#'well im still able to do the basic thing i need to do so i'll just live like this'

[restinpeacesensei]

@thatlittledandere​

I NEED TO START PROOFREADING MY SHIT yes it WAS supposed to say soft and here and WHAT a beautiful place;; Well done translating my gibberish to regular language shhzvgs. Kinshiro's face hate I swear to god... 

HAJVGHKJFGS TBF whatever face hate is, kinshirou was probably experiencing it for most of season 1 LMAOOO;;; thank you for confirming i translated correctly akvhsfgds!! AND DW the last fic i wrote (in a rare burst of effort to explain the baby kinchan thing like a week ago..) i swear i was rush scanning the internet spellchecker for errors as i was posting it and i was STILL finding stuff like “Kinshhirou” and “arouind” every time i scrolled back over it havjshd

im normally able to spell the words i use everyday but i write stuff like this longhand and then type it up, so im looking at the paper when i type it and don’t actually glance at the screen till later. i honestly had one sentence where my hands must have gotten slightly misaligned with the keyboard and it was just genuine keysmash gibberish that i had to retype ha;jvksghd i was checking the whole thing for that stuff as i was rushing to post it before running out the door like. proofreading by the skin of my teeth a;kvjhsgd (im sorry to let you all know this is how i write)

[autisticfaun420]

My life with level 2 (part 1)

I'm making this post to share some things about my life and give an idea about what my support needs are

1. Every morning I wake up sealed in my cubby bed, an enclosed bed that keep me trapped inside so I dont wander and hurt myself or roll out and have a meltdown (common things that happen with me and regular beds). It's also soft so I don't potentially bang my head against something hard. you're probably wondering well how do I go to the bathroom at night. That brings me to my next point.

2. Every morning after opening up my cubby bed either my mom, dad, caregiver, or occasional close friend takes me to my changing station in my room and begins to change my diaper. Thats right I was NEVER able to potty train and due to EXTREME sensory issues I am unable to change myself. This means I need constant super vision as I always need someone to change me, also calm me down if meltdown, etc. I simply have no way to tell I need to go, 1 or 2, till its much too late. So yeah diapers are an all day thing not just at night.

3. I'm older then 20 and my parents are l now my legal guardians for life, and if they can't do it I have friends that will step up. I'm not sure exactly what this means legally but I take it to mean Im basically still a kid to them on like, every level. They respect my intelligence but they still set the rules. One that always kind of gets people mad but then they understand is the fact that I have child safety internet settings on my tablet and phone, I can't access most social media websites and I'm not alliowed YouTube only YouTube Kids. This is because my parents and close friends agree that these teenage boys from a nearby town were trying to make me an "lol cow", basicallly a target for online harassment and bullying and trolling me because I was special needs and active on social media. Tumblr with my parents having the username and password and log ins and they check it every day is all I get. My friends and parents show me things from TikTok and Youtube that they think i'll like so I don't miss out. Oh yeah and I would binge watch horror and terror content on youtube, something that a lot of autistic people do apparently, however I mentally can't handle it. I wake up and freak out and hit myself all night and lose sleep for a week and end up in a mental hospital cause I'm hurting myself and not sleeping. Not fun... at all. I had unrestricted internet access as a teenager and I'm glad that part of my life is over. My parents do however let me eat cannabis edibles every day so its not like they're over protective, just protective in the way I need.

4. My parents are my emotional coregulators and I rely on them heavily, a lot of the time just to know how I'm feeling. I break down emotionally frequently and if my parents or a select few of my friends aren't there to cuddle me and rub my back the right way, I FREAK out and start hitting myself cause my brain is a bit nutty I guess. I'm needy with those I love to a rediculous degree. I'm a lot better, still not great, at self soothing. Self soothing is an oxymoron for me. I kinda need to be with somebody to be told to calm down, encouraged to come out my shell, praised when I do something good, and just having a hand to hold. My mom is rubbing my back encouraging me to write this out like I said I wanted to do.

5. I need to stim, constantly. I'm always rocking, fidget toy and plushie in hand chewing on my chewing laynyard, you get the idea. I also need audio and visual stims which I get in the form of watching bright colorful little kid shows on my tablet like Blues Clues and Daniel Tiger. I think this is why people don't think I'm smart but its just who I am and what my needs are.

I think this is a good starting point, I'll make a part 2 later.

[cherryfennec]

So this was originally supposed to have a kickass artwork of the bros using the power- up and stuff but then I got sick and then I realised Im out of time and here we are so uh hieee everyone and welcome to my post-

Happy MAR10 Day! For the occasion, let's go back to the (not discussed in a long time) Power-Up headcanons. This time I'll focus on the Ice Flower (most of the lore under cut like last time)!

This was surprisingly requested by some (3) people. I'm going to be honest, I barely remembered this one at first. I kinda know how it looks and generally what it does, which will have to be enough to base this entire thing on. With that being said, I did some thinking and here's what I've got:

General headcanons;

This one has difficulty surviving outside of it's original environment. If you want to keep a batch in the house your best bet is to use the fridge/freezer, otherwise it looses both it's blue look and the stored energy. See, the Ice Flower originally wasn't (and still technically isn't) it's own flower species. Let me elaborate:

Nowadays the conditions there are not as harsh, however a rather long time ago travelers heading towards places like the Snow Mountain needed to be both be specially trained and very well equipped to even attempt a climb. A heat source was a big must, and it so happens that it often consisted of Fire Flowers. They'd put some in their coats to keep warm, as well as store a few in the backpack just in case they needed to protect themselves from monsters. When setting camp during their journeys these hikers would use the Power-Ups energy to start fires and cook food. After the flowers were depleted of their energy and entered their hibernation stage (I talked about it in my Fire Flower post), they would be simply thrown away like trash. Waiting for them to recharge was often not beneficial, especially in conditions like this, so there was ultimately no point in keeping them. However like I mentioned before, Fire Flowers are very adaptable, which actually wasn't that known at the time. Instead of wilting, these stubborn plants would try gathering energy like the usual, but since it was very cold and direct sunlight was limited, they decided to collect something else. While not all flowers made it, a few managed to amass the eminating frost and turn it into a new kind of energy which proved to be enough for their survival. With time even their petal colour changed to blueish hues. And thus the Fire Flowers in the area became Ice Flowers and over the years started populating the mountains and snowfields.

The Ice Flower is a multiple use Power-Up in theory but more often than not you'll find yourself without a place to freeze it after using one. If it's not placed in a cold environment during it's hibernation it'll either die or, more uncommonly, simply revert back to being a Fire Flower after a long process.

Mario and Luigi specific headcanons;

While the idea of being able to freeze stuff sounded cool it wasn't very fun to learn.

In Marios case imagine: you're good at something, really, REALLY good at something. Okay great, now imagine being told that your knowledge doesn't matter because now you need to do the opposite of what you've learned. Back with the theme of "elements don't mix", Mario absolutely hated how much effort he needed to put into focusing the newfound energy to barely make a tiny projectile. Even before he got the Firebrand he had enough difficulty with it, so it only got worse from there. This was one of the rare times where learning the bare basics instead of mastering a Power-Up was enough for him.

Luigi didn't really mind. The main complications came more from the vague instructions he received during training rather than his own inability. Suprisingly or not the Thunderhand didn't make this one much of a pain either, I guess anomalies attract eachother. While he doesn't consider this Power-Up as a favourite he still finds it pretty fun that he can freeze and walk on water. Did you know, he used to be pretty good at skating in high school. If you didn't he'll make sure to bring it up at a given occasion. Back to ice powers, he definitely outdoes his brother on this one, even if not by much.

There's probably one more thing I should mention. Despite the contrary belief the Ice Flower does NOT increase ones tolerance to cold temperatures. To be frank it might even decrease it by lowering the bodys natural temperature, making the chances of frostbite higher. And so, they learned it the hard way.

