#guess ill just add it later lmao

[yin-shimo]

anyway, i think [] does thirst traps on like tiktok/insta, but outside of that bro just dresses basic/regular af. maybe he partially/fully covers his face for some sense of anonymity too

[jazzyblusnowflake]

Alright, we've had Nuzi headcanons. We've now had Vuzi headcanons... Let's heart it, you're Violent Biting Biscuits headcanons, N x Uzi x V... Or if you'd rather complete the set, eNVy headcanons. I am curious of both. (Your headcannons are just super cute)

Holy hecc, I'm so sorry for answering these asks so late but i'm gonna be honest- I just never think anyone likes my writings or ever reads them XD

okay then lets see- my ViolentBitingBiscuits headcanons- i will put eNVy for the next ask because someone else asked for it too and they wont all fit here lol.

My NUziV headcanons ovo<3 :

[once again these are only the drone versions, the human versions aren't involved / also i may add some 🔞🔞🔞 ones this time lol >:3 also uhhh apologies in advance but this one is long as all hell so....um]

K we know the drill, they are all together- hopefully in the future- even if any of them dies i'm gonna pretend i do not see 🙄 deadass gonna treat this like the jjba fandom- my faves are ALIVE AND WELL SHUT UP ARAKI-

Okay so there's some things that we have already mentioned in the previous headcanons- ill try to not repeat them unless they are necessary but ill also try to treat this as its own post and lightly repeat them real quick too-

N and V started out fighting over Uzi, and Uzi obviously was mostly into N at first- but after a while i guess Vs advances got to her- especially since she was- in a way- so desperate for attention/affection, so it felt a little overwhelming to her but in a good way. they very obviously flirted with her which got them silently treating it as a challenge- and Uzi being Uzi obviously loved the attention she got out of it- opting to let this just... kinda continue lmao. she didn't expect to let it go far enough for her to end up with both of them but here we are XD

We slightly touched this topic before about V but to reiterate- all of them have different levels of trauma that they all deal with and currently V has gone through the worst of it, both having to endure Cyn's torture in her mindspace and also having to watch N get slaughtered in front of her and possibly even having a hand in it. She fears losing people that mean to her so she became avoidant with a difficult personality to guard whatever's left of her. It took a really long time for her to decide to be with the two and to protect them and not run away from her feelings for anyone or anything. but some days its still difficult for her so sometimes N and Uzi have to literally trap her into a wrestling cuddle pile or something to get her to just... exist, without feeling like the whole universe is weighing her down. N and Uzi want her to know they are there to protect HER from those inner demons too.

sometimes the cuddle piles end up with N and V once again trying to get Uzi's attention lmao which ends up with them being a little too horny on main- whoops :) - everything starts with a little nibble here, a small bite there - maybe some pillow fights and climbing over eachother or holding one another down in different positions- aaaand then they wake up a few hours later with Uzi having regrets cuz these two are horny as f-

ANYWAY- N is probably the most patient of the 3, and although he usually never breaks up fights because he trusts the other two to handle their own problems without him needing to mom them, sometimes Uzi and V go a lil too far and he gets very tired of dealing with this kind of behavior. he never blows up at them- but he usually goes away to take a breather- sometimes hanging out with Thad or the other drones- and during this time Uzi and V kinda feel bad- but then they would think of stuff like maybe planning dates or getting food for him, draw stuff on cards and etc- or go around trying to find gifts to make him happy<3 sometimes they might add some extra kisses and unwinding sessions in the end as an extra treat :p N always forgives them obviously, he just needs some guys night out every once in a while or something lmao-

Getting close to Uzi became an excuse for N and V to get closer to eachother too. ironically, it first started with them bantering about who is better at what- but then it turned into unironically flirting and teasing eachother- but after a while they realized their relationship isn't going to ever be the same as what it was back in their old days but its also something completely new, so they become more willing to accept one another and explore their newer dynamic.

they all love being coddled and pampered every now and then. Uzi and V may not outright admit it- but they really do too. so they take turns with who they put in the middle of receiving affection :p

N and V are VERYYYYYY over protective of Uzi. to the point that they wouldn't even let the doctor [for tech repair obviously] check Uzi or touch her in any way when she had a small virus case lol. Khan had to pay the poor doctor extra for that.... deciding to leave his daughter in her room in a cuddle pile of two murderous demons that have glowing cat eyes every time he comes in the room smh.

V and N really like cuddling Uzi and sticking their hands under her clothes. or sometimes just flat out sleeping or cuddling naked. its less of a sexual thing and more so to do with the fact that the two MD's have higher body temperature and a less efficiant body for cooling- since they have a more compact torso and a lot less oil and coolant fluids going through them [since they need to consume it continuously] and having a bunch of working nanobots and nanites shoved into them to turn into weapons/wings/etc- and Uzi- although having the AS- is still very much less in need of cooling due to still having a more efficient body design for a "exoplanetary worker unit", with a still functioning cooling system inside that doesn't necessarily need extra oil to make it work unless under stressful conditions.... even if she probably does have worms and fleshy tentacles inside her now lmao. But either way Uzi's body is still a lot colder than the others so she's usually shared in the middle and at this point Uzi cant even be embarrassed when they slide their hands under her clothes and grab her wherever smh..... although V also does it as a semi possessive thing so there's that pfft. she was especially handsy after that doctor left XDDD.

Yes Uzi has very much in fact ended up at the medical/tech repair unit multiple times because N and V have sometimes ended up being a bit too much for her to handle- and the doctor [a character yall shall meet later] has absolutely had it. She had to literally sit the 3 down, explain to them their body differences via scans and the damages they may cause Uzi and it was basically the robot version of having "the talk" with your child- and Uzi wanted to die there and then.

Uzi sometimes just tells the two to drink blood from her- the first time they wanted to share oil they were scared about accidentally causing Uzi to overheat- but after a few times of trying it, they continued doing it more frequently either by kissing and regurgitating or taking turns to bite Uzi or vice versa. N and V typically don't use one another's oil because they already have high usage as it is, it wouldn't be efficient. admittedly N and V always have concerns when it came to biting Uzi- but somehow they found out Uzi actually enjoys it a little when they do it and well...they get ideas lmao- they just make sure to lick her indents clean with their regenerative saliva to make the AS work as little as possible on Uzi's body.

N really enjoys seeing his partners smooch..... for study purposes ofc lmao- actually he uses his visor to take pictures sometimes- let the man be a little horny in peace smh. and don't worry Uzi and V know all this- they just wanna tease him a little bit :p

Uzi and N usually chit chat while they are in the bed until they fall asleep- but V prefers to just hug Uzi on the side listening to them while they talk until she falls asleep too

they love going around in human based areas with shops and stuff to find books to read together or any other fun human stuff they can find- maybe table top games? lol- V goes for the sports stuff. she kinda wanna try hitting something with a bat...

[okayyyy so tumblr doesn't let me write any more XD i def have more ideas but oh well. also ill save the eNVy for another ask that i have in my inbox so you'll get that soon too :p]

[trevisos]

Starting my little question rounds again, but this time I'm asking about people's Rooks! I thought I'd just start with the basics this time, so:

Who is your Rook? What class did you pick for them and why? How did they end up with the background you choose? Please do add a picture!

Bonus question: Got any little "fun facts" about them? :3c

ahhh sunny hi hi hi hi i’ve missed your oc questions :D i hope you’re ready to get blasted with rook knowledge. i also hope you’re ready for me to continue to answer all of these like a week late LMAO

mx. madrigal “magpie” de riva is an elf mage and an antivan crow! she’s some sort of strange little transmasc girlthing and her pronouns are she/they. her class is kind of self explanatory in that well. she was born that way. but as a player i made her a mage bc i think if i did my first playthrough of a dragon age game as anything but a mage i would shrivel up into a husk and die.

magpie was born in tevinter (she guesses probably minrathous but rly has no idea) as a slave and bought by the crows to train up when she was six or seven. she came into her magic kind of late, which tbh is probably the only thing that got her out of tevinter. she was a scrawny kid and before she had her magic she was like. not really. good at anything? she was able to pull her weight a little more once she came into her magic, but she was still very much an underdog. luckily for her one viago de riva had recently become a full-fledged crow and took pity on her. he saved her life when she was like 12-13 and in return (years later) she backed his frankly very unpopular bid to become talon. to this day she’s the only crow in house de riva he actually believes is 100% loyal to him (and she Is. she loves that freak of a man.) if i keep talking about the magpie and viago relationship i’ll get insanely ill but those two are codependent in a way that needs to be studied under a microscope and neither of them will everrrrrrrrr say it out loud.

for fun facts hmm…. when she first showed up to training someone started calling her madrigal as a joke - queen madrigal was famously assassinated by the crows at the end of the exalted age, so it was kind of a jab abt how they didn’t think she would make it. (i named her without remembering at ALL that there was an antivan queen madrigal anywhere in the lore and it was such a perfect connection I couldn’t resist.) she got the nickname magpie when she was a little older and another fledgling found her little collection of trinkets and mementos and now a good number of crows in house de riva don’t know it isn’t her actual name. oh also i think she DID go by rook in the ~year or so she was traveling with varric and harding but early on into the game she goes back to magpie. three names is too many names. harding probably still calls her rook, though!

[kittycatred]

[ ooc blog update ]

i know ive been inactive on this blog for today (or well, technically yesterday) but luckily, there is a very good reason !!!!

i spent a good few hours organizing this blog a bit (& my own main blog), so theres soooome minor changes, moreso for me than you guys, but ill still mention everything :3 (because i spent hours on this i wanna show it off LMAO)

soo if you wanna read my (VERY LONG) rambling and such i go through all the mini blog changes below !! or you can just see yourself either works :3

first thing, pinned post !!!

i learned how to do gradients on text and it was SUCH A PAIN, but so worth it look guys its so pretty now ??

i tried to shorten the pinned post a bit, or atleast leas overwhelming so theres not much red gifs anymore, and instead of 'boundaries / fyi' theres now in & out of character sections !!

everything is about the same as before if you read it, the only changes are:

under in character, ive added some headcanon-y stuff of how i see avm red, clarified shipping stuff id prefer to not have (not cause anyone said anything i just realized i should probably clarify lmao), & ive also added sections of basically how red can sometimes be petty for funsies, and also that if anything said when interacting makes anyone uncomfortable then dont be afraid to reach out ect ect !!

under out of character, clarification on pronouns, kinda ??, i dunno before i just had xe/they i think, name stuff, how im a fictive running this, i moved the no nsfw stuff under here, & how i try to get to everything !!

NOW TAGS >:)

main tags are the usual tags i had aside from me now adding 'drawn posts'

SILLY TAGS look at these guys i organized a good chunk of posts under these, it originally started with me just adding the government assigned cats (which i still need to reblog some more things to put under this from other blogs i forgot oops)

and then the other three i just thought it would be funny since alot of posts fall under those and all

and then askbox pets IVE MADE THAT A TAG CAUSE I GET SO MANY PET PHOTOS IN MY ASKBOX ?? AND I LOVE THEM ?? guys keep doing that i love animals outside of just roleplaying red and theres still some i need to get to answering in my askbox but theyre all adorable oh my gosh !!!!

and ill probably add more of these later as posting and all goes on !!

interaction tags !!! gosh coding the colors was a pain guys i learned how to do this all today but its so worth it though

but here the tags are hyperlinked to show all interactions or mentions of blogs, and their names are hyperlinked to their separate blogs !! so convenient now !!

ALSO i need to catch up on interactions and asks so some blogs are tagged but have no posts i will get to that eventually ive just been doing this all day !!

but wait....theres more than just the pinned posts !!!! (can you tell im writing this at 3am ?)

