#do u guys like the fanfic i dont have the skill to actually write
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if i said i was normal about this idea would. would u believe me
#❄.txt#guess what: im not normal about this idea#vylad wanting to clean up genes wounds but 1 gene wouldnt let him and 2 thatd make everyone really suspicious#itd also make gene suspicious that vylad actually cares about him. which would entirely ruin vylads plan#eventually (like. after about 8 months of visiting and talking) vylad comes in when gene is half asleep#theres blood running down genes face and he has a really bad bloody black eye#vylad fucking Panics and immediately rushes over to help clean him up while asking what happened#gene is just like 'i dont want to talk about it' and vylad just goes 'okay' and continues cleaning up genes wound#they just kind of sit there with vylad hugging gene (after a couple mins of vylad trying to figure out where to hug him where it wont hurt)#after maybe ten minutes gene starts talking about dante#vylad just sits there listening as gene breaks down rambling about how much he misses his brother and how he wishes he could go back#eventually genes just like 'i dont think i can ever make up for what i did. im irredeemable. ive hurt and killed so many people. this is#only karma' and vylad just. sits there. silently. because he feels the exact same way about himself and doesnt know how to respond#after a few minutes he says 'sometimes you cant make up for things. sometimes you just have to move on and do better'#gene responds by falling asleep in vylads arms#a few days later vylad is like 'alright gene were getting you out of here' and has to basically drag gene out a window#'but i-' 'shhhhh. be quiet' 'but-' 'gene. shut up. im saving you whether you like it or not' '... ok'#vylad goes from 'i can fix him (i cannot)' to 'I FIXED HIM 🥳'#well. he hasnt fixed the Trauma and Guilt but that can wait :>#do u guys like the fanfic i dont have the skill to actually write
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What makes a tlt au work for you? Do u have any favourites out there/that you’ve thought of?
its hard because it can go down to the writing! i have a huge bias for things that put focus on the characters acting awful and driving the story forward- if a story has a plot thats great, but its the difference between "gideon and harrow keep meeting up at parties and fall a little bit in love every time" and "gideons angry she lost her childhood to the cult so she attends a party with the tridentarii to shotgun adolescent experiences, and harrowhark, frustrated that gideon is pulling on her metaphorical leash, follows to stalk her". the former retains a 5+1 fic format and is more bite-size, while the latter puts more focus into their growth as characters. im not great at articulating what i like specifically, but ill put my favorite fics below:
what if nona was dogs tugs at my heart: its post-canon, slice-of-life, and has a unique concept (said in the title). i judged a book by its cover because i thought the premise seemed too silly at first but ive been made a fool and its pet clown. it feels so true to nona the way its about all the things nona loves and how she gets to explore the world through new eyes. i love the way it explores characters softening up and getting hurt through a third person pov
we have always lived in the apartment by @thatneoncrisis i keep saying this but for the love of GOD guys this au is so good it makes me cry and feel such a deep catharsis from it. it takes gideon and harrow and the ninth as a cult and explores their struggle to adapt to a modern society when noone ever gets a break (WOW ITS JUST LIKE IN REAL L-). quinn writes the sides of griddlehark i think go overlooked in fanfic often: their codependency, their tendency to lash out when theyre defensive, their mutual paranoia and different coping mechanisms, harrows psychosis and gideons bitterness, their relationships to each other as being the only other person who really understands what the other suffered through. god. i feel lightheaded.
"but SAM, i dont like angst but i want to see this writing!" read gap between a tragedy and a comedy
"SAM, i also like when gideon and harrow are horrible because theyre maladjusted teenagers! but i want more antics where the characters drive things forward over angst!" read whats eating gideon nav
you just aint receiving is one of my FAVORITE modern aus of all time (and i heavily recommend the authors other fics as well!) if you really want to see how much i love this fic the fact that my comments take up the entire phone screen probably says a lot. its hard to put it concisely: it keeps harrows air of misanthropy and cruelty but redefines it as the result of her upbringing and personal struggle to live in a university while dealing with a backpack of mental illness and frustration. it changes gideons personality as the daughter of john gaius in a way that makes sense having her grow up with johns middling parenting skills and getting everything she ever wanted (connecting it back to kirionas personality in ntn!). it brings in side characters (specially palamedes. my beautiful boy palamedes) in ways that compliment harrow and gideon but not so obviously that they only exist to be supports. they have their own lives and ideals. its a modern au that brings in the boiling politics of johns cult uprising once again in a really novel way
semi charmed kinda life by @griddlebait. jesuchristo and all his middle names this fic is GREAT for you if you want a slice of life, coming of age type modern au that explores what its like for gideon and harrow if they actually got the space to see who theyd become outside of the stifling fate tlt has for them. as far as modern aus go im usually very hesitant to read them because im afraid modernizing the characters takes features away from their core but i really love and respect the way the author treats the 69ers with care and draws distinct lines that shows me how their grow and change while keeping a line to the anchor. also they write HIDEOUS (complimentary) PINING. DISGUSTING. some of these chapters were so chock full of dyke drama that they made me nauseous and whimsical. i think once a friend said this fic felt like if gh could be reincarnated and i like that descriptor a lot
til the cows come home is another postcanon fic that made me feel sick and crybabyish about it- i would definitely recommend it if you want to explore a happier ending with griddlehark! with this and what if nona was dogs the thing i like most about them is that they mix up vulnerability with pain and fear, so it feels more lifelike that way if that makes sense. i lost my taste in fluff fics over time but when its interspersed with struggle and characters causing problems because they cant cope with themselves it feels much more earnest and raw
this became very long. im not sorry
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This stupid "Your Name" Bucktommy AU won't leave my brain, and while I don't have enough faith in my writing skills to actually write the damn thing (and it would be my first fanfic... ever?? and that's a project that seems a bit too big for me lmao), I DID write down what I'm picturing some of the "rules" Buck and Tommy have for each other while in the other's body. Mostly just for fun. (Because Tommy would be switching in 2006, the iPhone does not exist yet, so all of his notes are written in an actual physical journal. All of Buck's notes would be on the Notes app of his phone)
TOMMY: 1) Evan, stop running into burning buildings when you don’t have to while in my body. If I wake up in a hospital bed for the fifth time this month, I might actually lose it.
its part of the job to save as many ppl as possible. also u don’t even feel the pain when i get injured in ur body.
You’re right, I don’t. Unfortunately, the pain from having a wooden beam fall on you doesn't just magically go away when we swap. Just... be more careful? Please?
fine. i’ll try and keep ur hospital visits to a minimum.
2) Can you stop flirting with people on calls? Or at the very least give them your number and not mine? In the last week alone my contact list has nearly doubled because you keep giving people my number.
dude its not my fault you’re more popular while i’m you. just think of it as me being ur wingman! how u dont have a girlfriend is beyond me btw. hot chicks love firefighters and ur a good looking dude
Jesus Christ, Evan. For the last time, I’m single by choice.
