#'i'm writing fiction and i'm not going to become a psychologist for this'

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia, I'm not sure if this question has been asked before, but how did you decide for Efnisien to have Pure O or even OCD in general?

Hi anon!

Tbh the answer to this is going to be very boring, because I decided through research. Like, I literally just did a lot of research.

I already knew he had PTSD, and I knew from the end of Falling Falling Stars that I quickly had added in some obsessional thinking (which he already demonstrated in how he texted Gwyn, so I was comfortable with that Dx), and then kind of forgot about it because I wasn't ever going to write about him again.

Before Falling Falling Stars I did the good old deep dive into OCD and the different variants of obsessional thinking. I already knew that a chunk of his obsessional thinking was kind of masking the true depth of his PTSD, and that once one started to alleviate, the true nature of his PTSD/C-PTSD would emerge.

Mental illnesses often don't work like this (though they can), but for Efnisien, obsessional thinking was a coping mechanism to hide from his own trauma and to have an anxious, life-damaging outlet for what he was going through. I doubt he ever would have developed Pure O if he'd been removed from that household at an earlier age.

But yeah like, research is how I decided!

[headspace-hotel]

How am I going to work for a living when being around other people, moving between different environments and expectations, or being exposed to noise for more than 3-4 hours a day makes me so exhausted it's challenging to perform basic self-care tasks, and pushing past that makes this condition worse, and doing that frequently creates long-term spillover that impairs my functioning for a much longer period

The psychologist who diagnosed me with autism insisted that I could become desensitized to noise through exposure, but it's been almost 10 years and I've never been able to increase my tolerance to stimuli even temporarily, only dramatically decrease it through, I guess, the cumulative effect of exhaustion.

The last semester in school I was having anxiety attacks every single day the first week, and from there I just...limped. I never got to the point where I felt okay and could think beyond just surviving the next day.

I would go to work and basically just, screw around hoping I wasn't in the way too much, because I could not move myself to think on the level of problem-solving and work on projects I wanted to accomplish, I was just too exhausted. I didn't meet any new friends. I didn't go to a single non-required event, even though I wanted to. My mom would ask me if I was enjoying my classes and I would be like..."I don't know." I was often too tired even to play Minecraft.

And I didn't read or write any fiction, even though my love of doing so used to be the fundamental part of my identity.

I kept getting extremely dehydrated and having scary symptoms and being unable to figure out what was wrong. I remember feeling certain that I was starting to get sick/run a fever at many different points throughout the semester, and then I would keep going and feel like 10% better and after a few days it would be clear that I wasn't sick and I wasn't going to become sick nor would I get significantly better quickly. I was sleeping a LOT—like I would be too tired to stay awake by 11:30pm, which is seriously unusual for me and usually means I'm getting sick, and yet I overslept my classes more times than I could count. I felt sure I had some sort of infection or something for the last couple weeks, and then when I came home for the holidays, everything just... cleared up. Still not sure if it was the dehydration or what.

Also, my menstrual period went irregular again??

[lucadrawss]

I'm not at all a psychologist but I want to go into the psychology behind the actions of the Arclight family. I apologise if anything sounds wrong at all feel free to correct me. I'll go through all of them individually. I won't go into Byron though as I'm not entirely sure what to write about him.

Overall theres a lot to unpack with this family so this'll be long.

(Its gone 2am as I'm writing this hence my rambles about fictional characters)

Christopher:

So Chris being the oldest seems to put alot of pressure on him, he seems to take alot of the responsibility which could tie into him feeling he needs to take care of his brothers as their father is downright neglecting them but also him as well, which he doesn't seem to realise or he does realise and he just doesn't care. We already saw in flashbacks that he already acted older than he was when they were younger which could really tie into his current mental state seeing as he seemed to force himself to grow up quicker than he should have. This could also tie into Chris feeling protective of his brothers as we know they were eventually separated for a little while, he seems to really care for them, even seeming extremely worried when Michael is dueling Yuma, he could feel like he owes it to them to protect them. Sure he's acting like a big brother should, but there seems to be more to it. Obviously he misses his father, thats very obvious with all three of them, but it also seems like he carries a bit of guilt about what happened to him, survivors guilt so to speak. When his father didn't come back he could have felt so much guilt that he didn't go with him. This would be made even worse when he eventually learns what really happened, causing the guilt to tug on his heart even more after seeing what his father had become and how he was no longer the person that had raised him. I would go into more detail and I know I haven't touched on the whole thing with Kaito and Haruto but this is already super long and I have to write about his brothers too.

Thomas:

We've seen how he reacts to being put down and insulted by his father: with anger and retaliation. Thomas seems to have a fear of failure or not being good enough, he strives for his fathers validation and just wants to be seen as a good son, maybe even better than that. All he wants is his fathers approval and love and he takes that out in the form of anger and aggression towards anyone and everyone. He wants to prove himself, prove that he can do things on his own and that he's worthy of his fathers time and acknowledgement. When he realised he was just being used to manipulate someone else for his father he snaps, letting his rage take over and he doesn't think straight which eventually leads to his downfall, he makes the same mistake during the duel against Nasch. Its clear that he's never been taught how to regulate his emotions and that he doesn't know how to control his anger. Thomas seems to have really low self confidence but tries to mask it in a way that makes him appear confident which causes him to become arrogant and selfish as well as causing him to hurt others who he feels are standing in his way of approval. He enjoys hurting others as thats what he's been encouraged to do, he's two faced because he feels he needs to be, he acts this way towards the world because he feels like no one will help him, they'll get in his way and turn their backs on him.

Michael:

Oh god there is a lot to talk about with Michael, he's probably the worst of them all. First off: He was willing to manipulate, torture and kill all for his families revenge, he really didn't need to but he felt it was necessary so he did. Secondly: He was very willing to sacrifice himself and almost did, he didn't care what happened to himself he only cared about his family. If he had to die for his father to get revenge then so be it, he'd happily do it. This has some concerning implications. Sure alot of people would say they'd die for their family but Michael actually went through with it and seemed very at peace with the idea, only hesitating because he has empathy for others and seemed more worried about them than he was himself. If he was so willing to die then whats going through his head? Is he really that loyal to his family or had he just given up? Onto the topic of the manipulation, torture and murder: Michael did not fucking hesitate to harm Astral and to manipulate Yuma's memories so that he wouldn't be able to duel anymore or remember his father which in turn caused Yuma to lose his spark. The moment Astral tried his best to help Yuma, Michael literally murdered him. Not even painlessly either, Astral was chained up, put through so much more pain than he would normally experiance, forced to watch his friend suffer and them put through even more pain before basically being crushed and disappearing, this was all done by Michael. He seems to have a similar situation to Thomas, wanting his fathers love and willing to do anything to get it, even harming others killing himself in the process. He just wants to make his father proud. Theres some really fucked up implications on whats going through Michael's head for him to be willing to hurt people when he seems to be extremely empathetic and kind as well as being willing to commit suicide.