In conclusion, this is more of a situational Power-Up. It's neither easy to find or preserve which can be annoying but despite all this it's hard to deny that it's ultimately a useful tool.

Few bonus headcanons!

I don't know how much sense I conveyed through my broken wording and less than average writing skills but it's not that shabby if I say so myself. Just like last time some details might change in the future but for now that's the general idea that I have considering the Ice Flower. Once again thank you to whoever took the time to read this!

[wolvertooth]

what if, victor, logan and wade were all boyfreinds, all three cant die so they said fuck it

here u go anon. the 1st piece of sabes n wolvie fanart i ever drew(back in july 2023) after rewatching hulk vs wolverine, feat. deadpool(not my 1st wade, we had quite the history in highschool)

i think my brain is so gripped by sabrevine that it cant think of them being with anyone else.....but i'll give it a shot. for wades sake.

i do see them all as post weapon x survivor besties. and immortality homies.

wade is basically an honorary feral type, since he literally shares his dna with logans. wades an odd case, due his killer instinct being...natural. in a human way. he was born with the urge to kill n maim. which is different, but im sure they'd get to a point to trust him enough to wanna chat about it.

wade n logan would bond over their psychosis, even tho being fairly different experiences. i can see them also having a lotta smoke hangouts while logan just listens to wade rant

vic n wade would bond over their shitty dads, and also talk about being dads. as well as their merc lives and heavy knowledge of killing(infodump sesh on weapons)

all of them would bond over their memory problems.

group therapy would be a thing. calling out eachothers bullshit. problem with that being that logan would get ganged up on pretty frequently, and thatd piss him off....all 3 of them hate being told theyre in the wrong, logan getting frustrated by it the most. seriously, logan gets picked on a ton by these guys and thatd be something they’d need to sort out lol(maybe he enjoys the attention sometimes tho)

i kinda wish they showed more of wade n vic being buddies in the comics, since it was mostly in deadpool 2016 issues 8 - 12, showing when they used to work together and how theyre still sorta pals…..

i think both logan n vic see wade as someone they should take care of, mostly from the standpoint of having some age on him. bit like a younger brother. that does make wade kinda the odd one out, but hes got other lovers in his life at least(is his wife still alive? i havent caught up on the comics since like 2016)

they all share the burden of being cursed to forever deal with their fucked up brains, never being able to escape who they are, and that can make for some good sleepover conversations ig. like, its not even a lovers thing, its a ‘ur the fuckers im forced to spend eternity with, and even tho we all have in common the shit we hate about ourselves, im glad its with u’ type of thing

oh and theyre all pain junkies so u know the sex is freakyyyyyy

[thecordelialetters]

The Bionic and the Ballerina Pt.4

wc:1,994

Chase Davenport x fem!reader

warning: suggestive prompts, sexual tension.

“You have bewitched me, body and soul.” -Mr. Darcy

Pt1 Pt2 Pt3

Days had passed since the "I love you" incident, and Chase avoided you like the plague. Each time you tried to talk to him, he'd run away. Even in class, he would move seats when you tried to sit next to him. You even tried to enlist the help of Adam, Bree, and Leo with no such luck. You looked at the missing seat at your lunch table as if it were calling to your guilt. Feeling tired of beating around the bush, you slammed your hands on the table, alerting your friends. "Okay, guys, I can't do this anymore. Chase can't keep avoiding me." Adam laughed. Well, what he did was super embarrassing. I'm surprised he's still at this school!" You glared at the tall boy. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a familiar blue plaid shirt and rushed from your seat out the door. "Chase! Wait please!" The minute you called his name he was running. You followed, sprinting past every student carelessly bumping into a few. You finally caught up to him and threw yourself against him, gripping his elbow and pinching his skin. "Ouch!" He yelled while rubbing his arm. You breathed out heavily, "I'm sorry but Chase you need to talk to me. We need to talk about what happened."

He rolled his eyes, "Nothing happened I made a mistake, I was overwhelmed by the dance and the music I just blurted it out." Unable to hide your disappointment the scowl on Chase's face wiped completely off. You turned your gaze to your shoes and sighed. "Look Chase, If that...kiss meant nothing to you that's fine. But it meant something to me. I don't just get involved with anyone." Your throat started to feel tight. Chase motioned to speak but you held your hand out, "I really like...I really liked you." Trying to keep your composure you turned and ran away weaving through people. You could hear Chase call after you but to be honest you weren't in a talking mood anymore.

Bree called you that night to talk about what happened. "Oh (y/n) he's just an idiot boy. An idiot that really likes you, that can't shut up about you half the time." Currently, half a pint down of strawberry and cheesecake ice cream you stuffed the spoon in and wiped the tears from your eyes. "Then why did he say that to me?" You frowned at the memory of Chase basically rejecting you. "You know guys say stupid things when they don't think. He was just nervous about being rejected by you." Bree sighed before continuing, "Look, you're a solid 10, and anyone would be lucky to even get close to you. He's just a dork with no experience with girls, and as terrible as it sounds, he probably feared rejection so much that he wanted to end things first." Bree knew Chase messed up, in the back of her mind she was a little happy thinking she could have you back. The way you made her feel made her...question some things. She shook her head at the thought, Chase liked you first, it was only fair. "Look, we're going to the beach tomorrow, come." You hesitated, "I don't know if he wants me there..." "He will trust me. And if not at least this is the chance to show him what he's missing." She countered. You thought for a moment before looking at your closet and picking out a little piece you haven't worn in a while. "You're right, I won't let him ruin my fun. I'll see you tomorrow!" She squealed with excitement.

You were walking on the boardwalk waiting for Bree when you noticed caramel brown hair in the distance. Excited to see your friend you ran over giving her a hug. "Bree! Im so excited this is going to be so fun." She gave you a once over. You were wearing a black string bikini top that was a size too small emphasizing your chest as your tanned skin glistened in the summer heat. On the bottom, you wore short jean shorts that were definitely not past your fingertips. Bree brazenly drooled, "Damn girl...Uh Chase will not be able to take his eyes off you." You lowered your sunglasses and winked at the girl, "Just as planned." Next thing you know Leo comes swaggering next to you, "Hey baby how you doing?" You deadpanned and turned to him, "Leo...it's me (y/n)."

He jumped back, "(y/n) damn look at you. Wait till-" He was cut off by someone shouting your name. Adam with a goofy grin on his face walked up with Chase trailing behind.

Chase turned to look at you, begging his eyes to stop trailing down your well-maintained frame. He looked down and clenched his jaw. He began rambling in his mind, trying to think of anything else that might distract him from you.

A soft hand touched his arm, "Hi Chase." He looked up and greeted you back before Adam shoved him out of the way causing him to knock into a large man. "Watch where you're going!" he barked. Ignoring him Adam strolled up to you giving you a once over, "Wow y/n you are looking fine, capital F-I-O-N-E." You chucked and rolled your eyes at the oldest Davenport's antics.

Before you could get another word out Bree turned to scold them, "Um aren't you guys supposed to be watching the van?" The brothers looked at each other in fear before taking off.

"Come on." Bree grabbed your arm dragging you with her.