TAGS !! im finally organizing tags although only i care about that but still

i finally added a separating tag between ooc and in character tags and i also started tagging askbox askers like anon and stuff if you go through you'll see but yay organization !!!

but guys....theres even MORE

okay so im not gonna lie.....i didnt like the stick figure style i was drawing for the asks and stuff ITS COOL DONT GET ME WRONG and other blogs do it WAY BETTER but i didnt like how i was doing it

so guess what ? i humanoid-ized(?) whatever you call it your definitely favorite stickfigure !!!

see all these ??? just a bald stick figure with me overusing the airbrush tool and blur tool wowww ://

now see THIS ??? no longer bald !!! and now EXPRESSIONS and EYEBROWS wow upgrade !! 💥💥💥

(fyi im just jabbing at myself theres nothing wrong with the old way i drew them if anyone else does that just for clarification !!!)

which okay im rambling already so this is fine, but that last image of red angry over the ruben stuff, i dunno how i did that i suck at perspective but i think its actually decent so wahoo !!

anyways i updated all the previous post (ACTUALLY NEVERMIND I MISSED TWO OF THE OLD ONES ill fix that later) with the new drawings but i still kept the old ones !! just under a 'read more' thingy !! and im gonna try to draw out asks more too cause its fun :D if im able to sometimes its just easier to respond with text but theres some i do like to draw out :3

anyways that's all the blog updates on hereee !! :)

i was going to catch up on asks after posting this but it's nearly 4am, and i have a ortho appointment tomarrow in the EARLY morning (i get my braces off guys finally 💥💥💥) but i promise im not ignoring any asks or interactions ect ect !! ill get to them asap !!!

anyways okay thats all !!! i ramble alot (if it wasnt....yknow....kinda obvious here LMAO) so thank youu if anyone read all this !!! im gonna sleep noww but heres a silly colorgang gif for reading through my ramblesss !!!

[cablestatic1184]

📺 🛠️ TeVe ‘’ S SiDEBL0G -> 🧷🧦

[PT: TeVe’s Sideblog. End PT]

[ID: an image of a zoomed in shot of black jeans with the words: BOYFRIEND TO SOME GIRLFRIEND TO OTHERS, embroidered on it red, capital text. End ID]

———————————————📺🍔————————————————

-> Hiya! This is @the-cookie-jar-system’s side blog for my OC (original character) and F/O (fictional other), TeVe/TV. More information under the cut, please read :3 (I have BPD, DID, Autism, probably ADHD and I struggle with schizoaffective disorder)

(she/her for TV 📺, he/it for me 🍔)

-> With any other F/Os am I completely fine with sharing, but specifically TeVe, I am non-sharing. (You can call her hot and say you want her and stuff, that’s fine, I get it :3 but no Selfshipping with her specifically)

-> I’m using this blog for anything that reminds me of her, anything I draw and write, and that’s basically it :3

-> I am a system, however me (algae) is pretty much always frontstuck and is the only one who actually cares about TeVe so therefore will most likely be the only one posting :]

-> While I am cringe and free in most aspects, I still get a bit embarrassed writing and drawing myself in romantic situations, so therefore I often use the name “Fox” and draw the body with fox ears, a fox tail and fox paws, to kind of separate myself from it when I’m feeling a bit shameful, we are unlearning shame with this one boys!

-> I don’t really do tone tags, I can’t remember them, sorry.

-> I pride myself in getting my martial arts terminology right however I am also new to Brazilian Jujistu (only done it for a year and a couple months) and I practiced Muay Thai for a small amount of time before realising it just wasn’t for me, so correct me if I get a term wrong!

-> I love food and don’t tag it, beware.

———————————————📺🍔————————————————

🕹️🛢️ i ‘’ M G0NNA THR0W UP T0NiGHT !! -> DNi !! 🥊🧨

[PT: I’m gonna throw up tonight! DNI! End PT]

Don’t interact with me if

-> Basic DNI criteria (racism, homophobia, transphobia, anti-religion etc.)

-> Anti-contradictory labels (lesboy, turigirl etc.) (I’m a nonbinary butch man so like, good luck here I guess)

-> Anti-selfship / yumeship

-> Anti-MOGAI

-> bring system drama in here (I am traumagenic, I don’t care about endos, leave me alone (unless you’re like.. fucking weird <- vagueing about an endo I knew who had a system from “losing their streak on duolingo”, then leave me the FUCK alone.))

-> Can’t handle slurs being reclaimed (I use the f slur, t slur and mental illness I have’s slurs, I’ll tag if needed)

-> Anti-self dx.

-> I’ll add later when I need to.

———————————————📺🍔————————————————

🎧🥋 i’’ M HAViNG THE TiME 0F MY LiFE !! -> TAGS !! 🩹🦷

[PT: I’m having the time of my life! Tags! End PT]

-> #i’m gonna meet someone - teve / tag for anything TeVe related

-> #i’m gonna fall in love - foxcable / tag for anything me x TeVe

-> #i’m gonna get thrown out of the club - my art / my art :p

-> #i’m gonna write my name on the side of something - other’s art / other’s art :p

-> #i’m gonna take pride in something - stims / stims that remind me of either TeVe or both of us.

-> #i’m gonna feel alive or something - misc. / other stuff i make that isn’t drawing or writing.

-> #sparks will fly magic will happen - asks / asks :p

-> #i’m gonna hate myself - shame corner / i make something and get embarrassed by it lmao

all lyrics are from Tonight by That Handsome Devil (i love him my main blog’s theme is literally just him lol.)

———————————————📺🍔————————————————

[ID: a tumblr post by @/sapphling on October 9 reading: i’m a boy in a slutty way and a girl in a scary way. End ID]

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

Uhhh share thoughts about Eddie’s family perhaps?? My own health has been awful so I feel you

ohhhh i hope you feel better soon 🙏🙏🙏 "ah, where's my mother when i need her" <- idk i felt appreciation in this line. like wow this man remembered his mother while he was drunk af. she meant something dear to him anyway i have only rough sketch rn, i'll detail that later:

"Eddie's dad's a hardcore abuser, Eddie hates him. (alcoholism, physical and mental abuse) Tried to save his mother from him. As a teenager (15-16 years old) physically confronted his father and threatened to kill him (the latter after he became a made man). Dad may have even ended up fucking off and moving away. As an adult, infantile behavior because he played the adult role as a child. His mom is kinda chill and "I guess I'm just a bad mom," but Eddie appreciates her with all his heart. It's awful to feel disappointed in front of her. Organizes a better life for her when he becomes a made man. Difficulty with Italian, association with his father, but with his mother too. He learned English on the street? Mom died of an illness, I think. A terrible feeling of helplessness, unable to save her despite money and influence. The first notes of disappointment. Or: there wasn't enough money and influence then. ?asks El Greco for help? Mom turned a blind eye to her son's mafia life (it was habitual), not like Vito's mom. < this kinda remindes me of the "you look like a gangster" scene from Goodfellas" and funny thing: i still can't figure out for myself if he's from Canada or Chicago. i like the Canada idea better because it adds to him emigrant vibe, which i really appreciate. but on the other hand i have zero knowledge about Canada in that time period lmao 😭

and thank u for the ask!!!

[akaakeis]

oh nooooo i tripped and fell for u into ur ask box

eating ny ice cream rn ;; strawberry is such a weird flavour like if i had to choose and get one i would not get strawberry but if irs rhere at home im finishinf ALL of it

ALSO, DRAWING ON PEOPLE'S HANDS 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

anyways about the iwa smau!!! genuinely have no motivation rn #tweaks BUT i would like to say that the yn is shamelessly based off me like i have consumed acrylic paint on multiple occasions (today) (with ice cream)

ILYT!!!!! IM WRITING THIS RN SO I CANT RESPOND (CRIES)

lost a mark in my chem test today im tweaking

BUT THE FREAKY ENGLISH TEACHER SAID IM ON THE RIGHT TRACK AND DOING GOOD AND AN ATTENTIVE STUDENT AND LIKR????????? ERMMMM SHES INSANE BUT FHE ACADEMIC VALIDATION GOES SOOO HARD

also like lowkey icl i was hanging around ur blog again rn and thats why i decided to send an ask !! ur blog is so pretty rrrrr

I ALSO BASICALLY JUST PEAKED IN HS CUZ THE LIBRARIAN RECOGNISED ME AND GAVE ME A BOOK RECOMMENDATION AND LET ME TAKE IT EVEN THOUGH IT DIDN'T HAVE THE PROPER STUFF TO BE FILED AS BORROWED (like each book has a code and this one didnt and she STILL gave it to me) SO LIKE BASICALLY SHE TRUSTS ME BC IVE BEEN OVER HERE FOR LIKE A YESR AT LEADT TAKING A BOOK THEN COMING BACK 1-2 DAYS LATER CUZ I FINISHED IT LOLOLS

also about OUR iwa fic i was js thinking like,, fake dating this dumbass b word ushiwaka and hes like ?? why me ??? "ur names rhyme kind of" ?? wth ??

lowkey think im immune to anything thats in acrylic paint now bc i have Eaten So Much Of It

anyways the book is lowkey good i havent finished it YET but irs called the girl on the train and like woahhhhhh smth like that at our super conservative school is iNsane

i hope u feel better soon!!! if u dont ill fly over and idk. magic

i have a maths test tmr rjejsjskssk the topic is fun but I Don't Know what if i Fail

OSHIT I WAS SUPPOSED TO LOCK IN AND DO HW OOPS ERM HRU TELL ME AB UR DAY ETC ETC and also any sav x yaku tidbits youd like to drop <- forgot the ship name AND AND AND THE ANONS THINF IS SO REAK KMFG

ok byebye ily xx

ah thats a shame 😞😞 hope your knee or whatever u banged on the way in heals up well lina 😞

yum yum yum ice cream!! i hope ur enjoying it!! also thats so real i feel like strawberry ice cream is just an odd flavor... but true that i always eat the strawberry ice cream in the freezer just to spite my other roommate (with love!!!) LMAO

also real 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ i adore when people draw on me or let me draw on them it js makes me so happy <3

DONT FEEL PRESSURED TO WORK ON IT!! BE SPORADIC!! DO IT WHENEVER YOU GET IDEAS!!! WE WILL STICK AROUND TO READ WHENEVER U DECIDE TO WRITE

NOOO NOT THE CHEM TEST IM SORRY LINA :((( ITLL ALL WORK OUT THO

NOT THE ENGLISH TEACHER. IM SORRY SHES MY OPP FROM WHAT IVE HEARD ABOUT HER SHES FREAKY I FEAR. BUT FOR THE ACADEMIC VALIDATION I SUPPOSE I GET IT...