All of them have issues and thoughts that would be brought on by neglect, manipulation and abuse, mainly neglect especially with Thomas.

The amount of abuse that these three have been put through is astounding, I'm surprised they're not more fucked up.

[amplifyme]

If you get this, answer w/ three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs. anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog!

:DDD

~ I experienced very intense episodes of ESP when I was a child. I often knew things were going to happen before they actually did. Enough so that my mom took me to a psychologist at one point. He attributed it to a heightened awareness of my surroundings and a strong sense of empathy and told my parents I'd grow out of it. He was partially right. I think all of us are born with those same gifts. It's life that beats it out of us.

~ I went to a different school every year from kindergarten until my sophomore year of high school. My father had an undiagnosed bi-polar disorder and was certain the grass was always greener somewhere else. So he moved us around a lot. By the time my parents split, we'd moved 18 times in the 24 years they were married. I got very good at saying good-bye and letting people go. Grief become my constant companion. I still haven't decided if that's a good thing or not.

~ I won a state-wide essay contest in seventh grade. The writing bug bit me not long after, but it was years before it actually coalesced into creating my own fiction.

Sorry for the serious bent this took; guess I'm doing a bit of navel-gazing tonight.

[jourquet]

for the 'get to know your fic writer' prompt — 3, 17, 43, & 56 🫶🏼

GET TO KNOW YOUR FIC WRITER PROMPT

3. describe the creative process if writing a chapter/fanfic

usually, i base it on the franchise's genre. for example a halo fanfic, i would follow science-fiction rules about writing the fanfic. such as long chapters, complex or expanded lore, military, politics, and so on.

i'll use maybe half a year studying the plot, characters, and lore. and game it myself if possible. just take my time to reflecting on how i interpret everything.

first at the third stage, i begin to talk to other people in fandon, read others fanfics and headcanons etc. without the groundwork, a proper fanfic can't be written. my spn fanfic readers knows this better than anyone.

i tend to mix half plotting and half pantsing the story with the three main plot not changing. the characters have normally free reign, i do not chain them down as long they get from plot point A to B.

17. what do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

i take a break from writing entirely. indulge in some other fanfics either in same fandom or others. sometimes i play games on my ps5. or watch documentaries, read books (usually classics), manga, cartoons or draw.

i sometimes take fanfics breaks by roleplaying online instead. that way, my writing skills remain sharp.

other times, i go on hikes or travels IRL. or go to the cinema, to the mall to buy stuff or just eat at Baker Brun (mini baker place).

i don't force my writing, ever. that only makes my block worse. i like to write out of habit; that's why i'm dependable about it when i've the energy capacity for it.

43. do you take a sadistic joy in whumping your characters, or are you more the "If you hurt them I would kill everyone and then myself" kind of person?

i do enjoy hurting my characters. i wouldn't have been known as 'the evil writer' without reason. though, for me, is more of a catharsis than actually sadistic enjoyment, because they reflect my own struggles most readers wouldn't pick up on unless i told them about it.

is for a reason my headcanons are rarely, if any, self-inserts. i like to stick to as close to canon as i possibly can. and if that means i've to write scenes the whole fandom will witch hunt me for, i'll. because i write my fanfics to be AS IF THEY WERE ACTUAL CANON from an outsider.

56. what’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

that my readers never in my full life of being a fanfic writer, have complained of my canon characters being ooc. that i've great unique concepts which i actually pull off and do my own research on (though, i still daydream of the day i get to have my own beta readers), and that i've no issue taking criticism about my writing and correct where necessary. only from trusted writer friends and readers, ONLY, however.

that my first two fanfics are completed with 50+ chapters. one of them with 13K reads on wattpad too. 🤍

the praise i've gotten from multiple native speakers over the years, that they could've never guessed i was not american or british because i write well enough to be considered as one of them. this means a lot to me, considering i'm mostly self-taught in english. used so many years reading books far above my age range not understanding anything, and barely passing my english grades. the constant judgement i got for not knowing how to write "i'm" or "you're". to now people sometimes asking me if i live in new york, texas, or london. 🥺 for most of my childhood most of the psychologists believed i had dyslexia too (i never did, i just learned to read by complete/recognize words instead of letter for letter, which was greek to me).

also that i combine my knowledge in classic books and the fact i understand many languages into my writing. it creates an unique writing no AI could ever dream about mimicking. is hard; but i always go the extra mile of deep research. my fanfics are meant to be read for anyone outside it too. and all the extra hours i spend just doing research so the characters feel like real human beings. it's worth it in the end.

and that through all my hardships, i found solace in my writing. i don't know who i would be without it. i found friends, i found community, i found people who genuinely care about me. all because i chose that one night on the plane trip from the US to norway, to learn english. i still have the book i read on that plane trip too ... that propelled to where i'm today in skills.

thank you, all my friends over the years. thank you, all my readers who has stuck by and never lost faith in me. thank you for everything. 🤍

[scribe-of-stories]

Get to know you tag game

Was tagged by my good friend @sunset-a-story; Y'all can call me Scribe!

Rules: use this picrew to make yourself and answer the questions.

(As it turns out Picrew does not like beards very much and I had a lot of trouble making anything that looked like me. Here's an older version of my avatar instead.)

three fun facts about me:

I have a small collection of medieval weaponry, with my favorite easily being the Halberd I have hanging in my room.

I am, officially, a Lord of Sealand.

I have been relatively consistently playing TTRPGs for about a decade now, and I am currently beta testing one created by my players and myself.

favorite season: Easily Winter, it's the only time of the year that doesn't try and melt me.

continent where i live: North America

how i spend my time: Professionally I am a psychologist, and might be going back to grad school to become a counselor. Unprofessionally I am a writer. I mainly write short stories based in a shared world called Lexical Earth (which also happens to be the setting of the TTRPG system being made); but I've been known to write the occasional fiction about a story that inspires me, or a game that I can't get my head out of.

are you published? Technically; I accidentally got one of my shorts published as part of some high school journal a long while ago.

introvert/extrovert: I'm a fairly charismatic introvert. Or maybe manic would be a better word? Either way, I need my alone time.

favorite meal: Fried Rice, can't get enough of that shit.

No pressure tagging: @yamiunicorn @captain-kraken

[ebiemidnightlibrarian]

Tagged by my beloved @raemoriendi, thanks 💜💜

1. Are you named after anyone?

Not that I know of, my parents chose my name for its meaning in Hebrew, it's a variation of "Eloim", which literally means God. I used to not like my name very much, but I've learned to get along with it.

2. When was the last time you cried?

A couple of weeks ago I guess, it was mid an anxiety attack.

3. Do you have kids?

No, but at the moment I plan to have one child in the future, but I don't know, I might change my mind at some point.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

YES, much more than I should actually…

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

I did basketball for a while in middle school, haven't done anything since.

6. What's the first thing you notice about other people?

My psychologist told me I'm an "empath" because I have an ease in understanding how people feel. So I guess is their vibe and their moods.

