#( for those who aren't aware of what going on with this blog

[doberbutts]

So I'm going to ask an honest question here and ask you please explain in layman's terms. Every trans person I know irl has no concept of the transandrophobia discourse but every time I see more of it online I'm...unsettled, and it takes a lot to power through all the terminology.

I initially was really receptive to transandrophobia because the rationale behind being against it sounded stupid and akin to label discourse in the queer community. I saw "being a man is not an axis of oppression therefore you don't get your Own Word" and thought that was pedantic nonsense, that language doesn't need to adhere to that rule, and that it's helpful to have a term designated towards transmasculine experiences so people can find those experiences easier. Not that trans women's experiences aren't also beneficial! But that, well, obviously no matter how similar the experience birds of a feather and that sense of comfort of sharing identity still matters. This is true for other issues of identity too, I find, weather that's a good thing or a bad thing idk, but it is human.

The thing is I follow a lot of transwomen and have been seeing some alarms being raised about the community being formed around this word. You blocked one of the most egregious offenders so I trust you (which is why I'm asking sorry) I've seen a lot of misogyny and essentialism from people using the term "transandrophobia" and more egregiously "transmisandry." Idk your opinion on the latter term (I haven't scrolled down far enough on your blog, sorry if you talked about this before) but to me it's unconscionable. I was taught that transandrophobia existed as a term specifically NOT to use that term, that elevating misandry to a legitimate issue was dangerous for obvious reasons and it was one of the reasons why I was so supportive of transandrophobia. To me, it seemed like an awareness that misogyny was the prevailing issue behind all issues of gender oppression, but when I actually look at the tag I...get uncomfortable.

Blogs I follow have repeatedly been upset at misogyny from this community, and have been using the term "transandrobro" to describe behavior they find akin to cis MRAs. I've truly seen horrible things with hundreds, sometimes thousands of notes to it that do, unfortunately, feel like women are being blamed for the plight of trans men. I've seen cis people say they were originally on MRA reddits and then came to tumblr to "confront the misandry directly" only to wholeheartedly adopt transandrophobia into their worldview. It's hard because I KNOW I shouldn't judge a community based on a few crazies but it truly does feel sometimes like "transandrophobia" gives misogynists a venue to air their woman-hating to an eager audience, kinda like how "Karen" has been co-opted beyond the og meaning of being for racist white woman to any woman being mildly rude.

So like, here it is: can transandrophobia exist without being co-opted by misogynists? Is there a threshold of proliferation for misogynists destroying this word until a new one needs to be made? Or will every word trying to identify the transmasculine experience be inevitably co-opted by misogynists because misogynists are just that powerful, so people should double down harder on the word and work to push misogynists out?

(Also am I going crazy, or did this word a year ago used to have a WAY better community than the one I see nowadays. Back then I could find your blog and really compassionate people easily, and now it's just...bad.)

It is a little hard to understand some of this post but I will do my best to answer what I think is being asked.

To put simply, I think the reason why it was better a year or two ago is because the majority of the people who were actually trying to further the conversation and not just circle jerk in the echo chamber got chased off. Transandrophobia, anti-transmasculinity, transandromisia, transmascphobia... the guys who coined these are largely either not posting at all anymore or post far far less than they used to. They were harassed and the constant exposure to transphobia made them shut down their blogs for their own mental health. Not all of them, but a lot of the so-called "big names" had this happen.

Even I stopped posting for a while and shuttered the doors for a bit outside of a long queue of dog photos because of how much it was affecting my mental health.

In their place remain people who are not committed to the same conversation. Perhaps they are younger, or less familiar with the building blocks of theory that really should be required reading, or are still stuck in their "everything sucks and it's YOUR fault" phase. Maybe they do come from different places, like 4chan or reddit, which are less prone to this sort of discussion. A lot of the original crowd had been on tumblr long enough to remember when we could still edit posts, and I keep seeing people who would have been in elementary school at that time posting to the tag nowadays.

I was discussing this problem on discord with a small group of friends and one of them- a trans fem- called it second wave transandrophobia discourse as a bitter joke. I think she is more right than wrong, regardless.

I'm not sure who you believe I've blocked- in general I don't air out who I block on this blog because at nearly 12k followers there are too many people who would love to dogpile someone for the sin of disagreeing with me and I do my best to prevent that. I don't want anyone to be harassed, after all. There's a lot of assumptions that have been made about my block and follow behavior that vary from "hilarious but untrue" to "outright offensive slander".

People are people, and some people are shitheads. Trans mascs and people who want to support trans mascs are not exempt from that. I say this all the time- Kayne West is objectively a shitty person but his existence doesn't prove the concept of antiblackness to be a myth. Caitlyn Jenner is objectively a shitty person but her existence doesn't prove the concept of transmisogyny to be a myth. So why do shitty trans mascs prove our own theory to be dangerous or nonexistent? Why hold us to a higher standard than any other marginalized group?

I could ask you the same question- there are posts on here with hundreds, sometimes thousands, of notes made by trans fems and cis women who blame their problems with transmisogyny on trans mascs. There are people coming from reddit, Twitter, 4chan who are being actively transphobic and misogynistic and claiming they're doing it for the good of transfeminism. There are posts filled with misogyny and bioessentialism and gender essentialism and even interphobia and racism and transphobia being left completely unchecked. Do you think it would be acceptable for me to ask if that means transmisogyny theory should be abandoned or if we should just accept that it will draw people with bad intentions?

Or do you think the better answer is to focus instead on finding those with a good head on their shoulders, and making sure it's them who has their voice heard? Do you think we should maybe not judge entire demographics because there exists some shitty people who claim the same identity?

[itsrlymine]

Hi, it's 🎸💫 anon! Before I start, how are you?

I have such a story to tell. This is the biggest breakthrough in my journey ever since knowing abt manifestation (and since I've been knowing it from middle school to high school years) I became aware of me being pure consciousness rather than inducing it (thank u for that) and I could cry out of joy, genuinely. My health is better—from dental, anemia, tmj, tinnitus, heart, etc. Those are all literally healed now. My life quality has increased, I have no more social anxiety or a fear to present infront of people, I've made my desired group of friends and even with me being naturally shy and an introvert it doesn't pose as an issue. I get equal treatment instead of being the one who gives so much or being a free therapist. I've manifested apologies from people who've wronged me. My grades are better now due to me having more of a motivational drive despite having ADHD. Everything mental is better as well—I was always getting depressed or low energy very quickly. Better self-concept, confidence, etc.

ANYWAY, I don't wanna yap TOO much. So, desired face, body, voice, talents, the whole fucking nine. I look so gorgeous I get compliments at school from my looks to wardrobe it's honestly amazing. I've joined multiple clubs which will look hella good on my report for College like forensics, dance, physics, (I used to be so bad at math but guess who. Manifestation!) My grades in school are amazing, I'm richer and can help out more people when I want to, which has always been my thing. If I could describe my life in one word I would probably say y/n. I finally feel as if my teenage years aren't wasted. On the lines of that, I've also revised lots of stuff in my life and I'm planning to do so much more. (I can't wait to go to a concert for the first time.)

BOOM SHALALAKA YES GAWDD🗣️ I am so glad I decided. I am so glad your blog was a tool for me to realize everything so quickly. Guys, when I say don't wait—don't. Just see what's behind that door, open it. Don't procrastinate, none of that shit.

[thatfrailsoul]

– The one dear to your heart

tarot pick a pile reading ( → 1, 2, 3 )

( pictures from pinterest : one, two, three )

For your every step closer, guided by the purest and most genuine and loving intentions, filled with the only desire to maintain and nourish this bond... There are always more steps further, far away from you, that they make frenetically, putting even more distance between your hearts, willingly tearing this connection apart... So is it even worth it? To fight for someone that seems to do so much just to hurt you and push you away? Is it really worth it, to be so patient, to try so hard to adapt or get used to their ways? Or is your hope that all of this is just a big misunderstanding that hides their desire to have you in their life... Just a dream that will never be realised?

Slow down for a moment. Give your mind a moment of rest, allow it to step back. And listen to your heart instead, to that inner voice, to the intuition that is guiding you to the pile in which your message hides.

And if you have a moment to spare before scrolling down to your message, there is something that I would be really grateful to know your opinion about, so I can make this blog as comfortable as possible.♡

Are the previews/ descriptions at the beginning of a pick a pile reading as this one helpful? Are they able to let you know what this reading will be about and if you are interested in it? Or is this something that is not necessary, or even too much for you? Would you prefer to have a shorter "intro" to a reading, perhaps in form of the questions that we will answer in that post? Or is it more comfortable for you to don't have any intro at all?

