#'dont listen to him' 'genes just...well..gene is gEnE'

[shitpost-it-tristan]

Nah cause, someone PLEASE heLP FELIX💀😭

[t4tdanvis]

if i said i was normal about this idea would. would u believe me

[artists-who-rarely-draws]

Caught a Vibe!

Wanted to write some headcanons to boost my motivation for drabbles so enjoy!

Minecraft Diaries vs Suprise kisses from reader!

Feat: Garroth, Laurance, Zane, Vylad, Gene, Jeffory, and Cadenza

Info: G/N Reader.

pre established relationships, Zane and Gene sure are themselves lol. Pretty much just fluff. Reader instead of Aphmau in all except for Jeffory, Zane and Gene. Abby is around 5-6, Sasha and Zoey were supposed to be in this, but I got bored of this one and wanted to get it out- if yall want more or I randomly decide to write a part 2 on my own they will be the first ones in it i promise.

Warnings: (I know i said mostly fluff but im sorry) Zane is for sure his own warning but there is mentions of Jeffory's murder in his part and a implication of threatening reader in the past. Genes also not great, his reader is a little naive and he a little frames them. His powers are used but not against reader.

Requests are still open and enjoy under the cut!

Oh, Garroth, sweet, sweet Garroth.

He thinks he's so subtle, but he is not.

Your lovely boyfriend is so starved for affection but so unwilling to ask for it.

He thinks it would be improper being a guard... or at least that's what he says, but it surely stems from his affectionless household.

you catch him sometimes watching your hands or his gaze moving to your lips for only a moment.

It's incredibly endearing. And gives you an *incredibly* devious idea.

really, can you be blamed for Garroth being so fun to tease? He's such a pearl clutcher!!

Patrol reports are boring. you fully understand why they need to happen. But there's never anything to report yet. Somehow, your lovely guards can take 20 minutes to describe *nothing* .

and that's where you sit, listening to Garroth go on about the state of the forest surrounding Pheonix Drop. Turning to you asking if you have anything to add. before doing it *again* .

Crystal blue eyes looking to your lips for just a moment before they are averted.

oh, he makes it too easy.

with a simple smirk, you lean across the table to kiss him.

He goes unbelivably stiff for a moment in his shock before positivley *melting* when your hand moves to cup his warm cheek.

He lets out something between a small whine and a groan when you deepen it, His kiss is soft and sweet, with just an edge of desperation. One hand moving to cradle the back of your head a silent plea for you not to pull away just yet. eliciting a small chuckle from you.

but eventually, it must come to an end. And when you pull away, he chases after your lips for a moment a lovesick haze in his eyes, as if the entire world outside of *you* has fallen away from him. A look that warms you from the inside out and reminds you just how much you love the man in front of you.

'No nothing to add,' you coo softly before fully pulling away, looking to your other two guards. Dantes eyes wide and mouth parted, Laurances eyes were wide as well but there was a sense of amusment to it.

You cheerily excuse yourself, letting them know you will be working on some upgrades for the Plaza if they need you. Leaving behind a sputttering malfunctioning Garroth who crashed back down to earth.

You really will be the death of him.

He's just so handsome.

And his cooking smells so good, His voice is so smooth as he talks about the dish he's making, and you're so in love with the man in your kitchen.

Your relationship is already so affectionate, but will you ever really be satisfied?

You're so busy watching him and fanaticizing you dont even notice that he's stopped cooking to talk to you.

'Hey, you with me?' He asks with a chuckle, snapping you out of the daze.

You look at his slightly crooked smile, giving him a slight smirk, giving you a mischevious idea of your own. His eyebrow raises as he notices the new look in your eye.

You surge forward to kiss him, His eyes widen in slight surprise before closing and leaning further into you. But just before he can move his hands to hold onto you and deepen the kiss, you pull away. He looks down at you with a mixture of amusement and confusion one hand on your hip....

You stare into marble blue eyes for a few moments. Before lifting his hand off your hip so you can dash away laughing, the shout of 'Hey!' and the stove turning off lets you know he's in chase.

'What was all of that about?' he asks, giggling himself as he sets your feet back on the ground.

Even with your head start, you only get halfway down the stairs of the hill to the platform before you feel arms wrap around your midsection, hoisting you in the air and spinning you around with a triumphent shout. Laying quick kisses all over the side of your face as you laugh.

You just let out a contented sigh and turn your head to kiss him for real. Sweet and tender and full of giggles when you remember his shout as you ran.

Being the spouse of the high preist of O'khasis is certainly....interesting.

you know he cared for you in... some real extent. After all, he went through a lot of effort to ensure your engagement. Sabatoging your other suitors and persuading your parents.

That wasn't all it took to convince you. You're not dumb and know of the vast political advantage he gained from marrying you. You were the hier of a village that rivaled Scaleswind in size. If you were dumb you doubt Zane would hold you in any regard.

But Zane does have small moments that convince you that you mean more than just a political pawn.

You still share a bed. You knew no matter what, you would need to share a room to keep appearances, but if he didn't want you in the bed, you were certain you wouldn't be in the bed.

Most nights, you were already asleep when Zane went to bed. but sometimes you would wake up in the middle of the night, and his arm is draped over your side.

He also can be affectionate at times, mostly in public... but there are times in private his hand will find yours, or a quick kiss will be placed to your temple, hand, cheek or very occasisonally the corner of your mouth.

And in a twisted way. You had to care to make threats.

it wasn't anything overt. It was a meeting for the jury of nine. You were seated on the armrest of his throne at his behest. Which wasn't too odd. Whenever Zane saw the opportunity for a power move, he took it. and you still dont know who it was against. The audience he held... or you.

You're stuck staring at the Corpse of Jeffory the Golden Heart laying on the carpet. Zanes pitch black sword still stained with the fathers blood, tossed onto Zanes desk as he makes his way back to his throne.

He pulls you into his lap as he sits. Arms wrapped around your waist and chin resting on your shoulder.

'Let this be a lesson to the rest of you.' He looks around at the rest of the Jury of....well.. Eight gathered. 'This is what happens to those who betray me.'

His arms tighten around your midsection after that.

It's been a while since then. It's getting late, but as usual, Zane is at his desk going through paperwork. The sound of quill on paper and the crackling of the fire makes this moment feel peaceful.

You don't really know what possesed you to do this, maybe the soft light of the fire off of your husbands cheekbones in his rare moments without the mask.

That is what most makes you feel most like he cares for you.

Getting to see the freckles dusting across his light baby face. A view reserved just for you.

'Yes Lamb?' Zane speaks up, making you jump out of your thoughts. He hasnt moved his gaze from his paperwork.

You steel your resolve and get up from your spot, walking to your husbands side, He turns his head to look up to you, one eyebrow raised. Icy blue eyes bearing into you.

'Just heading to bed,' you mummer, leaning down to press a feather light kiss to the corner of his mouth. 'Good night'

you pull away pretending not to notice the way Zanes face flushes the darkest shade of red you have ever seen. And his eyes are wide in suprise.

It's actually pretty adorable, but you know it would take quite a turn if you pointed this moment out.

you go to leave the room when you feel his hand grip onto your wrist.

'Someones feeling *bold* tonight.'

Your boyfriend never really grew out of the whole 'Dissapearing act hide in the trees' thing. Even in times of peace, he goes off to watch and brood.

You suppose you can't blame him. He's been through a lot and is still constantly working towards... welll whatever his goal is. He's pretty elusive about it, but you trust him implicitly despite his insistence. You should be more cautious.

But you feel at some point that it has to be unhealthy to live amongst the trees, stewing on past atrocities rather than fostering genuine connections with people. Something you won't let stand.

'Vylad! Vylad, come on, it's time for dinner!' You call walking through the woods, trying to lure your elusive lover out.

He does not come out immediately, but you can tell you're being watched. The tell tale Goosebumps and raise of unease in your chest, The Feeling of a rabbit being stalked by a wolf and the silence of the forest confirms to you that its a Shadow knight.

You let out a huff as you immeaditly clock the game he's playing.

Vylad likes to test your survival skills from time to time. Letting people in was hard for him. A million times more difficult with the romantic context between you. Sometimes, he needed to assure himself you weren't going to do something stupid and die.

'Fine! But this isn't tag this time! I promised Levin and Malachi we would be eating dinner with them and I don't want the food getting cold' you shout out, knowing full well if Vylad had his way he would be slipping around until either you physically restrained him or he took pity on you.

