#'why did you make them look so cunty? BECAUSE I CAN

[soullessseraphim]

I'm in too deep.

[hauntingblue]

Gear 5 luffy's laugh is so contagious I just hear the drums and go insane how does this work. What did he do to me

[weebsinstash]

I know you mentioned that you aren't a big fan of pregnancy AU stuff in Hazbin, but hear me out...

Imagine Yandere Valentino getting his Darling pregnant to have a living bargaining chip to make sure she doesn't even try to leave him

New idea. What if the only people who can procreate in Hell are red string soulmates, or, it's like akin to ABO in the sense that not everyone or every combo of people could create a baby.

I was thinking about a yandere Valentino who has Reader as his red string soulmate whatever and you run away after seeing how truly abusive he is to other people, worrying for your own safety, and you're missing for like a straight year before Valentino finds out where you are, and... he's all but KICKING DOWN the door of your apartment, and he's looking at you like a hungry predator ready to pounce on you, cornering you, and

a baby starts crying from the other room and you're SPRINTING to the noise and Valentino finds you defensively holding a little bundle to your chest, growling snarling baring fangs holding a knife whatever at him, and Valentino thinks you adopted some other man's kid, some little imp bastard or something, and he's furious, he's raising his voice, he's getting closer, he's-

making perfect eye contact with a little tiny baby replica of himself as it turns to look at him with its big red eyes and chubby cheeks and fat arms and. It takes Val a few seconds to process it. The baby looks right at him and is whimpering and gurgling, upset, but doesn't cry. The baby boy sneezes and his antenna flip back and forth. He's got lil hearts in his fur and his teeny antenna are already so fluffy.

'Oh but aren't baby moths technically caterpillars--' shut the fuck up, you're demons and also that would be ugly as fuck. You want to give birth to a 20 armed baby or something. No. We save the truly inhuman babies for the human x monster/alien/whatever prompts. Your baby comes out a mini mothperson and it's fluffy and chubby and fucking adorable and also shut up

Val is just, SMITTEN, the narcissism is turned up to 100, he's rapid cycling emotions, "*GASPING* OUR BABY IS SO FUCKING CUTE, WHAT THE FUCK, I WANT TO HOLD HIM" "So I knocked you up good huh 😏" "*already on the phone in a group call with the other Vees and taking 200 pictures* you should see this thing, he looks just like me, can you even believe that, I can already tell he's gonna be so handsome and successful cuz he's MY son" "aw, amorcito did you think you needed to run away to protect our baby because I have so many enemies? You're such a good mama ❤️❤️❤️"

You spend like MONTHS lovingly protecting and sheltering your child until he's a healthy giggling little chubroll and Val has him for like two days and suddenly your baby has his ears pierced with diamonds in them and Valentino is walking around in his high heels and slutty bodysuits with your son in a papoose cuddled into his chest fur. You're holding your sleeping son while Val is beside you and someone sneezes across the room and the baby stirs and here's Valentino, "SHUT THE FUCK UP, MY SON IS SLEEPING", like, NOT ANYMORE YOU DUMB JACKASS???

'Oh gee why is Valentino suddenly funding and producing more erotic films involving moms and breeding and pregnant people and lactation-' you fucking know why and honestly I think it'd be SO FUNNY if he's like, "oh yeah, don't worry, I want you on birth control too mami. I missed fucking you and I kinda wanna do a lot of that without worrying about another little niño or two. At least not for a while :)"

Valentino on the red carpet being his cunty fashionable self while his baby is in a sling and they're both wearing matching outfits. Your baby boy has a tiny iced-up watch that's worth more than the entire building you were living in before his father found you. Your "husband" is posing half-naked with your baby on the cover of Demon Playboy which he owns, "HELL'S HOTTEST NEW DILF" like I COULD NOT WITH THIS MAN

And obviously he's got new kinks now that you're a mom and he absolutely fucks the hell out of you to the point you would get pregnant again without the birth control 😳 valentino on some real "is this the milk you've been feeding my baby with, let me try some" type stuff where he's milking you dry during his bang sesh and your son has to have formula that night because your tank is EMPTY 💀 YOU'RE A RAISIN LIKE THAT SCENE FROM SCOOBY DOO ZOMBIE ISLAND--

God. I've read horror stories about women getting pregnant again even WHILE being on multiple types of birth control so, then you get knocked up again Because Of Course You Would, You're Taking More Creampies Than A Professional Rodeo Clown, and what does Valentino say? "Fuck it, I wanna keep it! I can't just MURK my baby after it beat the odds, that's so ME!" And now you're having twin girls 💀💀💀 who knows, maybe having some daughters would teach Valentino to actually respect women--

I feel like you would wake up one morning and be genuinely hysterical because your baby is missing and you can't get in contact with Valentino and you're freaking out at the absolute highest level and it turned out to be some dumb shit like Val just took your son along with him for THE ENTIRE DAY and didn't think of mentioning it to you because "but you were needing a break and we were bonding, mami. We were having our guy time. I was leaving for work and he looked at me and he SMILED AT ME. What the fuck was i supposed to do, I couldn't just LEAVE HIM, he wanted his papi"

Of course, all these ideas hinge on the concept of Valentino actually caring for his baby. He could still genuinely use it as a tool against you. You're out running errands and suddenly you're getting a call. It's Valentino. He wants you to come home; you left the baby with Kitty so you could go out for a little while for some 'you time' since you've been trapped at home hiding ever since you ran from him before learning you were pregnant. It's not even about you leaving the baby with a nanny; it's about you not being home when Valentino came to visit you and him being uncomfortable not knowing exactly where you are and exactly what you're doing

Well, you got a little smart with him. You've just spent the last about 11 months living through hell with your pregnancy and hiding; you deserve to get some fresh air and walk out on the town and--- in the middle of you lecturing him you can just hear your baby making baby noises through the phone and Valentino just adopts this... tone in his voice, "amorcito, I came to spend time with you and our little frijolito and you're not heeee~ere. You know I can have trouble concentrating when I've had a few drinks and, earlier i dropped my phone on accident and i thought 'oh, it's good i wasn't holding something important"

You're home within 20 minutes and Valentino is cuddling into you while he puts some garbage on TV and pretends not to notice how you're trembling as you hold your son and send the occasional wary glance his father's way...

[radawayghoul]

His Little Dove | Sneak Peek

A/N: here's a little sneak peek, babies!! this is completely unedited, i literally just typed this up in about five minutes so i will likely make adjustments buuutttt i wanted to give y'all something for now!! if you'd like to be tagged, let me know and i'll start makin' a list!!

Warnings: cursing, people being cunty but i mean...this is Lee Russell y'all...umm 18+ only, MDNI!

For as long as Lee could remember you had been there, with your amazing hair and beautiful, shy, sickly sweet smile. If he hadn’t married when he met you, he’d have scooped you up and made sure nobody else got their sticky little fingers on you. Even still, in his mind, you were his. His saving grace, one of the only people he trusted outside of his wife. He liked to call you his little dove because of how innocent and pure you looked. It was his tradition to tease you when it was just the two of you in the teachers lounge when Amanda finally let you roam free. Watching your face bloom with those shades of red was like doing a bump of coke on a hot, spring vacation evening. It sent a rush of adrenaline through him that made him wanna do it over and over again. And do it, he did. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oh, hey Neal…okay.” You said as Neal stormed past you just outside Lee’s office. You gave Lee a questioning glance through the glass, a bit stunned you were given such a cold shoulder. 

Lee merely smirked and shrugged, waving you into the room to which you did so eagerly. 

