#like its very far in development. maybe they didnt give up this time

[girlwiththegreenhat]

team fortress 2 finally getting rid of the bots after 5 years

work on the team fortress 2 comic continuing after 7+ years

half life 3 development looking more likely than ever with legitimate code, file, and voicework leaks referencing a new non-VR single-player game from valve featuring a HEV suit wearing protagonist and Xen creatures and concepts

shoutout to the valve fan that found the genie lamp. you a real one

[esosage]

God i need more movie robotnik angst! Like my man is prime angst material and theres just not enough for him!

Need him to be sobbing, and crying, and haveing a mental breakdown.

Especially when it involves stone, since it forces him to let his walls down, and bear his soul to the other man wether he likes it or not. Which could really offer some interesting developments in their relationship.

I can see movie eggman being very antsy after he has a mental break down infront of stone, since he's primarily waiting for the other to either take advantage of him or leave him. Since thats probobly what he's experienced in relationships up till now (with the whole trust issues thing.)

Infact, i'd say he gets so antsy that he becomes a self fulfilling profocy. Being so pent up, and not beliveing stone has anything but maliciouse intent twards him now, he lashes out at the other. Saying some real horrible shit in an attempt to push him away before stone can hurt him.

He ends up secretly regretting it after the fact. He tries to convince himself that its better this way, or that he doesn't care, or that he likes hurting the other, in attempt to cover up that guilt, but he knows deep down that its just not true. Even so, that doesnt stop him from returning back to old habbits to cope with being in a very unframiliar situation: aka him being a dick. Maybe not directly to stone this time, but by avoiding him. He isn't really angry at stone, more so angry at himself, but he doesnt have the emotional intelligence to recognize that. So he tries to put up walls. In his mind hes gotten far to attached to stone and needs to cut the other man out before he has a one up over him, or uses robotniks emotions against him. But robotnik just cant do it. He cant force himself to get rid of stone, he cant force himself to just fire the man, because stone is the only person who takes care of robotnik.

Now, robotnik doesnt think that stone genuinlly cares for him, he doesnt think anyone is capable of that, but stone does give him attention. Attention, that he despretly seeks and searches for. Infact, stone has probobly cared for robotnik, more than anyone else before. Which isnt a high bar, since robotnik isn't exactly a likeable person, but its still a very big thing for a robotnnik. Because in his whole life, stone is one of the very few people who has cared about him somewhat, and managed to stick around him for this long without gwtting tired of his bulshit. And as someone who has been longing and desperate for attention their entire life, who craves it, robotnik just cant give stone up. Regardless of if stone huets him or not, because he doesn't think he'll find anyone else who will care for him as much as stone does.

Of course, he never acknowledges this, because to him, saying that he needs the agent on such a deep level is admitting to being weak. Since he's supposed to be untouchable (and perfect.) And he much less has enough emotional intelligence to understand this, so he puts up walls instead, in the hopes that stone will do it for him. That stone, just like everyone else, will get sick of his bullshit and leave. (He doesnt really want this in reality. But because he's in such an unframilar situation, hes resorting back to old habbits and lashing out to feel more incontrol. Because theres nothing robotnik hates more, than not being in control, because in his mind, if hes not incontrol then he's going to get hurt.)

Thankfully for robotnik though, stone is crazy and refuses to leave. He might have before robotnik had the mental breakdown, since he didnt belive the doctor genuinlly cared about him before then, but after the mental breakdown, he knows that the doctor cares about him more than he's letting on. So he refuses to leave, because he knows somethings up with the doctor, and he's not going until its fixed. Careing more about robotniks wellbeing than his own, (regardless of how unhealthy it is.)

This confuses to robotnik till no end, and sets his mind down another spiral. Because normally, your mean to people and they leave, but stone isn't doing that...... why? Thats the part that catches robotnik up the most: the why. In robotniks mind, he's an asshole, he knows he is, he plays into it sometimes, and thusly he thinks nobody can care about him. That because he's a horrible person, and because, in his mind, he'll never be anything but one, its simply impossible for anyone to care, much less love him. So he doesnt think stone is capable of loveing him. Which begs the question of why stone is staying.

If stone doesn't love him, and has every reason to leave him right now outside of the pay, why stay? Does he want revenge? Does he have a card up his sleeve? Is he trying to take robotnik down? Is that why he's been more nosey lately?

All of those are questions floating in robotniks head. His trust issues takeing his anxiety twards the issue and going wild. Which naturally sends robotnik down a paranoid spyral.

All of this, culminates in another argument. Stone demanding to know whats wrong, and robotnik eventually slipping up in the moment, and admiting that he thinks stone hates him, and is trying to sabatouge him.

The agent vehemently goes against this motion, claiming he would never tries that, and that he doesn't hate robotnik. Of course, due to his trust issues, robotnik doesnt buy it. Combating this with the "facts" he has gathered thus far. Asking why stone would stay with him otherwise if it wasn't to gain something.

Another thing the agent opposes, stuttering over his words to avoid saying the obviouse, but just enough to hopefully convince robotnik when he says he cares. Though robotnik keeps pushing back, still not buyinh it.

And exaughsted, stone just screams out rhe truth in the hopes that it will get through the others thick skull. Admiting that he loves robotnik, and thats why he stays, because he cares about him dammit!

This leaves robotnik floored, he doesn't belive it at first, can't fathom the thought of someone actually being in love with someone like him outside of what he can give them (relationships arw transactional in his mind,) but hes putting up a lot less ressistancdñe than before. And while he doesnt want ot admit it, logically speaking, it would explain t a lot of things.

Eventually robotnik does something slightly emotionally intelligent for once in his damn life, and asks for a moment, (he doesnt say its to prosess his emotions, but its deffinetly implied,) and he asks stone to leave.

This obviously leaves the other anxiouse, wondering if he did something wrong in admiting his feelings, but he complies. Thr two on their own to process everything..

They end up haveing a conversation about it later once they've calmed down, (something stone had to initiate,) and it ends up being productive! The two of them planning a path forward for the both of them (with no romance by robotniks request) and they begin to work on things.. very slowly yes, and with a lot of cognitive disonence on robotniks part (he still cant admit that he cares, much less loces stone yet, even if he does,) but its progress and stone is satisfied with it.

Anyhow, sorry i went on a ramble, my thoughts decided to just go this way lol. Regardless, my point still stands, robotnik is a very deep and interesting character, and deserves to ve explored more. And also deserves a hell of a lot more angst.

Thank you for listening to my bullshit.

[seerofmike]

Mike's Media Medley; September and October 2024

so it turns out having 3 jobs and being a part time student means i dont wanna do anything ever so this will be kind of a lightning round in which i just state some brief thoughts and give a score on all the things i experienced for the very first time in september and october 2024.

Movies (2024 releases): Blink Twice, My Old Ass, Transformers One, Saturday Night, The Wild Robot

Movies (non-2024 releases): Rear Window (1954), In The Heat of the Night (1967), Tár (2022)

Video games: Touhou Mystia's Izakaya (2021), Cult of the Lamb (2022), Sonic x Shadow Generations, Balatro, and Mouthwashing (2024)

Blink Twice

this is zoe kravitz's directorial debut and im gonna be honest this kind of slayed. i saw some people complain about how long the build up goes but i think the build up makes the twist work even better. speaking of the twist PLEASE take the warning at the beginning of the movie very seriously.

really enjoyed it and might watch it a second time to see if i can pick up new details but i think seeing it two times will exhaust its appeal to me, i think that's like the max i can enjoy it. really good movie but it hinges on the twist.

btw the title card popping up EXTREMELY briefly during a camera flash? 10/10 no notes

77.5/100

In The Heat of the Night (1967)

i think this movie is like, Fine. definitely a solid movie with good performances. i think the cultural context it was made in elevates it and i understand how BOLD this movie would've been back in the 60s (especially when sidney poitier slaps a white man) but as far as like. police procedurals/mystery solving etc goes its not my favorite but that's not necessarily the point.

decent watch, made better with the cultural context of its time

65/100

My Old Ass

this movie was ALRIGHT and i barely remember anything about it. i didn't hate it i don't think. i didn't love it. i think only one moment made me truly laugh and i can't even remember what that moment was.

40/100 on the basis of me liking it i.e it didnt piss me off like some other movies ive watched but maybe the score should be lower because i dont remember a thing about it idk

Rear Window (1954)

i meant to watch this in theaters for its 70th anniversary but i had to work both days it was showing so i rented it from my local library. this is my first hitchcock film and i thought it was REALLY good, definitely way better than i was expecting based on plot synopsis alone but that just shows i was a fool sorry for doubting alfred hitchcock

that being said watching old movies rly makes you notice how many young women get paired up with men twice their age and its narsty and i wanted the mc to die for most of the movie. im only half kidding. didn't care so much for the personal drama side between crusty ass man and his girl tbh

incredibly good suspense. might watch it again but idk if i would like it as much on repeat viewings

80/100

Saturday Night

i couldnt understand a word anyone was saying in this movie because of weird sound mixing and how intrusive the music was especially at the beginning which feels rly uh bad considering how talky this movie is.

wish i could give it a higher score but alas i didnt hear 75% of the plot or jokes which SUCKS because I AM RACHEL SENNOTTS BIGGEST SHOOTERRRRRR

40/100

Tár (2022)

i was kinda bored by this. i got the point i just got bored. i dont rly remember much except thinking it was incredibly funny she got punished by the narrative into orchestrating video game concerts

technically very well made and cate is obviously putting her pussy into this it was just not for me.

