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team fortress 2 finally getting rid of the bots after 5 years
work on the team fortress 2 comic continuing after 7+ years
half life 3 development looking more likely than ever with legitimate code, file, and voicework leaks referencing a new non-VR single-player game from valve featuring a HEV suit wearing protagonist and Xen creatures and concepts
shoutout to the valve fan that found the genie lamp. you a real one
#liz blogs#valve#team fortress 2#tf2#half life#half life 3#what did i say. what did i fucking say.#once again the impossible becomes commonplace#valve exists as a company to walk into the gaming industry. slap their dicks on the table. and yell THIS IS HOW ITS DONE#and the gaming industry has never been in a more sorry state than it is now. maybe second only to the 80s i think. something something ET#in b4 its called Half Life Xen as all the files reference ''hlx''. hl3 fakeout. but its another half life game.#half life 3 has been ''made'' multiple times in various states but its never been up to standards. whatever this project is though sounds l#like its very far in development. maybe they didnt give up this time#ive never been closer in my life to actually saying half life 3 confirmed. its not confirmed but its looking really good for once#crazy year to be a valve fan i'll tell you what#its only the actual objective most anticipated game of all time. no biggie#edit - added a link for the comic news for those who dont know. and the bot bans havent been announced in one place anywhere#but you can literally just look it up on youtube or twitter. valve has been mass-banning bots for the last month. fixtf2 worked
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little pout
$app + top surgery fund + wishlist
#my job isn't scheduling me the hours i need to cover my ass this month so i would appreciate help <3#also- big news! thank you all for your help in funding my top surgery- i've finally gotten medicaid so i can finally talk to doctors who#can then give me referrals to surgeons!!!!!!!!!!#with any luck medicaid will help me cover some of it- which is my ideal as any money taken off the 8k sticker is money i Need for recovery#and time off work and food and bills and...#but i should be getting these things chopped in 2025! that's huge! i've been waiting about nine years for this...#i'll update in a post once i actually have a consultation lined up and especially once i have a surgery date#<3#this affects an uncountable number of things in my life for the better#queer nsft#t4t nsft#butch nsft#bd/sm community#dyke nsft#trans butch#t4t ns/fw#ftm nsft#butch bottom#trans ns/fw#trans nsft#tboy nsft#tboy ns/fw#transmasc#transmasc nsft#t4t dyke#fagdyke#dykefag#butch sub#bd/sm boy#bd/sm blog
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GILMORE GIRLS S01E21 ‘Love, Daisies, and Troubadours’
#gilmoregirlsedit#lorelaigilmoreedit#tvedit#lorelai gilmore#gilmore girls#mine#set*#I am ... intending to return to this blog#not sure my laptop can actually take giffing though#this is from an old pre-rendered file#anyway literally don't know how this site works now so.. let's go I guess
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i swear i´m gonna start biting dog trainers if they don´t stop comparing dogs with behavioural issues to autistic people
#i´m already a bit tired of the constant comparison to children because dogs are not children and i understand that with some people#you have to use that language to make them understand that positive reinforcement is a better way to train dogs than beating the shit out o#them but at a certain point you have to use appropriate language for the animals you actually work with#but that whole thing aside. people with autism are not dogs. you can´t just uncritically talk about clicker training autistic children in#your dog training books and blogs.#like unrelated to opinions on behavioural therapy for children you just CAN NOT compare people who have a mental disability to animals#either they stop or they will be bitten by me the autistic guy called Bark
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Use this one trick to instantly fix all childhood trauma (Jedi Masters don’t want you to know this)!!!!!
That is what every “if Obi-Wan had just— *adds one extra scene to canon* —then Anakin would’ve had perfect mental health and never listened to Palpatine at all,” sounds like to me. Look I am not an expert on any kind of psychology at all let alone early childhood development but,
It is possible to do your very best to help or raise someone and still have bad or imperfect outcomes, especially when you have someone actively, secretly working against you (cough cough Sith Lord of the month cough), (for many reasons, but in this case particularly), because unravelling the mindset built in early childhood is hard, actually.
Coming at this from the “raised in a safe and loving environment” side of things, it took me years to figure out and internalize that my friends whose parents weren’t as great as mine were functioning in an entirely different landscape when it came to their interactions with adults.