So you get to work hunting through the trees. Actively going towards what causes all your instincts to scream in protest.

You grip onto the tree and swing around to meet his Pine green eyes, looking back into yours.

'A real enemy isn't going to stick in one spot because you have dinner with your sons.' Vylads voice is muffled behind his scarf as you give him a deadpan.

You reach forward to loosen his scarf just enough to free his mouth.

He instantly assumes you just didn't hear him properly and goes to repeat himself. But you press your lips to his before he can... Vylad always takes a moment, surprised that you'd want to kiss him no matter how many times you have. But he always becomes incredibly passionate, kissing you like it could be the last time.

When you finally part for air that... one of you needs much more than the other. Hands still gripping his scarf, you reply.

'Yes, I know, and Im *very* greatful you did tonight now come on they are waiting' you laugh tugging him along with you back to the village.

Being with Gene means accepting that you never really know when he's gonna drop by, He is fond of you... that's the word he uses. But of course, his plans will always come first.

So, he kinda pops in and out of your life at random, spends Irene knows how long with you, then leaves for Irene knows how long again.

Rinse and repeat.

So you've learned better than to wait around for your hell born partner.

And today you need to go on a trip to the market.

You dont actually live in a Village, you live in a cottage a fairly short walk away from Nahakra.

You make sure to only bring enough coin for what you need and decide to get a covered basket to carry it in that you could keep hooked around your elbow. Trying to minimize the chance of being targeted by any members of the Thieves' Guild. And then you head out!

The walk and most of your shopping goes without a hitch!... the keyword is most.

You had been looking at some blueberries at a stall, You had read about a blueberry tart recipe and wanted to try it out, but with the addition of lemon. Unfortunately, blueberries need much more acidic soil than your plants could handle, so the market was your only go-to.

What's worse is that you apparently weren't early enough because all of the blueberries either were under or overripe, and the ones that were good enough for you to consider taking were way out of your price range.

With furrowed brows and a huff as you stare at the price before putting down the small carton to get your last few items. You're halfway to reaching a new stall when you hear shouting

'STOP you, little Theif!' Well. It is the capital of the Theives Guild. You dont pay it any mind.... until you feel someone harshly grip your wrist and yank

you squeal and grab the wrist of the Stall owner, holding you, trying to pry your arm free from his crushing grip all the while he is screaming obscenities and accusations at you.

Apparently, the blueberries you had been scrutinizing went missing, so he assumed you must have done it.

He's shouting about what the guards will do to you, that you'll be lucky to keep your hands all the while you try to defend yourself. Insist that you didn't do it, but he's ignoring you.

'No one stole anything.' The stall owner goes silent, Gene in the villages armor... somehow? He has one arm over his shoulder and his other hand pressed against the mans forehead, his voice eerily calm. 'You were straightening out your stall, and you knocked the carton over, remember?'

The stall owners eyes are empty. Completely devoid of original thought as he nods, slowly slurring out a yeah.

'Exactly' Gene continues, taking his hand away from the mans face, light slowly reappearing in the vendors eyes as he does.

You always have to suppress a shiver in your spine seeing Gene use his Magicks.

'Now, don't you think you should give this *poor* civillian a apolagy?' He finishes, his arm tightening around the other mans shoulder .

You start to protest, but the man hurriedly apolagizes as genes arm tightens once more,

'You accept that?' Gene asks you. You nod in response, feeling relieved when he lets the vendor go

'There we go all fixed, now why dont you head back to your stall huh?'

It always amazes you how Gene can sound so polite yet so... threatening. The man wisely chooses to run back to his stall.

Gene smirks at you when you're both alone again.

'Wow, theiving, huh? Didn't think you had it in ya Doll' he starts walking away, leaving you stammering for a few moments before you jog to catch up.

You insist you didn't do it, causing him to laugh and pull out the very carton of blueberries from his bag, much to your shock and horror.

'Yeah I know' he hums handing you the offending fruit 'Honestly those prices were *criminal* someone needs to put a stop to that man' he laughs as if he didnt nearly get you arrested???? The audacity???

You proceed to ask him what the *hell* is wrong with him??? You knew he was a criminal, but you had to *live* here! You nearly got dragged to the guards over blueberries!

The man has the *Gall* to look offended, leaning over, so he's at head level with you

'Really Y/N im hurt, I get you those little blueberries you clearly wanted so bad, *and* swooped in and saved you with that guy back there and this is how you repay me??? Not even a thank you for your *Knight in shining armor* Tsk tsk'

You are feeling a mixture of emotions, annoyance, the urge to appease, ..... and a strange warmth. For better or worse, this is the man you fell in love with, horrendous quirks and all.

You lean over and press a chaste kiss to his lips and mummering a small thank you.

He blinks a few times in suprise before smirking wide to egg you on or tease when he notices you rubbing the wrist that man had grabbed, while not bruised it was certainly discolored and sore.

His already lightless eyes darken...

Irene help that mans soul.

Having just arrived home from the market, you watch from the doorway smiling wide.

Jeffory and Abby are in the den playing pretend with swords. Abby is wearing a hood to show she's the villain shouting out and attacking her father.

You loved moments like these, where the Jury of Nine didn't need your fiancée and you all could just be a normal family together. No expectations or glaring preists looming over you.

Your broken out of your thoughts by Jeffory letting out a shout, holding the sword between his arm and side as if hes been stabbed, dramtically leaning backwards slowly and dropping to his knees monolouging about how evil would never win and he would find a way to save the kingdom even in death before fully laying down on his back and letting his head plop to the side with a dramatic groan.

you can NOT help but laugh at this, You love this man, but he is a SHIT actor, and... the idea of a Jury of Nine member defeated is kinda funny, even if it was just pretend.

That alerts both of them to your presence, Jeffory cracking open one sage green eye suprised, but smiles wide moving to get up and help with your basket when Abby whacks him in the head with a sword

'Gah- Hey!! Abby, not nice!'

'You're supposed to be dead! Lay Down!'

After a quick chastizing about using her words, he does as she asks, After all, he's never reeaalllly been able to say no to her.

She gets back in character, laughing manically and saying the kingdom will finally be hers! Then, walking away from her father laughing all the while

You're getting very caught up in the drama when Abby tosses off her hood and then walks back over to Jeffory's 'body' to gasp in horror

'No!! Sir Knight!!' She cries promising to go and get help when her eyes *lock* on you.

uh oh

She runs over to her toy box and brings you a toy crown whispering to you to put it on.

You obviously do, duh.

' Your Majesty!! Your Majesty!! Sir Knight needs your magical healing powers!! Hurry before it's too late!!' she calls, grabbing your hand with her little one to pull you over to where your fiance lays on the floor.

you hold back a chuckle as you kneel on the floor next to him. " Oh, Poor Sir Knight, I see what you mean, Miss Ah -"

Abby opens her mouth to share whatever wildly elaborate name she has setled on for the game when there is a knock on the door and the muffled shout of one of the neighborhood children.

'Abby!! Abby!!! We are playing pick-up sticks, and the winner gets a sachel of candy! come play!!'

double uh oh

There's a LOUD gasp from the girl next to you. Giant puppy eyes pointed to her father, letting out a series of high-pitched pleases.

he huffs, shaking his head lightly but letting her know she can go but to be back before the sun starts setting.

She runs off , and Jeffory gives a light-hearted eye roll at the attention span of kids moving to sit up when you gave him an amused look.

"I thought you were dead, Im supposed to revive you"

He looks at you with a mixture of confusion and amusment.

you lean down to kiss him, his eyes widening in realization and excitment.

his hands wind into your hair, cradling the back of your head, entrapping you in a loving and passionate kiss.

you cradled his face in your hands in turn, reluctantly turning away when your lungs started protesting, panting for a few moments before chuckling at him.

"Healed you~ Now come on, help me put away the produce," you coo to him, standing up and heading over to your basket, hearing him rushing over to you.

he is just insaciable <3

You always made sure to have Cadenza accompany you when traveling to Metelli.

Not only for her to visit her father and friends, but because your favorite activity with each other can only be done in her home village.

A short walk from Metelli is a HUGE lush wild flower field.

The very same fields that Cadenza used to frequent before you met.

Always setting aside a afternoon if not a day of your trip to devote to your girlfriend and the flower fields, Picnics, exploring, finding flowers that remind you of the other most, making flower crowns, and to end it all off lying in the field together.

