#'... why does everyone think im broody'
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fairy-grotto · 1 year ago
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hey so why the fuck did no one tell me that you hit a certain age and then cyclically want children? Like monthly?
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kraviolis · 2 years ago
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trying to finish the second half of this goddamn fic but my brain is pulling me in 70 different directions
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1eos · 1 year ago
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march 7th truly needs a fully fleshed out story arc and everything, a 5-star form of her tew!!! truly the xianzhou arc felt so badly paced bc of all the exposition nd lore for dan heng but it all lead to a whole bunch of nothin..... could've spent that time with the more interesting characters like jing yuan, fu xuan, yukong, idk the list goes on
i need 50 in depth march 7th back story quests right fucking now with a different little outfit to go with each one like what the fuck does dan heng but stand there? the trailblazer has more character and they literally do not speak. xianzhou arc is literally so full of cool shit but every section with dan heng as the lead is soooooo boring like the trail blazer is already the blank silent protag that had their memory wiped and THUSLY is the viewpoint of the audience so why the sections with dan heng? we just walk around talking to infinitely more interesting characters as he says 'im not dan feng' and in the flash backs dan feng looks boring as hell too like wtf.
got me running around with this boring ass green man while blade is begging for jingliu to try and kill him and it's so interesting but we only get snippets presented in the most boring way 😭😭😭😭😭 i literally roll my eyes whenever i take a xianzhou quest and i see that the focus is dan heng. even as a broody man lover (blade baby ilu prostate orgasms can fix mara >.<) im not compelled by dan heng. he has no other side to him like he literally does nothing im sick of looking at him all the goddamn time like everyone else is so much more fun. i LOVED the quest with yanqing and jingliu bc he was nawt feeling her shit and there was PERSONALITY. yukongs companion quest was fucking amazingggggggg like i felt EMOTIONS. why the hell did we see bailu for 2 minutes in the arc but we got like 60 of dan heng following behind that blonde bitch thinking he shouldn't but still walking? dan heng is a walking piece of cardboard that would not shut up abt his past just for it to mean nothing like throw his ass in prison see if i gaf
THE FOCUS SHOULD BE ON MARCH 7TH
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holdingforgeneralhugs · 3 years ago
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Hello, lovely! I hope you're well and staying healthy ❤️
I was wondering, if it's not too much trouble, I could request some jealousy headcanons for Gaurnere, Malarkey, and Bull Randleman? 🤍
Please, feel free to add whomever! 🤎
Hello dear💓 thank you for the request!!
Bill Guarnere
Bill is a total hothead, so when he's jealous it's totally obvious.
He acts like a stroppy idiot. Like there's a literal thundercloud hovering over his head and he's pouting like a child.
Whenever he sees you with "that clown", he glares daggers at the two of you.
Everyone else thinks he's the real clown because he won't say a word to you and would rather avoid you entirely.
Which confuses you to no end because how could he not know how much you care about him? Wasn't it obvious?
Eventually he sees "that clown" put his hand on your arm and he explodes. He scares him off good and quick and then starts ranting and raving about how "you deserve someone better," and "How can you not see how much of a clown that schmuck is?"
You get mad then, because who does he think he is shouting like that? "Well since you have no intention of kissin' me yourself I don't see how it's any of your business."
And he just freezes for a second in disbelief before deflating completely and apologising for being an idiot.
And really, how could you stay mad at the wounded puppy face?
Don Malarkey
Don doesn't like the fact that he feels jealous, because he thinks he has no right to feel that way.
But he can't help it so he covers it up with sarcasm and thinks nobody will notice.
Of course they do notice because he's completely not subtle about it at all.
He sighs a lot and grumbles and rolls his eyes whenever he sees you two together, and literally nobody wants to be around him because he'll bite their head off or make fun of them for the tiniest thing.
You've also noticed, and you can't understand why he's being so snappy all of a sudden.
So you come right out and confront him about it. And as per usual he starts covering it all up with sarcasm but you're just not having it so you tell him to cut the bullshit and be honest.
And it all comes tumbling out and he tells you how he feels in a jumble.
"You know you could have saved everyone a whole lot of drama if you'd just told me that in the first place, instead of acting like a jealous idiot."
Bull Randleman
Bull gets all quiet and broody when he's jealous.
He thinks it's silly, and he definitely doesn't want to make a big deal out of it but he can't make the feeling go away no matter how hard he tries to ignore it.
If he sees you together he'll abruptly turn around and get far away.
You've started to notice that he suddenly disappears without explanation whenever the other is around.
You ask the other guys, but they all just tell you to talk to Bull about it. So you do.
He tries to brush it off, but you can tell that he's holding back so you push him.
He eventually spills it all and tells you how much it kills him to see you two together because he loves you.
And you just gape at him in disbelief because you genuinely had no idea he felt the same as you.
Taglist:  @tvserie-s-world @geniedocroe @generousdreamlanddestiny @sunsetmando @cagzzz107 @howunexpectedlyso @alejodi0nysus @sunflowerchuck @now-im-a-belieber @its1000cuts @50svibes @eugene-emt-roe @pennyllane @televisionboy @mavericksparky @ask-you-what-sir @parajumpboots @mads-weasley @tetragonia
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starsstruck · 5 years ago
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under the amber light
an enemies-to-lovers (kind of) where mc finds herself working in a darkroom along with harry, who she has never gotten along with. 35mm film, watermelon slices, and a lot of dim amber lighting.
pairing: harry x reader words: 12.5 k rated: M
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an: hello ! i am back w another little something. i hope everyone enjoys, and im sorry if i got any technical things wrong i havent stepped foot in a darkroom in like 3 years, but yeah ! let me know your feelings and thoughts, enjoy !💘                                                              ***
A breathless ‘hello’ accompanied by a smile as you opened the front door, waving as heads turned towards you.
“Sorry we’re late,” you grinned as Margot pulled you in for a quick hug. You had to work a bit later than usual, Aiden meeting you after your shift ended, both heading to your shared place to change and have a few drinks before heading over to Margot’s. “Work was busy today.”
“Don’t worry about it,” beaming at you, you could tell she’s already had quite a few drinks herself. “People are just getting here now.”
She and her roommates had decided to throw a little party, using the excuse of exams being over for nearly everyone. Her place was usually designated as the ‘party house’ as they had the whole house, not having to deal with irritated landlords, and the neighbours never seemed to mind. Their place was also a bit bigger, even having a little porch to sit out on and a small backyard space.
After waving hello to a few more of your friends that sat on the couches, both Aiden and you headed over to Margot’s room to leave your jackets and bags.
Hearing your name being called from the kitchen as you carried the beers that you had brought over caught your attention. “Hey!”
The familiar voice of Margot’s partner carried through the kitchen, opening your arms wide as you accepted his hug. “Haven’t seen you in a while.” Aleks seemed to have also had more drinks than you, eyelids a bit heavy as he grinned down at you.
“Busy couple of weeks,” you hummed, small frown on your lips as you recalled the final weeks of the semester. You were lucky to only have one exam this semester, but the numerous final papers and assignments were just as bad.
Placing the beers you had brought into the fridge after grabbing one for yourself, you paused for a second when you noticed the fridge magnet bottle opener was not at its usual place.
Glancing across the kitchen at Harry, who’s only acknowledgement of you was a brief glance in your direction when Aleks had called your name. Noticing he had the bottle opener in question, you pulled your attention back to Aleks. “You all done for the term?”
“Yeah,” Aleks sighed, taking a sip of his own drink. “Not as heavy course load this term so I was done fairly early. What about you? Harry mentioned you guys were in the same art history class; I heard the final was pretty tough.”
Glancing over at Harry, you saw his attention was also pulled to Aleks at the mention of his name. His eyes paused on you for a beat, before moving past you to place the magnetic bottle opener back on the fridge.
You knew Harry was the in the same class as you, but there had been very little interaction. In fact, there has been very little interaction between the two of you in general in the months that you had known each other. He was a good friend of Aleks’, and had been quickly integrated into your friend group after Margot started dating Aleks, but you had yet to have any kind of real conversation with him. Quite frankly, you had no idea why Harry seemed to have such distaste for you. His attitude towards you had giving you a bad impression of him, but you had remained polite as ever. Although after nearly four months, it was starting to get irritating.
Grabbing the bottle opener from the fridge, you popped open your own beer before answering Aleks’ question as Harry gave no indication of butting in.
“’M all done as well yeah,” you mused over the stressful weeks that had passed. “I only had one exam, for that art history class. Prof was pretty tough, but she was good. I liked the class a lot.”
You could feel Harry’s eyes burning into the side of your face as you spoke about your shared class, but you refused to look at him.
“Sounds like you had a better time in that class than Harry,” your friend turned to Harry once again, teasingly swatting at his arm.
You only hummed at his words, taking a big gulp of your beer so you wouldn’t have to speak. You could hear friends in the other room laughing loudly, wanting to go join them rather than stand in the kitchen with someone who wanted nothing to do with you.
“You’re here for the summer, aren’t you? Margot mentioned you guys might head out for a little road trip.” Aleks directed his question to you once again.
“Yeah! That’ll be really good. Otherwise I don’t have any big plans. I’m not taking any summer courses, just working. I also started some part time work at a photo lab, developing some film.”
“You started working at a darkroom?”
Both you and Aleks turned to Harry as he spoke for the first time since you’d joined them in the kitchen. He was still leaning back on the counter, eyes narrowed on you. You met his gaze, holding it for a second before slowly nodding.
“Yeah…” muttering, you shot him another glance before focusing your attention back on Aleks. “I’m going to go say hey to everyone else, I’ll see you guys in a bit.”
Taking your chance to leave the kitchen and to head to where nearly everyone sat in the living room, you quickly turned the corner to go catch up with everyone else. It’s not that you didn’t enjoy Aleks’ company, you just wanted a chance to talk to everyone, and quite frankly you weren’t really in the mood to deal with Harry’s broodiness towards you. You didn’t understand it, to be honest. You’d seen him chatty and animated with nearly everyone else, leaving you to think he had some kind of problem with you personally.
Sliding in on the couch next to Margot and some other friends, easily joining in their conversation as you finished off the beer in your hand. The drink was soon replaced, as Margot bounced off to make the two of you some cocktails with whatever liquor she had in her kitchen.
Soon, you had caught up with your friends and were feeling the perfect amount of tipsy. You were resting your head on Aiden’s legs, as you sat on the floor in front of where he sat on the couch, as you both listened to Margot’s animated story about something that had happened during one of her finals.
Someone had grabbed the AUX, deciding to play some Dolly Parton, and you weren’t complaining at the choice. Aiden was playing with your hair, and you felt so content, so at peace. That peace was quickly interrupted, as Margot was tugging at your hand to pull you outside for a smoke.
“How are you,” she hummed, once the two of you were alone sitting across from each other on the porch steps.
“Good,” nodding, as you finally felt relieved from the stressful couple of weeks. “Happy to be done. This summer should be really good as well, everyone’s sticking around. What about you, how are you?”
Margot nodded at your words, smirk playing at her lips. “I’m good, yeah. Aleks wants me to go home with him for a week, meet his family.”
“Really,” drawing out the word, tapping her leg with your foot as you grinned at her. They hadn’t been going out that long, but you knew she was feeling good about their relationship. “You gonna go?”
“I think so,” she nodded, putting out her cigarette as she seemed to think it over. “I really want to. Bit nervous though.”
“They’ll love you,” you reassured. “I know Aleks does.”
“Yeah he does, doesn’t he,” she giggled, scooting over on the step you were sitting on to move closer to you, wrapping an arm you.
“How are things with that guy, what’s his name,” she spoke up after a moment, as you tapped the ash off your own cigarette.
“Nate?” Scoffing as she asked about the last guy you had a small fling with. “Haven’t really talked to him. Honestly he was a bit of a dick, didn’t really get along with him.”
“Yeah you mentioned that,” Margot hummed, resting her head on your shoulder. “Deserve someone better. Maybe you’ll meet someone at the photo lab you’re starting at.”
“Maybe,” you mused, trying not to romanticize the idea of meeting someone cute at your new summer job.
The door clicking open pulled your attention, as you watched Aiden come outside. “I’m heading over to Will’s.”
“You’re leaving?” Both Margot and you spoke the same thing at the same time, as Aiden wrapped his arms around the two of you for a tight hug.
“I’ll see you soon,” he grinned as he made his way down the steps. “You’re okay to get home?”
“Think I’m gonna crash here, I’ll be good.” Aiden nodded as you confirmed you would be okay. “Have fun!”
                                                            ***
“I’ll grab you a shirt,” Margot mumbled, riffling through her drawers.
Nearly everyone had left, and you were ready to lie down. Both of you had had a little too much to drink having the alcohol eventually making you tired, especially after your long day at work.
Aleks of course got the spot in Margot’s bed, so you were taking one of the couches, having already grabbed a mountain of blankets for yourself.
She passed you a big teeshirt, recognizing it as one she had found at a thrift store with you. “Harry’s crashing here too.”
“What?” Your voice dropped to a whisper-shout, in case someone outside her room could hear. “Where’s he sleeping?”
“On the other couch,” she shrugged. They had two couches in the living room, one much smaller than the other. You sighed, knowing you would inevitably be the one taking the shorter couch.
“That okay?”
“’Course,” you muttered. “It’s your house. Plus Harry’s the one that has a problem, not me.”
Margot rolled her eyes, changing into her pyjamas. “Harry doesn’t hate you,” she knew very well about your issues with him.
“He totally does!” Keeping your voice at a whisper in case the sound carried past the closed door.
“No one hates you.” Margot grinned at you, sitting next to you on her bed as you riffled through your bag. “I told you, he’s just like that with people he doesn’t know.”
“Known him nearly four months,” you mumbled under your breath.
“Well,” she paused. “He’s a sweet guy, I promise.”
Dropping the subject, you made your way over to the washroom and tried your best at taking off your makeup, borrowing a bit of Margot’s moisturizer so your skin wouldn’t freak out on you.
Realizing that everyone had left except for those spending the night, you bid your goodnight to Margot and Aleks before bringing your things to the living room. You were surprised to see Harry already there, distracted by whatever he was doing on his phone.
He glanced up as you dropped some blankets on the couch, eyes holding yours for barely a second. You suddenly felt self-conscious, his ever-intense gaze dropping to your bare legs for a second.
“I can take the small couch,” you mumbled, grabbing hold of a blanket for your makeshift bed.
“Right,” Harry coughed, placing his phone on the coffee table in front of him.
He watched you unfold the blankets, laying them down on the couch. You silently passed him some of the blankets you had gathered, noticing he only had one.
