#and that it did not magically disappear. your health is valid

[cosmicangel888]

Prophecy and NEW EARTH ~ 5D EARTH - Blatant TRUTH

Are you NOW seeing the blatant discrimination ...... 3D is not 5D

Healing must be a priority .....humanity is not balanced and there is much to clear, clean, and prevail - so much injustice and imbalance

There is a huge wave taking place this year

Those of us that have been talking about human trafficking for years,

Standing in our light for advancement and understanding of human value, worthiness

Organized crime is due to the very suffocation of the have's vs have nots, and what group is this? Where is the wealth of the world, who are these that are of the wealthiest - who are they?

Organized crime, corruption in every fabric and the disconnection of spirit, wounding, soul wounding, what and why is this a thing?

crime is not necessary - all is healable

violence is not necessary - all is healable

discrimination is the core of all imbalances upon our planet 0 it is due to separation - fear, control, dominance and misguided and unknowing of who we are, what we exist within - what exists within us each -

I would not work, or be with any, friends or otherwise that abuse energy, magic, and the public for their foolish games of dominance and ill gotten gains - I speak on what is truth and my own life experience - there are entire communities in corruption - and all have rights to speak, live, and move in liberation and safety

I know GOD - I know universal alchemy and evolutionary light programs - I am a leader, teacher, healer - I will call what I will call -

There are those that want to take advantage of every light workers and ones that are speaking truth, call it their own and use it and make money while these people are not aligned and have no clue what alignment it -

They copy, they mimick and have no idea; their chakra's are closed, dense, dark, they have entities attached to their mind, body, spirit, soul - and they are leaders - #truth #Epstein all occurs in our cities, communities, law courts, and policing, movies and any person that can see blatantly it is a white mans world and for children, women to be used as slaves in whatever way they want to make money - be their own world leaders and wealthy -

THE EXPERIMENT for ALL - 1 WEEK CHALLENGE

So imagine - for 1 week - see what the economy and health of humanity if women, stopped and closed out all youtube channel, social platforms, and silenced and did not move but sat in meditation, not moving, not saying a word - and see the economy and world status -

See how your disappearance will affect the all - the white mans / systems want us to be not here, silent, so be it - good luck oh master!

The health of hospitals, homes, nature, see what occurs oh brazen sick men that are so very wounded - see what you world would be like - 1 week - start now women - close it all down - you will be supported to reopen when you feel ready - see if your value, voice, is honoured

And what many 'stars' and of the elite speaking out of the crime, organized crime, and imbalance of what many are now seeing

Anything.... of spirit is talent, creativity, and any of the industry is made of pure authentic aligned talent and that is the alignment with spirit as spirit - anything inspired through the pineal, higher mind is of God, Source, Creator (as validated by Bashar, Lee Carroll, and my channelling's ) and yet those that speak out about the corruption, the deeds played by the wealthy, there is immediate discrimination -

But when an older white man speaks, and has movies about trafficking - there is the richest men in the world backing their message - while the DF speaking of the exact same message is ignored and her platform shadow banned - there is so much discrimination - and forcing of what messages get heard, and by whom, and what messages don't and get suppressed -

What messages and imprints about women have to have 1 DF break all boundaries that any older white male could not have the inner knowing alignment or strength to do, for they have not done yet - to be in pure alignment of God, and Source, and break all boundaries of what is possible - with the exception of the divine story of Water.org, Scott Harrison;

There are few that know, do, align, break, climb, and continue when faced with daily, hourly discrimination, and suppression, even when family and friends work around the clock, to voodoo, break, spell cast you, and spend tens of thousands of dollars to ensure you are nothing, and cannot climb higher then them;

So I ask you dear ones,

Those of you that write for your legacy and write for your children to have a better life, with honesty and truth and do you say what needs to be said and to what form?

Do you stand for your rights, regardless of those trying to break you - so that regardless of the shadow-banning, you know you are supported to do and say what is right and what is right before you and so blatantly corrupt by those that simply make money off keeping you suppressed, sexually seen as porn and that you have nothing to offer that is beyond and above their own mentality can comprehend - when a narcism, misogynist and any elite entitled person that hides behind outdated dogma that is only written from ancient 3 D old perspectives of beliefs that had 0 idea about higher consciousness - stay stuck in 'man is greater than all women' and if that is the case, our world would be lush rather than the greatest imbalanced it has ever been.

* FACTS

* if our current world order, governments, places of health were working it would not be in the state that it is

* if our world order and government were working - homelessness, poverty, sexual binding, bondage, Hollywood - entertainment corruption wouldn't be what is has been, children would not be used as sex toys for the adults that simply choose to live in arrogance and ego and wounding

* if our world was balanced; we would see equal women leaders and be honoured and valued in such

* if our world was balanced, we would see equal pay, equal reverence for women 

* if our world was balanced, we would see fairness and equality for our elders, as we do the average white man

* if our world was balanced we would never ever ever ever abuse children, our bodies, our minds, or our spirit 

So you tell me - the FACTS ARE HERE BEFORE YOU - what will be unveiled in the next 5 years will astound you of what was occurring at your feet - behind closed doors - 

WHO ARE YOU 

ARE YOU AWAKE NOW 

For those of us that fight such gross negligence and discrimination while others sit and tire of our personal hardships, your day is also coming - you too will face what your shadow will want you to learn how oneness and your own inner biases have kept the abuse occurring - 

While those of us fight every day to have our voices heard as equal as directors, actors, that truly do not practice alignment with spirit never had besides religious prayers and if that works for them, great - but the higher and deeper wisdoms that have been presented for literally over 20 yrs by such light workers and we are laughed and scoffed at yet

Mel Gibson receives billonaires supporting them and millions of views while the truth tellers, the whistleblowers, take our stories and our plight, and our lives and make millions from, and our voices are suppressed, and not only are our channels not growing, we have family and communities spending 24/7 gang work to spell cast our lives, plot and plan sickened things to our children and scheming how to make and take money when we do make it - 

So they discriminate hate and impale while we struggle, they are doing everything in their power to suppress us, harm us take us out, place voodoo in every part of our lives, block, and suppress at every level, withholding personal property, monies, and call your ideas theirs, take your content and call it theirs and then want to be there to celebrate and call you their friend when you do make it - is this crazy and insane - while none were there ever helping only calling hate, demons and jealousy and competition to something you had nothing to do with but fought your way out every day - 

Tell me divine feminine - are you ok with this story? 

You are too tired - I get it 

This is what it is like to be a DF leader, teacher, healer - that is pushing through such ugly ugly sick power obsessed unhealed wounded leaders - and what will you do about it - 

Watch what unfolds - 

Organized crime at every level; be it wildfires, underground porn, political and judge leaders of communities and policing all involved in cover-ups and where is the truth and the righteous and the ones that truly know consciousness and understand energy beyond false religions that stifle and suppress the one thing that we are here to explore, express, experience - our creativity and higher knowing of alignment with and as Source, spirit 

I show this discrimination daily - who are you?

What part do you play and what earth do you write?

What truth do you know and never speak of to help another, and bring peace, balance, healing to another - or do you hide behind abuse and what occurs to the innocent to save your peace, but brings many into harm? 

This is not oneness it is selfish arrogance of the unhealed - the soul never forgets, and karma is karma - 

Karma cares not for your title or ranking in a. 3D false community - the soul, the spirit, and life and love is everyting 

Life is sacred and those that stand for such will arise - 

This is my word

Leaders, kinds, queens, there will be corruption of all past deeds brought forth for all to see, know, and those that so feverishly work and spend money and slight of hand to save their image - perhaps could have simply healed - than waste money, years of life, health and mess - karmic fucken mess - and who cleans it - who brings clarity - 

the truth tellers - 

Who do you choose to be

The proof is your life - 

Who are you 

What will you do to help another be seen, heard, and when wisdoms are wisdoms - will accounts be shown to the world in need - or will corruption and forced messages by those that earn money and want the white man to be the only teller of how humanity is and to be seen known? It is utter garbage - 

This world is not balanced

This world is not fair 

This world is not just 

Humanity made it this way 

Beliefs, and perspectives and what will each do is personal free will - there is a mess and it has to be cleaned up 

Will the middle age white man show us the way - 

Eons of time and wars, and sick oceans, and sick air and illuminati has proven the way - 

Go for it - 

Discrimination is how the mess was created and discrimination will not be how it will heal - 

Balance, aligned beings of higher consciousness is the only way these issues will be healed - 

Period.

3D is not 5D 

Heal thy wounds - so they do not become another's and if you are abusing children, another person, our earth, and nature, or wildlife, or animals or your own mind, body, - you need to go within - sex with children is not ok.

Selling humans for sex is not ok

Selling children for sex is not ok

Selling humans for light harvesting and human testing is not ok - 

Perhaps a video on some of this will get out there 

From a true master and being of light that has been here and transcended more abuse that 

Mel could imagine or any other

I AM a divine feminine, and I deserve my voice, my platforms, and equal space

I am truth and I will expose it

And these are community leaders - how many involved in my 1 experience - 50+ various beings, in various levels and businesses -

At what point will 1 innocent woman, light worker, master at that - is heard, valued, yet others with money and dominance are heard - this is blatant and real and occurs every second.

If you want to be seen as a community leader, then be one

Do the inner work to be a great leader

If you want to be seen as a righteous person and leader of the people, then lead your own life and do the inner work

I will not stand down to lesser entitled wounded people that think they are greater because they dominate and control and others have been fooled by their trickery and falseness -

I will call truth and those in whatever position they are in -

Until fear is not our foundation and corruption is not the wound of the innocent and sick torturous human testing and underground sex rings are not a thing -

Ascension is a real thing and real processes for such - our humanity is awakening and there is no religion that can guide you through this and there is no leader that is qualified.

Women are profound and far more than your sex toys and masturbation vision

What will unveil will show all what has been going on - who will heal it?

#5D earth includes women as leaders and we will are in our own story - 

none will write for us

I reclaim all life, light, power taken over years of discrimination and withholding of truth, monies, and my own life -

I would never partner with anyone that brings such hate, imbalance and purposeful discrimination - breaking my life every day to look better, to look like a winner - I would never be your subject nor be with any on any level - all need to go get healed - grow up

How will we heal eons of sexual abuse and dominance suppression for women - not being heard and valued and honoured - tortured by blockages and hurdles that none would ever have to go through to simply survive?

Over means over - I let this go 8 years ago and none have the right to delay and derail my every day life so I stay and be slaved by those that simply are nothing but liars and thieves and light harvesters -

Leave me be.

The past is done, closed over

Those of my past did not expect me to survive and rise again, again - they did the most, forensic accounting on all involved will show the monies spent, intentions, premeditation to ruin someone that merely heals and brings truth -

All voices, all beings, all races, all ages - we are equal -we deserve our place.

And so be it 

This is my word

Joanna

*** To Contact me; JoannaCosmicAngel@yahoo.com

*** To Donate use; PayPal link here; paypal.me/JoannaLRoss

#5Dnewearth #oneness #unity #healingtrauma #healinghumanity #healingcorruption #violenceisnotnecessary

#healingdivinefeminine #healingourworld #ascensionbooks #5Dleaders

[kitashitei]

The Ceremony of Starlight, Stories, and Blessings ~Blessings for Figaro~

Chapter 1

Figaro: The “Ceremony of Starlight, Stories, and Blessings”?

Akira: Yes. Your birthday is coming up soon, so I wanted to extend the invitation to you as well.

Figaro: I’m happy to receive an invitation from you. That said, what’s with those two interlopers with you?

Snow: We simply bumped into the Sage outside.

White: When we heard they were going to your room, we just had to tag along.

After all, the “Ceremony of Starlight, Stories, and Blessings” was found in our documents!

Figaro: I’ve heard a few things about it. It’s an ancient ritual performed between the Sage and one of their wizards.

It’s easiest to do at a time when “blessings abound” and can bring you health, more magical power, or even financial luck.

Akira: As for the validity of those side effects, we actually aren’t sure. But each of the wizards who have gone through the ritual have had good things awaken in them.

Because of that, I’d like to perform it with you, too, Figaro.

Figaro: There’s not a chance I could say no to that. I’d love to join you.

Snow: For the ritual, we need the Sage and wizards with a tie to you, and words of blessing from each of them.

White: I hope you are looking forward to our blessings.

Figaro: So it’s already decided you two will be giving me wishes?

Snow+White: Hohoho. We are your teachers, after all.

Figaro: Well, thanks. Then I’ll be waiting for those blessings on the day of.

And of course yours too, Master Sage.

Chapter 2

Akira: Thank you for gathering here today, everyone.

Arthur: I’m honored to be called upon.

Lord Figaro has taken care of me countless times.

Mitile: Me too! I honestly really wanted to give Doctor Figaro my blessings during his ceremony.

Snow: Hm, hm. What good children.

White: What cute children, and what cute twins! To get blessings from us… Fifi will certainly be moved beyond words.

Mitile: I wonder what words I should give him? I’m always too embarrassed to tell him, but I have so many things I want to say…

Like that I love him, or that I’m grateful he’s always here for me.

…But…

Akira: Mitile?

Mitile: There are times I feel like I don’t know Doctor Figaro very well. And whenever I ask him things, it’s like he’s dodging all of my questions.

Mitile: Even though I’d like to know him as well as he knows me…

Mitile: I- I’m sorry for saying weird things. Please forget what I just said….

Arthur: I think that’s a feeling anyone can understand. Including me, of course. You don’t need to feel as though you should apologize.

Arthur: I think you’re an incredibly special existence to Lord Figaro.

Snow: It is as Arthur says.

And as for feeling as though you barely know Figaro, we often feel the same.

White: You certainly have memories of Figaro that no one else has. Would you mind sharing a few?

Mitile: Stories only I know…

Oh, maybe this. One time, when I was younger, I was heading home from school when I fell over and hurt my leg.

Mitile began speaking as he took a trip down memory lane.

Mitile: Big Brother hadn’t left school yet, and I was all alone, crying and injured, as I walked to Doctor Figaro’s clinic.

When I got there he said: ‘You came this far on your own? You’ve done so well.’ And praised me, comforting me as I cried.

As he consoled me, he created illusions of flowers and animals for me to watch. My pain disappeared so quickly while I watched them.

Mitile was beaming as he shared such precious memories with us. They felt gentle and kind even only hearing his recollections.

Snow: Ohh, so Figaro did something like that for you.

White: What a heartwarming story.

Arthur: I can feel how wonderful your bond is from that story. Thank you for sharing it with us, Mitile.

Mitile: Ehehe. It’s one of my special memories.

I’d be happy if Doctor Figaro remembered that day too…

Akira: I’m sure Figaro remembers it just as fondly as you.

Mitile: Yeah…!

With a warm atmosphere embracing us, we began to think of words of blessing.

Chapter 3

It was the night of the ceremony. Figaro and I went to a lake close to the clinic.

Places with a deep bond with the wizard and rich in nature are the most optimal places to hold the ritual.

Akira: Then let’s start. Please close your eyes.

Figaro: Alright.

The clothes had been handled by the twins.

Figaro made sure to close his eyes and put a hand on his chest.

Akira: First off, Arthur’s words of blessing.

“Happy birthday, Lord Figaro. I wish you a wonderful year. Please continue sharing your knowledge with me.”

Next, from Mitile…

“I love you, my cool, kind Doctor Figaro! Let’s make a lot of memories together from now on. Happy birthday!”

Snow and White’s turn…

“Dear Figaro. As fellow teachers, you should know we will aid you in all your troubles. And, of course, we will continue to rely on you as well.”

And finally, from me…

Happy birthday, Figaro. You’ve been a saving grace in more situations than I can count. I hope you have another wonderful year.

As all of the words were conveyed, my chest was filled with a slight warmth. Figaro seemed to feel the same. He quietly opened his eyes.

Akira: …How do you feel?

Figaro: It feels a little… ticklish, maybe?

It’s just not often I hear words like that.

But it made me happy.

Akira: (In that case, it was worth it.)

Just as I was feeling relieved, before our eyes, bits of light began to sway and dance. When I looked closer, they appeared to be several butterflies.

Akira: Whoa, are the butterflies glowing…?

Figaro: ...They’re Moonbeam Butterflies.

Akira: Moonbeam butterflies?

Figaro: Just like the name says, they bathe in and reflect moonlight. They’re quite rare and hard to find.

Akira: Wow… What strange butterflies..

Figaro: They really take me back. Way back when Mitile and Rutile were babies, they saw these in one of those field guides. They wanted to see the real thing so bad, I forget how many times we went to look for them.

But they were nowhere to be found, so I used my magic to show them an illusion of the butterflies instead. They bounced all around in joy.

The butterflies painted a trail of pale light behind them as they danced through the night. The corners of Figaro’s eyes crinkled as he watched them.

Figaro: But… The real ones are much prettier than illusions.

Akira: (They really are beautiful…

And I’m sure Figaro would love to show those two the real ones…)

Akira: I got it. Why don’t you return, tell them you saw the real thing, and show them another illusion?

Figaro: Mitile and Rutile?

Akira: Yes. They’ll be happy to be reminded of back then.

Figaro: Hm… I wonder if they even remember. They were pretty young then, after all.

Figaro’s words made the face Mitile made while recollecting his memories come back to my mind.

Akira: …They definitely remember! I can guarantee it!

Figaro: …

Akira: Ah, s-sorry. I didn’t mean to yell…

I apologized quickly in the face of Figaro’s eyes going wide. But before I knew it, he was beaming at me.

Figaro: No, that actually made me kind of happy. And they were pretty happy about it, so they must remember.

Besides, even if they forgot, we can always make new memories. Like seeing these Moonbeam butterflies together.

Akira: Figaro…

Figaro: So let’s get back fast to tell them. The butterflies may be gone when we return here, but…

Akira: But…?