3) Don’t shower while in my body
already dont
4) Don’t go to the bathroom while in my body
done
5) In fact, unless you’re at work, don’t change any of my clothes while in my body.
fair
6) Do you really need to spend so much of my paychecks on cooking supplies? I have enough pots and pans already.
whats the point of a pantry if its half empty. be thankful ur getting actual food now via my leftovers instead of the utter tragedy that was the state of ur fridge when we first started swapping places.
7) Don’t make a scene while at work.
your boss sucks ass and his stupid orders are going to get people killed. im not gonna listen to him if hes making bad calls while lives are on the line
Evan.
8) Don’t pick up the phone when my dad calls.
got it
BUCK: 1) quit going to eddie’s basketball pickup games. he keeps inviting me while i’m in my own body and its getting harder and harder to come up with excuses as to why i can’t go. it's kinda awkward.
I thought you’d be more grateful, Evan. You’re the coolest guy on the court when I’m you.
2) are you making movie references when ur me? bc chim keeps asking when i got so “cultured” and the other day maddie asked when i watched the princess bride.
You haven’t seen the Princess Bride? I’m leaving you a surprise for tomorrow. Check your couch when you wake up.
did you spend my OWN money on a dvd??? i don’t even own a dvd player. i own every streaming service imaginable.
3) keep the finger guns to a minimum?? idk why you do them so much but both hen and chim have said smth abt it
4) if u get a call from someone called connor or kameron on my phone just let it go to voicemail its personal stuff and i'll deal with it
Evan, you could have told me you agreed to be a sperm donor yourself. Finding out because Connor and Kameron showed up at the fire house was more of a shock than finding out over these memos would have been.
they did what?????
5) don’t talk to my parents
Done.
6) No rule about undressing?
dude idc. i’m not gonna stop you from taking a piss in my body if u need to. as long as you like. don’t have sex with someone while you’re me? oh wait hang on i DO have a rule about undressing
7) DON’T HAVE ANY RANDOM HOOK UPS IN MY BODY.
Wasn’t planning on it, but good to know.
#if anyone DOES actually wanna write this au go ahead#i probably wont myself for reasons stated above#tommy kinard#evan buckley#bucktommy#911 abc#911
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just yap about my most recent work (how i made it, the alternate plots or endings), and my future posts :D
writing that story took soooo much brain juice from me i feel like my brain has become a wringed sponge. im honestly rlly proud i managed to finish it😭
ive had writing experience before here on tumblr but i never rlly put alot of effort into it and it often made me feel bad about how i finished my stories. i always just thought about a vague plot, typed away, and posted it. some people enjoyed it n i was grateful for that but whenever id reread my own stories it would make me criticize myself and make me unmotivated to write, which eventually made me delete my old writeblr.
but ever since i've come back, and especially with 'heaven can wait', i rlly took my time to rewrite things i didnt find fitting. ive stopped writing just to post, but writing to actually enjoy and better my skills. im honestly proud of myself for taking the time to do that because i am, truthfully, a very impatient person n i hate redoing things. actually, i rewrote the story by like the 3.5k word mark TWICE and made sure i was truly happy with it. the plot was actually supposed to go two ways!:
kinich would find reader in their home, and they could comfort eachother real quick in the house before kinich escorted them to the survival shelter. kinich would then make a promise to reader to come back alive and boom boom fighting wham he comes back to them and boom emotional reunion!
^ i changed my mind halfway while writing this because i wanted the story to have more depth and to make it more about reader and kinich both experiencing grief and negative emotions more. this plotline was just too lovey dovey and chill for my liking.
2. kinich reunites with the reader in the end by finding her dead asleep in the tribe's infirmary.
^ i didnt like this ending because i felt like it would've been a boring climax to the heavy emotions of reader as she was separated from kinich thinking he was dead. does that make sense? like it felt like a boring way to end off y/n's part after building up all these negative thoughts swirling in their mind just for her not to even see kinich come back from war to have those negative thoughts be swooped away from her in a romantic light. it was cute tho, kinich would've been whispering 'im home' as he admired reader as they recovered but i didnt want a calm ending for the story. i wanted a passionate, emotional reunion type :) like very 'light after the storm'-esque type of ending!
some parts of the story i dont like but i feel like is the part i could do for the story was how mavuika defeated the abyss? i CANT WRITE ACTION FOR SHYT!!!! so it took so much deleting and rewriting and paraphrasing it actually got me a headache just to write that small section 😭😭
on a more exciting note, the next thingy ill write is probably for kinich's birthday! im very torn about what ill write and when ill write it because i have exams right after kinichs bday so i dont think ill have time to write for it.
but after i figure out and post a birthday special for kinich, i'll be writing a more angsty, heartbroken-y story kind of related to 'heaven can wait' but if things went wrong. its really not an alternate ending, more of like "if it ended this way, this would've happened." its been a plot thats been marinating in my head for awhile and i think you guys will rlly like it! its gonna be angst with comfort but still sad ending hihi sorry.
i have alot of canon fanfic ideas that i wna write as soon as possible but i feel like i should switch it up and write some modern!au fics. and maybe with other characters (my other favs! capitano, xiao, thoma, etc.). i also feel like i have to prepare a 100 follower special soon but i have nooo idea what to do for it huhu THANK U BTW GUYS FOR 81 FOLLOWERS AAA IM SO TOUCHED
in short, i have a lot and i mean srsly alot of kinich ideas rn but my schedule is gonna be cramped this week. but after ill be free again! my problem is i just dont know what to write first 😔💔
anyway, maybe ill do a poll or something :) ILL SEE WHAT I CAN DO!!
if you've read this far, thank u sm and i appreciate it >< ill do my best to write as much as i can.
