#'but we don't want to guilt trip you' well cool i still feel guilt tripped i haven't stopped feeling guilt tripped since i was fucking 14

[youjustwaitsunshine]

just had an unreasonably bitchy reaction, see yall in 20 minutes when im crying because i was unreasonably bitchy

[cutebat]

Yandere Batfam x Neglected, but Defiant Reader

The Other Half

Warning(s): Yandere themes (at the end), neglect, mentions of pills (but she doesn't actually take them), a lot of swearing, stealing, mentions of cheating and bribery, attempted guilt tripping, forcing to drop out, reader is just a millennial in the 2020s

(This chapter is basically the other part of the prologue, and I fixed some things. Most of this chapter just shows reader's personal life at school.)

~~~~~

How long has it been has you stopped being Batgirl?

Days... Weeks... Months... A year?

Honestly, you don't really care. It's more like you don't feel to care anymore.

After you threw out your costume in that dumpster, you just lost all hope of whatever you'll become.

You were walking down the hallway of the Wayne manor as you think about all of this.

If nobody really cared about what you did, then why bother keep going? I mean, your family didn't really give you a lot of praise.

You let out a heavy sigh as you enter the bathroom. When you locked the door, you couldn't help but stare at yourself in the mirror.

Your eyes were still kinda empty but a little bright at the same time. Your hair feels so smooth and soft. And your skin... it just looks so perfect. This makes you think to yourself...

Since when did you become so pretty?

After staring at yourself in the mirror, you were about to leave the bathroom before you gaze lands on something.

It was an orange pill bottle.

"SSRI..."

You mutter out as you read the label.

You opened the door to peak to see if anyone was in the hallway. Coast clear.

With that, you took the pill bottle and put it in your top since you didn't have any pockets.

~~~~~

The first week when you started eighth grade came by quickly.

You were just wandering down around the hallway alone as many students walked by you to either go to class or skip to go somewhere.

As you walked down the hallway, you spotted someone approaching you.

"Uh, hey."

The voice calls out to you as the person walks towards you.

It was a guy with slightly bushy blonde hair with brown eyes. He seems to be around your age.

You only blinked before you spoke up.

"Hi."

You responded blankly.

"Um, are you new here?"

He asks as he rubs the back of his head.

"I've been going here for two years."

You said as you just stood there, staring at this boring looking guy.

"Oh, cool... I just thought that since I've never seen you around here before. Anyway, do you know where your classes are?"

He asks which makes you tilt your head to the side a bit.

"Kinda. I've seen all of the classes here around this building, so I think I'm going to be fine."

You said as you place your hand on your hip.

"Okay, that's cool. I'm Peter, by the way. What's your name?"

The guy whose name is Peter introduces himself with a small smile.

You were silent for a bit, surprised that someone actually spoke to you. You decided to... be nice, I guess.

"(name)."

You simply replied with your hand still on your hip.

"Aw, cool. It was nice meeting you (name). Hey, if you want, maybe we can hang out. You know, as friends? Maybe more...?"

Peter said as if he had high hope.

You just blinked before you replied.

"I literally just met you."

"Well... yeah, but-"

The guy tries to explain himself before you caught him off again.

"Well, I'm going to find my class now. See ya."

You said before you turned and walked away.

Was that guy really trying to hit on you?

~~~~~

You enter the classroom that seems to look like any other classroom.

"Ah, we have our first tardy student. Welcome to English 2. My name is Ms. Tucker, what is yours?"

The teacher said as she turned to you.

You stayed by the doorway for a moment, looking unfazed.

"Um... Beyoncé?"

You replied which made the students in the class laugh.

"Settle down! I have to look it up in the attendance sheet, then..."

Your teacher said with a sigh before she pointed at an empty desk, indicating that your new seat was.

As you sat down, Ms. Tucker speaks up again.

"Alright then, now I see that everyone's present, I want to start off with some first day reading. Basically, like silent reading time."

She said before a girl raised her hand.

"Can we read manga?"

She asks, which makes the teacher raise her eyebrow.

"Is that like... a comic book?"

"Does it even matter?"

"Well, I don't think they're fitting for your age."

"You literally just said to 'read a book'. Manga is technically a book."

"I'm not sure if that's school appropriate."

"I just saw a manga section in the school library earlier, how the fuck is that not school appropriate?"

"Not getting to the point here. I'm just saying to read something more like you kids would like."

"And what's that?"

"How about... The Catcher in the Rye? Written by J.D. Salinger?"

Everyone fell silent before you spoke up.

"You're such a fucking white mom, it's not even funny."

This made everyone in the class burst out laughing.

"Excuse me, young lady?"

"You heard me, bitch."

The students laughed even more.

"Go to the headmaster's office!"

Ms. Tucker yells as she points to the door.

~~~~~

"You're on thin ice on the first day, (name)."

The headmaster said with her hands on her hips.

"It's not my fault that Ms. Tucker is such a bitch and also, there was this other girl who interrupted her."

You said as you were seated in front of her.

"Don't shift this onto someone else, (name). We're talking about you right now."

"So, what am I supposed to do? Accidentally call my teacher a fucking white mom?"

"You're supposed to follow the school rules and not insult your teachers. You should've known this."

"I do."

"Then, why did you do it anyway?"

You purse your lips before you respond.

"Because it's funny."

Your response made your headmaster sigh to calm herself down.

"Well... if this doesn't work out for you, we can always transfer you in an alternative educational system instead."

She suggests using a calm, patient expression on her face.

"I swear to god if you put me in one of those schools that have nothing but those weird, delusional people who believe in 'those' kinds of inclusivity topics, I will actually bully the fuck out of all of them."

You told her with a slightly irritated expression on your face.

"I wasn't implying to those schools, (name). We have other educational systems for students who don't seem to get along."

Your headmaster said which made you raise your eyebrow.

"Really now?"

"I wouldn't try to get into them if I were you. Please believe me when I tell you that the school you're in right now is actually a good thing."

She explains to you which made you seem to be in more thought.

~~~~~

Later in lunch, you were sitting at a table alone as you stared down at the food that Alfred made for you.

"Damn, it's fucking freezing in here. Why do they always turn up the AC?"

You mutter to yourself as you slightly shiver.

"Fucking tell me about it."

A voice pipes up that makes you look up to see two girls who are wearing the same uniform as you, walking over to you.

"Oh, sorry. Were you guys sitting here? I can move if you want."

You said before one of them shook her head.

"Nah, it's fine. You seem cool."

She said as she and the other girl sits down in front of you.

"I'm Noelle, and this is Sasha."

The girl in the bob cut said as the other girl nodded.

"I'm (name)."

You said in a bored tone.

"(name)... such a cute name. I like it."

Noelle said with a small smile.

"So, where did you come from?"

"The headmaster's office."

You said as you roll your eyes.

"Damn, the headmaster's office on the first day? What did you do?"

Sasha asks as she rests her chin on the palm of her hand.

"I told Ms. Tucker that she was a fucking white mom."

You respond in an emotionless tone.

"She is, isn't she?"

"Yeah, except I don't think she's married or anything."

"You don't need to be married to be a mom."

"That's true."

"Anyway, that was really good."

"I know."

You said with a small smirk on your face, feeling a sense of pride in yourself.

As the three of you were chatting, someone walks up to your table.

"Hey, guys. Hey, Sasha..."

Looking up, you see a slightly tall guy with brown hair, towering over the three of you.

"Who the fuck are you?"

Sasha asks as she glares up at the guy.

"It's me. Ian? I was in your social studies class last year. You know, year 8? You used to copy off of the tests that we took. I'm also in your geography class right now."

He said as Sasha just blankly stared up at him.

"Okay... cool."

"So, anyway, I actually wanna ask you something."

Ian said as he glanced down at the three girls below.

"Who?"

You ask with your eyebrow lifted.

"You, actually."

"Wait, me? Why?"

"I heard about you calling Ms. Tucker names and got sent to the office for that. I want to say that's actually pretty cool."

"Thanks, I guess."

"Yeah, so, anyway... I want to know if you're free either tonight or tomorrow."

"Why do you want to know?"

"I actually want to... take you out on a date."

"A date?"

You ask out loud with your eyes wide.

"Yeah. It's not going to be too extreme... just a simple night out at my favorite spot."

Ian said with a smile.

"And where's that?"

You ask with your eyebrow raised.

"The arcade at the alleyway."

"An arcade? Out of all the places, an arcade is your go to spot?"

"Yeah. It's pretty old, but it's also kinda cool."

You just blinked as you were in thought. The guy himself seemed pretty boring, but on second thought, you don't really want to go back home after school.

"Yeah, sure."

"Wait, really?"

Ian said out of suprise.

"Yeah, I have nothing else to do. My home life is pretty shitty anyway, so I have no problem."

You tell him.

"Oh, sweet. Okay, then. I'll give you my number to send you the location. It was nice meeting you."

He said before he placed a piece of paper in front of you before he walks off.

"Holy shit..."

Noelle mutters out.

"You got asked out by a grade 9 student."

Sasha said as she stared into you.

"Yeah... Is that a problem?"

You ask.

"No, not at all. It's just that... you got asked out by someone on the first day. That's pretty impressive."

Sasha said in an amazed tone.

"Yeah. I won't be that surprised that it's a super lame dude, but an older dude is kind of just... wow."

Noelle said with her eyes wide.

"So, if I get asked out by an older guy, does that mean it's a good thing?"

You ask as you lean back to your seat.

"Well, it depends on the guy. If he's just a few years older than you, that's fine. But really old dudes, no way."

Sasha said as she stares at your food.

"Hey, are you going to eat that? My mom won't make me anything cause I told her that her new haircut looks like a really trashy lesbian would have, and the school lunch here is just not it."

"Yeah, sure, go ahead. The temperature in here made me lose my appetite."

You said as you pushed your lunch towards her.

~~~~~

After school, you went through a very long day.

You had your date with that Ian guy at the arcade. It's pretty trashy but kinda fun. He even got you this massive bunny plushie. After the date, he wanted to take you home, but you just left before he could say anything else. Then, you end up meeting a guy who seems to be around a few years older than you on your way home. He took you to an abandoned building, but he ended up falling asleep the second you two entered. So, you ended up taking his wallet for an Uber. Once the driver dropped you off, he gave you his number for some reason. It was weird, but you took it anyway cause, why not.

~~~~~

"Whew, what a day..."

You muttered to yourself as you entered the Wayne manor.

"Miss (name), where on earth have you been?"

Alfred, the family butler, asks out of shock as he comes downstairs to find you coming inside.

"At an arcade."

You reply in a blank tone.

"So, I'm supposed to believe the story of you being at an arcade after school all night?"

The old butler wonders with his eyebrow lifted.

"All night? I was there for about what... Two or three hours."

"It's two in the morning, miss (name)."

"Oh, wow. I really hung around that building for that long?"

You mutter to yourself out of surprise.

"What building are you talking about, miss (name)?"

Alfred asks as he walks up to you.

"Some abandoned building I went to after my date at that shitty arcade."

You tell the butler as he kneels down to your height.

"How far away were you? Did you walk? Your uniform is a mess!"

He asks as he took a look at you.

"Nah, I got myself an Uber. It's fine."

You tell him with your tone still blank as ever.

"Miss (name), I don't think it's a good idea to accept rides from strangers."

Alfred said with a heavy sigh as he led you upstairs.

"That's how Ubers work, Alfred. You just find someone pretty close to your location and let them drive you anywhere you want. It's like going on a taxi."

You explain to him as he takes you to your bedroom and lets you sit down on your desk chair.

"I suppose. However, you could have given Master Richard or Master Jason to pick you up. I think that'll be a safer option."

Alfred said in reply as he took out some comfortable clothes from your closet and handed them over to you.

"Why the hell should I call these fuckers? They don't give a shit about me anyway."

You snap at the butler as you snatch your clothes from him and go inside your own bathroom.

It was silent as Alfred stood in front of your bathroom door with a concerned expression and a heavy heart. Then, he speaks up again.

"I tried to talk to them again today, especially to Master Bruce. But, I got no response from all of them. I really tried. I'm really sorry, miss (name)."

His words made the old butler pursed his lips as he let out a sigh. He feels guilty that he didn't try enough for your family to at least give you a glance. He's been doing this ever since you got neglected and tried every single day with no response.

That's when you open the bathroom door with you wearing the clothes that he gave you. A yellow sweatshirt and a black skirt.

"It's fine, just forget about it. I appreciate though."

You tell him as you look up at him.

"Sorry for snapping at you a second ago..."

You added as you put some of your hair strands behind your ear.

However, the butler only smiles as he kneels down to your height once again.

"I understand, miss (name). It's not your fault. None of this is."

He reassures you as he places both of his hands on your shoulders.

"Even though they might not pay attention to you that much, I will always be by your side."

He tells you that made you smile a little.

"Thanks, Alfred."

You mutter out.

"Also, let's keep me coming back home a secret, okay? I know that they won't care if they find out, but still."

You add with a chuckle that made the butler smile.

"Alright. But, I will advise you to go to bed now. It's a school night, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know."

Meanwhile, unknowingly to you, someone was beside your bedroom door, listening in the conversation.

~~~~~

Since then, you've never felt so... free.