Many years ago when I was in middle school a friend (acquaintance? idk I think most people thought I was annoying) told me that her ankle kept giving out and causing her pain. I asked if she'd told her parents so she could rest or go to the doctor. She told me she had, but her mother either hadn't listened or refused to help. My (approximate) responses?
"So it's not actually that bad then?"
"You should tell her again."
"Are you sure you explained it right?"
The only explanation I could comprehend at the time was that there must have been some unclear communication about the situation or its severity--if her mother had understood she was in pain, she couldn't possibly have just not done anything about it? Adults are responsible, caring, etcetera! They wouldn't do that?!
With more experience, I've come to understand better, and learned to respond in kinder, more helpful ways, but the shift in mindset was not and is not intuitive.
And I had the luxury of figuring all that out whilst being safe myself. Coming from the other direction, being in danger and trying to figure out why other people act like the world is safe? I can't say for sure, but I imagine it’s a lot more complicated.
Point with regard to Star Wars being, it really is harder for Anakin, coming in later, to acclimate to the Jedi ways and thought processes than it is for his peers who grew up in the safe environment of the Temple. And whatever arguments people want to have about how much psychology and therapy exist in the Star Wars universe, or how much “Jedi just do cognitive behavioral therapy” (not totally inaccurate, but reductive on several levels), no matter what the answers to those questions, it will still be harder for Anakin.
There is a reason the council changes its mind on training him only after he is suddenly famous and the Sith are proven to be back. When Anakin was not in significant danger of being snatched up by someone else, it was genuinely probably the easier and safer option—for him and everyone else—for him to live a different life.
The Jedi are not necessarily fully prepared for a child with Anakin's history, and, there is nothing bad about living an ordinary life. Anakin would not have been somehow unforgivably robbed by living life as a mechanic or an engineer or something, rather than being a Jedi.
Anakin is a victim of many things in his life—Sidious, Watto, Gardulla, Tatooine’s everything, his own conscious choices—but he is not a victim of malice, incompetence, or idiocy by the Jedi just because they couldn't—in only a decade or so—help him fully and perfectly unravel the mindset he developed in his early childhood. If there was any lack of qualification on their part, it was one they were aware of—but which was outweighed by the danger of little Anakin getting kidnapped out of normal-kid elementary school.
Being brought up in and around slavery absolutely made him more vulnerable to Sidous and became the basis of their dynamic as master and apprentice. Acting like the trauma that affects his mindset and actions for his entire life can be obliterated just by making minimal changes to the plot is wild to me.
And don’t get me wrong, fics and headcanons can do whatever they want, not everyone wants or is trying to write a deep psychological character study (also fanfic and even fiction in general cannot and should not be held to any standard of realism if it's not serving the story and the author)—simple fix-it’s (my love) are fun and an excellent short-cut to other things like happiness and fluff (my other loves)—but don’t act serious about the idea that adding one conversation about his feelings or one extra explanation about Jedi philosophy would automatically lead to Anakin having perfect mental health outcomes and always making good decisions.
Disclaimer (if the ones throughout weren't enough) : please go forth and do whatever you want. the moral of this post is actually just that (1) you won’t convince me, (2) I wanted to talk about this, (3) the clickbait title was too funny not to post, (4) i literally can't open my mouth without phrasing things like i'm in the middle of a heated debate, and (5) i continue to not be an expert in early childhood development—my evidence is very literally anecdotal
#star wars#anakin skywalker#mental health#click bait#jedi#obi wan kenobi#will continue to be annoyed about this on be half of both Anakin *and* the Jedi since they are alas not real to do it themselves#(actually annoyed about the concept being applied in real life but shhh this is a star wars blog)#P.S. anyone want to hear the rant about how I think this all works for Anakin in conjunction with Amavikka in the Double Agent Vader story?#cuz i can go on and on and--#*gets abducted for plagerism by whoever actually writes clickbait titles*#krayt meta
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im so glad that we never get a clear picture of sophie’s background in leverage & i hope we never do. however i also really like making up various, often conflicting backstories for her in my head. perhaps they���re all backstories for an alias of hers, ones she laid to rest back in season two.
