#'precisely' this 'obviously' that. love how much emotions he can convey in just one word

[beaulesbian]

Star Trek: The Original Series 2x9 Most unusual. Unlikely. In fact, captain, I would say quite impossible.

[ganymedesclock]

[enters the cat door.] Pale King? :)

PK is great because while we get a lot of impressions of what he's capable of, overwhelmingly his work is left for us, self-evident and finished, in such a state that we are not given hints on how he did it or what he did. This obviously has a lot of canon significance to who he is as a person-

(especially when the nature of much of that work is itself somewhat inscrutable; how exactly does he record his voice in whispering stones that only speak to certain parties when the rest of the setting is limited to actually writing things down?)

-but basically what it amounts to is that it's headcanons all the way down, baybey.

PK is... obsessed. This, to me, is the thing that stands out to me at an immediate glance of anything he was capable of. He fashions himself as a rational arbiter; possibly even a thing emotionless, unbiased, but really, it's obvious that certain ideas drove him so powerfully that anything, including unimaginable agonies and cruelties- barely factor. His mind as we explore it has very few guards that try to drive us out and kill us, few true barriers that stop us from moving forwards- but an enormous, vicious, whirling mechanism, beautiful and terrible, that polices every inch we move. You can proceed, the white palace says, if you're perfect. If your timing is perfect, if you never dare the metal teeth that surround you, if you choose exactly the right things and move only as the space is designed to move- and if you are willing to suffer, truly and awfully, then you can proceed, the palace is yours, it is open and the barest adversity will stop you.

This is not the mind of a person who lets things go easily. This is not the mind of a person who is actually detached. This is a beautiful machine, elaborate, precisely calibrated, and it makes miracles.

And it is, quite frankly, an absolute inhospitable nightmare. It might as well be the surface of the moon, not for alienness, but for the sheer ludicrous notion that anyone could live or love there. His mind is a haunted house to end all haunted houses; it'd be a fine locale to find in Silent Hill. The few rooms that actually seem like recollections of real places- the nursery, the workshop, the throne room- are all unsettling in different ways.

The nursery is the loveliest and also the most unattainable; a place for two people who are never coming back to the person who left them behind in the first place and didn't even set a chair for himself- the workshop is cluttered, creepy and miserable, nowhere you'd expect a god to make miracles; the throne room is bleak and dark, and has pillars set like fangs and the only chair so hard and uncomfortable it won't save your progress or give your player character a second of rest.

There is only one mention, anywhere in the game, of coldness associated with anything even adjacent to PK- the description of the pale ore characterizes it as "emanating an icy chill"- and when I remind myself of this, actually go looking for it, it shocks me. PK, to me, is so powerfully and intensely an ice person. Not just in the superficial senses- oh, he's cold, oh, he's callous, oh, he suppresses his emotions and opposes the fiery, sun-aligned Radiance; but that while neither of these gods have any ability to "get over it" whatsoever, the way they hold onto things is drastically polar opposite.

Radiance boils. Simmers. Screams and writhes and rages and pulses to her emotions. Those infected by her plague begin to feel as if they are burning alive the more her influence extends. She is a heat that stokes itself higher and higher and higher, to frenzy and fury, and the coldest it can get is if she methodically banks herself down to coals to pretend for a single utilitarian moment she's not as angry as she is, so she can whisper sweet words just long enough to coax someone onto the cinders.

PK... freezes over. He holds onto things perfectly, as if they never left, as if they never changed. When you walk over the nursery memory it looks just like White Lady could come by and put an infant Hollow in the cradle and sit down to rock them to sleep. It's so clean. So expectant. So empty.

And yet, there's something completely inhospitable to life about it. How could anyone live here? How could anyone be happy here? The game Silent Hill: Shattered Memories has a theme of a happy childhood frozen over in invading ice; that's very much what comes to mind here, even if Hollow's childhood was troubled long before they'd have anything to do with this room. PK ices over, is a person who stopped his own heart at one point just to serve another purpose and, superficially indifferently, left that body behind to rot without any sort of respect or acknowledgement. @rukafais drew a headcanon a very long time ago to the idea that PK could just will his own blood to stop flowing, and that's long one I've stuck with- a living person who is at odds with himself because of this absolute glacial inhospitality.

PK is also... clever. Inventive. One could almost argue too clever for his own good. If there's one way his obsessions are utterly unaffected by this ice and sense of detachment, it's that while Radiance is revolted by, fears and hates the void, PK... was fascinated by it. It's probably the most dangerous non-Radiance thing in the kingdom to him and yet he built his palace right next to the abyss; built a great lighthouse and a smaller alcove room that- unlike the spaces in his own mind- you can actually imagine him sitting, maybe for hours, maybe for days- just staring at the void sea. Dropping things into its grasp only to fetch them back out. Pouring it into shapes, and seeing how it held.

This also seems to convey itself in the shapes that his magic takes, or that similar pale white magic in other places (such as around the dreamers' monument) form; they are extremely intricate. Impossible filigrees of light that dangle in the air. Nowhere is this more obvious than the Pure Vessel fight, the moment where Hollow is remembering what they once were- at the point they were trying to be everything PK wanted of them, everything PK cares about. Hollow's attacks in that fight are beautiful. Ornate. The temporary spikes summoned from the ground have the same woven, 'watered' pattern that we see on the Pure Nail once Ghost acquires it.

So these ideas, of PK- icy stillness, obsessive detail, and insatiable curiosity- condensed for me a lot into how I imagine him fighting or handling situations. I imagine him as fighting with a spear very keenly- not just long reach, but that I associate PK very strongly in my mind with the concept of dissection and vivisection. Everything in its place, labeled, named, and known, consecrated by the light with identity and purpose- the hungry, predatory curiosity of a hunter picking apart prey, but with enough academic backing that they're looking for something more than the juiciest pieces to eat.

So, I imagine PK fighting with spears, and impaling or cutting implements... in that I imagine him fighting like a surgeon, pinning and mounting something or herding it into place.

[kozumekenza]

on my mind :: five

:: suna rintarou x f!reader :: playlist :: masterlist ::

:: taglist: open :: wc: 2.2k ::

After a drunken one-night stand with your ex, you thought you could get him out of your life for good. Unfortunately, the two of you can’t seem to keep away from each other. Why can’t you leave each other alone? And more importantly, why is he still on your mind?

tw: alcohol, profanity, mentions of sex

author’s note: this chapter is v self-indulgent + fluffy but i hard a hard time getting it to flow while covering everything, so i’m sorry if it some parts seem kinda confusing. as always, thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy this chapter <3

After another week of deliberation, you were no closer to determining if another relationship with Suna would be worth a shot. You didn’t hear from him or speak to him at practice, even after you rejoined the team on the court later in the week. He kept his distance, seemingly wary of talking to you after you left him at his kitchen table Saturday morning. 

You weren’t quite sure what to make of it. Based on his reaction Saturday, you guessed he was probably pissed at you, and you didn’t blame him. He had specifically warned you about regrets on Friday night, and you completely blew him off, just to tell him you regretted everything the next day. It was a dick move on your part, and you understood that. There weren’t any excuses; it was simply your drunk versus sober self warring against each other. 

Nonetheless, you still felt awful. You kept your distance; you didn’t want to further anger Suna with your presence. During practice, you kept to the sidelines, performing your duties with a calculating eye and absolute precision. 

Still, by the end of the week, you were exhausted. Besides the intense contemplation you were performing in your head, work was also draining. Sakusa Kiyoomi sprained his wrist (apparently, it happened quite often), Yaku Morisuke nearly tore his ACL (a devastating injury for a libero), and on top of it all, Hinata Shoyo somehow managed to break two toes, his pinky finger, and got a concussion. Top it all off with the fact that Tobio Kageyama was always hovering over Hinata when he was injured, questioning your every move, and you had a recipe for disaster (or at least extreme exhaustion). By the time Friday’s afternoon practice was finished, you were ready to fall asleep while standing up.

You said your goodbyes to the team, approved the weekend’s schedule with Iwaizumi (it was your turn to work Sunday’s practice match), and took the train home. After unlocking your apartment, you debated whether or not you should go straight to bed without dinner or suck it up and make something quick and easy. In the end, your desire to not wake up starving at five in the morning won, and you went to change before starting dinner. You threw on some old running shorts and Suna’s stolen jersey, which had become your new favorite sleep shirt (who could blame you, it was comfortable as hell). 

However, a quick search through your cabinets and fridge showed that you had almost no food, whatsoever. Not a big deal, you could just run to the convenience store down the street. 

So you did, with no makeup, dressed in sleep clothes, hair in a messy bun. 

Grabbing a basket, you made your way around the small store, ignoring the stares you received from other customers (you chose to believe it was just because of your tangled hair, but you knew it was because you were wearing a Japanese National Team jersey). You picked up some eggs and noodles for ramen, along with some broth. You were in the frozen food aisle, considering the merits of cookies and cream versus matcha ice cream, when someone tentatively called your name.

You spun around, cursing yourself for not at least putting on a jacket, when you began to curse yourself even more for wearing the stupid jersey. 

You came face to face with Suna Rintarou, who was considering you with a pained expression on his face. 

“Hey, Suna,” you switched your basket from one hip to the other, “what are you doing here?”

He held up the package in his hand. Jelly fruit sticks. “Had a craving.”

You inclined your head. “Cool.”

“What about you?”

You looked down at the basket. “Needed stuff to make ramen.”

He nodded, then looked off to the side before looking back at you. “Um, y/n, who’s jersey is that?”

Panicking, you laughed. “Just an extra I found.”

“Really? It has my name on the back.”

Shit. “Oh, well, must be a coincidence, I guess.”

He cocked his head to the side. “I also lost mine a few weeks ago.”

“Oh wow, that’s awful, I’m sorry.” You turned, trying to make an escape.

“Y/n.”

You looked back at Suna. “Yeah?”

“That’s my jersey.”

You laughed again, dread really becoming apparent now. “What? No way.”

Suna just continued looking at you. “Your bra is at my apartment.”

You quickly shook your head. “No-”

“So is your torn skirt.”

“No, tha-”

“We slept together.”

“Yeah, but only-”

“Twice.”

“No, def-”

“And you knew.”

You were really starting to panic, hands waving around, like that would somehow convince him. “No, no, no.”

Suna looked you in the eye. “We need to talk.”

You sighed, accepting defeat. “Yeah, I guess we do.”

---

After awkwardly paying for your food and an even more awkward walk back to your apartment, you and Suna were finally in private.

“D’ya want anything to drink? Water, soda, juice? Wine, something a little stronger? Vodka?”

Suna just sighed, shrugging out of his jacket. “Water’s fine, thanks.”

You poured him a glass of water and yourself a glass of wine, but not before taking a few shots of vodka. You were going to need it to get through this. You approached with the glasses, setting one down in front of Suna before curling up on the other end of the couch. 

“Nice place you got.”

“Thanks.” You sipped from your glass, waiting for Suna to make the first move. When it became apparent that he wasn’t going to speak until you did, you spoke up. “I’m-”

“We-”

You laughed, setting down your glass. “You can go first.”

Suna took a deep breath. “We both have fucked up, in the past and now. I’ll admit it. The way I treated you in high school was shitty, and it’s taken me a long time to own up to it. I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you back then. And I don’t know if it’s you getting back at me, or purely coincidental, but I’m kinda hurt that you hid this from me. I mean, for fuck’s sake, y/n, I talked about it in front of you. And you just kept quiet!” You silently watched as Suna took a sip of water. “I guess my main question is why. Why didn’t you say anything to me? Were you just hoping that I would never find out?”

You assessed Suna, allowing yourself a moment to think. “I didn’t hide it from you to get back at you. I’ve long since forgiven you for all of the shit in high school, and it wasn’t just you. I was immature and insecure back then, so for what it’s worth, I’m sorry too. I think I didn’t say anything because I was scared. I mean, I woke up that morning in your apartment, with no memory of the night before, and I hadn’t seen you in eight years. I had no clue what happened or why I was there. I didn’t know why you were in Tokyo, and honestly, I thought you would’ve been disgusted. We hadn’t spoken to each other in a long, long time. I didn’t want our first meeting after all those years to be an awkward morning-after. And about the jersey,” you laughed a little to yourself, “that was pure coincidence. I had no clue what I had taken until I got home, and I had no idea how to return it.”

Suna nodded, seemingly thinking something over before speaking. “I forgive you. I’m not even that upset about everything, to be honest. I think it just kind of hurts that you kept it from me. And I’ll admit, I was really bothered when you just left last Saturday. I don’t know how much of what you said Friday night is true, and I was a little drunk too, but I meant everything. I didn’t want you to have any regrets, and I don’t regret it.” He chuckled to himself, “I mean obviously, I wish we had slept together under different circumstances, and I wish that you didn’t regret it either, because it clearly made you upset.”

“I think it just took me by surprise, that was all. I had promised myself that I wouldn’t get drunk and sleep with you again, and I did exactly that. I was upset at myself, and I took it out on you. I’m sorry.” You made eye contact with him, hoping that your eyes could convey the emotions that your words could not. “For what it’s worth, I meant everything as well. I did miss you, all those years we were apart, but I hope you understand why I had to leave back then. We were tearing each other apart, constantly. I had to do the hard thing and get out before there was nothing left.” Tears started to well up in your eyes, and you quickly wiped them away. “I had to leave. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, because I loved you,” your voice broke, “no, because I still love you, so much. For eight years, I focused on bettering myself, and I tried every single day to forget about you, but you were always on my mind. And I was terrified when I saw you again, fuck, I’m still terrified. But you’re my best friend, you always have been, and I love you, Rin.” You couldn’t stop the tears that were flowing now, after bearing your heart. You let Suna pull you in, and cried into his chest as he stroked your hair and whispered calming words. When the tears finally stopped, you remained tucked into Suna, your head underneath his chin. 

“I never stopped thinking about you, or loving you.” Now Suna was the one who sounded close to tears. “You can ask ‘Tsumu. I always asked him for updates on you. I remember, when I got my National Team letter, the first thing I did was ask ‘Tsumu if you’d be a trainer here. I kept up with you, and I knew you had just completed your training with another team. So I knew you were gonna be here, and I thought, maybe, just maybe, this was my chance. Our chance to fix the whole ‘right person, wrong time’ thing we had. ‘Cause that’s what I’m convinced it was. We just didn’t know how to balance each other out yet or how to be in a real relationship yet. We were still kids, learning about ourselves and the world. When you left, I was determined to not make it the last time I ever saw you. I knew you had to leave, had to find your place in the world, without me. I never blamed you. You did the hard part by leaving. What you didn’t know, though,” Suna hugged you a little closer, “is that I was always there, right next to you, cheering you on.” Now the both of you were crying. “I want to fix things with you, make things right. If there’s anything I learned last Friday,” Suna gave a wet laugh, “it’s that we can still talk to each other, and we can do it better than we ever did. I want to be with you, again. I want there to be an us, again.”

You sat up a little, putting some space between the two of you. This, you weren’t so sure about. You looked to the side, trying to avoid Suna’s pleading eye contact. “Rin,” you looked back up at him, “you know I love you. You know I missed you so, so much. But I just need a little bit more time. And I’m sorry to even ask you-”

“Shh, shh, it’s okay.” He held you close as you began crying again. “I understand, I do. I’ll wait, as long as you need me too, I’ll wait for you. Just promise me that you’ll let me know when you’re ready.”

You nodded against his chest. “I promise, Rintarou. Thank you.”

You stayed there, head on his chest, just listening to his heartbeat. It felt as if a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. It was nice to get everything off of your chest, to figure out where the both of you stood with each other. It was nice to know that you would have the time and space to sort your head out, to fully work out if a relationship with Suna was a good idea or not. There were still so many aspects of your high school relationship that you had pushed to the side years ago, and you needed to sort through it. You needed to separate that Suna from this Suna, the old you from the present you. You needed time to be in a better mental state, one where you could give him your all. 

But you knew, no matter how much time it took, Suna would be waiting for you. 

---

When Suna finally left your apartment, it was hours and a teary goodbye later. You promised to keep in touch, and he promised to give you time and space. 

You went to bed feeling significantly lighter, dreaming about a future where you could fall asleep on Suna’s chest every single night. 

taglist: @sunasexual @call-me-lulu​ @ntimacy​ @circleglasses​ @porcolie​ @keikotaro 

[johnshelbystoothpick]

'NO MORE HIDING'

[PETER MAXIMOFF X FEM!OC]

WARNINGS — explicit sexual references, strong language

WORD COUNT — 1,608

PROMPT(S) — “just a little more” & “i want everyone to know that you’re mine”

TRANSLATIONS — koroleva; queen

WRITTEN FOR — @lazylangdon’s one shots contest, round four (smut); she is also the one who was kind enough to make the above graphic for me! <3

———

“If we get caught, Maximoff, I’m going to fucking kill you.”

