#( but ive been working on it for quite some time )
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hiiiiiii jay!! ive been having an unhealthy sleeping schedule lately, so i just wanted to know what you think frank would do if he catches you up pulling an all-nighter cause of some uni work when he came home from one of his missions. most especially, when you tell him you’ve done it for three straight nights while he was gone…
FRANK knew something was off the second he stepped into the apartment. it was quiet, too quiet, but not in the way that usually meant safety. the tv wasn’t on, no music played softly from your phone, and you didn’t come running up to him the second he locked the door behind him.
his gut clenched.
he slipped off his boots, careful not to track any dirt or blood onto the floor, and listened. he heard it then - the faint sound of typing. quick, rhythmic, desperate.
with a sigh, he followed it, walking toward the kitchen, where the glow of your laptop screen cast shadows across your face. papers were scattered everywhere, some crumpled, some covered in highlighter. empty redbull cans were scattered around the tabletop. a half-eaten granola bar sat next to an empty coffee cup, and another coffee was in your hand, fingers curled tight around it like a lifeline.
you didn’t even notice him.
“sweetheart.” his voice was low, firm.
you startled, eyes snapping up. he saw the exhaustion in them instantly - red-rimmed, glassy, dark circles bruising your skin.
“frank,” you breathed, blinking fast like you were trying to clear your vision.
he didn’t move toward you just yet, but he looked you over, taking in the way your hands trembled around the coffee cup, the way your shoulders sagged under the weight of whatever you were doing.
“what’re you doin’ up?” he asked, though he already had an idea.
“just… finishing some stuff,” you mumbled, eyes darting back to your laptop. “it’s nothing, really.”
he glanced at the time on the microwave. 4:12 a.m.
his jaw ticked.
“when’s the last time you slept?”
you hesitated, biting your lip, and he knew right then you were about to say something he wouldn’t like.
“um … a little bit, here and there,” you finally said, voice too soft, too small.
frank sighed, rubbing a hand down his face. “baby.”
“it’s fine,” you tried to reassure him, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “i just needed to catch up on work. it’s been kinda crazy, and i thought, you know, since you were gone, i’d just - ”
“how long?”
your mouth opened, closed.
he took a step forward. “how long you been doin’ this?”
“…three nights.”
his nostrils flared.
“three damn nights?” his voice was sharper now, and you flinched. not out of fear, but because you knew how much he hated this - hated seeing you worn down, pushing yourself past your limits. you’d hate to see him disappointed in you but in your defence, you thought he’d be home a whole lot later.
“i just - i had to, frank,” you whispered. “i got so behind, and i didn’t want you to come back to me all stressed and falling apart, so i just - ”
his hands were on you before you could finish, tugging you up and out of the chair, wrapping you up tight against him. you didn’t even realize you were crying until he sighed against your hair, feeling the dampness on his shirt.
“sweetheart,” he murmured, voice rough with something heavy, something that made your chest ache. “you think i care ‘bout any of that? you think i want you doin’ this to yourself?”
“i just wanted to keep up,” you sniffled, fingers fisting in his jacket. “i didn’t wanna be a mess when you got back.”
he pulled back just enough to cup your face, thumbs brushing over your cheeks. his eyes, dark and tired but so damn full of love, locked onto yours.
“you could be the biggest damn mess in the world, and i wouldn’t care. you hear me?” he said, low and firm. “don’t wanna come home to you runnin’ yourself into the ground. don’t wanna see you like this.”
you nodded, lower lip trembling, and he groaned, pressing a kiss there, then another, then another, like he was trying to fix it, to erase the exhaustion, the stress, the weight you’d been carrying alone.
“c’mon,” he muttered, tugging you toward the bedroom. “you’re done. no more of this.”
“but - ”
he shot you a look. “no buts. you’re gonna sleep.”
you wanted to protest, but the second you hit the bed, exhaustion slammed into you like a tidal wave. you barely registered the weight of him next to you, pulling you against his chest, hand rubbing slow, soothing circles against your back.
“gonna take care of you, sweetheart,” he whispered against your hair, voice soft, warm. “always.”
and for the first time in three nights, you believed it.
