#'lucius' is also very difficult for him to say

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

omg so i'm typing my accidental novella, right, and i'm at a part in alces' POV, and LAST time i wrote anything in alces' POV, it was Right When He Got Adopted Into Kazan Fam, so he referred to the Adult Kazans as "grigori-grisha" and "nikolai-kolya" and "natalya-nat" (because lucius uses the full first names at oasis but everyone else uses the diminutives because they're home and fam, obvi, it's a russian thing, go with it--the point is alces Wasn't Sure What To Call These People, or How Familiar To Be).

but. NOW. in the "three years later" from that. it's just straight up "grisha" and "kolya" and "nat" in his narration, and half the time lucius is luka, and i'm Completely Normal About It™, thanks

[sneverussape]

severus gasped and flinched away from lord riddle’s — tom, call me tom, your mother and i were housemates, merlin how time does fly? — touch. the man’s skin was uncannily cold, despite it being nearly summer. like a fish…or a snake.

there was a momentary panic as severus was convinced that the glamour he had painstakingly applied had failed, and he would have to explain his battered face to lucius and cissa. it would ruin the entire evening! fortunately, a cursory glance at one of the many mirrors that lined the hall showed him that the glamour had thankfully held.

but then…how…?

“it was well applied, i must congratulate you on that. very impressive for someone as young as you are.”

severus threw tom a look that was almost defensive. “i’m fourteen. i’m not that young.”

“of course,” tom looked amused. “i didn’t mean to offend. i merely wanted to recognize talent when i see it. you wouldn’t have been able to learn that until…hmmm…NEWT-levels perhaps?”

severus flushed. “it isn’t—” he found himself stammering, “it really isn’t that difficult. jus’ need to be resourceful. i made it for me...”

he bit his lip before he could speak any further and bury himself deeper into a hole. but it seemed tom had caught on well enough.

“I know that pain,” tom said quietly. “I’ve had to hold my own more than once a child.”

“you have?” severus couldn’t help asking. he couldn’t imagine tom having been in his place, at the bottom of the pile that had potter, black, lupin, and pettigrew up on top. he straightened, remembering his manners. cissa would cuff him mightily if she caught him slipping. “begging your pardon, sir. i did not mean to pry. I apologise.”

to his great surprise, tom laughed, wide and open, with his teeth glinting in the firelight.

“oh, severus, you remind me of myself when i was young,” he said. “i daresay brax was right about you.” at severus’ confused expression he explained further. “im a…teacher for…further studies you see. lord malfoy has been generous enough to send a kind word in about you.”

severus coloured for the second time that night. “he has?” he squeaked. he had rarely met lord malfoy but the little that he knew from lucius’ stories was enough to put a liberal amount of fear in him of the powerful wizard. he decided to add with haste, “lucius of course has been teaching me since I arrived in hogwarts, and narcissa too…”

“lucius is a worthy heir for the House of Malfoy, as narcissa is for the House of Black, but you mustn’t discount your own abilities, severus.” tom’s eyes seemed to flash red as he held severus’ awed gaze, but it was gone in the next moment. “you have determined simpler but more effective ways of doing level 6 potions. you’ve invented charms your own professors couldn’t have dreamed of. you can break down spells into their most basic elements and refashion them for your purposes. your excellent glamour is proof!”

tom leaned down to his eye level, and severus held his breath.

“you have the potential to be one of the greatest wizards since merlin, and believe me, i don’t say that lightly. you are utterly brilliant, severus snape. i see your wonderful mind and your desire for knowledge, and i would be glad for you to be my pupil.”

“oh yes!” severus nodded before he could stop himself. his heart was thudding hard against his chest. “is it…er…is it for the summer hols?” his gut churned as he realised it might even have a fee. shite. “and…i’d have to ask mam and my da in case there’s payment…”

to his surprise tom waved him off. “there is no payment, you don’t need to worry. all I need is a willing heart and a brilliant mind. also im afraid i only start taking in pupils once they’ve reached the age of majority.”

“sixteen?” severus’ face fell. that was years away!

“if you would still be willing by that time, I’ll be happy to have you,” tom said. “i can save you a spot. mind that you keep learning, however. i won’t accept anything less than your best. and you must keep our conversation a secret. it isn’t my habit to hand out personal invites.”

“of course!” severus felt almost smug. he could wait two years. “you won’t regret having me.”

tom’s lips curved upward into a wide smile.

“no, i don’t believe I will.”

—

au/hc where severus meets tom at lucius’ leaving party at malfoy manor.

fun fact: the painting behind them is the missing carvaggio, Nativity (bit of a heavy-handed symbolism but i couldn’t help it lol). it’s been missing (from the muggle world at least) since 1969. 😎 guess lu has a not-so secret hobby.

[wisteria-lodge]

do you think lucius only realize he don't want to be a death eater after voldemort was defeated in the 1st war or even during it?

speaking of what are your thoughts/hc on why narcissa didn't take the dark mark despite her sister and her husband doing it? tbh i always wondered how she could've avoided it? i mean she was part of it right, she was in the meetings too

I always thought it made sense that Draco was a difficult pregnancy.

I say that because Lucius and Narcissa seem like the sort of couple who would have loved more children. Narcissa was close with her sisters before things fell apart, and Lucius was an only child... but he's so social I think that must have been lonely for him. I think he would have loved it if Draco had a younger brother or sister. And the only barrier they'd be dealing with there would be a medical one, so.

(also, I love whenever the the Malfoys and the Weasleys are foils, and the idea of Draco and Ron being born at pretty much the same time - but Ron is one of many, a little neglected, mom is a little disappointed he's not a girl etc. while DRACO is so wanted and so special. That's good stuff.)

I also think that if the Malfoys were dealing with fertility issues, Narcissa suffering, maybe even having a miscarriage - that would have made early-twenties Lucius grow up REAL fast. Because yeah, I do think that when Draco was born - about a year before Voldemort's downfall - Lucius' priorities shifted completely, and he started looking for a way out.

And I say that because Lucius rode the wave of the first war really well, coming out with his money and prestige so intact, which would have taken some planning. Lucius is also one of very few Death Eaters who actually got off using the 'imperius curse' defense. (I think the only other one is Avery.) I like the idea that he did actually plan that. Like - okay. You could have someone you trust (Narcissa, maybe Severus) put the imperius curse on you for a couple months, and that way when you're asked "Were you directed to follow Voldemort's orders under the imperius curse," you can say yes, even if you're under Veritaserum.

(Nott senior also seems to have also come out of the first war basically unscathed, but he also seems much more cautious than Lucius. I'll bet he was very good at making sure that there was never much actual evidence against him. Crabbe and Goyle senior also seem to be doing fine, and I tend to think it's because Lucius got them out (possibly because their wives were close with Narcissa? All three women would have been pregnant at the same time.) Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle are *quite* committed to keeping Draco Malfoy in one piece. I love Draco, but he does spend several books being a little shit with no ability to defend himself, so they do have their work cut out for them.