Peter quirks his signature grin, all cockiness and bravado with no trace of humility to be seen. If Peter Maximoff is capable of embarrassment, it is not something that has ever been witnessed by another human being. Certainly not by Arcadia, at least, and she is quite literally capable of feeling his emotions - something she ordinarily finds useful, but in such circumstances as these the arousal radiating off of him in waves threatens to submerge her in a sea of eroticism.

“I love it when you’re feisty,” he growls lowly, dipping his head so that silver hair brushes against her sharp cheekbones. It tickles, but the sensation is sensual as opposed to playful which one may consider strange for somebody with as natural an affinity for immaturity as Peter. If Arcadia has learned over the past few months that the Peter Maximoff the world sees is not the whole man but rather a fragment projected.

Her fingers twitch with the need to move and suddenly Arcadia finds herself sympathetic to Peter’s everyday plight because this must be how he feels in any given situation: like things are moving too slowly. Torturously, agonisingly slow.

“I’ve never really understood the whole academic spiel,” Peter says after a lengthy pause, “but damn if thinking so hard doesn’t look hot on you, Brodeur.”

She rolls her eyes, more exasperated than annoyed, and her hands find the collar of his shirt. Yanking him forward with more force than strictly necessary, Arcadia effectively swallows his sharp intake of breath when her lips crash against his own.

It’s messy and without preamble, as is always the case when the two of them can find a spare moment alone away from the prying eyes of telepathic professors and fathers who aren’t yet aware that their adult son is living under the same roof as he is, currently making out with his girlfriend in an abandoned classroom two floors above his bedroom. There is still the raw passion that consumes Arcadia whenever Peter is in her presence, but the tenderness is quashed in favour of the rapid removal of clothing and skin-on-skin contact which drives her dizzy with desire every time.

“Are you done with the whole hate sex act?” Peter questions, one eyebrow raised. He’s obviously amused, almost definitely aroused if his body’s natural reaction is any indication, and looking at Arcadia through pupils blown wide with lust.

She brings a hand up to his cheek, cradles it for a moment, then lightly drags her nails across his cherry red, kiss-swollen lips. “Just a little more,” she whispers, breaths tapering into uneven huffs when she feels Peter’s hands weaving through dark tresses and lightly tugging the strands with just the right amount of pressure that the pain is gratifying. “How am I supposed to be annoyed with you when you make me feel like this?”

“It’s all part of my natural charms,” he claims brazenly, breath hot against the shell of her ear. The phantom sensation of his words across her skin sends a stimulating jolt of pleasure through her entire body. “Now, do you wanna talk or do you wanna make out?”

“God, you are such a boy,” she scoffs, slapping his arm lightly. It may have been effective in conveying her point, but it only makes Peter’s salacious smirk widen as he grabs her wrist and pins it above her head with a victorious expression.

“You love me for it,” he states.

It is not a question, though Arcadia finds herself nodding along nonetheless. “And what if I do? I could show you just how much, if you like…” She bats her eyelids with a faux innocent expression.

Peter groans, the sound deep and guttural. With her unrestrained hand pressed flat against his chest, she can feel the vibration of the sound. “Don’t say shit like that right now,” he warns, “I’ve gotta meet Jubilee for training in fifteen and she’ll never let me live this down.”

Finally, it’s Arcadia’s turn to smirk as she glances down at his hardening erection. “Not my problem, Pietro.”

Something she has come to learn in recent weeks is just how much her boyfriend enjoys being referred to by his given name in any circumstance, but especially when they are alone and domesticated, so to speak. The pressure on her wrist increases for a second before Peter relaxes, exhaling slowly.

“You’re a fucking tease, Arcadia Brodeur.”

“Don’t you forget it.”

He leans forward to capture her lips in a kiss which is so uncharacteristically soft that it takes her by surprise. His tongue moves languidly, glides effortless with hers as though they were destined to come together in some synchronised dance, and a plethora of metaphorical fireworks explode in the small room they are encased in.

“I love you,” he says against her lips, repeating the words a dozen times when his mouth leaves hers to trail wet, open-mouthed kisses across the expanse of the exposed flesh of her neck. His teeth lightly graze her collarbone, then again in the same place with a sharper bite, and Arcadia lets out a sound somewhere between a moan and a shriek at the paroxysms of pleasurable pain it leaves in its wake.

“I love you,” he rasps once more, tongue flicking out to soothe the stinging pain he had caused. Arcadia finds herself missing it, though the expert way that Peter works his tongue against her flesh more than makes up for the loss. “And I want everyone to know that you’re mine.”

He brushes his lips against her palm before finally releasing his hold on her wrist which hangs limply at her side for a moment before both of her arms wrap around his neck, clasped at his nape. The ensuing staring contest is charged with electric energy, the sexual tension so palpable one could almost certainly reach out and touch it.

“I love you too,” she says at long last when the silence has run its course. “I just wish we didn’t continue to hide away like this is something to be ashamed of.”

He cups her cheeks, thumbs rubbing soothing circles into the grooves of her cheekbones. “I’m not ashamed of us, koroleva,” he insists firmly, “I just didn’t want to put any strain on our relationship with the whole Daddy Issues thing I’ve got going on here right now.”

“You’re an idiot,” she deadpans, “if you think I wouldn’t want to be here with you every step of the way, Peter. Even if your dad is terrifying…”

“Nah, he’s a softie really,” Peter claims, “otherwise he’d have smothered me in my sleep by now with how annoying I act around him.”

“Just around him?”

Peter mock gasps. “I am hurt, Arcadia. Shocked and hurt.”

“You should get over it pretty fast, Quicksilver,” she teases before unlooping her arms and giving his abs a firm pat. “You’d better go now before Jubilee sends out a search party.”

They both know that she would, so Peter doesn’t object beyond a frustrated sigh.

“Maybe deal with that first, though,” she adds. Her hand reaches out to lightly palm him through his jeans, revelling in the ensuing groan he emits as the heat travels from her cheeks to her clit in a way that causes her knees to quiver. She hooks her thumbs into the belt loops of his jeans to steady herself.

For a moment, neither of them speak. They aren’t confident that they could string together a coherent sentence with their hips grinding together with unadulterated lust; their ragged breaths indiscernible from one another’s so that it seems impossible to know where Peter Maximoff ends and Arcadia Brodeur begins.

“To be continued,” he pants after a minute or so has passed. He takes a step back but doesn’t tear his hooded gaze away from the dishevelled Arcadia. “We’ve got unfinished business here.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Arcadia responds, excitement rushing through her at the thought of continuing their little rendezvous. It’s excruciating to have to wait, but she figures having sex in a classroom with windows overlooking the lake where hoards of people seem to be more often than not probably isn’t the wisest decision, no matter how much she and Peter may enjoy the thrill of sneaking around so carelessly. The soft, red lace of her panties becomes wetter with the thought.

Alas, public makeout sessions are hot in places like the mall or the cinema, not so much at a school.

Pausing just before Peter leaves, she has to ask, “Seriously though; why this room?”

Peter’s smirk returns with a vengeance. It’s unclear whether this is due to whatever answer he may give, or if he’d picked up on the tremor in her voice as she’d asked. “Because Scott and Jean walk past here every day at precisely three pm,” he informs, watching with impish glee as her eyes widen comically, “and would you look at the time. No more hiding, koroleva.”

The clock strikes three hardly a second later and Peter gives a mocking salute before speeding out of the room in the blink of an eye.

“Peter Maximoff, I’m going to fucking kill you!”

Peering through the open doorway, Scott and Jean make no effort to conceal their snickering. “Might want to deal with that hickey first, Cady,” the redhead advises, flouncing away with her boyfriend before Arcadia can formulate a witty retort. She can feel the amusement emanating from the couple as they disappear.

God, she needs to get her own place. And possibly a new boyfriend. First things first: makeup.

[quazartranslates]

Welcome to the Nightmare Game - CH133

**This is an edited machine translation. For more information, please [click here]**

[<<< Previous Chapter | Table of Contents | Next Chapter >>>]

-----

Chapter 133: The Dream of the Holy Nun (XXIII)

Use Countercurrent Sand to reset the cooldown of the S/L Data skill card.

Save and drink the Devil’s blood.

Detonate all miniature bombs.

There was a loud roar as a violent explosion blew the tower deep in the church into ruins.

At the moment the file was loaded, the demon "Depravity" vanished and the resurrected Qi Leren returned to the state of when he had archived. Now he had no longer drunk the blood of the Devil and was still a human being!

His fragile human body appeared in the center of the explosion and was immediately thrown out by the billow of air, fell heavily on the ground, and even rolled several times before stopping.

There were some surface burns, multiple fractures, and countless bruises and contusions, but these injuries couldn't be judged as fatal injuries. There was no second reading of S/L skill and there is still dust and smoke in front of him. Qi Leren coughed in a heartbreaking way, and the blood accumulated in his chest gushed out from his mouth, filling his mouth with the taste of iron.

It hurt so much, it hurt so much, even breathing had become a kind of torture, he felt truly terrible.

At present, his vision was blurred red with hot blood. Qi Lereen used his single intact right hand to hold the dagger, bringing it toward his chest.

This body had lost its combat effectiveness, so he had to load again.

Before the knife's tip could touch his chest it was stopped by an incredible force, and Qi Leren suddenly shivered and looked into the smoking chaos in disbelief.

In the smoke after the explosion, a figure was coming down from the ruined throne.

The dust and smoke gradually dispersed, and the safe and sound devil came to him with elegant steps. He said approvingly: "Perfect acting skills, precise psychological grasp, unexpected attacks, in order to have me lower my guard you even drank the cup of blood... The only regret is that everything you carefully prepared still can't smooth out the distance in strength."

Su He stopped in front of Qi Leren and looked down at him gently and pityingly.

As time went by, Qi Leren’s hand holding the dagger could not move, and the S/L skill’s countdown was running out.

Qi Leren stared at him, but his trembling hand was too late to send the dagger into his heart. The Devil King looked at him with a smile and watched him step into the abyss of despair.

Five seconds, four seconds, three seconds, two seconds, one second... The countdown for the skill’s cooling was 0:59:59

"It seems that time’s up." Seeing the light of hope in Qi Leren's eyes dim, Su He leaned down and gently took the dagger from his hand.

Qi Leren looked at him coldly and he realized that he was about to die. Although Su He's expression was still gentle, his repeated attempts to thwart him had angered him, and the Devil of Fraud refused to accept the worm’s deception.

"Since the save hasn't been loaded it means that your current injuries aren’t fatal, but if just little more is done, you will bid farewell to this world, Leren." Su He played with Qi Leren's dagger and looked at him with a cold smile. "I’m very curious. When you really face the test of death, what will your choice be?"

The sharp point cut his throat and the blood flowed out. This degree of pain was not worth mentioning compared with the current pain all over his body, but Qi Leren knew that this injury would be fatal. 

Foaming blood would quickly block the respiratory tract, and it would become more and more difficult for him to breathe. If he was not treated, he would die of suffocation or excessive blood loss in a few minutes.

Su He stood up and put another goblet full of blood a few meters away: "Now, you can choose."

Breathing was difficult. No matter how hard he tried to inhale, it was more and more difficult to get enough oxygen into the trachea blocked by blood foam. Blood was constantly lost, oxygen was constantly decreasing, and his consciousness was becoming blurred.

Death was coming, and Qi Leren almost saw the grim reaper hovering over his head. It held the scythe and raised it high…

He didn't want to die, he didn't want to…

No, he wouldn't die. He had the Easter Egg!

But if he easily gave up struggling and accepted death, would Su He believe it? What would he do if he saw through his fear?

Must... Do it again... Again…

The desire for survival once again surfaced in Qi Leren’s eyes and his vision blurred. He tilted his head and looked at the cup of bright red blood a few meters away. His bloody lips moved slightly, longing…

The Devil King watched with great interest as the dying man ignited the last strength with his will. He rolled over and dragged his body forward with his single intact right hand. He lost more blood. His cut throat and injuries dragged out a shocking trail of blood on the ground, which showed how strong his will to survive was at the moment.

It was only a few meters away, but he’d exhausted all his strength.

By the time he reached his destination, the weak human was already dying. He used the last of his strength to hold the goblet, but his trembling hand kept shaking the scarlet blood in the cup…

He cried, and his broken trachea made his cry like a nightingale's whine, so despairing and pitiful.

The Devil liked this sound, watching a strong soul lose its bottom line and become corrupted and dirty. He was struggling to resist, yet he still succumbed to his own desires.

It really was amusing.

With a clear and crisp sound, the goblet fell heavily at the feet of the Devil King, spilling blood all over the floor.

The Devil King accidentally looked at the dying human being and saw his unyielding eyes. He was speechless as blood seeped out along his throat. He tried to pull up the corners of his mouth, showing him a mocking smile.

-Go away.

He growled silently.

In the blood on the ground, the handsome Devil smiled. "I didn't expect you to really do this for him. Humans are obviously so weak, but they’re always unexpected. This is probably what makes them so interesting."

Qi Leren struggled to roll over and lie on his back on the ruined floor.

His cut trachea was bleeding continuously, and the dying Qi Leren looked at Su He in the distance as Su He looked at him in return. After a moment, he came towards him but stopped in the middle.

"What is it?" Su He said, turning his head.

Within the shadow in the corner, a vague unfamiliar figure appeared and bowed slightly to Su He: "I’ve come to convey my King's instructions, the 'goldfish bowl' has raised an alarm. It’s very likely that it will escape again. Please go back and preside over the overall situation."

"It seems that my holiday is coming to an end." Su He said faintly, "Tell Power for me, I will force myself to leave this task and go back now. By the way, I’m bringing a big gift to her."

The shadow bowed again. The special connection between Devil King and Devil King could not last long in the Holy Nun’s field, and it quickly disappeared silently back into the shadows.

In the cold air, Su He’s deep voice came, mixed with mocking emotion: "...That woman."

Qi Leren could hardly see anything. The cloak of death had covered his eyes, the air was growing colder and colder, the chill slowly rose from the ground, and he was dying.

He heard Su He’s footsteps stop beside him, and then the rustle of fabric. He seemed to squat down and gently parted the hair on his forehead.

"I originally wanted to play with you for a while longer, but unfortunately the game has ended early. Your best friend beat Isabel and is on his way, but calculating the time, he probably won't see you one last time. It’s a pity that I can't see his expression when he gets here," Su He’s gentle voice rang in Qi Leren’s ears as he lay dying.

"For your courage and perseverance, I’ll allow you to rest here." A kiss as light as nothing fell on Qi Leren’s forehead. A farewell kiss.

"Depravity’s appearance was beautiful, but unfortunately, you did not become it after all."

The footsteps of Su He's leisurely departure were getting farther and farther away, disappearing from Qi Leren’s ears.

Qi Leren was dying.

Glad and anxious.

Although his brain had almost stopped running, he still understood the dialogue between Su He and the unknown person. He would hurry to leave here immediately, which meant Ning Zhou was safe.

Great... Great... Really, great.

He could be resurrected in seven days, as long as the news was conveyed to Ning Zhou…

Qi Leren, who had difficulty moving a finger, squeezed out the last strength from his body and wrote a 7 with his bloody finger trembling. He also wanted to write another word, "days", but for all his effort he couldn't make his finger move again.

Qi Le people closed his eyes in exhaustion, his breathing halted, and his consciousness sank into chaos because of lack of oxygen. Even the pain became slow and psychedelic, as if his soul had begun to gradually break away from this scarred body.

He absently thought, there was only the one number, could Ning Zhou understand what he meant?

After 7 days, he could be resurrected in 7 days, just wait for 7 days…

Memories began to flash in his mind like fragments, like film pulled out from a camera, and then suddenly it fixed on a certain one. At that time, he was absent-minded because he was thinking about the task clues, and Su He was explaining the meaning of numbers to Dr. Lu: "Numbers are very interesting in the Nightmare World. Many numbers have special meanings. For example, 4 stands for luck and 7 stands for..."

"I love you."

He’d made an unforgivable mistake.

Qi Leren desperately struggled to keep breathing, but the blood foam stuck in his throat prevented him from inhaling air. He opened his eyes wide and tried to erase the numbers written in blood.