“What was that all about?” You questioned, plopping down in one of the chairs in front of his desk, crossing one leg over the other, adjusting your skirt in the process. 

“Gamby’s being a whiny little cunt about who the next principal is gonna be.” Lee rolled his eyes, “I didn’t call you in here to talk about that loser, Iiii want to know what you’re up to.” Lee rested his elbows on his desk, wiggling his eyebrows with his hands folded under his chin, a small smile playing on his lips. 

Heat rose to your cheeks, dusting them in that beautiful, deep shade he loved oh-so-much. 

“Oh, please, you know I don’t ever have shit going on. Why?” You squinted at him, suspicious about what he might be up to. 

“Ohhh because I have to stay late tonight to get some of these files done on the new teachers and want your beautiful little detective self by my side.” Lee winked, leaning back in his chair, still smiling with that mischievous glint in his eye that he was famous for. 

You snorted. “You and those fucking files,” You shook your head, returning his playful smile, “Of course I’ll help you, Lee. But you really shouldn’t cut into my class time, it makes me look bad.” You fake an exaggerated pout at him with your arms crossed. 

Lee rolled his eyes. “Don’t you worry, darlin’, when I’m principal, you can cut class anytime you damn well please. Now, go on, git.” He shooed you away, shooting you a wink. 

You let out the softest of giggles, shaking your head at your silly friend as you left his office. The butterflies stirring in the pit of your stomach were sure to do you in at some point. The feelings you held for Lee were fierce. But, they had to stay a secret. He was a married man for Christ’s sake. But you loved him all the same and couldn’t deny him even if you wanted to. He was so charming, it was impossible to say no. 

So, on your way back to your classroom, you held a hand to your chest and took a deep breath to calm your sputtering heart. The heat in your cheeks hadn’t let up a single bit since you’d left him. The effect he had on you was intense. It was enough to make you feel cock drunk without ever even having him inside of you. Not that that was something you should be thinking about your best friend who is married but it was the closest feeling you could compare it to. Like you were high on the man that is Lee Russell…even if he is a bit…wild. 

-

tag list:

[ninyard]

last but most certainly not least. pt 3 of the bonus chapters (TKM)

Aaron's chapter (once again going to be putting like. the whole thing here.)

One of these days Aaron would love to know what about that mouthy liar had people bending over backwards for him [...] He could waste his time being angry, or he could go the tried-and-true Minyard route of infuriating everyone else around him.

i love how much he despises neil fr. and the Minyard route???? i love that

"Hey, Bee," Aaron said.

why did this like. give me such nathaniel neil vibes. hes so cunty for this im obsessed

Andrew looked relaxed where he was tucked into the corner of the couch, one knee hugged loosely to his chest, but Aaron wasn't fooled. They were twins: there was too much of them in each other despite all the years they'd spent apart.

one) andrew is so cosy <333 two) ouch. THERE WAS TOO MUCH OF THEM IN EACH OTHER DESPITE ALL THE YEARS THEY'D SPENT APART????? literally screaming into a pillow at this one

"Did you know Andrew's fucking Neil?" [...] Andrew cut in with a flat, "I'm not." Andrew wouldn't waste his breath lying when Aaron was right here to argue with him, but Aaron knew his accusation wasn't far off the mark. [...] That Andrew hadn't sealed the deal yet was the least important detail, but Aaron was willing to be an ass about it.

I love that andrew is banking on the technicality that like. no he's not. they haven't. and aaron saying andrew hadn't "sealed the deal" has me SCREAMING. thats so funny

"Go slash some tires, or whatever it is you do for fun."

HES SO FUNNYYY

"You made him a priority," Aaron said. "[...] but for the record, I think he's an insufferable asshole. [...] Exy this, Exy that, get a fucking hobby. Oh, but i guess he did?" He sent a pointed look at Andrew.

GET A FUCKING HOBBY. aaron minyard i'd die for you.

"You know, I asked him about you. I asked him if he was taking advantage of you. He tried to punch me out." "You bring out that urge in people," Andrew said.

i'm so glad that we know now that andrew knows about this interaction. like i wonder how he felt hearing that.

"Betsy and I were talking about Monday." [...] Andrew hadn't called her "Betsy" in over a year. He'd never seen Andrew so hard on a back foot, and it was as terrifying as it was thrilling. [...] Andrew didn't want to talk about Neil with Dobson because once he broached that subject he either had to lie to all of them or admit Neil was more important that he wanted him to be.

throwing up, literally no words just throwing up

"I like Neil's promise ring, by the way."

AARONNNNN. HIS PROMISE RING. PLEASE. and also the "Matching set, very cute." why is he so funny

Andrew's smile was all ice, and he wielded honesty like a knife. "They're not decorative, you ignorant little shit. Someone like you wouldn't understand the importance of hiding scars." [...] Aaron would have to figure it out later, but not now. Andrew was trying to pull him off track and [...] he'd never find his way back if he followed it to whatever ugly truth Andrew was hiding. He forced Andrew words aside to haunt him later

this just made me wonder if there's every going to be a moment where aaron figures out what this means. like. my stomach feels sick thinking about it just him having this moment where it clicks and makes sense and he realises what andrew's hiding and will they ever be able to have that conversation?????

"It bother you your pet project is queer?"

AARON

"I'm not always okay with what he is, but these days it's less that he's gay it's that he's [...] weaponized it. It took him so long to come to terms with it that now he lashes out first, pushing as hard as he can to figure out who's safe and who isn't."

nicky baby :(( why does this make me so sad

"I don't care that you're gay, and I don't care that you picked the literal most irritating person on the planet to fall for. I care that you're being a hypocrite."

Aaron Minyard #1 neil josten hater.

Andrew was picking idly at his jeans: an agitated tic that had mostly disappeared once his medicine was out of his system. [...] Maybe he needed a few more moments to come to terms with their easy acceptance. [...] Finding out how important he was to Andrew was an ongoing, eye-opening experience. Finding out just how important Dobson was, that Andrew wouldn't risk her unfavourable opinion by telling her the truth about his sexuality, was equally fascinating. [...] She truly mattered to Andrew when so few people did anymore.

once again andrew :((( my boy :((( why am i crying

"I love Katelyn. I love her more than anything. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, but I am trying so goddamned hard to wait until graduation because you asked me to. So why aren't you doing the same?" "You have abysmal taste in girls," Andrew told him.

KATEAARON YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO MEEE

"Neurosurgeon, right?" [...] He and [his mother] had been watching a medical drama with dinner while Andrew hovered silent and distant in the doorway, and Aaron had foolishly said, I want to do that. His mother laughed him out of the room for daring to think he could make anything of himself."

one) andrew talking about aaron to bee two) andrew being the only person who remembered or knew he wanted to be a neurosurgeon three) his mom laughing at him :(( for daring the think he could make anything of himself???? what the fuck and also andrew signing to the team for aaron's sake to get him through college to follow his dreams??? sobbing

"I'm trying, okay? I'm trying. Years too late, I know, but you refused me first. I begged you to come home with me. You can't blame me for not trusting you." "I am capable of multitasking," Andrew said. Aaron heard what he didn't say: I blame us both.

SDHFGAOLFGAJRDHGJDF

"She's just another tiny skirt here to use him up and distract him from what he wants."

ANDREW

"My hands are full with too many idiots," Andrew said. "When she shows her true colors, I will not have the energy to put him together again."

one) liar. i know you'd go to the ends of the earth again and again and again for him. two) TOO MANY IDIOTS

"You can't be brothers while you are each other's jailors."

