#'unhand me you fiend'

[lloydfrontera]

when you literally have to be dragged kicking and screaming into being a productive member of society 😔😭

[janeromeroshow]

@pandoras-boudoir asked : ❰❰ LIFT ❱❱ sender carries receiver over their shoulder (from Caleb)

God-fucking-damn it.

Jane swore she'd been quiet enough and The Deathslinger been too preoccupied with chasing her teammate to hear her slip into the locker a little ahead on the path they were taking him - in fact, she'd been certain of it. It was far from the first time she'd tried to catch a killer off guard, and she was growing more and more confident that she could perfect the timing - her mistake, in this situation.

Everything seemed perfectly set up, and yet, while the other survivor led the killer right past her, he didn't continue chasing them, instead slamming open the doors before she could even process it. Now he was taking her who-knows-where while she frustratedly tried to throw herself out of his grasp, a healthy string of curse words coming from the survivor.

Failed attempts to catch a killer head on were always mortifying.

[runeshield]

"..." with a hint of a smirk, cloud smushes his hand into her hair and ruffles. (ik this is the wrong blog but now im too lazy to swap)

there's a look of vague curiosity when he initially approaches her - head tipped just slightly to one side and big brown eyes staring up at him as instinct errs on the side of friend over foe as he nears her. never a thought that this could end in complete betrayal until it's much, much too late to do anything about it, his hand already firmly in her hair and his intention painfully clear by the time that she fully registers the direction this interaction is headed in.

❛ hey - ! ❜ her eyes snap shut as a first reaction to his mussing, nose scrunching up in distaste with the surprised noise that escapes her, so shocked by the turn of events that she ends up standing there at his mercy for several seconds before she even thinks to try and stop him once he's started, finally raising her arms, catching his fingers in hers between strands of her hair and jerks her head and his hand in opposite directions in the hopes of separating the two.

the damage is already done - her hair is a complete mess by the time she frees herself - and now she's scowling up at him. ❛ cloud, you jerk! ❜

[mytheoristavenue]

Aki, Denji, & Power Period Comfort!

Summary: Having four roommates in a two-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment is complicated enough, but it's even worse when you discover you're the only one to have a period.

Warnings: All platonic, fem!reader, period comfort, fluff, takes place just after season one, just three idiots trying their best

🌸 None of you were very enthralled when Makima ordered you to move into Aki's apartment, seeing as it was already overcrowded. He had half a mind to pile you in with Denji and Power, or make you sleep in the living room but Makima convinced him to accommodate you properly. To his dismay, that meant sharing his room with Denji and letting you share with Power.

🌸 As much as you hated the arrangement, you adjusted. Luckily, Power tended to end up sleeping on the floor in a nest of blankets and dirty clothes, cuddled up with her cat, which gave you the bed to yourself most of the time.

🌸 That came especially in handy in times like these. This was the first period you'd had since moving in and it was especially bad. You'd been in terrible pain all morning, curled up with a hot water bottle like it was your lifeline. Luckily, Meowy had sensed your discomfort and came to cuddle with you for a change.

🌸 "Cat thief!" You heard from your roommate as she stirred awake to find her beloved companion's betrayal. "Unhand my darling Meowy!" Yeah, you definitely weren't in the mood for her crap today, lifting the cat, much to it's dismay and setting it on the floor.

🌸 "It came to me, jeez," You groaned, pulling the blanket over your head. "Not trying to steal your cat, you psycho."

🌸 Before you knew it, the feral girl was pressing her nose into Meowy's fur in pursuit of something, turning her face to the air, sniffing it as well. "The scent of blood is in the air, did you hurt my cat?" She asked accusingly before giving a smug grin. "I see, you tried to take him and he scratched you, is that it?"

🌸 "No, dipshit, I'm on my period." You groaned, patience already thinner than trace paper. Power gave you the most condescending look she was capable of, explaining that a period was a grammatical symbol of punctuation, not a physical thing you could lay on. You paled, staring at her blankly. "Power, do you not have a menstrual cycle?"

🌸 "Of course not!" She huffed. "Fiends are incapable of organic reproduction! Such is a human weakness!" Great, the only other girl in the house had no clue about girl problems. You went on to explain a few things to her, such as what a period is and why it had you so disgruntled. "Ahh, so that explains your paler complexion, you're suffering from blood loss!"

🌸 If there is only one thing Power understood, its blood and how a lack there of can affect the performance of the body. She thought to herself before getting an idea. "Iron, you need iron!" She decided, scrambling to her feet, darting to the kitchen.