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HELLO HELLO I WAS TAGGED BY @horse-music HI BESTIE THANK YOU!!!!
are you named after anyone? yeahhhhh my irl first name is named after my mums favourite movie but benny is a diminutive of my surname so im named after...... myself??? slay
when was the last time you cried? uhhhhh maybe last week??? I had a very frustrating time last week and im a real crybaby lmao
do u have kids? no unless you count my three beautiful cat children :)
do u use sarcasm? YEah i guess so. this question feels like a trap I feel like no matter what answer i say people are going to assume im being sarcastic. I'm STUCK.
whats the first thing you notice about people? I guess whether they seem nice or not?? approachability???? idk
what's your eye colour? grey blue
scary movies or happy endings? WHY PIT TWO BAD BITCHES AGAINST EACH OTHER
any special skills? not particularly!! I can't really think of any rip
where were you born? yorkshire. white rose for life innit
what are your hobbies? DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS OBVIOUSLY. but also I don't know if i've ever really talked about this on here but im SUPER into bookbinding. largely of fanfics but also notebooks and my original writing etc. i mostly do casebound books since thats what i enjoy making the most BUT i LOVE experimenting with new types of binding as well as binding adjacent crafts (paper marbling, paste papers, box building, etc). bookbinding is highkey the love of my life rn i love CRAFTS. Its fun its cool its easy to get started with and its extremely rewarding to create a pretty good book even first try. cannot recommend it enough. the only downside is that ive started pouring all of my limited money into Bookbinding Supplies and Machines bcs i am. Obsessed. but you don't NEED that shit to do well at it i just like it. :)
do you have any pets? YES i have many beautiful children including three beautiful kitties and two Very Large Dogs (technically they belong to my parents but those r MY KIDS).
do you or have you played any sports? im not really a sports guy but i played rounders through to the end of secondary and one time when i was in year 5 i think i got a last minute invite to come to a golf tournament bcs someone got sick and they were a person short for the team and i was like “sure, ive never played golf before but i will say yes to literally anything that gets me out of class” and so i went and i won the tournament so i guess you could say im a champion. full disclosure i dont know that any of those kids had ever played golf before that day think everyone was just picked for being vaguely sporty and i got picked for being generally well behaved and also available. plus the category was like “[city] year 5 golf champion” so it was SUPER narrow and not very competitive. lol. i dont really remember what the actual tournament consisted of but im like 75% sure it wasnt actually playing golf. I think it was just like a selection of golf adjacent activities. weird day
how tall are you? I don't know like 5’5? 5’4? something like that
fave subject at school? media studies my beloved <3 i never had more fun engaging academically than i did in gcse media.
dream job? I dont KNOW i like performing i like writing i like creating. probably like a podcaster or stand up or author i just got SHIT TO SAY. or a bookbinder. :)
TAGGING @acasternaut @blueberrybonbons @riverblujay @billhaders @tattoobedobedoo @pawpunkao3 AND ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO. IF I DIDNT TAG YOU IM SOWWY :D
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Thanks to
⚡️@daryfromthefuture
💘 @jowritesfanfiction
💝 @bttf-dork for tagging me!!! 🥺😭
1. First rewatch was right before watching the musical. Second rewatch was right after watching the musical... Third was recently as I'm tryna write a fanfic and had to go over some scenes but idk if it counts
2. Bttf the musical poster and vinyl record!!! It's now the second record in my vinyl collection hahaha
3. I don't drink soda 😅
4. HELL YEAH I always take the opportunity to advertise fanfic 🤩 Its about post trilogy Marty being a bit angsty about the new timeline and missing the old timeline. But it has a happy ending. I think its the closest to canon because other ones with the same premise lean so much into the angst (not that that's bad!!! Just saying it's not the same vibes as the movies u kno) Its also old but holy shit, it contains the most cathartic end to the series. The much needed closure 🤌✨️
Peace by dapperdragon
I'm so SAD cuz I don't think the author's on Tumblr? And havent posted on Ao3 in 2 years... Which sucks cuz I'm planning to DRAW THIS FIC. Or at least the ending scene 🥺💘 It wont be for a while cuz I'm tryna hone my skills and DO IT JUSTICE💪😤 but yeah next year is its 10 year anniversary that's crazy HAHA. Give it a read plz plz plz its only 1 chapter.
5. THATS TOUGH
It's so cozy and gives me all the warm fuzzies 🥰
I'm breaking the rules
BUT I HAD TO INCLUDE THIS. FIGHT ME
Anything by @cheriboms ngl HAHAHA
Ok but if I really had to choose:
Cuz it marks the start of Doctober 🥺 and like 🥺 we did that together 🥺👉👈💘💝
Also cuz its in color and sunrises/sunset always gimme warm fuzzies🥰
6. THATS ALSO TOUGH. Actually less tough. It's all under my [#personal fave] tag. But since the other was sunrise, I gotta put sunset 😁
LMAO when u link stuff, it shows ur tag line. I totally forgot I set that 🍫🍫🍫
7. BAHAHAHAHAHA... school...
8. The Wild Life (1984) I dont recommend it tho!! 😂😂😂 it has Lea Thompson and Eric Stoltz. I also checked out the one clip from that one episode on Family Ties with Crispin Glover and Micheal J Fox. I recommend that one, it's actually funny 😂
Then I checked out the clips with Tom Hanks on the show LMAO
9. Not this year, but during my American Psycho (2000) phase, I thought their undisputed masterpiece was "Hip to be Square" 🤌✨️ A song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should! Because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself--!!
HEY PAUL!!!
10. None, I don't think...
11. Hell yeah! I detailed it all on this post
12. Uh prolly once a long long time ago that I don't remember LMAO she don't talk bout it like Lorraine🤭
13. "Hey..! What the hell is this?!"
14. I got to go on both European and US trains this year. Haven't been on a skateboard since I was a tiny kid. Have never been on a horse. Never been on a DeLorean. I have run in the rain lmao. Dance? Does a concert count? My friends and I danced at one (my first one!). Never hung up a clock. Does a ukulele count? I don't think I am or ever was capable of pulling an all nighter 😂 its so weird for me to hear my peers doing it. Like??? Yall fr? Nah fam. I don't read sci fi. I don't eat fast food lmao
15. GETTING MY FANFIC DONE. Currently, it spans 6 parts and goes over the entire trilogy, complete with a Hell Valley Filler Arc! 🤭😁 but I'm working on part 1 rn and will post it while I work on part 2 and so on...
I'm also planning to draw a moment from other fanfic I adore like I've done in the past few months
Learning how to color +render my digital art would be nice!
Tagging @cheriboms
Thanks to the 3 again for tagging me! Tho @daryfromthefuture, we gotta throw hands real quick u stole who I was gonna tag😱😭😭😭😂☠️ ONLY I GET TO BOTHER @jowritesfanfiction 😤😤😤 nah jk 😁 unless 😶 nah jk jk ily i ain't hatin 😂💝
BTTF Year-End Tag Game!
This year:
How many times would you guess you watched the first back to the future movie?
Did you get any sweet bttf merch? If so, what!
How many cans of Pepsi Free did you chug this year?
What was a favorite bttf fanfic you read this year?
A favorite bttf fanart you saw this year? (please give us a link, not a screencap/repost!)
Did you create any bttf fanart or fanfic? If you did, what one(s) are you proudest of?
How many times were you late for school this year?
Did you watch any other movies/tv shows with BTTF actors in them?
Was there a memorable moment you heard a Huey Lewis song this year?
How many times did you fall down this year?
Did you get to see BTTF: The Musical? What was your experience like!
How many times did your mom retell the story of how she and your father met?
If you could describe your year in a BTTF quote, which one would it be?