:D screaming

"Says the man dating a mafioso." "I'm not dating him," Andrew said, with a hint of impatience. Aaron saw right through him, and it was enough to make him smile as he turned his gaze out the window. "Liar."

sobbing. they love each other so much and Andrew is such a liar and i can't deal with them. they kill me

[missisjoker]

ABO prompt

Imagine a modern AU where Jacaerys is an unmated omega from a rich and powerful family, and needs bodyguards. Constantly. He grew up under watchful eyes and for the most part is used to it, because all bodyguards his mother gets him are betas, respectful, polite, reserved, mindful, and very demure.

Until the threat from the Greens looms and Luke gets hurt, and Daemon announces that from now on all bodyguard duties will be given to alphas he has personally chosen.

Jace gets Cregan Stark- a young, but battle-tested veteran who is unmatched in combat skills and is nothing like Jace's previous buddy beta guards.

Where Jace's betas were agreeable, Cregan is unmoving. Sharp. And strict. Naturally, Jace immediately starts rebelling, and his natural cuntiness skyrockets.

His suppressants work well, top-notch, and he is 100% sure he is not attracted to his new obnoxious, nasty alpha. However, he is quite certain Cregan does find him appealing (he isn't blind, he sees the lingering glances and crowding of the personal space).

He even starts teasing Cregan about it, something along "no need to pretend to check the perimeter around my back, Cregan, I know you just want to smell me."

Cregan, for the most part, just ignores it- which makes Jace sulkier. So, Jace decides to retaliate, ditches Cregan by escaping through the window, and goes to the club. Mixes and mingles with others, even gets himself a handsy beta that invites him to the vip lounge. They only get down to kissing when Cregan storms in and carries Jace out without a word.

Jace is livid until Cregan drags him back- into the now empty room- and shows him a hole in the wall right where he was sitting.

Grabs him by the throat, and growls in that husky voice of his, "This is a bullet hole, if you moved one second later than you did, it would've entered here,"- he pushes two fingers into Jace's forehead, "And exited on the other side. So next time you try to run, remember you might not run far. Now get back to the car."

Jace follows him in silence, horrified. By the time they reach Cregan's jeep, Cregan's fury subsides, and he turns to Jace, gives him his jacket, rubs his hands on Jace's arms. "Hey, it's alright, kid, you're safe. I won't let anything happen to you, I promise" Cregan cups Jace's face and traces his jaw with his thumb, "You just have to promise you'll never run away from me like this again. Yes?"

"Yes."

The ride home is quiet. Jace lives in the two-story penthouse, so Cregan takes up the downstairs lounge, while Jace sulks about his upper level. After the shower and a nice flowery bath, the whole ordeal seems less ... real, so Jace just goes to sleep.

His dreams are different this time; before he mostly dreamt of pleasant things, running around flower fields, enjoying the sun, laughter, and soft hands touching and hugging him. This time it's different- there is a shadow standing behind him, enveloping him, radiating fury and absolute danger, making the hair on his neck stand up... but the shadow seems to loom so large all other shadows just scatter away and disappear, and Jace willingly sinks into the darkness. And now it's rough hands on his throat, on his waist, on his thighs, roaming and taking, and lips and teeth leaving marks in unthinkable places...

Jace wakes up sweaty and hot, and his feet automatically take him downstairs.

Cregan isn't sleeping either,

"You were moaning in your sleep"

Jace pouts, "well, it's your fault. And you have to fix it."

"You need to get back upstairs, Jace. NOW."

"Why? Am i so disgusting you can't even bare to look at me?"

Cregan stares at him, with eyes glowing, his alpha growling deep in his chest, "I can smell your arousal from upstairs. I bet you are dripping wet right now, you need to get back to your room."

"No, YOU need to fix this mess. It's all your fault, your smell, your skin, your assholness, your everything!"

Cregan closes the distance between them in two strides,

"Are you sure you wanna go there, little prince? Have you even been with alphas before?"

"I am not little and not a prince, and don't worry, I can handle you just fine."

Cregan hums approvingly, fingers grabbing Jace's curls to give him access to kiss the man's neck. "Good then, take your clothes off and get upstairs."

Jace whines, "Why upstairs?"

Cregan chuckles, "The bed is bigger."

[gloria123idk]

Female TWST

I am a huge women lover. Like its obvious at this point I love women. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. IM. ON. MY. KNEES.

Thats why I shall type main Twisted Wonderland cast as female, because y e s. Btw they personality wont change much, I am just changing the looks

Riddle

Im already huge simp for Disney Queen of Hearts so yeah... Its gonna be worse. I think F!Riddle would be either a short haired or VERY LONG HAIRED. No inbetween, probably long haired so her mom would do this weird smartass haircuts (Like the bun she has herself.). Also girlie is still short, Im so sorry girl you aint getting high shelves soon (I love short girls)

Trey

OMG. GIRL IN GLASSES. YES. Also, Trey can cook and is basically, like a parent to anyone, so his female version would be taken by STRAIGHT MAN. NOOOOOOOO. That not good. Also, I like to think F!Trey would have a very average hair, that never go below shoulders

Cater

I once saw Gyaru Cater art, I inhaled this into my soul. Cater would be either, this Gyaru like girlie on her phone 24/7 (Like Yandere Simulator bullies), OR an average TikTok girl, that uses slang a lil too much (I am more into Gyaru version myself, BUT WHATEVER.)

Ace

The first thing that came to my mind is that F!Ace has very VERY long hair, that she ties into a braid (Like Raiden Shogun kind of length), just so when she turns around fast, she would hit anyone behind her with that massive ass braid. Like, that sounds like very Ace thing to do tbh??? 😭

Deuce

Here I cant decide if Deuce would delinquent era as a girl would still be a delinquent, OR a mean bully girl. Because, those two are kinda the same breed 😭. But if delinquent: A fucking one side shaved (lesbian ahh haircut) and now Deuce is trying to grow that shit out. If a mean girl: ... Do you guys know Heathers? :3

Leona

I shall inhale BUFF WOMAN, WITH MY WHOLE SOUL. Like, F!Leona would have that 6 pack, my friend said she would have big booba, but GENUINELY, I cant imagine that, like FLAT QUEEN. Also, the same as Deuce, one side shaved, with a fucking tattoo, also the hair side has a little silly braid

Ruggie

A chin length hair, with a shmol ponytail behind, like... Shmol shmol. Also I imagine F!Ruggie to dress as a man sometimes, because: DID YOU KNOW THAT FEMALE HYENAS HAVE PSEUDO-PENIS—

Jack

F!Jack the buff tall woman with a wolf cut. Please. MAKE THIS A THING. I BEG YOU ALL. I BEG ON MY KNEES. Also maybe F!Jack would be a lil bit shorter? Because she-wolves (or whatever you call it in English) are shorter than males? Idk, I was sleeping through biology classes

Azul

OFFICE. SIREN. F!AZUL. Thats all I have to say, hair in a bun, glasses, and cunt mixed with formal look. Azul is somewhere between spectrum of F!Floyd and F!Jade, because as F!Floyd is more cunty, F!Jade is more formal, so perfect balance

Floyd

As I said, Office Siren F!Floyd, but... MORE CUNT. And by this I mean like... Bayonetta level of the cunt. Also, a quite long hair, that are either in ponytail, or nothing at all

Jade

Idk if I can call her an Office Siren if she's the most formal out of the 3, but sure, whatever, lets make whole Octavinelle serve cunt in industry. F!Jade has shorter hair than F!Floyd, and they're always somehow tied up

Kalim

Do you know those silly girls, that go to parties every time, do tiktok trends, do many different hair styles daily, shares her things with everyone, and may or may not be into things that may be considered cringe? Like hobby horseing? DO I NEED TO SAY MORE.

