#'i am in a bad mood and im going to make it everyones problem. no i will not elaborate.'

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

I’ve been spending the past like hour looking at your page I love it sm! I have some questions :3 1. Does Rosie have a design in your au yet? I’d love to see her being actually super scary- 2. Do velvette and vox know how Val treats angel? 3. Where is angel’s brother. Just what is he doing in hell.

Just for you anon I have drawn Rosie incredibly quickly and she kind of looks like garbage but ive never drawn her before im so sorry

For any issues in this (a few I can already spot) I will be fixing when I work on her full body design 🙏 I like her original smile and hollow eyes but honestly sunken in eyes that are barely visible are a lot scarier to be so she gets that. Ive also considered making her blind but we’ll see if I go through with that (I would love to design her a really fancy white cane though… something with that umbrella it does things to me..)

As for Vox and Velvette, I don’t think Velvette is anywhere near as aware as Vox is. The majority of her knowledge is some horrible things have probably happened but she’s never seen it or explicitly gotten any confirmation her suspicions are true so she refrains from prying into it because it’s “not her problem” and finding out would make things more complicated for her image and work, though she absolutely does hat Valentino and is 100% okay with killing him and has discussed kicking him out with Vox multiple times, however they have yet to settle on this.

Vox is definitely aware of what Valentino does but doesn’t actively engage himself in it aside from very sparse talks with Angel on set that usually involves Angel becoming irritable or jittery in Vox’s presence. Vox does detest Valentino’s behaviour and treatment of Angel and will frequently roll his eyes at the mention of Angel since in his mind “its always something with him” and by now any complaints Valentino has about Angel get filtered out after so many years of hearing the most mundane things Valentino is upset about. (ie. Angel moving even though he didn’t live with Valentino to begin with) Even though he heavily disapproves of what Valentino does he still turns a blind eye to it and leaves Angel with little to no help, only ever giving him a few words of advice or a brief warning if Valentino is in a bad mood that day.

Velvette is also unaware of Vox and Valentino’s actual situation as well as basically everyone else. On the surface they come off as “friends with benefits” however Vox is in a (very loosely) similar situation to Angel. Valentino will make similar threats and statements to Vox as he does Angel and currently, Vox doesn’t realise that Valentino is exploiting him. As of now, he hasn’t processed “I don’t actually want to be doing this” or “I am uncomfortable in this situation”. He is still suffering the effects of an abusive work relationship since Valentino does still hit and yell at him, he just hasn’t processed the sexual aspect of what they do was pushed onto him unnaturally rather than him consenting to it openly. Hopefully this makes sense? If it doesn’t feel free to DM me about it or send in another ask and I can clarify more

Angel’s brother currently is still in the mafia and is mingling with crime as usual, however a decent few years ago he ended up gambling away +65% of the families earnings at Husk’s casino back when he was an overlord and ended getting himself stripped of all respect and ranking and is currently attempting to repay his family and work his way back up while trying not to get killed. He is also vaguely homophobic still but has become more tolerant of it after being around and meeting more people. He definitely doesn’t think its “natural” but he knows when to keep his mouth shut and will probably understand more about it someday. Not anytime soon though. He also hasn’t seen Angel for around 8-10 years now and by seen I really just mean yelled at him from across the street and then got a brick thrown at him probably

[thejournallo]

How to fight a negative thought

As always, I will love to hear your thoughts! and if you have any questions, I will be more than happy to answer them! If you liked it, leave a comment or reblog (that is always appreciated!). if you are intrested in more method check the masterlist!

(Before we start, I want to actually suggest a book by Dr. . Julie Smith, "Why has nobody told me this before?" It is filled with tools that we can use to fight our mind when we know it is not acting right.)

Im going straight to the point here: negative thoughts can be frustrating. When it comes to manifestation, there is no difference, so with this, I am going to teach you how to deal with negative thoughts and reprogram your brain. 

The negative thoughts are normal in every person there, for in every community, it is normal to experience a bad thought, and sometimes a bad thought can ruin our lives and slow us down for a whole day. In this post, I'm going to give you a list of things that can help you realize a bad state of mind. When we want to start to realize these little things, we can catch them with way more ease than our negative thoughts.

Let's start with baby steps:

Our mood is influenced by our thoughts, and vice versa.

Give your negative thoughts logic. If you can't find logic, then why worry? ex: "Everybody hates me." In the logic, it will be "I am my own person, and the price to pay is that I am not going to be loved by everyone, and I can literally name who loves me."

Write about it, talk about it, and let your negative thoughts go. Don't let them stay inside of you because they will stagnate and produce mold like rotten fruit.

Don't search for temporary distractions for a long-term problem; feel it, cry if you need to, and have knowledge of what made you feel bad.

The more you realize your negative thoughts and what triggers them, the easier it will be to replace them and change the story.

Now some hard truths:

Our emotions lie to us; our emotions aren't 100% truth.

We choose to be happy or sad, and what we do about it is our fault.

You are your own brain; you can control your thoughts.

Our first reaction to a negative thought is fear, because we are scared that it might be the truth.

What do I have to do with all this information?

Witness your negative thoughts, own them, and stop them by making positive remarks.

Be patient with yourself; you are learning, you are healing, you are living your life, and you are allowed to make mistakes.

Witness your positive thoughts, own them, and give yourself the credit that you need.

All your manifestations are coming your way, and you are going to live the best life ever. Allow yourself to be and exist.

[femmefatalevibe]

hiii i love ur blog and i was wondering if i could have some advice. so essentially i am trying to improve my personality to become more likable. sometimes i find myself making rude quips in a way to be funny and i feel like it rly makes the other person feel like shit and i want advice to be nicer in general. i just make everyone feel so bad whenever im trying to make a joke. like im not even mad i just wanna joke but i know i need to stop so i wanna know how. also, whenever im jealous i feel like i minimize their achievements and try to bring myself up out of scaredness that people may view me as inferior. how do i stop putting other ppl down? tysmmm

Hi love. It sounds like you're struggling to cultivate a sense of emotional maturity and confidence. Here are the things I would work on:

Learn and practice displaying empathy. Consider the emotions the other person is experiencing based on what they're going through, their words, display of current mood/emotions, and body language. Consider how you would want to be supported and heard if you were going through these same experiences and emotions then respond like the person you would want to talk to you when dealing with a similar situation/feeling

Consider why you feel the need to put others down and make jokes at their expense. Are you looking to feel superior, worthy, heard, and/or validated? Accept and independently work on your own inner wounds, self-criticisms, and self-esteem issues. Don't make them other people's problems. Work through this negative self-talk with a therapist if you can. Understand that people see right through these behaviors and see that you're not comfortable with yourself. Being kind and calm towards others radiates self-assurance & confidence

