondescript, simply neat and organized, save for one or two of Gen's socks strewn carelessly about here and there.

7 Which one is the worse driver

Genesis. AKA Captain Roadrage.

8. What they argue about

EVERYTHING (they enjoy it)

9. Which one swears more

Genesis. Sephiroth never swears unless it's super serious.

10. What TV shows they watch together, and which ones they hide from the other

Gen has turned Sephiroth on to soap opera and reality television. Sephiroth PRETENDS to loathe them. Keyword being "pretends".

Genesis hides the fact that he also loves nature documentaries, despite the fact that Sephiroth loves nature documentaries.

11. What their first impression was of each other

Genesis: "This is the greatest day of my life he's real he's here Angeal pinch me I'm going to die I'm going to have a heart attack oh my god he looked at me I'm going to marry him my hero my idol my everything ASERDTFHYTREWRTHGREHGFDSDF ANGEAL PINCH ME"

Sephiroth: "He keeps staring at me. I don't think he likes me."

12. What they do for their anniversary

Anniversary spar!

13. Which makes a bigger deal of birthdays

Probably Genesis. Though Sephiroth honestly doesn't even know his own birthday. Really, Gen just wants an excuse to party.

14. What nicknames they call each other

"Pet", "Beloved", "Treasure", for Sephiroth to Genesis.

"Darling", "Dear", "Precious", and "ASSHOLE" for Genesis to Sephiroth

15. What they would change about each other

Sephiroth would rather not hear about Loveless ever again.

Genesis would occasionally like to punch Sephiroth in that smirking smugfuck face.

(Not a thing!)

[ms-m-astrologer]

Transiting Mars retrogrades back into Cancer

Timeline (current events in bold)

Friday, October 4, 2024, 04:40 UTC - transiting Mars enters pre-retrograde shadow, 17°01’ Cancer

Monday, November 4, 04:10 UTC - transiting Mars enters Leo

Friday, December 6, 23:33 UTC - transiting Mars stations retrograde, 6°10’ Leo

Monday, January 6, 2025, 20:45 UTC - transiting Mars retrogrades back into Cancer

Monday, February 24, 02:00 UTC - transiting Mars stations direct, 17°01’ Cancer

Friday, April 18, 04:22 UTC - transiting Mars re-enters Leo

Friday, May 2, 2025, 06:06 UTC - transiting Mars exits post-retrograde shadow, 6°10’ Leo

*+=*+=*+=*+=*+=

In his series of books about the astrological elements (fire, earth, air, water), Steven Forrest writes frequently of wishing to shift the basic definition of the planet Mars from “The Warrior,” to “The Protector.” And now is a perfect time to assist with fine-tuning Mars, making him more effective (and frankly palatable): not only is Mars is backing up into the sign Cancer, the sign of the Mother; but the US just had an election driven in part by outdated and toxic notions of masculinity.

Mars in “traditional” western astrology is said to be in its fall in Cancer: a place it doesn’t like and doesn’t understand, where it’s uncomfortable. I would have to agree that - in western civilization* at least - the quiet, sensitive virtues of Cancer are not particularly valued by the Warrior types.

(* Must always remember: when asked, “What do you think of western civilization?” Gandhi replied, “I think it would be a good idea.”)

But the Protector types? Oh, absolutely! They “get” Cancer. “Mama Bear” energy abounds. We don’t start any unnecessary fights, but we don’t back down, either. We create and maintain a safe place for nurturing and healing. We defend our borders, physical and emotional, allowing no one to harm us or our loved ones. We do our thing, and we help our loved ones do their things. There’s no need for the domination and control of “power-over-others” (as Starhawk defined it in Truth or Dare); we choose instead “power-from-within,” personal and spiritual control and integrity, moving always toward “power-with,” working alongside others.

That’s a very tall order, and this Gemini is not convinced we can pull it off over the next 50 days. We can start, though.

Give a day or so on either side of these aspects, and more as we move into February. There are a lot of watery trines and sesquiquads, showing the need to work on strengthening boundaries.

Monday, January 6 - Tuesday, January 7:

Mars Rx/Cancer (29°58’) sesquiquad Saturn/Pisces (14°58’)

Mars Rx/Cancer inconjunct Mercury/Sagittarius, 29°24’

A couple of “intermediate” aspects to get us off to an uneasy start. We’re trying to get something off the ground, but the timing is bad and the signals are mixed.

Sunday, January 12 - Wednesday, January 15:

Mars Rx/Cancer trine Neptune/Pisces, 27°30’

Mars Rx/Cancer (27°03’) semi-square Jupiter Rx/Gemini (12°03’)

Mars Rx/Cancer (26°48’) sesquiquad Venus/Pisces (11°48’)

Mars Rx/Cancer opposite Sun/Capricorn, 26°13’

There’s a Full Moon on January 13, with the Moon conjunct Mars. Being in a crowd may not be the best idea, with these impressionable aspects. Concentrate on carving out that safe place for yourself and your loved ones.

Monday, January 20 - Mars Rx/Cancer square Eris/Aries, 24°24’. On the DonVict’s inauguration day, how fitting. This is another day to avoid crowds, with a potential for acting out our worst tendencies.

Thursday, January 23 - Sunday, January 26:

Mars Rx/Cancer sextile Uranus Rx/Taurus, 23°17’

Mars Rx/Cancer opposite Mercury/Capricorn, 23°12’

Mars Rx/Cancer trine Venus/Pisces, 22°25’

Mars Rx/Cancer opposite Pallas/Capricorn, 22°12’

Here is where we may finally begin to see some progress made. The oppositions give us wise perspective, the sextile to Uranus gives us the opportunity to safely do our own thing, and the trine from Venus makes everyone cooperative.

Thursday, January 30 - Sunday, February 9:

Mars Rx/Cancer inconjunct Ceres/Aquarius, 20°41’

Mars Rx/Cancer square Chiron/Aries, 19°36’

Mars Rx/Cancer inconjunct Sun/Aquarius, 18°49’

Mars Rx/Cancer inconjunct Mercury/Aquarius, 18°39’

Mars Rx/Cancer trine Saturn/Pisces, 18°23’

A lot of discomfort to start with, but the promise of the Saturn trine to bless us when we do the work. Aquarius is very contrary, and can push Mars into being arbitrary just for the sake of being arbitrary - while the Mars-Chiron square tells us to face our wounds bravely. Saturn helps us to be patient and brave through the process.

Saturday, February 15 - Sunday, February 23:

Mars Rx/Cancer (17°27’) sesquiquad Mercury/Pisces (2°27’)

Mars Rx/Cancer (17°06’) sesquiquad Sun/Pisces (2°06’)

Mars Rx/Cancer trine Mercury/Pisces, 17°01’

Sesquiquads are often about the timing being wrong. With all this water, something doesn’t feel right. We have a few days to be patient and keep working. Then there’s the Mercury trine, maturing a mere nine hours before Mars’ direct station: we get it figured out.

[midwestmade29]

Cuffed 😏

This was a spicy request that I just couldn't turn down 😁 I hope I did it justice and turned it into something you will enjoy!

Disclaimers: Oral sex, unprotected sex, restrained with handcuffs, cursing, mention of injury. Read at your own discretion 🙃

Word count: 1.5k

Divider by: Me 🙂

GIF is not mine

Side note: Yes, I know about the reports on Hangman's ankle. I'm not going to spoil anything for anyone in regards to it, but I'm aware that my story may or may not follow what's going on in the "real world." We just out here having fun 🤷🏻‍♀️🙂

You try something new to help distract your cowboy from his thoughts…

Last night, Adam had a big 6-man tag match that was pretty eventful to say the least! Everything was going well until the end, when he rolled his ankle after Samoa Joe tried to do a muscle buster on him. While you watched the events unfold on the monitor backstage, your heart almost stopped when Adam slid out of the ring and onto the floor. He was wincing in pain and urging the cameraman not to show him in his current state.