You also couldn’t help but notice he had also changed, wearing a pair of black joggers you could only assume he had borrowed from Aleks. His chest was bare, and you found yourself annoyed with how good he looked like that, forcing yourself not to try and make out newly exposed tattoos.
“Sorry,” he suddenly blurted, breaking the crisp silence as you both made your beds on the couches. “I know this is your usual sleeping spot.”
His words slurred slightly, but his expression was just as unreadable as ever. It was the most he’d said to you all night.
“S’no problem,” you offered him a small smile as your eyes met his. He caught you slightly off guard when he didn’t look away like he usually did. Holding your gaze for a second longer than he should have, you felt the beginning of a flush across your cheeks. His gaze was so intense on you, so nearly hot.
Still, he failed to return your smile, or any other sense of comradery towards you. Once again self-conscious under his stare, you were the one to look away. Muttering a small ‘night’ to him, you slid through the pile of blankets you had created for yourself.
If he had returned the bid goodnight, you hadn’t heard it.
Fine. Quietly huffing to yourself, rolling over on the couch with your legs having to lay a bit folded. You were grateful for how tired you were, not having to think too much about the fact that this situation otherwise would’ve made you nervous.
                                                            ***
As with any new job, you still felt a bit anxious as you came in for work, even if it had been nearly two weeks of working. As you pulled open the door, smiling at the woman behind the counter at the photo lab.
“Hi!” She greeted you immediately. “How are you?”
“Good thanks,” returning her smile as you moved past the door that separated the customer waiting area, to the behind the counter. “How about you? Busy today?”
“Not too bad, yeah. Mostly pickups. Some rolls back there for you to start on.”
“Perfect,” you smiled at her again, before opening the door that you knew led to the back. You were still a bit nervous, even after a couple shifts. You knew that you knew your way around a darkroom, but it was more daunting when you were working with paying customers photos, and not just your own.
Eyes scanning the room, trying to recall everything you had been told in training. Soon everything slipped your mind, as your eyes fell on a familiar face.
Mouth gaping slightly as if you were to speak, Harry met your gaze. Did he work here too? Why hadn’t you known that. You recalled that night at Margot’s a couple days ago, when you were talking about starting a new job at a darkroom. Why hadn’t he said anything?
“Hi,” you finally spoke, placing your bag on the table.
He was standing across the room, seeming to be mix solvents in the beginning stages of developing his film. He was looking at you from over his shoulder, dressed casually with a bandana pushed through his hair.
“Hi,” he mirrored, briefly looking down to what he was doing before fully turning to face you. “You started working here?”
Nodding slowly, expression matching his. “Yeah,” you smiled a bit, though he didn’t return it. “Just working in the back.” You pointed to the door that led to the darkroom.
He simply nodded, turning away from you again as he reached for something next to him. “These need to be printed.” He passed you a plastic cover filled with film strips, taking a step towards you.
“Right,” nodding, deciding if he wasn’t going to be decently nice you didn’t have to be either.
“You know how everything works, right?” The question irritated you, but your tried not to let it show. Of course you knew how everything worked, you had been hired here.
“Yeah,” was all you said, before opening up the door that brought you into a dark room, faced with another door. Once in the actual darkroom, you felt the wall for where you knew sat the switch for the dim amber lights.
Immediately getting to work, starting with preparing your separate baths filled with solvents. It was when you were pulling sheets of photo paper that you heard the door click open, eyes focusing to see Harry having joined you.
“Forgot to give you this,” he said quickly, sounding almost out of breath. Narrowing your eyes as you grabbed the sheet from his hands, squinting in the dim light to read the words written on the top of the page.
You felt irritated again. It was the basic information sheet on what settings to leave the enlarger at, and how many seconds you should expose for. “Just in case.”
He was practically smirking.
“Thanks.” Voice clipped; you knew it wasn’t best to be a bit moody with him but it wasn’t like he was your boss. You placed the sheet next to you on the counter, waiting for Harry to leave. He only nodded once more, before slipping out the door.
You got back to work, having fake arguments in your head with Harry after he left you bothered. How was it that you had never seen him here before? There wasn’t much of a set schedule per se, so it was completely possible that the two of you had missed each other like this, but it still took you by surprise.
It was nice that you could work more or less by yourself, since at your other job you were constantly dealing with customers and never had a shift alone unless it was a morning shift. Obviously working at the same place as Harry wasn’t going to be a big problem, it was just the way he acted towards you that bugged you.
                                                            ***
Weeks had gone since you first saw Harry at the studio. It had gotten a bit better; he wasn’t so much being cold with you as he was getting on your nerves. Instead of being passive and ignoring you, he had progressed to badgering you, clearly noticing it bothered you. That was at least, when he was talking to you.
He made sure to double check that the images you were exposing came through correctly, saying things like ‘just have to make sure everything’s good’, and ‘they all should be similar, don’t want any inconsistencies’.
It was irritating to say the least. He never really talked about you about anything outside of work, even though technically he was in your friend group, and that irritated you even more. Neither of you had actually seen each other outside of work, something that usually happened at Margot’s or Aleks’ house.
One of your coworkers, Shane, was shocked when he said Harry had mentioned that the two of you knew each other outside of work.
“Would think that he’s never known to talk to you a day in his life.” Shane had commented with a laugh.
Margot, and even Aleks, had heard all about it, only ever really assuring you that ‘he doesn’t hate you’ and ‘he’s never said a bad thing about you’.
That being said, at least he wasn’t avoiding you like the plague anymore.
“Are you just finishing up?”
Harry had come into the darkroom to gather up some photographs, stacking them in a neat pile before slipping them into an envelope. The two of you were the only one’s left for the evening, the shop closed to the public.
“Yeah, just cleaning up now.”
Just making out his nod in the amber light, he paused before speaking again. “D’you need a ride home?”
That took you by surprise. The two of you hadn’t closed up just the two of you before, but you would have never though he’d ben offering to give you a drive home.
“You don’t have to –”
“It’s no trouble,” he interrupted, reaching for the handle to leave the room.
“I – yeah thank you.”
Nodding at your confirmation, he stepped out of the dark room leaving you to finish up packing everything for the day.
You found Harry sitting in the back room, preoccupied by his phone as he waited for you. “Ready?” He stood suddenly, slipping his phone in his jeans pocket as you reached through your bag for some lip balm.
Following him through the front door, waiting as he locked up before leading you over to where he had parked down the street. Sliding into the passenger seat of his car, the first few minutes of your ride in silence expect for your directions to your place.
“You make other art outside of film. Right?” Harry suddenly spoke, drawing your attention to him as his eyes remained on the road.
“Yeah,” pausing for a second, “I mean, it is my major.”
That caused him to glance at you with a laugh. “I know. I’ve just never seen any of it is all.”
“Never asked.”
“Right,” he said quietly, before clearing his throat and giving you another glance. “Well consider this me asking.”
You bit back a smile. “Next time.”
Nodding with a breathy laugh, just as you recognized the beginning of your street outside. “Here’s fine,” you turned to him, not needing him to go all the way into the winding residential area.
“I can go right to your door,” he turned on his right turn single. “Through here?”
“Yeah,” you directed him through the neighbourhood until he pulled in on the side of the road.
Grabbing for your bag at your feet, digging in it until you reached your keys. “You going to Margot’s on Friday?” Harry pulled your attention back to him.
“Of course,” you smiled slightly, hand on the door as you readied to leave. He nodded, eyes remaining on you as you went to step out of the car. “Thanks for the ride, I’ll see you then?”
“See you then,” he confirmed with a perk in his lips, just as you turned around and shut the door behind you.
                                                            ***
“Don’t know what to wear,” Margot was muttering to herself as she surveyed the clothes she had just grabbed from her closet.
You had your own outfit crisis at home before coming over to Margot’s, coming over early for once. Aiden was still at work, and you had the day off so you and Margot had spent the afternoon together before everyone would be coming over later on in the night.
“I like that,” you hummed, pointing to the shirt she had just thrown aside.
“I guess,” she mumbled, looking at her outfit in her mirror. “Not really the vibe though, is it?”
Giggling at her words, you rolled over on her bed to fully face her. “And what is the vibe?”
“I don’t know,” she sighed, going back to her closet. “You’re wearing a dress.” Glancing down at your own red sundress at her words, you laughed. Summer was well on its way by now, and you were a sucker for a good sundress. “Plus,” Margot continued as she changed her shirt once again. “I’m mad at Aleks.”
“What’d he do?”
She sighed, sitting down next to you on her bed. “I’m not really mad at him; we got into a little fight and I just wanna look good and ignore him for a bit.”
Humourless laugh leaving her lips, she rose again and took another look at her outfit. “I like this, think I’m happy with it.”
Heading over to the kitchen, you guys took out the big bottle of margarita mix and tequila, deciding to have a nice cocktail outside as the sun set, before everyone else arrived.
“How’s work going?” Margot asked, once the margs were made and the two of you sat outside in the slowly cooling air.
“Work is the same,” you hummed licking salt from your lips. “Nothing really new.”
“What about the new place, with Harry? He said you were doing really good.”
Now that was a surprise to you.
“He did? The jobs good, but honestly working with Harry…” trailing off, you wanted to be delicate with your wording. “He’s still acting like a bit of a pain. Not as much as before but, I dunno…” trailing your finger over the salted rim of the glass, you thought it over. “Like I’ve said, he just doesn’t like me.”
“He likes you fine,” Margot hummed, small laugh in her voice
“Oh well,” muttering into your glass, “finish up your marg.”
Soon, both of you were a couple drinks in and more people had started arriving at Margot’s. The back door was open, spending most of your time outside before the sun fully set just to savour the last bits of the summer night.
You don’t know how much time has gone by, nor how many drinks you’d had, but soon you were slouched on the couch next to your friends, happy grin on your lips. That grin didn’t last long however, as your eyes scanned the room and landed on a familiar face.
“Fuck,” sliding even closer to Margot and Aiden. “That’s Nate.” Pointing with your head to where he stood by the hallway.
Margot lifted her head, not so subtly glancing to the direction you were motioning. “That’s him? He knows Aleks I think.”
“Oh,” you muttered, shooting the guy you didn’t want to see another glance. It wasn’t that things were bad with the two of you, but you had decided you didn’t want to ever see him again.
“I didn’t realize he was coming,” Margot shot you a sympathetic smile.
“It’s okay,” you nodded, cozying up with the two of them and deciding to keep him out of your mind. “Just won’t talk to him.”
You had managed to stick to that, never even interacting with him the majority of the night. It wasn’t until you had stepped out on the front porch for a breather and a smoke, that you suddenly found yourself along with Nate who had apparently followed you out.
Leaning your back against the wooden railing behind you, offering him a small smile and nothing else. “Didn’t know you would be here.” He was the first to speak.
“It’s my friends place,” you hummed, tapping out your cigarette.
“Missed you these past couple of weeks,” his words made you glance at him, only for a second.
“Nate,” you sighed, putting out your smoke. “I told you –”
He cut you off. “I know what you told me. Like I said, I just miss you. You here with anyone?”
“No,” you breathed out, not knowing why you couldn’t just lie to him.
“Why don’t you come home with me?” He bumped his knee with yours, as you still didn’t look over at him.
“Not in the mood,” you muttered, resting your head back against the beam behind you.
“I can get you in the mood,” he shuffled closer to you, as you tightened your arms around your chest.
“Fuck off Nate,” muttering as you finally glared up at him.
Calling your name, he didn’t stop in his pursuit. “Come on –”
“Think she told you to fuck off, mate.”
Both of you turned your heads to the voice coming from the door, seeing Harry standing in the frame, arms folded across his chest.
Christ. You didn’t have the energy to deal with Harry as well, even if in this moment he was helping you out.
As annoyed as you were over the testosterone swirling around you like leaves in the wind, Nate took a step away. He slid away from the two of you with a ‘whatever’ muttered underneath his breath.
Blowing out a sigh, you sank down to sit on the wooden step, extending your legs out in front of you. You could practically hear Harry hesitating behind you, before he finally made his way to you and tentatively sat down.
“Thanks,” your voice was quiet as you finally spoke, face forward as you kept your eyes focused on your sock covered feet that you knocked together.
“He’s a dick,” his voice was soft, in fact you think that was the softest you’d ever heard it.
“Yeah,” humourless laugh leaving your lips as you nodded. “He is.” You were annoyed with yourself of how you had let Nate ruin your evening.
Finally facing Harry, you found his eyes already on you. “Do you like margaritas?”
                                                            ***
You knew your way around Margot’s kitchen well, spending enough time at her place to call it your second home.
“Not going to blend them, hope that’s okay.” You shot Harry a glance as you grabbed an ice cube tray from the freezer. “Don’t wanna leave dishes.”
“’s no problem at all,” he spoke quietly, almost cautiously. You nodded, not measuring as you poured tequila in each cup.
“Lime?” Grabbing a knife from the drawer, cutting a lime into quarters.
“Please,” he nodded, watching as you squeezed the juice into the glasses. You brought one cup to your lips, taking a quick taste of your cocktail. Hearing a breathy chuckle from Harry as you added a splash more tequila, you handed him a cup.
“Cheers,” the corners of your lips perking up to a small smile as you clinked glasses with him. He returned the sentiment, each taking a big sip of your drinks.
“It’s good,” he smirked, tongue darting out to lick the liquor off his lips.
You hummed in agreement, taking another sip of the cocktail. Wordlessly moving past Harry, you opened the fridge next to him and searched around for the fruit you knew sat somewhere in the back.
Fingers gripping the cold ceramic bowl, you shut the door with your hip. “You want some?”
Handful of berries in your own hand, you tilted the bowl in Harry’s direction. He seemed to hesitate again, eyes flicking between your own and the bowl of raspberries pointed at him. “I – yeah, thank you.”
“I love raspberries,” you hummed, placing the bowl between the two of you on the counter before grabbing another handful.
Harry couldn’t help the small smile that pulled on his lips as he watched you enjoyed the red fruit. Just as he was trying to think up something, anything, to say to you, Margot and Aleks crashed through the kitchen.
“There you are!” Margot exclaimed, swinging one arm around you as she grabbed some raspberries herself. “Was looking for you, are you having fun?”
“Yes,” you smiled at your friend, taking another sip of your drink. “Just making some more cocktails.” Passing Margot your cup, offering a sip to which she refused.
Aleks had caught Harry in conversation, neither of them seeing as Margot wordlessly glanced between you and Harry, eyebrows furrowing at you quizzically, as if asking you what was going on. You simply shrugged, mouthing ‘I don’t know’ before you drank more of your margarita.
She nodded, your silent conversation coming to an end.
