#'I think I may like-like my best friend' support group

[stanlunter]

Ohh I wanna make it

1. There are many ones, but the best is probably Mockingbird by Eminem. I don't have many "comfortable songs" cuz it's just not my type, but this one is so important and relatable.

2. It's not like there's one show I rewatched many times to comfort myself, but I would name Monster high show and moves lol. They're simple, they're funny, they're not overdramatic. You can relax while watching it and feel nostalgia. Isn't it enough?

3. Reading simply bc I hate writing. I'm bad at it and every time I tried to it... didn't end up well. I don't have any problems with imagination btw, but the process of writing is just impossible for me. Ig prose is just not for me. But lyrics, from the other hand? I like them and sometimes write them when I have nothing else to do. However, still prefer reading.

4. Well, that's hard. Basically just any good feeling. But if I have to choose, probably this feeling when you finished doing something important, see the good results of it and are proud of yourself. Idk how it calls, but it's amazing.

5. Drawing, Ig? Or watching different movies or reading something you planned to read for a long time

6. Hmmmmm...something like cookies or bakery in general I think?

7. The obvious question is myself. The less obvious is my siblings and then my mom

8. I'm not good at fabrics, but let's say cotton

9. When my family and I went to Turkey together. It wasn't the first time I was in Turkey, but it was the first time when the whole family went there. And it was amazing. We found a lot of friends there and were having fun every day. The hotel was really great, the sea was good and everything was perfect

10. I really don't remember, it was long ago. Let's say a month ago? I don't remember the conditions tho

11. My plush toys

12. Either time, or when someone actually tried to make me feel better and gives support

13. I like both, but prefer shower

14. Exams. I just wanna lass them and finally be free!

15. Used to be shakshuka, but now I'm sick of eggs, so I would say lasagna or pasta

16. I would love to start creating comics, custom clothes and custom dolls. Hopefully I'll be able to do these when I'm free

17. Hugs. Or when someone does smth I like to me, knowing I like it. Like cooks smth I love specifically bc they know I love it and etc

18. It was 16, but when I turned 16 it didn't work out so I don't believe in it anymore. I just live how I am without waiting for some specific age to change anything. It should be a gradual process

19. I have written a love lyrics (may be I'll even publish it one day?) to someone I love, but I had no intention to show it to her. I haven't received any love letters tho. If anyone has confessed their feelings to me, it was either verbally or online, no letters

20. There are so many. If I have to pick, I would probably pick my graduation from the 9th grade, because it was the last time I had a great time with my ex friend group. It was really funny and amazing and I miss that time

21. Hot cocoa, absolutely. I love all, but cocoa is the best

22. "Deveyes". That's the only playlist I listen to and at first it supposed to belong to one of my oc, but then it just became my regular playlist

23. Oh yeah, mostly from my parents tho. RN I have a beautiful one in my room btw

24. I have two best friends. Our relationship are completely different, but I cherish them both the same way. The first one is my ex classmate, who's an amazing and very talented beautiful girl I really admire. The other one is a guy I met online, he's really funny and cool, we love making fun of everyone around together and thinking we're the smart people on the Earth huh. Love them both

25. Idk, probably light blue bc it's basic and I don't associate my "soul" with anything specific, I don't even like the concept of the soul

26. Very hard to answer. I would love to move into another country, but at the same time I doubt I could find a more comfortable place. So RN I wouldn't change the place. But I would like to be around my family and my besties

27. No, absolutely not. I dislike gardening. Mostly bc it's hard and bc I associate it with insects and I hate them. However, for some reason I would love to grow a flycatcher just bc they're creepy and interesting

28. Idk if there's anything like this. May be of people on Tiktok liking my edits cuz I never knew I could possibly have almost 30 000 of followers. But I don't think it's something crazy to be proud of. Hopefully I'll have something in the future to be really proud of

29. Huh I don't really like this word, it doesn't seem to be specific enough. I'm a pretty selfish person and don't care much about people I can't relate to. However I usually don't do anything bad, especially not something that hurt anyone, but I don't do good things regularly either. I can help someone time to time, but not intentionally and not very often. Just when I have such possibility and when it wouldn't turn bad for me

30. My hobbies are drawing, reading, watching movies and shows, listening to music, writing lyrics, making edits, collecting, writing analysis posts like in this acc, going to gym. That's basically all

✨soft asks✨

What song makes you feel better?

What is your go to comfort show?

Reading or writing? Why?

Whats your favorite feeling?

How do you like to take care of yourself?

What’s your favorite candle scent?

Who do you feel most like yourself around?

Whats a fabric/texture that’s nostalgic for you?

Best childhood moment?

When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? (or just felt really good afterwards)

Do you have a comfort item? Tell us about it!

What calms you down?

Bath or shower to relax?

Whats something upcoming that you’re excited for?

Comfort food?

What’s something you want to create soon?

How do you feel best loved?

What age in life do you think you’ll feel most yourself at?

Have you ever written or received a love letter?

Tell us about a memory you hold close to your heart.

Tea, Coffee, or hot cocoa?

Name of your favorite playlist?

Have you ever received flowers?

Who is your bestfriend?

If your soul was a color, what would it be?

If you could live anywhere with anyone you want, where would it be and who would you bring?

Do you like to garden? Have you ever grown something?

What are you proudest of?

Are you a kind person?

What do your hobbies look like?

[name-s-are-not-important]

Crowley, lying on the sofa, slowly: And he never understands that I try to pick him up.

Berrigan, sitting next to him, notebook in hand: Have you tried to be more obvious? Or more caring?

Crowley, tired: I've tried everything

Berrigan: Food?

Crowley: Sure, I've cooked for him hundreds of times, I've taken him to the inn for dinner a couple of times, made provisions for the road. I even feed his kids sometimes.

Berrigan: Hmm

Crowley:

Crowley: Ok, it's been a quarter of an hour, move along.

they swap places

Crowley emphatically from above the notebook: And what, dude, you're still acting like it's a school love and just staring at him instead of, I don't know, trying to talk to him?

Berrigan:

Berrigan: I felt attacked, and this was supposed to be a safe space

Crowley, sighs heavily: Never mind, tell me what's new with the song for him. Just please cut out the descriptions of the smile and the eyes because I've had enough, I've really got it, yeah, he's smiling nicely, you can leave that out

Berrigan, a bit offended: Mind to remember that you-

Crowley: Okay, fine, say what you need to say just keep in mind I am the one who needs to be able to look Leander straight in the face in one hour, so...

Berrigan: Straight?

Crowley: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN GET TO THE POINT

[woovalin]

i’m in such disbelief right now and beyond disgusted.

i really hope y’all are choosing your morals over kpop; because we do not know these men at all. i will never side with or defend a predator and a criminal, even with little to no proof. even if there is the smallest chance he may be innocent, i will always believe the victim first.

some of you, as fans of the boys for years and him in general, i know you must be feeling disappointed and betrayed. you’re not dumb for previously supporting him, as we couldn’t have possibly known. but now is the time for a reality check and it’s time to wake up and take a step back. this just goes to show that we know absolutely nothing about them.

for sm to just outright put out a statement on their own before any rumors even surfaced and immediately kick him out? this has to be insanely serious and i’m terrified of what he could’ve done. the crazy thing is with everything currently happening in korea with the telegram situation, and korean women constantly being in danger in general because of the men there, i’m not at all surprised that celebrities are being exposed. sm has protected criminals before, and held onto lucas when his scandal came out as well as other artists who have been exposed for similar crimes. i can’t even imagine the severity of the current situation. we’ve seen what happened with the burning sun, and these men are not immune to being misogynistic, vile human beings.

members have already unfollowed him and deleted posts with him in them; his best friend of 17yrs has unfollowed him. the company taking the initiative and him getting kicked out of the group in less than a second before anything even came out, no denying the claims or even trying to defend him. that should be enough to tell you and understand how serious this actually is. i am beyond disgusted with him and this whole situation.

i sincerely hope the victim is doing okay and praying for them to heal and get the justice they deserve. and remember that your love for these celebrities should always be conditional, because we do not know them. it’s their job to put on a show and show you their public persona, but behind closed doors? we don’t know what they’re actually like. we put them on a pedestal and yet we don’t know what they’re really capable of. they are still men after all. i hope the police are taking this seriously. there needs to be consequences and these women need to be protected.

let this be a lesson to all of us. they don’t know us, and we don’t know them, not really, not at all.

ALWAYS choose morals over these strangers you idolize. and as women, we should be standing with the victims.

maybe not all men, but enough of them. and maybe not all men, but somehow always a man. and going forward, i will continue to support nct as a whole with the remaining members. however, keeping the situation in mind, i will be supporting from afar for a little while. if the situation escalates and other members are investigated and new information comes to light about the rest of them either knowing or possibly being involved, it would be best to step away for good. i will do my best to stay updated. but i do hope the rest of the members are doing okay, and hopefully no other members were involved; but this, just shows that they can always surprise us. you never think it’ll be your fave, until it is.

let’s hope this causes a domino effect and more of these people are exposed and charged for the crimes they’re committing.

sending love to anyone who has ever experienced sexual violence or has been targeted and been in a similar situation. it is not your fault and it never was!

love you all and my dms are always open if you need to vent. <3

❗️EDIT: also i wanna add that we need to not praise the rest of the members or any other celebrity for simply unfollowing him on social media. that is the least of anyone’s worries.

we don’t know if they were aware, we don’t know if they knew and were protecting him or turning a blind eye. it could be them trying to save themselves and clear their guilty conscience. maybe they didn’t know and are just as shocked as we are, we don’t know that either.

we blindly trust these people and believe they have good intentions but look at where that can lead to. fans being upset is valid, yes; but remember people with money and power will do whatever it takes to sweep things under the rug and make it go away in order to save face and keep their image and reputation.

follow-up post here.

[saintshadow]

ALCHEMICAL GOLD:

HOW TO TRANSFORM UR CURRENT SITUATION

↳ a/n: I hope you all enjoy this reading, I’m really trying to work on having more cohesive and attractive layouts for my readings. Feedback would be wonderful! 🩶⚔️

☿ 𝓹𝓲𝓵𝓮 𝓲 ☿

You may be the first of your family or friend group to choose or think differently. Ie; coming from a family of alcoholics and choosing sobriety- coming from a family of abuse, Christianity, Strict//Traditional values & choosing whatever is true to YOU. I sense that people respect this different frame of mind. You have a massive impact on your close ones, I see that maybe in the past it has even led to violent outbursts from friends or family. Perhaps you feel trapped by the circumstances of life, you feel like others cannot comprehend your ideas. It may feel difficult, because there may be part of you that understands your connection to your community or your family is an INHERENT point of your success in spite of the fact they make you feel held back. I’m in tears with this pile, you guys are amazing and I hope you know and feel that. Even if others don’t always acknowledge what you are doing or what you are capable of- deep down they know.

You definitely reincarnated from your bloodline.

Your advice is to stop waiting for approval from your partner, mother, sister, brother, friends, WHOEVER- whoever's approval you're waiting on- they're unfortunately not going to give it to you likely until it's a bit too late. I understand how painful this is for you, and for some I understand that rather than approval someone may have died or passed away- and you are wanting to know that they support you. I see a lot of you are very hopeful for the future, but you're waiting- so patiently and very obediently for something. I heard someone whisper "go" it was a woman's voice, I feel that you are far more powerful than you or anyone else could have anticipated. Maybe you weren't born into the best circumstances- perhaps you almost became a statistic. Take wise action, don't move on pure impulse. You know what you've been wanting to do- so you need to go and do it. For those who feel confused by this pile I feel called to recommend pile 2 to you though I haven't written it yet. With the 7 of Pentacles, The Magician, and the Ace of Pentacles-

it's clear to me you have everything you need to make this happen. You have literally nothing to worry about, in fact. There's some kind of truth or situation you may feel called to share publicly. For some this could have to do with bringing justice to a situation, speaking on a horrific thing that happened- defending a loved one even? If not that, then you are being called to take measured steps to re-establish yourself socially. You're supposed to cut through something, someone could have used your name or reputation as a punching-bag. I heard something about cutting off the head of the dragon, and it's weird bc I was watching Percy Jackson Yesterday- I remember the scene with the hydra in the book and that is coming to mind for me. You're revealing something about yourself to others. The way you carry yourself, I heard "emblem". So that definitely makes me think of your public image. Embrace the lessons that difficulty as a child taught you, I feel very sad for your childhood pile one. It is abundantly clear to me that you have been misunderstood for a very long time. People get upset with the things they cannot understand, you are not bad. I promise. The things your family taught you- the values, the structure and foundation no matter how broken have endowed you with great wisdom and strength. You have everything you need my love, I promise you that you do. I know some of you don't feel ready, some of you may feel angry or frustrated or stagnant, just take the leap of faith. Start doing the thing, start working the process, don't give up now. You have a vision that goes far beyond what other people could visualize, it doesn't matter if they think it won't work. Not when you KNOW it will.

Find the wisdom in your heartache, and work to defy all odds. Take the pain as an opportunity to reflect, to gain knowledge- as a step towards your ultimate truth. Rework the way you experience pain. I know it's tiring, it's frustrating, it's unfair- but this lesson isn't to punish you. It is to propel you, there is a reason this theme continually pops up. I think this group should study their Chiron placement, there seems to be something there. Your pain heals others, your pain opens the door to wisdom, healing, truth, and release. Allow yourself to exist truly and freely as the most authentic version of yourself while working to rise above the pain as often as s possible.

☿ 𝓹𝓲𝓵𝓮 𝓲𝓲 ☿

You need to sit tight through this period of uncertainty, I'm seeing the sails on a ship moving direction/course. So much has built up to now, you're tired of sitting and waiting in uncertainty. You're tired of pain, boredom, confusion, and the likes. It feels like rage, ready to bubble over- you may even be losing your faith in the divine. Because it seems like nothing works. Like nothing goes in your favor, you are angry. Scorned, you feel scammed. This is because intuitively you know a wish is about to be fulfilled, it's starting to come together now. Most ironically, I sense that you're preforming a type of martyrdom right now. You are sacrificing for a future that you're scared you won't be able to see. You feel as if you are blindfolded in the dark, and honestly you are- I also get frustrated at these circumstances. I find them to be unnecessary and unfair, though I am a human and probably super biased because I get the same way sometimes.

Your blessings are secretive, they aren't coming to you in a normal way. It's so weird, I really don't know why this is the approach your spirits are taking. It looks like it's because you need to learn something about balance and calmness. You have to develop a better discipline with negative emotions so they are taking this opportunity to teach that skill.

It's giving "we're going to literally make your external experience match your internal experience until you realize you're the problem" Let me tell you friend, some beautiful shit is headed your way- it's genuinely best if you just get with the memo and recognize that good things can happen to you. A lot of this "negativity" you're feeling is literally a release, you're purging a lot right now, and it's hard for you, I really do get that honestly. It isn't easy, it's in fact quite difficult and I'm sure overwhelming to feel forced into this position. You're tired of suffering, but you must take action to end your own suffering, and not like killing yourself cus I just get the vibe some of this group has been suicidal.

Fight your negative thoughts, when they tell you "something bad is happening everything will go bad" argue, point out the work you've done and the blessings you've reaped.

I get this vibe that any conflict you're seeing is not actually "real" so to speak, like- literally ignore it lowkey. Not like don't pretend it exists, but don't FEED it, it's fickle- it will come and go. There are so many other things in your life that have an actual sturdy foundation. Hold onto your healthy love/romance/friendships/relationships, hold onto your talents and gifts, hold onto your future desires- and keep your eyes ahead. Don't fixate on the dramas and bullshit of the now. Focus on something that showers you in hope- because I promise- just because you aren't seeing it in the now doesn't mean it isn't here. Once it all arrives, you'll FINALLY understand my dear.

Knight of Pentacles, 2 of pentacles, the empress, the queen of cups, and the 2 of cups.

Slow and steady wins the race, keep balance the best that you can- reap the fruits of your labor, penny pinch, be mindful of keeping the balance in check- and with a hopeful and emotionally calm heart look towards your future. If you've been feeling downtrodden or drained, you have a pick me up coming. Very soon, and it'll put quite a bit of pep in your step. You will see things changing drastically in your life very soon. Trust the process, I know you're starting to get fed up but just trust and believe in yourself. You are going to do just fine, frfr.

Since this pile is a bit shorter than 2, here is some further advice for tapping into this empress version of you: This is a hard one Pile Two, but- this is about releasing control. Going with the flow of life, while tending to your metaphorical "garden". When you feel the fear and control flaring back up, remember that you literally can only do what you're able to do. Stop to appreciate the things you do have, and look for a new perspective or find a way to avert your attention. This is a battle, girl, so you gotta buckle up and dive in. You are rewiring your mind and this is not an easy task, but you will come out better for it.

☿ 𝓹𝓲𝓵𝓮 𝓲𝓲𝓲 ☿

Pile 3, I can tell you're working on something important to you. You're really transforming yourself, I see that a lot of what you need to do to transform your life you are already doing. So perhaps this is going to be more like an explanation of your life's current "season". I want to start by highlighting an interesting combination of cards pulled on the side, they seem to be the shift in the tide. We have the high priestess, the sun reversed, and the 2 of wands, all forming a little pyramid. The sun being the furthest towards the bottom, the high priestess being more towards the middle, and the 2 of wands being on top. You are observing a lot right now, you are looking at the world and your environment and everything at large and you may be realizing how small your view had been for so long. The wisdom is being culminated within you in every moment you gain clarity. I see you may have a message to deliver to this world. A light shines deep within you, this sun reversed to me paired with the high priestess almost reminds me of the black sun. The light concealed within darkness, the eternal flame I also heard. You are opening something up inside of you, something that once opened cannot be stopped. This is a good thing, you may be realizing that your past emotional patterns do not serve you anymore. You are slowly culling them off, one by one, plucking them from the root so they may never return. I see you are building your wish fulfillment, perhaps you are looking to be a spiritual elder, or a person with authority. Someone who other people listen to and rely on, some of you could even be working to enter politicians, teachers, preachers even- Wisdomatic souls with much to give to others. People may begin to respect you more, you could find that the deeper you step into this energy the more "correct" things feel, the more things fall into place for you and the more you realize that your grapple with control was fruitless.