The look on his face when he walked off limping and needing the assistance of Doc Sampson was very concerning! After being examined in medical, it was determined that he had a mid-grade ankle sprain and was sent home with specific instructions from Doc to ice it and stay off it as much as possible for a few days.

The next day you and Adam flew home, his ankle still sore and swollen. You did your best to ensure that he was following the doctor’s orders, but he was starting to get restless. You were sitting next to him on the couch catching up on the tv shows you missed while you were gone, when you noticed his mind was somewhere else. You scooted closer to him, placing your head on his shoulder.

“Just a few more minutes with the ice, and then you need to keep it elevated. Can I get you anything?”

Adam only sighed and shook his head “no,” prompting you to get to the bottom of his somber mood.

“What’s wrong, baby? What’s on your mind?” “I’m just frustrated. This injury couldn’t have happened at a worse time, you know? The PPV isn’t that far away, and I can’t miss it,” he explained while running his fingers through his hair. “I just hope I’m good to go by then,”

You were going to offer some words of comfort, but Adam stood up and started to walk away.

“Where are you going?” your voice was laced with concern.

“I know I’m supposed to sit, but I just can’t. I’m going to take a shower.”

You had high hopes that the hot water would offer Adam some relief from his thoughts, but when you walked into the bedroom you were sadly mistaken. He was leaning up against the headboard with his towel still wrapped around his waist, mindlessly scrolling through his phone.

“Hey, feel any better?” you whispered in his direction.

Adam tossed his phone onto the bed and sighed.

“Not really. I wish there was a way I could shut my brain off,”

You were walking towards him, lost in your own thoughts about how you could cheer your cowboy up when something silver and shiny caught your eye on the dresser. A mischievous smile crept across your face as you picked up 2 metal objects and tossed them on the bed in Adam’s direction.

“What’s this?” he asked while reaching towards the objects. “Handcuffs? What are these even from?” Instead of taking a seat next to him on the bed, you straddled his lap, causing his towel to shift underneath you. You leaned forward and wrapped your arms around his neck and spoke softly.

“Well, they were a gift for a bachelorette party I went to last week, but I forgot to put them in the gift bag. I was going to return them, but now I have a better idea,”

Your words made Adam’s eyebrows raise in surprise and his lips to part in curiosity.

“I see. So, what’s your idea then?”

You brought your lips next to his ear and spoke low and slow, “Let me handcuff you. I’ll take care of you and help you relax. No touching, no thinking. Only feeling,”

A quick conversation and some ground rules later, Adam surprised you when he agreed to let you handcuff him! He needed the distraction from his injury, and you wanted to provide exactly that for him.

“Get comfy and raise your arms,” you instructed.

With 2 clicks, Adam’s hands and wrists were securely bound to the bedframe. You couldn’t help but chuckle when he tugged on the handcuffs and they rattled against the metal frame.

“Are you ready, baby? Just sit back and let me give you a show,"

With a peck on his lips, you backed up from him and he watched your every move. You pulled your shirt up your torso and over your head before tossing it on the floor, placing your hands under the waistband of your pants and sliding them down your legs. When your breasts sprung free from your bra, you could’ve sworn you heard Adam curse under his breath!

Once your panties joined the rest of your clothes on the floor, you stood at the end of the bed causing Adam to forget momentarily that he was restrained until the clank and clang reminded him.

“Be good for me and I’ll let you go. If not, I guess you won’t be laying a finger on me tonight...”

You positioned yourself in between Adam’s thighs, undoing the twist he had on his towel that was keeping it securely in place. His hard length was set free when you pulled the towel away, both of you were more than ready for you to dive in. He sucked in a sharp breath when your lips made contact with his tip, planting kisses all around it.

You drug your tongue up the vein, making Adam squirm and strain against the handcuffs. You took every inch of him inside your mouth and began working your magic. His pants and soft moans filled the bedroom, encouraging you to continue exactly what you were doing!

“Fuck, Y/N! That pretty little mouth of yours, taking me so well! If you don’t stop, I’m going to cum down your throat!” You had no intention to stop or slow your pace, even when Adam warned you one last time. His body shuddered against you when he came, the handcuffs forcefully clashing against the headboard. He was a panting mess as he tried to catch his breath, making you smile as you wiped the corners of your mouth!

“Are you going to release me?” Adam asked breathlessly.

You maneuvered your way up the bed and straddled the cowboy once again, biting and kissing his neck while murmuring against it.

“Release you? I don’t think so! At least, not right now baby. I’m not done having my way with you just yet,”

It didn’t take long for Adam to harden under you while you kissed him and spoke filth into his ears. You positioned your entrance on top of his length and began lowering yourself down on him. You groaned into the air with every inch you took inside of you. His cock stretched you in the best way, filling you completely when you rocked yourself against it.

“Shit! You feel s-s-so good, Y/N! Yes, just like that baby,” Adam encouraged.

Between the sound of your bodies connecting, the cursing and moans, and the sound of metal scraping against metal, there was no denying that the two of you were enjoying yourselves! The pressure deep inside you continued to build, just begging to be released with each rock of your hips.

“I’m so close Adam! So, fucking close!” you cried out.

He began thrusting himself inside of you, hitting new spots that drove you wild! You could tell that he was losing himself in pure ecstasy too when he begged you to set his hands free.

“Undo the handcuffs, Y/N! Please, I…fuck! I need to touch you!” There wasn’t a lot of time to spare as you felt your orgasm getting closer and closer, so you gave the handcuffs your best try when you attempted to undo them! Unfortunately, the “easy release lever” wasn’t so easy to use after all!

“Adam, I-I can’t get it! I can’t undo them!” you said in a pleasure filled panic.

Your cowboy wasn’t about to let anything hold him back from touching you, so he pulled and tugged the handcuffs with incredible force, causing the little chain links to bend and break!

“Oh my God!” you gasped when you saw one broken handcuff on each of his wrists.

His hands were now gripping your hips tightly and the dangling metal lightly scraped against you as your orgasms ripped through each of you! You collapsed onto his chest from the intensity of it, and he wrapped his arms around you. You moaned and hummed against his bare chest as you welcomed each wave of pleasure that continued to crash over you.

Once you were steady, you removed yourself from him and rolled over onto your side of the bed and began to giggle at the mess you had made of Adam.

“I cannot believe you broke the handcuffs!” you playfully scolded. “How are your wrists? Are they okay?”

It took a few seconds for him to respond since he was still coming down from his high, but what he said only caused you to laugh more.

“My wrists are fine, baby. Obviously, the handcuffs are not, and I can’t guarantee the headboard is either. But what I can guarantee is we will be purchasing new ones so I can use them on you next…”

[sonkitty]

The Sideburns Scheme Post #98

(For reference: The Sideburns Scheme)

Crowley, Good Omens 2, Episode 6, Every Day, go

...

Sideburns Check

The sideburns are long, specifically longest-length.

...

Brighter Red Streak Check

The more saturated red streak of hair can be found.

...

Hairstyle Changes

The curve of the top hair is not as obvious with its tilt to the right. The extra split that was in his hair at the top is gone. With the lighting, the top hair on Crowley's right looks darker. His hair doesn't look as smooth, possibly to indicate his underlying stress at having to let Aziraphale go with the Metatron.

...

Earthly Objects

(For reference: Earthly Objects | Bookend Buddies - Crowley and Muriel (Part 2) )

Crowley ends up touching a pillar again.