Thank you so much for letting me know! ♡

– Pile One,

the hanged man, the seven of swords, the two of swords

There is so much love, true and genuine affection in your heart. There is so much that you feel towards them, so much that you have and are ready to give to them, only to protect them and make them feel safe by your side... There is so much in your eyes when your gaze meets theirs, that is simply impossible to not understand it. It is impossible for them to not be aware of how much they are important to you, the place that they already have in your heart...

But it is also in the same way impossible for them to not be aware of how dangerous it is for you. To be so ready to sacrifice so much of yourself for someone that keeps on pushing you back. They can't ignore how not right it is, to accept such a genuine attention, even if it heals their wounds and scars. They know that they don't deserve, they are simply not ready, to be the one that your heart cares for so much.

They are aware of it, they understand it so well, they never would want to make you go through so much... But at the same time it is the only way that they know to be efficient, in protecting those that they are hurting, even when it's what they least desire. It's the only way that they have enough strength and courage for. The easiest one to make you understand how dangerous and wrong it is for you to stay by their side.

They are honest, for once, they are showing simply and truly who they are, what is going on in their mind and their heart right now. They are showing it all to you, just the way it is, so confusing, so complicated, so painful and so wrong. They do so in hopes that you understand it yourself, that you let go on you own...

Because there isn't any play in place, there aren't any lies or deeper secrets and realities, perhaps emotions that you still hope to find. There is only a really tired and confused soul, that is going through so much, but that really wants to work on it... on their own. So they don't hurt anyone in the meantime, so they don't feel guilty for something that they did without realising, for the promises that they were not able to respect for one reason or another... Just so they can manage and be responsible only for them, what they do only to themselves, not to others that don't deserve to go through it at all.

But your affection, your care and almost annoying hope and patience with them... Is so difficult to deal with. Because you simply refuse to listen to their honest words, you don't want to see the reality of their actions that are trying to show you what it means to be a part of their current world.

It is not meannes just for the sake of it, it's true. They are trying to protect you, even if in such a wrong and hurtful way. But not for this reason it is not real or it should be ignored. They are being honest with you, and they are waiting for you to push them back. Not because they are secretly wanting to have you by their side, helping them change themselves or their life... But just because you hold onto them so strongly, no matter what... Making it the only possible way to make you let go of them - making you do so on your own.

It is time now. It truly is. You did so much for them and for this connection, no matter what type of relationship it was, if there was any at all... but you did it. You ripped open your heart and showed them how much you can love and care, how much you are willing to do for someone that is a part of your life. And they did the exact same. They showed you who they are so many times... And it is the moment for you to accept it and surrender to it truly, even if it is so different from what you convince yourself them to be. There is nothing more to it. There is nothing else that they or this connection could be.

Listen for once their answers to your silent questions, see them in their actions that are so real and painful every single time. Listen to them and understand that this is not your battle, it is not your sacrifice, it is not what you deserve. Even if you care for them so much.

For once they are doing something to help you and protect you. And if there is a good moment to accept the hurt that they gave you... It is now. To accept it, understand it, and never allow it to happen again to your already tired heart.

It is enough, you did your best. And it is time to let them go now, because this is exactly what they want, this is what they are pushing you to do for already a really long time.

P.s. And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!��

→ ( ♡ send me a little thank you ♡ )

– Pile Two,

the strength, the hierophant, the sun

Fortunately... There is so much more to this bond, to you and them, to your paths that so often drift apart only to realign. There is so much more to this confusion, to these ups and downs, to these questions that are filling your mind each time they are by your side. There is so much more. And incredibly enough, even after all these struggles and conflicts, you are still ready for it...

You are still ready to do it. You are still ready and willing to wait, to be patient, to do your best to understand or to make them understand.

It never changed anything, not the uncertainties, not the distance, not the misunderstandings. Nothing was ever strong or bad enough to make you even consider the idea to push them away once and for all. It isn't just any relationship, any person... It is someone that for so long was such an important part of your life, of your days and what overwhelmed your heart and mind. You learned so much thanks to them, or because of them... You grew up, you experienced things that you are sure you never would've done if it wasn't for them holding your hand every time... They did so much for you, unconsciously, without even realising it. And although you always tried to do the same for them from the very start, always tried to care for them and keep them safe, even if from themselves...they never really accepted it back. Never let you closer, or to be exact, never admitted that you are already closer than they perhaps would like to say out loud. And not only because of your care for them, but especially because of their affection to you as well... Even if it so hidden under their ways that not many would understand...

But things will start to change now, one step at a time. You will start to see their heart open up, giving you finally those answers that you never were able to find, even though you tried to have at least a vague idea of what is going on in their mind. They will show it themselves, introduce you to their soul, the one that they hid so well and for so long from everyone. That deeper understanding and connection, that oppeness and honesty, that clarity in your interactions and moments... It will finally be all here. Simply because for once and truly they will realise that there was nothing to be afraid of. That there is nothing bad in your intentions to be by their side and take care of them, be there for them, the same way they did for you when you needed it so bad.

You met them in an interesting phase of their life, in a moment of deep transformation, changes and shifts one after another. So many ups and downs that were simply too much. Enough to make them dizzy, confused about their own desires and life. It wasn't intentional, but they did pull you right in the center of it all, of the storm of all their emotions that made them so strange and every time different in how they treated others, and you of all. But it is coming to an end now, good or bad it doesn't matter. It is enough the fact itself that they will regain their balance, their peace of mind. They will be able to breathe deeply, with more serenity. They will be more relaxed, with each smile. It will be almost like a whole new person. Someone of whom you only saw some glimpses, in those times where they were so caring and sweet contrary to their usual self at that time...

And it will be all worth it. Your hope and endurance, your conviction that there was more to this person and their story, then just a bad character and negative intentions. There was more than just a desire to hurt others and push them back. There was always been a whole hidden world and story, so intimate and so difficult to share... But that they will finally tell you about. Because in the softest and most tender way you earned it, their gratefulness and trust. Because you cared for them and were patient, even when they themselves where not aware of needing it so much.

P.s. And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡

→ ( ♡ send me a little thank you ♡ )

– Pile Three,

the page of coins, the ten of coins, the king of swords

Your care for them, your affection, was always so consistent, so genuine and deep since the very beginning of this bond. Since the very first time that you felt truly connected to them, in that moment so simple and intimate but that showed you how much your minds and hearts are aligned...

But as beautiful and meaningful as it was... it was just a single moment. Just one moment that was enough for you to be sure to want to get to know more about them, to get closer to them and to connect more. But also just one moment in which it ever happened. That understanding and spark between you that never appeared again, no matter how much you waited.

Time after time, challenge after challenge, no matter what they did or how much distance they put between your hearts, you always continued to look for them. For that person and soul that you felt in that one single moment... But that they kept on hiding so well no matter what.

It wasn't really a lie or an act meant to mislead you... but it was something that is not in their character. To be so free and open and close to someone. It isn't something that they do so easily or so often. And you know it well now, after not being ever able to see them this way again no matter how much you waited for them to "come back".

It became an unintentional bait. It made you care and look for someone that you felt so special and worth it, just because of that one moment of deep and unexpected connection, nourished by those little tiny bits of gentleness that you heard in their voice, saw in their gaze that met yours every time... But that safety, that fake openness and closeness that confused you so many times, was just a consequence to all the affection and care that you gave them. It was only them feeling comfortable in the safe space that you created for them in your heart. It was just a slight nourishment of something that they never wanted to take seriously, but that still was so sweet to feel and have around sometimes.

Your affection and desire of closeness was so genuine and honest... but they used it to create something so complicated and consuming, something that takes so much of you and gives so much to them. Every time they need it. A constant source of understanding, of patience, of excuses and protection to them and their actions. So much for so little, so convenient for them to have by their side... They transformed something so pure into something so calculated and 'useful', so easy to take or to put aside... but they won't be able to do it for much longer now. Not when you, as they consume you, are starting to ask the right questions, allowing your mind to take control of the situation that went on for too long.

Hold on to those thoughts, those observations, those questions and doubts that fill your mind every time they decide that they don't want to be around you now. Hold onto those fears of being just an option, someone that comes and goes, someone that they just keep here for fun... because all of this can't possibly be just overthinking. It has a deeper meaning and you know it too. You know it because you wouldn't be here reading these words, feeling this sadness, this grip on your heart if it wasn't so.