#leverageposting#leverage#sophie devereaux#particularly that one of or both her parents had to move around a lot for work & so she would change herself to fit in at every new school#or new town etc etc. and that whatever original identity she had was dropped due to some kind of really awful event and her bio family think#she’s dead. eg she got into some kind of extreme legal trouble for the first time & she faked her death & everyone she knew as a kid thinks#she’s dead too. like. astrid wasn’t the first person she left to miss/mourn her.#but also that she was a teen runaway at like age ~16 and pretended to be an adult (like. 18/19) cause theres not much you can do by yourself#as a minor like booking flights or renting an apartment. and so began her first proper alias. and she was a pickpocket until she could fund#her life fully through grifting & cons.#or alternatively her parents died when she was a teen & she was old enough to become an emancipated minor (everyone in lev is an orphan)#and she kind of just fell into crime from there bc she had no one#or perhaps she got married at 17 and realised how fucked it all was and stashed money until she could run away & leave it all behind. that’s#bc of a single vague sentence on john rogers’ blog saying she was married at 17 and in context it was quite possibly a joke or random#hypothetical example but i was like what if???? What If???????#i also like the hc that she’s trans which i’ve seen a few times#in some versions in my mind her parents were okay and in some versions they were awful and in some versions it was so complicated.#i think tara has heard one story and parker or hardison have heard another and nate has never heard any story. he’s never asked.#she is here now and that’s all that needs knowing. and sophie devereaux is her real name in any way it matters.#eliot has also never asked and she asked if he was curious once and he just asked if she was curious about What He Did and that was answer#enough for the both of them. just a mutual agreement not to ask and it actually solidified their bond.#i think she struggled for a long time about whether to tell her new family The Real Story but in much the same way we never hear her birth#name bc it’s not Her anymore… she never gives The Real Story. bc it no longer defines who she is. she’s so much more than whatever happened.#lvg
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me when there's bugs in the bayou:
#erm little doodle hehehe ^__^#i've was lazy so this is pretty on model to my reference but whateverrrr at least i finally got around to making a drawing of these guys#that i liked#oh also have a kian that i'm going to post later#umm i dont have an art tag for this blog yet#maggotart#<-that'll work for now#oh fuck actual tags right uhh#jrwi#jrwi bitb#blood in the bayou#jrwi blood in the bayou#just roll with it#timothy rand#rolan deep#jrwi fanart#got that's so many tags. swagever its fine there can just be a block of text here
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3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ
link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀
#doctor who#tenth doctor#martha jones#david tennant#freema agyeman#(good god. without even meaning to I went into 'psycho stream of consciousness tagging' mode. whoops)#always thinking of that one post#where OP mentions how the writing tries to make it seem like Ten looked right through Martha/etc#which is a good concept for demonstrating his grief. but also isnt what we really see throughout S3#(not saying he wasn't a grieving MESS because he was. but he's a multi-faceted character and he can grieve AND value Martha simultaneously)#but we see such fierce protective instinct+trust; a bond between them that obviously isn't some one-sided affair#+ his clear intent to impress her/be admired and respected by her (apropos the post that inspired this sentiment)#but RTD obviously isn't the most infallible of writers#*cough* [list of reasons I cut down b/c long] *cough*#He can make Martha say “he's not seeing me/he doesn't look at me” but then you just watch with your eyes and you get a different story#It's like the opposite of when Moffat tries to make you believe someone is super important through bold claims without showing his work#instead RTD tries to make you believe Ten is functionally blind to Martha's existence while showing numerous examples of the contrary#then bring in the novels+myspace blog+cartoon that he all signed off on. Which tie together to create a canon backdrop#basically I said all of that to say this—#it's the whole reason I had to make this blog to get this sort of stuff off my chest (even if it's just for me sometimes)—#Ten not only SAW Martha—he trusted+respected+enjoyed+adored her. And it's a good thing#it doesn't cheapen his grief. I feel like people must think it does which is why I constantly see bad unnecessary takes about them#it just means that Martha was SO important to him and it's ok. they had a killer friendship outside the unrequited minutiae and it's ok#there's even a comic where 'someone' makes him believe she's Martha and he makes her change her appearance because “it's still too raw”#Just saying you don't say that sort of thing about someone whose existence you're all blasé about#Martha already gets fucked by the narrative in enough ways without people totally missing her significance in the Doctor's life#you don't have to ship them to appreciate them on a deeper level#anyway. fuck. if you actually read all of these then I'm so sorry#creating this blog has taught me that there are only like two people who feel the same way about tenmartha matters and it’s fine 😂#but if I didn’t give myself an outlet it would probably form a tumor SO there we are then
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YOOOOO DAISUKE! congrats on the internship, tho how the heck did you end up in the freighter business??? didn't think that was ur thing... or that they did internships over there in the first place LOL. how's it been so far?