The main earthly object touch otherwise is that Crowley throws a book at Muriel. The book in question is The Crow Road.

The dialogue includes names.

Muriel has a question about being able to take a book with them and says the number, "one".

...

Time to pay attention to the pockets.

If the Tied Hands retie, most of it is done with Crowley getting up from the chair. The lighting makes it hard to be sure if a clasp strikes a lapel edge. The watch is visible. The left thumb joint aligns with a jacket edge as he gets up though it's a little blurry. It also lines up over the jacket edge more clearly. Crowley creates pockets with his body.

He doesn't seem to have an extended index finger, but its absence might be handled by his back being visible and/or what Muriel ends up doing during the scene.

For most of the scene, Muriel's pocket chain is visible. The two times it isn't visible, Muriel has an extended index finger. The first such instance is when Muriel says they can explore the bookshop. The second such instance is Muriel touching the book Crowley just threw at them.

The Belt Head is visible when Crowley gets up form the chair.

After Aziraphale and the Metatron exit, the Belt Head is off screen and stays off screen. The clasps and tassels that are the thumb joints and thumbs of the Tied Hands also go and stay off screen.

After Crowley is touching the pillar, his tie strands stay aligned next to each other but make sure to spread once Crowley moves to throw the book at Muriel.

...

Crowley might receive Overhead Lights when three appear to his left while touching a pillar. Since there are three, one might be because of Muriel's assistance in the scene.

...

Story Commentary

While Muriel at first indicates they plan on staying because the Metatron told them to wait, Crowley does eventually kick Muriel out of the bookshop.

I theorize that Crowley and Muriel have a deep trust in each other, possibly even a friendship or a mentor and student type relationship. Because of that, I like to think that when Crowley says Muriel will like the book he throws, he means it. He knows the book and Muriel well enough for the recommendation to be genuine.

Since the book thrown has characters engage in significant non-verbal interaction, according to other sources I've read on Tumblr, him choosing the book could also be Crowley trusting and informing Muriel about how he communicates with Aziraphale.

I think it's sweet that Muriel considers both Aziraphale and Crowley friends who they would like to spend time with for breakfast.

...

Crowley has the longest-length sideburns, if they weren't already longest-length. He is the one who ends up directing Muriel out, but he allows Muriel to take a book with them before they leave.

This scene is one of the clues that the sideburns have that potential rank meaning with angels.

...

Maggie and Nina

Neither Maggie nor Nina show any interest in talking to "them" until after the Metatron has ordered his coffee.

Given what we see unfold for the rest of the episode, that suggests Maggie and Nina either had a conversation with the Metatron, or he has some power of influence just being in their presence, like he seemed to have with Crowley resurrecting Mr. Brown.

Nina eventually concedes, and not only does she concede, she willingly drops everything she is doing at that exact instant to leave the coffee shop so that she and Maggie can supposedly talk to "them."

The whole thing irks me.

But at least the scene helped me with my Earthly Objects play. It's part of how I figured out talking in a foreign language is an earthly object touch, and numbers are dialogue points.

...

That's it for this post. Sometimes I edit my posts, FYI.

...

Main post:

The Sideburns Scheme

[markrosewater]

Happy birthday! Can we get some birthday trivia about you on your birthday?

Sure. I turn 56 today, so here’s fifty-six things you may or may not know about me.

1) I never lost a baby tooth. Every one had to be extracted.

2) I was once a contestant on Trivial Pursuit: The Game Show with Wink Martindale. I answered the most questions correct, but didn’t win.

3) I once had scarlet fever (the thing the boy gets in the Velveteen Rabbit).

4) I’ve been told by doctors I have very weird blood.

5) I self taught myself to juggle.

6) I was a magician when I was a kid with the stage name The Wiz Kid. I mostly performed for kids parties.

7) I was once a freelance greeting card writer. My favorite (that didn’t get printed) showed a jug of maple syrup tipped on its side making a puddle of syrup. In the syrup was a top hat. A hand is pulling a can of green paint with a shamrock out of the hat. You open up the card and it says Sappy Paint Hat Tricks Day. It’s a triple Spoonerism.

8) Sara Gilbert (of “Roseanne” fame) and I once went out for lunch. (It wasn’t a date or anything.)

9) I broke my collarbone doing a prat fall off a stage.

10) I once pet a cheetah. In South Africa. My face from the picture of me doing that was used as my “Making Magic” photo for years.

11) I once made a root beer float for Keanu Reeves. It was at a play I was volunteering for.

12) I once get trapped inside Fred Astaire’s Estate. This factoid is oddly on my Wikipedia page.

13) Starting during the pandemic, my family began fostering animals. So far, we fostered four dogs, six cats, and two Guinea pigs.

14) In college, I wrote and directed two plays, started an improvisation troupe, and a writing workshop.

15) I still have all my wisdom teeth.

16) I have visited every continent except Antarctica for Magic.

17) I once asked Clint Eastwood for directions, not realizing who it was until he started talking. I was lost on the Warner Brothers lot.

18) My first job in Hollywood resulted from me taking part in someone else’s interview. I snuck on the lot, and ended walking into a room where they asked “Are you here for the production assistant interview?”, and I said, “Yes.”

19) I once had a disease the doctors couldn’t identify. They called it Mark’s Disease.

20) I was born in Mississippi. My dad was in the Air Force at the time.

21) I asked out seven woman to my senior prom who all turned me down. I ended up going with a friend who also couldn’t get a date.

22) I took six years of Spanish.

23) Most of my family’s vacations growing up were ski vacations, so I’m a decent skier.

24) I once delivered a pizza to Richard Gere. It was as a production assistant, not a pizza delivery person.

25) I once broke into an actor’s apartment building to deliver a script. It was so late, they were asleep and didn’t hear the buzzing of the door bell.

26) I once drove six hours (three in each direction) to pick up one five-stick package of Blackjack gum as a runner (production assistant).

27) Dennis Miller once thought I was a crazy man. I was sent to get him from the parking lot for a shoot and he thought I was stalking him.

28) I have over two hundred tee-shirts. They are organized by color.

29) I was supposed to pitch to “The Simpsons”, but it got cancelled when I got hired in the “Roseanne” staff.

30) I pitched multiple times to “Star Trek: The Next Generation”, but never sold a script. The closest I got was a pitch about Data malfunctioning.

31) I once ate crocodile. In Australia.

32) I played the Tinman in fifth grade in a production of “The Wizard of the Oz”. I was so hot, my silver make-up had to be reapplied halfway through as I sweated it off.

33) My mother turned down being on “Oprah” to come to my college graduation.

34) My parents are both retired. My dad was a dentist and my mom a psychologist. I used to joke I had a “paradox”.

35) Every birthday since I was 9, I’ve celebrated my birthday with crab legs.

36) Since I was in grade school, every Valentine’s Day, I hand out candy hearts, and every Halloween, I hand out mellowcreme pumpkins (basically pumpkin shaped candy corns).

37) My tee-shirts every week are themed. Some themes are pretty obvious, but they often get tricky. R&D likes figuring out the theme.

38) I got a BS in Communications (no, really) from Boston University’s College of Communications.

39) I collect superhero Minimates (they look Lego-ish). I have somewhere around two thousand. They are displayed in a number of cabinets built by my dad.

40) My podcast was inspired by a talk by Kevin Smith (at San Diego Comic-Con) where he said anyone could make a podcast.

41) I have attended over twenty-five San Diego Comic-Cons.

42) I am related to Lorne Green of “Bonanza” fame.