I also think a Narcissa who spent the first Voldemort war dealing with pregnancy-related health issues could explain why she doesn't have a Dark Mark, when honestly she really should. Her husband, sister, brother-in-law, underage cousin... they're all getting them. So why was Narcissa skipped (but still allowed to remain in good standing?) I think she she stayed out of the spotlight, using her delicate health as an excuse. And then the second war comes around and she... fades to the background again, makes herself useful, and hopes that the issue never comes up. I don't think she'd say no to a confundus, or even a memory charm if she were really put on the spot.

(but the real, Doylist reason Narcissa doesn't have a Dark Mark is because JKR has a very strong aversion to writing villainous mothers. See: the very odd framing of Merope Gaunt.)

[mysterycitrus]

Bc I love your thoughts on fandom, how do you feel about fanon thinking that Tim Drake is the CEO of Wayne Enterprises. I personally despise it bc it does so much damage to so many characters imo, but I’m curious about your thoughts on it

short answer - it's dumb. because u mention fanon specifically, i think it's worth saying that the ceo thing is primarily used to demonise dick and damian in order to woobify tim. "woe is me, everyone abandoned me and now i have to pick up the slack," etc. there is no actual care about what the characters would think or feel in this situation.

in rr2009 (beloathed), tim was briefly ceo because it was a tactical decision - he was preventing tommy elliot from gaining access to bruce's fortune. lucius fox remained the actual ceo, and tim always deferred to lucius's experience. that's what annoys me so much about this interpretation of tim - it removes his autonomy and intelligence. tim drake is not a woe is me kinda guy. he has very realistic expectations of his own intelligence and capability, as a result of training with prodigies at the top of their field, like cass and dick and bruce. he does things for a reason. he isn't lying on a chaise lounge, despondent that his family has left him to hold the ship together. quite the opposite, because dick takes over as batman to keep gotham safe and tim has the freedom to do what he likes as a result. keeping him in this role is a disservice to his character.

i also think that tim isn't the sort of person who's interested in that kind of public facing role. ideally, imo, after bruce returns from the time stream dick would get him out of new jersey for a little bit so he can get some seperation from bruce. additionally, the ceo thing props up the idea that smart rich tim is the best possible choice to lead this company, unlike anyone else who isn't as clever as him (dick and damian). i don't think it's difficult to see a trend there.

[oh-my-bindery]

Drarry: I love that Harry the hero is down for murder. But Draco the guy who comes from a long line of a family of dark magic is the one that hates murder (it's literally canon Draco can not kill anyone for shit) and it gives me so many feels. It's partly because I love healer Draco. But also because Harry is reckless and does not have a lot of self preservation. His idea of justice is like you die by the sword.

Definitely! I draw all my conclusions from canon.

Buckle up bc I went on a rant here

The way Draco is written and what we are shown of his actions and character, we can clearly conclude at least few things:

- Draco is a person who fights with his words, that cut deeper than a knife. He knows what he is doing and wants it to hurt. I believe he does it to feel better about himself.

- Draco can’t kill. He literally can’t kill. Even his wand (that chose him) is one that has the most difficult time turining into Dark Arts. It reflects on his character. He is different from his family.

- Draco is a very sensitive boy as we are told by Moaning Myrtle in HBP. We also get to see him break down and for the first time show his real emotions which is a new thing from him. Harry has never seen him cry. Which leads me to ask, why? All 6 years and no one saw Draco cry before? No one saw him express deeper emotions that his usual proud and snarky / bully mask? It is definitely connected to his family, most likely Lucius, as Narcissa is the one who even though believes in blood purity shit, never takes a Dark Mark, never fights for Voldemort, her main concern is always Draco. She has so much love for him. It is probably why Draco even knows that he can allow himself to cry, even if it’s on his own.

- Moaning Myrtle also tells us that Draco is lonely.

- On Harry Potter wiki and Pottermore (I think) it says that Draco was never able to produce a Patronus spell as he didn’t have a strong enough of a happy memory - well that’s sad seeing as Harry was able to do it with how shit his life was.

Draco is supposed to seemingly be rich, get everything he wants, he has a family that is alive , Mother who loves him SO MUCH, father that would she if anything happened to him (well he failed to protect Draco from the worst and then did nothing after the fact, continued being awful but that’s another rant), Slytherins seem to like him, he has some friends although I’m not even sure he likes them or if they like him (from canon we know that by Deathly Hallows - Crabbe and Goyle hate him. Draco never really liked Blaise (or wasn’t fond of him. He tolerated Pansy and had some trust towards her.)

So even though Draco smilingly has all, he doesn’t have a strong enough of a happy memory.

- Draco is terrified of killing someone, so much so he stops eating, keeps to himself and stops being himself when tasked with killing Dumbledore.

When Harry sees Draco in his Voldy visions - Draco looks terrified and broken when asked to torture Rowle - the sight of how Draco is being pushed into doing those horrible things and how much he could be suffering- canonically makes Harry try to get rid of the visions because he doesn’t want to see Draco torture people or if he refuses/ can’t- see Draco being tortured or killed.

- Draco doesn’t care if he dies. Why? Who knows? But he literally lies to his whole family that are depending on him to identify Harry as Harry Potter at the manor and he just doesn’t. He knows what are the consequences of failing to capture Harry are (probably being killed by Voldemort, him and his family.) and Draco knows it is Harry. If he was cruel and and awful person he would say “yep, that’s Potter” but instead Harry notices that Draco looks just as terrified, hands shaky as Harry was. Draco literally would rather have Harry survive and himself die than other way around. It is SO CANON.

And Harry wise

- Harry is super hot-headed as we know.

I think looking at his reaction when Sirius was killed, he literally sprung from Remus’s arms, shooting, shooting curses after Bellateix. He crucioed her. No, thinking, he just does.

When people whom Harry loves / cares about are killed or harmed Harry has no thoughts just do. Give them hell. He will deal with consequences later - he is bad at the ‘dealing with the consequences bit though. He doesn’t want to be a killer, and hates himself for being capable of it.

When Snape kills Dumbledore, Harry is in SO MUCH RAGE. He goes after Snape and literally uses Sectumsempra on him, knowing what it would do- if not helped Snape literally would die lol.

But when it comes to Draco and Harry almost killing him, knowing about Dracos Dark Mark, him being suspicious all year, being horrible to him all other years - ABSOLUTELY NOT ACCEPTABLE.

He leaves Draco alone even after he find out Draco was going to kill Dumbledore.

In conclusion, Harry would 100% kill for Draco, no questioning it. He wouldn’t feel bad about the person being killed but about the fact that he is capable to killing.