He tried his best to squeeze out the last bit of strength from his nerves, bone marrow, and every organ that was about to stop working, to erase this number, but there was nothing he could do.

He couldn't move, he couldn't move at all.

Tears of remorse flowed out of the corner of his eye and he cried. He hadn’t in the face of the Devil's performance, nor in the face of fear of dying, but now it was really out of control.

This desperate fear even exceeded his fear of death itself and his consciousness that is about to dissipate was shouting, struggling, and repenting. He couldn't imagine, couldn’t bear to think of Ning Zhou seeing this message - this simple number. It could be the last straw to destroy Ning Zhou.

The world slowly sank into the dark abyss of death.

He remembered the difference from a few hours ago. At that time, it was so dark that he had only dared to ask Ning Zhou if he wanted to go with him. His timid heart made him even afraid to wait for Ning Zhou's answer and he’d said goodbye in a hurry. He’d always thought they would meet again, so he said: I'll be back soon, you have to wait for me! You must wait for me!

How naive and how stupidly self-confident in front of reality, fragile and ridiculous, vulnerable.

At the last moment before the collapse of his consciousness, Qi Leren saw the Garden of the Holy Tomb.

At that time, he’d woken up from the stump covered with fallen flowers and followed Dr. Lu to the place where Su He was. As he walked, he’d turned his head and saw Ning Zhou.

He’d stood by the broken tree and looked at him from a distance.

So restrained, so distant, but so gentle, there were too many emotions floating in his blue eyes, just like the sky and the sea that contained everything.

He’d suddenly wanted to ask Ning Zhou, how many times had he looked at him like this? And how many times had he missed returning it?

Ning Zhou was always so lonely and silent. All his pains were buried deep in his own heart, without words.

If he hadn't looked back, he would have never seen such tenderness.

He would never have known how deep this repressed love was.

Just a little bit like infinity.

　　&&&

Through the broken stone columns and countless broken statues, Ning Zhou walked forward without looking away and finally came to the front of the cathedral.

The first half of the church had been seriously damaged, with solemn and historical writing under the starry sky.

Ning Zhou briskly walked to the depths of the hall, looking at the two huge stone doors.

The earth was still shaking and destruction had played the final movement.

Ning Zhou took a deep breath, and his abdominal wound was burning and generally painful. He drew a cross on his chest and then pushed back the stone door.

The huge Maria and the stabbed dragon would have occupied most people's field of vision, but Ning Zhou's line of sight chased the familiar figure lying on the ground amidst a shocking pool of blood.

His heartbeat stops at this moment, and whether heaven or hell, it didn’t exist at this moment.

He didn't know how he came up to him and knelt down there.

Open brown eyes looked ahead emptily, and there were wet tears in the corner of his eyes. His blood-stained fingers were stopped on a reddish-brown number.

At the moment before he died, he was saying—

I love you.

Deep in the dark hall, there came the cry of desperation and collapse. Witnessed by the remains of Holy Nun and the Devil, a devout believer finally admitted his love that was not allowed by his God.

But it was too late. At the moment when he’d received his love, he’d lost him forever.

-----

The author has something to say:

PS: So, there is no love that can't be achieved through a grand death. If there is, then die again.

-----

[<<< Previous Chapter | Table of Contents | Next Chapter >>>]

[littlenekosfan]

Friend - visual narrative

this is going to be a long thread bc i have a LOT of panels, so read under the cut!

since im reworking with Friend chapters panels, i paid attention to the details more than ever before.. and wow, the way these chapters are narrated is absolutely amazing

lets start off with my one of my fav panels

if there is a theme between these two that keep recurring it’s “duality” (whether when it comes to their character or the way their story is told) we will also find a lot of parallels with it.. this panel above starts it very well, one left, one right, they both call each other’s name, the expressions completely different, even the background is reversed

there we go again, all this in one chapter, i simply love how they have the same pose/image but reversed, its a really nice contrast with how different they are and yet are at the same level also, look at their speech bubbles, most of the time, jugram has a round one while bazz a sharper one, its the case here and the previous panels aswell

AGAIN! kubo gives us each’s pov with the same image/paneling, i love that method bc he treats them the same, even if one is stronger than the other and ppl will most likely root for/side with one more than the other, they both get the same treatment, also, we get to see how both lives the same struggle, it both conflicts them this whole fight considering the past they had together

the transition is also really nice, the black background outside the panel and the partial grey shading that matches with it inside the panel.. we will get to see that technique again, but here?? lovely.

a whole page not showing their face even if you guessed who they were, you get that little surprise with the face reveal which comes out really nice

the chapter reveal!!!! its so pure and empty (no dialogue and it’s only one panel), it perfectly empathize on the title and its meaning

i love how discreet bazz motive to help out jugo is shown here, obviously none of them would speak about it (jugo is pretty closed and bazz despite being loud, he isnt obnoxious and he’s smart) so it had to be shown without any words and these panels do it so well!

the first panel is just so beautiful and you can tell how jugo is just, happy. and then, the moment his uncle speaks, his face drastically changes, from white to black, kubo loves to work with that contrast of b&w (just look how the ritters/espadas are dressed vs shinigamis.. there is also the sun/moon theme and so on... its not called bleach for nothing lmao) kubo uses contrast very often and we can tell he loves to do it (and he does it super well!!)

i know we dont have any colour on these pages, but both pages are from the same chapter, first one (right) being their fist meeting on a normal day (probably an evening so the sky is orange ish) and the second page is again a jump to a flashback but this time it’s not the sky that we are shown in the last panel, but rather flames, the same colour as the day they met... the two last panels look the same but arent....

there is also the absence of facial expression in some panels, which imo conveys the mood much better, we are not left up to interpretation, we clearly know what kind of feelings that are expressed yet they didnt need to be shown...

again with the parallels (left/right) and using the same image from younger to older to show their growth? nice.

the built up with the grand reveal... wow, love it, also, that panel was such a surprise to me when i first read it... still give me goosebumps today ngl..(if you are a manga reader to likes to have the book, well, this the end of vol69... what an ending :))) just look at the build up, the bg is dark and you get that white and empty panel right after like, wow 

AGAIN WITH THE SUPRISE AND WOW IT HURTS, also the title being in capital... OOF, im going to loose it

ppl like to call kubo lazy with his titles, but is it?? i mean, here, i really cant think of a better title, remember how the first chapter friend was introduced? so sweet and smooth and then you get this... the fact friend is written here is a good call back to their relationship, what it is, what it really means, and the current situation

the way bazz recalls all the things he had heard about this.......th-that hurts (we’re like in his mind, we’re just as shocked as he is) also, it shows well how bazz recall all these moment in silence and does all the realization without saying a thing, bc no, he didnt say a thing ever since yhwach started to talk..

the left panel is yhwach talking (as he was for like the whole chapter) and there is no dialogue going on, the two boys didnt say a thing... as the slience was taking place, bazz breaks is with a shrieking voice, just looking how the letters are written in japanese, we went from pure, clear panel to a messy and dark one....

jump back to present, with both jugrams having the same pose but they both don’t convey the same feeling, with the shading and how cut it is (not being able to fully see jugo’s eyes) you can tell the first one is more disturbing/devastating than the second one

there we go... we get to see both of their expression at the same time and it change within the following panels,.. (im telling you, kubo love both of them, not just one.., both.)

this is one of my favorites moments, the way know bazz has lost his fight and how HE is self-conscious about it..., the way he monologues about jugram is really depressing, and how we are only given images that illustrates his struggle...the images are so strong, desperate and yet, his words are so empty, powerless, he knew he lost.. (the moment i start reading it, i cry on the fucking floor)

i mentioned earlier how i loved kubo’s choice in not showing the face, well we have it here again in a flashback and the end of the fight... jugram turning his back to bazz, he did it in the past and did it after bazz’ death..  it’s his way to avoid to face his feelings. (the fact we are shown he did it in the past and the reason to it, let us know why he did it again even later)

here again with empty panels, the fact it’s only bazz who is talking.... feels really heavy and the way he clings to jugram with burning hands....... you really need to look at every panel carefully to feel that heart wrenching moment,, there is no crying or screaming, he just softly admits his defeat and that’s it, like, im sorry but that’s fucking sorrowful

here again with kubo choosing to not show the face, but in this case, it’s harder for us to tell which expression jugram has (since he’s so closed about showing emotions or his intentions) but the fact kubo deliberately chose to hide it proves jugram has something to hide from us, something he didnt want us (readers) to see.........

these panels? concludes their story perfectly you have jugram walking up the stairs leaving bazz-b alone laying behind, being reminded of the day they met where bazz was the one standing high while jugram is on the ground the setting: the cold empty castle during nighttime vs the warm summer day met in a forest at daytime bazz reached to jugram and jugram left him behind, they met with touched hearts only to leave with empty ones, bazz used to look down on jugram and now, jugram does, they used to be so different and still do but only now, their role are inverted...

thank you @equipollency​ for that remark! i think your post does it much better if yall wanna read it !

i mentioned earlier how the background (outside the panel) would change from black to white, we know the black means the past,  but i love how its broken here, going back and forth from the past and present (within the same page) to show how things are still the same between them, the same struggle, the same fight over and over

also, the “not yet” is just so perfectly placed, i cant, it just emphasize even more on my point earlier (how things between them never changed on that matter)  and it finally concludes the flashbacks (with the way it’s presented: the b&w,, and the words themselves, how they weight so much)

the black shading like that is rarely used with kubo but when he does, you know it conveys extreme emotions (we didnt get to see it with bazz bc it wasnt as intense as jugram has it but also)  the trigger to these emotions for jugram are related to trauma, the first one being his uncle and the second being his friendship (im not calling his relation with bazz traumatic, its how important this relationship was to him and how ended up broken that triggers him)

but NaKi ThErE iS ThiS pAneL wHerE baZz Is ShaDeD bLacK! yes i know, but it’s not about bazz expression nor emotions, its about the scene, the situation (the white bg vs the black silhouette: perfect), so no it doesnt count, but its still a very nice panel just like with the jugo’s reveal with everyone “kneeling” to him.. white bg was The way to go

i forgot to talk about how i like their fight, how there is so little dialogue and how there are a lot of empty pages just to let place to the fight... it lets you enjoy their fight while we suffer with their flashback, anyways, im not a fan of endless dialogue in fights unless it really changes something, here, they both already know each other and they know what they want, so it was a good pick to just, us reader, witness their story through their mind instead of them narrating/recalling it to us

i know kubo uses that technique outside of these chapters, but the grey shading... i love.. he also has a LOT of close ups with eyes bc we all know how expressive eyes are;... i love that too

i know i talked about some facial expressions, but really, kubo’s art is amazing, the way he can convey certain expressions that are so precise... here, have some panels that i think are underrated naki your boys are underrated.. bc i love kubo’s art so much

i had the chance to see the colored version only once, and to be honest, the black and white is just, Amazing. nothing close to that, kubo’s use of b&w and how he keeps his panels pure is MADE to stay that way

anyways, im really in love with how Friend was made and thought out in it’s visual narrative (and story wise too ofc), kubo didnt just do a side story, these chapters are fucking amazing and ppl often ignores that sadly..

[aspiringprofessionalnerd]

Wei Wuxian and the Trauma of the Burial Mounds

Sorry folks I am officially In My Feels after therapy this week, and then I came online this afternoon to see that @hunxi-guilai has knocked it out of the park with their analysis again. I love to see that people are talking about the portrayal of WWX’s trauma on a larger level, and I wanted to add my two cents:

Pre-Resurrection

First of all, I want to acknowledge that WWX is far from the only person who experiences trauma throughout the course of CQL ahem Jiang Cheng . Even WWX endures various types of trauma throughout his first life. But what I’m so impressed (and gutted) by is the way in which the show establishes that it is WWX’s first stint in the Burial Mounds specifically that breaks him (or, at least, catalyses his breakdown). 

We know WWX has had a difficult childhood and teen years. He lost his parents at a young age and had to survive on the streets for an unspecified amount of time, facing physical and logistical hardships like running from dogs and battling starvation (no cultivation training yet, so no opportunity to train inedia) as well as the grief of losing his parents. Yet, remarkably, aside from his lingering fear of dogs, these incidents don’t seem to leave too many lasting physical or emotional scars. WWX is able to jump around and play with his adoptive brother on his first night at Lotus Pier, and when we see him in his teen years at Cloud Recesses Summer Camp he is a warm, bubbly individual with no reservations about physical contact (on the contrary, he’s more gung-ho about it than LWJ would like). He remains open to new experiences and new people, and even though he uses humour to obfuscate at times, the people close to WWX can still see through to his deeper intentions (take, for example, Yanli reminding Jiang Cheng that WWX is serious about the important things). Moreover, once the Jiang siblings and WWX return to Lotus Pier, we gain a greater appreciation for the past things WWX has survived, including years of verbal abuse some awkward family dynamics. Madam Yu’s words obviously hurt him, but even so he bounces back almost immediately and diverts his attention to comforting Jiang Cheng despite the fact that he is still recovering from Teenage Mutant Murder Turtle injuries himself. I think there is an important distinction to be made here: it’s not that criticism and harsh conditions just roll off of WWX. He DOES process and internalise them, but he keeps going and maintains his faith and openness in spite of having these negative experiences. Clearly, he is a remarkably resilient person. 

After the massacre at Lotus Pier and Jiang Cheng’s loss of his golden core, we see WWX wrestle with more complex emotions: grief, guilt, and concern. It’s obvious that Wei Wuxian is suffering acutely, but he’s still doing it in a way that’s very true to his character as we know it. He’s crying. He’s seeking physical comfort from Yanli. He’s proactive, looking to plan and problem-solve. Yes he balks a little at what JC’s core recovery will involve, but his overall reaction is primarily one of satisfaction and relief. 

We don’t see too much of WWX between the mountaintop ordeal and his dropping into the Burial Mounds, but I think we have enough material to say that he is still in command of his own mind and maintains his sense of agency. You can tell that our Wee Sweaty Boi has been through the wringer, but he’s still quite animated and even cheeky when facing off against Wen Chao and Wen Zhuliu in the teahouse. That dog speech? Damn. Classic WWX. He might die, but he’s not going down without getting the last word. It’s only when they are all riding swords to the weirdest and most out of place glam rock score in the entire series wtf over the Burial Mounds that we see an inkling of genuine horror cross WWX’s face.

Take now, by contrast, WWX’s reactions and interactions post-Burial Mounds. His flinchy moments inspired such a visceral reaction in me. I’m a repeat trauma survivor as well, and when I saw the way that WWX jerked back from NHS’s hand, it was deeply uncomfortable to watch precisely because of how familiar it was. This is an instinctive, almost animalistic response to touch, and it’s a FEAR response. Moreover, this isn’t some rando about to bump into him; this is one of his best friends from childhood. This is the reaction of someone who has survived by believing that the only possible safe space he has is within the confines of his own body; if anyone touches that, it will shatter. Wei Wuxian’s logical mind can tell him that NHS is not a threat, but his trauma-brain can’t turn off the panic simply by knowing that. (And why should he trust his logical mind, anyway? As we get glimpses of in the first few moments of the Burial Mounds, it’s as much the voices of people he knows and loves as the voices of unnamed resentful souls that prey on him during those three months. The psychological trauma in the Burial Mounds was not just the introduction of external threats, but the convoluting of things WWX knew and loved into instruments of torture so that even once he returned to the world, he could not shake those negative associations.)

We get an equal-but-opposite illustration of WWX’s trauma in instances like his reunion with JC and LWJ or his soup session with Yanli. There’s a deadness behind the eyes, an uncanny stillness. Wei Wuxian is in survival mode, going through the motions of what ‘should’ be his return to normal life but wondering why it doesn’t feel right this time. Wei Wuxian had told himself in the Burial Mounds that all he needed to do was survive the Burial Mounds themselves and then everything would be alright: he would go back to Lotus Pier, JC would be healed, and he would make up a new version of the plan that had been shot to hell (I’m convinced that WWX DID originally have a plan for how to navigate life in Lotus Pier post-golden core; however, he never got to put that plan into place because he got dumped into the Burial Mounds before he could enact it). But Wei Wuxian returns, and what he’s told himself isn’t true, because in all his planning for returning to Yunmeng he didn’t account for the fact that what it took to get there would fundamentally alter him. As a result, Wei Wuxian doesn’t fit anymore--not because the world has changed, but because Wei Wuxian has changed. And he can’t talk about that with anyone.