HELP i didnt ever realize how much time you spent on my blog like genuinely 😭 BUT THANK YOU SM!! im super proud of this theme even tho its not the most intricate <3

WOOOW THE LIBRARIAN RECOGNIZED YOU AND TRUSTED YOU W AN UNFILED BOOK??? i aspire to be you but i never step foot into my school library i much prefer my public library... there's sm more books that i read there!!! BUT THATS GENUINELY SO COOL WTF

bro that fic will genuinely be so funny 😭 like the quote we were yapping ab earlier "ushijima?? the hell?? you don't even go to the same school as him?? 😨" iwa would be more confused than anything at first AND I THINK THATS HILARIOUS!! and pls ushijima just AGREEING hes a closeted himbo i swear i swear i swear

alina im genuinely concerned over the fact that you CONSUME acrylic paint? but whatever? i guess? please dont eat too much that's definitely not meant to be consumed 🧍‍♀️

im gonna add that book to my tbr list!! i read the synopsis and it sounds pretty good tbh

THANK YOU!! my roomie is taking care of me so i'll probably be fine within the next few days 🙂‍↕️

AND GOOD LUCK!! im sure you'll do amazing dont even play w me rn alina YOU WILL DO SO SO SO WELL YOU LITTLE MATH NERD (affectionate)

OH YEAH GO DO HOMEWORK WTF 😭 IM GOOD! I FEEL BETTER TODAY <3 IVE BEEN IN BED SINCE I WOKE UP SO THERE ISNT MUCH TO TELL YOU ABOUT BUT UHHHH LAST NIGHT I WATCHED HOWLS MOVING CASTLE WITH MY ROOMMATE!! SAV X YAKU IS SAVORI!!! COURTESY OF BAKERY ANON MY LOVE 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ UMM I DONT HAVE TIDBITS RN BUT ILL DM YOU WITH RANDOM ONES SOMETIME DURING THE DAY TRUST!!

bye bye!! ily ily <3

[theblanknight]

ok, how bout if i go a coupla days without seein Lily Collins, and i mean the real one 'cause i got a VERY close look tonight and i know now its 1000% her following me 'round out there, i'll report it, capiche!? seems relevant

she's not dead yet, there ya go lol. im sure there're eyewitness reports

and yeah, i saw the two doppelgangers inside koreatown too lol, whattaboutit? i saw Lily right after! this happened like a year ago w/ my ex-wife, you creeps. they just showed up dressed like her and sent me hand signs for months, then i'd see her later in the day. it was, no offense, stupid as all shit lmao! i'm gonna take this 3000% less seriously, capiche? bored

oh! i was asked just now to give anexamplo how she kinda looked.

lol im kiddin, i dont have a pic that looked like how she looked exactly but i can say she had on the eye makeup

yes, i see, her face is "pretty weird!" that's how my face acts? i have a theory that the reason some believe "vampires" can "glamour" others is because of their faces ala they're human, but something is a lil off and the proprtions're slightly bigger, and that VERY SLIGHT offness causes all kindsa confusion

ok, and like two weeks back someone told me "Lily is the vampire that can glamour you lmao!" yo, i know who yinz're connected to, i'm sure you studied faces, how i react to different ones etc, i dunno but i mean you're right, theres something 'bout that face that throws me off lol! i can see why they say our faces cause memory loss! i bet there're others like that i haven't met yet. no offense, Lily, if you ever get a chance to ACTUALLY read through this lmao! i've seen the face, but i havent really hung out and seen it move enough to say those three. lol. words...

might add to this mamaya

2:03 AM

so, believe it or not, some allies have been doing a thing to let me "perceive" Lily's face the same way "the humans!" do and yes, i truly see it, bros...

that face is huge... that's a big face. they did that to me with my face too, i wish they'd stop lol, i usually just see my and her face as regular-sized. our faces're gigantic bros, jeez...

i dont get it, but yes, esp that picture in the libertarian left quadrant of the political compass? i want that face, right over there, to bite me. i want her to just begin eating my body live or something lol, look at those teeth. yeah, no idea, fellas, no idea. so, who matched me up with Lily, eh? lmao. was there science behind that? i dunno, interesting stuff. even if she leaves town i dunno, ill prob study this face. yall found SOMEthing

2:16 AM

lol hey dont get no ideas, this is still a maried woman! look, id like to write at least ONCE plainly for the diggers to find that ive been kinda treatin this like a mix o a "sting" and giving these people shit, and make myself laugh! lol, this whole thing is ridiculous to me, i don't see how these folk can "fix" this other than to try something else and plan long-term. yinz should remember i have genuine romantic sexual partners who aren't... kinda anonymous stalkers? etc, but i dunno, i mean it when i say this is interesting. they used SOMEthing to match me up with her, and she's stalked me irl more consistently than at least the other rando celebs, etc

lmao here, lemme show yinz how i've been tryna get rid a these folk in general, and i guess how my family has been doing it in the past!

[sunakore]

Bit of info for my main OCs :)

helloo. i might post a drabble later idk. but here is some info on my ocs! im working on worldbuilding, but its obviously not even close to being fleshed out yet. siiiiighs

(expect there to be either changes or updates on my characters. ill probably make a separate post on what they look like but there'll be no art) (i wish i had the motivation to art 💔)

Main OCs:

Nalani [he/they], 21

Icarus [he/him], 19

Santez [he/him], 19

Marelle [she/zir], 22

Aeloa [she/her], 19

Rene [they/he], 20

They're self-appointed demon hunters! Well...I don't know what they really hunt yet. just work with me here lmao. demons in this world are just any big bad creatures, and I'll probably find a name for them. They also do hunt titans, which also will eventually have a name...but titans are much more ancient and intelligent. and big. theyre big boys.

because i haven't touched on their abilities (which is very not obvious from my writing) in ANY of my drabbles...since ive been focused on character interactions and all, here they are. shoving them in your amazing face.

-Nalani can absorb and store cold temperatures in his blood, and then channel it back out in the form of ice. So, they can basically manipulate ice, even fucking bend it (awesome!!) in whatever shape he wants. He could remake the sphinx of giza on a good day. Because of his ability he can also withstand freezing temperatures like a boss. He can't store too much cold in his body, though, cause it can only tolerate so much.

-Icarus...has no ability. Deadass. No sudden awakening or aha! i secretly have an ability and you never knew it! No. None of that. i mean hes cool i guess...

-Santez has like...some kinetic absorption thing. he can absorb impact directed towards him and bounce it back. The more he uses it without break, the more weakened his ability will become. So rest = good, which is something he never does so yay.

-Marelle can warp the perception of someone, but she has to actually be aware of the knowledge ze's trying to warp, and has to emotionally resonate with how the person feels about said knowledge. She doesn't have high emotional intelligence, so. Yeah. If she overuses zir ability then she'll become emotionally drained.

-Aeloa can connect with creatures and influence them. She also can with demons, but that depends on their mental strength. Her ability usually only works on weak demons. Animals are naturally drawn to her because she's a disney princess in her own right. She can understand what animals she's connected with are feeling and saying.

-Rene is a shapeshifter, but not quite!!! They can only add on and modify characteristics and not change into a whole new form. He can't remove them, so if they give themself a bird leg then aaah you're stuck like that for a few hours buddy :D. Giving themself too many characteristics at once will temporarily destabilize his ability. So call it a mini shapeshifting ability. and no, they aren't a furry

im not gonna go over relationships since ill establish that in my writing. but heyyy heres some random info about the characters:

they all live together in a house they rented. they split the rent and everyone has to pitch in. usually they collect horns, fangs, or skins from 'demons' and sell it since they can be turned into valuable resources (usually for magic purposes, ill think about that later lol).

-their home is in a forest a few miles from a suburban hill. its also on a high hill above the city, so if you reach the edge of the forest then you can get a view of the city lights. my fantasy bro

-nalani's basically the parent of the house. he's the only one who knows how to cook and drive. he doesnt trust anybody behind the wheel. they tried to get the others to cook a meal and they cooked a fire. he makes them do chores tho

-everyone has their own rooms. marelle likes to sleep in the bathtub, for some reason. santez was banished to the basement cause he kept blasting music at 2 in the morning.

-rene drinks a lot. the legal age to drink is 18 at wherever the fuck they live, so dont worry about that.

-santez listens to lady gaga. and he also has a serious addiction to staying up until 72 hours.

-icarus is very skilled, which is how he keeps up with the others and their abilities. he's kind of the tech guy? he's really good with mechanics. he spends a lot of time working on tools for fighting and defense. and developing stupid pointless softwares. he also studies 'titans' and their old ass civilization from any artifacts he can find.

-aeloa likes drawing, but doesnt like showing people her artworks. she's very passionate when it comes to art, since it's something she loved as a kid. she draws yuri /j

-everyone likes chocolate. if someone has a chocolate cake that shit gonna get stolen like it's in a tom and jerry episode. everyone keeps their secret stashes. they also try to find each other's secret stashes. all the time.

-marelle's a NERDDD. she reads non-fiction and stuff, nerd!! ze might drop the most baffling word in the dictionary during a casual conversation. she's very intelligent, which makes zir bad at explaining things in a way that's simple for others. when icarus explains things he's just extremely vague and absurd in his wording and doesnt offer any context at all.

Bdays :3

format is month/day

Nalani: 4/15

Icarus: 9/2

Santez: 1/18

Marelle: 12/23

Aeloa: 3/27

Rene: 2/7

okay thats all for now lol im working on a magic system and i either will post it...or start mentioning magic in my drabbles without making it an info dump somehow

[torchiiko]

ok zoochosis review/critique From someone who hasnt even played the game lmao

for those who dont know, zoochosis is a horror game abt dealing with mutated animals while "interviewing" for the night shift at a sketchy zookeeper job. heads up this ended up being WAY longer than i thought itd be & it might not make any sense without having seen at least one playthru. oops!

i think it has a great premise! its got an interesting concept but it isnt done as well as it couldve been. theres a lot of questions that either get left unanswered or the youtubers ive seen play so far just didnt find the answers, which sucks. the story doesnt feel finished, & i will give the developers some slack given that the screenwriter for the game passed, but that doesnt excuse releasing the game in the state ive seen in the gameplay videos

to start, the tutorial doesnt explain everything it should. youre only guided thru Some of the main tasks & sure, ppl can figure the rest out on their own, but when the entire gameplay loop revolves around diagnosing animals you need to make sure the players know how to use all the tools to get the correct diagnoses. maybe its in character for doc, the tutorial npc/antagonist to leave you half-informed, but it can just be frustrating for the player. it isnt Too big of a deal but i have seen ppl make a few easily avoidable mistakes bc they werent properly filled in at the start

next, the bugs are Nasty, to the point of preventing you from progressing or getting the ending youre attempting to get. you have to collect parasites for a shot at getting a good ending (killing "the mother", who ill get to later) but some of the parasites will either vanish when theyre needed after collecting them or inexplicably be dead when you need them alive. ive seen animals mutate while the player was still in the exhibit & be killed, only for the mutated animal cutscene to trigger as the player was leaving. the mutant was already killed, so theyre stuck with danger music blaring & the species name & empty health bar at the top of the screen. i have yet to see manlys playthru, but i hear he suffered at the hands of bugs as well

pausing to say smth positive before i move on to my main issue, the visuals are fantastic! the animals, being the main feature of the game, are very well done & i rlly enjoy how they incorporated certain behaviors, such as the giraffes spreading their legs out to get low enough to eat out of the trough & a few of the animals randomly sparring (giraffes fighting with their necks, moose butting antlers). its a real nice touch & adds a bit more life to the animals. the mutant designs are a little hit or miss, theyre definitely scary & unsettling but some are better than others. it doesnt help that the lights in the enclosures often go out when they mutate, making it harder to even see the monster design as they scurry around

the animals you can visit rotate in & out every time you finish a run, which i guess is supposed to keep things fresh so players replay multiple times but it just gets annoying. 1 new animal every couple hours doesnt make up for the fact those animals will eventually stop being new Or that you get locked out of a different animal. why cant they just all be available & the player can choose which ones they visit each run? probably to force them to see all the mutant designs... which. all the mutant encounters play out almost the exact same way. only the elephant has an interesting mechanic, its got armor plating that you have to get rid of before you can dart it either to cure or kill it. you have to bait it into charging at a wall to knock off its plating, thats cool! it adds strategy to the fight instead of just shooting 3 times. none of the other mutants have smth like this, they just run/climb/fly around

but my main critique is the Story. it feels rushed & poorly paced. a lot of commenters on jacksepticeyes video said it wouldve worked better as a slower burn & i agree. a single night isnt enough time to let anything simmer or have any big realizations or payoff, & it makes replaying the game over & over to see more endings or get more lore incredibly tedious bc of how repetitive the tasks are

the characters motivations are either entirely unknown or not strong enough. the player, paul, takes the job in the first place bc his family is allegedly impoverished, to the degree you have the option to smuggle meat-based animal food to his wife so she & their daughter can have "real food." the reveal happens not too long after; its human meat. which, even if it Wasnt, why would he ever think to give his family animal food?? itd be nice to break things up by days with sections at home so the audience can see what his home life is like & get a better idea of why he would be so desperate

additionally, he shouldve been offered an even higher salary as hush money to give him more incentive to go along with the downright illegal things going on! paul is shockingly nonchalant abt everything going on & goes along with it with little resistance. he just tosses a LIVING WOMAN into a meat grinder bc he was told to!!!! i will say the player can choose not to do this, but itd be nice if paul at least hesitates a little so the player actually knows they have a choice & arent being forced into it to progress

doc, on the other hand, has No known motivations for any of the aforementioned illegal goings on & makes No attempt to hide it!! he doesnt even try to cover up what his whole little scheme is, doesnt try to soothe paul by claiming the woman "deserves" to die bc shes a criminal or smth, or that the bodies are sourced from somewhere "more ethical" or even try to make up some nonsense abt human meat having health benefits to the animals, he just comes out & says "yeah the animals mutate & they can only be satisfied by human flesh. dont tell anyone bc u signed an nda & itll be a violation + ill kill you" ???

he explains "the mother" sends out parasites to infect & mutate the animals but we never get to know Why. why is he going thru all the hassle of appeasing this monster? the zoo has been closed for at least a year, how are there still funds to keep everything running? he supposedly has big connections to the point cops are covering for him, but WHY? why is he so important that the cops cover for him, what do they get out of letting it all slide?? does he actually still care abt maintaining the animals or is the whole zoo now just a front to funnel in more sacrifices?? was it always that way?? where did the mother come from?? what, exactly, is she?? nothing is ever explained abt this!