[theshippirate22]

I have a theory

listen up bitches (gender neutral) (affectionate) i’ve been cooking this for an incredibly long time and i’m very very excited to share it but it is gonna be long so i’m putting it under a cut

my theory is that there has been a new set of archetypes created by popular m/m media either in canon or coding and i would love if it was more widely recognized by a distinct name so here we go:

I present to you: The Mirrorball x Running Up That Hill Boyfriends™️ Theory

i need to preface this by saying that i am absolutely not an english major or expert but i have done so much analysis that i’m 98% positive i’m on to something here

so usually mlm ships- at least in my experience- get boiled down into typical Grumpy x Sunshine, Golden Retriever x Black Cat, or like. Babygirl x Badass. and i hate that because those are like really watered down hetero romance stereotypes and i think queer people deserve to get our own archetypes instead of trying to force queer characters into prepaid boxes but that’s a story for another day so:

basically, all content with widely accepted mlm ships (even if they are more in coding than in canon) has this pattern with the ship that fits into Mirrorball x Running Up That Hill

(name pending- open to suggestions)

Boyfriend No.1 of course is the epitome of Mirrorball by Taylor Swift (i know, i know. bear with me here). He’s constantly trying to prove himself and his worth and usually he’s driven to hide or overcome 1-3 specific and intense insecurities/character flaws. He often has innate loyalty to a system or person who has repeatedly abused/neglected/abandoned him and thinks that this treatment is a result of his own character rather than a reflection of the abuser. In relation to the plot and audience, this is the “more dangerous” of the two because he’s so desperate to hold onto the status quo that he’ll often act in a way that makes things more difficult for himself, often by leaving Boyfriend No. 2, sacrificing himself, or doing “the wrong thing.” He also commonly has an older male figure that is breathing down his neck constantly, haunting his perceived inadequacies, and fueling his self-loathing. He’s constantly mischaracterized because he’s either boiled down to “the silly one” or a visage of his trauma and the people that relate to love these characters are usually extremely sad people. Usually this character is also the “mean girl” of the couple.

Examples of the Mirrorball boyfriend: Dean Winchester, Aziraphale, Stede Bonnet, Lucius Spriggs, Sherlock Holmes, Eddie Munson, Mike Wheeler, Prince Rupert, etc.

Boyfriend No. 2 then, is the Running Up That Hill Boyfriend, based of course, on the song by the same name by the perfect Kate Bush. He’s the one that’s seen The Horrors™️ and gained a layer of cynicism that Mirrorball doesn’t have. He was once loyal to something that used/hurt him but he rejected it and used his newfound freedom to restructure his entire personality and reach his much higher potential. Usually, he has passed so far from having a few insecurities to perceiving himself as utterly worthless and unlovable but he’s so convinced that it doesn’t even haunt him, he just goes with it and usually comes off looking overly-confident or cocky. This is The Bitch (affectionate)™️. There’s probably a scene of him covered in blood. This is The Girls’ favorite blorbo and ultimate whump. He tends to be really good with kids and he’s the kind of character that would and often has to CLAW a life out for himself by his fingernails.

Examples of the Running Up That Hill Boyfriend: Castiel, Crowley, Ed Teach, Black Pete, John Watson, Steve Harrington, Will Byers, Prince Amir, etc.

unfortunately i haven’t seen a lot of popular queer stuff so if you can think of other mlm or mlm shaped characters that fit into these archetypes please please please tell me

i’m specifically curious about:

-Hannigram (Hannibal)

-Buddy (911) (@criminally-obsessed if you would mind weighing in but obviously no pressure)

-Lokius (Loki) (@henderdads same thing)

-Any of the marauders but specifically WolfStar

-Stucky (MCU)

-RWRB (i’m so sorry i don’t remember the guys’ names)

-Nick and Charlie (Heartstopper)

-What We Do In the Shadows has one I think?

-literally anyone else please and thank you 🙏🙏 love you all

if you want like explicit examples of each piece for a character lmk for sure because i could talk about this all day long

[saintsenara]

Follow up question on Snape as a teacher:

Would he have made a good Headmaster, after the war?

Could it be that an academic position where you’re not in direct contact with students would have been perfect for him?

Or would it be a reign a terror, because his impatience for incompetence would now be applied to the entire school and not just to the potions class?

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

i'm a real sucker for snape surviving nagini's bite and in the two fics i've written where this happens i do have him staying as headmaster.

this isn't primarily for academic reasons - as he points out in one year in every ten, surviving tanks his relationships with several of his closest friends [lucius, in particular, doesn't get over the revelation that snape was a spy; narcissa takes it slightly better], and makes him a massive target for reprisals from death eaters who escape justice. i imagine that he stays at hogwarts after the war for the same reason he says to bellatrix he stays there in canon - that he is safe and comparatively comfortable there.

[it also means he doesn't have to indulge harry's inevitable attempt to burnish his reputation. he can refuse to be seen with him for the rest of his life.]

i do also think it's interesting to imagine that kingsley finds it incredibly difficult to unravel voldemort's legislation. it's clear in canon that - even if the order would like to pretend otherwise - everything the thicknesse government does is done in accordance with wizarding law. voldemort undoubtedly appointed snape by following the correct procedure, and - since the position appears to be tenured, and he could therefore only be removed by resigning - i definitely like the idea of him clinging on as a "fuck you" to the new government.

[and thereby extending this idea of being protected - it's much more difficult to send the headmaster of hogwarts to azkaban than some random man.]

but i do think he'd be pretty good at the job. it's hands-off enough that his loathing of children wouldn't matter, he's self-serving enough to be quite good at wheedling funding out of the ministry/donors [and i think kingsley would probably be willing to keep him happy, not only as penance for not realising what dumbledore was up to but because it's better to have the devil you know in the headmaster's office than someone in the umbridge vein], mcgonagall would do all the real work anyway [as she seems to in canon], he could order the school to bar itself to harry, and it would also be a great way for him to tell voldemort to get fucked, by taking his precious school and ruling it in a way the dark lord would definitely not approve of.

[izzyspussy]

fic where lucius mentions during talk it through time VERY early after the reunion, like still in ed's catboy probation era, that he understands ed and izzy a lot better now, even though he wishes he didn't and doesn't absolve either of them of anything they've done, because after having All That done to him he often gets the urge to hurt people now in a way he never quite did before. have i already made this post. whatever.

so izzy is like this guy needs an outlet, not in those terms obviously because he does not know what that is, BUT. he does know that lucius is a good guy, soft at heart, and he needs to be able to hurt people without doing any harm or scaring himself (two totally separate needs, one of which is MUCH more difficult to navigate lol). but he's already got artistic skill, and he's on a damn pirate ship - and clearly, after all this, he can never go back to not being a pirate - so he needs to learn some piratical shit anyway, right?

so he either has someone else go or goes and gets the needle himself and then he gestures with it to ed, and he tells him, "you're gonna give me one on my right shoulder, just enough of something to fucking show him how to do it, and if you put your hands on me anywhere the fuck else i'll cut 'em off." (because it's early, like i said, and like. he is genuinely angry, and he does want ed to keep his hands to himself... mostly... but more than either of those he's scared to find out he STILL will let ed do whatever he wants so he has to just make sure ed doesn't do it in the first place, and also maybe he's performing a little bit for the rest of the breakup crew who want him to both Be Safe and Not Be With Ed. but anyway, it's complicated, and that's what he says but it means more and different than the sum of its parts, you understand.)

anyway, so then the two of them sit in front of lucius and ed gives izzy a little tattoo on his right shoulder exactly like he was asked and doesn't touch iz anywhere else exactly like he was told and all through he explains what he's doing and why he's doing it that way and he's also maybe slipping in some fun facts about izzy that may or may not actually have any bearing on tattooing him. just, you know, in case there's any other reasons maybe that lucius might want to know. or whatever.

and then lucius takes his turn tattooing izzy under both izzy's and ed's watchful eyes, but mainly ed's because izzy frankly does not really care what it looks like he's doing this for utility for lucius's sake - and also it's been. maybe a bit. a little while. since he really felt any genuine connection to his body, nvm how it looks (tho, as those of us who have tattoos can attest, getting a new one probably helps him with that issue at least some).