The five of you stood on the beach, looking at the indent in the sand where their van should have been. You watched Chase freak out. Trying to comfort him, you placed your hand on his back, rubbing up and down, feeling his muscles contract under your touch. "We have to tell Mr. Davenport," Bree confessed. "Oh yeah? And tell him hey that really easy task where all we had to do was sit and wait well we didn't, totally blew it and the world is toast oopsie!" You looked at Chase and then Bree questionably. What was so important that losing the van was world-ending? Noticing your confusion Leo leaned over to you, "Don't worry they're just uh really dramatic." You nodded slowly still unsure about what to make of the situation. After the policeman came to inform the family over the $200 fine they convinced you to try and help them raise the funds. You watched Adam take a metal pole and turn it into a bunny and narrowed your eyes at the sibling's suspicious behavior. You pulled Bree aside, "Look Bree I thought this was going to be fun but I feel like...there's something you guys are all not telling me." She laughed nervously eyes flitting back and forth. "What?! No trust me there's nothing weird going on everything is totally normal." You crossed your arms and raised your eyebrow at her. "Look every family has their quirks and I'm no one to judge but...something is off and I don't like being lied to." For someone who was keeping a secret Bree's crestfallen face was really convincing, it made you feel a little bad. But that was just it, you hated being lied to or left out. "I'll see you around." You waved and headed in the opposite direction. As Leo was managing the show Chase watched your figure retreat in the distance before running over to Bree. "What did you say to her?" He accused. He always thought Adam Leo or Bree would be the first to give up their bionic secret. "Nothing. I couldn't tell her why we were acting weird so she just left." The siblings turned to look at you walking away.

Bree sighed before continuing, "This always happens, our stupid secret gets in the way of every relationship we try to build."

Chase put a hand on Bree's shoulder, "I'll go talk to her after this, I'm sure she's just confused." The two looked at each other hoping that you could forgive them.

After the whole mobile lab situation and saving the Earth from imminent doom, Chase begged Tasha to stay on the beach a little more claiming that he still needed time to do ALL the activities. Granted a few more hours he quickly stalked up and down the boardwalk and beach looking for you. Time was flying by, he had grown weary under the heat when he sat on a bench closing his eyes to catch his breath. The lingering sun on his skin was eclipsed with a cool shade. He opened his eyes and saw you staring above him with a cold lemonade in your hands. You smiled slightly and brought the cup to his lips, "You look super tired, you probably need this more than me." He grasped the cup with two hands and chugged the icey sour but sweet drink. A small bead of the drink dribbled on his chin as he ignored your piercing gaze. "Chase...why are you looking for me?" He put the cup down and stood up chest barely touching yours. "I...I want to make this right with you." He took a deep breath, the words in his head, what he wanted to say started to jumble together. Your eyes bore into his as if you could read his thoughts trying to search for the answer yourself. "I like you (y/n). More than I've ever liked someone before. And this feeling is overwhelming. You do things to me that make me do stupid stuff because...well, I don't what what to say. I'm terrified that you'll find someone better and not want to hang out with me anymore." You placed a hand on his cheek, feeling his warm skin push into your palm. "Chase I won't find someone better because you are someone better. I admire you, the way you care about your family, and your excitement about science and literature." You lifted your other hand to fully grasp his face. “You have bewitched me, body and soul.” you quoted.

He chucked, "Okay Mr.Darcy, I suppose I'm Elizabeth then?" You laughed and smiled at the thought.

"But, Chase I know there's something you and your siblings are keeping for me." Your smile disappeared as did his. "I...I can't tell you." He watched you frown at his confession. "It's not just my secret to tell, but trust me if it was important I'd let you know. But for now, can we just keep being normal?" You paused and looked into his hazel eyes that held so much sincerity. There was not a single indication of malice but rather a silent plead for you to believe him. "Fine. I'll leave it alone for now. But I expect you to tell me eventually." He grabbed your waist and pulled you into a hug spinning you around. The sound of your laughter filled the air drawing the attention of some bystanders. In the moment it felt like it was just the two of you standing there.

Although it was only your 2nd time, it felt so natural like second nature. The kiss grew more passionate like an unspoken language only the two of you knew. His hand pressed into your hips as your fingers twisted in his hair. He could feel the heat of your bare chest on his.

Chase broke off the kiss first, “Sorry but I know if we keep going I won’t be able to stop and I would really like to date you out on a real date.” You blushed and gently ran your hand down his cheek. “Okay. How about Friday after school?”

He pecked you on the lips, “Sounds like a date.” You beamed up at him before grabbing his hand, “Come on let’s enjoy the rest of today.”

Chase happily followed behind you wondering if god had truly blessed him by bringing you into his life.

Taglist: @mel-vaz

[daftpatience]

Turned 30 last November, and had started T in September, I've been wanting this for years but wasn't ready mentally, but now I want it all, the meds the top surgery, the hysterectomy eventually too... But I was super concerned about what top surgery could look like on my body ... But k have a very similar build to you and it literally brought me so much joy to see results that made me go !!!!!!!! I have a dr appointment next month and gonna ask to begin my process for top surgery thanks to you sharing your experience so big big thank you ! ( Also could you share what was your recovery wishlist stuff? I could see you received nice pillows and Im curious what you'd recommend as well ?)

ahh congrats im really happy for you!!

and yea i can share the wishlist stuff lemme see - u dont need to get these specific exact brands of things but i'll link them anyways for the visual aid and searchability + explain each thing:

triangle wedge pillow & pregnancy pillow - sitting more upright & supported on the sides like that really helps healing. getting it early to practice sleeping upright-er really helps. my first few nights with it were really rough and i'm glad i wasn't post-op yet.

bidet - it is difficult to bend forwards or sideways at first, so one of these is rlly helpful if you don't want to ask for help wiping your ass.

bath wipes - you can't shower for the first little while and won't be able to get your chest wet for longer, so being able to spot clean helps. your armpits are going to smell weirdbad for awhile due to the proximity to healing stuff.

bromelain - the pineapple enzyme that eats u. it helps to reduce swelling and inflammation after surgery, lots of surgeons will recommend it. i definitely felt like it helped during the first couple weeks post-op 'cus i missed it for a couple days on the 2nd week it was a much angrier red in the area and i felt extra swollen and sore.

bandage tape, bandage pads, polysporin - after the first week you're gonna be changing out bandages daily on the areas your surgeon recommends (usually nipple grafts and drain holes) until they are no longer wet and oozing. if your scar decides to spit stitches anywhere it'll open up a bit until the stitch is out (and then close again!) & you'll want to cover those areas too. this will all last way longer than you expect. you'll need a lot of these.

silicone scar gel and silicone scar strips - only to be used after all the scabs are gone. they improve the appearance of the scar + the tape helps keep it from stretching out. they're more for long-term results so idk how well they worked, i basically used up one pack and then got tired of doing it. some people develop allergies to it so if they make you really red and itchy talk to your doctors!

reusable bendy straws - lifting a cup to your mouth is not a recommended motion to be doing at first. i picked these types because i hate the taste and feel of metal/silicone straws + they're a little wider and i don't like how skinnier straws make soda fizz so much from the higher pressure/narrower passage lol. that's just me being picky. i like these though and still use them often!

[that-one-weeb-but-it-transformer]

Your Optimus' Older sister, and he's always looked up to you even as a Prime headcannons

When Optimus was "born" you were still young, you could remember holding him

Basically you guys were inseparable since you were young

You helped him get through his schooling and a job at the archives actually

You were kinda like that embarssing mom, especially infront of Femmes you caught him glancing often

"Ooo is that your little-" "no! No! No!"

In an honest respect you both have each others back, you've been there for every big ceremony he's been apart of.

He told you about becoming a prime first

You were more than proud of him.

And even as a Prime he really still found you a roll model

Always looking up to you like he did when you were both younger, either it be in battle or in simply speaking.

Its unfortunate but you both broke apart with the wars final days

He to earth and you, well he didnt know exactly what had happened to you

He hadnt forgot about you, but pushed you to the back of his mind.

Maybe he hoped you'd find your way to him like all those times you did when he got lost as a youngling, telling him it'd be okay as he cried scared he had lost you forever

"I always come back. Don't I Orion?"

What a way to run back into each other, back on earth that is

Everyones shocked to be honest.

They had never known Optimus had a sister, none the less one so different from him.