ᰔ frank castle : @stvr-dust, @uncertified-doc, @erospecies
taglist form linked in pinned post :3
#hi i felt this in the depths of my soul uni is kicking my ass#thank you for requesting i really liked writing this#if u wanna req again i’ll make it less short💕#jay writes!#frank castle🎀#frank castle#frank castle prompt#frank castle x reader#frank castle smut#frank castle x you#frank castle fanfiction#frank castle fluff#the punisher#punisher x reader#the punisher x reader#frank castle fic#frank castle angst#jon bernthal#jon bernthal x reader#mcu#marvel#bucky barnes#steve rogers#charlie cox#matt murdock#daredevil
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Do you have any darker thoughts about your fav ATJ characters?
Bestie, I have so many thoughts, and I’m totally blaming @otaku-girl-ao3 for this. A few weeks ago, we spent an afternoon on Discord brainstorming what the ATJ characters would be like as dark versions of themselves and how that would manifest in distinct and interesting ways.
Just a quick note—this is quite a departure from the usual content on my blog and the type of things I typically write about. Recently, I’ve been gathering the courage to explore some darker themes in my writing (I blame BookTok for introducing me to a lot of questionable tropes). Please be kind and let me know if you’d like to see more of this kind of writing from me!
Characters: Sergei Kravinoff (Kraven the Hunter), Friedrich Harding (Nosferatu), Tangerine (Bullet Train), and Ives (Tenet) Rating: Explicit, 18+ only. Dead dove, do not eat. VERY dark, depraved, and horny thoughts direct from me to you. Not all themes are tagged. Read at your own risk. Please comment or reblog if you enjoyed this and want to see more. Or scream at me in my inbox. That always makes my day.
Aaron Taylor Johnson Character Masterlist
Sergei is a meticulous planner, taking his time to observe you and learn your habits. He likely comes across you by chance—perhaps while on the job or visiting his brother. It’s your scent that first grabs his attention, but it’s not what draws him back. It’s the softness and sweetness in your demeanor, the vulnerability you exude, completely unaware of the dangers around you. You’re the easiest prey he’s ever tracked, unaware even of the most basic threats. You’re always buried in a book or your phone, headphones on at full blast. If it weren’t for his quiet intervention, you would have been robbed or worse on your way home at least twice.
He takes you because he believes you're not meant to be on your own. You need someone to care for you, to protect you from the world that you don’t fully understand. Really, it’s lucky your paths crossed. He’s certain you’ll come to see things his way in time. Until then, he’s turned his home into a beautiful little cage for you to live in, complete with an entire library filled with your favorite books, cozy blankets to keep you warm, and all the ingredients for the meals you love to cook and enjoy. He’s done his research on what you like and he’ll bring you anything you ask for. Afterall, he’s a provider at heart.
There’s no concern of you running away. You've seen the large snow leopard that prowls around outside, and the one time you made a foolish attempt to escape, Sergei was quick to show you that he wouldn't always be so gentle or understanding. As @writercole suggested, once he has you back, he’ll also end up keeping you tethered by the ankle for a while, a lesson that if you try to run, he’ll leash you.
After you recover from that experience Sergei finds you’re a much better pet, settling into your new life and role. You start cooking for him when he's home, and willingly crawl into bed beside him, seeking out his warmth on those cold winter nights. Soon, Sergei knows you’ll be ready for the next step: starting a family of your own.
Friedrich (in a modern AU) strikes me as the type who would quietly manipulate situations to his advantage, working behind the scenes to ensure things unfold just how he wants. He’d spot you working at a cafe or store he frequently visits and, from that moment, start working on a plan to make you his.
Rather than using overt force, he’d rely on subtle pressure and gaslighting, making you doubt yourself and your choices. He’d skillfully set up circumstances to undermine you—ensuring you miss out on a job you desperately need, getting you fired, or putting you in a position where you have no choice but to turn to him. When you're at your lowest, he’ll swoop in as the savior, the one who appears to protect you. His goal is to make you dependent on him alone, carefully ensuring that when the time comes for him to make his move, you're in no position to resist. Consent would be questionable, but he'd remind you every time you hesitated that you said yes, that you asked for his help, and that you invited him in.
I can also see him isolating you from friends and family, slowly pulling you away from the support system you once had. He’d definitely be the type to love-bomb you, showering you with overwhelming attention and affection, using his money and influence to manipulate you further.