Jamil

Mental support girlie. "Girl's girl" girlie. Yes— Like, yes. F!Jamil would have this kind of karen mom sense of fashion, if you get what I mean, also cardigan at ALL TIMES, if she wont do the "grandma cardigan" move ITS NOT F!JAMIL!

Vil

Funfact: When I imagined F!Vil I basically imagined MY FUCKING BULLY FROM MIDDLE SCHOOL 💀. WOW. F!Vil got that style, got that fashion, got that tits (Im sorry, I needed to type that. That was stronger than me). Curly long hair, many different hairstyles, bro is basically now nicer Velvette from Hazbin Hotel (How many references and comparing I already done. Holy moly)

Rook

I recently realised that, if Rook had a little longer hair, he would be basically Yumeko from Kakegurui, so lets go with that, because Im ain't fucking with his ugly ass hair cut. Rook would also be taken by straight males and called YANDERE 😭 Another nightmare to my collection...

Epel

Tomboy. T o m b o y. Tom-boy. TOMBOY. tomboy. T O M B O Y. Need I say more? F!Epel would AND WILL look like a man the same way Epel looks like a woman. I am not taking this back. Let that shit sink in.

Idia

Discord kitten or this one girl you hear at 3 am in Valorant that rages over shitty players and just cuses everyone out in the most diabolic way possible. No inbetween. F!Idia would look like Sucy from Little Witch Academia, with longer hair tho

Ortho

Robo-girl? Yes. For F!Ortho I think she would be the same as normal Ortho, with just more shaped hips, and that's basically it? Nothing crazy, I mean you can play a little with his design, like make his ,,shoes" look more like heels, but other than that?

Malleus

Starting with hairstyle, do you know Raiden Mei from Honkai Impact 3rd? Like... Herrscher of Thunder? That's basically this kind of hair cut, no one can tell me otherwise. Also F!Malleus this kind of girl to fight and beat your ass in heels 😭

Lilia

He already looks like a girl. So F!Lilia would be a little bit more... Manly? But in like... Female way? I dunno, Lilia is complicated person. In her general era she would have a very short hair, buzz cut even, but in current era, she grew some balls and now she can even tie it into ponytail (Also another girl to beat your ass up in heels)

Sebek

F!Sebek fits in both long hair and short hair. For short hair I would go for like basic shoulder length that is always tied up (you know, for fight), for long hair I would go with same concept, but more for tying similiar to the one that has Charlie from Hazbin Hotel (the new design)

Silver

... Hair that looks short, but are actually long due to nearly invisible ponytail in the back, that's basically like rat tail hairstyle. No. I wont elaborate. (Ngl, that shit is lowkey good for fighting) (Probably Lilia fucked up her hair)

(holy shit what did I created)

[dontbesoweirdkira]

For a cunty request can I have a time traveler reader with any of mafia? Maybe Vico or Tommy?

A/N: oh this is going to be hilarious! Thank you for requesting…stay cunty😘✨ (hopefully I did your idea some justice. I didn’t entirely know what scenario you wanted so just some general thoughts)

Warnings: ⚠️a little bit of Joe Barbaro ⚠️

Masterlist

Requests: open 24/7

I’ve chosen Vito because have you ever seen those memes where it’s like, “a victorian child would probably have an aneurysm over this”, yeah…that would be Tommy if you appeared in his timeline

Like that man is stressed the hell out enough! Don’t go ruining his life further with your shenanigans.

Besides Vito would definitely take this far better than anyone else with the exception of the characters from mafia iii. My brother has been to prison, shipped out to war, and now suddenly in the mob…he’s definitely seen some unspeakable shit..

Every soldier has at least one paranormal experience…for him it just happened to be your dumb ass.

He’s not amused by you in the slightest at first..what the fuck is an iPhone and why are you dressed like an idiot? Are you high on something or just unwell?????

“Look Lady, I really don’t have time for this shit and I have places to be. If you need something there’s a Salvation Army right down the block..”

Of course you keep persisting that you’re perfectly fine and that you’re actually from the future. I can just imagine Vito speed walking away with an exasperated expression plastered across his face; you're just continuing to spew nonsense as you follow him.

“I-I don’t want to hear you talk about your fucking bullshit future! Please just go away.”

This man’s blood pressure is through the roof at this point. He’s even trying to physically shoo you away, if it wasn’t for his background he would’ve taken you to the police department.

“Okay do you want a dollar? Huh, will that make you finally stop yapping?? Actually, here take 20 and go away.”

Eventually he just gives up. You’re the most hard headed individual he’s ever encountered and he let’s you follow him. You’re obviously not giving this up.

Partly thinks this is some kind of prank Joe set up to get back at him.

So naturally his first instinct is go go find Joe because if he has to hear the crazy shit you’re spewing, so does he.

Worst. Mistake. Ever.

At first Joe is also trying to get you to leave his buddy alone. Even offering you money just like Vito did earlier but then a light bulb goes off!

Joe’s main mission in life is to piss off Vito and for him…golden opportunity right here for free.

“Sooo…Y/N was it? Tell me, if you are from the future, will Vito always be this fugly?”

“Oh shut the hell up for once would ya? This is a serious situation we have on our hands and you think this is the time to be making jokes??”

“Maybe not fugly but he will end up being a grumpy old man with no wife or kids.”

Joe absolutely loves you and you’re now besties

“Oohhhh no. You two will not be in cahoots!! Joe stop fucking around.”

Don’t worry, Vito eventually comes around to you. He kind of has to now that Joe is riding this thing so hard.

Neither one of them truly believes you though. At least not at first. It’s kind of difficult to prove until the event you’re warning them about actually comes to pass.

You are able to tell them extremely detailed facts and information about themselves and the mafia. You warn them about Henry and give tips about different tasks.

This made them suspicious of you and blew you off as some kind of narc for knowing so damn much. It wasn’t until things started becoming true, they came running right back to you.

They’re both feeling a mixture of excitement, concern and confusion.

Joe doesn’t understand that you only know main historical events and wants you to give him the winning numbers to the lottery.

Vito on the other hand thinks you’re some sort of crazy psychic or maybe one of them aliens from the film he had just seen.

Either way you’re definitely not from here.

Ultimately Vito doesn’t entirely know how to handle all of this. I don’t think anyone would ever be able to fully process this happening. After all you’ve predicted and protected him from, he just accepts that you’re who you say you are.

You’re not a threat to him and Joe seems to really enjoy having you around so I guess he doesn’t really mind you either. He lets you stay at his place too. It’s the least he could do after all your help and the shit he gave.

At least you’re not as bad as that kid, Marty.