Replace your scarcity mindset with an abundance mindset. Understand that one person's success does not diminish or remove the possibility of a win or potential accomplishment from another's achievement. There are infinite opportunities to go around that best serve individuals on their own unique journeys. Celebrating others' achievements can only help you become a more positive person encourage you to feel more motivated to work hard to attract accomplishments into your own life

Hope this helps xx

[no-shxme]

since ive had people asking about it, here's

an overview of my writing process:

its very long (but split into 4 sections) so i will be posting it below the read-more. i fr threw up all over the post and it covers my writing process specifically. because i write unreliable narration >> canonic characters, etc this will prolly not be as useful for like, idk, crack fic writers or whatever else. basically this is what works for me. it might not work for you, but feel free to peruse, im sure no 2 writer's processes are exactly the same. (AND THATS COOL)

Step 1: The Idea & Start

usually my fic starts with a single scene/mood/line, and the whole fic is started around that. (for ex: my fic Teeth started bc of 1 set of lines that we haven't even gotten to yet. [sob]) this also helps me be more motivated, as i become pretty desperate to get that scene/mood/etc written. (as i write i often find new goalposts to write to, which helps keep me motivated, yeah)

occasionally i will write out an initial drabble (like 1 or 2 paragraphs) set in the story idea i have, just to see if i like whatever's going on before i commit.

before i start i decide my setting or at least whatever parts of the setting are relevant. (i wont go into it here bc that's not exactly process.) then i'm game to start.

i've heard a lot of writers struggle with starting a fic and ending it. starting a fic isn't usually a problem for me but if i don't like how the beginning is looking it's usually because i've started it too far away from relevant plot. i don't want to write too much beginning set up, so my solution is always to delete what i have and restart the scene closer to when something happens.

(for ex: when writing everything that went wrong over the summer, the story started earlier and was going to have kayn discover rhaast at the end of the first chapter. but halfway through i decided it was bad. i didnt want to reveal too much and it was kinda boring, became a slog of wordlbuilding. i hated it so i deleted it and instead we meet rhaast in literally the second paragraph.)

imo if you are having trouble with starting stories, literally just throw yourself into the action, its the best way to jog a stuck start. move up the timeline, make things move faster. ask yourself if you really need all the space before the action happens. this method also be used on other scenes, not just beginnings.

it's generally a good idea to figure out what the minimum amount of time you need to complete your story. (this plot that takes place over three weeks, can it be done in three days instead?) but i dont always do that for fanfiction, more my personal writing. fanfiction can be loose and slimy, thats okay. i'm not gonna stress myself over it like i do with my book lol. for me fanfiction is like a vacation. since the characters are already established i can be free to experiment stylistically and try new things.

Step 2: The Writing (The Slog)

(The longest section of this post)

I actually have SO many notes for my writing process so this will be all over the place.

Whenever I write ANYTHING my goals are the following:

keep things concise, without crazy exposition or information overloads.

to me writing is kinda like a puzzle, or a combination lock. i have a line or thought and i just continuously swap words around in my head or on a doc until something clicks. my goal is not just something that fits, it's something that fits BEST. (i am not always successful at this.) so yeah sometimes a line sounds good, but how do i make it sound BETTER. i am always thinking about lines. all the time. i am always turning a scene in my head trying to find the best angle. im literally doing it right now.

this is a stylistic choice that might not apply to everyone, but i love writing unreliable narrators and therefore always write them. in fanfiction i like trying to keep the characters close to their canon personalities, so a lot of the following advice is through that lens.

WHEN IT COMES TO PLOT:

by the time i write my first scene i usually have an idea of the ending. i'm not too terribly focused on it but i definitely prefer to know it. its just something i have to reach eventually. usually little plot ideas will start sprouting up like checkpoints between the start and the end, and then it's just the matter of figuring out how to bridge the gaps between them. one of my favorite tricks i like to use for longer or difficult plots is work backwards. (i call it Keyframing)

(for ex: let's say i'm writing a story about a knight who marries a dragon, but i can't figure out how the hell that's gonna happen. an easy way to come up with ideas is think: what's 1 thing that has to happen between the start goal (there's a knight) and the ending (married to a dragon)? it could be something simple. the knight has to get to the dragon's lair before he can get married. okay, great, there's another plot checkpoint. now what's 1 thing that has to happen between the start and getting to the lair? and also what's 1 thing that has to happen between getting to the lair and getting married?

as you keep adding 1 thing to the plot between points, it basically writes itself, or gives you a very good list of things that HAVE to happen in order to progress the story. then you can add embellishments and tweak it, but its a good method i use for avoiding over-complicated plot. periodically i also ask myself: can this be simplified further?

in cases where i don't have an ending in mind (about 35% of the time) i let my characters drive the plot. this is very easy because i write unreliable, character focused narration. all i think is: ok what're they gonna do. how would they do xyz. hows this affect them. i'll also think about my end goal for the character as it slowly develops and ask myself if it's realistic for them. i don't write crack so if it's something a character won't do then i just won't write it. i'll figure out some other goal or method to achieve the same effect, even if the scrapped idea is cute. :C the end result is usually a more convincing character. (once again this is literally just how i write ff. you DONT have to write like this) in many cases the goal is fine but the method isn't, so i have to rethink how the character realistically reaches that goal. (this was very much the case in my fic, One Promise)

WHEN IT COMES TO WRITER'S BLOCK:

here's my methods for getting over writer's block in no particular order:

taking a break. (or a nap)

reading poetry (this helps bc i try to write poetic) or just read, if im in a pickle.

changing location. (if you write on your phone/laptop. just go somewhere else)

delete the scene and restart from a diff angle. (not advised tbh. i dont think this is a good method, even if it works for me. im only listing it bc its something i do.)

to a lesser degree: changing the font, listening to music i would never listen to normally. or not listening to music at all.

walking around in circles talking to myself about whatever line im chewing on. :/

Okay now im just gonna list a mixed bag of shit that pertains to my literal writing process:

i use google docs because i like to write on my phone and my tablet. i will write in bed before sleeping or in the car. ill write wherever. occasionally i will also use scrivener on my pc for writing assistance. or ms paint. (dont make me go into it)

i almost always try to write what the CHARACTER sees or experiences, versus what a narrator would see. (for example, in my fic Teeth, sett's ears are mentioned a lot. it's because talon keeps noticing them.) this is super important in my writing as it also serves meaning and makes things more concise. oh a character is an artist? so they might notice the technique in a painting. versus the same painting viewed by a carpenter, who might focus more on describing the picture frame. i have specific thoughts on (confident) character voice/unreliable narration, but this post is long lol. if anyone wants to hear it lemme know.

for the most part i only try to describe what's necessary. im not trying to introduce too many characters BY NAME or too many places or too much detailed description-dumping, unless im trying to hide something. ESPECIALLY IN FAN FICTION. one thing i keep in mind is that the reader will fill in the gap. like i could write 'a kitchen with green walls and one window' and boom you already have an idea of what the kitchen could look like. i could write a character using a stove and different readers might imagine that stove in two different places, as pertaining to their imaginary kitchen. that's fine. as long as the location of the stove is unimportant then i dont need to describe it. basically if it's not Vital to my vision then i often don't bother writing it. (this also allows me to push themes and sneak things, but this post is too long)

often while i write im thinking ahead, so ill start noting future lines/plot ideas to use at the bottom of the document so i dont forget them. if it's a long fic my lines-to-be-used will be like, pages long lol.