The four of you soon pulled out of the kitchen, joining the remaining party-goers in the living room. You had had 2 more margaritas, eventually settling into a corner of the couch as you were slowly letting yourself relax, even in the excited atmosphere.
The night progressed as it usually did, a few remaining as late hours of the night rolled in. Aleks had out on some movie he wanted to share with everyone, and at that point you knew if you stayed for any longer you would completely fall asleep.
Jumping up to grab your jacket, hovering on top of Margot from where she sat. “I’m heading out,” you mumbled, arms wrapping her in a hug. “I’ll see you soon! We’ll have that beach day.”
“You sure you don’t want to stay here?”
Shaking your head, you reached for your bag sitting on her floor. “I have work tomorrow pretty early, and I’m already going to be a bit hungover.”
The two of you headed to her front door as she walked you out, as you bid goodnight to the few remaining friends on your way. “You okay to walk home?”
“Yes, of course.” Waving off her concern, although grateful she always checked with you before you leave her house. You were a bit drunker than you’d like to be for the walk home, but it was a fairly short walk.
“Okay well text me when you get home,” she slurred, pulling you in for another hug once you reached the front door.
“Are you leaving?” Aleks, followed by Harry, appeared behind Margot as you broke apart.
Nodding as you bid him goodnight as well, voice being interrupted by your own yawn.
“I can walk with you.”
Harry’s voice pipped up from behind Aleks, head turning to him to see him slipping on his jacket. “I –” about to refuse, but realizing he properly had to walk home as well, “– yeah that’d be good.”
Soon you were both walking side by side in the empty street as it was well into the night, the cool air not too much of a bother after the drinks you’d had.
“Where’s Aiden?” Harry’s voice broke the silence after a good five minutes.
You couldn’t help but laugh. “He left the party a while ago, he usually goes over to his ex’s.” He only nodded, remaining silent for another short moment.
“You don’t have to walk all the way with me,” you suddenly spoke, turning to look at him. “If it’s out of your way.”
He turned to you, light smile on his face. “It’s no problem, really.”
“Where’s your place?”
“Couple blocks past yours. Like an extra fifteen minute walk or so.” Nodding at his words, about to ask how he knew how far away from your place he lived, before remembering he had given you a ride home a couple days ago.
“You don’t have to walk all the way if its easier –”
“It’s no problem at all!” He stressed with a light laugh, interrupting you as he knew what you were going to say. “Plus,” he smirked, “it’ll give me some piece of mind knowing you got home safe.”
Heat building in your cheeks at his words, suddenly unsure of what to say. Your relationship with him thus far had only been practically nonexistent. Choosing not to say anything, a silence fell over the pair of you once more.
“Never showed me any of your work,” Harry suddenly spoke up again.
“What?” Alcohol and exhaust clouding your brain, taking a second to understand what he was talking about.
“Last time, you mentioned you’d show me your work outside of film.”
Right. “Oh yeah,” words were a breath from your lips. “Well, next time. Promise.” You don’t know why you always felt a bit weird when someone asked you to show them what you did. It wasn’t like you shared some publicly, but when someone asked you personally it made you hesitate.
“I’ll hold you to that,” he nodded, as you realized you had made to the end of your street.
Harry still next to you, as you dug through your bag until you held you keys in your hand. Once again hesitating, unsure of why you felt so unsure. “Well,” you coughed, looking up at him. “Thank you.”
“Really no problem,” he hummed, and you realized you didn’t know how to say goodnight to him. Suddenly in your overthinking, you found yourself wrapping your arms around him to pull him in for a hug.
He seemed just as surprised by your action, though quickly softening up to you and wrapped an arm around your back. “Night,” he was warm against you, the feeling of being in his arms had found to be quite comforting in fact.
“Yeah,” he cleared his throat as you pulled away. “Night.”
                                                            ***
The following weekend, it was a miraculous day where nearly everyone had the day off. Everyone had met at the beach, enjoying a full day in the sun.
“You coming?” Margot’s voice pulled you out of your daydreams, turning over to where she stood above you.
“What?”
“We’re gonna try and play some volleyball. Key word is try.”
Giggling at her words, you shook your head. “No, I’m good for now. Honestly I might end up napping for a bit.”
“We’re just over there if you want to join!” You watched as she headed in the same direction she pointed, a bit down the beach where nets had been set up.
Once alone you reached for your back, immediately realizing you had forgotten to bring your book with you. Maybe a nap really was in the stars.
Already having applied enough sunscreen for the time being, you settled yourself on your back and placed your hat just over your eyes.
The quiet moment didn’t last long, however, as soon someone was standing over you, blocking the sun.
Reaching up to move the hat from your face, your eyes readjusting to the light to see Harry standing over you. “Can I join?”
“Up to you,” you hummed. You could just make out the faintest hints of a smirk at your passive answer. Hearing him readjust the beach towel next to you, as he claimed that spot.
Peeking an eye open, you saw as his head rested in his arms, tilting dangerously close to the exposed skin of your waist. He was resting on his front, facing you as his eyes peered up towards you. “Y’not playing volleyball?”
“Don’t feel like it,” muttering, you readjusted yourself slightly. “Why don’t you go play?”
“Don’t feel like it,” he mirrored.
You only hummed in response, moving your head to face the sky once again. Silence falling between the two of you as you tried to focus on the sound of the waves, and not on Harry laying next to you.
The silence didn’t last long however, as Harry shifted closer to you. “Why’re you ignoring me?”
You nearly snorted at his comment, propping yourself up on your elbow to gaze down at him. “I’m not ignoring you Harry. Just trying to relax.”
He let out a breath, turning his head to rest his cheek on his arm, facing you. You dropped your head back down on your towel, not without feeling his breath tickle your skin.
Your body betrayed you, just as you felt goosebumps rise on your skin.
Harry seemed to notice as well, and soon his breath wasn’t the only thing tickling you. Bringing a finger up to the skin of your tummy, he lightly traced his fingertip over the bumps rising over your abdomen.
Muscles tensing at his sudden touch, you moved your own hand down to your stomach and peeked an eye open to see him. His cheek remained on his forearm, hair falling around him on the towel.
“What are you…” you trailed off, honestly not being bothered by his touch. It was light, fingertips smoothing over your exposed skin.
“Jus’ relaxing, love.” The pet name slipped from between his lips, your body flushing even more at the way he said it so effortlessly.
“This okay?” he spoke again, quieter as you relaxed back onto the towel.
Humming in approval, you willed yourself to seem unbothered. His fingertips moved along your stomach, tracing mindless circles into the skin as his palm rested flat. It was nice, the light tickling and trailing on your skin, he was right to say it was relaxing.
You don’t know how long the two of your rested like that. Not many words were shared, both resting in a peaceful silence. You had slightly dozed off, never fully falling asleep as you were always aware of where Harry’s hand was on you.
At one point he wrapped his hand nearly completely around you, staying like that as he dozed off himself. You realized that he was basically cuddled around you, his head having shifted closer with his forehead resting on the skin over your ribs.
“Skin’s getting warm,” after a moment, you don’t really know how long, Harry’s voice pulled you out of your sleep. Sliding his arm off of you and lifted himself to rest on his elbows. “Y’should put on more sunscreen.”
Rising to a seated position, you crossed your legs as you glanced over at him. All you could do was nod dumbly at Harry’s comment, reaching out for your bag to grab the sunscreen that you had packed.
As you rubbed the sun block down your shins, you watched as Harry turned over to sit up as well and pulled out a couple containers that seemed to be filled with fruit.
“Brought snacks?”
“Just some fruits,” he shrugged, pushing his sunglasses off the bridge of his nose and onto the top of his head.
Just as you were repositioning the hat on your head, and digging through your mess of a tote back for your own sunglasses, you gasped as you felt something cold and wet on your thigh.
Glancing down, you saw a big slice of watermelon sitting on your leg.
“Heard you liked watermelon,” he shrugged again, and you looked at him just as he took and obscenely big bite of his own slice of fruit.
“Love fruits,” you murmured, as you picked the fruit up from where it sat on your leg. You were grateful to be wearing sunglasses now, as you couldn’t seem to take your eyes off of him as he ate his piece of watermelon.
“Y’got,” his voice broke the silence once again, pulling your attention back to him. Eyes wide as you watched his hand reach forward towards you, thumb swiping over your thigh. Collecting the watermelon juice that had trickled down your leg, sticking the digit past his lips.
“Sweet,” he hummed, lips perking into a smirk as he reached for another piece of fruit.
“You’re a pest,” shaking your head, with a giggle in your voice.
Watching as he reached across for his bag again, flashing you a mock pout. “Not very nice of you, love.” Turning away from you for a beat, facing you again with his 35mm.
“Stay still,” he murmured after bringing the camera to his eye, lens pointed towards you.
“Hey!” covering your face with the slice of watermelon in your hand, bringing your other hand down to readjust your bikini top that had slid down a bit.
“Stay still!’ He repeated, swatting his hand in your direction, fingertips brushing over your arm as he wordlessly told you to move it down.
Moving your arm, hovering the half-eaten slice of fruit next to your face, you complied to his request and stayed still while he took a picture of you.
Eyes lingering on you after he placed the camera aside with a smirk still playing at his lips with a gleam in his eyes. “What?” Giggling almost nervously as you shifted under his stare.
Sucking his bottom lip between his teeth, he paused before looking forward towards the water. “Nice day out, is all.”
He didn’t say anything more, leaning back on one arm as he finished off the rest of the fruit in hand. You watched him for another beat, eyes trialing from his face to the muscles that flexed under the skin of his arm.
Not immediately adverting your eyes you squinted a bit as you took in every detail of the tattoos covering his skin. You couldn’t help but wonder about them, so many for someone still reasonably young.
Just as you wondered if he had any particular reason for all of them, warm hands landed on your shoulder and a new body hovered over you.
“Hey,” a breathless Aiden reached over you to pluck a slice of watermelon from where they sat. “As it turns out, I do not like volleyball. Want to come to the water with me? I need a little cool off.”
Harry’s gaze met yours again for less than a second, before glancing up at where Aiden sat kneeling behind you. “I’m good, I can stay back and watch our stuff.”
Being pulled up to your feet, you left your hat and sunglasses in a pile on your towel before sauntering off with Aiden in the direction of where the water hit the land. Shooting another brief look behind you to see Harry’s eyes on you again. Sending a smile his way as you tugged up the thin straps of your bottoms that rested at your hips, just as Aiden pulled at your wrist as he skipped towards the water.
“Feels nice,” Aiden hummed, once both of you were ankle deep in the cold water. The sun was shinning hot today, only a barely there breeze present to cool you down. Aiden was right, soaking in the water doing wonders for your bodily temperature.
Taking the plunge, literally, as the two of you submerging yourselves under water as you played around. Once the water was leaving goosebumps on your skin you guys wandered around the shore, picking up odd rocks as if you were birds looking for something flashy.
“He’s always staring at you,” Aiden bumped his arm with yours, nodding his head towards where the group sat after abandoning the volleyball game.
“Who?”
“Harry,” mindlessly looking up from the rocks by your feet, squinting in the sun. “You guys seem much more amicable.”
“Yeah,” nodding as you thought over his words. “Working with him has been good lately. He’s like, kind of intense, but in a hot way y’know?”
Aiden laughed at your description. “I think he’s into you. Probably has been into you this entire time.”
Scoffing at his words, you glanced at your friend. “I don’t know about that.” Your words were a lie, having thought about the possibility a couple times but you didn’t want to overthink it.
“Don’t be dense.” Aiden laughed, suddenly bending over to pick up a rock and holding it in front you. “Here, this one reminds me of Margot.”
                                                            ***
No one was in the dark room when you got there, working alone as you worked though a roll for a customer. Moving your paper into the developer, you nearly forgot about them as pictures drying off caught your attention.
They were obviously Harry’s and not one of a client, as you recognized nearly everyone photographed. Your gaze moved over every image, quickly moving your own roll over to the stop bath, before looking back at Harry’s pictures.
There were a few from that day at the beach, times when you hadn’t even realized Harry had the camera pointed at anyone. You saw yourself in some of them, laughing away with Margot as the sun set behind the pair of you, distant shots of you and Aiden sticking out of the water.
They were beautifully candid, the evidence of Harry’s visual eye very clear in all the images.
The picture of you with the watermelon he had snapped was probably one of the best pictures someone had taken of you in years. You looked relaxed, small smile playing at your lips as you looked down at the lens, the sun glowing on half of your face.
Small gasp at the sound of the door opening behind you, spinning around to barely make out Harry’s frame. “Scared me,” you murmured, letting out a sigh as you moved back to your solvents and moved your paper to the fixing solvent.
“Didn’t realize anyone was here,” his voice carried through the room as he walked in, standing by where you just admiring his work.
“Thought I’d get a start on those,” you hummed, pointed to where you still had film to expose. “Those are really great,” you saw his head turn to you as you complimented his work he had just started gathering up. “Didn’t realize you’d been taking so many pictures.”
“Thanks,” just making out the shine in his eyes, he flipped through them before shuffling over to you. “Did you see this one?”
Squinting, you saw him holding up the image of you with the watermelon. “I did. Really like it.”
“It’s my favourite,” Harry nodded, glancing down at it.
You were happy to be standing in a literal dark room, as you felt a flush rise up your neck. It was a compliment to his photography skills really, but it was also a compliment to you. A silence overtook the room, and you suddenly felt so incredibly nervous for very little reason.
“Why did you hate me?”
What the hell was that. Blurting things out wasn’t really your style as you were fairly good at keeping a tight filter on the words that left your mouth, except maybe after a couple drinks. But in this moment, for some reason, you truly needed to know why Harry had seemed to resent you so much when you first met.
His head turned back to yours in a quick motion, nearly unable to see it in the dim amber light. His mouth opened, as if to speak, but no words came out.
“I mean –” you sighed, glancing away from him as embarrassment trickled through your skin. “You just seemed not very… fond of me.”
“I never hated you,” his words were laced with a sigh, shoulders dropping a bit as he turned his body to face yours. His face glowed the soft orange from the room that surrounded you. “You should move your papers out of the fix bath.”
“What?” You blinked as if broken out of a daze.
“The fix bath, it’s been a couple minutes.”
“Fuck,” muttering as you spun around, grabbing your abandoned tongs and moved the paper into the water for its wash. Watching your image float around for a second, prodding it gently with the tongs.
“I never hated you,” Harry repeated from next to you, making you turn to him once again as you dropped the tongs on the counter. “I was just – I guess I was intimidated? Not really the right word but,”
He trailed off, showing no sign of continuing as you couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your mouth. “Why?”