For those in relationships that are healthy and who will resonate strongly with this message then take it: Hold on to your person, and be steadfast, trust that something is being done in your favor and remember how much the two of you have overcome in the past. When the world seems out of control, confusing, and overwhelming remember the peace you will have one day. Remember what this is all for, you have a beautiful future ahead of you. Some of you could become very wealthy for your esoteric or spiritual knowledge, others could become very wealthy for their depth of knowledge on a particular subject- in especially niche or unknown//misunderstood areas.

You will taste true independence, and possibly even some sort of fame or recognition. You will be blessed with a higher position of authority and people may just start to really respect your hustle more. If someone isn't for you, then let it be what it is. Perhaps some of you have some friends/family members who can be fickle/unreliable. Be more intentional with what friendships you'll decide to keep & why? Be more mindful about what you share with friends and family right now as well, even the people you trust. Keep things to yourself, and be patient with the growth of the fruits of your labor bae.

[belovedenzo]

the kings of hogwarts // slytherin boys headcanons

various headcanons; appearance/style, social stance/relationships , pet peeves, favorite things, fun facts.

characters; Theodore Nott, Mattheo Riddle, Lorenzo Berkshire, Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zambini, Tom Riddle

words; 3.7k

warnings; cussing, sfw other than that? I think? suggestive maybe

notes; these are all my opinions so if they aren't accurate to you that's okay! If you want more various headcanons, comment some ideas and i'll make it happen :). please enjoy! reposts, likes and comments keep me motivated to make more. thank you guys for all the love on my other stories so far!

taglist; just tagging people I like! If u don’t want to be tagged please lmk! @shyamanuensis @riddlesbunny @redeemingvillains @nottsamor @nottsbaby @nottsluvv @nottsangel @riddleswhcre @enzosbabyangel @enzoberkshiresonly-deactivated2 @nottslove @nemesyaaa @obsessedwithceleste @prythiansprincess @anawritez-posts @riddlesrizzler

Theodore Nott

appearance/style;

6ft1

broad with decent muscle tone 

light chartreuse eyes

Few scattered freckles. Iconic freckle below left eye 

Light brown hair with body

A natural kubrick stare with a twist of gentleness

Sharp incisors

innocent smiles and shy grins (it’s a stick up)

doesn’t wear a lot of jewelry- occasionally a ring on his left hand

Outside of his uniform he sticks to simple colors for his clothes- beige, black, white, tan, navy, dark brown, etc.

Definitely gold over silver 

Always wearing the nicest shoes- shoes are his favorite accessory

Watch on the right arm when it’s a fancy event because he’s left handed

Wears a lot of sweaters in the winter 

social stance/relationships;

Silent but deadly. He may not cause a fight for the thrill of it like Mattheo will, but he will support and instigate his best friends angsty behavior. His naturally sweet looking face can quickly become mincing- his main tactic of intimidating his enemies and naysayers. 

Most people think he’s meaner than he is. He actually stays mostly in his own lane if it isn’t to back up the rest of the boys or join in on chaos one of them already caused. 

They are all players, sure- but Theo is kinda mean about it. Rather heartless with his hookups and doesn’t ever keep the same one for long. Romantic feelings are something he doesn’t really feel or act on. 

May be on the more cold side with girls but keeps their personal info to himself. Even to his friends he doesn’t brag or talk about it that often. 

People who do get the opportunity of being Theo’s friend say that he is very funny and has a dark sense of humor

Comes off as a lone wolf to the rest of the school- but can also very often be seen with his best friend Mattheo

Will actually stand up for the little guy- especially if on his own. If he thinks something is unfair he will call them out

Thinks that Lorenzo is the funniest in their group but tells Mattheo it’s him to make him feel better

Let’s the boys think he isn’t totally in charge of most of their affairs

Mattheo is his best friend- he thinks he’s the coolest and gets along with him the most out of any of the boys 

Him and Enzo butt heads a lot but he does love him very much

Goes to Blaise and Tom when he needs good advice or just to vent to smart people

Finds himself feeling jealous of Draco and his ability to not give a fuck (little does he know…)

pet peeves;

While he does engage in bullying with the rest of the boys he thinks Draco goes way too far sometimes. It gets on his nerves and sometimes does say something

Love and romance in any way. If he feels like any girl is catching feelings he gets the ick and leaves sooner than he would have anyways 

Hates it when Mattheo blows cigarette smoke to close to his face even though he smokes too

Thinks Enzo brags too much about himself but has never said anything 

Also thinks Enzo can talk too much in general sometimes…

If a girl he likes seems more interested in any of his friends he gets jealous. This happens with Mattheo the most and can cause them to fight

favourite things;

Alone time- as much as he loves his friends he actually does love chill time alone sometimes

He likes parties just as much as the rest of them but for him it’s because he can get super fucked up- he’s there for the muggle weed and alcohol

Potions. Out of all his classes he actually finds making potions kind of fun- his favorite classmate to make potions with is Pansy because she’s actually good at it

More into smoking than drinking- loves muggle weed. He’s always in charge of bringing it to the their smaller get togethers

Crystal Castles- if that band existed he would love it

Spicy food

Painting- even though he thinks he’s terrible at it

Hanging out with Mattheo

Early morning hours 

Skirts on girls

fun facts;

Actually speaks Italian and some Spanish 

He can out-smoke any of the boys (yes even Mattheo)

Pansy has a huge crush on him 

He never remembers his dreams 

Has dyslexia

Mattheo Riddle

appearance/style;

5ft10

Lean but prominent muscle tone

Chocolate brown eyes 

Long eyelashes

dark brown hair- lightly curly

Dough eyes

Very charming grin- but mischievous 

Wears various bracelets and a pinky ring on his left hand constantly

Mostly dark colors. Loves jackets even when not in uniform

Mostly silver, but likes gold

There’s a few rings and bracelets that he wears the most- almost every day. They are subtle but iconic

Watch on his left arm because he’s right handed

Too scared to pierce his ears

Actually likes fashion and thinks about it when he gets ready

social stance/relationships;

Terrible reputation. Known for his rude words and tendency to get into physical fights. This has a lot of people on his enemy list

He and Draco are the worst about how they treat other people in and outside of their house. He has no respect for people that feel less than him

One of the worst players- but has a select roster he mainly goes to. They are wrapped around his pinky

Can and has felt romantic feelings but never acts on it. Hides his desire to actually love someone. Thinks that would make him too vulnerable

While Draco is egotistical- Mattheo is rude for other reasons. He’s pessimistic and does it to get attention

Secretly wants validation but continues to worsen his reputation by acting out 

Thinks Theo is the funniest and the coolest. He loves his dark sense of humor. They bounce off of eachother well 

Let’s Theo think he’s in charge but it’s so obviously him- right? (right-)

While his best friend is Theo- he is also very close with Enzo

Him and his brother Tom butt heads a lotttt, they get into a lot of disagreements. He secretly loves him a lot 

Also quite close to Draco. They can relate in some ways even if they won’t admit it

Goes to Blaise when he needs advice or even when logic needs to be talked into him

All of his friends know that he is secretly super sweet and caring but outsiders don’t and he likes it that way

pet peeves;

Tom’s lack of empathy. And his lack of interest towards getting with girls- he thinks that is odd

When Tom won’t hang out with them because of an academic reason- also thinks that is odd

When a girl stops showing interest in him in any way- or if they’ve replaced him. If it’s one of his friends he’d freak

He hates all of his friends music taste. They don’t listen to good music. He thinks very highly however of his own music taste

Tests of any kind

If any of his friends take Tom’s side during one of their fights he gets super mad and it secretly hurts him a lot

favorite things;

The smiths- he would listen to the smiths a lot and I will die on that hill

The specific brand of cigarettes he smokes daily

Quidditch- Lorenzo is his favorite team mate because he’s quick

Confrontation 

Music

Attention, positive or negative 

A total night person, especially as it gets colder

Sour candy 

Reading tragic romance stories 

Horror movies

Hanging out with Theo

fun facts;

Thinks he can out-smoke Theo (he can not)

Has really crazy dreams and a hard time sleeping 

Gets seasonal depression really bad

Hates the smell of coffee but still drinks it

Has had multiple secret real gf’s that only Theo knows about

Lorenzo Berkshire

appearance/style;

6ft4 (the tallest)

Long limbs- lean. But shockingly strong, sleeper build

Amber brown eyes

Sharp jawline

A natural Kubrick stare- mean case of resting bitch face

Dark brown hair- kept on the longer side

Shows his emotions on his face through his expressions

Likes necklaces, long ones underneath his clothes. Likes rings and earrings which he wears most of the time

Mostly gold but likes silver as well

Outside of his uniform he wears a lot of pastel colors, purple and green being his favorite. Also really likes dark purple and green. Gem tones

Watch on both arms, mixed with chunky bracelets (for fancy events)

Everyone says he had really beautiful hair and he secretly always makes sure it is (he loves his hair)

Social stance and relationships;

Known as the schools biggest whore. But in a good way?

Even though he can actually be the worst- he has a good reputation. His ability to charm and seem innocent has helped him get away with a lot of things 

Generally one of the most liked out of the boys around the whole school. People fear him least and actually really want to be friends with him

Either that or they have a huge crush on him

He comes off as much more sweet than he… can be

He uses girls very disposibley. He really makes them feel like he really likes them though. He’s great at pretending to get what he wants

All of his friends know one of the worst thing about him is his habit of lying 

Over the years girls have gotten the gist of what kind of guy he truly is but it still stays rumor around school because of how well liked he is 

Treats everyone in the group like they are his best friends- but it’s probably actually Mattheo

He knows that Theo can find him annoying but thinks that’s funny. Even does it on purpose sometimes for entertainment 

Draco is his cousin and another close friend of his but secretly envy’s him because he thinks the boys like Draco more than him

Becomes the most mischievous when with Mattheo. They can act like major dicks together

Likes to hit on girls with Blaise

Goes to Tom about school stuff he struggles with. He’s not that great with academics

While he can be cold in some ways to others- with his friends he can be quite emotional 

pet peeves;

He hates that he feels the need to be perfect all the time but never can be 

It irks him that everyone thinks Mattheo is some hooligan when he’s really not 

While he likes smoking cigarettes- he thinks they all smoke too much

He has a lower tolerance and hates that he’s always the first to be super drunk 

Waking up in the morning. Always wakes up in a terrible mood until he wakes up 

Out of any of the boys he has the most patience overall

favorite things;

Getting drunk and partying. He gets invited to everything 

Having people fawn all over him. He likes that so many people like him

Flirting with other guy’s girlfriends to piss them off

Quidditch- loves playing with Mattheo and Draco

Muggle weed. Also has the lowest tolerance with that 

Hugging Draco 

Fruit. Blueberries are his favorite 

Deftones. He’d feel so cool while listening to them 

Luna Lovegood. He thinks she’s freaky in a good way

fun facts;

Has the deepest voice out of all the boys

Can run faster than anyone else at Hogwarts

Has really bad OCD 

Out of any of the boys he is most susceptible to substance abuse. Terrible addictive personality 

He hates his family and only talks about growing up with Draco 

Draco Malfoy

appearance/style;

6ft even

White blond hair 

Striking, light blue eyes

Long and lanky. The skinniest out of them

Sharp angular features

Also has resting bitch face but on purpose 

Loves jewelry- but classy jewelry and not all the time. Mostly necklaces 

Silver and silver only

Wears a lot of dark clothing- also likes gem tones. But mostly black white and grey’s

Mostly gets comments on how blonde his hair is and how bright his eyes are. Has soul staring blue eyes

Black is his most iconically worn color fs

Watch on his left because he’s right handed. Actually wears it every day

social stance/relationships;

A total asshole. Just less physically than Mattheo. He may not pick a physical fight but he does bully a lot of people- he’s rude and intitled. Says hurtful things

Known for his high ego and over privileged personality

People don’t understand how him and Lorenzo are even related 

Does pull girls but isn’t as good as the others are at it- is filled with too much hate (lol… no actually)

Everyone wonders how he gets good grades because he never pays attention. It’s because he’s actually super smart

Him and Tom get along really well. They actually have a lot in common and hang out a lot

Blaise and Lorenzo are the ones that know more of his vulnerable and emotional side, being there since the beginning

Mattheo and him really feed off one another and are a very feared couple when together (no one is safe). They fuel each others egos 

Actually really loves Theo. Has always had an extra soft spot for him and has wished he could be him

He envy’s how cold Tom actually is. Draco hides a lot of his pain in a fake persona

He actually had real gf’s. A few long term ones even

Out of all the boys he trusted Blaise first. Lorenzo introduced them

pet peeves;

Everything? No literally- he has a very short fuse

Speaking of short fuse- his friends like to use that against him and rile him up for fun. He hates that

Being disrespected. He will actually become a Karen if he has to- no body is rude to Draco.. except his friends are rude to him all the time 

How much everyone loves his cousin Enzo but hates him. He is jealous of the attention he gets

Any time one of the guys are bragging about girls because he secretly wishes he had that many girls 

Mattheo’s fucking cigarette smoke

The fact that Tom’s grades are just a little better than his 

The fact that Mattheo and Enzo are better at quidditch than him 

Gryffindor. Just the whole houses existence

“Fucking nerds’, as he’d call them 

favourite things;

Cussing 

Writing (keeps it to himself mostly)

Mattheo’s music taste

Enzo hugs (he will die before Enzo knows this)

The Greengrass sisters (has dated both of them… wants one of them back)

The color black

Getting extremely drunk. Feeling numb and unbothered. That’s when he gets deep and real 

Cold weather- hates the heat

Pastries, especially jelly filled ones 

fun facts;

Speaks French 

Is super rich and will make sure everyone knows that

Has a weakness for cute animals 

Got mad when Tom lost his virginity before him

Is secretly bisexual

Probably bpd

Blaise Zambini

appearance/style;

6ft2 (the second tallest)

Broad and muscular but still on the lean side

Deep brown eyes

Full lips, model like features 

Great cheekbones 

Known as one of the prettiest out of the boys

Likes gold and silver 

Never wears his watch- always forgets it and loses it

Does wear earrings like all the time though

Secretly wants a nose piercing 

Wears a lot of grey and navy outside of his uniform. Looks really good in it though

Striking eyes but gentle, sweet resting face

social stance/relationships;

A good reputation like Enzo- but a bit more intimidating 

A lot of girls want him but he’s actually quite picky and doesn’t give a lot of them a chance

Gets emotional about girls more so than his friends- still doesn’t date them. Like Mattheo- has the ones he goes to the most 

Not really mean at all unless he’s joining in on his friends being dicks. Him and Enzo like to tease people together 

Sees Draco as his best friend 

Knew Enzo first

Wishes he could be as smart as Tom and goes to him a lot for school questions. Is secretly super smart though and could probably get better grades than Tom if he applied himself more

Likes to smoke with Theo the most. They get along well when they smoke together

Thinks Mattheo is the funniest 

pet peeves;

How mean Draco and Mattheo can be. He finds it pointless and rude when they go too far

When he gets lumped into some of the boys bad behavior

When Enzo and Draco get too drunk at parties. He tends to drink less because he knows they will go over board and he’ll have to take care of them 

How little the boys think about Tom sometimes and leave him behind (Tom would have said no anyways)

How much he can see through Draco’s shit sometimes 

Does a lot of damage control for his friends and that can get old

Being late to things

Losing things (loses things all the time)

Watching a friend lower their standards for a girl or guy

favorite things;

Going to quidditch games to see his friends play- always sits with Theo

Colder weather

A comfy sweater

A nicely rolled joint. Thinks Theo roles the best ones

When things are nice and calm. No body is arguing or being stupid and he doesn’t have to be mom

When his grades are good and he doesn’t have to stress about it

Watching Draco get put in his place 

Alone time with Draco and Enzo, just like their first year

Rock music. Like classic rock music- listens to it with Tom and Mattheo

Girls that wear nice perfume 

fun facts;

He wishes he could play quidditch when he watches his friends play

Can understand a small amount of Draco’s French 

Has really bad anxiety but keeps it to himself

Seems like the most put together in the group but really isn’t at all. More insecure than he lets on

Tom Riddle

appearance/style;

5ft11 (One inch that he holds over Mattheo’s head)

Major sleeper build

Green eyes. Odd shade of green that you can’t forget

Hair similar to his brothers just a little less curly 

NIce jawline

Evil and mischievous looking grin- it’s just that way naturally 

Resting plotting against you face 

Tries to have a kubrick stare but has dough eyes like Mattheo 

Would wear jewelry but nothing too flashy. A necklace maybe- one ring even

Gold and silver- mostly gold

Wears his watch on his right hand because he’s left handed. Wears it all the time 

Isn’t seen in much other than his uniform. But when he is it’s black and green anyways 

Doesn’t care for fashion. Thinks piercings and tattoos of any kind are too much

Never goes into public not dressed nice 

social stance/relationships;

Social outcast. Not the most social at all really

Extremely focused on his grades and personal writings

Is either feared or ignored by most people around him 

Does however have friends and goes out with them sometimes… when they bug him enough 

He is known for being very smart though and lots of students want his help on projects 

Quite intimidating even though he doesn’t care enough to bully anyone 

Isn’t very interested in girls… has had his fun with a few but romance and feelings don’t exist in his world- he has no time or energy for that

Has had a few crushes but would never tell anyone 

Doesn’t talk about his feelings with any of his friends 

Actually likes his brother Mattheo the most out of any of them but won’t admit that

Is also a huge fan of Theo- he thinks he’s the funniest 

Likes being around Blaise a lot too- thinks he is actually super smart

Draco and him hang out often- they have a lot in common and Draco makes the most sense to him out of all the boys 

He finds Enzo slightly annoying… he’s just gotten used to him really 

All of the boys admire Tom in an odd way and he does know that 

pet peeves;

Like Draco- Tom finds everything lame and annoying to be honest. He however is more quiet about his distaste for things unless he really hates it

Enzo’s constant talking about girls. He thinks that guy talks too much in general 

Mattheo’s temper. He thinks Mattheo needs to get it together and drop the ego

How little his friends pay attention in school… how stupid some of them can be 

Mattheo’s fucking cigarette smoke 

How much the school cares about quidditch and how Mattheo is praised about it more than he is with his academic success 

Getting super fucked up is dumb to him. Just like the flirting and hooking up- he has better things to do. He will however smoke muggle weed a little bit and does lie cigarettes

Being touched (Enzo trying to hug him)

Athletics of any kind 

favorite things; 

Writing and reading, he absolutely loves it 

Draco’s creative cussing 

Getting the best grades out of all his friends 

Watching Mattheo get angry at him and squirmy 

Chocolate, major bitter sweet tooth

Black coffee

Charms; he is really good at it 

Dueling; he is also really good at it and beats all the boys

Classical music 

Alone time and his own space 

fun facts;

He can play the piano really well. Plays mostly for Mattheo 

Practically raised Mattheo even though he’s just a year older

He doesn’t like to sleep too much

He is always the first to wake up and start his day 

He is also the first to always leave the table in the great hall

He speaks parseltongue but no body knows

Secretly overthinks a lot 

love, spell

[janecafe]

FUTURE SPOUSE'S PAC: their love languages 𝜗𝜚˚⋆⠀

𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗖𝗛𝗢𝗢𝗦𝗘? from the left side to the right side. pick which picture is drowning you with, pulling you in. take a deep breath in and out and start to visualize all of the images above. trust your intuition and set aside your aesthetic preferences. enjoy and have fun! 🍀✨

group one, ruler - group two, paper metal clip - group three, ballpoint pen.