7. What's your eye colour?

I have a pair of myopic dark browns, depending on the light they're a bit cinnamon-like

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I'm not the biggest fan of happy endings, I'm a fan of tragic endings lol so I think that puts me in the pan of horror movies, I particularly love them.

9. Any special talents?

I really don't know lol, I think maybe whistling, being able to identify a bass/baritone/tenor/countertenor voice just listening to it once and I think an eidetic memory…? I don't know if these things really count lol

10. Where were you born?

I was born in northeastern Brazil in a state called Pernambuco, and I am an advocate that it is the best state in the country ;)

11. What are your hobbies?

Writing fictional works (endless wips :,D), organizing lists of various types, making playlists with a very specific vibe, reading, being dragged into binge watching a whole show that i've just started, obsessing over something and only resting after having consumed EVERYTHING I could about.

12. Do you have any pets?

Four dogs that are the light of my life, Luna, Lucy, Branca and Cindy

13. How tall are you?

I'm a 5′5″ unhinged gremlin

14. Favorite subject in school?

I've always been very good at Portuguese (Grammar) and Writing, but Literature, English and Sociology have always been my favorites, it's not surprising I'm going to college to become an English teacher, and to have a Phd in Gothic literature (or Symbolist I'm still deciding)

15. Dream job?

I think I'm already chasing my dream one way or another, I've always liked teaching, but I've always wanted to teach at a college.

If it weren't for the money, I think I would have worked in a bookstore as a full-time librarian, I really loved that job, but the salary was barely enough to pay the rent. I think being a writer, like REALLY a writer, is a dream too… Maybe if I had some talent and didn't have stage fright being an actress might be cool as well lmao

15 mutuals:

non-pressure tags 💜

@chronic-ghost @aflockofbees @everythingbutresolved @girlwiththenegantattoo @apbajs @mysoftboybensolo @littleredwritingcat @womanhoodchronicles @charismat1c-megafauna @scuttle-buttle @purplelupins @spookyconsultingcriminal @ashton-slashton and if you saw this consider yourself tagged 💙

[aritheartist]

🦚 Desi Academia

Things you will relate to if you're into Desi Academia

Being fascinated by your family's history, tracing your lineage, and compiling a family history book to help future genealogy enthusiasts in your family.

Planning on having a whole section of your home dedicated to your family heirlooms when you're older.

Writing poetry for/drawing portraits of your one-sided romantic interest, but ending up revealing neither your objet d'art, nor your affection.

Museum dates >>>> (even though you don't actually go on any dates).

Finding niche blogs that talk about historical clothing in the sub-continent. (Any recommendations, please?)

Wanted to be either a psychologist, archeologist, or crime fiction writer at some point in your life.

Tried learning Urdu or Sanskrit. Most likely couldn't.

Lassi > Coke (tastier and healthier)

Having the capacity to spend hours admiring the same damn painting.

Having an unhealthy amount of interest in films and music that came out well before you were born.

Wished you could just leave everything behind and lead a simple life, grazing cattle in the mountains, humming a mellow tune.

Never miss a historical film. Mughal-e-Azam? Jodhaa Akbar? Bajirao Mastani? You've seen them all. More than once, to say the least.

Scented candles are your elixir.

Been waiting for quality desi anime and webtoons practically all your life.

You're very invested in the academia aesthetic but dgaf about your actual academics.

Whenever you hear semi-classical music, you start fantasizing about being a courtesan performing in front of the ruler, and who then falls in love with you (or something else along the same lines).

Amar Chitra Katha comics are to be credited for making you this way. It was Desi Academia before DA was a thing.

You've read everything from Chanakya's Arthashastra to Sun Tzu's The Art of War, hoping to become an ingenious leader but irl you're still a backbencher with stage fright.

You like wearing traditional attire on your birthday.

Multani mitti and aloe vera over chemical face packs ANY DAY!

"I am not dil phaink, I'm just highly appreciative of beauty." 🥺👉👈 (guilty 🤚)

[slightlyrebelliouswriter23]

hey so i'm hoping to get some writing advice about creative burnout? like i seem to write in fits and spurts. some months i can churn out a oneshot or chapter everyday and some months i can do one (1) creative thing only. so i'm wondering how to prevent creative burnout and how to just create more smoothly <3 thank you!

Creative Burnout & How To Ward Against It

First, I’d like to preface this all by saying you’re definitely not alone. You probably already know this, but sometimes it’s nice to be reminded.

I know from personal experience that creative burnout can leave you feeling hopeless, detached from yourself—the kind of identity crisis no one needs in 2020. 

So buckle in, folks. It’s a dosy.

I. The Symptoms

Not to be the local WebMD page here, but signs of burnout can include:

Procrastination (more than usual)

Dreading writing and feeling stuck or overly perfectionistic when you try

Physical tiredness and/or irritability

Feeling like everything is monotonous

It’s more than just writer’s block. It’s a physical and emotional exhaustion response to something that goes deeper than a simple lack of inspiration. In my experience, and from a bit of research, I’ve found that what your brain is really looking for is dopamine.

Dopamine is essentially your brain’s chemical reward system for doing something interesting or exciting to you. As someone who is diagnosed with ADHD, I have chronically low levels of dopamine, so this is a constant struggle for me—but it is absolutely made worse by creative burnout.

II. The Problem

Studies have shown that the more we do A Thing the less that thing will give us dopamine (unless a component of the activity changes regularly). This is because eventually our brains desensitise to the stimuli provided by the activity, and subsequently, we become disengaged.

But it’s not necessarily The Thing (i.e. writing) that becomes boring. Actually, more than a few factors could be at play here, and the first step to finding a solution is to identify the problem.

1. ENVIRONMENT LACKS EXCITEMENT/CHANGE—

Sometimes, the monotony of everyday life can feed creative burnout. This becomes especially applicable in quarantine when you’re not leaving your house.

What we don’t realise is that even something as small as the variables of driving to and from work, or interacting with passing coworkers, gives us dopamine. So if you have the same routine every day that does not involve any added variables, your brain will begin staunching that dopamine supply.

2. EITHER TOO EASY OR TOO CHALLENGING—

In 1975, Hungarian-American psychologist, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, coined the term “flow”, which refers to a heightened state of creativity and concentration on an activity. Csikszentmihalyi posited that if your skill level is equal to the level of challenge in any given activity, you will experience this state of flow.

The chart below is taken from Csikszentmihalyi’s own study on the subject of flow and motivation. It examines “your skill level” on the x axis in relation to the “challenge level” on the y axis.

Essentially:

Too much challenge + not enough skill = anxiety, worry (which might lead to procrastination and perfectionism)

Too much skill + not enough challenge = boredom, apathy (which might lead to monotony, irritability, and other depression-like symptoms)

Skill level = Challenge level = Flow

3. NOT ENOUGH “ACTIVE” STIMULATION—

When it comes to dopamine seeking, there is a distinct difference between active and passive stimulation in the brain.

Active stimulation is any form of activity that you have to actively engage in. For instance; exercising, doing a crossword puzzle, or reading a book. These kinds of activities not only give you dopamine, they also facilitate critical thinking and problem solving thought processes, which act as catalysts for creativity.