⚡️LIGHTNING ROUND⚡️ Did you get to: go on any trains, skate on a skateboard, ride a horse, drive a Delorean, run in the rain, go to a dance, hang up a clock, play the guitar, pull an all-nighter, read science fiction, or drive thru Burger King this year?
Your future is whatever you make it! So what are you going to make of this coming year?
I tag: @agentmcfly24601 @moonlightandstarshimmer @brinkle-brackle @bg-sparrow @bttf-dork @mrfutureboy @pepsifox88 @tsukinikawatteus @itsthemorph @synthsays and anyone who would like to answer these questions! as always, no pressure!
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hhhhng I want answers to all of them for everyone BUT, how about:
Why did you give them the name they have? What is the in-universe reason for their name?
What inspired you to create your oc?
Does your oc have any notable skills or good personality traits? Why did you give them those traits? Why do they exist in-universe?
Which canon characters (if any) do the oc have bad relationships with? Why those characters?
Share a random piece of trivia about the creation of your oc. Examples: scrapped ideas or changes you didn't expect to make.
For Peter and Ren? No pressure to do 'em all, I'll be excited for any combination :)
AHHH thank you!!! I will absolutely Ramble on about my ocs so don't u worry heheh 💞
Why did you give them the name they have? What is the in-universe reason for their name?
Ren: I think I've actually answered this some time, a LONG time ago, but dont @ me i answer differently now LOL. In universe, he picked the name Ren because it's a shortening of Loren, the name of his Uncle who had the farm. The IRL reason for the name is because I see a lot of cool names at work and I write down my favs hahaaaa ((side note, i forgot until way after i created him, but the first guy i kissed at college was named Wren. I did not go anywhere.))
Peter: SOOO you get some bonus Calvin facts here too! Oringally Peter and Calvin were kind of the same character that I turned into two different guys. I had called them Peter kind of as a place holder bc I was reading a lot of Spideypool at the time, and well. You know what happens with placeholder names. Then I redesigned them both, and the demon felt more like a Calvin to me, so vampire boy got to keep the Peter name! In universe, Peter's original last name was something generic like Brown or Smith idk but once he was bit and Maggie started calling him Peter V. Pyre as a joke, it kinda stuck. (Later on, Florence ends up taking the name Pyre as well. Makes things a lot easier for everyone, and she says it feels more 'her')
Ok this is already long so I'm gonna put the rest under a cut!
What inspired you to create your oc?
Ren: My baby boy was my Outer World's Captain! That's how he started, my first play through was as "Ash" but only in name really. Then I finished the game and was like must consume fanfic, which then lead to me developing Ren as his own Boy. I had been working on a lot of lore for Ash and my Fallout 4 OCs! Then I was like "Ohhhhhh no,,,,, sorry my children Ren's my fav right now"
Peter: Cowboy Vampire. Needed one. Also a lot my ocs starts as loosely veiled self inserts so they tend to all be a little similar in like,,, body shape and size so I was like... Beefy cowboy vampire???
Does your oc have any notable skills or good personality traits? Why did you give them those traits? Why do they exist in-universe?
Ren: He's really good at like, being stealthy, because that's how I TRIED to play TOW the first time. I am impatient, so Ren get all the patience I don't have LOL. In Universe I ended incorporating it into his backstory- he's got a bit of a criminal background and learned how to get around unseen and unheard during that time. It helps that he's a small boy :3
Peter: He's got some fun Vampire ~abilities~ that probs vary from story to story bc im too lazy to stick a set of rules. Stuff like being able to see in the dark, and like, idk he's got some good reflexes. Also a heightened sense of smell. Bc of reasons. All of those are just cuz its fun tbh! I also have him being a really good shot with a pistol BEFORE his transformation, so with his reflexes as a vamp he's near unmatched.
Which canon characters (if any) do the oc have bad relationships with? Why those characters?
Ren: In TOW Canon, aside from the obvious, he's got a rough relationship with Max for... most of the story lol. For a while he'd ONLY travel with Max if Parvati was with them as well. She's the only one he wasn't constantly arguing with. Max's "violence is the immediate answer to everything" attitude reminds Ren of some not so great ppl in his past, and after Fallbrook, Max is on Ren's shit list. Max becomes more tolerable to him after Scylla, but Ren still never gets as close to Max as he does the other crew.
Also Lilya Hagen specifically bc she tried to "poison" him once.
Peter: I haven't really figured out a lot of details, but at least in the beginning, he and Calvin have a... tense relationship. Peter wouldn't consider them friends for a while, a work partner maybe. Calvin likes to push Peter's buttons and Peter doesn't really understand at first that Calvin is just having fun. Calvin IS a demon, though, so they know exactly what they're doing. ((Bonus fun fact: Peter is actually legitimately older than Calvin. Peter was born in uhh some time in the 1790s? and Calvin was born in 1933))
Share a random piece of trivia about the creation of your oc. Examples: scrapped ideas or changes you didn't expect to make.
Ren: Ren was supposed to be a lot younger at first! Originally I had him ~25 during the games events, but then as I developed him more i was like.... what if.... older??? A lot of that was inspired by my need to give Felix someone older than him that WOULDN'T fucking betray him in some way. So, you have my love for Felix to thank for Ren's age In turn, because I made him older, I ended up having a lot more time to play with in Ren's pre Halcyon life, which created Johnny.
Peter: Peter's still pretty new so there's not too much I haven't already talked about BUTTT a little peek into the future of Peter's story, I did end up expanding on the Maggie/Peter relationship, and it's part of Peter's eh origin story now~
#heheh thank you!!! feel free to ask for more if u want i genuinely love these#i might double dip for u too haha#ask game#orignial character#the outer worlds
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omg hi! you started off your blog greatly, im so proud of you! do you think you can write an angsty scenario for akaashi? where his crush likes this guy and wants help from him and he feels all sad :( but she ends up confessing to him! i love your writing so far, keep it up!
UMM so i accidentally got really invested in this so it’s WAYY longer than a drabble and i often write long stuff bc of ao3 so this might sound a little more like that kinda fanfic style instead of a tumblr scenario? mainly cos im really a sucker for this stuff hehehe love you anon
also ! the request made it sound sort of akaashi-centric so i hope you dont mind? there will still be a lot of reader-chan here though! please dont leave yet and i hope u enjoy
again ALSO i wrote this half on my laptop half on my phone so please dont mind if it seems a lil clunky in some areas
3092 words jesus ok here you go
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Crushes weren’t necessarily a new sensation for Akaashi. Just an uncommon one. In fact, the last time he remembers even being attracted to someone was in first grade when everyone had a crush on this popular girl. He’s not even sure if he really liked her, or just found the idea of it interesting.
Now, second year of high school, Akaashi finds himself in trouble. Because for once, he really, really, really likes this girl. You.