[izzysillyhandsy]

I sometimes wonder if the Izzy hate would have reached those dizzying heights if S1 had ended on episode 9.

Izzy would still have done almost all the bad things: making Ed unhappy, duelling Stede and wanting him gone, the deal with the English, his past with Ed/Blackbeard - except for hurting and threatening Ed after the breakup.

And even though all of this can be seen from different angles, it is possible to interpret it from the most damning perspective - and that should be enough to hate him, right?

But Ed wouldn't have turned into the Kraken, he wouldn't have killed Lucius, marooned half of the crew and cut off Izzy's toe.

And I am almost 100% sure that most of the Izzy hate comes from seeing Ed's drastic change in episode 10. Without it, sure, some people might have found Izzy unsympathetic or just unimportant, or a little shit. But that level of hate?

I guess what I'm saying is that a lot of the Izzy hate comes from "what Izzy made Ed do" and not from "what Izzy did to Ed".

Also, it is a way of dealing with the shock/cognitive dissonance of seeing a very beloved character turn "evil" after 9 episodes of being a gentle and misunderstood guy who is a pirate, yes, but who's fundamentally non-violent and good. How can you reconcile this with Ed suddenly killing a beloved (and completely innocent) character? And the extreme violence of the toe-cutting? (And yes, I know Ed burned people alive before, pirate-typical violence etc. But we didn't know these people and we didn't see them in close-up.)

But to blame Izzy for everything and to make him this evil part of Blackbeard - completely separate of "true Ed" of course - lets Ed still be the same gentle soul that loves a fine fabric, fell in love with Stede in the sweetest way and, although traumatized by his childhood, is at his core an innocent person that can be saved by removing the rotten influence of Izzy Hands - without confronting the self-hatred, self-centeredness, mistrust of others and tendency to violence that might be a part of "true Ed" as well.

And of course, if a group of fans started liking Izzy and maybe even defended/found understanding for his actions to a degree - where would that leave Ed? Is it really justifiable to fly into a murderous rage because your heart was broken (by a man you've known for a few weeks), because you're deeply unhappy and you've outgrown your pirate persona?

If Ed wasn't mentally abused by Izzy for decades, if it wasn't Izzy alone that drove Stede away, if Izzy hadn't duelled Stede out of the evilness of his heart, if Ed didn't desperately want to leave but Izzy forced him to stay in their toxic relationship, if it wasn't just Izzy and his hurtful words that drove Ed to become the Kraken...

...then maybe Ed wouldn't be an innocent babygirl anymore, and it would be much more difficult to see Ed/Stede as this perfect, unproblematic and sunshine-y couple.

It seems to me that seeing Izzy as "The Worst" and casting him in the role of the villain behind every bad thing Ed ever did is a quick and painless way to make Ed loveable without actually putting the work in (and the show actually avoided that up unto the death scene - one example is Izzy leaving in S1E4 and Ed manipulating him to stay; there are countless others).

I sometimes have the feeling that the hate for Izzy grows exponentially with more and more of Ed's darker side coming through in the show. And I don't get it - maybe because I am drawn to darker, fucked up characters and relationships. Give Ed his agency back and let him be cruel! Let Ed and Izzy have their mutually destructive, weird but intense dynamic!

Let Ed be a fascinating, loveable character with a (very) dark side - exactly like his partner for decades, Izzy - and you'll actually get a better character, and an additional fascinating relationship - as well as a more interesting story.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

ok what do you think every character in ofmd's highest dnd stat is?

Oooh ok let's get going. Ed and Stede are both very long and the others are rather short.

Ed- ok so I think Ed is definitely maxed out in both intelligence and wisdom. I think he's actually got a surprisingly low charisma. He just has expertise in intimidation and proficiency in deception and maybe persuasion. But more likely his player is looking at that persuasion skill and asking can I make an intimidation check instead.

Now if I was playing a d&d game and the assignment was play Ed in d&d I would give him a high charisma because I would stat him out as a lurker of the deep warlock BUT I think in canon where they're all rogues and fighters his charisma is ass.

Stede- Stede's difficult to stat out. I think most of his stats are probably pretty bad but he has the lucky feat. And some other means of making sure he roles well. He's not dexterous, I'm not sure on his strength, his constitution seems middling, his charisma is hard to pin down because everyone initially hates him (implies low) but he frequently wins people over with the power of friendship (implies high) but I'm leaning towards low on charisma because the winning people over is through persistent whimsy rather than true people skills. They become begrudgingly fond of him because he's impossible to get rid of rather than because he's charming is what I'm saying. He's a good problem solved he thinks on his feet and he's got a good insight which makes me think high wis but also every survival check he makes fails in comical ways so maybe this is another situation of his proficiencies tricking me into thinking he's got a higher wis than he does. The one thing he does have going for him is that he's pretty book smart so I have to go with int by process of elimination, but again, maybe strength, that's kinda the dark horse stat for him he doesn't show it but he doesn't fail any strength rolls either. He knocked a guy out with a punch tho so maybe strength. But his defining trait is problem solving so maybe wis? Idk. Not Con Cha or Dex tho those ones are definitely negative modifiers. If I had to guess middling wis, middling but slightly higher int, most of his proficiencies are in int and Wis skills, medium to high strength but he never uses it.

Jim- Dex. I will not elaborate.

Olu- I generally see Olu as the Jack of all trades build. He's a well rounded individual. None of his stats are all that exceptional but he's good to have around because he's got no negative numbers, and can do it all if push comes to shove.

Lucius- Charisma. He's an artist and his most used non-technical skill is being good with people.

Zheng- Charisma. I feel like this doesn't need any explanation.

Archie- fighting your way out of a snake takes grit, not being digested, and quite a few successful checks to not pass out while holding your breath. Constitution.

Frenchie- Frenchie is very cerebral, but not very book smart. That being said artificers are intelligence casters so I'm going with INT.

Pete- strength or con. He's a silly little guy but his mental stats aren't great and he's not giving me dex vibes either. Human fighter build.

Fang- Strength. See him breaking a guy over his leg and him holding onto the side of the ship with the goat in hand for an hour at least so Ned Low wouldn't find them.

Roach- survival and medicine are both Wis skills and historically my DMs have made players role wisdom for cooking checks.

Wee John- Strength but Charisma is definitely second.

Buttons- Druids are Wis casters.

Swede- drank poison. Lived. Con.

Ivan- he wields an Axe which is a strength weapon so probably strength.

Spanish Jackie- Charisma or Dex, but she displays more charisma.

Calico Jack- Charisma definitely.

Anne- Charisma is the one we see her use but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say her Dex is better.