🌸 You couldn't help but laugh. She wasnt not the brightest, especially when it comes to human affairs, but it warmed your heart to see her so eager to help solve your probelm, even if she didn't fully understand it. Just as you were about to get out of bed and see what she was up to, you heard a voice that makes you cringe.

🌸 "Yo, stop pullin' everything outta the fridge, dumbass!" Your shoulders slumped, knowing Power would surely explain her antics to Denji, who you were certain would be disgusted.

🌸 "Unhand that contianer, I'm on the hunt for red meat!" Your roommate shouted, sparking an altercation. "(Y/N)'s life hangs in the balance! She's bleeding out, she needs iron!" Her words seemed to quell his irritation and before you knew it, he'd barged into your room, panic written all over his face.

🌸 "Holy shit, are you dying?!" You couldn't hide your annoyance, pinching the bridge of your nose as his eyes scanned you worriedly.

🌸 "I'm not dying, I'm not bleeding out, and my life does not hang in the balance." You grumbled, brow twitching. "I'm just on my period."

🌸 "Oh, gross," The look on your face told Denji he'd made a mistake with that comment and he was quick to backtrack. "I-I mean, uh, it's cool, it's totally natural! I-I think..."

🌸 "You're an idiot." You deadpanned, pointing out the door to usher him out. To your dismay, he came right back with a stale pillow and blanket. He nervously fluffed the naked pillow and shoved it behind your back, spreading the blanket out on top of you. You couldn't stay mad at him, he was trying.

🌸 "Oh shit, periods like- hurt, right?" He thought aloud, leaving again and returning with a bottle of generic painkillers. "Oh wait, you need a drink, uh, hold on." He tossed the bottle at you and scrambled back to the kitchen, before bringing you a soda.

🌸 "Can I have some water instead?" You asked politely, trying to hide your amused smile. He looked between you and the soda can, puzzled.

🌸 "I mean, I guess," He accepted suspiciously. "What, you don't like soda anymore?" Before you can explain to him the link between the pain and the caffeine in the drink, Power bursted into the room, shoving him to the side and pushinng a plate of raw red meat into your lap.

🌸 "You dumbass, humans can't eat raw meat, it's bad for us!" Denji scolded, grabbing the plate and handing it back to her. "You have to cook this shit!"

🌸 "I don't know how to cook!" Power argued back childishly. "Besides, the bloodier the meat, the more iron it will restore to her bloodstream! It has to be raw!"

🌸 "Listen, humans can't digest raw shit like that! If (Y/N) eats that she'll probably die of salmonella or somethin'!" You didn't have the heart to explain that that's not how such a bacteria was passed on, but you did agree that, knowing Power's hygiene habits, she could give you salmonella.

🌸 You groaned, letting them bicker until the front door opened, slamming shut. "Why the hell is my kitchen in shambles right now?" Aki bellowed prompting both of your 'care takers' to scurry away.

🌸 "(Y/N) is dying of blood loss!" Power informed him, urging how dire the situation is.

🌸 "Nuh-uh, dipshit, she's just on the rag." Denji rolled his eyes at her concern.

🌸 "And that means you destroyed my kitchen and piled all the raw beef we had on one plate, why?" Aki narrowed his eyes at the pair. "Mind explaining further?"

🌸 "She has to build up her iron levels!" She growled, irritated that nobody is listening to her expertise. Denji continued to argue, thinking surely, she's full of crap.

🌸 "No, that's actually true," Aki admitted with a heavy sigh, already beginning to clean up her mess. "Red meat contains iron and when you lose a lot of blood, you develope an iron deficiency. Eating iron rich foods help replenish your iron levels faster." He explains, finally putting Power's words in a way the boy would understand.

🌸 "But she just can't eat a fuck ton raw meat!" Denji huffed, more irritated that he was wrong than anything else.

🌸 "Also true," Aki sighed, taking out a skillet and setting it on top of the stove, pulling the plate closer. "Look, I'll take care of this. Denji, go run a hot bath, Power, you go see what kind of products she uses and what snacks she likes."

🌸 Power came back and asks you what you prefered for this time of the month. After both of their tasks are completed, Aki sent them both to the nearest corner store with a specific list of what to buy.

🌸 After they left, he peered into the room calmly. "Denji ran you a bath, go ahead while I make you some food." He suggested kindly tilting his head towards the bathroom. You thanked him, relieved to have someone who sort of understands.

🌸 By the time you got out if the bath, you were much more relaxed, muscles no longer as sore. To your suprise, your fuzziest pajamas were sitting on the sink along with a warm towel. Exiting the bathroom, you realized Denji and Power were back, bags still in hand.

🌸 Aki waved you over to the table, inviting you to sit down with them all. When you did, he served you a portion of broccoli and beef. After lunch, he took the dishes, giving the other pair a chance to pass off what they bought you.