It is time to be the one that puts some space between you. But not just for a moment, just because of a whim, like they love so much to do once in a while... Do it intentionally, do it to protect yourself, to honour yourself and your pure heart that gave so many chances, so much time, to someone that used it only to play around. No matter the circumstance, the situation, the relationship... it is just not right. To be treated this way, to receive so little, when you gift so much of yourself every single time.

P.s. And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡

→ ( ♡ send me a little thank you ♡ )

[whataperfectwasteoftime]

Where was this “censorship is bad” attitude when it came to the confederate flag. Or does this only apply to pedophilia.

Anon, I know you aren't actually interested in the answer to this question, because if you were you wouldn't throw it into my inbox like an accusation while hiding behind the mask of anonymity, but I'm going to treat this question like it was sent in good faith, because I think the issue with this argument is that people aren't willing to apply nuance to situations and to paint everything with the same brush.

I'll be honest, this question DID trip me up. I feel that these situations are different... but WHY? I'm going to make an attempt to answer, but do keep in mind that I'm a white woman and that readers of color would be better able to articulate the arguments here, but I don't want to burden them with responding to this as they have already spoken up and have had to defend their presence in this fandom more than they have had to already.

1. Tagging/Consent:

The fic featuring Joel and his daughter was tagged with all appropriate warnings. Readers could read the warnings and determine whether they wanted to read the fic or not. The themes (that most, including me, would find disturbing) were communicated at the top, and if someone ignored the warnings and continued to read and be upset by the content, that's on them.

The use of a confederate flag (as a tired and harmful stereotype of "southern" aesthetic) was NOT tagged. Readers did not know about the existence of disturbing/upsetting content because they were not warned. Readers were unaware and could not consent, and as a result some of those readers very politely (AND PRIVATELY, AHEM) asked that the author remove the reference, explaining their reasons. Things escalated when the author refused.

Alternatively, the author could have kept the reference in and tagged it as "the main love interest is a piece of shit racist" and then people could have decided if they wanted to interact with it.

2. Audience response

These two situations were met with a very different response. It might not FEEL different to those blogs that feel they are fighting for taking disturbing and/or harmful content off of the internet right now, but it is, I promise.

In the case of the confederate flag: first, the author was messaged privately and asked to remove the content. They refused. Then, several posts were made explaining the harmful history of the confederate flag and why it's inappropriate in a fic that isn't tagged appropriately warning the reader of racism. At no point did anyone "call out" people who interacted positively with the fic. No one made lists of people who liked it and called them racists. People only attempted to point out WHY it is harmful, AND educate others on the history of the flag, because as many people pointed out, non-Americans don't necessarily have the same context.

Now, in the current situation, that's not what happened. To my knowledge, no one reached out privately to the author about it. (BUT once again I must refer you to point 1, where this was tagged appropriately with warnings and any reader should have been aware of what they were consuming). The reaction was to publicly call out not just the author, but everyone who had interacted with the post, and then started picking fights with others who were adding commentary. The "I'm just raising awareness" argument falls on deaf ears because that's NOT what is happening. If that were the case, no one would have posted screenshots of my blog and insinuated that I, as a mom, abused my own child. I let that one go in the interest of keeping things civil, but that is a personal, inflammatory attack on me and does not fall under the guise of "raising awareness." This WAS meant to incite a negative response towards specific people in the fandom and we all know it.

3. Miscellaneous thoughts

I read the post detailing Tumblr's terms of service and it wasn't entirely clear to me whether fictional content involving minors is included on the list of violations to the ToS, and frankly, it doesn't really matter to me. The fic was taken down, and from screenshots of the original fic, it looks to me like the author was internationally trying to be inflammatory, which is their perogative, and I'm not particularly bothered that the fic was taken down. I'm not crying "boohoo, censorship!" because I want to read it or because I think incest is good, actually.

So it was removed. But is writing it a crime? No, it's not. Just because something may violate a website's ToS doesn't make it a crime, and people are throwing around that accusation regarding this fic, and it simply isn't true. That's where I got involved, because I'm a precise and literal person and I like it when things mean what they are supposed to mean. That fic wasn't illegal. Gross? Sure. In bad taste? That's up to opinion, and mine is yes, but my opinion on whether it's yucky or harmful does not make it a crime, nor does the fact that it violates the terms of service of Tumblr dot com. I chimed in because words like "illegal" have specific definitions, and this does not meet it.

Thanks for the question, I do hope you read and think about my response, and if anyone else has anything to add regarding the difference between these two scenarios, I'd welcome the discussion because I'm sure there are nuances I've missed.

[sugarpuptard]

Jirai Journaling Prompts

i tried to make safe for those who aren't ready 4 recovery, yet still have some mental health focus that can be good for processing and not just trying to fix things ^w^ some of them might seem like recovery questions still but its rlly how you answer them that makes it recovery focused or not, i think most are neutral enough to be able to go either way and some are just fun ones

♡ what is something that set you off today? how did it feel?

♡ what was today's outfit? if u didn't dress up, what do you wish you wore?

♡ write a letter to someone who you can never forgive even tho u can never send it

♡ did i do anything that seems or is harmful today? how did it make you feel? (no need to feel shame or try and change it, this is just so you are more consciously aware of it and how you are feeling because of it)

♡ whats a place you would visit to disappear for awhile? what would you do there?

♡ what is something broken or toxic that you find beautiful in any way?

♡ what things do you wish you can do but cant?

♡ what's a piece of advice that actually made you feel worse?

♡ what emotions do you feel most comfortable sitting in?

♡ what's something that hurts but you never wanna let go of?

♡ describe a day you wish you could have? (feel free to be as unhealthy and self destructive and do whatever you want in this there are no limits, nobody is stoping you here)

♡ what outfits do u wish you have? what kinda styles? do you like styles outside of jirai kei?

♡ do you like being online? how is your internet presence and how do you wish it could be? are you different online vs in real life?

♡ is your style very connected to how you see yourself as a person, and if so how?

♡ why do you like jirai kei? how has it made you feel?

♡ who is your favorite person or closest person? how do they make you feel? if u dont have anyone, who do you hate most and why?

♡ if u have an oshi who is it and why?

♡ what are some thoughts you could never say out loud or share with anyone? toxic or not

♡ if you use substances, which ones are your favorites and why?

♡ write 3-5 songs you would add to a playlist to have a breakdown to & why you're adding them

♡ if you could design your own jirai or any other fashion clothes, what would it be like?

♡ what characters do you relate to the most and why?

if i can think of more maybe i'll make more i dunno yet tho TwT ive been trying to find journal prompts for myself tho so making a list here sounded good, maybe some others would like it too! btw i wrote these for keeping a private journal as well not exactly for journaling on a blog, some of these prompts i wouldn't write anywhere publicly but ik i cant stop anyone lul but thought that i should make that known anyways

[cowboywithacunt]

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CONTENT WARNING ;

This blog is an 18+ only kink/nsfw blog. I'm going to be posting explicit text and images. Please be aware that some of my kinks may be triggering to others! A full list of my kinks and limits are under the cut.

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RULES BYF ;

🐄 DNI: Men DNI blogs, detrans/misgendering/trans fetishization blogs run by cis people, cishet men, weight loss/thinspo blogs, feederism blogs, MAPs, minors and ageless blogs

🐎 My asks and dms are open to anyone! Please respect my boundaries, and don't send me stuff that involves kinks I list as a limit. Also be aware that I might not always respond! Sometimes I just ain't got the energy, don't know what to say, am offline, or just aren't interested at the moment. I'm fine with sexting, pics, and roleplaying. Do not message me several more times if I don't respond to your first message.

🐄 I block liberally! It's nothing personal, just how I curate my experience. Please don't circumvent blocks for any reason.

🐎 Feel free to claim an emoji, but I will remove you from the claimed emojis list if you don't send anything for a long while. It's nothing personal, just a way of keeping organized! If you start sending asks again I'll put you right back on.

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INFO ABOUT ME ;

🐎 I'm Harvey! 22, transgender (FtM), he/him, bisexual, country boy who's learned to embrace it as a thing people are into lol. Currently living on the west coast, originally from Georgia. I'm fat and hairy and masc, take it or leave it. 5'5". Deer boy tbh 🦌

🐄 I'm strictly masc, have been on T for about 4 years, and I got top surgery done last summer. I don't have bottom surgery, and probably never will.

🐎 I'm happy to be a dom or sub for any and all genders! I enjoy both roles equally. Same goes for topping and bottoming. I'm about as versatile as a guy can get!

🐄 Asks and dms are open to anyone who's interested!

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KINKS, FETISHES, ETC ;

🐎 CNC; includes rape play, dubcon, somnophilia, intoxication, primal play, and kidnapping.