45/100

Transformers One

now this is what im fucking talking about

i didnt think i remembered much about transformers but i watched this w my mom and the whole time we were going omg starscream omg soundwave omg i am optimus prime yassssss

choreography is fucking epic. jokes landed for me 75% of the time. but the obvious highlights are the character development and backstories for optimus and megatron. this movie was epic and you should watch it for free on your favorite pirate website because fuck paramount lives and SHOUT OUT TO BRIAN TYREE HENRY OF LEMON FAME WHO HASNT MISSED YET IM GONNA WATCH ATLANTA ONE DAY KING I PROMISE

85/100

The Wild Robot

gorgeous movie. lupita fucking killed it. cried at the end. dont think i would rewatch it much but i greatly enjoyed it. no notes go watch it

85/100

viddy games

Balatro (2024)

girl help

Cult of the Lamb (2022)

ADORABLE art style, lots of mechanics but not necessarily very in depth. the perks just feel kinda eh but i love the aesthetic and the music. also usually not big on things with religious themes but i let this one slide cuz its a cult doing. bad cult things LOL. also i love my little guys

Mouthwashing (2024)

theres literally so much i want to say about mouthwashing but what can i say that hasnt been said already...ill save it for my end of the year review because it is DEFINITELY making my top 7 unless these final 6ish weeks of the year are full of fucking bangers

Sonic x Shadow Generations (2024)

ok so i never played the og sonic generations much, i rented it on redbox once and my brother rented batman arkham city at the same time and we had one xbox so i barely played that thing before we had to return it becuz his stupid ass hogged it all weekend and im not bitter about this still at ALLLLLLLL but god i fucking love shadow the hedgehog so much hes truly the little guy ever

Touhou Mystia's Izayaka (2022)

so i haven't sunk a WHOLE lot of hours into this game because i keep getting distracted by other things but i think its VERY cute and chill and pretty fun and i might be tempted into the touhou project dark side maybe

[the-64th-gamer]

I FINISHED MLP YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

(Started December 3, 2022 - Ended January 1, 2024 - 413 Days)

Am absolutely mindblown to see such an amazing series go through 9 seasons and literally continuously keep getting better and better!!!!!!!

Its been very cool binging it so quickly compared to most old fandom members watching it through syndication. Similar to when I rewatched SU there's such a difference seeing ideas and characters evolve at normal pace than to sit there for years brewing in fandom content that makes you expect them to go a different path. Lots of what I've heard be controversial things like Slice of Life and Starlight in general were some of my favorite parts of the show!!

Fav episode is The Perfect Pear, I was spoiled William Shatner was gonna play someone in the series and was SO FUCKIGN EXCITED when I realized it was him and in such an amazing episode!!!!! The ending was so fucking sweet omg.

Second fav was Slice of Life cause I get it was fanservice but on its own it was a great change of pace in the season to focus on background and side characters!!! After that it feels like they focused on background characters way more and it was very rewarding.

Seeing ***every single shot of Derpy*** was the funnest part of the show, I have personal screenshots of every single time I spotted her and stopping in the middle of songs or big fights just to scream and snapshot them was such a fun scavenger hunt. It made me go NUTS to see them do actual stuff on screen (ESPECIALLY THE SCENE IN BEST GIFT EVER WHEN SHE FINALLY GOT TO SPEAK IN FOREVER). It was also hilarious to see all the error derpies with fucked up colors and hair!!!!! It stopped in the later seasons except a time where she had a purple eye in a single shot, and one where she had big mac's face???? I was having a blast.

Similarly I was also just watching every single background character all the time every time, got to figure out which ponies would be used for which locations, when they'd appear in other places, which special ones could show up anywhere, which ones would do funny stuff, seeing new super cute background characters come in like Sweet Biscuit and Rainbow Stars!!! As someone hyperfocused on stupid stuff this was so fun watching the background nonstop.

Favorite season was season 6 or 7. Starlight was a great link for the episodes and it was the most normal seasons while the writing had gotten really good. Season 8 and 9 are still super good and I love that they were so willing to be bold and change things up a ton to keep interest, but 6 and 7 are closer to the usual baseline episode stuff so they're the best to go back to if I wanna rewatch.

I think the early seasons were still looking for a longterm identity for the show but I think starting season 5 it became this really great constant escalation of things. I really expected the show to just linger around the same ol' topics but it it kept changing the characters lives, the plot, and circumstances a ton while developing old characters and introducing new ones! Out of everything I've watched so far it was like the most masterful way to run a longterm series I've seen. Never felt burnt out or that anything was dragging, but also never felt like it ever lost its core identity!

Season 9 also was just a masterclass on ending a series, every single episode focused on bringing back some side character to give them an interesting spin, or conclude some arcs left behind. There were maybe one or two normal episodes but even those didnt feel like filler! I think the show was at its best throwing new ideas out and then taking a break with a standard friendship problem episode in a normal location. After watching it I don't think there was any missing thread or interesting thing they didn't try out! (Though also the series is formatted well enough they definitely could have continued making tons of standard episodes)

I can't remember if it was season 2 or 3 but I think when they first started introducing like regular songs to non adventure/important episodes it was really off, didn't really mesh well having the show be so musical, but they definitely incorporated it better as they went along and its kinda crazy it worked out well.

BTW I've steered clear from almost all opinions on the show outside of what Ray tells me so I dont know what of my opinions are universal to the fandom, but holy shit the season 8-9 intro sucks so much ass, all of the timing is COMPLETELY lost, theres that stupid school zoom out shot thats just maud hitting a rock in the middle of the road as it slowwwwwly pans, the backgrounds are way too visually noisy in the classrooms and the castle and its just an absolutely horrible nightmare that was thrown together in a day.

But yeah great show favorite show best show!!!!! I now get to see a decade of fan content and reviews and discussions n such!!! I watched some that were time appropriate for the current season I was watching to avoid spoilers but nows time for the floodgates!!!!! I'm glad I'll be able to hold onto my opinions now though and seperate them from anything I'm gonna further see discussed by all the old fans. I'm sure there will be tons of complaints I never considered but as I see it now that was a perfect run of television that I love very dearly!!!! Its certainly changed my life going forward lol.

[kitsuga]

In the mirror. {June - The Ssum}

Description: 

A fic in which June struggles to paint a self-portrait. 

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Tags: angst, suicidal ideation, panic attack, of sorts; i didnt want to paint too heavy of a picture of one, not betad, not edited, the ssum, the ssum june, june the ssum  

Word Count: 2,197

A/N: Written on: June 8, 2024 

I love june i promise you i swear i can be trusted with june please if you just give me one chance just put him in my pocket just one chance i can be trusted i can be-- 

(i love june but i just couldnt not go angsty first i mean its *right* there) (i also wrote this before his last season i havent played yet shhhhh)

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── 

Monet’s brush brings landscapes to life, lighting capturing the purest of emotions. Colour, composition, breathtaking stories—all of which June had spent most of his life admiring, studying, mimicking. 

June had taken it all-- his knowledge, his studies—made it his own. To be like Monet, he thought, would be one of the best feelings in the world. The release of emotions, the longing for connection, the deep-rooted need to be perceived just to make his life mean something—they all flowed through him, through his brush, through the paint on the canvas. However, June knew he’d never be Monet, nor would his life hold any real meaning to the world around him. 

That wouldn’t stop the brushstrokes.  

A self-portrait, he thought, something new. Monet made a few of his own—he didn’t like them, though. Monet thought them to be limitations, pieces that refused to work with the level of talent he knew he could produce. What could he do, though? There was no time left in his life to do them any justice, to truly show how his talent could grow; time that June also didn’t have. 

He knew his life wouldn’t be very long, with this sick body of his. All he could do is tough it out, do as he was told, and hope for the best—he didn’t even know if he wanted to fight anymore. So today, he will simply paint.  

A self-portrait, he thought, something to leave behind. A mirror sat at the table beside the easel, a layer of paint freshly dried on the canvas, filling the room with a nostalgic smell. To paint his face, he thought, shouldn’t be too hard. He thought he were good looking, it shouldn’t be too difficult of a task—a nice learning curve, he thought. Expand his repertoire, get a change of pace to further develop the skills needed for pieces he liked doing. He’d have to leave something behind, after all. Might as well make it beautiful; might as well give it all he’s got. 

The mirror sat there, waiting for his eyes to fall within it. His gaze travelled over mundane parts of his appearance; the drab hospital wear, loose around his neck. The sharpness of his jaw, the sickly flush of his skin. He swept his gaze over his lips, nose, the lack of luster in his hair and no life in his eyes. He stared at himself, tried to look for the missing sparkle in his eye—staring too long as the rest of his appearance in the corners of his vision were starting to twist and distort. Snapping his eyes shut, shaking his head, he rid himself of the sensation and turned his attention back to the canvas his wrist rested upon.  

He could do it; it was fine—don't overthink it, don’t get hung up on it. The brush dipped into the paint, mixing colours among the palate. Start slow, start easy. The loose collar of his shirt started to take form on the canvas—drab, monotone, familiar. A break, a breath. Carefully, the shape of his neck, head, face started to appear—no details, no features. Then, the individual strands of his hair, all messy and unkempt, no matter how hard he had tried to smooth them out in the mirror. Blonde, bright—not like the sun, encompassing others and providing light and happiness, but gentle, muted—like a distant star, far away and long gone by the time it reaches your eyes. Perhaps that meant his whole life should be considered a star—maybe his paintings would take to the sky and paint their own constellation of his life for someone else to see, since he had nothing else to offer.  