He strikes me as a baby trapper, sabotaging your birth control or tampering with his condoms to ensure you get pregnant. He believes you'd be the perfect wife and mother—you just need his help to realize that. Once he has you, he’d be the most loving and attentive husband, always caring, but beneath that sweetness lies an unshakable belief that he knows what’s best. He’s the one who makes the decisions, subtly guiding everything with quiet confidence until, over time, the balance shifts in his favor and you start looking to him for help with even the easiest things. Despite all of this, Friedrich would likely still view himself as a good person, firmly rejecting any notion that he is abusive or in the wrong.
Tangerine is on the opposite end of the spectrum, much more inclined to use brute force and physical violence to make you understand your place. He has a short temper and struggles with impulse control, especially when you don't follow his demands. There’s no slow build-up with him—he has no time or patience for romance. The moment he sees you on the street, he decides you’re coming home with him, and that’s final. Or maybe Tangerine and Lemon are sent to kill your husband but when Tangerine sees just how sweet you are, completely unaware of who and what your husband really is, he decides to keep you for himself. After all, no one's going to miss you. They’ll assume you died in the house fire with your husband.
Once he had you he would try and spoil you with a beautiful place to live, fine clothes and decadent food. He’d want you to look and dress a certain way for him. A darker version of him would fit the profile of a classic abuser—lashing out at you in anger, only to later show up with flowers and a hollow apology, turning the blame onto you as if you were the one who provoked it.
“Why do you have to make things so fuckin’ hard, huh?” Tangerine questions, caressing your bruised skin. “I hate when you make me do this to ya luv. You need to listen better.”
He’d definitely be the most terrifying of all the dark versions of the ATJ characters because of his unpredictability. (I do not know why but I have such a strong sense he’d pop you in the mouth/back hand you with those rings on and just….yeah.)
If Ives were to go dark, he’d likely abuse his power and authority in the workplace, targeting someone beneath him—someone who wasn’t military and who he could easily manipulate using his strength and knowledge. Maybe you’re his admin, someone he works closely with, and no one questions the fact that you’re often in his office with the door closed or staying late to finish tasks together. He’d be blunt about his intentions with you, setting clear expectations for how things would unfold. His actions would be predictable—if you were a good girl, you’d be rewarded; if you misbehaved, there would be consequences. Ives would be a steady, unyielding force, confident that, with time, you’d fall into line.
#sergei kravinoff x reader#friedrich harding x reader#ives x reader#tangerine x reader#tangerine x you#aaron taylor johnson#friedrich harding x you#sergei kravinoff x you#kraven x reader#kraven x you#kraven the hunter#bullet train#tenet#nosferatu#is
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Okay, we got lee!riddle and ler!reader... but what about lee!reader and ler!riddle? The hour of reckoning. I have a real brainrot... No pressure tho.
A Cure for Boredom
Riddle & Reader (TWST)
a/n: yes. request from forever ago. i actually did get ten likes on my post so here is my promised fic. 30 minutes late, but still. are you guys proud of me? kidding. ANYWAYSSSS ive been thinking about riddle lately cuz i love him and there was a request for it so why not do it now? he might be a bit ooc so im sorry for that but besides that, enjoy!!!
summary: you’re bored, unsure what to do, so you decide to hang out with riddle. tickling ensues.
word count: 1.3k
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You walked around the courtyard, a bit aimless and more than a little bored. You had completed all your homework for the day in between your classes and felt like getting some fresh air, so you decided to go for a walk.
There wasn’t really much you could think of doing. Ace was at his basketball club and Deuce was studying for an upcoming test, and everyone else just seemed occupied so you didn’t bother asking. Hm.
It wasn’t until you were near the end of the courtyard, mostly secluded from everyone else when you spotted a familiar face. Riddle, who was deep in concentration, staring down at a black notebook at a picnic table. In his hand was his magic pen writing diligently on the paper.
Riddle had intimidated you at first, but the longer you were at Night Raven College, you had learned that, although a bit strict at times, he wasn’t a bad person at all. In fact, he was actually pretty fun around, and you believed yourself to be close with him.
Or at least close enough to bother him while he looked like he was studying. You came up from behind him, sliding on the bench beside him, as he turned to look at you.
“Oh, it’s you,” He said, seeming a bit startled but trying to play it off. You smiled. He must have been really concentrated.
“Hey Riddle, what are you doing?” You asked, as he gestured to his paper, your eyes following.
“I’m working on an essay for my alchemy class,” He explained.
“Is it hard?”
“Nothing I can’t handle.”