🌸 You didn't miss the pink in Denji's cheeks when he handed you a specific bag, tied off at the top. You correctly guessed that it was the one containing the products you'd asked for. Aki walked back over and sits back down as Power starts to hand you snacks.

🌸 She piles your arms with junk food, decaffeinated drinks, and dark chocolate. "Aki forbade us from buying anything with caffine!" She explained, annoyed, as if the idea was inconvenient for her specifically.

🌸 "Caffine will make you feel worse than your already do." He explained, passing over a still packaged electrical heat pad and a small stuffed bear. "These are just for comfort."

🌸 After spending a bit of time them, thanking them for their help, you decided to curl up in bed and test out the heating pad. You most definitely didn't expect to find your bed with many more blankets and pillows than you'd left it with. It had effectively become a nest of comfort and Meowy was already waiting to do its part in helping you recover. The sight made your eyes water a bit.

🌸 Power had tried to cuddle with you as well, reasoning that her body heat would also help, but Aki quickly shut her down, banishing both her and Denji to the living room. To ensure they left you alone, he sat on the balcony, watching them while blowing through a pack of cigarettes. Though he'd tried not to let on, he was a bit worried about you, texting you frequently as the day drug on. He'd seen you take bullets with less trouble so it was hard to imagine what kind of pain had you doubled over in bed.

🌸 'You okay?' 'Need anything?' 'Idiots being too loud?' He'd silently check up on your throughout the day, never going to physically check unless you'd left him unanswered for longer than an hour. He wanted to let you sleep if you could.

🌸 When you felt better, you were sure to wear your mood outwardly to show them how well their caretaking had worked. You thanked them endlessly in the next few days, always willing to spend time with them to show your gratitude. Power was happy to have you at full strength again, and to once again be the center of her cat's attention. Denji was glad he would no longer be subjected to your mood swings, at least for a while. (also that Power would sneak him some of your snacks after she deemed them unnecessary due to your period ending.) Aki was just relieved to see you felt better, being the 'dad friend' of the house.

🌸 Ranking of how they handled it:

🌸 Power: 7/10

Very willing to help, just clueless of where start. She feels a kinship with you, being the only other girl in the apartment. Blood is her area of expertise, so she knows a surprising amount about what will help on a logical level, she just doesn't really get how to safely put that knowledge to practice.

🌸 Denji: 5/10

Doesn't really care as much as the others, but they're freaking out about it so it must be important! He's mainly concerned with your pain. Knowing he's seen you take some serious blows that left you with little change in demeanor, it makes him a little nervous to see you so pale and dizzy. He doesn't really know how to help, but he's not opposed to learning. He secretly does think it's pretty gross, but when Aki explains he'll have to know this stuff if he ever wants to get a girlfriend, he's a over it.

🌸 Aki: 10/10

Knows exactly what you need, thanks to his experience with the women around him, especially Himeno. She definitely overshares with him enough for him to understand what to do. He knows the fundamentals and is able to steer the other two in the right direction. Very knowledgeable and level headed, but a bit of a worrier. Will text you if you are in the bathroom too long and will remind you to pack products before you leave for work.

Let's face it, me writing for Chainsaw Man was only a matter of time, I've been cooked since the first episode.

[cod-dump]

*at a safe house*

Soap: Hey, Kyle

Gaz: Hm?

Soap: Did you, uh, hear Simon in the bathroom earlier?

Gaz: Why?

Soap: It sounded like he was fighting someone

Gaz: Uh- oh, he’s fine. He just doesn’t like it when the shower curtain touches him

Soap: What-

Ghost, loudly: UNHAND ME YOU FIEND

*sounds of something breaking*

Soap:

Gaz: Damn it, Si

[beardedmrbean]

Unhand me you fiend!!!!!

[catsbeaversandducks]

"UNHAND ME, YOU FIEND!"

Photos by Taylor Cat

[n3kk1tty]

Imagine getting the X-Men into anime.

Your three friends had been trying to find you for hours. They had no clue where you had hidden yourself away in though I guess in hind sight checking your room would have been productive. Behind the door they could hear you singing along to some song that definitely wasn't English. When they cracked it open all three peaking in like some Scooby doo level of stacking on top of each other they spotted you bouncing along as you sang the opening song. Pajamas and messy hair evident with snacks galore no wonder they couldn't find you.