A person with no face, the canvas housed. The details were going to be the hardest part, he thought. Might as well take his time, study hard, give it his best shot. His eyes drifted over to the mirror once again, following the lines of his features while the sound of the scratching of a pencil followed along. A curve here, his beauty mark there, he was a little afraid to look at the penciled results and closed his eyes before turning back to his work. Sitting back, peeking just slightly, he took a look at the level of his skills. Not bad, June thought to himself, it could just be... better. It was fine, he thought, not that it would matter; he wasn’t going to make waves in the world that required a good representation.  

Another break, another breath. His health was starting to slow him down; he’d fight it until he couldn’t. He’d rather finish this portrait, toss it to the back, and try not to think of it again. Slowly, carefully, the brush danced across the surface, his face taking shape. The curve of his nose, the lines of his lips, the dark circles beneath his eyes. Hours had passed, the sun had set, but the eyes made of paint were as lifeless as the ones that looked back at them. June sat back with a sigh, wiped the stray paint from his face, and took a long look at the acrylic mirror in front of him.  

What had happened? His hair seemed far too grey compared to his blonde, his eyes seemed to curve differently; his features seemed too sharp, too sunken, aged. His beauty mark had still been there—maybe he was getting tired and simply made mistakes. June took another look, staring so hard that the paint version of him started to morph further, seemingly looking more and more like his father rather than a portrait of his own likeness.  

Is that who he was? His father? Longing for the freedom of the wind and the sea, wanting a simple life with simple means. A life with a more holistic approach to his illness, a life with less dollar signs attached to material means. Was he his father? Maybe he was meant to be; the need to hate and distance himself from wealth or those who have it, the need to be so organic he couldn’t tell himself from the soil he would be buried in. It was a scary sight, to see his father in place of his own presence; who truly was June? Was this him? 

His heart started to race, a slow panic starting to bubble up. He rubbed his eyes, trying desperately to wipe away whatever fatigue must have been doing to him. The image of his father kept staring back at him, no matter how many times June had tried to rub his eyes, blink it away. He brought his brush back to the canvas, slightly shaking; he started again, painting quickly, a little rougher, over previous lines to attempt his own image again. He worked quickly, his heart starting a slow crescendo into his ears as the world around him began to muffle. The corners of his eyes started to grow a bit blurry, tunnel vision focusing on the acrylic sitting in front of him that fueled an impeding pit in his stomach. A little paint here, a shadow there; a new colour here, a messy line there. June tried to fix his image in record time, not worrying about the sloppiness or potential of drop in his skill. His body temperature started to rise, a bead of sweat dripping down his face; he wiped it away and sat back with a sigh of relief, hoping his work would be correct this time. He turned to look out of the window, a break full of unease. The moon was now shining down on him, reminding him just how small he was in the dark. He turned back to the painting. 

What had happened? His heart truly started to race now, the rapid thumping echoing heavy in his chest and all throughout his veins. His body shook as his eyes darted around the person staring back at him. Dark, longer hair, feminine features, eyes holding no lust for life—a broken image of stage lights and nightlife. June’s panic started to rise, the image in front of him morphing further into his mother, no hint of his own likeness left. 

Is that who he was? His mother? Simply falling into line with what is told to him, what is expected of him. A life full of longing for luxury and status; a demand for respect. A life with a price for everything, without bothering to look at the bill. Was he his mother? Maybe he was meant to be; the need to indebt himself to others, to fight tooth and nail in a harsh world to look good but never be truly happy; the need to be known, recognized, safe in a small box like a puppet on strings. It was a scary sight, to see his mother in place of his own presence; who truly was June? Was this him? 

The air felt far too heavy, a weight on his chest. June started to feel like he couldn’t breathe, taking in and letting out heavy breaths, all rapid to match the speed of his heartbeat. It was a downward spiral, the world had felt like. His body had gotten far too hot—or maybe it was cold? He broke out in a cold sweat, shaking profusely, leading to him dropping his paintbrush onto the floor. What was going on? Why couldn’t he get his portrait to look like him—why was it looking like one parent or the other? The painted mother had seemed to move, turning to look June in the eye and call out to him. 

“June?” He could hear her voice echo in his head, as the painted lips did not move. “Who truly is June?” 

His limbs felt heavy, stiff, tied up in string in a neat little bow. He would dance, nod, open the jaw strings to answer with an unfought agreeance. Who truly was June? Was June anyone? Was June anything? Was June truly real? 

What would June leave behind in this world? Nothing, nothing at all—for he was not June. He was a puppet, a doll, an empty shell for his parents to place pieces of themselves in and silence any portion they didn’t agree with. Any original thoughts, wants, needs, desires—nothing of June’s would be respected or acknowledged. He took up quickly, knocking the stool he sat upon over with a loud bang. He threw his hands into his hair, tugging at it slightly while he tried to hold the pain in his head—to keep the thoughts from spilling out. He could hear his mother, his father, swirling around him and reminding him that he was not his; his life would never be his own, for he was sick, weak, needed to be taken care of and indebted to the world. He was nothing extraordinary or special, let alone something unique—let alone someone free.  

The room started to spin, June’s body in a full-blown reaction. He started crying out, strangled noises, anything that might stop the pain of realization—anything that might stop the pain of subjugation. The painting in front of him mocked him, teased him, berated him—shut it up, shut it up!  

June dipped his fingers into black paint and swiped. He swiped, scratched, carved, lines across the faces in the canvas; covered eyes could no longer scrutinize, covered mouths could no longer command. His chest hurt, his body hurt, his soul hurt. Why? Why had a simple portrait turned out this way? Why had a peaceful night turned out like this? Why did he ever think he could leave a mark behind in this sea of stars? 

Who truly was June? He knocked the easel over, splattered paint creating the portrait’s crime scene. He had never been particularly emotional, certainly never to the point of a spontaneous melt-down; why did it hurt? Why did it hurt so bad to see his parents in place of himself? Why did he only see them in the first place? He held his face in his hands and broke out into a sob, standing in place as the room spun around him. He sobbed, cried, trying to expel the pain from his heart and his head and return to a point where he didn’t reflect on his life, he simply lived as he was told—as he was expected. It was a mistake to try, to even think about following Monet’s footsteps—even worse to create a portrait after Monet himself would shy away from his own. 

Something beside him called out softly, vile. Slowly, cautiously, he let his tears hit the floor as he removed his hands, looking towards the voice that called out to him. 

In the mirror held June—was it June? With black paint smeared across his eyes and teardrops staining his face further, making him unrecognizable. The person in the mirror gave him a wicked smile, putting a finger to their lips and hushing him—telling him to be a good boy and listen, though June himself had not moved. 

Who truly was June? 

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: ML Season 5 episode 14 Derision

Spoilers Below

-WHY ARE THEY SO CUTE!?

-Umm Marinette? You okay?

-Have some cereal with your milk.

-Yea something is up with Marinette.

-Marinette's bike is cool.

-Okay adrinette hand holding is cute. But something seems wrong here

-Okay so she reacted seeing an image of Kim... okay weird.

-Okay ... Marinette is having a panic attack. That feels a bit too real

-Bugs! Locker full of bugs. But what does it have to do with...

-Marinette freaked out hard. and Kim says thats her normal reaction to pranks... Kim? What the fuck?! What did you do?

-Of COURSE the akuma shows up now

-"Panic" Oh damn thats a good name for an akuma. But I know Marinette would never get akumatized (especially at this point) But I really want some art interpretations of that form

-So Marinette is having a flashback while Monarch be trying to work on akumatization... How does that work?

-Okay so Marinette had a crush on Kim in 8th grade... Wow someone somewhere owes Lunian some money.

-Marinette with her hair down! Not a drill. Flashbacks matter

-Marinette of 8th grade doesnt want to go to school... Oh wow it feels like origins. Does Sabine KNOW how bad it is? Why not just let her change schools?

-Chloé bullied Marinette, but that was already known...

-JEEZ! Bugs in the locker. Seriously!? Where did chloe make sabrina get those

-And Damacles is a f***ing asshole

-Oh Jeez, Mendeleiev still a harsh b****

-Oh come on! Someone give Marinette a break

-Wait... Kim just thought these were NORMAL Reactions to pranks. He thought these were Okay?!

-Okay wow, yea Mendeleiev and Damocles are garbage. Sure hope no one thought they were better teachers than Ms.Bustier. That would sure suck.

-Chloé is really no different then how she has been all season or season 1

-Juleka looks ready to throw hands. So I really cant hate any of the other students in the class, they seem scared of Chloé, and honestly seeing what I saw. I dont blame them.

-Mylene out right said "Chloé's mom leaving is no excuse. My mom left and I aint a bitch." Go off Queen

-At least Juleka, Rose and Mylene talked to Marinette and were kind

-Kim actually offered his swim trunks to her. Well that is kind of sweet in a himbo way.

-Chloé really just decided to hate on Marinette.

-Damn Socqueline! You defend Marinette. Maybe thats why Marinette wears her hair like that.

-So Socqueline is a year older confirmed. And it does explain the deeper lore about her knowing her mom.