Mary R.- Strength on the Ivan principle. Definitely not charisma

Mary B.- Commoner stat block with proficiency in painters tools

Izzy- Strength. But much like Stede this is a process of elimination. His Constitution is the worst Constitution we see in OFMD (Izzy the spewer), his Charisma is ass (see everything about him) his wisdom is so bad he can't succeed on an insight check to save his fucking life (and his life has depended on it) intelligence is not so good, Dex is good given how often he lurks in the corner unseen and appears places and the thing he does to Stede's shirt in 1.02 but the beginning of the duel with Stede is the most clear instance of a character using a versatile weapon with their strength stat I've ever seen so I think his strength is probably equal to or better than his dex. Also all the things we see him teaching Stede in 2.05 are strength and dex skills so I think that's where his skill set is.

Damn this crew is not a dexy bunch. Jim said "I'm playing an assassin rogue that throws knives" and everyone else said "alright let me not step on your toes then"

[tagedeszorns]

Do you think Lucius was jealous of Saul's battle brothership with Garro?

Pre-Heresy Lucius is an insecure guy through and through. He knows he's really, really excellent at one thing and that's the only thing he wants to be recognised for. It's not for nothing that his gamerules mention that he was mocked by his brothers for how good-looking he is (and in a legion of perfectly proportioned men, that's quite a feat!). This mockery has certainly contributed to the fact that he defines himself even more than the rest of the Emperor's Children by his perfection in battle. Because that is something he has achieved himself and was not randomly distributed in the genetic lottery. (Of course, this also ensures that he later tries all the harder not to be pretty. Only to then regret it, entrance Hathor Maat stage left, etc, etc …)

All this preamble just for: In contrast, Saul is a self-contained team player. Far too unambitious for a son of Fulgrim, but a gifted strategist and empath. He works with what he has - and he has Lucius (among others). A very effective tool which, although difficult to control, can achieve astonishingly good results if used correctly. And a tool that has decided that it is incredibly fond of Saul.

So Saul has to constantly juggle the fact that Lucius wants to shine on the one hand, but also has a lot of destructive potential on the other. That really is very high maintenance!

Garro on the other hand is …. errr … there. Yes, definitely. Uncomplicated, effective and - in direct comparison to Lucius - very, very predictable.

I suppose, lore-wise, this friendship is supposed to represent the fact that Saul simply needs a break from time to time. I can't explain it any other way.

For Lucius, it's probably much, much more incomprehensible. What does Saul want with this astartes version of unflavoured porridge?

Is he really jealous? It's hard to say. In the sense that Lucius is jealous of everything that draws Saul's attention away from him, probably yes. But really deep down? Probably not, as he can think of absolutely no reason why Garro should be even the slightest bit more interesting than him.

Slightly disgusted amazement? Shaking his head as to why Saul doesn't look for something better? Anger that boredom apparently has a certain appeal? That could be it!

[agentnico]

Gladiator II (2024) review

Been there done that.

Plot: Years after witnessing the death of Maximus at the hands of his uncle, Lucius must enter the Colosseum after the powerful emperors of Rome conquer his home. With rage in his heart and the future of the empire at stake, he looks to the past to find the strength and honor needed to return the glory of Rome to its people.

So me and my wife only recently rediscovered the first Gladiator film and having previously only watched it once when I was a child I evidently did not appreciate the grandiose mastery at play, as that first Gladiator movie is fantastic. From the powerful performances to the epic action to the high spectacle set pieces to Hans Zimmer’s incredible emotional music score…. makes me think of that meme with Homelander proclaiming “it was perfect!”. Truly me and my wife would both now say that Gladiator has sky-rocketed to the top of our favourite films of all time, and also makes me appreciate how great of a director Ridley Scott once was. He still makes some decent projects now such as The Martian and The Last Duel, however he’s very much a hit and miss director at the moment. But back in the day with the likes of Alien, Blade Runner, Thelma & Louise and the aforementioned Gladiator, the guy can like REALLY make a movie! As such having grown a new appreciation for his Roman epic, I was really looking forward to but also sceptical over the upcoming sequel. For one due to so much time passing since the original, and also lack of Russell Crowe for obvious reasons and the trailers suggesting that this new one is essentially a copy of the original. The latter aspect especially was a concern, for the original film was a multiple Academy Award winning motion picture, so trying to recapture that same flame would be silly. So my hope was that Scott and the team would try and do something new and different whilst still in-keeping the world created by the original film. Question is, was it worth all this wait, and more importantly, was I entertained??

Look, I don’t one to be one of those snobs who compares a sequel to its original, but it’s difficult not to (so seems like I’ll be snobbing it today!) due to the reputation of the first one, as well as the fact that Gladiator 2 (or II if you’re into your Roman numerals) is in essence a repackaged version of the first movie. Well, part of it is. The whole plot line involving Paul Mescal’s Lucius going on his revenge quest into the Colosseum is that rehash, and unfortunately it is the primary storyline of the film. The issue with this is it naturally ends up living in the shadow of its predecessor. The other more interesting narrative is one that involves acting legend Denzel Washington (spawning a lovely American accent in Rome but the man is so entertaining to watch you cannot help but forgive him his transgressions) where he tries to take over Rome by weaselling his way to the top of Rome’s political hierarchy. That stuff is actually great, and him manipulating the two emperors and causing their eventual downfall was really intriguing to witness. Shame that this story beat only really came to full effect in the last 30 mins of the movie.

As for the performances, as this one boasts a stacked cast. I’m sorry to Paul Mescal fans, but he’s really stale and bland in the main role of Lucius, or more-so Maximus 2.0. It doesn’t help that the script by David Scarpa lacks any depth or character development that made the original Gladiator so compelling, but even on the basics of acting Mescal doesn’t do much with his role. Like his wife dies and I never really felt like he gave that much of a crap. Or whenever he had to deliver any level of emotion, I never felt it. In the original Russell Crowe manages to portray so much through his eyes. The versatility of his face with watching him switch from emotion to emotion was actually incredible. For example when Commodus tried to goad him into attacking him, and you can physically see this breaking Maximus’ mind and then taking every ounce of being to hold his composure and pulling himself back together and then saying “I will kill you but not right now” or something along those lines….like guys that was pure cinema! So yep, Paul Mescal has none of that. He delivers what is supposed to be an inspirational monologue at the end of the film about strengths and honour and I did not give a single dollop of a turd.

Pedro Pascal was in this film less than I expected. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Pedro, but here for the few scenes he’s in he spends moping about wishing for a better Rome, which was all good and sound only that that was his only character trait! Like seriously I cannot underline how weak of a script this movie has! Take the two tyrannical emperors for example. Joseph Quinn (aka Eddie from Stranger Things) to be fair as Emperor Geta was quite watchable, but his brother Emperor Caracalla played by Fred Hechinger was a straight up knock off of Joaquin Phoenix’s Commodus from the first film. Except that the brat that was Commodus was given the necessary build-up, as you could tell from the beginning of the movie that his dad (played by the late Richard Harris) was probably a terrible father who spent too much time wanting to build up the empire by endlessly invading everywhere rather than spend time with his children. As such Commodus is raised to be a wuss, so his actions in the film have sense. In Gladiator 2 though Caracalla literally is an unstable prick and that’s it. So again I cannot necessarily blame Hechinger as his performance was based on the limited info that was given to him, but this doesn’t result for a compelling character. Connie Nielsen is one of the only returning characters (aside from Derek Jacobi) from the first film, and I’ll give her props, she seemed to be acting her ass off, so much so that when she shared scenes with Mescal even he showed glimmers of emotion. Finally we have Denzel Washington, who to be fair from the trailers I expected a much more extravagant and absurd performance from, but nevertheless he seems to be having a lot of fun in this role, and to be fair the movie really turns up a notch every time he appeared. Also did not expect by the end of 2024 to be shipping Denzel with Tim McInnerny from Blackadder yet here we are.