Why not? Sure, in part it’s because he feels bound to keep the secret about Jiang Cheng, but I think there’s another aspect here that’s been significantly overlooked: namely, that Wei Wuxian is the ONLY person to survive the Burial Mounds in any kind of living cultural memory. The problem isn’t so much that he can’t tell people as it is an issue of no one being able to understand or relate to his experiences even if he did share them. After all, how do you convey to an outsider what it was like to survive for three months in a place where every single bit of torture was customised to draw on YOUR individual, personal fears and hurts? Significantly, this is also the point in the story where we see Wei Wuxian begin to answer questions by in turn asking, ‘Would you believe me if I told you...?’ The question is rhetorical: he doesn’t expect people to believe him (although it still hurts when they don’t), but even if they do believe, it’s still not enough because they don’t understand. IMO, the rest of WWX’s issues leading up to the cliff at Nightless City stem from him trying--and failing--to come to terms with the loneliness of that knowledge.

Post-Resurrection

After WWX comes back, we see a shift in him. He’s no longer focused on the fact that no one will understand him; he’s decided that having someone (namely LWJ) believe him is enough. This resolves many of the auxiliary issues that had been plaguing WWX before his death, but it does NOT resolve the original trauma of his first experience in the Burial Mounds. WWX continues to have nightmares, and what are they about? Not Lotus Pier. Not Qiongqi Way and his sense of guilt. Not Shijie getting stabbed right in front of his face. Not his final, distraught moments with LWJ and JC. Nope, his nightmares continue to revolve around falling into the Burial Mounds all those years ago: an experience for which even death and rebirth are insufficient to ease the pain. 

I’m convinced that even at the end of CQL Wei Wuxian still has a LOT of healing to do, and I think this healing is not something that can happen through Lan Zhan’s love alone. Thank goodness for fanfic and headcanons, eh?

**Gentle reader, this turned out to be more like 50 dollars than two cents. Thank you for reading to the end if you’re still with me!

TL;DR I believe Wei Wuxian’s turning point moment in the story is his dumping into the Burial Mounds. It’s easy to get swept up in how many terrible things happen to him AFTER that in the lead-up to Nightless City, but I genuinely think he could have endured the loss of his Jiang family, the censure of LWJ, and society turning against him if he had not been psychologically broken during his first three months there. The writers, directors, and Xiao Zhan give us a very raw, real version of what trauma looks like with their depiction of post-Burial Mounds WWX, and it is utterly harrowing.

[itsclydebitches]

I know you say that the Adam stuff in v3 was a good example of visual storytelling in rwby, do you think there is anything else, in your opinion

Yes! Let’s praise poor RWBY for once lol 

I’m sure there’s a lot that I could choose from but that would require me combing back through old content to jog those memories. So let’s stick to Volume 7. Overall, I quite enjoyed the JNOR vs. Neo fight. There are plot convenience issues (the stupidity of having the group carry the relic around instead of putting it in the vault) and choreography issues (I’ve heard a number of complaints about the slow-mo and how Jaune and Oscar don’t integrate well with Ren and Nora), but the fight does a good job of conveying a lot of information visually. It’s one of the few moments in the volume where I felt like RT was successfully a) using the medium to its advantage and b) achieving more than one thing in a single scene. 

Warning: Here be lots of screenshots. 

First, I want to acknowledge that lately RT has been demonstrating a talent for horror-esque writing. RWBY obviously isn’t in the horror genre, but via the Apathy we saw that RT can crank up the creep factor when they choose to. This scene does something similar (though admittedly much more subtly) and it starts with the opening shot of the destroyed guards. 

It’s a simple thing, but note how dark the room is, especially compared to the hallway outside. This is supposed to be a terrifying moment. The team has just arrived looking for Oscar and have instead found a disaster zone. There are scorch marks on the walls. The guards aren’t just lying powered down, they’ve been hacked to pieces. Though AIs without aura or souls, they’re designed to look like people and at first glance it definitely seems like we’ve got three bodies decorating the bedroom. Nora’s panicked cries tell us how bad the situation is, but we get that loud and clear from these visuals first. Also note how, despite being lighter, the hallway is dominated by a very deep red. I’d actually say to a certain extent this is a mistake - the pink/reds of the environment make it easy for Neo and Nora, with their predominantly pink costumes, to blend in too well during the fight - but in regards to color associations we get some nice shots throughout that convey danger and high emotions. 

When “Oscar” comes on the scene we know, instantaneously, that it’s not Oscar. Not just because we as the audience know that Neo is off doing something nefarious, but because via the language of film/television that’s not how you re-introduce an established character. You don’t hide their face like that unless you’re about to reveal something - like the fact that that’s not really them. This is also the first of a number of medium closeups on the relic, putting emphasis on it first because someone currently holds it who should not have it, and then as a means of reminding the viewer what this fight is about. 

Via some great attention to detail, we see again the clear wrongness about this “Oscar.” That’s not how Oscar stands. That’s not how Oscar smiles. More than just animating him differently, this shot pulls from those subtle horror tropes. He has the dead-eyed look of a doll or a supernatural being that immediately makes the viewer (if not Nora) go, “Wait...” It helps that Oscar is a short boy with dark hair. Put him in different clothes and he could play any number of possessed kids. 

With Neo’s deception revealed, we get what the fandom knows is not good visual storytelling. AKA, Oscar charging down the whole length of the hallway while Neo just stands there and lets herself get hit. I don’t need to re-hash how stupid that was. What I like a lot more is the subtleties in how she communicates given that, obviously, Neo can’t rely on any dialogue. Coming out of the hit she immediately has her umbrella leveled at the group and pulls out the blade to communicate, “Yes. I’m taking you on.” The neat choice though is that she brings the umbrella down to do it. She takes her weapon off the group, if only for a moment. Jaune has just gotten done insisting that she should give up because it’s four to one. The blade says, “I’m taking you on” but lowering her umbrella likewise says, “I’m so confident about taking you on I’ll even make myself vulnerable for a second.” 

Which retroactively makes her getting hit like that even stupider but it’s fine we’re moving on. 

During this time we also get a lot of insight into Oscar. Check out how utterly bedraggled he is, showing us how tough the initial fight with Neo was and how lucky he is to have escaped. He clutches the relic close to his chest and stares, scared, at the rest of the team. Oscar hasn’t reached a point yet where he instinctively draws his weapon and prepares to defend himself (indeed, he didn’t even have his weapon out during that initial encounter. That’s one hell of a rookie mistake). He’s still a terrified kid who hopes he won’t have to fight at all, literally hiding behind more powerful friends. This is all great characterization, the only problem is consistency. Nothing about Oscar has been consistent. One moment he’s holding his own against Lionheart and insisting he fight Hazel. The next he’s getting his ass kicked by Neo and cowering at the prospect of more. One moment he’s positively done in by these fights, horrified, scared, unsure of himself. The next he’s confronting the general of a kingdom with all the wisdom of Ozpin. This guy: 

and this guy: 

Exist about fifteen minutes apart. Because though RWBY is great at visual storytelling within each scene, they don’t keep it consistent from one scene to the next. Which is why Oscar is (accurately, imo) animated as an inexperienced kid in Scene #1 and then inexplicably becomes a wise old mentor in Scene #2. Not because anything occurred between Scene #1 and Scene #2 to create that change (let alone such an extreme change), but only because the show suddenly wanted Ironwood to look like an unhinged character. How do you achieve that? Not by having the guy he’s talking to act as winded, wild, and emotional as him, but by having Oscar speak calmly, rationally, softly, sounding oh-so-persuasive so you don’t listen to the actual words he says and how nonsensical they are (you’re as bad as Salem). Instead, you pay attention only to the visuals (Ironwood looks crazier than Oscar so he must be wrong). Ironwood is a great example of how RT sometimes tries to get visual storytelling to outweigh basic logic/what’s been said on screen. 

Anyway, I’m getting off track. The fight begins and I do still love how Oscar is depicted here, even if it doesn’t align with what we get later. The moment that umbrella and cane cross was great because who doesn’t love visual symmetry? Oscar grabbing Neo is wonderfully in character because he’s barely trained! He’s a kid! He’s flying by the seat of his pants and going with whatever vaguely successful act pops into his head. The absurdity of, “I’m just going to grab her” is tempered by Oscar’s furiously determined expression as well as Neo’s brief look of shock. It works up until they realize what Oscar grabbed was just a copy. 

I mentioned early that JNOR often doesn’t work well as a team, unless it’s specifically in the context of Jaune giving orders and the others executing them. Oscar and his lack of integration is obviously exempt from this, being the newbie both to fighting and this particular team’s dynamics, but Ren, Nora, and Jaune have no excuse. The first half of this fight is a good example of what I mean. We see Nora attack. She’s tossed aside. Then Ren attacks. He’s slammed into the wall. Oscar attacks (umbrella vs. cane) and it’s only at the last second that Jaune arrives with his shield to stave off a blow that would fell him too. Why is everyone taking turns here? They know none of them can beat Neo one-on-one and Jaune just said that their victory lies in it being four-to-one. So why separate out all the attacks? Arguably we can read this as a major flaw of JNOR’s and visual setup for something they’ll have to overcome later. In reality though I highly doubt this was deliberate on RT’s part, leaving this as bad visual storytelling (in that it makes the characters look stupid) as opposed to good visual storytelling (JNOR will realize this flaw and work to correct it). 

After Neo disappears we get a chase through the hallway that does a great job of showing us precisely how weaker Oscar is compared to his teammates. He doesn’t have their stamina, breathing heavily and falling further and further behind. At one point (screenshot #2) he arrives just in time to find the team turning back in the direction he’s just come, showing not only how he can’t physically keep up, but also his place in this team/the group. He’s literally not with them. Anyone who has followed my blog knows my thoughts on how the group has treated Oscar and if (again) I were inclined to think that RT was aware of that treatment and working to integrate it into the show with the intent to resolve it, this would be another great detail. As it is, I think Oscar as a character is just continually going to get the short end of the stick. In particular, the crane shot shows us exactly how far behind Oscar is. The others charge ahead without him, not caring where he is or if he can keep up. Which leads to this. 

Oscar rounds another corner and they’re gone. Nowhere to be seen. If anyone had the thought, “He’s not that far behind. It’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be,” Ren, Nora, and Jaune were clearly moving fast enough to round another corner and leave Oscar stranded. Here those subtle horror elements come back into play, particularly the maze-like design of the corridors. The only unique marker we get is the info board, otherwise it’s all identical hallways, housing a killer, with Oscar now left alone in it. The long shot makes him look small and emphasizes his isolation. 

Then he’s attacked and it’s suitably scary. The hand over his mouth. The dark room again. We only get the briefest glimpse of Neo-as-Nora before she attacks, but that one second is another excellent moment of animation. Nora has never sauntered away like that. Even the quickest look in an action-driven scene is enough for the viewer to go, “Nope. Not Nora.” 

The attack itself is the one moment where I think the slow-mo serves a good purpose. We might know (via that quick shot, how characters act (Nora is unlikely to pull Oscar aside like that) and expectations for how a story functions) that that’s not Nora, but Oscar doesn’t know that. The slow-mo gives us - and him - the chance to focus on Neo’s eyes changing, that stomach-dropping moment of realization, and we see Oscar’s horrified shock in the close up on his own eyes. Though RWBY doesn’t always grapple with the emotional implications of every encounter, I think it’s worth noting that this can really mess someone up. Oscar thought he was safe with an ally and had the rug pulled out from under him. He will now forever have the image of Nora attacking him, regardless of the fact that it was really “Nora.” Jaune likewise exclaims in horrified surprise when “Nora” charges him down the hallway. The ability to turn into someone else is an advantage that Neo knows how to use to its fullest. Not just in regards to spying, but how to unsettle your opponent too. 

Waiting for the day she turns into Pyrrha ngl. 

We see that same work when she encounters Ren. Admittedly, I’m torn on this one. If only because I agree with others when they ask, “Doesn’t Ren spar with Nora all the time? He should be able to hit her.” The context of “Barely trained kid thought he was with a friend and then watches said ‘friend’ attack him” is not the same thing as, “Much more experienced fighter realizes the moment ‘Nora’ rounds the corner with an umbrella that that’s not her, has no doubt hit her numerous times in the past during training, yet for some reason can’t bring himself to hit her now.” It... doesn’t quite work. Here, I think RT does a good job of showing us Ren’s distress, it’s just that this is paired with a very bad job of establishing what that distress is and why it exists. This is what we needed to hear about during the party conversation. If Ren and Nora had actually talked rather than just kissing, we might have understood why Ren is suddenly incapacitated here when “Nora” looks at him sadly. 

As said though, the emotion of the scene is great even if we don’t quite know where it came from. Neo’s pitiful look, Ren freezing in shock (check out the red there too), his dumbfounded expression as he just sits in the middle of a battle, and when we come back to him we see the tear tracks. Overall, this scene does a great job of incorporating lots of information beyond “Team JNOR is fighting Neo for the relic.” We just need to connect that information better to what came before this scene (Ren) and what comes after (Oscar). 

Finally, Neo slams into the other guards and transforms again. I love this final shot of her, both for how she moves and the implications of the transformation itself. Meaning, Neo is a professional. She had a job and she did it. Once the relic was in her possession and she had an escape route, she took it. Neo doesn’t get distracted by taking revenge - these are some of the people we fought against when Roman died - or trying to take them out to please Cinder, or even just going after them because she’s Evil. Neo is focused, no unnecessary actions taken, and that, just as much as her semblance and skill, is what makes her dangerous. 

[moonlightstars16]

How To Say ‘I Love You’

30 Day Connverse Challenge

Day 30 ~ I Love You's

People say there are different love languages. Five of them to be precise. They're specific to every individual. Some however have more than just one of the five love languages. But it's rare for one person to obtain all five. Not impossible, just rare. For a certain kind gem-human hybrid and an intelligent, imaginative fighter, they had the rarest of it all. Between them both they had all five love languages.

Words Of Affirmation: As you can see plainly in the title, this love language uses words to convey their love. Doesn't have to be a long winded speech. Sometimes a quick compliment or short phrase can do the trick. Especially if it's relating to the person.

Steven Universe had this as one of his main love languages. He knew what to say and when to say it. Perhaps some would bring that ideal back to when he has well known, for being a great 'public speaker' during his teenage to young adult life. It certainly helped in the long run. But he was also well in tune with others emotions and especially when it came to his beloved Jam Bud. Now Connie would give compliments and sweet sayings here and there. This wasn't strictly for one person, just like all the rest, but overall Steven had this quality within him the most.

Acts Of Service: This is where the motto "Actions Speak Louder Than Words" comes into play. This can be done with doing a simple chore or going above and beyond for the other person. Even if it was for something practical.

Connie Maheswaren had this has her main love language. Every study break she would call him up to see how he was fairing. Spending as much time with him as possible. Especially after what happened when he turned back from a 'corrupted monstrous' form to himself. Finally getting the therapy he needed and beginning the healing process. Through the nightmares and rough days, she was there for him. Holding on tightly, giving him nourishment, reading a book, helping him around the house, etc. Even when it became exhausting she never complained. Because she hardly ever felt it.  Her focus was on making her beloved Biscuit happy and in an okay state. No matter how long it would take.

Physical Touch: This is where it doesn't have to be full of extreme PDA. Sometimes it a loving hug, a gentle kiss, a simple hand hold, etc. One does have to be careful with his love language, however if your safe and know each other well, you'll be okay.

Steven obviously had this down to a T. Ever since he was born, he was nothing but surrounded by love and comfort. His dad made sure of that with pats on the head or shoulder. When he moved in with the Gems, they would hold his hand, pat him on his fluffy head(like it was the power of the soft curls here), high five's, cuddling for naps and most of all, hugging. Lots and lots of hugging. Now when it came to Connie, he was a bit cautious at first. Knowing full well that things like this must be handled with care.

A simple quick hand hold or high five was a good start. When they were kids. Growing up they began to do more and more. Linking arms, holding hands for longer periods of time, and finally the loving embrace of a hug. Not a side, not a quick brush, but a full on hug, clinging to each other. Now they cuddled(instigated by him mostly), slept side by side during the night, and kissed. Whether it was a peck or a full on make-out session, they did so. There is another level that they went to on very certain occasions but for the sake of this being PG we'll leave that out. just know that both had to be in agreement and in the right mindset for it. Which they did but still were cautious enough to ask each other.

Quality Time: No distractions just you and your loved one being together and relishing in the moments shared. Watching Netflix and all is okay, but it's important to make sure the time spent together is without anything standing in your way.