By the way, theres some extra, completely missable dialogue if you grind the woman right away after being told to. you get another call where paul Attempts to protest, but doc is like "lol lmao btw you have the same parasite the animals do. maybe if you survive the night ill cure you or smth. at least the mutants see you as own of their own. also ur poor & u need the money so do this" & like. the game Starts with paul saying he might get the job if he survives, then he gets locked into the zoo & his phone taken away & it somehow doesnt raise any red flags for him while his wife is like "this isnt normal!!!!"

also, completely irrelevant, but when doc leaves he offers to tell pauls wife hes staying the night bc shes waiting outside bc yknoe. it was supposed to just be an interview. but paul says "nahh dont tell her shell figure it out" so like. wtf paul. its Raining & ur letting her stand out there waiting for you??? some husband you are :/

anyway. if the game took place over a matter of days, we could have time to adjust, rlly let things sink in & maybe get some more answers drip fed to us over time. maybe youve been smuggling meat to your wife for a few days, having it for family meals until you get your first paycheck, but now the zoos supply is out & you need to refill it; cue the human meat reveal. it would also be nice if you could monitor an animals symptoms over days & potentially prevent them from ever mutating! the games subtitle is "rescue the animals" after all. youre supposed to be able to pacify mutants by feeding them the meat along with their regular food, but if you leave to go prepare the food mix, you risk the normal animals in the enclosure getting attacked & dying!

the game leaves clues like "monitor how often an animal sleeps, it could be a symptom of illness" or "look out for wounds on the animals" but when everything can be diagnosed with the main tools, & noticing these things doesnt do anything to prevent mutation, it just ends up being useless flavor text. also, every enclosure has at least one sick animal & a mutant Every Time, theres no variety. maybe its not "scary" to not have a monster attack you every 10 minutes, but itd definitely add some suspense. maybe you cure an animal only for them to remain sick, showing that smth deeper is ailing them

a night by night system would also be more interesting storywise! instead of finding out all thr dark secrets right away, things just seem more & more strange as you go on. maybe youre advised not to look into it if you wanna keep your job so you fall into blissful ignorance so you can provide for your family. maybe you do snoop around & get offered life changing amounts of hush money for your silence, since theyd "hate to lose a good worker :((". maybe there are more employees, some innocently unaware of the truth, some burdened with the knowledge of what rlly goes on but too desperate or afraid to speak out

the woman mentioned a few paragraphs ago, the one who gets meat grinded, shes actually crucial to getting a good ending. shes sarah, an investigative journalist, & you have to rescue her so she can help you get the recipe for a poison to kill The Mother & all her parasites (which will save your life). the motivation for her murder is obvious, she was gonna leak the whole operation, but wouldnt it be much cooler if she was undercover as an employee throughout the course of the game? shes working alongside you, trying to get more info, trying to convince you "hey, isnt this weird?" only for her to vanish one night, fired for "accessing unauthorized locations." if you already have suspicions you might be inclined to dig deeper & be able to rescue her, or maybe you take her firing at face value, thats what she gets for snooping, right?

one last little thing id like to mention here, in the best ending of the game you save the woman & expose the zoo, kill the mother & doc in one fell swoop as her poison needs delivered in live food, & save your wife. thats right, your wife gets dragged into this! yknow why? bc if you dont answer her calls, she reports her worries to the police & they kill her! & you are misled into doing this!!! when you save sarah, she tells you not to call your wife back & to save your phones last bit of battery for the police when you get some more evidence, makes sense right? except if you dont, she gets killed by said police! you Have to call her back & soothe her so she doesnt report you missing at the zoo & get killed. theres No way of knowing this before it happens, forcing you to replay the game to get the best ending even if you already got the good one (but your wife died)

it couldve been so, so cool but the story especially just falls flat. it seems like they either rushed it or just cared more abt having an excuse to show off their scary monster designs & threw the story to the side. ive seen ppl complain that the game was too short for the price, but ironically you have to play it over & over for hours to get more story ...unless you happen to get the default bad/death ending & assume thats all there is. or get too frustrated by bugs & glitches that you drop it entirely. its not Awful but its definitely unpolished & it shows

[samuelroukin]

blanket plot twist: ghost was the one who made the rule "no soap hole while johnny's in the field" because soap forgor (he's use to the real thang now so he didn't remember making it)

lmao sorry for causing distress. I would appreciate more pits but you're the author so whatever you give us is wonderful

the 600 isn't including my original "read later" folder, second "read later" folder, the "in progress but read later" folder, the fics currently in my downloads, or on ao3 my "read later" bookmarks or the fics I have marked for later. the folders add an extra 450 fics, I haven't actually gone through and changed my bookmark comments to tags, and idk how many I have marked for later. also I consider anything under 20k to be short so. btw yes I am mentally ill

lskjslkjdkjhst lore! that would make sense yeah, the soap would be Beckoning him and soap wouldn't even know how much self restraint was required to lock it tf away

i would appreciate more pits too 😔 lots of room in this fic left, who knows what the future holds (probably not pits tho. busy enough writing weird vampire sex lol)

jesus christ. well at least you won't get bored but i'd be Stressed Out. i have like 10 in my marked for later and i'm already like 'damn i need to get this under control' 💀 which i guess is just different mental illness lmao

[mrs-starkgaryen]

Well, well, well, dissecting time just so I can remind Maggie that I am in her walls (thanks you've passed your illness onto me)

1. "Afterwards, Mason pulls his clothes back on as you are absentmindedly drawing stars in the steam on the windows of his Chevy Silverado."

A) Even at home, she's dreaming/ thinking about the stars (Hollywood stars)

2. "It was good, not that you finished; you didn’t say anything, he didn’t ask, but even if he had you would have told him not to worry about it. It can take forever, especially with an audience. You’d rather wait until you’re alone."

A) Don't worry baby girl, Aegon is gonna make you finish in front of him and I'll you'll love it

3. Mason smirks and taunts: “I don’t know, with the way you talk about him you sound kind of obsessed.”

A) we all are Mason, shut up

4. “You ever feel like people are the best versions of themselves before you really know them? Then you get too close and all the cracks start showing.”

A) well I didn't like that foreshadowing

B) she's gonna get close to Aegon and we know he's a messed up man 😭

C) I'll she'll still love him though

5. “And it’s only until the end of the year,” your father adds. “Then the vacation is over.” Then the meager allowance they are funneling to you will stop and you will be ordered to return home to pursue an honorable course of existence. You have six months to succeed in Hollywood, or the dream dies."

A) Or when Aegon dies...

B) Maggie, are you in my walls? This is my family 😭

6. “Well, regardless of whatever you have going on in California, you’ll either have to get them done now or after you have children,” Mom says. “I love you and Clara and Tripp, but you destroyed my body. At least doctors can repair breasts. My bladder is still useless."

A) mother? What you doing here, loca?

B) how Sunshine is so sunny, idk. I guess you have to have rain to appreciate the sun

C) no wonder she think she needs plastic surgery- not just for Hollywood but she probably feels like she needs to live up to her parents expectations somehow (cuz she feels like she is disappointing them with her choice of job?)

7. Outside the sun is setting, and you gaze westward as the aging daylight turns the tall green grass and silhouettes of horses to gold like the mines that first brought settlers to California. You slide your phone out of the pocket of your denim shorts and take a photo, then post it to your Instagram story with the caption Home and a smiley face emoji.

A) Sunshines reminder that social media is fake lmao

B) but this is a mood- it gives crying whilst doing a thumbs up picture 😭👍🤳

Also those dogs? I love dogs but these ones are scary! The family and the dogs seem to hate her?! My God. Are they picking up on the family hostility to her?

If they don't shape up, unlike the bats- I won't mind if Jace steps on one of these.. (jk)

8. A minute later, you receive a DM. Aegon has typed: This explains the big horse girl energy

A) Aegon ever heard of playing it cool?

B) damn he's down bad

9. You have just finished ringing up a Like It-sized Apple Pie A La Cold Stone when Josh says: “Hey, there’s an old guy asking for you."

A) oh an old man, imagine if he meant Aegon-

B) HE DID! Mf ain't old

C) I also squealed like she did when I recognised the shoes 🥰

10. When Aegon begins to pull it away, you grab his hand and don’t let go until you’ve licked the spoon clean. He laughs hysterically as he watches you. “I haven’t had strawberry ice cream in forever,” you say.

A) and if I say 👀

B) foreshadowing...

C) also hello Simon Bassett from Bridgerton?

11. “Don’t tell me you’re a vanilla girl.”

A) for now Aegon...

B) He will show her the different flavours

C) also could symbolise that she is kinda naive and then as the story progresses- she's not so sweet anymore 😀

13. “It’s small,” Aegon warns. “It’s an episode of Grey’s Anatomy.”

A) said every man ever 😉😂

B) ooh will she be in season 56, episode 28?

14. “Because once you begin to treat scalpels and needles as prescriptions for everything you don’t like about yourself—or everything that other people don’t like about you—..... that are carving away your humanity one incision at a time. I’ve seen it happen to more people than I could count, and I don’t want it to happen to you. Because you seem very, very human, and I’d like you to stay that way. Which means you don’t cut yourself up because some agent or producer or casting director told you to.” Then he adds, perhaps as an afterthought: “And anyway, you don’t need implants.”

A) did he have to do something to make people (or him) like himself more?

B) omg did his dad make or encourage his siblings/ family to change to become more famous, to carry on his legacy in Hollywood? Did Aemond try and change himself and now he's took a step back into scriptwriting cuz atleast then he can control his own story?

C) she's gonna lose or nearly lose her humanity in this industry, I can see it. It's gonna break her down and then Aegon and her have feel better sex..

15. “Always so agreeable,” Aegon muses. So desperate is more like it.

A).... need I say more

16. “The Chinese zodiac. You’re a horse. So you’re the only horse I like.”

A) you're killing me

B) she's gonna like riding this horse 😭 (I'll let myself out)

17. His face is some amalgamation of emotions you can’t read, and this is unusual.“Why do you think I paid in cash?”

A) either becca is crazy

B) or his family are and they'll update becca

C) or both. Like I said before- maybe they set him up wirh becca to calm him down, to make him (the targaryens) look good in the papers

18. “I got you a vanilla latte, vanilla girl.”

A) a possible other nickname?

B) all her nicknames are cute and sunny, like her until this industry snuffs it out 😀

19. Then you are in the scenes under intensely radiant artificial light, and just like it did in your roles back in Minnesota, the real world vanishes and all that exists are these characters, these moments, and your body and mind become theirs, and perhaps even your soul too. Your husband is handsome and kind, and here in this liminal fictional space you love him, and when the surgeons wheel him off to the operating room you are full of blind naïve surety. Then the doctors update you on his condition and you are still hopeful, but it becomes a fragile thing, like something that shatters when it’s dropped from a height. And then he is dead, he has been taken away from you, he has been stolen, and you are eclipsed by a blood-red wrath that is animalistic and unforgiving. After each take when you are ripped back through the veil and into reality, you can’t remember exactly what you did or said, and the director doesn’t have many critiques so you aren’t sure how it’s going.