Figaro: Searching for them together will make new memories.

Akira: …!

Figaro: Let’s hurry back to the manor now, shall we?

Akira: Yes!

Even if the butterflies had disappeared by the time we returned, I hoped with all of my heart that night would be exciting and unforgettable.

Bathed in the light of the Moonbeam Butterflies, we dashed back to the manor with excitement in our hearts.

The Shape Feelings For You Take

Akira: Figaro, have you begun drinking so early…?

Figaro: You’ve got it all wrong. This isn’t for drinking; I’m displaying the bottle.

It was a birthday gift from Arthur.

Akira: I see. I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions.

It really is a nice, dignified bottle.

Figaro: Right? It’s a famous brand in Central, and it’s not one easy to find. It’s all thanks to Arthur it’s here right now.

I drank it the day I recieved it, and it was delicious.

Not only that, but Mitile made and brought me some snacks to go with it.

Akira: Mitile did?

Figaro: He made it together with Nero’s help. I guess it was so I could enjoy my favorite alcohol on my birthday.

Of course, I was also strictly warned not to drink too much.

Akira: Ahaha, what a wonderful surprise. And what did Snow and White do for you?

Figaro: They gave me “Have us all to yourself!” tickets. One for each of them individually.

To have them all to myself… Well, I guess I appreciate the sentiment, so one of these days I’ll use the tickets.

Akira: (No matter what he says, he looks really happy. It looks like he had a wonderful birthday.)

Home Screen Line

Figaro: Of course I like the day of my birthday, but I also enjoy the days leading up to it. You guys are always thinking of me, and it’s adorable to see you worry about whether I’ll be happy or surprised when the day comes.

[that-good-trash]

I’m Not Okay- Chapter 4 Midoriya x reader/ Bakugou x reader

Izuku Midoriya x reader/ Katsuki Bakugou x reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Summary: You have struggled with mental health your whole life so why can’t you seem to get it under control. Will you be able to keep the same mask even though two of your classmates have seen under it?

Warnings: Depression, Mentions of suicide/ Attempt at suicide, Angst, Anxiety,

Word count: 4,336

Comment: Thank you all for reading this series, I have two different endings I’ll be posting after this chapter. One will be for Bakugou, One for Midoriya. I’ve enjoyed writing this and I am so happy that so many like it. 

Once again you matter and any issues you have are valid!

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You remember once, when you were little, watching a hero on TV save the day. What hero it was didn’t matter to you at the time. All you saw was this person risk their life to save someone else. You watched the emotions that passed over the citizens face, the relief and security they found after being rescued. You remember thinking that you wanted to save people. You wanted to be someone’s reason for feeling safe, a stable beacon of hope and strength. Oh, how foolish you were. Really a child with dreams too big for her bleak future.

A little girl with a quirk better suited for someone with confidence, for someone who truly believed they could save the world. You remember the excitement when it manifested. You ran around telling everyone you were gonna be a hero. There was no idol for you, you didn’t need to be like All Might. You just wanted to help people and with this quirk you were gonna do it. Other kids wanted to be hero’s for fame or power but you didn’t need any of that. You just wanted to make a difference in someone’s life. As you grew the dream was the same but the reason started to change. You wanted to make a difference in your own life, you wanted self-worth and thought being a hero could give you it. Selfish, that is what you thought you had become. How could you have gotten so lost? It wasn’t that you didn’t want to save people you just wanted someone to save you.

As you grew up each year brought on more and more emotional issues. You were convinced that you had brain damage or were dying of some brain eating bacteria. You weren’t completely wrong, you had issues, mental issues.  The first time you had gone to therapy you were six. You stopped getting along with other kids, stopped playing with toys, stopped being a child. Your family was worried, what could have happened that you lost all desire for life. A little kid not wanting to be a little kid was a strange concept. After therapy and some medication, you were back to being a child, running around and playing hero. You were ten when you watched the people around you go about their days like you didn’t exist. You found out the hard way that the world doesn’t stop when you are depressed. Still a child you had to realize that if you were gone the people around you would go on and eventually forget about you. You couldn’t understand this feeling of anxiety. You tried harder and harder to be noticed in the hopes that if you did disappear or die people wouldn’t be able to forget you. This plan back fired. Your family members, friends, and teachers started getting irritated with you. Your parents yelled at you to behave, your teachers scolded you about being loud, and your friends pushed you away not liking this version of you. Eventually you were secluded, an outcast. You were afraid of being alone so you cried. Crying became a norm for you. You did it in public until the judgement started. People didn’t feel bad anymore, instead they claimed manipulation just like Uraraka had. Crying eventually became a taboo thing you did behind closed doors. You learned how to sob silently, how to scream without being heard. That ten-year-old girl was aware of how painful life was and yet you hadn’t even felt true pain yet.

As you aged beyond ten the headaches started, the voices told you horrible things, your smile had faded out of existence, and you constantly felt like you couldn’t breathe. Your therapy was pointless because no one knew why you were like this. It was trial and error. You’d be fine one minute and then you would have scratches up your arms and hollowed out eyes. You’d look like you hadn’t slept for weeks which was true. You couldn’t sleep because your thoughts were worse at night. When you tried napping during the day you were called lazy, told that you were slacking. How could you be a hero if you slept instead of trained and studied. Your parents meant well when they pushed you toward your goal. They just didn’t know the real you. The you behind chipping paint. You felt like an abandoned building left for the earth to take back. Your words were vines burying walls of concrete. The worse things got, the more you painted portraits and placed them in front of you. People admired your work, telling you how happy you looked, how hard you were trying. You were a success story but what was success when you were miserable and a step away from falling into a pit of despair.

One day things changed and for the first time in a long time you felt normal. You felt excited and happy, you looked forward to waking up. What happened to change you? You were accepted into UA. You had tried harder than you thought possible. Tears, blood, sweat, and a lot of profanity was released from your body on your journey to be a hero. All Might telling you in a holograph that you were good enough made you feel like maybe you were. You hadn’t smiled in a school photo until the day you received your school ID. There you were with a toothy grin staring directly at the camera as if to say ‘I did it’. That should have been the moment your life took a turn for the better. You should have been on an escalator going up and you were for the first year. Even after the attack on USJ, after the training camp kidnapping, after everything with overhaul you still fought with no doubts. You smiled even when you cried with your classmates. You had participated and enjoyed their company. Things had gone so smoothly for a while.  However, mental health issues don’t magically go away. One day feeling mentally exhausted turned to two days feeling useless and massive fatigue turned to ten days of sharp chest pain, uncontrolled emotional breakdowns, and drowning in self-loathing. That most fucked up part was you were dealing with it all alone. You couldn’t tell your parents what was happening. What would they say? They would think you were pathetic, not cut out to be a hero. But were they wrong? Did someone who constantly wished negative things on themselves have the right to be here. You found that you questioned yourself over everything. You wondered why you even tried if you were a failure. Why did you eat while others went hungry stressing over classes while you suffered academically on your own terms? Why drink water when you hadn’t put in enough effort to prove you deserved it. The thing that never changed was wanting to save people. You would die if it meant saving just one person. You wanted to change lives not ruin them. You wanted people to smile not scream and cry. You wanted to do so much more for people but had no energy left to try. Your flame had burnt out and you were running on what little smoke it still produced.

Like a steam engine your legs moved you up the dark staircase. Your fingers ran along the cold railing feeling every nick or chip. You wondered if someone touched you if they would feel the broken pieces. Could you cut someone with your shattered mask, with your fractured mental state. Was there a doctor, a quirk specialist, a magician, any person that could put you back together? all the kings’ horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put poor Y/n back together again. Or at least that’s what was going through your mind as the roof door opened with a swift kick that jolted pain through your leg at the heavy metal it was made of. You were so close to the edge. No one could stop you; no one could help you. No hero was waiting and you weren’t feeling heroic enough to try and stop this. All you could think was how you were just a few steps away. You had failed everything else. You couldn’t, you wouldn’t fail this.  

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You don’t have to remove your shoes since you aren’t wearing any. The roof is much windier than you expected. You jump slightly when the roof door slams from the force of the wind closing it. Your hair is reacting to the wind, trying to blow with it, which would normally bother you but you don’t care about something so trivial. You rub your arms from the slight chill the height and wind brought. Not much longer and you won’t have to worry about the cold, or anything for that matter. You close your eye tilting your head upward toward the vast sky. When you open them, you can barely make out the stars because your vision is warped. It’s like you’re watching the night sky as you sink deep under water. The tears that slide down your cheeks make you angry. Why were you crying when you chose this? You chose to climb the stairs and there was no turning around now. The large metal door wasn’t going to be the way in which you would be leaving. Your legs grow shaky as they move you closer and closer to the fencing. You push your hand against the fencing letting your fingers slip through the diamond patterning of thick metal wiring. This wasn’t going to stop you. Not when you climbed all those stairs and broke open a heavily locked door. You activate your quirk using the blades that appeared on your finger tips to cut the obstacle away. Your quirk allowed you to create blades on your body, they could range from small swiss army knives to sharp saw-like weaponry. A cool useful quirk wasted on a useless fuckup. Once there was a large enough hole in the fence you deactivated your quirk before tossing the damaged property aside. There was a little room between the outside of the fence and the lifted concrete ledge. Just enough room for you to move along the ledge trying to find a good spot. You ran your fingers against the cold stone feeling fragments of cement crumble away. You stopped after finding the perfect spot. You could see city lights in the distance and when you turned you could see the buildings you had run from. The rows of large dormitory building. Some lights were still on and you smiled wondering what these strangers were doing. Maybe some friends were staying up talking about nothing important just enjoying each other’s company. Maybe someone got hungry or needed to finish an assignment. The thing you truly hoped was that none of these lights were coming from a room where someone laid crying wishing for death as you had done for so long.

“Please don’t cry!” Your voice is carried by the wind and disappears into the darkness. You wipe at your eyes because you are yelling to no one but maybe you were yelling to one of those lights. Maybe you wanted anyone hurting to hear you, to feel that you cared. That you believed that they could get better, as a true hypocrite would.

“It’s okay to hurt!” The words weren’t yelled at max volume because your throat was tightening from holding back sobs. You were suffocating on them as you leaned your body over the ledge gripping it for dear life. This time no words came out but instead a scream. A scream that mimicked that of an injured animal, or someone who had witnessed everything they love be destroyed. You screamed until you felt like you couldn’t breathe anymore, till your throat was raw. Your nails dug into your neck, palms pushing against your throat begging for your lung to work. Your body was breaking down and you could feel adrenaline pulsing through your veins. The word ‘breathe’ a mantra pounding in your skull. Maybe this is what you deserved for trying to preach something you didn’t practice, something you didn’t believe for yourself.

“I… I JUST WANT IT TO STOP!” There were rivers of sorrow moving like ghastly rapids down your flushed face. Snot dripped out your nose and you gave up wiping it away. You were ugly right now and that didn’t matter. No one was here to see you like this anyway. That was a good thing. You wouldn’t be able to bear the weight of judgement you’d receive from this nauseating display. “Please make it stop.”

Your grip on the stone wall tightened as you finally pulled yourself onto it. The edge crumbled slightly causing you to feel the smallest bit of apprehension. Why were you scared? Why the hell did you keep questioning yourself? The more questions that you asked yourself the more doubt arose, it was creating hesitancy. You were standing literally on the edge, there was no room for indecision. Eyes closing you think, think about everything that lead you here. The quiet disappointment of your parents, the withdrawn behavior that pushed your friends away, the pain of waking up. The bad wasn’t all you thought about, you thought about the good times. The way your parents cried and held you with worry after the USJ attack, the proud cheering for you at the sports festival even though you lost, and how they always text you to remind you that they love you. They supported you, loved you, and yet you just couldn’t use that as an excuse to feel better. You were still missing pieces of yourself, no matter how much love you received you still hated yourself which made their love feel invalid, undeserved. There were good times with your friends as well. The first day of school was the most terrifying and yet best day. You remember Bakugou getting scolded by Iida, you remember the way Midoriya’s eyes sparkled when learning people’s quirks, and you loved the anxiousness and thrill you felt holding onto that ball. You didn’t even know if you could match everyone else’s throws but that didn’t matter, what mattered was that you were even there amongst such amazing people. The time you spent with Mina was the most important, she was the first friend you made that truly loved and cared about you no matter what mood you were in. The first time you ignored her she gave you space but still checked in on you. She still told you jokes and complimented you. It hurt at first but then you realized that no matter what happened she’d be there for you. She made school easier for you. Other people soon approached you and you had become a part of different groups. Kirishima always invited you to train, Kaminari always tried to make you laugh and flirted playfully with you every time you seemed down. Every time you were lost in bad thoughts, when your body was amongst friends but your mind was in a dark place, Sero would tape Kaminari to the wall. You’d laugh, really laugh no matter how many times he did it. There were so many moments and memories you had shared with your classmates. What a shame they’d go to waste.

“I’m so sorry.” The words came out dejected. No fight left, no more energy. You were tired and ready. Oh god you were so ready for this to all stop. The slightest giggle broke the silence with as much pain the screams had. “I’m sorry.”

Your parents flashed through your mind followed by your friends. Regrets disappearing from your body as you inched closer to freedom. Midoriya would cry, he always cried. You didn’t want him to cry, sitting in that teacher’s lounge waiting for you knowing that you wouldn’t ever return. With you gone he could have friends, enjoy life without your negative energy. He could hold Uraraka close while you faded from existence. Bakugou wouldn’t show his emotions, he was really good at hiding any emotion that wasn’t anger. However, you knew he would be sad. You knew that he had blamed himself for All Might’s retirement. He would blame himself which scared you. This had nothing to do with him failing to save you. This had everything to do with failing to save yourself. You wondered if he would still make too much food out of habit and have to throw it away. Would he train harder as a distraction, potentially overwork himself? One final heartbreaking question passed your mind. Would Mina still smile, would you take her sunshine when you left?

One step and the world seemed to move in slow motion then all at once. The sky was beautiful as you turned to fall backwards. You didn’t want to see the ground. Just the gorgeous vastness of space. You fell with grace. Like an angel falling from heaven, like a shooting star, like someone who had nothing left to live for. Darkness surrounded you as your conscience was lost, as you plummeted toward the ground.

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Bakugou and Midoriya collided as they rushed into the broken school doorway. The panic in each other’s eyes evident as they shared a look. Usually they were rivals but, in this moment, they wanted the same thing and it didn’t matter who got there first, what mattered was that they got there. Got to you. Finally sharing the same goal, they moved as a unit toward the staircase. How long did it take you to climb these stairs? Were your legs as heavy as your heart? Midoriya wanted to find you sitting on the stairs crying. Bakugou wanted to open the door and find you on the other side about to head back down because you couldn’t do it. As they ran, they both wished they could have done more but there was only so much they could have done. Bakugou wanted to go back in time and fought the people and situations that made you feel this way. Midoriya would have held your hand, dried you tears, reminded you every moment that you mattered. They will do these things if they stop you, after they stop you. Fear drove them up the stairs faster. The temperature getting hotter and hotter as Bakugou activated his quirk to move faster. The dark walls of the stairwell illuminate as Midoriya uses one for all to boost his legs further, skipping a copious number of stairs at a time. Passing a window, they hear you, the words you yelled to those distant lights, ‘please don’t cry’ ’it’s okay to hurt’ it was as if you were giving the validation you wish you had. The words were heartbreaking enough but the added tone intensified them, the broken scream that followed just about destroyed the boys. By the time they reached the halfway point you had begged for this to stop. Your words were like knives digging into their hearts, chests, and minds. How could you have felt this much pain and no one ever notice? What kind of heroes were they if they couldn’t save you? Though the most important thing for heroes to remember is that they can’t save everyone. Right now, they didn’t care if they couldn’t save anyone else, they just wanted to be able to save you.

“Don’t you fucking do it!” Bakugou’s voice matched the time he had broken down in front of Midoriya. Tears welled up in Midoriya’s eyes and his voice followed his childhood friends. “Y/N! WE’RE COMING FOR YOU!”

Bakugou turned and looked toward the doorway leading into the school halls. He didn’t know what possessed him to rush through the doors rather than continue up the stairs, but he was grateful. He ran at the window as he heard Midoriya scream from the floor above. Bakugou rushed through the glass and he wasn’t the only one. Midoriya had kicked through the window and launched himself outside to try and catch you. Bakugou used his quirk to propel himself downward after you. Him and Midoriya moving at the same speed. Fire blasting behind Bakugou while Midoriya kept running along the side of the building. You were passing the floors faster and faster. Bakugou screamed using the full force of his quirk. His hand reached out and grabbed your ankle yanking backward to pull the top half of you closer. His hand gripped the back of your head pulling you into himself. He could see the ground getting closer and couldn’t use his quirk without letting go of you. He would have taken the damage but didn’t. He never hit the ground as Midoriya kicked off the building grabbing the two of you before pushing against the air. He broke through the fourth story window hitting the floor and tumbling through the glass. He had let go of Bakugou who was still holding you, his hand cradling your head against his chest as he took the force of hitting the floor and glass pushing through his sleep tank top. Both boys were breathing heavy their chest pounding harder than when they were running. Midoriya got up rushing to your side. Bakugou moved you away from his chest. Your chest rose and fell in a very slow manner. It was like you were sleeping. They were scared that when you woke up, you’d try again, you’d fight them for saving you. Or maybe you would be okay. Maybe you just needed to be saved to know that it was possible. Bakugou wouldn’t let go of you and Midoriya wouldn’t leave your side. His fingers stroking your hair. The two boys shared a quiet promise to not tell anyone about their sorry states. Bakugou was crying, his eyes bloodshot. Midoriya didn’t look any better, he had to keep wiping his nose and eyes on his hoodie sleeve. There was the distant sound of sirens and the dark room flashed with red and blue lighting from below. Bakugou stood up holding you in his arms. Midoriya took off his hoodie shaking the debris off it before laying over you. Bakugou and him stare at you before looking at each other. They could tell how much the other care for you. Bakugou scoffed before walking ahead. Midoriya smiled sadly walking beside him. His legs were throbbing and he could see the singe marks on Bakugou’s knuckles. They walked down the stairs in silence, no words being shared. Nothing could be said right now, you were safe for now and they just wanted you to be okay. Police, EMT’s, and a fire truck were parked outside. Your classmates stood off to the side behind tape, every one of them. Mr. Aizawa turned with All Might to look at the boys than down at you in Bakugou’s arms. The medical staff rushed forward but before they could try and take you Bakugou pulled the hand supporting your head free. It sparked and his snarl threatened them. Midoriya moved his hand to replace Bakugou’s against your head. The officers told Bakugou to back down and give you over. All Might and Mr. Aizawa approached.