You became friends with those two girls from lunch, and more guys asked you out while you two timed them the same time, and some of the teachers were so easy to bribe off that you ended up skipping most of your classes. At least you were still passing.

You also stayed up at night to do stuff like going out, doing some more lame dates, and most of all, just chilled out.

As long Alfred kept quiet about all this, then none of this would have a problem. Not that you have too much to worry about.

Life is going so well for you.

For now.

~~~~~

When the first semester ended and winter break started, you had a packed schedule ahead. You're planning to go on dates for the next two weeks straight. It was going to be tough, especially hanging around with a bunch of weird guys, but hey, at least they're buying you things that you want.

As you entered your bedroom because you forgot your phone, you were suprised to see...

Bruce?

He was sitting on your bed and seemed to be deep in thought before he looked up to see you standing by in the doorway.

"What are you doing in here?"

You ask as you walk into your room.

Bruce seems to be nervous before he lets out a sigh.

"(name)... we need to have a talk."

He said as he looked straight into your eyes which made you groan.

"Oh my god... Can we talk about this later? I have a date to go to."

You ask that made him a little frustrated.

"You're not going anywhere tonight, (name)."

He said that made you a little surprised.

"Why the hell not?"

"Watch your tone, young lady."

"Since when did you address me that?"

"Not the point right now."

Bruce lets out a sigh before he looks down at you.

"Look, I... was told about your behavior for the past months and I took a look through your things to check up on what was going on. I... didn't know what you were going through. None of us did. We didn't know that this the reason why you're behaving like this at school and started hanging out with the wrong people."

He tells you as he places his hand on your shoulder.

"I'm really sorry, (name)... I really am. Even though you can't forgive me for what I did, I'll try my best to be the best father you've ever had. I told the others about this and they'll start behaving and treat you the way that you deserve."

You just stood there, as if you heard the biggest news of your life, except not in a good way. It's as if something hit you right in the gut.

"Oh, shit! Um... okay."

You mutter out as you just stare at your adopted father.

Sensing your tenses, Bruce decided to go into more detail. Which was not a good idea...

"Because of this, I decided that you should be around people who me and the others will find alright. Since I don't know who you're around, Damian will check who your friends and the people you date are. Also, the family wants you to be around them. Such as spending time with them and basically having fun. Something that you never got to experience."

Now, this. This felt like a nuclear bomb dropped into your head.

"Are you serious...? Like, are you actually fucking serious right now?"

You ask as your eye twitches a bit.

"You really thought I could just accept whatever shit that comes out of your mouth because you suddenly remember what you and those other fuckers treated me? Now, you want me to drop out of the life that I kinda enjoy? You sure are funny, are you?"

You said in a bitter tone before your lips curled into a snarl.

"I will never forget about the shit that I went through to please you and that shitty family that I was forced to be a part of."

You added as you walked to Bruce and got in his face before you spit out the next two words out of your mouth.

"Fuck you and your family."

With that, you stormed out of your bedroom as Bruce calls out for you.

~~~~~

Your mind was flooded with so much anger that you ended up forgetting about the three dates that you were supposed to go to today.

This wasn't the way you wanted to start your winter break.

You don't know why, but you stormed into the attic and sat down on the floor.

"Fuck!"

You yelled out as you panted slightly.

As you were panting, you looked down to finally notice a glittery diary in your hand. Since when did you get your hand on this?

You can't help but open the diary to find all the pages empty. It's not really a suprise then you never used it in your life. You don't even remember when you got this.

So, you looked around before your eyes landed on a random pen lying on the ground. Without thinking, you picked it up and opened the diary to the very first page.

With that, you started to write your 'entry'.

It's time to show the world of this game that you're forced to be in.

•

•

•

Taglist: @somebodyrandom-613 @delias-stuff @endism @ragdol-666 @snowy-violet @sleepydhanie @missikkj @k1ttys-w0rld @box-of-kinderjoy @thetreefairypersonalblog @thelibraryofdeez @animegoddess15 @lilyalone @seraph101 @lain3iwakura @tacodeemon @whiterabbitxxx @yuyuzi-ling @lilithquillete @amisupposedtomakesenserightnow @una1002289 @spacetravelr @luckyangelballoon @illytian @ghostdoodlen @imaginarydreams @flyingpansaurus @wrenbirde @kimzzz18 @ohnoivefallen @ferakillia @f1lover4ever @asahi20789 @livingforloves @moonieper @rosecentury @waitingforanarchicaddiction @missmannequin @mischiefmanaged124 @hanselate @doli09 @chocolatemoose26 @enjisthings @stitchtheseconde @purple-lemon-8 @milliu @blublock404

(If you want to be in the taglist, let me know!)

[delusionalwriter02]

hi hi ✨️

hope ur doing good n stuff (if not then i hope it gets better <3)

i feel bad asking you to do a part 4 for fyodor in the insta series like you've only poseted the third part a while ago but i love it smmmmm🥲🥲😭😭😭 and i feel even worse cuz the anon that asked for a part 3 to fyodors was also me 😭😭😭😭

also i love you even more now cuz of ur authors note on that post (platonically)

(now i feel EVEN worse cuz now i feel like I'm guilt tripping or smth... i should just stop thinking at night shouldn't i?)

erm... soooo if u wanna could u do a prt 4 for the disgustingly lovely rat man (who rn could be a cockroach for all we know) 👉👈

(why are my asks always so long?😭😭)

luv u pookie <33 (have some ice cream <oo)

Insta as Fyodor’GF p.4

a/n : HELLO LOVELY!! Don’t worry you absolutely did NOT guilt trip or anything, I love writing for Fyodor so it’s always a pleasure!! love you sweetie (I’m eating ice-cream rn lol) hope you’ll like it !

<3 liked by Atsushiii, Golgot and 736 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : mine all mine

Fyofyo : Of course I’m yours my love

↳ Yosanurgirl : SO not to interrupt or anything BUT the wedding is in three weeks and you still haven’t found a place ????

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : WE DID GIRL

↳ Yosanurgirl : why wasn’t I informed ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : you all should received the invit soon

↳ Yosanurgirl : I AM your BESTFRIEND AND YOU DONT TELL ME FACE TO FACE ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : OKOK IM SORRY but wait the cards are SOOO pretty

↳ Yosanurgirl : fine 😔

Golgot : I still can’t believe you two are going to marry, still thought I had my chance

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : my bad, you want to be a flower girl ?

↳ Golgot : I CAN

↳ Fyofyo : No.

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : YES YOU CAN, I will send you your costume

↳ Golgot : LETS GO

↳ Fyofyo : Love ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : just trust me

<3 liked by Fyofyo, Sig_ma and 836 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : my girls and I

Yosanurgirl : we look SO SO GOOD

↳ Gintonic : the best clearly was Nikolai as a flower girl, I had to FORCE the straight face

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : hehe thanks to my genius mind

↳ Daze_i : must admit, you had a GREAT idea

↳ Golgot : Are you making fun of me ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : not at all don't worry, did you enjoy being a flower girl ?

↳ Golgot : YES THANK YOU IT WAS SO COOL

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : my pleasure

↳ Fyofyo : Our wedding is starting to look like a joke

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : lovveeee don't be mad, it made Nikolai happy

↳Fyofyo : Thank god we only have one wedding to do

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : well I hope i'll only have to marry once

↳ Fyofyo : I love you way too much to let you go now

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : I love you too, husband

↳ Fyofyo : I do love the sound of that, wife

<3 liked by Yosanurgirl, Atsushiii and 304 others.

Fyofyo : To the women who made me whole, I'll choose you in every lifetime

Yn_theoneandonly : I love you so damn much

↳ Yosanurgirl : my baby is growing, made me tear up

↳ Gintonic : correct me if I'm wrong but you DID catch the bouquet sooooooooooo

↳ Yosanurgirl : find me the right person, then we talk

↳ Gintonic : on it

Atsushiii : the photo is so beautiful

↳ Golgot : I KNOW I'M THE ONE WHO TOOK IT

↳ Daze_i : that's the first and last time I make a compliment to you but you did a good job

↳ Golgot : *a great job

↳ Daze_i : yeah whatever

Sig_ma : Congratulations, I hope it will be an happy marriage even thought I don't have much doubts about it

↳ Golgot : c'monnnnn make him sad, ruin him, I can fix him

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : thank you for your concern but I can assure you I don't plan on hurting my husband and he has no plan on hurting me

↳ Golgot : too bad

↳ Fyofyo : Say that again, I'll cut your tongue

↳ Golgot : I was JOKING

↳ Fyofyo : Better be

<3 liked by Akutagawa, Gintonic and 1043 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : Thank you everybody for coming, it was perfect thanks to you

Gintonic : being a bridemaid was so exciting, can't wait to be at your wedding Yosano

↳ Yosanurgirl : then you'll be my bride

↳ Gintonic : don't tempt me

KunikiDA : It had to take a wedding for Dazai to finally start behaving

↳ Daze_i : I can be a real gentleman when I want

↳ KunikiDA : So you chose to drive me mad

↳ Daze_i : Exactly

↳ Daze_i : wait no that's not what I meant

↳ KunikiDA : COME BACK HERE

↳ Chu_uya : He'll never learn

↳ Gintonic : you too Chuuya, during the whole ass night trying to annoy Dazai

↳ Chu_uya : well in my defense, it felt strange not doing it

↳ Gintonic : ooh tell me more, strange in a "i miss him" way or "i love him" way

↳ Chu_uya : more in the "I won't allow him to have a peaceful night" way

↳ Gintonic : hmmm I see, so it's love then

↳ Chu_uya : NO ITS NOT

↳ Akutagawa : Drop it Gin, he won't listen

↳ Gintonic : oooh you're so not escaping Ryu, we need to have a talk too

↳ Akutagawa : About what ?

↳ Gintonic : Atsushi

↳ Akutagawa : I'm not interested

↳ Gintonic : liar

Ranthebestpo : where are you going for your honeymoon ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : world tour

↳ Yosanurgirl : TAKE ME WITH YOU I CAN BE IN THE SUITCASE YOU WON'T EVEN NOTICE ME I SWEAR

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : I would love to believe me but the thing with an honeymoon is that it's between husband and wife

↳ Yosanurgirl : fucking stupid rules

<3 liked by Yosanurgirl, Sig_ma and 952 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : France i'm cominggg

Yosanurgirl : send me photoooooss

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : of course I will!!!

Gintonic : enjoy babe

↳ Golgot : @.FyoFyo so she's calling your wife babe and you don't even scream ??

↳ Fyofyo : She's my wife's friend, what can I do ?

↳ Golgot : oh my, you really fell in love

↳ Fyofyo : Just to be clear, during the wedding you still thought I wasn't in love ?

↳ Golgot : I'm never sure with you

↳ Fyofyo : You can be sure of two things, I'm in love and I'll still kill you if you annoy me too much

↳ Golgot : Always knew we were best friends, that's just our thing

↳ Fyofyo : Hating each other ?

↳ Golgot : we both want to kill the other without actually wanting to see them dead, just like Chuuya and Dazai or Atsushi and Akutagawa, if you die, with whom will I argue ? Can't lose my fight buddy

↳ Fyofyo : I can always fight with someone else

↳ Golgot : But no one can top me hehe

↳ Fyofyo : Notice how I'm not married to you ? So stop flirting

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Love I think we just need to accept he'll forever be like that

↳ Fyofyo : I think you're right, darling wife

Heyyy hope you liked it ? I am so so sorry for the time it took me to write the part 4 buuuut here it is! Thank you so much for your request and your kind words, I'll really try to take less time between request,

with love <3

[crossoverbaps]

Problem Solverz: Problem Break

“It's SO HOT!!!” Alfe groaned as he sat under the flimsy fan that was doing nothing to help him cool down. “Even my sweat is sweating!”

“You said that like a billion times!” Roba grumbled.

“Because it's true!” Alfe retorted.

“Why can't we go to the pool?” Alfe complained.

“Because…” Horace facepalmed, wearing a tank top and shorts instead of his sweater and long pants. “The pool isn't open.”

“When will it open?!” Alfe whined.

“In three weeks!” Horace groaned. “I told you that yesterday!”

“But I want to go to the pool now!” Alfe groaned.

“Well, we can't. Tux Dog is our only friend who has a pool and he won't even let us look at it.” Horace rolled his eyes.

“I have an idea!” Alfe pointed his finger up as a light bulb shined over his head. “I'll just go BEFORE it opens! Every time we drive past the pool I've seen fresh clean water in it.”

“Alfe! You can't do that! That's trespassing.” Roba gasped.

“I'm not trespassing. I'm just… Going early.” Alfe snickered, then he rammed through the wall and excited through the hole.

“Alfe!” Roba shrieked and started to run after him.

“Come back!” Horace followed suit.

Alfe ran as quickly as he could until he made it to the chain link fence.

“Alfe! Stop!” Roba commanded.

Alfe ignored him and climbed up the fence, then jumped down.

“Alfe, come back here this instant!” Horace demanded through the fence. But Alfe was already in the pool, splashing and diving happily. Horace knew he was going to regret this, but as he climbed up the fence, Roba came along with him. When they made it to the other side, they went over to see Alfe.