He can’t even fake himself out of this, because every damn time he looks at you, he feels all warm and tingly and his stomach feels less calm and he can hear his heart bump against his ribcage and god, his face even flushes a little bit.
(A little bit inconvenient when he accidentally finds himself staring at you and daydreaming.)
Akaashi doesn’t like this feeling.
I mean, yeah, Akaashi has somewhat of a sense of confidence in his looks, manners, and ability to make friends. He’s not exactly the top in each subject he thinks, but it lets him pass through high school without too much of a depressingly lonely life. He could easily befriend you and steal your heart, his inner ego-brat says.
But.. but what if you reject him?
He should become closer to you.
(For the record, he doesn’t not like the feeling. He kind of likes the serotonin boost you give him. But he definitely, more than kind of likes you.
A lot more.)
And one day, in the spring, he finds himself paired up with a special biology partner. With familiar, sparkling eyes and the cutest, most gorgeous voice he’s ever heard that always makes his heart fucking backflip.
Akaashi doesn’t think he can survive this.
His teacher blares, “Start brainstorming ideas for your science fair project! It’s due in a month, you know!”, but Akaashi blocks out the noise because all he can focus on is you, goddamn it. He can only focus on the way you push your hair out of your face, the way your lips upturn into the most stunning smile he’s ever had the fate of encountering, and he really hopes he doesn’t get h-
“Akaashi-kun?”
(Fuck you and your completely gorgeous voice that drives him up the wall and makes him want to kiss you.)
“Oh– sorry, yeah?” He kind of hates himself for how his voice lilted a pitch higher.
You laugh, sounding like a goddess. He hopes that it means you don’t hate him. “Ahaha, I was just wondering if you have any ideas for the science fair? It’s a pretty big chunk of our grade, and I am… not the smartest when it comes to AP Bio..”
Akaashi thinks quite the opposite, but he isn’t currently in the position to contradict you.
“Um…” He pauses and thinks furiously. He comes up with some borderline generic idea that has enough room for a unique twist. And your eyes brighten.
“Waaaoo, Akaashi-kun’s a genius, hm?”
(God, he thinks he might have a little more than a crush on that teasing grin and glittering pair of eyes.)
He musters the courage to smile without looking stupid. “Of course.”
Two weeks later, he wants to sink into a hole.
Yes, it might have been his request that you two meet up to work on the project, but that was because he knew you were a procrastinator! You would start the project the night before if he’d let you!
But it was not his idea to do it at his house.
Now he has to live with the fact that you’re lying on HIS bed, spread-eagled in your sweater and shorts, complaining about how lazy you are.
(He wonders how you’re so comfortable about wearing shorts to a male classmate’s house. You two aren’t even that close, although you claim otherwise.)
“Come on, get up,” he rolls his eyes. “We have work to do.”
“But I’m so tiiiiiredddd… and lazyyyy…. wouldn’t it be such a gentlemanly act of Akaashi-kun to do the project for me?” You flash him a sweet smile while stretching out even more on the bed.
Snorting, he watches you sink into his mattress and roll around idly. “Hey, don’t you need the grade? You can’t pass if you make me do your work.”
Sighing, you hum in defeated content. “Well, it was worth a try.” You reach out your hand and tousle his wavy hair, and he almost flinches at the touch. He hates to say it but he loves it so much that you’re so affection with him, and Akaashi knows he would give anything to keep you teasing him with all this attention.
“Yeah.. yeah, it was,” he murmurs to himself before letting himself sit down next to you. He notices how you scrunch your body from a spread-eagle to a cute, curled up position to make room for him.
“Mm, so how are we gonna do this?” you ask, with a subtle mixture of bored and curious seeping into your tone. Then, he watches your features melt into a warm, mischievous smile as you hum, “Unless you just wanna nap and cuddle or something.”
(Holy fuck.)
Akaashi forces himself to scowl playfully and he shakes his head, sighing loudly in mock disappointment. “I don’t know what to do with you.” And equally as teasing, he adds, “I should just kick you out and not treat you to lunch if you’re going to be like this.”
“Noooooo!!!” you whine in this adorably frustrated and threatening voice. “Don’t you dare starve me or I’m feeding you to the rats.”
He chuckles. “See, that’s what I thought.”
But of course, your face wraps into a devilish grin as you say in a singsong voice and throw your arms around him (which makes him flush and makes his heart go WABAM), “It doesn’t matter though, ‘cause I got this whole-ass meal right here~”
“Shut up.”
(But you both know he never means it.)
Thanks to Akaashi (and your obliging albeit lazy participation), you two blow the science fair out of the way and get an A. He’s never seen you so delighted about a grade.
“I’m so happy~” you never shut up about how grateful you are for him, not that he’s complaining. “This is probably the highest mark I’ve ever gotten in this class.”
“Don’t over exaggerate. You’re not too bad at Bio,” Akaashi remarks. “You just need a tutor, probably, if you’re struggling.”
(By the way, he is ecstatic that you two are ACTUALLY FRIENDS!!! He’s even met your dog!!)
“Hmmmm…” You eye him warily before shrugging. “Whatever you say, Akaashi-kun.” Your eyes flit around before returning on him, and you start rambling about the newest anime you’ve gotten into and how it’s practically on-par with the manga, and how hot one of their characters are-
(For some reason Akaashi really zeroes in on that part.)
He really feels like he has to contribute something to the conversation, so he puts in, “Wow, [Name]-san, you’re such a fangirl.”
You snort loudly and put two peace-signs to your face like some kawaii anime girl, doing this mock-sweet smile. “Waaaooo, you’re rightttt. I’m Akaashi-kun’s number one fan!! He’s so cute when he’s yelling at me to do my work and super hot when he helps me with homew-”
He swears to god his face is radiating an inhuman amount of heat and he rolls his eyes before shaking his head and jabbing your side lightly. “Didn’t I tell you not to say that?”
“Ummm, maybe.” Your ‘innocent’ grin tells him otherwise. “But you know, you’re right, Akaashi-kun,” you cross your arms and give your cute little smirk again. “I am a genius, and I’m suuuper good at Bio. I just need someone to channel it.” And you lean forward until both your noses are touching, and Akaashi thinks he’s about to explode. “So maybe you could help me out?”
The subtle pleading undercurrent in your voice compels Akaashi to straighten up a little bit without flushing even redder. Keep cool, keep cool.
(He prays that his skill of keeping a poker face will hide the blood rushing around in his dick.)
“Well, what time?”
This time around, he finds himself at your house instead. You both are sitting at your desk, ‘working’ on your math and Bio homework. In other words, just talking.
He’s confident now in that the two of you are close friends. He’s learned that from afar, you were a sweet and confident yet perfectly kind girl. That was the girl he based his feelings off of. During your Bio project, he found the cheeky, sly and vibrant yet chill girl who always teased him but was still nonetheless sweet.