Kurt immediately took the opportunity to teleport standing above you snagging the chip bag from your hand as you tried rescuing your beloved snack from the blue fiend. " Hey not fair. Unhand my salty treat you fuzzy snack taxer." The man laughs at you shaking his head as he starts shoveling chips into his mouth. "Nein. It is your tax for disappearing after training." You blow a raspberry at him as you pull him down onto the oversized bean bag with you. " I got my new anime box set I'm doing some mental relaxation. "

Remy eyes the screen plopping down on his designated bean bag before Anna Marie joins suit. " Well this don't make no sense there not speaking English. How are you supposed to watch if you're reading at the bottom of the screen. " You let out a chuckle towards the Cajun as Kurt situates himself in your lap and the bean bag like a cat finding it's seat. " Aw I'm sorry Remy. I forgot you can't read but you did interrupt my bum time." The man huffs in response chucking one of your empty soda cans at you. Anna Marie can't help laughing as you two fight him throwing cans and you use your mutation to absorb the scrap metal. Kurt to tuned into the animated figures on screen to mind the constant movement going on.

After the three kept asking too many questions of what was going on after getting too invested you decided it wouldn't hurt to just restart the series and continue your binge fest with your friends. " If we're gonna binge anime y'all need to do this right. I'll put the first tape in and get the episode ready but you three need to go get pajamas on as well and fetch us some more snacks. " You pause throwing your wallet to Anna Marie. " I ordered chinese food for us all, make sure Remy doesn't steal my cash Anna when you guys see the delivery guy. " As you say this you can spot Jubilee heading back to her room across the hall. " Hey Jubes. You wanna come watch Ranma 1/2 with us. I just got the box set in today."

The girl looks excited but pauses for a moment. " Man I haven't finished the sailor moon set you let me borrow last week yet." You share a chuckle with the young girl ruffling her head. " Don't worry about it sparkler. It's not like no one's watched two series at once before. This is the last call though when they get back with the snacks I'm not restarting the series again. " The girl gets the message running into her room to change into some comfy clothes as you get another bean bag set. Staying in the mansion even quiet time alone can turn into a mini party.

You're not sure when Logan had joined the party but he had strolled in behind Remy when he had gone to pick up the Chinese. Thank god you got used to ordering bulk food because you never knew when someone would want some of what you were eating. Plopped on your bed Logan digged into the food making passing comments about the anime eventually getting sucked into it as well long after the food was gone. It was nice to be surrounded by friends while sharing something you enjoyed. After that night having anime nights became a thing in the mansion some how a revolving door of characters would show up.

It became such a thing you and Kurt would often mimic the fights on screen.

[weirdmarioenemies]

The Critic's Arrival

It appears we've been visited by some sort of critic. We didn't order any critic! Are you a film critic? Food critic?

"The name's THE Critic- get it right! I ridicule, just out of spite! And now you've got me at your door, You've no idea what you're in for! For I'm The Critic, that's no ruse! I'm here to criticize all youse!"

Oh? You're here to criticize us...? I don't think I like whatever it is you're imply- oh, he's already invited himself in. Okay! So, Mr. The Critic, can I... get you something to drink, I guess? We certainly have a lot of water.

"That's all you offer? You're the worst! Good thing I've not much of a thirst! This living room... it's oh so drab. And are you serious? A CRAB? Your home decor is just no good. I'd burn this poster if I could! You must have all been in the dark, For not a soul likes Wonder Park!"

Come on... Boomer the Ride Tester is funny... right? Is there anything else we can do to make your stay more comfortable? And maybe make you more polite?

"I hope my message makes you cry: This home of yours is much too dry!"

Is that so? At least here in Wet-Dry World, that's easy to fix! I'll just activate this Crystal Tap and raise the water...

"This isn’t any better yet. The whole affair’s now far too wet!"

Oh... how about a more neutral level?

"The moisture level’s at its middle, But I’m afraid, too late too little! You just can't seem to be a winner! Now, with that done, let's have some dinner!"

Okay, I've been trying to be polite, but you can't just be mean to us and expect to receive a free meal for it! Spikey's only made enough potatoes au gratin for us mods!

"Oh, THAT'S the stench? It's just some gratin? I could have sworn something was rotten! I see you're near fed up with me, And knowing that fills me with glee!"

Why are you doing this, The Critic? Why us? What did we do to you?

"Well, here's what's written in my log: You lot all run a Tumblr blog! Where posts are foolish, simply silly, Goofy creatures willy-nilly! You don't need to be analytic To know you're talking to The Critic. It's how I live, it's what I do. I've come here to criticize YOU!"

Hey. Words really hurt, you know that, The Critic? But no matter what you say, you can't break our spirits! We'll post what we want no matter what you say!

"Now comes the part I love the most... rescinding your license to post!"

OUR POSTING LICENSE?! The only thing that legally allows us to post about funny pretend creatures online... you're a monster! Unhand that license this instant!