“Alfe, come back here or you're not getting any pizza.” Horace threatened, hands on hips.

“Aww man.” Alfe pouted. “Fine…”

Suddenly some police cars approached the pool and three cops went over to the boys and cuffed their hands behind their backs.

“What's the big idea?” Alfe growled.

“You're under arrest for trespassing.” The officer explained.

“You don't understand, we were just-” Roba was cut off.

“Tell it to the judge.” The cops dragged the Solverz to their cars and drove away.

All three boys were found guilty and locked in a cell and made to wear orange jumpsuits.

“I have a feeling… This may possibly be… Sort of my fault.” Alfe sighed.

“Now what?!” Roba scowled.

“I have another idea!” Alfe grinned.

“No!” Horace and Roba bluntly retorted at the same time.

Alfe ignored them once again and smashed a giant hole in the wall with his powerful fist.

“Alfe! This isn't right!” Horace argued.

“Actually… I can't spend another minute here!” Roba ran after Alfe. “Freedom!”

Horace sighed and then followed after them, but he tripped when his foot hit a rock and he fell in the mud on his stomach.

“There's one of them!” One of the guards announced as his dog barked viciously.

“Why me?” Horace whimpered as he was dragged to another cell.

“Well, my brilliant ideas got us out of another problem… That I caused. Let's celebrate with pizza!” Alfe cheered with his arms in the air.

“We can't celebrate yet! We lost Horace!” Roba corrected him.

“Oh no.” Alfe frowned. “We have to go get him, after we get pizza.”

“Alfe!” Roba chided.

“I mean right now.” Alfe agreed. He dialed a number. “Mayb Tux can help us.”

“Hello, you've reached Tux Dog’s number, I’m afraid I can't help you right now. I'm on an exclusive and expensive vacation. Toodles.” Tux Dog's voice-mail answered.

“Aw snap, what do we do now?” Alfe groaned.

“Poor Horace.” Roba shook his head. “He's usually the best behaved of us.”

“Yeah… By the way I must be extra hungry, there's this feeling in the pit of my stomach that won't go away…” Alfe questioned.

“I think you're experiencing your first feeling of guilt.” Roba groaned. “Come on…”

“Hey, I see two posters. Man those guys are hideous.” Alfe laughed at two wanted posters of him and Roba. The reward was 10000 dollars.

“Oh dear… We can't be seen out here in the open.” Roba grabbed Alfe's arm and dragged him to a bush.

Meanwhile Horace was still in prison, complaining to himself.

“This is it… I'm never going to get a real job or get married…” Horace groaned. “All because Alfe invaded the pool…”

“Horace Neon?” A guard called out.

“What?” Horace groaned.

“Someone is here to bail you out.” Next to the guard was a middle aged blonde woman.

“Thaz? What are you doing here?” Horace asked. “I haven't seen you in two seasons!”

“Sorry about that, fall and winter were crazy for me.” Thaz sighed. “Let me guess, Alfe.”

“Yep…” Horace answered.

“What are we gonna do with him?” Thaz shook her head. Horace followed her out of the jail and Horace smiled and hugged her.

“Thanks for everything.” Horace smiled.

“By the way, where are Alfe and Roba?” Thaz asked. Horace looked at the wanted posters on the tree and he had a huge frown on his face as his eyes widened. “Oh sh-”

THE END

[lastoneout]

Hey there! Sorry it's kind of late, but I just remembered I said I'd send you a follow up ask about your dislike for the monster mom from Undertale when you had more time. But if you still don't have the time or just aren't feeling up to it, absolutely no worries! Hope you have a nice Friday!

I FORGOT ABOUT THIS

But yeah I really don't like her at all and it's maybe bcs I'm projecting some baggage onto her or smthn, but basically I went into Undertale completely blind bcs my friend told me I should experience it as fresh as possible, the only hint I got was "try not to kill anyone", so from my perspective here's what the beginning of the game was like(also forgive me if anything is out of order plot wise, I've only played the game once and it was seven years ago):

- Okay, the main character I'm playing as has clearly fallen into some sort of fantasy world, alright, games probably gonna be about us finding our way home then, cool!

- Oh, there's a goat lady?? Who's....acting like she's my mom??? Weird, I don't know her at all, and I super don't trust her bcs in fantasy stories like this you gotta watch out for characters who seem super nice but secretly want to keep you trapped "for your own good". It's a classic trope, so I'm :/ about her.

- Oh god she's being so overbearing and way too nice ugh I already don't like pushy tutorial npcs and she's def giving me bad vibes now, she's probably going to try to trap me here. All of this nice stuff feels culty and dangerous and weird, and there's this creeping dread, eugh...

- I hate butterscotch. I told her I preferred cinnamon bcs I don't like butterscotch, but now I have to eat it anyway, so she's not listening to me. So she's acting like my mom while creating an environment where my desires and preferences are not prioritized. This sucks.

- There were other kids down here maybe? What happened to them? Hmmm I think I'm in Danger.

- Eh, her house is nice but it's so empty...I don't like it here. She's refusing to talk to me about where I am or tell me how to leave, and she's kinda like demanding I just give up and live here with her and absolutely acting like she's my mom now, so yeah def trying to trap me here, I guess I'm a kidnapping victim. We gotta figure out a way to get the fuck out of here this place is culty and weird and too happy and I hate it.

- And she's trying to stop us! I knew it.

- And now she's kinda guilt tripping me! Wow yeah we REALLY need to leave.

- Fight time, but I'm not supposed to kill so I guess we just push forward? Eugh she's trying to make me feel bad for her but I don't. I just want to leave!

- Oh okay the fight is over? And she's telling me...that I can never come back?? This lady full on kidnapped me and started acting like my mom and now she's ditching me?? Bcs SHE'S too sad?? Oh my god, that's so fucking mean! I'm not even allowed to call her? Not that I wanted to, but she's just full on cutting me off?? Listen you either want to be my mom or you don't, if you're gonna commit, then fucking commit! You don't get to just act like you love me and then rip it all away! Jesus, this sucks. Okay, well fuck you too lady, I'm leaving, see ya never I hope!

And then I got really emotionally invested in everyone else and especially Asgore bcs I love a tragic king who is trying to do what's right even if it involves horrible things and losing every thing and everyone he loves, but hey at least he's being up front about it! And not lying to me or anything! I appreciate the honesty.

But then she showed up at the end of the game and I was just like oh god she's back fucking yikes. And she's acting like she's better than Asgore?? And he's listening?? Damn also she's totally okay with murder since she just told him he could have taken one human soul and crossed the barrier, so she doesn't even have the moral high ground on that, so she's a coward and so fake wtf, oh god now she's acting like my mom again, fucking great. I'm running as soon as the credits roll.

So yeah....I was VERY surprised when I went online and saw how everyone loved her so much, cuz to me she's just a rude weird control freak lady who tried to trap me in purgatory alone with her forever and then acted like I was the bad guy for asking to leave before Completely Abandoning me. And maybe it's due to some trauma I've been through or smthn, I think it probably is tbh, but I just cannot bring myself to see her as anything but a weirdo who pretended to love me and then abandoned me the second I asserted a single boundary.

And that's why I don't like Toriel.

[raeshutupandbookup]

"How pathetic am I?" Speaking shakily into the phone.

"What do you mean?" He responds as I hear him repositioning himself and shuffling some things around.

"Just. . .I went into a bookstore after months of not going to one. . ."

"Oh cool! I know you've been really wanting to go. Was honestly going to take--"

Taking in deep gulps of air, I hear him slowly stop, "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I. . .I didn't buy anything."

"What do you mean? I sent you some money to help you be carefree with--"

"I know but I couldn't do it!" Leaning into the headrest my car seat.

Taking a deep breath, he lowers his voice as concern seeps in, "Why not? Did something happen because I will be--"

"You need the money to help get new glasses and I know you have been--"

"Hey, easy." Struggling with talking I concentrate on him moving around before he continues in a calming tone. "Just breath. Was there a big crowd?"

Nodding I sigh, "Yes, it's the holidays so it was packed, I mean not like fully packed but packed."

"What else?"

"Just. . .moneys been tight, and I can't buy new clothes and the jeans I currently have on make me feel like I am a sardine in a can. . ." Reaching down I unbutton my jeans sighing with a little bit of relief. Trying to ignore the feelings of guilt that I have gained some weight.

"I bet they still look amazing on you and really hug your a--"

"I knew you would say that! Just that's not the point! The--"

"I know what the point is. You just need some new clothes; we can plan a trip together to do just that." He stated while chuckling.

"But you--"

"Listen, I didn't send you that money to make you feel guilty or to "test" you or anything else your brain is trying to formulate. I know you've been getting into reading and reviewing, and I wanted to help you out. Physical copies being your favorite form to read and everything."

Smiling I glance back at the bookstore still lit with people happily browsing and laughing with one another. Picking up books and gasping at the beautiful covers.

"I'm supposed to be this bigshot and yet I can't even go into a bookstore without feeling overwhelmed." Griping my phone, I look back down at the hood of my car.

"I should have come with you."

"You had to attend your conference and I wanted to get a Christmas present for myself. I honestly didn't even expect to be here. With the constant bills and expenses that kept popping up."

Hearing his smile as he spoke drew the corners of my mouth up. "I know, and that's why I wanted to do this for you. I should've known it would have been better if I had gone with you."

"I miss going into bookstores with my dad but. . ." Letting my shoulders drop I studied the chipped, artificial leather on the steering wheel. "He wouldn't approve of what I read and so we wouldn't really vibe as well as we used to. And since I'm not making money yet from reviewing, he doesn't care."

"That's a bullshit way of looking at things. This makes you happy and the way you light up as you talk to me about books? Priceless and if I could, I would buy you that whole damn store!"

Laughing I shake my head, "I know you would but please no nonfiction I live that every day. . ."

"It's a deal! Look I'm going to get glasses, okay? Mom's sending me cash because she wants me to graduate with honors and all that. I guess to get those certificates I need to actually see what I'm doing."

"You could go blind in the middle of your finals and still pass with marks higher than anyone else!"

"Aw, I'm glad you have such confidence in me. Did the bookstore have any of the books you wanted?" Asking as I heard him grabbing a glass of something.

"No. . .I mean they did but they didn't. Just I'm overwhelmed. . .I have so many books and reads I said I would get done before the end of the year and yet I'm at a bookstore. How can I justify buying new books when I can't even go home and instantly read them?"

Swallowing he chuckled, "You can buy books. You don't have to justify anything. You're simply knocking out some of your TBR list and having the physical copies. Even if you don't get to them until two months from now, they're still yours. They helped to bring that beautiful smile to your face."

Feeling my checks warm I squeezed the phone, "I want to come back here with you."

"When I get back in town we will. Buy the books you really want online, hell I will send you extra money so you can get the hardbacks."

"No, you won't!"

"Buy the books you want and then we will plan to eat at a fancy restaurant and go to the bookstore. And I will not allow you to leave without buying at least one book." Continuing his train of thought with a smirk on his face I could hear from the other side of the phone.

"You're encourageable." I mutter as I start the car.

"Only with you."

If you use or continue with these two, please tag me! Would love to read!

[achilleanlagoon]

GOOD OMENS HAIKYUU AU

I saw a fanart once and someone on the reblogs (@/youwerethedefeated) said that they came up w a good omens au so kudos to them for inspiring me to write this post.

Unfortunately I thought about it myself and made my own GO AU because I cannot interact with people and I am deranged.

So, here's kind of what I came up with:

We have Shoyo as the demon, but I don't think he's like Crowley AT ALL, so I believe it would be fun to play with his character a bit and make him a silly little guy that no one would ever believe is a demon. Like he probably does live in a luxurious apartment and doesn't have a job, and he probably has friends because he's so social.

I was thinking that he's basically what Crowley is, Hell's Representative On Earth (trademark), except that he does his job a little bit too well... He's friends with humans and often hangs out with them, he does tend to misuse slang though, he had a lot of friends in the 80's so he cannot help but use it.

He's a silly manfailure of a weirdo but deep inside he is in fact, a sick twisted vile freak. For instance, he is, in fact, a plant terrorizer, but he's a bit more passive aggressive about it, choosing to execute plants in front of the others to assert dominance, he's a master of psychological manipulation, so he tends to guilt trip the plants only to then tell them that if they have a spot he will not hesitate to commit public execution.

Since his main demonic skill appears to be psychological manipulation, he does not hesitate to use it, not ever. He used it with Achilles which um.... Didn't go as planned.... Definitely not... But he doesn't talk about that. What's important is that it has worked pretty well, and his boss, Kenma, is convinced that he is to blame for every atrocity to ever happen on Earth.

Shoyo does feel kinda bad for being blamed for the Spanish Inquisition though....

Kenma would have the role of Beelzebub, while Kuroo would half take Gabriel's role *wink* *wink* for reasons. I say half take for reasons I'll explain in Tobios part.

Okay so, Tobio is our angel. My vision for him is that he would still keep his main characteristics, he always looks grumpy, which drives people away from him, but he's also super polite and good boy with everyone that is not Shoyo (or Tsukki) .

Hear me out, instead of a bookshop, he owns a Strange-Sport-Garment™ shop, and he pulls an Aziraphale by making it as un welcoming as possible so that people won't even think about buying anything. He is also a vegan because he ate lamb once and felt really really really bad.