-Tonto. Hehehehehehe

-For a change? So the implication is that Marinette has crushes before. Makes sense. Marinette at this point seems like the type to develop crushes on anyone nice to her.

-Kim doesnt really get when Pranks are pranks and Pranks are... well TOO far. OMG he is the "Its just a prank Bro" type

-Sabrina was watching.... oh this can only end poorly

-Oh... oh no. No no no no no no no.

-Kim you are really an idiot. And not in the endearing himbo way.

-Marinette didnt have a plan back then... Oh! This is gonna result in a trauma where she needs to... Oh wow this is gonna be traumatic af.

-Socqueline is like a big sister to her. Poor thing already can see this going poorly

-This looks like an adorable time. The marikim looks adorable, yet all I can think about is how Chloe will ruin it.

-Oh no, Kim. Please dont do this.

-IT HAD BUGS IN IT! KIM! KIM!!! IN WHAT WORLD DID YOU THINK THIS WAS AN OKAY PRANK?! THAT WAS 8 TYPES OF FUCKED UP. I DONT CARE HOW CONVINCING CHLOÉ IS. YOU ABSOLUTE GARBAGE MEATHEAD!!

-Welp... Chloé has done some f***ed up things. But Wow. This really is her at her worst. Like damn. That is just... And here I thought Lila was bad.

-So Astruc, you really needed to drive the point home on why you hate chloé. You REALLY drove it home. But really

-Socqueline Out here for the save! At the very least saving Marinette from ABSOLUTE eternal shame. Put some respect on this character that only appeared this season.

-Kim REALLY doesnt get how f***ed that was. Its a sad day when a Himbo is more dumb than kind. That just make him an idiot.

-Marinette needs a hug.

-So this explains everything about Why Marinette knows absolutely everything about adrien early on. Well except for the fact he is chat noir. But yea. It was actually TRAUMA!

-"And that he is not friends with Chloé." Yea Adrien, buddy. You might want to completely burn that bridge now. Side note, this completely contextualizes Origins and why Marinette assumed the worst about Adrien off the bat. Damn. This was deep. A little exposition heavy... but deep

-And Chloé gets Socqueline because she broke her phone. Well Damocles. You are officially s*** in my eyes. Even Darker owl seems less slay to me. YOU RUINED DARKOWL FOR ME YOU BASTARD

-She got suspended for two weeks. That sucks

-Wow, so was that flashback instant? Or was Monarch just patiently watching that flashback ENGROSSED by it?

-She broke free by working through the source of her trauma in a matter of seconds... Okay.

-Oh damn! Ondine and Adrien look ready to throw hands at Kim. And Justifiably so.

-Kim... You done goofed. You really are an idiot and My opinion of you is trash.

-Adrien going full arthur anger meme. PUNCH HIM ADRIEN. PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE

-Dude doesnt even swim with his goggles.

-Monarch really said "If I gotta settle, I can at least spin it to make it sound better than it is."

-Dark Humor, Hehe instead of Dark cupid. Clever. Cause his sense of humor is dark. Also CHAT NOIR HAS A REASON TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE.

-Its twisted that he gets his old power

-Also... was he wearing that in the pool? That thing is waterproof? Neat.

-I like the updated costume. But I hate kim right now

-Adrien is ready to throw hands.

-Chat noir wants to beat Kim's ass today. SLAY KITTY SLAY

-YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Chat noir giving Dark Humor the Two Piece No Biscuit.

-He gonna cataclysm him! oh sh*t. Chat noir really felt regret about accidentally cataclysming Monarch, but now ready to erase kim. Yea I completely understand. Valid.

-Ladybug understably needed to stop him... But that caused him to get hit with the goofy arrow. Damn

-Ladybug had to detransform and retransform quick. Tikki really sped ate her cookie today.

-She got jokes

-And Ladybug's plan faked him out and now he got a toilet on his head

-Ladybug may also be using this as a chance to work stuff out.

-The ladynoir is cute. But Chat noir was still 100% justified in his beating of dark humor... Except the cataclysm. But I get why he was ready to use it.

-Well at least Kim is owning up to his s***. He is still an idiot. But He is a himbo. But yea, still a dick move early on Kim. Path to redemption Kim. (still forgave him too quickly.) But Ondine will beat his ass if he doesnt stick to it.

-This Adrinette is adorable and sweet and understanding.

-Trauma is still there. Guess she isnt completely over it, which is understandable. It will take some time (or like 3 episodes)

-Adrien went to chloé. Oh damn. You go boy

-Yea, this chloé is season 4-5 chloé alright. Nothing surprising here. She is just vile

-Sabrina looked annoyed at that speech. (Sabrina will remember that)

-Adrien is officially done. He ended it there officially. Friendship over.

_____________________________________________________________

So I have a LOT of thoughts on this.

For one, Every adult in miraculous is an idiot. Sabine, its good you has Socqueline there to help... but that doesnt really mean s***. This is where you work with the school to have her change classes, or even schools. 3 years of that treatment is enough.

Also, Damocles. You gutless coward. Even if it did cost you your job. The fact you let yourself get controlled to let your STUDENTS suffer is gross.

And Kim... Kim you are an idiot. The fact that you didnt even think that a prank like that was too far?! Adrien was more than justified in a cataclysm. But you did apologize and promised to THINK about the consequences. Plus you are a kid. I can forgive. But THIN ICE MY GUY

Chloé, yea season 2 and Season 3 chloé might as well be a completely different character than this chloé. Zoe appeared after harnessing any decency Chloé has left. But yea, I dont care for this chloé. Not gonna defend this chloé.

So this does explain a LOT about Marinette's more cautious personality. But it also doesnt make sense in a way that Marinette didnt really think things through before. Because if thats the case... then the thing that made her a good ladybug was because of a crippling trauma?! I feel like this maybe should have fleshed out younger marinette more.

Socqueline really was like an older sister to Marinette, but sadly it feels like her inclusion without mention before makes this feel like this traumatic event wasnt planned from the get go as the reason Marinette is how she is. Also after what happened to Socqueline. How could Tom and Sabine allow Marinette to go to that school again?! Seriously. Especially after KNOWING Chloé would be in Marinette's class in origins.

Side note, Adrien was 100% perfect this episode. Loved him. Ondine too. I do wish Civilian adrien did get ONE punch on Kim tho. Just one.

Chat noir laying a beating though was great.

Right, so even though I enjoyed the episode to an extent... I cant say it leaves the show in a better place. If anything, I think it leaves things much worse off.

6/10

3 points for the adrinette moments

2 points for Chat noir laying a beating on Kim

1 point because Kim apologized.

Overall I dont like the direction of things this implies

[saiiboat]

hi \o/!! for the tag game: i'm very interested in mike timetravel if you have any information on that you'd like to give? or maybe one of the poly fuga wips?

hi wsd!! i already talked a bit about the mike timetravel au here so let me scrounge up some poly fuga for you :33

its pretty much a "okay what if they didnt betray cell" kinda thing. VERY loose idea but essentially pac e mike dont betray cell -> cell is still weird creepy and gross but. not losing his mind because he wants to kill them so bad. basically pac does convince mike to work with cell instead of jv because of the protection cell can offer them. they come up with a plan to game jv instead and pretend to not work with cell just long enough to figure out the full escape plan so they can hijack it.

jv does still die in this! its awesome its bloody its hot. all great things

i also had some ideas about the actual prison gang stuff and pac e mike's position of being under cell's protection (which means a lot in alcatraz) vs still being relatively easy targets for someone who might want to exploit what they think is cells weakness. does not end nice for them tbh

cell is still gross and creepy but at this point theyre stuck with him. hes their gross and creepy now :/ he's definitely possessive of them and its not healthy but. theyre in prison. what about it is going to be healthy. i think its a lot of like. stolen moments that arent necessarily romantic but there are a lot of undertones. cell grabbing pac's chin and pac leting him handle him. possessive touches. at first its something that mike almost steps in on but eventually he knows that cell will only go as far as he thinks pac will let him, and pac only lets cell go as far as he thinks he can before mike's likely to gut cell with his own knife. its fucked and weird but its theirs.

hadnt thought about how guaxinim fits into all of this yet which was an oversight on my part. sorry everyone. anyways it probably goes very similar to canon except guaxinim doesnt mind trying to escape with cell because well. hes not constantly threatening his life this time. and lets just say that the boat fits all of them because why not. also now that cell escaped felps can find them outside of prison.

they find a place to lie low together because where the hell would they go but together and its. comfy. its undeniably fucked and cell is a miserable housemate but. guaxinim tempers him and they balance eachother out.

its after 2am and i so need to go to bed but hopefully this is cohesive enoygh so far to understand and i can always talk more about it when i do not have to sleep LOL ty for the ask now i really want to develop this au more. also i still have your other ask sitting in my inbox that i havent had the time or thoughts to respond to yet but i WILL i will get there.