"Ha ha! Hee hee! It's too much fun! And with that, I'll be on the run! Your permit's all I need to rob. I hope you've got a backup job!"

He's gone. That utter fiend... without our posting license, we're nothing. He's right. We'll need a new job. After all this time, we'll need to return to where it all began, where all of us met for the first time, and where we all worked before starting this blog, but it was never relevant so we never mentioned it...

...the TROUT HATCHERY! See you there...

[meowmeowmeowmeow4x]

Dark Blue Moon and the Suffering Sun Chapter 17

MASPAPOST

Danny caught a distant croon, bellowing deep and powerful from under the waves. “You hear that?”

Danny didn’t wait for a response before he took Damian’s hand and placed him on his shoulder over the water. “What was it? Was it a threat?” The younger boy asked.

“You’ll see!”

Danny sped off toward the origin of the sound. As they approach the source, the rumbling tones of whale song intensified. Danny’s lateral line zapped and tinged as the massive electric field got stronger. Damian shivered on his back, arms gripping tighter. Danny wouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t a little scared too, but the excitement made up for it ten times over.

The whales were just ahead. Even with night vision, it was hard to make up their shapes underneath the dark sky, but his lateral line jumped. Danny retreated thirty feet, stopped and treaded water. He held his breathe for the big moment.

A moment later, the whale’s gigantic body smashed the ceiling of the ocean, with the force of a volcano. Waterfalls formed as the sea parted around its head, cascading and crashing thunderously. A plume of water as tall as Fentonworks blasted out of the whale’s back, showering the boys in a wet spray.

Danny’s passenger gasped. He felt Damian’s chin hitting his shoulder. Knew it.

Suddenly, another whale emerged. And another, and another. An entire pod of whales!

“This may be more beautiful than the stars…” Damian muttered.

Danny crossed his arms. “Since you’re obviously an animal kind of kid, I’ll let the blasphemy slide. For now. But I might feed you to the whales if you get testy.”

“Tut. The whales would not want me as food. I would make a much better companion than snack.”

Danny let a smirk grow. His fins stretched themselves. Danny grabbed Damian’s arms and tightened his grip. “Ready to test that hypothesis?”

“What are you doing-?!”

“Hold your breath!”

Danny surged into the water at top speed, then doubled back and rapidly made for the surface, gaining more and more speed until he launched out of the water like a flying fish. His stomach flipped as they went airborne. For a little extra flair, he arched his back and did a flip at the top of his arc. Then gravity pulled.

Danny yelled excitedly. “YEEHAWW!” As they plummeted. Instead of splashing into the water, the boys landed on soft blubber, tumbling and rolling as their momentum carried them forward.

He laughed gingerly, even as Damian crawled up to him and pounched. It was pitifully easy to hold the child at arms’ length as he scratched ineffectually at Danny’s thicker scales.

“Unhand me, you fiend! You will pay for actions! You will pay for disavowing animals in favour of the stars, and you will pay for putting the whales in harm’s way.” The boy said, kitten-like hissing accompanying every word.

“Scratch me harder Dami! Let’s see how bad you can tickle me!” Danny giggled, happily stoking the flames as the chorus of screeching reached a fever pitch.

“Do not call me that childish nickname!” Damian scowled, hackles raising. In an attempt to escape Danny’s hold, the boy raised his tailfin and slapped him over the head. A worthwhile tactic, but Danny had been slapped in the head by much more powerful tailfins before.

“Is the wittle baby getting grumpy over his new nickname?” He snickered. For extra dominance, he flipped himself and squished Damian underneath his body, squishing the boy’s fins flat.

“We shall we who laughs now, fool!” Damian said, And Danny realised his blunder too quickly. Damian turned his head, opened his mouth, and give Danny’s gills a good, long lick.

Firstly: GROSS.

Secondly: HOLY SHIT THAT TICKLED.

Even though they were shut due to being above water, that didn’t make them any less sensitive. The sudden ticklish sensation has him jumping back with a yelp.

With the advantage returned to him, Damian pounced on his weakness. Danny reached out to catch him again, but instead, Damian twisted in the air. The natural mucus of his scales let him slip between Danny’s fingers, where Damian went for the throat. The boy wrapped his body and tail around the older siren’s windpipe, constricting like a snake.

“I hereby declare victory.” Damian said, tiny body radiating smugness.

“Dami. Dami. Please. Can you stop strangling me?” Danny casually requested. “I totally concede, bro.”

Damian tightened his grip. “Only if you apologise.” He harrumphed.

“Apologise for what?”

“Calling me by that childish nickname. Only Richard does that, and he is too stupid to live anyway, which is why I allow it.”

“Aww, did you just call me smart? I’m touched.”