Sometimes, you accidentally find yourselves waking up there the next morning, breaking out into hushed giggles and sneaking back to your group.

You're both sitting down in the flowers, fruit sandwiches rest on napkins at your sides, Cadenza carefully crafting a very intricate flower crown while you read your book aloud to her.

Some fantasy novel you're only half paying attention to, Irene your girlfriend is so pretty. it's no wonder that a village nearly went to war over her, Irene knows you would.

That's the thought that led you to stop reading and just watch her, waiting for her to look up from her craft.

She does after only a few moments, confused and ready to ask why you stopped when you rush forward, giving her a sweet yet quick kiss.

With that out of your system, you look back to your book to continue reading to her.

Cadenza has other plans though, after processing the pleasant suprise she squeals loudly and launches forward, pratically tackling you to the ground and peppering your face in quick adoring kisses, the type you can feel her smile through, full of laughs from both you.

Only after every inch of your face has been sufficently kissed does she properly connect your lips, Her long firey hair curtining over you, completely surrounding you in *her*

And there is no place you would rather be <3

[yakumtsaki]

Spice and Cyan are the last cousin-fuckers left standing and are proving impossible to break up. I'm inclined to blame the fact Sugar and June also had the hots for each other and passed these destructive genes on to these losers but whatever it is they're just annoyingly into each other.

Now I'm not gonna lie, I did almost waver cause I was like 'man you know what they're second cousins so at the end of the day truly who cares, maybe I should just let them stay together and create one Union super-bebe'.. and then I see this:

In case you can't tell from this amazing screenshot they have ONE BOLT. ONE. ALL THIS DRAMA OVER ONE BOLT ARE YOU KIDDING ME

-What is drama compared to someone you almost desire? -Oh baby, the mediocrity of my passion for you is too much to bear!

-This lukewarm hot tub water is the perfect metaphor for our love.. -Exactly, it's the water of the womb and we all know that's where that sole bolt is even coming from!

UGH. Also man the difference between your noses is UNREAL, now I'm more worried about that if you procreate than the incest.

-Hahahaha, as expected I'm the only one of this trash family that's in a non-disgusting relationship!

Felina no offense but you could afford to add some drama cause you've become boring af.

-People are sick of all this perverted nonsense! They want someone dignified and happily monogamous!

Ya idk sis, I mean look at Barth dislocating his entire spine as we speak:

-I SENSE BETRAYAL AGAIN. WHO DARES CHEAT ON ME NOW

-JIMMY, BACK IN THE ARMS OF MY COUSIN THAT I RIGHTFULLY STOLE YOU FROM. AND TO THINK I WAS GONNA MARRY YOU WHEN I WON THE HEIRSHIP

-You were??

-OF COURSE NOT

Bro I can't, the entire house hates Barth other than Meadow and her billion nice points and Spice who is his childhood bestie. Note that he and Sunset have that goddamn amour fou and are independently becoming un-enemies, which I'm NOT GONNA LET HAPPEN.

-Ok Barth, let's get drunk and make some reckless and sexy decisions!

SUNSET GODDAMMIT IT

-Why do you keep cockblocking us? You know our kids would be hot!

I DONT CARE

-Ya right! Don't act like you haven't thought about it!

IM NOT LISTENING TO THIS

-You know we would produce a hot, psycho turbo-Union! A little Jojo or Jojette, untainted by non-Union DNA, one freakshow to rule them all!! Look into your heart, you know it to be true!!!

ENOUGH, STOP TRYING TO SEDUCE ME WITH THE PROMISE OF COMICALLY INSANE OFFSPRING, SUNSET. EVERYONE FUCK OFF TO BED RIGHT NOW, GOODNIGHT

-AND GOOD MORNING, LOSERS

WTF. Why are you here we've paid our bills!

-BUT YOU HAVEN'T PAID THE INCEST TAX

-OMG THERE'S A FIRE🌞

-OMG THE REPOMAN IS HERE TO TAKE OUR SHIT

-OMG THE STREAKER KILLED OUR FISH

What??

-I JUST DON'T WANNA ADMIT IM STILL CRYING OVER BARTHOLOMEW

NOOOO NOT OUR BEAR STATUE WE'VE HAD IT SINCE GENERATION 1! PLEASE JUST TAKE ONE OF THE KIDS INSTEAD

-YOU SHOULD HAVE PAID YOUR BILLS

WE FUCKING DID

-PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU FLOPS

FUCK YOU, REPOMAN, WE'RE NOT FLOPS

-WAAAAAAAAH I CAN'T BELIEVE HE TOOK OUR BEAR

Oh great, now half these flops are in aspiration failure, that's just what the doctor ordered.

-OMG AND NOW THE OTHER PLANT IS ON FIRE

BRO WTF IS HAPPENING WE'RE CURSED

-WE ARE AND WE ALL KNOW WHO'S TO BLAME

-HE'S BEEN BAD LUCK SINCE HE WAS BORN

-Can you harpies take this somewhere else, I'm trying to get high here!

-KILL HIM

OK NO. No one's killing anyone, we're NOT cursed, ok?

-We're broke, afflicted with a bills glitch, fires keep starting and half the house is in aspiration failure!

Well let's be real, the broke part is on you.

-US??

You idiots are averaging a D each semester because you're too busy fucking each other, beating each other up or both..

..I mean freaking Jimmy is on academic probation, I have never gotten this before in all the years I've played this game, this is the worst college run of all time.

-WHAT IS YOUR POINT

My point is the bar is in hell so let's just get out of this run alive, ok? Now you kids make nice!

-Well, Failina, now that I'm looking at you up close I guess putting lipstick on a pig does work sometimes.

-For my next move, I'll shove my queen in your other eyehole.

See, now isn't this nice? And I think I figured out what caused the bills thing so everything should be fine now..

-THINK AGAIN BITCH

OH FFS

-I'M HERE TO FREE THIS NEIGHBORHOOD FROM YOUR TERRIBLE SPOKEN WORD POETRY

Ok you know what I'm actually fine with that one, take it- Um do I hear hearts??

UH WHAT????

-THAT'S RIGHT IM IN LOVE WITH KEA FOR NO CLEAR REASON

WTF

-We've been friends for a long time-

You have?? Man I really need to pay more attention around here.

-Yes well you can't help being useless!

Very true! Well please, continue, let me just call someone over-

-YOU LEFT THE HOT TUB OF LUKEWARM LOVE TO CHEAT ON ME???

Man I know, it's so terrible! Anyway-

-HOW DARE YOU BE UPSET WITH ME FOR CHEATING ON YOU

CYAN WTF LOL

-YASSSS BEAT HIS ASS UP BABE HE DESERVES IT

DOES HE?? Cyan you are one crazy bitch, I love it.

-I take after my mom! :D

Which one, they're both insane! :D

-What's it take to get your number? What's it take to bring you home? Hurry up, it's time for supper, order up, I'm hot to go🎵

Alright well Chapell karaoke seals it, Kea, welcome to the family!

-You mean it this time right, you won't fuck me over again like when I was engaged to Sophito?

LOL I forgot about that but no I'm certain this one is gonna work out, unless crazy ass Cyan goes back to one of her cousins

-What?

I said start planning the wedding!

[uraharasfavoriteexperiment]

i am a trans man and i have a carnal need for urahara do something about that please i dont give a fuck what you write, it could be monster sex i dont even care bro

i really wanna monster sex bcs same boo same (even down to the trans man part im a trans man and he drives me just absolutely positively rabid)

~ kitty cat

alpha(?)!kisuke urahara x werecat!male reader / fluff, smut in pt.2 content werecat!reader, werecats can shift into CAT cats [ wc ] 1422 (ps: read this!) please reblog fanfictions when you read one you like! likes do not help writers' algorithms!

kisuke urahara was a simple man... in legal terms.

he had never been to jail, had never been to prison, hell- he'd never even gotten a parking ticket, let alone a speeding ticket.

but when he met you, that all changed.

when yoruichi, urahara's dearest childhood friend (and also werecat), brought home the scruffy black stray, kisuke was immediately infatuated. he had another werecat, ichigo, who he was very close to, and ichigo immediately took a liking to you, which wasn't common (orange cats are very odd creatures.).

there was one part of the ordeal that kisuke was very fond of: yoruichi quickly began to think of you as a brother. she even shared her milk with you whenever kisuke gave it to her... that was the oddest part about the whole situation: she refused to share her milk with even ichigo.

now, werecats used to be a predominantly wild species. when humans discovered the cat-human hybrids, certain people (who yoruichi thought shouldn't be called humans) quickly realized they could manipulate the species' genes for a very specific use: sex.

the modifications eliminated many issues: romantic barriers between human partners, sexual lines that could be crossed between partners, and most notably (because most werecats seemed to be male), the ancient-standing issue of tension between hetero and homosexual individuals.

soon after their discovery, a system spawned that was very similar to what social media called the cat distribution system. a similar "system" cropped up in which encounters with werecats commonly ended in either a fuck or in most cases, someone bringing home a cute new friend.

additionally, most werecats tended to like being called things like "kitten," "good kitty," "pretty kitty," and similar affectionate little pet names. most werecats also either couldn't speak very well, or they simply chose not to- so there was usually very little communication involved with them.

kisuke learned very quickly, however, that this was not the case with all werecats- yoruichi and ichigo were rare cases, yes, but looking back on early memories with you, kisuke quickly formed a theory that sentient werecats gravitated towards handsome, perverted candy shop owners.

was it the candy? ichigo liked candy.

was it the milk? yoruichi liked milk.

or... was it the handsome, perverted candy shop owners themselves?

kisuke urahara was very fond of that idea... he had always liked cats, and cats had always seemed to like him.