[cator99]

I love making phone calls I love sending emails and being overall pleasant to interact with I love looking for solutions and being eager to understand how the world around me operates and to ask people about the role they play in this beautiful world I love being able to tell that other people are excited for any reason at all to strut their shit in this way and I always take notes on how they do it. It's all so funny to me. I am doing this because I am an insane person. I am the best person for the job. I am like the inverse of Jude St Francis. Born in a wet cardboard box doomed fucked in the head and forced to make an accommodation with life BUT I think its cunty and will commit awesomely violent ritual seppuku when my life is at its absolute peak. But yeah I dont get anxiety anymore if I dont like something it I can just thank them for their time and then find a way to leave and literally do anything else no one really cares as long as you do it right and you know like you can just keep looking for better things you literally never know you might turn out to be really passionate about fish mongering and didnt even consider it and it's not always easy but if the alternative is unbearable then fuck it pack a bag and stick your thumb out on the highway and spend 2 hours chatting about life with a fat 60 year old semi truck driver with photos of his happy fatty family plastered over the entirety of his dashboard and who was concerned why some kid was wandering the highway without a jacket and is nothing but totally kind and appropriate towards you which you kind of didnt expect when you hit the road but then you get to the city and go to an orgy party at some xi/xirs apartment who you met while on a psychiatrist-approved leave to attend an LGBT youth summer camp during the tail end of your 4 month stay at a youth mental health/detention facility but you can't stay there because his 40 year old housemate just announced that he's moving to the states and suddenly wouldnt be contributing to next months rent and didn't want to say anything until the night before when his boxes were being actively moved out of the apartment in order to avoid any sort of confrontation and the resulting altercation is heart breaking this 40 year old workig professional gay dude just absolutely betrayed this screwed up teenaged lesbian with no hesitation but maybe the drug fuelled sex parties had something to do with it but im just there stoned watching some tv show about anthropomorphic fast food and xe really did care about me but this was not the time to be pulling some cutesy whimsical runaway shit so we said our goodbyes and xe gave me directions the youth emergency shelter. As far as I was concerned, I was living the dream. This was just the "hard" part. I broke the high score on the ancient tetris machine at the day-shelter and barely ate anything because they relied entirely on donations and for whatever reason nobody thought to donate anything gluten free. I slept in the girls quarters of the cold shelter we were taken to every night, driven in huge vans by the staff at the day shelter. The girls were primarily quiet and didnt want to talk or even look at anyone. Some of the native girls were chill to play board games or watch tv with though. The guys were real rough. Mostly drug addicts. Mostly violent. They were known for treating each other terribly. I was told I could "use whatever rooms or washrooms that align with your gender identity". I told them I'd rather use the room that made me less likely to have me end up raped or my pillow pissed on.

[starabsol]

cs pride headcannons

happy pride month! this is to the gays, lesbians, queers, transgenders, nonbinaries, bisexuals, everyone!!!!! (except homophobes, get away) happy pride month and good job being so fruity! we love u ^_^

ok so basically i have headcanons for my fav pokemon characters, may drew harley n solidad but i never really did much with them but since its literally pride month right now i thought why not draw them? theyre more like chibi attempted weird ass doodles butttttttt

first up, of course, our baby drew.

theres smth about him that just screams transgender.. hes ftm (female to male) since he didnt feel right in his body, but doesnt mind presenting himself in a feminine way. demisexual also because i dont feel like he randomly falls in love with people unless they know them well and have a good bond! and he obviously doesnt care about anyones gender whatsoever, doesnt have a preference either.

he goes by he/they pronouns and would rather not be regarded by feminine names, though he himself doesnt really care about how he appears to others

if someone comes out to drew:

someone: “drew, i have to tell you something.. im lesbian.”

drew: “thats nice”

drew is neutral about this stuff. he simply doesnt mind that much. though inside, secretly, he is pretty proud of whoever comes out to him; he does care.

next up, may!

may is an ally, no doubt. she loves everyone as they are! i debated making her asexual for a hot second, but scrapped it later as i didnt really liked that for her :P

she goes by she/her! she respects everyones pronouns, and if unsure if what pronouns to use she always uses they/them to avoid mis pronouncing. always shows up at pride conventions!

if someone were to come out to may:

someone: “may.. i have to tell you something. im non-binary”

may: “OMG THAT IS SO COOL I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU AND PROUD OF YOU!!!!”

next up, our cunty harley!

hes bisexual and non-binary. he loves both women and men, and simply doesnt give a fuck about (his) gender. he goes by she/he/they pronouns since he really doesnt care what people regard him as. “gender doesnt matter honey!”

he doesnt mind looking feminine or masculine at all, so sometimes u see him skipping around in skirts and the other moment you see him in a suit. and honestly? we love that for him. pop off harley

if someone were to come out to harley:

someone: “hey, harley? can i tell you something? im gay.”

harley: “OOOOOO! so proud of you honey! welcome to the gays!”

and lastly, solidad!

shes a lesbian. i dont care what you have got to say, solidad is a lesbian. she loves women, she loves feminine people. shes also aromantic because i can make her aromantic. she naturally loves platonically, but she can love (and feel) romantically, just not that often.

she herself is also an ally, of course, everyone in these headcanons are, but she is an ally. she supports everyone the way they are, no matter their sexuality, gender, race, background, whatever. she loves everyone. n that goes for may drew and harley also! solidad would probably be the most calm if you were to come out to her, though.

if someone were to come out to solidad:

someone: “solidad? i wanted to tell you that im bisexual..”

solidad: “oh, that’s wonderful! congratulations. i am so proud of you for telling me.”

———————

happy pride month! make sure to love everyone the way they are. love isnt a choice, neither the way you were born or how you feel in your own body! youre good as u are!

im pretty much questioning myself, i mean, im sure im aroace but beside that? no clue. for now id just say im heterosexual, but i havent really fallen for people romantically or sexually so i dont know at all lol

school still isnt over, still have about a month left 💔 i hate the netherlands vacation time so much only 6 weeks for summer break is crazy

[lonestarss]

sumeru boys redesigns + notes

as you may know, i redesigned the sumeru boys a few weeks ago because, as much as i love them to bits, their designs are well. not that great in some areas. also because i wanted to draw them more often without the roadblock of their designs being so complicated. i've mainly been drawing my cyno and tighnari redesigns, but i did also do alhaitham and kaveh, so i thought that i'd show off these redesigns in one post, along with some notes on why i made certain decisions. hope you enjoy!

(pre-note: just so no one gets confused, i also renamed everyone when i did my redesigns, giving tighnari and alhaitham first names and cyno and kaveh last names.)

tighnari ❀

(renamed abdullah al-tighnari; tighnari was made his surname because that was the case for the real guy he was based on)

i went into this thinking "how can i make this design more appealing to me while still retaining what the original design meant?". since tighnari is one of my favorites in the game overall, i put a lot of pressure on myself to make a decent design.

a lot of tighnari's design inspiration comes from moroccan (specifically amazigh) culture, which i kept in my mind through most of the drawing. this inspiration shows in his bead necklace (i forget the name), his belt, and his earring, which i remade to mirror the shape of moroccan headpieces.

gave him some muscles because there's no way a guy with his job wouldn't have them. also a bottom-heavy fat distribution for self-indulgent purposes.

the design has less layers and lighter/flowier clothes because of tighnari's canon sensitivity to heat. if you're living in the rainforest (a famously humid biome), you probably wouldn't be wearing what canon tighnari does, heat sensitivity or not.

gave him some traits that are popular headcanons, such as the flower thigh tattoo, the sharp teeth, the scars, the claw-like nails (with the middle and ring nails filed down for No Reason), and the lichtenberg figure. also gave him tan skin and wavy hair because i Cannot deal with canon nari looking like that.

sturdy shoes! archery gloves! his vision on his belt! quality of life features that an actual forest ranger would have!

i will admit that the slit pants, the shorts, and the tights were all for self-indulgence reasons, but i think they go together well with the rest of the outfit too.

a braid in his hair for cynari marriage purposes. (i hc that in sumeru, marriages are consummated by braiding each other's hair)

kaveh ❂

(renamed kaveh laghmani; surname is of iranian origin, but i forgot the meaning)

another real quick note: if i change a character's pronouns in their rewrite, i'll be using those pronouns in their notes. here, kaveh goes by he/she pronouns (she just like me fr).

his canon design is actually my favorite of the sumeru boys, so this redesign was more of a simplification while still keeping the original color scheme and such.