Also. He showing a happy emotion? Its a good day

"Still light as ever I see!"

Not you picking him up in a hug, basically embarssing him.

The bots were glad to have another well rounded fighter

And Miko was just glad to meet another kick ass bot

"Optimus has a sister? And that sister is you?"

"Bam! Right on the dot! Me and ol Blue and Red here! Together again! Huh?"

Despite your outgoingness you do keep silent, they've realized Optimus started doing your little finger on the chin thing as you think

"I didn't think Femmes could be so tall."

"You're just mad because she's taller than you, Jackie."

Tall femme supremacy

"So! What did you do on Cybertron?" Miko asked happily.

"Do?" Y/n questioned hands on her hips, "what do you mean do?"

"I bet you were a Wrecker like Bulkhead and Wheeljack! Are you a prime?"

"Oh my occupation!" Y/n smiled as she thought, finger holding her chin in thought, "well i did a number of things, anything to get some energon on the table."

"I thought you and Orion lived in Iacon." Raffle spoke.

Y/n nodded, "We did. Didn't mean it was easy. I did do a number of things Im not proud of Anything for my little brother." Y/n answered with a smile.

"I was more than happy to ruin my own reputation and life to get him where he needed to be." Y/n spoke.

"Wow." Jack responded, "I'd wish I had siblings like you."

Y/n smiled with a nod, "never break up a set. I use to tell him that all the time."

Megatron? Terrified of you

Mostly because you've been able to kick his aft more than once in his life time

Picking up your injured brother

Protecting your injured brother

Taking the shot for your injured brother

Ratchet came out of base to even get Optimus immediate medical attention, but you snapped back and wouldn't let anyone touch him as you held him close

Ratchet knew you before hand so it was a bit helpful that he knew all the things you been through.

Arcee argues with you for it

"You could of gotten Optimus Killed!' She shouted at Y/n, pointing a demanding digit at Arcee.

"I know what Im doing. Back off!" Y/n demanded, "and don't point at me."

She slapped Arcee's servo away.

"You shouldn't even be here! You're a liability! You don't help in anyway and disrespectful Optimus!"

"Disrespect? I'd kill myself before I ever disrespected my little brother-"

"Thats just it! He's a leader not your little brother! Not no more! He thinks your embarrassing!"

"Oh please." Y/n spoke

"You're just dead weight-"

"Thats enough!" Ratchet demanded pulling the two apart.

"If Orion thinks Im such of a dead weight. He can tell me. And I'll leave." Y/n spoke, "and I won't come back."

"His name is Optimus." Arcee argued.

"And thats where you miss." Y/n defended, "This isnt just a discussion about war. This'll be a discuss about family."

You ended up leaving after dicussing it with Optimus

"But Y/n I don't understand why you are leaving"

You didnt tell him what had happen.

"It's just best for the team. If you need me, Im a comn link away."

It's almost like a big sister going off to college, but instead of coming back after 4 years, you won't come back at all

Kinda just fell off the face of the earth again :(

He never did comn you, and you never did come back.

He felt as if he's disappointed you in some way

That could be the only reason you left in such a way

Sure though, he'd find you again on the feild.

In a cave specifically, slumped against a wall, sword at your side, dead cons around you.

Sure, you did defeat all the cons, evident by the slashed chasis, decapitications, and sliced off body parts.

Turns out just one too many injuries got you this time around.

How his spark ached seeing you in such a stature

Never to see you alive again, never able to repay such a debt he had as you being his big sister

It's even more unfortunate that he never learns of why you truly left

[bonny-kookoo]

bonnyy cld be get an off duty drabble w oc admiring jk's body mods im so curious abt them🤥

Jungkook has always had his body mods ever since you've known him.

He's never told you how or why he got them- but from what you know about other people's mods, and considering how and where they're placed, you've got an idea as to what their purpose is inside his body.

The back of his neck and his spine is covered by silver metal, a little scratched from the timeframe they've been in place, but overall still in mint condition. You know he's had them for quite some time now, and you've also heard from conversations that he's had them after an 'incident' at work.

So, during his police service, he must've been involved in something that caused him to need the mods now. But, you shouldn't be nosy, right? It's his past, not yours. And he's made it clear that he doesn't really want to have anything to do with you past normal partnership for work purposes.

You tend to forget that sometimes, especially when he's nicer to you than usual.

Right now, you're poking your head around your bedroom door, when he notices you, chuckling a bit. "What's up?" He asks, and you look into the kitchen for a second, before you mumble something. "Hm?" He asks, walking closer to hear you better.

"...can I have something to snack on.?" You wonder quietly, tail tucked between your legs and ears turned downwards. It's normal- you feel bad right now, because you've both been working overtime today, and he'd asked you twice on the way home if you wanted to eat something- which you denied in those moments, thinking that it would just bother him too much.

But you're horribly hungry, stomach growling in complaint.

"Aish, I asked you, didn't I?" He sighs, running a hand through his still damp hair from the shower, before he laughs. "Come on then, I'll warm up some leftovers." He invites you, letting you follow him into the kitchen.

You sit at the table, watching him move around, kitchen light reflecting off the silver body modifications on his neck and back. The clock is ticking and the microwave buzzes while he heats up your leftover dinner from yesterday, before he turns around, catching you staring.

"You can ask, you know." He says, arms crossed in front of his upper bare body, only sweatpants covering him.

"...but I shouldn't." You answer, leaning your chin on your arms on the table. "It's yours." You say.

"I mean, yeah, they're obviously mine. But you can still ask about them." He shrugs.

"...what're they for?" You ask because of that.

"Keep me moving." He simply answers. "The spinal one-" He says, sitting down close to you at the kitchen table so you can see them better. "-connects up here, to the one on my neck." He taps the metal, and you look at them in wonder. You've never seen them up close like this. "Without them, I wouldn't be able to move anymore." He shrugs off, and you look at him as if you want to ask further- but you don't.

"Not one bit?" You ask, and he chuckles.

"Not one bit." He offers. "But I got them, and they work well. So it's no big deal."

"Do you.. is it different with them?" You ask. "Like, do you feel different?" You wonder, and he moves his shoulders a bit, thinking.

"A little." He nods. "My hands feel numb sometimes when it's cold. And I have to be careful not to break them. Won't kill me- but I'd be a breathing corpse, basically." He laughs-

but you're not finding any of it funny.

There's an odd protectiveness bubbling up in you now. Feeding you the need to really have his back now- literally, and figuratively. Because, while you'd never admit it to not overcomplicate things, or put any burden or pressure on him-

You love him.

As more than just a partner.

[imtrashraccoon]

Welcome to week two and a series of chapters I have been really looking forward to writing! Sorry this one is a bit short, I was rather busy today. Have some introspective into a character I love but haven't explored much yet.

@owl-bones

First, Previous, & Next Day

Bad Sansuary II: Maul - Yearning

Word Count: 1,261

Note: Maul is my name for Horror Sans in this AU.

After you gave Maul the basic rundown of what happened in the city, he offered to keep watch so you could get some rest. You were just grateful to be able to rest but swore to make it up to him later. By the time you woke up the next day, the sun had already passed its apex and, despite being exhausted, Reven somehow managed to wake up first.

As you emerged from the lean-to, you noticed the two gathered around the fire pit. Maul was sitting in the same spot as last night, but you doubted he had been there the entire time as his greataxe was now propped up against another log. Reven was currently standing off to the side with his arms crossed, having donned his armour once more.

"...and where has dirk been?" you heard the spellsword ask.

Maul shrugged, "dunno, haven't seen 'im in days... said somethin' about scoutin' the area before he left."

Reven let out a growl of frustration and pinched his skull where the bridge of his nose would be, if he had one. "of course, why wouldn't he just run off on his own? he's probably just chasing tail, again."

