#'do you think she struggles with her mental health?'

[uraveragelonelysapphic]

Gentle Love

Pairing: Rio Vidal x Fem!Reader

Summary: She may be Lady Death, but to you, she is your sweet love.

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: mentions of depression, panic attacks, just a lot of hurt/comfort

a/n: surprise! another fic! i know a lot of people have been wanting just rio fics, so here you go! a little hurt/comfort! the goal was to make a mental health fic where it isn't romanticized, so here's hoping i did that! enjoy!!!

Your relationship with Lady Death wasn’t one that had a spontaneous start. She didn’t save you from a painful demise, or help you realize life was worth living.

She had met you on her day off. (Yes, Lady Death gets days off. She’s not the only one working the underworld, you know.) She was wandering through a wooded area when she came across you. You were sitting under a willow tree, humming to yourself as you wove a crown of daisies.

Her heart had practically melted at the sight of you, and she found herself gravitating towards you. Before she knew it, she was introducing herself to you and you were inviting her to join you beneath the willow.

The two of you were pretty much inseparable after that. You spent countless days getting to know every part of each other; mind, body, and soul. Soon enough, you were deeply in love with Rio Vidal: Lady Death. And she could say the same about you.

You both had grown exponentially by being in each other’s presence. But a romantic relationship doesn’t mean the absence of all problems.

Rio struggled deeply with guilt. She hated that she had been bound to this calling, that she had been chosen to wear a face she found hideous and escort living creatures to a world beyond life. It pained her to take children from their mothers, sisters from their brothers, soulmates from their lovers. 

But you were so soft with her. Soft as you kissed her in her Death form, soft as you held her while she shook with guilt and self-hatred, soft as you assured her that she was doing the right thing. That you loved her always.

As for you, mental illness was something you had dealt with from a young age. After all, being a witch who was chased from countless villages and hunted endlessly, all for possessing a magical ability she never asked for…well, it tends to have some lasting negative effects on one’s mental well being.

You were proud to say you knew how to handle it, but you had your weak moments. Moments like now. And you hated them.

As you woke up, you felt a familiar heaviness in your bones. Your heart felt heavy but was racing all the same, your head ached, and your stomach churned with dread and anxiety.

You turned to the other side of the bed, reaching for your comfort, your person, only to find it empty. Your eyes filled with tears as you took a deep breath. 

You wondered if you should call her. You hated that the thought even crossed your mind. You could handle this alone.

“But you don’t have to,” your lover’s words echoed through your mind as you pondered what to do.

You and Rio had created a system for times like this. If ever you were feeling like the walls were closing in, like you couldn’t breathe, like you could barely function. All you had to do was think of a color and a name. Her name.

Yellow meant you were struggling, but could handle it alone if need be. Red meant you needed her.

You rarely tended to use red. You loved Rio, and you knew full well that her presence helped to calm you in times of discomfort and anxiety, but you couldn’t pull yourself out of your need to be independent and not rely on anyone for help. You hated admitting the need for help.

Even now, as you laid in bed, tears streaming down your face as you struggled to breathe, you refused to admit defeat. But you knew you owed it to both her and yourself to say something.

Yellow. Rio. Yellow, you thought as you brought your hands to your face, willing your breathing to calm down.

It was no use. All you could think of was how useless you were, how helpless, worthless, weak.

You choked out a sob as the room seemed to get smaller and smaller.

Until you felt gentle hands on your wrists, tenderly pulling them from your face.

“Hey there, sweet girl. Let’s sit you up, yeah?” Rio said softly.

You followed her instructions, allowing the witch to help you to a sitting position.

You met her eyes, expecting to see disappointment and disgust, but instead being met with nothing but love pooling in her brown eyes. 

Her hands moved from your wrists, gently intertwining her hands with yours. 

“There’s my girl. Let’s try and get that breathing to slow down. Wanna get some more air in those beautiful lungs of yours, yeah?” She cooed, her eyes encouraging.

You nodded, and she took one of your hands, placing it on her stomach as she took exaggerated breaths as an example.