The beginnings of a smile grew on his lips at your lighter tone. “I guess… I don’t know. Saw you around campus a lot, I guess I froze up.”
“Froze up?” Questioning him again and not fully understanding his explanation.
“I mean,” he paused again, averting his gaze as he fiddled with a ring around his finger, “yeah something like that.”
You could only nod, still not fully understanding what he was trying to communicate.
“Plus,” he added, seemingly to recover form his uncertain composure with a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. “Like getting a rise out of you.”
“Clearly,” you laughed, matching his smile. “Seem to be pretty good at it, too.”
He didn’t say anything, letting your words hang around the two of you for a bit too long. He wasn’t avoiding your eyes anymore, and you were once again grateful for being in a dark room so he couldn’t see the warmth that spread over your skin.
“Well,” you finally spoke again, voice suddenly quiet. “I have more film to get to.”
“Right,” Harry nodded as he stepped away from you, grabbing his images he had left on the counter. “I should go. I’ll see you soon.”
Watching as he gathered everything he had come for, bidding his goodbye to you and reaching for the doorknob.
“See you, Harry.”
                                                            ***
“Did you do a test strip for these?”
“Yeah,” you called over your shoulder, moving your images into their third and final solvent.
“And they turned out well?” His voice grew louder, causing you to spin around to face him. “Because the setting on the enlarger is really not what it should be.”
“Harry –”
“They’re not gonna come out, you’re going to have to redo them. How many have you done like this now?” Even under the barely there light you could make out the hard expression on his face.
“I know what I’m doing. I did a bunch of trials with my own film and paper that are ready right over there.”
Letting out an irritated breath as you turned around, gripping a corner of the photo that was currently floating in its bath.
“Look,” you held up the wet photo paper with the tongs. Harry took a step closer, eyes narrowing on the image you held up. “They’re exactly what they should be.”
He was silent for a bit, you could hear his agitated exhales puff out next you. Leaning in to the image, you heard a small ‘fuck’ leave his lips.
“Don’t let this go to your head,” he muttered eyes flicking between yours and the image.
“Already has. Harry we’ve been through this. You need to trust me, I know what I’m doing.” Narrowing your eyes at him slightly, as is if challenging him.
“You can’t just go around changing everything, there’s a process.”
“Yeah and I followed it. And they turned out really well, so don’t give me shit.”
He took a pause, eyeing you down. Pushing hair off his forehead, he placed his hand on the counter next to you. “You’re unbelievable.”
You didn’t know if he meant it in a good way or bad way.
His eyes on you were as intent as ever, burning right through your own; his face an unreadable as ever.
“Fuckin’ unbelievable.”
Lips pressed to yours in a fast kiss. Both the shock of the action and his body knocking yours as his hand came to cup your face caused you to step back, hitting the edge of the counter.
As quickly as it happened it was over, your eyes remaining wide open on him. His gaze was dropped down to the small space between the two of you, breath leaving his lips in small puffs.
“I – fuck – that’s not how I wanted that to happen,” his eyes lifted to yours, hand still holding the side of your face as his thumb stroked your cheek.
The feeling of his lips lingered on yours. “I couldn’t help myself,” his voice dropped, eyes glazing over your lips again.
Tongue quickly licking your lips, tentatively you lifted your own hands up, trailing your fingertips lightly over the fabric of his shirt, gripping the neckline. “You wanted to kiss me?”
His shoulders dropped slightly, smile pulled at his lips, as he visibly swallowed before speaking. “I – always.”
His words sent a rush through your body, wanting to feel him on you again. “Want to again?”
Harry didn’t waste a second, hand sliding to the back of your head. His other hand lifted to the small of your back, pushing your body closer to his. His kiss was a bit more tentative, pulling you gently against him.
Growing in confidence as you tugged on the fabric of his shirt, his mouth sliding open over yours and he pulled you in for more. Lips slotting open on yours as he pulled you in for more, and more.
A sigh being pulled from the back of your throat catches in his mouth as his fingers gripped tightly into the loose fabric of your dress. Your own hand wrapping around his shoulders, moving to pull at the hair that hung at the nape of his neck.
Greedily licking into your mouth as if he would die without the taste of you. Back arching as you pushed yourself against him, hips knocking with his.
Lips parting away with a ‘Christ’ grunted from Harry, uneven breaths swirling together. Dark eyes burning into your own, you felt a hand drop from your hip down your thigh, fingers fidgeting with the hem of your dress.
His lips met the skin of your jaw, hand on the back of your head tugging at your hair to tilt your head back, exposing your neck to him. His lips dipped down, a trail of wet kisses along your skin, teeth nipping at the skin that elicited a pitched gasp to leave your parted lips.
His body kept yours pinned against the counter, fingertips tickling the bare skin on your thigh as your own weaved through his hair. Your name tumbling from his lips as you pushed your hips against his. “What’re you doing to me, love.”
Fingertips easing down his shirt covered chest, pushing at him the slightest bit until his lips broke away from your skin. “We should,” your voice was so nearly breathless, “finish up here.”
Hand moving from his shoulder as you weakly motioned to the room around you, remembering you were both technically on the clock. “Yeah,” Harry blew out a sigh, his forehead resting on your shoulder momentarily. “We should.”
Taking a small step away from you as his eyes landed on your, hands moving to brush over your bare arms until his fingertips fiddled with yours. “You’re done working for the day, right?”
“I could be.”
Lips kinked into a smirk.  “Do you,” Harry paused, interlocking your fingers as his hands continued to fidget with your own. “Come home with me? Promise just for dinner, a drink, whatever you want.”
Biting back a smile, you thought over his words.  “Plus,” he added. “Got a killer view of the sunset.”
You couldn’t help the grin that broke out on your face. “Won me over.”
The two of you finished off cleaning up the room quickly, properly emptying out baths of solvent, putting away all photopaper and making sure everything was turned off.
The front of the shop had already been seen to, only needing to punch in the code and lock the door before you were walking over to where Harry had parked down the street.
His arm had bumped yours as you left the shop, just before his fingers brushed over your hand to grab hold of it.
Once seated in the passenger seat of his car, he passed you his phone letting you have free reign over the music. The drive was quick, you were soon walking up steps in an apartment building you had passed countless times.
“Do you have a roommate?” Realizing he had never seemed to mention anything about his living situation.
“No,” Harry unlocked his door as you followed close behind. “Kind of lucky I guess, I was able to find this place.”
Nodding, very familiar with the joys of having the house to yourself. Following Harry as he kicked off his shoes, walking through his studio. You loved seeing inside people’s places, how they arranged their things, what they had lying around. It was also nice to see that the place had actually feel to it, seeming like he didn’t just have a mattress on the floor.
Standing in his kitchen, you watched as he placed his things on the counter by the door. Curiously glancing at the space around you, loving to snoop on the banality of the way other people lived.
“So, where’s this killer view?” Being on the fourth flour of the building, you didn’t doubt the view was nice, not having that luxury at your own place.
“Patience, darling.” He grinned at you from across the kitchen. “First, you want anything to drink? I’ve got water, tea…” he trailed off, brows furrowing as he seemed to have run out of things to offer you.
“Tea’s good,” you laughed, watching as he nodded and grabbed his kettle to fill with water. “Where’s your washroom?”
“Just around the corner,” he pointed, as you headed in that direction. Taking extra time to observe his things in the washroom, forever curious about how other people lived and taking it as a good sign seeing his washroom clean and fairly organized.
You were soon sitting on a on a little bench that he had out on a tiny balcony, tea in hand as you sat side by side. He was right, the sun was just setting and it lit up the sky with an orange glow.
As per Harry’s request, you had finally shown him some pictures of your art off your phone. You had blushed under his compliments, leaving your phone by your side as conversation died between the two of you and you both enjoyed the view. His arm wrapped around you, pulling you to rest against his chest.
It wasn’t long until Harry’s lips were on your skin once again. Starting with small kisses on you’re your shoulder, his head dipping down behind you. Innocent at first, you didn’t move in your position. Craning his head until his mouth met your neck, tongue darting out between parted lips.
You didn’t move until his teeth nipped the skin, eliciting a jolt from you in shock. Moving his head from the crook of your neck, hand coming up to your cheek, single finger pushing your head around to face him.
His mouth met yours, hesitant at first as he let you adjust yourself slightly so you wouldn’t have your neck twisted. His arm around you pulled you in closer, as your brought one leg up on the bench next to you so that you could press your chest against his.
Your own hands came up around his neck as your mouth opened with his, kissing him deeper and deeper while the sun set behind you. He held you tightly against him as if you’d slip away from him if he didn’t, as he selfishly pulled unrelenting kisses from you.
Moving his hand from your cheek to your waist, fingertips trailing over your dress until they were on your bare thigh, palm smoothing over your skin. Shivering at his touch, you shifted yourself even closer to him as you accepted the warmth coming off of him, as if he was replacing the setting sun.
Lips parting with a pant, heavy eyes darting from his swollen lips, his tousled hair to meet his own dazed gaze. Watching his eyes drop to the small space between you, to the fabric of the dress that he was fiddling with in one hand.
“Always wearing these little dresses,” he muttered, eyes narrowing on where the fabric rode up to expose more of your leg. His hand on your thigh pushing under the skirt, fingertips gripping tightly on your skin.
Lips nearing your ear, nipping at the spot under the lobe. “Always teasing me.”
Feeble whimper at his words, as he payed close attention to your neck, memorizing which spots made your gasp against him and retaining the subtle hint of your perfume to memory.
All while his hand smoothed over the outside of your thigh, pushing your dress up as he went over your hip. Fingers spreading over the extent of your hips, lightly pinching the skin of your ass. You felt them move over the band of your underwear, toying with the thin material.
“Let me,” he muttered against your skin, voice nearly incoherent. “Le’ me – can I? Please.”
“Yes,” the word was a whine, quick and rushed from your mouth. And his hand dipped down over your underwear and between your thighs. You jolt against him, fingers easily finding and pressing over your clothed clit.
“Fuck me, you’re wet.” His hand palmed over your center, pressing against you in a way that made you press your lips tightly together, head dipping down to the crook of his neck.
A single finger pushed your underwear aside, pushing through your folds. “Soaked through,” humming appreciatively, circling around your wetness.
A whimper against him had him wanting to hear more, other hand moving around your hips as you ground down over his hand.
Suddenly pulling his hand away, you lifted your head up to gaze up at him. Mouth gaping open as you wanted to whine, not a single sound coming out when you watched him slip his fingers past his lips, humming around them tasting you.
“Sweet,” he muttered, wet hand gripping your thigh once again as he trapped your lips in for a kiss. “Hop on my thigh,” he spoke into your mouth, posing it as a question but it was more of a demand.
“Wha’?”
He moved a hand to his own jean covered leg, patting it twice. “Wan’ you to get off on m’thigh.”
Blinking at his words, you found yourself nodding and readjusted with both legs now on the bench, a leg on either side of his thigh. You’d never gotten off this way before, especially not sitting outside on a balcony while the world quieted around you.
“Tha’s it, finally listening to me,” he hummed, hands reaching under your dress to grip your hips firmly. Your own hands wrapped around his neck, gripping onto his hair.
Pressing your heat onto his leg, grinding and rolling onto him. Gasping as you moved back and forth over him, fingers tight in his hair and chest every so often pressing into his. He kept encouraging you, watching every movement and motion you were making on top of him.
“Is it good?” He mumbled, lips sucking between his teeth as he kept his eyes narrowed on the way your hips moved on top of him.
“Yes,” you sighed, finding that sweet spot that sent sparks trough your legs. “’M gonna get your thigh all wet.”
“Good,” fingertips digging into your skin, “want you to.”
Lips stuck between your teeth as you tried to stay quiet, small whimpers building through your throat while he aided you on top of him. “Go a bit’ rougher love, that’s it.”
Grinding tightly on top of him, rough fabric pulling at you in ways you thought it couldn’t. He dipped back down to your neck, biting and sucking at the sensitive skin as he whispered hot words of encouragements.
Winding yourself up as you got off, shivering as he moaned your name into your skin and begged you to cum. Messily rolling your hips as he sucked hotly on a particular spot under your jaw, tension in your stomach building and building until you couldn’t keep your lips tight together anymore.
“Cum f’me, wan’ you to,” Harry grunted into the air when he pulled away from you, eyes focused on the way your eyes shut and teeth pulled at your lip.
“Look so pretty right now, with the sky glowing behind you – fuck, wish I had my camera.”
A string of nearly incomprehensible words urging you on, wanting nothing more than to see you come undone on top of him.
“Harry! Feels so good I’m –”
His mouth met yours as you chased your high, hot open mouth catching your whines in a messy kiss. “Go on,” he spurred, “gimme a good one.”
Tugging at his hair tightly as you found your orgasm, thighs squeezing his as your mouth dropped open. Shuddering against him as your limbs numbed at the intensity, pushing your chest on his with a sharp arch in your back.
You hang off him as your try to even your breathing, his lips finding the top of your head with a series of chaste kisses. “Did so good,” he praises.
Lifting your head after a moment, kissing a line from his cheek to his mouth. Shakily moving a leg to the wooden floor, lifting yourself off of Harry and onto your feet. “You got a bed?”
“Fuckin’ – follow me.” Harry scrambled up behind you, shutting the glass doors that led to the balcony to keep out the flying bugs and the cool night air. He led you through the studio, watching with heavy eyelids as you undid the small buttons that went from the top to the bottom on the front of your dress.
Kneeling on the mattress in front of him, you watched as he tugged his shirt over his head, standing at the foot of the bed in front of you. Immediately reaching a hand to his bare chest, fingertips lightly trancing over the tattoos on his skin until they reached the band of his jeans.
He visibly swallowed as you narrowed your eyes on your fingers, tugging his belt loose and reaching for the zipper.
“Darling,” his voice was clipped, watching your every move. Pulling his jeans past his hips along with his briefs, head tilting further down as your hand wrapped around his length.
He was hard, seemingly painfully so. Especially after your lips pressed to his skin with wandering hands, and especially after you got off on him with his name falling from your lips. Your grasp light, thumb moving over his tip to collect the drops of precum between your fingers, smoothing your palm around him. Inhaling sharply through his teeth, with a tight lipped ‘fuck’ being muttered under his breath.
“’s pretty,” you silently wondered how far back he’d reach in your mouth.
He leaned into your touch, teeth worrying over his bottom lip with a quick exhale. “I – I’m already worked up,” his voice was deep, pulling your attention to his face.
He slowly blinked, shaky breath as you let go of your grasp around his cock. His own hands came down sliding around your back, helping you out of your flimsy bralette. “Let’s get you out of this.”