"I don't think he would be that careless," you commented as you joined them.

"well, i'm going to go find him," Reven said. "we aren't getting back into the city anytime soon, but he still needs to be here to plan our next move."

"Do you want help?" you asked as he turned to leave.

He shook his head and waved you off. "no, it shouldn't take long to find an idiot out in the middle of nowhere. i'll be back soon."

You watched until his red cuirass disappeared between the trees. "So," you started to say as you turned to Maul, "what have you been up to the past couple days?"

~ ≈ V^ᴥ^V ≈ ~

You hummed a little tune to yourself as you gathered up dry branches for kindling. Not wanting to sit around doing nothing, you had decided to try making yourself useful while waiting for Reven and Dirk to return. Once you had a nice armful of wood, you began to make your way back to camp.

Maul was nice, if a bit odd, and he wasn't the greatest at making small talk. You didn't really mind being around him, although his quietness was a little unnerving at times. He was also impossible to read and had a tendency to stare, which often made you feel more than a little self-conscious.

You could tell that he was a troubled soul, but for all his rough edges, you had never met a more genuine person. Sure, he had been a bit chilly with you for the first week, but he warmed up overnight after you tried and failed to make a pound cake. You remembered feeling pathetic for messing up a simple recipe, but he didn't make fun of you and actually took it upon himself to help you bake a better one.

After that, you seemed to gain a mutual respect for one another. When you were practicing in the yard, he would give you a few tips to make better use of your weapons in battle. In return, you started making time to stop by the kitchen and help him with whatever he was in the middle of at the moment.

You didn't know much about him beyond what you had been told as he didn't talk about himself. You had a feeling that he had some martial training, but the few times you had seen him fight, you thought he fought more like an animal than a soldier. Not that it was a bad thing, since he was equally as deadly in combat as the others.

He wasn't just a beast in battle though. He was incredibly resourceful and seemed to enjoy fixing things, particularly armour and weapons. This talent also seemed to extend to other domestic tasks, such as cooking. So much so, that you had a feeling he would be the type to settle down in a quiet town and start a family, if he wasn't serving Donovan anyways.

Just as you caught a glimpse of the camp through the trees, one of your hind feet plunged into a burrow you hadn't noticed. It happened so suddenly that you weren't able to stop your forward momentum and fell, scattering the kindling everywhere.

For a moment, you just laid there, trying to recover from the shock as the pain set in. Your paws and forearms ached from where you had braced yourself to keep from completely falling on your face, but the worst was a sharp pain from your ankle. When you tried to stand back up, the pain only became more intense and you cried out. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you slowly pulled your paw from the hole, mentally cursing at whatever animal had the audacity to make their home there.

The sound of hurried footsteps had you turning to meet Maul's gaze. He froze the moment you made eye contact, staring at you with an odd expression. You thought he seemed concerned but there was some other emotion as well. Something deeper, more primal and ugly, and yet you detected no malice in his gaze.

"I'm... I think I'm okay." You swallowed nervously and looked away, back down to your ankle which was already starting to swell.

The sound of your voice seemed to snap him out of whatever headspace he had been lost in and he was suddenly by your side. He knelt down next to you, carefully studying your injury before reaching out to touch it. You sharply inhaled as his bony fingers probed at your ankle, trying your best not to cry.

Finally, he pulled back and turned to look at you again. " 's not broken, but ya won't be able to walk for a few days," he rumbled.

You sighed and pressed your lips together into a thin line. "Great, that's just great..."

Maul held out his hand and silently helped you up. It hurt too much to put any weight on your ankle and you would have fallen over if he didn't catch you. Slowly, he helped you back to the camp, guiding you to sit on a log by the fire pit.

"stay put."

His unusually firm tone of voice took you by surprise and you could only blink owlishly at his back as he left to retrieve something from his rucksack. When he returned, you noticed he was holding some bandages and a bowl of what smelled like homemade healing salve. He knelt in front of you, silently motioning for your ankle and when you nodded, began tending to the injury.

You studied his facial expressions as he worked, wondering why he was acting so odd. He didn't seem upset, but he kept stealing looks at your face every few seconds, almost like he was making sure you were awake and hadn't passed out. You found his behaviour slightly amusing since twisting your ankle was a minor injury at best. Maybe he was worried it was worse than it appeared since injuries tended to be more severe for skeletons?

When he finished, Maul pulled another log over and had you rest your paw on it. You gave him a slightly confused look which earned a chuckle from him.

"take it easy, pup. i'll look after the chores, okay?" he rumbled softly, ruffling the fur between your ears.

[desire-mona]

why i think richard cameron is Like That

the long awaited cam analysis post of sorts!!!

so to start off, let me acknowledge the obvious: CAMERON SUCKED FOR WHAT HE DID TO HIS FRIENDS. THAT WAS MEAN AND SHITTY OF HIM, HE DESERVED TO GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE AND HE DESERVED TO HAVE HIS FRIENDS STOP LIKING HIM. this post is just to paint a more nuanced picture of the motivations and reasoning behind his cam-ness. also i feel the need to address that my love for dylan kussman HEAVILY influences my opinion on cameron, so please keep that in find when u read this. if my bias shows at any point then feel free to offer your perspective, odds are i'll find a way to agree :3

-

lets start at the very beginning of the movie, his first appearance with the tradition banner. this obviously wasn't anything i rly thought of in depth on my first watch, but on my second watch i was like oh Hm.

tradition, of course, is a BIG aspect of welton that the movie repeatedly emphasises, drawing lots of attention to how nothing changes. i find cam holding the tradition banner especially interesting in relativity to neil holding the excellence banner specifically. cam very clearly tries his best to embody the rules of welton (more on this later) and very rarely deviates from those rules, although he does on occasion (again - more on this later.) but despite his attempts to be the manifestation of those values are never met with any praise, unlike neil. that's not to say that neil isn't deserving of that praise though, absolutely he is deserving, but in terms of academics specifically, cam's pretty up there too! this part doesnt exactly tie in directly with the rest of the post, but just thought id point it out first to add a layer to the rest of my thoughts.

how i view cam's character arc is something that's framed in a way thats not supposed to be viewed as an arc, i suppose (interesting considering the tradition thing hm). of course thats inaccurate as he does in fact have in arc, it just small in relation to the more forefront-ed poets. and it makes him ultimately less likeable, so.

during a majority of the movie (pre neil death) cam is known as the guy who doesnt like to break rules, that much is obvious, but in the end he still does with the dead poets society. now the reasoning behind that isnt actually touched on in a direct way, so there are a few different ways you can view that. i'll touch on a few different reasonings that me, @pencileraser1, and @good--merits-accumulated came up with.

my reasoning - i see cam's willingness to break the rules as cam holding his friends' idea of him on a high pedestal, constantly taking into consideration what they think. not wanting his friends to consider him a loser or boring in any way, he joins despite the anxiety surrounding being caught. not without fuss though, he does still outwardly talk about how this isnt something they should be doing. all this and yet he does in fact join, AND he doesnt rat anyone out for a majority of the movie (even after the call from god dealio!!!) fomo, basically.

nick's reasoning (found in this post) - he just wanted his friends to be safe!!! joining to (in my view) keep them in line in terms of safety as well as. i guess. provide the reminder of the consequences i suppose?? nick im opening up the floor to u if u wanna delve into this point more cuz ur definitely able to provide better reasoning n such. if asking nick to talk abt things was a full time job.