Maybe this is where I find my thing! Boss has me doing so much reading that my eyes are starting to huuurt. I've got to learn something!
Slight elaboration on the second panel in tags!!
#🌺.art#🌺.response#I have strong feelings about Daisuke's home life guys#what do you call a place full of privilege but lacking in love?#is that even home?#i headcanon that Pony Express was aware it was on the verge of going under and tried to preserve itself by seeking outside investments#Daisuke's wealthy parents were among those approached and they used their position to negotiate for Daisuke's internship#you can debate whether or not they actually intended on indulging the company#PE put Daisuke on the Tulpar because of Curly's prestige and Swansea's experience thinking they would be a good face for the company#//ooc#thank you sm for the ask! theres already a few I'm working on and I couldn't be more grateful <3 I rlly rlly appreciate the interest!#also there was a version of the first panel where i actually drew that kitchen. never again.#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#daisuke mouthwashing#mouthwashing fanart#ask blog
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wip posting just to get something out there, and it's def a mixed bag!! the only thing more inconsistent than my posting schedule is my art style RIP
#wip#yapping below#1. sinnohtrio group pic where nothing bad has happened yet... dedicated sinnoh post coming soon#2. personalizing dawn and lyra's togekisses with different coloring and markings based on region. there's lyra's omelette :]#3. timeskip red and leaf except it's just pikachu#4. top left is all the assets i made for my cs final project! a little cherrim themed browser game#then there's sprites for my champion dawn; cool concept methinks but it's definitely a work in progress. peep the giratina hairclips#some vaugely lugia/ho-oh inspired protag ideas for a hgss sequel#anddd a bunch of background doodles. goldenrod flower shop and a very saturated mt. silver#in timeskip there shall be a proper town at mt. silver's base to officially bridge kanto and johto (and make lyra's work commute easier)#5-7 is me spitballing ideas abt pokemon biology#dratini & dragonair are forever sea snakes to me!!! though i do enjoy the amphibian interpretations#also i didn't know dragonite island was already a thing from pokeani... rip wyverse dragon master lore#i think crobat looks goofy no matter how you stylize it. silver and his big bumbling bat that insists on grooming its trainer. so unserious#there's a togekiss page too but then i remembered egg groups are a thing so i'm revising parts of it#i spent so long trying to come up with a reasonable wing-to-body ratio for togekiss and crobat. literally useless when dragonite can#apparently fly around the globe in 16 hours. are you Kidding me. dragons weren't even merging with jet planes until gen 3.#OK that is all. sorry for the lack of uploads wah#i'm like a ferret hoarding all my doodles until the quantity > quality lever switches in my brain to give the 👍 to post#i did made a spam blog but who knows if i'll actually post on there lol! probably for non-pkmn related stuff
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i have no assigments and no tests to study for. wtf? im free? 100% free? i will wake up tomorrow and think "what do i have schedule to do today?" and there will be absolute nothing? insane
#this hasnt happened in ages#i could write#work on my hobbies#which is actually a task as i made it one but lets say its a hobbie so i can enjoy it#i could clean my room?#or maybe try to make flashcards for vocabulary? like an extra to be super confident on vocab#i could just be on my phone doing nothing too#studyblr#study motivation#study#study aesthetic#study blog#studyspo#study-core-101#student#study community#studyinspo#students#student life
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having a dom who denies me to train me into a good girl, helping me get better at not cumming and making sure i never cum when they use my pussy, at best they'll give me accidental ruins that i still get punished for a little. or maybe i get ruins as a reward for wearing panties and cute girly clothes! either way they'll make sure i don't get to have proper orgasms again, at least not until im feminine enough for them ❤️
#fakeboy#ftm girl#ftm misgendering#misgender me#misgendering blog#misgenderingkink#i feel like only an in-person thing could actually make long-term denial work for me unfortunately#but i can still dream about it ❤️
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wait, that elias?