43) My dad’s family came from Germany and my mom’s from Russia. In Germany, my family’s name was Rosenvasser, but it was changed to Rosewater when they came to the U.S.

44) There are so few Rosewaters in the United States, that if you meet a Rosewater odds are I’m related to them.

45) I have lived in five states (Mississippi, Ohio, Massachusetts, California, and Washington, in that order).

46) I have visited over thirty states for Magic.

47) I once met Jim Henson when I worked on a clip show that Kermit was on. The question I asked him was if Ernie and Bert were named after the characters from “It’s a Wonderful Life”. He said not consciously. Jim Henson is one of my idols and I feel so blessed to have met him. He died a few months later.

48) I met Stan Lee at Hascon. He is another of my idols that I feel so lucky to have met.

49) On “Roseanne”, I worked with Amy Sherman-Palladino (just Amy Sherman back then) and Chuck Lorre. She made “Gilmore Girls” and “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”. He made “Big Bang Theory” and “Two and a Half Men”. Amy was super sweet and we got along well. I don’t think Chuck liked me.

50) I am a super picky eater. For example, except for apples, I don’t eat fruit. I hate bananas with a passion.

51) I have been a game player since very young. My dad loves games and introduced them to me early in life.

52) I get the writing bug from my mom.

53) I used to collect lint in a giant jar. When I got married, Lora made me get rid of it. It was an impressive amount of lint.

54) I have a bad tendency to burn myself a lot. My family loves to make fun of it.

55) I own over fifty flannels. My favorites are from Japan because they are more colorful with their flannels. Normally I wear a large, but in Japanese sizes, I’m an extra large.

56) My favorite number is 254. I chose it when I was little.

[rorywritesjunk]

There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin

Crocodile brings on a former assistant to manage Buggy and his workload. Buggy realizes he likes it when Taron praises him for the littlest things.

Rating: PG-13 to start. Chapters will be rated depending on content. Warning: Slow burn. AFAB nonbinary character. Buggy is touch starved and a virgin who thrives on praise. He's also a bit of a mess because he's thinking he's going to finally be killed by Crocodile. Set with the Cross Guild but won't be a poly fic (as much as I love that unf). However, mentions of past/somewhat present TaronxCrocodile stuff. Also Buggy is bratty, whining, a little pathetic. He doesn't want to do anything. Word Count: 1.8k A/N: My self indulgent submissive Buggy fic. This came from another fic I wrote for another fandom that I never posted but it was pure self indulgent. I decided to do it with the clown and change it up. Originally thought of making this a dom!Buggy fic but after a poll and how I started writing it, I decided to stick with sub!Buggy.

Title comes from "Take Me To Church" by Hozier.

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6 + Chapter 7

Chapter 1

Taron stood in front of the entrance to the large circus tent. This was where they were instructed to go after being informed of their new job from their former employer who sought them out. Sir Crocodile appreciated how Taron kept things in line with his casino, managing schedules, appointments, and other things he was too busy to deal with at the time. After several meetings between Mihawk and Buggy, where he saw the latter was refusing to do his share of paperwork, forgot about meetings or showed up late, and every other little thing that came with this role, Crocodile made the decision for Buggy in getting him an assistant.

With his connections, Crocodile made contact with his former assistant, requesting their presence on the island for a new job, which Taron was delighted to have. They enjoyed their time working with him before and were pleased they had the opportunity again, but when they arrived with their bag in hand, ready to work with Crocodile again, they were confused when they were instructed on where they needed to go.

Once they arrived at the tent, standing in front of it as they wondered if they could just return to their old job, they decided to take the challenge. Crocodile said this individual was difficult, that he mismanaged paperwork, missed important meetings, the likes, and that Taron was brought in to put Buggy on the right track. 

They survived working with Crocodile so there was no doubt they could survive this Buggy the Clown. 

Crocodile gave Taron instructions on what was needed as well as permission to enter Buggy’s tent to find him. With a flyer in their hand they knew who to look for: a clown with blue hair and a red nose. Shouldn't be too hard. So they entered the tent, noticing this was an actual circus with a lion, performers, everything, but no Buggy in sight. 

They went looking, ignoring the stares, whispers, and pointing in their direction as they went to find his room. They were told he was lazy, that he may be still in bed, so as they walked around, they found what they figured to be his room, another area in the massive tent with walls and curtains for a door. Not knowing how to properly knock, they let themselves in.

The bed in the middle was fairly large, though smaller than Crocodile’s. The lump on one side of the bed had to be Buggy, so Taron set their bag down and went over to it, giving him a shake.

“Captain Buggy?”

Nothing, he kept snoring. Taron gave him a few more shakes, increasing the force each time. When that didn't work, they yanked the blanket off only to throw it back on.

“What kind of pirate sleeps naked?” They muttered before giving the mattress a kick and shouting, “Captain Buggy, the Marines are here, wake up!”

That seemed to do it. He jumped up, blankets falling off and exposing himself as he stood up on the bed, eyes wide with fear as he turned his head frantically for the threat. “Where?!”

Taron pushed their glasses back up their face before putting their hands on their hips, looking up at him. Buggy blinked sleepily down at them and frowned.

“Who are you?”

“Your new assistant.”

“My new- I didn't hire you!”

“No, Sir Crocodile did.” They informed him as Buggy dropped to his knees on the bed, looking at them with a frown. “He feels you need help managing your schedule and paperwork so he brought me on to help you.”

“Why did he decide that without me?!” Buggy demanded, looking them over. Taron wasn't dressed flashy enough to work for Buggy. Their dress was too similar to Crocodile’s, from the cravat to the shoes. They looked like someone who Buggy would end up owing money to and having his knees broken for not paying them back. They were shorter than Buggy, wider as well, looking like it would take a lot to knock them over. They wore glasses, their brown eyes looking at him through thick frames. Long hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, keeping it out of their face as they looked at him.

“Because he wants to be sure the person could get the job done.” Taron replied as they crossed their arms. “You're still naked.” They went over to what they assumed to be his wardrobe and opened it, looking for something for him to wear. “I worked with him for ten years so he knows I can handle anything.”

They reached into the wardrobe, pulling out a shirt and pants for him. They didn't care what he wore as long as he was dressed, but when they turned and saw him sitting on his bed, blanket over his lap as he looked at them sulkily, maybe it wasn't the right outfit.

“I'm not wearing that.” Buggy said with a glare. “Those two don't go well together.”

Taron shrugged. “I don't care what you wear, but you have a meeting in ten minutes with Mihawk and Crocodile, so I suggest you put something on for it.” They looked back at the clothing options before looking at Buggy with a grim expression on their face. “They explicitly said for you to not be late to this one.”

“Ten minutes?!” 

“It was fifteen but we wasted five minutes.” Taron told him as Buggy snatched the clothes from them and hastily put them on. They found his hair brush and handed it to him. While he wrestled with bedhead they retrieved his bandana and hat. “This should help.”

“I’m dead if I’m late again.” Buggy grumbled as he put his hair up before tying the bandana on to keep it all in place. He glared over at Taron as he grabbed his hat. “Not that I care, but what’s your name, you pest? Coming in here and waking me up late for my meeting, I should fire you for that!”

Taron looked amused by the empty threat. “My name is Taron and you don’t have the authority to fire me, only Crocodile.”

“I’ll take this up with him then!” Buggy snapped as he headed out of his room with Taron following after them. The two of them made it out of the tent before Buggy stopped and turned around. “Stop following me!”

