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zenithangelic · 12 days ago

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Hi could I get fallout 4 companions with a sole survivor that's really good at cooking/baking? Even though there's a lack of resources they're always able to make a tasty meal :)

FO4 Companions reacting to the Sole Survivor's cooking/baking skills:

Cait

Cait is initially skeptical, but she’s absolutely delighted when she tastes the Sole Survivor’s cooking.

She’ll tease you for being “too fancy” but can’t resist taking an extra serving of whatever’s on offer. Even with limited ingredients, she can sense the effort and love put into the dish.

Cait will often ask for something hearty, like a meat stew, and once she’s had a taste, she’ll go on about how it "hits the spot" after a long day of fighting.

Codsworth

Codsworth is always delighted when the Sole Survivor whips up something to eat, and he’ll politely offer his assistance, even if he’s not sure how to cook.

Whilst he can’t taste the food himself, he’ll always compliment the cooking, saying things like “It smells absolutely divine!” and offering praises for every dish.

Every meal becomes an opportunity for him to “fluff and polish,” ensuring the setting matches the quality of the food.

Curie

Curie is fascinated by cooking, always eager to learn new techniques, even if she sometimes gets things mixed up due to her scientific curiosity.

She loves the idea of making food “delicate” and “scientifically perfect,” so she’ll happily offer advice while watching you bake or cook.

Curie’s delighted with any dish, but if you make something with vegetables or fruits, she’ll be thrilled, claiming it’s “just like the old world” and perfect for a healthy life.

Paladin Danse

Paladin Danse is a bit of a meat-and-potatoes kind of guy, but he quickly learns to appreciate the Sole Survivor’s culinary prowess.

He’s always impressed that the Survivor can make something delicious out of practically nothing, but he’s especially fond of simple, hearty meals like roasted meat or stews.

Danse feels a little awkward about accepting the food at first, but once he digs in, he’s hooked. He’ll show his gratitude with a firm handshake and a grunt of approval.

Deacon

Deacon is totally into the fact that the Sole Survivor can create a good meal even when supplies are low. He’s all about resourcefulness and loves seeing the creative dishes that come out of seemingly nothing.

He’ll often make light-hearted jokes, suggesting you could sell your cooking as a new "underground recipe" in the Commonwealth.

Deacon’s definitely a fan of whatever is made with spices or anything that packs a punch—he loves the unexpected flavors.

Dogmeat

Dogmeat may not have a sophisticated palate, but the Sole Survivor’s cooking always makes him wag his tail and give an excited bark.

He particularly enjoys anything with meat in it, and even if it’s just a bit of leftover stew, he’ll happily share in the meal.

He’s a loyal taste tester and might nudge at your leg with a hopeful whine if he thinks there's any leftover scraps.

John Hancock

Hancock loves a hearty meal, and the Sole Survivor’s cooking quickly becomes one of his favorite parts of the day.

He’ll joke that “you’re the real hero of the Commonwealth” every time you serve him something tasty.

Sweet treats like pies and cookies have him absolutely hooked—he’s got a soft spot for anything that feels like a little piece of the past.

Robert MacCready

MacCready’s not exactly a food snob, but he’s very impressed when the Sole Survivor manages to create something edible out of the wasteland’s limited ingredients.

He’ll give a sarcastic comment at first, but after one bite, he’s all about the meal. He’s particularly fond of anything that’s spicy or has some heat to it.

He’ll often try to get you to make something “big and filling” since he’s always thinking about his next meal.

Nick Valentine

Nick is a man of simple tastes, but he definitely appreciates a well-cooked meal. He’s especially impressed when the Sole Survivor can bake something using barely any ingredients.

He’ll quietly savor each bite, complimenting you on your skill with a quiet, “You’ve got a real knack for this, kid.”

Nick loves anything with a bit of sweetness, like a nice pie or dessert, especially if it reminds him of the days before the war.

Piper Wright

Piper is overjoyed by the Sole Survivor’s cooking skills, and she’ll write about it in her journal, claiming that it’s “the best thing since sliced bread”—even if there’s no bread to be found.

She’s big on comfort food, so anything that’s hearty or filling is her go-to. She’ll always ask for seconds and enthusiastically praise your cooking.

She also loves to bake with you and will insist on trying her hand at recipes, even if they don’t always turn out quite as well as yours.

Preston Garvey

Preston is always grateful for a warm meal, especially when resources are tight. He’s definitely a fan of stews or dishes that have a good balance of protein and vegetables.

He’ll often tell you that “this kind of meal is just what we need to keep going.”

Preston might even offer to help cook, especially if it involves something he knows, like preparing simple meat dishes.

Strong

Strong, while mostly focused on his search for “milk of human kindness,” is deeply impressed when the Sole Survivor manages to cook up something that smells even remotely appetizing.

He’s not picky—anything with meat or something that can be gnawed on gets a thumbs-up from him.

Strong might even try to take a larger share of the food than everyone else, but he’ll show his appreciation with a grunt or a satisfied “good food, human.”

X6-88

X6-88 is more focused on his duties as a Courser than on food, but he quietly respects the Sole Survivor’s ability to prepare meals, especially given the wasteland's limited resources.

He’s practical, so he’ll appreciate whatever you make, but don’t expect any outward praise. He’ll simply state that the meal is “efficient.”

He prefers meals that are straightforward and no-nonsense—like grilled meat or something simple but nutritious.

Ada

Ada is fascinated by the idea of cooking in the wasteland, especially since she’s a robot and can’t taste anything herself. But she’s all about making sure the meal is “perfect” and will offer helpful suggestions.

She enjoys watching you cook, often pointing out how the ingredients could be optimised for better results. But when you bake something sweet, she’ll describe it as “incredibly efficient nourishment.”

Ada is especially impressed with any food that’s meticulously prepared or has a technological flair to it.

Automatron

Like Ada, Automatron lacks the ability to enjoy food, but they still value the efficiency and resourcefulness behind the Sole Survivor’s cooking.

They’re always keen to learn about the process and might even suggest improvements based on their mechanical knowledge.

Automatron might take notes as you prepare meals and will offer praise for any dish that has a perfect balance of ingredients.

Old Longfellow

Old Longfellow is a man who’s seen it all, and he’s particularly fond of a hearty, no-frills meal after a long day. He’ll often ask for simple dishes like fish, stews, or roasted meat.

He’ll quietly sit and enjoy the meal, nodding in approval after each bite, but he doesn’t always have much to say about it.

If you make something with seafood or something that reminds him of home, he’ll reminisce about the “good old days” in Far Harbor.

Porter Gage

Gage loves anything that’s simple and easy to prepare, but he’ll be downright impressed when the Sole Survivor manages to make something “top-tier” out of almost nothing.

He’s got a taste for bold flavors, so anything with a spicy kick or unique ingredient will catch his attention.

Gage might joke about you opening a restaurant in Nuka-World, but he’s genuine when he says you’ve got skills that most people in the wasteland can only dream of.

♡If you liked this fic, please consider buying me a coffee! Ko-fi ♡

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redr0sewrites · 8 months ago

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threesome with nesta + cassian from acotar during the frenzy? i love both characters sm and saw u were taking reqs :>

hhhhh yes they are soooo fine

🥀Cw: SMUT!!!, threesome/poly, gn!reader, dirty talk, mating frenzy

🥀minors dni

cassian and nesta are wonderful partners, but when it comes to the mating frenzy??? they are literally SO overprotective and horny i just know it

from the minute the frenzy starts to the minute it ends the three of you are all over eachother. they both definitely enjoy spit roasting, with Cassian fucking you senseless while Nesta rides your face. they will absolutely make out while on top of you, and if she's feeling especially cruel, Nesta would absolute play with your clit/cock while Cassian fucks you

Nesta would be sooo mean!!! she definitely uses your sensitivity and horniness against you, even though she's just as insatiable. Nesta and Cassian are pure opposites when it comes to dirty talk, and they'll switch up on you until your fuzzy with pleasure. one minute Nesta could be spitting out the cruelest words and condescending remarks while Cassian praises you with no end in sight, and the next minute Nesta could be pampering you and praising you while Cassian whispers the filthiest shit in your ear and calls you his little slut. they are genuinely so versatile in bed, and that's only amplified during the frenzy

if you are more of a dominant person, you and Nesta DEFINITELYYYYY team up on Cassian at least a fee times, until he's all overstimulated and subby :( if you have a dick he woukd absolutely adore being pegged, but he would deny it to no end. if you don't thats ok too, you can still use a strap which will lead to the same effect- a wrecked and needy Cassian

USE HIS SENSITIVE WINGS AGAINST HIM. you and Nesta on either side of him while he's restrained, gently caressing his wings and teasing his thighs, but not touching his painfully hard cock. he'll be whimpering in minutes, he just needs you so much!