JUST WRITE. I JUST WRITE. sometimes its slop, that okay. i try to write every single day.

whenever i return to a wip i reread it to get in the Groove.

as i write i sometimes make comments (in google docs) on some words that i know are placeholders. like i'll write a sentence and think: i need to change that word, but im too in the flow to do that now, so i just make a quick note so i dont miss it when editing. i have shorthand for it too, like for example, WC stands for 'word choice' and REP stands for 'too much repetition.' sometimes im lazy and dont do this ._.

speaking of repetition, one of my lil tricks is to start a list of repetitive words as i write. i will often throw in the names of characters, and some common pitfall words for me (words that i have a tendency to use too often). this is helpful for....

Step 3: The Editing

okay first i take a break. the length often depends on how long the fic is. if its a shortie then i just play a game or 2 of league or smth. i must banish the story from my brain.

when i come back i give it a read over and edit whatever issues i see, reword, blah blah. i also use Ctrl + F with my list of repetitive words! this way i can clearly see problem areas where i've used the same word too close together. i will also Ctrl + F grammar missteps, namely double spaces, double periods, and double commas.

for word choice ideas i use wordhippo :3c sometimes i recognize that a line needs to cook so ill come back to it.

i also do character checks where needed. (Would they REALLY do that?) at this point i can identify a problem area pretty easily so i dont do it that much anymore.

then as my final editing step i read the whole thing aloud. this step is so important that i never skip it, even on long ass docs. reading it aloud to myself is vital. when i read it aloud i can actually test the dialogue and see cadence issues and random mistakes that i never catch anywhere else. for longer stories this is done chapter by chapter as finished, which is,,, thank god lol.

if im unsure about a story then i'll let it ferment for a while (days, weeks) before i come back and edit, just to make sure im not crazy or smth.

Step 4: The Posting

i post in ao3's rich text format, so it keeps some of the formatting. then i hit PREVIEW and then i hit EDIT again. bc ao3 is finicky about italics and will add weird ugly spaces bc of that. so to get rid of them i use my CTRL + F method again to check for space + periods (literally a space then a period), space + commas, double spaces (again), etc. i also center those *** things that people use as scene breaks bc they're never centered. takes like 5 minutes.

then i post and try not to feel immediately awful lol.

anyway that's my writing process. this ended up super fucking long holy shit. sorry i like, rambled and blabbed. i try to be thorough. there's a lot more that i can talk about not pertaining to the process itself but like, yeahhhh. thanks if you read all this, hopefully its not terribly boring.

[lilrainclouds]

this is the app for me to be mentally unstable, delusional, and completely unhinged. remember that. not that anyone will read this but it should be said.

anyway im so sad. like incredibly. the friends i have who i love dearly are actually making me feel insane. my identity isn’t my identity because there’s loopholes and certain stipulations i don’t check the box for.

‘are you identifying as you are because you can’t decide? i know you don’t like making decisions’

that’s not the same fucking thing but now i feel insecure about my choices. everything i thought i knew has now come into question and i hate that. my identity is mine and i can choose to identify how i please, supposedly, as now im letting them convince me otherwise.

another thing. everyone is lying and everyone is faking it. i hate having this mentality but everyone leaves too so like what else should i think. i thought i grew out my my ‘feeling like a stepping stone’ phase but i guess not.

somewhere along the way i do know that i am the problem. i dont stick up for myself. i dont take charge in certain situations. i dont have the confidence to fake it till i make it in a lot of situations unless im pretending to be happy. i can fake happy all day long. bottling up emotions is the one thing im good at. well…sometimes. my neighbor actually told me how interesting it is to see me just in good moods but she knows im hurting. she doesn’t know everything but she knows about her. my delusion. whatever.

im going to circle back to being the problem. i have a lot to do for growth to be the best version of myself. by no means did i assume i was done and okay that’s not how the world works. however i can see now im a lot farther away from being a better me. maybe im too hard on myself but i dont think so. if i actually spoke my truth instead of worrying about what people thought or being scared of coming on too strong maybe, just maybe, life would be a little different. i dont know. putting that feeling into words is hard for me.

maybe im a bad person. i just might be a bad person.

i cried on my way to work this morning. ive never felt lonelier. maybe its just my cross to bear. being lonely.

[tooweirdforyou]

Will u not come back? :((((

hello, anon! hope you’re doing well and apologies for the late response. I hope you see this! ❤️

so, I guess this will be my answer and also my first post in about a year or so.. Im not gonna make any excuses or whatever, and cut straight to the point.

Bit of a long post but it will explain most things without being too personal just because it’s been a long time and part of me feels as though I lost that respect and privilege of being comfortable and being myself around you guys. Anyone and everyone who stayed or is a newcomer to my account.

It’s the new year. Here’s how I’ll answer you.

Do I wish to come back? Yes.

Have I been actively attempting to come back? Yes and no. I have been attempting to work on chapters for my Quotev books, but lots of writers block and just pure unmotivated to continue with where I am. Knowing it can be better if I were to redo it, continue with force or if I simply make a new book, (( which due to my imagination and inspiration by things I’ve come across, I keep wanting to start new books. ))

Have things drastically changed for me as I’ve been away? Yeah, kinda. I mean, things are getting a little more difficult for me, I won’t go into too much detail but it’s been really difficult for me personally the last several months. I’ve never been consistent in my feelings and almost always ended up more numb, empty and sad. And some days it would be so bad that I couldn’t be alone and had to be in a room with another person I knew. I’m really working on it but it really isn’t something that just goes away, as most of may or may not understand.

Am I still dating? Yes! I’m still very happy with the guy I’ve known and started dating last year and in fact, we’ll be hitting our two years very soon. I know this may be personal but I kinda just wanted an excuse to talk about him, haha.