𐚁 ❪ヵめへ❫

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• reblogs for „ huggies & kisses⠀

© janecafe 2025

special mention and topic suggested by @sparklysublimecreation this reading is dedicated for you 😘🌷💗. thank you for suggesting and supporting my blog🤓🌷✨

layout inspired here 🪞

have any PAC suggestions? you can inbox them here

• 𝗨𝗡𝗢 - RULER

love languages: act of service 40%. gifts giving 30%. physical touch 20%. quality time 10%. words of affirmations 0%.

this person's way of showing affection is like a gun with a silencer. they may not say much but actions speak thunderous. they preferably show it rather than telling how much they love you. for example, they don't typically follow the gender-based stereotypes of like "cleaning must be for women task" no, but they are willing to do that without their partner narrating it to them. they typically someone who find ways even in small to help and makes them partner feel better on a certain task... if you like morning coffees? hell yeah they make you one or wake up earlier than you to buy outside. it's like they don't want to see you stress or sad either. felt sick? they would make you soup with a medicine on its side. don't know how to cook? they would love to make you delicious dishes. need someone to help you organize your room? got yah, you can rely on them. lack of staff in your business? lucky, they would participate in working for you. felt unsafe going home alone? they would accompany you back and forth. otherwise, their affection is also shown in buying you gifts. for example, buying you a souvenir... in the back of my mind, i vision two people----person A happily giving person B, a keychain that reminds them. it's like i bought you this whale keychain because it's remind me how big and gentle you are towards me. although, your future spouse may seem to have grown up in a household where they can't truly express themselves and voicing their opinions out. thus, this may be one of the reasons why their love language is more lean into actions and not words. perhaps, sometimes you may be caught them saying sweet words towards but don't expect too much. it's hard for them to tell someone how much they really adore it so they think the only way to show it is through giving you time, being there when you badly needed it and buying and surprising you gifts. i guess, with you they will learn how to be heard. how to volume up their voice. it's heavily giving me of "we talked like lovers and laughed like best friends". this person love language is top-tier!

★ check the previous pac

• 𝗗𝗢𝗦 - PAPER METAL CLIP

love languages: act of service 20%. gifts giving 20%. physical touch 20%. quality time 20%. words of affirmations 20%.

i must say, they don't typically have a love language in my mind but they will try their best to make you experience all of that. they think you deserve all the love. they love to make you feel heard and loved. they would make mental notes about what you like and hate. with this person you gonna experience how to be understood as individual. you may even say to yourself "dang, is this freaking love?" yes honey, it is. you can run away from it from their thunderous affection, you will experience the storms and floods of their cariño. i love this person, they would love to include you in their prayers. it's like adding you is a silent yet most powerful love language they can offer to you. perhaps, you can't really recall how many times you would fell in love with this person over and over again. this person will make an effort, it's giving me an idea of "wanting to know all the names of your plants". i think you give a fresh beginning in this individual life, something they considered perfect. in bed, they would love to snuggle with you. yes, making effort showing up again. damn it, you are lucky! 😩🤌🏻 they gonna take time to figure things out, pay attention to the details and asking you questions.this person will try their best to fit in and deal with your connections and life. it's about them, making an effort to know everything about you. that's superficial love, your interest will be their interest. anything about you and what you do is gonna be their interest and will make an effort to learn and know about it. i think your person live in a household where all people are equally loved, supported and appreciated.

★ check the previous pac

• 𝗧𝗥𝗘𝗦 - BALLPOINT PEN

love languages: words of affirmations 40%. physical touch 20%. quality time 20%. acts of service 10%. gifts giving 10%

i think your person is someone who grew up in a family where they usually get criticized and make them feel unworthy. they were probably seeking for someone who can appreciate their work and praise it. your person's family have cruel and heartless opinions to them, your future spouse's often feel sabotaged from these people. it's also seems like they frequently experience inhumane words from their parents where most of the time they feel gloomy and blaming themselves for coming out of this world. it's giving me "we raised you so you must give it back to us when you have work". if i'm not mistaken, you two may deal with the same experience with your family. you both deal with a household where harsh criticism are prevalent. you will heal each other, holding grip so no one will leave this connection. they will bring a soothe feeling towards your soul, they are an epitome of perfection- beautiful disaster. this person loves communication. they give you the questions that feels like a hug like "do you want us to walk together so you can clear your mind a little while". you are very talkative when you are with this person and they will actively listen to everything you say. i see that you may casually be petty jealous about random people and things that take their attention a little. i think they will value your opinion and when communicating with you, they speak with the truth. if you are dealing with low confidence and self-esteem then they will assure that you are perfect. they will be your guide and life inspiration and motivational coach.

★ check the previous pac

jane, the bean fiend tarot reader

˚⊱🍀⊰˚

[pauline-sunshine]

Suchwidate

Pairing: Min Yoongi x female actress reader

Summary: After being a guest on Suchwita something bloomed

Genre: fluff, slow-burn (maybe?)

Warnings: mc is a super awkard outspoken extravert. If you know, you know :)

Word count: 1,7k

Author’s note: I apologize for any errors! English is not my first language. Would you like maybe a part 2? Let me know!! I hope it will make you smile! Enjoy!

Being an incredible actress you are and gaining fame by your talent, it became kinda a part of your weekly schedule to attend talk-shows or interviews to promote your ongoing or upcoming projects.

“We’ve received one interesting invitation recently,” your manager said as you were stuck in a morning Seoul traffic jam on a way to a shooting.

“I thought you would let me rest next week,” you slightly rubbed your sore neck. Mornings never were your thing.

“Yes, but I thought this one would be, what’s the word, a pleasant one,” your manager faced you with a sly smile.

“And why would I find it “pleasant” exactly?” You sigh without much enthusiasm staring at a window.

“Well, I don’t know a lot of shows that let their guests get drunk in the middle of the day.” And that was the moment of realization.

“Wait. Wait! You didn’t…” you turned to face her with absolute disbelief in your eyes.

“Well, let’s say I have a few friends in a production group,” she winked at you.

“You are absolutely the best!! You know that, right?” You squealed out of excitement and did a little happy dance in your passenger seat.

And just like that with a little help from your manager (aka Fairy Godmother here) you were an upcoming guest for Suchwita! Truth be told, you’ve admired Yoongi and respected him even without knowing him personally. His creativity, his edgy and new ideas, his seriousness with his projects and the little things he did for his fans and how supportive and encouraging he was. All of that mixed with his tragic life events that he had strength to turn into something beautiful. Everything about him was a mystery you wanted to solve.

Now, one week later, you found yourself standing at the entrance of the Hype office building.

“Shall we?” Your manager smiled and took you by the hand leading you the way.

You were sitting in a dressing-room completely lost in your thoughts, worrying about how things are going to be: “What if I say something stupid? What if food gets stuck in my teeth? What if…” As you were wondering time passed and all the finishing touches were done. You were informed that it was time to go on set.

You entered the filming location and saw him. For a moment you think you forgot how to breathe and your hands started to tremble even more. Yoongi was talking to a director. So easily, so freely, without any nerves…that you couldn’t say about you. You felt stiffness in your body and it was challenging to be relaxed. But it wasn’t only about the fact that Yoongi was there, you also wanted to deliver, to be perfect, a real professional you are.

You decided to focus on work and tried your best to control emotions. Slowly approached the filming set, director and him. Everyone alone the way was super nice and welcoming so there’s no need to worry, right?

“Pleasure to meed you,” you said while bowing to both men.

“Thank you so much for coming,” the director answered, “are you familiar with a type of show?”

“Yes!” You may or may not screamed with too much enthusiasm. You saw how Yoongi smiled a bit and felt your cheeks turned red, staring at the floor you continued. “Oh, sorry. I’m just nervous a bit. Um, yes, I watched the show, I am familiar with the concept.”

“Great! So Yoongi will do the intro and you can come out and join him,” the director ordered while going to his place.

You waited patiently as Yoongi took his seat and smiled at you. Wait. What did he do? That’s the lightning that curved his lips, right???

“A lot of interesting guests always come to Suchwita. Guys, get ready to be amazed by her talent and personality. Let’s check the guest list. Name: Y/N. Known for her amazing roles, she is a blend of carefree sociability, sparkling imagination and deep introspection.” He stood up and bowed to you as you stepped to the filming set. “Nice to meet you. Please, take your seat.” You quickly bowed to him and did as the man said.

“Welcome once again. I spotted a bag in your hands. Can you tell me what did you bring on Suchwita?”

“Well, I consider myself a romantic. And you know how they always drink wine on first dates? Well…” you didn’t finish because you were interrupted by the host.

“Did you just call our encouter a date?” He made a surprised face that quickly transformed into a reassuring smile.

“What? No! No, I mean I did say the word date but it’s not like we’re on a date. It was an example of a first meeting…” For a moment you felt so embarrassed by your words but then your gaze met his and you felt how warmth spread all over your chest. It was comforting in some sense and gave you a little bit of confidence. “Anyways, wine just never gets old. I brought you my favorite: white and semi-sweet. Just for the atmosphere. I know that wine experts will probably have something to say but I like it and that’s why it is here,” you smiled at him.

“Good for you I’m not really a wine expert. I think you made a great choice.” The glasses were filled.

“Your new series just premiered on Netflix. Congratulations on that. Can you tell me more about your character?” Yoongi asked.

“Well, she was very challanging and interesting character to play. She is someone who suffered a lot. And I naturally try to be very light and outgoing but for this role I really had to go back to my traumatic experiences to be able to transmit and portray the right emotions. That wasn’t easy because, well, dark places are not a lot of fun. So, I kinda created this alter-ego of my past pain and experience to fit the role. You know, just like you play with your alter-egos in your music videos,” rapidly you covered your mouth with your hand. You got carried away giving the answer to the question that didn’t notice how easy (and natural) it felt to open up to Yoongi because he made you feel understood although you barely knew him. And maybe that was the reason you spilled a little too much information and that’s why now you only have one thought in your mind: “SHITSHITSHIT. Okay, now he will think I’m a crazy stalker who decodes every single of his music videos. Great.”

“Hm, It’s interesting that you listen to my music. You don’t look like someone who would be interested in that but I feel honored, in a good way,” he laughed, seems like at his own thoughts, and sipped a little bit of wine. “I actually already watched half of the season. Your acting is amazing.”

“But you don’t look like someone who would watch a series like that,” you fenced with his own words.

“After a long day that’s exactly what I need sometimes.”

Word by word, question by question everything just felt…easier? Maybe you became comfortable with each other, or maybe it was the wine that made you loose but it felt like it wasn’t an interview anymore. You also asked him questions that you were interested to know and he answered willingly. It was like cameras hadn’t existed. His head slightly tilted and his gaze following your passionate way of gesturing and your big shining eyes as you were responding or telling something. Yoongi also was very attentive, a real gentleman he is: putting food on your plate, pouring more wine to your glass. He was just soft, simple and sweet. Conversation was a flow.

“And the last question that I ask every guest on Suchwita: what is Y/N’s dream?”

“My dream is to be there for people. I think we live in a world that has enough cruelty and stress. I just want to be someone who could give a sense of comfort. Through my personality, through my roles. I just want to help as many people as I possibly can. Just like you do with your music.” He fixed his gaze a little bit longer on you as if he was amazed and took his time to appreciate your beauty.

After the cameras were off Yoongi approached you.

“I had a lot of fun today. It was like a breath of fresh air. Thank you for coming,” he lowered his gaze slightly as if he was shy and added quietly, “I mean it”.

Without a perfect lightning and being this close you noticed how tired he was. He didn’t show it obviously but you felt it.

“Thank you for having me! I think a lot of people tell you that but you are really good at hosting. You make people feel understood.” Now was your time to shyly hide your eyes.

“Oh,” he was a little bit surprised by your praise, “and I thought it was so interesting to listen to you, you are amazing at telling stories, I haven’t felt that introverted in a while,” he chuckled.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry, Yoongi!! I’m such a chatterbox, sorry,” you were sincere in your apology.

“I didn’t say it was bad, you were perfect. I mean…I like that you’re like that.” Your whole face brightened by his compliment and he smiled of how adorable you were.

“Actually, I thought we could exchange numbers. If you want to, obviously. You know, maybe producers will need me to ask you some additional information or I could send you the episode when it will be edited.”

“Sure! I would love that!” You smiled.

He awkwardly passed you his phone. It was the tiniest moment but you felt how his skin brushed against yours but it was enough. You immediately felt it like a stream of electricity that send a heat wave all over your body. You looked at him and noticed his gaze fixed on you.

“Here you go. Thank you so much for everything again,” you gave you his phone back.

“The pleasure was mine.”

That day you left the Hype office with a blooming feeling of happiness in your chest and maybe you were not the only one who felt the same.

[autistichalsin]

Some of my favorite, understated moments with heartbreaking implications for Halsin

1. Halsin threatening to turn into a mouse in the epilogue if the player brags about his achievements- he's so shy and humble that just being acknowledged for LITERALLY BUILDING A COMMUNE HIMSELF makes him want to hide. A mouse is a very symbolic choice here: not only easy to hide, but also easily overlooked and forgotten. The idea of his accomplishments being acknowledged is so terrifying for him that he wants to turn into an animal no one will notice, instead of his usual strong, large, noticeable bear.

2. "Sometimes, I think people look at me and imagine my feelings can't be hurt." This isn't the kind of thing that happens after one or two people act like jerks. This is years and years of cruel treatment, of his emotions being demeaned and mocked because of his size. Of people judging him before even meeting him- and forming an entirely wrong view of him. Halsin is a bighearted, tender, sentimental man, yet because he's big... Well, big people don't have feelings, surely. /s

3. "You and I may struggle to go unnoticed in such environs, Karlach[...] Folk of our stature can be a lure for drunkards seeking a brawl, I have found," combined with, "There is a particular discomfort to besting one you know to be weaker than yourself - even when needs must," from a different scene. People have sought him out and fought him because of his size (which had to have been terrifying, especially the first time), and he feels guilty when he takes out someone he knows is weaker, even if they STARTED it. How many times has the poor guy been traveling and then had to defend himself against someone 1/2 his size, making HIM look like the asshole to onlookers, and reinforcing that whole "people think I can't be hurt" thing?

4. "It was always destined to be so, if we prevailed. But the foreknowledge makes it no less bittersweet..." (About the players' paths diverging post brain battle), combined with "I see... After all my years of living, I know all too well that nothing lasts forever. Yet a parting can sting, nonetheless," if the player breaks up with him in the ending. This poor guy was having the time of his life adventuring with the group (and possibly falling in love there) yet never believed it would truly last (because of his abandonment issues). And then to have it confirmed.... he must have felt so awful in that moment, even if he was being dignified about it.