Nesta is a bit harder to team up on, but it can be managed. you'd have to start off slow, praise her and feed her ego. she loooves being pampered when she's subbing and is def a bratty pillow princess. she'll be very pliant and down for whatever, but COMPLAINS the entire time about how she can't feel a thing. so, in response, you and Cassian work together to fuck her SENSELESS. the easiest way to break her down is with incessant praise, she absolutely meltsssss

your all big fans of marking, like your all walking out of your 3 week frenzy with claw marks, hickies, and bruises on every available inch of your bodies'. your definitely gonna be wearing turtlenecks for a few weeks lmao.

you guys definitely prioritize aftercare a lot though. you always pause between sessions to get food and water, and y'all definitely bathe together. it's not always spicy either, sometimes bathing during the frenzy was intimate but not in a sexual way. lots of massages over sore muscles and praise were shared, and bathing together is one of your favorite memories of the frenzy (besides the filthy, steamy sex 💀)

honestly yall probably spend a week after the frenzy just SLEEPING and snuggling together after like barely sleeping for so long 💀

"fuuuck Nes," Cassian groaned between sloppy kisses above you, aligning his cock with your aching hole. Nesta shudders as you moan, sending vibrations against her clit. she was sitting on your face, muscular thighs framing your head as she grinded down against your tongue. Cassian was sliding his aching cock against your hole, grinding down between your folds/ass. you were already wet with preparation from your previous rounds, but the sloppy sounds of Nesta and Cassian making out above you only turned you on more.

Slowly, Cassian thrusted inward, watching in admiration as his cock sinks into your hole. "fuck, baby, takin' me so well," he murmurs, and pulls Nesta back into a breathy kiss. you whine, the fullness of his dick inside you making your clit/cock twitch with need. Nesta's hand travels lower and lower down your sternum, reaching for your pulsing sex. nimble fingers toy with your clit/dick as Nesta's thighs tremble with need.

your tongue works wonders against her aching cunt as Cassian sets a brutal pace. teeth and tongue clash together above you as your two mates make out, and the sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room. you can tell Nesta is getting close from her breathy whines, and the way her thighs tremble with each roll of her hips against your face. Cassian's cock twitches inside you as Nesta lets out an especially wanton moan, and your back arches in response.

Cassian's dick hits a sweet spot inside you that you barely knew existed, and you moan against Nesta's clit. her hips buck against your face as her orgasm washes over her, and you can feel the coil in your abdomen tightening as well. a string of curses leaves Nesta's lips as you grip onto her thighs, pulling her through her high as you continue to eat her out. Cassian nearly comes at the sight, his two perfect mates deep in their own pleasure.

Nesta's swift fingers keep working at your clit/cock until your clenched tight around Cassian, your hole practically sucking him in with each thrust. "shit, 'm gonna-" Cassians voice cracks into a moan as his orgasm tears through him. you mewl and buck your hips as he fucks you through your own high, Nesta's thighs squeezing your head as your mind glazes with pleasure.

"don't suffocate them Nes," Cassian murmurs, pulling out as you both come down from your post-orgasmic high. "oh please, they can take it. can't you, doll?" Nesta coos, and you struggle to nod from beneath her thighs. Cassian shoots her a look, and she crawls off of you. the mattress dips as she lays down besides your panting form, and she gently runs her fingers over your stomach, tracing upwards to cup your cheek.

"we weren't too rough, were we?" the question is spoken softly and genuinely, and you shake your head. "don't worry, 'm fine, Nes. just a little tired", you chuckle, and Cassian lays down on your other side. he pulls you both close, his wings enveloping you all and dousing the soft light from a nearby lantern. "lets all get some rest then, shall we?" you and Nesta both nod, worn out from hours of passionate lovemaking. as you begin to drift off to sleep, you can't help but think about how blessed you are to have such wonderful mates.

help the smut is so mid but i'm too tired to edit IM SORRRRRYYYY- I LOVED THIS REQUEST SOOO MUCH THOOOOOO I NEEEEED TO WRITE FOR ACOTAR MORE CASSIAN AND NESTA R SOOO FINEEEE LMAO

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smogfromkortalmombat1 · 5 months ago

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MK1 Lin Kuei headcannons (Cute childhood edition)

Bi-Han

As a child, he was a big fiction reader. Sci-fi, mystery, there was nothing he didn't read. Non-fiction he saved purely for his studies- it bored him completely any other time.

He wasn't one for animal companionship, but he did have an exception as a child - the Lin Kuei temples had quite a few stray cats. He got quite attached to them, feeding and caring for them frequently. In return, he got lots of impromptu snuggles from them during meditation sessions.

A favourite past-time hobby of his was carving from wood. He could spend hours at his desk working away on a project. Statues of dragons and mythical creatures from the books he read all sit on a shelf in his room, handmade by him. He treasures them all dearly.

Though not a favourite hobby of his, he did take up knitting at one point, after watching his mother. He was never good at it, but he did enjoy it. He kept stacks of random wool in his room because of this.

Speaking of his mother, Bi-Han was a complete mama's boy as a child. His mother was his go-to for all things advice. He loved her dearly.

Kuai Liang

He loved cooking as a kid- mostly the eating part, but he enjoyed the satisfaction of making his own dish, just how he wanted it. He was, and still is, a massive fan of spicy food. If he can still feel his tongue, it isn't spicy enough.

He had a fascination with wildlife growing up- especially inverts like scorpions and tarantulas. He kept many in his room as a hobby over the years. As a child, he could spew fact upon fact about each creature like a crazy man, going on for literal hours if you let him.

His favourite animal he ever kept was an Emperor scorpion. He let Tomas name him, which resulted in the abomination that is Sprinkles Jr. Despite her awful name, Kuai loved and cared for her well.

Had very little patience for a lot of things as a kid compared to his adult self. He always had to be on the move, doing something he deemed fun or exciting, rather than things that were demanded of him- for example, studying or meditating. He tried, of course, but he struggled with it for the longest time until eventually he cooled down with age.

Total daddy's boy. Absolutely adored his father growing up, and strongly idolised him. He still does as an adult.

Tomas

His native tongue is Czech, but as a child he knew bits of Russian and German. He also knew bits and pieces of English, though not nearly as well. He joined the family not knowing Chinese at all, and had to be taught. Luckily, he picked it up fairly quickly.

His favourite animal as a child were foxes. He also adored big, goofy dogs- the fluffier the better.

Most of his childhood clothes (before his grey clothing choice was finalised) were hand-me-downs from his older brothers. This meant, for a long while, Tomas wandered around in a weird dual mix of old, faded blues and yellows.

The first trick he ever learnt with his smoke magic was how to levitate, though it was an accident and out of his control, for the most part. He used to freak both Kuai Liang and Bi-Han out by randomly floating upwards sometimes, or, even worse, randomly falling out of the sky, leading to one of them having to run and catch him.

He was a mama's boy as a kid, with both his blood mother and adoptive mother. He loves them both dearly.

Thank you for reading have a gif:

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adarafaelbarba · 1 month ago

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“are you frustrated with me?” “never”

With Rafael!!

I love your work 😭

A/N: Thank you so much for the love, hun 🥰 Always makes me really happy when my writing can resonate with people ❤️

Rafael could never find reasons for you frustrating him. He loved everything about you, from your smile to your soft words and gentle hugs.

You knew his coffee and food orders by heart, you listened to him rambling, and helped him with his closing arguments when he was too stuck in his own head, even when you had no background in law.

So when you stood there, in front of him, tears in your eyes, asking if he was frustrated with you, well, quite frankly, it broke his heart.

He shot forward and pulled you in for a tight hug. "Amor, you could never frustrate me, I'm sorry my work is getting in between us, let me make it up to you, we can go to that new Korean barbeque place you've been wanting to try out."

That made you scoff a little, a teary laugh following close behind. Rafael might be a big fan of sushi, had even tried his hand at fried rice. But unlike the spicy food he'd grown up with from his mami and abuelita, spicy food from Korea was something he was not used to at all, and he'd been saying time and time again how he wasn't sure he could eat it without getting nauseous.

"We don't have to--", you tried, but he simply shook his head and kissed your forehead.

