#'discomfort' my ass
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I saw a post telling white people to keep watching and seeing videos and photos of Palestine and to feel the 'discomfort' it makes them feel and it just filled me with rage.
Is this what Palestinian death is to you? Discomfort? An inconvenience? All that pain and suffering and agony and death only makes you feel 'discomfort'? And you dare try to frame it as support? Activism?
White people make me sick
#at first i couldn't tell why it made me angry#but then i realized#how can you be so far up into your white privilege#that mere 'discomfort' makes you think you're a supporter?#how do you not see these people being MURDERED#and not see yourself in them?#are they not human like you?#or do you see them as animals?#fuck you'd show more empathy to animals#'discomfort' my ass#anyways as always#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#free palestine#palestine
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Look what we've become.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#Initially I wanted to do a 'Mutiny' quote to follow the 'Luck runs out' quote.#But the musical earworms demanded a different blood to be drawn. And I think it works just as well.#Alright. It's time to confess something. I really struggled with this comic. I didn't want to draw it. Then I didn't want to upload it.#Because I knew I would be here in the tags writing and backspacing for hours trying to articulate my thoughts.#I'm going to talk about death and grief in the tags today so this is your WARNING to look away if you aren't in a headspace for it.#Sometimes in media there are scenes and characters which land on topics so specific to your wounds that it reopens them all over again.#Because here's the truth. When you've known someone like this for nearly your whole life...it doesn't matter how bad the fight is.#You always think 'We'll always have time. One day this dust will settle and we'll rebuild the bridge.'#And then the fucker dies!!! He dies and suddenly there will never ever be time to repair the rift.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. And part of you did just a bit. But love and hate aren't mutually exclusive.#He's fucking dead and you are left with so many broken and unfinished pieces between the two of you.#Jiang Cheng loses Wei Wuxian thinking that WWX thought they hated each other.#He's a younger brother who will one day be older than the person he lost.#Who has no one else in the world who understands those feelings of love and hate and grief.#I can't be normal about this character. I don't think he even heals me. Zero catharsis to be gained here.#I just look at his sour grape ass and think 'shit that's a little too close to home.' JC is my discomfort character.#I'm probably going to regret being this vulnerable in the tags in like. An hour. So. sorry if you see this once and never again.#EDIT: Yeah sorry this took 4 hours to muster the courage to post. Surprise update!#EDIT 2: You guys were being too nice to me on my sad comic to point out the spelling error. I have fixed it now B'*)
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formalwear (again)
#this is a redraw if.. Any of you remember ..#idek how long ago i made the original so. This was either a very fast or very slow progression#Anyway. bennett hyping up his lame ass boyfriend (gender neutral) as he tries not to sob from the discomfort of this lame ass fit#razor my autistic son. I will save you#genshin impact#bennett genshin impact#razor genshin impact#rannett#benzor#my art
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i’ve always found it peculiar how during meeting the chargers cutscene the game just assumes your character automatically understands what krem is talking about when he mentions binding (though, granted, it’s all very unsubtle). like, this is a roleplaying game. what if i want to play a character who just doesn’t get it
#dragon age#cremisius aclassi#inquisitor trevelyan#at least give me an in game explanation of why the inquisitor would Know this right away#it's not like transgenderism is a widely explored topic in da lore. the most you can find about it in inquisition specifically excluding#krem and seras countless transmisogynistic lines is one codex that mentions that some previous divine mightve been a trans woman#and the way it's written sucks ass. the infamous sex in thedas codex also mentions nothing on the topic of transness. so like#whats up with that#art stuff#before anyone says anything i fully realize how i look critiquing a bioware game that came out in 2014 on its faulty queer representation#please trust me i know. im just thinking out loud#ALSO. in case it isnt obvious. parsley transed they gender. the joke is that theyre a nonbinary femme now#its hard for me to show it through art because it would involve misgendering them but they dont actually start going by they/them pronouns#until after halamshiral. so like technically if i made them refer to themselves as he/him at any point before that it would be canonical but#its not like my art is chronological by any means and cannot be taken out of context by virtue of it existing as an individual post online#if someone were to reblog an art of them saying hi im a dude theyd go cool! hashtag male inquisitor. or something#the tragic case of sacrificing narrative in order to not get second hand discomfort at seeing parsley misgendered#ANYWAY..........