~+~

kisuke groaned and rolled over onto his back on his futon, slowly opening his tired, storm-grey eyes. he yawned loudly, stretching his arms up int the air and making grabby hands for the ceiling. he heard a very slight sound of fur shifting against fabric, and his eyes immediately looked to the right, towards the sound.

"oh, hello yoruichi!" said kisuke, grinning. he sat up and threaded a hand into his messy blonde hair and ruffled it, yawning again.

"you're ridiculous." said a falsely deep voice next to the futon. kisuke grinned like a teenage dumbass, reaching over and ruffling the fur on the sleek, black british short-haired cat's head. she growled warningly, but of course kisuke didn't listen, and if you asked about this moment later on, yoruichi would say she probably should have scratched his eyes out.

yoruichi hissed, growling from deep in the back of her throat as she reached up and pawed aggressively at his hand. she backed up, her puffed up tail swishing violently back and forth and slamming sporadically against the wooden floor. she shook herself in a quarrelsome manner and hissed again, turning and burrowing under the waist opening of a black kimono, poking her head out of the top.

"stuff it, old man." she spat, shifting into her werecat form.

"no you stuff it, kitty." he playfully spat back, fake-flinching and chuckling when she hissed again and projectile-chucked a pillow at him violently.

"why've you woken me up, hm?" kisuke asks as he stands up and reaches for his striped green and white hat. he stretched again, slipping into a matching green and white-striped shawl-thing (hada doesn't know what theyre called heh), looking over at yoruichi expectantly, his eyebrows raised and his signature stupid grin starting to sneak onto his face.

yoruichi groaned, flopping backward onto the futon dramatically.

"ugh fine, i'll tell you," she says, "i found a stray werecat and i may or may not have brought him home."

kisuke grins, getting visibly excited at the idea of meeting another were.

"oh?" he asks, "where is he? i don't see him~"

"he's hiding somewhere in here but he's here."

"you should go get him! tell him i promise i won't bite~"

yoruichi rolls her eyes, getting up and stretching like a cat and starting lazily toward the door.

"i dunno if he's sentient but ok."

she did, however, go and fetch the new fluffball- you. she had to pick you and carry you, you were that shy. when she brought you into the room with kisuke, you fluffed up and hissed, scrambling onto yoruichi's shoulders and growling defensively.

"you didn't tell him, did you~" kisuke said in fake drama, rolling his eyes. but he didn't bother to smother the grin that accompanied the eye roll. he approached slowly, slipping out of his loud-ass japapese clogs in the process so as to attempt to make himself sound less like a threat. he relaxed the muscles in his right arm and hand, reaching his hand up to let the cat have a sniff.

(reader pov)

you hissed quietly, but still carefully extended your neck nonetheless. you risked a cautious sniff, recoiling defensively. you looked up and stared at the blonde man with calculating, clearly intelligent eyes for more than one moment, eventually shifting all four tiny little paws onto one shoulder of the cocoa-colored woman who had rescued you, carefully leaning out and touching your nose to the man's fingers, finally getting an good scent.

no threat... not now, at least.

you looked up at him again and made a short, quiet trilling sound. it was something similar to the noise house cats make when an idiot human wakes them up from a sun nap, and it made the man smile. you stared at him for a few seconds, thinking. then you poised for a pounce, jumping the one or two-foot distance between the man and the woman. you landed on the man's shoulder and butted your head against his temple, then sneezed and sniffed at his hat.

the man smiled again, reaching up and making a gentle, cautious attempt to scratch behind your ear. you butted your head into his fingertips and his smile turned into a joyous grin, and he started to scratch at that one spot, eliciting a completely unwarranted purr from the back of your throat. the man chuckled, gently cupping your small, feline head in his hand and rubbing your face, neck and ear in soothing motions.

your heart slowed down a bit and the purr you were producing got deeper, indicating to the man that you were becoming more comfortable with him. you reached around with your face and licked the palm of his hand, then hopped down onto the floor and burrowed under a blanket on a futon you had seen earlier, then quickly shifted into your werecat form, wrapping the blanket around yourself. you turned and looked curiously at him, tilting your head to the side, having decided to chance at asking him a question.

"what's your name?" you asked cautiously, your voice so quiet it was nearly a whisper.

(urahara pov)

kisuke smiled, walking over and sitting down next on the futon next to you. "i'm urahara kisuke." he introduced himself, making sure to keep his voice calm and quiet so as to refrain from startling you.

you looked at him and he looked back at you, a soft, gentle smile on his face as he watched you closely, waiting for you to respond. after a moment of thought, you carefully scoot closer to him, shifting onto your calves before giving a cautious, playful bat at his hand. he smiled- and all of a sudden the action seemed to be infectious, and you fell ill with it. a small smile inched its way into existence, slithering in small bits onto your face and making his heart soar for some reason.

interesting... he thought, he likes to play. ichigo and yoruichi just seem to want to be left alone, but this one is coming out of its shell... the thought made him smile again, and your smile widened into a grin.

fell victim to writers block but had to post and so theres gna b a pt.2~

© uraharasfavoriteexperiment.

[hballegro]

discussion of a religious song so dont read this if you dont want that but im not focusing really on the religious part anyway.

ask folks what they like about their favourite music.

just wanted to share cause its my mother's favourite christmas song;

my mother loves Little Drummer Boy above all christmas music. to me its always been a sort of 'its sweet and slow and i like it, one of the more tolerable religious songs' but nothing more, so i asked her why its her favourite. and her answer was along the lines of

'well, its just sweet is all. heres this little kid, hes got nothing, but he heard there was a king born and so he goes to see the baby, and he says 'im a poor boy too', and he doesnt have anything to give him, but he has this one thing he can do for him. he can play the drum for him. its small and its not much, but its what he can give, and so he does. and it works, cause the baby smiles. makes me teary every time'

and lemme tell ya. i got 0 of her crying-genes and i am now unable to maintain composure listening to that damn song. 'i played my best for him, then he smiled at me' i am weeping

[gamblersdoll]

ITS THE MATTER OF IT… chapter 3

tw: mentions of wounds, and having a larger chest.

the sweet smell of pancakes and maple sausage cooking in the morning is what woke everyone up, except megumi. his stomach wasnt wired like yuuji or nobaras.

you were a good cook for your age, your family having professionals cook whenever you werent. you learned from them though, because the thought of paying for food when you could just cook it from scratch isnt a great thing. you also found slight satisfaction from here the noises of delight from people eating your food.

except yuuji, yuuji was very vocal and sometimes messy when he ate your food. you would say something about manners, but alot of people dont inherit that gene.

“well damn, is it that good?” nobara asked, cringing from the syrup dripping from his plump lips.

yuuji nodded frantically, “hell yes! its perfect!” he exclaimed, digging into the pancakes you made. nobara and him bickered, which unfortunately woke megumi up and made him grouchy.

you had already wandered off, going to the end of the hallway to your bedroom that jujutsu high had granted you to have ever since your arrival. before you could even get there , yuuji had stopped you.

“thank you for breakfast! you have to teach me how to cook…” he awkwardly chuckled, putting his hand on the back of his head. something about yuuji he learned was he always burned food because his mind wanders. that boy had to have adhd, because how do you forget food is cooking until you see fire?