🐄 Fauxcest; may include some ageplay elements, such as MILFs/DILFs, cougars, etc.

🐎 Humiliation and degradation; includes exhibitionism, voyeurism, pet play, free use, force fem/masc, misgendering, and detrans.

🐄 Monster fucking; werewolves, vampires, tentacles, you get the picture. May include non-human genitalia references.

🐎 BDSM; mostly pertains to bondage, but some light impact play might also be present. Nothing beyond spanking or slapping!

🐄 Overstimulation and understimulation; too many orgasms and not enough orgasms. Edging included in this.

🐎 Breeding; including impregnation of others, not of myself.

🐄 Misc; wilderness sex, cowboys/rednecks, putting city assholes in their place, T4T, bears, butches, sex toys, fighting for dominance, light gun/knife play, medical settings, older men/women, trans supremacy, furries, leather. Open to trying new things!

🐎 I do not tag any of these on reblogs! If you genuinely cannot stomach one or more of these things, just do your mental health a favor and don't follow me. Keep yourself safe!

🐄 Please keep in mind that all fantasies I post about are in the context of consensual roleplay between adults.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LIMITS ;

🐎 Heavy blood, gore, death, necrophilia.

🐄 Scat, watersports, emetophilia. Very light omorashi stuff is fine.

🐄 Choking, beating.

🐎 Detrans/misgendering directed at me.

🐎 DDLG and similar kinks that focus on infantalization.

🐄 Race play; if someone wants to call me a stupid little white boy or something, that's fine, but anything even edging towards white supremacy isn't cool with me

🐎 It's okay if you're into the above things! I won't yuck somebody's yum. You can follow and interact. Just please don't send me asks or dms involving those kinks, and be aware that I may not follow back if you post a lot of one of these.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TERMINOLOGY FOR ME I'M OKAY WITH ;

🐎 Sir, mister, bitch, faggot, whore, slut, masc terms, sweetheart, darling, buck

🐄 Dick, cock, t-dick, clit, cunt, pussy, chest, hole(s)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TERMINOLOGY FOR ME I'M NOT OKAY WITH ;

🐎 Daddy, puppy, fem terms

🐄 Tits, boobs, vagina, front hole

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you're not sure about something, just ask! I don't bite!

[dervampireprince]

[dni minors, dni blogs that have no 18+ age listed in their bio] astarion x trans man! reader/tav /// smut, dysphoria comfort, reader's chest is un-described and untouched, reader has a vulva, soft dom top astarion, bottom reader

whenever there's a day when you feel off, wrong, you're hyper aware of your body and how it doesn't feel right to you, he'll notice. perhaps not at first, but the way your posture is different, the way you reject and shy away from his touch, don't flush or scowl at his flirting.

it's late when he decides he has to ask you what's wrong, him not being used to having others to care about, to worry for.

"have i done something wrong?" his voice is quiet and yet it startles you from your thoughts.

"no? no, of course no," guilt festers in you. "i'm sorry."

"there's no need to apologise, darling. as i've been told by someone quite dear to me, there's nothing wrong with not wanting to be touched."

"it's not that. i do, i," you breathe. "i want you to touch me quite badly."

"then i don't understand."

his fingers twitch, wanting to reach for you as your eyes flicker to the mirror across the room.

"when you look at me... what do you see? that is, i mean... you could have anyone you wanted, and i know what you'll say to that. and i believe you. that you want me. i just, sometimes it's hard thinking about the men you've been with, hells just men in general, and then... how they compare to... me. because sometimes, sometimes it's hard to see myself as... as..."

you trail off, aware of your shaking breath, aware of the wetness on your eyelashes, aware that you want to bury yourself against him but find yourself scared.

just as you start to wonder if you've ruined something, his hands hover by your face, not touching, waiting. and so you nod, and his he cups his palms against your cheeks, tilting your head to look at him.

"my sweet boy."

those words and his voice make everything the smallest bit better, you hold back a sob and place your head into the crook of his neck. him calling you a boy both soothing and comforting, but also always slightly arouses you.

"you know i love you? exactly as you are, because of who you are."

"i know."

he raises one of your hands to his lips and kisses it.

"would you let me show you?"

he's not used to being so careful with someone else, not that he hasn't been gentle before but it's never been out of his own desire to cherish the person he's with. but perhaps he can understand, in his own way, feeling disconnected to your own body.

"you're such a handsome man, such a pretty boy. and aren't i ever so lucky. when i was a child i would fantasize about some dashing prince, but i could have never imagined i'd find one like you. you're far lovelier than any dream. you're real. and for some unknown reason managed to see something good in me. you're the most incredible person i've ever met, and i'm going to help you see that."

your shirt stays on if you wish it, as much as he loves every inch of your body, and will continue to regardless of if it stays as it is, or if parts of it change. but he wants you to be comfortable.

he kisses you, trailing down from your lips to your neck, never meaning to get carried away there but always does. you find it hard to mind though as he kisses, teeth nipping but not drinking, leaving faint little marks. he likes leaving marks on you, a reminder that you're here, that you're proud to be with him.

his hands slide down your sides, over your stomach, they pull at the laces of your trousers, sliding them off you legs, leaving your bottom half bare, waiting for his attention.

you flush as he maintains eye contact with you as he slides a hand under your ankle, then down your leg as his mouth moves with it, kissing you calf, next to your knee, up your thigh. and if there's more to grab there, he reveals in it, adoring any curves, your softness. he pauses when he reaches the top of your thigh and chuckles, smirks to himself

"such a sensitive boy, i haven't even touched you anywhere intimate yet and look," you gasped as he glides a couple of fingers between your folds and then holds them up. "already wet for me."

he slides his fingers back against you, teasing around you before thrusting in, curling them upwards as he lowers his head.

"we can'tbe neglecting your cock can we darling? it's straining so hard. and just because it looks different than mine, doesn't make it less of a cock, does it?"

he stays blinking up at you until he realise he wants an answer and you shake your head no.

"good boy, that's right," he purrs and you want to feel condescended, but you just whine, flushing hot, wanting to be good for him, wanting to be his good boy, wanting him to call you that again. "and what shall we do with your pretty cock? shall i suck you off?"

you nod your head, eyes pleading with him and he laughs, not to make fun of you, but because your neediness, your eagerness for him endears him.

"very well then," his lips close around your cock, sucking and suctioning while his fingers continue to stroke inside you, your hands slip into his hair and tug accidentally and he moans around you.

"cheeky boy," he pulls back. "do you wish to come like this or..."

"fuck me," you say, and then. "please? please, astarion, i need you."

astarion always flushes when you tell him you need him. he slides up your body, "i suppose i shouldn't tease, you've been deprived of my touch all week, my poor boy thinking he didn't deserve this. don't worry, i'll fuck you like need."

his cock slips between you, holding you close, kissing your neck, hands stroking your waist as he pushes inside of you,

"that's it, such a good boy. always taking me so well," he loses control of his voice as he fucks you, murmuring praises as his hips snap against you, letting you tug him up to kiss you, pressing one of your hands down into the pillow so he can hold it.

he tells you that you're a good as you both come, he tells you that you're a good boy as you twitch, oversensitive, as he cleans you off, and he tells you that you're a good boy as you drift off in his arms.

[kiame-sama]

Since this apparently needs to be said, I reserve the right to block ANYONE for ANYTHING (including but not limited to; being rude, being annoying, being part of the four types of people I don't allow on my blog, demanding things from me, ect). I am very open and vocal about who I don't allow; Minors, Pedophiles, Racists, and Zoophiles. If you fall in any of these four categories, FUCK OFF. My space is not safe for people who do shitty things.

*Note: I am aware Furries are not the same as Zoos. Furries can stay, Zoos get the fuck out.

I don't have issues with those who enjoy BTS, I won't write yandere for them because those are real Humans that can actually be affected by 'fan-writing'. I love certain YouTubers, I will NOT write yandere using their names or likeness because- again- these are real people who are actually impacted by fan-writing. I love certain actors, I will NOT write them as yanderes EVER. If they are real, don't ask for writing of them. Plain and simple.

I write for characters, not people. Characters aren't real. They don't feel. They don't think. They aren't real.

If you look at my profile and go "I don't see a certain fandom" you have two choices. 1. Ask if I know the fandom or will write for it. 2. Move on. DO NOT DEMAND I WRITE FOR YOU OR CRY I DON'T WRITE WHAT YOU WANT. THIS ISN'T YOUR PAGE/BLOG, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU THINK I SHOULD DO. You are not me and have zero right to demand shit from me.