Eyes falling over your newly exposed skin, as you shifted further back on the bed. He came down on top of you in a blink of an eye, tongue licking into your mouth deeply as you eased you down under him.
His hands were everywhere, cradling your head, massaging your breasts, digging into to your thigh. You accepted him on top of you, feeling his length laying heavy on your thigh as he rutted against you. Lips moving down, seemingly also wanting to lick and suck on every inch of your skin.
“How do you want to –” you didn’t finish your sentence, as Harry’s fingers tugged down your thin underwear, last piece of clothing tossed aside.
“Could have you any way love,” he quickly spoke, propping himself up on an arm to lift himself a bit. “Want you under me though. Want you close.”
Whining at his words, wordlessly begging him to hurry. He suddenly leaned over you, arm reaching aside as he dug through the drawer next to the bed. In a moment he was up on his knees, rolling a condom down his length, and the next he was back on top of you.
“Want you deep,” moaning into his mouth as you felt his cock rest heavy against your thigh, legs spreading as you hooked a leg around his waist.
Shifting his hips, he rubbed himself through your folds, collecting your wetness on his cock. Lips parting as he pushed himself in with a grunt, slowly easing his way in with a pressured stretch.
“Bleedin’ – y’feel amazing,” his voice was quick, eyes squeezed shut as you wrapped around him. “Good?”
“Yes,” you whined, pushing your hips up to meet his. “S’full.”
One hand wrapping under your knee to pull your leg up higher, lips pressed in quick kisses from the corner of your mouth down to your jaw. He slowly moved his hips, pushing deeply into you. Your own hands were tight around him, palms digging into the skin of his back.
He continued with languid thrusts, slow but tough. “S’ this good? You want more?”
“Please,” you whimpered, back arching and head pushing into the pillows as you ached for more. Your hands were wound in his hair, fingertips scratching into his scalp.
“Who would’ve thought,” a smirk lined his lips, though his voice was strained as he started a slow pace thrusting into you. “Suddenly listening to every word I say.”
“Fuck,” you couldn’t conjure up any kind of remark, as he finally pushed into you with force, one hand gripping tightly onto your hip, his fingertips sure to leave marks on your skin.
He was everywhere: his lips on your shoulder, hand flat around your hip, and he was deep.
Keeping a somewhat steady pace, lifting himself slightly over you when he dipped his head down and watched where the two of you connected. “S’pretty cunt,” he moaned, head hovering over yours before his lips slotted over yours in a sloppy kiss.
He pressed inside of you in every right way, the feeling of your second orgasm of the night already building. Tugging at his skin with one hand as you pushed yourself against him, other hand reaching to grip his hand that was currently massaging your chest.
Pulling his hand up, his pace faltered a bit as you pushed his thumb into your mouth. Lips enclosing around it, tongue licking and sucking on the digit. He watched you, eyes narrowed on your mouth.
Releasing it with a breath, his eyes flicked between his hand and your face. Understanding your intention, arm quickly snaking in the space between the two of you until his thumb was on your clit.
“Harry,” you shuddered under him, the sensation in the put of your stomach built. Clenching around him, his lips moved to your neck again with a grunt. “Love m’name on your lips.”
Shifting your hips again, widening your legs around him as you felt him even deeper. The overwhelming sensation of Harry filling all of your senses. “Can’t – please tell me your close, darling.”
“So close,” whimpering under him, “please.” You don’t know what you were begging for, you just needed something, anything.
Fingers gripping you tight as his thumb pressed onto your clit, thrusts getting sloppier but hitting just right inside of you. You had your own hands weaved around his neck, nails digging into his skin as you pushed you head back into the pillow.
“Harry,” you reached you peak, thighs squeezing him tight and chest pushing into his as your back arched. “Tha’s it,” he moaned your name against your skin, easing you through your orgasm. Grip on him tight as you bit your lip so hard you were sure it could bleed, you writhed under his grasp as the high died down.
“I can’t – so good,” his voice was nearly incomprehensible, lips muffled and words nonsensical. Clenching around him, he couldn’t hold back anymore after the way you came around him. He gripped you tightly with a couple final thrusts, calling your name and for god as he came into the condom.
“You’re unbelievable,” he muttered, remaining pressed on top of you as he tried to regain his breath. Your hand moving through his hair, pushing it off his forehead as he kissed you once more before lifting himself off of you.
You stayed still, already feeling a colder without his body heat over top of you. Rolling your head to face with him with a grin, he returned the smile before quickly rising to a seated position on the mattress.
Getting up and going to discard of the condom, he suddenly disappeared from your view completely. “Where –”
Before you could ask, he reappeared with his 35mm in hand, coming over to kneel above you. “Stay still,” he mumbled as you moved to prop yourself up on your elbow, taking a moment to process what he was doing. “’S just your face I promise.”
Nodding with a breathless laugh, pushing one hand over your hair knowing that you surely didn’t look your best.
“Told you to stay still,” he hummed, as you gazed up at him. Inched the lens closer to you, hearing the click of the film a second later as he took a picture.
“Bet I look completely fucked out.”
“You do look completely fucked out.” He laughed, placing his camera next to you as he moved back to sit on the bed.
“Almost done with this roll, want to get this developed as soon as possible.”
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mojaves · 3 years ago
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🌹🍂🌾🌠 for jason & marcus!
OUGRGhrgrh you know exactly how to make my brain go into overdrive
SORRY THIS GOT VERY LONG
🌹 Where in the world does your OC feel most at home? Is there any reason why? If it’s not the place they were born, where were they born? Is there a certain somebody that makes them feel at home where ever they may be? What does home mean to them?
for marcus. it's pretty much wherever his friends and family are. a familiar face always makes him feel Safe. he was born in california so thats Also home to him. but sometimes he wants to be as far away from there as possible. like i said before home is Warmth and Safety thats what it is to him.
same for jason, but he has never really felt like that. not for a very long time anyway <3 home??? he doesnt feel like he has one. he doesnt feel like he really Belongs anywhere + he doesnt want to admit it but marcus is the closest thing he has to home and thats Very gay of him i think
🍂 Does your OC enjoy hugs? What do they do as a show of affection for: their friends, their family, their significant other(s) or for strangers? Over all what are they like with recieving affection from others?
THEY ARE BOTH BIG HUGGERS but again bc of jason being Like That he has to act like he hates hugs. any sort of affection from anyone and he's like. I Have To Go Home Right Now Immediately. so he can cry bc of how starved he is of love and touch and. aorusrkghsfghkl
marcus hugs lou and morgan all the time. they are Very Close. he loves hugs. he loves the warmth + comfort and safety that comes from it. again. he is like a little cat in a patch of sunlight. he loves affection his brain always goes !!!!!!!! when anyone is nice to him and compliments him. biggest cheesiest grin you have ever seen Every Time.
🌾 Describe your OC through the eyes of someone absolutely head-over-heels in love with them
oh this one is going to Kill Me ok. OK
to jason, marcus is the single most delightful person he has ever met in his life. a ray of sunshine. he would collect every single star in the universe for the guy if it meant he'd be happy. the goofy smile makes him Very Weak at the knees every time he sees it. and marcus smiles So often. he's in hell. this little man made him realise that he's allowed to love and Be loved and that not everyone has an ulterior motive. the world isnt out to get him. he loves Everything about marcus he cant deal with it bc he's 'too cute' or whatever. again very gay of him. also he loves how short marcus is compared to him bc of how Easy he is to pick up. A+ boyfriend material he couldnt have asked for better
AND to marcus?? jason is very much still big and scary and intimidating, but he finds that very. endearing in a weird way. bc he Knows most of how jason looks/acts is just a front he's putting on. marcus has a think for broody men ok. anyway. he's seen the man smile a few times and he went Insane. internally. every single time. a small genuine smile that makes Him weak at the knees. they cant smile at each other or they will both collapse. he looks at jason and he's like thats MY big huge handsome man that will carry me when i am a little bit tired. my absolute bastard man. my man will kick your man's ass in a fight he's so good at it. and he's pretty (: he is the prettyest man i have ever seen in my ENTIRE life. there is no one prettier. have you seen his eyes?? have you seen how Tall he is?? he's so tall. im in love with him your honour.
basically. they cant shut up about each other. and the other's mere existence makes them insane. but in like. a good way. theyre so painfully in love with each other i need to lie down
🌠 On a scale of 1 - 10 how Baby is your OC? BONUS when asking this question rate the OC yourself as see if the reply matches up!!
the exact opposite of what you would expect bc marcus is like a 5? 6? on baby scale bc he can handle himself faily well but also he's small and cute and i would hold him oh so gently in my hands.
jason is like. 11. because he's got so many issues and problems and he needs to lie down. he needs 5000 warm blankets i NEED to cradle him in my arms like a newborn baby. my god
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drawlfoy · 4 years ago
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Detention, Retention, and Draco Being a Lying Shit (halloweek day 1!)
masterlist 
request guidelines
pairing: draco x reader
request: nope!
summary: y/n’s two month detention sentence goes from being the bane of her existence to harry potter’s last hope to bringing down malfoy.
a/n: hiiiiiii everyone so i’m starting new classes today and idk how much time im gonna have to write consistently until i’m home for break but i just want to thank all of you! this week is my tribute to everyone who takes time out of their day to continue reading my content. i have so much appreciation for you.
warnings: cursing, mentions of violence, mentions of drugging someone (in jest)
taglist: @gruffle1 @missmulti @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop @naomimoonshard @jejegu @ophelia-enthusiast
word count: 1.1k
no music recs for today i b tired fdjskfdsja
For legal purposes, the york pudding she lobbed at Pansy Parkinson’s head on Monday evening was simply meant to be a joke. She didn’t know that her aim was bad enough that it was going to get in Snape’s hair instead--honestly, it wasn’t even supposed to get past the Ravenclaw table, much less veer to the left to make a beeline for the professors--but no matter how much she tried to explain this to McGonagall, her sentence remained the same: detention every Friday. For two months.
Her life was ending for sure.
“I honestly don’t know what you were expecting,” Hermione told her as she gently wiped off the nib of her quill later that night in the common room. “Even if you had hit your mark, that’s still technically assault.”
“Did you even hear what she said to me? She told me that I looked like the type of kid that bit people in primary school,” complained Y/N. “I didn’t even think she knew what primary school was!”
Hermione snorted. “How long ago?”
“Two days. I’ve been waiting until there was something throwable on the dinner table.”
“How very analytic of you.”
“I’m going to hit you.”
“And you wonder why you’ve got detention.” Hermione tsk-ed at her, her face stone serious but her tone light hearted. “Maybe take this as an opportunity to, I don’t know, do your homework for once? So you won’t have to have a breakdown over the next Potion’s essay and beg me to write it for you?”
“I’m going to go to sleep and think terribly mean thoughts about you.”
“Have fun.”
Detention.
Something that Y/N wasn’t completely unfamiliar with--she’d done her time organizing Snape’s cabinets, just like every other Gryffindor--but it was different when it came to McGonagall. An impressive old lady, she thought that McGonagall saw something in her. She was always the first to chuckle at Y/N’s jokes and hesitated to reprimand her stupid behavior. And she never gave Y/N detention.
Until now, she supposed. 6th year was changing a lot of things--even their Potions professor--so McGonagall turning a new stone shouldn’t have been anything shocking.
At least, not as shocking as the first thing Y/N saw as she walked into her house head’s office.
“Malfoy?” she spat.
The platinum blonde didn’t even bother to look up from his desk.
“Miss Y/L/N,” Professor McGonagall chided. “I think we would all prefer if you restrained yourself from getting into any more physical altercations with Slytherins.”
She huffed, plopping down in the chair furthest away from THAT foul git and reaching for her satchel.
“I’ll be back in two hours,” said the elderly professor. “If I hear anything, and I mean anything, other than the sound of studying, consider your sentence doubled.”
With a swish of her robes, McGonagall was gone, leaving her with Malfoy. 
“So what’d you do to get in here, huh? Did the administration finally get a hold of that video of you licking Voldemort’s toes?”
“What the fuck does that mean?!” he snapped, whipping around to glare at her.
“‘s just a joke,” said Y/N. “Like--how everyone says your family houses him and everything--but whatever. I can tell it’s a sore spot.”
His gaze, never withering in intensity, remained trained on her face. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Apparently so. What’re you in for?”
He exhaled sharply. “If I tell you, will you shut up and let me think?”
“No promises, but maybe.”
“Late work. I forgot to turn in the Transfiguration exam last week.”
She made a tutting sound as she lazily shuffled through the crumpled parchment in her satchel. “I expected more from you. Aren’t you gonna ask me how I wound up here?”
“No. I am going to ask you to stop talking now, though.”
~
“That’s terribly unfortunate,” Hermione said over breakfast the next morning. Ron and Harry were nervously chit chatting at the other side of the table over the Saturday Quidditch game against Slytherin--supposedly it was supposed to be quite a high stakes match. Not like Y/N cared much, though.
“Yeah! And the worst part was that he won’t even tease anymore. Like, he just sits there all broody and woe is me. We’re ALL on the brink of war...he’s not special!”
“Who are you talking about?” asked Harry.
“Oh, just Malfoy,” said Y/N. “We have detention together with McGonagall. He’s such a nasty little greaseball, don’t you think? I mean, look at him right now, glowering over his cereal.”
“Wait! That’s it!”
“What’s it, Harry?” Hermione asked.
“It’s genius, really,” he said. “Y/N has to spend time with him alone every week, and we know that something is up with him. Malfoy is absolutely a Death Eater and has connections to You-Know-Who, but I just need to find a way to prove it.”
“I vaguely forecast where this is going, and I hate it already.”
“Listen, Y/N. It’s not for that long, and it’s for the health of the wizarding world. If you just get to know him--”
“Ick!”
“If you just get to know him, maybe get him to trust you and find out his secrets...we’d finally have enough to turn him in and throw him out of Hogwarts for good.”
“Is that really necessary, Harry?” Ginny butted in from her seat further down next to Dean. “Malfoy’s probably just exhausted like the rest of you. 6th year is difficult, and we have no solid evidence that he’s a Death Eater. I’m sure being stuck in a room with him for 2 hours is hard enough without pretending to be nice to him.”
“But what if Harry’s right?” said Y/N. “What if he is actually a Death Eater? What if he’s an active danger to the student body?”
“Exactly!” The joy written across Harry’s face at the prospect of someone else finally agreeing was infectious. “So will you?”
“Er…” She dragged her spoon across the top layer of her porridge. “In theory, sure. In actuality, I’m not sure how I could do it. Malfoy doesn’t want anything to do with me, either.”