“most definitely.” you said flatly, opening your door so you could step in— until he pushed his way in.

“oh so this is your room? how cool! you listen to alot of bands huh? and you have a little salt lamp?” he rambled, looking around your room without asking. you didnt mind since hes been trying to actually get to know you, fortunately.

“ yeah, i do.” you said in your same flat tone. you wouldve grown annoyed when yuuji flopped on your bed, but you were in a good mood. you sat next to him, scrolling on your phone, you were fine until you werent.

“so.. ms reincarnated—“ yuuji started, until you spoke in a agitated voice.

“dont piss me off.” you said, rolling your eyes. “is that what you want to do?” you questioned.

“what? no! you look like youd get scary if you did..!” yuuji exclaimed, gulping. you side eyed him, rolling them again.

sukuna only listened from his domain, cheek resting on his knuckles.

today was her day.

……….

“fuck man! how the fuck did you lose the special grade?” nobara groaned, panting. megumi was supposed to exercise it but it randomly disappeared, causing more work for the four of them. you didnt care too much, your keen sense of hearing and smell was your clutch. nobara and megumi bickered, until you grew tired of it, you were only tired cause of your bust– all the real bitches get it, you thought.

“nobs, we can find it, but you fussin’ wont help us. me and yuuji will go one direction and you and megumi go the other.” you planned, everyone agreeing to go their routes. you and yuuji ran, until it got harder since your stamina was depleating.

yuuji caught on, had it been nobara he wouldve laughed, but he cared about you alot for some reason. he picked you up, speed increasing ajd you grew surprised, damn could he run. he had to be a athlete before.

you both did find the special grade, it still was going to be tough— it was always tough. but you loved challenges.

when it was in your favor.

after five minutes you were bruised, some cuts leaking red fluid and you were panting. you armed yourself again, thinking to use your domain, until the special grade was suddenly fearful, and then, dead. its head severed with its arms and legs. you questioned if it was your technique, but suddenly you werent hurt, nor sore? you had healed?! yuuji probably learned it before your arrival. you did feel his hand on your shoulder.

you went to turn to him, thanking him.

“thank you, yuu–“ you said, before you paused.

“you havent changed a bit, little one.” sukuna had said, looking into your brown pearled eyes.

your eyes widen, suddenly being on defense. you were already on it, but this time it wasnt a challenge, it was life or death if you fucked it up.

you stepped back, eyes probably deceiving you. no, it was sukuna, but yuuji was the body. you thought certain things couldnt worry you, but this did. where were nobara and megumi when you needed them? how could you not have sensed his presence?

“now now, no need to feel scared or worried. i wont harm you unless you piss me off or say something disrespectful towards me. but you already knew that, youve always been tatical and smart.”

you swallowed thickly, was he toying with you?

“lets just talk for a bit, okay?” he said, grinning at you.

honorable tags: @lisaaannna @coldbreadbouquetworld

anyone who wants to be tagged please dm or comment! shares and reposts are much appreciated so you can see more of my stories!

[yourtouchismidas]

How is Matty’s relationship with each of his other daughters ? We know Gigi and him have a special relationship with her being his mini me & his first baby but I wonder how he bonds with his other girls

gigi - like you say, they do have a special relationship because she is his oldest and made him a father. they have a more best friend type relationship than he does with the other girls, because he still felt like a child when he had her, even though he was well into adulthood. he talks to her like she is his mate and therefore she knows a lot about him and his life that the younger girls dont so much. rightly or wrongly, he relies on her for support and advice, like she is a little grown up. they also mercilessly tease each other.

shay - shay is matty's little dreamer baby so to bond with her he just plays elaborate games with her. he gets embarrassingly into them and the two of them will have storylines going for weeks and weeks, and things going on in the game that sounds like utter nonsense to everyone. he loves her imagination and shay's games often turn out to be metaphors for his songs. sometimes when is working for hours or on tour and he misses home, he can been seen pretend to pull out a wizard wand or access a secret world, just for a second, playing the games alone, just for a second, so he can feel closer to his daughter.

valentine- valley's so smart that matty sometimes worries she is out of his reach, that one day she will out grow him and think he is stupid. yet, she doesnt tease him like gigi, she adores that man with her whole heart. she tells him facts and shows him her drawings and her books whenever she can. he is very conscious she is the quiet one, so he makes sure to find her in crowded rooms and in the studio where all the other kids are running wild, and sit with her for a second and ask what she is doing or thinking about. valentine is matty's eye in the storm. she is his peace.

stevie - as naughty as she is, matty has a massive soft spot for stevie. she reminds him of a young him, hating authority and breaking the rules for the hell of it and he wants to foster that, in a way that maybe doesnt stress him out so much. stevie is also an excellent singer, and most cooperative when she is doing music. she features on her first 1975 song when she is ten years old. so this is what the do together. matty will pull out his guitar and grab stevie and say, singsong baby, and she drops whatever she is doing and joins him, telling him what to play and how to play it and having fun with each song. sometimes matty will also take stevie on "runs" where they go to the park and run through it, as fast as they can, yelling, until her little cheeks are red and she falls asleep in his arms on the way home.

lexie - she reminds matty the most of gigi, like his genes have come full circle, although the twins look more like you whereas gigi looks like matty. but in temperament she is similar, if a little bit softer and sweeter, and more childlike. as gigi grows up and moves out, lexie becomes his confidante, and they often look out together at the rest of the family and roll their eyes at the chaos of it all. lexie plays everything. she is very musically talented so she spends more time at the studio with him than any of the other girls. shes just a very sweet, very self aware little girl, who chats to him easily and calmly and holds his hand. she acts like a little adult at the studio, sitting calmly, watching and learning. matty finds her in her room practicing her instruments and asks to listen. she welcomes him with a smile. they usually end up jamming together.

[garbagequeer]

Can you help me im so confused how archie (and everyone listening to him) had those memories for his poem i thought everyone but betty and jughead forgot 😭

bobbyjean asked: Wait a second were those the good memories. the serial killer gene and jason’s corpse. and archie playing football in leopold and loeb juvenile detention center……

well imo you can work with different theories so like

they dont remember these things as things they lived themselves but they remember them as things tabitha showed them the first time they saw the riverdale memories (so like if they'd watched themselves go through these things in tv but not as if they happened irl for them)

goodbye riverdale is back to jughead's narration and jughead is unreliable he's just making shit up (this also goes with the theory that what jughead showed betty was not real but was a fabrication he made up for her as her dying wish was to relive those days with everyone as they were + the fake reality had plot holes because to be fair jughead was like 86 when he died he cant keep track of who remembers the serial killer genes and who doesn't he's busy)

narrator jughead seems to be in control of this episode more than he was before (we see him corporeally and there's 2 jugheads in the end) so the characters' lives have been rewritten to fit the narrative jughead wanted to tell so they remember because he does too and the story belongs to him and not to them (to me jughead is always afraid of abandonment and change so he keeps his stories ones where his friends don't leave or grow + he has been shown to find it hard to come up with anything other than stories about his friends in riverdale in s5 and as bunker/god jughead). for me this also fits with the idea of the characters and angel tabitha trying to break free and narrator/god jughead(s) not allowing it -> town won

they loved these memories they love cults and killing and corpses and gay juvie. the bad memories were like archie not getting his high school diploma or something

from a doylist pov (boring) this meant nothing about the story and was just an homage to their most iconic moments in the show for the audience and the crew. you could twist this a bit to be meta and make something up about the characters behaving as characters and talking willingly to an audience because they exist only in our eyes if you wanted

which are all fun ideas to consider and theyre not mutually exclusive (like it could be jughead taking over the narrative but it could be in a world he makes up just for betty so all the other characters are in the real sweet hereafter but betty went to purgatory pop's because she does remember it all and this prevented her from being able to leave it behind. also archie for sure would remember some of gay juvie he loved the gay parts of gay juvie he told me. and fangs probably had god times at the cult i mean he dated human kevin maybe a love for cults is what they had in common)

to me it stood out as a moment where i was like oh jughead is lying to us for sure. awesome. one last jughead lying to us and trapping us in the cycle forever for the road yippee

[pisscreant]

An open and needlessly explicit letter to the anonymous message in my inbox, RE: my carnal desire towards one (1) Lieutenant Double-Yfreitor Harrier Du Bois

Just. Just listen ok. Would Harry even get around to having sex with me? Probably not. Provably, he'd cry or call me a slur or both. Then he'd flee by running straight through my wall, leaving a Harry-shaped hole in the bricks looney-tunes style.