5. "You came for me... thank you. I feared Orin's accursed smile would be the very last sight I beheld," when Halsin is freed from Orin, combined with, "Orin's blades. I hoped my friends would save me..." If he is killed by Orin instead and Speak With the Dead is used on his corpse. The tone of his voice in the first line, especially added to that bit in the second... he never thought the player was coming to save him. He HOPED they would. Not "believed". Hoped. He thought he was going to die there- just like how he was in the Underdark for THREE YEARS and no one came to save him. And if it's confirmed... Yeah. That. (Sidenote: if you ask his corpse if he has any regrets, he says not telling Thaniel and Oliver goodbye, and not getting to see their land flourish. :( My heart. :( )

6. "I... have not had true confidantes for some time. The Shadow Curse robbed me of almost all my peers, and replaced them with the weight of responsibility. Perhaps that caused me to gild undeserving memories of my youth." Halsin was so miserable and stressed being Archdruid that he romanticized his past as a sex slave, viewing it as a safer, even happier alternative. There were actually times when Halsin thought he might rather be a sex slave than continue to be Archdruid. In a sense, for the 100 years the Shadow Curse was around, Halsin was just as much a prisoner as Thaniel was in the Shadowfell, but Halsin's prison had invisible bars. The Shadow Curse took away his entire support system, and being Archdruid forced him to be the strong one, always, never allowed to be weak or scared, forced him to take control of situations when he hated it, forced him to spend his time sorting out people instead of being in nature. And he was MISERABLE. For 100 years.

7. "You understand me almost perfectly. Only my late mother may have bested you." (Said if you get one question wrong at the love dryad test). He misses his mama. :( Especially when you consider that if you steal Balthazar's "Mother Dearest" and taunt him about it, Halsin disapproves (and is the only one to do so), while returning her gets you approval (which only Halsin approves of). And then the line when you look into a mirror while controlling him, "more like my father, with each passing day..." He really misses them. :(

8. "I am loathe to see anyone behind bars. It reminds me of my time as a guest of the goblins." He is, secretly, still quite traumatized from his time in the goblin pens, but he brushes it off. Just like every OTHER time he is hurt.

9. "I am aware [of having a habit of getting captured]. Perhaps I put too much faith in my skills of negotiation, or want to see good where there is none. It would be easy to resort to nature's fury whenever something stood in my way, yet I cannot help but feel I would be sullying the Oak Father's gifts. Naive perhaps... but I still draw breath." Halsin is aware he gets hurt often because of his desire to see good in people until he has no other choice, but refuses to give up anyway (which is backed up by that letter Gut had on her where she reveals Halsin TRIED to help the goblins, saying he could cure them of their tadpoles, only to be thrown in the cage, with Gut threatening to have his stomach cut open and maggots placed inside it.) Further, even though he is an Archdruid, and one of the most devoted, and explicitly has Silvanus's favor (Halsin says that gaining his favor was the only way he was able to open the portal to the Shadowfell), he still constantly worries about using Silvanus's powers, to the point of wondering if an actual threat to his safety actually merits using his powers. Which... combined with some other stuff, reads like one hell of a problem with self-worth.

10. "At least you were not present. Grim as [the ruined battlefield] is now, it was worse on the day of the battle. A vivid wound upon my memory[...] I was lucky - I lived, when so many did not. It would take me a day and a night to recite the names of all the friends I lost" combined with, "I was [present when the Shadow Curse was unleashed]. Part of my spirit was shorn away from me here, and never left," and, if Last Light falls, "All gone... devoured by the shadows. Oak Father preserve us, it's just like a hundred years ago[...] We are [still standing]. Yet there is a burden to being the survivor... the witness to others' tragedies. It only grows heavier with time." He has so much PTSD and survivor guilt from the Shadow Curse. :( No wonder it's all he can think about- to the point that some of the other companions even get annoyed at him for his obsession.

11. "I never quite realised how burdened I was, until I met you. The threat of the shadow curse, the politics of the grove... I was forgetting who I was, but you lifted the fog. Thank you." Not only does this tie in with the above, with his PTSD from the curse and his utter misery at being Archdruid, but this HEAVILY implies Halsin had depression. Like... that "fog" line hits HARD if you have or have had depression, because that's exactly what it feels like. And the "forgetting who I was" bit too. Not just losing his sense of self to the depression, but to the neverending responsibilities of being Archdruid. I keep repeating myself, but damn, this guy has really and truly spent an entire century being absolutely MISERABLE. :(

12. "Forgive me. I... lost the run of myself. Sometimes, if blood runs hot enough, it's difficult to tame the beast." With that little disgusted groan/sigh, the fury and disgust at himself visible on his face, and the way he rushes to get out the rest of it- he thinks he fucked up so badly that you're about to leave him, maybe forever. And then if you reject him after this? "Ah... I see. Well, of course. Back to camp then." He has the most heartbroken look on his face here, and the way he says "of course" like he just... knew this was coming the instant he accidentally wildshaped. He felt that the first time he let ANY of his imperfections show, the player would leave him. :(

13. "Death is nature's final slumber - it awaits us all. Do not punish yourself over those lost, or give in to despair - not while there are still folk in need of your help." (Said to a Dark Urge if they tell him they're not much of a hero and most people needing them end up dead) Not only is Halsin speaking from experience here, but it's very clear he is STILL doing exactly what he tells Durge not to do, to himself- punishing himself over those who were lost, struggling with devastating survivor guilt.

14. "The grove has cut itself off from the world, to jealously guard its own little pocket of nature. No one shall ever enter or leave again. And I have been evicted from the very place I was charged to safeguard. A telling summary of my time as Archdruid, perhaps..." If the Grove is sealed and you ask him about it later, this is what he says. Interesting that he views being evicted from the place he was in charge of protecting to be a "telling summary." He was forced to take the leadership role there, and yet it was clear he wasn't wanted or respected by a great number of the Druids (exempting Nettie, Rath, and Apikusis). He got a truly thankless job that took damn near EVERYTHING from him emotionally/mentally, causing him to develop depression and causing him to backslide in his previous healing from his trauma from his time as a sex slave, he still gave EVERYTHING to the Grove, and in return...... almost none of his Druids appreciated or even liked him. (I could seriously write at least five metas about how obviously miserable Halsin was at the Grove, despite caring for it deeply).

15. "You could have done anything, gone with anyone... yet you chose me." Said at the epilogue to a solo romanced player who went to the commune with him. There's so many layers of heartbreak here. He is still surprised, six months later, that the player chose him. He even thinks the player will regret it, and will decide they want an adventurer's life after all after seeing everyone else. He doesn't think he is good enough- doesn't think he deserves the player, and yet at the same time he loves them so much that he is heartbroken over the possibility they might agree with him. He thinks that given a chance, there is little chance they would actually choose him again. (He is put at ease quickly when the player promises they picked him for a reason, but even the explanation he gives for why he was so worrie is heartbreaking- that he's so used to a tumultuous life that he thinks something must go wrong. He has been so traumatized so many times over the years that he just has almost no ability to think that true happiness is possible [or deserved] for him.) Something about that is just heartbreaking, even though his ending is one of the happiest of any of the companions.

Someone give this sweet bear man a hug, please :(

[iscdisc]

This is a 2012 take I've had for a while now, and I'm so happy I made art about it today because I genuinely love talking about it !! 🗣️

This isn't meant to be 2012 Leo slander whatsoever, because I adore him and don't think he's terrible or anything (He's literally my favorite pick for the 2012 Turtles-) ! But I do feel that he admittedly had a lot of poor leadership moments at times (Especially in late Season 3 to Season 4- 💀), and I feel like a lot of the burden of having things accessible / ready / or even remotely feasible in order to have Leo's plans actually work out fell on Donnie. Without much appreciation or acknowledgment of that fact from Leo or anyone else for that matter.

I feel like if any of the brothers had a right to argue with Leo about leadership or how things were being run under him, it should have been Donnie, because Donnie had more than enough of a leg to stand on for that argument. I'm not trying to invalidate Raph's feelings or perspective, because I'm not saying I don't understand the angle of him being upset about Leo's blatant favoritism when it came to their Father and that being a big reason why he was so obstinate with Leo- But that aside, I don't feel like he had much of an argument to make when it came to presenting himself as a better option as far as leadership-?? I get retconning canon and that this could've just been the writers depicting Raph in a way that some of you may disagree with, but if we're basing this opinion on the Season 1 episode, "New Girl In Town", we can clearly see that he wasn't very well equipped to fill that role in the way that Leo was. And speaking of that particular episode, it was actually Donnie who stepped up when things were getting really bad with Snakeweed in the sewers- 👀

This is why I depict Raph in this scenario accepting this outcome and not being super defensive or acting like he should be included in the conversation, because I kind of have him admit that he wasn't the best at it-!

I'm also sorry, because there was so much more I wanted to draw, and instead of being able to show those things I'm just going to say them here-! For example, Splinter's involvement in the situation. I pretty much don't have him do anything about the unanimous vote, because in his eyes, this team's dynamic / structure is this team's business and he doesn't really have a place to say whether or not they change who leads the team. Sure he chose Leo in the beginning, but if they decide to come to a different decision, they're fully in the right to do that. So Leo couldn't exactly get Splinter to come to his defense,, 👍 || I also wanted to show more of Donnie and Leo both being pretty content with this new dynamic change after a while ! I somewhat got to explore that with the last image of Leo being able to fully explore his hobby / interest in astronomy, but I also wanted to show Donnie feeling very fulfilled and respected within this group of siblings and friends now that he is the team leader, with that being really satisfying for him ! || I also wanted to show Donnie having his first leader breakdown post the Kraang Invasion of Season 2, with Leo comforting him at the Farmhouse and expressing empathy having been in his position many many times before,, He just never really told his brothers about it because he didn't want them to worry and he honestly felt ashamed for breaking down so much,, <:/

Also, you know I can't resist putting 2012 Jonatello in everything I make, so of course this is going to have Jonatello moments too ! I just didn't get around to it yet- One of those things was going to be Casey becoming the second mechanic in the group in order to take off some of the work load on Donnie since now he's juggling even more than he used to-! The way Casey expresses not only concern but so much support for Donnie gives Donnie butterflies, okay- 👀💜🖤✨ Lmao

I guess the last thing I'll mention is kind of April's role and everything, since I want her to join Mikey in encouraging Leo to really explore himself as an individual now that he doesn't have to be defined by the leadership role anymore ! She's very supportive of him just being able to be himself and figure that out during this time ! But I also wanted her to better explain to Leo why she also agreed with this leadership change, since I can see him feeling a little betrayed by her. With Leo most likely assuming that she would have tried to reason with Donnie or get him to see a different side of the situation. I wanted to be very clear that she did not agree with Donnie because she felt bad for him or because of the weird crush he had on her and she didn't know how to be honest with him, etc. etc., you know what I mean? 👍✨

[gallusrostromegalus]

I simply must know, would the teenage friend groups (dead guys included) of AEIWAM and TPOFATGIF get along? Any standout crossover friendships and/or rivalries?

Ichigo and Tristan recognize the dead-eyed stare of "It's always fucking something" in each other and have a great time standing in the alley and trading their most WTF stories at increasingly loud volume.

Bakura and Orihime are immediate "autistic little weirdo into unexpectedly creepy shit" besties. The rest of the friend groups find them in the local graveyard looking up names on unattended tombstones to see what happened (and pay respects).

Chad immediately gloms onto Joey to be his Emotional Support Human who has conversations with strangers for him. Joey is thrilled to be helpful, and likewise, Chad is his "Remembering the Homework" human.

Serenity smells the violence on Tatsuki and is immediately trying to sign her up for the local SCA. Tatsuki is trying to convince her to attend Karakura High next year so she can beef up the Karate team.

Keigo already knows Rex Raptor and Weevil Underwood from the unhinged web forums they get into arguments on.

Mizurio already knows Mokuba from when Mokuba commissioned one of Mizurio's mob uncles to get one of the BEWD cards through less-than-legal means. Mokuba has immense respect for Mizurio's total disregard for conventional authority and Mizurio the same respect for Mokuba's understated willingness to do violence.

Uryuu and Duke bond over "my dad is completely insane for reasons I can't really discuss with most people" and "it's called FASHION" reasons.

The people who get along best with Seto are Rukia and Renji, because they are used to "autistic bougie severe familial trauma that is fixated on one VERY niche character" nonsense from Byakuya, and know how to auto-translate Seto into Normal People, and also subtly train him to have normal conversations.

The person who gets along with Yami is Isshin- in AEIWAM, Isshin genuinely has amnesia from 1980 onward. He doesn't remember being a captain, and hearing stories about himself is like hearing about a stranger. It's a bizarre feeling of alienation Yami understands well.

Yoruichi sees Mai Valentine and immediately knows that should they go drinking together, it will almost certainly result in major property damage, felonies, and the worst hangover she's ever had, so naturally, she asks the girl to come on a spree with her.

Yugi has always had an easier time making friends with the adults around than his peers- having friends his own age is a very recent development. Due to Grandpa Solomon hanging around the senior center with his peer group of "Old Men With Nothing Better To Do", Yugi is very acclimated to playing board games with random adults. Kisuke Urahara hasn't had anyone kick his ass at Go that hard in a long time, and the kid is strangely canny to things Kisuke *thought* he'd concealed well. Yugi thinks Urahara 's Go game is a little rusty, but whatever the hell espionage game he's playing is REALLY intriguing.

[norris55s]

reputation - lando norris

pop star reader x lando norris social media au

part two - part three

a/n: lando did a very reputation-like helmet and the hamster in my brain started working. rep's songs are also very lando coded to me. faceclaim is soyeon from (G)I-dle

requests are open, but i may get to them late because uni is kicking my ass!

————————————————————————

f1waggossip

f1waggossip: McLaren’s golden boy seems to be newly single… at least that’s what the streets say, considering his last girlfriend, pop star Y/N L/N, has not been seen in months at the paddock following a very public fall out with her former girl squad, and consequent fall from grace from everyone’s eyes. They seemed in love. What do you think?

landonorrizz: honestly, i never understood the hype for her. she has always been a red flag and dramatic!!

mercedesgarage: i don’t get it lol i don’t follow her, what happened?

455chilli: basically she was friends with other singers, models and actresses and they have recently unfollowed her and exposed her for not being as great as everyone thinks

y/nforever: you mean she had a friend group who turned on her out of nowhere? lol what her ex friends have said is based on jealousy

landostareyes: it seems like they broke up but they were really cute together :// i kinda feel bad but she also seems to be the problem

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landonorris

landonorris: p2 cake babyyyyyyyyy

supremey/n: that is my y/n if i’ve ever seen her

formulaonegirl: so they’re still together

carlandocontent: it could be any girl tbh, it’s been months since lando has even mentioned her

papayaheart: it’s even worse if they’re still together and she just won’t show up to support him in races anymore lol

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y/nusername

y/nusername: Reputation. Out November 17.

Comments have been disabled.

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landonorris

landonorris: Are you ready for it? Reputation out November 17.

y/nlandodefender: nothing has ever been as iconic as a Y/N comeback special helmet i am in tears

landolove: reputation helmet to beat the breakup allegations wasn’t on my bingo card

supremey/n: I KNOW THAT’S RIGHT

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f1waggossip

f1waggossip: Y/N re-debuts at the paddock.

y/naura: ohhhhhhh i know some of y'all are MAD but my girl will stay thriving with the album of the year

softlylando: came back with a bang, goddamnnnn

mclarengirly: lando is definitely bagging a podium for her today!!

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landonorris

landonorris: i like her for her

y/nusername: Even in my worst times, you could see the best in me. 🖤

ferrariheart: shut up this is so cute

norrisreputation: mans really said we've been together all this time LMAO

babyfaceoscar: where is everyone who was calling her a red flag and saying her and lando didn't belong together?

dailylando: been real quiet since reputation dropped

magicy/n: i woulda stfu too after she released something like call it what you want, nevermind lando's promotion helmet LMAO

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y/nusername

y/nusername: The Reputation World Tour officially began and I can’t thank you enough for showing up for me, when I thought I couldn’t even show up for myself. I might make the same mistakes, burn bridges and never learn, but I know I did one thing right: have the best, most loyal fans. Also, it seems right to thank the man who inspired me to write way too many love songs for this album, the king of my heart, landonorris. 🖤

landonorris: i believe i was also called gorgeous and stuff

y/nusername: I am truly never complimenting you again

[arouravis]

✳︎ 𝟶𝟸 𝙰𝚂𝚃𝚁𝙾𝙻𝙾𝙶𝚈 𝙾𝙱𝚂𝙴𝚁𝚅𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂 : 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎!

✿ 𝚗𝚘��𝚎: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝!

𝙲𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚘𝚗 𝟷𝚜𝚝 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎:

Having this placement is challenging, yes. But on the brighter side of this placement, once you’re in a place of transformation. You’ll come to realize that certain people are genuinely not for you!

Feeling out of place or not “worthy” can be a strong indication of strong discernment. Think about it from the perspective of how things are a certain way for a reason. Only people who are truly meant to be a part of your life are supposed to be around you. You don’t need a big friend group to feel important.

I'll also say with this placement, there more likely to be popular on the internet than in real life imo. They’re able to show a side of themselves to the masses without having to go out of their way to feel embarrassed or not worthy to be apart of the collective that is “society.”

Ex: Every social media account I have made intending to connect with the masses has always had over 1k+ followers. And even right now, I’ve hit 100 followers in three days! I'm naturally meant to connect with the masses within the shadows lmao.

𝙰𝚚𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚞𝚜 𝚁𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝟽𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎 (𝙻𝚎𝚘 𝚁𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐):

All y’all do is play! Constantly in and out of the dating scene. The type of people to always have someone on role-call when the other person you’re talking to isn’t acting right.

It’s like walking in and taking shifts, you think they’re with one person for like 6-8 months, the whole time they’re on the suitor behind door number 3 lmao. It’s genuinely not something they mean to do, but they move on quick if you’re not acting right.

The type of people to date anybody! They aren’t exactly picky people when it comes to love, but they damn sure have standards.