Now, am I still writing? / interested in writing? Definitely. I just have huge motivation problems but I definitely still love that creative form of expressing your imagination into words and making a story. The problem is that I have all these ideas and it just sucks to have to do all this beginning stuff instead of making the reader or OC in love with the person already!! 😂 but yes. I honestly do love to write still and my boyfriend tries to encourage and supports me but it’s really my own fault.

do I still Roleplay? I remember mentioning this and then making an separate acc for this but never really interacted with it often because at the time I was busy. And now, I don’t anymore because it makes my boyfriend jealous, haha. I do miss it though :)

Do I still go on tumblr? Every once in a while, which is like every two weeks or so? Or just under two weeks or sometimes longer. It depends. But yes, I do check and I do love to read every new comment and message I get, I just don’t respond to it because I’m honestly a little scared.

Will I come back? I want to. I really do. But there’s a few factors that come into play-

- so much time has passed that I worry I no longer have like a mutual bond with you all and that it’s too late for me to come back and just pretend like everything is fine. It’s not. I’m worried it’s too late to just start writing again, I guess I’m nervous? I missed being able to be comfortable and be myself on here but I don’t know. I think my time has passed.

- not only that, I don’t quite know how to use tumblr anymore.

- I can’t stick to one fandom, just like my mood swings, my current obsession changes so often that I’m worried I won’t be able to keep up with certain works or keep everyone happy with my work.

- I don’t know if I should continue mt old works ( ones on Quotev )?

Start new ones?

Go back to scenarios and oneshots like I used to?

Refresh on tumblr and continue here again?

Move to AO3?

It’s the new year and I do want to better myself and change and I really hope that that means I can start over with myself and my writings once again.

I missed all my comments and messages and having mutuals and interacting with everyone. It makes me feel connected and honestly little less lonely when my boyfriend has his long busy hours..

But to finally answer properly. Yes, I want to come back but I honestly don’t know where to start or if I can.

I’ll be checking tumblr so if anyone has any questions, comments or suggestions or whatever you wish to tell me, I will be here. Maybe by next month I’ll have an answer of what I’ll be doing in regards to writing. Whether I take any advice from you guys or make my own decision.

im very deeply sorry for my absence. I hope this answers everyone’s thoughts.

sending lots of love. ❤️ thank you to everyone.

[elftwink]

i really like board games but due to my Issues i tend to take everything way to seriously and personal resulting in a situation where i get annoyed and frustrated when i win or when i lose (you may think this doesn't apply to games with no win condition, but ive found ways to be a sore loser in minecraft. i'll lose at anything just to be sore about it. and i rules lawyer which to ME is neutral but everyone else hates because they want to play games the wrong and bad way and they do NOT care about my need to understand how the fuck we got here). now i have gotten better at this over the years and obviously as an adult i am in general much more emotionally regulated than as a child or teen, so though the problem crops up often still the consequences are typically limited to me being annoyed for a few minutes rather than me permanently killing the vibe for everyone in the room and forcibly ending games night.

HOWEVER. the strongest skill in my "dont ruin games night" arsenal is and always has been learning to say "actually i'll sit this one out" before i ruin it for everyone. unfortunately for me anyone you say this to takes it as a personal attack even after informed that the most likely and often only outcome is that not only will i be in a bad mood but i will bring everyone else down with me. people will be like "omg no we'll have so much fun just play one round i promise you'll enjoy it" all due respect no we wont. im not saying this to be a killjoy im saying it in a desperate attempt to save the games night before its all over. heed my warning lest ye suffer the curse (the bad vibes i am going to leech into the atmosphere if i have to pay rent to the same person more than twice in a row in monopoly). now i will admit that this is a personal problem obviously but it really does get me how i'll be like "if you make me do this i will be in a bad mood and i know from experience that it will impact the moods of everyone else and we will argue" and everyone insists to me that it wont happen and then when it does they are not only shocked but annoyed at ME for [checks notes] ruining the vibe and starting arguments. i agree this is not the best trait to have but you explicitly forbade me from doing the one failsafe prevention method that i have.

like i kind of feel like im saying to everyone don't touch the stove because the element is on, i get told "no it isn't, it isn't even hot you're exaggerating" by someone who then immediately burns themselves on the stove and starts admonishing me for not turning off the stove. like yeah the stove should be off but idk how to do that yet. also you are the one touching the stove after i specifically told you not to so at the very least i think we can both take some accountability for this

[tenjiiku]

HELPPP NOT U MAKING KAISER AN AQUARIUS IM DYINGGG (as another aquarius i am both eager and hesitant to claim him)....but regardless he probably going to hit a trifecta of unhealthy stereotypes. one day he's going to try hard for you and then the next day he's like "why can i never maintain any personal relationships for longer than a fucking month?" and then proceeds to block you. also he's going to be forever stuck between that inferiority and superiority complex. swinging moods day and night. emotionally unavailable but he chalks it up to trauma.

I’m also an Aquarius which is why I say this 😭 in my head Kaiser’s birthday is on February 14th and he is sooooo annoying about reminding everyone that it falls on Valentines day. Somehow he uses that to pick up girls. He’s so…

And yes it’s just so bad. It’s really a tug of war game with him. There will be days where he is overly affectionate to the point it’s almost suffocating and then there’s days where he’s so unattached it’s harrowing. I think at the end of the day though if he really cares about someone he will always know that he is the problem and not them. His brain is just wired so weirdly. Going on a tangent here… can I add.. I hc him as someone coming from wealth. His parents were arranged to be married and very clearly did not want to be married. I feel like as a child watching these adults in these emotionally unattached relationships really messed with him. I feel like Kaiser grew up with parents who should have divorced but didn’t (mostly because of him and also to ‘save face’ in front of their congregation) and it definitely affected him more than he will ever admit it did.

Kaiser needs therapy and a person who won’t sleep with him for many, many months to straighten out.

[turn2tech]

what the fuck just happened

ok um sorry for posting this on tumblr out of literally anywhere else but i just got out of a really WEIRD relationship and im honestly not sure what else to do!!!

tws: possibly toxic relationships? (past) physical/emotional abuse

holy shit wow where do i even start

this all happened so fast!!!

ok me and my bf of 1.5 years have broken up!!! It was our homecoming dance i invited them as well as our mutual best friend, and when they got there they told me they thought it was going to be a date. They acted very upset throughout the entire thing brought down the mood all together. I'm not saying that they aren't allowed to express their emotions, but the thing is, they were there when i invited the best friend. After that, i broke up with them while we were waiting for our parents to pick us up (we're freshmen). We agreed to stay friends.

After all of that, i invited the best friend over to my house, mainly so i could complain about how they were kind of a manipulative asshole throughout the entire relation (dw, ill get to that later) and we got to talking, eventually coming to the conclusion they we should also stop being friends with them.