I write about a very fucked up and dark topic that comes with fucked up and dark subjects. I warn on my blog, my blog header, my rules, and the actual fic I am positing, if you ignore those warnings and get hurt by your own stupidity, that is a you problem and I don't feel badly for you. I gravitate towards murderers/psychopaths/ the mentally unsound and I will write them as exactly that. I will not sugar-coat a psychopath who has slaughtered men, women, and children because you think crying and clutching your pearls does anything or you don't agree with an accurate representation of them. I will not let you hide behind PMs, I will screenshot and post those threats for everyone else to see, don't test me.

I have rules and I uphold them regardless of who thinks they can break them. If you think I was incorrect in my enforcement of said rules, talk to me about it. Should it be made clear you were blocked for a lack of information (an age above 18) and you clarify you are in fact aligned with my rules, I will remove the block that easily. If you bitch at me and try to cuss me out, you go on my "fuck you" list and will be blocked repeatedly regardless of various side profiles/blogs.

Act like you have a modicum of sense, please. If you have not done any of the above, this is not directed at you. If you are unhappy I have rules and a set list of people not allowed on my blog, you can get the fuck out too.

[callmeajorallie]

Got bored, made some art in regards to ii 16 & 17 but the gkgg au instead (With text)

(Without text)

On other news, here's a rant about this au because why tf not + this au has been my hyperfixation for months now despite the fact it is literally a roleswap au & just things I have been pondering ever since ii 15 came out (Which for those who don't know what the gkgg au is, here. Because you'll need context to understand half of this.) I kinda always thought Mecintosh would be the one to side with Paintbrush, because I don't really think 4s would turn on Cobs, but then again, with how Cobs relationship is portrayed in the au, it is hard for me to see any of them breaking off from him (Besides 4 but it was more like Cobs broke off from him). Next, there's the whole ending thingy, which god damn would the endings be different tenfold, my source? Now I couldn't find the exact post, however, I do recall when swap Sliver was revealed (fulfilling the role of Candle), he was given a backstory as to how he discovered the shine or something (My memories fuzzy okay?), & that it was stated that him & knife were brothers, now why is this important? Simple, as much as we're aware, Cobs did not create the contestants. With this backstory supporting the fact, albeit this post I am referring to could be very much outdated for various reasons. But my point still stands until proven otherwise, so take it with a grain of salt Now, another thing that would change things tenfold is gkgg mp4's motives. Why would he delete the contestants (Also I'm pretty sure the explanation as for how bro's able to do so is the same), does he view them as an obstacle? Does he want to reconnect with his creator who he pushed away by being emotionally inept? Is he doing it because he can & he's just being a massive bastard? Who knows, I don't. Anyway, I could see mp4 telling Test Tube & Baseball that they aren't real to turn them against Cobs, with the statement being complete bullshit but bro has enough evidence to back it up. Also Mepad going against mp4 because bro wants answers & 3gs singing the future is so yesterday because mp4 needed to distract him somehow from everything else going on. Anyway, that was my rant about an ii roleswap au that has consumed me for the past several months at least The gkgg ii au belongs to @maxphilippa, supported by @burgycreeper405-blog (I am scared for my life if Max or Burgy finds this my social anxiety will not be able to handle it)

[mari-lair]

Shit I might want to read this, it looks cute. What is this?

I am assuming you're talking about the manga with a cute art style, the one with this trio, which I love dearly

If so, I am very sorry Anon, my blog is misleading propaganda. None of these three are the protagonists, or even sidekicks to the protagonist, they are either stuck as a gag character for half of the manga, pushed to the side, given an antagonistic role/a role that have a diferent belief from the mcs, or all of the above simultaneously.

This is not their story.

They do eventually get focus, there is a reason I have grown attached to their arcs more than the protagonist's stories, but I am aware most people do not vibe with them. Many actually hate these three. They aren't the heart of this story. If you read this manga, rest assured it won't be for them.

So let me try to give you a more accurate idea of what the story is about without any major spoilers/details.

The manga is called "Toilet Bond Hanako-kun" which is a strange mainstream translation considering "suicide boy Hanako-kun" is the more accurate one. Very different vibes between those two translations, right? That's how the manga feels too, it is a mix of strange and goofy and 'oh, shit got dark'.

The story takes place in a fantasy world where supernaturals and ghosts exist and the trio in the spotlight are these three goofballs!

The red eyed girl is our main protagonist, Yashiro Nene, she is in love with the idea of love, a true hopeless romantic!

She attracts trouble and have a wild imagination, easily getting stuck inside her own fantasies as a form to both find strength and avoid tragedies. She is an insecure but very kind soul with a lot of hope in her heart, but she is not that smart. While she does have her moments, if you dig strategy stories and logical characters this story isn't for you, it's more about whimsy and vibes.

The boy with the cap is the main lead and our titular boy "Hanako." He is a ghost, more specifically a supernatural, which are ghost whose soul got corrupted for staying in our world instead of moving on once they died. He is also the main love interest. A mischievous morally grey spirit with no self-love, no hope, and a lovely mix of being apathetic and caring too much. He is dangerous, selfish, awkward, and possessive and he hates it.

The blond one is Minamoto Kou, an exorcist who never exorcised anything, he is a kind and insecure guy, not very smart logic-wise but his emotional intelligence is surprisingly good (bad habits aside). He is selfless to the point of concern, and starts out determined to be Hanako's eternal enemy but they become besties by accident. He is desperate to help, very determined, very impulsive, very easy to trust. Horrible at being an exorcist.

The friendship between these three is very sweet. You feel like it will be a generic love triangle on their intro but no, they all care about each other. Romance may be a big thing in this manga but this trio are besties.

The humor can be hit or miss, sometimes it's so silly or dry that I love it, but sometimes it's passes my bar and becomes overly exaggerated. Some of the gags just don't land (at least to me), and if you think about the story too much, is not hard to find inconsistencies, but the main sell of this manga is character comflict, which is usually real good, and the supernaturals elements/stories which are the main events of the manga. All the supernatural stories are amazing.

I don't want to spoil the powers and rumors and tragedies but here are some 'vibes' of the supernatural elements.

It is a rollercoaster of cool ideas and vibes and creative ways to explore the wishes and fears of the characters.

A lot changes through the story, this trio won't be the main dynamic forever but it is the heart at the start, and the supernatural stuff is strong during the entire manga! So if the pros sound better than the cons, go check it out!

You can read it: here

[olderthannetfic]

Genuine question: what's the point of writing fanfic? As in, what's the purpose? No one in the fandom I'm in comments on fics and I even got told off by one person for doing so, as it "encourages bad writers and makes them think they're good". So it seems that it's a lot like book writing, where people work hard and are creative, but instead of getting paid and getting comments on the work, you just sit there silently hoping someone will press the kudos button and make a number go up. I feel like that time and work could be better spent on making something you might get some kind of profit off of. Don't get me wrong, I love doodling fanart, but I don't post it, as I'm aware that there's no point to doing so, and while it's a nice way to fill the time on a commute, it's not something that takes me as much time and effort as fanfic does. So... why do people bother? Sometimes I describe ideas I have and people I know in my fandom will tell me I should write it, but I don't see why. I get more interaction from just saying "imagine if [thing here]" than I would by sitting down, writing for hours, editing and posting [thing here], so what would the point be? I'm not punching down or going "haha women and their fanfic lol!", I genuinely do not get what the point is and this blog feels like it might have someone reading who knows the answer.

--

Do you make art for profit? Genuine question.

There's nothing inherently wrong with being motivated primarily by external factors, but it's not actually why a lot of people create things, whether it's books or recipes or doodles in a notepad.

I enjoy the actual process of writing.

I think many people lose sight of that aspect in an era where tons of <500-word fics that are mostly outlines and "Imagine if..." posts get disproportionate attention for being easy to consume. But the satisfaction of doing a bigger art piece and doing it right is real and motivates a hell of a lot of creation.

I suppose you might be thinking "Okay, but why not just write it alone and never post?", but I like sharing. Showing off my finished creation is part of the joy, and sharing with other people like me is too. But those aren't quite the same thing as worrying about kudos. It's like dressing nicely when you leave the house because you feel great when you know you look good vs. needing another person to tell you you look good.

To be honest, though, this type of feeling has grown in me the better I've gotten at a craft. The closer my finished projects get to the vision in my head, the easier it is to find them fulfilling and to be excited to share them. When I fall short of my own ambitions, it's discouraging no matter how much attention I might get from others.

I feel like it's time for my regular reblog of Adam Westbrook's video essay series The Long Game.