[prettynhot]

12.01.2024 Fri the start of something? maybe?

2024 has been an amazing year so far! with the whole discovereu thing and the overall feeling,i’ve been doing good mentally! i feel and know that 2024 is going to be great!

i watched a vid yesterday about how our habits create our identity which goes hand to hand with our present moment. the girl on the vid was talking about the people who say “oh i used to be so skinny yet i thought i was fat, i was so skinny back then wish i knew!” she was making an analogy about how theres no end to a downfall. just goes and goes and goes until you decide to take things up a bunch of notches.

so i want to.

i love me,i love the girl i am,i love everything about me but not fulfilling my potential makes me feel unplesant.so i geniunely want to change. i’ll see how that goes. but i want to treat myself like a loved one again.

theres not so much ive achieved academically though yet.the reason for that is me. no bs. its me who didnt study hard and as much as i shouldve did and fell of my tracks. thats my fault and i know. just as i messed up though,i know im capable of getting everything back together as they were and maybe even better.with the whole huge exam thing i felt like i needed to push n push myself, not to care for myself and such. i thought that was the way it had to be.but no its simply not. im okay as i am. i have time. i have time for this and i have time for that. im good and on time.

lovin and caring for me has been a long journey and am not willing to give up just yet.

on that note and to take an action, i started getting help from one of my teachers. hes been great for this little time. i know thisll help me so much academically.

one other thing about that is the fact i have developed a crush on him.

and i know.

okay

i know!

but it was inevitable eventually.

hes a good and young looking man,who is quite fit and tall,knows how to dress, incredibly intelligent,mean to everyone else but me.

it was inevitable.okay.

i couldnt help but melt at all those times he made a joke and looked at me first to see if i was laughing,looked at me the most while teaching,always protecting me from other students.

plus considering all the di i have and my little tc history before,its not shocking. however i cant say that im not disappointed in myself a little. i thought my tc era had fully ended n i was recovered,healed,past that.appearently not. it does feel like going back a bit,like i’ve came back to an old self which shouldve been far far behind. however im not judging me cuz i know i had every single reason to and tbh,having a crush is very very fun. but anyway! theres that.

and actually,for some time i had noticed the little signs of me developing a crush,but i tried to ignore them signs and push them back time n time again,however they didnt magically disappear as i truly hoped they would.

and one other thing about all this is, after i realized i seriously had a crush on this man, before i started taking special academical help from him,it showed up in my behavior. and yes obviously thats very immature and childish for an 18yo. i know. im supposed to be an adult now and here i am going to my teachers office asking him “why are you working in the dark?would you like me to turn on the lights for you?” OUT OF NOWHERE.🤦🏻‍♀️ EMBARASSING UGHHH. i dont know what came over me truly. guess i want just behaving instinctively. but that was a dead giveaway from me and it sucked. he literally laughed when i did that💀cuz even he thought that was certainly absurd💀very embarassed.done with this.

anyway,ever since then i did have some little moments of instinctive behaving which were little giveaways. since then he has not been acting the same, which was what i loved the most,him being mean to everyone but very soft on me.

ever since these incidents, he has been incredibly mean to me. to a point where i was just about to cry once.

that one day i was about to cry,the one he really hurt me,he was dropping me off at my house since it was quite late. and it’s actually a nbd because he always drops students off and im always at seated at the back,for everything to be appropriate. yk,teacher student boundaries etc.whatever that means.

anyway he was quite chatty despite playing on me n being mean to me the whole time of both his classes but i was actually hurt. i had to keep myself from bursting tears in front of the whole class so i focused on my breathing n posture in order to not cry. and i did not since i made great efforts.but i couldnt help but feel like clown since i had dressed prettily,done my make up prettily just for him to maybe look at me more. notice me more. for him to be even nicer to me.i just wanted to be pretty for him to look at okay. i liked his validation i still do. so maybe i wanted that more i genuinely dont know. now writing all this maybe(probably) i was desperate n it showed. whatever the case maybe he was too mean. wayy too mean. yet still on the way home,he’s on his best behavior trying to talk to me,while we are alone in the car. he asks me questions about class,i answer them as they are.he did notice i was upset. he asked me about it. i told him nothing happened. he kept asking and asking. finally i told him how he hurt me so much during class. to this he got on full defensive mode, explaining himself quite ambitiously yet somehow mainting to stay relaxed and being able to laugh. going on about how teachers could be hurt from students but students cant from teachers and how just messing with students was the only thing he liked about being a teacher and i was trying to take that away from him?

honestly? bullshit to me. after he was done i explained i wasnt mad, i wasnt acting weird towards him or anything like that and i wasnt accusing him,i was just telling him how i felt upset by his behavior. to that he stayed silent for a while. then went on to say that i should focus on my studies no matter what and shouldnt care about what he says that much. then i told him we’ll see about that, thanking him while getting out of car.

and that day i had actually promised i’d go to see him for an academic review the day after but i decided not to go because i had a far more important thing to do.

today we had a class together.i intentially did nearly no make up,dressed slightly below average and avoided eye contact as much as i could, just cuz tomorrow ill go all out,so i wanted to create that contrast. im not trying seduce him nor am i willing to date him in any way, i just like his attention very much and i like the feeling of “winning someone over”. so i will. i believe in no time he’ll be doing his best to not like me so much. hes a strong minded man of principle so i know he certainly wont even get close to passing any lines in the teacher-student relationship,however id like to see him struggle :)

so thats all about him and my little crushing.

after im done writing this,i’ll get back to my house and study for tomorrows big big exam n pick out my outfit n make up for that day. then making myself some hot milk foamed coffee and resting is also in my plans.

thats all i can say for today. my friends didnt come to attend any classes tdy so i dont have any updates on that part,other than one of my friends texting me they have ripped the blouse they borrowed from me n could repurchase the same thing ‘if i’d like them to’ 🙂 obvi i said that wasn’t necessary because i know she wouldnt be able to get her finances right to afford that but im still upset because that blouse made me body look incredibly amazing:( but it’s okay ig.

well:)

all for now. see you tomorrow? ;)

[torchiiko]

ok zoochosis review/critique From someone who hasnt even played the game lmao

for those who dont know, zoochosis is a horror game abt dealing with mutated animals while "interviewing" for the night shift at a sketchy zookeeper job. heads up this ended up being WAY longer than i thought itd be & it might not make any sense without having seen at least one playthru. oops!

i think it has a great premise! its got an interesting concept but it isnt done as well as it couldve been. theres a lot of questions that either get left unanswered or the youtubers ive seen play so far just didnt find the answers, which sucks. the story doesnt feel finished, & i will give the developers some slack given that the screenwriter for the game passed, but that doesnt excuse releasing the game in the state ive seen in the gameplay videos

to start, the tutorial doesnt explain everything it should. youre only guided thru Some of the main tasks & sure, ppl can figure the rest out on their own, but when the entire gameplay loop revolves around diagnosing animals you need to make sure the players know how to use all the tools to get the correct diagnoses. maybe its in character for doc, the tutorial npc/antagonist to leave you half-informed, but it can just be frustrating for the player. it isnt Too big of a deal but i have seen ppl make a few easily avoidable mistakes bc they werent properly filled in at the start

next, the bugs are Nasty, to the point of preventing you from progressing or getting the ending youre attempting to get. you have to collect parasites for a shot at getting a good ending (killing "the mother", who ill get to later) but some of the parasites will either vanish when theyre needed after collecting them or inexplicably be dead when you need them alive. ive seen animals mutate while the player was still in the exhibit & be killed, only for the mutated animal cutscene to trigger as the player was leaving. the mutant was already killed, so theyre stuck with danger music blaring & the species name & empty health bar at the top of the screen. i have yet to see manlys playthru, but i hear he suffered at the hands of bugs as well

pausing to say smth positive before i move on to my main issue, the visuals are fantastic! the animals, being the main feature of the game, are very well done & i rlly enjoy how they incorporated certain behaviors, such as the giraffes spreading their legs out to get low enough to eat out of the trough & a few of the animals randomly sparring (giraffes fighting with their necks, moose butting antlers). its a real nice touch & adds a bit more life to the animals. the mutant designs are a little hit or miss, theyre definitely scary & unsettling but some are better than others. it doesnt help that the lights in the enclosures often go out when they mutate, making it harder to even see the monster design as they scurry around

the animals you can visit rotate in & out every time you finish a run, which i guess is supposed to keep things fresh so players replay multiple times but it just gets annoying. 1 new animal every couple hours doesnt make up for the fact those animals will eventually stop being new Or that you get locked out of a different animal. why cant they just all be available & the player can choose which ones they visit each run? probably to force them to see all the mutant designs... which. all the mutant encounters play out almost the exact same way. only the elephant has an interesting mechanic, its got armor plating that you have to get rid of before you can dart it either to cure or kill it. you have to bait it into charging at a wall to knock off its plating, thats cool! it adds strategy to the fight instead of just shooting 3 times. none of the other mutants have smth like this, they just run/climb/fly around

but my main critique is the Story. it feels rushed & poorly paced. a lot of commenters on jacksepticeyes video said it wouldve worked better as a slower burn & i agree. a single night isnt enough time to let anything simmer or have any big realizations or payoff, & it makes replaying the game over & over to see more endings or get more lore incredibly tedious bc of how repetitive the tasks are

the characters motivations are either entirely unknown or not strong enough. the player, paul, takes the job in the first place bc his family is allegedly impoverished, to the degree you have the option to smuggle meat-based animal food to his wife so she & their daughter can have "real food." the reveal happens not too long after; its human meat. which, even if it Wasnt, why would he ever think to give his family animal food?? itd be nice to break things up by days with sections at home so the audience can see what his home life is like & get a better idea of why he would be so desperate

additionally, he shouldve been offered an even higher salary as hush money to give him more incentive to go along with the downright illegal things going on! paul is shockingly nonchalant abt everything going on & goes along with it with little resistance. he just tosses a LIVING WOMAN into a meat grinder bc he was told to!!!! i will say the player can choose not to do this, but itd be nice if paul at least hesitates a little so the player actually knows they have a choice & arent being forced into it to progress

doc, on the other hand, has No known motivations for any of the aforementioned illegal goings on & makes No attempt to hide it!! he doesnt even try to cover up what his whole little scheme is, doesnt try to soothe paul by claiming the woman "deserves" to die bc shes a criminal or smth, or that the bodies are sourced from somewhere "more ethical" or even try to make up some nonsense abt human meat having health benefits to the animals, he just comes out & says "yeah the animals mutate & they can only be satisfied by human flesh. dont tell anyone bc u signed an nda & itll be a violation + ill kill you" ???

he explains "the mother" sends out parasites to infect & mutate the animals but we never get to know Why. why is he going thru all the hassle of appeasing this monster? the zoo has been closed for at least a year, how are there still funds to keep everything running? he supposedly has big connections to the point cops are covering for him, but WHY? why is he so important that the cops cover for him, what do they get out of letting it all slide?? does he actually still care abt maintaining the animals or is the whole zoo now just a front to funnel in more sacrifices?? was it always that way?? where did the mother come from?? what, exactly, is she?? nothing is ever explained abt this!