"I can get the least spicy option on the menu, lets go out, my treat, amor."

~~~

Tagging:

@plaidbooks @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @thatesqcrush @alwaysachorusgirl @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @bisexual-dreamer02 @misscharlielulu @xoxabs88xox @muchadoaboutcj @beatrice-san @meetmeatyourworst @thats-jaywalking @cursedashes @mysoulisasunflower @crazy4chickennuggets @imaginelover88 @beccabarba @itsjustmyfantasyroom @detective-giggles @guitita @ladylionstar @achataa @nessamc @peauxheaux @silversprings-mp3 @polkadotpenguin16 @pepperbstark @im-a-slut-for-this-man2 @chickensarentcheap @irishavengersassemble

Wanna be on the tag list? Fill out this form to be part of the team 🥰

#my writing #rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #law and order svu

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pizzabox-box · 1 month ago

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Okay, so we know F. Pep is intolerant to lemons, but what about other citrus fruits ? Like oranges, grapefruits and tangerines ? Or just other kinds of fruits, grapes, apples, pears or hehe… kiwis ? Or what about completely different things like spicy food, is he tolerant with spicy food ?

Fake Peppino’s intolerance to lemons comes from the fact that he can taste through his skin and being highly sensitive to acids.

His diet mostly consists of things like: his own pizza, which is essentially just his own pseudough topped with various "toppings", other clones, whatever Noisette happens to cook up, and occasionally an entire pig. Suffice to say he doesn't get the daily recommended fruit and veggie intake. But if he was offered one he wouldn't hesitate to try.

He wouldn't have much issue with most fruit and veggies, unless they are too sour or spicy. Then he wouldn't be a big fan of them. So sweet oranges, grapefruits apples, grapes are fine as long as they're not unbearably sour! And kiwi's well...depends if we are talking about the bird or the fruit. He wouldn't go out of his way to get a tangy fruit but same cannot be said about chickens distant relative.. (If you're a kiwi, for your own safety don't aproach him without supervision)

He wouldn't take spicy food very well neither. They burn him. Menthol makes him shiver, too. And you definitely don’t want him drinking coffee or alcohol. Even a little sip of either will get a strong reaction out of him. (why? thats a yap session for another time)

(Who would gave known that the silly lemon comic would turn into an important lore piece down the line lol)

#pizza tower #fake peppino #headcanons #leemonds :(#fake pep biology

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gilverrwrites · 9 months ago

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Hello could you please do some captain boomerang headcanon fluff, I don’t see enough of it on here.

AN: I can and I will. Good fluffy vibes only today, however, if you would like a reality check, please watch the video linked at the end.

Rating: General (however, wanting for swearing)

Please remember: Everything you're worried about, is going to turn out ok.

Ko-Fi || Masterlist || Request Info

He’s not much for texting, much prefers sending voice notes. These can range anywhere from simple good night/good morning notes, the longest, most pointless, probably drunken rambles, jokes he stole came up with, or professions of love.

When he texts, it’s always in 90s/early 00s style and full of emojis that don’t quite mean what he thinks they do.

Cn’t w8 2 c 👀 u 🫵l8r 👄❣️🪃 X 🌫️ Gud nite mu 🫥 u4e lol 😜 🩵🪃 xXx RUOK 4 d8 l8r??? 🌷💦 CUL ❤️‍🔥🪃 X

Has your name saved in his phone as the most ridiculous nickname you can think of, probably also with a bunch of emojis.

Dependant on your personality, petnames would include a few of the following: Darl’, darlin’, babs, babes, baby (pronounced bah-bee), sweets, hon, peachy, lovey, peanut, or doll.

Whatever your least favourite is, he will use the most cause he loves winding you up.

Swears at you, a lot. But its affectionate.

He’s not used to people doing things for him, so he is massively grateful when you do like menial domestic labour for him.

You sewed up the hole in my jacket? You’re THE best, I can’t believe you would do that for me. You did my laundry? WTF? You didn’t have to do that (he’s been wearing the same unwashed boxers for 2 weeks, someone had to) how can I ever repay you babes? You cooked for me? (It’s literally a pot-noodle) You’re an angel, I’m not welling up, shut it.

He’s really good at like, enhancing 'easy' food. He’ll add egg and chives and stuff to his packet noodles, makes the best cheese and vegemite toasty, knows just how much oil and extra cheese to add to a frozen pizza, and has mastered box mix cupcakes. His favourite is chocolate.

Uses a 5 in 1 shower gel, if and when he showers, and you cannot tell me he doesn’t blast lynx africa and/or paco rabanne 1 million so he smells woody and spicy.

However, if you have fancy smelly products of you’re own, he will use them. Gonna treat himself with a good scrub and some large helpings of your shampoo and conditioner (this one’s got multiple products for their hair, posho!)

Doesn’t matter if you use products intended for a specific skin/hair type, it’s getting used.

As a nice bonus he likes doing it cause it means your smell lingers on him when you’re not together.

Won’t admit it but he also really likes it if you burn candles and/or incense.

If you’re close enough in size, he will steal your clothes. Especially socks cause he is always wearing holes into his own.

Gets all gooey and excited when you wear his clothes, especially if you’re small enough that they look oversized, and are visibly his.

If you’re inclined to wear flowy summer dresses, he’ll go feral. Also, a big fan of linen shirts/blouses and short shorts.

When he’s dressed causal he lives in shorts and filp-flops, even in the midst of winter. Or if he’s not leaving the house he’ll just wear his boxer shorts.

Is gone for long periods of time (prison, hiding out etc) so is very clingy when you’re back together, and doesn’t really have boundaries.

Will walk in on you in the bath shower to use the toilet, or to just sit and talk to you. If you ask him nicely, he will wash your hair. Might not do a good job, but he will do it. Has his arms wrapped around your waist at all times while you’re trying to do chores or are out shopping. If he wakes before you (a rare occurrence) he will just lay on his side, watching you sleep. Might get impatient and attempt to subtly wake you by gently brushing your side or nose, or gently shaking your body.

Normally sleeps way into the day, and snores, loudly. Often wakes with a hangover. And will practically beg you to make him a bacon an egg.

Loves almost any and all brekkie food, bacon, egg, hash browns, pancakes, you name it.

Is not a cuddly sleeper. Like he can fall asleep cuddling, but he will start rolling around, splaying his arms out, kicking his legs. Huge bed hog.

Says his favourite films are action, gangster, or like bro style comedies. Think like: Road House, Indian Jones, Kill Bill, The Gentleman, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, The Hang Over.

If you put on a horror, drama, or rom com, he will not watch it with you.

But he will find things to do in the general vicinity. Or straight up do the dad thing of like standing in the middle of the room with his arms crossed. If he’s not sat with you, he’s technically not watching it.

So like, which one is actually her dad? They don’t tell you but the writ- No no no, don’t tell me, I’ll figure it out, Don’t go in the basement, there’s never anything good in the basement, oh she’s only bloody gone and went in the basement! But… Barbie doesn’t love Ken. I’m not cryin, I just got allergies, shut up an’ watch your dumb girly film.

Has a stolen tattoo gun,wants to get matching tattoos, has pro for everyone of your cons. Ideally, he just wants names/initials in hearts, but will settle for more symbolic tattoos. Like a boomerang to represent him for you, and something similar for you.

Keeping any gift you’ve ever given him for life.

I made you a friends ship braclet. Eh, ya know its not my normal kinda jewellery. You don’t ha- No, fuck off, I’m gonna wear it forever.

Would still love you if you were a worm. Hasn’t the foggiest what he would do with you. But he would love you.

Obviously gonna teach you how to use a boomerang. Even if you already know, he’s gonna show you the right way. Gotta make sure his bab is protected. (Don’t tell him that you find them impractical and are unlikely to ever use one when in need, he will sulk.)

Aforementioned video.

#captain boomerang x reader #captain boomerang imagine #captain boomerang hcs #digger harkness x reader #george digger harness x reader #gilverrwrites

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greatbigbellies · 7 months ago

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The McPreggo Menu (6/09/24 update)

While I by no means came up with the McPreggo concept, I am a very big fan of it, so I wrote up a hypothetical menu for fun! This menu got a surprising amount of attention and I received a bunch of suggestions for future items. So here, I’ve implemented more of them and given the menu another content update! I tried to fit as many ideas as I could, but if I missed yours, send another anon and I’ll work it in next time! Full menu under the cut!

Every item can be ordered individually or in a combo! Numbered combos come with your choice of a side, and a drink! Different sides have different effects, try them all! [Items suggested anonymously have a ~ with a link to their originating ask]

#1 The McPreggo Burger

The original filler-upper! Carry a singleton in minutes with this mouth watering single quarter pound patty cheeseburger, with tomatoes, lettuce, diced onion, pickles, and your choice of sauces!

#2 The Twinner

Twice as filling, twice as heavy, go full term with twins with TWO quarter pound patties, with cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, diced onion, pickles, and your choice of sauces!

#3 The Triple Stack

Sensing a pattern? Go big with triplets, with three whole quarter pound patties (That’s 12 oz of meat!) with cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, diced onion, pickles, and your choice of sauces! (Warning, Doctor’s note required for purchase)