Damian hissed loudly. It was supposed to be intimidating, but man did he sound like a kitten right now. Dora once told him really young sirens even meowed. What he would give to see that happen to Dami.

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry for threatening to feed you to the whales.” Danny said, lying with his fingers crossed (a very impressive feat, considering they were webbed).

“And?”

“And for calling you Dami.” He lied again, through his teeth.

“And?”

Danny paused. “Oh, the whales. Dude, we have a symbiotic relationship, it’s literally fine.”

That got Damian to loosen the hold he had on Danny’s throat. “Elaborate.”

“Lots of animals ride on whales, like, ugh, dolphins. And I really need this break. You’re not the one swimming literally all day for hundreds of miles.”

Damian hummed, face scrunching up in deep thought. “We can continue making progress without stopping for the night to sleep. It is a worthy plan.”

“Plus, we can protect these guys from any danger, like poachers or whatever. It’s why they’re been pretty chill with us being here.”

That finally managed to convince him. Damian confirmed his approval with a curt nod. “It is agreeable then.”

Just as he spoke, the ‘ground’ beneath them started sinking.

“Word of warning, you’re gonna have to fill your lungs with water.” Damian blanched. Poor kid. “Don’t worry! I promise it’s not as bad as learning to breath air. Now help me get this harness around the big girl, so we don’t get swept away.”

Jazz Fenton tapped her pencil on her notebook. She tapped it again, and again in a frantic rhythm.

She knew it wasn’t healthy. It was like staring at your empty wallet for hours hoping money would appear out of nowhere instead of finding a job or doing something productive like cleaning up, only she was staring at her messages. Fifty missed calls. If she was honest, Danny’s phone was probably at the bottom of the sea.

Little brother, what have you gotten into this time?

She didn’t have magic, like Sam, or insane hacking skills like Tucker, or superpowers like Danny. All she could do is hopelessly stare at a phone, wishing for things to be ok (but not actually wishing, because who knows when Desiree could be lurking).

The day she caught Danny changing, the day the horrible truth came to her like a revelation from Cthuhlu was the scariest day of her life.

She supposed it was now only the second scariest.

She remembered watching him sneak behind the pier, deserted thanks to an earlier attack, desperate to find some way to help Danny. Jazz laughed at her previous self’s naivety. How she wished it had been something simple like bullying or crushes. Instead, she looked on as Danny stripped down and jumped into the water (she was so ready to run out and reprimand him for skinny dipping. What if someone saw?).

Instead, she went into full-blown panic as a column of bubbles popped at the surface, the horrifying reality of drowning pounding in her mind. But as she’d reached for her phone to call her parents, already in a full sprint to pull her brother out, she saw him.

Translucent skin, blinding white and pitch dark scales. It was from there that the horrifying reality of her situation dawned on her.

How long could she protect her brother from her parents? How long could she protect her family from the truth?

Muffled sounds crept into her room. Metal clashed against metal. Blow torches buzzed. Buzz saws roared. Jazz knew exactly what was going on. Her parents were on the war path. They were making weapons. Weapons to hunt down their own flesh and blood. They had been working, day in and day out. The only time she’d seen them in the last two days was at the beginning of their work spree, when they called her to the living room to inform her of Danny’s disappearance.

Bile boiled in her throat. Jazz clamped her jaw shut. She had to maintain composure, she had to keep calm. But what could she do?

It was not her secret to tell. Danny’s unfiltered fear was as readable as the ABCs. He didn’t even know she was in on it. If she told their parents, he may never trust her again, and rightly.

Jazz put the pencil down, electing to waste time by scrolling news feeds instead. Dozens of articles about the disappearance of Damian Wayne. Barely any lip service for Danny.

Even if she did tell them, she had no reason to be sure it would even work. Their parents loved them. That was undeniable. She saw it in the boisterous cheers when their Dad celebrated their achievements. Both of them. She saw it in the way they dragged her and Danny out on road trips and boat trips and to the psychology seminars and space expos.

But they also loved their work, and hated sirens.

And the scariest thing of all was that, for all she told herself that she knew they would choose their children over their obsession?

Deep, deep down, buried inside her heart in a box she would’ve told Danny was unhealthy to keep, she was uncertain. As she listened to her parents working in the basement, she knew the cost would be too great.

Years of memories flashed by in Jazz’s mind. Each moment, each word and each action put on a scale between acceptance and rejection. Between a happy ending and the most tragic possibilities. But even as she worked and pondered and agonized, she felt the filter of bias and emotion clouding her judgement. These were her parents and her brother. Any analysis of them would be steeped in her own perspective.

If she exposed her brother, and her parents failed the test, it would very well be the end of this family right then and there. And then it might even be the end of Danny. Even if he survived what their parents would try to him, his heart might not.