“I’ve been instructed to make sure you make it to the meeting.” Taron told him. Buggy glared at them before he started walking again, grumbling under his breath about annoying assistants and other unkind things. Taron wasn’t bothered in the slightest by his petulant behavior. Their previous employer was a politician who didn’t know what he was even doing in his role so Taron did all of the work while he was just the face of the office. Once they reconnected with Crocodile and were told the job expectations, Taron realized they would be doing the same job again, but Crocodile would deal with the clown if he got out of hand. 

“I don’t need an escort!”

“Mm, I don’t care.” Taron said as they followed behind. “We’re almost there.”

Buggy turned his head to glare at them once again while his body kept stomping along. Taron didn’t flinch at his Devil Fruit powers. They had seen plenty while working with Baroque Works. 

They made it all the way to the meeting room where Crocodile and Mihawk were already seated. Buggy stomped over to his seat and sat down, still glaring at Taron for how his day was already going. They said nothing as they took a seat beside them, pulling a pen and notepad from their pocket. Crocodile glanced over at Buggy with a smirk.

“He’s early.” He said, cigar clenched between his teeth as he leaned back in his chair. “How did you manage that?”

“I informed Captain Buggy that the meeting was in ten minutes.” Taron told him as they clicked their pen. “It got him moving, which is what we needed.”

Buggy’s jaw dropped at being lied to as Crocodile chuckled and Mihawk looked over some papers. The meeting started without much fuss, just Buggy pouting in his seat while Taron took notes.

~

“I don't like you, Taron.” Buggy announced after the meeting. “You wake me up from my beauty sleep, lie to me, and then spend the meeting interrupting my thoughts!” He turned to look at Crocodile. “Why did you hire them for me? They're terrible!”

“They’re less likely to kill you than me, clown.” Crocodile told him without looking up from a stack of papers. “You’ll do as they say, understand?”

“What?! They said they were my assistant!” Buggy complained as he pounded his fist on the table. “They’re supposed to listen to me then!”

“I listen to Sir Crocodile.” Taron said as they looked over their notes. “And I only interrupted your ‘thoughts’ because you were nodding off in the meeting.” They looked over at Buggy. “As for liking me, I’m not here for you to like me. I’m here to make sure you do your job, Captain Buggy.”

Buggy stared at them for a moment before looking pleadingly at Crocodile. He really didn’t want an assistant, especially one that previously worked for Crocodile. Who’s to say Taron wouldn’t threaten to kill him with every conversation, or actually follow through with it? He wanted to throw a fit over this, that at least he should get to choose, but Crocodile glanced at Buggy with a look in his eyes that scared the clown into sucking it up and nodding.

Just because he was agreeing now didn’t mean he would behave, however. 

~

Taron was given space in Buggy’s tent for a room. They put their things away before walking off with Crocodile, leaving Buggy and Mihawk behind as he continued pouting about the situation. If the two really thought he needed an assistant, they should have said something. He could have asked Alvida or someone, not have Crocodile 2.0 helping him out. Buggy had his eye on the assistant as they were in their new room, putting things away from their one bag. It was just some clothes, that was it, no personal items of any kind. It was a little odd to Buggy.

“I don’t trust’em.” He mumbled as he watched them leave. For all he knew, Taron was brought in to eventually assassinate him once Crocodile finally had enough of him. It was inevitable now. He wondered if he should have Cabaji start working on his obituary soon. 

He waited a few minutes before returning to the tent. Buggy wondered how much longer he had left to live.

[guster-animations]

KR Gotchard Producers Roundtable PART 2

producer minato gave me a hard time with this one. if you see any problems, please tell me in reblogs/dms/asks/whatever

TOKU TRANSLATION MASTERPOST HERE

this was done for the henshindex wiki! join today!

Kamen Rider Gotchard TV Series Finale Commemoration Toei Producers Special Symposium (Second Edition)

“Kamen Rider Gotchard” will soon reach its climax!

With that, we are delivering a Toei producer symposium like usual, split into three parts. Furthermore, the first and second volumes will be released one week before the final episode airs. The three-part talk totaled up to over 30,000 words. The participants are, of course, Producer Yosuke Minato and Assistant Producers Daigo Matsuura and Kaho Miyashima. In this second volume, we mainly discussed the inside story on the first half of the battle…!

Act 5: 1st-2nd Cour Summarization

TTFC: I can say that Gotchard is the result of you young producers sincerely bringing answers to the views of “adults”.

Minato: That was when I suddenly realized that the big veteran Keiichi Hasegawa is on our side. That was amazing. It’s not a bad thing to be young. I thought that his aging halted 30 years ago because of changing from art staff to scriptwriter.

[Footnote: After being an assistant director and on art staff, Keiichi Hasegawa made his debut as a screenwriter in Tsuburaya Productions’ “Ultraman Tiga” (1996). He was also involved in “Tiga” as filming set staff until the middle part of the show.]

Hasegawa already has a fair amount of achievements, and it seems like his core is that his surroundings don’t change what he says. However, at the same time, he is also flexible. While communicating during preparatory meetings, he can switch over to going “Oh, it’s this way!” with ideas. That flexibility was very helpful.

Harashima: For me, episode 5 was my first time being in charge of casting the guest actors. That was the pro wrestling episode of all things… (Laughs). But this one also had many guest characters, and I thought whether I did well would be pretty essential, so even though I consulted with Director (Katsuya) Watanabe, I pulled it off in my own way. Even so, it was very troublesome to find who I would ask to play the role of “Koichiro Asahi”.

[Footnote: Masanori Machida, who appeared in “Gotchard”, is a big veteran of the acting industry, boasting of an over 60-year career since childhood. His appearances in tokusatsu works are also numerous; in “Ninja Hattori-kun + Ninja Kaiju Jippou” (1967), he was also responsible for Hattori-kun’s suit actors (multiple times). It’s actually been 43 years since he last appeared in the Kamen Rider Series. Koichiro Asahi re-appeared afterwards in episode 47 too!]

We were able to get Masanori Machida to appear, and after seeing the footage, Hasegawa sent me an email saying, “That was an incredible casting choice”. I made sure to save that email to look at when I’m having a hard time.

Minato: That’s true, you were in charge of episode 5, and then episode 6 too. Shogo Amo was a good choice for Boruto Namarizaki.

Harashima: I didn’t know Mr. Amo had appeared in “Mashin Sentai Kiramager” (2020) and “Avataro Sentai Donbrothers” too (Laughs). And yet both of those appearances were for episodes directed by Watanabe’s team. Not knowing that, when I asked Director Watanabe, “How about this person?”, he said, “That’s Amo!”. I immediately said, “Sure. Let’s ask him.”

Matsuura: Amo was good in “Kiramager” and “Drive”, but he was even better as Boruto Namarizaki this time. He gave a performance that made it hard to believe he was the same actor as in his last two works. At the same time that I thought, “Wow, he’s still a great actor,” Director Watanabe could tell that Boruto would be performed well if it were Amo.

Minato: I think that episode’s script from Hasegawa was good too. Bolt was truly a heel (bad guy) typical of Hasegawa works. Moreover, I’d wanted to see Hasegawa and Director Watanabe working together for myself. They were together for a year in “Donbrothers” and I really wanted Director Watanabe to participate in Gotchard, so one of my aims was to have him work with Hasegawa. That was realized in episodes 5-6, 13-15, and the endgame episodes 44-45. The first one, episodes 5-6, was especially interesting during the script phase, but those were episodes that I think were “changed” in such a way because of the guest casting, the synergy, and even more so, the direction. It had an effect.

Matsuura: It complements itself a little, one cool episode… The structure up to maybe the Kyoto arc was decided before the show started airing. The scripts for those were mostly finished too. Since we had calculated which forms would appear in what order and the like, we weren’t making that part of the show while looking at how the audience reacted. We wanted to do it that way from the start. We were making each episode having already decided what would be done and seen in it. Though there was trouble because there were a fair amount of things we should have done or weren’t easy to explain.