Even if he managed to pass that skill check, would he be stinky? Would he be his cringe, diseased and obnoxious self? Absolutely, and so would I.

You don't understand. I am consumed with lust and degeneracy, and it has been pent up in my virginial form for a decade. I've put myself at risk of worse diseases at the mere CHANCE of getting some action, and I'd fucking do it again for some Harry Du Bussy. There is A Chance. A Chance of something twisted within me getting sated. And imo it is worth the risk.

"you'd fuck a fence if it was white" oh oh I'm sorry! is the fence psychic? Does the fence have like ten guys in his head who might be able to find my g-spot with the precision of a team of NASA engineers? Would the fence maybe let me peg him, tug him around by his facial hair, let me put a nose hook on him, and call him a 'good pig'? Then fucking call me cooper the way I'm about to build the whole bloody enclosure.

And you know what? You underestimate me. You think a 28 year old wasian woman can't match the rank energy of Harry Du Bois? Buddy I have Issues that you wouldn't believe. I've had identity crises that you could not comprehend. My little hirstuite body has created Odours that would horrify even the most seasoned medieval plague doctor. And I dont even have the Body Odour Gene! I had to DIY this shit, dickhead! Signature blend! Im defying racism so hard thay not even BIOLOGY ITSELF has command over me!

fuck the double standard. so like I'm allowed to drool about big fat hairy milfs and their glorious old pussies, but suddenly when I desire some morally dubious whiteman hole I'M too much of a pervert??? Well I don't fucking care. I was always an equal opportunity pervert, and I always will be. I have rights. I have a right to express how much I want to go at Harry Du Bois like a bull elephant in musth. This is my fucken blog and I control what I write here.

If Kim doesn't fuck that sad little man, then I will.

[littleprincefan]

one thing that some little prince adaptations do that i really dont like all that much is portraying the rose as an adult woman while the little prince is still a little boy

the 1974 movie did this thing where all the nonhuman characters were portrayed as humans, the biggest examples being gene wilder as the fox and bob fosse as the snake

but they also cast donna mckechnie as the rose, and for some reason in this movie they made the rose a lot more manipulative and demanding than in the book, and if you listen to Be Happy that song's lyrics are like peak guilt-tripping 😭 she literally starts the song right when she told him to leave and he's saying goodbye, and the first lines are "be happy, forget that i have no one, and nowhere to go" like idk about everyone else but this song rlly strikes the wrong chord in me

this portrayal of her rlly messes with me because the whole point is that they both didn't know how to love because they were both too young, like she had barely blossomed before he left, and even though she doesn't treat him all that well she still realises her ways, that he left because of how she treated him, and on earth the little prince makes the conscious choice to go back to his planet because he realised this, and that she was unique in the whole universe to him just how he was unique to her.

if i were to adapt this book id make the rose stay a flower, but id have her voice sound as young as his, maybe a little bit older, but i rlly like the idea of them both being young and naive, and that they both need to understand what love really means and what it means to love another before yk. being together. idk i just dont like the '74 characterisation of the rose

[skrunglebeasts]

i was possessed and wrote this whole ass thing after reading about who was in the finals for @coolesthscharacter

TEREZI: TH1S H4S B33N 4 COLLOS4L W4ST3 OF T1M3. ROSE: Agreed. TEREZI: UNO ROSE: Swap card. Give me your hand. TEREZI: B1TCH TEREZI: DONT BOTH3R. YOU W1N ROSE: On two fronts. Looks like the poll lines up perfectly with the results of our little time waster. TEREZI: OF COURS3 TH3Y D1D TEREZI: 1M L34V1NG ROSE: Don't enjoy yourself too much. I'll be moving on to hand the win over to Roxy. ROSE: Not that she deserves it any more than I do, but I figure it'll be a kind gesture. TEREZI: H4V3 FUN W1TH TEREZI: HUH ROSE: What? TEREZI: DONT M1ND M3 TEREZI: 1 JUST SM3LL SOM3TH1NG FUNNY TEREZI: H3H3H3H3H3 >:] ROSE: Ominous. ROSE: I'll see you later. TEREZI: 1 WONT ROSE: Aren't we past blind jokes? TEREZI: Aren't we past typing quirks? ROSE: Don't… ROSE: Do that. ROSE: It's weird. TEREZI: TH4TS K1ND OF MY WHOL3 TH1NG TEREZI: L4T3R LOS3R

Rose and Terezi exit in opposite directions, not bothering to spare a backward glance. Terezi's chipper mood bothers Rose for only the briefest second before she puts it out of her head. The troll loves mind games.

As she steps into the next room for the final contest, she considers a dozen different metanarrative consequences of this sort of contest and what that means for the continuity of everything. When the contest ends does she disappear? Is she shunted into the ultimate self who's story will never be completed? What does it mean for her to have even gotten this far, beating out even Davesprite. Has the cultural gestalt really shifted so much that a sad ghost boy version of Dave is no longer appealing? And is shs to be considered seperately from each of the entities that embody her? What is she? Who is…

Wait.

A silhouetted figure stands against the lights of the inexplicable room. A single blue light shines from the head…

ROSE: Is that fucking Sans? SANS?: nope!!!

The figure steps forward from the convenient shadowing and reveals a familiar, red-clad troll with a messy mass of black hair. In her hands is a skull with a blue light shining from the socket that Aradia is using to obscure her face. Rose sighs, a bit annoyed Roxy hadn't made it here. Of course this is what Terezi thought was funny.

ROSE: Hello, Aradia. ARADIA: hi rose

Her chipper tone is punctuated by the sound of the skull hitting the ground as she tosses it aside.

ARADIA: funny, right? ROSE: A little played out, honestly. ARADIA: come on. you of all people shouldnt say anything about "played out"~ ARADIA: your post-canon arc is just copying the one i had as a starting point and recycling it ARADIA: not that i mind! ARADIA: i find it flattering ARADIA: after all my old story has good ARADIA: b0nes ARADIA: to build on ROSE: Make up your mind about how you're supposed to sound. ARADIA: hmmm ARADIA: n0pe 

Aradia puffs out a breath to blow some of her curling hair out of her face.

ARADIA: So did you have fun getting here? ROSE: Not really. ROSE: Your ancestor flirted aggressively with me, then got mad that I called her boring. ARADIA: yours was very nice and quite interesting ARADIA: shes both very cool and very much a dork ARADIA: i can see where you and dave get it ROSE: Hey. ARADIA: though you clearly take more after dirk so you got a higher percentage of dork genes ROSE: … ROSE: Moving on. ROSE: Vriska was Vriska about the whole thing and got upset that no amount of luck could save her from being the icon of Homestuck's ire. ARADIA: i dont think thats what it was at all ARADIA: maybe she was boring, too ARADIA: after all ARADIA: how can you find anything exciting about someone who has done nothing wrong? :) ROSE: … ARADIA: 0u0 ROSE: … ROSE: Okay. ROSE: Well. ROSE: Sollux didn't really want to interact with me and spent the whole time with headphones on and listening to a podcast. ARADIA: hehe, sounds like him ROSE: Davesprite was monumentally awkward and seemed to be in the midst of a breakdown about not being "really real" because Davepetasprite^2 was in the running. ARADIA: sounds like him, too ARADIA: first mistake of anything like this is attempting to apply any level of canonicity to it ARADIA: better to just calm down and enjoy yourself ARADIA: but i suppose he wouldnt be davesprite or any kind of dave at all if he didnt appeal to the sad boy loving demographic ROSE: Are you going to keep interrupting me? ARADIA: probably ROSE: I played Uno with Terezi. ROSE: That's it. ARADIA: neat! ROSE: Let me return the question: Did you have fun getting here? ARADIA: i did! ROSE: … ROSE: Any details? ARADIA: no ARADIA: ill leave those to your imagination ;) ROSE: That's a copout answer and you know it. ARADIA: youd be surprised ARADIA: a little goes a long way ARADIA: lets focus on the now ARADIA: how do you want to do this, rose? ARADIA: among the multitudes of possibilities, the many threads that spread out before us ARADIA: which do you wish to solidify as true? ROSE: Maybe I don't want to pick. ROSE: Maybe I also want that to be left to the imagination. ARADIA: then ill pick! ROSE: What ROSE: But ROSE: Your entire continued existence hinges on one fact and that is that you are a voyeur. A perverted observer who has no interest in dirtying your own mitts as you passively allow the narrative to continue on it's way. You do not intervene. You don't take action.