He of course eats a lot.

Our angel is also a landlord, but he feels bad so he lets the people running the shops he owns not pay rent because hey, Suga's nice to him, he respects Tanaka a lot, Kiyoko's also cool, so he doesn't mind giving them a free pass. Humans are weird anyway and he doesn't really understand the economy.

He doesn't think he does a bad job on Earth, except that cherubs Kunimi and Kindaichi (his replacements after he was demoted to Principality) always come down to supervise him and tell him that he's not doing a good job . Basically they come down to judge him because they don't like him and to be honest Tobi doesn't either.

It's not like his bosses , the Archangels , are any nicer though. Except for Tetsuro and Hajime and Wakatoshi when they're in a good mood . They come down to supervise him, sometimes finding themselves surprised that he's actually not that badly adjusted to modern human society . (Nevermind that he has no idea how to use a cellphone)

However, his main boss, Supreme Archangel Tooru, does appear to have a beef with him. Tobio has absolutely no idea why he dislikes him so much though. So, this means Oikawa is supreme Archangel instead of Tetsu who would be Gabriel, this is mostly because I just really wanted Kuroken to be ineffable bureaucracy.

(also, just picture Kuroo as "that is VERY good you can't have WAR WITHOUT WAR!?"or "Thank you for my pornography !" or "I do not sully the temple of my celestial body")

And also because I think Toto would be good as Supreme Archangel, like he worked very hard for it and is scared that this random Principality he's sure is not doing a good job but no one believes him might take his role away because he himself not perfect at his job.

As for other characters.... We got the other Archangels (Kita, Yaku and Washijo) and some extra cherubs: Mika and Tsukki! And a lower ranked angel: Hitoka!

As for humans I guess you could say Akaashi would take Newt's role while Bokuto would take a cheerful full 360° turn in Anathemas character! I still don't know what story we're telling here I'm just thinking of both good omens seasons and the book.

Down in hell, we got our dukes of hell, Suguru, Satori and Omi! Kiyoomi is very disgusted by hell so he wears a full on exterminator suit because SATAN FORBID any demon gets near him. He is also very much aware of the fact that Shoyo does not do his job well he just couldn't care less.

We also have Furfur(s), Atsumu and Osamu! My idea for them is that they're copies of each other but they turned out wrong so they're opposites and have different hairs (no one can differentiate them though). They've both gotten in trouble for licking the walls.

They're in charge of checking people into hell, which is different from Sunarin's job (basically just paperwork) , which is to gather paperwork from previously established demons because Kenma doesn't like doing all the work by himself .

As for the names, I feel like It makes more sense if they only use their first name and their last name is more of a type of alias that they use when they're down on Earth.

That's all I have for now! Thank you for reading my testament god bless

[passionfruitmango]

This might get a little trauma dumpy

[Upd8, it is]

I was just watching this reel about being a kid and recognizing when one of your friends came from a "weird" family. Well I didn't share the reel on fb because "underwear dinner" sounds like some fucked up shit the person that made the reel had to experience.

But it started with them talking about going to a friend's house, getting offered a snack and drink like normal, kids friend takes his mom up on the Bud Light and mom was "I'm a cool mom you can only have a sip" and left it in reaching distance from him, kid kept sipping whenever mom turned his back whatever

Okay so that reminded me of when I was 15, got invited to my 16 year old friends family cabin. They went yearly, she got to bring a different friend each summer, I was the "lucky choice" that summer. Everything was semi fine and fun until one of the other parents made me and my friend a drink, my friend said they have them all the time at the cabin, I was wondering why it tasted like shit but they told me it was pineapple.

They fucking gave me a piña colada without telling me. At 15. I was NOTORIOUSLY LOUD about being "straight edge" and THIS FRIEND KNEW THAT!!! SHE COULD HAVE TOLD ME AND JUST SHRUGGED IT OFF.

I obviously didn't drink it once i heard said parent say piña colada and not just "a drink" and then my friend and said parent still had the audacity to make me feel bad for not wanting it???

Hindsight is insane because this friendship fizzled out over high school, I had another mutual friend try to invite me to hang out with this friend again as adults, and genuinely this friend was never my friend and if I'm being honest is probably racist or just doesn't like non white people.

This bitch (the OG friend not the one that invited me to see said friend) had the AUDACITY to guilt trip me when I said I wouldn't be joining the group to do an escape room. Why? I told them I had zero interest in a Harry Potter themed escape room because i NEVER got into it like they did, and would prefer we do one of the other 2-3 options listed. Well because I was the "only one" who wasn't interested, they just chose to "do the Harry Potter one anyway" because "I should be able to figure it out" LOLNO Imma just not go then.

She tried to guilt trip me because she had to "change the cheesecake factory reservations last minute" LOOOOOOL GET FUCKING REAL.

This OG friend didn't invite me to her wedding either and everyone at Bar Trivia (the get together our mutual friend invited me to, which I thought went well, then covid hit, bar trivia was canceled, but they just HAD to go to the cities as a group to do "fun stuff!") was talking about how great a time they had and all these little moments only they'd understand, meanwhile I was just sitting there sipping on my drink fake smiling like c:

Good riddance I definitely blocked the OG friend on everything after I realized what a sour taste it left in my mouth, and now I've noticed 2 of the 3 friends that were present at Bar Trivia that night are also now colder to me!!! Luckily my original mutual that invited me is still in touch. It's just fucked to see people you were super close to make no effort to want to be around you or include you.

But I'm sure if I mentally went back through my memories, hindsight would show me a fuck ton more.

Just like how I just remembered this OG friend is the same person who made me cry during my first and only time playing "strip uno" because she wanted to play it for her birthday. "I don't know why you're hiding hunched over like that, you just look worse" OH BUT THE OTHER GIRL WHO SAID NO TO PLAYING DIDNT GET TREATED LIKE ME. MAYBE BECAUSE SHE WAS ALABASTER PALE.

Fuck you [redacted], you fake ass cunt.

[findme-at1am]

Hahhhahhah context firstttt- My grandparents died two years ago, my grandmother first then a year and a couple days to be exact my grandfather followed. He took care of her in his last days, screaming at her and honestly verbally abusing her. As a teen I told my mother I couldn't stand to see it so my mother didn't force me. My aunt knew and did nothing, had ALL of his money and we're thinking near a million... Not a single nurse or even recommending one to papaw to at least scare him into acting right. She said and did nothing and never brought it up again, whenever it was brought up she'd act like it was a pain or bother and still post on Facebook how she's "putting her life on hold for both her parents 🙏" . Which she always went online to pat herself on the back or only associate with my family when my mother's health went down hill, then she was oh so humble /s "Thanks so much for giving my sister a second life 😇." Cool thanks for guilt tripping my mother while she was juggling kids, her own health, and her mother's health when you decided to guilt trip her over not visiting when she's getting dialysis, surgery, and medicine changes back to back and driving all the way to Ohio to do so (an 8hr drive all together to there and back home.)

My blood aunt, their oldest daughter, put herself over his will with no thought of my mother over ANY decision regarding the funeral, (not casket nothing.) didn't get either a live in aid/nurse, worked as an EMT at a tunnel full time (so well off AND no time to keep watch on my gmother who had dementia and was attempting to sneak out and gfather who had fell prior) and had ALL and I mean half a million put back from papaw's shit and she used it "all for the funeral..." And his house has the most thinnest walls, no wall separating the bathroom AND KITCHEN (at the time he was alive) AND A HOLE IN THE BATHROOM FLOOR LETTING AIR IN.. MY OLD GRANDPA KEPT A WHOLE JUMPSUIT ON 24/7 AND THE HEAT UP IN THE 80'S bro we suffocated and would always bring it up when we visited (for his sake obv.) and they both suffered living their last years here... And she let them while holding the money and saying "what else could I do."

Doing what's right would be a great start.

Of course after the funeral was done her car was paid off, her house completely paid off, retired early, got a boat and is having renovations done to her house as we speak and she does parties on her boat with a preacher who's church she pays the electric bills for... So where'd you get all that money when you said you've been "struggling" and "living off your taxes"...?

So now she recently found out she has cancer and was loopy due to the tumors pressing against vital organs for a week~ around her brain and lungs yet she has enough energy to guilt trip my family when they visit (I personally haven't bothered, I wanted to for a day then got a reality check that her actions weren't my fault and despite my feelings she didn't and never wanted a true relationship with me so). And roll her eyes when they actually act civil and WANT to see her.. My aunt's daughter doesn't want to tell my mother (her own sister..) anything regarding her health. Which is fine, but don't act like it's cause of my mother tho yours is just pure shit n rocks in a bag.

I'm tempted to post everything on Facebook and let her have it out in the open since she likes showing how good of a person she is and posting plates of food she brought papaw, right? 😊 You don't get a Cancer Get Out of Jail Free Card when you're being a cunt and every day I'm tempted closer and closer to making that side of the family mad and just making a PSA lmao 😊

[notproofread]

A Court of Mist and Fury pt. 4

Or Somehow its not getting better

hi & hello fellow book-lovers and/or fans of the ACOTAR/ACOMAF-series. I have another part for you about A Court of Mist and Fury. Maybe by now you can tell how many thoughts I had about this book lmao. Anyways this is just my opinion on the matter and should not be taken as the only truth. If you want to you can leave your opinion in the comments or send me a message and we can talk more about it :) But for now let's get back into it.

We have some more Characters to discuss: Nesta, Elain and Lucien. And while we are at it I will also leave you a rant about ships

First things first (and don't get angry with me now): Nesta and Elain are pretty boring up until now. While I have to say that their involvement in the story in ACOMAF is more solid I am still a bit iffy because of ACOTAR. They were introduced to the reader as pretty much useless, rather unlikeable women (hence why I was so happy when Mor and Amren were introduced because finally women who were cool <333) and only got a bit of redeeming when Feyre returned for a short time. But in her absence they got rich. hm. I don't know, something just feels off. Why were we presented with a Cinderella-Type-Story just for both sisters to play an (apparently) much bigger role in this and coming books? Am I really supposed to like them now? And damn how convenient it is that their father is never home lmao. Other than that I don't really have that many thoughts about them as individual characters because well they are kinda bland :/ But I will give Sarah J. Maas the benefit of the doubt for now, maybe both Nesta and Elain will be given more character, motivation and overall substance in the next part of the series.

Lucien on the other hand was amazing in the first book. Personally he is my second favorite after Rhys as of now. We only got to see bits and pieces of him, his backstory and his powers during the first book and even less of that now in ACOMAF, which I found pretty sad. And when he gets to have some "screentime" he gets guilt-tripped by Feyre (as if Tamlin is not his superior and closest friend, of course he would be loyal aaarrggghhhh). However as much as I would like him to have a bit more of a backbone, I can understand why he is staying so loyal to Tamlin, at least based on what we as readers know of him up until now. And yet I can't help to wish for a bit more to his character, more of what he was in the first book: fiery, cunning, cheeky; a fox. Not just Tamlin's pet, only wincing not opening his mouth, except when it comes to Elain.

Which leads me to the trope I hate most in books: the author feeling the need to couple up all of the main characters/all characters in the mc's close circle. And we're circling back to Nesta's and Elain's involvement in the story. Were they brought back from their rather plain existence in the human world and turned to Fae because they need to function as love interests for Cassian and Lucien? Why is Cassian so easily smitten by Nesta anyways? Because she is a cHaLlEnGe to him? Or did he also already have his mate-instincts activated without us knowing? Is the concept of a mate even really of romantic significance, when Lucien had a love interest before in the Autumn Court? Why would Fae even bother to date other people when they can't feel that they are their mates? Because as I understood it the Fae are immediately able to feel if someone is their mate, like Rhys did for Feyre and Lucien for Elain. Or is it just the man feeling this first? The concept of finding your mate is actually something I really like, destined lovers is so cute and asdfghjkl BUT in this universe the extent of this concept is still very much unclear to me as you may have noticed.

Guys, idk about you but I personally do not like it, when every Character needs to end up in a romantic relationship. Is that really the end-goal? If something is turning me off of the next books it's this trope of romance-everywhere, especially when it's this destined lovers one. Because in and of itself that trope is amazing, but when the romantic partner becomes a characters only driving force in their life from this point on it gets old very quickly and most importantly undermines other characters traits a person very much should have. I don't know how SJM will handle this in the upcoming parts of the series. Because looking back at Feyre and Ryhsand I already feel as if their romance is now the focus, the driving force, especially for Feyre. Her thoughts seem to circle back to Rhys constantly as if her returning to the Spring Court would not have any other downsides than not being at Rhys' side. Shouldn't the trauma and fear she had experienced there be a bigger concern? At least at the beginning? Has Tamlin not realized that Feyre is not his mate? Doesn't that mean that there is a person out there that would be the perfect fit for him? Isn't that important enough for him to maybe rethink his actions? And why do I have the feeling that the only reason Lucien will show some backbone is because he has that weird, borderline creepy possessiveness towards Elain? Because let's be real being that possessive is not attractive even when Rhys does it.

[escapenightmare]

04:46 PM — DENKI KAMINARI.