Matsuura: In the early days, episode 4 was profoundly memorable to me. That was the first one where we fully depicted the relationship between Hotaro and Rinne. I wondered if it would be easier for everyone to enjoy “Gotchard” if they watched this episode. But, on the other hand, I was worried if the path we took properly conveyed Hotaro’s goodness. Hotaro is the type of protagonist who makes sure to “listen” to the thoughts of others more than he shares something himself. We also included the point of “a supportive protagonist” and “passivity”. Personally, I think we need more people like him in this day and age… It was for exactly that reason that I wondered if he would be hard for present-day viewers to relate to. In other words, he’s not “easily understood”, isn’t it flashy? At that point, we were already coming to like how Hotaro was, but I worried about if audiences would feel the same way about him. The next pro wrestling episode… I think WrestlerG’s episode (episode 5) was full of showiness, and that was structurally good.

Minato: (Hiroki) Uchida finally had time to write in episodes 7-8, and moreover, that was the first two-episode arc, so we aimed to gamble with Uchida’s specialty style. It’s a story of the protagonist and a young guest character coming together.

Matsuura: Then, 9 and 10 was a school trip arc filmed in Kyoto. That was Director (Ryuta) Tasaki’s second time going up to the mound after the first two episodes of the show.

Minato: Personally, I strongly wanted to make Gotchard also a school drama, so at an early stage, I decided to “do these (episodes 9 and 10) on the Kyoto location as a school trip”. That’s why I basically left episodes 5 and 6 to Harashima, and 7 and 8 to Matsuura; I was focusing on helping with preparations for the location shoot. Then we had to make the scripts for those episodes… Hasegawa specializes in dark stories, and if we did that, it would go in that profound direction. At that time, the person who said during meetings that the appeal of “Gotchard” is its cheerfulness was Matsuura.

Matsuura: The back-and-forth exchanges around that had a structure to them. But my thoughts regarding Hasegawa, who I’ve socialized with for a year, were only “Keiichi, I’m sorry about this” (Laughs). “Gotchard” was our first time working together, but naturally, I knew his name before then. Now, I respect him a hundred times more than I did then. Well, it’s not that I didn’t respect him before (Laughs). I said it before, but even though he’s a big veteran, the way he thinks is young. I don’t know if “young” words are appropriate or what, but he always listened to what a youngster like me had to say, and he would adopt the ideas if he thought they were good. He would say, “I seeeee!” with genuine excitement… I have no idea if he’s always been like that (Laughs). He’s accumulated various experiences, and I know what he’s like now, but the Hasegawa I spent a year with was truly someone I can respect. That’s why a person like me could always talk nonstop about my cocky views without hesitation. I’m very grateful for that. I was also able to give many opinions in the script meeting for the Kyoto location episode too.

Minato: Because Hasegawa and Uchida’s unique characteristics are different, as the side that orders materials, there were parts where it was easy to go, “Hasegawa would fit here,” or “Uchida would be good for this one”. Then Akiko Inoue joined, but she also liked to write scripts that have personality. When ordering for Inoue, I deeply wanted to know her writing style, and I only came across an “Akiko Inoue Script Episode” from “GeGeGe no Kitaro (Series 6)” (2018-2020) that she had participated in.

[Footnote: In series 6 (97 episodes), Akiko Inoue was involved from episode 6 and onwards, and authored fourteen episodes in total. Incidentally, responsible for episode 1 of series 5 among others, Keiichi Hasegawa also participated in series 6, starting with episode 56 in the second year of broadcasting. He has written nine episodes for the franchise.]

Then, whichever episode she did would be very interesting. She’s very good at making use of the writing styles for people and societies, and yet, she also depicts things that are like human love flowing down. Of course, since it was “Kitaro”, the original work itself is amazing, but I also felt the power of her own writing. What I first asked her to do was Majade’s TV debut episode (episode 19) where what she would do had been decided, so there wasn’t much room left for Inoue to write with freedom, but from the next moment I asked her to do something, around episodes 22-23, she quickly showed her personality. I only ordered her with the information that “a Chemy called Zukyumpire appearing” and “a story where good intentions about love go wrong would be nice”, but she did more than I asked her (Laughs). After that, we were surprised again by Inoue with episodes 36 and 36, but what I really felt a reaction to in the beginning was 22 and 23.

Matsuura: I kept saying from the side, “Zukyumpire in live action is difficult, so can’t we do it another way?”, but a person named Akiko Inoue and a person standing here named Harashima conspired together, and I definitely couldn’t try to stop (Laughs).

Minato: Oh, come on, everyone and their energy was amazing in that episode. Even though we think about production in various ways for the difficult work, I expected that we could more or less compromise and say “It’s good if we make it this far!”, but the filming site really won’t give up either (Laughs).

Matsuura: For example, when Zukyumpire possessed Sabimaru, Sabimaru would always become a different emotion, and try to sing the song with “Everyone’s heart I zukyun, zukyun…” I was proposing that it would end up structured like a Super Sentai “filler episode”. It was interesting for the audience to see a Sabimaru that was different from normal, too. However, the young lady Akiko (laughs) didn’t give up there.

Minato: She was very particular about the idea of “Zukyumpire himself intentionally appearing as a human”.

Matsuura: While midway through it, I thought, “Well, it’s good that I’m not in charge (of the casting) myself”, and said afterwards for Harashima to do her best. No, of course I’m kidding.

Harashima: Firstly, Akiko’s pilot was interesting. That and another thing—when I looked at “Gotchard’s” audience analysis data at that time, it was sufficiently reaching the original audience of the C-group (Children/Kids group, ages 4-12), but more than that, the T-group (Teenager group, ages 13-19) and F1-group (females aged 20-34) were looking a little weak. Here, I thought about how I could bring about a character that seems to appeal to the said groups. I’m really glad we got Taro Yamanaka to appear.

Minato: Yamanaka was decided. and I told Director (Kyohei) Yamaguchi that we should push Zukyumpire and Yamanaka in this episode. So, if you rewatch episodes 22 and 23, there are many scenes we shot inside the Oizumi filming site to cut costs (Laughs).

TTFC: But Zukyumpire was right after Kamen Rider Valvarad’s debut arc (episodes 20-21), so when I think about it again, January and February were putting up a big offense.

Minato: Also as a connection between past and present, Mr. Minato became an enemy, the base called the Alchemy Academy was taken, and the “Kitchen Ichinose Alliance” was active for a while… I had decided that for that series of events, episodes 26-27 would be directed by Tasaki’s team, after episodes 23-24’s (Takayuki) Shibasaki group. I made the season with a lot of excitement.

TTFC: Then, from the spring break period, the episodes broadcast up to early April were a lot of “breather” episodes.

Minato: When we welcomed in Director (Kiyotaka) Taguchi, it was right during that (episodes 28-29).

Act 6: “The Dark Sisters” Secret Story

TTFC: With this, Director Taguchi has now taken part in all of Japan’s “Three Big Tokusatsu Series” (Ultraman, Kamen Rider, and Super Sentai) as a director.

Minato: Actually, I approached Director Taguchi before I did Akiko Inoue. With various conflicts, I knew we wouldn’t have enough directors at some point. So I foresaw that development. Rotating directors isn’t a mechanical process; If we did that, it would be too much. For every director of a story, I would think in the same way as I do for casting guest members, and pick them based on the contents of the episodes. So while looking for what timing would suit Director Taguchi to come in, Director Taguchi himself was pretty busy, and it was hard to find a good spot in his schedule. If his schedule was more open, I might have asked him to do a pair of single digit episodes early on. I was contacting the director frequently, and what I thought he “might be good in” was episodes 28-29. It was also an episode that was just after a big development had ended. When I called the director, I first asked, “What kind of things do you want to do?”. I remember that I started by talking about “which Chemies remained”. And then it became “The Great Yokai War” (Laughs).