And now, under that facade, you were an anxious mess with a shit-ton of insecurities.
(He thinks it’s funny how you boast that you’re just like Shrek. You have layers.)
Akaashi glances at you, groaning with your head down onto the table. “I hate math..” he hears you grumble.
“Hey, you’re not too bad. You just have to be careful when plugging in your equations,” he counters.
“But what if I can’t remember my equations??”
“We both know you’re fine at remembering them.”
“I’m gonna fail.”
“Have faith in yourself, because I do.” And Akaashi is being completely honest. His confidence in you being just fine and being able to pass all your classes is strong because he’s seen you work (after procrastinating). “You just have to work on not putting things off until the last minute.”
You make a frustrated noise before resting your chin on your propped hand. “Sometimes I feel like I’m just.. destined to be set back, y’know? Like, everything I do is gonna somehow backfire on me.”
He knows the feeling, especially late at night in bed, stressing over what tomorrow might bring him.
“And like… I have this whole thing set up for me. When people know me as a classmate, I’m an average student, right? Then when we’re like… ‘friends’, I’m all weird and tease-y.” You let out a loud sigh. “And to the unlucky people who get to this stage, I’m a mess.”
“Stop.” Akaashi’s surprised at how firm he is. “I’m grateful to have met you and to have become your friend, [Name]. You’re going to be fine, you need to trust yourself more. Because I trust you more than anything.”
(Yes, he is on first-name basis with you!! Yes, he trusts you even more than he might even trust Bokuto!!)
Your lips twitch into a small smile, one that he’s grown to love and adore. He’s confident that he’s so fucking deep in love and he doesn’t know how to move on. “You really think so?”
“Of course I do.” He flicks some crumpled-up post-it at you. “Since we’re not doing any homework anytime soon, what else do you want to talk about?”
Your gaze becomes a little more shy and nervous. “Umm… Weeell, I need help.”
“I mean, why else would I be here?”
“No, seriously, Keiji-kun. Seriously!!” You throw mock-fit, despite obviously looking anxious.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m listening. Sorry.”
“Uh. Um, so…” You blink and pretend to look focused on doodling on the corner of your math paper. “There’s this dude I like. Like, I reaaally like him, which is surprising even for me.” You laugh a little bit, and as Akaashi feels his heart start to tear in half, he forces out a chuckle to match. “He’s suuuper pretty– I think that’s the word for it? Pretty. And he’s kinda funny in his own way, and he’s really sweet and listens to me all the time even when I don’t deserve his time. And I dunno, I think he might like me back? Also, I really really really like him. But I don’t really know how to confess…
“Because you know, I’m kinda wack like that, haha. I’ll probably screw up the confession and make things worse, and, well, I need help.” You finish your ramble with a loud breath and you collapse your head onto the table, groaning.
“Uh–” Fuck, oh fuck him, fuck his life. “I mean… I think just a heartfelt confession would do? Something simple and sweet that says you really like him, in case somehow your words don’t work.” Akaashi feels like he’s sweating, a lot, and he feels even more frustrated than ever. His heart is crashing against his ribcage, and his mind is a fucking mess.
You frown a little bit, and suddenly a gush of words fly out of your mouth like a stream bursting from a dam. “Oh my god, what if I’m reading the signs all wrong and he doesn’t at all like me back? I mean, I wouldn’t blame him because I’m kinda ugly and have this weird personality thing going on and I’m shit at math and Bio-”
“Stop.” Akaashi forces himself to intervene, mainly because 1) you’re literally the light of his life and 2) he feels like he has to leave really soon after dealing with the news. “Shut up, [Name]. You aren’t ugly at all, and I, for one, enjoy your weird personality. And I already told you, you’re fine with academics.” He makes himself make eye contact with you, peering up from your arm covering your face, and says, “If he rejects you, he isn’t worth your time at all and you should move on.”
(Preferably with me.)
He watches you exhale, like he just unwound a tight spring from inside of you, and your shoulders relax and you melt from your anxious state, just a little bit. “You’re right. If.. if he doesn’t feel the same, I’ll just forget about him.”
“Because you’re a genius.” Akaashi tries to hype you up, but he still feels like crumbling. Falsely checking his phone, he stretches and stands up. “I have to go now, sorry. My mom asked me to pick up my little sister from tutoring.”
“Huh, already?” Confusion flits across your face, and it hurts him even more to just leave you after you confided in him, but he knows he has to leave before he says something he might regret. “Oh, okaayy.. see you tomorrow then. Thanks for helping me out.” You yawn before standing up to hug him goodbye.
“No problem.” He says it casually, but Akaashi feels his mood drop faster and lower than ever. He hugs you back, but he breaks away fast.
After leaving your house and collapsing onto his bed in his locked bedroom (with his 11-year-old sister knocking on the door and curiously asking what’s wrong), he can’t help but feel hurt that you couldn’t even tell him who your mystery crush’s name was.
A week passes by, and neither of you mention the conversation at your house. It doesn’t matter either way, since you two are still so casually best friends. At the same time, he desperately wants to push the matter just to find out who it is.
Otherwise, Akaashi has noticeably been more quiet and moody to the point that he doesn’t know how to control it. Sure, he keeps up the same as he would before your conversation, but he can’t help but feel his heart sink everytime he sees you. His mind is ecstatic every time he talks to you, while simultaneously wanting to tear itself apart.
He’s tried getting rid of feelings for you, in literally every way possible. From avoiding thinking about you (which backfired horribly because he ended up thinking more about you) to focusing on other girls (ew, none of them were even capable of creating the same effect on him as you do), he’s tried it all and it’s all failed.
Akaashi realizes his silent slump has gotten so bad to the point that Bokuto made him sit out a few practice matches in the gym just because Akaashi was nowhere near the spot that any of the team expected him to be at.
After school, he meets with you near the vending machine as always. You buy two cans of coffee, one for you and one for him.
As soon as he takes the can gratefully, you clear your throat.
“Yeah, [Name]?”
Glancing around before staring him in the eye, you start, “Keiji-kun, before you run away, I just…. I just wanted to let you know I really really really like you. Like, a lot.” You start speaking kind of fast, so Akaashi can’t process what you’re saying.
“And I mean it. Ever since the Bio project, you’ve been so nice to me and you’ve been such a great friend even though I made it hard sometimes, and along the way I just caught feelings. You honestly mean everything to me, and I appreciate you so much for everything we’ve been through. I- I think, I love you, Keiji. And I hope you accept my feelings.” You smile, almost nervously but nonetheless sincere, and Akaashi thinks he’s about to explode.