Me, being the irrational and impulsive prick that i am, told someone that max was close too! I told him the next day at school, not realizing i forgot to tell him that the confrontation itself was going to happen at a later date, and him, confused, went to class and asked my boyf what happened.

blah blah blah yada yada yada i said some stupid shit in a group chat, insulted them while trying to explain the situation, and was just kind of bitchy about the whole thing. Without hearing my side of the story, everyone immediately took max's side and kicked me. I understand it to an extent, but even to this day they refuse to get my perspective which is really concerning to me. I had someone i knew inside the group chat still, and they sent me screenshots of everyone saying how they never liked me in the first place and how AND I QUOTE "only ever talk about cartoons and video games." Like... damn. I would genuinely rather be punched in the face and have my nose broken by a complete and utter stranger on the street then to see that.

A few days after, the friend that started this all insisted that apologizing to the bf directly would fix everything. I gave a whole ass SPEECH about how i was in the wrong about the things i said, but i still felt our relationship was unhealthy for me. They didn't add me back to the group chat, nor did i ever have someone ask me for my side. Oh, and the inside friend? refuses to defend me in fear of getting kicked out as well.

The mutual best friend actually made amends with the bf so they aren't on bad terms, but in truth they are only there to report what he has said about me. He has said the following:

that i was emotionally distant

i ... smelled bad????

i didn't give them enough "physical affection" (i frequently said no to making out)

And that just got me thinking. The entire reason i was emotionally and physically distant was because of, well, physical and emotional abuse ive suffered in the past. Ive had terrible relationships, and even more terrible friends. I told them about this several times, and that it's not their fault im this way! clearly they don't care and have decided to take it personally, which is not my problem.

So you know what? ive got a couple of gripes with you too.

you never(rarely) showered and actively admitted that to me

you were a compulsive liar that lied about fucking EVERYTHING

you frequently emotionally presured me into staying with you, using the phrase "I'd probably kill myself if we ever broke up haha" frequently

you faked being scene (dressed the part, did not listen to the music LMFAO I JUST REMEBERED THEIR FAVORITE ARTIST IS MITSKI HELP)

AND LAST, BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST,

YOU FUCKING FAKED BEING TRANS TO DATE ME

yes, you read that last part right! the NIGHT we broke up they went to all their social media accounts and changed the flags in their pfps, as well as the pronouns in their bio, oh no, im sorry, HER BIO. I am pissed and angry and mainly sad that i didn't see the signs earlier. And hey, if you read this far, thanks.

Anyways, there's actually a lot more inbetweens to this story, including the collapse of an entire friend group, rumors, and a musical (not fucking kidding), but im tired and typing this just made me really sad. goodnight.

[binalakai-archive]

🍅🧅🍏🥑 wahoo fruit party!!

How misunderstood is your OC? In-universe or IRL. oh god. okay. okay Hue Man on Earth is a story that is. REALLY hard for me to share, despite how much I do try to talk about it publicly (or at least update my toyhouse as much as possible when i feel like doing that), there's always that sense of. people either boiling my characters down to Tropes/who's the Bad one and who's the Good One. whos the character thats meant to be a personal attack on someone (none of them are) n whos the character that is meant to be relatable (none of them are PURPOSELY written to be that way) n it just. really goddamn sucks sometimes. i could talk about specifics with my main trio specifically, over the course of time that i've had Hue, Magni, and Clyde, theyve all been weirdly misunderstood in their own way that i have gotten to the point of having to reevaluate those folks n look inward into seeing if that perception of themselves can be weaved into the plot. but honestly i think ill catch myself in a bad mood atm if i think about it too hard. tldr on that; i try to microdose my story when sharing it to others, n even then i get really nervous about the idea that my story wont be valued/understood as a whole, which is partially of my own doing as well bc i do have a tendency to Put a Lot into characters once i get super attached to them. ..so nowadays im too burned out to do that :"P once i make that pitch bible, it probably still wont fix that, but its still a project im committing to nonetheless! 🧅 [ONION] What is surefire to make your OC cry? Who knows of this information? Hue) hard to answer with a creature like him. objectively, he doesnt cry. its not needed for him to release emotion the same way it does for Earth-things. but he does it anyway, or at least the equivalent (letting go of parts of his body in droplets from his eyes, just for them to crawl back to his body) it's less about "am i sad right now and do i have to cry" and more like "is crying appropriate for this situation.". after his Human arc in arc 5, its something he actually stops doing as a whole because experiencing the feeling of crying in a human body like. Actually Fucks him up REAL bad NJWKEFNAJKWFNAKWEF Magni) the "sillier" or "unrelated to themselves" the issue is, the more theyll have a tendency to genuinely cry over it. they cry when they know no one else is there to mourn over the problem they're crying about, which is why they'll have a very Stone Flat Face when Witnessing the horrors, but will have an absolute meltdown over dropping their favorite cup Clyde) Honestly that motherfucker will cry over. like....anything? Honestly? to the point where it can be unpredictable. Clyde's emotions are based less on the Cause of Crying and more about the intensity of its emotions. any time it gets overwhelmed, it will cry, and its been labeled a crybaby inuniverse because of that 🍏 [GREEN APPLE] How do they differ from the norm and how are they punished for it? answering this all together, and honestly without having to like. explain the whole plot of HMoE in one setting. Hue seen as different from the norm not because he's an alien but because he's technically an illegal immigrant, Magni and Clyde are autistic PoC that also Do Not Fit Well into their hometown whatsoever. may i need to say anything else. 🥑 [AVACADO] What will they never back down about, even if it makes them seem bad?

Hue) trying to be seen as a good person, even if it means doing the most heinous shit possible (as long as he's able to hide it/insist on good intentions) Magni) trying to be seen as the Right Person, even if it means twisting things in their favor SPECIFICALLY to be right (though will admit to it redhanded if theyre caught, more out of being impressed if anything) Clyde) trying to be seen as the Truthful Person, even if it means ruining everyone's day/life about it (it''ll try to seem like it doesnt care about being "bad", but it very much actually eats away at it. every single damn day)

[catspinach]

ive been meaning to vent on here about work for a long time now so here

i was hired in as a shift supervisor at a brand new starbucks with all brand new employees aside from another supervisor, Mylah, who is a 4yr partner(remember her), and maybe 2 others or so. none of us knew what we were doing. i was barista trained separately from the rest, followed by supervisor training, and then a week off. I came back and had no idea what the hell i was doing, and everyone was mad that i didnt know what to do??

Mylah trained me, and it was brutal. She would critique everything i did, and I always defended myself, saying "why do i need to do it that way if this way gets the same results?" and she did Not like that lmao and the entire training was incredibly tense.