tristan's reasoning (discussed in dms) - cam's need for authority. tristan brought up a very good headcanon/ theory/ something or other that cam is the type to need constant direction or authority, and i totally agree! (reason for that will - again - come up later.) now this culminates in a couple different ways. 1) most obviously, adhereing (ehh) to the rules of welton, and 2) his relationship with the rest of the poets. due to the size of the welton student body, a lack of individual direction from teachers and staff is almost inevitable. so to fill that gap, he adheres to his friends' """"""rules"""""", and joins the poets. floor is open to you as well if you'd like to elaborate further, tristan :3

my thoughts of cam being super focused on his friends' idea of him actually started as a bit. i believe i made a hc post about smoking weed?? maybe?? and said something along the lines of "cam would smoke even if he doesnt want to, not cuz of peer pressure from his friends but more of a self imposed peer pressure. thinking its rude/ cringe/ uncool to turn down smthn like this bc all the rest of the guys r doing it." but after a rewatch of the scene in dps where theyre all walking outside, it started having some merit in my mind! in that scene, keating does a sort of imitation of cameron when he first starts to walk, something like "am i doing this right?", "am i walking weird?", etc. (paraphrasing ofc.) so i sort of took that aspect and applied it to other parts of his character and found out that oh, this actually kinda makes sense!

speaking of keating and his lessons, lets talk carpe diem.

now my interpretation of cam is that he doesn't exactly *want* to apply carpe diem in his life, seeing it as an antithesis of the welton values. only joining the poets for the reasons mentioned above. however, he does indeed apply it in my eyes, but more as a fucked up reversal and dickish version which eventually ends up in him deservedly getting punched. now is this how keating intended him to interpret carpe diem? ehhhhhhhhhhhhh,, it's complicated, let's talk about the context a bit.

this part is more theorising than anything, so take it with a few grains of salt if u wish.

cam quite obviously is a pretty big stickler for the rules, which i believe is a result of outside influence. id like to thank @lovech1ld for reminding me of this! cam's parents/ grandparents/ guardians are noticably older than the other poets, which, in my eyes, makes a heavy emphasis on following the rules make a lot more sense (respect your elders type shit.) so this, combined with the inherent fear of authority that most of the boys seem to have, makes him a chronic rule follower. but it goes further than that, after these ideas have been pushed for so long, i feel that cameron's started to mix up his own personal morals and values with the morals and values of welton, viewing those two things as one in the same. here's where that starts to muddy things up in terms of carpe diem.

i interpret cam's finking AS his application of carpe diem in his life, but as more of a subconscious choice. now you may be thinking "hey. mona. what?" and i UNDERSTAND! but here's my reasoning behind that. as i mentioned/ theorised before, cam has a very high opinion of his friends' idea of him, but this does eventually change after neil's passing. his subconscious carpe diem application, to put it into proper words, was a way to stick up for himself and his beliefs despite what all his friends think. again, being brought about by neils death, since he didn't choose to rat anyone out when the opportunity first presented itself during the call from god assembly. and i dont think cam sticking up for himself is inherently a bad thing!! but! since cam's idea of his morals are so clouded by welton's, this isn't actually sticking up for himself, this is just being a tattletale.

he did provide other reasoning for doing so to the poets of course, so lets talk a bit about that too. he says something along the lines of "i did it for neil" and "this is what he wouldve wanted" which is obviously bullshit, objectively. but i don't think he saw it that way, i think he genuinely believed thats what he thought neil would've wanted, as stupid of him as that was. obviously thats not what he wouldve wanted AT ALL, and why he actually thought that is FAR beyond me. but i really dont think he wouldve turned anyone in if he didnt genuinely believe it, especially considering the fact that he was PART of the dead poets. even if he was the one to confess, im sure he likely got punished as well. (which also couldve been what he wanted? tristan this is an opening to also discuss catholic cam on here bc ur reasonings for that were INCREDIBLE.)

on top of this, i really dont think that cam actually understood the weight of what turning in everyone would do. now i will say right away, hes not dumb, he knew that keating would be fired and charlie would be expelled, and that alone should've turned him away if he really wanted to honor neil. as i said before we started, he absolutely deserved to be punched and lose his friends, that was a dick move that ended up ruining two lives for a long long time, if not forever.

but.

due to him grieving, his rules = morals shtick, and fear of authority, i think he turned in the poets without giving actual, proper thought into what the consequences of that would be. which manifests itself both in the film with the final scene.

in the last scene where all of the boys stand on the desk, we see multiple shots of cam looking around and looking at everyone standing. and we (or at least i) can definitely see some sort of consideration to join them!!! he of course doesnt, and ends up choosing to sit, looking QUITE ashamed. this too can he interpreted a couple ways, either as him being embarrassed that his peers are doing this, or as him wanting to join them but knowing that he was the reason keating was fired. knowing that it would be incredibly disingenuous, even if he stood as a way to sort of apologise to keating + the poets for what he did and show that he regrets his actions, he stayed seated. and was so. so. mad at himself for it.

now i don't remember where i heard this so im not sure how to go about fact checking, but i believe the choice to keep cam seated was ultimately dylan kussman's?????? but dont take my word as gospel in terms of that, i very well could be wrong.

BUT! this gives me an opportunity to talk abt how much i love dylan kussman!!!!! nick vocalised the thought before i was able to in one of his posts, but considering the fact that i agree wholeheartedly, i'll reiterate it. i see rsl and ethan hawke constantly be praised (deservedly!) for their understanding of the inner workings of their characters, especially reflected in the desk set scene. and while YES ABSOLUTELY, i think dylan needs this praise as well. dylan was the PERFECT casting choice for cameron and i will shout that from the rooftops until my voice goes hoarse. so so so many of his little mannerisms, facial expressions, ways of speaking, soooo many etceteras are just so. so. CAMERON! even the most comprehensive directorial choices cant top an actor's inherent understanding of a character and reflection of that in their performance. good god! i think my new dream in life is to ask dylan about how he came about properly embodying cameron and his process in doing so.

anyway

with my dylan fanfare over, that about wraps up my thoughts on cam in terms of the film itself. HOWEVER. i have lots and lots of thoughts after a long convo with tristan about certain headcanons and post-canon theories and whatever. will probably touch on those but i dont really have my thoughts properly collected enough, so that wont be until later.

as per usual with these types of posts, everyone else is welcome to add any input they may have. cam is one of my fav things to talk abt in terms of dps so i will eat up every single little thing. thank u for reading!!!!

[tales-of-wocdes]

i hope im not asking for spoilers but what this game is actually about like living with trauma in the orpanage or something more? Because tbh im really curious about the story but im not really sure what else it can be about (please dont take it as hate😭😭) i was thinking like - learning magic and defeating the bad guy at the end of ch2 but i dont really think this game will be focused that much on revange/fighting.

Anyways im sure whatever youll create ill amd many more people will be happy because its so well written that i feel like you could just write a 1000 word story about a rock and id be so invested ill cry (youre an amazing writter and im glad im able to see your art)

Thank you! It is surreal to hear people say things like that. I'll see about the rock story at some point....

No worries, I am not so easy to offend :D It is a good question. And the answer is scary. Because it makes me doubt if we ever get there. Because the answer is that it is both about living with the trauma, and something more.

You can read the pinned post for some idea about the "overall" direction that is planned.

The rest will talk about what I would imagine the structure to be like and what I have divided it into in my notes. Read at your own peril. And also know that this is a very long term plan.

--------------------------------------------------------------

So the basic idea is that we have these "acts"

Where MC is at this age. The current act. The start of the journey so to speak. Getting used to life outside the "void". Everything is odd and new. Possibly a short time skip (weeks, months) during this act; or just make it into a new act.

2. MC is still a child but a couple of years into living at the orphanage. Basically the "living with trauma in the orphanage". This would be the phase where say MC is used to living at the orphanage, might get to venture out into the city. Is getting lessons about normal stuff.

3. MC is a teen/young adult in training. MC is actively in training and learning to fight.

4. MC is an adult. (The name of the IF and the pinned post do state what MC is supposed to become). MC goes out into the world with some companions to fulfill their duty.