from my research, kaveh's mainly inspired by persian/iranian culture. this is what i had in mind with her shirt and her jacket... shawl... thing. idk what to call it.

kept him a skinny twink; imo, her being a twink in canon fits pretty well.

emphasized the bird of paradise motif with the thing on her side looking like feathers. you will see this again with alhaitham.

made him brunet for more cohesion with the color palette, also because i don't like the whole blonde-fading-to-brown situation he has going on in his canon design.

flowers!!! also giving him a pretty headpiece bc this guy is flashy. also also keeping the feather, it's cunty and fun.

i wanted to make kaveh obviously gnc/genderqueer without going into full-on feminine outfit territory. you can tell she's not quite cis but it's not super in your face yk?

made his vision one of his earrings like yae miko because i forgot to give it a proper place in my concept drawings lmao

quality of life feature: actual artist gloves that aren't cut off. seriously, them being fingerless in the canon design completely negates the point of artist gloves.

removed his braids because of the aforementioned marriage headcanon.

alhaitham ⚘

(renamed amir al-haytham; i wanted to give him the most basic name possible, though i fought with myself a lot on whether to write it as al-haitham or al-haytham)

my god i despise his canon design. it's so... not him. my goal with a redesign was just to give him an outfit that made sense for his character because jesus his canon design is an atrocity.

alhaitham is mainly inspired by either saudi arabian or general west asian culture (like what's constant and such). i was mainly inspired by casual saudi arabian menswear when i was designing him.

hot take but i don't like alhaitham being buff in canon. i made him chubby/fat in my redesign mainly for self-indulgent reasons, but also because it makes more sense to me. also gave him facial hair because yes

kept his color scheme mostly the same, along with the eye motif. emphasized the eagle motif slightly with the feather hip piece (see: kaveh's redesign).

gave him a headscarf (not a hijab or anything like that, just a regular headscarf) because he felt like the type, plus i got the design idea for it and went "well i can't not include it now".

wanted to give him the vibes of an npc who was forced to be a main character

no he isn't wearing his vision anywhere, he doesn't carry it around in my rewrite.

quality of life features: more sensible, looser clothes that are easier to live in- really the whole design is meant to be a quality of life improvement first and foremost

cyno ⚡︎

(renamed cyno al-sahrawi; surname meaning is "of the sahara" or more generally, "of the desert")

like kaveh, i'm gonna be using he/they pronouns for cyno here because that's what i put in my rewrite.

in my opinion, cyno's design is relatively solid, but with a few glaring flaws that kinda ruin everything for me. i'll bring them up as these notes go on.

they're very obviously inspired by ancient egyptian culture, specifically anubis. like, it's very blatant. with my redesign, i wanted to keep those inspirations in mind while making the outfit less stereotypical and make more sense.

why does this man, who's said to fight a lot, not wear a shirt? why are you letting the place where most of your vital organs reside breathe freely? also, why does this guy not have scars?

simplified a bunch of patterns, especially below the belt and with his headpiece. also made their helmet(?) a darker, more saturated purple to attract your eyes' attention to it.

gave him eye of horus makeup for a little cultural nod

the black piece in the back was made to look like a tail to further the jackal thing.

curly hair that resembles lightning bolts <3

the shoes were inspired by traditional egyptian footwear, because if this guy is out in the desert all the time, i'm not letting him go without some kind of foot protection.

quality of life features: a bit of armor on his arm (partially for aesthetic purposes), less flowy bits on his helmet and hips to prevent distraction or getting caught on things, the aforementioned shoes

added braids for cynari purposes, because i'm me.

hope you enjoyed reading this! please keep in mind that this is all off the top of my head and doesn't even go into color theory, how the designs mirror each other, and other smaller things like that. i might make a part 2 someday going into those things, but who knows with my memory lmao

reblogs are heavily appreciated!

[thornswoggled]

you know what it is. 106 stream of consciousness. lets go

WOW ok just by the thumbnail alone im surprised. i did NOT think we were gonna get to see the rest of hildas scene with lindel so soon. like i had no earthly clue where this chapter was going to start up

chapter title lindel feels very reminiscent of ch1 "future chise" illus

"misery makes strange bedfellows." hmmmm. all small caps too for some reason

yamazaki prepping us to view lindel as a secondary antagonist by drawing his face in shadow like every other frame

ARE THOOOOOOSE FUCKIIIIING DWAAAAARRVES????????? HELLOOOOOOO???????

why did we not meet these thangs the first two times they went to iceland. maybe she decided to add a little spice

oh my god missing subtitles. literal empty bubbles. comicgrowl needs to be dealt with. severely

more talk of eggs and chicks. which could mean nothing

looking at the slider.... this is another slightly longer chapter. huge for a guy like me

OMG we get to see what happened that time rahab summoned them oooooooooo

lindels shirt in this scene is really cunty. sorry. who said that

"this is the 2000s era" ok so we are still playing coy with what year it is. probably a good idea

"my first time meeting the current you." so yamazaki is weaving in the concept that rahab can meet people on different parts of their timeline. which feels a little op and a good deus ex for conflict resolution but thats my own personal beef with timeline fuckery as a plot device

wadda hell. this dragon hatched fully fledged like a damn bulnosaur

ohhhh this dragon is the one flying behind lindel in that one color spread for arc 3. the one i captioned with "whatever. go my dragon"

adolfs protestation about magic is like. yes. i agree. because tamb does not have a robust magic system and its attempts to form a solid action-based plot are largely impotent, which is FINE, we are here for character development anyway. i once made a webcomic with the same problems so i dont mean to throw stones in glass houses but like. yeah the distinction between mages and alchemists and how magic works is not something i have ever been sold on

great callback to chise summoning those wasps in arc 1. i enjoy seeing a scene from the early chapters reimagined in the modern art style. tangent, but in the supplements the note for that scene was something like "chise has never seen this kind of bug in real life so she probably remembered it from a nature documentary"

pokemon-ass messaging here. fucking catch em all

just now noticing the twins got their hair swoop from hilda

"i managed to avoid lying." i was about to ask how exactly he lied but then skipped ahead and read the answer whoops

lindel hurrying hilda out the door but he doesnt even know what she came here for yet. like she didnt get to tell him about the red dragon yet LOL

im also just now realizing that the dragon we saw at the end of 105 was the dragon adolf hatched and not the dragon that cursed chise. ok 🧍‍♂️

"they even forbade me from speaking my language" so i think lindel is implying here that hes part of the sámi people which tracks. i wonder if they were speaking one these languages when he met elias? i still dont know why lindel bothered to ask where elias came from when he could have inferred it from whatever language he spoke

adolf explicitly states that he left germany before ww2 which i think was very funny on yamazakis part (DO NOT GET IT TWISTED, she said, HE IS NOT A NAZI) but at the same time. why was he fleeing british soldiers. maybe they just assumed he was a nazi cuz of his name and accent. idk

ok so its time to go back to school already. silky being convinced that theyll be stuck there for months again is. so funny

"do you think we can ask the college to send letters for us" what do you mean by that. does the college not give you the means to send mail. are you expected to just use the royal mail. why arent you using royal mail anyway. hello

ok so she stomps on the floor and a new door springs up. it looks like an exterior door based on the lock. is this a sort of uhhhh howls moving castle/witch hat atelier windowway sort of situation. is silky going to break into the college so she doesnt have to miss her kid. she looks so stupidly nefarious i know the reason she looks so creepy is going to be funny as fuck

so overall i cant say that lindel and adolf are my fav characters or that i am terribly invested in them so i dont feel i got a TON out of this chapter but i am excited with the last page we got. happy for the lindel enjoyers and the lore dump yall got. i guess im not sure what purpose this new dragon is serving either because its (probably) not related to red vs white dragon conflict. i guess you could say that its a third dragon that emphasizes the importance of choosing your own path rather than being locked in this fated cyclical battle the way the red and white dragons are, which would be in line with tambs greater themes. like a third choice, i guess. adolf is also shaping up to be in a similar position to chise - that is, he has a unique relationship with magic, and his master has to lie for him so he wont be unduly researched lol. i am interested to see how much time we will see chise actually studying or being in class considering all the other things shes now expected to be responsible for. her ass is not studying 💯💯💯

[yakumtsaki]

We're back for the last update before Barflina fucks off to college! This is one giant update I have to split in 2 parts them thanks to the liferuining new 30 pics limit, I will post part 2 right after this one. I don't mean to be dramatic but the universe cannot contain my hatred for the new post editor. At least I have Wendi looking all cute and regal.