You began to copy her, your eyes not leaving hers, feeling safe as you lost yourself in her.

She squeezed your hands softly. “Look at you go. Breathing all by yourself. I’m so proud of you, mi vida,” she whispered as you found yourself finally able to breathe steadily.

You both sat there for a few more minutes, her allowing you the space to feel whatever you may be feeling as you came back to your senses.

You opened your mouth to speak, struggling to find words to express your needs. As if she had read your mind, Rio let go of your hands to reposition herself against the headboard of the bed and opened her arms to you.

You smiled at her in gratitude, moving to sit in between her legs, laying your back against her front as she held you.

You both sat in silence for a few moments, just soaking in each other’s presence; Rio running her fingers through your hair with one hand and softly caressing your leg with the other.

Eventually, she spoke.

“I’m so proud of you.”

You shrugged against her and she shook her head.

“I’m serious, my love. I’m proud of you for calling for me.”

“Feel weak,” you mumbled as you hung your head.

Rio furrowed her brows, turning you to face her. “Quite the contrary, love. You are the bravest person I know. You can handle these things on your own. I know you can. But you knew it wasn’t what was best for you, so you called for me. And I’m so grateful to be in love with such a strong, beautiful girl who knows how to help herself,” she said, her voice full of adoration that brought tears to your eyes.

“I love you, Rio,” you choked out, your hands finding her cheeks, thumbs brushing against the skin softly.

She placed her hands on your waist, allowing you to initiate the kiss.

You brought her face to yours, kissing her with all the love you had. She kissed you back, softly, always softly, pecking your lips softly as you pulled away.

“I love you most, my precious girl,” she said, laughing as you rolled your eyes at her need to turn everything into a competition.

She kissed the tip of your nose, relishing in the way you wrinkled it at the sensation.

“Alright, I prescribe you a glass of water, some chocolate chip pancakes, and cuddles with your hot girlfriend,” she said as she got up, smirking at you.

She beamed in triumph as you giggled. “Well if that’s what the doctor herself ordered, who am I to disagree?” you teased.

“My thoughts exactly. I’ll be right back, my brave girl. I love you,” she said, her eyes softening again.

“I love you, Rio Vidal,” you said with a smile, and she blew you a kiss before exiting your bedroom.

Yes, she was Lady Death, but to you, Rio Vidal would always be your gentle love.

[feminist-space]

"Joy Spence, 21, said she visited emergency departments at two hospitals in St. John's over the course of nearly two weeks this May.

What began as weakness and abdominal pain on her right side quickly deteriorated into blacking out from the agony in her torso.

But no matter how dire her symptoms got, doctors kept sending her home.

"They would just tell me, 'Your bloodwork's normal, there's nothing we can do.' They would send me home, then same thing again," she said. "I would go back again. They would get me to do the bloodwork, say everything's normal."

Ultrasound and CT scans apparently turned up nothing, but Spence, in such severe pain, says she had no option but to keep returning to the hospital, where she says she was eventually left screaming in a waiting room, ignored by hospital staff.

"If somebody doesn't help me, I'm going to die," she recalls wailing, watching doctors and nurses pass her by.

At one point, she was dismissed outright by a walk-in clinic nurse, she adds.

"Somebody said to me, 'I don't know what you expect me to do,'" she said. "'You're a healthy 21-year-old young female.'"

One night, she says, her boyfriend had to help her into an ambulance. Spence was in so much pain she couldn't stay conscious and stand on her own.

"I remember the man in the ambulance telling me … how often he sees other young women going into the hospital and seeing them be misdiagnosed and not taken seriously," she said, speaking through tears.

"He said that he would do his best to … get things going for me."

Spence says she went to an ER at the Health Sciences Centre or St. Clare's Mercy Hospital about 10 times over a 12-day period, beginning on May 21. She also visited her family doctor, who could do little except tell her to speak directly to the surgeon at Health Sciences Centre, she said.