The third and least known in the series is all about this idea of who you're making art for if you're not getting material rewards in the short term. It talks a lot about autotelicity—being internally driven instead of externally.

--

But if you really just want clicks, anon, start a blog that accepts anon asks and posts about wanky stuff. Actually tag things, unlike me, so people can find you.

No, writing for attention isn't worth it.

The time investment is too great and your brain will always fixate on the times people didn't respond instead of the times they did.

But that's not actually why most people write.

[nico-esoterica]

How to stop being a peasant in your own life

It's still Leo season and as a Leo stellium, I'm here to encourage y'all to get in the habit (or knuckle down on) being ruthlessly self-centered and to put yourself on a pedestal at all times. The gag is that the more secure with yourself you are, you actually never feel any inclination to be rude or mistreat others. It'd be beneath you. So don't think you're gonna be some narcissist or something. Relax.

But this means prioritizing yourself. Many, many, too many of you were raised w/o boundaries, are chronic overgivers, and have no idea what 'no' means in relation to others, esp those around you.

This is how you start treating yourself like royalty. Baby steps create strides over time:

Create small promises with yourself and keep them (even if it's just eating)

Accommodate yourself unapologetically (do you need more space/time for things? do you need people to be mindful of something about you? tell them. think about where you feel discomfort and let the people around you help you or find ways to help yourself w/o guilt or shame -- there's usually blogs/youtube vids/tiktoks of people who give tips about everything uncomfy known to man you can learn from)

Treat yourself with dignity and compassion (hold yourself to a higher standard but be understanding about it)

Always talk to yourself like you would to a child (gently, encouragingly, constructively, lovingly)

Find something to be proud of yourself about everyday (even if it's just getting up)

Be your biggest cheerleader with your tasks (even if they're small)

Practice self-love by pretending strangers are describing what they love about you

Practice mirror work by looking in the mirror and seeing yourself through the perspective of an artist (who's in love w/ you tbh) and try to imagine what they'd find alluring or interesting about your body

Think of yourself as a character and think of what'd make you unique in a story (be biased and have fun!)

Do something small for yourself today that will make tomorrow easier or that you'll feel good about tomorrow

Think of an old limiting belief you can say goodbye to and remind yourself that it's gone if it comes up

Find little ways to take care of yourself that help you feel safe and appreciated (change your sheets, buy labels/post its for reminders, trash expired things, delete/archive old files on your tech)

Reflect on current boundaries within your relationships and start (safely) telling people you aren't available to do xyz, xyz isn't for you, you don't want to do xyz, and "No."

Researching if there are discounts/affordable versions of what you love (search reddit and twt communities for tips)

Adopt the mindset that everything in your life is easy and never going out of the way for anything/anyone unless you're prioritized (this makes you become aware of who/what's been taking advantage of you in your life)

Never doing anything which compromises your safety and to stop 'going against your gut' even if you're not 100% sure

If anyone/anything in your life doesn't make you feel good, find a way to put (safe) distance between you and it until you can cut it/them off completely. Mutual closure is subjective and isn't always necessary. Prioritize your peace over a lifetime of resentment

Devote yourself to joy in any way possible. Other people's opinions don't belong to you

Think of something your inner child always wanted to do and find a way to do it :)

[cripplecharacters]

I know we (disabled people) aren't a monolith and all that, we'll all have different opinions on what is and is not offensive, but I want to ask if you can explain your opinion on cosplaying a disabled character a little more, because I don't really understand how portraying a character accurately, disabilities included within reason, would be offensive. I could see the use of an aid that other people could be actually making use of being harmful, and I can see not treating the disability in a respectful manner by making a joke of them being harmful, but as far as the inclusion of scar to cosplay a canonically scarred character goes, I feel like excluding them seems more offensive to me, it feels like erasure of the character's disability. If for example someone cosplayed a character I made that I was using to portray my own disabilities, and the cosplayer didn't include those disabilities when they could do so, I'd find that really insulting and hurtful. I guess it feels like too nuanced of a topic for a blanket This Is Good or This Is Bad answer if that makes sense? Sorry if this comes across as antagonistic or hostile, I'm not trying to pick a fight, I just want to understand your perspective.

Hey, I'm fully aware that there are a lot of opinions going either way (from "literally everything is fine" to "abled people shouldn't cosplay disabled characters at all no matter what"). I did a longer reply about the same thing in this ask that maybe will explain some of it better. There are also opinions of other mods on this in our #cripping up tag.

I don't consider not including a character's disability in cosplay as erasure, since to me it's just dressing up as a character with your own body and all. I think everyone should be able to cosplay everyone regardless of what their "factory settings" are, just don't pretend to be a minority that you aren't a part of in your normal life. I see pretending to have a disability for "character accuracy" as more offensive, your canvas for cosplay is yourself and if you don't have that disability then you just don't and that's completely fine. For the sake of not being accidentally insensitive I won't be making comparisons to other kinds of "pretending to be a minority for cosplay", especially since most other examples would be much worse anyway. To me, this whole practice is just... unnecessary. Work with what you have the same way disabled cosplayers shouldn't cover their disabilities when cosplaying abled characters.

I see your example of a potential cosplayer not including the disability in a character that you have made. I make disabled characters too, a lot of them even (probably granted for a mod on this blog). Some of them share my disabilities. And I think that we just have fundamentally different opinions because I'd vastly prefer for someone without my disability to just omit it rather than pretend parts of their face don't move or aren't symmetric. It'd feel like mockery to me, I don't want anyone to pretend to have a facial difference for any reason. If someone tried to dress up as literally me, I'd have the same opinion - do the clothes and goatee, but leave my gait disorder and half-moving mouth out of this. Obviously these things are part of my identity to an extent, and they make me who I am, but pretending to have them to imitate me feels more akin to bullying than authenticity. To be clear I get why you have that opinion, I just feel completely differently about it. And I don't think either of us is wrong or not wrong, it's just a different view of the same thing.

At the end of the day though I don't really care about how people cosplay their blorbos if all they do is dress up and take some photos like most cosplayers do. I just answer questions when directly asked rather than go out of my way to talk about this since in comparison to a lot of other issues this doesn't have big enough of an impact on me to be too bothered by it (if I had to do a list of ableist things I'm annoyed by I can't imagine a world where cosplay would make the list). I'm guessing that most askers don't know any handy person with an FD they can ask that so they come here, and I try to be helpful to the best of my ability.

I think the smartest thing a person can do is read a few opinions of different people and make a decision for themself. There is no one convenient consensus to follow (that I know of?), so it is what it is. If there is a potential cosplayer who is reading this ask and thinks that the asker's opinion makes more sense to them, then that's what they should probably do. The only thing I insist on is that they have fun cosplaying (rather than stressing over what person on the internet is right) because otherwise what's the point...

What I do consider important personally is the original thing I brought up, which is how abled people use facial difference as a costume in order to scare or disgust others. That is insensitive, offensive, and always in poor taste, it spreads misinformation about visibly disabled people and creates a negative image about a whole group of people, a lot of whom dread this time of the year (as mentioned in the article). Talking about this is in my opinion way more important than any Comic Con cosplay of a fictional character will ever be or has ever been, which probably influences my opinion on cosplay. When I think "fake facial differences", I'm reminded of horror villains with make-up that tries and fails to imitate how visibly disabled people look like. I associate fake scars and fake burns and fake skull shapes with this problem strongly, and as you can guess I don't like it at all. I find the authenticity argument hard to believe for myself when what is usually originally portrayed is an abomination of VFX designed to make us look scary; for most of these characters there is nothing good coming out of their "FD representation" anyway. If Freddy Krueger magically started to be shown as abled I'd be glad, not mad that the character who genuinely horribly affected how people from my community are seen is no longer doing that.

This might be a radical take, but most existing characters with facial differences literally shouldn't have them. The way they are portrayed shapes how people are seen for the worse and if I had a "disability erasure" button for all the Scars and Voldemorts out there I'd make them as abled as possible.

Is this how all people with facial differences feel? I don't think I can go and ask each of them but definitely no, it's just the opinion of A Guy on the Internet (many such cases!) and rather than anything else I just want to share my view on stuff, so askers can hopefully make a more informed decision - whether that's writing, drawing, cosplay, etc. If someone reads my take and decides that they want to do the opposite, at least they have a bit of context on how some people might feel about it, and I think that's still valuable.