Passive stimulation, on the other hand, comes in the form of television, social media, and YouTube. It’s anything you can consume without having to actively engage. Passive stimulation will indeed give your brain dopamine, however, it won’t activate your creativity.

The problem also lies in the speed at which you receive the dopamine from passive activities. Passive stimulation is so easy to access that the more you consume, the harder it becomes to pick up active stimulation. Your brain expects a hit of dopamine just by picking up a phone or turning on the TV—it becomes addicted to the quick fix of a Netflix binge.

III. The Solutions

Based on the problems mentioned above, I am going to list a few solutions. Keeping in mind that not every solution will work for everyone, these can act as both preventative measures and remedies for someone who is currently burned out.

1. CHANGE UP YOUR ENVIRONMENT/ROUTINE—

Aim to do at least one thing per day that will add “variables” to the monotony. This can be as simple as going on a long walk, dressing up in that bold outfit you always wanted to wear to the office but never did, or sitting at a different workspace in your home.

Anything you can do that’s simple, but might provide an extra variable to your day to spice things up. Note: this shouldn’t be the same thing every day.

2. CHALLENGE YOURSELF MORE—

If you find yourself bored by your work, try challenging yourself more. This could mean setting goals for yourself that go a bit beyond what you’ve been doing. 

For example, if you’ve been writing 500 words per day, see if you can beat your own word count every day for the next week. If you’ve been writing mainly fluff pieces, switch it up and do an angst piece. See if you can write a book in a month, or start a blog where you don’t write fiction at all!

Anything you can do to add a little kick to your workload. Note: Beware of challenging yourself too much! This can lead straight back into burnout.

3. CHALLENGE YOURSELF LESS—

If you’re on the flip side of that coin, and find that you are anxious, procrastinating, and perfectionistic when it comes to writing, fret not. Just because you’re experiencing any of these things, doesn’t mean you’re incapable of doing the job with your skillset.

It just means your perception of the job needs to be shifted.

Procrastination, at its heart, is a fear of failure, which results in actively avoiding the negative emotions associated with the task that causes this fear. Perfectionism is a type of procrastination that is a combination of a fear of failure and a fear of success (or, more accurately, other’s critiques of your success) all at once.

Neither have anything to do with your actual skillset, but they have everything to do with your perception of your skillset. Obviously, this is a harder thing to fix, as it has to do with deeply ingrained levels of self-esteem.

What I can offer you is a tactic to trick your mind into thinking you’re capable.

If you have a task, big or small, and you are feeling overwhelmed by it (like you might go curl up in bed and scroll Tumblr), immediately break that task up into smaller tasks. Keep breaking up the smaller tasks until you have the smallest possible part of the bigger task without doing nothing.

Then do that smallest possible thing.

If your goal is to write a 2000 word one shot, a small part of that task is writing half of it. An even smaller part of that task is breaking the one shot up into “scenes” and writing one scene. For instance:

Jude wakes up to a sore throat, a runny nose, and a fever.

She tries to go to work, but Cardan, being the mother hen that he is, threatens to never make her another grilled cheese sandwich (her favourite food) ever again if she doesn’t stay home.

Jude agrees begrudgingly, and Cardan sits her down in front of the TV with a bottle of Gatorade. He leaves to go get medicine from the store.

When Cardan comes back, Jude is worse than before. He makes her soup and saltine crackers and spoon feeds her.

She complains the whole time and, in her feverish state, threatens to never buy him another bottle of wine (his favourite food) ever again if he doesn’t let her feed herself.

Each bullet point represents one “scene” of about 200-400 words each. Obviously, there will be more details that you work out as you write. But with these five smaller scenes, your goal is no longer writing the 2000 word one shot. Your goal is writing the first of the five scenes.

If you complete the smallest possible task, you can stop, and you’ll still feel like you’ve accomplished something because you can cross off that task from your list. But chances are, by the time you cross off one task, you may have inspiration enough to keep going.

4. ENGAGE IN ACTIVE STIMULATION—

Since active stimulation has been proven to turn on the creative “tap”, try incorporating more of these activities into your daily routine:

Exercise: As the resident couch potato, I hate to say that exercising is good for creativity, but it is. Even if it’s just going on a short walk, so long as you’re moving.

Reading: Sometimes you have plenty of ideas, but no words to fit those ideas. Fill your well of words by carving out an hour or two each day for reading a good book.

The Creative Process: In the writing world, the creative process is a process of about 20-30 minutes that the writer partakes in every day before they start writing. This process should be creative, but also have nothing to do with writing. You can try colouring in a colouring book, painting, organising a page in your bullet journal. Anything that is creative but does not make you think about everything you have to do that day. Think of it as creative meditation.

Listen to music: Having APD, I personally can’t listen to music while I write. However, studies have shown that if you listen to at least ten songs per day, it will significantly benefit your dopamine levels and overall mood. If you’re like me and prefer to work in silence, maybe stick on a couple songs during your creative process. If you can manage music and writing together, get out those headphones!

5. KEEP A REGULAR SCHEDULE—

I know this is the most cliche point in the book, but it’s valid. This doesn’t mean do the same thing at the same time every day over and over, because ultimately we’re looking to avoid monotony. 

But having pillars of structure to bolster the excitement can definitely work to keep you from slipping into burnout. Going to sleep, waking up, and having your meals at relatively the same time every day are good examples of this. 

Feel free to change up the things you do between breakfast and lunch, but make sure you have those pillars of consistency so your brain knows that a break is on the horizon and doesn’t get tired.

6. PACE YOURSELF—

This is particularly difficult for those of us who are coming out of a creative burnout, but I urge you to pay special attention to this one. If we are suddenly hit by inspiration and the writing is flowing and flowing and flowing, eventually we will hit the point of highest dopamine capacity for writing.

Not putting a check on the flood of inspiration coming out of a creative burnout, I’d argue, is actually a guarantee that many of us will experience burnout all over again. It becomes this vicious cycle in which we are trapped.

While it feels great to write non-stop and receive immediate validation for that work, try to limit yourself to how much you’re writing and how immediately you post your writing (if you plan on posting it).

Whenever I finish a one shot or a chapter of something, I like to allow at least one day for editing before I post. This timeframe is important, because it acts as a buffer of rest between writing marathons. 