“Love potion?” offered Ron.
“I don’t care how much of a prat he is, I’m not roofying him.”
“I rarely agree with you, Y/N, but I think you’re right. If you want to do this, you need to get him to trust you for real.”
“Your back-handed compliment skills never disappoint, Hermione. Do you think you could help me out with a plan?”
A slow smile spread across the girl’s face as she nodded. “That’s my strong suit.”
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coweggomelet · 3 years ago
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i apparently enjoy putting down my thoughts on the off chance someone will read it and enjoy it so here’s rwby rewatch vol 3. i’m ready to be sad!!
(note: it’s long i’m sorry, i have many thoughts and i tried to narrow it down but oh boy do i think im funny)
- the SOUND DESIGN. AGAIN
- ruby you’re so precious. so sweet. so eager. so earnest. c’mere and i’ll protect you from all the bad shit that happens to you later
- hi cardboard cutout tai
- i keep getting an ad for a rooster teeth show called camp betrayal and the way this man says “hoo hoo hoo” will haunt me for the rest of time
- oh shit the fact that it’s called amity has such insane implications for what it’s used for later. jesus.
- “bffs!” “No.” “…/yessss/” love them
- yeet the yang
- god ruby’s admiration of emerald is so sad in retrospect like… oh boy ruby you’re in for it
- PYRRHAAAAA I LOVE YOU DONT LEAVE ME
- “even if you know how a story ends, that doesn’t make it any less fun to watch” wow cinder are you psychic
- ummmm they’re having a talk can you please respect their privacy
- thor whomst??? i only know nora valkyrie
- BROODY MAN
- hiiiii gavin
- so much mid battle banter. in the middle of a big important fight they just have to make jokes and argue. i love teenagers
- SILENCE YOU BOOB
- awww winter you’re a disaster and you’re horribly emotionally repressed because of your bitch ass dad but jesus christ you care about your little sister and you wanna know she’s doing okay and i’m emotional about it
- PENNYYYYY my love just keep being you
- jeez i forgot how early on ironwood was talking his shit about being “someone who will act”, the “only person” who will do what needs to be done, as if his course of action is what needs to be done
- every single person who underestimates emerald and mercury gets so fucked up. like so many people look at these youngerish teenagers with some funny one liners and banter and go “oh they seem capable and they’re confident and funny so i like em but i can take em” and then absolutely get the shit kicked out of them. and i think that’s why they’ve been so successful, cause nobody takes them seriously enough to consider them a threat.
- see this is why i love rwby. coco just turned her handbag into a gatling gun and cut down a field of grass with it
- god the way they hint at emerald’s semblance before fully showing what it is. *chef’s kiss*
- winter marry me
- we love an uncle who absolutely destroys his nieces at video games
- “they do and they’re called silver!” ruby i love you
- top heavy. heheh
- this dude’s weapon is a trumpet!! she’s got glowing nunchucks!! i love this show!!
- this battle music is AMAZING what the FUCK they’re fighting to JAZZ
- cinder if you keep having vague ominous dialogue people are gonna get the wrong idea
- oh yeah great idea asking a child to take on immense power which sends her into a stressed out panicky spiral and alienates her from the people she finally feels legitimately connected to and for once didn’t feel alienated from
- oh fuck. oh fuck the finals. oh god. oh no.
- she’s so happy. she’s so ready to have a good fight. i’m gonna cry
- FUCK
- and with one moment, the entire show flipped on its head
- god when i watched that the first time i fuckin freaked. i was not prepared man. i was warned. but i was not prepared for this much of a fucking tone change man. that quickly. like tone changes (in my experience) normally happen gradually, but this one happened in, what? 30 seconds?
- fuck
- god this is so bad
- and it GETS WORSE i can’t do this
- love that we can see yang’s distraught eyebrows through her bangs
- after this episode was the first time my friend asked me “how we doing buddy?” and i’ve only wanted to kill her more since then
- oh god emerald’s backstory. this poor child. she was so alone and cinder was there and said i can give you a place i can give you a purpose i can give you security and emerald latched on so hard.
- hiiiii laura bailey i wish you had more than a lil baby line and some sounds of effort
- god that little anklet
- god what a fuckin backstory episode man. backstory? evil plan explanation? idk but it was good
- great parent move. telling your kid you’ll only save them once.
- jaune you sweet good boy. what a good boy. i love him
- god this poor child. she doesn’t deserve this. FUCK i’m so sad. is that the last conversation they have?
- oooooh shit this song is so good. what the fuck i have chills it’s so fitting
- god everyone else is so happy and excited and then there’s ruby who is one of the very few people who knows how bad a fight between penny and pyrrha could be and pyrrha who’s got to decide if she wants someone else’s aura smushed with hers, which could turn her into a different person. FUCK
- peeeennyyyyy “salutations!! it’s an honor to meet you!” it huuuurts
- it makes me so sad but damn was this a good diabolical plan
- god im so sad. penny is so good. and pyrrha’s fuckin eyes. and ruby just collapsing. jesus christ. it’s all fuckin falling apart
- oh fuck here we go. those klaxons are so terrifying
- it makes me so happy that torchwick gets rescued and then like maybe a couple episodes later just gets swallowed
- the fuckin adam fight is coming up too. jesus. really piling on here
- RUBY IS USING ONE OF PENNY’S SWORDS IM GONNA CRYYY
- and she doesn’t even hesitate to save pyrrha
- the one and only time (to my memory) that ironwood is gentle is when he says no one would blame the students if they left. that might be the last time he actually remembers that they’re all teenagers and feels sympathy for these children with all this pressure on them
- oh yeah the big boy
- the first time i watched this i was LOSING MY MIND this whole time. like yang attacked mercury and from then on man. just freaking out.
- eurgh grimm juice
- c’mon blake you got this. i mean. technically you don’t. the fight goes poorly. but you fuckin try and you’re so brave about it and i love youuu
- shut the FUCK up adam you GROOMED her you ASSHOLE
- aahhhh i love velvet!!! her semblance and her whole fighting style is so goddamn cool and has such interesting implications for using weapons and powers of people who are dead
- OH SHIT SHE DOES SUMMON HERE DOESNT SHE. partly but still
- get fucked, torchwick. GET FUCKED. get fuckin chomped
- a backhanded slap feels so much more violent than any fighting with weapons
- uh oh evil katniss
- god. the fucking blood splatter turning the whole shot red. just their silhouettes. the slow motion. the arm slowly separating.
- my friend was also a big fan of “how we feeling?”
- bad. the answer is bad you fuckin sadist
- oz is… a lot of things, and one of them is a goddamn good fighter
- oh god oh noooo she’s gonna kiss & yeet AWWWW FUCK this is heartbreaking
- pyrrha i love you
- if i don’t look it’s not real
- oh pyrrha my love
- awww hey tai. what a good dad. love tai
- i’m so sad. everyone’s so sad. and then salem just has to do an ominous lil monologue where she lays out her whole plan to divide them and makes a fuckin semblance pun. she’s such a good villain
- jacque you stiff bitch
- they’re all fuckin scattered and depressed
- love team rnjr tho
- there she is. god what an ending
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kittyspotatoes · 3 years ago
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🍾 🍻 🍹 hi
🍾 Does your OC believe in luck? If so, do they have any charm or ritual they do before a stressful event? Kisa did have an encounter with Nocturnal some time down the road. She HAD solid proof of luck, although this luck came in the form of "Nocturnal's favor" rather than a roll of a dice. Though she's not particularly devout, Kisa does think about whether Nocturnal's still gonna help her when encountering seemingly dangerous jobs.
🍻 What's your OC's favourite comfort ritual? How do they calm themselves down after a rough day? Kisaaaa will sink in a warm bath and shut herself in a room for as long as she can until rested... ;w; She sneaks out during night to make food, dissociating bc she's contemplating shit. Broody but in peace hoho
�� Does your OC have any funny anecdotes told about them? AHDJAkd Kisa tends to steal glances at Kaidan a LOT when she was beginning to feel something and Kaidan might not see it but everyone does everybody is just too eager to place bets thats why they let it be DJFHDSJK what im saying is she's horribly awkward when it's the love bug. Professional criminal, incompetent yearner
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katewaliss · 4 years ago
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! write with me or fight with me!
you either die by my sword or the most painful head canons imaginable! *merida vc* choose yer fate
just kidding!
 hey there gaymers, i am crissy! i am 22, live in pst, go by she/her pronouns and honestly would very much like a distraction from life -- preferably in the form of 1x1 and rp in general. i am currently doing online school plus trying/failing at adulting, being a crazy pink haired college student living on microwave dimsum with my crazy fluffy demon cat, but that still leaves me with a lot of time and what better way to spend that time then crying and dying, am i right, boys? 
so without further ado ( adieu? idk gusundheit ) here are a list of discomboblulated plot things that have been floating around in my head that i might be fun to do ( plot fragments, ideas, ocs, fcs i like, settings, genres etc )! i’d prefer a message if u liked any of these in the inbox or dm form, my tumblr ims are open and my discord user is mr. worldwide#2918 ( pitbull supremacy ) but if ur shy i will message u and be annoying! 
lastly: i prefer hcing in the dms to replies, however i will do replies/ask memes slowly, i don’t really like making blogs and prefer google docs/discord and i ask ( gently and respectfully ) that minors do not interact.
thank u and happy hunger games! xx
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COLLEGE TOTALLY SPIES -- i was really obsessed with this picture right here and i thought that the picture would be a good premise for a little four person group based on totally spies. i was thinking that these three college students/young adults some friends maybe not some enemies or just on completely different ends of the social agenda get bonded together when they accidentally end up roped in a top secret spy organization that is fronted by a record store. the details and flesh of the plot i think would be cute to figure out all together maybe in a google doc or a big discord so we can make the rp to perfect world building specifications. right now i have two spots open! 
my friend lexi over at comradc has taken the cool goth asian girl and is using lyrica okano
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i am playing the freckly backwards hat lesbian in the red polo named aj mccallis and i think im using diana silvers ( not sure might switch to tati rodriguez )
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we also have the cute blond girl w the dyed hair who is giving me kind of like sydney sweeney energies, blonde girl maybe like lalisa manoban/jinsoul,
and we have the rad black girl with the bandids who i would only accept black fcs for for such as diamond white, ryan destiny, salem mitchell, 
i’d prefer if this stayed kind of sapphic and female and enby friendly. we can def make make npcs and characters but i’d prefer if the characters looked like they do in the picture ( minus the white girls who can be racebent as long as there are vibes ) mostly bc i want the poc people to stay the correct poc! but yeah! if u like this message me specifically!!!!! seperately and hit me w a role ud like maybe an fc an idea anything < 3 im working on a google doc and discord sever
- i really want to play a himbo skater boy evan mock like its my dream i know nothing abt him other than he probably goes by something like mouth or juice or tris or dex or dante but !!!! he has buzzed hair he buzzes designs into, does stick n pokes, hates cops, will kiss anyone, likes to mosh at house shows, smokes a lot and sounds like crush from finding nemo, probably ur parents worst nightmare if im honest rodrick heffley energy -- adopt him for any plot
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- i also really am obsessed with simay barlas who is my mascot rn -- i want to play her in some sort of dark academia setting with like gossip girl blair waldorf energies lu from elite and have her be really mean and cold and pretentious and play the cello and probably have secrets and be uptight idk the name mallory is resonating hard w me ( we could even do a gossip girl the secret history type group if people liked that ) 
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-ok i also really really want to play streak aka silas montgomery who is like very like sidekick best friend to the golden boy main character, does a kick ass goat impression, class clown, relentlessly hits on like the most difficult person in school, does crazy things for laughs and attention, just wants to make people happy, only wears hawaiian shirts, finger guns, is going nowhere in life, his dad is probably the dean at whatever prestigious school also he is very very depressed and drinks often! love u! a I Feel Like Im The Worst So I Always Act Like Im The Best electra heart baby PINTEREST
also yes his hair is pink reg verse he did it on a dare but hp verse he did a potion wrong and it never came out
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SOMEONE DO A LADY HANNIBAL WILL GRAHAM RP KILLING EVE RP W ME! i made this will graham adjacent gal for a genderbent hannigram rp her name is bisexual disaster enida johnson and sometimes goes by needy or will bc her middle name is willamena! has basically all the will things wears flannels is a mess but has a bunch of cats instead of dogs in her woods log cabin and im using crystal reed bc it fits perfect in my head idk if u like her hmu hit me w a lady hannibal PINTEREST
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other stuff
ok i really want to do a princess and knight plot but with knight zendaya and princess anya taylor joy ???? ALKHALKSHALK LITERALLY HELLO literally modern or like dnd style i do not care but know i love dnd! we could make it like them goin on some skyrim quests like hi
speaking of dnd and skyrim if anyone wants to do like anything based in dnd stuff or skyrim stuff i am DOWN
jennifers body plot!!!! maybe set in college!!!!! sounds spicy i will do a f/f or m/m version leggo leggo 
UNTIL DAWN UNTIL DAWN!!!! i wanted to do a little like 6 person or mumu until dawn thing where everyone either makes new characters or characters based on the existing six! i made a girl adjacent josh character named riley PINTEREST who i love very much ( fc might change im thinking maybe medallion rahimi ) pls hmu if ur down
i looooooove breakfast at tiffanys!!!! like i really love breakfast at tiffanys we love a call girl broody author ship and i want to play a mishti rahman holly golightly type character so so bad 
pygmalion plot!!! basically like an author and the main character of their book comes to life and the book character is probably from a different period of time or realm so doesnt know how to do modern 2020 stuff like microwaves and the tv! and then maybe they get sucked into the characters book world thats written by the author and have to navigate that! enchanted! w the kdrama! energy!