Lastly, stop dating these creatures that have fallen out of heaven and crawled their way into earth. Please treat your body, mind, and spirit, like the temple that it is.

𝚃𝚊𝚞𝚛𝚞𝚜 𝙼𝚘𝚘𝚗𝚜:

EYE LOVE….. I love Taurus moons. One of the best placements to have ever in all time. These people will understand you from head to toe, and front to back. Will support you, be there for you, and set an example of what exactly a true and stable friendship should be! I’ve only encountered two Taurus moons in my life, and those people are truly the only ones who have ever understood me for me! This is the type of person that can be a strong pillar in your life. This is someone who will probably be one of those friends that you’ve known since 4 and grew up to pay taxes together.

That’s what I love about them, they’re so stubborn in their ways of emotion and compassion. It’s hard to let someone with a Taurus moonwalk away from you because they don’t want to leave! They want to talk and express how they feel, they want to be there for both of you, and they desire longevity and comfort within any relationship. And that’s something I care so deeply for and truly speaks to me.

The way they relay advice is phenomenal, they relate to you and show you their ethos. Whilst also staying level-headed and emotionally mature. They are rational and not afraid to put someone in check!

On the other hand, people with this placement can have issues with taking too much time. A tendency to be late, or be VERY indecisive.

But besides that, there’s no other person like them in this world. We all need someone with a Taurus moon, I LOVE YOU.

𝚂𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚙𝚒𝚘 𝙼𝚘𝚘𝚗:

Y’know all the bad rep that Scorpio suns get for being liars and this, that, and the third? It’s Scorpio Moon's fault! Scorpio suns may lie, but they do it for a reason. Scorpios like to keep things hidden about themselves or certain situations... Scorpio moons do it because they know they have the free will to do so!

It’ll be the tiniest, most random thing that they lie about. It's like they'll tell you the sky is purple, knowing damn well it's blue. And they know that you know they are lying, and they physically enjoy that. It’s come to the point where I will actively tell them they are lying and they’ll act like a poor kitty with its tail tucked away between their legs and with a stupid smug smirk… BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU’RE GUILTY!!

𝚅𝚒𝚛𝚐𝚘 𝙹𝚞𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗 𝟸𝚗𝚍 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎:

If you don’t have money/stability… do not come to their town. They are very bougie and picky with what they like. They’re easily able to spot when things are not “high quality.” And treat them and their body like the temple that it is… and they will judge you for not following suit.

They'll say things like:

Oh… you’re eating that? You're better off not doing that.

I would never wear something like that.

This is not worth the price that it’s for! It should be xyz!

You think a libra Venus knows high quality until they walk in the room…. And the thing is, they try to come off as pleasant as possible when saying it. Because they are genuinely concerned for your well-being.

Absolutely spoiled rotten, never has to worry about finances unless they have to actively pay for something on their own lol. Has their parents on speed dial for a quick 10 bucks. These people have a village who is willing to pour into them because they know they are deserving of the financial comfort an flexibility that they are accustomed to.

✿ 𝚊𝚞𝚛𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚜

[anneapocalypse]

Not gonna lie, analysis of Minfilia that rests on a reading of her as some kind of hiring manager at a company really doesn't sit right with me, not just because it lends itself to some particularly uncharitable readings of Minfilia, but because it seems to me like a pretty inaccurate reading of what the Scions actually are in ARR.

The Scions of the Seventh Dawn are the union of the Circle of Knowing, a group of activist academics who accurately predicted the apocalypse but failed to prevent it and lost their beloved mentor in the process, and the Path of the Twelve, a group for Echo-bearers to help them better understand and make use of their gift--all doing their best to pick up the pieces and protect the realm in the wake of said apocalypse. Minfilia, formerly the leader of the Path of the Twelve, has now been thrust into the position of leadership over both at the late Louisoix's behest. The Scions in ARR aren't a company, they're an activist group, and in ARR still a very small one without the massive web of political connections they fall into later. They don't have a lot of financial resources. They're largely working quietly and behind the scenes. They have a secret code phrase to identify friends of the organization. Being recruited into this group in ARR is closer to being recruited into a resistance cell than being interviewed for a formal job.

Minfilia's role prior to the Calamity was as the leader of a support group for people experiencing a frightening, isolating, and as-yet poorly-understood phenomenon, a group where they could find others like them, understand what's happening to them, and learn how to use their gift for good. And to some extent, this is still a part of her role. The Warrior of Light is brought in because they were witnessed experiencing the Echo, and Minfilia is reaching out to them as a fellow Echo-bearer. I think it's a mistake to interpret her words and actions without that context, particularly her expressed hope that this most recent Echo-bearer she's invited into her group will find something like family there. I mean, listen to the joy with which she says, "I too possess the Echo." She's telling the WoL that they're not alone, that there is a name and an explanation for what they've been experiencing, that they can find others like themselves here. Yes, she's also asking for their help. But this is a pretty far cry from a job interview. However flawed the Scions may be as an organization, I can only see Minfilia's overtures here as offered in the spirit of friendship and camaraderie. And framing that as her trying to build loyalty she can exploit in a corporate manner feels extremely ungenerous given what we know of her character.

I don't want to sound like I'm here to defend the Scions in ARR against any and all criticism--I've discussed my own in the past, from their concerning tendency toward self-sacrifice to the attitude they develop toward the WoL (which is kind of up for interpretation based on your character's relationship to them but which can come across as a cavalier attitude toward the WoL's safety, taking advantage of their unique abilities, etc). In particular, the Scions' experience as a small activist organization, and Minfilia's particular experience as Echo support group leader, has ill-prepared any of them to be thrust into an international spotlight following the defeat of the Ultima Weapon. The attack on the Waking Sands has already revealed the weaknesses in their opsec, and certain scenes in the ARR patch quests reveal something of a power struggle between Minfilia and Alphinaud--one which Alphinaud ultimately wins, because Minfilia lacks the kind of confidence in her position to stand against the force of his personality, and she, like most of the other Scions, starts to fall into the trap of seeing Alphinaud as the second coming of Louisoix and lets him push her around accordingly. Minfilia is simply not equipped or prepared to lead the kind of organization the Scions are turning into. (Urianger, incidentally is one of the few who seems to notice this and remark on it, but also seems to feel that he can't directly object.) The cracks begin to show, and then it all falls apart, and when the Scions finally begin to put themselves back together post-Heavensward, I think they all understand that they can't go back, that what they rebuild will be something new. Over the next few expacs I think we see them developing a new group identity, recognizing that that old model no longer serves them and doing their best to adapt to constantly changing circumstances.

The Scions in ARR have plenty of problems, but they're not a for-profit company and they're also not the same organization as the Scions of later expacs. I think that context needs to be taken into account when interpreting their actions, especially those of their leader.

[greatandholypangolin]

am I wrong for saying “shoutout to asexuals”?

ok so recently, whenever a conversation has died or whatever, I’ll just say “shoutout to asexuals” and then move on, because, idk, it’s a bit funnygoofy and also I like my asexual friends. Anyway, I said it in front of my mother and she said not to do it anymore, because it could be seen as “othering” people with asexuality. I don’t see it that way at all, but I wouldn’t like to be accidentally homophobic, so I’m using a poll to get real asexual opinions

for reference, I’m bisexual, and my mother knows that, so I am part of the LQBTQ+ community, but I’m (maybe) not asexual. I’ve been thinking about things around the aro/ace spectrum, based on past experiences, but I feel as though I’m not sure enough to give myself any proper labels. My mother doesn’t know about that part.

so, my mother’s arguments:

It may seem like I’m “othering” the asexual community by saying that

its like being the a white girl in a room with a few black people in it and saying “shoutout to black people” - it feels weird to her

im not saying it because I genuinely want to support asexuals, I’m saying it as more of a verbal tic

my 2 asexual friends agreeing is not a large enough group, even if they both are fine with it, others may not be

and my arguments are:

Im saying it to include asexuals, because they can sometimes feel disregarded in LGBTQ+ spaces

its pride month, literally the best time to give random unprovoked asexuality shoutouts

Idk, I feel like asexual people wouldn’t really be offended by that

both of my asexual friends think it’s hilarious and encourage me to keep going

it’s like a cis person saying “yay trans pride” at random moments and being told not to because it’s making trans people feel more separate

im not othering asexual people, I’m celebrating them

also pls reblog this around I want the largest possible data set so I know if I’m problematic or not

[martian-astro10]

Arudha lagna in signs (sidereal chart, whole signs)- Part 1

- I explained how to calculate it in this post

AL in ARIES- People can see you as someone who is very impulsive, rash but also brave and courageous. You may be seen as someone who very easily gives in to their emotions, and can be especially blunt when angry. People may think that you don't like asking others for help even when you clearly need it. You can be seen as ambitious and determined as well. I feel like rather than being seen as the leader people are more likely to perceive you as someone who does the dirty work, this maybe because you are not afraid to get your hands dirty and don't give that much of a fuck about your reputation. Honestly, some very stereotypical traits that people might associate you with, are: impatient, headstrong, hot tempered, angry, and rebellious, and tbh i know someone who has their AL in Aries and this is EXACTLY how I perceive them as, the funniest part is that the person is a cancer ascendant....tells you everything really. You can be really loyal though, like once someone enters your inner circle, you'll not let anyone harm them. People will perceive you as more positive or negative depending on which planets are aspecting the AL. If it's only negatives, then people will see only the bad qualities of that sign in you, but if it's aspected by benefics, then they'll see the positives of the sign in you.

AL in TAURUS - my best friend has this, so I'm definitely gonna sound biased. People can see you as someone who is very trustworthy, understanding and hard working. You can act like a pillar of support for the people around you. You are very emotionally intelligent as well, and this may actually be one of the main reasons why people like you so much. You know those people in groups who always let the introvert speak, that's you. You can be very stubborn tho, and that's really annoying. You may be seen as someone who will stick to their (wrong) opinions even when facts and information contrary to that is presented, you are seen as delusional tbh. I've noticed that men with AL in Taurus are actually the biggest man children, also can be abusive. You can be seen as someone who always ends up doing hard work instead of smart work, not really known for being smart tbh, I'm sorry 😭. I feel like that's a good quality tho, because you will keep on digging a hole until you find the diamond and then your life is set, because if there's one thing that you guys don't do, it's giving up. If it's more positively aspected then people will see the positives of the sign in you and vice versa.

AL in GEMINI - You guys are seen as someone who is really good at making connections and has great communication skills. They may also see you as someone who is made for the corporate world, since you guys are really good at sucking up to people in power 👀 (that's good tho). Since it's gemini, people think that you are someone who is not loyal to anybody, you'll change jobs if someone offers you more money even if the previous company's boss helped you out of poverty. People can associate you with the quote "a friend to all is a friend to none". I have a friend with this and she is in all the clubs that our university offers, so again, you guys can be great multi taskers and may have this urge to do EVERYTHING that you can. You know those people who are like "my exam was so bad, I'm gonna fail 😔" and then score 97, yeah, that's you. You guys are also seen as kind and friendly, you may always be willing to lend a helping hand to someone in need and this is what makes people remember you. People like to be around you since you always make them feel welcomed. If it's more positively aspected then people will see the positives of the sign in you and vice versa.

AL in CANCER - I know 2 people with this, and they're the KINDEST people i know. I feel like with this, it doesn't even matter what ascendant you have, because you're actually a helpful person and people see it because of your actions towards others. You can be a creative person as well, like, you may have a blog where you only post your art pieces, poems or something like that. You may be seen as someone who is very clingy and affectionate towards people you love. May also be people pleasers and can be seen as someone who is constantly looking for others validation, and ofc, with this comes avoidance of confrontation, which leads to you forming unhealthy relationships. I do feel like their motivation for helping others is validation since they don't like to be rejected or seen as someone who is "rude", like, they'll help someone just so the other person calls them "nice". You guys may also defend your family even when they're shit, they will be just straight up abusive towards you but when other people point it out, you say "they're not THAT bad". People may also see you as someone who would be more into polyamorous relationships. Lastly, you guys are seen as indecisive, one day you want this the other day you want that (this goes for objects as well as people). If it's more positively aspected then people will see the positives of the sign in you and vice versa.

AL in LEO- my sister has this, so this is going to be the most accurate. First and foremost, BORN ENTERTAINERS. My mom was telling us that when my sister was young, like 5-7 years old and people would come to our house, she would sing and just welcome them like a host, we also have videos of her doing this, so definitely no doubt about that. People can see you as a creative person, but unlike Cancer people, the creativity is more in the face, like acting, singing, hosting, things that require you to be in front of an audience. You guys can be very charismatic and may have a lot of admirers as well. Very romantic, passionate, magnetic and confident. People may also see you as someone who is constantly being asked out, by all the genders. Now to the negative part, people can think that you're very defensive even when others are not attacking you. You can also be an attention seeker, the kind of person who only posts pictures in which everyone else except them is looking like shit. It's okay if you don't relate to this, but I've honestly seen that these people get so much pleasure when other people's partners give them attention.......yeah, I've seen this MANY times, tbh. Also, you can get easily manipulated, all a person has to do is call you amazing, beautiful and gorgeous and BAM, you're trapped. If it's more positively aspected then people will see the positives of the sign in you and vice versa.

AL in VIRGO- people who have been following me for a long time know that I have a soft spot for virgos, so this is going to be a little biased. I feel like this is the best AL to have. People see you as this harmless introvert. You may be more of an observer than a participant in others life. People may see you as someone who is talented and capable of great things and yet remains humble. You may not like to make small talk and stick to your own business. You may be seen as someone who is very intelligent and great at what they do which will help you gain the favour of people older than you. People may also think that you're stressed all the time. They may not like working with you because of your over critical nature, so you may end up all alone, which is actually what you wanted in the first place, so all good. You know when moms are like "nobody helps me, i have to do everything by myself" but then you help them, and they don't like it so they start doing that again, that's you. You guys may also be very selective with who you hang out with so people may think that it's very hard to be your friend and get close to you. This is another AL that people perceive as someone who does not ask for help even when they need it. If it's more positively aspected then people will see the positives of the sign in you and vice versa.

Click here for Part 2

© martian-astro All rights reserved, 2024

[ssivinee]

❥ 𝚂𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚜

Twice! Minatozaki Sana x Baroness! F reader [Historical AU]: Long ago, in an era in Japan where hierarchy dominated every aspect of everyday life. Sana was the kind princess of your land who was fated for a horrible future when it came to love. Meanwhile, you were a mere baroness within a corrupt system, and Sana's fate would be the one affecting you.

Word Count: 12.3 k

Author's Note: Everything in this story may NOT be historically accurate, but I did try my best! Beweare of the ANGSTTTTT. I actually reallllyyyyy enjoyed this one hopefully, you like it as much as I do🤩.

Req: @rd0265667 when she was young, she had heard the prophecy from the wizard “your love will stretch for all eternity” she refused to accept it, unwilling to let fate or prophecy dictate her life, but in the end, the wizard was right though your love stretched out for all eternity, they only met for but a moment, for you loved her too early, and she loved you too late

➳ Character Concept - Takeda Y/n

Japan in the 1500s was a completely different era from modern times. Almost all of the country’s power was decentralized, leading to many conflicts throughout the years. 

However, one consistent thing was that women weren’t treated respectfully unless they had power.

A clear example of this is your current situation.

You were from the Takeda Clan, a growing group of recognized Samurai within the Japanese military. Being in a clan like that sounded great, but… you were a woman. 

Your fellow Takeda men didn’t exactly take too kindly to their counterparts, and being the alpha males in sectors, they can be.

Why? Well, because Takeda’s are low-ranked in the noble hierarchy, although you were somewhat lucky in life. 

Your mother is a baroness from a higher family who married into the Takeda family, and your father is Japan’s famous general known as ‘The Oni.’ So, by age thirteen, you had particular duties and a reputation to uphold. Many servants would gossip, saying you were important but not important enough. 

Just to a certain extent.

That was something you always heard, especially when meeting other royalties. 

“Y/n? She’s the girl with an overprotective father. You can’t be friends with her.”

“Don’t expect so much from that one; she just has to sit there, represent her family, and look adorable.”

“Poor child has no future for her.”

It was tough being in a family known for male dominance while being a woman of higher rank. So you steered clear of most people, trying to take on caretaking instead.

Walking through Kyoto's extensive gardens, you made your way to the training grounds near the barracks. You stabilized the large woven basket on one side of your waist, hooking your arm under it for support.

Your eyes travel inside the large container, the warm batch of bread still steaming from the cloth covering it. The sweat on your forehead granted a break on the nearby bench, fearing you’d drop the delicacies.

Sitting on the upcoming bench, you hoped for the shade to come above while wiping away any sweat using a washcloth. “This damn heat,” you mumble under your breath. 

Your body was never one to cooperate with the heat, becoming sick often after a tiring day out. Rather than being able to complain about the heat in peace, you hear a pitchier voice coming towards you near the camellia bushes.

“Mother would love the vibrance of these,” the girl knees down, her beautiful white and gold kimono grazing the grass. She kept her hair up in a large bun with a large white ribbon keeping it together.

Her delicate fingers touched the flowers, lifting them to her nose. She tried to smell the camellias' aroma. Then, she took the gardening shears, snipped long stems, and placed the flowers in a small bamboo basket.

Your eyes travel back to your basket of bread, thinking the kinder thing to do was give an extra piece, just for some energy. “Uhm, excuse me?”

Her neck whips to turn her head, her face full of surprise. You see her eyes dart down to the small piece of bread in your hands. “You seem to be working hard in the heat, and I had some extra so here.” 

She stands up as she takes the bread, a cute smile forming. The bright smile almost took you aback, her adorable squirrel-like cheeks expanding. “How kind of you,” she mumbles, taking a small bite. You hear a muffled squeal, making you giggle lightly.