“Well, mind if I keep you company?” You asked, tracing your finger absentmindedly on the table.
He turns to you again, offering a gentle smile. He had always seemed so… unhappy all the time, but recently, he had become more open-minded, and you couldn’t help but feel happy for him. You liked seeing him smile.
“Why not? Your company is much more preferable to some… others,” He replied, a certain tone behind his words that you couldn’t quite understand, but you decided not to ask.
He worked on his assignment, but you would talk to him, about the weather, about your day, what Ace and Deuce had been up to. You had a feeling those two wouldn’t exactly want you telling their business to their Housewarden, but you were sure to keep quiet about anything that could get them in trouble. They were your closest friends, though, how could you not talk about them?
Suddenly, all of a sudden, there was a flutter against your ankle, ticklish, and you jolted, moving your legs up. You looked down, seeing a small cat nuzzling against the leg of the table.
“A cat? On campus?” You asked, tilting your head.
“They sometimes come onto campus. There are a few strays on Sage island, so it only makes sense that they’d sneak into here every so often.”
“Oh, I guess that makes sense,” You leaned down, holding out your hand as the cat nudges against you. You smiled, scratching at its chin softly.
“More so, did it bite you?”
“Bite me? Why do you think that?” You said confused.
“Well, you yelled. It isn’t a small matter if a stray cat bites you. It can carry disease,” Riddle replied.
“Oh, no it didn’t bite me!” You rushed to explain, not wanting to risk worrying the other. “It must’ve accidentally grazed against my leg. It just tickled, that’s all.”
“Tickled…” Riddle said, seeming relieved, but suddenly, you felt curious.
“Are you ticklish?” You asked, your words exiting your mouth before you had the chance to think.
Riddle’s face went as red as his hair, which you didn’t know was possible, but you still found strangely endearing. “W-what kind of..?!”
“Sorry, guess you weren’t expecting that,” You laughed at his reaction. Riddle tried to clear his throat and calm himself down. “Is that a yes then?”
“It is not.”
“Really?” You replied, but a cheeky smirk appears on your face and before he had the chance to respond, you decided that the best way to answer your question was trying it out yourself. The cat, startled by your quick movements, ran away. You felt a little disappointed and guilty, but you were on a mission now.
As you pinched his sides, Riddle bit his lip, as he shook, his homework forgotten. Exactly two seconds later, Riddle was giggling and laughing, seemingly unable to know what to do with himself.
“Y-youhuhu stohohop thihihis!” He cried, embarrassed, putting his arms in front of him.
“No way, this is awesome!” You said, pure glee plain as day on your face as you grinned brightly.
If you told yourself months ago, you’d be tickling Riddle Rosehearts, you would not have believed yourself for a second. But here you were, your hands tickling his sensitive skin and him laughing and laughing as a result. You had to admit, you were feeling pretty great.
That is, until you felt fingers pinching at your sides, causing you to flinch hard. You faltered, before Riddle leaned over you, tickling you ruthlessly.
“Wahahahit! Rihihihihiddle! Stohohop!” You exclaimed, feeling your face flush as you realize you had let your guard down and forgot who you were dealing with.
Now if you told yourself months ago, Riddle Rosehearts would be tickling you, you definitely wouldn’t have believed yourself. In fact, you’d probably believe you’d die before that’d happen. It just wasn’t his style, you know? And yet again, you were proven to be very, very wrong.
“Did you think I would just let you.. tickle me?” He said, hesitating a bit and you would’ve laughed about it, but you were currently occupied in.. laughing for other reasons.
“I dohohon’t knohohow!” You cried, squirming as you fell back, trying to get away from Riddle without falling off the bench.
“Well,” Riddle said, a smug smile on his face, clearly proud of himself for catching you off-guard and turning the tables. “I’ll make you regret ever trying.”
Oh no. You were in trouble, weren’t you?
He moved his fingers to your stomach, scratching and scribbling. His movements were obviously awkward and inexperienced, but effective, nonetheless.
“Plehehehease!”
“Please? I can’t understand what you’re saying.” Riddle asked.
“Rihihihihiddle! W-why!?”
“Are you seriously asking that right now? You started this. I’m ending it, simple as that.”
He began poking at your ribs, and you let out a squeal. How embarrassing…! You squirmed, frantically, pushing away at his hands, but he was stronger than you thought he was, to your dismay.