Months pass, and she is worse than ever. she's had several lectures about her behavior but not a single writeup. Nothing has changed. She trained a new supervisor a few weeks ago, and she treated her the same way as she did with me. At some point she slammed a freezer and started shouting, making her cry, and Everyone in lobby turned their heads. i felt awful and wanted to say smth, but I'm genuinely scared of her. Everyone is. Several people have admitted to me that they call off when they see Mylah on the schedule.

The other day, the lobby was empty, and we were free to talk about all the harassment we've faced with her. I cant even remember all of it there's so much but uh here's a list of stuff i remember:

My manager gave Jenn some extra hours, and when they came in, Mylah cornered them, asking why they stole all her hours?? Jenn was comfused because they were literally just added to the schedule so that they would have enough bodies on the floor. Apparently Mylah was pissy at them for the entire rest of their shift, which sucks bc they were already working 12hrs that day:'(

I became friends with a barista named Diana, who is hispanic, and Mylah (white) would always say rude things that made her uncomfortable, saying its okay because her bf is mexican ._. It became a problem and eventually Mylah started looking through all her stuff to get her fired, and succeeded. Diana told me that Mylah would joke with the other baristas about how im stupid and bad at my job, and she said she always stood up for me which definitely did not help her with this whole situation but I greatly appreciate her for it, and we still talk!

Anna said Mylah was talking to her about me and how i do my job wrong. she said i don't face the bills the same way in the deposit bag, and that I dont fill in the money order right so I'm the reason we have so many goddamn nickles, and she said I don't double count the drawers and that's why there's so many mistakes with the deposit. the funny thing is, i DO face the bills the same way, I have never even DONE a money order because that's morning's job, I TRIPLE count the drawers bc i have anxiety, and nobody has EVER said anything to me about the deposit being off.

At some point someone said ret*rded, and Mylah is autistic and was rightfully mad, and brought her to the back to yell at her. not sure what she said but when she came back she went up to me, and only me, and apologized. so like that really hurted but okay whatever ill just go kill myself ig

Mylah was opening one day and told Morgan that since I was closing that it would probably take longer than usual to close? I asked Morgan how Mylah was with closing, and she said that nothing gets done until the absolute last minute, and it takes at least half an hour to finish closing. My record is 2 minutes past close.

Jenn and Taylor told me that I'm their favorite out of all of the shifts, because I make sure to get everything done, I am fast, efficient, and if they have a question I will do my best to figure out a solution for them. Apparently, when they ask Mylah a question, she answers with, "I dont know man, I just work here" and walks away. which like. mood. but she's getting paid 20/hr compared to the baristas at 15/hr, and there is absolutely no reason that the baristas should have to pick up her slack.

Anna used to be friends with Mylah, and they went to get piercings together, and Mylah thought it would be super funny to snapchat Anna having a panic attack about the needle! outside of work, but still fucked up

theres more idk

Mylah got it in my head that I'm the worst of all of the supervisors, and when I found out I was almost all the baristas' favorite, I started visibly shaking with relief! Ive been trying so so hard to make up for how "bad" i am at my job in fear that everyone will hate me otherwise, and now I gind this out and I don't know how to handle this information jdgdheb

I asked them if they would like to talk to the manager as a group, hoping that will show her just how serious the situation is. I don't usually pray for someone to get fired, but I want her ass permanently out of my sight asap

[winderlylandchime]

He was on a roll today! He didn’t want to stop. Havent even started the ep and we are like 3 cigarettes in and 4 pills down. He had an audience of one (to his knowledge) to entertain and he delivered. But he was stressed. It started with him coming back inside and going ‘okay i think I’m ready.. i could be wrong tho’ honestly this is a mood ngl, ‘do you think Brian buys him alcohol..or does he have a fake id? Idk whats cuter. OH MY GOD HE IS DRUNK AND CARING ABOUT HIS EDUCATION! Why am i finding this cute?..my dream is for brian to tell justin he loves him. Seriously dude wtf has to happen for you to tell him’ I swear i deserve an award bc he says stuff that would usually get a reaction from me but i have to be normal about it and it is hard! ‘Oh god, how weird do you think had to be to film blow job scenes?..his hand still acts out! How is he gonna do in school? Oh Brian can’t get enough of him. SIR’ ‘..oh my god MIKE HAS THE SAME WAY OF DEALING WITH PROBLEMS THAT I DO..remember when i dyed it purple for that girl who said her favorite color is purple..and then she never talked to me again?*long pause* honestly i dont blame her that was a bit *waves his hands around* much.’ ‘..brian actually cares about Teds weird addiction enough to show up for an intervention? See! And he got him a job! There is potential here somewhere just let me uncover it!’ ‘Oh Justin is drawing again, dude it’s okay just take a deep breath, count to ten, shake your hand a little and do it again. That’s what my therapist told me to do…although i was 12 and it was bc i was scared to make friends…oh no his hand is gonna be a problem isn’t it?!’ He is now having a moment bc he feels bad for Mikey but he is conflicted with his feelings..’i need him to listen to Bri Bri and quit his job. Oh my god JUSTIN IS STILL HERE?! OH GOD THIS IS PAINFUL TO WATCH. So what if he lost control?! HE IS CLEARLY DISABLED TO SOME DEGREE! Would you kick a handicapped person out of school bc they can’t attend gym class?! Oh i hate this guy! How about you HELP him meet the requirements somehow?! You see he is talented and instead of HELPING him as a teacher, you are gonna spit on him bc he’s disabled?! OH FUCK THIS GUY! FUCK HIM ALL THE WAY TO HELL. I need a cigarette again. Pause this shit bc i am not okay’ he is currently outside pacing back and forth mumbling while smoking and i am learning so much about him bc of qaf, this is actually insane. ‘Okay turn it back on. I’ve calmed down now (cut to justin saying he is dropping out) I LIED I AM NOT CALMED DOWN WTF YOU DONT LET PEOPLE WIN WHEN THEY MAKE YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT DISABILITIES!..oh i love all of their reactions! But Brian is about to have a stroke if Justin doesn’t stop’ ‘WAIT THAT WAS LIKE WHEN BRIAN DID IT IN THE PILOT! okay that was cute! The way Bri Bri stares at him and then he dried his face. Fucking adorable, i almost forget that im mad that he dropped out..(and we are at the computer scene) OH MY FUCKING FUCK CRISPY JESUS HE GOT HIM THAT COMPUTER! THAT IS NOT NORMAL FUCK BUDDY BEHAVIOR BRIAN! Oh this fucker cares so deeply for him and everyone else but doesn’t want anyone to know. CMON JUSTIN STOP BEING A LITTLE BITCH AND TRY IT! Oh that’s messed up Justin, he isnt trying to fix you, UNLIKE THE TEACHER HE IS TRYING TO HELP YOU FIND WAYS TO DO YOU THING! Oh he looks like he just watched a puppy get hit (he now got sad at a fake scenario he just made up about the puppy)..OH HE DREW A PENIS NICE’ 1/2 of 2x05

Oh he drew a penis, nice. DEAD.