A) This whole thing felt like a summary for the story

B) at first she's whisked away in a world of Hollywood: glitter and glammer. She's "full of blind naive surety"..

C) Then it's she's less so but she still tries to be optimistic? As she realises this is not what she signed up for

D) husband is dead, Aegon is dead? Then she's full of rage

E) under artificial light? The Hollywood spotlight..

F) she starts to give them her body (plastic surgery), her mind (she starts to doubt and panic in fame) and then her soul (Hollywood kills her optimism and dream)

Also- Are the eyeshadows representing things?

A) In the first chapter she had shimmery, pink, warm brown eyeshadow (showing that she is warm, positive and sparkling with a dream, it's all new).

B) when she's with Mason, it's sparkly black. Like she's not 100% with him but that's okay because she still has her dream that she's gonna be able to be an actress and subconsciously be with someone better...

C) in the ice cream shop, she has bright pink- so bright in optimism still and pink meaning flirtatious feelings for Aegon?

Idk, all this is my crazy mind and I love whatever you come out with!

A Curse [Chapter 2: Harbor Gateway]

A/N: Thank you for the warm welcome you have given this series!!! I am sick with bronchitis currently so this has been a big bright spot in an otherwise miserable week 😅 I can't wait to show you where this story is going, I hope you're ready for it 🥰💜

Series summary: You are an aspiring actress. Aegon is a washed-up and disenchanted agent...at least until he sees something special in you. But within paradisical seaside Los Angeles you find terrible dangers and temptations, secrets and lies. Maybe Aegon's right; maybe the City of Angels really is a curse.

Chapter warnings: Language, a tiny bit of sexual content (18+ readers only), age-gap relationship, entertainment industry misogyny, some body dissatisfaction/dysmorphia, ice cream, judgmental parents, aggressive Akitas, we're literally in Minnesota!!!

Word count: 6.1k

💜 All my writing can be found HERE! 💜

Tagging: @lauraneedstochill @mrs-starkgaryen @chattylurker @neithriddle @ecstaticactus, more in comments! 🥰

🏝️ Let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist 🏝️

Afterwards, Mason pulls his clothes back on as you are absentmindedly drawing stars in the steam on the windows of his Chevy Silverado. On the other side of the glass is inky Minnesota night, a full moon dissolving away, glowing freckles of constellations. You’re staying with your parents and Mason has roommates, so the truck was the expedient choice. It was good, not that you finished; you didn’t say anything, he didn’t ask, but even if he had you would have told him not to worry about it. It can take forever, especially with an audience. You’d rather wait until you’re alone.

Mason glances down at the used condom on the floor of his Silverado, hastily discarded, viscerally slick in a way that becomes sickening in the letdown, as the endorphins and the adrenaline slip away and the blood pumps slow and unclouded. He smirks as he asks: “You sure you don’t want to get back on the pill?”

You sigh, drawing another star. You are still naked and sprawled across the back seat, glistening with sweat in the moonlight. “Well I tried three different prescriptions and had three miserable experiences, and I’m really not interested in playing side effect roulette again. And I can’t risk my skin going insane and random bleeding when I’m running around all over L.A. trying to get parts.”

“What about that little sperm assassin T-shaped thing?”

You look at him. “An IUD?”

“Yeah.”

You wince, engraving another star into the steam on the window. “I don’t think I like the idea of having a piece of metal shoved up inside me.”

He laughs. “But you’ll get silicone implants?”

You shrug; you can’t deny the irony. “I don’t need an IUD to be an actress.”

“Look, I’m not complaining about the tits thing,” Mason says, holding up his hands. “Obviously I’d enjoy them too. And you’d still have them when you move home, so it’s not a waste even if the acting thing doesn’t work out.”

You already know he feels this way, and yet still, it hurts. “When I move home?”

He smiles and crawls back on top of you, his Carleton College hoodie whispering against your belly and chest, soft royal blue cotton on damp skin. He had been a Political Science and International Relations major who took Theater Arts 195: Acting Shakespeare for an arts credit. He was beyond terrible and had no appreciation for the field whatsoever, but he was tall and strong and jolly, an earnest corn-fed Midwestern boy, and when one day after class he’d asked if he could take you to Culver’s for a burger and frozen custard, you’d said yes.

Here and now, in the back seat of his Chevy Silverado, Mason kisses your forehead. Then he ghosts his thumb over the ridge of your orbital socket and cheekbone, where your dark glittery eyeshadow has smudged like a spreading bruise: Galaxy by Anastasia Beverly Hills, Elysian by Natasha Denona. “I’m not saying you aren’t good. But how many people on this planet get to be movie stars? It’s just not realistic. And it’s about so much more than talent. It’s about who you know, and luck, and chemistry, and looks, and a bunch of other things that are mostly out of your control. You’re never going to be the type of girl who’s an influencer or winning Miss America, you’re just not. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t very, very pretty. And I loved you anyway.”

Loved, past tense. You and Mason stopped using that word a year ago; now the nostalgia is painting memories like the walls of an old house. His memories, anyway. You sit up and start yanking on your clothes: oversized yellow Santa Monica crewneck, black sweatpants with elastic cuffs at the ankles. “I think I’m going to get the gummy bear implants.”

Mason licks his lips. “Yum.”

“They’re a type of silicone, but they’re supposed to feel more natural and be less dangerous if they rupture.”

“Will you have scars?” he says as if the notion has just occurred to him, troubled, perhaps a little revolted.

“Well yeah, they have to end up under my skin somehow.”

Mason shudders, then he has another thought. “Who’s going to take care of you after surgery when you’re all sore and zonked out on opioids?”

“My roommate Baela said she would. She’s had friends who have gone through it already.”

“Okay, good. I wouldn’t want you to be alone out there.” Mason touches the back of your head, a quick fond gesture. He’s the only man you’ve ever been with, and even that took a while, months of trying to envision him undressing you before you were sure you could do it without flinching, without being afraid or shy or bewildered. But in the end it had been easy, always easy, which is why you keep coming back to him like a comet. Your elliptical orbit takes you far away and then close again, and such natural patterns are effortless to keep.

You say, the edges of your lips curling into a furtive smile: “I’m definitely not alone.”

Mason groans. “You’re going to hook up with that new agent guy, aren’t you?”

“What? No! No way, he has a fiancée.”

He rolls his eyes, but he’s more amused than annoyed. “Okay, whatever.”

“You know I don’t date anyone.” Which is why each time you’re home visiting, Mason gets a text: Want to get lunch at Culver’s? or Can you drive me to Target? or Pick me up around 9 p.m.?

Mason smirks and taunts: “I don’t know, with the way you talk about him you sound kind of obsessed.”

“I’m just grateful. Someone finally gave me a chance.” You look to the window; the steam and your hand-drawn stars have evaporated away. “And yeah, he’s interesting and he’s cute, and he’s kind of mean but then unexpectedly caring sometimes, and I think he’s one of those people who are really good at what they do but only when they’re inspired…but that doesn’t mean I’m into him romantically.” A pause. “And even if I was, there’s no harm in a super-secret, one-sided crush.”

“Okay. Have fun with all the adulterous sex.”

You chuckle. “Thanks, but that is not the plan.” You slip on your flip-flops, shimmy out of the back seat, and trot around the Silverado to the passenger’s door. Mason climbs into the driver’s seat and turns his key in the ignition. You ask: “What happened to that ballerina girl who was in your Instagram stories for a while?”

“Had to ghost her, she got super clingy and controlling. She was texting me at work all the time and got pissed off when I was putting a ton of hours into that election thing for CNN.” Mason is a political analyst. He turns to you. “You ever feel like people are the best versions of themselves before you really know them? Then you get too close and all the cracks start showing.”

“I think people are wonderful. You just have to find the ones you click with.”

“I should have figured you’d say something like that.” He steers his truck out of the otherwise empty parking lot in Lac Lavon Park. “I’m looking forward to you being home again.”

“I’m not.”

You both laugh, and then Mason drives you to your parents’ house.

At the dining room table, Mom and Clara are researching wedding venues, vast countryside estates and metropolitan historic hotels. Clara got engaged two weeks ago during a vacation to Turks and Caicos. In the living room, Dad and Tripp are watching commentary on the NBA Finals. Tripp’s name isn’t really Tripp; he is the third James in a row, named after your father and grandfather, and Tripp is short for triple. All over the house, there are Akitas lolling in plush dog beds and clicking around on Brazilian Cherry hardwood floors. They have faces like teddy bears, but their dark eyes track you mistrustfully, as if you are an intruder.

No one asks where you have been. They barely acknowledge that you are back. “Hello, dear,” your mother calls distractedly from the dining room, and that’s all. You jog upstairs to the bathroom you share with Clara before anyone can notice your smeared makeup and the unsavory post-car-sex sweat gleaming on your skin. You get into the shower, turn on water so hot it is nearly scalding, and close your eyes. With your back pressed to the jade green tiles, your hand wanders down over your belly and stops between your legs. Your mind cycles through fantasies, but nothing seems to be working.

It’s not real. It can’t hurt anybody.