And if she didn’t say anything? If she allowed her parents to go out there?

The basement had been silent for a while. A knock on the door.

“Sweetie? Can I come in?” Mom said. Jazz’s breath hitched.

“Come in, mom!” She could not hide the naked anxiety.

Her mother opened the door. Her hood was down, revealing disheveled hair and bags under her eyes. “Sweetie, I’ve got news.”

“About Danny?” Jazz asked. She moved to sit on the bed, inviting her mother to do the same. She had to strain to avoid clenching the mattress and showing her stress.

“We have reason to think he’s still out there, that Phantom took him alive for whatever reason.” Her mother said, voice tight. “Your father and I are going. We’re going to track down Phantom, and make him give us Danny back.”

Jazz’s nerves shot up, even though she knew that was what they were planning. Her parents were not passive people. To hear their intentions stated in plain words was a shock to the system.

Her mother took her silence as concern. She laid her hands on Jazz’s shoulder, the same as she’d always do to comfort her. “It’ll be alright, Jazzy. We’ll save your brother, no matter what.”

“When are you leaving?” She asked. Maybe she could sneak in and sabotage their weapons, and give Danny a better chance.

“In an hour.” That was no time at all! Jazz’s forehead went damp. A drop of sweat rolled down her cheeks. “Don’t worry about us, ok? We’ve already asked Vlad to come check in on you and help with groceries while we’re away. I know you’re already a brilliant and inde-,”

“NO!” Jazz yelled out, before cringing at her outburst.

There was no man on the planet she would less like to be alone with than Vladimir fucking Masters. After catching one of their fights, it was very clear that he was the one responsible for what happened to Danny.

“I mean. I want to come with you.” Her mother blinked.

“Sweetie, it’s dangerous, and-”

Jazz thought fast. “Mom, those sirens took my little brother away. I want to get him back too. I can help!”

She narrowed her eyes, and clenched her jaw. She assigned herself a mission to keep her parents away from her brother at that moment. On the outside, it looked like she was pumped to help them get to him.

Her mother paused, her eyes going downcast. Her parents had always tried to get her and her brother involved in their work, in siren hunting, only to be rebuffed as they found their own interest. For her parents, this was what she always wanted, and Jazz could tell the weight her words held.

Jazz pressed the attack. “I can help man the systems. You’ve taken us so many times now. And you’ll need my help to maintain your emotional balance over the course of such a harrowing journey. This is what I was born to do.”

Her mother pursed her lip, a sign she was very convinced, and yet fighting a way to say no.

Loud footsteps behind her. “I say we let her, Mads!” Her father shouted.

Her mom startled. “Jack, honey, it’s too dangerous.”

“The Fentons look out for their family, Maddie. Our little girl’s growing up, Maddie, and if she doesn’t wanna be cooped up in the house and watch us get Danno back, then why should she?”

Her parents stared at each other for a moment. Her dad grinned, and nodded vigorously. Her mother stood firm.

After a while, her posture finally relaxed. “Fine, but promise that you’ll be careful, and you listen to us very carefully, ok? This is a real siren hunt.”

“Mom, we’ve been hit by real siren attacks all summer. Whatever hits us, I’ll be right by your side.”

Right by their side, and sabotaging them every minute of the way.

Her dad clapped his hands. “Welp. That’s settled then! Pack your bags Jazz-pants. We’re leaving in an hour! We need to make the finishing touches, and then the Fentons will set sail!”

It turned out that they were not immediately setting sail as her dad had implied. Her suitcase and belongings safely tucked away in her room on the new and improved SAV, Jazz sat in the back seat as her father’s usual frantic but calculated driving brought them to stop outside Sanchez Hotel. Wait, wasn’t this where-

There he was. Bruce Wayne, somehow looking immaculate despite the stress the man was probably under. He’d probably spent a life-time hiding his emotions away, practicing it like an art form.

Crap, she was doing the thing again.

“You didn’t tell me Bruce Wayne was joining us!” She said, scandalised.

Her mom opened the door for him, greeting him as he settled in the seats, looking more than a little nervous as he double and triple checked his seatbelt.

“That’s because we weren’t sure he’d agree, sweetie. But Phantom took his son too, so it was only natural that we’d invite him. Bruce, meet Jazz, she’s our daughter.”

Bruce Wayne extended a cordial smile and offered his hands. Jazz took it warily. “It’s nice to meet you, Jazz. You can call me Bruce too.”

“It’s a pleasure, Mr Way- I mean Bruce. Sorry.”

“That’s quite alright. You’re very brave for agreeing to come.” He said.