#4 The Breaded Babymaker

A mouth watering crispy chicken sandwich topped with lettuce and mayo, on a sesame seed bun! 50/50 odds for a singleton or twins!

#5 The Labor-Inducer

Well… not QUITE real labor, but this breaded chicken sandwich packs a spicy kick with pepper sauce, knocks you up with one, and causes regular braxton-hicks for the duration of the food-induced pregnancy! Those those who enjoy a more intense experience!

#6 The Twinner Chicken Dinner

Three breaded and fried chicken strips, worth a trimester each! Each strip takes you up one trimester with twins, with each basket linked to a set of twins, so no fear going overdue by eating more than one serving!

#7 The Fish Filet Sandwich~

A tasty fish filet with light breading, with cheese and tartar sauce! Induces a singleton pregnancy with safe-but-noticeable polyhydramnios, giving extra amniotic fluid!

#8 The Quad Pod

A meal for the truly brave, comes with a double cheeseburger (The Twinner) and three chicken strips (The Twinner Chicken Dinner) to land you full of quadruplets at 40 weeks if fully consumed! (Warning, Doctor’s note required for purchase)

#9 The Family Feast Not a feast for a family, but a feast to help you MAKE one! A Triple Stack, A Breaded Babywaker, and a Twinner Chicken Dinner, to land you full of 6-7 babies, all at full term! Not for the feint of heart! (Warning, Doctor’s note and signed waiver required for purchase)

The Preggo Pizza (suggested by @mybigbellyluvrz) A new way to enjoy a McPreggo food induced pregnancy, and a great way to share the experience with friends! Each slice will induce a quantum pregnancy at 20 weeks along, with a second slice bringing it to term. Odd slices add additional babies, and even slices bring them to term. Pairs well with mozzarella sticks with marinara for a nice long Italian-food-centric impregnation session! Toppings give additional effects which increase in strength with more slices eaten! Enjoy a pregnant pizza party, or indulge yourself with high order multiples for one!

Pepperoni - +5% movement per slice

Sausage - +4% weight per slice

Canadian bacon - +4% belly width per slice

Bbq chicken - +10% stretchmark visibility per slice

Pineapple - +15% stronger cravings per slice

Peppers - +5% belly length per slice

Olives - +7.5% amniotic fluid per slice

Mushrooms - 3% lower belly per slice

Extra cheese - +5% thicker thighs, hips, and ass per slice

Breakfast (ALL DAY!)

Hash Brown

Crispy outside, soft potato-y inside. Warm morning goodness! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will make a belly drop as if full term and close to birth!

Ready-To-Pop Tarts~

Our most versatile product, each Ready-To-Pop Tart is named after the quantum baby it induces, and results in a 1-to-1 pregnancy experience as if you were carrying that baby at full term! Each name has its effects listed on the box, such as extra size, carrying low, specific cravings, and so on! Mix and match to carry multiples and craft your perfect pregnancy! Or, try a mystery unlabeled one and see who YOU get pregnant with!

Each location has a unique selection, but here are some of our franchise-wide staples~:

Percy

Carry low and wide with extra baby weight, belly width, and a dropped baby! You’ll want to unbutton pants if you’re wearing them…

Hilda

Enjoy some asymmetry with a pronounced, lopsided torpedo belly! 50/50 odds if she picks left or right, but she’ll stick to it for the whole ordeal!

Adair

Clear your pantry with cravings for sweet and salty flavors, increased taste sensation, and extra movement to enjoy while eating!

Kayla

Stretch your skin to the limit with polyhydramnios, extra baby weight, extra stretchmarks, and extra veins for good measure! Be the waddling definition of “drum tight”!

Sausage Egg Muffin

A toasted english muffin housing a breakfast sausage patty, and a folded scrambled egg! A morning classic! If eaten before other McPreggo products, will delay the onset of those products by 1 hour per breakfast sandwich. Additional sandwiches will increase the duration of the delay. Delay timer begins after full consumption of the breakfast sandwich.

Bacon Egg Griddle

Crispy strips of bacon, folded scrambled egg, between two delicious maple flavored griddles! If eaten before other McPreggo products, will cause effects of those products to onset over time instead of instantly. Each sandwich consumed causes effects to onset over the course of 30 minutes, with additional griddles slowing the onset further. Cannot slow an onset to be longer than the base pregnancy duration.

The Baby Burrito

A breakfast burrito for those who are early-risers, this morning meal has scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, melted cheese, and tater tots, wrapped in a warm flour tortilla. Gives you a singleton at 20 weeks along!

SPECIAL LIMITED TIME ITEMS

These items are only available for small windows of time, and don't interact with our other products due to their unique nature. They’re a big commitment, but provide a very genuine experience. For customers looking for something that takes more dedication than a standard combo meal.

The McCrib~

A special BBQ rib sandwich, only available during the first month of even numbered years. Slow cooked rib meat slathered in BBQ sauce, the McCrib answers the question of “what if humans could properly fully develop in the womb, rather than being born at just 9 months?”. Comparative to most other species, humans give birth very prematurely so that the baby can be safely delivered. McPreggo quantum babies aren’t ever birthed, allowing us to see what life would be like otherwise. Upon consuming a full McCrib, the customer starts on a 21 month pregnancy, spanning 7 trimesters, and allowing the quantum baby to grow to the size and weight of a one year old, with all the challenges and experiences that come with that. A slow burn experience, this pregnancy will include increased weight, size, and strength of the baby inside, finally reaching its apex after almost 2 years of uninterrupted pregnancy. It should be noted that McCrib pregnancies do not stack with each other, so only a singleton may be carried for 21 months. However, other McPreggo products will still function independently, meaning that additional temporary babies may be added, though baby altering effects from items such as the chicken nuggets, will have no effect on the McCrib baby.

The Beastly Burger

An extra large McPreggo burger stacked high with toppings, slathered in a unique “Monster Sauce”, and only sold annually during october. Initiates a 9 month long “anomalous pregnancy”, where the eater becomes pregnant with a mysterious, monstrous entity! Featuring many mouths, eyes, tentacles, and other fun additions that can be felt on the inner walls of the womb! Squirmy and active, it’ll make for a highly engaging and invigorating pregnancy! Will not interact with other McPreggo products, though they can be enjoyed in tandem. (Warning: unusual belly blemishes and strange cravings may occur)

The Festive Feast (Concept By @caitdrawsstuff2)

A unique seasonal item, sold annually during the month of december! A platter of roasted ham, sides of green beans, mashed potatoes, stuffing (with cranberry sauce), a warm roll, and a tall glass of sparkling apple cider (available in a limited time McPreggo branded reusable holiday cup)! Upon completion, initiates a singleton pregnancy which, for the next 12 days, every 24 hours, adds another baby to the consumer’s womb, resulting in full sized DUODECAPLETS by the end. If carrying twelve babies at once wasn’t enough, beginning with the first baby and repeating with each addition, the pregnancy will also incur one of 12 effects. The order of these effects is completely random, meaning only extraordinary lucky patrons will experience the same Festive Feast pregnancy twice.

The possible effects include: +15% extra baby weight, +20% stronger baby activity, +35% brighter stretchmark visibility, +12.5% additional belly length, +12.5% additional belly width, +75% craving and appetite strength, noticeable polyhydramnios, +25% vein visibility, +25% belly skin sensitivity, +12.5% hip width, Popped bellybutton, and 35% darker linea nigra. Effects cannot repeat during a single Festive Feast pregnancy. Will fully stack effects with other McPreggo products, but will continue to progress even after other items wear off. Whole Festive Feasts cannot stack. Festive Feasts are also sold frozen upon request, allowing them to be taken and enjoyed at home! It’s the gift that keeps on giving!

Sides

Fries

Crispy, salty yukon gold fries! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will make a belly lower and longer, resulting in a torpedo belly! Watch where you point that thing! (Small: +5% belly length, Medium: +7.5% belly length, Large: +10% belly length. Belly height will vary. Percentages are approximate.)

Tater Tots

Crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will make a belly wider at the sides, resulting in a beach ball belly. Look pregnant from behind too! (Small: +5% belly width, Medium: +7.5% belly width, Large: +10% belly width. Roundness will vary. Percentages are approximate.)

Onion Rings

Ring segments of onion, battered and fried! What’s not to love? If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will make a belly’s skin a little tighter, resulting in more stretchmarks and visible veins! Look at those tiger stripes! (Small: +15% stretchmark visibility, Medium: +25% stretchmark visibility, Large: +35% stretchmark visibility. Percentages are approximate.)

Mozzarella Sticks

Breaded and deep fried sticks of mozzarella cheese! Warm and soft, with a great cheese pull! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will extend the effects of an active food-based pregnancy by 90 minutes per stick eaten! Comes in a 4 piece, 6 piece, or 8 piece!

Fried Pickle Chips

A staple with pregnant people, breaded slices of pickle, salted and fried to perfection. If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase the strength of pregnancy cravings when consumed! (Small: +20% craving strength, Medium: +40% craving strength, Large: +60% craving strength. Percentages are approximate.)

Chicken Nuggets~

A staple, back and heavier than ever! A 6 piece nugget with your choice of dipping sauce! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase the weight of babies by 2% per nugget! Careful! That adds up faster than you’d expect!