You imagine that Aegon is the one touching you, and in under a minute it’s over.

~~~~~~~~~~

“I want there to be horses,” Clara says, scrolling through her phone and ignoring the food on her plate: roast chicken, homemade mashed potatoes, green beans sauteed in garlic and olive oil, panzanella salad. Mom prepared it all herself, not because there was no help available—your parents have a housekeeper named Angela who comes by several days per week—but to prove she could. In the living room are shelves heavy with books by Martha Stewart, Ina Garten, Cat Cora, Julia Child, Nigella Lawson. You hear echoes of ambient clicking, Akitas meandering down hallways and staircases.

“Horses?!” Tripp replies with a mouthful of mashed potatoes, gesturing to the sliding glass door. “Don’t you get enough horses in your everyday life? Don’t you have like five right out there?” Your parents’ house sits on ten acres of land, including a barn and several paddocks for Clara’s rescued Thoroughbreds.

“I want beautiful horses,” Clara insists. “Unusual, photogenic, so they can be in the background of all the photos. Maybe Friesians or Haflingers?”

“I’m not sure we can sort the venues by types of horses available, dear,” Mom says. All that’s on her own plate is a heap of green beans and a few pieces of skinless white meat chicken.

Clara moans and drops her face into her hands. “It’s so overwhelming!”

“You’ll find a place you like, Clara Bear,” Dad says mildly, painstakingly slicing meat off a drumstick with his fork and knife.

“And Owen is no help at all. Every time I ask for his opinion he just tells me to do whatever I think is best, but I don’t know what’s best, that’s why I’m asking him!”

Your mother pats Clara’s shoulder reassuringly. “Guys don’t care about weddings,” Tripp says, twisting around in his chair to see the television in the living room. On a rerun of E! News, the hosts are discussing Chris Hemsworth’s rigorous fitness regime and Meghan Trainor’s “mommy makeover.” You peek under the tablecloth. One of the Akitas, Yuki, is glaring as she waits for you to drop something for her to eat.

“You could do something like that,” Mom says to you, and you realize you haven’t been listening to the conversation.

“Sorry, do what?”

“You could be a wedding planner or a real estate agent. Those are actual careers, but there’s more creativity involved, isn’t there? And didn’t you take a design class in college? That would certainly come in handy.”

“Hm,” your father says with a frown, still dissecting his chicken. He would rather you go to law school like Tripp. You would rather lie down in traffic.

“I took a set design class, Mom. Because I was studying how to be an actress. And that’s what I’m doing right now in Los Angeles, trying to be an actress.”

“You could become an architect!” Mom bursts out with sudden enthusiasm. “Wouldn’t that be fun?”

You titter evasively. “I can’t draw, Mom. Or use the modeling software, or do math.”

“You know, you don’t need any specific degree to get into law school,” Tripp says, and your father gives him a nod of approval. “You could have majored in dance or bagpiping or Egyptology, it doesn’t matter. All they want is a high undergrad GPA and a 168+ LSAT score, and I bet you could get that if you studied. You can even retake the test a few times if you need to.”

“Why do you do that?” Clara snaps at him. You eat your panzanella salad and pretend not to be listening. Beneath the tablecloth, Yuki growls. You toss her a few cubes of Italian bread so she won’t bite you.

Tripp shovels mashed potatoes into his mouth. “Do what?”

“Why are you always wasting your time trying to convince her to grow up and get a real job? If she wants to embarrass herself, let her. I have problems that I’m trying to solve, so how about applying yourself to those instead?”

“Are you serious? You think I should be calling around to wedding venues asking about their selection of exotic draft horses?”

Clara aggressively stabs at her green beans with her fork. “Fuck off, Tripp.”

“Hey, hey, kids, no swearing,” your mother says. “It’s Father’s Day. Be respectful.”

Dad turns to you. “You could be an entertainment lawyer, how about that? You could work in intellectual property or negotiating contracts.”

You smile warily. “I’ll think about it, Dad.”

Clara says to your parents: “Well I hope all the money you’re throwing out the window to support her in California isn’t coming out of my wedding fund.”

You close your eyes and think: I can’t spend my life in a cubical. I can’t spend every minute of every day trying to forget who I am.

“Shh, shh,” your mother pleads, rubbing the back of Clara’s clenched hand. “You will get exactly what we promised you, that amount is still set aside for your wedding. Nothing she does affects you.”

“And it’s only until the end of the year,” your father adds. “Then the vacation is over.” Then the meager allowance they are funneling to you will stop and you will be ordered to return home to pursue an honorable course of existence. You have six months to succeed in Hollywood, or the dream dies.

Your father is now asking Tripp about his summer associate position at Latham & Watkins in Chicago. Your mother is advising Clara to get a wedding dress with a corset back so it can be adjusted in the event she gains or loses weight at the last minute. Underneath the table, Yuki is growling again; she noses your knees threateningly.

“I got an agent,” you say, and everyone looks at you.

“Really?” Mom asks, sounding a little perplexed.

“Who is it?” Dad says.

“Aegon Targaryen. He has a small office in Elysian Park.”

“Oh, I think I recognize the last name.”

“His family is in the industry.” You are beaming; you can feel the heat rising in your face. “But Aegon kind of does his own thing and tries to stay out of the limelight. He was an actor when he was my age. And I guess he thinks I can get roles, so that’s really exciting.”

Your mother seems concerned as she nibbles at a shred of white meat. “Is he an older man?”

“Not that much older. He’s thirty-five.”

“Well, be careful, darling,” your father says gravely. “Who knows what his intentions are.”

Clara evidently agrees. “Men can be so creepy. I had this one professor in pharmacy school who cheated on his wife with one student, then cheated on her six months later with a different student. And then he retired to Boca Raton and was never heard from again.”

“Oh, that reminds me!” Tripp says to your father. “We read about Clinton v. Jones in torts class, it was wild, I didn’t know he was such a freak even before the Monica Lewinsky thing…”

After dinner, while your father and Tripp are flipping through television channels in the living room and Clara is upstairs on the phone with Owen, you go to the kitchen where your mother is washing dishes in a bubble-filled sink. Again, she doesn’t have to do this; Angela will be here to clean the house tomorrow. But it’s part of being a perfect homemaker, and if she’s not good at this then she’s not good at anything.

She glances over when she hears you come in. “Did you get an appointment with one of the doctors your father recommended?”

“I did, yeah. I have a consultation on Friday.” You lean against the marble countertop and cross your arms so you don’t fidget nervously. From a dog bed on the floor, Mochi glowers at you. “Do you think I should get the surgery?”

She shrugs; you’re not certain if she is more indecisive or apathetic. “Your cousin Madison had a nose job the summer before college. Your old classmate Emma got a blepharoplasty and then met her husband three months later. Practically all of my friends have had breast augmentations, and I’ve certainly never regretted mine. I think if you’re going to get anything fixed, it makes sense to pick that.”

You try again to elicit a strong opinion, whether an endorsement or objection. “I don’t think I’d want to do it if I didn’t feel like it was necessary to be an actress.”

“Well, regardless of whatever you have going on in California, you’ll either have to get them done now or after you have children,” Mom says. “I love you and Clara and Tripp, but you destroyed my body. At least doctors can repair breasts. My bladder is still useless.”

You stare at Mochi distractedly. The dog huffs, unwelcoming. “What was the recovery like?”

“Oh, hell,” your mother says. “But once you heal up it’s worth it. I can wear square necklines and strapless dresses again.”

“Technically, you could have worn whatever you wanted.”

She gives you an impatient look, a you’re too old for that sort of frustration. “No one wants to see some sad flabby woman.” She is including your father in this statement. You remember being home for Thanksgiving Break during your freshman year at Carleton and inadvertently stumbling upon emails from one of the hospital interns when you used his laptop to buy movie tickets: indecent inuendoes, flirtatious photos, no smoking gun but certainly more than was appropriate between colleagues. You had tried to tell your mother, and she had deflected over and over again until you realized that she didn’t want to know; it was easier to be carried by the currents of momentum than to rock the boat until it sank. “This agent of yours…is he celebrating Father’s Day with his family?”

“No, Aegon lost his dad when he was in college.”

“That must have been difficult,” she says vaguely as she scrubs a pot with a green Scotch-Brite dish wand. Your parents are now at the age when their friends have begun to succumb to strokes and heart disease and cancers, and the lurking specter of mortality both horrifies and fascinates them. “What did he die of?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Mom?!” Clara shouts from upstairs. “Osaka is puking in the hallway!”

Your mother sighs and dries her hands on a dish towel, then leaves you alone in the kitchen. You linger there for a while, listening to the faint drone of CNN from the living room television, then leave the house through the sliding glass door in the dining room. Outside the sun is setting, and you gaze westward as the aging daylight turns the tall green grass and silhouettes of horses to gold like the mines that first brought settlers to California. You slide your phone out of the pocket of your denim shorts and take a photo, then post it to your Instagram story with the caption Home and a smiley face emoji.

A minute later, you receive a DM. Aegon has typed: This explains the big horse girl energy

You laugh and respond: They belong to my sister, I am personally very anti-horse

You hope he’ll continue the conversation. You don’t have to wait long. How’s Minnesota? Aegon asks.

You stop and consider how to answer, then decide not to overshare. Devoid of palm trees…but good!

There is a pause—perhaps thirty seconds—and then Aegon types: How’s the ex-boyfriend?

Is he curious or jealous? You smile. Still not standing in the way of anything :)

Aegon reacts with a heart emoji, then immediately switches it to a thumbs-up. You cannot ignore the wave of warmth and fondness and exhilaration that overwhelms you. Logically, you know he’s engaged to another woman. Emotionally, it doesn’t seem relevant.

You think: It’s just a crush. It can’t hurt anybody.

Then you remember what your mother asked, and as you stand outside in the fading dusk light you Google Aegon’s father Viserys Targaryen. He has his own Wikipedia page. You scroll to the bottom, where it reads in nondescript black letters: On October 27, 2009, Targaryen passed away at his Malibu residence after a long illness.

~~~~~~~~~~

You have just finished ringing up a Like It-sized Apple Pie A La Cold Stone when Josh says: “Hey, there’s an old guy asking for you.”

“What?” You look towards the ice cream freezer and there he is, dark jeans, green Nike Killshots, a yellow Hawaiian shirt that’s too big for him. “It’s my agent!” you shout as you rush over to meet him, loud enough that everyone in the shop turns to stare.

“Shh,” Aegon says, but he’s laughing.

“What are you doing here?” you ask from behind the counter.

“I got some good news, and I wanted to tell you in person.”

“Cool! Should I make you ice cream first?”

“Um, sure.” Aegon surveys the menu of Signature Creations. He seems overwhelmed; he actually looks a little panicked.

“Are you usually a chocolate or vanilla person? Or peanut butter, or coffee? Or mint?”

“Strawberry,” Aegon says.

“Strawberry,” you echo, surprised. “Okay, I think you’ll like Our Strawberry Blonde.”

“Neat.”

“Because, you know, it has strawberries and you’re blonde.”

“Sounds literally perfect for me,” Aegon says, smiling.

“What size?”

“Uh…” He reads the labels on the cups in the display case. “The big one.”

“No, you have to say the real name.”

He chuckles. His cheeks are pink, his turbulent blue eyes sparkling. “I’m not saying that.”

“Then I’m not making you ice cream!”

He groans. “I want an Our Strawberry Blonde in the size Gotta Have It.”

“Cup, cone, or waffle cone bowl?”

“Stop asking me questions or you’re fired.”

“Waffle cone bowl,” you decide. Aegon studies you as you work, his head tilted thoughtfully to the side: scraping a mound of strawberry ice cream out of the freezer with your metal spatulas, taking it to the cold countertop, and smashing in graham cracker pie crust, caramel, fluffy whipped topping, and fresh strawberries. You use one of the spatulas to expertly scoop the mixture into a waffle cone bowl, not spilling a drop. Then you hand Aegon his ice cream and ring him up at the cash register. He pays in cash.

You ask Josh, the manager on duty, if you can take your fifteen-minute break now. He frowns. “I thought you were going to refill the yellow cake and Oreo cookie mix-ins first.”

“Hey,” Aegon says. He waves a ten-dollar bill in the air to show it to Josh and then dunks it in the tip jar. “Do it yourself.”

“Fine,” Josh mutters to you. “But you don’t get a second over fifteen minutes.”

There’s no time to waste. You hurry to a small table by the window. It’s 8:30 p.m., and outside the world is indigo-dark and threaded with inorganic sparks of headlights, streetlights, kaleidoscopic neon signs. Your eyeshadow is vibrant and pink, because no one cares about that when you work at an ice cream shop: Push by Natasha Denona, Coax by Urban Decay.

Aegon takes his first taste of his ice cream as he sits down in the chair across from you. “You were right, this is delicious. A bop, not a flop.” Then he notices the bruise on your right wrist. “What the hell happened to your hand?”

“Oh. One of the Akitas bit me. Don’t worry, I can cover it up with concealer.”

Aegon is irritated. “Why is your mother letting her Akitas bite you?”

“It was my fault. I forgot that Oni doesn’t like when people pet his feet.”

Aegon sighs, stirring his Our Strawberry Blonde. “You want some of this?”

“I can’t,” you say reluctantly.

He raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean you can’t?”

“I already had a little cup when I got here this afternoon so I have regrettably hit my ice cream quota for the day.” And then, when Aegon clearly does not approve: “I try not to restrict too much but obviously staying the same size takes effort. That’s not a disorder, it’s just reality.”

Aegon seems to debate arguing, then instead scoops up a heaping spoonful of ice cream and holds it out across the table. “Come on. It doesn’t count if it’s on my spoon.”

You smile sheepishly and open your mouth for him. Your lips close around the plastic spoon: coldness, sweetness, the grit of pulverized graham cracker pie crust, the infinitesimal black seeds of strawberries that catch between your teeth. When Aegon begins to pull it away, you grab his hand and don’t let go until you’ve licked the spoon clean. He laughs hysterically as he watches you. “I haven’t had strawberry ice cream in forever,” you say.

“Don’t tell me you’re a vanilla girl.”

“I am,” you confess. “I know the joke. But I really do always get the vanilla-adjacent flavors. Cookie dough, French vanilla, sweet cream, cheesecake…”

Aegon smirks playfully. “Pathetic.”

“So you’re an enlightened being because you eat strawberry ice cream.”

“Boring people like vanilla. Kids like chocolate. Interesting adults like strawberry.”

“Do you actually have good news for me or did you just come here to be a ghoul?”

“I got you a part.”

“What?!” you squeal, and people are gawking again. This time, Aegon doesn’t tell you to be quiet. “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” he replies, grinning like he can’t help it.

“A part in what?”

“It’s small,” Aegon warns. “It’s an episode of Grey’s Anatomy.”

You scream; Josh scowls at you from behind the counter. “Oh my God, no way, no way!”