You can take however long you need for the editing process, but definitely make sure you have a set amount of time in place. Otherwise, your brain might not have enough time to come down from what is essentially a writing high, and you will always need to reach greater heights in order to achieve that same level of dopamine.

~~~~

Overall, the most important things to take away from all of this are: 

Change up your environment

Keep your brain actively stimulated 

Have pillars of structure between which you can run about chaotically to your heart’s content

PACE YOURSELF!

Hope this helped. Happy writing!

-Em 🖤🗡

Writing Tip Masterlist

Fic Masterlist

Celebrate 2K with me!

[the-cult-of-russo]

okokokokok so I'm watching season 2 of the punisher and I legit do not think I can finish bc I Don't Like seeing this billy bc like. he should be getting help but they made him a bad guy and like yeah. they did it for the plot but BrOoOoO me no likey ugh

I won't lie, unhinged Billy fascinates me as a writer. He's so dramatic and chaotic too, like the heist scene and stuff and I love it. I love writing him that way too, it's really fun. Like as a fictional character, his mind is so interesting and hopping into that version of Billy is a trip.

But like on a real level, it was painful to watch and the whole thing with Krista made me so fucking pissed lmao

You guys know I have so many issues with canon and if you guys want me to get fully into it, I could make a whole ass essay length post about it with my thoughts 😂

But despite that, I was really kinda hoping for some kind of redemption arc, even just a little. But no.

Season 2 was weird for me because as someone on the way to becoming a clinical psychologist, season 2 Billy was really interesting and Ben played him so fucking good. Like holy shit. But it was uncomfortable to watch for me and so much of it pissed me off. Like the boy is riddled with trauma and shit and his fucking psychologist was taking advantage of him and stuff and I just... 😑

I'm gonna drop a bomb on you guys right now 'cause I don't think I've ever told you this...

I've never watched the last episode.

I know what happens and I've seen gifs and pictures and stuff but I couldn't ever bring myself to watch that episode because it made me so fucking sad knowing what happens. I spoiled the show for myself by accident which is how I found out what happens and then I was like nahhhh, I'm good.

I also don't know the full story, 'cause like I've only seen this on someone else's post once and I might be remembering this wrong, but Ben wasn't happy with Billy's original last line and either came up with or asked them to change it to what it ended up being. Like I said, I might be remembering this wrong and you guys are more into Ben than I am, I'm a Billy girl lmao, but like I'm sure it was something to do with alluding to him feeling some level of guilt? Just something small because the original line was that shit. Like I know I've seen that quote from an interview somewhere or something on someone's post.

I don't know what his last lines are cause I never watched it. I'm not sure I want to know honestly.

There's a lot of canon bullshit regarding Billy that really pisses me off which is why I prefer AU things and I've made my own version of Billy where he doesn't betray Frank and can actually get a happy ending.

The thing with media is, they often like to use mental illness and trauma for the villains. It makes them 'scarier', right? Oooh, the unhinged bad guy. And that's something that's always bugged me. As someone with serious mental health issues, someone with family who have very severe mental health issues and someone who wants to treat and help people with severe mental health issues, the media portrayal of these things are so harmful, especially to people with certain illnesses where there is already stigma surrounding it.

And I get it, they do it for the plot and all of that, but it's a trope that needs looking into more. Someone doing bad shit because of trauma or mental illness, someone who maybe doesn't really fully comprehend their actions or isn't in their right mind, is a lot less scary to me than a completely fine and mentally well person choosing to do the same things without a care.

Don't get me wrong, it can be interesting to watch these things and in some cases when done tastefully it can be done well. But more often than not, they just slap a bad guy with trauma or mental illness and that's just the reason for their actions.

Honestly, I'm going off on a tangent here. Like I said, I could make a huge ass post about my thoughts on Billy and the canon bullshit and another about this specific issue in the media. I'm gonna stop here because this post is long enough lmao

The short version of this is;

As a writer and future clinical psychologist, season 2 Billy fascinates me and I enjoy diving into his head (I explore it in my multi chap fic that's coming soon that I wrote with @blanchedelioncourt ) but on a fundamental level, it made me really uncomfortable and sad to watch someone who clearly needs help just get manipulated and not get the help they need. The treatment of him is just explained as 'oh well, he did really bad things so he doesn't deserve help' and I don't like that. I don't like that Dinah harasses him in the hospital, I don't like the way fucking Krista manipulates him. I don't like any of it. So while that version of Billy is interesting to me and being in his head and writing him fascinates me, the canon bullshit is painful to watch.

[thewritershelpers]

Hi, how are you doing? I'm writing a story about a kidnapping but I'm planning on having some Stockholm Syndrome involved with it. Do you have any tips on writing a character gaining Stockholm Syndrome?

I don’t know if you’re ready to hear this but: Stockholm Syndrome is not a term recognized by the APA, as in, a large portion of trained psychologists don’t see it as a real phenomenon or as a particularly valid one (American Psychological Association) ((The American Psychological Association is the largest scientific and professional organization of psychologists in the United States, with over 121,000 members, including scientists, educators, clinicians, consultants, and students. This doesn’t make it perfect but it is often an excellent source for psychological questions/issues.)) (((you know APA style, for citations and stuff? Yeah, that came from them)))

Yeah, I said that. You want to know why? Because the majority of what people think is Stockholm Syndrome is thanks to a lot of media and very little science. Let me tell you a story: an escaped convict decides to rob a bank, take a few hostages, and demand the release of a buddy. The police in Stockholm, Sweden, say nope, we’ll outwait you (and/or potentially risk the hostages’ well-being). This lasts for 6 days, and when 1 of the 4 hostages is on the phone with the Prime Minister, she quite literally says “I fully trust [convict]...I am not desperate. They haven’t done a thing to us. On the contrary, they have been very nice. But, you know, Olof, what I am scared of is that the police will attack and cause us to die.”

Yeah, she said that. She was one of three women being held hostage, with one man. They all shared accounts of their captor being kind and consoling, despite the fact that, y’know...he had caused all this.

Fast forward to the next year, as people are reporting on it and studying it, and you’ve got a (male) psychologist associating their reactions and relationship with their captor to what is commonly seen in “victims of the shock of war”. The term Stockholm Syndrome is coined, more or less in an attempt to understand why 3 women and 1 man might be more amicable towards their captor (who treated them well) than the police who endangered their lives during the entire ordeal. 

“The hostages’ seemingly irrational attachment to their captors perplexed the public and the police, who even investigated whether Enmark had plotted the robbery with Olofsson. The captives were confused, too. The day following her release, Oldgren asked a psychiatrist, “Is there something wrong with me? Why don’t I hate them?”” continues the article from History.com.

SO long story short: what you think you know to be Stockholm Syndrome is almost undoubtedly inaccurate and fictional. Their reaction is most definitely not normal, but it was not also some crazy captive-love-induced phenomenon. That idea came into being later on with a couple different abduction stories I’m not going to get into.

What most psychologists do relate Stockholm Syndrome to most is the experience of POWs who begin to associate their well-being with their captors not being as bad as they could have been. It has to do with a captor threatening their life and then deciding not to hurt/kill them, which sparks an overwhelming sense of gratitude and attachment. Is it inherently romantic? For the most part, nope. 