The direction from Ridley Scott is strong to be fair, and the impressive set piece of the Colosseum and the tense blockbuster-level action fights in the arena were great to watch, now with the added flavour of baboons and sharks (yes, sharks). Costumes and make-up are all great and there was something nice about seeing a true historical epic at the movies. I give Scott props, he’s the only major filmmaker currently still trying to keep that genre alive, with his recent other releases being Napoleon and The Last Duel.

The music though by Harry Gregson-Williams is a very generic historical epic score, and very much a downgrade from Hans Zimmer’s masterclass work in the original. That’s the thing with Gladiator 2 - basically everything about it was done better by the original, and it really feels like it too. I’m still happy that this movie will be seen in the cinemas though (my screening was absolutely packed and most of the screening for the film on the day were sold out too) as it allows for the genre of historical epics to still live on. That being said though, I am not entertained.

Overall score: 4/10

[twistedminutia]

Hello! You mentioned it being the one year anniversary for your fic soon — in light of the most recent chapter I think it would be very interesting to know what the teachers thought of Gray

All right, so I said try to limit it to one character per ask, but this one was sent before I officially posted the rules, so I'll do all the teachers, but keep the answers short for each one. Also, I wasn't sure if you wanted Crowley included in there, so I'll throw him in as a freebie.

Crowley:

"The prefect, hm? An unusual human, to be sure. The Dark Mirror has never erred in its time of serving the school, but to summon a student without magic... well, I just can't seem to figure out the reasoning! Adding to that the idea that she's from another world entirely, something that shouldn't be possible... Of course, I am looking into it! But answers have been rather difficult to find. Regardless, she's a fine enough student and quite willing to assist me when needed, so I have few complaints! Though I do think she could try to curb the appetite of her beast. I'm not made of money, you know!"

Trein:

"Gray is a fine student. Attentive in class, completes homework on time, and seems eager to learn. I admit, I was quite surprised by her seeming dedication to her studies contrasted with her lack of knowledge. I recall she scored quite dismally on her first exam here. She was quite distraught over it. Even when she began attending office hours and taking some private tutelage from me, she was still struggling. Of course, it all makes sense now, knowing she's not from this world. Poor girl. I don't think Crowley is taking her situation seriously enough. I've asked her to reach out, but she doesn't seem eager to do so. I'm not convinced staying here is the best thing for her, but if Crowley truly is looking into a way to return her home, perhaps it is best she stays here for now. Not to mention, she has a cat of her own. I think Lucius likes the company when Gray brings her around."

Crewel:

"That pup needs less discipline than her companions, but she also needs some serious assertiveness training! A pup too frightened to bite back is almost as bad as one who bites too much. In this kennel, the runts will get crushed if they don't stand up for themselves. As frustrating as that mangy mutt she spends most of her time with is, at least he knows how to snap back. She remains utterly reluctant to do so. Of course, Crowley hasn't been helping. I'm not sure he knows what he's doing. Despite her lack of magic, Gray is focused in class, which is more than I can say for her companions. Though she still can't keep Grim on a short enough leash to prevent a disaster every other week..."

Vargas:

"The girl? Needs training! Maybe she can't fly a broom like the rest of the guys here, but she can run laps, do pushups, and get herself some MUSCLE! Looks like a twig that's about to blow over and gets winded after one lap of the field. Not having magic is all the MORE reason to make sure she's got bulk enough to protect herself. I'll come up with a training regimen that'll whip her into shape and help her build STRENGTH."

[mimikyu-oli]

Memories of the Neighbor's House.

Chapter1: New town, new people, new start.

Hurricane. The town with a weird name. Surrounded by desert. The south? Desert. The north? Desert. East and West? You got it! Desert! The town was hiden by the desert. But somehow. Rain was still possible there. But somehow. Forests was still present. A true mystery. Fortunately, one familly would be able to solve it! Their adventure start when they moved in-

"Can you stop narrating, please. The trip was very long and I'm incredibly tired."

"You're no fun Lu-Lu." "Yeah! No fun."

“It’s not really my fault that we left at 7 in the morning and the drive took 10 hours.”

"You could have just took a nap like us."

"Oh wow, thanks. I didn't think about it. It's not like I tried to do it three times during the whole trip and that each of them had been impossible to do due to either too much light or too much noise or a bad posture or all of the above."

"Well, it's not really our fault if you're too picky to sleep in a car."

"I'm just asking, for both of you, to be quiet for a bit. At least, until we all are in our own new rooms."

"How would we be able to record our discoveries and get views if we're too quiet?" "Yeah, it's very lame and boring when the guy is all silent during the whole video." "How can I narrate without narrating!?"

"Guys! Just… Please. Shut up. I can feel a headacke coming."

"Well that's just too bad, cause your head is not important in this video." "There's unresolved mysteries that is waiting to be discovered."

"And then, the mystery stop being one when the researchers discover that it was all just a lame smudge in a corner."

"We don't need your skepticism to ruin our show!" "And fun!"

"I'm not skeptic-"

"You clearly don't believe in ghosts."

"It's not that I don't belive in ghost. It's just, most of the time, there's a reason for any little things that you may consider as 'surnatural'."

"That's just an excuse for the fact you actually give up easily when you can't explain anything."

"I don't give up. I put the questions aside until I get new informations and tools to use."

"You're giving up."

"Urgh. Mom. Help me there."

"Well, I don't know what to say, sweety. They do have a point." "MOM!?" A clap can be heard from the back of the car when the twins high five each other.

"Well, they have to find a way to entertain themself. And there's not much to do in a car. We also have to encourage their passions. And we're almost there. Just a few more minutes and you can use the rest of the day to sleep, sweety."

Lucius sigh. Why wasn't he with their dad and uncle Jason again? Right. They have to go first so they could settled earlier and he had to sleep for longer.

The praparations for the move had stressed him out for quite a time. And it got worse and worse as the D-day approached.

So he didn't really had the opportunity of a 'good night sleep' since then.

Was it really a bad thing he wasn't with the two men though? His father is smart. But when he's with his brother, they both suddenly become the half of a brain cell.

And their dads joke become more insufferable too.

So, it was either:

1) Annoying siblings.

or

2) Annoying dump older man.

Yeah, the choice wasn't difficult.

Still annoying, though.

They arrived at their destination precisely 7 minutes later. They could see the patriarch stepping out of the front door of their new house and walking their way.

"Hey-hey! You made it!"