Each time she saw a doctor, she says, she was sent home and told to dance around her living room or do yoga to cure what physicians believed was anxiety or sluggish bowels.

"I had so many laxatives," Spence recalls. "I would tell them … nothing's even coming out anymore. It's not just this, I don't think. But no, they were dead set on the constipation and only constipation. Like, it can only be that."

...

Spence says doctors only began to take her seriously once she began vomiting in a Health Sciences Centre hallway. The contents of her stomach were green and black.

An older doctor walking past her happened to notice, stopping in his tracks. Spence says he immediately identified the issue as appendicitis.

At that doctor's urging, Spence was finally wheeled into an operating room, where she says her burst appendix — now gangrenous — was removed.

"I think when I walked into the room and they seen a 21-year-old young girl, they immediately dismissed me and thought that there couldn't be anything wrong with me," Spence said.

"I was not on their minds and not on their radar. And if they didn't have that preconceived idea of me, those thoughts wouldn't have been formed and maybe I would have gotten the proper care that I should have."

...

Spence is still struggling to recover from her ordeal. Physically, she's now fine: her appendix was removed and her stitches have healed.

But she's lost an alarming amount of weight, she says, wakes up gasping in the middle of the night and can't stop herself from crying whenever she remembers the hospital.

"I've been losing a lot of hair," she said. "Mentally, it's just been a struggle."

Spence only received an apology from the health authority after CBC News requested comment and confirmed that Spence had done an interview — a move she says felt hollow and frustrating, since the manager who called her didn't give her an explanation about why she was repeatedly ignored while waiting to be admitted.

The ripple effect from her illness, and how she says she was treated when seeking care, has uprooted her life. She's taken a year off her studies in Memorial University's social work program and has lost her job. She's looking for trauma therapy, but now doesn't have the money to pay for it, she says.

"I think as young women we're always told what we're supposed to do, how we're supposed to think, and not to trust our instincts," she said.

"But most of the time … the gut instinct is right. I knew I was sick. I knew what was happening wasn't right, and I could have died if I didn't keep going back to the hospital.

"If I had listened to those doctors and went back home — what could have really happened?""

[thecoiledserpent]

↻ REMEDIAL MEASURES FOR THE PLANETS: THE MOON

basics of vedic astrology. ask box. masterlist.

a weak moon will create unnecessary fears, anxieties and mental health issues. it can make the native moody, be emotionally sensitive, shut off and sometimes when in extremely bad dignity, even psychotic. a malefic moon will pose struggles when it comes to the relationship with the mother, which will further lead to anxiety for the native; furthermore it leads to problems with eyes and the stomach. a weak benefic moon cannot give its results properly and also makes the native become easily influenced.

GENERAL REMEDIES

never spill milk, and ensure that you don't waste water. especially drinking water.

keep hydrated all the time, and offer water to others when you think they might be thirsty or ask you for it. (never ignore anyone who asks for water)

never leave unfinished water. always finish the water you take in your glass.

sleep at appropriate times.

drink water in a silver glass (size doesn't matter, just leave some water in it to charge it with metal ions for some time, it's good for the body too.)

wear silver, if you can. necklace, bracelet, rings, whatever.

always respect your mother, or mother figure. she is the one who gave birth to you and nourished you with her blood. if nothing at all, then at least care for her because of that. talk to your mother as often as possible, and win her heart with your actions and morals.

offer gifts of silver to your mother. this includes but is not limited to jewellery, statues, antique pieces, watch, small trinkets etc.

buy a small silver box, it does not have to be any bigger than 3 X 3 cm, but it can be as large as you'd like too, and have it be filled with rice from your mother's hands. take it, and keep it at your study, or anywhere you will most likely be seeing it most often. you can keep it in a bag, pouch etc too. not in your pocket though, and it shouldn't be opened. replace the rice monthly, if you can.

fast on mondays, and only consume fruits, fruit juices, dry fruits and milk and milk products. no salt or grains in any form should be consumed. (like even kellogs will be considered grains because it has corn in it)

be at peace with crying and being emotional, especially for men.