“You’re going to be the wife of a guy the doctors kill with negligence. Three scenes, two are pretty short and unremarkable but then you get to yell at the surgeon in the last one. Gives you the opportunity to show some range and make an impression.”

You can’t believe this is happening. “They aren’t going to make me audition first?”

“Well…it’s very last-minute,” Aegon says. “The actress who was supposed to do it has a drug problem or something, I guess, so she ghosted and they were scrambling for a replacement. And I completely fabricated your credentials.”

“What? Really?”

“Yeah, I typed up a resume and sent it over and they loved it. So try not to talk about your actual experience because none of it will match.”

You shake your head, stunned, amazed. “What if they try to contact one of my alleged former employers?”

“Then they’ll be talking to Aemond, and he will lie and say you were an absolute pleasure to work with.”

Aemond Targaryen: Aegon’s younger brother, a screenwriter, a philanthropist, a well-respected entity in Hollywood, and you know this from the Googling that preceded your first meeting with Aegon last week. “And Aemond doesn’t mind helping you commit fraud?”

“It’s not a favor I call in very often.” Aegon finishes his ice cream, then begins breaking apart the waffle cone bowl and shoving shard-like pieces into his mouth.

“When’s the shoot?”

“Very very early on Thursday, that’s the bad news.” Thursday is two days from now. “So I’ll have to pick you up at your apartment at like 5 a.m.”

“That’s fine. I’ll be ready.”

He smiles, gnawing on a chunk of his waffle cone bowl. “I figured.”

“You’re going too?” The hope is unmistakable in your voice.

“Of course I’m going.”

“I didn’t think agents usually went to film shoots.”

“Well, fortunately for you, your agent is imminently fleeing Los Angeles and has already parted ways with most of his clients and really has nothing else going on besides hiding in his office and playing a Nintendo 64, so I figured I could make it. And also if I’m going to be enthusiastically recommending you to people, I should probably see you work at some point.”

You wiggle your eyebrows flirtatiously. “Do I get to make out with my fake husband?”

Aegon is amused. “From what I understand, you get to chastely kiss him once. They’re sending the script over to my office first thing in the morning, so you’ll only have a day to learn your lines.”

“That’s enough time. I’ll make it work.”

“Always so agreeable,” Aegon muses. So desperate is more like it.

Thursday. “Is the shoot just one day?”

“Yeah, they should be able to get everything they need from you on Thursday morning. Why?”

“I have a doctor’s appointment on Friday and I was just wondering if I’d have to reschedule it.”

Aegon is immediately vigilant. “What kind of appointment?”

“Uh…” You smirk guiltily. “It’s just a consultation. No slicing yet.”

“And you’re going to cancel that,” Aegon says flatly.

“Seriously?”

“Do you want implants because you want them or because you think other people want you to have them?”

You hesitate. “Both.” That’s probably a lie.

Aegon leans back in his chair and studies you. “Yeah, you’re cancelling that appointment.”

“Why?”

“Because when I agreed to sign you, you told me that you’d do anything I say. And I’m telling you to cancel it.”

“But why don’t you want me to get implants? Everyone gets implants.”

“Because once you begin to treat scalpels and needles as prescriptions for everything you don’t like about yourself—or everything that other people don’t like about you—it’s very difficult to stop. First it’s your tits, then it’s your eyes and your nose, then it’s your chin and your cheeks and your neck and your ass, and it’s just this revolving door of painful, dangerous, unnecessary procedures that are condemning you for being mortal, that are carving away your humanity one incision at a time. I’ve seen it happen to more people than I could count, and I don’t want it to happen to you. Because you seem very, very human, and I’d like you to stay that way. Which means you don’t cut yourself up because some agent or producer or casting director told you to.” Then he adds, perhaps as an afterthought: “And anyway, you don’t need implants.”

You smile, then reply quietly: “You’ve never seen me.”

Aegon grins. “I don’t care if you have twelve nipples under there like a fucking beagle, you don’t need plastic surgery.”

You both laugh, and the tension evaporates, and even if you don’t cancel the appointment—Aegon is one person, the entertainment industry is omnipotent and eternal—you are glad he seems to like you the way you are. Behind the counter, Josh is waving manically to get your attention and summon you to return to work. You pretend not to see him.

Aegon asks: “Why don’t you like horses?”

“They freak me out. They’re all teeth and legs and they’re huge, I’m always scared they’ll step on me.”

“Your dad’s a doctor, right? I thought all rich girls had horses.”

“Where I’m from, a lot of women ride horses to distract themselves from the fact that their husbands are riding their receptionists or interns. I’d rather have no horse and no awful cheating husband.” And Aegon stares at you and turns serious, because perhaps you’ve inadvertently addressed the elephant in the room: he has a fiancée, and neither of you are acting like she exists. You swiftly pivot. “I’ll make an exception for you, though.”

He appears startled. “What?”

“The Chinese zodiac. You’re a horse. So you’re the only horse I like.”

“Oh, yeah. Right.” Aegon chuckles uneasily and gets up to throw his trash away, then stands under the florescent lights with his hands in his pockets, his blonde hair falling out of its gel and hanging over his forehead. He gazes down at you pensively; you are still seated at the table. “When does your shift end?”

“I’m closing tonight, so I’ll be done around 10:30 or 11.”

“Okay. Can I come back to pick you up and drive you home?”

You are puzzled. “Why?”

He gestures to the inky dark window, incredulous. “Because obviously you shouldn’t be walking alone in Harbor Gateway at midnight? You know there was a shooting a block from here last week. I looked it up.”

“I walk home all the time.”

“You really need to stop doing that.”

“You are being very dramatic for a non-actor.”

“Listen, I can’t go to my house and try to fall asleep while I’m wondering if you’re getting mugged or murdered.”

You look at Aegon. He does seem genuinely worried. “You can drive me home.”

“Great. See you in two hours.” He strides away and shoves open the glass door; the little metal bells hanging there jingle.

“Aegon?”

He halts mid-step and turns around. “Yeah?”

“Does Becca know where you are right now?”

His face is some amalgamation of emotions you can’t read, and this is unusual.“Why do you think I paid in cash?”