Connie was almost a master at this. Especially with her organizational skills. Planning schedules for school is when it started, but then for a time it took over her life. To the point where she had to step away from any calendar. However it made her even more aware to make sure her time spent with her Steven was important and special for them. Watching the sun set, laying on the couch or floor on a hot summers day, taking a walk, shopping for groceries or even going out on a date; all while conversing about miscellaneous things. While Steven had words of affirmation, Connie engaged the convo's first. Making sure they were caught up on everything in their lives. Even when they were apart.

It might've been selfish to some, but when it was their time, it was their time. Just them both, alone and no one else(other than people around them minding their own business or working). She had grown accustomed to the attention and an adoring smile whenever they were together wasn't far way. At times it felt like they were the only people on the entire planet. Connie was more than okay with that feeling.

Receiving Gifts: While love isn't materialistic, there is nothing wrong with giving your partner a sweet sentiment to let them know how much you mean to them. Whether it's practical or just getting a pint of ice cream, will make the other feel appreciated.

This was for both of them. They each had a unique way of giving gifts unique to the other person. Steven gifted Connie with a shoulder massage while working as well as a piece of chocolate for when it became more stressful. What was special is that he gifted her with a surprise after she completed her exams. Waiting outside next to his Dondai, balloons and a sign that said 'YOU DID IT!', just for even taking the big tests. It was her time to relax after all those exams. So he took her out on dates to celebrate.

Connie gifted Steven with video games and books. Something to keep his mind occupied on a boring day. During the beginning stages of therapy, she gave him something extraordinary. A journal to fill up with his own personal notes and such. Something no one else will read(even Amethyst whom she had to make sure she wouldn't read to which she complied easily). It was just him with his private thoughts. He used it almost every day and when he had a rough nightmare. It was an anchor to all the emotional roller coaster he went through.

With both conveying all the love languages between them, they made a perfect pair together. They were childhood sweethearts, best friends, a couple and ultimately Jam Buds for life. In fact they could recall very well the first time they kissed. It was after a hilarious conversation involving Pearl and Amethyst cleaning out the temple and ended with them too landing in the mud. After their laughter died down Steven reach out and brushed away her hair. Gently cradling her cheek and gazing upon her beauty. A blush resurfaced as they grew closer. Her hand on his shoulder as there lips touched gently.

Their first kiss and it was glorious.

Now there is a lot of ways to convey the emotions of one another. But there is one that is the most well known, the most amazing and the most heartfelt. Three simple words.

"I Love You."

[rboooks]

Based on the wonderful fic C’est La Vie   by the ever talented @cywscross. I just love the fic so much and I am very late to the fandom but whatever.  

AU: Had Hadrian had arrived a little earlier and Fate had given him a different back story. 

Orion Black had not noticed the new store until it’s opening day. 

He had been passing by with his Father who was ever so excited about buying Orion his Hogwarts supplies, insisting they needed to beat the crowds and go the moment the owl dropped it off at their home. (He knows the real reason, of course, being werewolves made it difficult to shop and “beating the crowds” was another way of saying “Avoid large amounts of discrimination”. He let his father think he wasn’t aware though) 

Orion couldn’t work up the energy to match Father’s enthusiasm. His first year of Hogwarts was everything and nothing like he expected it to be. He knew he would meet students who would not like him for his condiction but he had hope that he could make some kind of friends. Naive as it was, he went there with the desire to find the kind of best mates his Father had found among the magical castle walls.  

That hope had been shoot down the moment the headmaster announced what he was. Harry, always eager to put Orion in his place, jumped at the chance to turn everyone against him until it felt like he was sitting behind enemy lines no matter where he was.

 Add to the fact, he was sharing a room with Harry and his new idiot best friends not to mention the open hostility Weasley and Longbottom showed when drawing that line. Orion could honestly say he hated every second of his schooling.

Throughout the year, the eleven-year-old encountered some kids who seem friendly at first, but it all had ended up as a prank, often with Harry as the mastermind behind them. It was eye-opening, in a twisted so of way, to realize just how the world saw him. 

A part of him wanted nothing more than to burn the second year Hogwarts letter and never return. But he was no coward. He would not run away from reality. He was a Gryffindor after all, and he would endure these next six years like he did his first. (Maybe, just maybe this year will be different? First years wouldn’t be told of his status...maybe one of them would like him) 

“’ Rion? Would you like to go get your books first or some new robes?” Father called, smile soft but the corners of his eyes strain with distress when his son did nothing more than stare at him for a few seconds before shrugging.

All summer long, the young werewolf had spoken as minimum as he could, shut away in his room. He’s always been a bit reserved and socially awkward but never to these levels.

Orion knew his parents were worried, had known each time they came over during the full moons. They tried their best to cheer him up, to get him to talk but even that took the levels of energy he just wasn’t feeling anymore. Each passing day at Hogwarts caused him to shrink further in on himself in order to protect what little Orion could of his heart and now, well into the summer he seem unable to unshrink. Not even for his parents’ sake. 

“Well, how about-”  

Whatever Father was going to say was lost on Orion, because his attention had been taken by a new store. The one that had just open with no pre-warning. (Magic buildings tended to do that but they were at least advertise days beforehand in order to generate some kind of clientele).  

Or to be more precise Orion’s attention had been taken by the young boy standing in front of it, who was staring right back at him with wide eye astonishment. The boy was small, almost delicate face but painfully average and the only thing that really stood out were his green eyes. He was wearing Muggle brown trousers and a plain white shirt, a white apron was thrown over his outfit and a tray of little cups in his hands.

He must have been handing out samples. 

Orion sent him a sneer, suddenly angry that even here, even away from his classmates, other kids still stare at him like he shouldn't be real. 

The boy didn’t so much as blink. He returns the sneer with an intrigued look, unoffended in any kind of way before his eyes shift up to look at Father who had to realize Orion was no longer listening. It was only because he was watching that Orion caught the ripple of emotions that went over the boy’s face before it settles into a calm friendly glance.

“Is that one of your school friends?” Father asks a tad bit too eagerly. To Orion’s horror, he was already moving in the direction of the child even before finishing his question.

This seems to be all the approval the stranger needs, seeing as he straightens up, turning in their direction fully. Before he could state he had no friends, the boy left his post and was walking quickly in their direction.

It was almost a run, but the boy didn’t seem to waste a single step, graceful in a way that didn’t make sense. There might be a mistake, maybe the sounds of the always busy alley masking it, but he swore he couldn’t hear his footsteps either.  In only a matter of seconds, he was standing before Orion, holding out his little try.

“Free sample?”  The werewolf didn’t miss the way he seems to stare at him like he was drinking up his features. 

Orion said nothing staring back at him before his father cleared his throat an obvious sign he was disapproving of his manners.  “Um, what is it?”

“Dragon’s Breath. You stick the puffball in any of these flavors and blow smoke out while you eat” The boy said easily, and for a startling moment, he realizes he may not be all that young. In fact, they may even be near the same age despite how tiny this kid was.  “It’s really popular in the States.”

“Are you from the States?” Father asked taking the toothpick the boy offers and stabbing one of the puffs. He quickly dunks it in the white melted chocolate like Orion knew he would.  

“I’m from all over.” The kid answers staring up at him with an odd emotion in his eyes.  “My parents were curse breakers so the family traveled a lot.”

His eyes flicker to Orion.  “Would you like one?”

He doesn’t answer, and the air thickens with awkward stillness for a few seconds before Orion careful takes one of the puffs going for the caramel flavor. Luckily the other doesn’t seem all that offended, patiently giving him time to decide what he wanted. 

Once it’s in his mouth the flavor of caramel dances over his tongue, and he makes a small O with his lips as smoke rushes out. It’s not a little puff like he expected by a long white smoky breath of air that curls and flickers in the air. 

It’s kinda wicked.

His Father blows out his own smoke smiling. It’s as interesting watching as it is being the one to perform it. “Your dad would love this.”

The boy beams.  “We sell some take-home boxes with various flavors if you like to take him some? I’m Hadrian by the way. Hadrian Evans”

“Remus Lupin,” Father answers charmed by Evans. “This is my son Orion Black.”

If he’s curious about the different last names then Evans doesn’t show it. Instead, he bobs his head at him respectfully. “Nice to meet you”

Maybe this year was worst on him then he thought because Orion finds words falling out of his mouth before he can stop himself. “I’m a werewolf.”

He waits for the fear, or the hatred aware his father has stiffened next to him but unwilling to look away from the green eyes. Evans doesn’t faze in the slightest instead, he raises a brow looking far too amused. “That’s nice. I’m a wizard myself”

He wonders if the bewilderment he feels is showing on his face. It was...such a lack of reaction even Father did a double take. What does one even say to that? 

Evans suddenly smiles, warm and friendly in equal parts, and Orion doesn’t know what to do in the glory of it.  “I like you.”

Is this what it feels like to be kicked in the chest?  

“Hadrian Evans!” A man’s voice suddenly cuts through the air, sharp with chiding. Evans winces, for the first time looking like a child. 

Walking towards them is an older looking Evans. He’s got long dark uncontrol hair, poorly pulled into a ponytail, like it was shoved there despite it not wanting to be. Loose stands swung rebelliously out, his green eyes aren’t nearly as bright at Evans, more moss then brilliant jewel but they are the same shapes.  

He’s older but far too young to be Evans father. A brother perhaps? 

His face is pulled into a nasty scowl. “Young man, what did I say about wandering off by yourself? You could have been kidnapped!”

“Sorry Will,” Evans tells...older Evans.  He gestures to the werewolves, his eyes seemed to convey another strange emotion.  “I just wanted to meet someone my age.”

Orion feels his face heat up as the older man cuts his gaze at him and Father, looking like he suddenly understands why Evans disobeyed him. For some reason, he is embarrassed by that. (From the corner of his eye he peaks up at his parent and is meet with gleeful amusement, beaming in parental pride. His face grows hotter)

“It’s fine, just don’t do it again.” He huffs rubbing Evans’ hair roughly. He grins over at the werewolves open and friendly as Evans. “Sorry about him. He tends to ignore social rules. I’m Will Evans, this brat’s older brother.”

The pair of brothers invite them back to their shop, called Dimension Hoppers, which turns out to be a general store of various imported objects from all over the world. There are so many new things that Orion could barely choose where to look, Hadrien dragging him along pointing and explaining what each item was, with obvious enthusiasm. 

Especially when they came across the Ancient Runes section. Orion thinks that’s his new...friend?...favorite topic.

Obviously, he had some experience as a salesman, because he doesn’t flatter whenever Orion asks questions nor tries to push a sale. He just gives a general tour of all the allies as the grown-up talk up front.

Turns out Will was also a curse breaker, following his parents' footsteps. After their deaths, he gained guardship over Hadrian and had chosen to start a business using the family connects to supply rare objects from around the world, so he could be close by when Hadrien started Hogwarts. 

“He was going to homeschool me,” Hadrian says a few hours later walking with him as the pair finish shopping for their school supplies that weren’t sold in his brother's shop. 

Which were only like five things. Orion himself had most of his list finished there too. The prices were much fairer and his Father had been overjoyed that they could save some for new robes. 

“But I kinda always wanted to go to an actual school instead of being taught everything on the road, you know?”

He didn’t. But he also didn’t know how in the world he left Dimension Hoppers with an invitation to come back and hang out sometime before Hogwarts. Nor why in world, Will had passed him some Dragon Breath’s boxes on the house for his brother’s first friend on their way out.

His father wouldn’t stop smiling and...neither could he. Orion hadn’t had this much fun in a long time. He already couldn’t wait to see Hadrian again. 

Maybe his second year at Hogwarts won’t be all that bad after all.

[thelawyerthatwaspromised]

Episode 1 Should Have Been Titled “The Truth”

Simply put...there was major indications that we are getting dark!Dany, Jonsa, and political!Jon in this last season. The major signs and subtle nuances were extremely consistent. The only real complaints I’ve seen is the “flavor” of some of Jon’s actions in episode 1. It’s an understandable criticism but I really think we were fed quite well for a premiere and a TON of plot boxes were checked off and done so quickly enough that the “there’s no enough time!” argument against the Big 3 is really starting to ring hollow.

I think I’ll work largely going theory by theory here and showing what makes them all even more likely than ever.

Big 3 Jonsa Fan Theories

1.) dark!Dany

If you don’t know already...the dark!Dany theory is the idea that Daenerys Targaryen’s arc has been tell the story of an emerging antagonist - principally with Jon Snow as her main political foe. 

This is probably the easiest of the Big 3 to identify in Winterfell. Right off the bat, we get a glimpse. The Northerners don’t approve of Dany, very clearly. She gets satisfaction when her dragons flyover and terrify the bejeebers out of the commoners. 

Charming.

We move on to the terrifically uncomfortable first meeting with Sansa...and we all know how this went.

I think EC did a really good job conveying the air of superiority and her dissatisfaction with Sansa’s response.

Dany doesn’t have much a poker face. And it’s shown to be contentious for good reason.

This is the first time she’s ever been to WF and she expects to be called “My Queen” like everybody is Jorah Mormont. That’s just not how it works. The first town hall meeting with the North goes even worse than the initial greeting.

“What exactly do dragons eat anyway?” “Whatever they want.”

Bingo bango. If EVER you needed a money quote point to Dany both 1) being oblivious to what it means to be a good politician; and 2) being an entitled ruler who believes the rules don’t apply to her...this is it.

And it mirrors what we’ve seen before with regard to the dragons.

Ring a bell?

Then we get maybe the darkest Dany moment of the episode. Well...at least one of the top 10 darkest Dany moments of the episode.

“If she can’t respect me...”

Then what, Dany?

Her subtle head shake before she says it conveys a “don’t you get it, Jon?” She follows it up with a very intentional narrowing of her eyes...she’s letting Jon fill in the blanks of what she means here. It’s impossible to ignore the implications. 

Notice that Jon doesn’t look too thrilled and gets yet more confirmation that he is walking a very, very fine line.

Next, we get the culmination of a lot of offseason speculation that, as a Jonsa/dark!Dany/political!Jon believer...was told was NEVER going to become an issue: the burning of Randyll and Dickon Tarly.

Let’s recap...

Wonderful advice. Then..

We know how this turned out. And we were shown pretty emphatically that, yes, burning a father and son alive when they are prisoners of war is going to be viewed negatively by a family member of that father and son and it’s probably going to have an effect on how a region feels about you when your father started a war by deciding to burn a father and son alive (or burning a father and strangling a son, as in the books). 

So she bumps into Sam. Because Sam’s connection to Jorah does, again, matter. Sam happens to mention he belongs to House Tarly...and Dany’s demeanor gets noticeably stiffer and more steely. 

Let’s unpack this. 

Randyll Tarly wasn’t executed for being a bad father. He wasn’t executed as a form of justice for “betraying” House Tyrell. He was executed specifically because he would not bend the knee. Bending the knee would have allowed Randyll Tarly to have the exact same lifestyle he’d had before he’d bent the knee. So, again, this was not an act of justice. It was an act of dominance. Unequivocally. 

Then...she reveals that Dickon Tarly was executed likewise for:

...standing by his dad. Please, if you have belief in Daenerys as a hero at this point, consider the extraordinary meaning of her words here. 

The Loot Train Battle was a temporary triumph and a long term disaster for Dany. There’s not enough food to eat and she executed the members of maybe the greatest non-great house (in stature) in Westeros, people that could have at the very least been valuable hostages. And it’s hurting her now even double because the surviving son of the man she executed is best friends with the man she wants to romance and who holds her only chance for political cohesiveness in her newly “acquired” kingdom. What a complete and total disaster for her. Rightfully so.

2.) political!Jon

I’m going to say that political!Jon is probably the hardest of the Big 3 to identify in the episode...but then again it was hard to identify last season too. The difference is that I’ve actually been seeing much more popular speculation that Jon isn’t necessarily as blind and foolish as he might be leading on. 

First, let me remind everyone of what I think is basically the central thesis of political!Jon:

political!Jon is the theory that Jon’s main objective for the entirety of the time after he left Winterfell was centered on obtaining Daenerys as an ally so that her resources could be redirected to the Army of the Dead. This objective was the primary reason for every significant action he took in Season 7, culminating in Jon determining that he must bend the knee in order to get Daenerys’ help in the North.

What I’m seeing from Jon, maybe more than I even anticipated from Season 7 is that his actions are also colored by a distinct emotion that seems to be increasing as the “game” goes on: fear.