“I- I,” Fuck, oh my fucking god, he thinks to himself. He’s shaking a little bit– that’s how happy he is. “[Name], I..” God fucking damn it, he can’t even express how happy he is. He feels his cheeks blossom and he feels his lips quirk into this goofy smile.
But then he watches you shy away a little bit as you hurriedly say, “I- I mean, sorry. It’s okay if you just wanna be friends-”
“No.” Finally, Akaashi can use his mouth and then he gently takes your cheeks in his hands and closes the gap between you two, lips connecting in a display of pining and affection.
He practically melts into the kiss, he’s never been so happy. He thinks he’s actually about to implode; he’s been dreaming about kissing you like this, against your soft, plush lips. And finally he’s able to call you his, to call you the one. When the two of you finally break away for air, he’s breathing hard and his mind is a mess, which is rare considering his usual stoic state.
Akaashi has also never seen you so flustered and blushy. He murmurs into your ear as he takes your hand, “Feelings are 100% reciprocated.”
“I can tell,” you laugh breathily, and he’s so happy to hear that some of your anxiety has dissolved in that sweet kiss. He’s absolutely infatuated with you in every aspect. He leans in for a soft, quicker kiss on the lips and savors the feeling of warmth he gets. “Dork.”, he whispers.
“Only for you.”
#akaashi keiji x reader#akaashi keiji#hq x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu#haikyuu scenarios#holy shit this is long#this wasnt supposed to happen
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fic writer tag meme
god damn yall i got tagged by @love-fireflysong AND @queenofbaws, flattered so i am not much of a writer these days but lets give it a whirl ;w;
author name: fudgeroach :V
fandom(s) you write for: almost exclusivley until dawn!! but ive dabbled in some azumanga daioh and danganronpa stuff, and if we go WAY back i used to write twilight fanfic,,,,, it never saw the light of day so dont even try lookin for it
where you post: ao3
most popular one shot: Hot Mess which is a story abt ashleys drunk ass falling out from behind the partition and foiling the prank and thus saving everyones fkn lives :’] idk if i was expecting this one to be the most popular but thats p rad!!
most popular multi chapter fic: the squad be lit fam which is one of those chat fic things where everyones just chattin shit in a group text. i made it cause i wanted to do something goofy n fun between more serious stuff but reading it back its kinda just.... bad... not too keen on my characterisations, they all feel kinda samey
favorite story you wrote: hoooo boy idk if i even have a fave tbh tho maybe Dead Air cause i remember bein really hyped about posting it. even if it doesnt feature the ud kids that heavily, i rly Love my ghost au n thought it was a fun idea to have a couple of idiot internet people try and tackle the story of the blackwood tragedy
story you were nervous to post: okay warning cause its porn. Closet Boinking. as im sure you can guess Why i was nervous to post it cause its fkn porn and thats all there really is to say on the matter (tho it IS my second most popular one shot so,,, clearly u guys like it)
how do you chose your titles?: sometimes i like bein rly cagey abt it and making it some obscure reference thats like 10 thoughts removed from the original concept, and sometimes its just as simple as me not being creative enough and just slapping something last minute into the title bar
how many of your stories are complete?: 13/17 and thats only cause theyre one shots fghjkl i Suck at multichap stuff
in progress?: uhhh 2 i guess?? the other 2 are vague enough that i could stop em now but tbh im probably not gonna be finishing any multichap stuff hh tho Hopefully the last chapter of Grapevine
coming soon: uhhHH NOT MUCH TBH FGHJK i cant even think of anything im writing that ill actually Finish rn. i have a few bits n bobs laying around, couple danganronpa one shots n half finished chapters, but im not rly confident in my writing skills to make more atm ;w;
upcoming story ur most excited to write: see above
do you accept prompts?: ahh not really, not for writing stuff anyway. but im always down for a drawing prompt!! lord knows im lookin for ideas all the time fghjkl cant garuntee ill do it tho
top 5 authors: hhHHH i HATE pickin people i know, im always scared im gonna forget someone so, in lieu of that, just assume that if ive left a review on ur stuff it means ur one of my faves (but it we’re talking like, published fiction authors i love me some ‘david wong’ for cosmic horror and ‘becky chambers’ for gay n emotional science fiction)
tag 6 people: DFGHJ AGAIN IDK WHO TO TAG FOR THIS so if u read this n wanna do it go for it!! i think everyone i woulda tagged already did this meme anyway ;w;
#tagged for me#hoooo boy that was a Lot#until dawn#cause thats is p much the only things featured in here akaks
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HEYO! oh man now my friend helped me get all inspired again for working on my Cathedral Tower Defense game so WOO lets have another long post of miscellaneous ideasies for storyness! may not be very coherant tho cos i am super tired and ill! but happy!! THANKS SUMMON-DAZE FOR BEING MY ULTRA BESTIE
* Okay now I am super sure that I’m gonna let you choose the gender of the protagonist! And I wanna keep it so that their name is Amity either way, cos that’s kinda stuck in my mind. Surname Amity, player gets to decide the first name, but people will still be calling you Amity a lot at first cos you start off all awkward and formal with everybody. You’re a newcomer to this cathedral town and nobody knows whether to trust you, from their perspective you’re this dangerous person theyre forced to accept just because they need you to help protect them, whether you’re good or bad. They’re all worried what price they might have to pay for this, trying to figure out how to minimize the damage if you turn on them... and its not like they’re bad people for being untrustworthy, they’re just scared people huddling in a church and trying to keep their families safe at any cost. So try and prove your worth to them, and help them learn to protect themselves too, and make this ramshackle settlement into a real home! ....anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, gender selection is a good! And it could be relatively easy to impliment too, cos of the situation. Doesnt even necessarily have to be a menu or anything, it could just be like sir amity/lady amity/master amity. Cos you’re this paladin knighto, itd make sense for them to ask for your title. And it could just be like a shot of protagonist’s badass silhouette in the gateway of the cathedral and then you get the dialogue choice to pick your identity, and its all Super Cool~!