“Young Bakugou, Young Midoriya. You got to her on time. We are so grateful; you both are heroes but now you have to hand her over so they can take her to the hospital.” Bakugou didn’t want to let you go and before he could Midoriya spoke up. “We made it on time to catch her. We didn’t make it on time to stop her. She jumped; we were just able to catch her.”

There was this tension as the realization seeped into the two adults’ minds. You had jumped and that changed things even more. The two boys knew you needed help, a lot more help and they were determined to get it for you. They knew that you couldn’t be magically cured and that this would take time but they had time and were willing to be there through it all. The two boys nodded at each other before handing you over to the EMT waiting. They watched them hook you onto a gurney lifting you into the ambulance and then you were gone. As you were wheeled to the vehicle your classmates behind the tape watched. They couldn’t believe that one of them had been hurting enough to do this. The girls were quiet do to them being the last ones to witness your breakdown. Uraraka was crying and rubbing her hands against her eyes. Sobs broke from her as she realized that she was the one who pushed you to do this. Mina screamed your name willing you to sit up and smile at her but you remained unconscious on the bed. She watched you get taking away and she cried out your name while the students around her cried too. They never wanted this and wished they had been there for you. The thing is though, you would never want them to blame themselves.

“Come on you all get back to the dorms.”  Mr. Aizawa ushered his students away leaving Midoriya and Bakugou to tell the police what had happened. Bakugou was aggressive toward the officer when he seemed to not care about your mental health. They made it seem like you were crazy. Even Midoriya had to argue for your sake. They both left with All Might. They wanted to go to the hospital but only family was allowed to see you. All Might promised the boys that he would take them to see you as soon as you were allowed to have visitors. There was also a chance you wouldn’t want people to see you, or that you’d be considered a threat to others and yourself and be locked up.

While everyone dealt with this heart ache and remorse you rested peacefully for once. Not even aware that you hadn’t succeeded.  

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #368

“whatever doesn’t kill you, is gonna leave a scar”

Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? My favorite shirt is the Day of the Dead design by Cloak, which is Markiplier's and jacksepticeye's clothing brand. Mom's friend/former co-worker also got me a Ninja Sex Party shirt because she knew I liked them. There are SO MANY YouTubers I wanna support by buying shirts. Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? Milk, 110%. Have you ever left a note in a library book? No. What time of day do you prefer to wash your hair? Morning. Has anyone ever spread lies about you? Yes. Have you ever taken a photograph with a celebrity? If so, did it turn out the way you wanted, or do you wish you could retake it? No. If you could move out of your home country permanently, would you? If so, where would you go? If it didn't mean being so very far from my family, I would love to move to Canada. Is there a celebrity that everyone else seems to love, but you find totally overrated? Why is it that you don’t like them? I legit don't know who's considered currently popular, and I especially don't know who they are as people. If you could volunteer for any charity, which one would you choose? Do you think it’s more important to help humans, or are animal and environmental charities equally important? Something relating to animals, and I think they're both equally important. Do you prefer holidays where you relax, or actually do things? I like a mix. Something chill, but you still do some stuff as a family. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? Yes. Has anybody ever told you that you could be a model? Someone has mistaken me for a model in a picture I once took. It was one of the most flattering things I've ever heard, haha. Do you use different kinds of moisturizer for different body parts? ie. hand lotion for your hands, face cream for your face. Or do you just use one moisturizer for all body parts? Yes. Have you ever felt like you were someone’s rebound? No. Has anybody ever broken up with you over something really pathetic? What was it? Have you ever been dumped in a disrespectful way? (eg. through text, through a friend..) I have 100% been dumped in a very cowardly and disrespectful way; after dating Jason for nearly four years and being very serious, he broke up with me very abruptly over Facebook Messenger. His reason was valid, but at the same time, he NEVER talked to me about it. Apparently my depression was dragging him down. If he'd fucking communicated it, I would have explored new treatment options so goddamn fast. But no, he decided to snap his fingers and disappear. That's exactly WHY it was so traumatic, I think: it was so unexpected and sudden. Did you have a lot of role models as a kid? Animal enthusiasts like Steve Irwin and Jeff Corwin for sure. Do you feel like anyone looks up to you? Why or why not? God no. I'm just... not someone to aspire to be like. What was the last thing you found offensive? I'm not sure. Who is the nicest person you know? My mom. Do you feel safe in your country? I feel safe in NC, rather. Like I don't expect an atom bomb or terrorist attack or something in this obscure area. In the U.S.A. itself, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. America is definitely not loved by every other country. Do you feel safe where you live? Not in this city, no. Have you been falsely diagnosed with something by a bad doctor? Yup. Did y'all know I apparently have ADHD? I know, shocking. Have you ever had a doctor refuse to treat you? No. Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): The first Silent Hill, probably. It took a lot of reading to get it. Do you know anyone who has been struck by lightning before? No. Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Does Stitch count? Or a Pokemon. Do you like marshmallows? Yes. What is your favorite flavor of candy cane? I really like the Jolly Rancher candy canes, I think they are? Have you ever fostered an animal? No. Do you still take hot showers when it’s hot out? Not as hot, but not cold except on very extreme occasions. When writing $ sign, do you draw one line through the S or two? Two. What animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have? I'm thankful that my parents were pretty open-minded to what pets I really wanted, but one I was never allowed to have was a ferret because of how messy and smelly they are. List three people you’ve had crushes on: Jason, Sara, and Sebastian were probably my biggest crushes. Have you ever thrown up from cramps? No, but god have I felt close. List three people you had a hard time forgiving. Jason, Colleen, and my dad. Who is the most spiritual person you know? Probably my sister's mother-in-law. Would you ever start a vlog? God no, I'd bore people to tears. Are your dreams coming true yet? I mean, I guess in some ways with my mental health. In my deepest depression, what I have now was a dream, even though current me is very discontent with it. Most of my dreams, though? No. Do you struggle with depression? I've been diagnosed with severe depression since 7th grade. Are you haunted by your past? A few things won't leave me alone. What medical conditions do you have? Just a lot. There are even more that are up for debate. I've talked about my diagnosed conditions enough. Do you use a Magic Bullet? No. What does your apron look like? I don’t have one. What are your favorite spicy foods? Hot Cheetos, Takis, hot wings, jalapeno pizza... Man, I love spicy food. Which do you like better: being an adult or being a kid? Being a kid. Were you excited to be a teenager on your thirteenth birthday? I had very mixed feelings. Did you feel insecure in high school? Shit, I still do. Would you ever be friends with someone who was suicidal? What the FUCK is this question? No fucking shit I would be. Someone being suicidal in no way affects who they are as a person. Who was the biggest bully in high school? I don't think there really was one. What was your favorite class in high school? Art. Would you rather have a daughter or a son? If I wanted kids, a daughter. Have you ever written to an advice columnist? No. Have you ever had a doctor not believe what you told him? Maybe? I did however have an employee at the ER the first time I went try to pry out of me that my self-mutilation was for attention, and it wasn't until I insisted about a dozen times that it wasn't that he believed me. It's odd looking back that I got REALLY attached to him during that stay, knowing now that it was absolutely horrible and extremely unhelpful for him to do that. If you’re female, would you feel uncomfortable having a male gynecologist? I would absolutely refuse to have a male one. Do you like Lisa Frank? Yeah, like can you talk about aesthetic. What gives you nightmares? Boy, I wish I could tell you, given how much I have them. Were you ever hospitalized as a child? No. Did you get senior pictures taken? No. What color is your bicycle? I don’t have one. Did you ever have to take home a fake baby in health class? No, thank fuck. Would you rather wear ivory or white on your wedding day? What color will your bridesmaids wear? I'd rather wear black. I think red will be the bridesmaids' color. Would you rather have a swimming pool or trampoline? I want a swimming pool so damn badly so I could exercise my legs without worrying about sweating, and I can stop and rest whenever I want, unlike going walking or something. I don't think my knees could handle a trampoline. Do you think babies are cute? Some, sure. But a lot, not really. Do you dream about the future a lot? Yeah. Do you think about your past a lot? Way too frequently. How good are you at living in the moment? I'm trying to get better at it. Have you ever questioned God’s existence? Yeah. Vanilla frosting or chocolate? Chocolate. What’s your favorite foreign cuisine? I've actually been exploring Italian pasta lately. I'm not a big fan of foreign food that I've tried, though. Have you ever moved to another state? No. Did you do anything productive today? No. .-. Can you say the alphabet backwards? No, actually. Do you like flowers? Of course; does anyone not? Have you ever thought you were gonna die? I didn't care if I did or didn't. What kind of mood are you in today? I was honestly really depressed through most of it. Just health stuff was really getting to me. I just woke up from what was honestly like a four-hour nap and I feel all right, I guess. What are you craving right now? I REALLY want Domino's jalapeno pizza. Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance? No. What is worse, physical or emotional pain? Definitely emotional. Have you ever walked in on somebody doing something… questionable? When Dad still lived with us, I think he might have been watching... you know... on TV when I came into my parents' room for something. Idk for sure though. I didn't ask, and I don't want to know. If you were to make videos on YouTube, what would they be of? Oh god, idk. I don't want to make any. What I'd have most fun with would be reptile education, but I 1.) have literally one snake, 2.) am not extremely educated on a good number of them and don't want to be misleading, and 3.) I would run outta content fast. So, leave it to Snake Discovery, haha. Posting pictures of yourself in a bathing suit on the internet - ok or not? Yes, it's okay????? If you're talking about me personally though, you won't see me dead in a bathing suit picture. Do you typically laugh when somebody falls down? No, I gasp and see if they're okay. What is the most disturbing movie you’ve ever watched? Paranormal Entity. The ending is... a lot. Your opinion of Katy Perry, please? I like a couple of her songs. If you could say anything to your Mom right now… what would it be? "Thank you for absolutely everything."

[jonathanvik]