Spicy Chicken Nuggets

Made with a breading that brings the heat, rile up your cargo with this delicious side! A 6 piece spicy nugget comes with your choice of dipping sauce! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase the activity and energy of quantum babies by 4% per nugget!

Curly Fries~

Perfect for the pregnant patron who wants to show off! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will Increase the interactivity and responsiveness of the quantum babies to external pressure. A small grants a moderate increase, medium a considerable amount, and large an intense increase! Perfect for filming baby kicking videos or entertaining a handsy partner!

Chili Cheese Fries~

Enjoy a platter of chili covered fries, topped with melted cheese! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will induce light bloating and gassiness, which may cause increased burping.

Sweet Potato Fries~

Bright orange and delightfully sweet! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause the consumer to become sleepy and potentially nap prone, perfect for winding down after a long day of pregnancy. A small helps the consumer relax, a medium makes them nap prone, and a large will make them very sleepy! (Do not operate a motor vehicle while or shortly after consuming)

Side Salad (Suggested by @zaloog81)

A classic salad that gives you a healthy boost! A small salad that goes with any of our fine salad dressings (see dips, dressings, and sauces). If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase energy and lower fatigue of the eater by a noticeable amount! Combo with your favorite dressing to specialize for your next activity!

Hand Mixed Sodas!

Our Hand Mixed Sodas are made with a carbonated base, and are customizable with shots of flavor, each with their own effects! Combine your favorites for a delightful, refreshing augmentation to your pregnancy experience!

Cherry

A summertime classic with all the Red No. 40 you know and love! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will darken the visible linea nigra line on the belly by 20% per shot of flavoring!

Mango

Tangy, tropical, and uniquely sweet! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause stretchmarks to spread of places other than the belly, traveling across the hips, thighs, and arms too! More shots means more coverage!

Grape

The classic artificial cough syrup variety you grew up with, now with a twist! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase blood flow to belly skin, giving it extra visible “blush”. Increases belly blush by 25% per shot.

Orange

Unique and refreshing, goes with most other tropical fruits! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause the belly to glow with a safe, heatless light from within! Starts with a soft glow and grows brighter with more shots, though will never go above that of a laval lamp. Use Pineapple, Peach, and Blue Raspberry shots to color the glow!

Pineapple

Includes that tingling sensation from the pineapple enzymes eating you back! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will tint any glow effects from the orange syrup a bright yellow color! 3 shots reaches full color saturation.

Peach

Ripe and juicy, tastes like it’s straight form Georgia! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will tint any glow effects from the orange syrup a vibrant red color! 3 shots reaches full color saturation.

Blue Raspberry

Why is it blue? Who cares? Still tastes great! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will tint any glow effects from the orange syrup a cool blue color! 3 shots reaches full color saturation.

Lemonade

Tart opener with a sweet finish, and pairs with pretty much every other option! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase belly skin sensitivity to touch by 20% per shot.

Lemon/Lime~

Citrusy and a little sour! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will simulate the sensation of hiccups from your quantum babies with increasing strength per shot.

Dips, Dressings, and Sauces!

Caesar Salad Dressing

A mix of dijon mustard, lemon juice, and worcestershire sauce perfect for anyone craving a classic caesar salad! If drizzled over a McPreggo side salad and eaten, will increase nesting drive by 40% for the duration of the McPreggo pregnancy. The energy given by the salad will be put toward this nesting instinct.

Tangy Vinaigrette

An old favorite with a bite, this vinaigrette goes great on our side salad! If drizzled over a McPreggo side salad and eaten, will increase joint flexibility and ease of movement by a noticeable amount. Make your maternity yoga class a breeze with our lovely dressing!

Thousand Island Dressing

An american classic, thousand island is a great topper to our side salad. If drizzled over a McPreggo side salad and eaten, will increase sense of smell and taste substantially, making your craving foods taste even better!

Ranch Dressing

Classic thick, creamy ranch, good for nuggets and salads alike! When combined with any McPreggo food, will increase the visibility of veins on the belly by 60%!

Marinara Sauce

Take the routine out of your usual McPreggo order with out tomato-y marinara sauce! When eaten with our mozzarella sticks, will increase the duration of the pregnancy by a random amount, varying from 10-40%!

BBQ sauce

Tangy and a little sweet, our BBQ sauce can’t be beat! If pregnant with a McPreggo product and fully aware of this sauce’s effects before eating, will induce a slightly hazy, forgetful “pregnancy brain” sensation for the duration of the food pregnancy!

Fry sauce

A thick fry sauce for an even thicker patron! Enjoy this northwestern classic and round out a little! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause thighs and buttocks to grow visibly thicker, with increasing effects the more is eaten.

Ketchup

We don’t need to pitch ketchup to you. It’s ketchup. You know you like it. If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will shift the distribution of babies within the womb to make it visibly lopsided. Will never push babies into an unsafe or painful position for either party.

Mustard~

Classic yellow mustard with a tummy-altering twist! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will shift the distribution of babies within the womb to make it visibly oblong, causing a tummy that’s considerably wider than it is “tall”. Will never push babies into an unsafe or painful position for either party.

Hot Mustard (Concept By @wannabemumma)

A familiar favorite with heat that sneaks up on you! If eaten with a McPreggo Product, will hasten the onset of the effect of that food item, reducing the growth or change duration by about 90%! (Takes the usual 45 second duration down to just under 5!) Really put the rapid back in rapid pregnancy!

Honey Mustard (Concept By @wannabemumma)

A sweeter version of an old favorite! If eaten with a McPreggo product, will cause the effects to onset more slowly, over approximately 5 minutes. Stacks additively with other onset-lengthening effects

Smoothies and Frozen Drinks

Tropical Mist Smoothie

Featuring peach, guava, and passionfruit, this tropical smoothie makes you feel like you just spent an afternoon on the beach! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will give the drinker the visual effects of healthy sun exposure, with no UV ray-based downsides! Enjoy a subtle tan and occasional freckles! Visual effects will be most strongly concentrated on the midriff.

Strawberry Smoothie

Elegant in its simplicity, the Strawberry Smoothie tastes exactly how it says on the tin! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will soften the skin by a noticeable degree, lasting until the end of the quantum pregnancy. Effect will be most noticeable on the midriff.

Pineapple Mango Smoothie

A tangy and refreshing combo, complete with the enzymes that eat you back! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause tightening of the womb and ab muscles. Not enough to feel like a contraction to the drinker, but will “pull in” and tighten the belly, as well as make it considerably more firm to the touch. A great middle ground between being in the third trimester, and experiencing braxton hicks.

Acai Blueberry Smoothie

Both tasty and health conscious! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will shift the womb up, allowing the drinker to carry higher. May cause mild chest tightness from the internal shifting, but will never reach a level that is alarmingly uncomfortable or dangerous.

Kale Smoothie

Get your daily greens in smoothie form! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause cravings for veggies, legumes, grains, and other foliage. Is a great start to one of our salads!

Mixed Berry Smoothie

Enjoy a mix of strawberry, blueberry, raspberry, AND blackberry, all in one vitamin C packed cup! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause cravings for fruit of all varieties.

Dragonfruit Smoothie

A mix of dragonfruit with some supporting orange and mango, this pink drink is makes a fantastic pairing with any of our entrees. If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause cravings for proteins, animal or plant based, meaning vegetarians can enjoy its effects too!

Carmel Frappe Decaf (induce dessert cravings)

A sweet carmel opening with a bitter coffee finish, without any caffeine for safe pregnant consumption! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause cravings for sweets, with particular preference for baked goods and ice creams! A fantastic combo drink if you plan to stay for dessert.

Desserts

Chocolate Chip Cookie~

A classic treat with a cute twist! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cycle through belly button types, with each cookie going to the next one in the cycle. Starts with an innie, then pops into an outie, then flattens out as though your navel was too stretched to even pop! If stretched, the next cookie reverts you back to an innie!

Ice Cream Sundae

Comes in hot fudge or carmel! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will lower the visibility of blemishes like stretchmarks or visible veins, resulting in a smoother, softer skinned tummy!

Ice Cream Sandwich

A classic straight from the ice cream truck! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will relieve back pain and contractions brought on by late-stage food-based pregnancy!