donate to organizations that serve single mothers, widows, women etc.

keep motifs / statues of deers. a group of 17 deers pull the chariot of the moon god, so a painting of him hung on the north wall is favourable.

for hindus / people believing in idolatry / people with any form of devotion to the planets as gods:

TO BE DONE EVERY FULL MOON:

one thing i wish to emphasize here is that vedic practices like the two following are to be done in places free from the influence of alcohol / drugs / meat / rahu dominant places. after having consumed any of these, stay away from the places where the god is kept / offered remedies to, to respect their sanctity.

employ your imagination to visualize the moon god in an anthropomorphic form (as a human). this is done to create a deeper emotional relationship with the moon which is not possible with an inanimate object.

imagine the moon god as having pale, glowing skin with ethereal eyes that seem to shine. his skin is a shining white, like pearls, holding a vara in one hand and a mace in the other, aboard a chariot of ten white horses. he has a smiling and gentle face, and is adorned beautifully with jewels of silver. he wears white silks, and sits stop the crescent moon as he moves through the sky; waxing and waning in his shine as he does so.

do this as you stand admiring the full moon. you must have a small round silver vessel (lota, image below) filled with raw milk, not boiled and fresh. add some sugar and uncooked rice to it, as well. let the moon's rays fall upon you and then, extend your arms outwards and slowly pour the milk from the lota onto the ground. imagine that the milk is being used to wash the feet of chandra, as he gracefully accepts the offering.

once done, bow to him. it is necessary to do this in the open where the light from the moon falls on you. ensure the moon is visible in the sky, clouds hiding it is not favourable. as you prepare to leave, chant this mantra at least 11 times under your breath:

'OM SOMA SOMAYA NAMAH'

you can also do mantra chanting on a proper rudraksha mala, if you have one. show a diya (pictures above) to the god, and keep it outside, as though offered to his luminous form. the diya can be both, earthen ware or a brass one.

offer sweet items made of milk by you or a family member to chandra, as well. like kheer, vermicelli kheer, makhana kheer etc, their recipes can be easily found on google. take a small bowl of it, offer it to chandra and keep it outside the entire night (cover it to make sure it doesn't get contaminated) and then eat it as prasadam the next day.

keep glass bottles / jars filled with water to the brim, without their covers, as you keep them outside to allow the moonlight to fall on them. after nearly 15-20 minutes, take them back home; you can keep it outside for more time if moonlight is available, but at least do it for 15 minutes. keep this glass jar somewhere safely inside the house, ensuring none of the water is spilt.

TO BE DONE ON MONDAYS / AUSPICIOUS OCCASIONS: (depending upon level of commitment, and financial influence)

if you wish to pray to the moon god and engage in mantra chanting, then you may establish a copper / brass statue of the god, no bigger than your finger (or the thumb if you are a busy person and may have to skip this duty at times. large statues when unkempt curse the native for dishonour of the god.)

following is a good reference statue, and it is the perfect size as well. (i'm not promoting any website btw 😭)

discipline for taking care of statues of gods. not looking after the statue of gods is extremely inauspicious. if you do not have the discipline or time to dedicate some time in the morning / early evening to worship, then don't keep the statue in your home.

i will make a post about this if anyone needs additional or personal tips regarding idol worship, or how you can adjust it better with western culture. do lmk via asks.

REMEDIES TO BE DONE OCCASIONALY / WEEKLY:

offer the moon god the flowers associated with him (lotus, white chrysanthemums, white roses, moonflower, or other white flowers which are not weeds), white coloured garments (it can be any new textile, even unsewn cloth can be offered), uncooked rice (100 g) and silver metal if within means. all of these items are to be distributed amongst brahmins (temple priests) to appease the god.

havan can be done on mondays.

rice cooked with milk can be fed to brahmins (temple priests); you can ask the local temple priests about it, or if any isckon centre is present, then the authorities present there will be able to guide you well about how you can do so. if temples are present locally, then you can simply donate the items / food in a tupperware to the temple priest. the raw materials can also both be offered (raw rice grains and milk packets.