Starlight Dream - Chapter 4

Takako shook her head, eyes wide. “What the heck was that?” She shuddered in revulsion. “Ugh, he had hairy legs and everything. He could have at least shaved. How did someone like him become a magical girl!” Nothing remained of the second floor after the magical girl’s assault. The entire area had been vaporized. The gang members of Lotus Butcher cowered in terror, fearful the girl might unleash her wrath on them next. “They’re gone, yet I still detect that strange presence.” The fairy said, turning his attention towards the frozen Seina. Sweat trickled down her brow, realizing how helpless she was at the moment. “I feel it too.” Takako twirled the guns in her hands in thought. She sent a frosty glare in Seina’s direction. “You must be the real magical girl.” I need to do something. If they’re evil, I can’t fight while frozen. An idea popped into the magical girl's head. “Hey, can you unfreeze me?” Seina whispered towards Masato, who trembled in terror. “We might be next. She really hated your boss. Who knows what she’ll do to his men!” Seina wasn’t being entirely truthful, playing on his fears, but she needed to free herself somehow. Much to her relief, the thug nodded. “I can! Please save me! I don’t want to die!” Masato whimpered pathetically before striking Seina in the neck. Much to her relief, movement returned to her body. She released the thug’s arm. Her grip had left a nasty purple bruise, leaving Seina a little guilty, promising to be more gentle with normal folk in future. Even if this one had sort of deserved it. “Why didn’t you do that sooner? You could have saved yourself from getting thrown into a cement pit. I would have saved you.” The thug blushed embarrassed, before coughing into his fist. “Didn’t occur to me. But hey, now you can defeat that evil magical girl! We had a deal!” Masato ran behind Seina, using her body as a shield. Takako watched this entire exchange in amusement. “So you’re the magical girl of this universe? So lame. You allowed a bunch of thugs to get the better of you!” “Very lame.” Her fairy said, nodding in agreement. Seina grunted in annoyance, not liking their tone. “Who are you, anyway? What do you want? What do you mean the vampires should be running the planet?” Takako rolled her eyes, exasperated. “You don’t get it? Did your partner not explain anything?” Seina bunched her hand into a fist and opened her mouth for a nasty retort, but two newcomers paused her words. “Seina, thank goodness you’re okay!” Colten said, landing on her shoulder. “Sorry we’re late. Those thugs gave us more trouble than we expected.” Mr. Kiyojiro said. “We saw the strange explosion.” “Seina, who are these people?” Colten gave the new magical girl a wary eye. “Call me, Lily Annihilator. Just the baddest, most evil magical girl around.” Takako spun her weapon around and ended in a stylish pose. “Nier, partner to her badness!” Her fairy added. “Why did you defeat the vampires? Explain.” Takako asked. “Because they’re bad guys, and it’s the right thing to do?” Seina replied. It still shocked her that this girl had proclaimed that magical girls existed to cause suffering. The world was terrible enough already. Why add to it? “The right thing?” Takako broke into mocking laughter, unable to believe her ears. “Don’t tell me you’re one of those lame hero types. How embarrassing!” “She even looks lame. Who wears pink?” Her fairy companion added. “Pink is my favorite color,” Seina replied, her tone terse. What was with this girl’s attitude? “Too bad. Now I’m here to fix things.” Takako said. “At least someone is taking our magical girl duties seriously.” Seina clenched her teeth. After spending a moment to regain her composure, she gave Colten a meaningful look, pleading for some answers. Were magical girls just villains all along? “Not, now.” Colten’s little voice broke. Guilt washed over his tiny features and he turned aside. “We need to deal with her first.” Takako snorted and slung one of her pistols over her shoulder. “If you can. I’ve been a magical girl for almost three hundred years. You’ve been one for what? A few weeks? You can’t compare to me.” “Well, uh, wait, what?” Seina asked in alarm. “Uh, did I forget to mention that magical girls are immortal and don’t age?” Colten gave a nervous laugh. “Colten!” Was she stuck in a ten-year-old’s body for the rest of her life? She didn’t want that! Humans just got the ability to drive cars again. They’d never allow her behind the wheel now! “Now’s not the time. Evil magical girl!” Colten said, pointing towards their common foe. “Okay, you’re right. But we’re having a serious decision after this.” Seina let out a breath, centering herself. She couldn’t afford any distractions. After extending her hand, she summoned her staff. Takako blinked before she snorted, fighting back laughter. “Is that a bubble blower, really?” “It’s a staff, and it’s a perfectly valid weapon.” Seina straightened her posture. “You’re a strange one.” Takako tilted her head. “Your aura is bizarre. I couldn’t even tell you were a magical girl at first. Ah, well. It’s about time I kick your butt.” “Yeah, you’re about to die, poser!” Takako’s fairy friend said. Here it comes. Seina tensed. This was her first fight against someone on her level. Could she win this? “I’m getting out of here!” Lotus Butcher’s thugs ran for the hills, fleeing before everything got out of control. The dark magical girl didn’t bother stopping them. Instead, Takako focused her attention on Seina, mouth extending into a confident smirk. In an impressive display of skill, Takako spun her guns around before pointing them at her opponent. “Goodbye!” The walls around Seina exploded, leaving nothing but rubble and an enormous crater. None of the bullets, however, even touched Seina. “... Ha, very impressive! You have some guts. I admire your gusto, newbie!” Takako said, puffing out her chest, though Seina detected some red on her cheeks. “You’re just saying that so we don’t notice that you completely missed her. Can you even aim with those things?” Colten replied. Come to think of it, when she shot up Dreven, she just shot in his general direction not really aiming at him. “Shows what you know! I never miss!” Takako shot back. “You’re just too lame to see it.” Now’s my best chance! Seina darted forward, catching her opponent completely off guard. Takako howled in pain as her staff struck against her chest and sent her flying across the city. Seina blinked. “That was easier than expected. I hope I didn’t hurt her too badly.” Several minutes passed, and Seina feared the worst. Thankfully, a bloody Takako dragged herself back to the scene of the battle. It took several minutes for her to reach Seina, her limp making it difficult to walk. “Lucky shot.” Takako’s voice was ragged and held a great deal of pain. “Nothing compared to me of course.” “Are you okay?” A concerned Seina asked. “Wow, we hurt her pretty bad. Maybe you should run off somewhere and treat your wounds?” Colten said. “You don’t know who you’re messing with. No one can defeat me!” Much to everyone’s shock, the dark magical girl turned her white pistol against herself. “Healing shot!” Green light surrounded Takako. Like magic, all her wounds disappeared. Her breathing returned to normal, appearing good as new. “How did you do that?” Seina asked, amazed. “It’s my power,” Takako replied. “I can make my bullets do whatever I want. Creating a bullet that completely restores my health is nothing. Your little lucky shot was worth nothing!” “Magical girls are amazing!” It made Seina feel stupid that she could only smack things with her staff. Takako was on another level entirely. “Seeing how you’re quaking in your boots, how about you run off and cry somewhere?” Takako said. “Uh.” Seina blinked, unsure how to respond to that. Did the magical girl think she was winning already? Takako snorted and twirled her twin pistols around. “Well? Ready to run, or what?” “We could not fight? We could be friends instead?” Seina asked. Despite everything, she was grateful that the magical girl had saved her from Dreven. The situation might have turned nasty if she hadn’t arrived. “You don’t want to fight, huh?” Takako puffed out her chest. “Already lost the will to fight, have you? You aren’t worth bothering with. Let’s go, Nier.” Without another word, the magical girl vanished, leaving a baffled Seina behind. “Eh?” Did I lose? What was with that bizarre tough girl act? “What a weirdo,” Colten said, flying up to her. “Seems like you scared her away.” Though Mr. Kiyojiro seemed troubled and Seina could guess why. Did this mean more magical girls would come to fight them? “Let’s round up the rest of Lotus Butcher’s gang and return home,” Seina said. Colten still owed her some serious explanations, but the bad guys came first. The vampire’s gang had vanished. Only Masato remained, huddling in a corner. “Who is this Lotus Butcher, anyway? We owe them a butt-kicking for impersonating you!” Colten said, his tiny mouth twisting into a snarl. “Uh, I’m sure you’d believe me if I told you.” Before Seina explained further, Takako appeared from nowhere above her and fired her pistols upon her. Much to Seina’s surprise, the bullets exploded into nets. They wrapped around her, fastening themself to the stone floor. “You again?” The evil magical girl smirked and flicked her hair. “Did you really think I would leave with defeating you? I knew if I made you lower your guard, you’d be easy pickings!” “That’s just dirty.” Seina struggled against her bonds. Despite her enormous strength, they proved too difficult to break. Trapped, again! I need to stop dropping my guard. “You got her, great!” Nier said, hovering around Seina’s head. “Emiyo will be most pleased,” Takako said. “Seina!” Colten’s tiny paws pulled at the nets engulfing his partner, but they proved too difficult to break. Mr. Kiyojiro stood to the side, helpless. Takako’s black pistol fired again, and a further net appeared, trapping the fairy alongside his partner. “Colten!” “I’m sorry.” The fairy looked down. “They’re going to take us home, a place I never wanted to return.” “Too bad, traitor!” Nier said. “I’m not sure how a lowly fairy like you created a magical girl, but you know the consequences of betrayal. The Devil Princesses’ retribution will be quick and merciless.” “Seina.” Colten sniffed. “Never!” Seina refused to allow these Devil Princesses to harm a hair on her new friend. Despite what Colten may think, he’d brought nothing but good to her life. Because of him, she’d tasted freedom for the first time in her short life. “Huh?” Takako screamed in pain as Seina suddenly threw herself forward, striking her opponent’s face with her forehead. Despite the force of the blow Seina remained trapped in the netting. “Hey, I can move a bit!” Seina hopped around the empty warehouse. She wasn’t completely helpless! “You little!” The evil magical girl wobbled on her feet, grimacing in pain. “I’m not finished yet!” Seina bent down and threw her body headfirst towards Takako’s torso. Her opponent gave a strangled cry and disappeared into the distance. “Takako!” Her fairy partner flew after her. “Oops, I might have overdone it.” Seina hadn’t intended to hit the other magical girl that hard. She still had a million questions that needed answering. Much to her relief, the bounds around her body disappeared moments later. “Uh, you think she’s okay?” Seina gave a pensive look to a distant point on the horizon. Despite her claims of being the most evil being around, Seina detected no malice from the boastful magical girl. It left her very confused. “Oh, she’s fine.” Colten waved a dismissive paw. “Magical girls aren’t so easy to kill.” “She’ll be back, and she’ll bring reinforcements.” Mr. Kiyojiro gave Colten an icy glare. “It seems you haven’t been entirely honest with us.” Colten tensed before sighing. “I know.” “We aren’t angry with you, Colten.” Seina grabbed her partner’s paw and squeezed. “Just tell us the truth.” “Okay.” Colten’s expression turned pained. He wouldn’t enjoy what he’d say next. “The truth is, fairies are creatures of great evil. Magical girls are their instrument of destruction. They enter dark pacts with evil-minded girls to spread their horror and terror. They live in a world between reality called The Starlight Dream.” “Hold on.” Nothing about this story made any sense. “You aren’t evil!” Her fairy friend gave a weak smile. “I’m just some weirdo without the stomach to do anything bad. Back home, fairies hated and bullied me about it. I ran away to be anywhere else. That’s how I came to your universe.” “Oh, Colten.” Seina gave her friend a well-deserved hug. “I think you’re fantastic.” Mr. Kiyojiro nodded. “You’re better than any of them.” Colten sniffed, tears welling in the corner of his eyes. “Guys.” Masato gave his own empathic nod, patting the fairy on the shoulder. “Sounds rough. I wasn’t too popular with my family either. My folks kicked me out when I couldn’t live up to their expectations.” Seina jerked. She’d totally forgotten the thug was still here and glared at him. “Get out of here! You aren’t part of this conversation!” “Yeah, leave! We don’t care about your backstory!” Colten said, flying around in an irritated, erratic pattern. “I’m leaving.” The enormous man shrunk under the magical girl and her bodyguard’s angry glares and slunk away, ashamed. “Still though, it still stuns me you even became a magical girl, Seina. I’ve always been told only evil girls can become one. When your brooch appeared, I feared the worst, wondering if you were as wicked as the others, but you proved me wrong.” “Why did you leave out the genocide in my transformation chant?” The sudden inclusion of the horrible word had shocked Seina when Takako had used it. “It was in the vain hope transforming into a magical girl wouldn’t turn you evil.” Colten gave a pained smile. “I’m not very knowledgeable about any of this magical girl stuff. I’m no one special back home.Still it amazes me how powerful you are!” Colten said, flying happy loops around his friend’s head. “I was certain we were a goner when that evil magical girl showed up. There’s something about you.” Mr. Kiyojiro gave a thoughtful look. “That girl mentioned someone named Emiyo. Who is that?” Right, I’d forgotten about that! “And what did Takako mean when she said vampires should be running everything? Did magical girls cause vampires here?” Before the darkness’s arrival, the monsters had only been a myth used to scare children. “I’m not sure. Maybe?” Colten replied. “I’m not privy to the higher echelons’ plans. But I know who Emiyo is. She’s a lieutenant of the Four Devil Princesses. They rule Starlight Dream with their fairy companions. They’re bad news. Their powers are beyond anything we can face. Takako and Nier were only minor minions. I’ve heard stories that they can shatter entire universes!” Seina looked down. “So, more magical girls will come to fight me.” “I’m afraid so. They’re probably going to kill us and destroy this planet to make an example of it.” Much to Seina’s surprise, Mr. Kiyojiro’s expression hardened. “I refused to allow that to happen.” “Huh?” “There’s an old gym a couple of miles from your apartment.” Mr. Kiyojiro replied. “It’s the perfect place to train.” “Eh?” “We’ll show these princesses we aren’t such easy prey.” Mr. Kiyojiro’s voice held a remarkable intensity. “Those monsters won’t touch you or our world.” Seina stared for several long moments before nodding in agreement. She couldn’t afford to get sloppy. If those monsters wanted to hurt her world, they’d have to pry it from her cold, dead hands first. Somehow, she’d win this! --- Lilha yawned. As usual, the hateful sun blazed over her, making every moment its own torment. But it didn’t make her days any less uninteresting. Few people had approached her for ice cream, leaving her with little to do. She listened to some passersby jabber on about nothing in particular, laughing to themselves, and Lilha hated them for it. How dare they enjoy themselves while their rightful queen suffered so? I could murder them on the street for fun! She imagined people screaming in delightful terror as her victims’ blood spattered the pavement below. Her wonderful, imaginative image shattered when reality struck hard. And Seina would come and kill me. Lilha sagged and allowed her potential prey to pass unmolested. A strange sound caught her attention. The ex-vampire queen glanced up to see a figure hurtling towards a nearby beach. What the heck is that? Had that been a person? Lilha ignored it, turning back towards her ice cream stand. It was probably a dumb vampire thinking they could pick a fight with Seina and now paying the price, their tradectory certainly didn’t seem under their own control. Presumably they’d been sent flying by one of her nemesis’s blows.There probably wasn’t much hope for them if that was the case. Still her stand was empty of customers, and the fool might not be dead. She might gain an ally. Anyone powerful enough to survive an encounter with the magical girl must be someone worthwhile, right? After some searching, Lilha found a deep skid mark on the ground, flowing towards an empty beach. What the vampire found at the end of the trail shocked her. The young girl wore a similar dress to Seina, except this girl’s dress was black, and wore skull-shaped earrings. For crying out loud! Not another one! Or was this some sort of copycat? Lilha hid behind a nearby trash can as the girl stirred. A moment later, a black fairy in a skull mask flew down to help the magical girl. “Takako, are you okay?” The fairy said in alarm. The magical girl sported a nasty bruise on the head, bloody oozing from her mouth. With a shaky hand, the girl raised a pistol to her chest and shot. “Healing Shot!” Much to Lilha's astonishment, the magical girl’s injuries healed like they’d never existed. The black magical girl whirled on the fair. “What happened, Nier?” The girl said. “How is she so powerful?! She crumpled me with a single hit!” Huh? She isn’t a friend of Seina’s? “I don’t know, Takako!” The fairy threw up his tiny arms. “Her fairy was just some peasant! Not elite cool people like ourselves!” The black magical girl crossed her arms and looked away, a pouting expression on her face. “This is so lame. Next time, she won’t be so lucky! She just caught me off guard! ” What was going on? Were magical girls not the pillar of goodness Lilha had believed? “Next time?” Nier replied. “You’re not thinking of facing her again? We need to get Emiyo. We can’t defeat her by ourselves!” Takako whirled on her fairy companion, pointing a finger into his chest. “No, we’re doing this alone. I refused to return to Starlight Dream, begging for help. I have a reputation!” The magical girl’s jaw firmly clamped shut, refusing to argue on this subject. “Fine.” The fairy sighed, landing on a nearby rock. If they’re also fighting against Seina, then they’d be useful allies. Lilha might be finally rid of that hateful girl forever! “Well, if you’re an enemy of Seina, perhaps we can help each other,” Lilha said, leaving her hiding spot behind the trash can. “Who are you?” Takako raised an eyebrow at the newcomer. “My name is Lilha. I am the Queen of Vampires.” She replied, standing up proudly. “Really?” The magical girl’s skeptical eyebrow rose even higher, eying Lilha’s ice cream vendor uniform. Lilha’s face burned hot, fighting back her embarrassment. “It’s a disguise. It helps me blend in so Seina doesn’t recognize me.” “She has an evil aura, so I don’t think she’s lying about being a vampire at least,” Nier said, flying up to examine the newcomer. “Why do I need some vampire’s help?” Takako asked. “You’re the one so incompetent you couldn’t stop a single girl from taking the world back from you.” Excuse me?! Didn’t you just lose to her too?! After taking several deep breaths, Lilha calmed herself, remembering the bigger picture. Too much was at stake. She couldn’t afford to lose a valuable ally. “Nevertheless, you’ve seen her power,” Lilha said, crossing her fingers, praying this would work. “Without a solid plan, you won’t be able to defeat her. Seina can’t be defeated through brute force.” “She might have a point.” The fairy replied, nodding. “Okay.” Takako rolled her eyes. “I refuse to lose to that goody two-shoes loser again. Besides, a sidekick wouldn’t be too bad.” Sidekick?! Again, Lilha fought back her annoyance, forcing a smile. I hate magical girls so much! “Good, I think I know someone that might help us. Together, Seina doesn’t stand a chance!” Besides, even if they failed, another magical girl would eventually arrive and put Seina’s head on a pike. Either way, vengeance would soon be hers!

[takaraphoenix]

Your opinion on Jace for the opinion thingy?

Oooh my precious shiny sweet angel boy I miss him so much. ;^;

So, I have a weakness for the “cocky bastard with an attitude who is actually a Very Soft Boy for those he loves”.

He deserved so much better.

Like, he deserved better than both the show and the fandom.

I still. I... I honestly have never seen a fandom that hates its male lead so massively? Yes, not all, but damn a too high percentage. Like how do you end up in a show where you hate one of the TWO PROTAGONISTS. Because yeah, the show had a bunch of main characters, but Clary and Jace are, without question, the protagonists. I mean, this is a rethorical question, I completely know where these people came from and what these people’s motivation was, I just still can’t believe that that is A Thing That Exists... :D

And the show just -- I’ve said it before, I will say it again, the show’s biggest flaw was that the writers were soap-opera addicts and somehow forgot to write a compelling fantasy story and develop characters and platonic relationships in favor of All The Romantic Drama Nonsense they could cram in there.

And good gods did Jace deserve better than that.

When they finally gave him a big, focused plotline and dove more into his past, confirming his mental illness, I thought, you know like a fool, that they would actually focus on his recovery afterward.

But lol no. As soon as his girlfriend was “back from the dead”, his mental illness just... stopped magically and the trauma or all the things he had suffered during the possession and war were literally just shrugged off. No lasting effects on his mental health at all, the character’s personal suffering were shelved in favor of him becoming Clary’s crutch.

And look, I know Clary’s been through shit in the show too and had a lot of trauma to deal with, but Jace’s own trauma should not have been written off like that in favor of hers. When writing a healthy relationship, it helps when both parties are written to support each other and if you, as the writer, are too incompetent to have two characters with huge trauma and show them deal with it, then, I don’t know, don’t put them through that trauma to begin with??

Jace fucking killed his grandmother, his only living relative, but hey he got to look at Clary’s pretty face again so he was Totally Fine. That’s bullshit. Trauma, especially not as intense as what he’s been through, doesn’t just disappear through the Power Of Love.

The lack of platonic relationships was also pathetic.

Luke Garroway, known child-adopter and Dad To All, believed Jace to be Jocelyn’s biological son and yet we got nothing. The only times they even interacted with each other was because of Clary. The relationship between Luke and Jace could have been so much. Not just because of the “hey so you’re the son of the love of my life wanna talk about it”, but also because of the “hey so you’re the son of my former parabatai and been abused by him for years wanna talk about it”. Them bonding over Valentine and the abuse they both have suffered at his hands could have been so incredible.

(And then there was that one conversation that cut into Jace’s mental health history and I thought this is it! now they will give me the Luke-Jace! but instead they just forgot about that plotline completely... -___-)

Magnus Bane, with whom Jace lived, they just... nope. Every single interaction between them was about Alec. And yes, I know I have the personal shipper bias of them being my OTP but even on a platonic non-shipper level - they literally lived together, they are so similar in personality, this could have had such a brilliant friendship if the show had cared to develop it, but nope, the only reason Jace would interact with the man he lived with was to validate Magnus’ romantic canon relationship...

Alec! They’re freaking parabatai, canon soulmates, but their relationship just was more and more reduced so by the final season literally the only interactions they had were “So How Is Your Boyfriend, Alec?”, I mean holy shit it’s almost like your parabatai just murdered his grandmother and a bunch of people while being possessed and then turning highly suicidal (for like the fifth time in this show but who’s counting :D), no need to talk to him about any of that, rather tell him about your boyfriend and ask him about his girlfriend.

Simon. That teasing of the “one year later” showing them as best friends but the show never actually developing this much - this friendship, again, could have been so great. But like 90% of it happened off-screen during that one year time-skip.

Max! Jace’s little brother who supposedly, according to book-readers, adores Jace. Not too much of that in the show. And then M@ryse poisoned his mind into flat-out calling Jace not his brother to his face but instead of actually adressing this and having them resolve that, having them talk, we got one scene during the runeing ceremony where Jace nods at Max and Max smiles back at him and whoop that’s how we resolve that! Despite how deep it cut, no need to actually develop this platonic relationship.

I’m just... so salty and angry about this. Jace as a character had so much potential and there could have been so many fascinating platonic dynamics there and there was so much trauma to deal with, but all the show cared about was The Romance.

(And no, not just this romance. I know that all characters suffered from this, literally every single main character suffered from having their personal development and their potential platonic relationships cut down in favor of cramming more relationship drama into it...)

I just... my boy deserved better.

[tinkdw]

14x02: bait, loving myself and ptsd

My episode review / meta for 14x02 covering the main points:

Michael / Dean meta and speculation as to what this means next.

Cas’ arc exposition, learning to accept and love himself for who he is.

Nick as the Dean mirror to come, thanks to new Archangel-vessel link canon.

Michael / Dean

The episode opener reminds us that Michael is sadistic and plays a long game “I could have done this quick but I wanted to enjoy it”.

This really sets us up well for the fact that whatever the reason, Michael has made the choice to “leave” Dean (I say this loosely as we don’t know what the new canon is they’re playing with re: Archangel vessels link to the Archangel after they’ve left).

We’ve also had the word “bait” twice in two episodes, right before Dean is suddenly and with no explanation freed, right back into his family.

More side eyes.

It definitely feels like a long game choice, he’s going to enjoy whatever it is that he’s done to Dean, whether it’s literally just “the hunted becoming the hunter” and he’s now watching Dean keenly or is actually inside him hiding somehow or something else entirely, who knows, but it’s 100% going to rear it’s head later.

I’m also 100% sure Michael is the one who punched the mirror and I kinda love that symbolism that he’s SO ABSOLUTELY in control and Dean can’t just expel him before he magically disappears so... serious side eyes.

In general Michael is just continuing along the theme we already know, he’s a genocidal self aggrandising asshole who here is also reminiscent of the nazis with his experiments. They’re keen to hammer home the “bad guy” symbology.

Michael may be temporarily/semi “out” of Dean but he is in no way gone.

The rest under the cut

Monsters v Humans and the grey area

Jack to Lucifer: you’re not my father, youre a monster.  Nick about the murderer of his family: He’s not a man, he’s a monster.

