#<- preemptive bc i’m bitter abt it
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so fucking annoying having a “common” disorder sometimes i’m sick of being fucking dismissed
#marzivents#<- preemptive bc i’m bitter abt it#i made a joke abt trying to get every accomodation for my anxiety that i can#and my own mother. who HAS THE SAME FUCKING ILLNESS. compared me to fucking eric cartman????#for making a silly about my mental illness? and saying ‘i have anxiety so u need to be nice to me’ for a LAUGH????#like 1- i’m not fucking lying when i say i need extra help for my anxiety shit#and 2- do not compare me to a fucking south park character because he faked an anxiety disorder for a couple of episodes#like fuck you. what the fuck is wrong with you#‘half the world has anxiety marley’ 1- not true like statistically 2- while anxiety is relatively common that doesn’t mean i don’t need#extra help because of it???? hello????? what the shit#and EVERY time i try to say something about how it makes me feel she pulls the experience card and patronizes me!!!#i get it i’m 18 i don’t know everything. but i fucking know myself!!!#sometimes i just feel like my family thinks i’m looking for excuses to feel bad. which is so FRUSTRATING#because EVERY DAY of my life i am trying to improve and make my mindset healthier and work hard to be the best happiest me i can be#it’s just that sometimes doing my best is feeding myself and brushing my teeth#it bugs me so much coming from her because i know she has it too#like. i know you had to spend the first 30 years of your life denying your mental health to get out of hell#but i don’t. your whole goal in life was to make sure that your kids didn’t have to do that to succeed#so when i tell you i’m struggling or dare to crack a fucking joke about it once in awhile#why is it that suddenly i’m the bad guy or trying to make myself a victim#can i just need fucking help??? in peace??? does it have to be a whole fucking thing#like sorry do i not deserve it? am i not sick enough? god#and this is all IGNORING the fact that it is highly likely i have something else too#i’ve had depressive episodes since middle school. i have many adhd symptoms#fuck man! maybe ur kid who’s been an expert at masking since fucking elementary school is going through a bit more than they look to be!#almost like it’s a subconscious impulse for them to look better than they feel!#and i’m not even doing that bad right now!#i’m super burnt out but i’m coping really well! i’m getting shit done i’m working hard i’m still taking care of myself!!#i’ve managed to still laugh and love and feel joy despite despite despite#and all i want is some goddamn recognition once in a while. i am so SICK of being overlooked. fuck
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me tmrw during dilucs event when he inevitably makes an offhandedly vague comment that’s OBVIOUSLY meant to be a sly dig towards kaeya where he references kaeyas supposed ‘traitor/liar/duplicitous nature’ like the little bitch that he is
#x#i should be sleeping but i just thought abt this and had to let myself stew in my own preemptive bitterness#i’m making myself mad just thinking abt it LMAOOOO ok imma try sleep. call me when i’m right n this happens bc this guy sucks so much ass#gi posting
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