“it wasn't supposed to rain until tomorrow.”

denki pouts as he watches the rain patter away endlessly outside, making him shake his head in disappointment and look at you with guilt. gazing around at the shop you ducked into, full with others who had run from the rain and the people who were actually there to eat, he flinches when a loud clap of thunder followed his statement. “sorry about all this.”

he had always had a love-hate relationship with the rain; as a child, he'd been scared of the lightning and thunder, and despised it because he could be putting everyone near him in danger if he went out in the rain, but as he got older, he grew out of the former, and became mesmorized by how pretty the rain looked sometimes.

he never got away from his fear of hurting someone, and yet he still thought the rain was pretty cool, and interesting. but, now he's having second thoughts.

you lightly smile— yeah, you were disappointed too, and yes you were sad that the date denki planned for days, the date he had put so much effort into had to be stopped short due to the sudden change in weather but you didn't want him to feel even sadder than he already was. “it's alright, denki.”

“it's not,” he juts his bottom lip out. “i planned a lot of things to do too.”

you lean against the window as you ask, “like what?”

“a walk in the park, then the aquarium, lazer tag, picnic after that to relax, trip to this nice bookstore, dinner at this cool restaurant i saw online— and there were some other stuff after that.”

surprised, you tilt your head, “did we have time to do all of that?”

“yep!” denki nods. “i made a schedule and everything, i had to ask for deku's help with fitting everything in though.”

denki looks out the glass window again, taking a sip from the soft drink he had ordered. “the rain doesn't look like it'll stop soon.”

he was right. in fact, it looked like the sky had darkened even more, and it was raining even harder. the traffic was increasing too, but the amount of people walking outside had reduced. and at least the lightning and thunder stopped, you think.

denki moves closer, and leans his head on your shoulder. “i'm so sorry. i just wanted today to be a fun day y'know? we haven't spent time together since before exams, and when we were free from studying we were always napping or just laying around doing nothing.”

“denki—”

“just hear me out, babe.” you nod, and he goes on. “it's just— i heard tsu and uraraka talking about a movie they watched last week, and tsu said that communication is a key thing in a relationship, so is spending time with each other, and the main characters of that movie didn't do that so they ended up breaking up and never talking to each other again.... i don't want that to happen to us.”

you sigh, reaching up and running a hand through his blonde locks. he leaned closer at the warm feeling, making you chuckle. “that's not going to happen to us, okay? we might be kind of dumb, but we're not as dumb as the main characters in a stupid romcom. sure, we didn't talk much in the last few days because of the exams, but at the end of the day, we did text each other a good night before going to sleep, didn't we?”

“we did but,” he closes his eyes and exhales through his nose. “i don't know, i guess i felt like a bad boyfriend.”

“well, you aren't.” you say firmly, patting his cheek and turning your had to kiss his forehead. “we'll do everything you planned to do today on the day after, or if it stops raining soon, we'll try to do most of it before curfew.”

denki nods, wrapping his arms around your midsection and nuzzling his cheek against yours. “i love you.”

“i love you too, now move so i can go buy you that cake you like so much.”

only the real ones will reblog! <3

[olderthannetfic]

I've been low key obsessed with your blog. You've managed to cultivate a lot of interesting conversations and topics, so I wind up always coming back to scroll anything I may have missed. So, out of curiosity, what motivated you to create this blog, and what kinds of conversations and responses do you enjoy the most?

--

Heh. It's just my personal blog. I couldn't get my usual username, so the name is a random joke about some 1990s fandom wank I was reading about at the time. I don't really do side blogs or themed blogs usually. I just have a personal account wherever fandom has moved most recently.

What motivated me to join tumblr specifically was a promise I made to myself back in like 2003 to not be an embarrassing grandma next time we were all switching platforms and to try to be an early(ish) adopter of the next big thing instead of kvetching about it and needing to be dragged by my ear.

By now, I'm much more used to Tumblr, and Dreamwidth feels awkward and unfamiliar, which is pretty funny. I wouldn't have predicted that back in 2011.

--

I enjoy meta. I like it when people have long text comments about how they see a fandom or a trend in fandom. I love it when people post about bits of fandom history I don't know about. I like hearing about fandom outside of English. I like people posting personal impressions and anecdotes as much as harder facts, but I don't like appeals to emotion. I like people celebrating their rare fandoms and underappreciated fannish interests but not guilt trips.

If you really love the thing, go make the thing happen! Don't bitch about nobody else doing it for you! In fact, that's the root of a lot of what I like in fandom: the DIY, can-do attitude of community and infrastructure builders that we see in niche subcultures. I think it's been diluted a bit as fic fandom has become more accessible and mainstream, but it's still around.

Basically, I like an oldschool Livejournal and mailing list vibe. I'm in fandom for conversation and discussion and longform text.

I want that oldschool style but without the depressive wangsting about being left behind or the full dose of 'offa my lawn' that sometimes goes along with it in the genuinely oldschool spaces. I want to see younger people picking up bits of that LJ vibe because they enjoy it and it's a cultural style that can be applied to any community, not because they think they were born decades too late.

It's never too late to go consume old media or research an interest or pick up a hobby! It's never too late to create new communities, using what we like of the old and discarding the shitty bits. Somebody made a Miami Vice discord not so long ago. I was shocked but pleased.

I like it when fans who build things tell me about their cool projects, whether it's a little discord or something as ambitious as bobaboard. I like it when people ask me for help with their research or tell me the results of research they've already done. I love those "how do I find fandom history thing X?" questions that let us dive down a rabbit hole of figuring out what platform the thing would have been on and if there are any wayback links.

I guess I prefer happy things overall. We all need more happiness in our lives. But I'm not someone for whom pure squee of the "So dreamy!" *swoon* variety works very well: I express my love by analyzing and making things, and I like other fans who do the same.

I keep meaning to go back through the BTS a/b/o fic I've read and pick out all the weird gender roles and fun worldbuilding ones and write some meta about how this style of fandom led me to liking a/b/o where before I hated it. That's the kind of happy + navel gaze-y fandom thing I most enjoy. When I find someone else writing this kind of thing, even for fandoms I don't care about, I love it.

I dunno... I think it's pretty obvious what I enjoy from what I spend my time on: longform text, intellectualism, history, telling sanctimonious bullies to stuff it.

[arcadejohn127-9]

What if Mc was a person who don't take shit from anyone, demon human or Angel, and just was this small sassy piece of dynamite? How’d everyone react?

MC who takes no shit - brothers + undateables

Satans pact and chapter 16 spoilers

Lucifer:

So you've chosen death

This man can't even handle the smallest sign of defiance

an actual bitch boy

"You are here because you were picked to attend, you were listed to be under my care, this is MY house! You follow MY rules-"

"hold that for a second, I'm calling Dia."

He's so easy to rile up

You feed off his quick temper, he makes it too easy

But he deserves it

Too many times he thinks he can just control you and his brothers

You've cut Mammon down from the ceiling, when faced to Lucifer you just handed him the rope

"If you want someone to hang so much, do it yourself, old man, it is your fault after all - if you didn't leave your cursed valuables lying around Mammon would of never tried to steal them and get himself cursed."

Mammon:

He both scared of you and in awe of you

He's surprise you're still alive at this point

Of course you're alive, the great Mammon is looking after you

You have definitely called him out for being a tsundere

"So, you wanna make out or do you wanna keep yammering on?"

"I- You can't just be saying that to demons!! Why would I wanna kiss some human-"

"Kay, I'm going to go see if Levi wants to-"

"WAIT! DON'T DO THAT!"

Whenever he steals something from you or the others, you go on a man hunt

"Sell your own stuff! You always have something new in there! or are you that scummy and bad with money you need to steal off others ?"

Please have some mercy with him

In general, finds your sassy attitude interesting, always wonders what the new comment or roast will be

Levithan:

Scared and in awe but times it by 10

Is mostly terrified because you make him upset

Didn't expect to be called a guilt tripping bitch

"You're busy? I get it, I mean - why would you ever want to spend time with someone like me? I'm just some nobody, a yucky otaku who no one wants to be around-"

"I get having a low self esteem but shitting on yourself at EVERY given chance and then go on to be about how yucky and worthless you are when I just wanna spend time with someone else?! You can fuck right off!"

He thinks you're a delinquent, has gotten you a cool jacket so you can put it over your shoulders

You can pat him on the back for at least being able to stand up for himself, he's always ready to brawl and never shys away from calling his brothers out

Always lets you wear his headset and just watches as you cuss and sass any petty player

Satan:

It seems you keep choosing death

You wanna get sassy and back talk the literal embodiment of wrath????!

So - do you want be buried or cremated?

You take none of his shit

He respects it just as much as he hates It

We all know he has good control over his anger but there's a limit on how much of your attitude he can stand

"You're so petty, do you have to be a smart-ass about everything?"

"that's rich coming from the guy who threatened to cut off my limbs because I wouldn't make a pact wth him."

When he doesn't respond you just nod to yourself, checking your nails

"Yeah that's what I thought."

If he needs to come up with a good come back he always asks you

Sits back and watches you argue with Lucifer

Asmodeus:

He loves it until you call him out

Didn't expect to get psychologically profiled

"At first I thought you were just a narcissist but now I see you're just a Insecure man who placed his value on his looks and how people perceive him-"

" You can't seem to handle any type of bad press about you-"

"Oh? Did you make yourself look bad then blame it on someone else because they just wanted to do what they please? Oh boo hoo!"

You could end this man's career with a single word

But, if you're 'no shit' attitude is targeted to someone else? He's all over it

Will sigh dreamily and watch you chew Someone out

Unless you get super roasty and rude - he encourages you to talk to him with an attitude

"You're so hot when you talk like that~"

Knows you aren't all sass, he definitely enjoys your more softer side

Will invite you to a sleep over so you two can gossip and rant over a bottle of wine and do a mini spar

Beezlebub:

What prompted you to be this sassy? He's baby!

I mean, he did throw a fit when you ate his custard and destroyed your room

Sure, constant hunger is painful but he can survive without one custard

Yeah- he can be up for roasting and being chased out

"You've told me you literally want to eat me! How is that comforting?! You're hunger tantrums are already bad enough but now I know I could be on the menu?"

"No thanks! Do the hokey pokey and turn your goofy ass around!"

Has a habit of being your stool, he doesn't mind really, finds it pretty adorable actually

You're so small compared to demons so when a gym jock is being rude about you or Beel

You just snap your fingers and he'll sit down, hunch over and put his hands over his head

You'll just step on his palms (you take off your shoes angrily whilst telling the jock demon to not move an inch) and just go off

He understands where alot of your cusses come from, he agrees with you and feels guilty on his behaviour

Really likes it when you stand up for him; normally no one does that because he's such a big guy

Belphie does it but things can be abit disheartening when your twin Is the only one rushing to help you

Belphegor:

You know what? Understandable, please, fire away

Just keep making jokes and references to all the bad things he's done

He needs to be put in his place

The dude has literally killed you! If you weren't going to give him an earful when you recovered then what was the point?!

This man is one of many bastards in this school

Either watches you go off on people or sleeps mid arguement to stop hearing you call him out

"I'm innocent, I haven't done a single thing wrong in my life."

"wELL-"

He will always respect you for looking out for his twin, when he can't do anything he always looks to you to step in

Has held things out of your reach just to watch you get mad

UNDATEABLES↓

Diavolo:

You've chosen a fate worse than death at the cost of sassing a pure man

He gets upset but is very understanding, it's his companions who will handle your fate

I honestly, CANNOT, think of a reason you'd want to be sassy or rude to him

If it's just in general and not meant to offend him; he thinks it's very attractive

You've got a silver tongue and able to make a comment without much thought

Very impressive

His type is Lucifer very simple

You'd call him out for letting dangerous behaviour happen at the school and putting loads of faith into Lucifer

Perhaps point out how reckless inviting humans to a demon realm - who could easily be killed if they don't have an escort with them at all times

But other than that? He's safe

Barbatos:

He is your executioner

He can handle a jab

But he will remind you he was the one who saved you if you get too out spoken with him

that only gets him more cussed out though

"So you're aware of pretty much every event that happens, Right?"

"You could say that."

"Then shouldn't you use those abilities to then help anyone and stop all sorts of tragedies?"

"My Lord has stopped me from using my powers freely."

OKAY THAT'S SOMETHING YOU CAN CUSS DIA OUT ON

In general, you just make comments about how vague he is

He's too mysterious that it's just ridiculous

You want to get to know him but he just gives you that smug look and amused laughter

Solomon:

Can you really be blamed for being Sus of him?

He's so suspicious, for what?! For what reason?!

He doesn't like being called old? Depending how disrepectful you wanna be, you like to use the nickname "Grandpa Solo"

"I'm surprised you aren't actually some evil Wizard trying to get the brothers pacts so you can be the most powerful human alive and take over the Devildom."

"Who says I'm not?"

He's witty and smug

You're sassy and explosive

You're a duo that should be feared

The two powerful humans banding together? I'm sure there's a website on the two of you with theories of your evil plans

Simeon:

Finds your attitude delightful!