This is my opinion on this and I hope this clears it up more,

mod Sasza

[yukidragon]

I can imagine the SWWSDJ Boys trying a period cramp simulator-

Like imagine Jack was curious and wanted to try and when he full on tried it he felt like crying 😭

Who knew a big guy like him could feel so much pain from a lil machine 😔

And after it was over he’s hugging his sunshine so tight while saying “Sunshine I am so sorry…”

And that’s why Jack takes ur period cramps srsly 😅

Hahaha, that's a pretty funny and cute image. Actually, for Sunshine in Hell, Jack doesn't actually need a cramp simulator to get a taste of the pain his sunshine experiences during a period. All he needs is a soul bond with a sunshine possessing a working uterus signed up for the monthly period pain subscription package. Which, you know, Alice does indeed have.

Much like her creator. Who is dealing with those nasty cramps yet again right now. Ow. Periods suck. I'd like to unsubscribe please.

Yes I'm using my OTP to vent my frustrations about my uterus beating me up and taking my lunch money to buy some chocolate. It's my blog and I can be as self-indulgent as I want here.

I've actually touched on this particular topic before in a previous post, though I was a bit vague since I was theorizing about the game's canon. Since we're now strictly talking about my personal story's canon here, I can be a lot more definitive.

In Sunshine in Hell, Jack is influenced by his sunshine's physical state and vice-versa. He can feel whatever pain she's going through, though just a fraction of it. I figure it tops out at around 50% max of what Alice is feeling. The reverse is also true.

It's also affected by proximity. The further away Jack is, the less he can catch what his sunshine's feeling. It also makes Alice less aware of what he is feeling, which is why he left the apartment to jack off to thoughts of her without getting caught. He just underestimated how much horny energy he was radiating and how far it could reach to still affect her.

It being affected by proximity is also why Jack didn't realize Alice was in the middle of a pain episode when she was miles away.

It all ties into Jack's powers and the bond he and Alice share. They have a piece of each other's souls, which causes them to bleed into one another.

Both of them have the ability to suppress what feelings they send out to the other, but a lot of it is conscious choice verses subconscious longing. The bond between them is very heavily influenced by consent and what they actually want, even if they don't realize it.

Jack just has the advantage of knowing about the bond and more or less how it works. He is very careful about what he shares with his sunshine.

Alice and Jack are both lonely souls who want to be seen, felt, understood, and cared for. Their bond is empathy is supernaturally charged, which can cause them to share emotions, getting drunk, some thoughts, and even pregnancy hormones.

Oh, and of course, the fun kind of horny hormones and physical pleasure. Sexy times are twice the fun when you can get a taste of the pleasure you're giving your partner~

Though there's nothing sexy about periods, I can tell you that much. Alice might be getting hit with horny hormones along with mood-changing hormones, but the nasty cramps are enough of a deterrent from doing anything about the horny.

Of course... sex does help with period pain, even if it can be pretty messy. Jack certainly would be very eager to help Alice feel better with his loving, pleasurable ministrations~

Unfortunately that's not really going to happen the two get in a romantic relationship. Alice isn't going to be comfortable with a casual hookup even on a good day, or even for the sake of, ahem, physical therapy.

Naturally, the first time Alice gets her period after Jack shows up is going to be a nasty surprise for him. Intense abdominal pain along with hormonal mood swings aren't something he's used to. Even if he's only getting half of what Alice experiences at most, it's going to hit Jack hard.

Really, it's probably going to hit him harder than the bullets that took his life. A couple gunshots to the head means that he died pretty quickly and painlessly.

Granted, what happened to Jack after that was a hell of a lot worse.

Really, Jack is more aware of physical sensations now. He felt cold in the hell he was banished to because that was the closest thing to sensation he had there. The place was an absence of sensation, where all he could do was think and feel nothing. After 40 years of sensory deprivation, reality is almost an overload of sensation.

Sooooo... needless to say, Jack isn't going to have a fun time.

The worst part is Jack has to hide what's wrong with him. Alice is miserable, so he can't burden her knowing that he feels her pain. Also, he doesn't want her to know just how deep their connection is until he can feel certain that it won't chase her away. She forgot the agreement they made and was so scared by his presence at the start.

He can't risk losing her...

Fortunately, if there's one thing Jack has learned from his previous life and his time trapped in hell, it's how to persevere in spite of his suffering. He wears a convincing sunny smile and pretends that he's fine. He does his best to help his sunshine feel better. By doing that he will feel better, both figuratively and literally.

It certainly gives Jack a newfound respect for Alice. She has to deal with this every month. It's so cruel that nature would do this to her and so many others. This just strengthens his resolve to take care of her needs.

The first step in taking care of Alice is to talk her out of going to work. She's always had a bad habit of powering through even when she's making herself suffer horribly. Jack pulls out the same gentle firmness that is so effective at nudging his sunshine out of bed in the morning to convince her to stay in it this time.

Jack makes something light and easy for Alice to eat and makes sure she drinks plenty of fluids. He also brings her chocolate stash to her along with medicine. He makes sure that she's comfy in bed, or on the sofa to watch her favorite shows while she lies down.

Something that Jack doesn't really think about are the little details he simply knows. Why, it's almost as if he has experience caring for his partner on her period. He knows what medicine is usually most effective as a pain killer for this kind of pain. He also knows a handy little trick to turn a sock stuffed with rice into a really nice heating pad when putting it in the microwave for a while.

As you might expect, Joseph took care of Mary when she was on her period too. With her illness being untreated back then, her periods were even harder on her. Seeing her suffering so much made it difficult for him to leave her alone at home to go to work, but she always tried to see him off with a weak smile anyway.

Which also plays into why Jack wants Alice to stay home in the present day. Mary couldn't work when her period was at its worst. It was just too much for her. He might not consciously remember anything about his life as Joseph, but subconsciously he can't forget the life he lived with his sunshine.

I don't think period simulators existed in the early 80s, but if Joseph had the option to try it out, he would, just to get a sense of what Mary is going through.

Oof. Down this giant of a man goes. He was not prepared.

It's not that Joseph thought that Mary was exaggerating the pain. He would never! He figured that period pain wasn't easy, but he thought that what made it more difficult for her in particular was how it made her usual symptoms even worse.

Needless to say, Joseph was humbled by this revelation.

He also spoils Mary even more when she's on her period. Cuddles and hugs are an absolute must, as well as sympathetic comforting cooing. He feels awful that he can't take her pain away from her, so he just does whatever he can to make her feel good in spite of it.

I can see Ian, Shaun, and Nick being curious enough to try the period simulator if given the option as well.

None of them are ready for what happens to them.

If Ian tried it while he and Alice were still in a relationship, he'd be bawling and clinging to her while apologizing so much, as if her period is somehow his fault. In fact, it might sort of vaguely be? His mom and her religion claimed it had to do with original sin and men or something like that.

Unfortunately, it'd be another situation where Alice would need to reassure Ian for feeling bad about something bad happening to her.

An experience with the cramp simulator would teach Shaun to be more mindful about people going through periods. He also comes up with the brilliant idea of carrying some emergency chocolates with him.

Okay, Shaun already does keep emergency chocolates on him, but sometimes he just needs a peanut butter cup pick-me-up, you know?

Shaun does start carrying around his bestie's favorite chocolatey snack too while they're going to college together. Alice appreciates some yummy crispy rice in her emergency chocolate therapy.

Nick tried out the simulator with his AMAB friends while being filmed for his MeTube channel. He keeps all his saucy content over on LonelyFans, while his MeTube has a more general audience. There he shows off v-logs of his day and all the crazy stuff he and his friends get up to. It's pretty darn wholesome a lot of the time.

His friends did sort of joke around during the process, between whimpers and panting breaths of course. It was mostly just pointing out when one of them was crying or made a funny noise when the machine was on. It was all in good fun, just some ribbing between friends. However, at the end of the video, Nick did talk to his audience about his newfound appreciation for what people who experience periods regularly like this go through.

Of course, Nick made this speech while sitting with a heating pad in his lap. He and his friends overdid it with the machine and were left sore for a while afterwards. They dared each other to crank up the machine intensity level to see how far each of them could take it, and they made it into something of a contest.

His friend James "won," though James certainly didn't much feel like a winner afterwards.

Jack wouldn't need the machine to get a sense for how it feels, which could lead to a funny moment between him and Alice if she suggests he tries it.

"Oh, no thanks, Sunshine. I'm already very familiar with how painful periods are."

"Wait, really?"

"Um, oh, hey, that machine over there looks interesting. What do you think it does?"

Jack chooses to hastily redirect his sunshine's attention to something else rather than risk explaining how he knows.

Alice, naturally, notices the awkward change in topic. It leaves her wondering if it might be because he actually experiences periods too.