Now does this make sense? There is a bigger background story but you can't really tell too much about it from this outline :D That bad guy at the end of C2 is supposed to start setting up some of the bigger background. Though I will freely admit, that it might be a tad too early for that interlude... but I can just move it a bit later if needed. I had it written so I included it :D I do things like that.

And this is not at all locked into stone. It is massively ambitious, meant to span a long time. I have already been quite honest that my outlines suck so who knows what will happen :D

I am taking it one day at a time, and refusing to worry about it too much :D Chipping away at it one tiny piece at a time.

[gaylordscooter]

logofthehebmultivese: ENTRY HELP

im writing this down tottally calmly and

yknow what im not even going to do a bit

so fresh is currently in my general vicinity and normally ink and i would get the fuck out of there immediately. GUESS WHERE INK IS??

OR SHOULD I WRITE FRESH INK? GOD THIS IS SO GREAT AND AWESOME IM GLAD IT'S HAPPIENING

so im hiding until dream senses my anguish and decides to head over.

i didnt even know he COULD infect ink on the account of NO SOUL.

then again, no one knows how he does it.

i just realized i haven't written an entry on fresh yet. the lack of info on him is exactly why.

basic gist: parasite-virus kind of deal. there's a "main" host which more often than not is what people are referring to when they say "fresh". little known fact unless you've encountered him. he's a hive-mind. and i wouldve appreciated a warning from ink instead of finding that out MYSELF

when he infects someone, they become a "lesser" host which the main host draws magic from.

now i said—

i hear him

.

[there's a bunch of illegible scribbles]

ok. he walked away my hiding spot's good. seems like all those times i played hide n seek with my brother paid off...

so as i was writing, i call him a parasite-virus now im no biologist (unlike most sanses i majored in psychology, and i totally got my degree, yeah) so i dont know how accurate of a term that is but it sounds right to me because he's a parasite (that resides in a main host) that spreads a virus (that infects people and allows him to control them and draw power from).

and no one knows how he infects people. i dont know if it's airborne, through touch, magic-related no one knows. the logical conclusion tends to be through close proximity but even then who knows what he does to spread the virus.

it might have something to do with those shades that all of them wear

did i mention this very dangerous thing larps as a dude from the 90's. it would be funny if it weren't for everything else. did i mention he's emitting music from the 90's right now and that's how ive been able to tell when he's near? (i can never listen to wannabe by the spice girls the same ever again)

hang on

ink seems to be wasting all his paint. i know what he's trying to do. he still has some control

his paint is more viscous than usual, it's clumping together in gross globs. i think something's in it

it's distracting fresh. i think he's trying to calm him down. failing, of course, ink doesn't listen to anyone (except well, the creators)

the virus targets the soul. ink doesn't have a soul so the next best thing is his paint

now people think when he runs out of paint he becomes a lifeless husk and

thats not. that's exactly what happens

but give him paint again he'll be back to normal, that's my job, sometimes. it's not formally my job, ink wouldn't want to depend on someone to that degree but the few times it's happened—im getting off track

there's paint everywhere and im trying my hardest to not touch any of it. there's petals in it, gross is that what fresh uses? petals or flowers?

hang on ink just slapped fresh with his scarf i need to sketch this out

im not that good at drawing. i'll ask ink to do a true artist's interpretation of this.

oh my god he knocked his glasses off. oh my god that's a huge ass flower in his sockets. that

ok it's time to go

[creepy-scrawl]

I'm sorry that you're in such a shitty financial situation...is there anyway people could help you while it's getting sorted out (since you might not be able to get money into your bank from commissions)?

I've been delaying replying to this ask since October 2024 bc life is complicated and it happens SO so fast...

So.. I'm gonna give y'all a pretty condensed explanation bc I don't want to reveal too much personal information, and you can choose not to believe me, sadly I don't have the luxury to mind if you don't. [TL;DR my bank account got confiscated, and that's why I haven't announcing my comissions anymore. But if you wanna help me you can still commission me, using my gfs pp instead of mine]

So when I basically when I was younger I lend my name so my cousin could get a health provider for his (then) upcoming baby.. he was meant to pay for it every two months and when he did not needed anymore he would cancel it and we would forget about it.. i was naive and I thought "why not?" The day his wife was gonna have the baby was getting closer and closer and I just accepted the deal. The thing here is... my cousin asked me bc nobody else would make him that favor, and it was for a very good reason, he is super irresponsible and informal. And after a couple of years I forgot about it, AND SO DID HE. so he stopped paying. He didn't told me for me to cancel it. And now I am in debt bc of that.. and bc I didn't know and the debt kept piling up this institution embargoed my bank account. I know it is my fault for not making sure he did cancel, I am paying for a mistake for the past but The thing is, i know I'm not gonna go to jail or something like that.. but i would need and accountant and a lawyer to appeal to try and cancel my debt, but it requires money.. money that FOR THE MOMENT id rather spend on the construction of our family house (that's been on the making almost for 11 years, if not more) bc we can not afford renting anymore, we are giving it all for that house... Like Bc we have no money.. we've been doing the construction work by ourselves. These past 5 months I've been working on the construction, the housekeeping and also my regular job and tbqh when this whole thing happened I was so debilitated by the stress and sadness but nowadays I'm just so fucking tired I can barely have time to think about my financial situation...

You may be wondering, if I have no bank account how am I surviving? Well. In my designer job I get paid on cash... But as you may remember I started commissions bc my regular job was and still, is not paying me enough. So i do need the commissions work... But at the same time I am ashamed of this situation, so that's why I stopped campaigning my comissions (but not really bc Im still desperate). Many of you have told me stuff like "I'll wait til things get better w your bank account:)" and I really appreciate that you considered me enough to be willing to wait. But. I don't think this will get better anytime soon.

So... My gf suggested me to still offer comissions and instead of my P*yPal, just give hers... Again. I do understand why this might be suspicious for y'all so that's why I didnt say a thing... I know I am a pretty small creator and that I don't have anything to back up my work, but if you still want to help me (bc let's be for real you guys. I know nobody is paying bc they like my art. I know is bc y'all feel bad about me 🙌) and are chill about it, you can pay me through my gfs P*yPal (also also also... Many of you may wonder how would I get the money if we're on a long distance relationship and I have no bank account... Uh it has come to my attention that in USA you don't use cash anymore. But in Mexico we still use it a lot, that's why our banks have this system called "retirement with no card" that is basically a remote cash retirement. And that's basically it.. she gets the money on her account, she gives me the code to retire and then I get the cash...)

so yeah... That's the whole explanation., thank you for reading, Extra thank you for your concerns, and extra extra thank you for your trust in me. It really means a lot to me... Y'all know how little I enjoy life... And I know many of you may think I'm exaggerating but... Hanging up w you guy on Tumblr really is the best part of my day... You really are my only chill space.. and I hope life treats you well, bc Idk what my life would be without y'all...

[trillscienceofficer]

thank @lostyesterday for tagging me in a WIP game, only... at the moment I have just one WIP loosely called "post-canon B7 that's prequel to the other long fic I wrote". If I'm talking about a scenario you can be sure im talking about this fic, so between this and having remade the blog I don't know if I'd get any asks about it lol. However I could talk about it forever, so that's what I'm going to do. If (and that's a big if!) I actually write it, it's probably going to be the biggest, and likely also the last, of my Trek projects.

Concept: B'Elanna and Seven unexpectedly reunite post-canon when they're both at the lowest points in their lives (post-divorce, post-Icheb dying). Planet-bound without their own means of transportation, they're both hired by the Fenris Rangers to refurbish old starships in a post-synth ban world where starships are now scarce, but only long enough until they can refurbish shuttles of their own and finally be able to leave the surface of Fenris. Working together though brings back memories of a life that feels now so much better than all the regrets B'Elanna and Seven have accumulated since their return to the AQ... and even if there are for both chances to radically alter their life in ways that would bring them closer to everything they've always wanted (acceptance and community—the biggest representative of this being a Klingon OC I've been developing), their common past on Voyager and wounded disillusionment about the Federation is as much an inescapable gravity well as the surface of Fenris.