#huge shoutout to @sepezzz elias design this is very much inspired by it. go look at it#im so serious if i never draw another person manspreading in a fucking office chair it’ll be TOO SOON#anyways.#the juxtaposition truly is crazy hahaaha right people change in the weirdest of ways#i like thinking about how they both present themselves. elias understands he works at Important Academic Research Facility so he still#sooort of tries to look somewhat official. but well he also gets away with what he can#he has that vibe of Yeah i work here and im kind of important but i’m chill. i know how to chill#meanwhile that other freak is just like i am going to make this body look presentable or so help me god.#he’s the Head of the Institute he can no longer have whimsy okay. and listen it’s not because i think jonah is that boring and would#dislike piercings and funny socks or whatever. i think he’d like those. but see he needs to make this believable that elias truly has#changed okay. and also like i said he is the Head of the Institute he needs to look Super Normal And Unremarkable#anyways i think it’s funny how elias’ whole thing is that he tries to distance himself from his family image and tries really hard to Not#end up like a rich asshole. and then. well.#(looks around) So i think about this man a normal amount.#i could write like 20 thinkpieces on both of them but instead they’re gonna make me do college essays about like language and shit.#myart#the magnus archives#tma#elias bouchard#oh my god it is actually un fucking believable how much i think about him every day#if this becomes a daily elias blog yall will just have to deal
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fairest of the fair
#hi! im alive and back and etc.#six the musical#six the musical fanart#katherine howard#thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art#this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self#aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying#redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me#back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit#also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill#multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me#notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts#of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions..#1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was#pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes#3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume#and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to#explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is#darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall#outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet#within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions?#7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah#8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck#anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)
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I AM AT MY LIMIT
Snoopy #90
30/12/2024
description under the cut
[description: a cartoon-style drawing of Snoopy's head. Snoopy is a white dog with black ears. His eyes are shut and his mouth is a horizontal line. There are two large blue teardrops, one under each eye. The text "I am at my limit" is handwritten across the top of the image.]
#peanuts#snoopy#art#90#based on that emoji face meme but i can't find the original ANYWHERE#at least not the entire image unedited. other than on like redbubble listings but i don't want to link those haha#if someone has a link to it please send it to me!! so i can link it in the post. thanks :)#also i have decided to start doing descriptions for each image (which i have been meaning to do for a while)#now that people actually follow this blog and interact with it and stuff#tbh i should've started doing them a long time ago#but the idea of retroactively going back to every post and adding a description kept putting me off... which is silly because it's only#gonna become more work the longer i leave it. so you know. just gotta start doing it#i will endeavour to add a description to all the previous snoopys of the day soon 🤞#anyway i made this because i sent a friend the original emoji image (taken from a redbubble screenshot LOL)#because we have been trying to book a place to stay for a group trip (6 people)#and like i did all the research and made a list to start us off (while letting people know they could add to the list) and sent that around#and made a poll for people to vote for their preferred place#and some people in the group have been taking FOREVER to respond with their opinions about accommodation#like to the point where all the other good places on the list have been booked up now and there is just one left#which luckily is the one with the most votes#and today i was like (about to book that one) ok well before i book i'm just checking that everyone is ok with these dates?#and some of them were like ohhh actually no. we haven't booked our flights yet so we're not sure which days exactly we'll be there#WHAT DO YOU MEAN!#in fairness i should've checked that we were all on the same page about dates beforehand#but like. the trip is literally in like 5 weeks AND during a public holiday like omfggggggg everywhere is gonna be booked out#do you know how hard it is to find accommodation for 6 people#and i don't even know the people who haven't been responding/haven't booked their flights/whatever#they're friends of a friend (who will also be coming on the trip) and i know nothing about them#i think i would be a lot less annoyed if it was just my friends because we would've just hopped on a call and sorted everything out in like#one night. otherwise we know + trust each other enough to make decisions for each other if we can't/don't want to be involved in planning
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my ass is not getting into heaven with these pink haired pete wentz pictures on my computer dawg 🤣
#sorry if ive been psycho posting for the last few hours#<- actually i have noooo idea what ive been posting maybe i made 3 whole posts but it feels like a lot#was supposed to be working on my resume but ive just been on flickr the whole day#now im on smugmug which.. didnt know people actually use that site#feels like a photospam website. the quantity of pictures from 1 show is more than i see ever#which i guess flickr is like a portfolio thing and smugmug is for posting on your silly blog spot yadda yadda who cares#do you sometimes feel like you can/have to talk constantly and you notice that youre being annoying but you cant stop it from happening#like yesterday i noticed i was just starting a convo every 3 seconds and annoying everyone else. im like that dumb fairy from loz#hey look at this hey did you know hey do you ever think about hey hey hey. like shut the fuck up bitch damn
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