More excellent reminders that monsters does not equal supernatural creature and the other way around. It’s about your choices not who you are.

Cas

This episode showcases Cas’ continued mental health improvements since his death/resurrection metaphor allowed him to address and move past his guilt/self worth issues that have plagued him since season 7. We have exposition that he feels happier, more content in himself and doesn't equate his powers to himself. Whilst of course this raises huge human!cas endgame feels it doesn’t necessarily tell us this is the only way, more that he is realising that he is valid and should love himself for who he is, not how useful he is as a tool. The Jack mirror here has worked wonders and this scene really hammers it home after last episode’s ramp up to it.

Cas also is the exposition here to “people are not magically born superheroes, heroes at all, powerful, good, leaders etc they have to work at it and choose it because they’re good people”. Good people sometimes fail and that’s okay. Patience, persistence and a good moral compass are what get you through.

*I’m clapping whilst tearing up and whooping all at the same time*

Meanwhile...

We then not only address Cas’ mental well being but also some of the past canon that *some people* still think is a point of interest but everyone else has had figured since at least season 10.

Jimmy is dead and gone, Cas wells up with emotion when talking about him and his biggest regret in millennia of existence is what happened to Jimmy and his family. He could not help his nature as an Angel of needing a vessel and he was also just following orders at this point lets remember, he wasn’t making his own choices.

But once he was making his own decisions and realised what he had caused by collateral damage he did what he could to help them. He actively looked for Claire, he tried so hard to save Claire and Amelia, albeit he was unable to succeed with Amelia, he continues to try to help Claire. 

Nick’s harsh words are not, as the Cas haters would like to believe telling us that this is fact. Of course it’s not, the show doesn’t villainise it’s lead protagonists for funsies, calling them the same as Lucifer, the biggest villain to ever villain on the show who made clear just 2 episodes previously that he didn’t give a shit about anyone else whilst this scene shows us Cas literally tearing up over what happened to Jimmy... the mere concept this is supposed to be taken at face value us... *insert laugh crying emoji*, lbr that’s just so completely illogical and so stupid I won’t even bother addressing it, I’ll just talk about what the point of it is. 

It’s a set up for us to reel back and think “ouch!, what? no!” and for Cas himself to address, which he does well here, without creating excuses but by showing real regret and caring over the matter whilst we know he is doing his best to fix the mistake through the episodes we’ve seen him dealing with Claire previously.

New Archangel - vessel link canon

Nick is a mirror and useful to the Michael!Dean plot, I am happy about that, but I’m only moderately interested in this plot device Archangel-vessel link thing because it’s setting up for later in the season boring rehashing of more Michael/Lucifer plot line and tbh I’m extremely over it and want to move on with my life and wish the show would move on already. 

I’ve seen interpretations on my dash that Nick was the monster who killed his family and whilst I get that, imo that’s not where they’re going with this. It’s more that this is a next step up from the first clicking fingers when emotionally compromised. Nick lost control due to his extreme emotions and the Lucifer link, whatever it is, meant he channeled Lucifer’s anger and ended up killing his neighbour. This makes far more sense in terms of how it will later be a useful mirror for Dean who will at times lose control and ‘go Michael’ more and more over the season I imagine. I just don’t really know what the point of this is if not tbh! 

We know from interview spoilers that Dean is “semi-possessed”, not truly free, will have repercussions etc and this Nick-Lucifer mirrored link where he channels Michael’s emotions is too obvious not to be relevant imo. It also links perfectly to all the Dean meta since forever about his John issues, with Michael being the epitome of a John mirror and Dean having moments of acting like him despite this not being who he truly is and finally throwing it off at the end of the season, this could be used utterly brilliantly metaphorically and close off the Dean’s daddy issues theme that’s been an underlying running theme since 13x01 especially. I look forward to that aspect.

[anniebanniebaby]

to all you, yes YOU

Please read this shit

Ana or not, binge and purge or not, if you have any unhealthy eating habits and you’re just looking at these tags out of curiousity or for inspiration or something, run the fuck away. Don’t ignore this post PLEASE I did that shit too, keep fucking reading

Run the FUCK away

I struggled when I was 13, kind of recovered but had an unhealthy relationship with food and unhealthy eating habits for 7 years. Now I feel like I’m sicker than I was at 13. I’m 20 fucking years old. I thought I would be the exception. I ignored these posts. “I’ll just stop when I lose some weight!” “I’ll just stop!” No!!! No shit will not happen like that, I promise you!!! Just. Run please. Go get help PLEASE even if you think you’re not valid even if you think this post is dramatic PLEASE RUN as far away from any of this shit as you can because I swear to god the more you’re in it the deeper you fucking sink. You’re sinking while literally physically, mentally, and emotionally getting weaker. Do you know how hard it is to save yourself from drowning when you’re strong? Do you know how much harder it is to save yourself from drowning when you’ve gotten & are getting weaker and weaker??

Please. Please go. I love you so much and I wish I listened. I wish I listened at 12 and 13 and every year after that and this year. This shit is not something that magically disappears. It’s been 7-8 years. And here I am. I’ve fallen back into it harder than ever but genuinely the most frustrating part is you think Ana understands. You think your ED can be your friend. I have destroyed and am currently annhilating every relationship I fucking have. Because this monster growing in your brain is the most selfish entity/being/ damn parasite you could ever imagine. And it will trick you too. It will slither in and multiply until it runs you. Drives you. Demands your thoughts, your emotions, your time, your calories, your nutrients, your health, your safety, your sanity and your entire life. It wants it all & it will snatch that shit so much faster than you even think is possible.

How you feel is valid. You are valid. You deserve love. You deserve a good life. You deserve to eat. You deserve nourishment, contentment, and overall health. This post is not an exaggeration. I wish I listened to literally any of these posts before. Please listen to me. Please listen and please turn the fuck around.

You deserve so much better than this and no YOU are not the exception to that statement. I don’t give a fuck - there is no reason you can give that will justify torturing yourself and ruining your life. It may sound understandable to me. Some of us might even relate. But when you read this and think to yourself: everyone else deserves that, but not me! She doesn’t know me! She doesn’t know she doesn’t know she doesn’t know and therefore this applies to everyone but me

You are WRONG. This post is for YOU. This post is for every human being reading it regardless of your past your present regardless of anything in your life I swear to god YOU are not the exception to deserving a good, decent, and healthy life. This is for you. This is especially for you.

Run.

[shittyfandomimagines]

Anxiety

Sad but fluff

Word count: 2,079

Shawn just seems like some bf material.

GIF creds to owner

You should be a better person, it wouldn’t kill you to be nicer. Maybe you shouldn’t have said that it probably made you sound stupid. You need to venture out some more and go out with friends more, it’s weird that you’re okay with staying home all the time.

Well, you’re not obligated to go out all the time. No one is going to remember what you said, it’s not that bad. You’ve got the biggest heart.

I have learned from years of therapy that I just needed to challenge my thoughts, I was letting my anxiety and irrational thoughts begin to interfere with my life again. I had a few years of easiness, I learned to push through it. Now, I’m just spiraling back into my old ways.

I spent a while in a day program that was like a mental hospital, it helped with the end of my teenage years, but apparently, I’m still the same fucking mess from 5 years ago. I was constantly looked down upon for my constant anxiety, it pulled me out of school for a while. My family didn’t believe in mental health issues, my friends made me feel like I disappeared just because I couldn’t hang out. You never realize who is truly there for you until you can’t mentally or physically be the person they wanted to be.

I met Shawn and it was easier to be with him. I don’t think I ever explained that I had anxiety but maybe I was just someone who liked to stay in. Which, in hindsight was good for him because of the press. I didn’t have to change myself for him and the more I stayed with him, the more I was able to open up and go back into the world.

“Babe, please come with me to the supper tonight.” He pleaded earlier today. I could tell that he was defeated or disappointed when I said no. I knew he wanted me there and I’d love the time we would spend together. It’s just my irrational side of me just knew I’d make a fool of myself and wish I was back at our home.

I’ve thought about how upset he had been all afternoon and here it is at 7:30, I’m still a worrying piece of shit. “One last call, are you sure you don’t want to come with me?” He asks as he walks back into the room as he exited the bathroom. He did look really fucking good in his Armani suit, I wanted to go just to stare at him.

“Sorry babe, no.” I wanted so bad to just get up and be in the present with him, I’m just not that person right now. He just sighed defeatedly and then stood in front of the mirror, he was trying to fix his tie.

I get up to stand behind him, I was staring at his reflection in the mirror, I just wish I was the right fit for this lifestyle. “You look great Shawn.” I smile from behind him and he turns around to face me. “Well, you could look even more amazing if you came with me.” He pouts and I get on my tippy toes, I kiss his lips gently.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t feel like it,” I say as I get back to my regular height. “You never want to go out with me anymore.” He puffs out air and I could tell he was upset, I didn’t know how to respond. I did feel like there was a blow to my chest because he never once was angry at me because I was a homebody.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t want to socialize tonight,” I admit and take a small step back, I shouldn’t even have to apologize for my own valid feelings. “Well, then when will you ever? You haven’t really wanted to anything for like 2 months now! When will it change?” His tone started to change, I wanted to cry so bad.

“You’re going to be late.” I clear my throat and I took a bigger step back, I just needed him to leave so I could cry it out. “Whatever.” He rolls his eyes and I wait for him to walk out of the room before letting the tears start to fall.

I heard the front door close loudly, I flung myself on the bed. If the roles were reversed and it was his mental health on the line, I would’ve never made him feel like shit for not wanting to go out. Then again, I never was open about what was ‘wrong’ with me.

I have felt this torment for a long time from friends and family when I didn’t want to hang out, I was always known as the Debby Downer, the killjoy. I was never once asked why I didn’t want to, I was just labeled as the person to stop asking if they want to hang out.

I felt all the years of disappointment and pain start to make my chest tighten in panic; holy shit this is going to be a situation like my old friends who stopped trying. He will most likely break up with me, great.

God, you’re so fucking stupid and I never wanted to hurt Shawn. I really did love hanging out with him when I didn’t let my anxiety take over, just seems like I’ll never really win the fight with anxiety.

——

I had already accidentally induced 2 panic attacks by 8:45, I mean I’m a whole fucking mess. I always seem to distance myself and hurt others. Great.

I heard the front door close and I jump slightly, I wasn’t expecting him to be back until at least 11. It wouldn’t be new for them to go to eat and then go get some drinks at the club.

I quickly rub the tears off my eyes and turn the bedside lamp off and flip over onto my stomach, shutting my eyes quickly. I let my hair fall over my puffy eyes, no need to concern him with my crying.

His footsteps get closer to the room and I feel my anxiety build in my chest, I was so afraid he’d come to my side and see my tearful eyes.

When I sense his body in front of me, I cuss in my mind for jinxing myself.

I feel his hand start to brush my hair out of my eyes, he stays quiet for a few seconds. “I know you’re awake.” He says and I sigh defeatedly. “Yeah, I am,” I say and keep my eyes closed still. He turns on the lamp and pushes my legs over so he could sit down.

“Sit up, I want to talk.” He softly demands and I sigh once more before sitting up, my eyes opening slowly. He sees my red eyes and I watched his face falter. “Why are you crying

baby?” He asks and I shake my head, I wave it off.

“Is it me? I’m so sorry.” He grabs my hand and I shrug. “It’s okay,” I mumble and he kisses my hand softly. “I came home early to apologize actually. I just wanted to make sure you knew that I wasn’t mad at you for not coming. I knew it came across like that, I was just sad that we haven’t gone out together in a while.” He explains even though I told him it was okay.

“It’s all forgiven.” I really was accepting his apology, but I felt a new wave of tears just overflow in me. I was sad because I knew I was letting him down, I wasn’t what he was hoping for in the past 2 months. He jumps up quickly to sit beside me, he pulled me into his arms.

I felt bad for even crying, I just wanted to disappear so I wouldn’t hurt him even more. “Baby, it’s okay. I’m sorry I upset you so much, I’m so sorry.” He whispers and I just felt like shit, now he’s worried that he was the initial part of my pain.

“It’s not just you babe.” I try to say but I was a choked up mess. “When you’re ready then I’m open ears.” He whispers and I nod, I just hide my body into his chest. I felt so safe in his arms and I hated it.

“I have really bad anxiety and I’m always letting people down. I’m so sorry that I’m one more person you have to deal with.” I sob and he rubs my back, I felt like a wimp. “You never mentioned your anxiety.” He whispers and I nod slightly. “I didn’t want to disappoint you with my problems,” I admit and he scoffs, mentally I knew it was so stupid when said aloud.

“I once made you leave work to come to the animal shelter with me, we’ve established that our problems will never be disappointing or silly.” He soothes and I nod.

“I was in a partial hospitalization program when I was 17, I had allowed my anxiety to get so bad when I was a teen. I avoided school and I stopped hanging out with all my friends or family. So when you said that I wasn’t going because I didn’t want it to be with you, I felt like all my reoccurring fears surfaced. I spent years in pity for myself because all my friends left me behind because they stopped caring about me once I became absent. I just felt like you would’ve left too.” I spoke so quickly and I let the tears roll down, I felt bad for crying on his suit.

“You need to change. I’m going to mess up your suit.” I push myself off of him and he sighs. “Well, I wouldn’t even care but since you won’t let me hold you, I’ll change.” He jokes as he walks into the closet. He came back with some gray sweatpants without a shirt on. “I don’t want to cry on your bare chest! You’ll be all wet!” I hated that he was so goofy and made me laugh when I’m in the middle of a breakdown.

“Fine!” He exclaims jokingly and went back into the closet, he came back out with a black shirt on. He jumps back to his spot and pulls me into his lap again. He was wiping off the tears and he messed with my hair.

“I would never leave you just because you didn’t want to go out. I wish you would’ve told me about your anxiety a long time ago, so I wouldn’t make you feel bad for it. I know what it’s like to struggle with it and I would never want you to feel like a burden that I have to carry around. You didn’t choose to have anxiety, I’m sorry that people made you feel bad for it all of your life.” He was rubbing my cheekbone gently and I felt more tears surface.

“I just feel stupid for even crying over this!” I sniffle and he just shushed me. “Hey, baby you have no reason to feel stupid over it. I’m glad you told me so we can face this together. I want you to get help and I want you to know I’m here for you every step of the way. I promise.” He puts feathery kisses my forehead.

“You promise that I’m not just something you have to deal with? I don’t want to sleaze you into trying to help me. I don’t need to be a burden or a nuisance.” I almost croaked it out, he just shakes his head.

“You’ve been the love of my life for two years, just because you didn’t tell me a long time ago doesn’t mean that you’re sleazing me into helping. I love you and I want to support you, I can’t magically heal you as the stories go. I just want to be your helping hand because I love you.” He kisses my cheek and I felt more tears surface, only because he was being so amazing and I never had anyone understand as he did.

“I love you so much.” I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into a bear hug. “I love you more, we’ve got this.” He tells me and kisses my neck gently.

“I believe in you.”

[star-anise]

So. I’m currently reading Arrows of the Queen, by Mercedes Lackey, since it was finally released on audiobook this year. Re-reading, in fact; reading these books as a 31-year-old therapist instead of a starry-eyed 13-year-old. 

I ranted the other night about the book's depiction of Elspeth as "spoiled" instead of "abused", and @feathersescapism (as part of the post's excellent and thoughtful contributions) said this about Mercedes Lackey:

It’s so effing messy for me because like on the one hand she saved my life. She was the VERY first place I saw loving, validated, celebrated queer relationships and ironically Vanyel was the first time I saw an example of someone who was angry and hurt and messy and bad at people and bullied but not a passive victim be portrayed as fundamentally loveable. As in fact valuable enough, worthy enough to be PURSUED, even, to have someone make the effort to get past his hostile defense behaviors. That was priceless to me. Unfortunately it’s like….it was water when I was dying of thirst but it turns out it was water laced with heavy metals that then did a lot of long term damage.

Which is partly just a concentration thing; if you are drinking from many wells, having one be poisoned won't damage you as much overall. But if it's your only source of water, even trace amounts get dangerous. And, well, we were Eighties babies, mentally ill queer kids with access to small-town libraries who ducked guidance counsellors who pushed conformity as the path to happiness.

So I just found a scene that I think really shows that Lackey was writing from a specifically 80s understanding of psychology, before we knew almost anything about trauma; as considered today, it's bad practice on multiple levels, and can point to some of the underlying problems with the Valdemar worldview.

TW child abuse, child neglect

So in this part of the book, 13-year-old Talia, who was rescued from her awful abusive life among the Holderkin by a giant magical horse, is settling into her new life as a Herald-trainee. She attends classes during the day, and then sleeps in her own room in a dormitory wing of her fellow trainees. Her teachers know that she displays all the symptoms of an abused child, and that she's from an extremely insular and rigid culture.

Her teacher, Teren, asks her to stay after class, and she does, wary and panicked because she doesn't know what's going on. He explains that the Heralds sent a letter back to her family to explain that her disappearance was because of the magical horse choosing her as a future Herald, and they get half-taxes that year and she's going to be very important. Her family, however, replies to say only, "Sensholding has no daughter Talia." Because she ran away instead of staying and getting married, she is disobedient and bad, and therefore totally shunned by her entire community.