"Yeah! We survived the complain of a jerk." "And a narrating stopper!"

"And I survived the pestering of two energetic mosquitoes with only three hours worth of sleep in my body."

"Told you you should have got to sleep earlier." His dad retorted.

"And I told you the stress had infected the nights too."

"Oh boy." …

….

"So! Ed. Did you two were able to setle all our furnitures?"

"Uuuuhh…-" "EDMUND!" A large man errupt from the front door. "You'll NEVER guess where I found the remote!"

"WHERE!?"

"Here we go again." Evelyn sighed, dejectedly knowing perfectly well what was coming.

"Hehehehe. It-it was in- Pffff. It was in…hehe." "Say IT!" "Hihihi." "Come on! SAY IT!"

(He's way too enthusiastic about it.)

"It was-it was in…eheh. It was in the frame of your family painting. HA!" "REALLY!?" "Yeah! Right behind it! HA!" They both start laughing. Like this was one of the greatest jokes said of the day. "Oh lala." Which was the height of his mother.

Edmund, the father in the Mortimer familly, was a….. He's honestly isn't sure what kind of job he was working. Something about computers….. Maybe?

Anyway, he got a proposition to work in some business that could lead him into a promotion in later days.

Work that was literally at the opposite side of the country. In a city named Hurricane. (Which was pronounced "Her-ah-kun". For some reasons!)

Fun.

"Please, tell me there's no other… "fish" incident?"

"Oh. Come on, Ev. How could we have known that there was fish in the percolator." (In the percolator.) Lucius think at the same time as his uncle. "Yeah. And you used it in one of your books. So, you can't complain."

"Mmm."

Evelyn Mortimer. Obviously the mother. (And obviously the one with the head.) She's a writer. So, moving out to another state doesn't really bother her. She can use the new scenery for inspiration.

It was a win-win!

And obviously. When the parents are all ready to move, the kids as to follow. He wasn't against it. He was pretty much already a loner in their old place.

But this is a Big change.

A new place.

New rules.

New people.

New streets.

New stores.

New school.

New time.

New EVERYTHING!

Everyone was WAY too enthusiastic for this.

It was REALLY overwhelming.

"Ok. Fine." "Yes!"

"But how much of stuff did you do?"

"Oh! We're almost finished."

"And how much do we have to move it again because you didn't placed it correctly?"

"Uuuh…"

"Alright. Kids!"

The siblings trio looked at their mother.

"Go look where your stuff are and place them in your rooms."

"How do we know which rooms is ours?" "Yeah! Which one!?"

"Obviously the one with two beds."

"Lucius."

"What!? Am I wrong?"

Evelyn sighed "The twins room is on the second floor while Lucius' is in the basement."

"WOOHOO! Cool air and darkness!"

"NOT FAIR! Why does he have the whole basement and us just a tiny room?" "We demand fairness!"

"Your room have two doors, a sliding wall you can close anytime so you can keep your privacy to each other and it's as big as the master bedroom. Which make your brother's bedroom the smallest of all of us."

"Yeah. If there's someone who should demand fairness, it's me. But I won't complaint. It's exactly what I wan- and they're gone."

The twins rush inside retrieving their misplaced belonging.

Jason whistled. "They're really into it."

"They've been really trilled about the idea of new "ghost story" to investigate. They even kept talking about the famous incidents during the whole ride."

"Incidents? You mean that pizzeria? What was its name again?"

"Freddy Fazbear's Pizza."

"Oh yeah. The bear one." Jason stated. (He wanted to feel included.)

"Kind of weird for one restaurant to have so much 'issues'." Edmund inquired.

"It wasn't one restaurant." He stated.

"Uh?"

"It was at least four or five. Some of them were probably even in the same location, but that's just a theory."

"You sound quite invested for someone who doesn't like 'ghost stories'?" Edmund asked his son.

He sighed "It has nothing to do about ghost. It's a bunch of kidnapings, murders, cover ups, arsons, 'malfonctioning' animatronics and much more. They even had the culprit for a time, but he suddenly vanished after his release."

"Why did they released him if he clearly was 'the man behind the slaughter'?"

"Lack of evidence."

"Really!?"

"No body. No weapon. No murder."

"This city has serious problems with illegality."

"And that's one downgrade of this place." His mother replied.

"That's another thing good for inspiration. I remember you saying that often for excuses to your friends."

"It is good for inspiration."

"Well, I guess there's no need for me to stay." Uncle Jason interrupted.

"Really? Don't you want to stay a little? We're about to have take outs." Edmund replied to his brother.

"Very nice of you. But the move was exausthing and I have to go back. It's a long route, you know."

"Right. Well, don't hesitate to call us, okay?"

"I sure won't."

"Bye. Thank you again for everything. Be safe on the road." His mother told her brother-in-law.

"Of course Ev."

"HEY THE JS! COME SAY GOODBYE! YOUR UNCLE IS GOING!"

"BYE UNCLE JAY!" They can hear two distinct voices deep inside the house.

"BYE KIDS! You too, Luce."

"You're not italian."

"It was more latin, but alright."

(CRAP! Right. It pretty much means the same thing as his name. Urgh. He's so tired.) "A-anyway. Goodbye uncle J."

"Don't get in too much trouble."

"I'll do my best, but I can't promise anything. Especialy with these two inside."

"Hehe. Fair. And don't course for a girlfriend too hard, ok?"

Sure. A 'Girlfriend'. "That's you who think that."

"Eheh. Anyway. Bye Ev. Bye lil' bro."

"Bye Big J."

"Don't molest him too much, Ev."

"I'll try my best!"

Jason got in his truck and drives away of the house.

"You're not actually going to molest me, right?"

"Depends on how much we need to replaced."

"Ehe.. uuuh."

The parents entered their new home while he retrieved his stuff in the car. As he walked towards his place, he noticed movements out of the corner of his eye.

The only thing he was able to see was a single house a few meters from him. It was pretty old. And clearly abandoned judging by its lack of maintenance.

Did he saw it right? He was sure something or someone were observing him.

(He didn't dreamed it, right? There was a shade looking at him a second ago.)

Lucius stared at the house for a moment. Time seemed to instantly freeze.

Everything was quiet. Everything stayed still. Like there was only him and the house.

"LUCIUS! YOU'RE COMING!?"

He jumped at the call. "YEAH YEAH! I'M COMING!"

He looked back at the house for a minute.

(Strange.)

He walked back to his house.

He really needed to sleep.

---

Completed.

What do you think? @murkymusito

Should I post it? 🤔

[dracomort]

i think your takes on draco are the most interesting and realistic that i've read! would you mind sharing some more about your thoughts on him? specifically his life after the war (you mentioned that he is unlikely to be down-and-out, which i agree with vehemently and it was always off-putting for me to read in a fic lololol). but also you mentioned he is likely to not be SUPER guilty after the war and i wonder how that plays into your idea drarry dynamic? (i hope that made sense @_@)

Makes complete sense, anon :)

There's a million-and-one things i could say about Drarry, but I'll keep this Draco focused to maintain a somewhat reasonable wordcount and actually answer your question.