Matsuura: I thought with Director Taguchi that the image of monster movies and the work of “Kingdom of Light” was still strong, but when I call on him, he seems to like “GeGeGe no Kitaro” and the works of Mr. (Shigeru) Mizuki too. And since Akiko Inoue happened to have written for “Kitaro”, they got excited about doing a “ghost” story arc (Laughs).

Minato: Well, he had directed with Toei before in “Mashin Sentai Kiramager”, so I thought that he should direct in a different way from “Kiramager” since this is the Kamen Rider series. So, Otojiro Sato, “Gotchard’s” second assistant director… he also had experience filming for the Ultraman series, so we asked for his “favorite Taguchi work”. He had liked “The Love” (episode 6) from “Ultrazone” (2011).

[Footnote: A love story connecting Alien Zalab (Voice: Tomokazu Seki) and the widowed woman Omoya (Mitsuko Oka). A sudden and distinct episode to be broadcast in the short-story-focused “Ultrazone”.]

TTFC: He has great taste…

Minato: I watched because I hadn’t seen it, and it turned out to be really good. I discovered that atmospheric dramas like this are the director’s specialty, and I think that reflected on the story of episodes 28-29 too. Toshie Negishi also appeared then, in the role of Renge’s grandmother.

Matsuura: Ms. Negishi was the role of the protagonist’s grandmother in “Ultraman Arc” (2024). Actually, her shoots for “Arc” came before “Gotchard”.

TTFC: That’s been a pattern recently.

Matsuura: There was no aim to have this be “Gotchard’s” specialty. There are benefits to filming early (Laughs). The child actor Soto Osagaki, who we got to appear as a guest actor in the Saboneedle episodes (episodes 7-8), was filmed in the V-Cinext “Kamen Rider Geats: Jyamato Awaking” before, but his role in “Gotchard” ended up airing first as well (Laughs). Ayane Kinoshita from the next episodes, the Kyoto location ones (9-10) was the same way. TTFC’s “Ninja Sentai Kakuranger Part 3: Mid-Life Crisis” was filmed first, but before that even went up on streaming, we got her to come back for more “Gotchard” episodes (9-10, 44-45) (Laughs).

TTFC: Director Taguchi came back to help with Sabimaru’s focus episodes, 42-43, and results-wise it seems like he became the “director in charge of the older students [Renge and Sabimaru]”…

Minato: But episodes 28-29 weren’t originally intended to be Renge focus episodes. It’d been decided that it would have a “grandma character”, but not whose grandma it would be. We’d already had focus episodes for Rinne and Hotaro, so it was a difficult point, and then it became “wouldn’t Renge fit?”. And then there were talks of her grandma living in Kansai since Renge uses the Kansai dialect (Laughs). At any rate, the episodes turned out good, so when we asked him to do two more afterwards, it was easy to say, “Please do Sabimaru this time.” In the beginning, the aim in appointing Director Taguchi was from a place of wanting to expand the work’s worldview, so I think there was good synergy with him focusing on Renge and Sabimaru.

TTFC: Since we did the older students’ episodes, I want to touch on the Dark Sisters; weren’t they created because Hasegawa was in charge?

Minato: That’s right. At first, since it’s “a story where they search for Chemies”, we didn’t want clear enemies to be there yet, so there was a period where we were fumbling around for something in that direction. But when Hasegawa formally joined and looked over the plan, I received a comment that “it’ll become hard to understand which way the story is facing”. So I started to think about the creation of an enemy for Hasegawa. What appeared from there was “the Dark Sisters”, but because only three people would appear as enemies at the start, I thought, “this is a new approach”. So, at that time, Hasegawa fit very well with the drama “Dr. Chocolate” (2023)…

[Footnote: Created by Yasushi Akimoto. Ryo Aoki [played Kento/Espada in KR Saber] played a regular cast member who is a police detective, and Kokoro Aoshima [played Tsumuri in KR Geats] was a guest actor in episode 6. A favorite even with TTFC, Akira Shinomiya [played comedians in various KR media] was a guest actor in episode 3 while participating as a “comedy duo”.]

The premise is that its heroine is a ten-year-old genius surgeon. It was Hasegawa’s idea from the start that the eldest sister of the “Dark Sisters”, Atropos, would be played by a child actor. So when it became time to look for Atropos in auditions, I was able to come across a talented person named Itono Okita. The third daughter, Lachesis, is the incredible Alisa Sakamaki, who we met at auditions for the main cast members. Lachesis’ presence was one that I thought was valuable, so I asked her. The middle daughter, Clotho, was a brutish character, so a person who could fight is the best option. When speaking with Director Tasaki, he said, “What about Kanon Miyahara?”. Now the names had already been decided. Especially at the start, it felt like I would wonder when they would die (in the show) every time I read a script, but Hasegawa, at a point where there is a “creator” of the Dark Sisters, was always saying, “All of them will survive until the endgame!”. On the other hand, I was constantly worrying, “What will happen in the endgame?”. “However it’s done, it will look pitiful. We can’t avoid that.”

TTFC: In the midst of that, to have Lachesis and Spanner, Atropos and Rinne, and Clotho and Hotaro team up, the “teamwork” between the three sisters and three Riders was born.

Minato: The three sisters weren’t just Hasegawa; Uchida and Inoue, as well as all the directors, depicted them well. Right, I was saying to Director (Koichi) Sakamoto that “We’ll definitely ask you when the schedule is free” from an early stage, but his first words regarding that were, “Please let me film Kanon (Miyahara)!” (Laughs).

TTFC: That was definitely implemented in episodes 32-33.

Minato: That’s correct. It was decided to have Kamen Rider Legend finally appear in the TV series, and it became that we asked him to make the buildup to that more exciting. I asked Uchida to do the script, and it was an episode where he really got to shine. Clotho got more action scenes compared to the other sisters, but hadn’t been delved into as a character that much. Uchida was able to come up with a situation where the two of them, as “rivals”, are able to cooperate for a moment, while firmly summarizing the small connections between Hotaro and Clotho up to that episode.

TTFC: I think it’s because of Uchida cooperating with you from the planning stage, Minato.

Minato: Uchida gave me comments from the standpoint of series structure for the episode scripts that Hasegawa and Inoue wrote. Like, “Couldn’t this part be connected to this one in a previous episode in this way?”. He gave useful suggestions within the minimum necessary scope while never erasing the personality of Hasegawa and Inoue’s writing, so it was always helpful. I think the fact that Hasegawa and Inoue had as much freedom as possible to write with probably caused Uchida trouble. The early-on episodes 7-8 and the endgame episodes 42-43 might have been when the “Uchida World” could expand. But because episodes 7 and 8 had so many components put into it, 42 and 43 too, there was an aspect of Uchida World and Taguchi World’s Gotchanko, so with the process of letting Director Taguchi do what he wanted, he had to adjust a fair amount of things…

Act 7: A Well-rounded “Adult” Cast

TTFC: With Kanji Ishimaru (Fuga Kudo), Yoko Minamino (Tamami Ichinose), Saki Fukuda (Kyoka Edami), and Kenta Kamakari (Glion), everyone in the “adult cast” is magnificent.