So, if you’re writing a character with elements of Stockholm Syndrome, what you want to keep in mind is this: there needs to be a real, valid threat from the captor/abductor. They have to have all the control and power in this situation. They then, for whatever reason, decide not to enact that threat. Whoever has been captured must FIRST experience gratitude, gratitude born from a survival instinct, not a romantic one. After all, it’s basically an abusive relationship that starts off obviously, glaringly wrong; “Victims live in enforced dependence and interpret rare or small acts of kindness in the midst of horrible conditions as good treatment. They often become hypervigilant to the needs and demands of their captors, making psychological links between the captors’ happiness and their own” according to Encyclopedia Britannica. And then, what really cinches it as “Stockholm Syndrome” is the negative attitude towards the “rescuers” or authorities that threaten the balance of the captive-captor experience. 

I hope that helps and didn’t rock your boat too much. With this understanding of Stockholm Syndrome, you kind of have to ask--is Beauty and the Best actually an example of it? I would personally argue that Tangled, and the relationship between Rapunzel and Mother Gothel, has more accurate elements of Stockholm Syndrome, if only because of the power imbalance there that doesn’t exactly exist with Belle and the Beast. But that’s a post for another day.

-S

[mystewion]

I’d love to hear more about the stuff you talked about here!

i don't want to go into too much depth here for personal reasons as well as the fact that many young people follow me... but the gist of it is this:

what i was trying to say in regards to the "uncomfortable implications" surrounding (fictional or nonfictional) childrens' worth based on their innocence/naivety/etc, is that there is an incredibly uncomfortable amount of value placed on the developmental time in a child's life in which they start understanding difficult and nuanced (oftentimes "adult") concepts, whether through learning about them at school, experiencing them first or secondhand in some way, or stumbling across references to them somewhere.

i'm referring specifically to things like sexual education, death, belief in magic/holiday figures, etc... concepts that can be difficult to process for some children but come to terms with as you get older. of course, for many children these aren't things they learn about in a safe, responsible environment - children living in poverty, in areas devastated by war, living among violent or abusive members of their family or community are forced to come to terms with these kind of things far earlier than children whose caretakers are able to shelter them from knowledge and try to preserve their "ignorance" for as long as possible. now i hope it goes without saying, i'm by no means condeming people for trying to protect their children and the young people in their lives from violent or traumatic experiences. i don't think advocating for internet safety and filtering nsfw from children is by any means a bad thing to do.

i do, however, find it really weird and kind of upsetting how a lot of adults talk about children's innocence, as if when a child begins to understand complicated topics or experience something that in some way leads them to having a less optimistic and more "adult" perspective, it's a negative thing that detracts some amount of worth from that child. i was trying to find sources to cite here because i don't really like writing paragraphs and paragraphs about topics like children's psychology without having references from actual child psychologists, but what i found was mountains and mountains of journalism about how sacred and beautiful children are for believing in santa and not knowing what sex is.

i know this isn't just an internet trend, because i have to deal with and reprimand adults i have encountered for sharing similar beliefs - mainly because the intensity and fanaticism some adults go to feels often like it borders on some sort of fetish. often times, this isn't even the case - lots of adults (and older teens) are just projecting their own complex, personal feelings about finding growing up difficult in unproductive ways because they don't realize they're placing an absurd amount of responsibility on children to never grow up.

now in fandom what i'm referring to isn't quite as detrimental as adults telling children to "stay children and never grow up" or whatever other strange and otherwise misplaced sort of way they are trying to tell kids not to give into nihilism and become jaded. in fandom, specifically south park fandom, what it looks like is fans debating which characters are the "kindest, purest babies"... which of the kids is "a sweet cinnamonroll" which is a "sinamonroll" which, i think also goes without saying, carries it's own negative implications (sinful = something that can detract from another character's "sweetness").

the two characters i see this the most with are kenny (not innocent by fandom standards) and butters (innocent? by fandom standards). there's a really great essay about how south park talks about childhood and innocence in "the deep end of south park" called "among school children": lacan and the south park felt board lesson set by james r. keller, which talks about how south park addresses an age old moral panic among white, suburban parents to shelter their children from knowledge about the world and scorn children who have been "tainted" by the same concepts i mentioned previously. what i find really interesting about that essay is how it defines "innocence" in children, as something very violent and animal-like, rather than a sense of almost theistic, emotional purity. when i say violent and animal-like, i mean how we don't consider cats "tainted" because they chase and kill mice, we don't think dogs are "evil" when they stop being puppies and need to get fixed.

the essay, in so many words (i'm very much paraphrasing here because i haven't had a chance to read over it in awhile and the process of getting access to is a little complicated), says the ways in which children are "innocent" is similar to animals in how they will be violent with each other or with living things, in a way that adults would never associate with the kind of purity that our concepts of innocence often implies. the kids of south park are absolutely brutal with each other! each and every one of them! they hurt each other, they kick puppies, they poke fun at sex and war and politics because all of those things have touched their lives in some way.

i don't think anyone really means harm by it when they get into debates every month about who among their favorite characters is the most "pure and innocent". what i'm trying to warn people about here is that in a fandom where a massive portion of the fanbase is people under the age of 15, and the majority of the characters people project onto and have blogs devoted to are under 13, we need to be more careful about how we discuss sensitive topics that are already complicated enough for kids to work through with the way a lot of adults can inflict their own emotional hangups about the complexities of getting older on them. as an adult who spent a significant part of my childhood and all of my teenage life on the internet, i for one can definitely say those kind of posts made me feel confused, a little hurt in ways that were hard to navigate, and like i had something significantly wrong with me because of factors outside of my control. that's really all i'm trying to convey here, haha. sorry this got so long-winded! i just wanted to try and explain myself properly. thanks for asking for clarification!

[lixnininotnay]

■ LIXNI'S ARCHIVES

𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬: Closed.

Getting myself ready.

I'm taking books recommendations.

𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬:

𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬: All the mistakes you made (A Yandere!Hank J. Wimbleton X Reader Story).

𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭.

i. about me

Greetings, and welcome to my blog! You all can call me Lixni, Mad or Morgana, I go by she/her pronouns, but I don't think I would mind if somebody use any other. I'm really social awkward and timid even in the internet, and being a straightforward to avoid weird situations, I have social anxiety and autism, so sorry if I end up being weird or sounding rude, it wasn't my intention. But it would be lovely to meet and talk to some of you.