She didn't realize she was weeping until a single hot tear splashed on the paper, blurring the ink. She regained control of herself immediately, swallowing down the tears. [...] It was odd, but when she'd chosen to run away, their certain excommunication hadn't seemed so great a price to pay for freedom; but somehow now, after all her hopes for forgiveness had been raised only to be destroyed by this one note-- Never mind; once again she was on her own--and Herald Teren would hardly approve of her sniveling over the situation. "It's all right," she said, handing back the note to the Herald. "I should have expected it." She was proud that her voice only trembled a little, and that she was able to meet his eyes squarely. Teren was startled and slightly alarmed; not at her reaction to the note, but by her immediate iron-willed suppression of it. This was not a healthy response. She should have allowed herself the weakness of tears; any child her age should have. Instead, she was holding back, turning further into herself. He tried, tentatively, to call those tears back to the surface where they belonged. Such suppression of natural feelings could only mean deep emotional turmoil later--and would only serve as one more brick in the wall the child had placed between herself and the others around her. "I wish there was something I could do to help." Teren was exceedingly distressed and tried to show that he was as much distressed at the child's denial of her own grief as with the situation itself. "I can't understand why they should have replied like this." If he could just get her to at least admit that the situation made her unhappy, he would have an opening wedge in getting her to trust him. [...] "I'm going to be late--" Talia winced away from the outheld hand and ran, wishing Teren had been less sympathetic. He'd brought her tears perilously close to the surface again. She'd wanted, above all other things, to break down and cry on his shoulder. But--no. She didn't dare. When kith and kin could deny her so completely, what might not strangers do, especially if she exposed her weaknesses? And Heralds were supposed to be self-sufficient, self-reliant. She would not show that she was unworthy and weak.

What I took away from this book, at 13 and during most successive readings, was that the fault in this situation is Talia's unwillingness to trust Teren and break down. It is her inability to open up emotionally to her deep, vulnerable feelings that causes problems. I suspect that my reading is not terribly far off the narrative's own perception of the central problem. In the 1980s, psychology was very based around the individual, the dance of the id, ego, and superego. Talia's problem is that she has an overactive superego, which prevents her from expressing her natural feelings in a healthy way. She uses unhealthy coping mechanisms, which must be overcome to achieve health and full congruence with her feelings. This runs very much on the catharsis model, where emotions build up like a boil, and must be lanced; once someone "vents", they feel better.

Now, at 31, and trained to help vulnerable 13-year-olds, I can see a lot of differences in how I'd assess the problem now. The trauma field especially has come to understand that humans are essentially relational beings; our brains are born in relationships. We function best in relationships. We need, more than anything else, to feel connected and understood. And then, above that: we are beings in brains and bodies. Our consciousness is limited by the hardware it runs on. If our body is dedicating all its resources to fight-or-flight, we cannot be rational, logical thinkers. We need to understand how to regulate our own emotions, both by personal actions and through relationships with others, to achieve health. It takes repeated, patterned practice to master the skills of understanding and moderating those emotions. Coping mechanisms may be unhealthy, but as I was taught in grad school, "All psychopathology was adaptive once." If you're going to take away someone's unhealthy coping mechanism, you need to have first replaced it with something healthier.

So looking at this scene now, I can point out that Talia represses her emotions instantly because in her family of origin, she got beaten up for crying. Her teachers have already observed that she has the defensive and startle-reactions of an abused child. It should not be very hard for Teren to put two and two together and think: She has been systematically trained to view emotion as unsafe. 

He could, at this point, make the rules of their current situation clear: "It's all right to cry. You don't have to put on a brave face for me." This would let Talia know that she won't lose support or status if she cries. But that assumes, frankly, that she can cry; that the experience of being vulnerable in front of another human being wouldn't be too overwhelming, perhaps terrifying, for her to bear. He could also validate that, and let Talia know he sees her and understands. "It'd be all right if you let that guard down, but it looks like you've got a lot of experience with dealing with hard knocks. If you ever do want to talk about it, I'm here."

It's important for him not to try to force her to show feeling the way he thinks she should. He doesn't actually know that it's safe, or that he's safe. Traumatized people need, more than almost anything else, to achieve a measure of control over their own emotions and bodies. They need to be able to make themselves calm when they need to be calm, and not to be ambushed with sadness or fear out of the blue. It should be, more than anything, Talia's decision of when and where to express her emotions. Is bottling it all up unhealthy for her? Oh, probably. She might get depression later this month, or heart disease in 40 years. But being forced to cry when she's not ready to can leave her feeling violated and retraumatized, right here, right now.

The thing that makes crying comforting for most people is that they have a very deep pattern etched on their brains: They cry, someone comforts them, their pain recedes, they feel calmer. It's the pattern of a thousand hungry wakeups as a baby where someone was gentle and kind and fed them. It's skinned knees kissed and broken toys mended. But Talia probably doesn't have that; her experience of crying has been that she's punished and abused for it, and as an infant whose mother died in childbirth, she probably wasn't adequately nurtured either to build those good associations in the first place. Crying just takes her into a deeper place of loneliness and self-hatred. So for her to soothe herself, she might need to be taught very basic ways of doing that--to take a break, to do something she loves, to get a hug from a friend. Her traditional reaction has been to mask her emotions, and to self-isolate and let those feelings of pain and alienation swamp her.

What he could even do, as I sometimes do as a therapist, is respect that repression as a way of coping and roll with it. If someone can only bear the most glancing reference to their trauma? Then glance. Use black humour or obvious irony to acknowledge the situation without engaging with its emotional depth. “So, you know, no big deal. I bet that’s what you’ve always wanted.” So long as it’s paired with other kinds of real caring--especially useful, immediate help and close emotional attunement--that’s not out of place.

One thing he seems to have assumed is that of course, if your family is awful and devastating, you get to take the morning off to cry. I can only assume that's why he's pushing her to cry at the end of class, when she has another one to go to right after. But she might not know that. Certainly her familyexpected that if they did something awful and devastating, Talia needed to get back to work as soon as possible. Teren doesn't discuss this, and I think it's important; Talia goes to something like four other classes, has lunch, and reads for an hour before she finally gets to do anything relevant to taking care of her emotions. Implicitly, the idea that schedule and routine supercede emotions, and that emotional work takes second place, gets reinforced by the system that thinks it's "saving" her.

The other thing traumatized people struggle with, next to control, is connection. Trauma is hugely isolating; it reroutes resources away from the parts of the brain that foster social connection, so people literally lose track of anyone who might be loving and supportive, and it's hard to make ordinary people understand what you're going through. This is part of why Teren showing Talia all his distress isn't really good for her; he's overloading her still further with natural empathy for his emotions, increasing the weight she has to carry mentally, but not reinforcing her connections. He doesn't remind her that other Heralds are her family now, nor does he give her help in how to reach out to anyone.

Who might Teren remind her of? As much as he's taking on the role of The Person She Can Be Emotional To, he's hardly ever in her life; this is the last day of their week-long class where he met her for one hour a morning. He could encourage her to talk to one of her regular teachers, including his twin Keren, who teaches her equitation, or the cook, in whose kitchen Talia is most confident and in her element. If her dormitory had older Heralds who lived there in a kind of supervisory or mentoring role, spending hours of unstructured free time with the trainees, he could direct her to one of them. He could even direct her to her age-peers, with whom she lives, who might not be the most emotionally attuned but certainly seem to be the group with whom the Heralds expect her to do most of her emotional bonding.

Or he could--now here's a thought--suggest she spend the rest of the morning with the magical psychic horse who can beam rays of love and devotion directly into her brain.

But he doesn't. It is only after Talia has attended classes on history, geography, mathematics, etiquette, and archery, eaten lunch, read for an hour, and cried in the back of the sewing room, that she finally sees her magic horse. And she does feel a bit better! But by then, her major adrenaline has worn off, and with it the ability to etch memories deeply into her brain; the first hours after her shock were spent ignoring her feelings and being disconnected from people who didn't notice she was in pain, thus reinforcing all her old traumatic impressions.

So the book sets up a recurring number of incidents where Talia's loneliness and isolation is reinforced by the world around her; where no one provides her the necessary scaffolding to help her build bridges with other people and develop the skills to be healthier; and then, as happens throughout the series, when something bad happens to her, she is blamed for being so isolated and repressed. 

When I was 13, I had no framework to understand any of this. On the schoolyard, I'd been taught many of Talia's lessons about the dangers of showing weakness, and in the classroom, about the importance of repressing emotions; I used her as an emotional model. (Later in the books, Talia lbecomes an Empath and Mind-Healer, which hugely impacted my decision to become a therapist.) But then, when her loneliness turned into defencelessness and her lack of emotional control turned into instability, the narrative said it was her fault for not being healthier. And so I thought: Yes. It is completely reasonable to provide a young person with no emotional support at all, and then get mad at them for being fucked up.

And so there's lead in the water.

[madamedeher]

Inquisitor as a Companion

Because I have no self control.

This is technically a mash up of 2 tags, the details of the Inqy companion and the banter can be found here and here.

Happy reading this is my son and I love him.

p.s Obviously Rivaini people wouldn’t use maker or Andraste as an exclamation SO since their society is ran by women I thought... why not make mother that kind of word.

Inquisitor’s Name: Cassian Bijor

Race / Class / Specialisation: Elf, Mage, Shape-shifter

Gender Identity: Male

Varric’s Nickname for them: Shocker

Short bio: Cassian Bijor, and elf who is half Dalish with an Orliesian last name is no stranger to questioning looks. As the son of a Rivaini seeker, he is gifted in the magic arts and knowledge of the fade.

Childhood was average for the man (or, as average as it could be). A lingering jealousy caused by his twin sister being next in line to be seer caused a large rift between the two. His sister, Misha, was a rather naive and tender-hearted woman, and Cassian thought he should be the seer instead of her.

Nonetheless, Cassian followed Rivaini tradition and trained to become head guard of his seaside village. When news of the rift spread to Rivain, so did news of the Inquisition looking for those who might have more than average knowledge of the fade. Bored of his born-into living style, Cassian jumped at the opportunity to help the Inquisition stop this evil spread.

What would their companion card look like? Cassian would be deep water with only his nose and above visible. His black hair would be spread across the water like tendrils. While you see little of his face, his expression seems calm/serene. In the background it looks like the beginning of a lightning storm behind him.

Recruitment mission: After getting a certain amount of power, Leliana would approach the inquisitor about a friend of hers who has ample knowledge on the fade and spirits. The Inquisitor can accompany her to a tavern where Cassian would approach the two, hugging Leliana and introducing himself.

The recruitment dialogue would breakdown as follows:

Inquisitor I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. Allow me to introduce myself: my name is Cassian Bijor, son of Seer Aniha of Apricce. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

---> Inquisitor Option 1: You’re the one Leliana was talking about.

The one and only. Has she talked of me much? Miss me that dearly, honey? [Leliana: Only for you, Cassie.] Come Inquisitor, sit, I imagine you want to hear why I asked for you.

---> IO2: Pleasure to meet you too, Cassian.

I appreciate the politeness. Come, sit, I imagine you want to hear why I asked for you.

---> IO3: Ah, when Leliana said she had a friend I shouldn’t have expected someone normal.

...Ha. Sit. Let me tell you why I asked for you.

---> (If Mage): Son of a seer? Isn’t a Seer a guardian mage in Rivain?

Mm, yes, sort of. I’d consider a Seer more of a leader such as a mayor than a strict guardian. Nonetheless, sit, I imagine you want to hear why I asked for you.

---+++---

When I heard of the Inquisition, I was instantly taken by the cause, as I’m sure many are. I have extensive knowledge on the fade and would like to formally extend that knowledge to you. I understand you already have am, “expert” on the matter, but tell me, do you know what makes a Seer?

---> IO1: Does it work like nobility in Ferelden where power is passed down?

Ah, well, yes that too, but that is not the main reason. A seer will allow herself to become possessed by a benevolent spirit when of age. Only then can she have the power and wisdom to protect her village.

---> IO2: Do I look like I know that, elf.

I suppose not. I’ll talk slowly for you. A seer will allow herself to become possessed by a benevolent spirit. With the power of the spirit, she can be a Seer.

---> IO3: Because they won a lottery picked out from a funny hat?

I suppose that would be more entertaining, but no. To be transparent, it’s actually quite a serious act. A seer will allow herself to become possessed by a benevolent spirit when of age. Only then can she have the power and wisdom to protect her village.

(If Solas is in the party, he’ll interject. “They let their seers become possessed by spirits, Inquisitor.”)

Neatly put, stranger. That is, in short, what happens.

---+++---

[Cassian Joins The Inquisition.] Sounds fun if anything. I’d like to have you on.

[Cassian Does Not Join The Inquisition.] You really think I’d let someone who allows possession in my Inquisition? No.

Where they would be in Skyhold / Haven:

Haven: Sitting in the tavern reading through a stack of books.

Skyhold: A table on the second floor of the tavern, reading a larger stack of books.

Personal quests:

Quest 1: Twin, Interrupted - Cassian gets a panicked note from his twin sister, Misha, who says she’s being held hostage by a group of cult-like templars who want to put her into a homemade circle. Cassian begs the Inquisitor to help him rescue his sister from the deranged group who holds her. After rescuing her she tells that she came to Fereldan looking for her brother. Their mother has started acting very strangely and she didn’t know what to do. Cassian leaves the inquisition until Skyhold. [Can’t initiate full romance unless this quest is complete and has to be done before leaving Skyhold]

Quest 2: Sheep’s Clothing, Wolf’s Call - Cassian returns to the Inquisition with his face scars and falls into a soldier’s arms. He’s taken to an infirmary where the Inquisitor tries to confront him about his absence, but he’s found to be in a coma. The Inquisitor can find a special plant through finding it on missions or a Leliana war table mission to give to Cassian and revive him. When given a poultice version of the plant, Cassian, after a bit of rest, reveals that his mother has been possessed by a demon. He tried taking care of it himself but he didn’t have it in him to kill his mother. Cassian instead held his now demon mother in a self made prison in a cave as to keep her from the village. Eventually he got too weak and had his sister keep her back while he went back the inquisition for help. Cassian tells the Inquisitor how he feels ashamed of his mother and is always criticized for his religion so he didn’t want to reveal his mother is one of the few Seer’s to succumb to temptation.

The Inquisitor can validate Cassian and help him deal with the situation.

There's a romance option here, where Inq can say he should never be ashamed of who he is and they personally quite like it. He kisses Inq and they’re now locked in his romance.

The Inquisitor can reject helping Cassian. Cassian will disappear until a certain amount of power reached and reports of a large bear is reported in the Hinterlands. If the Inquisitor goes to the Hinterlands to defeat the bear, on the bear’s body is a note written by Cassian saying he has nothing to live for. It’s heavily implied the bear the Inquisitor just killed is Cassian.

Quest 3: Death Comes In... - If helping Cassian he takes the Inquisitor and companions to the cave. His sister Misha and father Lemren are outside the cave, his sister casting a large shield at the mouth of the cave. Cassian dismisses his sister who is very physically tired and is helped by their father to rest. Lemren then explains to the group that the twins’ mother had started acting out of sorts a little after Cassian joined the inquisition. The group all advance into the cave (Lemren comes along, he’s a rogue with a bow and arrow). Aniha, possessed by a hunger demon, initiates a fight in her human form. When under a certain health point, Aniha will stop fighting and try to spark a deal with the group. The hunger demon from within says it will leave Aniha willingly if it can ravage the unsuspecting village she was the seer for in Rivain.

Option 1: If the deal is taken, the village is doomed for everyone in it to die. This also makes the Bijor family pariahs in Rivain and are ran out of the country. They stay in an alienage outside of Orlais instead of Rivain.

Option 2: If the deal isn’t taken, the hunger demon takes it’s true form and essentially becomes a boss battle. When defeated, it’s seen that the hunger demon targeted Lemren and Misha whom are mortally wounded. Lemren can be offered to become a warden but refuses. Aniha, Lemren, and Misha all die within this option, but the village in Rivain is saved and Cassian isn’t run out of his home country.

How to get their approval:

Recruit Cole [Greatly Approves]

Turning Cole human gets a Slightly Approves

Choosing the mages [Greatly Approves]

Allying with the mages earns Approves

Disband the Templars [Approves]

Help Vivienne with her main personal quest. [Slightly approves]

Side with mages in pretty much any instance

Have an open mind about the fade or magic in general

Inquire about Rivain or express an interest in going one day

How to get their disapproval:

Turn away Cole [Greatly Disapproves]

Choosing the Templars [Disapproves]

Allying earns Slightly Disapproves

Make the mages your soldiers instead of allies [Greatly Disapproves]

Leave Hawke behind in the fade [Disapproves]

Be mean to Sera or Cole

Are they romanceable? Yes, but getting to the romance is a kinda slowburn lmao. Can also be romanced by anyone. But there will be a cutscene that changes depending on race where he gives them a token of affection that relates to their culture.

Can you have sex with them? Yes, a bit before the final battle if you talk to him a scene will trigger

Are they open to polyamoury? Sort of. He’s technically open but extremely picky. The only person in Inquisition I can even kind of see that happening with is with Bull.

If they can be romanced and are not, will they begin a relationship / relationships with other character(s)? If so, who? Canonically he romances Bull, so sorry adoribull shippers Cassian will snatch him up.

Who are they friendly with? Leliana, Vivienne, Cole, Morrigan, Bull

Who do they dislike? Dorian, Solas, Cullen

Companion card changes:

Loyalty: After the 2nd personal quest, his card goes to him completely submerged with his hands up out the water. His black hair almost completely fills the water around him. When all of his personal quests are completed the card changes for a last time to him about ankle deep in the water, emptying a jug that seems to be filled with that water. His hair is shorter now and less wily, but completely covers his face.

Romance: Instead of being face deep in water, he’s now completely out of it. He also appears to be leaning over a figure and cradling them. The black tendril hair is still there and it seems to be wrapping itself around them. He’s wearing a slightly open golden robe. The storm from earlier is completely over them, but it seems like a ray of sun shines down on just them.

Side Missions: (eg: fetch / gather / kill quests) Probably random quests to find memorabilia of his home country. If you haven’t noticed he loves the place.