Anon you are so brave and strong for not telling him the things that you should not be telling him.

Your brother has gone straight (pun intended) queer theory to disability theory. He needs a full honorary degree. I love him.

[ventcode]

I just wanna kinda,, ramble, I guess, so many thoughts on my mind, and I never really ramble on purpose (it's mostly an accidental thing..) so.

my shoulder still hurts kinda. it all hurts alot, actually. i don't know why. no matter what i do. ive stopped bringing it up over and over again though. nobody seems to quite listen. some streches, but the pain only subsides for a little bit.

im hungry, but i ate food all day yesterday. seems no matter how much i eat lately, ill still be hungry, and if i dont eat im starving, it makes my stomach feel horrible, the six and kyoko brain mix surely isn't helping.

im listening to my theme, six's theme part II, it's been calming me down, ive been humming along, im just making sure i dont have another panic attack, it surely does help, afterall its calmed me down before, as six. im not surprised it still helps now.

i keep having to change my shirt, it gets uncomfortable too much, its quite annoying, i put on deodorant too but it seems to wear off and it becomes uncomfortable again, maybe i just need to shower tomorrow (today? i don't count it as the next day until i wake up that morning.), that must be the case, im just not clean.

speaking of, its annoying but i seem to always need reminders to do stuff, or i dont take care of myself and do my own thing, with the food thing its gotten better since im always really hungry lately, so the first thing i try to do when i have time is eat food. but with the other stuff of taking care of myself, i seem to neglect it. showering. cleaning my room (i havent done that in MONTHS). drinking water. brushing my teeth. laundry stuff. i always need reminders. but i cant get reminders from my parents. "you're 14, you need to remember this stuff", and if I set a reminder on my phone, I always swipe away the notification and forget about it without fail. it's annoying. i hate that.

I miss my fort from last year, my matress on the ground next to the window, my tv there, just. ofc it neglected the rest of my room but. i miss my own little space there. it was from a calmer time. it had problems like bugs (i found a cockroach crawling on the tv once at night), but otherwise, everything else was okay, i miss just. i miss that, i guess. maybe I should use that tv again, it still works, just not my PS4, the Wii U works though, so, maybe I'll try that.

I think about holding your hand alot, anywhere, I don't really care where it is, but lately I just. have the feeling it'd be nice to just hold your hand, like you're there with me, I've just been holding onto that pillows sleeve more and more, like im holding onto your hand, it keeps the comfort, it helps just a little, I wish it was real, I want to hold your hand. When we meet, I don't think I'll let go of it. ^^"

My dreams have all been,, upsetting as of late, probably because of my anxieties before I go to bed. it sucks, it gets me in a bad mood in the morning, but I'm trying not to lose my hope for atleast a better dream, if dreams reflect subconscious, then I just have to think good things before bed right? I surely try but, I don't know why they all end up bad, I have alot of bad days, but, during the evening, it gets a bit better, and then bad again, I don't know what's really been happening. A horrible nightmare, they're stressing me, but I need to stop thinking too hard on them, if I do, then nothing good is bound to happen.

I think of those bad opinions on me, I'm really no monster, I'm a traumatized 9 year old, a kid, a child, I'm little. I'm surviving in a world that's trying to kill me. I really just wanted to survive, that's all I wanted. sure I ate a nome and I ate the ladys fucking neck and probably did something else Im unaware of in source atm and didn't save those kids in the maw, but, I really am no monster. I swear and promise. I didn't want to be the "hero who saved the kids", I wanted out, to survive, cause I'm a fucking child. I wish everyone knew that. but who'd believe me, if anything, everyone else would think im crazy, that I'm not really six, that im most likely just delusional, and that upsets me. so I can't be honest. that's such a stupid reason but, yk, the anxieties. (fun not so fun fact! during those hunger pangs when i was playing the game and watching you play as well, my stomach felt like SHIT dude. </3)

Speaking of, depending on the ID, I hate referring to myself in 3rd person (unless im speaking in 3p at the time), it just bothers me and I feel separated from myself, and it hurts. with some its fine and others its not. and sometimes I fuck up, so I'll accidentally refer to myself in 1st person with an irl friend and they'll look confused, I mostly just go oops and correct myself but, god does it really hurt, alot. But I don't wanna be honest abt that since it's easier to just refer in 3rd. even I just do it out of habit, but it just gives me a bad feeling, like I'm not me, and the others aren't. the others. I don't know. maybe I just have issues and shit.

idk why but talking about that just reminded me of that time I met a double and got them banned from using tumblr. bro is that mad !!! but srsly I got like so mad in the dream and spam reported them and Tumblr was on my side and banned the account and ANY NEW ACCOUNTS THEY MADE. bro dream me is winning everyday (/lie im having frequent nightmares!! /silly)

it's hard to talk but also extremely easy to talk, the words come out but I don't want them to, like I don't really want to talk to anyone, of course I make my exceptions, if nobody could tell /silly but, idk, it feels meaningless to talk, I'd rather just. do stuff. not talk unless needed, but, when most your friends are online, you kind of need to talk most of the time, or nobody understands what you're saying, even on voice calls, not like I wanna have my camera on at all times (depending on the person), so, it's still useless, I don't exactly know what to do about this, I feel myself talking more and more even though I wanna talk less and less. oops I guess.

me and toaster talked, we're still friends, but we wont contact for awhile, or atleast not every day, i apologized, and so did he, i really do feel bad for acting like an asshole. but everything's okay now, and it'll all be okay.

seems im getting teary eyed writing,, all this, there's so much I'm saying, yet I say I wanna talk less, that's funny, isn't it? I've written so many thoughts down that it's been like 40 minutes at this point, that's funny, how much is really on my mind.

enjoy my thoughts and rambles, I know atleast one person will read this, waving!! sorry I ruined my sleep schedule again, I'll do better.. :')

Goodnight. ♡

[euph0ric-adventures]

24032023; 0100

Its been a long while..  There’s been so much that has been going on in my life the past year. It’s been the worst and I feel like Im at the worst point in my entire life. Maybe not fully

Words are so impactful and powerful, but words at the same time can make or break a situation - when people take it out of context or perspective, when they see their arguments, issues and problems to be bigger than anything. The fear of leaving the comfort zone, or the fear of simply accepting that you messed up and you need to find a solution or accept help from someone else. It’s painful and difficult - I understand and empathise.  Actions on the other hand speak louder than words, but what happens when these same actions are misinterpreted or misunderstood. A simple good action could be denoted as an action of harm, resentment or backlash. 