Didn't want his kindness to annoy you but it did, sometimes it is a crime to be Too nice

His favoured company are all sassy bastards so it only makes sense he likes you very much

"You gave them bangles that made them into SAINTS! that's fucking weird! And you had them turn into angels despite the fact they have truama from heaven!"

as mischievous as Simeon can be

His angelic nature really does pop out alot

"aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you want to go ape-shit?"

"Of course not, there's no need but thank you for worrying about me, I know I can seem force and strange to you but I really do enjoy being kind to others."

"disgusting."

Almost fought him during the TSL event; you didn't expect him to do a 360 and become super strict

Despite your hard shell you care alot about the people you're close with and can't stand to see them upset

Luke:

It appears you're trying to throw hands with a 10 year old

He does seem demonphobic

Why are you always denying your true feeling??!! Just admit you like demons!

You try not to swear and be outwardly rude Infront of him

But sometimes this little boy really tests your patience

"Okay species-ist."

Is your main response when he's being a tsundere

He's the one who's the safest from your attitude

[helloalycia]

The Wrong Lifetime – Five // Wanda Maximoff

chapter four | story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | chapter six

author’s note: dying of cramps but didn’t wanna leave y’all hanging, so enjoy! x

Taking Wanda to Blackpool was something I couldn't stop thinking about for the past three days.

I kept telling myself that I had to remain calm, not make her feel uncomfortable with my obvious attraction to her, and to give her the best day out considering she'd never been before. It wasn't anything more than a girl spending time with her soon-to-be sister-in-law, and I had to keep reminding myself that whenever I'd feel a stir of desire in my chest at the thought her pretty smile or intoxicating gaze.

My family were thrilled when they heard of my plans with Wanda. My parents were glad I was actually making an effort to get on with her, whilst my brother was excited I was becoming 'best friends', as he put it, with his fiancé. That one stung a little, the guilt pricking my insides, but I convinced myself that that was exactly what I was doing. It wasn't wrong if I didn't think of Wanda in any way but what she was. Right?

The weekend came around quickly enough, and on Saturday morning, I met with Wanda at the train station where she waiting for me with an enthusiastic smile.

"I brought my watercolours and sketchbook so I can paint what's there," she explained as we boarded the train. "I also bought a lot of pencils in case some snap. I'm gonna draw everything I see so I don't forget a single thing."

We slid into our seats and I smiled with admiration as she continued to ramble about all of the things she wanted to do today. She looked so lively when she spoke, her hands moving about frantically to express her excitement, and her lips permanently etched into a smile when she wittered on. I didn't mean to stare, but God, she looked beautiful.

"Thank you again for doing this," she finished, head turning to mine.

Now, I'd read and written many clichés of someone falling for someone else, particularly the moment they knew they were too far gone. It was hard to believe if they were true depictions of liking someone, but I liked reading and writing them.

It was now that I learnt that they were no exaggeration, for when she looked my way with a beaming smile and glowing green eyes, I knew it was too late. There was no going back for my attraction to Wanda.

"No need to thank me," I spoke slowly, surprised I could speak at all since she'd knocked the breath from my lungs. "I'm glad you're excited."

The journey was a few hours long and we made conversation the whole way. It was the longest I'd spent alone with her since meeting her and I was intrigued by everything she had to say, hanging onto every word with all of my attention. If that wasn't enough, her accent only made everything she said sound so much better. She was naturally soft-spoken, but syllables rolled off her tongue in a silky, raspy way with her accent entwined in her words. I loved it.

At one point, the topic of our families came up and I felt like my brother came up in almost every conversation I'd had with anyone who discussed family, so I took this as my opportunity to get to know hers instead.

"What's it like to have a twin?" I asked, leaning on my elbow as I watched her attentively.

She mirrored my action playfully, though answered my question. "It's just like having a normal sibling, except they're way more annoying."

I smiled, imaging just how annoying Pietro could be as a sibling.

"I love Pietro, but he's very frustrating at times," she spoke with a hint of endearment. "He constantly throws it in my face that's he's older than me by twelve minutes. As if that makes a difference."

A chuckle flew from my lips as she pouted at her own words.

"But he's also my best friend," she said with a sigh, like that fact was irritating in itself. "He knows me better than anyone and he's the easiest person for me to talk to. I don't have to hide anything from him." She paused, glancing upwards in thought. "Well, almost anything."

Pursing my lips, I wondered what she meant as she mumbled the last part, but didn't question it. Everyone was entitled to their secrets.

"So, you and your family moved to England when you were kids, right?" I tried to recall what my parents had told me of them. "From Sokovia."

"Yes, we were about..." She scrunched up her nose as she tried to remember. "Eight years old, I think?"

"Wow, that's young," I realised.

She hummed in agreement, smile fading as her eyes fell to her hands. "Yeah... I don't remember much, but there was a lot of unrest at the time. A war. It was dangerous for everyone and my parents were lucky to get us out when they did."

I frowned, knowing some of this already, but it was sadder to hear when it was coming from Wanda herself.

"Our extended family didn't make it out," she continued to explain, voice quieter. "I didn't know them much, my parents' siblings, so it's not that sad for me. Pietro, too. But it's strange to think, you know? Especially when all of your family are around with this wedding and–" She sighed, shaking her head and looking to me with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bring the mood down."

I straightened up, reassuring her instantly. "Wanda, you don't need to apologise. It's okay. I... I didn't know any of that. I'm glad you told me."

She nodded, though the regret was still present in her gaze.

"I'm sorry all of that happened," I expressed honestly, not looking away. "But I'm glad you're here, if it makes a difference. You– your family are good people."

A small, appreciative smile graced her lips. "Thank you."

I shrugged, trying to brush it off so she wouldn't notice the heat rising up my neck. "It's nothing... so Sokovia. You speak Russian and English. That's pretty bloody cool."

She laughed wholeheartedly and any hint of sadness disappeared from her face, reassuring me completely. I didn't like to see her sad, especially when there was nothing I could do to make her feel better that I knew of.

"I promise to teach you some Russian today," she said with amusement. "A few words, just to diversify your vocabulary."

"Gee, thanks."

Another laugh escaped her and I chewed on my lip to contain my grin. I could get used to that sound.

—

When we reached Blackpool, Wanda was radiating with excitement. We couldn't make it two steps anywhere before she whipped out her sketchbook and began to sketch. She wasn't kidding when she said she was going to capture everything she saw.

I was patient, since the reason we came was for her, and watched as she worked. It was cute, seeing her concentrate and trying to stop dancing around with excitement every time I showed her something new.

We walked along the promenade and dipped in and out of the shops, looking at the gifts and clothes they sold. We bought a few things to commemorate the trip, but then Wanda was quick to drag me back outside so she could sketch the view of the beach from where we were stood. The grin on her face was convincing enough for me to let her drag me wherever she wanted. She looked so happy and I didn't care about anything else.

Eventually, around lunchtime, we headed to a café to have a break from all the excitement. Or rather, a break from running around. For Wanda, it was a better opportunity to sit still and sketch some more.

"So, you're drinking what, Y/N?" she asked, not looking up from her sketches as she worked.

I looked at my tea and lowered the cup. "Er, tea?"

"In Russian," she instructed.

"Oh." I cleared my throat, remembering what she taught me earlier. "Chay."

"And what's in the chay?" she asked, lifting her eyes to meet mine patiently. "The milk?"

"Moloko," I remembered, and the proud smile on her face reassured me I was correct. My shoulders relaxed as I returned her smile. "Thanks."

"You're a natural," she assured me, before looking back to her sketchbook. "I only taught you the words. You remembered it yourself. And before you know it, ty budesh' govorit' polnymi predlozheniyami na russkom."

My mouth opened with confusion, not knowing what she said. She seemed to realise as she chuckled at my expression.

"Never mind, milaya (darling)," she said with humoured eyes, before resuming her sketching.

I breathed out, taking another sip of my tea before grabbing a fork to dig into my pasta. As I chewed, I watched Wanda move her pencil effortlessly, creating lines that somehow resulted in a perfect drawing of the horizon.

"Do you only draw and paint landscapes?" I asked curiously.

"I can do portraits, too," she answered with a nod, glancing at me. "But they're never as good."

I gave her a knowing look. "I doubt that."

She merely smiled in response, eyes meeting mine for a moment, before shaking her head with amusement and looking back to her sketches. I chuckled, leaving her to it as I enjoyed my lunch and read the newspaper.

It was nice to just sit and enjoy each other's company as we did our own thing. I'd occasionally glance up to see Wanda focused on her drawing and smile, allowing myself to appreciate the sight, before looking back down to the paper and enjoying my pasta.

By the time I finished my food, as had Wanda, she straightened up and tore a page from her sketchbook. The noise pulled me from my reading and I looked up to see her holding the paper towards me.

I quirked a brow, but she simply shook the paper, signalling for me to take it. With confusion, I took it and became speechless when I saw what she'd drawn. It was me reading the paper, the exact view she must have had from being sat opposite me. It looked exactly like me, probably better since I knew I didn't look that good, and I was amazed at her talent all over again.

"You did this just now?" I asked with disbelief, looking up at her.

She shrugged and distracted herself with her pencil. "Yeah, it's not much. It's not my specialty."

I scoffed. "You're kidding. Wanda, this is amazing!"

Bashful smile on her lips, she glanced up at me. "Maybe it's the best portrait I've done. But I think that's down to my subject."

Even when she was embarrassed, she was still capable of turning the tables on me, leaving me a flustered mess. It was like her superpower. A very annoyingly cute superpower.

"That's what you look like y'know," she continued, nodding to the paper in my hand. "When you're focused on reading. You chew your lip with thought. And you get this little crease–" she pointed between her brows with a laugh, "–right here, and you seem to forget that anything else exists."

A sweet smile spread on her face as she tilted her head, watching me with intimidating eyes, very much aware of the effect her words had on me.

"You're very observant," I said, trying not to stutter, her gaze making me nervous. "Perfect skill for an artist."

She hummed in agreement, though didn't look away. "Mere artistic observation, right?"

My heart was hammering in her chest the longer she stared, especially when her words dawned on me. I'd said the exact same thing after she confronted me about picking her ring. I wondered if she could hear my heart pounding in my ears.

Just like the first time I saw her, I was at a loss for words and couldn't look away. She was compelling, beautiful and remarkable all at once.

—

"Nebo," I said, hoping it was the correct word for 'sky' in Russian, as Wanda had taught me.

She grinned. "Yes! And horizon?"

I pulled a face as I thought carefully. "Er...gorizont?"

"The student is soon to become the master," she said, and I rolled my eyes, knowing that was anything but the truth. I appreciated her encouragement though.

"Okay, before we head to the beach, we have to buy some rock," I told her, leading her to the stall on the promenade. "I got it last time and it's so good."

She furrowed her brows. "What's that?"

I smiled at her expression. "It's a sweet. Kind of like boiled sugar that's formed into a stick of, well, rock."

She didn't seem convinced. "If you say it's good, I trust you, I guess..."

I laughed, grabbing her hand and tugging her to the stall. "You'll love it."

After getting two sticks of rock for Wanda and I, we began to walk to the sand. I glanced at the brunette, wanting to see her reaction. She eyed the hard candy before attempting to bite it, a small piece breaking off at the top. Crunching on it, she scrunched her nose up.

"It's hard," she noted, swallowing the piece. "Tasty, though."

"It's better if you suck on it, love," I let her know with a hidden smile. "Tastes much better."

She did as I said, beginning to suck on the top, and seemed to enjoy it more. Giving me a thumbs up as she sucked it, I couldn't help but laugh again. She looked adorable, so I left her to it and did the same as we walked along the sand and towards the benches in the distance.

Like a child experiencing something for the first time, she began to point excitedly at Blackpool Tower and the ferris wheel in the distance and I just kept nodding along, letting her get excited because it made my heart skip a beat every time she flashed me a smile.

When we reached the benches, I was glad that today wasn't a busy day. It wasn't exactly tourist season, so the beach was scarce of anyone but residents of the town. And even then, our side of the beach was pretty empty, giving us first dibs on a bench that wasn't broken or uncomfortable.

Settling on it, Wanda pulled her legs up and sat cross-legged so she could lean on them and pull out her watercolours. I sat beside her and leaned back, inhaling the salty air and exhaling peacefully. I never had much reason to visit here apart from when my parents took my brother and I on the occasional trip, but it was nice to appreciate the sound of the ocean washing over the sand and the seagulls squawking in the sky. A big difference compared to back home.

Another silence formed between us as she painted the water ahead, and I couldn't help but glance her way, watching her pucker her lips with concentration. All she'd wanted was this and I was glad I could finally give it to her.

So she wouldn't notice, I looked away and stared out at the blue expanse of ocean before me. I should have been appreciating its beauty, but all I could think about was how it was no contest to the girl sat beside me.

"I'm really glad you brought me here today," she said out of the blue after a while, "but I wouldn't have said yes if I'd known you would be bored."

I looked to her and saw she was still preoccupied by her painting. "I'm not bored. We came here so you could see the water and find some new subjects to paint. And that's exactly what we're doing."

She sighed, looking up at me with a questioning glance.

Smiling reassuringly, I said, "I like the quiet. And I like watching you work. You look happy. It's good to see."

She tensed her jaw, stifling a smile, but her eyes said it all. She was grateful. Of course, her eyes were also very easy to get lost in, even if she didn't mean for me to. And right now, under the sun, I found myself drowning in pools of blue.