And before you can reply, he’s gone.

~~~~~~~~~~

On Thursday, June 19th, Aegon picks you up in his white Chrysler Sebring convertible while the city is still asleep. The sky is dark, the streetlights passing by overhead, infinite pinpoint supernovas. There are hardly any other cars on the road. Aegon’s hair is a mess and his eyes are bleary; he’s sipping a Starbucks coffee with one hand and holding the steering wheel with the other. He is wearing a suit, but he still manages to look unpolished, his white shirt half-untucked and his black tie too skinny. He sets his coffee down in one of the cup holders and passes you something venti-sized and iced.

“I got you a vanilla latte, vanilla girl.”

“Aw, thanks! Skim milk?”

“Nope,” he says, smiling. You smile back and take a gulp of it, cold and sweet and bracing. “What’s your hype song?”

“I can’t tell you,” you say, embarrassed.

“Why not?”

“You’re going to terrorize me.”

“Don’t Stop Believing? Don’t Stop Me Now? I Gotta Feeling?”

“Lose Yourself.”

Aegon throws back his head and cackles, his hair flying in the wind. “That’s definitely a fireable offense. I’m ditching you the second we finish this shoot.” But he taps around on his phone and plugs in the aux, and then Eminem is thudding through the speakers as the Sebring sails north and the red-gold dawn rises on the horizon, a celestial message from the East Coast, an omen from the future.

Aegon drives you to Prospect Studios in Los Feliz, just east of Hollywood. Filming will be indoors on a soundstage. You spend what feels like forever in hair and makeup, and the costume designer—who had prepared for a different actress—dresses and redresses you over and over again, frowning at your chest and waist and thighs, and you have a sudden pang of nauseating panic and dread: I don’t belong here. What the fuck was I thinking?

Then you are in the scenes under intensely radiant artificial light, and just like it did in your roles back in Minnesota, the real world vanishes and all that exists are these characters, these moments, and your body and mind become theirs, and perhaps even your soul too. Your husband is handsome and kind, and here in this liminal fictional space you love him, and when the surgeons wheel him off to the operating room you are full of blind naïve surety. Then the doctors update you on his condition and you are still hopeful, but it becomes a fragile thing, like something that shatters when it’s dropped from a height. And then he is dead, he has been taken away from you, he has been stolen, and you are eclipsed by a blood-red wrath that is animalistic and unforgiving. After each take when you are ripped back through the veil and into reality, you can’t remember exactly what you did or said, and the director doesn’t have many critiques so you aren’t sure how it’s going.

But when it’s over, while you are still standing on the soundstage with the other actors, Aegon puts on his sunglasses and smiles at you from across the room; and you remember what he said outside his office on the day you first met—you are so bright, sunshine—and you know you’ve done a good job.

[twildflower]

I like warturtle..a silly guy. I like the ears and tail. Floofy. I don’t wanna evolve my warturtle(s) and its so annoying that i have to press b to cancel every time it levels up…in my new lets go vee file. I already evolved the one in my old file. Warturtle is one of my favs!! Yes.

Check this out if ur interested in what pokemon i like ig this is literally just all pokemon nothing else surprisingly bc i just scrolled thru the dex lmao at fuckin 1am

Eevee(lutions) raichu warturtle hm yeah these are my main favs. Theres also like both gender meowsticks and espurr theyre very cool, klefki i liked later on its really cute, ehh idk, i don’t remember any more on the spot. Scorbunny and the 2nd evo is cool, oh yeah and fenniken and braixen. A lot of my favs are kalos pokemon lol. Yeah. I kinda like greninja too but thats just very much bc of ash greninja and nah i dont wanna count it. Em. Mimikyu. Yeah. I used to like ninetails a bit but not anymore. Dragonair esp shiny is really pretty. Chimecho togetic jirachi. Yeah togetic only im not that big of a fan of togepi. togekiss is cool but not that much. i prefer togetic. Shinx piplup shaymin i like shaymin a lot its so cute. Piplup is partially because dawn has it as starter in anime and shinx is cute and clemont has one and i saw it and was ohh damn thats a cute one. Zorua minchicco cottonee idk how to spell minchicco. Zoruas really cute its a little gremlin. Why the fuck am i going through the dex at 130 am i want to sleep. Fletchingder line i like that theyre pretty. Flabebe is cute and helioptyle?? Is very cool too. Zygard is so cool and litten is cute. Rockruff has cool design and is cute, comfey is something ive liked for some time but never knew its name lmao, sprigatito line is so cute i love them..okaybthats all i have no more. Actually froakie line i like hem all not just greninja theyre just cool. A lot of my favs are cute or fox/cat/dog mixes somewhat lol. Decudieye rowlet final evo idk how tf do you spell pokemon names is really cool too i like the archer design thats all i like bows and arrows hehe. Yeah no more i think, some are like i think there cool but not cool enough to be what i like enough kinda.

Eeveelutions are my top tho. I love them. Ill take anything eevee related. I got meowstick charms at a con, really lucky bc meowstick are soooo underrated. Or kinda more like i never really see stuff that have them. Actually some in the ones i said above arent that fav its like not what id want but theyre cute enough. Togetic chimecho jirachi piplup minchicco cottonee helioptile litten decudyiesye i guess these are kinda those. Actually add tcnick3 to the why i like piplup reasons lmaooo

[dogsgone]

ooc/rules/cw

mun is kris. 24. they/them, anxious bastard lol

updated 7/3/23: the wrath month edition

the roulxs:

18+ only

minors and personals will be soft blocked. upon following again: hard block.

if you are a personal with an rp sideblog please make it clear on your blog or just tell me because otherwise you might get blocked.

minor MUSES are fine though

i read rules pages for every blog i follow that has one but i have a shit memory so if i accidentally breach one of your rules please let me know. or block me if it’s that egregious but please for the love of god do not publicly @ me who the fuck does that. do not make a callout post for me being forgetful like a fucking weirdo. if i breach a rule that is not on your rules page then i’m sorry, i’m not a mind reader.

on the “q slur:” i’ll do my best to tag is as “#q //” that’s q, two slashes. keep in mind i identify with that word, strongly. if it angers you that i would dare use a “"slur”“ to label myself or whatever, remember “gay” has seen just as much use as a slur. i grew up in the american south, i’ve heard both words used for the same harmful reasons. sorry if this comes off as angry or petty, but if you were continually told that “gay” is a slur and you shouldn’t use it for yourself, you’d be tired and angry too, wouldn’t you? i’ll do my best to tag for it, but i will die on this hill.

please tag spiders/scorpions/arachnids, hanging/nooses, and also maybe trypo/holes thanks

semi-selective i will roleplay with most fandoms, ocs, and muses also not moots exclusive.

please don’t like. involve me in drama or callouts or shit. i’m just here trying to play fucking online dolls

with the above said i do reserve the right to block/cease interacting with ppl who make me uncomfortable, just like you reserve the right to block/cease interacting with me if i make u uncomfortable. i prefer to try to come to some kind of understanding first, but sometimes it doesn’t work out that way

please note that i, the mun, am mentally ill and neurodivergent. in a lot of cases, my muses will share some of my own personal struggles to sort of like. explore these things myself and shit. link in particular shares a lot of my neurodivergencies and chronic pain. shit gets frustrating and sometimes roleplaying a tiny elf twink going thru the same shit helps a bit. u know how it is.

though link may act a bit naive and sometimes even childish, he is still very much an adult. not a “rule” exactly just something to keep in mind.

sorry if some of these seem overly detailed or serious. i’ve been around the block when it comes to rp tumblr i’m just trying to cover all my bases in at least a semi concise manner.

also sorry if any of this comes off as passive aggressive or rude. i can’t parse or regulate tone for shit like in an actual verbal conversation, trying to convey it thru text is damn near impossible for me lmao

i’m really just a tired nerd who is trying to have fun on this hellsite.

um that’s all i can think of for now may add or change more later thanks for reading have a great time

content warnings:

Content warnings for this blog include, but may not be limited to:

- Religious trauma

- Violence, death, etc.

- The inherent psychological torment that comes with being cursed to reincarnate forever and ever, only to be brought into the world when evil once again threatens to destroy everything, and having only a single use and purpose in life to the goddess one serves, that being the wielder of her sacred blade to seal away the evil once more, until it inevitably rears its ugly head again. I guess this goes under religious trauma.

- Mental illness and trauma in general.

- Lycanthropy.

That’s all I can think of for now; if more comes up, I’ll add to this list, and as always, if I’m unsure of anything, I will tag it with #ask to tag, so feel free to blacklist that tag if you need to.

[clegfly]

Oh my god oh my god TOP TIER HEADCANON I need to draw this later ough… so so so them so THEM I’m going insane

Y’know if you want to make this angst (which no one does… ough why can’t they be happy why why why) it could explain why hero only has one stud in… Mari has his other one and he can’t bring himself to wear hers </3 gonna end up on the news they make me viciously chronically ill

YEAH!!! I know you saw my other post about it but I really appreciated the opportunity for sunny to emote more in the manga, even though they could be a BIT exaggerated finally getting to see him make expressions in an overarching narrative was so so GOOD and did his character such a service.

HOWEVER on the flip side they ended up kinda fucking over OMORI’s expressions as well and making him too expressive methinks… they’re clearly TRYING to make his emotions more subdued than sunny’s by a lot and it is pretty obvious when you’re looking at it, but he’s still just a little too emotive in my opinion and it’s quite uncanny…

It’s especially noticeable when he’s meant to be afraid, because…. Part of his character is that he doesn’t feel fear. Like his afraid portrait went unused specifically because of this like… it just really irritated me lmao. Though I’ve interpreted it as sunny’s own emotions and fears leaking in through omori because of how headspace is changing with basil’s absence as always… which is how I’m trying to portray it in the redraw heheheheh

SPEAKING of redraws… even more progress on this because I guess this is how I update it now lmao

He’s mostly done!!! I just need to cleanup, fix his proportions and add something… so that’s silly eheheheheh

He got hit with the fluffy hair syndrome 💔💔 how tragic…

[littlenekosfan]

Friend - visual narrative

this is going to be a long thread bc i have a LOT of panels, so read under the cut!

since im reworking with Friend chapters panels, i paid attention to the details more than ever before.. and wow, the way these chapters are narrated is absolutely amazing

lets start off with my one of my fav panels

if there is a theme between these two that keep recurring it’s “duality” (whether when it comes to their character or the way their story is told) we will also find a lot of parallels with it.. this panel above starts it very well, one left, one right, they both call each other’s name, the expressions completely different, even the background is reversed

there we go again, all this in one chapter, i simply love how they have the same pose/image but reversed, its a really nice contrast with how different they are and yet are at the same level also, look at their speech bubbles, most of the time, jugram has a round one while bazz a sharper one, its the case here and the previous panels aswell

AGAIN! kubo gives us each’s pov with the same image/paneling, i love that method bc he treats them the same, even if one is stronger than the other and ppl will most likely root for/side with one more than the other, they both get the same treatment, also, we get to see how both lives the same struggle, it both conflicts them this whole fight considering the past they had together

the transition is also really nice, the black background outside the panel and the partial grey shading that matches with it inside the panel.. we will get to see that technique again, but here?? lovely.

a whole page not showing their face even if you guessed who they were, you get that little surprise with the face reveal which comes out really nice

the chapter reveal!!!! its so pure and empty (no dialogue and it’s only one panel), it perfectly empathize on the title and its meaning

i love how discreet bazz motive to help out jugo is shown here, obviously none of them would speak about it (jugo is pretty closed and bazz despite being loud, he isnt obnoxious and he’s smart) so it had to be shown without any words and these panels do it so well!

the first panel is just so beautiful and you can tell how jugo is just, happy. and then, the moment his uncle speaks, his face drastically changes, from white to black, kubo loves to work with that contrast of b&w (just look how the ritters/espadas are dressed vs shinigamis.. there is also the sun/moon theme and so on... its not called bleach for nothing lmao) kubo uses contrast very often and we can tell he loves to do it (and he does it super well!!)

i know we dont have any colour on these pages, but both pages are from the same chapter, first one (right) being their fist meeting on a normal day (probably an evening so the sky is orange ish) and the second page is again a jump to a flashback but this time it’s not the sky that we are shown in the last panel, but rather flames, the same colour as the day they met... the two last panels look the same but arent....

there is also the absence of facial expression in some panels, which imo conveys the mood much better, we are not left up to interpretation, we clearly know what kind of feelings that are expressed yet they didnt need to be shown...

again with the parallels (left/right) and using the same image from younger to older to show their growth? nice.

the built up with the grand reveal... wow, love it, also, that panel was such a surprise to me when i first read it... still give me goosebumps today ngl..(if you are a manga reader to likes to have the book, well, this the end of vol69... what an ending :))) just look at the build up, the bg is dark and you get that white and empty panel right after like, wow 

AGAIN WITH THE SUPRISE AND WOW IT HURTS, also the title being in capital... OOF, im going to loose it

ppl like to call kubo lazy with his titles, but is it?? i mean, here, i really cant think of a better title, remember how the first chapter friend was introduced? so sweet and smooth and then you get this... the fact friend is written here is a good call back to their relationship, what it is, what it really means, and the current situation

the way bazz recalls all the things he had heard about this.......th-that hurts (we’re like in his mind, we’re just as shocked as he is) also, it shows well how bazz recall all these moment in silence and does all the realization without saying a thing, bc no, he didnt say a thing ever since yhwach started to talk..

the left panel is yhwach talking (as he was for like the whole chapter) and there is no dialogue going on, the two boys didnt say a thing... as the slience was taking place, bazz breaks is with a shrieking voice, just looking how the letters are written in japanese, we went from pure, clear panel to a messy and dark one....

jump back to present, with both jugrams having the same pose but they both don’t convey the same feeling, with the shading and how cut it is (not being able to fully see jugo’s eyes) you can tell the first one is more disturbing/devastating than the second one

there we go... we get to see both of their expression at the same time and it change within the following panels,.. (im telling you, kubo love both of them, not just one.., both.)

this is one of my favorites moments, the way know bazz has lost his fight and how HE is self-conscious about it..., the way he monologues about jugram is really depressing, and how we are only given images that illustrates his struggle...the images are so strong, desperate and yet, his words are so empty, powerless, he knew he lost.. (the moment i start reading it, i cry on the fucking floor)

i mentioned earlier how i loved kubo’s choice in not showing the face, well we have it here again in a flashback and the end of the fight... jugram turning his back to bazz, he did it in the past and did it after bazz’ death..  it’s his way to avoid to face his feelings. (the fact we are shown he did it in the past and the reason to it, let us know why he did it again even later)

here again with empty panels, the fact it’s only bazz who is talking.... feels really heavy and the way he clings to jugram with burning hands....... you really need to look at every panel carefully to feel that heart wrenching moment,, there is no crying or screaming, he just softly admits his defeat and that’s it, like, im sorry but that’s fucking sorrowful

here again with kubo choosing to not show the face, but in this case, it’s harder for us to tell which expression jugram has (since he’s so closed about showing emotions or his intentions) but the fact kubo deliberately chose to hide it proves jugram has something to hide from us, something he didnt want us (readers) to see.........

these panels? concludes their story perfectly you have jugram walking up the stairs leaving bazz-b alone laying behind, being reminded of the day they met where bazz was the one standing high while jugram is on the ground the setting: the cold empty castle during nighttime vs the warm summer day met in a forest at daytime bazz reached to jugram and jugram left him behind, they met with touched hearts only to leave with empty ones, bazz used to look down on jugram and now, jugram does, they used to be so different and still do but only now, their role are inverted...

thank you @equipollency​ for that remark! i think your post does it much better if yall wanna read it !

i mentioned earlier how the background (outside the panel) would change from black to white, we know the black means the past,  but i love how its broken here, going back and forth from the past and present (within the same page) to show how things are still the same between them, the same struggle, the same fight over and over

also, the “not yet” is just so perfectly placed, i cant, it just emphasize even more on my point earlier (how things between them never changed on that matter)  and it finally concludes the flashbacks (with the way it’s presented: the b&w,, and the words themselves, how they weight so much)

the black shading like that is rarely used with kubo but when he does, you know it conveys extreme emotions (we didnt get to see it with bazz bc it wasnt as intense as jugram has it but also)  the trigger to these emotions for jugram are related to trauma, the first one being his uncle and the second being his friendship (im not calling his relation with bazz traumatic, its how important this relationship was to him and how ended up broken that triggers him)

but NaKi ThErE iS ThiS pAneL wHerE baZz Is ShaDeD bLacK! yes i know, but it’s not about bazz expression nor emotions, its about the scene, the situation (the white bg vs the black silhouette: perfect), so no it doesnt count, but its still a very nice panel just like with the jugo’s reveal with everyone “kneeling” to him.. white bg was The way to go

i forgot to talk about how i like their fight, how there is so little dialogue and how there are a lot of empty pages just to let place to the fight... it lets you enjoy their fight while we suffer with their flashback, anyways, im not a fan of endless dialogue in fights unless it really changes something, here, they both already know each other and they know what they want, so it was a good pick to just, us reader, witness their story through their mind instead of them narrating/recalling it to us

i know kubo uses that technique outside of these chapters, but the grey shading... i love.. he also has a LOT of close ups with eyes bc we all know how expressive eyes are;... i love that too

i know i talked about some facial expressions, but really, kubo’s art is amazing, the way he can convey certain expressions that are so precise... here, have some panels that i think are underrated naki your boys are underrated.. bc i love kubo’s art so much

i had the chance to see the colored version only once, and to be honest, the black and white is just, Amazing. nothing close to that, kubo’s use of b&w and how he keeps his panels pure is MADE to stay that way

anyways, im really in love with how Friend was made and thought out in it’s visual narrative (and story wise too ofc), kubo didnt just do a side story, these chapters are fucking amazing and ppl often ignores that sadly..