-I will NEVER have kittens with Shinok, I hate him and his stupid, not coordinated grey leg coloring!

What?? WHO CARES

-I care, look at my beautiful cohesive coat! His genes would ruin it and our kids would be freaks!

-Jimbo, on the other hand, is a perfect specimen! Now that's a good addition to my gene pool!

Jimbo, the leopard print, custom slider freakshow DOG is a perfect specimen for you, Wendi the CAT. I'm starting to suspect you're a cross-species perv and Shinnok's legs aren't the problem here.

-Shut it! Leave that elderly deer bitch Veronica, Jim, and run away with me!

-Oh Wendi, I don't know, it seems wrong..

-I hear you, baby, but maybe it's so wrong.. it's right?

-KEEP YOUR SLUTTY PERVERTED WIFE AWAY FROM MY MAN, SHINNOK

-HOW AM I THE ONE GETTING BEAT UP I HATE THIS HOUSE I HATE MY LIFE

-I'M RUNNING AWAY AND NEVER COMING BACK, YOU CAN KISS THE CAT LEGACY GOODBYE!!!

10 seconds later:

-Ok I'm back, just in time for my birthday!

Happy birthday, Shinnok, your present is your dad dying at the exact same time. WTF @ game timing.

-Daddy no!

-I'm off to join your mother in cat heaven, Shinnok!

-But Mom hated you!

-Oh right she did, well she's probably in Hell anyway. Guard those mismatched grey legs you got from me, they are my legacy!

-I will Dad! I will!!

RIP Klaus, you were a sweetheart, I'm sorry you had to mate with Kitana💔

Xander and Sandy are each other's fav and Sandy is constantly late for work because she's fucking around playing with him. I'd like to remind you guys that I've been trying to get her to the top of the culinary career since SOPHITO AND SUGAR WERE CHILDREN

-B̷U̴T ̸I ̷L̷O̷V̴E̵ XA̴N̸D̵E̶R̵🧟‍♀️

Will you get your zombie ass to work, Xander will be here when you come back!

NEVER MIND. WHY CAN'T THIS GAME SPACE OUT THE PET DEATHS A LITTLE GOOD GOD.

RIP Xander, you were the best dog we've had so far, you were so good and loyal and kept running into fires with your dumbass owners. I'll miss you💔

-I ̴D̶I̵D̶ ̶I̷T, I F̷I̸N̷A̴L̷L̶Y̵ ̵D̴I̸D̵ ̶I̸T̶! W̴H̵E̷R̷E̵'̸S̶ M̵Y ̸D̵O̷G̷ ̴BA̷B̷Y🧟‍♀️

Sandy I'm so happy for you, and also I'd like to talk to you about the law of equivalent exchange.

Could it be that there are too many people in this house?? Could it??? I'm starting to feel it's possible.

OH FFS, VERONICA

AWWWW they have Jimbo's spots, so cute! God this lot is gonna explode.

SO CUTE. MY HEART

Time for Liz's cucky birthday party with no guests because I'm already tempting fate with this lot.

-Thank you, balloons, for protecting the viewing public from Failina's face. -This face has been making out with Meadow Thayer while you're getting rejected by the Tricou Don clones. -SHUT UP I'LL KILL YOU -Can I blow my candles now? -Not yet, Mom, I'm not done bringing up Barf's humiliating dating failures.

Please go ahead, Liz, and also where the hell is your husband.

-Playing catch with Sugar.

Of course he is.

-Happy birthday to me!

Do you feel any different, other than this awful outfit that I'm changing asap?

-Now that you mention it I do..

-..I feel the inexplicable need to fight with my 100yo mother-in-law despite the fact we're friends!

Liz wtf WHY

-There can only be one cunty matriarch around here and it is I! And also I'm a way better lawyer than you ever were! Now let me just get my makeover-

-So I can berate you some more!

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING. Liz wtf is your problem??? It's literally like a switch flipped as soon as she aged up, what on earth.

-I EAT LITTLE 60YOS LIKE YOU FOR BREAKFAST, BITCH

She does, Liz, she really does. You come at the queen, you best not miss! But I still don't get why this feud erupted out of nowhere??

Oh my God.. IT'S BARFLINA. We have the quite possibly first case in history where it isn't the adults exposing the children to violence and setting abusive patterns, it's the other way around!!! YOU TWO ARE TEARING THIS FAMILY APART, EVEN SHAJAR AND HER 1 NICE POINT ARE HORRIFIED -GOOD, THIS FAMILY CAN GO TO HELL!!! FROM ITS ASHES MY NEW DYNASTY WILL RISE -SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOUR DYNASTY ALREADY -YOU'LL NEVER HAVE A DYNASTY BECAUSE NO ONE WILL EVEN DATE YOU -THEY SO WILL AND THEY'LL BE BETTER THAN YOUR BIMBO -TAKE HER NAME OUT OF YOUR GROSS MISSHAPEN MOUTH -WE HAVE THE SAME MOUTH, MORON -YA BUT MINE HAS BEEN KISSED, INCEL -I'LL KILL YOU -I'LL KILL YOU MORE

-Dad, someone will date me, right?? -Of course they will, son! You'll be a hoe, like your dad was before you! -But no one wants to date me! You had 50 first dates, I clearly get my genes from you but not the success! -Well, you'll have to relax and play it cool. You come across a little neurotic and/or psychotic. You get that from your mom. -You're right, Dad, I won't call the matchmaker until I'm as relaxed as one of those pimples chilling on Failina's gross oily forehead!

-Ah, nothing more relaxing than a nice, hot cup of tea..

-..with the view of Uncle Sugar setting Sandy's spine back in place. -I̸T FE̵L̸L ̴O̸F̷F🧟‍♀️ -Ok, I'm ready for my date!

See you in part 2, coming right up!