It’s a difficult and painful world we live in - where each and everyone of us are fighting our very own demons, struggling to barely stay afloat or even worst make it past to another day. It’s tiring and exhausting. We fear of being judged or being a burden to another person. But what good will it bring if all we do is feel and not attempt to act accordingly to better the situation. 

I’d be lying if I said I was taking everyday with stride. I should be grateful and blessed for everyday that I get to wake up, where I get to go to a job that I still have and enjoy despite it’s pains, where I have food and the financial capability to treat myself to a good cup of coffee everyday. Cos some people leave in their sleep, some get laid off cos of the current economy, some people don’t even have enough to eat a decent lunch. . Yet if I was called to go - as in die. I will leave everything and everyone in a heart beat. Cos I am tired, and despite being thankful for everyday that I have - I feel like I’m struggling to be happy, to be content, to be at peace. I am tired and I’m worried I will give up one day. 

I’m a fighter, I fight so passionately for what I feel and want. But this same fighter is afraid that - one day I will just drop my shoulders and not care anymore, than any discomfort in life will affect me no more. 

I’m always expected to understand and give way and be more accepting of the situation. To see it from their point of view and understand their struggles. But isit selfish of me to ask the same? I do - without fail, every time see it from the other persons point of view, see how and why they  may feel or act or say certain things. I mould myself to better fit to them or their mood or situation, so that they will not feel the extra anxiety or burden. I understand, or at least I feel I really try to. 

But is it wrong - wrong to feel understood and needed? To feel like I deserve more? Isit selfish of me to think that? 

I’m tired - and honestly, I really want to give up. I know I was heading towards a downward spiral - hence I really got myself checked into therapy. Has it been helpful? Yes - but isit making me a better person? IDK really.. It takes 2 hands to clap, it’s stupid to hold up one hand and not be met with the other hand - Im just left hanging. I will hold up this hand until the other hand meets mine, but all I can hope for is that my hand will not get tired as much as my heart and body is. 

Nothing hurts more than hearing the other person say they feel bad that they dragged you into something dark and bad with the full intention of knowing what they are doing - without being met with a solution. 

But I guess that’s the mystery of life - pain and suffering and how we learn to morph ourselves to better handle situations instead of expecting the other party. 

Cos why try to change others who are set in their ways and habits and thoughts when you can change your perspective on things - the danger of it - not being able to feel anything in the long run - being immune and numb and actually saying well “ it is what it is”. . . 

[cryptixani]

Hello! I saw you had matchups open and i was hoping i could get a romantic bnha matchup :)

>pronouns: She/her

>fandom(s): BNHA

>if you want a romantic or platonic match: Romantic please

>if you have a preference between heroes or villains (if applicable to the fandom):

I don't have a preference

>gender preference of your match:

Any gender is fine with me

>describe your personality:

I am introverted most of the time however i still don't mind chatting with people either. I also am empathetic and i will always stand up for what i believe in and i try to be someone people can go to for their problems. The weird thing is even though i try to be kind to everyone, there are times where i meet someone and i realize that person doesn't deserve kindness. Im also hot headed and even though i don't get into physical fights, if someone says something that hits close to home, i turn into a mean person and have made others cry. Not something im proud of i just snap back when someone disrespects me

>your likes and dislikes:

i enjoy cleaning, cooking, anything related to makeup and fashion related, taking care animals and children, Reading manga, playing video games and watching murder documentaries.

As far as dislikes go i don't like, close minded people, not having a sense of control of my life, being alone, being ignored, being compared to others and seeing others i care about in pain

>what type of relationship do you want? something intimate, independent? someone to take care of, someone to take care of you? get married, have kids? etc.:

I would like someone who is patient, doesn't mind me being clingy, and someone who will protect me.

>anything else you want me to know:

I have borderline personality disorder so its important to have someone who wont get annoyed with me and is reassuring

As far as kinks go, im a sub and my top there kinks are: praise, breeding and its not really a kink but aftercare is really important to me.

Thank you so much and have a good day/night !

hi hi thank you for submitting! sorry i got round to this so late but i hope you enjoy anyways <3

i match you with...

Keigo Takami

this one felt like somewhat of a no-brainer to me honestly, it just felt like you two would be a perfect fit for each other!

keigo appreciates your more introverted nature as a contrast to his extrovertedness, i think you both balance well for it.

is always on the lookout for when your social battery starts running dry in case he needs to whisk you away, especially because of how anywhere he goes people tend to flock.

he deeply respects your emphathetic nature and how you stand up for what you believe is right. it's all what makes a hero after all, and whether you yourself are a pro hero or not he believes its a very admirable trait to have.

your hot headedness doesn't put him off as much as it intrigues him. sure, it may sometimes be an overreaction and in those cases he might interject to ease the situation... but if you're simply defending yourself from a rude individual, and you're not actively getting physical, who's he to stop that?

i think he'd be good at reassuring you and making you feel safe/loved in terms of your BPD. he's good at easing tense situations, and always has a joke to lighten the mood, but if thats not what you need he'll also sit down and take care of you in any way you need.

you share an interest in fashion, so he likes browsing fashion magazines with you, and often takes you on little shopping sprees. his treat, of course.

hawks is very protective of you, rest assured that on his watch nothing bad would ever happen! he's also very observant and can usually even sus out potential danger before you register it.

hope you enjoyed!

[rainstormdrop]

i really wanted to play GnG tonight. i got so irrationally upset at 3 of my friends today. One no showed tonight. no text or anything to tell me he couldn't make it. another was gonna be late and then she couldnt make it because she didnt have a ride. then the third was having a bad day and decied to come anyways but then i had to change all of my plans because i didnt want their bad mood to ruin everything. like hot take if you feel so guilty all the time maybe think about how your attitude could affect the people that care about you. maybe think about how because you made your upsetness everyone elses problem that they are going to do everything in their power to make you feel better. i had to scrap the session again. we havent played a session in a month and i feel miserable. i put so much into this only to be treated as a commoditiy. i know i talk about how the most important thing is that the players have a good time, but why dont i get any respect for the amount of time i put into this. all of them are people who are huge fans of some type of media and love it so much. they get excited about every part about it. but they dont seem to understand that i am the creator of this thing. this thing that they dont show the same care and attention to. this is my passion project. my heart and soul being poured out for the campaign and im being treated like a commodity.