Harashima: Ishimaru and Minamino had a sense of stability, of security. They were there until the end, and I am very grateful for that. Saki Fukuda herself liked tokusatsu works herself, and she would say, “It’s fun!” whenever I went to meet her. She was an important person for Spanner while performing too, but I think it was good for (Yasunari) Fujibayashi to be able to act alongside her. From Fukuda’s standpoint, there were many times she was together with young cast members other than Fujibayashi, but it seems like she put a lot of work into helping him. Fukuda didn’t say it herself whatsoever; however, we should put care into the things that can’t be seen, and I’m grateful for it from the bottom of my heart. There was also a “Mr. Minato and…?” scene at the end of the summer movie, and it was wonderful. Being an “older sister adult” character, there are places where she overlaps with Sumiko Kozawa from “Kamen Rider Agito” (2001).

Minato: I think that was a little of my inspiration at the start.

Matsuura: Well, I should have her eat barbecue and gulp down beer from a mug, then (Laughs).

Minato: No, it’s because she was asking for parsley at the ramen cart (Laughs). But, “Gotchard” became a work with many female regular cast members. That wasn’t intended at all, and moreover, I have a feeling that there aren’t too many women in the audience.

Matsuura: The Dark Sisters are certainly raising the numbers (Laughs). But really, there was nothing that made me uncomfortable, and it’s just the trend of the times. Now, it’s the aforementioned last moment of the summer movie, but for Fukuda, even in the TV series, she had been thinking, “Kyoka and Minato could perhaps…”, so when there was a chance, she brought that nuanced acting into it. Even so, (Rikuto) Kumaki is more stubborn and doesn’t get on at all. I don’t think he realizes that (Laughs). The truth is that, and the fact that he played with so much force in Director Tasaki’s summer festival scene. Kumaki himself is a very warm and cozy person.

Minato: That’s true. I hoped for it to be like “Avataro Sentai Donbrothers” (2022)’s Tsuyoshi Kijino… (Hirofumi) Suzuki (plays Kijino), where we would get him to show his immense “acting ability” as a character from the Alchemy Academy, and stimulate the growth of the new cast members, but Kumaki wasn’t “that type”, not in a bad way. He would just enjoy being with everyone if those members were around (Laughs). But, I’m glad it’s that way. If anything, I think a good balance was struck when Fukuda joined later on, and it became an incredible team over the year. Now for Kamakari; Glion.

Matsuura: Kenken (Kamakari) helped a lot too. I think this is a hot topic right now, but in scenes like the one where Glion comes to “Kitchen Ichinose” in episode 49, when I read the scripts for them, I already thought, “I want to see this!”. And because Kamakari recognized that this was a highlight of the show, it became a truly good scene. I think that scene was created specifically because he was Glion. At the same time, wouldn’t he have not been performed that way without Kamakari?

[mono-blogs-art]

Alright, I finished GAP the series. I can't lie, I finished it in 2 days so, it was very addictive. I liked the first half more than the second, in later episodes it all just kinda dragged out a bit and the arguments felt a bit cyclical. But overall, I really liked it! Plus, the show is entirely on YouTube, I love the accessibility of it!

It's my first time watching a Thai drama, and I was somewhat aware before that GAP was one of the most popular lesbian shows coming out of the genre (and also one of the first Thai lesbian shows ever??). It's the kind of show everyone just knows through osmosis or has at least seen a few episodes of. And now that I've seen it I understand why that is the case :D

Overall: I will give the show a 6/10! It definitely has more of a silly, telenovela type edit and structure which is great, but not necessarily always for me. But because of that it also hooks you in immediately. Over time, the pace really starts to show however and it's just too slow for me. The shots are also sometimes a bit inconsistent, some of them look like a straight up painting and others are baffling to see in a finished product. I definitely laughed a few times because of that, but I find it more charming than anything else. It's a silly show after all.

The Plot: Is barely relevant to be honest, the main plot (Sam's company being in a tough spot) is just kind of abandoned after a while in favour of the love story. I didn't mind it. The romance is what I'm here for anyway. It has a very "my parents sold me to one direction" fanfic vibe, and I mean this only in the best way. Getting to intern at your idol's company, then becoming her personal assistant and eventually conquering her heart is a classic. Lesbians need that messy shit too. And brother I ate it up. I also understand now why people were comparing Chaser Game W (2024 lesbian jdrama) to this show, it has a somewhat similar vibe and is also about an unhealthy relationship in the workplace. However, GAP does literally every single thing better than Chaser Game did, and I still thought CGW was fun.

The Characters: I love them. They're simple but well executed.

Mon is understandably a bit boring, suffering from being the protagonist, but she does have a few key moments that were either really fun or really made me emotionally connect, so I like her. She's cute! And I loved her boldness and rebellious nature in the first half of the show, sadly I think it got lost a bit in the second. Overall this show isn't really interested in exploring sexuality that much (even though it's very steamy), so Mon just kinda goes from "Don't be silly, she's a woman, I'm not interested in her like that" to making out with Sam. Like girl, I get it but also... I wish we could've seen a bit more of that discovery and exploration (we do see it much more on Sam's side though). Mon also doesn't have a ton of agency, she's kinda powerless in a lot of situations because she's just a normal girl, not an... insanely rich noble lady CEO with powerful connections. You know, unlike her boss.

Sam is the true main character of the show, driving pretty much the entire plot in one way or another. She is also by far the most entertaining and charming character and I'm obsessed with her. She's a horrible person, wildly inconsistent, toxic and emotionally immature in every way, and seeing her ice-cold facade thaw every so slowly throughout the episodes is just so much fun. Underneath it all she's just a Weirdo who is so deeply traumatized by her upbringing that she's still just a kid at heart. I say all these harsh things because they are true, but also because despite it all the show somehow pulls it off to make her really likeable. Sam is funny, mean, extremely cute, pathetically down bad and horny, and just going through all the emotions ever, and her actress Sarocha Chankimha really pulls it off and I can only be impressed. Sam's development in the second half of the series also really works because it's surprisingly consistent, her falling back into her bad habits and eventually accepting her tragic fate made so much sense. She couldn't have achieved her freedom on her own and I'm glad the show didn't go that route either.

As for the supporting cast, Sam's friends are definitely the most interesting. I just wonder how Sam, a cis "straight" woman, ended up in the coolest queerest girl gang in town. Only because they were friends in elementary school? Honestly that's the most unrealistic part of the show for me LMAO. Sam's fiancé Kirk is The Man in the lesbian show, he's alright. Mon's friend Nop turned out to be surprisingly sweet in the later half of the show, which was a delight. The big villain of the series, Sam's grandmother, is ... Well, it was certainly a choice to have her end up where she did in the end. I wish they'd have done something a bit more bold with the character - I found it a bit of a cop out. Not all villains need to turn out to be nice in the end, especially not this one. But I can respect the choice, and I'm ultimately more in favour of a character working to become a better person than a villain succumbing to more evil.

One thing that's undeniable about the show is that it's hot. The leads have some insane chemistry going on and you can't look away, every scene with them feels electric, especially in the beginning. I was also surprised at how sexy the show is overall, like okay, we just dedicate an entire episode to Sam and Mon wanting to fuck. And there is an honest-to-god eating out scene that made me go 😳 I appreciate the show for that :D

Overall, I'm glad this was my introduction to Thai GL, I understand why it's a somewhat foundational text and I really enjoyed my time with it. I'm also happy to hear that it's been a kickstart for the actor's careers, and that the two girlies are doing more sapphic shows together now. I'm actually already watching The Loyal Pin (trying to watch and stay up to date as it's currently airing!) and that show is much more my style, even though it's also quite slow. But it's fun to see the same actresses play completely different roles. I loved Sam a lot, but overall I think I will enjoy Anin and Pin more.