[natequarter]

could you do thomas?

favourite thing about them: he's literally the saddest sluttiest dead whiny poet in the world and i think he needs a good fingering. in the wound, obviously

least favourite thing about them: the writers never allow him to grow out of his obsession with alison, and right into the finale he's still in the same fucking obsession. he barely gets to be explored. he gets the thomas thorne affair and he gets to grow in other ways but he is never allowed to escape what is turned into the defining element of his character. in the finale he reverts into his one-note early series one self and it's just... so tiring

favourite line: "and how you dies - died!" it tells you a lot about thomas in multiple ways - how he takes the very literal statement of being stuck physically on the grounds and makes a somewhat false assumption about the nature of the afterlife, how he mimics the people around him but garners no genuine love and support for it because they all just ignore him, how he reaches out to alison to attempt to impress her - and also that he looks at ghosthood from a very poetic perspective; they are stuck there and that's deep, man. probably. somehow

brOTP: humphrey! i think there's genuine room for thomas to connect... or have character development... or be allowed to change... my other one would be mary but obviously she's gone now

OTP: the captain. and they were both bottoms!

nOTP: kitty

random headcanon: he's scottish. wait, the show has covered that one? alright, he was the younger brother and he was never expected to a) inherit or b) do anything meaningful and grand with his life, hence why he's allowed to run around being a gaudy disaster and also why isabelle's father disapproves of the match

unpopular opinion: it literally is that deep. he has one of the most traumatic deaths. not that you can rank trauma, but besides mary, he definitely had the worst fate. he was brutally manipulated by francis and his own foolish arrogance and then tricked into believing he was unloved, and died to find a group of people who also did not give a shit and mocked his death. hamlet acting out his insanity to an unfeeling audience, here was go again

song i associate with them: grace kelly by mika. i think he'd like upbeat 2000s and especially early 2010s pop in general but grace kelly is particularly fitting for him i think. am i too dirty am i too flirty do i like what you like etc etc

favourite picture of them: his flamboyant armchair pose which i can't describe but has unbelievable cunty flair. you know the one

(link)

[noforkingclue]

Hi, I saw your open requests and wanted to know if you can do a The Boys one. This might be long...

Imagine an unknown or known supe with the power to control emotions. They manifest tranquility and joy or induce anxiety and panic attacks onto people (you can lower the intensity if that’s too much). They have a scene where they interact with the boys. This can be an x Homelander since they would be able to control his emotions.

-“You can hate me but you’ll be so happy to see me.”

Extra: [They work at Vought as someone who’s able to get close to the supes. They don’t really like the Seven much and try to cause as much issues as possible.]

Note: requests are currently closed

So the Homelander relationship is kinda in the background with this fic. It more focuses on the reader and Butcher talking.

Title: Devious Plans

Warnings: implied forced relationship

The Boys tag list: @captainofmybigwetdream, @scraftskhu35, @zannemes, @holy-minseok

Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary, @byebyebreezywrites, @spngingerbread21, @layazul, @lov3vivian, @simonsbluee

“What? Edgar doesn’t want to get his hands bloody so he sends one of his fucking cunty minions to do his dirty work for him?”

You looked over at the man who joined you at the bar. He rested his elbows on the counter and you gestured to the bartender to get him a drink. You studied Butcher intently as you took a sip of your own drink. When a whiskey was finally placed in front of him you said,

“Mr Edgar is busy.”

“Heard that one too many times, love.”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me.”

Butcher downed his drink in one and immediately it was replaced. He eyed the drink suspiciously and you said,

“Don’t worry. I haven’t poisoned it.”

“If you wanted me dead I’d be dead already.”

You wrinkled your nose saying,

“Bit cliché. I’m not a fan of clichés.”

“Then why are you here you stupid fucking-“

“Hey,” you smiled and put a hand on his shoulder, “Calm down. This anger isn’t very good for your blood pressure.”

You could feel Butcher relax under your grip. He frowned slightly before quickly ripping his arm out from under yours.

“You’re a supe.” He spat

“Took you long enough.”

You finished your drink and another was immediately put in front of you.

“So why the fuck are you here?” snapped Butcher

“Just to make sure that you’re doing what we want.”

“Bullshit.”

“Oh?”

“Look love,” Butcher leaned closer, “You work for fucking Vought. You’re just like the rest of them.”

You slammed your glass down and took a deep breath. Butcher grinned at the crack in your mask and you said,

“I am not like them.”

“Evidence says otherwise.”

“Maybe I’m here because I hate them just as much as you.”

“Why are you here.”

“Because I want to see them burn.”

You ran a hand over your face and said quietly,

“The power to control emotions is incredibly useful. Especially when you’re prize superhero is a mentally unstable homicidal maniac.”

Butcher burst out laughing. You raised your eyebrows at him but waited until he had stopped. Butcher rested against the bar and said,

“So Edgar fucking uses you. He whores you out to placate Homelander.”

“That’s a very crude way of putting it.”

“It’s the truth though.”

“Hmm.”

“So what do you want me to do.”

“What Mr Edgar wants.”

“And why the fuck should I do that?”

“Because then we get what we both want.”

“Which is?”

“Homelander dead.”

Butcher’s expression turned stony and you smiled. You had him. He wanted that cunt dead just as much as you did. You finished your drink and hopped off the barstool.

“It was a pleasure speaking to you Mr Butcher. I’ll be in touch.”

“No you fucking won’t.”

“Really?”

“Best if we don’t see each other again.”

“And why is that?”

“Because if I do, I fucking kill you.”

“Because I’m a supe cunt?”

“Exactly.”

“Oh Mr Butcher,” you patted his cheek mockingly, “You can hate me all you want but next time, you’ll be so happy to see me.”

Butcher tried to move but you quickly removed all violent thoughts. His eyes narrowed when he realised what you had done and just how powerless he was against you.

“Be seeing you.” You said as you left the bar

[flamingskull28]

4 admired the new outfit she donned in the mirror. It was 8's old metro outfit and honestly, 4 really liked the look. Sure it was a bit tight around her chest and waist but tye leather was oddly comfortable, she wondered why 8 didn't.... well scratch that given the weight the metro had put on her girlfriends it made sense that 8 wouldn't wear the outfit.

"Ooo, maybe she won't mind if I keep it then.." 4 pondered, it would be easy to just take it but she figured it wouldn't hurt to ask. Maybe see if 8 and 3 liked the look.

Exciting the bathroom, 4 made a point to strut down the hall. It felt right given the outfit, she really hoped 3 and 8 liked it because she wanted to wear this more often.

Reaching their shared room 4 pushed open the door without revealing herself. Inside 8 and 3 were audiblely chatting away, seemingly about fashion contently.

"4 is that you? You can come in you know, we don't bite.... mostly." 3 remarked jokingly, 4 still has the scar from the time 8 got a bit.... excited while her 4 were making out... Not that she minded.

"Yeah it's me, I got an outfit I want your opinions on." 3 and 8 both gave their go ahead.

4 made sure to do as cunty a walk as she could manage, made only slightly difficult by the heels, as she walked into her girlfriends line of sight. Striking a small pose for extra effect.

"So, whatca think?~" 4 flashed a toothy grin to match her flirtatious tone. "I found it in our closet and..... uh." She paused and scanned her girlfriends faces.

Both their faces shinned brightly with a deep blush in their respective ink colors and their mouths were agape in awe.

"Uh..." 4 suddenly felt a lot more self conscious, her face beginning to match 3 and 8's blushs. Did they not like it? W-Was it that bad on her? 4 rubbed her arm nervously feelong overly self conscious out of nowhere. "Is... is it that bad? S-Should I take it off?"

"N-NO!" 3 and 8 yelled simultaneously, faces somehow blushing deeper.

8 cleared her throat "I-I.. you l-look very good in it... cod you look s-stunning.." the last part didn't seem to leave her mouth willingly, more so like a 'holy squit I need to keep my cool why is she so hot' slip of the beak.

3 picked her jaw from off the floor as well "Y-YEAH.... you look... hot i-in it..."

4 felt most if her self consciousness leave seeing her girlfriends utterly flabbergasted and fully in gay panic mode. A giggle escaped her lips. "Oh? I'm sure you wouldn't mind if I kept it then?"

They both nodded with eyes firmly on her, she took a seat between them. 8 seemed to ignore all her self consciousness and squeezed 4's arm muscles being fully infatuated.

4 pulled both them in, giving a kiss atop their heads. She loved her girlfriends, even if they were both gay losers.... not that she could judge being a gay loser herself...