a conch to be given in charity. it is particularly beneficial if the conch shell is engraved with silver for aesthetic purposes. (don't go around thinking this has to be done weekly 😭 do it once, or maybe once every four-five years if you have that devotion and money)

[rosewaterandpinkseasalt]

if we’re going with that though—do we think steven would really figure that out during the timeline of the show? we only see him up until the age of sixteen. he’s processing everything he’s been through (which is a lot) and he’s in a terrible mental state. i think this is something he’s going to reflect on & really figure out in post canon. if anything, a tiny silver lining is that the end of canon reminds young people that they don’t need to have all their traumas resolved right away! his relationship, too, is something he’s still working on but we can kind of tell they’re always going to be together.

i can’t help but sympathize with steven & as someone who’s older than him i really like how you always acknowledge the outside perspective! lots of rose haters see the show from steven’s perspective and forget that they can have an outside one, too. i try to look at both.

through steven’s eyes, he has a whole belief system set up and so much happens throughout his adolescence that, while he changes and goes through unimaginable things, he doesn’t know what to believe anymore. he starts to only see extremes. he started off with imagining rose as this perfect mother for comfort, and then he learns things about her that are quite alarming (i.e., bismuth being bubbled, not telling garnet and ame and dad about being a diamond) and feels this bitterness & anger. he even begins to question if she’s a bad person. it’s going to take awhile for him to process and figure out everything.

in a very similar way, he has trouble with how he feels about himself. he grew up isolated from lots of kids & finding out he was a protector & a healer, but as time goes on he struggles with self blame and self doubt. he begins focusing so much on protecting others that he forgets about himself—which makes him lose some self awareness, too.

so, when he’s in fight or flight like that and he needs to make a last minute decision, he chooses something that’s extremely self destructive but with the intention to protect the person he loves most. & that’s interesting to me because he’s not only reminding me of one mom here—he’s reminding me of pearl, too.

situations involving life or death & fight or flight, when the person already has lots of unresolved trauma and mental health issues… these situations can easily bring out some troubling aspects of people.

i have so much empathy for steven & pearl that i can’t bring myself to say that they were bad hurtful partners—really, they were being self destructive. & i think connie and rose were upset but more so because they were worried about their partners and they couldn’t do anything to protect them. it’s not something that would end their relationships or lessen trust—but it’s definitely a good example of how putting your loved ones over yourself & not having self compassion can cause issues when they feel the same amount of love for you & want to protect you, too.

@selkie-soup you know steven & connverse better than i do, but this situation is just very interesting to me and i thought i would chime in! i hope this is soup approved :3

it irks me so much when people act like Connie is in the wrong for how she acted after the trial. It ignores three things. One- Connie is 12, of course she won't act "perfect". Two- she tried to talk to him irl but Steven was at the cabin with the gems + his dad. Three- Connie has a right to take space, even if it was in her best interest it's not unreasonable she was hurt. She wanted to be there for him and they promised to protect each other (not to mention if any of Pearl's ideology still effected her) and she felt like their promise was broken. It was for the best she was left behind but she can still have complex feelings about the topic.

[ehlnofay]

generally speaking I like my coworkers but periodically they say things that make me want to Hit them with a Stick

[hamletshoeratio]

Can y'all just be you know normal Marina Thompson for like 5 seconds? Because christ, the sheer Misogynoir that some of you spread about her character is insane and you don't even realise it.

[bijoumikhawal]

a lot of the talk about Bushnell is reminding me of my "the "mentally ill" have their right to violence revoked" thing again

like. When you're deemed mentally ill, suddenly you must stress how you are more likely to be a victim of violence than a perpetrator to be deemed as human. Because any violence you commit, as a crazy person, is bad. It cannot carry rationale, because you are crazy. If I, as an autistic person, hit someone who was hurting me and got in legal trouble, I can be referred to as just "crazy" instead of as a victim responding to an aggressor. It's an underdiscussed area of dehumanization.