When he started making his way to other sensitive spots on your body, you felt your laughter raise an octave, as much as you tried to stop it.
“Nohohoho, plehehhe— GAH!” You shrieked, leaning back a bit too far and falling off the bench on the grass. Riddle, obviously, stopped right away, looking down at you in concern.
“Are you alright?” He asked, as you rubbed your back, breathing deeply.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” You assured him, feeling the pain slowly go away, as you stood to sit back on the bench. Riddle didn’t try to tickle you again, something you were grateful for because you felt as though if he did, you wouldn’t last a second.
Still, a part of you felt happy that you were at least close enough to Riddle to be getting into tickle fights, of all things, with him. You couldn’t imagine him tickling someone he was only acquainted with.
“You’re evil,” You said, after finally regaining your breath. Riddle had gone back to working on his assignment after ensuring you were okay, so casually as if nothing had ever happened.
Knowing him, though, you were sure he was still thinking about it. At least a little bit.
Hearing your words, he looked at you. “Evil?”
“So evil! You totally destroyed me,” You whined. “So unfair.”
At that, Riddle let out a laugh. “Don’t start fights you can’t win. It’s not unfair at all.”
You rolled your eyes, half-heartedly. “You won this time, but who’s to say you’ll win the next time. Or the next one after that?”
“I’d like to see you try,” Riddle replied, and it took you a second to realize that he was agreeing that there would be a next time, and you resisted the urge to celebrate. Riddle went back to his work, and you.. well, you’ll be coming up with ideas to get Riddle back, in the meantime.
#twst tickling#tickling#twisted wonderland#riddle rosehearts#reader#lee!reader#ticklish!reader#lee!riddle#ler!riddle#ticklish!riddle#jai’s fic
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ironically anna crofts future sight can make her extremely short sighted!
#narrates#orv#shes clever as evidenced by the coin bet but she's very secure in everything she does bc she's a prophet & is quite confident#which makes her totally consistently blindsided by kdj who she cannot predict and who is an EXTREME all according to keikaku dude#to be fair. he is a highly difficult individual to predict.#but anna consistently doesn't alter her plans much or think thru how his immunity might make him behave vs her#based on the few times ive seen her at least#..........unlike him she does not deviate from 'the script.'#both in terms of who she is as a character (the betrayerrrrrrrrrr) and in terms of sticking with her plans even when they're not working#kdj himself is quite rigid in his thinking and can't accept things being different in some ways as well but he Can think on his feet#and is determined Not to play by the script hes been given even if it means facing down the whole star stream#anna seems to think she can win by playing within the rules of the scenarios. girl that is not possible#whatever. im not taking this out of the tags#anyway GOODNIGHT!!!
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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well that's just a lie
#ash plays bg3#bg3#gale#gale dekarios#personal#look. im used to the way he looks now. im cool with it. but she shouldnt be!#this was an interesting conversation tho. i know ive been leaning into him following his own ambitions but--#the dialogue options along those lines are becoming a lot more direct in a way that doesnt quite fit with how im playing#the gale that im playing isnt going around pronouncing that he's gonna take over the world (because that's not what he's actually planning)#so im not completely sure how to play this. i saved before so i can go through it a few times to work out what i want to say#(ftr i have no qualms at all about reloading in this game. i dont feel bad in the slightest. im playing this game for fun)#ultimately i dont think it matters too much what i say here unless i choose some really extreme options. which isnt my plan anyway#but it's important to me. im enjoying the roleplay aspect#it's also pretty funny that ive only had one long rest since the one where i fucked the emperor. i should be able to tell her that lmao#like hey yeah a lot's happened since we last spoke#but anyway if you say you're gonna take the crown yourself she says 'if it doesnt crush you i will' which is fun#gonna stick with the 'im not sure' option. and all my companions are saying such nice things to me about it :')#except wyll and jaheira. come on guys#and lae'zel but that's because she's been kidnapped so. rip. should probably make that a priority but i like progressing main quests LAST
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LOOK WHAT I GOT