“I wasn’t going to let my parents dash off into the sunset alone. Danny’s my brother too, and I’ve been taught how to operate most of my parents’ stuff.” Jazz said.

She couldn’t catch his next words. Her nerves were rearing up again, instincts yelling danger, danger. She searched within herself for the cause. Then her eyes landed on Bruce’s. And for a moment, just a brief moment, the casual gaze shifted into something intense. Like she was staring up at a scalpel.

And Jazz knew that the playboy personality was an act. Immediately her plans changed. Courses of actions rewritten. Suddenly her mission was about to become much more difficult.

[gomzdrawfr]

UNHAND ME YOU FIENDS

OH IT'S ON

@bravosix-goingferal141 @queermentaldisaster 

[ovur]

Personally I would break up with someone who litters like we would have a discussion first but if it doesn't stop we're over. First of all you don't listen. Second, to simply toss around your napkins and bottles and plasticware and just leave them wherever they may lay...? Unhand me fiend

[stiffyck]

"Unhand me you fiend!" But it's grian yelling "Untit me you fiend!" at Scar who's captured him between his tits

[multiversal-pudding]

Just. Thinking about Uzi as like. To me, Uzi always struck me as “the person who cares a ton in a world that just doesn’t, and has become bitter and angry at seeing other people not share that same level of care”

Like- on several levels Uzi’s shown herself to be a really caring person despite her angsty and angry demeanor-

her desire to build the railgun, especially in context of her ultimately turning around on N and helping/befriending him, feels like her motive (as well as finally getting respect and being something other than the weirdo loner/Khan’s disappointment daughter) is ultimately “I want to go actually help people instead of just letting the world out there burn”

Her and N stepping in to save the others, stepping in to save Thad, hell, the first thing she yells on entering prom is “UNHAND THEM YOU FIEND”, which. Very overdramatic nerd of her, but it also suggests on some level at least saving the others *was* actively on the forefront of her mind (even if it might be at least partly in a “wanting to look cool” way)

The fact that she got so attached to the Murder Drones, sympathizing with their needing to drink oil (even before that became direct empathy) and deciding it’s best if they work together

Hell- she might’ve had the comical underreaction statement of “I’m gross and eating people” when N was talking to her, but like that’s more than Braiden reacted when he killed someone, plus part of it was the fact she was talking to N- like. He’s done a lot of murder. Like. So much. (More headcanony but like. Maybe part of why she focused on her fears of him leaving her was that on some level she recognized that focusing on her horror over the murder might’ve unintentionally hurt him again? (I know I’ve had times where the main thing I thought about while actively having a meltdown was “but what if this is getting in the way?!”-))

Even in terms of personal relationships, it really does feel like once anyone gets over that initial wall, she gets attached to people very fast- she’s already getting open and vulnerable with N, and like someone else pointed out, her insult at V felt half-assed- Heck, after getting a brief window of clarity from her feral rage in ep 4, her first response to V moving in for the kill/the worst pain she’s probably ever felt is just to beg to see her friend…

Like- this isn’t to say she’s necessarily Nice- I think she should be allowed to be rough around the edges, she’s bitey and bitter, and honestly with how people treat her it might be warranted? Emily was the cross gesture REALLY necessary-

But also- I think that a major part of her is just. She’s defined by passion, be it for her projects or for her interactions with others. She’s a person who hasn’t gotten enough attention and has started to lash out and instinctively push people away first, but like. She’s got a lot of love in her I think, a lot of love that’s had nowhere to go in a way it’d be reciprocated for a long time… (also Ep 1 might’ve given her/reenforced some abandonment issues tm which. Fun)

[ask-viggo-and-dagur]

*pats Viggo* Can I keep patting you? 🥹

Unhand me now, you fiend!

[adobedragon]

"Pidge, you've been in the lab for ten hours." Lance clapped his hands to draw her attention away from the holoscreen.

She hunched her shoulders and leaned closer to the screen, fingers swiping and rearranging code. "Almost done."

"You said that three hours ago. When's the last time you ate?"

She paused and shot him a guilty glance over her glasses. "I dunno."

"You haven't eaten since breakfast, have you?"

"Mmmm, may-be?"

He stalked over to the workstation. "That's it. We're going home." He gently but firmly collected her in his arms, all while she reached toward the keyboard like a child pulled from a favorite toy.

"Nooo!" she protested.

"Yes."

"Unhand me, you fiend!" She glowered at him.

"You love this fiend. Kiss me."

"No. No kisses for you. You're impeding the advancement of science. Luddite."

"That's Mr. Luddite to you. Kiss me anyway."

Surrendering, because she always did, she kissed him, although she punctuated the kiss with a playful nip to his lower lip.