* It also actually gives me more of an idea of what i could do for their design, like I dunno maybe they have some sort of face-concealing helm or headdress or something. I was just thinking of them being dressed like a generic nun or princess but maybe emphasize more on the knight aspect instead of the holy part? So like anyway, maybe they have a very all-concealing outfit and that could be the framing of the first scene instead, its like *pulls off the mask and you’re into the character selection screen* Orrrrrr maybe there doesnt need to be any magical setup for a gender selection and it can just be a menu before the first scene starts XD Or maybe you have a cool face-concealing helmet thing anyway, like all three gender options just have a different one, lol
* More random magical names i got via the cool name generator site summon-daze linked to me! Dunno if I’ll actually use any of these but im writing them down here so i dont forget. Berebath, Betnia, Amurziz, Jetre, Miemahl, Semdach, Batxahl, Sidefarch, Botolohn, Vausach, Thammoch, Droibhal, Lekonach, Zeidhal, Tieloch, Rabrohm, Maesur, Smoiroch, Baelbuhr, Axoth, Jige, Chushou, Hukru, Nejeget, Roucu, Jinah, Aujus, Yekoth, Nugresah, Israfel, Jabriel, Tabris, Douma
* Also I’m remembering Jade Cocoon and how I liked that the different ‘families’ of monsters shared naming traits. Like how all those weird snake/slug cutiepies that i loved best were nushab, rashab, etc etc. And tamatoch and somethingtoch and so on. I think there was at least one where the modifier was a prefix too? I dunno why i’m talking about this, but there you go. I just think if i wanna do full original made up names for demon species then i wanna make em stuff that just... feels like that. I dont actually wanna make like five different elements of each one tho, i wanna have only one per element and then they have like two different higher level finalized forms. Like, the human characters can have two job classes each and the demons can have two specializations within an element. That helps me think about how to limit it down to four or five elements, if we can combine common fantasy elements together! And yeah I was thinking it’d be cool if the demon ‘job classes’ could have their own evolving appearances and new names!
* Thoughts for the ol elemental groupings! The only one I really have finalized is grass + poison = same thing. Florin, why u always the character that gets developed faster than everyone else XD And I’m thinking giving them their own made up names would make it easier! Like how in SMT you have spells being stuff like ‘media’ and ‘agi’ instead of cure and fire. But here (hopefully) it’d be easier to memorize cos its just the element names that’re fantasy words, and the attacks themselves would be a little more self explanatory. i just think it’d work cos like... the idea i had of rock and fire being one single demon type, you could just call that magma. But i mean, what can you call plant + poison? Except.. like.. plant. Cos poison is reasonably often a grass type skill anyway. And i mean, game creators dont often worry about making sense, what with how ‘grass’ is the common element name when thats just one plant in a million. I cant stop thinking about that now I’ve noticed it! I legit thought grass was a synonym for plant when i was a kid, i learned to read from pokemon yellow... ANYWAY IM GETTING OFFTOPIC AGAIN The other idea I had for groupings was fire + non-elemental together? I was just thinking like... aura. Non elemental/physical attack as a ‘magic’ could be fighting spirit! And thematically speaking it tends to be shown as fire effects in anime, i guess XD But then i couldnt put fire with rock and that means I’d have to redesign malachi again. his design ended up looking more firey than rocky :P Another idea is maybe darkness + non-elemental together? like, interpret non-elemental as ‘void’. Or light and dark could be together actually, that could be an interesting way to do it, instead of having them opposing. Like maybe the elements could be colours! Grey element, able to specialize into white or black but neither is any sort of ‘good and evil’. And then the rest could be like green or like.. instead of red maybe fire could be bronze and thats why it has rock skills too? or man, maybe rock and metal could be one element and fire could be grouped with something else. And would water and ice be too ordinary and boring? do they already kinda count as one element? should I throw in something else? GAHHHHHHH
* Ideas for the multiple religious groups aligned with each element! I’m thinking I want one of them to interpret the setting’s absent god as two deities. like, every perspective on this deity is a wildly different character, this one is just even more so! they’d see malahat (tentative name) as two people, but kinda more like a shared soul that can manifest as either a male or female form. But there’d be ambiguity and debates in the mythos over whether this is actually a genderfluid god, or if its ‘twins who were cursed to never exist at the same time’, or various other variations on the story. I wanna make it like real life, where even within (for example) catholocism, there’s different sects and different translations of the same text. And where there’s predjudice against minority groups and people like to twist their faith to ‘justify’ it, even when parts of the original tale could easily justify treating those people with kindness too. So there’d be some followers of the twins religion who are very openminded to LGBTQ people, and historically anyone trans was able to hold a unique position as a priest, being treated as someone blessed by god. But like in norse mythology, this wasnt necessarily a sign that society was 100% okay with LGBTQ people. Its kinda depressing to read about how trans women and gay men were considered the only people able to become a specific kind of witches, but also how you kinda HAD to take this one safety net in society to stop people from making you an outcast. It was like ‘make them fear me so they dont fuckin kill me’. You had to become a medicine person and at least claim to believe in these magic powers, you had to be blessed by the gods to prove you were like.. one of the good ones. Otherwise its like youre saying the gods made a mistake when they made you, or youre choosing to be a deviant against nature. i can only imagine how terrifying it must have been if you believed in that religion and had to like.. be forced to go against it and leave society, or be forced to lie about being chosen by a god for a higher purpose, while believing that any moment you might get struck down for lying. And then I read in other history books about how the concept of homosexuality was far different in that old society too, how male-on-male sex was accepted at sea as long as you were the dominant one and you were forcing something unwanted onto a lesser shipmate as punishment. Like ugh, rape being more socially accepted than consensual LGBTQ relationships! I guess the only solace is that we can never be 100% sure how much of historians’s theories are correct and what might have changed in retellings of history, but honestly I can believe the past is this fucked up when the present is already fucked up in different ways. BUT ANYWAY I wanna explore those themes in my story maybe. And I wanna do more research into the subject to make sure I’m doing it justice, even though its a very sad subject that might be quite stressful. Maaaaan, I remember how I used to obsess about researching norse myth as a kid, it was one of my first Special Interests and I really wanted to see all the different reinterpretations of Loki and write my own fanfic/adaptation/vaguely inspired original story about What If He Stayed A Good Guy. Man I had soooo much sympathy for the poor sod. I mean it depends on the retelling whether he was always evil or whether he was like a comedic neutral ally to the gods who just abruptly becomes evil and gets killed off without remorse in the final story. And gahhh he’s like the biggest LGBTQ bastion in the whole mythos, and how can I not feel sympathetic?? When we get all these stories about him being a literal genderfluid shapeshifter and giving birth to half of his children and just like seriously its like The Story Of the One Trans Man In Homophobic Transphobic Valhalla and he was probably meant to seem Bad and Funny and whatever but im gonna sit here and grumpily cling onto the idea that he was deliberately written as trans, or that if these gods actually do exist out there somewhere then Loki would support me. *pout* I just have a lot of good memories of how this was like the first sign of me realizing my own gender, back when I first learned about Loki in school and then devoured every damn history book about the dude. And got in a million internet pissing matches about how innacurate the marvel version was XD Also it sucks that we like to believe that modern times are always 100% more enlightened in every way, yet its modern adaptations that always censor out the bits about him shifting gender identities and getting pregnant once. ... man this has gone offtopic too much, im really tired but seriously its funny how teenage bunni had NO CLUE they were nonbinary, no clue why they got so obsessed researching gender-defying mythological figures and historians who created gender neutral pronouns in the 1800s. i was so supernaturally oblivious, holy shit...
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