Yes, Jon is afraid of what Dany might be capable of doing. To his war efforts. To his home. To his loved ones. So now, I’m practically ready to amend my central thesis of political!Jon to read:

political!Jon is the theory that Jon’s main objective for the entirety of the time after he left Winterfell was centered on obtaining Daenerys as an ally so that her resources could be redirected to the Army of the Dead. This objective was the primary reason for every significant action he took in Season 7, culminating in Jon determining that he must bend the knee in order to get Daenerys’ help in the North - and an increasing realization that, at all costs, Jon must never appear to be a threat to Daenerys’ quest for power else he and his loved ones would become her enemy and he is not powerful enough to stop her.

It’s startling in a way. He truly is Torrhen Stark in this scenario. Think back to what Jon’s seen:

A terrifying first meeting where he’s told that by calling himself a king, he’s in open rebellion against Daenerys...

And asserted her belief that she is entitled to his home...

She leveraged his fear of destruction to demand that he bend the knee...

He watched her berate her Hand for the crime of not wanting his family dead quite enough for her liking...

He had to talk her out of using her dragons on King’s Landing...

He knows how she views her “children” as her source of “specialness” and that she craves being viewed as special...

Because she told him exactly that...

And he knows that even after SEEING the Night King, she gave him no indication that she was willing to halt her war efforts in the south to help save the world unless Cersei agreed. (she also stupidly believed Cersei)

So we get to the first town hall meeting...and Jon drops this incredible truth bomb...

Act surprised if you want...but he’s only confirming what he’s said the whole damn time...

He declared in front of EVERYBODY that he could not protect the North while holding onto his crown. He doesn’t care about Dany getting her chair. He doesn’t care about her war against Cersei. BUT because of who Dany revealed herself to be throughout the Season 7 (very powerful and very volatile) Jon’s learned that being her enemy is an untenable position. 

Follow this thought process if you’re still skeptical:

Did Jon believe his crown was important?

Yes, he refused to give it up during the season because of exactly that. It does matter.

Why would he change his mind then?

Theory 1: His relationship with Dany has shown him that titles don’t matter. Ok, well that’s hogwash because now Dany is threatening Sansa for not respecting her enough...and Jon himself was threatened in Season 7 for not bowing to her and calling her Queen.

or

Theory 2: Jon is intimately aware of how important titles are to Daenerys. And that’s exactly why he has to make her believe he could never be threat to her. He knows the things she’s said; the things she’s threatened. He knows how her priorities...else the Dragonpit summit wouldn’t have been necessary to get Dany’s agreement to help in the North. Jon is terrified of the idea of becoming her enemy because he knows how incapable Dany is at seeing things any way other than black and white.

Considering Jon explicitly states that having the crown prevents him protecting the North...I know which theory I find more plausible. You can make up your own mind on that.

This explains Jon’s behavior, I think, better than any other idea. Jon fears Dany. He fears that speaking out against Dany exposes people he cares about. He needs them to realize that this is a dangerous situation. And I think they get that - but I’m not quite sure yet that they understand the amount of destruction that Dany has openly threatened to exact on her enemies. 

Sansa is more outspoken now and more confident. When Jon jokes with Arya about Sansa thinking she’s smarter than everyone, he very obviously remembers back when Sansa said that Dany would try to force his political submission before he left for Dragonstone. And that’s exactly what happened. He told Tyrion that Sansa is smart. It’s not a secret that he knows Sansa is smart. But, in my opinion, his fear is centered on Sansa being outspoken to the point where she enrages Dany and puts herself at risk...which is EXACTLY what happened...

This is precisely what Jon fears. 

“I’ll protect you, I promise” and

“I had a choice: keep my crown or protect the North.”

His submission is his way of preserving lives. 

What’s the best indication that Jon fears Dany? It’s the R+L=J reveal.

So Jon’s finding this out for the first time...his initial reaction is disgust. It took Jon 16 seconds to say “I’m so sorry”. He was at a loss for words. And then Jon has to deflect, deflect, deflect. 

His next words? Do they address the problem? Or do they display the heart of Jon’s problem? The latter.

This is a big nothing from Jon. The reality is that this war has put Jon in an absolutely terrible situation and he hates it. But what “war”? Hasn’t he pledged himself in TWO wars?

Why would defeating the NK be in any way connected to Dany killing the Tarlys in the other war? The answer? Jon’s only doing what he’s doing and not openly confronting the realities of who Dany is because he absolutely believes that he MUST delay addressing this situation because raising issues with Dany when the war with the NK is so near creates havoc that Jon can’t even comprehend.

He’s terrified of addressing what’s happened to Sam’s family and he’s probably not even sure what to do next. 

To Sam’s credit, he cuts right through the bullshit and presses Jon on the “rightness” of Dany’s actions: “would you have done it?”

I’m not going to go into some silly discussion about “well gosh, hanging Olly is exactly the same as executing the Tarlys”. They’re not the same, but it doesn’t really matter because according to the writers - executing prisoners of war for not bending the knee is very very bad and significantly different than hanging someone who stabbed you in the chest. And we all know Jon Snow wouldn’t execute someone for the simple crime of not bending the knee and recognizing him as a monarch. Every single shallow thing Jon says back is countered immediately by Sam because we know that Sam’s right.

“I wasn’t a king” “But you were. You’ve always been.” “I gave up my crown, Sam...”

JON WALKS AWAY AFTER TELLING SAM HE GAVE UP HIS CROWN.

He’s visibly upset about it. Sam tells him that Dany executed his family...and Jon feels powerless to do anything about it. He tries to walk away when telling Sam he gave up his crown.

Ok, so, if titles don’t matter, then why does having a crown or not having a crown determine whether Jon can say whether he would or wouldn’t have made the same choice Dany made? Jon is saying it’s his not his place to say because he doesn’t have a crown anymore - just after saying that titles and crowns don’t matter.

They do matter. And Jon knows this. But he can’t say it. Not yet.

The last bit of powerful political!Jon evidence is in Jon’s reaction to being told he’s the rightful heir. That, in Sam’s opinion, Jon should be the King and Dany should not by Queen. (gonna go ahead and say this means Sam’s not going to be in favor of Jon-Dany marriage...)

Jon’s first thoughts are to step towards Sam and express anger that Ned lied all those years. Then Sam explains that Ned did it to protect him. And that Jon is the TRUE King. And this is where Jon’s episode-long poker face starts to really fall apart. Jon’s backing away. Stunned. Not totally unexpected...but it’s his first words that REALLY paint the picture.

He’s immediately terrified of the talk of succession. If Jon is SO SURE that titles don’t matter. If he’s SO SURE that she’s a good queen. If he’s SO SURE that “it doesn’t matter” - why are these his thoughts. Why is he panicked? Why is he unable to make eye contact? He learns that his birth wasn’t anything like he thought and his first real words about it jump to what it means for him politically.

Sam says what he thinks: she shouldn’t be the Queen. And this evokes terror in Jon’s mind...

It’s treason. His birth status would be viewed as treason. If Dany is a just queen. If she believes in the rule of law. Then Jon SHOULD be the King and Dany should not be the Queen. it’s the line of succession. But...again...titles DO matter. They matter to Daenerys above all. Jon has spent the entire time since he bent the knee trying to craft an image of himself as a total non-threat. 

He had made the best decision for the safety of his people.

“When you play the Game of Thrones; you win or you die.”

Jon had very intentionally played the Game of Thrones by not playing the game of thrones. It was the only way for him to survive. Now, The Truth of his birth throws his entire plan out the window. He’s scared. He’s backing away. He’s panicking. Because he knows what it means. He realized at some point that when it comes to Daenerys Stormborn or House Targaryen, you bend the knee and live or you do not, and you die. 

Daenerys essentially uses “you win or you die” as her motto. Jon chose the option that Mance refused. He bent the knee. He became Torrhen Stark. Except now imagine he is exactly the threat to Dany’s reign that he tried so tirelessly to avoid. 

It’s so clear in Jon’s reactions that he’s afraid. It’s so clear in what he said that he came to view his crown as a threat to the safety of his people BECAUSE titles matter so deeply to Dany. RLJ just exposed ALL of that because his reaction is utter terror.

I can’t even get to the Jonsa stuff because this got so long...but I’m going to end with the central question of the episode and one that Jon doesn’t answer, mostly because of the terrible implications of the question itself.

No. She wouldn’t. And he’s known it all along. And The Truth of that is what scares him most of all.

[misssunflowersandsangria]

Roses

Chapter 7: White Roses

Hello, my beautiful readers!  Here we are at the end.  Thank you for sticking with me till the end.  I loved writing this story so much and I hoped that you enjoyed it as well.  

Summary: Life is a wonderful thing. 

White Roses: Suited to reverent occasions, the white rose is a fitting way to honor a friend or loved one in recognition of a new beginning or a farewell. Their pure color conveys respect, pays homage to new starts and expresses hope for the future.

Flashback

“This assignment is ridiculous.  How can we possibly know where we’ll be in 10 years?”  Sai complained staring at the blank document on the screen.  Life had been quite unpredictable so far.  How could he possibly try to imagine his future?

Ino looked up at him surprised. “You don’t know?”

“You do?”

“Of course!”

He just smiled at her amused.  “Please enlighten me.”

“Okay, so ten years from now means that we will have just finished university and we’ll be graduating.  By that time you’ll have become a super famous artist.”

“Really?”  He couldn’t help but grin at how animated and excited she was while developing their imagined future. 

“Yes!  They’ll eat up the tragic orphan story.”

“Thank you for narrating my pain.”

She just waved off his concerns.  “Oh, hush.  It’s part of the mystique.  Anyway, you’ll have already made a ton of money selling your paintings and you'll have spent a good amount of it on your very best friend.”

“Who might that be?”  He teased her to which she just ruffled his hair. 

“Stop it, you love me.  As I was saying you’ll be this super amazing famous artist and I’ll be your wonderful best friend that you’ll attribute all your success to.  We’ll move into this amazing house.  You know the one you promised to buy me.”

“The one that you’re forcing me to buy you with all my hard-earned artist money.”

“Yes, precisely!  I’ll keep going to school to be something really awesome like a doctor.  You’ll keep painting and we’ll be happy.”

He just smiled at the simplicity but perfection of the future she painted.  They were still together, pursuing their dreams and happy.  It was more than he could ever hope for.

“So we’re still best friends ten years from now?”

“Obviously, nothing will ever change that.”  She promised with a bright smile. 

He nodded praying that Ino got everything that she dreamed of and that he would be lucky enough to see those wishes come true.   “Okay, I’m going to write that for my essay.”

“Hey!”

End Flashback

At the end of the semester, Sai sat with the Yamanakas cheering along as Ino and their friends crossed the stage to collect their degrees.  

As a teacher and as a friend it was very gratifying to see them all take that leap into adulthood.  The world wasn’t quite ready for them yet.

His gallery opening had gone well and the critics hailed it as a renaissance. His work was new, innovative and different from what he’d done before. He had multiple offers for his drawing of Ino. Especially upon knowing that it was one of his original works. He refused each time. It was far too precious to him. 

As he reflected on the path that life had taken him he appreciated all the highs and the lows.  His life was far better than most and he knew that it could have been a lot different if one pretty blonde girl hadn’t chosen to become his friend.  

He had always imagined that a relationship with her would be incredible but he could have never envisioned just how sweet it would be.  He’d struggled his whole life to find a place in the world, to find somewhere that he belonged.  All along that place was with her.  When they were younger they would dream about this moment.  Becoming adults, entering the real world together.  It was the future that he would picture when he was sad and alone.  Life had a funny way of working out.

His class had given him a glowing review at the end of the semester. Many of his students came up to him personally to tell him that they were now interested in the Arts.  The university had been so impressed that they offered him an additional class to teach the following semester.  He was thankful for the opportunity, excited to inspire the next generation of artists.    

Ino may not have a future in art but she had chosen a path in life.   After a quick vacation together she was jumping headfirst into a post-baccalaureate program to pursue her Ph.D.  She wanted to become a Psychologist.  She’d always wanted to help people and relished in the idea of helping them heal mentally and emotionally.

Once the ceremony was over she ran over to her parents who heaped on praises and words of congratulations.  They had been in tears the entire ceremony overwhelmed with pride.  

Sai greeted her with open arms.  “Congratulations beautiful.”  He kissed her forehead affectionately. 

“Thank you, Sai.”  She took a deep breath to take in the moment.  “I’m happy that you’re here.”  Neither took for granted that they were there in this moment together. 

He squeezed her just a little tighter. “Me too.  I have a surprise for you.” 

“Another one?” She asked touching the rose pendant on her necklace that he’d given her that morning.

“Yes.” 

“Go, sweetheart, we’ll see you at the party tonight.”  Her mom assured her excitedly knowing about the surprise. The parents of all their friends decided to host one large graduation party that evening.

Ino nodded, her boyfriend never failed to amaze her. “Okay, lead the way.” 

He drove them about 20 minutes away from the university to a small neighborhood the street lined with large trees.   Beautiful family homes filled the sidewalk while kids played and ran up and down the streets. 

She stared out the window awed by the different homes they passed.  “Where are we? Is the surprise here?” 

He simply kissed her knuckles. “Patience Beautiful.” 

He parked in the driveway connected to the house on the corner. It had a large front yard with a welcoming doorway. From outside she could see large windows that showcased the interior.

Surprising her he took out a key from his pocket taking her hand to bring her inside. The entryway was large featuring a spiral staircase to the second story.  It was spacious and she could easily imagine a family making wonderful memories there. 

“Sai? What are we doing here?”  Why did he have a key?  Was it okay that they were just walking into someone’s house?

“Just a minute.”  He led her through the kitchen out towards the porch.  Walking outside she was floored by a gorgeous garden filled with flowers, purple bush clovers, and roses of every color.  Suddenly it began to dawn on her. 

Taking her into his arms he whispered.  “Welcome home Ino.”

She felt her breath catch.  “What?”

“I bought you your house with a garden of roses and bush clovers.” 

She brought a hand to cover her mouth stunned and overwhelmed.  “Sai…”

“If you hate it we can always find another one-“

“No, Sai, it’s perfect.  Thank you. That’s not enough but I’m speechless.” She couldn’t believe that he remembered that conversation. 

“Just imagine it.  I can paint out here. We’ll set up your office upstairs. Our son can play in the living room and ride his bike down the street.  I think that we can be very happy here.”  His smile was so bright and his eyes looked so hopeful.  

There was no stopping the flood of tears. The life and future that he described of home, and family. There was little else that she could want in life.  She had her best friend, her true love and a home that they would build and fill with memories.  They would experience birthdays, anniversaries, milestones and celebrations.  Once they all had kids, Chouji and Shikamaru’s kids would come by and play and their babies would become an unstoppable trio.  The next generation of InoShikaCho.  Her and Sai would grow old together and fall more in love with every passing day. No matter what may come she knew that they would be happy.  And she knew at this moment that she was the luckiest girl in the world. 

They walked hand in hand amongst the roses before touring their house.  She couldn’t have dreamt a more perfect place for them to build their lives together.

“Sai, this is incredible.  I love you so much.”  His thumbs brushed the tears away from her eyes.  

“I love you too Beautiful, I’m excited for our adventure to continue.”  He kissed her with the promise of their future and forever on his lips. 

Flashforward 

“Ready to go see your mommy graduate Jin?”  Inojin just giggled smiling and looking up at his father.  While Ino prepared for the graduation ceremony they spent the morning outside tending to the garden. 

“This hat is hideous,”  Ino complained before placing it on Inojin’s head. He just grabbed at it before placing it in his mouth. 

They smiled down at their sweet baby before Sai pulled her into his arms. “How are you feeling Dr. Yamanaka?”  Sai asked with a grin knowing how relieved and excited she was to finally be done with school. 

Her arms were wrapped tightly around him sighing against his chest.  “Wonderful Mr. Yamanaka.  Is Inojin all ready to go?”

“All set.”  It wasn’t the easiest thing in the world to have a baby while trying to complete a doctorate program but Ino wanted to start a family and his flexible schedule helped out a lot.  Inojin was their final missing piece, giving them a sense of completion and joy.  Sai couldn’t wait to be a father, ready and excited to give his son the childhood and experiences he didn’t have. 

“I’m very proud of you Beautiful.”

She smiled at him before reaching up for a kiss.  Relief, joy, and appreciation a mix of emotions ran through her.  While he was gone she’d all but given up on the idyllic future she’d imagined with him.  Their life now though was far better than either of them could have ever dreamt.  

Sai held onto his family taking a moment to thank the universe for his wife and son, for this family and life that they shared.  Their journey may have taken some twists and turns, but it was worth it for all the roads led him there.  A life with his Loves amongst the roses. 