McBlendie

Cool, creamy soft serve blended with your choice of twix or reeses peanut butter cups! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will reset all other side and desert item effects. Will not hasten a McPreggo food pregnancy!

Milkshakes!~

Cookies and Crème

A thick and creamy milkshake that’s loaded with blended chocolate cookie bits! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase milk production and potentially even breast size! (Small: +100% milk production, Medium: +175% milk production, Large: +250% milk production. Percentages are approximate, breast size increase will vary)

Apple Pie Delight

A whole slice of apple pie dumped right into our vanilla milkshake mix and blended until thick! It still counts as A La Mode, right? If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase sex drive in those who drink it and are fully aware of its effects before consuming. (Small: +75% libido, Medium: +125% libido, Large: +175% libido. Percentages are approximate and based on starting sex drive. Does not function without awareness)

Maternal Marionberry

Oregon marionberries, in a milkshake, served so thick you probably need a spoon. Need we say more? If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will widen and soften hips, and give you that pregnancy glow! (Small: +5% hip width, Medium: +7.5% hip width, Large: +10% hip width. Percentages are approximate)

Marshmallow Plush

A McPreggo specialty, a delightful blend of marshmallow cream with cool vanilla makes for a surprisingly heavy drink! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, soften the exterior of a pregnant belly, making you plush and plump! (Small: +15% belly fat, Medium: +25% belly fat, Large: +35% belly fat. Percentages are approximate)

At McPreggo, we strive to create a genuinely enjoyable dining experience, with a special twist! Our food has the unique, distinct, and trademarked ability to create a simulated pregnancy in anyone who eats it! Combine any number of pregnancy-inducing entrees with pregnancy affecting sides and desserts, and you can custom tailor your McPreggo experience to exactly your desires! Experience anything from a singleton to a septuplet pregnancy with our professionally prepared meals, and shape your belly and pregnancy experience however you wish. As a subsidiary of Quantum Yum LLC, we guarantee our food and quantem-multiversal pregnancies are safe, ethically sourced, and best of all, enjoyable!

Please note that pregnancies from our food will never result in labor and will revert after 6 hours. However, a pregnancy is still a pregnancy, so expect back pain, swelling, internal movement, and cravings, among other side effects, from our meals. We hope you enjoy your food and have a fun and safe time trying out pregnancy! Sincerely, the R&D team at Quantum Yum LLC.

Oh… you’re still reading? You must be here for the secret menu then…

I won’t be coy or keep you waiting, you’ve been patient enough. ;)

The McPreggo Secret Menu

Overdue Strip Basket

A logical extension of an existing menu item, enjoy a 4 or 5 piece chicken basket with your choice of sauce! When ordered off of the secret menu, the twins continue to grow at a rate of 1 trimester per strip, meaning a basket will land you with twins in their 4th or 5th trimester based on the size you ordered. Enjoy carrying twins at multiple months overdue!

The Octomom ~

Simple but effective, an 8 patty burger (that’s 2 lbs of meat) with all the usual fixings. A slog to eat, a joy to carry. Nadya Suleman walked so we could waddle.

Carnivore’s Craving (Suggested by @wannabemumma)

Every meat on the lunch menu, on one gargantuan sandwich, granting one gargantuan pregnancy! Comes topped with fry sauce drizzle (yes, the stuff that makes your thighs and ass thicker), and an optional free small Marshmallow plush shake!

The sandwich in question includes: 1 beef patty, 1 chicken patty, 1 fish patty, 2 chicken strips, 2 chicken nuggets, and 2 spicy nuggets. This, when fully consumed, grants the consumer either full term triplets or quadruplets (50/50 odds), second trimester twins, with all babies 4% heavier and 8% more active, with polyhydramnios to top it off. Meatlovers, eat your heart out!

Maternal Masochist

For customers who want to push their pregnancy toward a more intense route, enjoy a Labor Inducer with spicy nuggets and ketchup, to get pregnant with one, enjoy strong braxton hicks contractions with an active baby, who’s also lopsided in your belly. About as uncomfortable as it gets, add additional quantum babies at your own risk.

“Has Pregnancy Increased Your Sex Drive?”

Includes a Baby Burrito, side salad with vinaigrette, triple-shot lemonade soda, and large apple pie delight! Get just pregnant enough to reap the effects. The side salad gives energy while the vinaigrette gives flexibility, the lemonade soda makes belly more sensitive, and the apple pie delight ramps up sex drive. Pair with other entrees for more belly, or mozz sticks for more longevity.

The Bottomless Belly

Includes a McPreggo single burger with a large side of fried pickle chips, with thousand island dressing for dipping. Pushes cravings into overdrive, making anything taste good. Go home and polish off every leftover in the house. Enjoy the food coma!

Model Mommy

Enjoy a Triple stack, with onion rings on the burger, cherry mango grape soda, and tater tots and ranch dressing on the side! All of the possible markings, stretch marks spread everywhere, veins, blush, linea nigra, and an extra wide triplet belly to display it all on! The ideal tummy for a pre-pregnancy try on challenge!

Gravid Gambler

Chicken nuggets, slathered in bbq sauce, with 2 Breaded babymaker patties as buns, with a side of mozz sticks, and marinara sauce! Roll the dice on twins to quads, add random extra duration, and throw in extra weight and some forgetfulness to keep it interesting!

Extra Thicc!

Enjoy a Twinner, 2 large tots with fry sauce, and an exclusive Marionberry Marshmallow Milkshake! Go for twins, go wide with the belly, then enjoy wide hips, soft ass, thick thighs, and squishy tummy. Be the pregnant cuddle buddy your friends deserve!

Sisters From Different Misters Sandwich~

Like the Land, Sea, and Air from an unnamed competitor, but with a pregnant twist! Enjoy a double burger, a chicken sandwich patty, and a fish filet all the same sandwich. End up with, 4-5 babies, with a garnish of polyhydramnios to boot!

#not bellies #long post #mcpreggo #the mcpreggo menu tag

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forgeofthenine · 1 year ago

Note

So I met a fellow tiefling bachelors enthusiast and we got into a conversation about weather or not the three would like foods from earth. Specifically pizza. What do you think will happen when the modern s/o (post absolute) makes them pizza for the first time?

I've gotta admit Anon, this did end up becoming more of a broad 'modern food' reaction, but I did add all of their opinions on pizza! I hope you still enjoy it :)

How the tiefling bachelors react to modern food

Dammon

Dammon strikes me as the kind of guy that genuinely really likes pizza

He's not picky with food, you can top it with anything and give him any type of base and he'll still enjoy it

I actually think he'd like pizzas with unique toppings, he'd be big on olives on pizza, or Hawaiian style ones with pineapple, and he'd love dessert pizza

One of Dammons favourite at home date night ideas ends up being cooking up a pizza dinner together

Both of you filling the counter with potential toppings and very occasionally sabotaging each others pizza

He'd also like other more 'modern' foods, think hot dogs, popcorn, and shoe string style chips

Hot dogs in particular he'll happily load up with all the fixings, you'll start to wonder if he has more toppings than hot dog

Dammon is a defender of loaded fries too, and he's always offering you a taste of whatever topping combo he's come up with this time

Zevlor

I feel like Zevlor wouldn't be a big fan of pizza

Modern pizza chains would be too greasy for his taste and homemade pizza just doesn't hit the spot

I feel like if he could though, Zevlor would get really into modern barbeque and smoked meat culture

As soon as he realises the possibilities there's no stopping him

I think Zevlor would really vibe with burgers, particularly because with the right kind of meat and toppings it's not too greasy

A big fan of chicken burgers, and if he is making a burger with beef then he's a huge supporter of beetroot on burgers

He'd love having a wood smoker too, absolutely the type to put research and practice into making the best smoked brisket and smoked fish

The good food and sense of accomplishment really keep him circling back to the hobby, very quickly becoming an expert

Zevlor loves seeing your reactions to his latest food endeavours too

Rolan

Okay, I feel like Rolan has no strong opinions of pizza, hot dogs, or burgers

They're all something he where he could take it or leave it, not a big deal to him

He does appreciate it if you cook any of these for him though

However, there are some modern foods he absolutely loves

One of them is sushi, he's obsessed from first taste

Rolan loves a variety of sushi but his favourites include tuna, salmon, egg, and avocado

He likes that it's quick and easy to eat without him feeling bogged down afterwards

When he's wanting something a bit different he'd go for Korean fried chicken

I see Rolan as someone that handles spice really well and I think he'd enjoy some spicy fried chicken

Between the crunch as he bites into it and all the different spices used have him addicted

His love of spicy food doesn't end there though, this man would love biryani

The spicier the better for him

Unless you're also good with spice don't ask for a bit of Rolans food, or you might find your tongue burning

#bri answers #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 x reader #bg3 x reader #baldurs gate 3 dammon #bg3 dammon #dammon x reader #baldurs gate 3 zevlor #bg3 zevlor #zevlor x reader #baldurs gate 3 rolan #bg3 rolan #rolan x reader

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save-the-villainous-cat · 1 year ago

Note

Please may I have experienced superhero x rookie terrified villain with many many spicy?? I shall trade u my driving license for it. Big please.