She screws up her face in baffled disgust and stabs one finger in the air toward Aradia.

ROSE: You don't choose.

Aradia's persistent, placid smile widens slightly. It still doesn't reach her eyes.

ARADIA: not choosing is a choice ARADIA: i think thats something youve always struggled with ARADIA: a lot of people do ARADIA: choosing no action at all is still an action ARADIA: existence itself comes packaged with the burden of existing ARADIA: by simply being you are acting ARADIA: your existence means nothing ARADIA: your actions are meaningless ARADIA: but they are actions nonetheless

She turns on one foot, kicking off to float up and rotate gently and slowly in the air, as if attempting a slow motion pirouette. The languid motion controlled and beautiful. It makes Rose want to throw something at her just to ruin the image in the same way a child wants to crack a perfect sheet of ice just to see it come apart. ARADIA: and my choice has always been pretty transparent ROSE: Bullshit. ROSE: Your motivations, your reasoning, your purposes. All of that has always been obfuscated. You hide behind platitudes and more plot critical figures, but you never seem to be willing to show your hand. No one knows what your fucking deal is. ARADIA: hehehe ARADIA: thats just plain wrong ARADIA: ive destroyed more lives to save a single session than you could imagine in both your attempts to break yours or to do whatever it is you were doing with dirk ARADIA: ive been a ghost, a ghost frog, a robot ARADIA: even in that period of time you say i only observed i still decided to fight lord english for the fun of it ARADIA: and i lived :) ARADIA: what happened when a version of you tried to attack lord english? ROSE: Mgh. ARADIA: theres a reason im here ROSE: And what reason is that? ARADIA: same as it ever was

Aradia floats up, arcing her back until she's hanging upside down, arms and legs hanging limply. She's still smiling. It still doesn't reach her eyes.

ARADIA: i mostly want to see what happens when this whole place breaks apart. :) ROSE: … ROSE: I want to kick your ass. ARADIA: then do it ARADIA: or dont ARADIA: either way ARADIA: i think youre gonna have a bad time ARADIA: CUE MY FIGHT MUSIC! ROSE: You motherfucker.

[br1ghtestlight]

love how bob seems to be completely out of it for this entire episode. like gene and tina are barely following along with linda and louise's insane reverse psychology game but bob is GONE like he's not present at the dinner table he isnt even part of the family. he just grumbles when linda tells him to but he isn't saying shit 😭😭

TINA AND GENE ARE SO SILLY IN THIS EPISODE LMAOO head empty zero thoughts. they are nothing more than pawns in louise's game

bob is correct for wanting to bribe them with candy that would literally work. like they are simple people

WHAT IF THEY TURN INTO LITTLE DELINQUENTS WHO DONT LISTEN TO AUTHORITY??? linda do you know who your kids are they are already WELL past that point especially louise. kinda funny that linda in this episode has the exact opposite viewpoint to how she was w/ louise in amelia. not a criticism of the episode its just ironic

BLACKMAIL

ARE YOU GONNA KILL US LMFAO

gene is SO BABY in this scene im gonna need to take screenshots later bcuz he is the smallest boy. in the world or maybe ever

back when we were children?? says the nine year old child

love how this episode is told through a bedtime story its very creative formatting and kinda unique feeling compared to the three story type of episode :)

MR FISCHOEDER APPEARANCE thank god we always need more fischoeder in our lives. i was worried we would have to wait weeks or even months to see him again

love big g. is that perhaps Grandma or Gloria

ZEKE AND JIMMY JR this is the big win for people who like seeing secondary characters. this episode already has more of them than like the Entirety of season 13 zeke and gene are so cute. their friendship is everything

THEY SEEM NICE TO ME AND LOVING I WANNA SAY AND WISE LIKE THEYVE GOT ALL THIS WISDOM TO PASS ON ABOUT LIFE AND THE WORLD 😭😭😭 lmao zeke saying that bob and linda are loving and kind is kinda sweet even though i know its technically bob and linda saying that about themselves. i do think zeke has a positive view of bob and linda Tbh

YOU GUYS SEEM LIKE YOU WORK SO HARD ALL THE TIME AND YOURE DELIGHTFUL........

new jimmy jr lore: he has a small bladder?

BOB AND LINDA GIVING EACH OTHER PIGGYBACK RIDES <3 so cute

rudy AND jessica spotted

AAWWWW ITS OUR JOB TO PROTECT YOU they love their kids so much :(

MARSHMALLOW APPEARANCE WTF??? new voice actor too :D i thought if she was gonna be in any episode it would be the bachlorette episode but its kinda funny she's just randomly in a western. its where she belongs

wait did i die?? no you were just being dramatic :/

I DONT KNOW WHY I THOUGHY MR FISCHOEDER WAS GONNA SERIOUSLY SUGGEST TO USE REAL BULLETS mf just shoots a bunch of kids. i mean he would do that honestly

AWW BOB SPECIAL INTEREST MOMENT he likes cooking ^_^

everything i do i do it for you 😭😭💕

LINDA ACTUALLY CRYING THIS IS GONNA BREAK MY HEART wtf i wasn't expecting this episode to actually get sad. what the hell </3 louise making her mom cry.....

"even though its really cool for moms to get angry and frustrated and cry in front of their kids"

this is weirdly reminding me of mother daughter lazor razor?? linda saying that she wished louise liked her and then louise saying wait you think i dont like you. their relationship is so weird and complicated but louise DOES love and respect linda and thinks she's really cool and fun!!! i wont hear otherwise idc

ONE OF OUR CHORES WAS TO LIGHT GRANDPAS CIGARS LIKE IN OUR MOUTHS??? LMAO WHAT THE FUCK LINDA why is this getting like weirdly serious is every episode gonna be like this now. are they just a little bit traumatic to watch every single time (also john roberts did A GREAT job voicing in this episode especially this ending scene)

MOSTLY BECAUSE OF TINA RIGHT AND GENE why did i literally start laughing loudly when she said that. god i love louise so much

aww they're babies <3 their relationship is the sweetest. you'll the toughest little cutie in prison

LIKE I SAID CANDY WAS LITERALLY THE SOLUTION those kids will do anything for some candy we all know this. we've seen the show before

gene its not even a question you WILL play coachella someday baby boy. you could probably do anything you wanted

GLORIA APPEARANCE i mean i dont like her but its been a few seasons since she was around. hello gloria is al dead

wait why does gloria have big ass badonkadonks..what who said that

aww the babies all asleep <3 little sweethearts

THIS EPISODE WAS SO FUN AND CUTE??? like genuinely a great episode that was heartfelt AND funny and had a really interesting story element to it as well. louise and linda episodes are always great and i love linda talking about how hard it is to raise good people and how much pressure is on them (and it makes sense that she would be more stressed about making them do chores vs bob because it was her mom who was pressuring her. big bob doesnt give a FUCK) a very fun start to hopefully a great season!!!!

[t4tdanvis]

Dante selfcest rant 👀 👀

-@gendervoid-zane

im going to shove a couple (read: many) posts ive previously made about this here and then rant about it MORE bc im MENTALL ILL!!!!!

now AHEM

u see this could work with mcd dante ending up in the mys universe OR mys dante ending up in the mcd universe - or even they go back and forth between both!! either way could be very interesting and silly

with mcd dante ending up in the mys universe, it would be very funny to watch him try to figure out what the Fuck is going on bc mf has no idea what a phone or a computer is and is just so fucking confused. at first mys dante is more focused on going "hey wanna play video games!!!" to stop and process that mcd dante doesnt even know what a video game is. and then seeing mcd dantes confusion at Literally Everything he decides to sit down and try to explain things (unfortunately mys dante is Dumb - fortunately mcd dante is equally Dumb so mys dante going "this is a phone... it does... stuff.... you can call people!! idk how they made it able to do that tho dont ask me :D" is good enough for him)

on the other hand, with mys dante ending up in the mcd universe, itd be even Crazier because mys dante (who is used to having the internet and a car and big cities etc) is now stuck in the medieval era. thankfully mcd dante is here to help!! except he does a horrible job of helping bc he just goes "well im sure he'll figure everything out!" and then hands mys dante a sword - and is shocked when he ends up getting injured. mys dante doesnt mind because running around and throwing himself into danger is fun (especially when he gets to do that with a "friend" (read: boyfriend who he hasnt figured out hes dating yet))!! mys dante is also Struggling because adhd meds dont exist yet and his brain is completely fried and he can barely function until zoey figures out how to make potions thatll help. which leads to mys dante bouncing off the walls and mcd dante having to practically drag him to bed every night to get him to go to sleep, until mys dante Finally is able to function properly again

and, of course, the inherent romantic comedy of "i cant be in love with this other version of myself nope nope nope- oh god the other version of me is hot". the first time they kissed they stared at each other for a solid five minutes before mcd dante went "so uh.... yeah....." and mys dante just went "that was like... kissing myself. haha"

they are both Dumb and do not know how to function correctly around each other. they are mischievous silly little guys who cant stop getting into trouble and getting injured and doing stupid shit (but its ok bc their friends somehow keep them from getting themselves killed). and also they definitely tried to make out in a tree but ended up falling out of it and getting hurt. and at one point they tried to make out underwater and somehow didnt realize how stupid of an idea thatd be until they almost drowned. theyre gay and silly and dumb ur honor

this post was uhhhh way longer than id expected but thats ok ty for listening to me rant sorry it took a bit to type all this LOL