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I fucked my back up a couple months ago and need physical therapy for it BUT almost all the physical therapy exercises are derived from yoga, and I can’t do yoga because it gives me insane brain worms about cultural appropriation. And I can’t draw a Bart comic making fun of myself it because if I depict myself pelvic trusting I will be corrupting the innocent. So I just have to hope that ice and ibuprofen and patience will take care of it.
#if it were Worse I could probably ignore the brain worms but it’s really not too bad#for the last couple weeks it’s faded from Pain™️ to mild discomfort and increased awareness of my ass bones
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I've liked and disliked Jack Crawford in many moments. But, this moment, right there, is when I absolutely hated him.
#my introvert ass cannot deal with a stranger this close#that was totally not cool#shudders in discomfort#jack crawford#will graham#hannibal
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sandra telling chris that she's pregnant and chris immediately getting worried cuz he knows she's had complicated feelings on the idea of motherhood before and the past few pregnancy scares she's had had made her anxious and need to lean on him, but this time she just smiles and tells him that it's time, she's ready and she actually wants this now, and he just laughs in relief and disbelief and hugs her and spins her around because now that he knows it's a joyous thing he's so happy for her, he's going to be an uncle now and her and max are going to be incredible parents and he loves them more than anything........
#(chris)sandrax kid thoughts part one. i'm so soft about them#i focus a lot on sandra comforting chris a lot cuz he's my blorbo but please know that it's reciprocal.......he comforts her too...........#had this fic idea where she goes to his ass after her first abortion despite knowing his conservative upbringing because despite that he's#the only one she wants to hold and comfort her afterwards while her hormones are all screwy from the procedure.............#and she's terrified he's going to be a dick and reject her for it but despite his discomfort he does love her and tries his best to make he#feel better afterwards.........#man one day that'll be a fic if i ever buckle down and write it RIP#i dunno i just think it's sweet. despite all his faults chris wants her to be happy when she gets pregnant#cuz he knows damn well his mother wasn't and that hurt both of them#but even outside of his own mommy issues he wants sandra to be happy because he loves her ARGH.........#okay tag essay again i'mmm shutting it down now lol#the goes wrong show#chris bean#sandra wilkinson#chrissandra#pregnancy tw#abortion tw#only in the tags but still#marshy speaks
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warning, tmi
fr whenever this stupid connective tissue/blood vessel expansion issue crops up again my suicidal thoughts intensify by 400%
like im doing EVERYTHING I CAN to prevent this issue. got a whole double sided info sheet from the specialist I saw when it first happened in 2018, i follow the food and water recommendations, the exercise recommendations, even the fucking recommendations on how to shit!!!, BUT STILL
IT KEEPS HAPPENING AT RANDOM and always at the worst possible times tbh and every time it happens it gets worse because the area is already weakened from the previous times...
i hate it hate it hate it hate it.............
can I please have a different body? please?
#sorry i just. hate my body for this shit#and also mostly for the fact it's a stupid as hell ASS ISSUE#and you can't really talk about it in polite society and can't call off work for it#because all you can do is inhale painkillers put ointment on the swollen areas and wait for it to go away#WHICH CAN TAKE MONTHS 👍👍👍 which means months of pain and discomfort#then an indeterminate amount of time where it's kinda fine again. but the ever looming threat of it coming back 👍#god i hate this fucking body so much.....