#josh talks#went out with friends and found these at a run down and extremely suspicious mall!!#i wasn't planning on buying anything but i saw these and just couldnt resist#didn't help that it was buy one get one half off#but four swords manga!!!! ive read it before but i am so happy to have it for myself#and majoras mask is my fav zelda game so i am stoked to have the other one too#im starting a collection of the zelda mangas! i have quite a few#i have ocarina of time in 2 separate books (i can't remember if theres more or not)#and then i have legendary editions that have minish cap/phantom hourglass and oracle of seasons/oracle of ages#and now these 2!#and i saw some loose twilight princess mangas but i actually had to stop at that point#it is so funny to me that majroas mask and alttp are combined into one yet four swords is the same size as those two combined lmao#i know the four swords games are just silly little co op games with little substance#but they actually have so much story telling potential????#i ranted about it to my roommate when i got home#and man i love my roommate they let me rant about zelda for like 2 hours when they really shouldve been working on stuff
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i think the 4 or so years of posting art online (to barely that much avail) is finally getting to me. like its saturated. more in tags
#talk#i think its starting to show in just how little ive been interacting with any fandoms in general#dont get me wrong i still love when im able to get reception on my art but its just#idk i feel like my work isnt sufficiently good and right now especially my motivation is at an all time low#like i just havent been able to find the will to draw anything That Good. ive been getting into new medias and stuff that friends recommend#to me but all in all nothing is quite clicking like it used to. nothing is sticking. maybe im just depressed and yearning and missing shit#but idk it feels like i used to feel something more for artistic work. now it feels like a chore and some days i only draw because of#the daily karkat account. anyways sorry for the ramble please enjoy a karkat drawing or whatever else i#decide to put in this post#problem: lost my muse. solution: probably a w4rd
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Lost in a book...
Tags: @imflyingfish @raise-me-up-take-me-up
See pinned for commissions
#fantasy#fantasy girl#tiefling#dnd#d&d#oc#ttrpg#library#nebulaeyedart#Barira#barira my beloved <3#tried to try some new stuff with the shadows today#didnt quite work but has promise#man ive drawn so much today I have two other pieces done#man though i miss drawing barira all the time i really need to figure out what im doing with her at some point#i have ideas i just need to develop them#I also miss sternie and reddwin a lot too#</3#been enjoying drawing fandom stuff but man my ocsssss
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it was so stupidly difficult to find any nutritionist who has experience with arfid & takes insurance so after having to go through all these referrals my therapist sent me & jumping through hoops I lowkey hate the lady lmao feels like such a waste of time & energy
#its only our third time meeting but its so beyond fucking frustrating to feel like we spent the whole hour going in circles & lowkey arguing#& like she never actually listened to any of the things ive told her. like the ENTIRW REASON i told her i was seeking extra help after#dealing w arfid type noncense all my life was 'achieving goal x is always kind of tough but im trying to do it while also achieving goal y &#im struggling with finding a way to balance the two things' like thats IT & then as shes suggesting things to try im like idk of those are#worth the effort bcus they conflict w goal y & shes like. have you considered not worrying about that so you can focus on x?#like NO bcus thats what i was previoislt doing & it doesnt fucking work for me! & she was just not understanding what i meant by adding#variety or having 'better options' shes all like. ok but even if this new thing conflicts with goal y it can just be another option for you#like thats not the POINT i already have enough options i can switch between that conflict with that like the whole point is i need to fill#the gaps w things that are nutritionally different. like if im ok with something thatll use up a significant portion of ny daily values of#shit then i already have multiple options that i actively like well enough i dont wanna waste my time adding more that are things i think#are just ok but take more work. literally whats the point of that#& im like i think rather than me just thinking of random shit i think i could try itd be helpful if I could like get some guidance on like#what are some things that fall into somewhere into this category or this adjacent category while also not being this other thing & then i#cab like determine from there what i already like & can try & add more of & things from that list that sound like sth i can try#& shes like well idk theres a lot of foods out there. YEAH ABD ISNT IT YOUR FUCKING JOB TO KNOW ABOUT FOOD? like i gave fairly specific#parameters this isnt like a 'list every food on earth' type of question what am i even paying you for if you cant come up with a list#like that. & she jept getting hung up on like well lots of things that are the most calorically dense are gonna be like that like ok it#doesnt have to be the MOST dense maybe think about it like 'the densest things in this other category' which sounded straightforward to me#but she was just like continuing to argue & also like getting hung up on reminding me that everything is dependent on portions like#I FUCKING KNOW?? like if a serving of something is like 10% of my dv id rather find something where a serving is 5% etc. idk how thats like#a hard concept like whats the point of adding something to be like oh sure ill have a third of a serving & get 50 extra calories out of it#be so fr rn im so beyond frustrated still even tho its been hours since i talked to her this is more stressful & annoying than the stress of#just trying to figure shit out on my own i fucking hate having to try & re explain nyaelf ivee & over & have someone just talk over me &#fail to understand what im getting at. im one more shitty session away from quitting & just resigining myself to 70% liquid diet#anyways#texticles