By the way, theres some extra, completely missable dialogue if you grind the woman right away after being told to. you get another call where paul Attempts to protest, but doc is like "lol lmao btw you have the same parasite the animals do. maybe if you survive the night ill cure you or smth. at least the mutants see you as own of their own. also ur poor & u need the money so do this" & like. the game Starts with paul saying he might get the job if he survives, then he gets locked into the zoo & his phone taken away & it somehow doesnt raise any red flags for him while his wife is like "this isnt normal!!!!"

also, completely irrelevant, but when doc leaves he offers to tell pauls wife hes staying the night bc shes waiting outside bc yknoe. it was supposed to just be an interview. but paul says "nahh dont tell her shell figure it out" so like. wtf paul. its Raining & ur letting her stand out there waiting for you??? some husband you are :/

anyway. if the game took place over a matter of days, we could have time to adjust, rlly let things sink in & maybe get some more answers drip fed to us over time. maybe youve been smuggling meat to your wife for a few days, having it for family meals until you get your first paycheck, but now the zoos supply is out & you need to refill it; cue the human meat reveal. it would also be nice if you could monitor an animals symptoms over days & potentially prevent them from ever mutating! the games subtitle is "rescue the animals" after all. youre supposed to be able to pacify mutants by feeding them the meat along with their regular food, but if you leave to go prepare the food mix, you risk the normal animals in the enclosure getting attacked & dying!

the game leaves clues like "monitor how often an animal sleeps, it could be a symptom of illness" or "look out for wounds on the animals" but when everything can be diagnosed with the main tools, & noticing these things doesnt do anything to prevent mutation, it just ends up being useless flavor text. also, every enclosure has at least one sick animal & a mutant Every Time, theres no variety. maybe its not "scary" to not have a monster attack you every 10 minutes, but itd definitely add some suspense. maybe you cure an animal only for them to remain sick, showing that smth deeper is ailing them

a night by night system would also be more interesting storywise! instead of finding out all thr dark secrets right away, things just seem more & more strange as you go on. maybe youre advised not to look into it if you wanna keep your job so you fall into blissful ignorance so you can provide for your family. maybe you do snoop around & get offered life changing amounts of hush money for your silence, since theyd "hate to lose a good worker :((". maybe there are more employees, some innocently unaware of the truth, some burdened with the knowledge of what rlly goes on but too desperate or afraid to speak out

the woman mentioned a few paragraphs ago, the one who gets meat grinded, shes actually crucial to getting a good ending. shes sarah, an investigative journalist, & you have to rescue her so she can help you get the recipe for a poison to kill The Mother & all her parasites (which will save your life). the motivation for her murder is obvious, she was gonna leak the whole operation, but wouldnt it be much cooler if she was undercover as an employee throughout the course of the game? shes working alongside you, trying to get more info, trying to convince you "hey, isnt this weird?" only for her to vanish one night, fired for "accessing unauthorized locations." if you already have suspicions you might be inclined to dig deeper & be able to rescue her, or maybe you take her firing at face value, thats what she gets for snooping, right?

one last little thing id like to mention here, in the best ending of the game you save the woman & expose the zoo, kill the mother & doc in one fell swoop as her poison needs delivered in live food, & save your wife. thats right, your wife gets dragged into this! yknow why? bc if you dont answer her calls, she reports her worries to the police & they kill her! & you are misled into doing this!!! when you save sarah, she tells you not to call your wife back & to save your phones last bit of battery for the police when you get some more evidence, makes sense right? except if you dont, she gets killed by said police! you Have to call her back & soothe her so she doesnt report you missing at the zoo & get killed. theres No way of knowing this before it happens, forcing you to replay the game to get the best ending even if you already got the good one (but your wife died)

it couldve been so, so cool but the story especially just falls flat. it seems like they either rushed it or just cared more abt having an excuse to show off their scary monster designs & threw the story to the side. ive seen ppl complain that the game was too short for the price, but ironically you have to play it over & over for hours to get more story ...unless you happen to get the default bad/death ending & assume thats all there is. or get too frustrated by bugs & glitches that you drop it entirely. its not Awful but its definitely unpolished & it shows

[irlbkgs]

🐛👕 for the ask game >.<

🐛 What kind of character development does your S/I go through within their story?

so nicky's always really struggled with a few things throughout his life: self worth, communication and lashing out. this is all very obviously bc of his trauma and the first two very much so have to do with his parents whereas the last one is The Disorders. growing up his parents were never really around and then out of nowhere when he was like 12 his parents adopted a child???? and then brought her with them to basically all their functions and "family" trips while he still got left at home with a nanny because he was always loud and argumentative, he liked asking too many questions and he was very hyperactive as a kid (still is as an adult but ya know), whereas this other girl, siobhan, was very shy and only really spoke when spoken to. despite it all, nicky and her got along well once he realized their parents had basically just adopted her to keep up appearances and she was also a very traumatized child which is why she was always so quiet, she was scared to speak out of turn, thinking (knowing) she'd be punished. still, nicky knowing this didnt help him build any sense of self worth especially when every time he did see his parents they made it clear he was worthless to them. because of him basically never seeing his parents and already struggling socially bc of audhd, he basically has terrible communication skills and he avoids confrontation like the plague with people he Actually Likes because he doesn't want to know how they actually feel about him since he's basically convinced everyone around him feels the same way his parents did. and then because of this when he does end up in confrontational situations he just ends up lashing out. he'd rather ruin things himself then let somebody else say what he fears most. this also sorta goes hand in hand with the bpd diagnosis he gets later in life but he never really received proper treatment for it. a lot of his lashing out is really just splitting but he doesn't know how to deal with that.

anyways i say all this to say i think being around people who like. go out of their way to save him even when he's actually useless in this world—like can't fight for shit, can't shoot, can't hunt, can't fish, is generally a klutz and has no volume control so taking him on runs is a risk in and of itself—eventually leads to him realizing that maybe he was just surrounded by The Worst People and that he's actually not worthless and just existing can be enough to make him worthy of care. i also think being around people who are much better communicators and are willing to be patient with him (glenn, maggie and carol especially) really helps him get a grasp on expressing his feelings without feeling so overwhelmed that it just leads to his own ruin every time. and of course being around somebody like daryl who actually wants him despite how he is and its not just for sex helps with all of that too bc basically every relationship he's ever had has felt more like transactional almost? nicky gets used for his endless devotion and how willing he is to give it up and nicky thinks if he just keeps giving eventually he'll actually get back a fraction of that affection. with daryl its actually mutual and it really confuses and scares him at first but it's also all he's ever wanted.

he really just sort of grows into the best version of himself when he's actually given the appreciation and love he's been starved of.

with kennie i think it would be very minimal just because the length of the story so far but also because she's reluctant to allow herself to change. she is changing whether she likes it or not but she tries to pretend it isn't happening because she's afraid of growing to be more open and caring. she's always struggled making connections and every time she has made one that she felt would last forever she's ended up regretting it for one reason or another and she doesn't want to let anyone hurt her like that again. she kinda fucks that all up when she starts attending GodU tho because first she let's emma in because she's just so. almost pure in a way? like kennie can just tell she's never purposely done anyone wrong and it's hard to not cave to someone so endlessly supportive and kind to you even when you're being a bitch. and then sam comes along and it really goes from "okay ill make this one exception but keep her at arms length" to "i need to keep this boy safe at any and all costs, fuck my safety, fuck my feelings, he could trample on my heart and id still be happy as long as he wasn't in danger" and it happens so fast that kennie doesn't know how to deal with her own perceived weakness. she knows she wants to let herself just feel everything she's feeling wholly, let herself love and dote on her friends and boyfriend, but there's just a part of her brain that keeps telling her these people are going to hurt her just like the others all did.