GOSSIP GIRL PLOT ENERGIES
any sort of the secret history murder society until dawn ahs horror type setting i am on a kick rn 
i still really want a deaf sailor and siren plot bc that is so spicy or even like anything involving sirens like maybe one thats like vegetarian and doesnt like to eat humans so it ariel rescues one and keeps it safe!! or like only men are susceptible to the sirens song but aha! i am a woman! Romance!
anything in the realm of percy jackson i love mythology lets go i kind of want a echo narcisuss plot and i want it to hurt me so bad 
i will do harry potter stuff but only if its completely removed from the current canon like years in the future no existing families also maybe beauxbatons salem and drumstrang plots bc thats what matters
iiiiiiiii really like anime so i will do anything kakegurui, soul eater, ohshc
i kind of like grew up on the hunger games so i will gladly take any hunger games plots like young effie and haymitch is spicy or like a career tribute and one of the weaker poorer distracts enemies to lovers leggo
i have a kind of oc that had their parents die in a factory gas leak that was the governments fault and it turned them into a vigilante assasin that is slowly picking off bootlicker government people one by one pretending to be one of them until bam! gets attached to the rich asshole son or daughter of the head hauncho or one of the higher ups ... drama
rich little celebrity fussy wussy being held captive by the mafia and the tired stoic mafia guard but they fall in love 
i kind of like any plot that involves one person that is really loud or angry or dramatic or whiny and the other one is kind of sweet and gentle or does not talk much idk make brain happy 
speaking of!
no nonsense law student studying abroad in a european country and an artist there falls in love w them and is all romantic and gush and is like ur my muse!!! and they are like Go awAy and they explore the city together and themelseves its nice!
i want to be an avan jogia super villain idk why i need to but i do 
not to be a disney adult bc i am not but anastasia princesses dont kiss kitchen boys 
rival cheer captians? best friends brother? pop princess celebrity singer and like antiestablishment really angry rockstar in a publicity relationship? broody detective and sunshiney diner person that works at the diner they eat at everyday?
idk i will think of more hmu these can all be made f/f or m/m if they arent 
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smutsonian · 5 years ago
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mob!henry smut 🥺👉🏼👈🏼?
Warning/s: a bit smutty but nothing wild... sorry pfft i just made a drabble dkvmjviogaf
masterlist
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He’s intimidating. Like really intimidating. Being a mob boss earned him a reputation. He’s the big scary mean guy that everyone avoids or sucks up to because they wouldn’t want to be on his bad side. He’s big and broody but when it comes to you, all those terrifying traits drop and he’s a big softie. Only towards you, though.
That’s why when you came home to see him glaring at an empty space in his office, you pouted, hating how he’s so serious and grumpy almost all of the time. You sneak around him, tiptoeing behind him and surprising him with a hug. You wrapped- or at least tried to wrap your arms around his torso, resting your cheeks on his back with a sigh.
“Why are you always so grumpy…” you mumbled against his back. He unwraps your arm around him so he could turn around to face you, picking you up by your thighs and wrapping your legs around his torso. He places your arms around his neck and places his hands under your butt, pinching it slightly.
You playfully glare at him and he laughs at that. “Who’s the grumpy one now?” He moves one hand to pinch your right cheek.
“I think I can make that frown disappear…” He leans down to the side of your face to whisper, licking your neck and chuckling against it when you tucked your head on his chest.
He pulled his head away from you and tsked at you, shaking his head. “Ahh… None of that. I want to see your face when I tear you apart, sweetheart.”
He sat you on his desk and began devouring your lips like a starved man. Your fingers found its way to his hair, tugging on it as quiet moans left your mouth, Henry swallowing your moans with his mouth. 
He groaned and pulled away from your lips to quickly tear your pants off, diving right back in for your mouth.
You were panting for air when he pulled away from you. You let out a huff when he easily maneuvered your body to turn around, pressing your chest down the table and groping your ass with his strong hands.
He leans down towards the side of your face, his bulge pressing against your ass as he does so, and whispered against your ear;
“I’m going to fuck you… hard”
and that’s where i stop because im an asshole sskkaksk
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unwiltingblossom · 4 years ago
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I'm new to mystic messenger (yes im very late to this im sorry) and i wanted to ask why everyone adores seven? He seems funny but aside from that idk, also why do people hate yoosung and jumin so much? They are my favs atm (sorry to bother, you dont have to answer if you dont feel like it, anyway love your blog!)
People like 7 because he’s fake-funny like most people on tumblr are, so it makes him relatable, and his whole shtick is saving the broody loner from darkness, so people like that.
People dislike Yoosung because they misinterpret the fact that he’s extremely close to his cousin - more like a sister than a cousin to him, really - and assume it’s romantic attachment. They also feel that him superimposing Rika over the MC before he gets to know her as a method of coping with grief means that Yoosung forever and always thinks MC is Rika.
People dislike Jumin because they misinterpret the fact that he sees Elizabeth as his last link to Rika, whom he has sort of feelings for, as if he has some kind of inappropriate feelings for a cat. They also dislike him because the RFA is constantly talking crap, twisting every action he does or doesn’t do into its worst possible interpretation, such as when he refuses to let MC return to a dangerous apartment until he’s sure it’s safe. Zen acts like he’s kidnapping her, even though he does the same for Jaehee on Yoosung’s route. They also misattribute his actions on BE2 as something he’ll just do if you don’t ‘properly control him’ when it’s really the MC’s carnal desires that go out of control on BE2 (like with BE1 and BE3, it’s all the MC’s behavior, not his)
Basically, that. They misinterpret the characters in negative ways, and in Jumin’s case in particular they just take what RFA say at face value even when the people saying it are obviously biased. They also make negative associations with Yoosung and Jumin - Yoosung they act as if he is incestuously obsessed when he’s just grieving, and Jumin they act like is some Christian Grey and therefore Problematic when he’s only reacting to his MC being overtly hard m in that one scenario
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firelxdykatara · 5 years ago
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idk how i never knew about sym-bionic titan but like three seconds in and i already pegged ilana and lance as absolute OTP material (princess/bodyguard?? angry broody one/sunshine determined one??? red/blue coding??? (well ilana is more pink than red but it COUNTS damnit) star-crossed lovers vibes???? extreme protective instincts??? ‘damnit you can’t just rush into danger, i’m supposed to protect you!!!’ ‘yeah well i’m gonna rush into danger to protect other people so WHAT are you gonna do about it?’ ‘...fuck’??? heIGHT DIFFERENCE??? the extreme awkwardness of having to hide their eventual relationship because everyone in their ‘human’ lives think they’re siblings?????), and now they’re fucking drift compatible so
anyway why does this show only have one season im gonna get sucked in and then it’s just gonna end
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court-of-pokemuses · 5 years ago
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Every Bruno ship rated!
I’ve done this over on my main account @/pkmnsdarkqueen, and I think it’s kinda fun. It’s every ship on the muse from this page rated by my personal opinions. For this account I’ve been slowly working on it since January, and since this is a multimuse it took this long. I hope ya’ll enjoy!
Disclaimers directly below and the list under the cut!
strike through=my side commentary, trying to be funny, usually about ship names italicized=if asked I’d be down to rp it mostly just to see how/it it’d work bold=ship name and who in it to help you find a certain ship highlights=they are grouped up, again in case you want to find that one ship * by name=I just think it’s a wildly random ship
Took out category of Bruno and a protagonist/rival/or companion since they’re all children so it’s a hard no. A few other younger characters fit in the other categories though they’ve been judged no as well for the most part. Some shipped but ONLY in the context of the character being grown up.
Took out category of Bruno with pokemon because pokephelia. In multiship some of them have a pokemon and these have been dubbed as being one of the human’s part pokemon. 
Also ships where a human and one of Bruno’s pokemon have been taken out because again pokephilia. So many people are shipped specifically with his clefablee for some reason
ships on ‘never ending romance’ website. Before asked yes mun has other ships she likes that aren’t listed, but Im only focusing on those listed.
Bruno w/ a Villian:
Top rated ships: Iapetos, and Tortuga shipping
Bottom rated ships: Battalion, Indistinct, Krypton, and Reprobate shipping
BattalionShipping - Archer & Bruno 0/10 Everyone is shipped with Archer, everyone is shipped with Archer, everyone is shipped with Archer, why the F! Bruh naw I don’t see it. Bruno is too pure for Archer and if anything Archer would just manipulate the Frick out of him.
EquiusShipping - Bruno & Mars 3/10 Mars too! Like seriously she’s everywhere. Eh I mean they both have happy personalities and I could see it working a bit better, but still I dunno how smoothly they’d work together considering life directions. 
GroundworkShipping - Bruno & Giovanni 0/10 Giovanni gets around the most out of anyone though, and always has such a dope ship name. Also hahahaha, no, yeah no Bruno too fluffy. 
IapetosShipping - Bruno & Maxie 4/10 Ehhhhh, maaaaybe? I dunno I just they have some more compatibility as others but if they were together it’d be one of those grumpy lad with fluffy muscle boi. 
IndistinctShipping - Bruno & Petrel 0/10 Bruno why would you put Bruno with the trigger happy lad???? No no no danger!!!
KryptonShipping - Bruno & Proton 0/10 Proton is like that guy who wants to murder every npc in the d&d party, naw.
ReprobateShipping - Bruno & Ariana 0/10 Reprobate means someone without morals so Ariana would likely flirt, and Bruno would 100% not realize what’s going on until like they’re in the bedroom and then you’ve got Bruno breaking the door down to leave cause he’s panicking. 
TortugaShipping - Archie & Bruno 4/10 Heh 2 muscle bros? Ok kinda cute, but if anything I think it’d be even cuter as best bro friends that work out, just saying. friends 10/10
Bruno w/ a Champion:
IronRingShipping - Bruno & Steven Stone 6/10 Heh, ok could be cute. I mean Steven’s kinda a wholesome soul, but they’ve both got some shady stuff too it could be kinda cute. 
PotentialShipping - Bruno & Lance 5/10 The name is amazing for this. Eh potential maybe especially with Bruno’s whole mind being scrambled about thanks to Rocket and his early time with Lance getting also lost. But yeah idk maaaaybe?
Bruno w/ an elite:
Top rated ships: StrongestKnight, Control/StrikingIce, and Giant shipping
Bottom rated ships: Bauble, Despondency, and MuscleBurn shipping 
***BaubleShipping - Bruno & Agatha -50/10 Oh gosh plz no, Agatha is the one that made his brain all messed up. He forgives her but he’s not gonna romance her. Plus age gap much?
ControlShipping/StrikingIceShipping - Bruno & Lorelei 9/10 Heck yes please I think this one would be super cute. Again Bruno would kinda have all those memories gone, but at the same time maybe that’d be the sparking point for them talking again. 
DelilahShipping - Bruno & Karen 4/10 HEY THERE DELILAH WHAT’S IT LIKE IN NEW YORK CITY! I’M A THOUSAND MILES AWAY BUT GIRL TON- Anyway so now that’s out of my system, I think it works smoother than Karen and Koga but I still like the vibe of the four of them being like a family with each other. 
DespondencyShipping - Bruno & Will 1/10 I like this less than Delilah cause Karen connects with Koga, and Will connects with Bruno. It’s like they each have their own older mentor to help them with their specific things to adapt to civilian life. 
ForesightShipping - Bruno & Phoebe 3/10 Phoebe gotta go get shipped around with every other human too. Ehhh kinda cute? But there are others I can see her with better. 
GiantShipping - Bruno & Marshal 8/10 Big bois over here flexin! Yeah I think it could be cute. They’re very similar in personality Bruno is just a golden retriever and Marshal is a Rottweiler. I think it’s cute. 
*JourneyShipping - Bruno & Lucian 7/10 The journey they went on was how the frick to read good. Seriously poor Bruno watches this man whip through a book meanwhile he’s struggling cause he keeps forgetting words. I could see it tbh either with Lucian helping him read and they fall for each other, or just friends with one helping the other. 
LaeliaShipping - Bruno & Caitlin 3/10 Eh maybe? I don’t really feel how they'd really hit it off, but they likely would have some fun as friends though. 
MuscleBurnShipping - Bruno & Flint (elite) 2/10 They’re just gonna be 2 nerds screaming at each other and making bad decisions, but Bruno trying to stop Flint. Please let them be friends and make these mistakes.
ReturnShipping - Bruno & Koga 5/10 Yeah ok this swings between cute as flip to but their friendship is cuter! I’m down for either direction. 
StrongestKnightShipping - Bruno & Wikstrom 10/10 YES! This is cute as frick it’s currently being shipped and I love all of it. 2 wholesome bois who also happen to talk kinda odd, and are muscly. Also bless that ship name, get Bruno Armor please.
Bruno w/ a Gym leader:
Top rated ships: Toughie, Bancho, Ataraxia, and TarotSport shipping
Bottom rated ships: IsshinRyu, Kendo, Rurouni, and Zubon shipping
AtaraxiaShipping - Bruno & Gardenia 10/10 Ok when I first talked about who to ship Bruno with one of them was Gardenia and I still ship it. She has the same wholesome soul as Bruno, and energy but with that soft taking care of plants vibe and it’s cute.
BanchoShipping - Bruno & Jasmine 10/10 This is a Jasmine ship that I do enjoy alot more than others. Bruno does well with wholesome folks, and Jasmine really is top tier wholesome levels. Also she maybe small but home girl tough as nails. Watch her sit on his shoulder to see a concert play or other cute things with their size differences.
**BlackbeltShipping - Brock & Bruno 0/10 Don’t really get this one tbh. Like they both take really good care of their pokemon, and that’s about it....
DjinnShipping - Bruno & Roark 2/10 idk why but I’m just imagining Roark and Bruno in the underground Roark mentioning they’ll have to go around awhile to get this place, and Bruno just punches his way through walls to get there. I dunno I just want them as bros. 
DrillSergeantShipping - Bruno & Lt. Surge 2/10 ....Usually I can see Lt. Surge with a fair amount of people, and like they’ve both been through some trauma in their lives so like I should be able to see it but I just can’t???? idk here
**FrostHeaveShipping - Bruno & Brycen 4/10 Weirdly I kinda see it. Idk just let Bruno find out the other has a whole secret life as an actor and gush over trying to keep the secret. 
GestaltShipping - Bruno & Morty 1/10 The name baffles me. Like I’m just saying prt of a whole? What does that mean? Also naw Morty is too salty of a boi.
*GrasshopperShipping - Bruno & Bugsy 0/10 I need someone to confirm Bugsy’s age before I can feel comfortable shipping him with anyone. I’m just imagining Bruno training his young grasshopper, Bugsy, who is trying to get swol!
IsshinRyuShipping - Bruno & Janine -50/100 0_0 Koga would understandably kill him, and there is no way Bruno could see her like that.
KendoShipping - Bruno & Pryce 0/10 Even without the trauma he caused Will and Karen from the manga no. Like age gap wildly bad.
MikageShipping - Bruno & Clair 5/10 Eh could be cute. I see them bonding via beating each other up though in training. 
MontevideoShipping - Bruno & Volkner 2/10 I feel like Bruno would try to cheer him up and then it wouldn’t go over well, and yeah Volkner is just too broody. 
MuramasaShipping - Bruno & Maylene 6/10 Like him and Clair but Maylene is more wholesome so better chance.
RollerDojoShipping - Bruno & Korrina 4/10 Cute but I am more partial to other ships with Korrina so I don’t see it as much. 