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my absolutely biggest online pet peeve is US centric people projecting their rich sorority girl bully stereotype of nurses onto everyone else, as if nurses aren't working class and mostly immigrants of colour everywhere else. and when did it become cool to hate on underpaid and exploited workers anyway
#*when i say ''everywhere else'' i mean sweden specifically. idk what it's like in other countries#anyway it bothers me to no end#most of my coworkers are 1. very nice and 2. quite poor and part of many oppressed classes and groups#a vast majority of them are either single mothers who have immigrated from the middle east or africa#or young afghan men who came here in 2015-2021 during the refugee wave#on many shifts ive been 1. the only nurse born in sweden and 2. the only female nurse#your experiences are not universal#the way the internet talks about nurses bothers me to no end! not every nurse makes insane dollars a year and is blonde and married to a cop#i googled this once and american nurses on average make 2x or even nearly 4x of what i made at my previous job. depending on state#enough ppl in the ward i worked at were muslim that we celebrated ramadan all of us basically. not exactly but it did affect the schedule#many of my coworkers could barely afford clothes for all their kids and we all worked crazy hours and kept getting overworked and burnt out#i hate the american stereotype!!!!!#''nurses are mostly high school bullies who like being in control of and hurting vulnerable people'' no! that isn’t true! it just isn’t!#lots of bad healthcare isnt bc the workers are sadists.its bc the resources from the government are lacking and the workers are understaffed#like#we know when the care isn’t good. and it feels Bad actually to not be able to do it better#lots ppl change professions bc of the ethical stress. it's not fun. and sometimes it's obvious a patient feels like theyre not getting heard#but you don't have the time to sit down and listen or whatever else. there isn't time or resources for it#and a lot of crucial vital conditions/symptoms sometimes get missed bc of lack of resources and competence quitting#it's not bc nurses are evil and want ppl to die and suffer. i feel like this has got to be some kind of propaganda circulating#it's such a bizarre stereotype when you think about it. and it's just not true to reality. idk#anyway what do i know. maybe they are actually evil in america. it's possible. a lot of bizarre things are true in america#i just hate the narrative online#pickapost
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thank you for the tag @fxreflyes this is so cute, except the format is trying to hinder my propensity to ramble, so i’ve rectified this in the tags lmao
i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / i am an only child
no pressure tags for @static-radio-ao3 @inevitablestars @itsjaywalkers @carniferous @orbitfalls @transsexualpriest @futurequibblerjournalist <333
#i'm like 5'7 i think. fun fact i used to wear glasses when i was like 11 bc all my friends were getting glasses and i wanted some too so i#lied to my optician. lol good times. don't actually need glasses tho soooo.#this is me coming out as a natural blonde guys….. like my hair hasn’t been blonde in a good year or so and it hasn’t been my natural blonde#in like three/four years but still in my heart of hearts i identify as a blonde. like i get confused when people don't count me as one#i have my ears and nose pierced and i would love a tattoo but unfortunately i have both a fear of needles and commitment issues so.#not sure if that’ll ever happen… would be very hot and sexy tho. also i'm one of those freaks with green eyes lol it's appaza quite rare#my hair is currently like dark dark brown… have been getting the itch to dye it again tho like a kinda reddish colour idk yet we’ll see#i had braces for AAGES. i have freckles in the summer and i paint my nails whenever i remember to. rn they’re a very chipped lilac colour#i think i have a resting bitch face but i can never tell tbf like it might be more of a resting 'dead to the world' face lmao#okay technically i don’t play an instrument anymore! but in the past i’ve dabbled with the cello the oboe and the xylophone. singing too#spanish and italian baybee although ig if this means like fluently then that’s not me but this is literally my degree it’s my whole brand#yes i like to read but also the only things ive read in like the last few months have been either books in spanish/italian for my degree#literary criticism for said span/ital books and… fanfic. so. also i like writing but it's my worst enemy rn the thoughts aren't working :(#i have many best friends that i’ve known for years!!!! in fact i've known some of my friends for like my entire life it's very cute#okay sorry for rambling i can never help myself and i also literally could go on icl like there was Some restraint applied here#kara lore#bc there's quite a lot of it in this one lol#tag games