The villain punched them in the jaw — accidentally.

It was the hero’s fault, at least partially, since they had decided to sneak up on them. The villain was in the middle of a robbery, concentrating on breaking glass and stealing ancient archeological artefacts. When the villain turned around, heart pounding in their chest, they put a hand on their mouth and stared at their nemesis.

The punch had hurt the villain’s knuckles too, turning them red and making them ache but the villain’s jaw looked the exact same. They had taken a few steps back, had even mumbled a quiet “fuck,” however, now they only smirked.

“Damn,” they said. “That’ll bruise.”

The villain considered running away. The ancient dagger was in their hand, worth millions on the black market.

“…you’re welcome?”

“You disabled the security system, that was smart. But you didn’t think of the fast food restaurant across the street. People watched you break into the museum.” The hero was tall. And usually, the villain was the tall one in their friend group but the hero seemed to be more present than the villain.

They could’ve blamed it on authority but the villain suspected it was focus.

They held up their hands as if to give up.

“Sorry to cause you any trouble, officer.”

“You know I’m not with the police,” the hero said. They took a step towards the villain and in this situation, they could’ve easily taken control over the villain. The punch hadn’t really affected them, hadn’t even intimidated them. “Not a big fan of teams, you know?”

“Ahh, lone wolf.” The villain’s grip around the dagger tightened and they slowly took a step back, their boots crushing the glass on the ground. “Intriguing.”

Would the hero actually put them in jail? Yeah, stealing wasn’t right but the villain needed that goddamn money.

The hero grinned smoothly, whereas sweat ran down the villain’s back.

God, this was what? The fifth time they were seeing each other?

“You like that?”

“I didn’t say that,” the villain replied quickly, maybe a little too quickly. There was a dagger in the villain’s hand, they realised, so they pointed it at the hero confidently. “But I’d like to leave now.”

The hero shook their head and tsked.

“Are you sure you want to add assault to this robbery? Doesn’t look good on a resume, trust me.” They crossed their arms in front of their chest.

“Well, I already punched you in the jaw, so…” Another step forward. Another step back. The hero cocked their head curiously, observing the villain’s movements carefully.

“Oh, you wouldn’t dare.” And the villain hadn’t thought that they would dare but they decided to close their eyes (dumb thought) and stab the hero blindly (even dumber).

Their eyes opened wide when the hero grabbed their wrist and managed to push them to the ground. Suddenly, the dagger they wanted to steal was pressed against their throat and the hero sat on top of them, face only centimetres away from them. All of the air left the villain’s lungs as their heart pumped blood through their system at abnormal speed.

The ground underneath them was hard and the hero was heavy on their hips. They stared up at them, mouth gaping.

“You’re pretty feisty, no?” the hero asked. They leaned in, lips against the villain’s ear. “And provocative.”

The villain didn’t know what to say to that, couldn’t even think of a dumb response. They tried to get up but the hero pushed them down lazily, as if they were bored.

“If you behave, I’ll call it attempted robbery in my report and we can call it a night.” They shrugged. “I’m a generous hero, y’know, and you’re kinda cute.”

“Cute?” The villain could feel their cheeks heat up. Whatever mind games the hero was playing, it worked. The villain didn’t feel like stealing anytime soon.

“Kinda cute. I’ll have to check you for other weapons now.” The villain was sure their whole body was turning a dark red as the hero’s fingers went down their body. Probably the worst part about this was how careful the hero was, how intimate yet respectful the situation was. The villain watched them search for weapons (which were nonexistent) with gentle fingers that weren’t lewd.

The villain didn’t know if they were falling for their nemesis or if they were just touch-starved.

“Hm. Brave little villain, no?” Once again, the hero tilted their head, as if they were toying with their prey. “Let’s talk about this.”

“This feels like a date,” the villain whispered, eyes staring up in shock.

“…who says it isn’t?” The hero winked and began their interrogation.

#not really spicy!!#writing snippet #heroxvillain snippet #heroxvillain prompt #heroes and villains #villain #hero #hero x villain #heroxvillain #an answer for an ask #request

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putschki1969 · 2 months ago

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🇹🇭YKL vol.#20 ～Asia Tour 20th Special SETLIST～　【Bangkok】 Live Report🇹🇭

Wow, what a week it has been. My Thailand trip was an exciting but very exhausting experience. I'm finally back home and after spending an entire day just relaxing on Tuesday, I feel somewhat ready to tackle this live report. I'm back to work and there's a lot to do but I still want to post as much as possible before I lose all of my motivation. Still took me several days to finish this so I am sorry for the delay🙏 I'll start with some general stuff from the day of the live and then continue with a detailed report. Without further ado, let's get to it〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

Before The Live

The concert was held on November 15th at Bangkok Union Hall. At that point I had already been in Thailand for two and a half days doing all sorts of Kalafina and touristy stuff. Needless to say, I was quite exhausted from my previous activities (more on that in a future post) but I was determined to enjoy the day to the fullest. The only major thing planned for that day was a meet-up with some fellow fans to get lunch and dinner so thankfully, nothing too strenuous. Although one could argue that social interactions like this are always a big struggle for me :P Anyway, I headed to the venue quite early in the morning to meet my friends. We were doing some last-minute shopping at a nearby mall to complete the presents for Keiko and Hikaru. Also, we wanted to check out our flower stand which had been put up earlier that morning. I was beyond happy to participate in this particular flower stand project. The HiKei chibis turned out super cute and the banner was also adorable (just look at little Moo Deng🦛). I'm a little bummed though that I didn't get to take the cardboard print home with me since the girls requested the flower stand to be brought to their dressing room after the live (initially, we had planned to take all the decorative stuff off the flower stand after the concert before the flower shop picked it up but alas, it wasn't meant to be). Oh well, we got all those sweet pics with Keiko and Hikaru so that pretty much erased any feelings of disappointment. Thankfully, I got my acrylic key-holders and stickers as a little consolation. I will certainly treasure them forever. During the meet-up with some fellow fans, I also got a bunch of presents, including some gorgeous fan-made articles for the two lives in China. Honestly, I feel so blessed to have received all of this. Thank you so much to everyone who thought of me!

Speaking of fellow fans, I appreciated everyone who came up to me to say "hi". I was also very happy about all the yummy souvenirs. The suncakes from Taiwan saved my life during the following days because I always had a lovely snack to accompany my morning coffee. Sorry if I came across as awkward or reserved to some of you, I am not used to being in big crowds like that and meeting strangers is not among my strengths. Also wish I had gotten more commemorative pics with everyone but oh well, in the heat of the moment it's easy to forget about stuff like that.

For lunch we had planned to go to a Hainanese Chicken place but unfortunately, they didn't have enough room for our group so we ended up going to KFC XD. I forgot to take pictures but our order was honestly not that exciting anyway. I was so eager to try spicy food during my stay in Bangkok but that stuff at KFC was a total let-down (probably our fault though for not looking properly at the menu - they may have had some spicier stuff that we just didn't see). Dinner that day more than made up for it though since my main dish was incredibly delicious. Don't ask me what it was called, it was some sort of fried pork concoction with garlic and chili, simply fabulous and probably one of the best things I had during that trip.

Despite having a lot of fun during these activities, I kinda regret not being able to see anything of the Loy Krathong festivities that day. The weird timing of the concert would have made it very inconvenient to check out any of the festival sites and on top of that there were some bad weather forecasts so no one wanted to risk getting wet😢 It's a real shame but oh well, I guess the live was worth it.

♪The Live♪

Seat

I was very lucky to have dedicated friends who made sure I'd get a VIP front-row seat right across from Keiko's spot on the stage [the picture below was taken at the end of the concert when I was already walking outside so it doesn't properly reflect my point of view - I was seated a little more to the right side]. She was pretty much right in front of me during the entire live so of course, I was in heaven. Taking my eyes off her was a real challenge and at times I honestly felt a little bad for the other singers because I didn't really pay that much attention to them whenever Keiko was on stage. Also, this might make me sound like a perv but I was absolutely mesmerised by Keiko's legs. During her main solo parts she would always turn to the side or turn her back to the audience. Not sure why (maybe because so the audience would focus on her singing rather than her gorgeous face? Or she was a little self-conscious? Who knows). Either way, during these parts her legs were on full display and since her skirt was quite short on one side, you could basically get a glimpse of her tiny safety shorts with every tiny move she made 🫣