"What are you thinking?" she asked quietly, a hint of a smile on her face.

Stupidly, I felt compelled to tell her the truth. "I'm thinking about how you have really pretty eyes."

Attempting to make me flustered yet again, her favourite hobby by now I was guessing, she raised a brow teasingly. "Oh, really?"

It didn't bother me this time though, as I maintained eye contact and felt my heart swelling with adoration. "Yes. It's like you hold all the elements in a single gaze."

Her smile faded and that's when I realised what I'd said, my heart dropping to my stomach in an instant. Swallowing hard, I looked away and shook my head. An apology was waiting on the tip of my tongue when she spoke with realisation.

"It was you."

I glanced her way nervously. "What was?"

She was staring like her mind was working something out and I was the missing piece. "The letter that Y/B/N gave me last week. He wrote the exact same thing. What you just said."

My brows knitted together with confusion, then it hit me. The love letter Y/B/N wrote. The one he assured me was for his own eyes. He'd given it to her. And I'd just gone and said the exact thing he'd written on it, no doubt passing it off as is his own words.

"Th–that wasn't me," I got out, shaking my head slowly. "I didn't even know he gave you a letter, Wanda."

She continued to watch me, eyes squinting with scepticism. I swallowed hard under her gaze, trying to think of how I could come back from this. But apparently I didn't have to, because she suddenly leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine.

My mind was foggy when her fingers rested behind my neck, tugging me closer. I closed my eyes, melting at her touch, and began to kiss her back, moving my lips against hers. She was slow and gentle with me, her lips as soft as they looked and sending the butterflies in my stomach into a frenzy. I could have kissed her forever and been content, but my brain finally caught up to my actions and I reluctantly pulled away, stunned.

Glancing around to make sure nobody saw us – there was literally nobody here – I caught my breath and looked back to Wanda. Her eyes were drawn to my lips before they flickered to meet mine, darkened with desire.

"Why did you do that?" was all I could think to ask, and I was acutely aware of her fingers still grasping my neck, the skin burning where her tips grazed.

She licked her swollen lips, expression softening. "I think I've been falling for the wrong Y/L/N."

My lips pressed together, missing the feeling of hers against them. Never in a million years did I expect her to say something like that. I thought she'd been teasing me this whole time, but now, maybe there was truth to her actions.

"Did you really mean what you said?" she asked apprehensively.

"What?"

She swallowed. "What you said about my eyes. Did you mean it?"

Well, she'd kissed me, so there was no going back now.

I nodded, noticing the hesitance in her eyes. "Yes... you're beautiful, Wanda."

She didn't say anything and the silence was deafening. I almost wanted to run back home and pretend this never happened, but that was the cowardly side of me. The other side, the disbelieving side, wanted to stay here with her and keep living in this little bubble we'd created.

"Can I kiss you again?" she finally spoke, eyes flickering between mine for confirmation.

Not trusting myself to speak, I nodded slowly, and she didn't waste another second as she leaned in once again. This time, I wasn't so surprised, so I kissed her back quickly, trying not to think about how wrong this was. How I'd been taught that this was wrong. Because I refused to believe this was wrong, that it was a sin, when it felt so damn right.

Wanda felt right.

—

When I got home later that afternoon, I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

Wanda was all that was on my mind. Everything about her was floating around up there – the contagiousness of her smile, the brightness of her eyes, the taste of her lips. When I left this morning, I wasn't expecting to return with– well, I wasn't sure what we were, but we'd decided to give whatever this was a go.

Of course, she was still engaged to my brother, but I tried not to think about that. She made me happy and maybe in a different lifetime we could have been together, but this was the wrong lifetime which meant I'd have to make some wrong decisions, this possibly being one of them.

The guilt was still present, but the adoration I had for Wanda overpowered it. The fact that she actually liked me back was too thrilling for me to even concern myself with the lack of future this relationship would have. I just wanted to enjoy what we had whilst we had it, even if it meant being together in secret.

"So, how did your trip go?" my mum asked me when I returned, looking up from her knitting.

I stifled my grin the best I could. "It was fun. Wanda loved the seaside."

My mother seemed pleased as she smiled my way. "Y/N, that's great. You know, I'm really proud of you for making an effort with her. It means a lot to everyone."

"Mhm."

"She's going to be your sister-in-law after all," she continued knowingly, "so it's good you're spending time with her. Maybe you could do it more."

I hummed in agreement, my heart fluttering at the possibility of spending more time with Wanda. "Yeah, that could be good."

"Go on upstairs, you must be tired from the travelling," she said after a moment, noticing my distant headspace. "I'm glad you had fun today."

Wanda's smile appeared in my mind again, her lips ghosting my own. I sighed contently.

"Me, too."

[fandomvariousness]

you wouldn't want me to pt. 2

pt. 1 -> x

pairing: eren jaeger x reader

warnings: blood, mentions of death, cheating, smut: dub-con, mild masochism, dacryphilia, choking, creampie, size kink, overstimulation

request: "pleaseee a part two to "you wouldn't want me to" with the smut"

word count: 2.9k

a/n: ayo i'm team armin but boyeee sometimes it feels nice to digress ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

“We’ll stop here for the night.” you heard Eren command someone, and the carriage stopped.

They covered your eyes and tied your hands behind your backs, so even while you sat huddled next to Armin you couldn’t wrap your hands around him, and neither could he.

You heard steps come into the carriage, followed by a set of rough hands that led you off. Judging by the grass under your feet, you figured the whole caravan stopped at one of the cottages for the night. Once the grass turned into the parquet of the cottage, an alarm rang in your head, realizing that whoever’s leading you isn’t stopping.

“Wait,” you breathed out quietly, all your anger being replaced by panic. “Armin?”

“Y/N!” you heard his voice somewhere behind you.

Judging by the commotion and the wave of swears and slurs, everyone was being stuffed into solitary rooms.

“Stop, stop!” you yelled, your anger coming back, feet stubbornly pushing against the ground. “Armin!” you yelled again, roughly jerking your frame in hopes of getting away.

“No Armin,” your captor whispered in your ear. “just me.”

Your face sank at the realization that it’s him. Even though your heart fluttered, just for a second, making you hate yourself for it, the odium seeped into your blood the very instant you heard his voice.

"You, little –" you didn't get to finish your slur as he pushed you into the room, shutting the door locked behind him.

You stumbled on your feet, the moment of misbalance bringing you down to the hard ground with a dull thud.

You were so angry that you still tried to squirm out of your bindings, just so that you could have a chance to strangle him with your own hands. You felt him approaching as you huffed and panted angrily in your efforts, feeling the eye band and rope binding your wrists come off.

You squinted from the sudden painful contact with the lamplight, rubbing your sore wrists.

“I could really kill you right now,” you spoke with a trembling voice. “I fucking hate you, Eren.”

The anger was manifesting in a form of hot tears that threatened to spill down your cheeks any moment; you hated the way you’d cry once infuriated.

You hated it, but Eren fucking loved it. He took a discreet deep breath to quench the feeling that arose upon seeing your glassy eyes, the sight going straight to his dick. He loved seeing you so conflicted with your feelings, especially when he's the culprit.

"Always wanted to hear you say that," he said with a smug smile that you wanted to wipe off with a slap so bad.

And so that’s what you did. You huffed in anger and closing the space between the two of you with a couple of steps, sent a dry slap across his cheek.

His eyes shut closed as his head turned to the side, a shiver running through his body, orange pre-shifting sparks flying around his head like a halo.

“Do that again and see what happens.” Eren liked what you did to him, but he wanted to frighten you into thinking he would shift.

You gulped, trying to hide your rising panic, as you let your burning palm hang limply beside you.

“What,” you breathed out, carefully calculating your next words. “you’re going to shift and kill everyone inside, even your beloved minions?”

He barely reacted, except for his eyes running over your body, making you realize just how close you two are standing to each other.

“Not before I have something I want.”

You exhaled curtly as you looked down, trying to escape the hazy feeling that was gradually clouding over your mind.

“Eren, unlock the –” he interrupted you by gripping your chin between his thumb and index finger, forcing you to look into his bottle-green eyes.

“Don’t tell me you’ve never wondered what it would feel like.”

You felt your face heating as you failed to control your emotions. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He smiled smugly again just before he claimed your lips with his, sucking your soul out. His hand rested dangerously low on your hip, teasing you with the possibility of gripping it tighter at any moment.

“Stop,” you muttered in between the kisses. “Eren, stop!” you shoved him away, all flustered, turning around and steeping towards the window to gaze at the night sky that was just starting to appear.

You panted heavily as the realization of what just happened was sinking into you.

“How can you do this to Armin?” you asked, trying to refrain your trembling voice from breaking completely. “To me?”

He chuckled quietly, revealing his stance just behind you. “I’m going to die soon anyway.”

You hated when they did that. You hated when either Eren or Armin spoke about the fact that they only have a few years left to live. In fact, you hated it so much you forbade them to even speak about it. Even if Eren is not exactly in your good graces right now, you still hated it.

You unclenched your burning fists in an attempt to compose yourself.

“You may disappear, but your actions won't," you said as you turned around to face him.

"I don't care about that," he said nonchalantly. "Hell, Armin's going to go shortly after I do, so you shouldn't even think about the consequences – we will both be dead."

You bit your lip so hard upon hearing the mention of Armin’s impending death you may have drawn blood. You snapped again as you sent your palm flying across his face, but this time he immediately turned his face back and crushed his lips on your bloody ones.

You whined at the tingling of the tiny wound where you bit your lip, droplets of blood staining Eren’s own lips. His palms squeezed your buttocks, bringing your centers together; you gasped as you felt his semi-hard tent against you.

You withdrew from him like a whimpering mess, pushing your dainty palms at his chest to refrain him from connecting your lips again. You turned around in panic and saw your blurry reflection in the window, both of your lips stained with the crimson of your blood.

You yelped briefly as you felt his hands on your hips again, his heavy breathing tickling your skin when he leaned his face towards the crook of your swan-like neck.

“Just this once,” he breathed out, giving a brief slip to his own desperation. “and then I’ll go. I’ll leave you all alone.”

You trembled as you struggled to make a decision: your body already made one, relishing at the feeling of his front against your back, of his stealthy, barely traceable grinding against your frame, but your mind tried so hard to resist.

His hands were roaming all over your body, quite literally driving you insane: the way his palm ran up and down your thigh, the other appreciating the curve of your waist before sneaking its way under your white uniform shirt – it made you moan quietly, realizing that your mind had already lost.

“Did you really never wonder how it would feel like with me?” he whispered smokily.

Of course, you did. You never missed the way his thumb would stroke over your skin whenever he would get the chance to place his hand on your shoulder, you never missed the feeling you got when his eyes would linger on you for a bit too long – all of it burned into your mind.

You were somewhere else entirely as your eyes fluttered closed, head leaning back against his frame; his hand came to cup your breast, gently massaging it, melting your whole stance into a puddle.

As you failed to answer, having lost yourself in a sensual mass of his touches, you felt his hand grip the base of your neck. “Did you?”

Your eyes shot open as the force of his grip grew stronger, making you grasp his hand for some sort of leverage.

“Huh?” he repeated.

"I did." You confessed.

You didn’t see it, but you knew Eren grinned widely against your neck just before he pecked it. “Of course you did.”

His hand retreated from your neck as he gripped your hips, pressing you against the window-sill. “Did you sometimes think about me when you were doing it with Armin?”

You felt tears prickle at the corners of your eyes as you realized this was too much to admit.

“Eren,” you shook your head in protest.

Eren loved seeing you squirm, he loved torturing you like that, and he wasn’t going to stop. He snuck his hand to cup your burning center, making you cry out and shiver at the needed contact.

“I bet you almost cried out my name accidentally a couple of times, didn’t you? Just like you did now?”

You sobbed quietly, but Eren brushed his tongue against your ear, turning it into a broken moan mid-way. “Say it again, say my name.”

You didn’t realize how your hips rolled against Eren’s hand massaging your warm, slick center; he controlled you as a puppeteer controls his puppet, and you knew it all too well.

“Eren,” you moaned genuinely.

“Shit,” Eren spat out as your mewling went directly to his painfully hard dick.

You choked at the sensation of his fingers sneaking under your panties, coming through your slick folds and finding the little pearlet of pleasure.

“Yes, yes,” you whimpered as he returned the other hand to your breast.

Eren was losing control rapidly, but he wanted to toy with you just a bit more – he probably wouldn’t get another chance.

“Want me to fill you up?” he knew that it was immensely hard for you to admit that you actually want him, and so he purposely pushed you down this guilt trip.

Your eyebrows knitted together out of inner turmoil, but you nodded. “Yes, I do, Eren, please –”

You were an absolute whimpering mess, struggling to weave a proper sentence together, voice broken and trembling – you just wanted him to fill you and ease the sexual tension that would always follow you two.

He chuckled against your cheek as he worked his way with your pants, pushing them down below your ass, cool air hitting your skin and sending a wave of shivers. “To think you were so reluctant before.”

Oh, you still were, in a sense. You knew guilt is going to consume you after, but you cannot control yourself anymore. It’s just the effect that Eren has on people, on you.