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#awi#personal#i dont want to go into work in the morning#i remember 2016 so vividly how my republican coworkers were acting like it was a football game their team won#ive been looking at new jobs new apartments new anything for a bit now and was starting to feel more hopeful#but now the uncertainty of the future has me hesitating something fierce#i was starting to seriously consider just quitting my job and finding some part time work for a couple months#live off savings and pray to any deity thats listening i dont get sick since i wouldnt have health insurance anymore lol 💀#just get some more time to exist on my own terms for a bit#im so tired#i bought my dad and i booze on my way home so we were both pretty loopy earlier and he was waxing poetic about me getting a new job#to have that feeling back#he's feeling similarly stuck i think#the older i get the more i am his kid fr#i am. so tired
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Breaking news: not working three jobs/a job with poor boundaries means you have time AND energy. More than you know what to do with it
#crazy concept i know#i quit my healthcare job back in December and even though i have less money#best decision ive ever made#I've been working demanding jobs and/or balancing school for so long that i forgot what having a life feels like#like i haven't had this much energy since my freshman year of college#and my because my time management skills are super strong I've got like HOURS of time#now i just gotta make some real life friends to spend sone of the time with#im also volunteering to read books to dogs at least one hour a month and getting involved with mutual aid and liberal organjzations#i also plan to get back to writing once i get over my comps burnout#(i think im on the tail end of it now)
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#omg some people do not even bother to fact check anything and base their political + moral opinion on ignorance#just saw 'this is bs youre just saying that a lot of african countries speak arabic bc you want to make out arabs as colonisers and#flip the script and lie'#have they never heard of the muslim conquest? the caliphates?#this is up there with only europeans can colonise#do people think colonisation just popped into existence whole cloth with christopher columbus?#that there were no empires beforehand??? or that empires are exclusively white???#no hm maybe they have a point what languages are spoken in africa yeah it is kinda weird so many of them speak arabic#do they kniw egyptians wwre coptic. koptic? that cleopatra was greek.#do they think the mongols were white. what is these peoples knowledge of history#literally 'you must be wrong because the narrative I know doesnt match the facts youre claiming and I wont even bother to check'#ive been sitting on a joke about we should call jordan the country cisjordan bc it used to be transjordan#back whrn it existed both sides of the jordan river shortly after the whole area was palestine#but the british decided to chop ot up and give jordan to...the hashemites? i think and then what was left re-became palestine#but i dont tuink its worth it bc people wont get it and theyll just get mad about a dumb joke because they dont like the history#so.im being a lil pathetic.amd.hiding it.in my tags#and like. ive been pretty quiet i think anout i/p for a long time but my patience is waning#and my side eye + benefit of the doubt is waning#if people want to be ignorant i cant help w that. doesnt mean I believe the propaganda straight up#it.is. quite difficult. to make up ones own mind and try draw the truth between lots of rightfully intense emotions and lots of.....#performatively high emotions lets call.it#i cant force people to.play nice or be sensible or reasonable or curious or open#i dont like becoming more closed off but i need to.pull that boundary a little tighter for myself so I can stay safe enough to be open#reach for the plow instead of reaching for the sword as my friends would say. work to learn the ways of peace not the ways of war#i just have. Feelings. yknow.#might delete#mine
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all im saying is im gently making plans just in case my 10-year breakdown-iversary is on the cards
#happens squarely once every 10 years there abouts i just get wrecked#this time im very aware of it and can attempt to mitigate the issues#im just in a whole lot more stress this time and my cornerstone support systems are kind of ... not quite there this time#Tom's here thats so much better#buuttt my immediate family is a part of the problem as well as the support#my grandparents are kind of going through it and also showing their age now#and my friends for like ... 18 years .. arent speaking to each other? im not sure where to go with that#one of then is primo great stuff if a bit ditzy#the other .. no idea where i stand on that one#and i know im going back to the Big Away Work in January too#also fine but we have some work hiccups going on#i do wish the best for who i work with and i care about them but oh boy gksnfkd fhdj#some of them are being pretty self-destructive and its hard to watch#and others are after better jobs and i WILL miss them (ive been living with them for 3 months)#sighs ... anyway ... not sure what to do#rory's ramblings
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