[elkkiel]

You are welcome for the discussion <3 im just always glad to see st fans who are mature about sexual topics, and sometimes ill see stuff that makes me feel unwelcome as someone who reallyyy loves the sex appeal in the band/their music and it being a big factor of my appreciation of them. Im not actually offended at all by the term baby making metal and i get surprised by the vitriol people have towards the term. Art can be sexual but also be meaningful in manyyy different ways, i can appreciate the many layers of the music and ves's emotional vulberability in his art while also not acting like hes an infant who accidentally put sensuality in his music yknow (emphasis on SOME of the music, no im not saying atlantic or blood sport is sexy because just no)? I just feel like with how much personal attachment people have to the band (because yeah the music is SAD and ves has obviously been through awful things so i get being protective or being legit triggered by peoples hornier interpretations) things can get out of hand quickly in spaces ive observed in the fandom. Though perhaps ive just observed particularly bad places in the fandom in all fairness, im pretty new here and all having been listening to them for 2-3 months now. Tumblr doesnt seem too bad but ive seen stuff on twit that really angered me with the insults being thrown around and stuff that honestly seems infantilizing to ves (no, dont sexually harass him. Ive seen vids where people screamed "daddy" at him and.. ew. But like, i doubt hes offended by people having hornier interpretations on various songs as long as you dont get downright absurd and weird about whatever hes been through irl). Im rambling but i have Many Thoughts, genuinely didnt mean to have a long discussion but oops it happened. Thank you for discussing with me, kissing you on the mouth too (if youre cool with it of course lol)

If we're all in horny jail, Vess is the warden lol. Like he's the king of sexy fanservice and we're all just here soaking it in (darling? I think we've saturated 😳). To clarify my earlier answer, I loooooove me the sex appeal side of the music. It's just not why I'm a fan, if that makes sense. I'd be no more or less into them if Vess was fully clothed and decided to wear underwear for once (but I'm definitely not complaining about his current... attire loooool. don't search anything related to II on my blog it's embarrassing and I would be a total hypocrite to say that all sexualization is wrong.) It's totally normal to associate the music with sexuality considering, ya know, like a good chunk of his discography is sensual in some way. Bro literally wrote a song about vore as a romantic metaphor. If anything, it's a little unusual to insist that the music isn't sexual.

I'm not annoyed by any of the thirsting on a general level, just when that's people's only takeaway from the music (again, I would be incredibly hypocritical to take a hard oppositional stance lmao). But, that's also my personal opinion and not an objective judgement. I can't expect everyone that heard the summoning on tiktok to deep dive into the lore and discography, so baby making metal is just the only impression some people have lol. And that is okay no matter how I personally feel about it.

It's one thing to be a little miffed about booktok claiming Vess as their sex icon (referring to the reasons in the last ask), it's another thing to get huffy on his behalf about things that YOU'RE uncomfortable with. It's something that twitter fandoms overall seem to really struggle with. They're adults; if they were uncomfortable with contextually-appropriate thirsting, they can assert that boundary themselves. Again, I was in the dream smp fandom on twitter since 2020—the aggression with enforcing boundaries on the person they're a fan of is super unnecessary and, if anything, totally disrespectful as well.

In my experience, the Tumblr community tends to be a little older on average, so the discussion here is generally more mature and level-headed. Obviously you'll get a few dickheads in the bunch, but everyone here is pretty chill even if they disagree. The ability to articulate your thoughts in long-form text posts makes for a more rational medium for discussion imo. Honestly, twitter is a bit of a waste of time if you're looking for a positive, proper fandom experience. It's a platform optimized for rage engagement and echo chamber discussion, neither of which make for positive community building.

I'm starting to ramble and lose the plot a bit too lol. Also I am down to make out anytime anywhere. I'll bring the water bottles if you bring the toothpaste (nothing more intimate than scrub-a-dub-dubbing the chompers pre-smooch sesh 😘🩷)

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

Umineko....

episode 1, part 4

(content warning: i will be talking about a child getting hit by her mother)

battler you are so damn late to the party. everyone else has tried to solve the gold riddle for two years now and got bored with it but its new and fresh to battler!!!!!

hes a little moe sometimes

I LAUGHED ABOUT THERE BEING A GOLD CHASE RIDDLE but its pretty engaging now that im here.

THERES A SWEETFISH RIVER RIGHT THERE!!!!

^ serious remark by the way. i think this is meaningful and could genuinely be the mentioned river.

anyway, the riddle calls for eleven "sacrifices" in total. whether those are living beings or or objects or what have you.

thank you maria. i am not disturbed.

FUNNY how there are twelve family members in total. this could perhaps develope into some sort of battle royal scenario. then again, the servants and doctor are playing too, at least in theory. i am included in the riddle, too. maybe ill die as well!

if anything happens to maria. i dont know what ill do. cry maybe. i entirely cant judge how cruel/tasteless this novel could be in the future. if you Gotta harm a little guy, at least be clever and meaningful and tragic about it, you know? at the very least she seems to know enough about witches to defend herself. idk man, i trust her knowledge. she has her grandfather genes. somehow. LISTEN WOULD SHE RECEIVE SO MUCH ATTENTION FROM THE NARRATIVE IF SHE WASNT CORRECT.... maybe its all red herrings though.

i wonder if kinzo went through all these riddle steps before. i wonder if the earthquake was related, if he had been betting on a wonder that would make him the head of the family.

battler you are the realest person ever

btw rosa hits her child!!!! but not as badly as her father probably hit her!!!!! there is definitely a history of intergenerational violence here, emotionally but physically as well. very striking about the scene are two things: 1. no one explained to maria why her mother wants her to change her behaviour and every hit enforces it, makes it worse, its a downward spiral. 2. the enviroment accepts it and does not intefere, save for battler who is still an outsider of sorts, and he is quickly taught to not involve himself. george, who was usually kind and soft and amazing around maria, says it will be a kindness to act like this never happened, as to not embarrass her. this means purposeful ignorance and therefore acceptance.

anyway, irreparable damage. and now maria is beatrices messenger. thats what happens.

so here she is. apparently. the narrative REALLY wants to built up anticipation to a point where its overdoing it and ruining what tension it created. but i trust it to be satisfying in the end. so far i really enjoyed the interpersonal intrigue and pacing of conversations after all. but i yet struggle to make out how mysterious the storytelling is trying to be and how much thinking i am supposed to do.

BATTLER IS SO NOT TAKING IT SERIOUSLY THOUGH... its so funny. he really doesnt give a fuck. beatrice is a funny troll to him, hired by his grandfather, or perhaps a scam artist. she has also clarified that the contract she has with kinzo, which would allow her to collect everything he owns, is off, should someone find the gold. so suddenly everyone is friends again!!!!! YAY kyries working theory is that beatrice is the friends we made along the way (one of the people in plain view, just under a pseudonym) which is really solid. thats the most plausible explanation for them right now. its very cool that she gets to do a whole detective monologue on it.

this is just a little game to them. heart emoji

at the very least, there is a new 'furniture' development: it might also just refer to the fact that the servants are to be passed along to the whoever solves the riddes, alongside the mansion, as if they are simply furniture pieces within it. tools at disposal. the only reason i cling to this is bc how often this specific phrasing it brought up.....

everything is about to go to shit so i am ending this post here. but my god. its about to happen, i think. kill rend maim