👕What are some other outfits your S/I wears throughout their story? Show us some examples of clothes they wear!

so for nicky it def changes from season to season. for s1 i think it'd be more stylized bc he had just dropped out of college when he walked out of the office and was greeted with walkers galore so he also had like a bag on him already of stuff he had to take out of his dorm room, giving him more clothing options than others may've gotten. he's definitely a layers guy bc he grew up in VT and the weather is very back and forth up there. some examples:

he def accessorized still at first so think rings, necklaces, earrings and hats (specifically a coonskin cap and an ushanka when it gets towards the winter). he wears classic dr martens with yellow laces.

later seasons get simpler especially when its hot. think wife beaters, jorts, bandanas to get his hair out of his face, possibly overalls. he drops the luggage post quarry so instead he has a messenger bag to carry necessities (probably the only guy who still has a tooth brush and he refuses to share)

and during like alexandria through commonwealth eras it'd still be simplified but there'd be more graphic tees and sweaters again

for kennie she's ur typical laid back college student in terms of outfits. she might wear more accessories than a normal person but besides that it's very simple. she can go from cutesy to gross in the same day if her mood switches between classes or events. she likes putting in effort but sometimes she just needs to leave looking like a slob or she wont show up at all.

this is her fc btw! cause i dont think ive ever posted it. (@/bo0giebrat on ig)

moving on to some examples tho! i think she'd have a thing for stars so you'd see a lot of that. green is one of her favorite colors so def a good amount of that too. she's a baggy jeans little shirt kinda gal but she'll switch it up sometimes. and she looooves stripes its her fave pattern evaaaa

[pilotheather]

another insane depression kms spiral. to the low stakes live blog we must....

ep 5 - time heist

ok so picking up here again

i dontthinkt his is a fair assessment per se cuz i was really out of it when i left off and im never good at picking stuff back up but

again i loooveee the premise. i love the set-up. its SUPERRR GOOD. and i do love the characters and literally EVERYTHING here its just brooo.....

it needs more time. this should have been a two parter. way too rushed. i think these extras could have been rlly memorable if they had that time to develop. otherwise theyre just sorta standard aliens with A Trait. anyways

still fun. bit silly.

i feel weird cuz like i feel like a lot of these eps so far ive kinda not connected to them and im wondering if thats just cuz inever aaw thme live and on rewatches im always either out of it, or slightly burnt out by the time i get to them (i hate s7 it exhausts me)

ajnways end of ep again would have loved this. wish it was a 2 parter tho cuz it could have genuinely elevated itself to suchhhh highs

ep 6 - the caretaker

ok so this ep basic premise its obvs more abt the dannster & a general character piece.

but speaking of oh my god. can we get someone else in the writing room. maybe its intentional? i feel like it's... just weirder if it is. but the doctor repeatedly calling him that just always feels insanely fucking racist. help

its even worse than with mickey. sorry i did post that reddit post before right. dw just hates black men i think. its a bit mental.

anyway i like danny. i think im liking him more on the second rewatch. like ok he's a little bootboy. but i think i forgot a lot of his like Actual Personality cuz im not as well versed in this era. and can i say. hes actually a delight to me. hes lame as shit. i love it when a boyfriend is lame as shit. so good. but hes also kinda dope as fuck

like he did a flip. is no one talking about how he did a flip

anyway i like this ep its fun and ive always liked this direction with clara.

ep 7- kill the moon

ngl i laughed when i saw this coming up

i like the role courtney plays, but i dont like a lot of the execution. i think teens/kids are a really hard thing to have in tv/movies for a load of different reasons. and tbh here its not just the actresses fault - shes doing fine with the stuff given, really - but i feel like the dialogue can have a tendency to be um... lacking. and they end up being dumb as fuck but also sometimes a deus ex machina weirdo. its like just write a person bro.

also why i didnt like the kid in Boom! most recently. like can we get a few more quarters in her? she's gonna repeat the same sentiment again for us all. i can see the arguments for why she was like that- but whatever not for this post

anbyways

this fuckng episode man im laughing stupid as fucking shit concept help me and i love the stupid as shit concepts

UI FORGOT ABOUT THE TUMBLR THING

WHY WAS THERE A CANONICAL TUMBLRMENTION. WHAT YEAR WAS THIS SEASON AGAIN. WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING TALKING ABOUT. IDK. SHES REAL THOUGH.

the moons an egg. give your head a fucking wobble, christ alive. help me god. help me please. its so funny. its like it could wokrk. theres bits of this episode i like. i like the concept of getting the entirety of mankind to vote on their phones for moon abortion. sorry its funny. but the moons an egg. help me. its getting heavier. YOU LIAR.

the whole lights thing too. like would this not only work on that side of the world. who is turning on and off the lights in the cities. whos doing this. help me

its so funny cuz the end of this is also very good its like theres a core to this that i really do fucking love i love claras blow up here and the way this is like the crescendo to everything thats been building up but help me you could have just . spent 10 minutes making it make sense. LOVE AND LIGHT

ep 8 - mummy on the orient express

yesss i like this episdoe (he says barely remembering this episdoe)

danny is so real. its crazy to me people call him whiny. he is literally the most reasonable man in existence. hes chill as fuck all things considered.

again my point abt ppl saying him and mickey are the worst. was mickey initially a great boyfriend, nah, he sucked and it was a lame relationship between two struggling not even 20 somethings. sorry. then rose went missing for a year and he AS HE SAYS was like prime suspect #1 and saw some insane shit that rocked his gourd. he was a pretty reasonable guy for someone that got eaten by a rubbish bin is what im trying to say.

hell yeah. we have the expert on the scary mummy omens thank you for giving us the exposition dump on the mummy

perkins is so pookie bear

whatever the fuck is going on with 12 and clara is insanity. its pure insanity.

the scary mummy awakens

you are NOT a mystery shopper >:(

help me god he says. i have ptsd. and the mummy is coming for me.

this is completely aside. clara looks utterly delicious in her fucking outfit. i think im going to

i actually did forget the resolution to this episode and it hits just right i shant lie.

OKAY end of ep. i fucking loved the middle i remember i loved it but i think the set up was a little slow going. my kind of fucking vibe all over.

can we keep perkins

perkins pleaAAASEEEE PERKINSSS COME ON. PERKINS WE LIKE YOUUUUUUUU PERKINSSSSSSS

[juniperjam-blog]

Read whats avaliable as of time of writing and I say its saccarine sweet! Definitely a good read for anyone who just likes watching women be gay and alot of cute domesticity ala Beauty and the Beast Girl, Sheep Princess in Wolfs Clothing, and Wife and Wife.

Story follows Vera, an adventurer, and her wife Ira, a catgirl (Kitsune maybe?), having eloped and living together with their two daughters. While its too short for me to make any guesses on plot progression (though I am putting ten bucks on escaping arranged marriage because I love drama) so far the writer has demonstrated a deep and clear love for both romance media and fanfiction, which I can appreciate as a fellow lover of yuri. Iras fangirling over her wife and Veras anxiety give texture to their fairytale romance, and its a nice suprise to see a romance series start off with children. The twins add a great bit of comedy and cuteness and I am a sucker for slice of life family shennanigans. Again its too early to make declaratives on their character writing but what is already here is a very solid foundation.

The classical manga look paired with the pastels and use of dream lighting reminds me of CLAMP, a good fit for the light and funny tone the story has established. The only major issues with it so far are the lack of memorability in designs as noteworthy features like Veras mullet and muscularity and Iras tiger patterning and fangs are subdued and hard to notice (I didnt even know Ira had a tail until a second reading). Detail work is clearly a talent of the writer from the carved headboard to the patterns on the shoes to the flowers, so it feels more like a matter of scale, giving these characters either more complex designs on a splash page and a few pieces which can be paired down for normal shots or giving them a few big details to have them stand out in the readers mind. Theres a bit of a stiffness with the posing, as alot of the more dynamic poses are exagerated and theres not a sense of true posture or physical weight to the characters, more a Visual Novel character pop up than a grounded place in the room. The best framing comes from the bed scene (not like that... yet) and I hope this is just a creative finding their sense of direction, and that the writer can develop a sense of framing intimacy as good as their comedic sense for motion. That being said the title page art and surreal backgrounds are enchanting storybook goodness! Cant wait to see more of the big pieces the artist has.

Overall the passion the artist has shines through, and I will be keeping up with this cutesy family, especially whenever I need a pick me up.

My new webcomic is up and updating on Canvas 🌸

It's a slice of life GL set in a fantasy world following the ridiculous flirting of a married couple!

Twitter | Instagram | Ko-fi | Webcomic

[tmwcs]

so hee from the mgr au became like obsessed with yn at somepoint? like even when he was still with vicky right? so what was his pov ? like the moment he met her and everything that happened what when on in his mind, how did he know she was just the one.. i suppose?

idk i find his character so intriguing it would cool to hear more of his part of the story!!

if u dont mind me asking all of this ofc <3 i loved the story and the sequel is great so far!!!

First, I'm so thrilled to hear that you enjoy the story and the characters. I really enjoy writing them out, and in later chapters, whenever I get to them for re-edits, there will be more about the male MC, you'll actually start getting to know a side of him either next chapter or the one after in MRE, which i'm going to try and post today and tomorrow.

I wrote alot to give you a better breakdown on MGR/MRE heeseung below, so i hope that gives you the answer. I really enjoyed answering questions so if you have any more, feel free to reach back out.