My favorite aesthetic is dark academia, I love to draw, to read, anime(my favorite is Violet Evergarden), pink, coffee, tea, and I'm trying to get myself back on writing. Sometimes I have a hard time to understand jokes and take a lot of time to write because I try to over analyze everything, so please be patient. For now I only write for a few fandoms, but I'll be adding more as the time pass and if you don't like a certain one I recommend blocking the tag(it also goes to the yandere and dark themes ones). Oh! I will also show my oc's here! They may appear in some stories and I will post about them from time to time.

In first hand, I was planning to make this blog yandere-only, I think terror and those characters are interesting and I want to go deeper on how they act, besides the fact I like to explore insanity and declining mental health in my creations. I don't romanticize them or any of the things they do, but I don't judge if you like them, as long it's fictional.

But I will write non-yandere too so I get out of my comfort zone and free my hopeless romantic self. I really need to learn how to express myself better and I want to practice so maybe I become a writer in the future.

And if you're trying to look for some specific fanfic but can't find the fandom Masterlist, try looking in the 'Lixni's Divine Purgatory' one.

ii. fandoms

⌦ Friday night funkin'

⌦ Madness combat

iii. what I write + rules

⌦ Headcanons (the max is 3 characters per ask), drabbles, interactions, one-shots and stories(the last one I am going to write more seldom compared to others).

⌦ Yandere and non-yandere.

⌦ Romantic and platonic.

⌦ I am not going to write: Non SFW, character x character, poly, children (unless it's platonic, but not yandere), a/b/o, platonic yandere, pregnancy, mythical creatures(vampires, demons and angels are okay depending on the fandom), anything that involves the reader being not real or things like that.

⌦ Neutral and female reader(when it's female I will tell in the title).

⌦ I have the right to refuse any requests. Spamming, hate messages and complaining only will you get you blocked.

⌦ I take my own time when writing, no rushing.

⌦ I can't write:

▪︎ Trans!reader(I'm not trans and to be honest, I don't understand the concept of gender, so, sorry).

▪︎Specific body type.

▪︎Mental illness or disorders, beacause:

I'm not a psychiatrist/psychologist/professional of any sort. I search some occassionally, but probably I won't get it right.

Even if I have some of them, every disorder can act different in each person, I'm not going tell everything I have, but for example, I have autism and don't feel comfortable with visual contact, but there are autistic people who are ok with it.

⌦ If you really have the necessity of some comfort, like a emergency, put '🏵' at the end of your requests and I will try to get it done as fast as possible. It's for the ones who need it. If I notice any 'smarty' is doing this just because they want their request quick and not because they need it, you're getting blocked.

vi. anon list

(Please choose an emoji or nickname and tell your pronouns if you want to be an Anon)

Love y'all! ❤

┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓

 Runing fandoms since

August 11, 2021...

┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛

[moonlightserenadeeznutz]

Hey there! Could you do Rose Weasley headcanons. I mean, I'm a Scorose shipper, but I know you're not comfortable, so maybe by herself? Or Rose X OC?

Of course, I’d love to! And while Scorose is a little out of my comfort zone, I don’t mind writing some headcanons for you!

Rose Weasley Headcanons

Favourite subject is transfiguration. Her and McGonagall get along very well, and it isn’t uncommon for Rose to make excuses in order to sit in McGonagall’s office, eating a biscuit and talking about her studies. McGonagall pretends to go along with the excuses, but secretly she knows that Rose just wants to sit with her, and McGonagall doesn’t mind one bit.

Isn’t very interested in watching Quidditch, however she does love to play it, and becomes chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch team in her fifth year. Ron is very proud, and he and Hermione come to watch every game. It isn’t difficult to spot Ron, cheering her on at the top of his lungs, waving a Gryffindor banner above his head.

Definitely has a cat, which follows her everywhere. She’s often by the Gryffindor fireplace with the cat purring next to her, reading (she reads, not the cat).

Really likes muggle literature, especially fiction (non-fiction wise, she prefers wizarding books). Her favourite book is A Room With a View by E.M. Forster.

Screw it, the cat’s name is Forster.

Is very interested in psychology, and despairs at how little the wizarding world seems to take it seriously. With help from her parents, she decides to continue her education after Hogwarts and studies psychology at a muggle university, and goes on to be an acclaimed psychologist for wizarding patients, as well as works to improve the attitude towards mental health in the wizarding world.

Deaf in one ear and wears a bright green hearing aid. It’s a random headcanon, but I quite like it. Encourages her to learn sign language, which she enjoys teaching to Scorpius (when she starts growing closer to him).

Bit of a history nerd, and manages to strike up a rapport with every ghost in Hogwarts. She’s the only student that Helena Ravenclaw will talk to.

I get the vibe that she’d play an instrument like the flute or the harp.

Definitely speaks French; she asked Fleur to teach her. I feel like she’s a language person, so she probably speaks a couple of languages, like Italian- inspired as she was by A Room With a View, and no I’m not projecting my love for this book onto her). She also probably knows a more rare language too, like Irish.

Is a bit of a budding photographer, though not muggle photography. She loves moving pictures, and the memories that each one holds. She regularly walks around Hogwarts with a camera round her neck.

Likes jazz. ( y a l i k e j a z z ?)

Scorose Headcanons

Pretends to disapprove of Scorpius when she first meets him, but is really trying to hide the fact that she thinks he’s cute, and she regrets rejecting his offering of sweets on the train ride to Hogwarts.

Her pretence starts to falter a little, especially when they keep running into each other in the library. Rose ignores him at first, but after a while they start to sit nearer and nearer, and sometimes she asks about what Scorpius is reading, and vice versa, until they start to converse with each other, and Rose opens up to him more. Eventually it turns into a routine, sitting together in the library. Scorpius loves to hear Rose talk about all the stuff she’s learnt in her psychology books, and she gives him a copy of A Room With a View to read, which he enjoys very much, least of all because he know how much it means to her.

The year they leave Hogwarts Scorpius takes her to Italy and they wander around the cities with nothing but an 1800s Baedeker, so naturally they get lost, but that’s all part of the fun. They spend the entire day wandering around streets and discovering all the obscure nooks and crannies of the area.

Picnic in the Italian countryside watching the sun set is all I’m going to say.

Scorpius is very supportive of Rose going to university. He packs her lunch for the day and sends her little notes, and listens to what she learnt in her lectures.

They have like five cats I don’t even care.

Scorpius also goes to every Gryffindor Quidditch game when Rose is playing and cheers her on. Even if it’s against Slytherin, he’ll hold up both Slytherin and Gryffindor flags and if Rose scores a goal you bet he’s gonna be cheering, completely ignoring the looks he gets from his Slytherin classmates.

Rose uses her knowledge of psychology to help with Scorpius’s anxiety, and in fact it was one of the things that got her particularly interested in psychology anyway. She wanted to help Scorpius, and in turn, wanted to help other witches and wizards.

They definitely get a little flat together, somewhere in the city, and Rose probably gets a muggle job as a barista to help pay for university, because she’s not keen on asking her family to pay the full amount. Scorpius always gets coffee where she works, just to flirt with her; pretending that they’re not already a couple.

[sparkles-and-trash]

Thank you, THANK YOU for writing your post on pro-shipping. As a child, I was abused in every way a child could be until I escaped at age 18. I write rape and problematic relationships (which often become more healthy with time) as a way to cope and survive. My psychologist is supportive of what I do. He honestly is surprised I'm even able to function at all given what I've lived through.

I am in a Fandom that I love that has so many antis that it's frankly soul crushing. I'd leave if it wasn't so dear to my heart. So I hide and hurt while people say horrible things about me that are flat out disgusting and untrue.

Reading your post made me cry (literally). Knowing that others understand the pain and are supportive means the world to me. I don't understand how these people can equate reality to fantasy. I mean, why don't they go after murder mystery writers if they think that way?