The possibility might explain to her why Jack doesn't look so good every month when she's having her period. Though that'd mean their cycles are matching up, wouldn't it? Then again, that did sometimes happen with her mom and sisters...

Alice ultimately decides that it's probably better not to ask, or even speculate about whether Jack is trans or not. If he is trans, that's his business and it's invasive to pry. That's his personal information to share when or if he feels comfortable enough to do so.

If Jack isn't trans, well, then... maybe he had a very special episode about it on the SunnyTime Crew Show?

Though, wait, the intended audience for that show was for kids way too young for puberty, so maybe not.

Either way, Alice decides to just the subject drop, much to Jack's relief.

Although Jack doesn't take the period cramp simulator for a spin, he is still gains a deeper understanding of the pain Alice goes through every month.

Even if Jack couldn't experience the pain for himself, he would still be very empathetic to his partner's needs. He just wants Alice to be happy and healthy. He wants his sunshine to be able to shine so brilliantly without any dark clouds to dampen her beautiful glow.

Alice might not be feeling very sunny while on her period, but she has her own ball of sunshine in the form of Sunny Day Jack to brighten up such gloomy days. Whether she needs food, rest, a distraction, or simply some tender loving cuddles, Jack is more than ready to give her whatever she needs to feel better.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur @kurokrisps

[clairehadenough]

Long post because while I don’t have the time as much lately, there are things I refuse to let go and pieces of 💩 should be held accountable.

First of all, couldn't have said it any better @capoteera 👏 @bostonboy1981, V, is thesweetest person anyone could ever know. She’s never called anyone names (like I do for example😂) never been after anyone on here, even though God knows how many rightful reasons she has to actually do it!

But V, we all know why they go after you, it's because you’re a true fan who cares enough to always find Chris content first. Like you said, you aren't being sent anything, you just know where and how to look.

The fact that you always beat them to everything, plus having Lisa actually following you drives them absolutelv crazy and it shows. We know by now they are very bitter, very jealous people, so I can only imagine how much it kills them that someone so close to Chris follows you. Plus that follow negates everything they've been saying for the last 3 years about Lisa not being ok with Alba and his choices and whatnot's.

They are dying Imao.

As for what they said about you, I didn't want to post their stupid words out of respect for you, but since you've decided to do it first, I'll take it as a green light for me to do it too. Just wanted to show how all those anons are actually from the biggest idiot of them all, the most jealous, the most crazy and the one who's always wrong:

Captregina.

Not only do we know her style by now (wrong usage of spacing and punctuation)⬇️

She is also dumb enough to send all the anons in one go, and her even dumber lap dog, Rogers, posts them all in one go too 😂⬇️

And finally, Captregina, Mandy, whatever your name is, you’re probably aware that more than one of your ex IRL friends are doing the rounds on lots of blogs, telling all about your ugly personality and what a piece of shit you are. They’re also telling all about your “marriage” arrangement and what it really is. With lots of details and proofs. Therefore, I don’t understand how YOU, of all people, think you’re in a position to question other people’s marriages or family lives. Most people know about your sad life by now and I really think that all that you do online is projecting. You’re trying to deal with unacceptable aspects of your life by placing them onto another person.

So really, shut the fuck up. Because remember that, just like you, karma’s a bitch.

[randomrambles3nonsenseetc]

Testing...1, 2, 3...

This is NOT a place for the fickle minded, undecided, confused or easily led!

Im talking life in general, but also for those who are fans of Bridgerton and or Luke & Niolca.

Honestly, the Bridgerton ride has been a long game from the beginning. For those of us that enjoyed season 1 and hunkered down in anticipation for season 2 and then season 3, and now we eagerly await season 4 with high hopes and expectations.

We know its taken years between seasons, years for fans to develop hyperfixated admiration, joy and expectation for one special couple's relationship to develop.

And yet we still have to contend with the fickle minded, the impatient, the confused and undecided who oscillate like yo-yo's from one side of the ship to the other making the firmly sat shipmates queasy with their ever constant to and fro.

These fickle, confused, undecided seem emotionally immature as they have frequent tantrums and melodramatic meltdowns at those who have spent time and effort analysing, researching and collating crumbs for the rest of us to enjoy. It makes me wonder if they're actually using their brains (if they have brains at all) as their pitiable confused cries get louder when there is another carefully crafted sighting of Luke and or Nicola and their 'acquaintances' in the wild, trying to disrupt the smooth sailing Lukola.

In the last two weeks we've seen:

Lukola together: the beautiful display of love care, affection, adoration at the SAG awards.

Nic at JD's play - stalked by creepy McStalker (who needs to get a life or a psyc assessment and a straight jacket cos that shit is creepy af and not acceptable.)

Luke with 🐜 looking absolutely miserable

Im sure there's more, but these are the ones my tired brain can think of right now.

I've had a couple of shit weeks so im going to be a little petty and say:

Since finding the Lukola ship on tumblr, it has been a little spark of joy to my wearisome days and gives me something to look forward to at the end of endless, long, difficult, draining days at work.

So I really wish the fickle minded would just fuck off!

From what I've seen on other blogs, the realistic, rational, well researched, carefully analysed firmly sat shippers. I have decided that this latest round of carefully crafted PR and pap pics (and creepy McStalker nonsnese) is that they're testing the fandom and hard core shippers to see how many they can they try and coax to leave the ship and or jump to one of the other ships.

It seems that the other ships hit sandbars some time ago and are listlessly being pounded against the rocky shore taking on water, while the shipmates aimlessly try to pail out the water with leaky buckets.

Another words, at the SAG awards many more than just Bridgerton Fans and Lukola shippers witnessed the magnetism, light and love that Lukola have for each other and this has only increased people's awareness of their connection; increasing the spotlight not only on their work but on them individually and as a perceived couple. Furthermore, the SAG awards made it abundantly clear to those with eyes and brains that their connection doesn't even compare to their interactions with their 'acquaintances'.

Like many others have said, the latest PR and pap pics are damage control, illusion, distraction... a test to see how far they can push the fandom and how the fandon will react.

Or as much as the fandom watches them I am 100% certain that they have a team of people watching the fandom. They are smart, well connected, tech savvy and if Nic and or Luke aren't, they have skilled people around them that are.

Whatever 🐜 game is, many have grown tired of it and worked out a pretty solid theory of what may be going on.

Tbh the girl just needs to let go, move on, get her manicured nails dirty and do some hard work to earn whatever perceived industry recognition she thinks she is entitled to. (None, imo because she does not seem to have done Jack shit to earn any recognition and obviously hasn't put in the work to develop her skill or profile). Perhaps her young age prevents her from the life lesson that anything worth having is worth the hard work to achieve said goal, no matter the industry. Or perhaps she just thinks that the world owes her and she is entitled to receive recognition simply for existing. (Grow up and fuck off).

Initially I was annoyed by JD, he carries an energy in pictures and Vids I saw that didn't sit well with me, but I've softened a little. I still don't think he's more than a good friend and perhaps is receiving some industry mentoring and guidance.. people say he has talent. I haven't seen enough of his stuff to comment.

(Of the 4 episodes I've seen of Renegade Nell, I loved Louisa Harland but found JD's character very stereotypical and unoriginal for that type of genre program).

Its clear to me that JD is a friend, nothing more.

So back to my original point:

The fickle, the confused, the undecided and or easily led need to grow up. Stop jumping on every silly little well planned pap pic or nonsense bs from Creepy McStalker, DM or whatever pathetic low-rent gossip rag is posting inconsequential bs about Luke, Nic, JD or A.

Pick a side

Stay on your own ship

Stop being ass-hats and leave the firmly sat Lukola shippers alone.

Lastly, stop being so reactive, fans, shippers, whoever you are, take a breath, get some oxygen into your brain, let those brain cells connect to form realistic, coherent, rational thoughts before running off to abandon ship or throwing slurs at others.

Just because this is the internet, doesn't give anyone the right to behave like ass-hats.

Karma always come back around.

This is a ship that is sailing steadily, however slowly toward the horizon. The firmly sat shipmates cannot be moved unless there is a direct statement from Lukola their teams or a (highly unlikely) pap pic of the two (or 2 plus BN) together.

Now go re watch B1 / B2 and especially B3, or the WT on YouTube or any other interview with Nicola and or Luke or BIG Mood (fkng brilliant in my opinion), or Derry Girls, or listen to the Bridgerton Podcasts or What A Barb podcast or read some fanfictions or a book or go find another fandom if you don't have the heart to find a solid seat on the Lukola.

🚢🎤

Thanks for reading my tired, grumpy rant. 😊