MGR/MRE Heeseung is a little bit of a hopeless romantic. He was always a sweet, hard working, talented and a very innocent type of boy growing up. when he grew into the stages of early adulthood, and started to notice girls and explore sex, he really couldn't get into finding any sort of enjoyment unless there was a strong emotional connection, regardless if it was sudden or built over time. (if you read the MGR series, towards the later chapters, theres an internal monologue where heeseung literally opens up and you learn a whole lot about his past and personal life...its going to be in one of the 18+ chaps)

MGR/MRE Heeseung is/has always been a nice person, a very nice guy, but he's also one you do not want to piss off. So he's got a very unique, soft and kind personality but also a strong one as well. Beginning MRE series, he's tired and established that vicky is not worth the effort (she had been cheating on him with gabe just bc well..money unfortunately) He was at stage where he was highly considering breaking it off with her, just trying to be considerate on how to do it without crushing her. Or he was about to, like was just waiting for the opportune time to do it. Or maybe in between both.

Heeseung's fondness for you was developed over time. When he met you and saw your gestures of courtesy and saw how nice, genuine and original you were, that triggered him to immediately develop a fondness for you. As time went by, you guys built a bond and got to know each other, normally when he was waiting for vicky to get out of class inside your dorm (after you extended the invite ofc) he became even fonder of you.

This gave him just that last little push he needed to just break it off with vicky, and thats why he pretty much ghosted her, normally he would opt to handle things rationally and end things with at least providing closure, but he didnt do that with vicky because he was overwhelmed with thoughts of you. like he was really into you and couldn't function because he was started to develop really strong feelings after getting to know you more and more each day.

The point where he did end up becoming obsessed or infatuated with you was during the last chapter of MGR (during the very 18+ scene) where if you recall reading it, he paused and asked you a question that took you by surprise. when you gave your answer, you can tell by his response to you that you were exactly what he was looking for, and at that moment thats when he became completely enamored by you. like you are what he breathes, drinks, sleeps, and eats.

Now i dont know a whole lot about the members, i have a friend who is a part of the enha community and her bias is heeseung. when she asked me to re-edit the draft to reflect hee/read MC, i asked her to give me like a full breakdown of heeseungs personality so i could add a flare of real heesung (ie, his kindness and his enjoyment for simple things in life vibe). she informed me many things, but the one thing that stuck out that i used to really help develop the yearn for love in his MGR character, was when she told me that he really loves his mom and compliments her. when i saw videos of him talking to his mom on the phone to get a feel of their bond, i translated that side to MGR hee.

he's a man who loves his family, really loves his mom because she's an amazing kind woman with a soft voice and the way he watched how she would love and take care of his dad growing up, really enabled him to yearn for someone that was similar to her in that aspect. so in MGR/MRE series, you reflect the same type of virtues, strengths, and feminine appeal that his mom has displayed towards his dad, and it just makes him feel wholesome and nostalgic. and that is really what triggered him to like you in the first place.

Now i will close with this. MGR/MRE heeseung has kind of the Rurouni Kenshin effect. he's nice, loving, caring, and a very ethical type of person. Once he does get pissed off (and its gotta be like really bad) thats when the Battosai comes out, ya feel me? so the latest chapter, we kinda dabbed into that regarding his sexual nature (Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde) which this side of him, i just imagined up all on my own, but just a hint, one of the next chapters, it might shock you just how...whats the word i'm looking for?....contemptuous. he's creative both beautifully and terribly (if he needs to be) and the next chapter (or the one after) might shock you.

[claitea]

I love your second chance au so far!! Do you have any other info on it?

! i do indeed!! its pretty much a completed au actually, its timeline is complete, i just didnt have plans to release it All in drawing form since just the parts i posted seemed enough

volo in the present day is a librarian. its a simple quiet job where he doesnt really need to interact with people too much, plus his obsession with research translates into a general love of books so he'll often stay after hours when he's supposed to have closed up just to read. he's still very good at the whole fake nice guy act so his few co-workers love him and think he's the best senior the library's ever had but he's sitting there like "they don't know i tried to end the world once"

i havent thought about his team much but i imagine to lower suspicion and not draw attention to himself he strays from using the same pokemon as cynthia. he's already been asked if he's related to her a few times and he's just had to try pass it off as a coincidence so people stopped asking. he keeps using the togepi line though they're his lil buddies and he adores them actually

the au's timeline is simple. volo gathers together emmet, barry and dawn to go find a way to reach hisui to bring back ingo and lucas so that volo doesnt have to keep seeing their names pop up and get reminded of how he Failed so bad at his original plan. its just salt in the wound to keep seeing lucas's face after volo vowed all those years ago to keep trying to meet arceus, but he still hasnt succeeded 200 years on.

at first, volo tells them barely anything. he doesnt even explain why he knows ingo and lucas are stuck in the past. so combined with his grumpiness around them they all initially distrust him, especially emmet who's just become a cool uncle and was trusted to protect barry and dawn. this trio's general cheeriness eventually rubs off on even volo and he cant help softening up after a while of traveling. thats where the guilt sets in for him, really slowly, he doesnt even realize he's getting too attached for his own good until its too late and now suddenly he's starting to develop Empathy again. so eventually he'll at least say he's from an ancient sinnohan lineage that granted him immortality and thats why he knows where ingo and lucas are. hard to believe at first but also dawn remembers that one story about the immortal guy in kalos so like. this might as well be happening

they find a way to timetravel eventually, they track down the lake guardians to (safely, unlike team galactic) summon dialga. a little before he lets them go to hisui, its been so long since they started travelling and the guilt's chipped away at him so much he comes clean. admits the whole past ordeal with giratina and why ingo and lucas were taken was because of him - ingo was direct interference since it was his rift that pulled ingo through, and even arceus itself was forced to call the only person strong enough to stop him, lucas, into hisui. he expects them to hate him after that and was fully ready for it but, while they're shocked and angry, they... still want to be friends with him. they've come to understand volo's changed for the better since his hisui days, they've travelled with him long enough to know that for sure and its not just volo being really good at the happy chirpy friendly facade. they dont forgive him for past deeds, i mean can you really excuse trying to wipe out the Entire Universe, but they at least give him a much needed second chance (roll credits)

emmet, barry and dawn get to reunite with ingo and lucas, everyone goes home. from there i was actually tossing up two ways volo could go: one becoming a researcher again, maybe moving to other regions to help out there. the other becoming a pokemon trainer, pokemon journeys are all about broadening your horizons and connecting with others so volo could benefit from it probably. also cmon he has three friendship evolution pokemon, even if he used to call himself a "wielder" he probably actually cares about his pokemon a lot very deep down. maybe emmet even invites him to be a special guest final opponent on the multi trains with him sometimes.

[piratedandy]

I'm super fascinated by my poll results so far-28 votes as of this post. 21.4% the first option. 46.4% the second option (that's not all that surprising. It makes sense that one of the less black and white answers has more love) 21.4% the 3rd option and 10.7% the 4th option.

My bf played buddy sim the night before I played kinitopet (I ofc watched him play buddy sim and he watched me play kinitopet) so maybe that's why the similarities were so striking to me

Rambling opinion on it all ⬇️

But like. Without thinking about it for long I could already come up with several similarities

Both characters pretty much immediately saying "Thank you for waking me up" it think in that exact phrase for both?

Both games following characters starting with rudimentary games and then building up to them making a larger experience tied directly to questions they asked about you-especially the asking about the season thing.

The cutaway to seemingly "random" horror bits (the glitch scenes for buddy sim and the scenes like the hide n seek game for kinitopet)

I want to loosely add the ending with a song thing. A lot of games follow that structure. (Portal/portal 2 and Doki Doki come to mind) Though both songs center specifically around friendship. I do believe that tropes are tropes for a reason, and it's not a bad thing to include in your game. I think what stands out to me is that so many of the tropes appear in both games in very similar ways imo

Even down to giving both characters "access" (though kinitopet does make that aspect a lot more apart of the game)

I think they both have a music track by the same name too?

I think I would feel less strongly about it if kinitopet was more developed. That might not have been the vibe the developer was going for, but I think the fast pace combined with the kind of loose horror scenes made all those similarities really stand out to me. If it felt more developed, I think I would appreciate the game a lot more for what it is and the road it takes than just have it remind me of something else.

I went into it wanting a new digital horror experience but spent like half of the time sharing looks with my boyfriend about it. Not all of those looks were disappointed looks. They started as sort of excited that a game was expanding on different aspects of a similar idea to one of my favorite games. They just kind of became disappointed

Overall I feel kind of neutral about kinitopet. The things i liked and the things i didnt kind of weigh each other out. For some people, a bite sized horror experience is exactly what they want. I'm sure those people would have opinionated critiques of buddy sim for not getting straight to the point like I do of Kinitopet for not taking its time. It's all opinion at the end of the day.

I do think the character of kinitopet was really fun though. And the way he messed with your desktop did stand out among other games who did similar things.

But, I did feel like the horror was rushed which made it feel cliche and not very scary. Then again, I was in the fnaf fandom back in the day lol so maybe I don't have legs to stand on there.

Long story short. The summary of my opinion on kinitopet would be: if it expanded on its premise more, the similarities would be less striking bc it would have set itself apart. Without expanding on it, it just feels like a skeleton of other digital horror that came before it. That is just my opinion tho.

[shkspr]

hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole

hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.

the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.

like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.

basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)

i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:

moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor

rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.

this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.

incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.

like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.

this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.

and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.

moffat hates women

he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.

girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!

its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.

not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.

does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.

genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.

moffat hates permanent consequences

steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.

the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.

rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”

basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*

*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.

i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.

and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.

it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.

so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.