Opinions on mages / templars / how the world is going to shit? Like everyone he pretty much in panic mode. He doesn’t really understand what the mages go through but has clear sympathy for them. As someone who wasn’t raised by the chantry one iota he doesn’t understand the templars and the Andrastien religion, like, at all.

Something guaranteed to make them leave the party: Being mean to Cole is like the quickest way to stack disapproval, so.

Special Events:

Imprisoned at Redcliffe: How is your Inquisitor holding up in Redcliffe, being slowly infected with red lyrium over the course of a year? He’s barely lucid, probably. He can get enough thought collected to follow the inquisitor and throw some spells but he just wants to die.

At the Winter Palace: Does your Inquisitor enjoy the party, any special events with them at the Palace? He would have never experienced anything as grand and would fumble his way through the complicated manners.

In the Fade: Your Inquisitor’s reaction upon entering the Fade? Archdemon’s taunt, and Inquisitor’s response? Epitaph on their grave? The taunt would be his hidden regret yet jealousy towards his sister. He hates that he couldn’t be seer, but also feels guilty because he knows his sister didn’t want it either. He held resentment towards her for several years. Also his fear would take the shape of himself possessed. The tombstone was a little bit of a tough one. I think, in the end, it would say corruption. 

Trespasser: What is your Inquisitor up to two years after Corypheus’ defeat? Any special events with them over the events of Trespasser? This all depends on the personal quests endings. Obviously if you deny helping him in quest 2, he dies. If his family survives, he moves to the alienage they’re in in Trespasser and ends up dying on a missionary mission, squalid and poor (he also breaks up with the Inquisitor like right at the end of Trespasser). If the village is saved, and not romanced, he joins the chargers and ends up with bull. If romanced, he and the Inquisitor do odd work in Rivain and live in a lil cottage.

Banter

Cole’s reflection on their thoughts: Confusion, guilt, longing, rage... Rage. Rage. Past lives, past actions, so much anger compartmentalized into a tender heart. He wonders what life would be life if he could be as soft as he once was. He wants to be that innocent, that pure, that untouched. A mother’s touch fades away. It’d been years since someone hugged him. 

Damn the fade.

Comment(s) on Mages: “These ignorant souls. They have no idea what good they could do in the world, trapped in those towers.”

Comment(s) on Templars: “What is the point of this sect of guard? Rivain has existed for centuries without them, yet they act so scandalized when I tell them that fact.”

When looking for something: “Shall I cast a locating spell?”

When finding a campsite: “Ah, a place to rest our heads.”

When the Inquisitor Falls: “Attention to the inquisitor!”

When they are low on Health: “I’m falling back!”

When they see a Dragon:

[First time seeing a dragon with him in the party] “Sweet Mother… I’ve never seen a dragon before. They really are magnificent.”

“Poor creatures, trapped in their own powerful body. I wish we could domesticate them.”

When during their small side quest: “I truly appreciate this, Inquisitor”

Default Saying:

Hostile/Cold/Neutral

“Yes, Inquisitor?”

“Inquisitor, may I help?”

“I have a moment.”

Warm/Friendly

“Hello you!”

“My friend, something you need?”

“Of course I have a moment.”

Romanced

“Hello, beautiful boy/girl.”

“Always glad to see you, mi vida.”

Travel Banter with Canon Companions of your choice:

[Varric] You mad at me, Shocker?

[Cassian] Beg pardon?

[Varric] You always look at me with this face that says, “I’ll bury you alive if you step too close.”

[Cassian] That’s just my face, Varric.

----

[Cassian] So, Blackwall, I saw you woodworking the other day. You seem quite talented.

[Blackwall] (Sputters on breath) You- you were watching me? When? Where?

[Cassian] (Sigh) Still scared of me, are you.

[Blackwall] ...I apologize.

[Cassian] Don’t bother. I still don’t know why Sera told you that scary story about my supposed ghost friends.

----

If Not Romanced

[The Iron Bull] Hng!

[Inquisitor] Something wrong, Bull?

[The Iron Bull] Cass just shocked me!

[Cassian] He pinched my bottom. But that didn’t sound like a noise of pain, did it.

[The Iron Bull] Ha, nah, it really wasn’t.

[Literally Everyone] (GROANS)

---

If Romanced

[Cassian] Ahem, please do take time and remember to be careful.

[Inquisitor] Hm? Have I hurt myself recently?

[Cassian] The fact that you can’t keep track of your injuries is enough evidence you need to be more cautious, Mi Vida.

Friendship?: “Ah, the faithful Inquisitor. It’s good to see you again, friend.”

Leaving the Inquisition: “I thought... I thought the inquisition was different. You were different. Mother... why did I leave Rivain. I apologize, inquisitor, but I can no longer accompany you in good faith. Goodbye.”

[jintard]

So Much Pride!

Be here! Be queer! Be whatever you want to, dear!

Wow, how many flags have I made now? XD Anyway, Happy Pride my peeps! And if you’ve missed the previous ones, here they are:  Happy Pride, More Happy Pride, Even MORE Pride, Remy Pride, Deceit Pride

AROMANTIC Pride

DEMIROMANTIC Pride

APOTHISEXUAL Pride

GENDERFAUN Pride

QUESTIONING Pride

I was asked by @amethystdarkwolf to make a flag for those questioning their identity in the LGBTQ+ community. I can only hope I did the flag justice!

Meanings for the colours I chose:

Light Red - Represents joy, sexuality, passion, sensitivity, and love

Light Purple - Evokes romantic and nostalgic feelings, purple also symbolises power, wisdom, dignity, independence, creativity, mystery, and magic

Light Blue - Associated with health, healing, tranquility, understanding, and softness

Dark Blue - Represents knowledge, power, integrity, and seriousness

Aqua - Associated with emotional healing and protection

Olive Green - The traditional colour of peace

Light Yellow - Associated with intellect, freshness, and joy

White - Represents safety, goodness, and a successful beginning

If there is still a flag you aren’t seeing in my posts, send me a message and I’ll try to add it as soon as possible! I have one more set that I’ll be working on (so those of you who have asked for flags and still haven’t seen them, don’t worry, they’re coming!) All your identities are valid, and you all deserve to celebrate them!

Taglist:

@justanotherpurplebutterfly @analogicalisreal @crownswriter123 @i-sold-my-soul-to-thefandom @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @trans-and-gay-emo @fandomsofrandom @trashypansexual @lightning-skys @pandagirl0730 @katatles-the-fish @kingriptide @nuria-rivas12 @midnightcandy @stargazingtraveler @logically-sided @extremefander @dragonangel-funandfire @toujours-fidele @save-the-sanders @firefox2215 @erlenmeyertrashofsandersides @ashrain5 @thetrashiestfander @fashionkitty512 @tree4life25 @royallyanxious @unabashedlove4dadjokes @leave-dont-disappear @depressed-alone @yourworstnightmare999 @acrobaticcatfeline @anxious-doodle-monster @andy-the-anon @wolfgirlstuart @inloch @vrexemi @romanssippycup @red-the-ruler @valeandra79 @trixie85592 @the-randomest-ofthe-fandomest @v-blue-writer @just-fic-me-up @xx-pink-lars-is-best-lars-xx @melchann @roxiefox24 @pleasantlyunabashedfestival @vivimunwonder @emily-klaine @asterias-confused-writings @apologetically-anxious @narniasfinestavengingsociopath @sanders-trash-4ever @too-precious-to-process @sunflower-daddy-daniel

[marcoyghh310-blog]

How Successful People Make the Most of Their Room Design Ideas For Small Spaces

A person can enhance immunity and consequently normally create immunity to an HPV infection in only as short of time as a few months, sooner than it might produce any type of serious cervical damage. (Short Review of Book)

Conceivably have you once had a cold virus? Peradventure did you eliminate the issue? Certainly you survived it! You cannot cure a cold itself, however your immune system typically creates immunity to any cold infection within a couple of weeks. We call that being healed by your very own immune system!

And sure you will possibly get infected by an additional cold virus, because there exist 300 different runny nose infections. Yet you will certainly unlikely acquire the very same cold virus that you had in the past because you have actually developed resistance to that cold virus.

Grownups have currently had a great deal of the cold infections. Adults have actually acquired resistance to the viruses they have actually had. Therefore there are not lots of runny nose viruses existing for adults to acquire. That is why parents only get a couple of runny noses each year and kids succumb to a dozen colds each year.

HPV is identical in that HPV virus is simply one more infection. And you could most likely create immunity to HPV. Nonetheless, HPV is more capable at evading your immunity than are the cold viruses. Therefore you need to try harder to obtain resistance to HPV.

Assuming an individual does not do anything it can take a few years to develop resistance to human papilloma virus. If someone takes the author's recommendations, it takes just a couple of months to generate immunity to HPV. The longer one has human papilloma virus, the longer it could trigger damage. So it is best to generate resistance and do away with human papilloma virus as quickly as reasonable.

Someone may enhance the body's immune system and consequently usually establish immunity to an HPV virus in only a matter of a couple of months, prior to the time that it could generate any severe infection. (Book Review)

Many persons become perplexed and assume they have actually not created immunity to human papilloma virus just since they become contaminated once more by another strain of the over 100 HPV infections. However an individual might prevent additional direct exposure and additional HPV problems.

This amazing publication clarifies human papilloma virus problems, the most common sexually-transmitted infections in the USA, affecting over 20 million males and females. HPV triggers cervical dysplasia, cervical cancer, genital verrucas, plantar protuberances, miscarriages, the inability to conceive and also penile cancer cells.

It matters not how this information got involved in your possession. What matters is how you use such information just like countless others who have become immune to human papilloma virus.

The insightful expositor explains exactly how she carefully Used Dining Room Table And Chairs eliminated the signs of HPV and also completely healed her very own body of the HPV infection by reinforcing her resistance.

Just what in the world is HPV? The writer kept asking herself this question when she got the findings back from her gynecologist. She was devastated, confused and ashamed. The author had tons of questions however she did not like the answers she was receiving. Human papilloma virus, a sexually-transmitted issue that may lead to cervical cancer, is a lot more usual than what most assume. She created this writing to help others get rid of HPV.

One may reinforce immunity and quite simply develop immunity to an HPV infection in literally as short of time as a few months, sooner than it can make any kind of severe cervical damage. (Book Review)

Right here is the deal, this writing has to do with healing HPV virus, yet it is not only concerning HPV. It is about living the very best life we can live. It is about recognizing HPV as an awesome opportunity to take responsibility for our own health and wellness. When observed in this fashion, an individual could be grateful for HPV. Yes, happy! And keeping that appreciation and whatever else discussed in this publication, someone could, and someone will, heal the body! The author understands this is successful since it worked for her - it changed her life as well as her health.

Look at what some readers are claiming concerning this motivating book: "A lot of the women stated they learned that their doctors had been advising this magic ingredient for years with wonderful success for their clients with HPV virus as well as cervical dysplasia. And this permitted them to stay clear of LEEP procedures as well as cryotherapy for the cervix similar to what you described in your book!"

"This publication offered me hope! I should broaden my resources for examining this infection. When I discovered this publication by somebody who chose a different kind for therapy of HPV, I had to buy it."

An individual can enhance the immune system and therefore quite simply create resistance to an HPV virus in basically as short of time as a few months, before it might create any kind of momentous infection. (Selected Chapters of Book)

"I am so delighted I stumbled across your book which actually aided me to begin reframing my thoughts regarding myself and also this illness, as well as I am most likely to maintain it near me as I start this journey of healing myself. Thank you so much for your positive power and also for sharing this wonderful advice with me!"

"This easy to read book gives valid encouragement to ladies diagnosed with human papilloma virus. I am so pleased I reviewed it numerous months earlier, due to the fact that I appreciated her frankness and concur entirely that HPV virus is a virus, not an ethical judgment. Most current clinical tests show my severe dysplasia has disappeared."

"As a professional psychologist and yoga educator, I could attest to the extraordinary power of the mind-body link. Thank You For HPV not only resolves the healing power of your mind, it likewise offers you specific tools on ways to decrease your stress level and also live with even more health, peace and also joy. (See Book Sneak Preview)"

You may reinforce the immune system and generally create immunity to an HPV infection in only a matter of a couple of months, sooner than it can start any kind of severe damage. (Book Review)

Perhaps have you previously been down with a runny nose? Likely did you recover from the problem? Naturally you got over it! You won't cure an acute rhinitis directly, but your immune system normally creates immunity to any cold virus within several days. We call that being healed by your own immune system!

And definitely you will probably get an additional cold virus, due to the fact that there exist several hundred different runny nose infections. Yet you will never ever get the same https://penzu.com/p/936669c9 cold virus that you had in the past because you have established resistance to that cold virus.

Adults have actually in the past had a great deal of the runny nose viruses. Grownups have created immunity to the colds they have actually had. So there are not so many cold viruses around for adults to acquire. That is why parents just get a few colds each year whereas youngsters succumb to a dozen runny noses each year.

HPV virus is the same because HPV virus is just one more infection. Therefore you could generally develop resistance to HPV virus. Nevertheless, human papilloma virus is better at hiding from your immunity compared to the runny nose infections. Therefore you need to work a little harder to get immunity to human papilloma virus.

https://www.medschl.cam.ac.uk/

Assuming someone does nothing it can require a couple of years to develop immunity to HPV. If an individual follows the author's recommendations, it requires only a few months to create immunity to HPV. The longer a person has HPV, the more likely it can trigger cervical damage. So it is preferred to develop resistance and get rid of human papilloma virus as soon as reasonable.

An individual could reinforce the body's immune system and therefore quite simply establish resistance to an HPV infection in literally as short of time as a few months, before it can set up any type of major infection. (Selected Chapters of Book)

Many individuals become confused because they believe they have not developed immunity to human papilloma virus simply due to the fact that they get contaminated once more by another strain of the more than 100 HPV infections. Yet an individual might prevent future exposure and future HPV infections.

This amazing publication sheds light on HPV infections, one of the most typical STD infections in the United States, impacting over 20 million men and women. HPV virus creates cervical dysplasia, cervical cancer, genital protuberances, plantar verrucas, miscarriages, the inability to conceive and penile cancer.

It matters not how this information entered your possession. Just what matters is just how you use such data as countless others that have removed human papilloma virus.

The book's writer communicates just how she normally reversed the symptoms of HPV as well as totally recovered her very own body of the HPV virus problem by strengthening the resistance.

[garrettinmt077-blog]

Effects Of HPV On Females

You could strengthen immunity and generally create immunity to an HPV infection in literally a matter of a couple of months, prior to the time that it can set up any type of serious cervical injury. (Sneak Peak Book Review)

Possibly have you hitherto suffered through a common cold? Peradventure did you heal from it? Naturally you did! You won't heal an acute rhinitis directly, but your body generally creates resistance to a particular cold virus within several days. We call that cured by your very own immune system!

And sure you will possibly get infected by a different cold, since there exist 300 different cold viruses. However you will certainly never acquire the very same runny nose virus that you had before because you have actually established immunity to that particular virus.

Parents have previously had a great deal of the rhinitis viruses. Adults have created immunity to the ones they have suffered from. Therefore there are not lots of cold viruses remaining for parents to catch. That is why parents only acquire a few colds each year and kids succumb to a dozen runny noses annually.

HPV virus is similar in that human papilloma virus is simply one more viral infection. Therefore you will most likely create immunity to HPV virus. Nevertheless, human papilloma virus is more adept at evading your immune system compared to the rhinitis infections. Moreover you need to work harder to develop immunity to HPV virus.

Assuming someone does not do anything it could require a couple of years to develop resistance to HPV. If an individual follows the author's suggestions, it takes just a couple of months to establish immunity to HPV. The longer somebody is infected with human papilloma virus, the more likely it might trigger https://www.washingtonpost.com/newssearch/?query=HPV Natural Cures cervical damage. Therefore it is preferred to develop immunity so as to remove HPV when possible.

Someone may strengthen the immune system and therefore usually develop resistance to an HPV virus in only just a couple of months, sooner than it might begin any significant cervical injury. (Short Review of Book)

The majority of persons get puzzled and assume they have actually not developed immunity to HPV virus merely due to the fact that they become infected once again by another strain of the over 100 HPV infections. But one might stay clear of additional exposure and also new human papilloma virus infections.

This amazing publication sheds light on HPV problems, the most typical sexually-transmitted infections in the United States, impacting over 20 million men and women. HPV creates cervical dysplasia, cervical cancer cells, genital verrucas, plantar blemishes, losing unborn babies, infertility and penile cancer.

It does not matter just how this information entered your hands. Just what matters is just how you use such info as hundreds of others who have become immune to human papilloma virus.

The insightful expositor explains exactly how she naturally turned around the signs of https://hpv-natural-cures.com/p/HP1/Abnormal-Pap-HPV-Positive-Colposcopy.php human papilloma virus and also entirely healed her very own body of the HPV virus problem by enhancing her body's immune response.

Just what in the world is HPV virus? The writer recalls asking herself this inquiry when she got the medical diagnosis back from her gynecologist. She was devastated, puzzled as well as horrified. The author had lots of questions yet she did not enjoy the answers she was obtaining. HPV, a STD issue that might cause cervical cancer, is much more common than what most people assume. The author composed this book https://hpv-natural-cures.com/p/HP1/Abnormal-Pap-HPV-Colposcopy.php in order to help other people eliminate HPV virus.

One could enhance immunity and consequently usually establish immunity to an HPV infection in literally just a few months, prior to the time that it can begin any type of significant cervical injury. (Sneak Peak Book Review)

Below is the deal, this writing is about healing human papilloma virus, but it is not just concerning HPV virus. It has to do with living the most effective life we might live. It has to do with identifying HPV virus as an amazing opportunity to take responsibility for our own health and wellness. When observed in this way, one can be happy for HPV. Yes, thankful! And keeping that gratefulness and also every little thing else shared in this writing, someone can, and one will certainly, heal the body! She recognizes this works since it benefited her - it transformed her life and her wellness.