“Uhm, uhm,” she looks around frantically, trying to find a quick gift. Once her eyes land on her own basket, her eyes grow wide with a bright idea in mind. “Here, please accept this as gratitude,” her small hands hand you the pink flower, and you bow, accepting it graciously.

“You didn’t have to.”

“You were looking out for me. It’s the least I could do,” She expresses, her bubbling personality showing with the next bite she took, stuffing her mouth. She then began to wonder, “Is that for the samurai?”

She sees your eyes grow wide, “Yes! This is. Thank you for reminding me, actually. I shall be on my way.” You bow, and as you rush off, a servant rushes past you out of breath.

“Sana-sama! I told you not to go on without me at your side!” Your brain couldn’t even process the words as you dashed all the way to the other side of the garden.

Your trembling breath had you almost gasping for air, but when the large doors opened, you strained yourself at seeing your father. “Father,” you bow, and he stares at you for a minute before having a servant take the large basket.

“You’re late, Y/n,” he stands there, and all you can do is a deep bow. “I apologize, Otou-san. I took a quick break and suddenly had a run-in with…” you take a deep breath, knowing the reaction you’d get.

“The princess.”

You wouldn’t dare look into his eyes, but you heard the grumble that came out of his mouth. “We’ve spoken of this. You shouldn’t be in the vicinity of the princess! If you hadn’t taken a break, this would’ve been avoided!” You feel the anger radiating off of his voice.

“It will never happen again, Otou-san,” he sighs heavily but nods. “Good. Now, prepare in the next room. Your training will begin shortly.” 

Without another word, you went into the next room. It was an open dojo-like space; you take off your getas, placing them outside the room. You feel the texture of the tatami flooring under your feet. The cushioning makes you feel bouncier.

“We should check on your conditioning today. Kimono off,” your father authorizes. As you remove the basic gown, you reveal that you are wearing a thin black tank top.

Your father’s eyes trail down to your arms; the short bruises of yellow and green can be seen forming over older scaring. “Are you feeling rigid?” He asks with a gentle touch, lifting up your arms as he scans you. “No, I feel good.”

“Perfect answer,” he says, grabbing a large wooden stick that was close to his height. “You're 16 now, Y/n. People may say you don’t have a responsibility, but I will not let my own child be a pushover.” 

You nod acceptingly, “I understand, father.” People may not view you as anything but a mere woman, but despite your father’s brut nature, he was always willing to protect you and your mother.

He’s a gentleman, the only one you know personally. “Now take stance,” he announces.

Your knees bend slightly, head leans slightly forward, and your left arm is in front of your body. While taking place, your father jabs the stick forward, causing a speedy reaction from you. Instinctively, you lean your body to the left as quickly as possible, then use the palm of your hand to push it away.

“Good,” your father states, but you knew it wouldn’t end there. He began moving the stick quicker and quicker. Your body could keep up with the fast pace as it was your usual routine. 

There were times when you would get hit, hence the small bruises you would receive. Your father intentionally did this. He believed that at least, in the future, your pain tolerance would be high enough to be able to endure many.

The training is followed by giving you a kendo stick to stimulate katana practice. Due to clan regulations, women could not be samurai, nor could they hold a weapon. Many men believed women should stay pure, and if not, they weren’t worthy of marriage. 

Despite your father being the head, an entire force of men wanting this rule was something he couldn’t oppose as it was also a long part of their history. Women were also quite accepting of the rule because of that.

Your body felt much more exhausted due to the heat, yet it never stopped your father with his relentless training. But after six hours, he made you go home as time struck five in the afternoon.

You quickly dash home, trying to beat the thirty-minute mark. Before six p.m. hit, you needed to clean yourself up, start cooking dinner, and make tea.

It was a tiring routine, but something you’ve become used to since the age of ten.

Your days were lengthy, but it was the usual. Before dawn, you would have to get up and get ready for the rest of your day. Then, in the next hour, you cook breakfast for your family and eat in the same hour. While your parents do their duties under royalties, you clean the house for two hours, then study the two hours after. 

At ten, you’d have to make your way to the servants' quarters for the batches of bread for the samurai. After delivering, there would be one-on-one training with your father for six hours. It also doesn’t just stop at the shower, dinner, and tea; there is also extra studying about herbs and first-aid due to your mother.

It was a strenuous lifestyle, but you were somewhat fond of it. Everything you were taught, you believed, would make you a better person as you were pushing yourself to find new skills.

Back to the task at hand, you washed up quickly and changed. Then, you prepared a quick meal of miso soup, rice, and fish. When your mother and father came home, you all had a meal together.

“Have you begun your studies today, Y/n?” You hear your mom. You nodded and sipped green tea, “I began while preparing for dinner.” Your mom looked at you with her sweet eyes, a proud smile.

“Just get thirty minutes of herbal studies in tonight. Your father told me you had an unusual day today.” Your eyes flash up to your dad's face, who is focused on his soup, and your eyes travel to your mother, whose brows are raised.

“It was an accident, okāsan-”

“Y/n,” she gives a stern voice, cutting you off. “It’s okay. I promise.” Your father looks at her with furrowed brows, giving her a ‘don’t encourage the child look.’ 

Her eyes soften at her husband, “Princess Minatozaki is a wonderful child, the complete opposite of the queen. I assure you she won’t tell her mother.”

“We can’t assume that she just won't find out,” he declares, and your mother looks slightly conflicted. “You know that better than anyone, Reiko.”

“I will keep our child safe, Hideo. Even if it takes my life,” you and your father go silent at your mother’s heavy words. Having a loving family in this lifetime has its ups and downs. It made you often wonder if you could ever truly be happy in a world like your own.

Your appetite suddenly changes, and your parents look at you as you stand from your spot. You bow out of respect and excused yourself to study and get into bed. You weren’t about to deal with that conversation.

It was something your parents always talked about, becoming a constant broken record in your mind. You knew there would come a day when your mother’s words would actually come true.

‘Even if it takes my life.’ Somewhat becoming your parent’s motto.

You stare at yourself in the mirror, the background consisting of your bed, side table, and little vase faded behind you. The words of your parents clouded your mind once again, but you felt a switch in your mind go off.

If you had the power to change the fate of your life, you would do so… even if it takes your life.

Today was the eighteenth birthday of the princess, and it had been two years since you first met her. Your mother, fortunately, was correct.

The princess was a kind young woman who never mirrored the queen's personality. Though you only had a handful of instances of interacting with the princess, your family would be invited to her birthday.

It was only right as your father was their famous general, and your mother was their trusted right hand. You stood near the far right of the large room, away from the crowd of royalties who would just gossip about you. 

Your body was adorned in a beautiful deep violet, the color that represented the Takeda clan well. The kimono hugged your waist, the cute silver bow in the back cinching it to a tea. 

No one dared to bother you, your eyes roaming around the large hall instead. Everyone wore elegant kimonos, and the young men especially wore bolder colors to catch her attention. She was turning of age, after all.

It would be assumed that the king and queen would find her the most fitting partner as her husband. 

Thinking about it only caused your brain to grow exhausted. Every ‘man’ that lingered around her, was an ignorant, arrogant, and naive noble that chased for that small taste of power.

You were well aware that the princess didn’t deserve someone like that. You could count your interactions on one hand, but her honest nature made you feel like you could’ve been friends in some other lifetime.

After giving her the small piece of bread all those years ago, you did your best to avoid her. Although, to your own dismay, it seemed like fate had other plans for the two of you.

The second instance had you stunned. It was on a cold night, and your father seemed to be in a sour mood. The day was harsher for you, which led you to get punished.

Your father wasn’t so harsh, but as a ‘normal’ punishment, he would hit you five times with the wooden staff. At that point in your life, it wasn’t painful anymore, your body getting used to the feeling.

You were near the pond, using a wet washcloth to help soothe the bruising and bleeding on your shoulders. Your kimono was slid down on your arm ever so slightly, the moonlight shining upon the pond’s waters.

Regardless of what occurred, at least the night was soothing in your mind. “I didn’t expect anyone to be here,” you flinched at the voice and quickly hid the cloth as she came into your view. 

You stood up quickly and bowed, “Princess,” and Sana shook her hand in a wave. “Please, sit down. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

To your surprise, she sat next to you as if it were merely nothing, “I just needed some time away from my parents.”

That night, you got to know a different version of her. Given that everything you heard by now was only hearsay, this was something raw and vulnerable. Without even knowing it, that night went on with the princess expressing her struggles to you.

As she rambled, you just listened. Every interaction after that was the same way as well. You liked to think that you became her ‘once in a blue moon secret therapist.’

The thought always made you chuckle a little. She didn’t know you, know your status compared to her… nothing. Yet every time you coincidently saw each other, she seemed to not mind any of that.

Your eyes traveled to the large crowd forming in the middle, surrounding the royal family. Instead of watching every noble declare some form of their love to her, you decided to slip out of the palace.

You breathed in the fresh air, closing your eyes as you felt the sensation of the cold wind against your skin.

You always favored this time, where it usually held a peaceful silence. Your long days of work were hectic, always consisting of training and studying nowadays. This was a need in your routine. Not only that, a year ago, your father had made sure you’d begin shadowing him and his work.

He told you, “No matter the laws of this clan, you will always be my successor.” It made you stay diligent, aware, and colder than everyone else. They never valued you anyway, so you didn’t see the harm in your change.

“You're very good at escaping places you don’t want to be, huh?” You heard that voice yet again. You knew who it was, even if your eyes were shut this entire time. “Somehow, you always find me, princess,” you open your eyes to find her standing on your right.

Her large, layered kimono swept the flooring. The white fabric and its gold trim decorated her body. You watched as her fingers traveled toward her hair, taking the pins out of the large bun and making sure her hair flowed down instead.

She seemed to let her hair down every time she saw you, saying, “She felt more comfortable this way.” Sana seems to follow your actions, eyes looking far into the distance. “What did it feel like?”

You look at her curiously, not understanding the question, “What do you mean, princess?” 

“What did it feel like when you officially turned into a young woman?”

The question had you freeze like a storm and had your brain brewing in thought. Were you to answer her honestly or sugarcoat it? “I would like you to be frank with me,” she stated kindly as if she were reading your thoughts.

You chuckled, and her eyes glinted with a touch of surprise. She had never heard you have this sense of happiness, “When I turned into a young woman… it was brutal. We live different lives, princess. That’s the harsh reality.”

After you spoke, the tranquility filled the air again. Sana knew her life was privileged, but between you and her, she believed you two weren’t so different. Maybe that was her own fault for being so uneducated about you. She was the one who always spoke in comparison to you, and she realized that now.

“Can you please tell me more?” You heard the hesitance in her voice, her eyes looking down. 

“Well, otou-san began training me properly without a care. He told me of the plausible future our nation has and how I should be ready for it. Okāsan, on the other hand, made sure I studied a variety of things. My education mainly consisted of herbs, first aid, medicine, and our history. I also tended the house the majority of the time.”

Sana listened to the list in silence and felt the exhaustion weigh her body down. She didn’t even live your life nor get to experience it, but it just sounded physically straining. 

“Do you ever wish… we lived in an equal world, Y/n?” 

Your eyes widened at her suddenly saying your name. She knew of it? Maybe you kept telling yourself that she didn’t that you began believing it. “Uhm—y-yea. I do.”

You wanted to punch yourself at the stutter. “I want to create a nation where our foundation was equality.” Her words surprised you and made your heart swell. For nineteen years of your life, the looming thought was always in the back of your mind. 

‘You would always be nothing as a woman.’ 

But Sana’s kind heart gave you some hope, and you were willing to hold onto that for as long as you could.

You close your eyes again, thinking of the future that she envisioned, “I’ll wait for that world. Even in the afterlife.” 

Sana felt her feet grow heavy as if it was impossible for her to move after that. She couldn’t fathom the pressure of your words. The princess bows deeply towards you, her eyes brimming with tears. You look around frantically, knowing you’d surely be in trouble if anyone saw the sight, but when she raises her head, and you see her face, you instinctively relax.

She looked at you with a bright smile, her eyes glistening more under the dark skies. “I appreciate your support. It means a lot to me,” she voiced. Your heart raced as she stared into your eyes, feeling your body heating up. You forced yourself to look away.

“As the future of the nation, I will, of course, trust you,” you mumble, but you made it clear to her. After the elongated stillness, she excused herself, stating she had to be somewhere before the end of the night. Deciding to head off to sleep with an early morning ahead of you, Sana was escorted to a slim tower at the edge of the land. 

Her men helped her out of her palanquin, and she paces herself to the front door. She took a deep breath and then knocked in a specific pattern. The princess waited a few seconds until she heard a voice behind the door, “You may enter.”

She pushed the heavy door open, a man's back coming into view. “I have been waiting for you, Princess Minatozaki,” the depth of his voice made him feel a rumble beneath her feet. 

The “wizard,” or Onmyōji, is known in Japan. They were known for being tasked with things like keeping track of our calendar, warding off evil spirits, and being protectors for the people as well. What civilians didn’t know, though, was that Onmyōji worked closely with the royal family.

They would read their prophecies.

This enabled royalties to prepare properly for their futures. This would be done every ten years of their lifetime. The royalty was told to do this with the high possibility of the prophecies changing over time, as age and experiences were a large factor.

When Sana stepped foot in the tower for the first time when she was eight, her father had accompanied her. The first reading was always a big accomplishment for any royal, and he wasn’t willing to miss it.

The only thing was Sana’s prophecy was… dark. Her father did her best to cheer her up, telling her there were always more chances in the future for something different. So she waited and waited for this day to come once again.

She stood there, a sense of uncertainty looming over her. The elderly-looking man faced her, her large beard and tall hat covering any sign of emotion or proper facial features. “I am glad to see you doing well,” she said, bowing at his kindness. He gestured his hand toward a plush chair. “Please take a seat.”

Sana sat down slowly, the eerieness of the tower making the palms of her hands sweat. “I am aware that our meeting last time… wasn’t so pleasant for you, young one.”

She looks up from her seat, debating whether or not she should voice out her concern. “Do not fret, young one. Prophecies always change,” he circles back, behind a large podium that held an equally large book. “This shall be quick, so you may go on and have a nice rest.”

Sana could only nod, her throat feeling dry at the aura of the place. “We will begin now,” he announced, taking a deep breath in. She could never see his emotions as his hands hovered over the book as if he were casting upon the dead. It took a minute, but it felt like an eternity until she heard a deep breath.

She had never heard the Onmyōji make that sound. They were always straight to the point with things and never showed any other emotion, but his hands fell onto the book, the tips of his fingers feeling heavy than usual.

“How odd…” His voice felt like it faded through her ears. “I have never seen something like this in my lifetime,” and Sana’s heart dropped at that. She already knew the unfortunate words that were awaiting her.

“Your love will stretch for all eternity,” he spoke slowly.

It stayed the same.

Sana’s fist clenched against the armrest, “this cannot be true,” her voice weak. Her anger could be felt, but Sana wouldn’t dare blame the older man for this. “You should not let this dictate you. It can always change-”

“You may not tell me that. You may not act like a light in the darkness when I have been told the same thing from ten years ago,” her words hung heavy on the heart of the old man, who couldn’t help but feel sorry for her.

“I will take my leave now,” she rushed out, seating herself back into her palanquin. “Back to the palace, now!” She spoke frustrated to her men, who carried her without question.

Once Sana got back to her home, her mother and father waited at their thrones, seeing their daughter walk past in a hurry. “Halt in your steps, Sana,” she heard her mother’s authoritative voice, having her pause in her position.

“What’s the rush?”

She couldn’t bear to look into her mother’s eyes, knowing she would probably break. On the other hand, her father stared for about thirty seconds before realizing her dark mood. “Is it-”

Before he can finish his sentence, Sana shakes her head slowly. All his father could do was leave his throne and give her a warm hug. “Everything will be okay, sweetie. Go forth to your room and get some rest for tonight,” Sana nods, and he whispers, “I’ll take care of your mother; do not worry.”

Sana bows and heads off, “Hold on now, young la-”

Her stern voice is cut off by her husband's gaze. The usual warm and loving king had a hardened look on his face. “Let our daughter breathe, Hotaru. She’ll tell you when she’s ready.”

“The last time you guys said that I never found out!”

“Well, maybe if you weren’t so hard on her, you would’ve known the moment we came back home all those years ago!” He argued back, which quickly shut her up. She knew she wasn’t the greatest mother, but she did her best as a leader and a mom.

She watched as her husband left the room, likely to check on their princess, the harsh reality of his words sinking in. 

Sana curled herself in bed, changing into a long night down, which helped settle her anxiety even a little. The soft knocks on the door had her look up, seeing her father peek his head into the room.

“I hope I’m not intruding, sweetie,” he comes in, shutting the door quietly as he sits next to her. “Otou-san, he said for all eternity,” she whispers, her eyes tearing up once again. “Sana, you know that isn’t always going to say the same.”

“But it hasn’t happened for hundreds of years!” Her father listened, his child’s desperation breaking his heart. 

“Will no one ever love me?” She whimpers, hugging her knees even tighter. The king shakes his head, taking her into his arms. Sana felt the soothing head pats and rubs on her shoulder, “Impossible. You're too beautiful inside and out for no one to notice.”

The comment made the girl smile, but as silence went on, it got her thinking. “What if it becomes too late?”

“It’s never too late to be in love, Sana,” her father told her with a grin, but she knew he meant every word.

From that night onward, Sana couldn’t help but bury herself within her princess duties. The both of you seemingly stay busy and find no room to breathe. Yet, since the night you talked to each other, neither of you seemed to mind.