Sorry for writing anon. I've seen too many screenshots get out for me to risk using my name. It's not that I think you'd hang me out to dry, it's just I've been through too much to blindly trust people. If you'd like to talk further, just make a post. (If you don't, that's cool too!)

Hey friend <3 

First of all, thank you for being so vulnerable and honest with me. I’m terribly sorry for what you’ve gone trough, and so, so proud and happy that you made it out, and are still around today. 

On the topic of writing/about trauma to cope, I know for a fact that it’s something multiple professionals recommend. It’s not for everyone, everyone’s story and trauma and coping is different, but as long as people who do write it tag and spoiler it so nobody who doesn’t wanna find it stumbles upon it, I think it’s wonderful that people have ways to deal and cope with trauma that helps. 

I’m really dodgy about calling myself anything in these terms, because I don’t longer know what things really mean, and saying I’m pro-ship feels scary knowing people think that is “supporting p*dos and in*est”, which sounds like they’re talking about actual harmful things that happen irl and not just words on a page about a non-existing person that hurts no one, and I would hate for things to get spread around that’s not true, and the be a target for harassment, so I try to avoid using any of those terms? 

I would call myself anti-harassment, pro-kindness, pro-using your brain and being critical before you engage with content that might upset you, anti-putting fictional people’s health and happiness over real people, I guess. 

If you ever feel comfortable or need it, my DM’s are open, and I will not tell anyone who you are, you can be totally anonymous if you want. I’m always here to talk! 

This actually goes for everyone, if you need someone to talk to, or have questions about something I’ve said, or if you want to tell me something I did or wrote upset you, or if you wanna just say hi, my asks and DM’s are always open, and I’m always interested in hearing how I can help, in any way. 

[sometimesrosy]

I somewhat have a plot for this story in my head. I actually talked to you about it, about like space chronicles following the life of a soldier, etc. Anyways, I have the beginning for this one chronicle, the end, some stuff in the middle BUT some things are still blank in the plot. When I'm writing, even with a full plot outlined, I always end up having a million ideas and changing stuff and adding stuff, etc. So I don't know why I'm so "afraid" or starting writing this one :/

Because it’s scary to start, to commit to it. Because if you put it down on paper, it’s REAL. If it’s REAL, it can be bad, wrong, no good and a failure. Or maybe because you’re afraid of committing all that time and energy into doing something you truly want to do. It’s scary to go after your dreams. It’s scary to value yourself enough to say, YES I AM A WRITER, and then go ahead and prove it.

Because what if you aren’t? What if you’re going down a path that leads to failure and disasters and loss of your dreams because you are wrong wrong wrong and a terrible writer to boot. Because the fear is that if you put yourself out there, the evidence will be clear. You suck. Then what?

OKAY.

That is terrifying!!!!

So let’s just sit with that for a minute.

If I commit to writing, I might be proven a failure at this goal I’ve held so long.

What’s the worst case scenario if you put this down on paper? You will actually be proven Bad, with a capital B. What would you do if that happens? 

Now’s the time to figure that out. If I am bad at this, what will happen? 

Will you give up writing? Give up your dream? Listen, I’ve known MANY people who have give up writing, and while they may wish they hadn’t, they have had completely fulfilling lives without it. Most young people who want to be writers actually DO give up writing. They generally move on to other things. I know one who is a psychologist. He uses those character building skills to help people. I know quite a few who became teachers. I know a chef. I know a hairdresser. I know some stay at home moms. I know a bunch of bloggers. Someone who works in a museum. A gardener. I know a bunch of people who just write for fun now. I know some who have retired and taken up poetry because it makes them happy.

So what if you discover you are “not meant” to be a writer? Not much, really. None of us are required to write. You have the freedom to let it go. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. Creativity is amazing and you respond to that, but there are a million ways to be creative, or to use words, or to engage in story, or to get lost in your head, or to enjoy yourself. You are NOT limited. 

So, I’m actually going to give you permission to decide, if that is what is right for you, to give up writing, if writing doesn’t fulfill you the way you want it to. If you don’t think you are good enough.

Giving up is an option and no one is hurt in the process.

HOWEVER.

I also give you permission to be FULLY AWFUL at writing, and to keep it up. To keep trying. To write your horrendous horrible space soldier story with the mess of the middle, EVEN if it turns out bad. Or middling. Or good but not as good as you want. 

And if it does turn out to be unsatisfying, I give you permission to keep working on it until it is good enough. Or I give you permission to drop it, stuff it in your trunk, as is the tradition of writers to do, and never show it to anyone or publish it or whatever. Ask writers about their trunk novels. It’s part of being a writer. 

Even if you write something that is not worthy (in your opinion) of being published, the ACT of writing a novel all the way to completion will be a master’s class in how to write a novel. There is NO way to learn how to write a novel other than ACTUALLY WRITING A NOVEL.

I have written novels that utterly failed. I have written stories that I won’t go back to because they are so awful! I have written novels that were such a mess I gave up on them half way through. I have written novels that continued 150k and then into a sequel of 80k and into the plans of a third, before I realized they weren’t working. And trunked them. 

And then went back to them. And thought about the world and the concepts and developed a NEW novel as a kind of prequel to them, that I went ahead and finished at 120k, and am now moving into the THIRD draft for. I have it open on another tab, actually. And am currently facing the fear of tackling that challenge and procrastinating. 

Ah. Wait. What? 

I have failed in my stories and been an awful writer and continue to be afraid of facing the page for THIRTY YEARS.

And yet.

I’m still writing.  I have one finished contemporary fantasy that I am ready to find a manuscript for. One finished space opera that I am starting 3rd drafts on. One finished first draft of another space opera with a witch as a mc. One finished first draft of a space colony and her various unfinished sequels. I have one finished first draft of a magical realism novel that I trunked, but could probably continue if I felt like going back to literary fiction instead of SFF. And I have INNUMERABLE unfinished drafts of novels and stageplays and screenplays going back to when I was 15. I have been afraid. I have been proved correct in my fears, and sometimes wrong. And I have kept writing. Because when you keep writing you learn more and you get better and you learn how to handle those failures and fears and turn them into successes. You grow.

I am ALWAYS AFRAID when I write. Or, being afraid is always part of the process. I am not continuously afraid while I write, but I have to face the fear at some point, to some degree, with everything I write. In my opinion, fear is part of the process of writing, and if you can’t learn to cope with the fear, then you will end up not writing. Because the fear wins.

Some people might not find facing that fear worthwhile. In which case, maybe writing isn’t the activity/career/calling for them. This is okay. There are plenty of activities/careers/callings out there. 

But fear is part of the writing process. The fear must be faced and people have various strategies to do that, not all of them healthy. As much as writing is about the mechanics of putting the words down on the page and the craft of telling stories and the art of making something beautiful or horrifying or affecting, writing is about you as the writer sitting down with your fears and anxiety and demons and wrestling them down and yoking them to serve you. However you manage to do that. 

So. Why are you so afraid to start writing this one? Because fear is part of writing, and you are becoming a writer. Now what are you going to do with that knowledge? 

check out my writing and art tumblr @rosy-writes