And that's before we talk about intersectionality, and before we talk about how this factors into the idea of ODD, and the "violent" responses patients have to doctors (including those who simply aren't white, and those forced on meds that hurt them, and those resisting sexual assault, and-).

But this is not just interpersonally political, it is political at scale. Black men were targeted by schizophrenia diagnoses during the Civil Rights era (and this is also around when schizophrenia became a "scary" illness). The crazy cannot have valid political criticisms, as a movement (remember that being "crazy" is a vector of oppression abd marginalization) or as individuals in other movements.

Ive seen both the sentiment of "oh Aaron is gonna be slandered as crazy" and exactly what the sentiment warns of- "we can't valorize suicide from the mentally ill". And the first isn't wrong, because society at large does view the "crazy" as lacking political agency, but it's lacking.

Bushnell had been trying very hard to get out of his military contract without being imprisoned at best, while witnessing genocide and knowing he was complicit. He may not have had clinical depression normally, but that would inspire a mental rational response of situational depression (and yes, mental health issues can be a rational response to horrible circumstances). Further, I know of instances of self immolation that WERE done by people who did have long standing mental health issues and were done to protest the treatment they'd experienced that caused them and that resulted from their existence. Mental illness and divergence from the norm is more complicated than just "these people are incapable of rationality, they are incapable of political thought, and they are incapable of agency".

[mars-ipan]

so fucking annoying having a “common” disorder sometimes i’m sick of being fucking dismissed

[formulapisces]

i just went out with my friend and it went better than i thought it would because i don’t talk to her often - until right at the VERY end when we walked past this girl and she whispered to me ‘omg i know her…’ so i asked how and she explained how they go to the same college and she has autism and has meltdowns that are apparently ‘really funny’ and ‘like a 2 year old.’ she said she and my ex-friend has to hold back laughing at her having a meltdown and yeah… i’m going to send her a few texts about autism etc so if she has the heart to do it she can learn and be better, but i’m not going to talk to her again after that, i’m so annoyed.

[astarlightmonbebe]

the fact that almost every single close female person in my life has has dealt with (chronic) health conditions that impacted or are impacting their daily lives...

[comradecowplant]

damn, s i o u x e r z was one of my earliest tumblr follows-- she's a thin, conventionally attractive, white (or at least white passing) woman, which made her a big hit with the tumblr gays, & there was a period of time when her pics were everywhere, like the Alex Evens of tumblr lesbians-- so its a bummer to have to unfollow her after all this time, but since she's decided to become a cowardly piece of shit & throw her lot in with the r*dfems, she won't be missed.

so psa for any cryptkeepers like myself who followed her back then & haven't been paying attention to her since she came back.

[ramblings-of-a-fangirl-blog]

Some actual mental health advice and raising of mental health awareness.

...because "you're the only one who has the power to lift that rock off your chest [by forgiving your abuser]" is a dangerous sentence.

[bhaalsdeepbat]

the soul coins as a metaphor for performance enhancing drugs / stimulants is sooooo good i keep thinking about it and how i wish there as more done with it.

[arolesbianism]

It is my new life purpose to add the most questionable song choices to the Jackie section of my oni playlist. Hey at least one of them is a rabbit universe Jackie song so I have sort of an excuse, but spoilers it's not keep your head up so uhhhhh lol

[garden-holic]

.

[perfectlyhappypumpkin]

Life is just crazy lately. I have so much to say about so many things but most of them either aren’t worth saying or I just don’t have the time to discuss.

I really really hope that things get better again soon, because life is just real fucked up currently.

But I hope that once things have settled again a bit that I can focus on me and work on me and meeting the goals I have for myself and setting new ones.

And I’ve decided I’m DEFINITELY gunna go on a cruise as soon as I’m financially able to. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do ever since I was promised it by my ex’s mother and it fell through because she decided to do drugs and murder someone instead 🫠 (true story, she’s on an episode of snapped)

So I’m gunna get my shit together (hopefully once everything else in my life settles) and get myself a nice cruise.