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⚠️GETTING AUTISTIC ALERT⚠️
one of my absolute favorite things abt mo4 is understanding just how terrible a lot of the main cast is.. i've changed fukurou and morikaze to be more normal in my mind for my own comfort (as someone still recovering from trauma), but am still heavily critical of their characters as i am with every other main numa!! i love discussing the intricacies of the mo4 cast without defending any of their actions, and i really dislike when people mischaracterize them and refuse to accept canon for what it is.. no guys bachikin was not a girlboss girlqueen she was a war criminal & an awful person & part of her character is the fact that she is trying to fix what she did!! holding her accountable is part of the story im afraid, you cant fake-feminism your way out of this one💔 when you remove the bad parts of a character meant to be a bad person u are left with a very bland & uninteresting character. learn to love a character despite the shit that makes them a bad person while still holding them accountable it. i love talking about the mo4 characters who wants to let me ramble about the mo4 characters to them
#ekurambles#its 4 am and i just woke up and immediately felt the autism within me flare up i NEED to talk about the mo4 casts horrible actions in detai#i love discussing how horrible some characters really are!!! i love enjoying them regardless!!! please#theres not a single numa from the main cast that i actually hate (except canonical fukurou and morikaze)#(but that is genuinely just for my own comfort & i like the discomfort when i talk about them in detail!!!)#(i think its a good thing when a character can make you feel inherently disgusted.. sign of good writing)#ok i need 2 get my ass to bed now bro OOPS!#who wants to let me yap in their ear for the next 5 years when i wake up#or who wants to tell me what the fuck otsukin and koritora even did in the main story again ive replayed the game multiple times now btw#i forget literally every time even though they were like there specifically to progress the story#fym otsukin was chilling with zakuro and kashikin..?that was just the two of them on a beautiful yuri date#wtf did i just say
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#oh wow...#i just had an oh shit fuck moment#wow#i usually complain about the one therapist i had in my entire life and how she wouldn't just listen to what i was saying#if it didn't fit her textbook definition of whatever she was thinking at the time#and how i talked to her about my anxiety and how that made me feel and she would only focus on how i acted#so the example i gave her was the one time i went into a shop to buy something by myself#because my mom didn't want to go in for me and arguing with my mom in front of the shop in public and then inevitably have to#go in myself either way was way worse to me#because of the embarrassement of arguing in public. the fact that my mom was gonna spend the entire walk home telling me how i have to#''just suck it up and learn and just overcome my anxiety because i don't have a problem'' or whatever#and then having to go into the shop where the lady had been watching me from inside the entire time how i clearly didn't want to go in#and possibly be even more awkward with teary eyes because of the anxiety and awkwardness i already bring to the table any day...#all of those things that were going inside my head were trumped by the fact that i did go in and did buy what i needed#although my heart was coming out of my chest the entire time... all that didn't matter to my therapist because in her words:#''if you had anxiety. you simply wouldn't have gone in''#which is ridiculous#but anyways... i just had an epiphany... that was masking wasn't it?#forcing myself to do something that brings me major discomfort to make my mother and the shop lady not judge me?#pretend i'm a normal human being just doing normal things instead of someone who's about to have a heart attack buying embroidery thread?#panicking the entire time because i wasn't prepeared and hadn't scripted the entire transaction in my head?#yet still going in and putting on my ''normal person'' mask to try to seem like i wasn't just dying seconds ago (and still was)?#isn't that literally what masking is?!#and the ''autism specialist'' ass therapist was like ''if you did it then you don't have a problem''#when i'm literally telling her how much of a problem it actually WAS?!#you know what's the best part about all this#that when i told my mom after i left that therapist that she didn't listen to me because [insert everything above]#my mom's response was ''well sometimes therapist will say things that you don't want to hear but you have to accept them''....#same woman who's always saying how much she hates therapists because they ''will say whatever and pretend they know shit''#ok so it's only The Truth when I tell you it isn't...
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TWO STEPS AWAY FROM LEGALLY CHANGING MY NAME!!! gonna receive an approval within an hour ig and then have to make a new id with my actual name HAPPÆ HAPPÆ!!!
#at last official services aren't gonna deadname me#AND I CAN FIND A JOBB WITH NO DISCOMFORT#misgendering is a huge problem but for me deadnaming makes me want to crush my head against the wall#I can cope with misgendering#that's what I do#but deadnaming triggers a HUGE ARGESSIVE ASS SPIRAL#smells.like.a.freakshow
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#Watching ‘egg discourse’ go around frustrates me. Not even fully certain what the current round is about but. Augh.#Especially seeing a lot of transmascs get worked up about it#Like. 1. Reacting so violently and negatively to what is in reality a harmless comment by a trans woman is being#transmisogynistic#2. You get on trans women’s asses for ‘assuming’ genders but you are ALSO assuming someone’s gender. You are assuming they’re a cis man.#3. As one of my mutuals said very well: ‘misgendering’ a cis person does not carry the violent connotations of misgendering a trans person#And 4 and this one is transmasc specific: If you are reacting like this because a switch has flipped#in your brain and is saying ‘this is a sign that no matter what I do I can be seen as a Secret Girl’. Turn that switch back off.#Just because you feel uncomfortable or unsafe doesn’t mean you are#Versus the trans women who are ACTUALLY unsafe right now because they’re being harassed. This is a You Problem.#And it’s also not what’s happening#You are not being misgendered! You are not in danger of being misgendered!#and you know what? One day another queer person may in fact mistake you for a trans woman! It is not that big of a deal.#This has happened to me! It was fine! It was honestly a compliment in some ways! It is easily clarified!#Calm the fuck down! You are not in danger! No one is in danger!#It is not such an awful thing to be mistaken for a trans woman#YOU need to work on that. It’s on YOU to interrogate your discomfort.