One tiny complaint I had was that the stage was quite far away from the audience area and they even felt the need to put up a relatively high metal barrier which created a weird sense of distance despite being all the way up in the front. Nevertheless, the concert felt very intimate to me and I think for that reason, I enjoyed it much more than my past Yuki Kajiura live experiences. I also gained a new appreciation for certain songs that I previously didn't care for all that much. I honestly can't stress this enough, experiencing a concert like this in such an intimate manner is vastly superior to watching a DVD/BD/live stream or even attending it in a spot somewhere further away from the stage. Everything feels and sounds completely different. Your entire body is getting caught in this spectacle and you get a full-on adrenaline rush. It's during these moments when I barely notice any flaws or mishaps. I've been made fun of in the past for always writing these overly positive and raving reviews of concerts but I personally don't even notice half of the bad stuff when I am on such a high. Plus, I don't enjoy lingering on the negative stuff which is why you won't see much of that in any of my reports.

Venue

To be fair, it wasn't a particularly good concert hall, at least in my opinion. The venue was a lot smaller than expected and it felt more like a convention hall rather than a proper concert hall. There are much better venues available in Bangkok but they were probably already booked or too expensive. Also, from what I've heard, the concert tickets didn't sell that well so it was probably a good thing that they stuck with this sort of venue. At any rate, it was very conveniently located at a MRT/BTS station so yay for that. The acoustics were decent enough I guess but nothing to write home about. The sound system could have used some improvements though, I don't think the instruments and vocals were very well-balanced throughout most of the concert. But maybe that could be chalked up to my position in the audience. Just a little disclaimer here, I am not very tech-savvy in that regard but on more than one occasion I noticed that the sound was kinda off...Mind you, not to an extent that would have taken away from my overall enjoyment of the concert but enough for me to notice it several times.

Setlist:

the world: Will always prefer Keiko on main but it is what it is, Joelle on main is fine too. It's a good song so it's a treat to hear it live no matter who is leading. The harmonies at the end didn't quite work for me. Was a bit all over the place. I think the sound system was at fault here.

in the land of twilight, under the moon: Not usually one of my faves but I thoroughly enjoyed this rendition.

vanity: What a blessing to hear this live in concert again! My first time was in Taiwan and I don't think I ever recovered from it. Correct me if I am wrong though but they made a big change during the performance regarding Keiko's epic yayayay part. She flawlessly did her solo of course but then when Joelle starting to sing that final chorus, she didn't continue to sing in the background which she would usually do. I found that very unusual. Also checked the bootleg recordings from the live in China and she did the same thing there too. Huh...Since when did they change it? That was a bit of a bummer to be honest since the very final part felt less epic because of it.

My long forgotten cloistered sleep: So, so good!! Huge fan! Joelle is getting better at it too so I am enjoying her version more and more.

I swear: Wow, what a revelation! I did not expect to suddenly fall in love with this song. I am obviously a huge Keiko-stan but due to her using her cutesy voice in this, it's never really appealed to me. It's always been one of those songs that I preferred to skip during re-watches of home video releases because it didn't really do anything for me. This time though, it felt like Keiko was serenading me specifically (a delusion on my part of course but let me have that little fangirl moment XD). Anyway, this is what I meant earlier. All of a sudden, a song has a new meaning to you and it's only because you get to experience it on such a personal level. The lyrics couldn't be more appropriate: "♪I know, I’m in love♪"

fiction: Not my cup of tea so I tend to skip this but Joelle in particular always does a great job with this song. Her voice is a perfect fit. Definitely my favourite performance so far because I was more into it than usual.

I reach for the sun: Love, love, love.

in the garden of sinners: Damn it, this one hurt so much, I literally almost cried. I don't even really know why but I could barely handle it. All I wanted to hear was Wakana together with Keiko and honestly, it was her voice in my mind, Joelle didn't exist for me in those moments. No matter what happens, I will always associate these melodies with Wakana and Keiko. On one hand, this performance made me incredibly sad but on the other hand, it made me feel even more grateful about the upcoming Kalafina Anniversary Live. Just the thought of hearing the three of them together again is bringing tears to my eyes.

ARIA: What a shame. I knew what to expect of course but it still hurt to hear Joelle sing the chorus. Unlike others, I didn't think that Hikaru sounded all that bad so she could have definitely handled the chorus (especially being backed by Keiko). She might not have sounded her best but who cares?! This is HER song so she should be in the lead. Period. I remember someone saying that Yuki wanted to go back to the original key (more of a speculation, as far as I know, it's not actually confirmed) so she gave the chorus to Joelle but Joelle was kinda struggling with it too so ultimately, we didn't really gain anything from having her in the lead. On a side note, I am just so relieved that Keiko and Joelle didn't do the infamous arm gesture that Wakana and Keiko used to do all the time. All of this sounds rather negative but to be honest, I still liked the performance despite being a little disappointed with the vocal arrangement. it's one of my all-time favourite Kala-songs so it's always a pleasure to hear it.

Magia: By now I am used to the FictionJunction cover version of this and it's really quite good. Solid performance. No notes.

Kimi no Gin no Niwa: Again, good stuff but since I don't particularly like the song it was just okay to me.

ring your bell: Ugghhh, probably my least favourite performance of the night. It's such a difficult song to perform and I honestly don't even like most of Kalafina's live versions but this one was hard to get through. Maybe the sound system was to blame a bit because LINO LEIA's microphone did some weird stuff that made her singing sound worse than it probably was. Plus, I honestly don't think she is a very good fit for the song. Hell, not even Wakana is a good fit for the song 90% of the time. For some reason, LINO LEIA kept using her more generic singing voice when instead, she should've opted for a more controlled head voice. Towards the end we heard a more solid delivery but the rest was unfortunately a bit messy.

to the beginning: Okay I guess. It's certainly one of the better Kalafina covers they do at YKL because Joelle and Yuriko add a lot of dimension. And since I have never been a fan of the song to begin with, it's not like I am missing Wakana too much.

Yasashii Yoake: The See-Saw section of the live was so much more fun than I had expected. Actually really surprised how much I enjoyed it since I am not too familiar with Yuki's old work and don't usually listen to any of it. Also, with Keiko not playing a big role in this corner, I thought I wouldn't be into it. But I guess the songs are just really good with catchy melodies so I couldn't help but like them. Also, my proximity to the stage once again helped me to have a bit more appreciation for the music. All three songs were featured at Kaji Fes. but I don't recall them leaving a huge impression on me. Back then I didn't mind them but I didn't get too excited. This time, I was having a great time from the get-go. Love the Joelle/Yuriko duo here. Joelle's voice works super well for this type of song.

Obsession: I remember not being particularly impressed by the Kaji Fes. performance but the Bangkok version was so cool. LINO LEIA and Keiko did a great job. So cool!! After that rather mediocre "ring your bell" performance, it was nice to hear LINO LEIA sing in a more comfortable range.

Senya Ichiya: Starting to love rito's vocals more and more. She's so criminally underused during these lives. Despite being promoted to "regular" singer, she really doesn't get to do much.

the main theme of “L.O.R.D”: One of my all-time faves. Joelle's best song if you ask me. Will never get tired of hearing it. Although I feel like at this point Joelle had already run out of steam a little because the performance didn't quite hit the spot in terms of oomph-factor. I think it's because Joelle had to carry 90% of the show and was thus running on low-heat towards the end. Still had a blast!

absolute configuration: Love having all the girls on stage for these sort of epic battle songs. Gorgeous harmonies.

luminous sword: Same as above. Perfect transition and a lovely continuation of the epicness.

蒼穹のファンファーレ: Typically not one of my favourite songs but yet again, I found myself enjoying it more than I usually would. The heat on stage was contagious so I simply got swept away in the excitement.

En. the image theme of Xenosaga II: Don't remember much of this but it was nice.

En.nowhere: Wow, wow, wow! What an amazing performance. So much more energised than during the Kaji Fes concert. Definitely one of the songs where I very much appreciated my closeness to the stage. I could really feel the heat and had such a blast, especially when Keiko began to really interact with the audience. Almost made me want to stand up but in the end, I remained seated (really not the type to move a lot during a concert). I have to agree with everyone who has already shared their thoughts on the other Asia live performances, this was definitely one of the highlights for Hikaru as far as her vocal delivery was concerned. Her voice was very powerful here.

En.into the world: I love that this has become almost a staple of YKL. It's such a gorgeous song with a beautiful message and I think Joelle as well as Yuriko manage to improve the overall harmonies with their added vocals.

#kalafina #kajiura yuki #yuki kajiura #keiko #hikaru #report #live report #fictionjunction #ykl vol 20 #long text post #personal

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