You pushed yourself hard through training and studies to avoid ever thinking of the beautiful woman. Meanwhile, Sana did it for the sake of her fragile heart.

It was a sunny day about four months after the birthday celebration, and you were in the training grounds with your father. As you were becoming more serious in your efforts within the Takeda clan, your father gave you the liberty of training with a real sword two months ago.

The sword you usually used was a simple katana, just something to work with in the meantime. Here, you breathed harshly as you trained, your dad staring at you pleased. “You always improve at such a rapid pace,” the both of you sheathed the katanas on your waists.

You bow to him with a proud smile on your face, paying no mind to some of the samurai around you. Many of them usually gossiped or had disdained faces due to the sight of you with a weapon. That, however, quickly shifted when a man declared a duel.

With your father observing and maintaining the fight, you quickly proved them wrong. They still felt some way, which you couldn’t blame them, as it was a custom for thousands of years in the family.

But they couldn’t do anything about it.

Your father looked at you as you walked towards the exit, “Have you had rest, my child?” He sees your brows raised, looking at him in curiosity. “Whatever do you mean, otou-san?”

“You’ve been going at this routine for months, Y/n. Have you been taking care of yourself?” You didn’t say anything, not even moving, and you heard him sigh. “Come with me. I shall show you something.”

He led the way toward home, and the sun shined brightly as usual. You couldn’t help but shield your eyes with the sleeves of your kimono. Your eyes followed your father, but you got a glimpse of the camellias. Those same flowers that caused the first interaction between you and the princess.

The flowers were still bright, but you noticed the leaves looking… sick? You then looked ahead as the sun blinded you, realizing rain hadn’t fallen in a while.

Without even realizing it, you and your father reach home, where both of you take off your tabs. You follow him to the back room, where a large open space is. “Take a seat,” he says, quickly kneeling on the cushions. He then takes out a long box from the closet and sets it down on the table in front of you.

“Open it,” he says as he sits in the same position in front of you. You stare at the long, hefty-looking box, not knowing if he was being for real. For the first time in a while, he gave you a smile and nodded as a sign to do so.

Your fingers felt the smooth finish of the wooden box as you opened the lid. You found thick piles of straw surrounding a beautiful katana. The weapon was in a black scabbard, but your eyes trail to its handle.

The cool-toned silver had your eyes twinkling as the cord wrap designed around it took over the clan color of a deep violet. While admiring it, you wouldn’t dare touch such a beauty.

Looking back at your father, you couldn’t even think straight, “May I ask why you’ve shown me this?”

“It’s yours,” those words had you straighten your back quickly, “W-what?” 

He delicately picked up the weapon with two hands and presented it to you with a smile, “It was supposed to be for your twentieth birthday, but you’ve been working hard these past few months. I had to reward your hard work promptly.”

You hesitantly take the katana and stand up. Taking a deep breath with your eyes closed, you unsheathed the katana and stared at the beautiful, long silver blade. “You must use this for good, Y/n.”

You nod at your father furiously, and he chuckles, “But in a serious matter, you know you may not carry this on your person.” The sad reality is that it crushed your happiness within a few seconds. You took the acknowledgment of your father and his gift as a win, just bowing in agreement.

Later that night,, you sat in the center of the garden, the beautiful greenery turning dark andas the sun set. You sat on the stone benches, looking at the plain dark blue sky like you usually did.

“We seem to always meet during these hours and in odd places,” you hear to your far right. You look over and see Sana in a light blue kimono. “You’d be right on that,” she heard as she sat beside you. On the other hand, you shut your eyes, just listening to the hushed wind.

“It’s been a long time since we have last seen each other.”

“We’re at an age that gives us less freedom, princess,” she nods in agreement and stares at the dark garden. “Is something on your mind?” She asked with her sweet voice, and you smiled thankfully.

“The world is just unfair,” you say tiringly, and Sana frowns, “tell me about it.”

Her grumpy tone had your brain screaming at you to ask what was wrong, but you wanted her to tell you when she was ready. That’s how it always had been between the two of you, but Sana’s question catches you off guard instead.

“What caused you to be out here?”

You blink your eyes open for more clarity, the dark scenery flooding your eyes once again. “Just the reality of my life. I feel it is changing, which is a win, but not quick enough for people to realize there has to be a change.”

Sana listened to the quick summary, just nodding her head. “The Takeda’s have always been ruthless when it comes to women. I’m sure it’ll change someday,” you can only bite your lips bitterly, thinking, ‘Hopefully you’re right.’

“How about you?”

Sana pauses, thinking clearly for the first time in months. “I… want to change my fate, but I’m not sure it’s possible,” she says, which intrigued you. Your eyes become drawn to her figure, and she looks at the sky like she did a few minutes ago.

“Fate is never final,” your voice was barely above a whisper as you stared at her face. A cheeky smile formed, which made you blush, but you couldn’t look away from the beauty beside you.

“Those are some buoyant words.”

“Your heart… is too kind to fear what life throws at you,” you express, and Sana closes her eyes. With a smile still on her face, you see a tear cascade down her face.

Your fingers worked on their own, wiping the diamond-looking tear away, and she didn’t even jolt at your touch. “We live in a time where many changes will need to be made, and many changes will happen. It’s a matter of how we go about it day by day.”

Sana opens her eyes and turns her head, making eye contact with you for the first time tonight. You freeze, but your face doesn’t betray you as your eyes look at her longingly. 

“You’re very good at this,” you look at her confusingly. “Good at what?”

“Making me feel better.”

She looks away, reminiscing about the first time you met. “Even when we first met, Y/n. You knew what to say, what to do, just making me feel… happy again.”

Your heart races at her words, and you want to smack yourself. You couldn’t fall any more than you already have for her. Rather than saying anything more like advice, your eyes stare at the flowers in front of you.

“I’ll always be here if you need it then. I’ll do my best to always make you feel happy.”

Later that night, after escorting Sana to the front of the palace, you lay in bed. Staring at the ceiling, you could only think about Sana, causing you to cover your eyes with the palms of your hand as you feel the flush rising on your face once more.

“I may be done for in this life.”

A year later, you find yourself in a large hall within the royal palace. You stood behind your father, who was seated at a table with higher-ranking nobles. 

The day you realized the rain hadn’t poured in a while had become a curse amongst the entire country. You all had fallen into a country-wide drought, and it had been so long that many nations were becoming desperate.

And desperation would lead to dangerous people.

“What do we do about Kyushu?” An older woman asks, and she looks at the queen. 

Your mother also stood in the room behind the royal, who kept her eyes shut. “What do we know right now?” She voices and looks at your father.

“My men informed me yesterday night that Kyushu has been making moves amongst the southern nations without any breaks. Many have been massacred for the sake of poultry and crops. In terms of deaths, my men could only account for approximately forty thousand, but they believe the number is far larger than that.”

“So Kyushu is coming up from the South? Surely Kyoto will be next,” an old man voices out his concerns. “With the pace they’re going at, it will take some time. We have about three more nations in between us, which garner up to eight hundred thousand men.”

“So it sounds like they’ll take about two months before getting here,” another older woman in glasses says. “That’s if they don’t hold other samurai hostages,” the queen says sternly, and everyone goes silent.

Your father looks at her, determination in his eyes, “I assure you we’ll be ready, your highness.”

“All one million, five hundred thousand of you?”

He gives a kurt nod, and she sighs. “Well then, you're in charge of that anyway. Make sure we’re prepared, and at the next meeting, we’ll speak of economic stature next time. Meeting adjourned.”

Your father stands up, and both of you bow, then walk out. As the two of you stroll the hallway, he expressed that he planned on announcing new regimens at the barracks, but he wanted to speak to you at home.

You decided to go into the library, wanting to study while you had the time. Being in the library seemed to always be an exciting experience for you, always finding something new in another book you’ve never read before.

Sitting down with a new book in hand, you open it and see the pages full of drawn pictures. It seemed to be a newly added book that was freshly written, finding the name of a well-known doctor of the royal family. 

Your eyes would focus on reading each page of the book, pictures of stitching, herbs used as plasters, and cleaning wounds. Despite them just being drawings, it was descriptive and quite graphic but not anything you couldn’t handle.

After two hours, you were a little more than halfway into the book when an unexpected visitor walked in.

“Takeda-san,” you hear, looking up to find Doctor Koharu… the exact woman who wrote the book you were currently reading.

“Koharu-san,” you bow. “May I ask what you are here for?”

“I am… here for some books. I need them for the Princess’ medical training,” she spoke slowly, and you nodded, deciding to focus back on your book. The well-known woman went about her duties, and you thought about the last time you saw Sana.

The year seemed to pass by as quickly as light, seemingly losing track of time. You had been so focused on your priorities while you heard Sana had much to do in preparation for learning how to be a queen.

You believed it was for the better, though, as it helped you keep a clear mind.

But anytime someone brought her up, it seemed like you pictured her in your mind with sparkles behind her. It was always a refreshing sight in your mind, a nice change to your rugged reality.

As you think about her, you can only imagine her brown doe-eyes that could make you melt every time. The look they had in them when they saw something cute or pretty, the bright look on her face and glimmer could be seen.

Her contagious smile gave you butterflies and a different sense of warmth. The gracious curve that formed on her lips had you feeling a genuine innocence, a rarity from royals.

But lately, the memory of her smile felt distant, like something from a dream that was slipping through your fingers.

Almost drifting into a daydream, the drop of heavy books slamming on the floor snaps you out of your trance, and your body jolts up.

“I apologize, Takeda-san. I didn’t mean to startle you,” she bows, and you shake your head. You get up and help her pick up all the material, shaking your head again, “It’s no worries, it was only an accident.”

Standing up, your arms lifted half the heavy stack of books, and you looked at the professional. “Would you like some assistance bringing these, Koharu-san?”

“That would actually be quite nice. I would highly appreciate it,” she bows and leads you through the halls as you walk side by side with her. She had informed you that they would be going to the study room, which was on the other side of the palace, so you had a ways to go.

“Were you enjoying the new book?” She asks out of pure curiosity, a peak of interest painting her face. You nodded enthusiastically, “I always loved reading your new releases, especially for my studies.”

You heard an elegant chuckle escape from the older woman, knowingly telling you, “So I’ve heard over the years.”

“I never understood the discourtesy towards you. It’s clear you are a hard-working young woman.”

You bow in honor, but she hears a sigh beside her. “Sometimes it can’t be helped with a societal hierarchy.”

The sad smile was telling, and Koharu began to think of a simple solution. “You’re able to understand my current release, right?” You nodded in confusion, but she continued, “That would guarantee your knowledge to be light years ahead for your age. Maybe you can help the princess with her own studies?”

The question had taken you aback with the reassuring smile Miss Koharu gave you. You shook your head with a soft stare, “That wouldn’t be a good idea. I’m sure the queen would heavily be against it.”

“You have a good point,” she grumbled, and you couldn’t help but laugh at the reaction.

“The princess is always so kind, but she’s stuck with a strict mother. She has no childhood to even recollect,” you look around cautiously, worried someone may hear the negative words against the grand woman.

“It makes sense. She’s a queen who has to protect her daughter and uphold a family name. It’s probably the only thing she ever knew growing up,” you express, and the doctor could only nod as it made sense.

“Well, we’ve arrived. She’s been practicing hard, so no distractions. We head in, leave the books on the table, and walk out right away.”

You give her a curt nod as if it were a secret mission, and she opens the sliding doors, where you find Sana’s head buried in a large textbook. Her back was somewhat facing away from the entrance, so the two of you were able to set the books down swiftly.

As you make your way out, you can only quickly glimpse her face. Her focus felt immense as she bit her lip, trying to understand new information from the book. This caused you to look away quickly, feeling your heart racing all over again.

‘She’s too adorable…’ you thought but scolded yourself instantly. ‘It’s never going to happen, Y/n! Get ahold of yourself and your feelings!’

While exiting the room behind Koharu-san, Sana catches sight of your lavender kimono as the door slides shut. Her curiosity took over for a quick second, as she was aware of the doctor wearing a white one when she first visited the room.

And yet, as much as she tried to focus on her studies, her mind betrayed her.

The lavender fabric lingered in her thoughts, wrapping around the edges of memories she had tucked away for the sake of duty. She wondered if it was really you, knowing you only ever wore shades of purple, or if her mind was playing cruel tricks on her.

For a fleeting moment, her fingers hovered over the page, her vision blurring slightly. It wasn’t from exhaustion. It wasn’t from frustration over her studies.

It was the realization that she hadn’t seen you—truly seen you—in what felt like a lifetime.

A small smile graced her lips, one of quiet fondness. You had always been there, hadn’t you? The only constant in her life. The only person she could call a true friend.

She had no time for love, nor did she desire it. The weight of her future pressed on her shoulders, the crown already waiting for her, heavy even in its absence. But she cherished you in the way one cherishes a childhood memory.

And though she did not realize it, that was what made it hurt the most.

Because for you, she was not just a memory. Not just a fleeting dream from another lifetime.

For you, she was everything.

“Did she come to visit?” She mumbles to herself but shakes her head as she feels the soft pages of the book on the tips of her fingers. “You have to finish, or else Mother will get mad at you again, Sana,” She said, whining to herself.

“I should head home now, Koharu-san. My father will be home soon,” the older woman nods, patting your arm as she thanks you for your help.

Making it home before sundown, you find your mother cooking this evening. “Well, you’re home early,” you look at her in surprise, and she smiles at you. “The royal family had dinner today, so the queen let me go home early.”

You settle your katana in your room and change clothes, “I’m assuming you came from the library since your father was busy today?” You nod at her assumption as she puts all the food on the table.

Settling in your spot, your father also enters the home, just in time for the food. Disregarding the good mood he had given you the past few months, after putting his own things away, he settles down with his brows furrowed.

You began serving everyone, even your own plate, and began eating. Before any one of you could pick a piece of meat up with your chopsticks, your father looked a bit worried, “We shall talk after supper, Y/n.”

You first looked at your mother, who looked as equally worried, then nodded towards your father, who began eating messier than usual. ‘He’s stress eating,’ you thought to yourself, feeling the nerves building up between both your parents.

After dinner, your dad couldn’t, stringing you away as your mother told her she’d clean up instead tonight. 

“What’s with the worry, father?”

The two of you sat in the dimly lit room, the same room you remember him giving your sacred weapon. He sat across from you in silence, his face full of contemplation as you felt the anxiety creeping up on you rapidly.

“There is a big chance we go into war,” he began, pausing again, and you nodded in understanding. You were aware of Japan’s current status, as you were the new right hand of your father during official government meetings.

This war was something inevitable, and you knew that.

“I have something to ask of you, Y/n.”

Those words had the palms of your hands sweating despite them laying comfortably on your kimono, but you listened intently.

“If anything ever happens to me… I want you to fight for our nation. Protect the royal family at all costs.”

Your eyes widen at the sudden responsibility. “Father, you-”

“You and your mother. The two of you are the things I hold dearly in my heart, and I’d never want to leave you both. But it’s my obligation and duty to put my life on the line for this nation.”

You sat there, head hanging low, trembling under the weight of his words. Your eyes shut tightly as if blocking out his voice could make the moment vanish. But it didn’t. His words were final, heavy like a sword hanging over your head. The silence that followed was deafening, broken only by the faint sound of your tears hitting your lap.

Your father, the man who had taught you strength, discipline, and the way of the blade, now stood before you looking more fragile than you’d ever seen him. His sigh was deep and heavy like it carried the burden of centuries. His chest rose and fell unevenly as he noticed your tears, and for a moment, it seemed as if he might falter. But he didn’t. He couldn’t.

“I love you and your mother, but don’t let our name go in vain,” he said, his voice softer now, almost breaking. “You and I have done much in our lifetime in preparation for this, and you know that. Just keep our tradition alive, sweetie.”

The endearment, one you hadn’t heard since childhood, struck you harder than any blade could. It clawed at the edges of the walls you’d built around your emotions, unraveling you completely. The tears fell faster, uncontrollable now, and your chest tightened as if the very air was suffocating you. You clutched at your clothing, your fingers trembling, as the realization of what this truly meant sank in.

For the first time in years, the room echoed with your wails—raw, unfiltered grief spilling out in a way you didn’t think possible anymore. You didn’t care about composure or pride. Not now. Not when the man who had been your shield, your guide, your everything, was speaking as if this would be his last farewell.

He stood there, silent and unmoving, his own tears now tracing a path down his weathered face. His hands twitched slightly as if resisting the urge to comfort you, knowing that this pain was necessary for you to carry the mantle he would leave behind. 

His voice, steady as it had been, was now thick with emotion as he waited for your cries to subside. He hated seeing you like this—his strong, capable child who had grown into a warrior under his watchful eye—but he also knew this was a wound he could not shield you from.

When your sobs finally quieted into soft, broken breaths, his voice came again, quieter this time, almost a whisper. “You will understand, my child, why I told you this now, why I cannot falter. Because if I don’t return... the weight of our name, of this family, will rest on your shoulders.”

The words hit you like a second blow, leaving you gasping for air. His unwavering faith in you, in your ability to uphold everything he had spent a lifetime building, felt like both a blessing and a curse. You wanted to scream at him, beg him not to go, but you knew the truth. You always had.

“Fine. I shall protect the royal family in our family name, father. Even at the cost of my life.”

There were those heavy words again, the ones you hated ever since you could even understand a single sentence as a child. But you could only despise the fate your family holds. One that you couldn’t do anything to change.

After a long two months, Kyoto seemed prepared for the violence to come. Everyone within the noble area had stocked up on food in case any homes in areas of poverty were ransacked. Every samurai under your father seemed to wait with an eerie patience that always made you uneasy around them.