The End 

Roses: 🌷

Chapter 1: Roses

Chapter 2: Yellow Roses

Chapter 3: Purple Roses

Chapter 4: Pink Roses

Chapter 5: Orange Roses

Chapter 6: Red Roses

Chapter 7: White Roses 

Thank you again for all your love and support.  They are such an amazing couple and that made it so easy to write for them.  I hope to have something for them again soon.  But till the next one, thank you and I love you! 💕

[favescandis]

Mads Mikkelsen in AUGUSTMAN SG

Photos by Carlos Serraro. Words by Alexandra Pollard/Farhan Shah (June 2019)

article also found on augustman.com:

THE ENIGMATIC MADS MIKKELSEN IS HAVING A MOMENT THIS YEAR

“In many ways, it was the most physical thing I’ve ever done,” says Mads Mikkelsen of his film, Arctic, the gruelling tale of a man stranded in the snowy wilderness. “Ever.” It’s a big claim, especially coming from Mikkelsen. For one thing, the Danish actor had started out as a gymnast, then spent a decade as a dancer before quitting to study drama in 1996. He was already 31 at this point, but it didn’t take him long to make his mark – that same year, he appeared in the first of Nicolas Winding Refn’s acclaimed Pusher trilogy as a troubled heroin dealer, a role he reprised in 2004 to critical acclaim. In 2006, he broke out worldwide as eye-bleeding villain Le Chiffre in the Bond film Casino Royale. Later came The Hunt (2012) – a forthright and hauntingly nuanced portrait of a man falsely accused of child sexual abuse – and more mainstream fare, such as Marvel’s Doctor Strange, and Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.

And Arctic? It’s one of those sleeper hits that, much like a stone rolling down a steep snowy slope, has increasingly garnered acclaim from plaudits and audiences alike, long after its run in the cinema has ended. Much of this can be attributed to Mikkelsen, who is a riveting tour de force. It’s the type of film that sinks or swims based on the performance of one person. Mikkelsen hauls the film on his back and drags it along the ice to its very thrilling end. If anything, it very much resembles a certain A-List actor who goes by the moniker Leo and his performance in the harrowing The Revenant.

A Quiet Danish The 53-year-old has built a career on bringing gruff gravitas to smaller films, and a left-field sensibility – helped by his inscrutable face, all high cheekbones and distinctive pout – to mainstream ones. But today, he doesn’t want to talk about any of that. He is here to talk about Arctic. And only Arctic.

In fact, Mikkelsen won’t even roam into Arctic-adjacent territory. I mention a recent interview, in which he contested the idea that there’s a message about climate change wrapped up in the film’s stark survivalist narrative.

“That’s not what the film is about, that’s not the reason we made the film,” he says. “It’s a film about the difference between surviving and being alive. It’s a film about humanity.” Does he feel that in the current climate, both literally and politically speaking, people are increasingly seeing allegories that aren’t necessarily there? “I know exactly what you’re talking about, it’s The Guardian,” he says. “Of course that writer chose to make it what he wants, so I’m not making that mistake again. I’m talking about this film, and that’s it.”

So he doesn’t want to talk about anything else except the film? “No, because it always turns out to be the main message in the interview, and I’m not walking into that trap again.”

I can see why Mikkelsen is so cautious – that interview certainly contained some contentious quotes – though I find it hard to see how he was “trapped”. After all, surely nobody forced him to say: “Yeah, the climate is changing, but to what degree are we a part of it, and to what degree are we not and what to do about that is a big question. I mean the science is divided. Right now it seems like it’s not, but it is divided.” He went on to suggest that nuclear energy was a possible solution, “but nobody wants to have a talk about that”. When the interviewer brought up #MeToo, Mikkelsen said he was “reluctant to go there”, citing the response to a 2017 Matt Damon interview – in which he suggested that sexual misconduct allegations be treated on a “spectrum of behaviour” – as evidence that “this is not a healthy discussion any more”.

Does he feel he was misquoted? “Basically what I was trying to tell him is that when there is a conflict in the world, which there always is, and there is definitely now, the problem is the real lack of communication between the two sides. And it seems to be that nobody is really interested in having that conversation, and that communication. And that’s all I have to say about that subject.” I breeze past the mild irony in what he’s just said.

I had wanted to ask him his thoughts on the progress of diversity in Hollywood, given that he’s been involved in three major franchises – Bond, Star Wars and Marvel – all of which are having to confront historical deficiencies in that regard. “I have tons to say about that,” he says, “but not in this interview. I’m trying to sell a film that I’m immensely proud of, and I know that it will drown unless we just stick to the subject.”

Into The Wilderness Back to the film, then. Thankfully, it’s a very good one. Aside from the brief, startling appearance of a polar bear (“It was a so-called ‘semi-trained’ polar bear, and that little giveaway told us absolutely not to go anywhere near it”), Arctic is a two-hander. In fact, Mikkelsen’s Overgård spends the first third entirely alone. We observe him going through the motions of his daily ritual – catching fish, carving out “SOS” in huge letters in the snow, checking his radio transmitter for signs of life – though he seems to have given up hope of being found. “He’s just there, he’s existing,” says Mikkelsen. “He’s surviving, rather than being alive.”

In another interview, the Danish actor revealed that he walked for 12 to 13 hours every day for the film. “Just to get the amount of calories [for that] was impossible. So I just forgot to eat that much and got weaker and weaker from day one.” Much like how his character become more and more frail as the film progressed.

It was crucial to Mikkelsen that the movie not fall into the “flashback trap”. We learn very little about the protagonist, what his life was like before his helicopter crashed. “In the ’80s, we started doing flashbacks and then everyone fell in love with that,” says Mikkelsen. The way he sees it, almost every film these days uses that structure. Or, at least, has the lead character regaling another with the story of their past.

“It becomes a problem when we think it is a necessity, that we have to know that he has two blonde boys back home who are waiting for papa to come home. I mean, seriously, isn’t it heartbreaking enough? Do we really have to see these two kids crying back home? Can’t we just imagine how painful it is for everyone? I think that is the strength of this film, not to play the violins of emotions. And another thing, if we place him in a world that is very precise, it wouldn’t be me and you up there, it would be him, and we wanted it to be me and you in this situation. We wanted it to be a film about humanity and not a film about a specific person.”

If at first it is us and him, soon a third party enters the picture. When another helicopter crashes nearby, killing the pilot instantly, Overgård is given a reason to live. A young woman (María Thelma), the only other person in the helicopter, is badly injured but alive. Helping her survive becomes his only goal. “His humanity starts coming back to him,” says Mikkelsen. “He becomes, slowly, more and more alive.”

When Thelma turned up for her first day of filming, Mikkelsen was elated. “That was the happiest day on set when she came,” he said. “I had spent so much time alone at that point, I was going crazy. Having an actor to talk to and go through ideas with was just a gift from heaven. And obviously for the character himself, it was also the best day of his life. Even though what happened was a disaster, it was also a gigantic gift.”

An Atypical Arc I was a little worried, when we first meet the woman (we never properly learn her name), that the film was going to turn into a romance. “I had the exact same feeling reading the script,” chuckles Mikkelsen, newly convivial, clearly happy to be back on topic. “She appeared and I was like, ‘Uh oh, here we go!’ I was so pleased it didn’t happen. If they’d spent 10 years out there, maybe it would have gone a different way, but that’s not the situation here. It’s absolutely not the first thing on your mind when you’re in a situation like this one. So yes, I was as pleased as you.”

There are moments of intimacy between them, though. At one point, when Overgård is laying the unconscious woman out onto a makeshift bed in his helicopter, he holds on to her for a moment longer than is strictly necessary. “It’s one of my favourite moments in the film,” says Mikkelsen. “It just came out of that situation actually, I was trying to lay her down on that bed, and then I realised that he would… he’s been craving this intimacy, another human being hasn’t been here for so long, so he just did it. It’s so beautiful. Not until we released the film… there were a few people commenting on that moment, in this era, [suggesting] that that could have been mistaken, but we never thought about that. We just thought it was such a beautiful moment.”

It’s not just because he’s had his fingers burnt that Mikkelsen only wants to talk about this film. He is evidently chuffed with it – particularly how it conveys with only the sparsest of dialogue the very essence of humanity and our need for connection. “It takes two to tango, it takes two people to become human,” he says. “It’s very, very difficult to be a human being all by yourself. So that’s the story we wanted to tell. In many ways, she’s the one saving him.”

Arctic is not the only glacial title that Mikkelsen acted in this year. He was also the lead in the Netflix film Polar, which has nothing to do with ice in spite of its name. It’s a return to form for Mikkelsen, who had been somewhat in the shadows for the past two years. But in some respects, Mikkelsen has perhaps come to grips with the new world now. And is ready to demonstrate to the younger audience why he’s always been known as the actor’s actor.

by Farhan Shah

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Here and in other places I at times try to look at things from an objective point of view.

 Obviously I talk about Spider-Man and comics and adaptations, so usually when I look I try to look at that stuff from an objective POV I mean I’m looking at it from a craftsmanship point of view. Now that itself can get complicated.

 But to give you an example If i was looking at a 1960s comic vs a modern comic I know the objective standards for that medium, in that country in that genre at the respective points in time are not going to be the same. So characters employing science that takes no account of how radiation gives you cancer in the 1960s is fine because no one in the 1960s knew that. Characters also acting unrealistically back in those stories is also fine and dandy. Objectively it was generally bad writing, but you do have to grade things on the curve, because the truth is in the 1960s the objective standards for realism in superhero comics wasn’t what it became elevated to later on. If a more modern comic tried that though, then that would indeed be objectively bad writing worthy of criticism. But let’s remember a massive reason standards in comics improved over time was precisely because people were critical of them. Stan Lee was critical of how idealized superheroes were, how unrealistic they were and in his work sought to do something different thus raising the bar on the over all quality of the genre. You can go much wider than just the degree of realism in stories but you get the picture.

 Of course  I’m not perfect. I’ve never claimed I was, never claimed I was faultless. Indeed that is why my blog clearly states in my top blurb:

 “ LOVE comments and questions so leave some as you pass by as well as call me on any facts I have gotten wrong.”

 Calling me on facts I’ve gotten wrong is part and parcel of how I value trying to be objective about things. However it doesn’t mean i’m just going to automatically accept anyone’s word that I’ve gotten a fact wrong or are mistaken. I disbelieve in obeying people’s words like that and not using scrutiny, I try to apply that to life in general.

 Again though, i’m not perfect, I can make mistakes and drop the ball. Thus when trying to be objective I can fail either because I’ve inadvertently assessed something from a subjective point of view or because I have a lack of information or because when presented with the factual information I’ve taken a look at it and misread it or misinterpreted it.

 On other occasions I simply might’ve inadvertently not used disclaimer words to make clear I’m talking about something merely from an emotional or off the cuff point of view. I may have written ‘This issue was this’ when I should have written ‘I feel this issue was this’. This is in fact why when I make posts about the latest issues I refer to them as my ‘Thoughts’ as opposed to referring to them as a review. A review implies I’m looking at it from a purely critical point of view, that I’m trying to be objective. In posts like ‘ASM #1 thoughts’ or whatever though I’m not, I’m giving you just my initial thoughts and feelings having recently read the story, gushing and ranting about whatever is in it. it may well be some of those things are also valid objective criticisms but that’s a whole other debate. But you know...sometimes I might convey my thoughts and feelings whilst forgetting to make clear they are in fact...just my thoughts and feelings. I can make a mistake as I’ve explained.

 WE ALL ARE CAPABLE OF THIS!

 I’ve also found people don’t really seem to get what being objective means. It’s not a state of being. It’s something you  try to practice at.

 It doesn’t mean ‘I am speaking with the absolute final definitive word on this subject.’

 It means ‘I’m presenting an assessment of the subject based upon a factual analysis of it’

 That doesn’t mean it cannot be incorrect because an individual may not be in possession of all the facts necessary to analyse the topic fully. This is why discussion, debate, scrutiny, etc are vitally important. By sharing information and testing said information we can improve one another’s understanding of something.

 Case in point a story could demand a certain level of knowledge of the cultural and historical context it was produced in to understand it fully. Doing so could greatly alter your perceptions of the story because you now get that the underlying context.

 I’ll give you a personal example that touches on Spider-Man. My introduction to Spidey was from the 1994 Spider-Man cartoon, and one of it’s more infamous episodes starred the Rocket Racer, who was from a working clad African American neighbourhood. As a kid I found this episode boring and emotionally unengaging. I hated how dumb the cops seemed to be in presuming the Rocket Racer a criminal, and of how Rocket Racer in turn was stupid for deciding to become a criminal due to that presumption and how dumb he and his mother seemed to be innot just telling the police that criminals were harassing their business.

 When I got older though and learned more...I got it. It was about well...racism.

 That’s a very emotive example I know but it proves my point. Information sharing can impact your understanding and thereby appreciation of media.

 With more facts under your belt you are better equipped to make an objective assessment of something.

 That doesn’t mean absolutely every aspect of everything can be objectively evaluated. But it’s also not the case that anything, or even clearly the majority of anything, involved in creative works is automatically falls under the banner of subjectivity. It’s complicated and needs to be deconstructed and looked at with nuance. For example a story’s structure can be objectively bad. A character’s characterization can be objectively bad. Pacing can be objectively bad.

 Saying ‘I found/felt those things to not be bad’ isn’t defending those things because it’s speaking purely from a subjective point of view.

 You can like/dislike whatever you want. That’s fine. But that doesn’t mean something is good or bad. You can enjoy something bad or dislike something good. You can have your cake and eat it. I unironically adore Revenge of the Sith but objectively the Empire Strikes Back is a superior film. However too often I find people use the defence of ‘their opinions’ as a shield against all scrutiny.

 I once encountered a particularly belligerent individual who repeatedly claimed that in their opinion Peter David wasn’t a good fit for Spider-Man anymore because he’d want to touch on topics at odds with Spider-Man like time travel and demons. His evidence for this was PAD’s use of demons and time travel in the Hulk and X-Men. When I challenged his views as illogical because of the long history of time travel and magic within those 2 franchises inviting the use of them, he became aggressive and defensive, insisting that it was essentially subjective...when it clearly wasn’t. He was condemning the chance for a writer to get work on grounds that never held up to scrutiny.

 This isn’t about comics but a lot of what I’ve been trying to convey is summed up in this video I’d recommend people watch.

[neokonewman]

Long Post Alert

This idea has been buzzing away in my head since the last Sanders Sides video and the most current one has finally ignited the flames of my motivation to follow this through. I’m going to try writing out detailed meta posts on each of the Sides, starting to with my abosute favorite boy, Logan.

Note, I am a lowly mobile bound user, so the “Read More” function is completely out of my whelm of power, as far as I know. I’ll be sure to tag this as “long post” because I have a lot to say. I apologize in advance for your dashes.

I mentioned in a previous post that I believe the main conflict with Logan vs his true role as “Logic” is that he misunderstands just how subjective one’s individual logic truly is. He denies his ability to have emotions, in a misguided attempt to appear as impartial as possible; however, one’s logic is not necessary fueled by purely objective reasoning. With more time to reflect on this theory, I’ve only grown more confident in this observation, and it’s not just by his obvious emotional outburst, but also by his behavior in general.

The point I would like to highlight first is his determination to keep up with social trends. This is not only relevant to him keeping flash cards of various slang words. Throughout the series Logan has displayed knowledge of internet culture such as him being the one to heavily advise Thomas make a clickbait title for his video about his time on a Disney Channel show, to the infamous dab for his “styling pair of Ruby Parkers.” While these can be seen as simple personality quirks to keep him from being too one note, I believe they also show off his (and by extent, Thomas’) unique brand of logic.

There are definitely people out there who do not share the same logic that they have to stay on top of the ever changing culture of slang, memes, and etc when it comes to internet culture. However, as someone whose main source of livelihood is social media, it makes perfect sense why Thomas would feel the pressing need to learn all the new ins and outs of his platform as well as his fanbase. This explains why Logan, who is someone who can seemingly produce a lecture of various philosophers and sciences on the fly, feels the extra need to break out the flash cards to sprinkle in as much correctly used slang as possible. He has the knowledge to teach, but he understands that he must make the extra effort to connect to Thomas’ audience.

Another example of his subjective nature is his love for learning, and in particular, science. In “Why Do We Get Out Of Bed In The Morning” Logan’s insists that the reward for living is experiencing life itself. Unlike, Roman, Logan does not want Thomas to strive for “something more”, but to appreciate this vast “biosphere” that is the world he has been born in. Obviously, this (plus his desire to want Thomas to keep improving himself academically) is tied to Thomas’ past desires to be a scientist (a biologist to be more precise). It also seems like Logan is much more comfortable with the academia side of things because Thomas had been pursuing that field for a great amount of time and the change of careers is still something Logan is getting used to accepting.