I don't think I have an 'ideal' post-war Drarry plot/setting since what I like most about Drarry is the variety in fics. Thematically and relationship arc-wise though, what I enjoy seeing most from Drarry is a situation where they both bring something to the table and shift each other's perspectives, rather than Draco bending over backward to align to Harry's moral rigidity.

Just as Harry won't be cheerily joining the Death Eaters and declaring Muggles scum that need to be wiped off the planet (or maybe he will be in your fic, IDC), I also don't see Draco embracing the Muggle world with open arms, abandoning his family and donating all his money to charity. I don't care how much Voldemort bullied him. This is still Draco Malfoy we're talking about.

I know the more common dynamic is for Draco to be self-loathing and Harry to give him a motivational pep-talk about how he was a victim/he was acting under duress, etc. etc. But personally, I think Draco would deny responsibility till he was blue in the face. Not only is he a known compartmentaliser (hence why he was good at Occlumency), but he's also a spoilt brat who has never had to take responsibility for his actions in his life. It's easier for his psyche to insist that he played no active role in the war or anything that came before it. He's very well practised at playing the victim, after all. This of course would lead to a legendary spat and Harry wondering why he ever felt sorry for Draco in the first place.

Draco is not someone who handles rejection or embarrassment well (e.g. "you don't like me? well your mum is dead"), so I hardly think he would cope with shame or guilt in a productive manner. It's precisely this guilt that would lead him to lash out with aggression, hostility and blame, rather than cope with those emotions in a healthy manner. He's not a pleasant person at the best of times, let alone when you mix in war trauma. Only through getting to know each other (perhaps through some sort of forced proximity) would Harry be able to begin to unpack the clusterfuck that is his brain.

In post-war Drarry I would love to see more of an emphasis on the recovery of the Malfoys as a family unit. Even if Draco eventually decides to distance himself from his family, I think that would be a complex, extremely difficult decision for him to make. Quite frankly I don't see Draco ever cutting them off, leaving behind the magical world, etc. I can see his focus post-war being on improving the reputation of the Malfoys, returning the Manor to its former glory and strengthening their relationships with the other surviving pureblood families. I don't think the Malfoys would be the only family doing this. Many purebloods would double-down on their ideology and cry about persecution under post-war scrutiny while, for the most part, still benefiting from being a formidable, wealthy, politically powerful force within Wizarding Britain, regardless of whether they have Voldemort. I don't exactly buy Lucius spending much time in Azkaban, but if necessary for the plot/Draco's character growth, I fully support.

Draco is the Malfoy heir and the last of the Blacks. There's a thousand years of history resting on his shoulders and that's not something that Harry can easily empathise with. I don't believe characters can overcome all their flaws, nor that couples need to agree on everything. Harry and Draco will always have differences that they will never, ever see eye-to-eye on, and that's perfectly fine. Smooth, flawless characters that can come to an agreement on any topic through healthy, open communication regurgitated from some shrink's relationship script-book are not at all interesting to me. Sorry lol.

Do I think Harry would tolerate bigotry or have a healthy, warm relationship with Lucius? No, though the latter would be pretty funny. But do I think Draco will ever be able to match to Harry's idea of moral goodness? Also no. I like to see them find a middle-ground. Draco lives in a world of ambiguity and contradiction. I'm sure he's very used to the people he loves most doing horrible things that he will never properly be able to comprehend. As a child, he justified their bigotry and cruelty with a certain level of moralism, but I doubt he'd be able to keep that up post-war. I imagine he would just ignore their unpalatable traits, avoid conversations where he has to address that, etc. I don't think Harry would respect that approach, but I also think he has enough empathy and maturity (post DH) to understand the difficult position Draco is in.

I have some difficulty with eighth year fics where pursuing a career is something Draco sees as a natural next step. I don't have an issue with Draco falling on hard times financially for the sake of the narrative (I too have written, as one commenter called it, Temporarily Embarrassed Billionaire!Draco), but I think he would struggle with the shame and embarrassment of having to 'lower' himself to take a job. Again, something that Harry, with his (at best) middle-class upbringing, wouldn't be able to even comprehend. You thought first world problems were obnoxious? Try 0.001 percenter problems. I do love fics where Draco pursues a career though, be it Auror, Healer, Curse-breaker, etc. It's one of my favourite features of post-war Drarry fics. The world is their oyster. I just don't agree with Draco having a middle-class liberal mindset. Bro is an aristocrat.

[lilithofpenandbook]

Ya know what, if they can do it, I can, so fuck canon I'm making my own lil alterations because why the fuck not!

So headcanon that Andromeda and Narcissa Black were actually Severus's best friends in hogwarts. Andromeda was only there for one year with Severus. She was a seventh year in Slytherin, and a prefect and unlike Lucius who went about using his prefect privileges to essentially use the little boys as his lil servants (especially the poor ones, like Severus, in exchange for favour and gifts and praise- hence Sirius calling Severus Lucius's lapdog as Severus was naturally the most eager for these), Andromeda actually took care of people. She believed that there were people who were lucky and people who weren't, so it was the duty of those who were lucky to help those who weren't. She especially took care of Severus, seeing how the boy quite literally didn't have anything or anyone, and often scolded Sirius for being too harsh with him (Sirius would just laugh, never taking her seriously, and Andromeda did find it difficult to be stern with her little cousin). When she graduated, she asked Severus to take her old robes, saying that she'd never need them and she hated to waste such lovely material (her robes were made of the best material possible, and so they weren't just elegant with the very faint pattern all over them, but also very sturdy), and she said it like that because she didnt want to embarrass Severus either by implying that he was so poor she was giving him charity (compared to Lucius who gave Severus a trinket as a "gift" that Tobias stole, sold, and spent the money on alcohol). Severus wore them for the next 6 years and they're still wearable.

After she left, Narcissa took an interest in Severus. While she was much more classist, she wasn't unkind either. She did believe that wealth and blood purity made people better than others, however she didn't treat people poorly based on class, although she did expect the lower classes to serve in exchange for favours. Unlike Lucius, when she gave orders to younger, poorer students, she wasn't arrogant or unkind in them, and she did do well by them. Severus always knew he wasn't her equal the way he was with Andromeda (who treated him no differently than she treated Sirius, except perhaps with greater kindness), however Narcissa did treat him with kindness and even a sort of respect, better than Lucius did. Oh, as for Lucius...

The reason he married the youngest sister and not either of the older two is because Bellatrix scared him and Andromeda also scared him. He once dared ask her to dance with him and got a look that could freeze hell. So he settled for Narcissa. Who also almost rejected him, but (as she confided to Severus one day when he asked why was she marrying someone like Lucius) Lucius looked so miserable and defeated that she felt sorry for him. That and she hoped that by marrying into the Malfoys her parents may calm the rage they felt when Andromeda married Ted Tonks. But mostly she felt bad for him. (nobody wanted Lucius, for all his pure blood status, because the fact is Lucius was pretty damn useless at anything noble or gallant, and the pure blood women had a sense of self respect- if they're marrying into a traditional marriage and taking a traditional role, their husbands had better be the traditional knight of a man. Not whatever sad wet peacock Lucius was).

I have so much more on them but the rest needs to come in another post