All of the Takeda clan stood in the palace in front of the royal family, with you and your father standing in the frontlines. Sana looked at you, her eyes full of panic once she heard the platoon of enemy samurai had reached Kyoto’s borders.

“Today is the day. The day we fight for our nation,” the queen announces as she sits comfortably on the luscious throne, not a worry in sight. “You will all do your duties and protect the people of Kyoto at all costs.”

You all bow in loyalty at her words, hands on your sides as you feel your weapons caressing each of your forearms.

Everyone beginning to separate with the words of your father quickly trickling out of the palace. You and your father stay behind for a quick second as he leaves a hand on your shoulder.

“Stay nearing the palace.” It was all he said before he ran off, unable to even respond to him. You couldn’t help but feel her eyes lingering on you, so you looked back, bowing toward her and her only.

As if you were making a silent promise to come back safe.

The streets of Kyoto were unrecognizable beneath the thick veil of smoke and bloodshed. 

The scent of burning wood mixed with the sharp smell of iron in the air, making it nearly impossible to take in a full breath without choking on the stench of war. The sky, once a peaceful shade of blue, was now darkened by the plumes of fire devouring homes, the screams of the fallen echoing between the palace walls.

You had been fighting for what felt like an eternity. 

Your sword arm was heavy, aching from the countless enemies you had struck down, but war didn’t care for your exhaustion. The southern samurai, dressed in dark blue armor, poured into the city like a relentless tide, their manly yells ringing through the battlefield.

You stayed near the palace as your father had ordered, your katana carving through the enemy with ruthlessness. Each strike was deliberate, honed from years of training under his watchful eye. The world around you blurred into a haze of crimson and steel as you parried, countered, and killed without hesitation.

Yet, despite the chaos, your mind flickered back to earlier that night—his previous words flickering in your mind.

The tears you both shed that night. The pain your chest felt. 

You fought harder.

Blood splattered against your cheek as your blade found another throat, the gurgled gasps barely registering in your ears before you turned to the next opponent. You could not afford to think of anything else—only the battle, only survival.

Then you heard it. "Commander!"

The voice cut through the battlefield, filled with panic and urgency.

Your breath hitched, your heart beating out of your chest.

No.

Your body turned before your mind could catch up, your eyes scanning frantically through the sea of armor and bodies. And then—

You saw him.

Your father, the man who had shaped you into the warrior you had become—stood surrounded. He fought as hard as he could, his blade a blur as he fended off multiple enemies at once. But there were too many. 

Too many.

"Father!"

Your scream caught in your throat as you sprinted forward, pushing through bodies, cutting down any enemy that dared step in your path.

One of the southern samurai lunged at him, his sword striking against your father’s armor. He swayed but didn’t fall, retaliating with a swift swing that sent the enemy to the ground. But another followed in his place. Then another.

Your father was fighting with everything he had, but the force and strength of many men… he didn’t stand a chance.

You were almost there. Almost—a glint of steel. Two blades struck him at once.

Time seemed to slow, the battlefield noise softened into a distant hum as you watched in horror. The swords impaled him clean through, one piercing his stomach, the other driving into his back.

He staggered, blood dripping from his lips and from the blade, staining the purple armor covering his body. His knees buckled, his body trembling, but still—he did not fall.

A warrior to the very end.

"NO!" The word ripped from your throat, raw and unrestrained.

Something inside you snapped.

Rage surged through you, feeling blinded and consumed. The world looked painted in red as you charged forward, your grip tightening around your sword.

The first enemy barely had time to turn before you sliced right through his torso, his body collapsing with a slam on the ground. The second raised his blade in a weak attempt to block, but you were quicker—your sword plunged into his neck, severing his head in one clean strike.

Their bodies fell beside your father.

You dropped to your knees, trembling hands reaching for him as his body finally gave out, collapsing into your arms. His breath was shallow, his skin deathly pale, but he still had enough strength to speak to you one last time.

"F-Father—" Your voice broke, your tears mixing with the blood on his armor.

He lifted a shaking hand, grasping onto yours with the last of his strength.

"You… must go," he rasped, each word a struggle. "Protect… the nation."

Your vision was blurred, tears falling freely now. "No, no, please—just hold on, I can—"

A weak, knowing smile graced his lips. "You are so strong, Y/n… stronger than you know." His grip weakened. "Do not… waste time… mourning me." The light in his eyes faded.

His body went limp.

You gasped, a choked sob tearing through you as you clutched him tighter as if holding him close would somehow bring him back.

But he was gone.

The battle still raged around you, but it felt distant and insignificant. The world had collapsed in on itself, and all that remained was the lifeless body in your arms.

Then—

Voices. Urgent whispers. “The princess—she’s helping in the aid tent!”

Sana.

You inhaled sharply, the weight of your father’s final words sinking in. There was no time to grieve. No time to break.

Your fingers trembled as you reached up, closing his eyes before rising to your feet. Your hands clenched around your sword, blood still dripping from its edge.

Your father was gone.

But you were still here.

Your legs felt heavy, weighed down by exhaustion, by grief, by the blood of the fallen that stained your once-pristine armor. The weight of your father’s final words pressed against your chest like a boulder, suffocating, unbearable, yet you forced yourself to move.

You had no time to feel anything.

With a final glance at his lifeless body, you swallowed the sob rising in your throat and pushed forward. Your hands gripped the hilt of your sword so tightly that your knuckles burned. You couldn’t stop here. The palace stood strong, for now, but the fight was far from over. You had to ensure the royal family's safety—the safety of your people.

Your mind wandered briefly to Sana. You had overheard the maids whispering about how she had chosen to aid the wounded in the first aid tent rather than remain inside the secured palace walls. 

Even amid war, she chose kindness. It was foolish, reckless even, but it was Sana.

The first aid tent was near the forest’s edge, away from the main battlefield but still within reach of danger. You pushed past your own pain and made your way there, ignoring the sharp sting of cuts across your arms and the throbbing ache in your shoulder where an enemy blade had just missed its mark.

As you neared the tent, something in the air shifted. A gut-wrenching unease crawled up your spine, and you halted in your tracks, eyes scanning the surrounding area. Then you saw them.

Dark blue armor, barely visible between the trees. Southern samurai.

Their movements were calculated and silent, their eyes fixed on the tent filled with wounded samurai and unarmed medics. They were waiting, lurking, preparing to strike. Your heart pounded as you realized their plan. An ambush.

“AMBUSH!”

Your voice rang through the air, sharp and commanding, piercing through the relative calm of the medical tent.

There was a moment of panic inside as medics and wounded alike scrambled for cover. Your body moved on its own, surging forward to meet the approaching enemies before they could reach the defenseless inside.

You barely caught Sana’s wide eyes through the opening of the tent. She saw you—saw the desperation in your face, the aggression in your gaze. You gave her a single, firm nod that silently said, ‘Believe in me.’

And then you turned, sword raised, to meet the first enemy head-on.

The clang of steel rang in your ears as you parried a downward strike, twisting your body to avoid a second attacker. Blood splattered across your face—yours, theirs, you didn’t know. Your focus was only on keeping them away from the tent.

One enemy lunged, but you ducked, slicing cleanly across his abdomen. Another swung for your neck, and you barely managed to deflect the blow, feeling the sting of the blade grazing your shoulder. Pain registered, but you ignored it. You had to lead them away.

Gripping your sword tightly, you took a step back, drawing the enemy toward you. One by one, they followed, their frustration growing as they realized you were keeping them from their actual target. But you didn’t care about their anger. You cared only about winning.

The fight was brutal. Every move burned, every breath was labored. Your arms ached, your vision blurred, but you did not falter. You cut through the group and fought through the exhaustion until, finally, the last enemy collapsed at your feet.

For a moment, all you could do was stand there, chest heaving, your entire body screaming in protest. You had won—but at a great cost.

“Clear! They’re all down!” A rush of relief washed over you, but it was short-lived. Your knees buckled, the world tilting dangerously, but before you could collapse, hurried footsteps approached.

“Y/n!” Sana’s voice.

She was running toward you, her hair slightly disheveled, her pristine robes smeared with traces of blood—assumingly not her own, you hoped. When she reached you, her hands immediately grasped your arms, steadying you as she frantically looked you over.

“You’re hurt!” she breathed, her fingers ghosting over the fresh wounds on your arm, the gash on your side. “I’m fine,” you muttered, even as the world blurred slightly.

“You are not,” she snapped, the rare sharpness in her voice catching you off guard. “You need to rest—”

“I need to go back.” You tried to move past her, but she tightened her grip.

“You are in no shape to fight anymore!”

The intensity in her eyes made you falter. Sana was never this forceful, even this emotional. You had always known her to be composed, gentle in her words and 

mannerisms. But now? Now, she looked furious.

Furious… and terrified. Before you could argue, she wrapped an arm around you, supporting your weight as she all but dragged you toward the palace. You didn’t have the strength to resist.

From your position, the palace was closer than the medical tent, and Sana wasted no time finding an empty room. She guided you to a futon, carefully lowering you down before immediately gathering supplies. 

Her hands trembled as she unrolled bandages and mixed herbs for medicine.

“You shouldn’t be doing this, more… men… out… side…,” you mumbled, watching her fuss over your wounds. “I don’t care,” she retorted, pressing a cloth against your shoulder wound. You hissed in agony but didn’t pull away.

For a while, neither of you spoke. The only sounds in the room were Sana’s careful movements, the lack of rhythm of your breathing, and the distant echoes of battle still happening outside.

Then, without warning, she stopped. You glanced at her and saw something shift in her expression. Her eyes, those beautiful brown eyes, softened as she looked at you. There was something different in her gaze, something you had never seen before.

“Sana—?”

Before you could finish, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against yours.

The kiss was soft yet full of emotions you couldn’t quite comprehend at that moment. It was not just a gesture of gratitude—it felt like she was trying to tell you something without saying it. 

When she pulled away, her eyes shimmered, her breath uneven.

“Thank you,” she whispered. Not just for saving her. Not just for protecting the palace. “Thank you for everything.”

“For standing by her my since we first met. For watching over me, for always being my shield. For being my only friend in the world.” You stared at her, your heart pounding for a different reason now. The country was still in chaos. But in that moment, all that existed was Sana. And you.

And the undeniable truth that had been there all along. Sana realized she finally loved you. “I’m not sure if I’m delusional from all the bleeding or if this is real?” You joke, and she smiles but stops as you cough in pain. “I’m the delusional one for not seeing what’s in front of me.” Your smile softens, and she kisses you again.

Your breath hitched as her lips met yours, softer than the first this time, lingering as if she were afraid you would slip away if she let go too soon. Sana cupped your cheek, her touch featherlight, as if trying to memorize the warmth beneath her fingertips. You felt her exhale against your lips, shaky and uneven, before she pulled back just enough to meet your gaze.

“I wish we could be like this forever,” you exhale, speaking truthfully. But both of you knew well enough that the possibility was impossible. Sana knew it even better than you did… the prophecy foretold her future, after all.

The ache in your body never fully faded. 

Every movement sent sharp, burning pain through your limbs, a constant reminder of the battle fought just days prior. The deep gashes along your arms, the bruises along your ribs, the healing wound near your shoulder—were a reminder of all the trouble the southern of the samurais. 

But despite it all, you endured. You had to. But Sana made it easier.

She had been by your side in the palace infirmary, tending to your wounds with a quiet look. There was no smile, no playful teasing. Only a focused, almost desperate energy as she worked, her hands trembling when they touched your bandages.

She never spoke of the kiss.

You didn’t either.

Maybe because neither of you knew what it meant. Maybe because it was easier to pretend it hadn’t happened than to acknowledge the weight of what it could become.

But the air between you both had shifted.

She lingered a little longer when she came to check on you. She made excuses to see you, even when the palace healers could more than treat your injuries. Some nights, when the pain made sleep impossible, you’d find her sitting beside you in silence, the dim glow of candlelight casting soft shadows across her face.

And they honored you when you were finally well enough to stand before the royal court.

The grand hall was filled with nobles, warriors, and servants alike, all gathered as the queen herself acknowledged your service. The words meant nothing. 

The praise felt empty. The only thing that mattered to you was Sana, who stood behind her mother, her expression unreadable, her hands clasped in front of her as you bowed before the throne.

You dared to steal a glance at her.

She met your gaze, and that was all you needed.

A week passed, and it became a dangerous cat-and-mouse game between the two of you. You and Sana were careful, and you had to be. The palace was no place for whispered affections or stolen glances, not when eyes were everywhere. But even knowing the risk, you still found yourselves being drawn to her, and Sana would never deny it.

Late at night, beneath the quiet hum of cicadas, she would sneak away from her chambers, slipping through the shadows without ever getting caught. You’d meet her in the palace gardens, hidden beneath the sprawling sakura trees where the moon would shine bright.

You didn’t usually speak about love. But the way she looked at you said enough. The way she reached for your hand, hesitated, then finally intertwined her fingers with yours. The way she leaned into your touch, closing her eyes as if savoring the warmth of your palm—it was enough.

For a moment, in the beautiful cold of the night, you could pretend. But that would never last.

The queen summoned you the week after, and you weren’t aware of what it was for. You had already been honored, given your father a proper burial, and were granted a larger house for your efforts.

The cold fury in her gaze, the barely restrained disgust twisting her features as she sat upon her throne. The court was silent. Servants lined the hall, their heads bowed, afraid to meet your eyes.

Then you realized the situation you were in… they found out about you and Sana.

And then the words came. All the accusations seemed to be an extreme twist on the relationship between you two.

“She suggested they run away and elope.”

“Sana got dragged by her into another room.”

“She would grab on the young lady's hand and yank it!”

You stood there, back straight, jaw clenched, as she condemned you for what you were. For what you had done. For what you had become to her daughter.

She called it unnatural. She called it shameful. She called it punishable by death.

You had expected her to exile you. To strip you of your title, your honor, your name. But she did worse. She made an example of you.

Deciding on public execution.

Not even a swift beheading. No. She wanted you to suffer. To bleed. To die beneath the very sky, you had once sworn to protect. 

Your heart stopped, and your mother tried stopping her efforts. She stood up in front of everyone, yelling to stop this, explaining how loving someone shouldn’t be a crime. She basically ensured you wouldn’t die alone.

You should have known. She had been the queen’s right hand for as long as you had lived, but she was still your mother. And she would not stand for this. She pleaded. She begged. She offered her own life in exchange ,wandthe queen granted her wish.

But with the queen's cold heart, she would be killing two birds with one stone. The moment the order was given, you knew there was no escaping this.

No blade in your hand. No armor to shield you. Nothing but the suffocating weight of Sana’s silence as she stood frozen, her lips parted in horror, her hands trembling at her sides.

She couldn’t speak, move or do anything. She could only watch.

The guards took your mother first. You couldn’t scream but tried to lunge forward, but the grip of three men held you back. Her eyes met yours in that final moment, and she smiled.

“I love you,” she whispered before the katana struck. The world blurred as you were shoved forward, forced to your knees as the executioner raised his blade. You wanted to fight, but how could you? Your injuries still pained you, which caused you to lack any movement.

Sana.

You turned your head, meeting her gaze one last time, seeing her cry. She barely cried. Not the princess who was taught to never show weakness. But for you, she did.

You parted your lips, searching for something—anything—to say, but before the words could leave you, the blade came down. Pain exploded through your body, a deep, burning agony that stole the breath from your lungs. 

You could feel it—your blood pooling beneath you, staining the pristine stone of the palace grounds.

Your body collapsed, and you heard Sana’s deafening screaming. You wanted to tell her it was okay, that you weren’t afraid. That maybe you could find her in another life.

But the words never came.

Darkness consumed you, the weight of the world slipping from your shoulders.

And then—nothing.

Sana didn’t move. She couldn’t even breathe or blink.

She only stared at the lifeless body before her, at the blood that soaked into the earth, at the face she had memorized all her life now frozen in eternal stillness.

This wasn’t happening.

“No… no, this can’t be possible,” she mumbled.

She dropped to her knees, her hands trembling as they reached forward. Pulling you into her arms, she ignored the warmth that still clung to your skin and refused to accept that it was fading.

“Wake up.”

Her voice was barely a whisper, her fingers brushing over your cheek, smearing the crimson that painted your face.

“Please… wake up.”

She shook you, her grip tightening, her nails digging into your bloodstained garments as her breath hitched. “You promised—”

Her words broke, a sob catching in her throat as she cradled you against her chest, rocking you back and forth as if the motion alone could bring you back. But there was no warmth in your embrace anymore. No teasing remarks, no laughter, no whispered affections.

Just cold silence.

Sana lifted her head, eyes wild with grief as she turned toward her mother, her voice cracking under the weight of her agony. “I hate you.”

The queen said nothing.

And Sana—Sana could only hold you tighter, pressing a trembling kiss to your forehead as fresh tears fell, whispering apologies that would never be heard.

Because you were gone.

And she was alone.

Remember those wretched words, ‘Your love will stretch for all eternity.’ Sana laughed hysterically as her tears fell over and over again. Her father ran over to her, trying to hug and calm her down like he usually did. Sana’s grip on your body tightened as she screamed her lungs out, feeling the pain hitting hard.

And for the first time, her mother felt a hint of sympathy. More than that, she was stunned at her daughter's actions. Sana looked a mess; the queen wouldn’t deny that, but then she thought… for the first time, maybe she was wrong.

“I’ll never accept you as my mother, nor will I ever be proud to be your daughter!” The young lady bawls as she clung onto your lifeless body, and your father held onto her hunched figure, tearing up in the state of his own child.

“You don’t deserve to be queen,” Sana said sadly, just crying as she stared at your lonesome face.