In turn, his bias for science also plays a role in Logan’s “random” love for rapping. Back in the Nostalgia episode, Thomas revealed that he was inspired to be a scientist from “The Rainforest Rap.” The moment Logan hears the song his eyes widen in excitement because to Thomas, it’s only logical that what inspired him is deemed as important and whole holding onto. Not only that, but rapping also ties into Thomas’ current profession as a performer/artist. Some believe that rap is strongly tied to poetry, as it is a form of artistic expression and creativity. This is later driven home with Logan and Roman being the ones to sing along to The Rainforest Rap together since it is a bridge between both of their values.

Now, onto the most important example, Logan’s love for Crofters. Oh yeah, I’m seriously going to tie this random gag that morphed into a permeant quirk with my analysis. Surprisingly enough, the reason I believe Logan attaches himself to this delectable fruit spread is pretty simple, although one could say a lot of his reasonings are simple if you think about it. Both Thomas and Roman have admitted that they were not normally jelly people, so it’s not that big of a stretch to say Logan is not one either. However, Crofters, startling enough, became the exception to all three of them. This means, “logically”, something has to be SUPER special about Crofters and deserves to be treated as such.

So now that I’ve gone over a few examples showing how Thomas’ own experiences and properties shape his logic (aka Logan), my next issue is ‘why?’ Why does Logan feel the need to put up a front to seem as objective and emotionless as possible? What motivates him to put a clear difference between him and the other sides, and why hasn’t he already dropped it after it’s been proven to be restrickening his ability to both learn and convey information, the two things that matter the most to him?

I believe the reason for this counterproductive mindset actually lies in how Thomas himself views logic. You must be asking me “how Thomas could be the one preventing Logan from accepting his emotions when Thomas himself has tried to get Logan to be more in tune with his feelings?”, but we must remember that all the Sides are just different parts of Thomas that he has personified in order to better understand himself. If Thomas truly wanted Logan to be more open to having emotions, surely the moment he thought about wanting him to, it would have already happened. I think there’s something in Thomas himself that’s holding Logan back, whether intention or otherwise.

With Deceit being a active player and having proven that Thomas does indeed have the power to hide parts of his personality he doesn’t necessary like away, it doesn’t seem like a stretch to assume that Thomas may not truly want to accept that Logan (aka his logic) can be swayed by emotion and/or is not as objective as he wants him to be. There is a sort of romantized notion that logical thinking is universal, that “common sense” is indeed common amongst the majority, and it’s the most perfect form of critical thinking, but that is just not the case.

Thomas chose to portray Logan as a teacher, a profession that, in theory, is expected to teach facts without personal biases getting too much in the way. He was made up as a seemingly perfect image of a sound and analytical mind. However, I agrue ever since Deceit was introduced, has become less and less his ideal vision of logic because Thomas became actively aware of his deceitful side and it paying more attention to the slips and noticeable inconsistencies. I think his way of doing so it calling Logan out on his denial of his emotions more seriously than ever before, but there is a part of Thomas that at least, isn’t ready to completely cross that bridge.

From the very beginning of the series, Thomas’ main goal was to see if he actually knew himself as well as he thought he did, and in light of recent events, I’m sure the results have been decided as no. Learning new things about yourself is scary and the more you question your morals, logic, hopes, and etc, the more it sets in how little you actually know about yourself. However, I believe, especially with the Deceit Arc picking up speed, we will be seeing Thomas continue this bumpy road, and maybe we shall see if his idea of Logan or all the other sides change as he delves deeper.

Whew, this turned out WAY longer than I expected it to be and it wasn’t even nearly as much as I wanted to go over with Logan, but perhaps that can come later, if people are interested. That being said, I hope people enjoyed my little ramblings on Logan and maybe be interested in hearing more about the others? If you are, how about suggesting one to me? Only if you want to of course, I could easily see this being an one and done sort of deal, but hey, I enjoyed writing all this out, so it’s not that big of a lost. Thanks for reading!

[kierkehaard]

Do Facts Care About Your Feelings?

Facts Don’t Care About Your Feelings (or, for short, FDCAYF). 

We’ve all heard this sentiment echoed before. In Ben Shapiro’s PragerU episode of the same name, on his Twitter feed, from the mouths of the millions of conservatives and alt-righters who tune in to his podcasts - the right wing has essentially heralded it as the be all and end all of one-liners to ‘destroy libtard SJWs’. At first glance, it seems like an impenetrable argument: after all, if facts did care about one’s feelings, then they’d cease to be objective. 

One thing I’ll credit Shapiro with is how effective this phrase is at conveying what he’s trying to say. It accomplishes multiple things at the same time. 

It:

1. Labels his opposition as ‘emotional’,

2. Makes a statement about the nature of facts, 

3. Establishes the possession of facts as incompatible with his opposition, and

4. Therefore implies that his opposition is blinded from the truth by feelings.

Hold up. Let’s take a look at Point 2 for a moment. It almost seems like FDCAYF is an epistemic claim; he’s discussing how facts work, and how we can get to know them.  I thought it might be interesting to see just how much this one-liner holds up to philosophical inspection.

Spoiler: eh, not much. 

How The Argument Works

First, let’s talk about what exactly Ben is saying here. He’s making an analysis of what facts are, and proposing a certain feature that all facts share (that feelings do not affect them). In order to figure out whether this is correct, we of course need to understand what a fact is. 

Many people, including some academic philosophers, would roughly define a fact as ‘a proposition that is true’. What this means is that, for something to be a fact, it must be truth-apt (be a statement that can be true or false), and it must be true. The reason why the first criterion is important is because it discounts statements that simply cannot possibly be true or false, like instructions or exclamations. ‘Go do your homework’ cannot be a fact because it doesn’t propose anything; likewise with something like ‘oh my god’ or ‘blimey’. On the other hand, a statement that does propose something that can be true or false like ‘tigers have four legs’ can be facts, as long as they’re true. That last bit is why ‘tigers have four legs’ is a fact, but ‘the grand canyon is a species of tiger’ is not; the former is a true proposition, while the latter is a false one. 

I would think that most supporters of Ben would agree with this idea of what facts are; I imagine most people would. But this poses a problem for FDCAYF. After all, there are some true propositions where feelings and perspectives do matter. The statement ‘Billy loves basketball’ proposes something that could either be true or false. Let’s also assume that Billy does, in fact, love basketball. The truth of this claim does depend on feelings - in this case, Billy’s. Going by this idea of what facts are, we have to accept that ‘subjective facts’ do exist, and that therefore there exist some facts that do ‘care about your feelings’. Many philosophers are comfortable with accepting this, but obviously a hardcore Ben Shapiro fan would want to defend the FDCAYF. Admittedly, this idea of ‘subjective facts’ is quite nitpicky when looking at the facts Ben Shapiro usually refers to when he raises FDCAYF; stats, scientific studies - objective facts. So for the sake of good faith, maybe we can raise a definition of facts that’s more charitable to Ben Shapiro: ‘facts are propositions that are objectively true.’ What we mean by objective here is mind-independent, with the truth of the statement not depending on any feelings. This way, the only ‘facts’ that we have to deal with are the ones that Ben Shapiro actually approaches. It also means that he by definition cannot be wrong about facts not caring about your feelings, which is basically shooting this entire analysis in the foot, but bear with me. In the next few sections, we’ll discuss how even this charitable idea of what Ben Shapiro means by ‘facts’ doesn’t really give us the full picture of how facts work. 

(PS: it’s worth noting that someone who sees the world as something leaning towards Idealism would reject this new definition as incoherent altogether, since under Idealism there would technically be no such thing as a mind-independent, wholly objective fact. But that’s besides the point, so we’ll save Idealism for another future post.)

Fact Versus Ideology

So. Let’s pretend everything we said earlier didn’t matter. We assume that facts by definition don’t care about your feelings, and so accommodate what Ben Shapiro uses as ‘facts’. Here’s the irony, though: it’s precisely by accommodating what Ben Shapiro says in context that we see this idea of facts fall apart too. Let me explain why.

The running trend with Ben Shapiro is that he’d claim some fact, then he’d promote it as an objective reason to support some conservative stance. For the sake of example, we’re gonna talk about the topic he arguably most famously does this with: transgender rights. More specifically, when he talks about trans people, he would point to the fact that they’re ‘biologically male/female’ to justify not referring to them by their preferred pronouns. (case in point here and here). He would use some biological fact, like how a male-to-female trans person would still possess XY chromosomes, to say that the conservative stance towards trans people is factual, and therefore conclude that those who disagree are simply ‘being offended by facts’ and ‘factually wrong’. 

Going back to our Shapiro-approved definition of facts, we can see that his claim on male-to-female trans people possessing XY chromosomes is indeed a fact. However, Ben is trying to push for something deeper than just stating a fact; he’s also making a call to action. The argument he’s forming here is that ‘trans women are biologically male’, ‘therefore trans women are men’, ‘therefore we ought not to call them women’. This is the part where it becomes real messy, because we realise we aren’t just dealing with facts in and of themselves, but rather their political relevance. And while the facts themselves could be independent of how one feels, the political values that one infers from them - as we will see - are not. 

What makes the fact ‘male-to-female trans people possess XY chromosomes’ more politically relevant than, say, the fact ‘koalas have smooth brains’? It’s the context under which we perceive the political. In other words, It is what we deem as politically problematic or politically relevant that leads us to decide which facts matter. The fact that trans men possess XY chromosomes might be a matter of huge importance to a neoconservative like Ben Shapiro, who thinks that one’s identity is defined biologically, but that fact would be less politically relevant to a more progressive-minded person - at least in determining a trans person’s identity - because they think that identity is primarily defined socially. It simply goes back to one’s ideology, and one’s general worldview of how society operates. Another example would be how the fact that ‘there are 6 times more empty homes than homeless people’ would be a matter of huge relevance to a communist, or a left leaning liberal, but would at the very most be a matter of curious interest to a conservative, simply because their ideology already inherently constructs an ‘if you didn't earn it, you don’t deserve it’ mentality. A fascist would find the fact that ‘African Americans, despite forming 13% of the population, constitute 50% of the prison demographic’ to be extremely politically relevant, while a socialist democrat would not, seeing that as explained ideologically through systemic oppression and injustice in the judicial system. There are countless examples we can choose from, because there are countless ideologies that each enable and are enabled by the facts that they find important. This isn’t to say that all ideologies are the same and that the one we choose to lean towards is a matter of subjective taste; it simply means that we shouldn’t deceive ourselves into thinking there is a fact-based reason to subscribe to one, and that people of other ideologies are not beholden to facts. In actuality, political discourse isn’t about what the facts are, it’s about which facts are important and give motivation to act. Ben Shapiro may be right in claiming that ‘[certain] facts don’t care about your feelings’, but how we use these facts does care about our values and worldview. 

Reason Versus Feeling

Our earlier paragraph discusses how he conflates possessing facts with possessing rational beliefs about what these facts mean, and we have gone through why this is problematic. But in making this assumption Ben actually commits to a more fundamental claim about rationality, and that is the drawing of a dichotomy between rational action and emotion. That is, he’s saying that one cannot be both emotional and rational. To be fair to him, this is not a very uncommon idea; think of the many times we’ve seen people say ‘stop being so emotional and use your head’. But that way of thinking, of ‘Reason versus Feeling’, might not be as clear and obvious as we think. 

Let’s start with understanding what it means to be rational. I think it’s fairly uncontroversial to say that to be rational is to act in accordance with reason; that is, to do what one has more reason to do. The prospect of getting a free chocolate bar could give me a reason to steal from the convenience store, but the stronger motivations of not wanting to be arrested for theft and not wanting to do something morally wrong would give me more reason not to steal, making not stealing the rational decision for me (well, assuming a perfectly normal circumstance). So what exactly is a reason? Such an abstract concept might be hard to define. But looking at the previous three reasons we’ve raised, we can try to come up with some necessary features of a reason. For example, we know that a reason can’t exist in and of itself. There’s no such thing as simply ‘a reason’. It’s always ‘a reason to do x’, or ‘a reason to believe x’. Reasons are always predicated on some other action or thought. This brings us to our second, and more important, feature of reasons: they always exist to justify or motivate a certain action or thought. They inform us about our motivations in acting on/believing something, and it’s through weighing our many reasons for and against this that we decide what is reasonable and rational. This obviously means that reasons are extremely diverse, and is the reason why philosophers like to make different categories of reasons when analysing them: we’ve got object given reasons (reasons derived from certain features of the object in question), state given reasons (reasons derived from the current state we’re in), hedonic reasons (reasons that involve our own personal pleasure and happiness)… but the category of reasons we’re gonna talk about today is much, much simpler than all of that: what about emotional reasons?

When we get ‘emotional’, it usually doesn’t just happen randomly out of the blue. Something happens, or we’re in a certain state of mind that makes us react emotionally. Certain states of affairs gives us reasons to act emotionally, and then we evaluate whether or not said emotional reaction is a justified response. Granted, many times we end up acting emotionally and irrationally. But that doesn’t mean that every emotional reaction is not reasonable or rational. If Steve steals my lunch, it is reasonable for me to be annoyed and tell Steve off. It’s not reasonable for me to murder him in a ravenous fit of wrath, but that’s because I can evaluate that this emotional response in particular is not warranted. In fact, think about every time someone got mad and asked one of his friends ‘was I being unreasonable for acting that way?’, or every time a parent had to ask themselves whether they were too harsh in their reprimanding of their child. If emotional reasons didn’t exist, then these questions would be useless and meaningless, since every emotional reaction would be irrational. Arguably, the whole subreddit r/AmITheAsshole deals with the problems of sorting out emotional reasons and deciding whether or not the emotional reaction these reasons led to was reasonable. The assumption about the distinction between rationality and emotion that Ben Shapiro makes when he says ‘Facts Don’t Care About Your Feelings’, then, while not one that is altogether uncommon, is not really all that sustainable, since our feelings and the way we act from them can be evaluated from a rational lens. 

As a matter of fact, even our favourite neoconservative himself does this evaluation all the time. Every time Ben decides that a condescending retort is in order, every time he reacts with incredulity at another ‘outlandish leftist headline’, he is deeming this specific emotion as an appropriate reaction. But we usually don’t think of these things as acting emotionally. The point I’m trying to get at here is more than just Ben’s inconsistencies with his own dogma; it’s driving more towards how we treat emotion as a whole. We don’t usually think to call contempt and condescension emotional, despite the fact that they technically are. In fact, we’d celebrate them as ‘savage’ or ‘absolutely destroying’ someone (think ‘Ben Shapiro versus SJW cringe compilations’). On the other hand, we’re quick to see those who express outrage and anger and compassion as being emotional (and, to some, therefore irrational). Our discussions and analyses about what exactly constitutes reason and how emotion fits in are all well and good, but the discussion simply wouldn’t be complete unless we also talk about how we as a society approach this issue. And judging by the looks of it, we evaluate what is ‘emotionally irrational’ based not on what actually is emotional, but rather based on what emotions are socially approved. Delivering a ‘sick burn’ is perfectly reasonable and great, but getting ‘triggered’ is uncool and going off-the-hook. Worryingly, what we judge as being an irrational emotional response isn’t just about the scale and extent of the response, but the type of emotional response itself, and it’s not altogether clear why we should believe that some emotions are simply inherently more irrational than others. Natalie Wynn, better known as Contrapoints, puts it better than I think I ever could

Perhaps a more accurate, albeit less catchy, phrase that describes what Ben Shapiro means in FDCAYF is that ‘Rationality Doesn’t Care About Your Feelings’. But the line he draws between the rational and the emotional, as we’ve seen, doesn’t really work all too well. Practically speaking, when we’re dealing with issues as sensitive and important as politics, sometimes being emotional is precisely the reasonable thing to do. 

Conclusion

Writing what’s essentially an entire essay on one single statement, on hindsight, might have been a bit of an overkill. But I do think there’s a lot to be said about FDCAYF and how it’s used. I absolutely agree that we should be looking at hard truths instead of what our ‘feelings’ would want us to believe, and I absolutely agree that people can sometimes get unreasonably emotional. But the truth isn’t as simple as that. Emotions aren’t something to be reviled and altogether avoided in politics, and we can’t separate facts from the ideological context that enables them to be political. And while Ben Shapiro and his followers aren’t particularly known for their attention to nuance, I think it is at least important that this nuance be known.