You leaned your palms against the edge of the window-sill, anticipating the breach, shallow breaths leaving patches of mist on the glass that would disappear in a moment.

“Ah,” you yelped cutely and rested your heated forehead against the cool glass as you felt Eren’s tip against your slick entrance.

His hand weaved itself around your neck in protest and leaned you back closer to him, bending your spine into a beautiful arch. He ran his other hand up and down your stretched stomach as he eased himself into you, coaxing out a series of broken moans from your mouth.

“Fuck,” you yelped in a high-pitched voice, holding on to that window-sill for dear life.

“So tight, so tight,” Eren whispered to himself, lost in his own bliss as his head hung low on your shoulder.

You yelped in pain as he was approaching your cervix. “W-Wait, ah, it’s too—too—”

“It’s what, baby?” his fingers dug into your hips, bringing you down on his dick a bit further. “What?”

"Too—ah, fuck—too big!" you cried.

You were ashamed of yourself that you enjoyed his dick tearing you apart that much, but you couldn't lie to yourself in this state, not anymore; it's like you're a whole other person.

Eren’s dick twitched inside you at your word. “Bigger than Armin’s, yeah?”

You nodded curtly, doing anything to ease away the dull ache and the guilt that was tickling somewhere at the back of your head. “Yeah,”

He ran his tongue along the vertical curve of your neck, starting to move steadily.

You kept your mouth open as you were even struggling to breathe, Eren's presence consuming the whole of you. You bent your hand backward and ran your fingers through the back of his head, loosening the bun he’s weaved his hair into.

“Faster,” you commanded, catching Eren by surprise. “Please, Eren,”

The sound of you begging for him drove him feral. He wanted to fuck your brains out, but he knew he won’t have another chance to relish in you like that – slowly, sensually, lovingly.

“Patience, baby,” he said to you and to himself at the same time. “Mm, you feel so good.”

The room was rapidly filled with both of your moans as Eren pounded into you rhythmically. His hand snuck to rest on your lower stomach, feeling his own tip stretching your insides.

“Wanted to have you for so long," Eren let his thoughts slip up; he enjoyed destroying you like this, but he failed to consider his own weaknesses coming to the surface. "Could never get you out of my head."

His own confessions were like a catalyst to your approaching release, which was threateningly close now.

“Ah, Eren, I’m gonna cum, I’m cumming,”

You screamed so loud he had to cover your mouth with his palm – he wouldn’t want others to condemn you for doing this for the reasons they don’t even understand. Eren himself was close, so close – but there was one more thing he wanted to do.

“Feel good? Yeah?” Eren questioned, containing his own release with all his will, still pounding into you. “Give me another, baby.” His hand reached down to your oversensitive clit.

“Wait, Eren, I just came, I—” you choked, tears welling up in your eyes from overstimulation; yet it felt so good.

“Shh, you can take it,” he cajoled.

It didn’t take long for him to give you another orgasm, not at all – all it took was a few circular strokes with the right amount of pressure, and you came clenching around his dick again, this time covering your mouth with your own palms. Eren buried his head in your disheveled hair as he groaned out in pleasure, bursting deep inside you.

“Fuck,” he blabbered, eyes closed, feeling your shivering, fragile frame falling apart in front of him. He tried not to think too much about the fact that he came inside you, the act contradicting his beliefs and plans.

His hands came snaking around your waist, pulling you closer gently, planting a few kisses on the top of your head. "You did so well."

You couldn’t say a word as you pulled your pants up before you turned around to face him, seeing him buttoning his own.

Something came onto you as you cupped his face and kissed him gently. Now that really did take Eren by surprise.

“What was that for?” he asked quietly after a moment of silence.

You shrugged. “Just felt like kissing you.”

He suppressed a smile as he leaned his palms against the window-sill, trapping you in between his hands, your noses almost brushing. “You won’t be too pissed with me now, will you?”

You raised an eyebrow. “You said it yourself, you’ll die soon, so why do you care?”

"Clever", thought Eren as he continued exploring the pools of your glistening eyes. He withdrew slowly, towering over you as he took your chin between his thumb and index finger, just like he did before. He ran his thumb over a little patch of dried blood from when you bit your lip.

You almost gasped at the absence of his touch when he released you altogether, making his way to the door, unlocking it; you remained in your place, watching him closely, trying to stop him with nothing but your gaze.

He did stop, even though only momentarily. He had already opened the door as he turned his head back to take you in – face still heated, chest rising up and down, hair tousled, gaze… longing?

Something tingled deep inside his chest at the thought that he could’ve had you as his own if the circumstances were different, much different. If only he wasn’t so heavily burdened and consumed by eternal hatred.

He snapped out of his momentary ominous trance.

“Sleep well, Y/N.” he closed the door without another word, locking you from the outside.

Once he was gone, you allowed yourself to exhale properly. You gulped, making your way to the bathroom. You turned on the tap and plugged the bath, letting yourself sob loudly as you remove your clothes.

You didn't want to wash his touches from your skin, but at the same time, you had to – how are you going to face Armin afterward?

Yet the guilt mainly came from the absence of it – no matter how sure and scared you were that it's going to consume you afterward, it didn't.

You don’t want to lose neither Armin nor Eren, and you’re going to do everything in your power to hold on to them both for as long as you can, for as long as they walk the same soil as you.

[epicene-humanoid]

some trans Jeff thoughts:

he realized he was trans in elementary school and just went fuck it I'll just start introducing myself as Jeffery and see if anyone decides to stop me (as we know, jeff winger can get away with almost anything)

he got top surgery the second he could afford it (around the same time he started at his law firm), and probably bribed someone to keep it a secret

"I'm jeff winger and i would rather look at myself naked than the women I sleep with" are the words of a man proud of his transition

he's really insecure about his fashion sense, which is why he mostly dresses like the douchey guys at his firm in the start of the show, he thought you can't go wrong with the sleazy lawyer look

he will never admit it but he feels super good about the dean hitting on him, because the dean is a (cis) guy, acknowledging that Jeff is more manly than him

i think he starts out stealth and comes out to everyone one by one, probably starting with abed because he knows abed won't judge him and will probably just see it as an interesting backstory.

abed just says it's cool and maybe worth a prequel exploring Jeff's transition, and jeff asks him to predict how all of the members of the group will react to him coming out.

abed's predictions:

britta will be over-the-top supportive and do a ton of research about trans history, probably put together a slideshow just to prove how progressive she is, and jeff will be a little bit weirded out, but also touched that she did all that for him, though he would never let her know that

shirley will be confused, because she doesn't know how someone she trusts and knows so well could be part of a group she was raised to hate, but ultimately realizes that there's nothing actually against the lgbtq people in the bible, and, as a cool character development arch, starts to advocate against use of the bible to justify bigotry

troy will just think it over and decide that Jeff's physique and coolness are even awesomer knowing how much work he'd had to put in to be like that, and respects Jeff's manliness even more

annie will give him a hug, say something sweet about how she'll always love him, and worry about his health, because even she read somewhere that taking testosterone makes you more likely to have a heart attack, jeff will explain that the risk is still only as high a cis guy, and she'll be the one to always remind him to take his shots

peirce will say at best say "jeff winger used to be a chick?" and at worst call him a slur, either way there's sure to be a lot of misgendering from him, and pestering to know Jeff's deadname (needless to say, Jeff just doesn't tell peirce)

the whole group goes out of their way to keep their beach trips a secret from pierce (the girls don't want him there anyways, he's too liable to be creepy) even though jeff knows that even if pierce saw his scars, all he would have to do is make up a story about some childhood accident and pierce would never question it

sorry this ended up being super long. can I hear some of your headcanons for him?

YES ALL THIS!!! yes yes i’m fully accepting this as canon oh my god

i’m about to type a whole ass ESSAY at midnight because i have been DYING to talk about this for months ajfdksljk,,, this is going to be obscenely long and i might end up adding even more to it as i continue to rewatch the show because there is truly no shortage of trans jeff content (especially when you’re trans and see transness in every little thing ajdkslfkjs)

spoiler warning for literally everything about this show under the cut <3

i 100% agree, i feel like he realized he was trans super young, especially since in the show we see him as a little kid a couple of times. 

like look at little jeff with the oversized sweatshirt and little ponytail!! that’s childhood trans fashion. not to be dramatic but part of me thinks that jeff’s dad left before he fully came out to his family (which gives him even more angst about it, because until that one Thanksgiving episode, he’s never able to prove to his dad that he’s a better man), but part of me thinks that his dad left after he came out (which adds that spicy i-should-have-stayed-in-the-closet guilt that he has to work through). 

either way, because his dad wasn’t there, he had to base his concept of masculinity on something else, which was becoming a lawyer!! there’s some line that’s like “after the dust and divorce papers were settled the only man i looked up to was [the lawyer guy]”. like, replacing your father figure in your mind with the concept of “a job where you can talk your way in and out of anything and distort other people’s concept of reality”? that’s trans.

 and the fucking THANKSGIVING EPISODE... i struggle to watch it without crying hehe <3 yeowch! the dichotomy of willy jr. being the “wrong” kind of man because he’s “too soft” but jeff also not being enough despite adhering to all the social standards of masculinity... fuck!! this whole scene of him telling his dad “i am Not well adjusted” and talking about how he gave himself an “appendix surgery scar” when he was a kid and he still keeps the get-well-soon letters from his classmates under his bed? oh my god. the implication of people loving him not despite his scars but because of them?? trans. i can’t think about this episode for too long or i’ll start yelling.

OH and this scene? where he talks about how his mom got him a girl costume for halloween?? and everyone said “what a cute little girl” and after a few houses he stopped correcting them?? and “once the shame and the fear wore off, i was just glad they thought i was pretty”?? THAT’S TRANS... the man needs validation oh my god... and then in all the halloween episodes we see he has these ultra-masculine costumes (a cowboy, David Beckham, one of the fast and furious guys even though he never watched the movies, a boxer with his DAD’S boxing gloves... god) costumes are about becoming something else and he always chooses to be hypermasculine and that is trans.

THE PHYSICAL EDUCATION EPISODE!!!!!!! being uncomfortable during P.E. is a queer experience. period. but him being specifically uncomfortable in the clothes someone else is assigning to him? trans. “are we gonna talk about clothes like a girl? or use tapered sticks to hit balls around a cushioned mat like a man?” TRANS. and him eventually stripping in public? celebration of transness. and the fact that he eventually becomes comfortable in both the uniform and his own style!! trans!! god i love this episode. 

AND AND AND!!! the gay dean coming out episode!!! where it’s the three of them discussing the best way for the dean to come out as gay despite not entirely identifying with that label!! so we have both frankie and the dean who are sort of ambiguously queer, and jeff who’s a stealth trans man who’s probably only out to only the study group at this point. this scene where the dean and jeff have this like eyebrow communication while frankie is talking is just so cute. queer-to-queer communication. “I am so curious” “oh?” “intellectually.” “oh...” ajfdksljfk this scene just screams high school GSA to me and i love it so much.

and SPEAKING of the dean!! i totally see you on that. i feel like jeff has some internalized homophobia/biphobia (like he’d throw punches over someone else, but when it comes to himself he has a lot of shame). and also seeing the dean so confident in all his different outfits/costumes has a weird affect on him bc it’s like “okay, the dean, a cis guy, can do that, but i as a trans guy could Not because that’s Breaking the Rules”. which, like, throwback to the halloween thing. of course there’s no right way to be masculine, but mr. winger does not know that.

another thing!! the episode where their emails get leaked? that includes his emails with his therapist. fuck!! he was outed to the whole world in that episode!! no wonder he was so fucking angry!! this whole episode (and really any time he mentions his therapist) is so interesting when you think about them as a person he talks to about his transition. OH which adds to the thing with the dean!! “and you told your therapist you wanted to be alone this weekend” and “not you jeff, i know you’ll be visiting your dad” ”I told you to stop reading my emails”. luckily his study group has his back and just makes fun of him for emailing astronauts lmao

and WHO can forget “they’re giving out an award for most handsome young man!!!!” what else is there to say about this line besides: he’s trans. you know he didn’t get awarded enough for being a handsome young man when he was a kid, and no amount of compliments when he’s fully-grown can really make up for that. some people crash a kid’s bar mitzvah to cope with the fact that they struggled to be seen as themselves when they were a teenager <3

also his weird relationship with pierce? where he kind of hates him (understandably lmao) but at times has this almost-friends-almost-father-son relationship with him? especially in this episode where he’s forced to bond with him and ends up having a good time by accident (at a barber shop no less, the perfect place to Be A Man with your Man Friend). idk what to say about him besides the fact that pierce says his mom wanted a girl when he was born and made him dress like a girl (and his middle name is anastasia!) so if they’re gonna do any bonding over transness it’s gonna be that. 

okay one last thing and then i’ll shut up for the night. this episode kills me (and almost kills jeff hahahahelpi’mcrying). it’s a very Trans thing to not be able to visualize your future self, it just is. growing up trans at the time he did? i don’t know what kind of future he saw for himself, but i’m so happy that he ended up with a group of friends who became his family and love him the way they all do. i’m so emotional over this asshole it’s ridiculous. 

in conclusion:

they’re trans, your honor <3