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i was in a zoom meeting (cameras off) with my team at work (about 15 people on the call) yesterday (tuesday)
meeting was informal (and included discussion of easter) and at the end my boss asked if anyone had anything fun going on this week
i decided to share that passover is wednesday night and that i’m excited for it
normally boss would ask follow-up questions (if i’d said i was doing an easter egg hunt there would definitely have been lively conversation)
instead boss sputtered for a bit and then said “happy..good for…i’m excited for you?” and everyone else stayed on mute. she ended the meeting almost immediately after.
honest to god you’d think these gentiles had heard me announce i’d be snacking on christian babies this weekend. and some of them might believe that! (they live in a very conservative area in wisconsin, i’m in minneapolis)
at least i got to make them uncomfortable for once instead of the other way around 😇
#yes i am job hunting#work adventures#i’ve gotten similar reactions to just mentioning my partner#i try to not let it get me down and instead draw power from their discomfort#at being reminded not everyone is like them#there are jewish dykes on your staff. live with it.#(yes i am worried this will somehow bite me in the ass but again: i am job hunting)#jumblr#i have one coworker in office who is hostile to me and she’d previously said that mentioning passover is ‘political’ but easter is neutral#her last day is friday. i am glad to see her leave.
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i'm not even particularly fond of magnus or anything but the way a subset of the fandom behaves towards fans of him/his shippers is deeply tiresome to see
#personal#to each their own and youre certainly allowed to feel discomfort towards anything about him#but the aggression towards other fans is so unnecessary imo#i also do not understand 'do not consume my content if you like x' type of mentalities but hey!#thats fandom nowadays#know you're welcome in my blog regardless of what you ship or like :)#as long as you tolerate my skwistok loving ass hahaha#i throughly despite fandom exclusionary spaces myself so 👍
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i am veering into Serious Mental Health Discussion but last is also why i can't stand those posts that are like "the only way to stop being depressed is to get off your ugly ass" like. first of all, on a personal level, i was rough with myself like that all of my childhood, which had no effect whatsoever, and when i finally started being radically gentle with myself & telling myself that struggling wasn't a moral failing but i deserved to feel better just for my own sake then i actually became able to take the steps i needed.
and secondly. my main point. if you go through a rough spot in your life, and do manage to dig yourself out with an uncomfortable amount of elbow grease, that's awesome, but how are you going to feel the next time you're in a bad place? i for one would be daunted & might stay in the hole longer if i thought brute forcing things was my only way out
#txt#like a personal example. im never gonna shut down someone Else saying that getting a change of clothes can spruce up your mental state.#& obviously regularly changing clothes is part of most ppls daily life#but like. i have dysphoria & sensory issues. those things tend to be at their worst when my mental health is at its worst in general.#if i go through the discomfort of getting a change of clothes when both those things r spiking and the clothes do make me feel better like#- 15ish minutes later. im not gonna forget how uncomfortable i was even if the 'get off your ass' crowd wasn't fully wrong.#it's lose-win when making accommodations for oneself is win-win.#and making accommodations for oneself takes *patience*#<- for reference i usually only change street clothes when i take a shower & was referring to times when showering would be too hard idk if#- that was clear lol
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yk I felt really bad about this whole thing at first but looking back I think maybe I dodged a bullet
#its not about me being mean anynore its actually about me repeatedly expressing discomfort and him not listening to me#and then me having to deal with 500 'im so sorry if i made you uncomfortable! im just the worst 😔' text messages#and like. i know i always said not to worry about it#but that doesnt mean keep doing it#yk#cause like id see him in school and hed hug me and shit which i fucking hated#and hed be like oh youre the best your so understanding ive never met anyone like you etc etc etc#and then the whole#'omg did me hugging you make you uncomfortable?? im so sorry omg!!'#post posting#yeah. realizing this is actually the only way i couldve gone about this#qnd the worst part is one of my best friends told me that a lot of her friends dont like him etc etc#and obviously i asked why cause a lot of people dont like me and im not gonna judge people based on random ass rumors#and she wouldnt tell me until i was already in to deep#like if she had just told me from the beginning i wouldnt be in this mess 😭#its all good though#im p sure he hates me but im genuinely fine with that
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