Problems I'm having:

there's a huge amount of research, in several fields, that I'd have to do. The more time passes the more I realize that I don't know how to do research properly and even if I've known for a long time that I needed said research I haven't really started because I'm very scared I'll get everything wrong (it's part of the reason why I've been thinking about quitting writing, or at the very least not posting my creative output online any longer. I am bad at the basics of writing)

while I have a pretty definite idea of what I want to say with this fic, the plot is uh... pretty vague beside a few events I am fairly sure of. The rest is quite literally up in the air. I suppose if I knew how to "immerse myself in the research" I would get more inspiration but again, see above

with no fixed deadlines I just won't start anything. I've been thinking about joining events like the femslash big bang 2025 to give myself a fighting chance at finishing this but there are plot points (ie a significant m/f relationship) that disqualifies this project, I think. Plus, a single deadline won't help with it, I'd need a roadmap, but who's ever going to hold me accountable except myself? and I know that asshole and she's flaky as hell

there are a few scenes that are crystal clear in my head but I'm afraid that if I write them down first I will lose any interest I have in connecting them through the larger plot

I'd have to actually buy a Scrivener license because I plotted the whole thing out on there last summer (which was still when I thought I could write this prequel like I'd written the first fic in 2023. silly me) and now the trial period has expired 💀💀💀

what would help immensely is if I found someone who will both yell at me when I need to do better and encourage me when I feel down but I've been very reluctant to ask anyone because I don't know who would even like the concept of this fic except myself. Hell the whole point is that B'Elanna and Seven are never in a relationship throughout, much less at the end of it, even though of course they're fully in each other's head. It's just... too much to ask anyone to share in all this mess, I think.

[probably-flowers-and-cats]

"hey," a whisper, "c'me 'ere."

it's warm. the voice is warm and quiet. his head isn't spinning anymore, he's able to stand steady on his own with his hands wrapped around someone, who was kind enough to notice.

"I'll take 'im with me," the voice is still calm; someone's hand presses slightly against his shoulder. he hears many voices, loud, but muffled as something is messing up with his ability to comprehend things.

it happened before and it will, probably, happen again very soon — the stress finally had caught up with him and now is trying to make the score even. it's tiring, trapping him in his own head until his body will finally response and get over the sudden urge to crumble for a moment.

or two. or for an hour and a half. when sounds are overwhelming, when people are talking, but he cannot get the meaning of it at all, when lights are too bright and any touches are seemingly harmless, though they feel like he is punctured with a hot knife.

it happened before and it will happen again.

he still has no idea what to do when these episodes are present and very troublesome. he can think of case he was investigating at the moment, and the next second — too much of a light, of people, of basically everything.

"c'me," the voice is soft. it's not piercing his eardrums, not torturing him with an urgent need to respond something coherent and fully conscious. the voice isn't forcing him to do something, it guides, leads him to... safety, he assumes. "ya hafta say that ya have this thing, too. I'd helped earlier."

he wonders the familiarity in the voice. the caring nature, the gentle approach. he processes every word that had been said.

"Kazuha had these episodes, too," the voice continues. "ya should talk to her, she has some tricks to overcome it up in her sleeve."

he closes his eyes. one step, one more. he feels hands wrapping around him in a careful move, hears a little chuckle.

"man, ya also clingy like her. I don't mind, though."

Shinichi let himself trust the voice of the person who had seen him at his lowest, at his best, at his average — and still is staying on his side, not fearing him even in the slightest, even after witnessing so many murders happened around him, being harmed and wounded, being in danger.

what a fool is he...

"rest well, I'll take care of ya," Hattori whispers.

-----

Shinichi had become my best character to project some thoughts and some things, and I literally wanna squeeze him in a hug just because he is, well, Shinichi. and dang, Hattori who always notices. and Kazuha 😭 it accidentally slipped into my mind and I decided "to be", so here it is. Kazuha, who can be overloaded by sounds, lights and etc. and Hattori also guides her back to present.

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

status of babbit's life yeehaw

tl,dr: busy moving and a couple of other big life things that just complicate things, but well on the way to being back to normal! new fic chapters and better quality art coming soon.

tl,wr (too long, will read):

Helloooo what's up its me, Babbit. or Rabbit. or Bones. or Idiot Moron Menace Child, idk im not picky lol

i know a lot of you guys have been wondering wtf is up with my upload schedule lately and the extreme lack of even basic content and also i am extremely aware that i have not updated my fics in a few millennia and for that i am very, very sorry. this post is to answer a few questions you might have, if anyone was curious about the 'reason' instead of just the 'when.'

my family and i have had a hell of a year, y'all. like, jesus christ, i really hope things level out and calm down for a while once we're moved in to our new apartment bc god damn we are so tired. the list goes: 1. we got kicked out of the house we were renting-to-own bc we wouldn't be able to afford the new rate, so they gave us two months to find a new place to live (not long enough, it turns out) and then foreclosed to get us out. 75% of our belongings were still in the house when we had to leave. that includes all of our christmas ornaments- including the ones kept for decades, and the ones made by me and my siblings, and the fancy ones made from blown glass. 2. the first night out of the house, one of our dogs, freaked out by the strangeness of the situation, panicked and slipped her harness and ran off. that was over a year ago. we haven't seen her since. 3. my cat got very ill and became unable to eat. she passed away almost exactly a year ago. she had been 14-15, and had been my baby since i was maybe 8. 4. one of the tires on my dads car blew out. during the night, while it was parked on the curb so he could put the spare on in the morning, one of the in-tact tires was fucking stolen LMAO 5. we applied to rent at so many places and got rejected so, so many times. it costs money to apply, btw. we're talking like $200+. no, u don't get that money back. 6. i lost my job bc knowing i would have to work 8 hours at a job that stresses me out to the point of exhaustion (at a place where no one takes me seriously and would actively laugh at me when i try to express my need to step away for a minute) sometimes paralyzed me and made me sick to my stomach and made me feel unable to leave the house, and i called out one too many times. a day after my birthday, too! 7. just recently, like within the last week, my dad's car got fuckin totalled!!!!!

THE GOOD NEWS IS WE OFFICIALLY, FINALLY, AFTER A SOLID YEAR, HAVE AN APARTMENT!!!!! I'LL HAVE MY OWN ROOM AGAIN!!! THERE'S AN ENTIRE KITCHEN!!!!!!!

the 'oh god' news is we still have to move in, and replace a lot of the stuff that we just couldn't take with us when we moved out (mostly stuff like bookshelves, dining table, dressers, etc) AND get the few things we could cram into a storage center out and moved into the new place, which isn't a lot but at the same time is more than we can realistically handle on our own. and then, we have to get my mums cats (a pair of kitty sisters that we had to temporarily house with my aunt, who got tired of looking after them and let them outside to be outdoor cats a few months ago. yes, this was an extremely shitty thing to do, and we've been working hard to get them back safely) AND my gecko (who my cousin has been looking after, even tho feeding him worms freaks him out LMAO yes i plan on compensating him) moved in, as well... basically oh my god there is so much to worry about but at the same time it's nice to have to worry about it bc it means we're making progress sdkfhsjdkfhdsjfh

basically i am just so tired but so busy and also thinkin abt so much im so sorry for lack of stuff but i am so looking forward to being able to bounce back, pls stick with me, it'll be sorted out soon i think and then i'll hit y'all with some good stuff i promise!!!!!!!

anyway thank u guys i love u and appreciate u all for sticking around