Look at what some readers are stating regarding this encouraging book: "A number of the girls said they learned that their doctors had been suggesting this magic component for several years with terrific success for their people with HPV as well as cervical dysplasia. And this enabled them to stay clear of LEEP treatments as well as freezing of the cervix similar to what you discussed in your book!"

"I purchased this publication in hopes of obtaining more explanation regarding this virus. I genuinely enjoyed reviewing the tale of the writer as well as I did not really feel so all alone now."

You can enhance the body's immune system and generally create resistance to an HPV virus in literally as short of time as a few months, prior to the time that it could produce any kind of serious cervical injury. (Selected Chapters of Book)

"I am so happy I stumbled across your publication since it really aided me to start reframing my ideas about myself and this condition, and also I am most likely to keep it close to me as I begin this journey of healing myself. Thanks so much for your positive energy and for sharing this fantastic recommendation with me!"

"This easy to read publication offers valid hope to females detected with HPV. I am so thankful I read it numerous months ago, due to the fact that I appreciated her frankness as well as agree completely that human papilloma virus is a virus, not a moral judgment. Latest medical examinations show my severe dysplasia has actually disappeared."

"As a professional psycho therapist and also yoga instructor, I can attest to the extraordinary power of the mind-body connection. Thank You For HPV not only attends to the healing power of your mind, it additionally gives you certain tools on ways to lower your anxiety level as well as live with more wellness, peace and also pleasure. (See Book Sneak Preview)"

You could reinforce the body's immune system and therefore typically establish immunity to an HPV infection in only as short of time as a few months, sooner than it could originate any type of momentous damage. (Book Review)

Maybe have you previously had a common cold? Likely did you eliminate the problem? Of course you survived it! You won't treat a cold directly, but your immune system typically establishes immunity to a certain cold infection within a few days. That is called being healed by your very own immunity!

And of course you will eventually acquire a different cold, since there remain more than 300 various runny nose infections. But you will unlikely acquire the same runny nose virus that you had previously due to the fact that you have developed resistance to it.

Grownups have currently had a lot of the cold infections. Adults have actually acquired resistance to the ones they have actually had. Therefore there are not lots of runny nose infections remaining for adults to acquire. That is why grownups only get infected with a few colds per year whereas children get a dozen runny noses per year.

Human papilloma virus is the same because HPV virus is just one more infection. And you will quite simply establish immunity to HPV virus. Nonetheless, human papilloma virus is much better at evading your body's immune system than are the cold viruses. Therefore you need to work a little harder to develop immunity to HPV virus.

https://keck.usc.edu/

Assuming one does nothing it could take a couple of years to develop resistance to human papilloma virus. If an individual takes the author's suggestions, it requires only a few months to create immunity to HPV. The longer somebody is infected with HPV, the more likely it could cause damage. So it is ideal to generate immunity and get rid of HPV when feasible.

You could strengthen immunity and typically establish resistance to an HPV infection in literally as short of time as a couple of months, before it might establish any type of serious injury. (Selected Chapters of Book)

Many individuals get confused and believe they have actually not established immunity to human papilloma virus just due to the fact that they get infected once again by another type of the more than 100 HPV infections. But one could stay clear of additional direct exposure and also additional HPV virus problems.

Clearly this book sheds light on human papilloma virus issues, one of the most common STD infections in the United States, infecting over 20 million men and women. HPV virus creates cervical dysplasia, cervical cancer, genital protuberances, plantar blemishes, miscarriages, inability to conceive and penile cancer cells.

No matter exactly how this book entered into your possession. Exactly what is of concern is exactly how you make use of such info as hundreds of others that have generated immunity to HPV.

The book's expositor shares exactly how she normally reversed the symptoms of HPV virus and completely healed her own body of the human papilloma virus issue by enhancing her immunity.

[devingjiv481-blog]

10 Undeniable Reasons People Hate Quick Dinner Ideas For Family Of 5

A person can enhance immunity and typically develop immunity to an HPV virus in only a matter of a few months, sooner than it could cause any severe infection. (Sneak Peak Book Review)

Probably have you heretofore had a cold virus? Possibly did you recover from it? Of course you did! You won't heal a common cold itself, however your body typically establishes resistance to any cold virus within several days. We call that being cured by your own immunity!

And of course you will possibly get one more runny nose virus, due to the fact that there are more than several hundred various runny nose viruses. Yet you will unlikely get the same runny nose virus that you had before since you have actually developed immunity to that particular cold virus.

Grownups have actually in the past had a great deal of the runny nose infections. Grownups have actually developed resistance to the colds they have suffered from. So there are not quite as many runny nose infections around for adults to become infected with. That is why adults just acquire a couple of colds each year and youngsters usually get 10-12 colds per year.

Human papilloma virus is similar in that human papilloma virus is just another virus. And you will most likely create immunity to HPV. Nonetheless, HPV is better at concealing from your body's immune system compared to the common cold infections. So you have to persist harder to develop immunity to HPV virus.

Assuming one does nothing it can require a few years to establish resistance to human papilloma virus. If a person follows the writer's guidance, it takes only a few months to develop immunity to human papilloma virus. The longer one has HPV, the longer it might create damage. So it is ideal to establish immunity and get rid of HPV virus as soon as reasonable.

An individual could reinforce immunity and therefore usually develop immunity to an HPV virus in only a matter of a couple of months, before it might begin any type of significant damage. (See Book Sneak Preview)

Most individuals get perplexed and assume they have not generated immunity to HPV virus just since they get contaminated once again by a different type of the over 100 HPV viruses. But one can avoid additional exposure as well as additional HPV virus problems.

This amazing book clarifies HPV issues, the most typical sexually-transmitted infections in the United States, impacting over 20 million males and females. HPV virus causes cervical dysplasia, cervical cancer, genital excrescences, plantar protuberances, losing unborn babies, inability to conceive and penile cancer cells.

It does not matter how this publication got into your hands. Just what matters is exactly how you use such info as countless others that have removed HPV.

The insightful author shares how she naturally reversed the signs and symptoms of human papilloma virus as well as entirely recovered her own body of the HPV virus problem by enhancing her immunity.

Just what the heck is HPV? The author kept asking herself this inquiry when she got the findings back from her gynecologist. The author was ruined, puzzled and also horrified. The writer had lots of questions however she really did not like the solutions she was getting. HPV, a STD infection that may lead to cervical cancer, is a lot more usual compared to what most usually think. The author wrote this book to assist others remove HPV virus.

A person can strengthen immunity and typically create immunity to an HPV infection in literally just a couple of months, sooner than it can trigger any compelling damage. (Book Review)

Right here is the bottom line, this publication is about healing HPV virus, but it is not only about HPV virus. It is about living the best life we could live. It has to do with recognizing HPV as an amazing possibility to take obligation for our own health. When seen from this perspective, an individual could be grateful for human papilloma virus. Yes, grateful! And with that appreciation and everything else discussed in this writing, one can, and someone will, heal the body! The writer recognizes this works due to the fact that it helped her - it changed her life and also her health and wellness.

Guess what some people are saying regarding this encouraging book: "A number of the girls stated they found out that their medical professionals had been recommending this magic ingredient for years with fantastic success for their people with HPV and also cervical dysplasia. And also this allowed them to prevent LEEP procedures and also cryotherapy for the cervix much like you clarified in your book!"

"Very much recommend reading this book! So happy I located this, as there is an overload of blended information on the HPV virus online. You could go crazy searching for the solutions."

One can strengthen the immune system and normally develop immunity to an HPV infection in literally as short of time as a few months, prior to the time that it could establish any type of severe cervical damage. (Selected Chapters of Book)

"It is so true that your book might aid any kind of female, including my friend with breast cancer cells."

"This easy-read publication offers valid encouragement to ladies identified with human papilloma virus. I am so happy I reviewed it several months earlier, since I valued her frankness and concur completely that HPV is an infection, not an ethical judgment. Most current medical examinations show my severe dysplasia has actually disappeared."

"As a scientific psycho therapist and yoga exercise educator, I can attest http://griffinwhxp123.fotosdefrases.com/from-around-the-web-20-awesome-photos-of-round-dining-room-table-and-chairs to the extraordinary power of the mind-body link. Thank You For HPV not only addresses the recovery power of your mind, it additionally gives you specific tools on how you can reduce your tension level and also deal with more health, tranquility and also happiness. (Short Review of Book)"

An individual can strengthen the immune system and consequently quite simply create immunity to an HPV virus in basically a matter of a few months, before it might set up any kind of momentous injury. (Book Review)

Probably have you previously suffered through a cold? Maybe did you heal from it? Obviously you did! You cannot treat a runny nose directly, nevertheless your immune system normally establishes immunity to any cold infection within a few days. We call that being cured by your own immune system!

And of course you will eventually succumb to a different runny nose virus, since there exist more than several hundred various runny nose infections. However you will certainly never ever acquire the exact same runny nose infection that you had in the past because you have developed immunity to that particular cold virus.

Parents have actually previously had a lot of the cold infections. Parents have actually created resistance to Round Glass Dining Room Table And Chairs the colds they have had. Therefore there are not numerous cold infections existing for grownups to acquire. That is why parents only acquire a few runny noses each year and children get 10-12 runny noses per year.

HPV virus is the same since HPV is simply another viral infection. Therefore you will normally create resistance to HPV virus. Nevertheless, HPV virus is much better at concealing from your immunity than are the common cold infections. So you must persist a little harder to acquire immunity to human papilloma virus.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/

Assuming an individual does not do anything it might require a few years to generate immunity to HPV. If one follows the writer's suggestions, it takes just a few months to establish immunity to HPV virus. The longer somebody is infected with human papilloma virus, the more likely it can trigger cervical damage. Therefore it is best to create immunity so as to remove HPV virus as soon as reasonable.

Someone may strengthen the immune system and consequently normally develop resistance to an HPV virus in basically a matter of a couple of months, sooner than it could make any type of major cervical injury. (Short Review of Book)

Most people become confused and think they have actually not created immunity to HPV merely due to the fact that they get contaminated again by a different strain of the over 100 HPV viruses. But somebody may stay clear of additional exposure as well as future HPV infections.

Clearly this publication sheds light on HPV infections, the most usual STD infections in the United States, affecting over 20 million men and women. HPV virus creates cervical dysplasia, cervical cancer cells, genital excrescences, plantar blemishes, miscarriages, inability to conceive and also penile cancer cells.

It matters not exactly how this publication got into your hands. What matters is how you utilize such information as thousands of others that have actually generated immunity to HPV.

The book's writer communicates exactly how she normally reversed the signs and symptoms of human papilloma virus and also absolutely recovered her very own body of the HPV issue by enhancing the immunity.

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Whats HPV Mean

You may strengthen the body's immune system and consequently usually establish resistance to an HPV infection in basically just a few months, before it might trigger any compelling cervical injury. (See Book Sneak Preview)

Perhaps have you a while ago been down with a common cold virus? Conceivably did you do away with the infection? Of course you recovered! You can not cure an acute rhinitis directly, but your system typically establishes resistance to a certain cold infection within a couple of weeks. That is called being healed by your own immune system!

And definitely you will possibly cave in to one more cold virus, because there are more than 300 various cold infections. But you will certainly never get the same cold infection that you had previously due to the fact that you have created immunity to that cold virus.

Parents have currently had a great deal of the runny nose viruses. Parents have established immunity to the ones they have actually suffered from. So there are not quite as many cold infections existing for grownups to become infected with. That is why grownups only get a couple of colds annually whereas youngsters acquire a dozen colds annually.

Human papilloma virus is comparable since HPV is simply an additional viral infection. Therefore you can most likely create immunity to HPV virus. Nonetheless, HPV virus is better at evading your body's immune system compared to the rhinitis viruses. Therefore you have to try a little harder to develop immunity to HPV.

If an individual does nothing it might take a few years to establish immunity to human papilloma virus. If somebody takes the author's advice, it requires just a couple of months to create resistance to HPV virus. The longer a person has HPV, the longer it could create cervical damage. Therefore it is ideal to develop immunity so as to get rid of human papilloma virus as soon as feasible.

One can reinforce immunity and quite simply create resistance to an HPV virus in literally a matter of a few months, sooner than it could set up any type of serious cervical damage. (Selected Chapters of Book)

Some persons get perplexed because they assume they have not established immunity to human papilloma virus simply because they become infected once again by another type of the more than 100 HPV infections. But somebody may avoid additional direct exposure as well as future HPV virus infections.

Clearly this publication sheds light on HPV infections, one of the most usual STD infections in the United States, affecting over 20 million men and women. Human papilloma virus creates cervical dysplasia, cervical cancer cells, genital growths, plantar warts, losing unborn babies, the inability to conceive and also penile cancer.

No matter just how this material entered into your possession. What is of concern is exactly how you use such information just like thousands of others who have actually removed HPV.

The insightful author shares exactly how she simply reversed the signs and symptoms of human papilloma virus and also completely recovered her own body of the HPV problem by reinforcing her body's immune response.

Just what in the world is human papilloma virus? She remembers asking this inquiry when she got the diagnosis back from her medical doctor. The writer was down and out, confused as well as horrified. The author had lots of concerns yet she really did not enjoy the responses she was receiving. Human papilloma virus, a sexually-transmitted infection that might lead to cervical cancer cells, is much more usual than what we usually think. The author created this writing in order to help others get rid of HPV virus.

An individual may strengthen the body's immune system and consequently generally create resistance to an HPV infection in only just a couple of months, sooner than it can establish any important cervical https://hpv-cures-naturally.com/p/HP5/What-Treatment-For-HPV.php damage. (Selected Chapters of Book)

Here is the bottom line, this publication has to do with recovery from HPV, however it is not just concerning HPV. It is about living the most effective life we might live. It has to do with recognizing HPV as a remarkable chance to take obligation for our own health. When viewed from this perspective, a person could be happy for HPV. Yes, thankful! And also keeping that appreciation as well as every little thing else discussed in this writing, an individual could, and somebody will, recover the body! The author understands this is successful due to the fact that it benefited her - it altered her life and also her health.

Look at what some people are saying regarding this motivating book: "Most of the girls claimed they learned that their physicians had actually been suggesting this magic ingredient for several years with excellent success for their people with HPV and also cervical dysplasia. And also this allowed them to stay clear of LEEP treatments as well as freezing of the cervix just like you discussed in your publication!"

"Thanks for once more for putting in the time to share all your research, and also way of living adjustment for removing human papilloma virus. Your positive overview altered my mindset towards myself, and also the virus."

Somebody may reinforce the immune system and generally develop resistance to an HPV infection in basically a matter of a couple of months, prior to the time that it can produce any type of serious injury. (Book Review)

"It is so real that your publication might help any type of lady, including my friend with breast cancer cells."

"This easy to read publication gives valid hope to females detected with human papilloma virus. I am so thankful I read it numerous months ago, because I valued her frankness and also agree totally that human papilloma virus is a virus, not an ethical judgment. Most current clinical tests reveal my severe dysplasia has actually disappeared."

"She has a realistic and personalized composing style that is genuine, insightful, as well as motivational. I highly suggest this publication if you are discovering means to heal yourself in body, mind as well as spirit. (Short Review of Book)"

Someone may reinforce the immune system and consequently normally create resistance to an HPV virus in basically just a couple of months, sooner than it can trigger any important cervical damage. (Selected Chapters of Book)

Perchance have you ever before suffered through a cold? Perchance did you recover from the infection? Obviously you recovered! You will not heal a runny nose directly, but your immune system usually develops immunity to any cold infection within a few days. That is called healed by your very own immunity!

And sure you will possibly get infected by another cold, because there are more than several hundred various runny nose viruses. But you will never ever get the same runny nose infection that you had previously because you have actually created immunity to it.

Adults have already had a great deal of the rhinitis viruses. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/?search=HPV Cures Naturally Adults have acquired resistance to the colds they have actually suffered from. Therefore there are not lots of runny nose viruses existing for grownups to acquire. That is why parents just get infected with a few colds each year and youngsters succumb to a dozen colds annually.

Human papilloma virus is similar in that HPV is just an additional infection. And you will simply develop resistance to human papilloma virus. Nonetheless, HPV virus is much better at hiding from your immunity than are the cold viruses. Therefore you should work harder to acquire resistance to HPV virus.

Assuming somebody does not do anything it might require a couple of years to generate resistance to HPV. If one follows the author's advice, it takes just a few months to generate immunity to HPV. The longer someone has HPV, the more likely it can cause cervical damage. So it is best https://hpv-cures-naturally.com/p/HP5/What-To-Take-For-HPV.php to generate immunity so as to eliminate HPV as soon as possible.

A person can enhance immunity and consequently generally develop resistance to an HPV infection in only as short of time as a couple of months, before it could begin any compelling damage. (See Book Sneak Preview)

Most individuals get confused and think they have actually not established resistance to human papilloma virus merely because they get infected once more by another strain of the over 100 HPV infections. Yet somebody might avoid future direct exposure as well as future HPV virus problems.

This writing clarifies HPV virus infections, one of the most usual STD infections in the US, infecting over 20 million men and women. Human papilloma virus causes cervical dysplasia, cervical cancer, genital growths, plantar growths, miscarriages, the inability to conceive as well as penile cancer cells.

No matter exactly how this material got into your possession. Exactly what is of concern is exactly how you utilize such info as countless others who have become immune to HPV virus.

The insightful writer communicates just how she naturally eliminated the symptoms of HPV virus and totally healed her very own body of the HPV problem by strengthening her resistance.