RurouniShipping - Bruno & Roxanne 0/10 I still feel weird shipping Roxanne cause idk her age! F it her only ship is Bugsy fite me. Besides she has that know it all vibe and I just feel like Bruno would feel dwarfed cause of his voice tik.
SenseiShipping - Brawly & Bruno 2/10 Freaking Brawly getting around too. Ship name kinda says the dynamic with Bruno as a teacher and Brawly the student. If you’re into that dynamic then I can see it, but for me it’s ehhh. 
SitDownShipping - Bruno & Flannery 7/10 What is this name?! XD I kinda think it’s cute just Flannery screaming as she does to show confidence and Bruno screaming back cause he thinks it’s appropriate and them both being a general mess. 
TarotSportShipping - Bruno & Sabrina 10/10 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. It’s cute Sabrina is broody like volkner ye but we’ve also seen she has a soft spot for people that make her laugh and Bruno is one of those guys who’s unintentionally pretty funny. Also this is just April and Andy from parks and rec.
TokyoRainShipping - Bruno & Erika 5/10 She’s super soft and wholesome, and I see it more than other ships with Erika. Ehhh idk on this. 
ToughieShipping - Bruno & Whitney 10/10 HOW OLD IS WHITNEY!? Also frick I really hope she’s an adult cause they have the vibe of, guy who looks like he can and would beat you up but his girl friend is the one who is 100% more willing to throw hands. 
VentifactShipping - Bruno & Falkner 0/10 Falkner and Janine tho. Anyways I don’t see what they’d connect on. 
*VestigeShipping - Bruno & Misty 0/10 Naw Misty is like too abrasive for me. And like I know that’s kinda why I like him and Whitney but the difference is that Whitney hides her savageness. 
YevonShipping - Bruno & Elesa 4/10 Kinda cute can see Elsa introducing him to new fashion and all. But there are other ships with Elsa I think would work better. 
ZubonShipping - Bruno & Chuck 0/10 Chuck has a wife and forgets her all the time. No hurting fluffy Bruno boi like that.
Bruno w/ Professor or prof assistant
HokkaidoShipping - Bruno & Celio 2/10 I......what would they have in common exactly?
***ContemplationShipping - Bruno & Professor Oak 0/10 Bruh Oak???? No yeah like c’mon really, no, just I can’t see them being anymore than friends.
GnosisShipping - Bill & Bruno 5/10 Idk maybe? Like Billy gets into shenanigans what with becoming a pokemon and Bruno trying to help with stuff only to end up with a fussy Bill. Kinda cute.
Bruno w/ Minor GAME npcs:
*PersevereShipping - Bruno & Zinnia 8/10 Please. Give me feral girl with confused boi who’s trying to figure out what her deal is. Also them both having small pink pokemon is cute. 
PilgrimageShipping - Bruno & Eusine 3/10 While I do want to see them on a journey/pilgrimage together I don’t see them coming out of it shipped too easily. 
*PowerHouseShipping - Bruno & Greta 1/10 Wild choice, and she reminds me of all the other punchy hit gals but on the same level of connections Korrina but alot less. 
Bruno w/ Minor ANIME npcs:
OsakaShipping - Bruno & Kathi Lee 2/10 Diantha’s manager huh? I mean they’d be cute but I don’t see it lasting long term with Bruno’s lazy habits here and there. 
*PlayFightShipping - Bruno & Duplica 0/10 I think they’d have a fun dynamic but as friends and nothing romance coming out of that. 
Bruno w/ Orre, or Ranger character
EngrishShipping - Bluno & Bruno 0/10 They are just shipped cause of the names, and I don’t see anything else. 
LoveMuscleShipping - Bruno & Lovrina 0/10 Guess what, bam bah bum, she’s a child! and always acts childish. 
Bruno and multiple people: (All are gonna be a no romantically because I don’t see Karen being poly, but I’ll give plot ideas)
Top rated ships: IndigoLeague, and SelfDefenceAgainstFruit shipping
Bottom rated ships: SecretTechniques, QuizzicalBlackbelt, and Ringside shipping
DawnguardShipping - Brawly, Bruno, Chuck, Marshal, Korrina & Maylene 10/10 This is just all the punch bois and gals together but with a cool name. Although tbh I am totally here for them all hanging out or all being guards in some au. 
*MayleneFatalFourwayShipping - Bruno, Byron, Crasher Wake & Marshal 9/10 The name gives me concern. Are these just all people shipped with Maylene? Ahhh idk I think they’d be good pals tho catch em all teaching each other Dif training techniques.  GachimuchiShipping - Bruno, Chuck & Crasher Wake 7/10 This is the crash and brash gang, and they will wreck everything mostly on accident. 
IndigoLeagueShipping - Bruno, Koga, Lance, Will & Karen 1000/10 YES! GOOD CREW! great buds, SUPER GREAT LOVE EM!
IndigoPlateauShipping - Bruno, Blue (game), Lance, Agatha & Lorelei 9/10 A good group except for the fact that Agatha traumatized the boi, and Blue can be a butt and wasn’t champion as long. Great group video game wise but story wise kinda hard to play with. 
ISMRSShipping - Bruno, Misty & Yellow (Special) 8/10 I can not figure out what the ISMRS means. I’m gonna see this group as feisty girl, big buff guy, and neutral girl  on an epic adventure! And yea I think it’d be fun. 
OriginalEliteFourShipping - Bruno, Lance, Agatha & Lorelei 10/10 Same thing and indigo plateau. It good but kinda limited, but if nothing else time when they’re all in Rocket you got cool story potential. 
***QuizzicalBlackbeltShipping - Brock, Bruno, Aria (anime) & Felicity 3/10 I wanna break this down for ya we got breeder/gym leader Brock boi, the swellest boi Bruno, a super contest lady, oh and someone who appears as TCG art for the lot game corner. This is a wild amalgamation of characters. 
RingsideShipping - Brawly, Bruno, Chuck, Crasher Wake & Maylene 5/10 They all train on the beach, that's it that’s the only thing I got for this ship. 
SecretTechniquesShipping - Bruno, Karuta & Koga 2/10 It’s trying to be focused on a ninja ship but I don’t think Bruno is much of a ninja so it feels forced.
*****SelfDefenceAgainstFruitShipping - Bruno, Cherubi, Tropius & berries 420/10 (for meme worthiness, and ship has nothing to do with weed just adding o the meme) I AM AWARE OF WHAT THE REFRENCE IS HERE AND HECK YEAAAAAAAAH, gosh this is a dumb ship the reference btw, it’s 3 minutes long: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnjYeHBWvKA 
ShitennouShipping - Aaron (elite), Bruno, Drake (Hoenn), Flint (elite), Grimsley, Koga, Lance, Lucian, Marshal, Sidney, Siebold, Wikstrom, Will, Agatha, Bertha, Caitlin, Drasna, Glacia, Karen, Lorelei, Malva, Phoebe & Shauntal (gen infinite) 10/10 All of the elites, all of them, in one room, and hanging out. Heck ye let em party it up. 
TripleThreatShipping - Bruno, Crasher Wake & Marshal 10/10 Idk why but they feel like the most cohesive punchy bois as a group. 
Bruno’s pokemon shipped w/ other pokemon:
HiddenLegendShipping - Clefable & Suicune (Bruno's & Misty's) 1/10 Did....did Misty get a suicune at some point??? Also hidden legend, are you telling me that clefable is like legendary quality rn. what is this cleanable and I’m confused! MaskFableShipping - Clefable & Yamask (Bruno's & James's) 1/10 I mean Yanmask has some fun personality and I think James and Bruno would have some good friendship but idk how to feel about a ship there. 
StrongFableShipping - Clefable & Snivy (Bruno's & Ash's) 1/10 Please explain to me a thing about why Snivy??? Anyway yeah also when is he gonna see Ash much?? StrongLoveShipping - Clefable & Golem (Bruno's & Bruno's) 10/10 See at least these two can actually see each other often. Also yeah I do think it cuter than most like I mean they can actually be with each other and fluff with big rock boi is cute.  WrestlingFableShipping - Clefable & Hawlucha (Bruno's & Ash's) 3/10 Again when they seeing each other? And I mean kinda like the wrestle bpi and fluffy girl but still how it gonna work?
Other Ships Mun likes 
BandagedknucklesShipping - Bruno & Cheryl 100/10 Look Cheryl is soft and cute. Bruno is soft and a sweet boi. They’d be adorable together I’m just saying. Also Cheryl getting into the chaos she gets into and Bruno being the muscle acting like a body guard to her when she needs it. Cute shiz ok!
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whitewolfofwinterfell · 6 years ago
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Angel and Cordelia (Cangel) - an in-depth analysis of their relationship
Angel and Cordelia are a ship I never expected to ship before watching Angel, but since finishing the show around November, I’ve fallen in love with them (and the show generally) and wanted to compile a post where I could express all my thoughts and feelings about them. This meta will be very in-depth and is divided into 9 sections: 
1. ‘Pensiver Face’: Opposites Attract - Will explore Angel and Cordelia’s personalities and the ways in which these two unlikely characters came together and brought out new and wonderful sides to each other. 
2. ‘Help the Helpless’: Finding purpose - Discusses the way in which Angel and Cordelia found purpose in their lives through meeting and the creation of Angel Investigations.
3. ‘We’re family’: Belonging and Family - Insight into how Angel and Cordelia created a family and home with each other that provided them with a sense of belonging (perhaps for the first time in their lives).
4. ‘My Dearest Friend’: Friendship and Love - Looks at Angel and Cordelia’s friendship and how that was at the core of their relationship throughout the series.
5. ‘You’re not alone’: Emotional connection - Uncovers the profound emotional connection Angel and Cordelia established with each other.
6. ‘It’s the stars’: Everyone can see it - Reflects on the common ‘Everyone can see it’ trope and how that was important to Angel and Cordelia’s relationship.
7. ‘Were we in love?’: Romantic love - An exploration of when and how Angel and Cordy’s romantic feelings for each other developed.
8. ‘I’ll be seeing you’: Missed Opportunity - Analyses the writing in seasons 4 and 5, and the ways in which Angel and Cordelia’s relationship was hugely disadvantaged by the writing.
9. ‘There are no people like us’: Why Angel/Cordelia are misunderstood and live in Buffy/Angel’s shadow - Unpicks some of the common misconceptions I’ve seen about Angel and Cordy’s relationship and the how comparisons made between their relationship and Buffy and Angel’s is unfair and does a disservice to both couples. 
As you can see, section 9 does discuss Buffy and Angel, because I really couldn’t discuss Angel and Cordelia without also talking about Angel’s relationship with Buffy since she was so significant to Angel. It won’t be anti-Buffy/Angel (because I’m a huge Bangel shipper, as anyone that follows me will know), but I just wanted to give a warning for those that are a big fan of the ship as you might not want to read. However, the primary focus throughout will be on Angel and Cordelia’s relationship on ATS (I don’t really give much focus to BTVS since their interactions were so brief and lacking).
Before we get into it, I wanted to say this post is long, (coming in at around 9k words, whew! I had more to say than I realised), so if you’re interested in reading you might want to grab a drink or a snack and make yourself comfortable. 
1. ‘Pensiver Face’: Opposites Attract
What makes Angel and Cordelia’s relationship so special is that it’s between two unlikely characters who, on the surface are polar opposites, but that compliment each other beautifully. Cordelia was specifically chosen to be a regular on ATS because she was the opposite to Angel - Whedon stated that Cordelia’s bright smile was needed to counteract Angel’s broody persona (x). The fundamental differences in Angel and Cordelia’s personalities meant that together they brought out different sides to each other. Angel was known for being reserved, contemplative, melancholy, deep and pessimistic, whilst in contrast Cordelia was known for being outgoing, bubbly, outspoken, shallow and optimistic.
Both characters came to ATS season 1 displaying these characteristics which they were well-known for on BTVS, but through meeting each other, they changed. Angel smiled more with Cordelia than arguably any other character in the Buffyverse (x) (x) (x) (x). Her infectious personality, witty sense of humour and straight-talking attitude coaxed him out of his shell. Also, because he was more submissive by nature, Angel responded to Cordelia’s assertiveness - she wasn’t afraid to take charge, call him out on things, make demands of him and ensure he stayed on the right path. She was the one that took charge of the business, launching Angel Investigations from practically nothing; she persuaded Angel that he should pay Gunn for working with them; she didn’t easily relent after he fired her, Wesley and Gunn; she told him he needed to set boundaries with Fred when she had a crush on Angel to prevent Fred from getting hurt; she held him accountable for getting Darla pregnant in season 3; she consistently encouraged him to fight for Connor no matter how hopeless or difficult it became and even in her brief return in season 5 she continued with this pattern. She straight up told Angel that he’d lost his way, lost sight of their mantra to help the helpless and had become entangled in the messiness of W&H. In doing so, she set Angel back on the right path. It’s strange because generally people view Angel as having more positive traits than Cordelia, but despite his good intentions, he was more prone to giving up and wallowing than Cordelia. Angel was more malleable, more willing to accept the bad in the world whilst Cordelia, on the other hand, persevered no matter what obstacles came her way and was firm in her morals. She knew what she believed to be good and she didn’t stray from that no matter what. That clear-cut attitude really helped Angel, who being a vampire and having seen so much evil, often become lost in the blurriness between good and evil, and became disheartened about fighting the good fight on numerous ocassions. Cordelia was truly Angel’s centre of gravity and moral compass - she was the one he relied on most in his redemptive journey and helping the helpless. That’s why throughout the series there was such a heavy emphasis on Angel needing Cordy (x) and why he proclaimed to be lost without her. Angel needing Cordelia was also demonstrative of a deeper emotional connection between them, which I’ll discuss later on.
Whilst Angel and Cordelia’s differences helped/changed Angel, they did the same for Cordy. Cordelia as a person was very focused on superficial gratification. She sought popularity and status, and she enjoyed money and material objects because of the pleasure they brought her. Her desire to become an actress reflects those desires she had. Although Cordelia demonstrated on BTVS that she was much more than the stereotypical popular-shallow girl she was portrayed to be (x), she wasn’t inclined to be considerate of others and empathy didn’t come naturally to her. In comparison, Angel spent a majority of his time thinking of others and had a wealth of empathy, for everybody regardless of whether they were those he loved or strangers; good or bad. There’s no doubt that the visions were a large part of what enabled Cordelia to be more empathetic since she was quite literally experiencing the traumas of others, but being close to Angel also impacted this. Until Cordelia became friends with Angel (and Doyle, Wes and Gunn), she’d never really been prioritised or cared for unconditionally. Angel’s kindness, consideration and support enabled Cordelia to open up emotionally in a way she never had before, not just to those closest to her, but to everybody. Ironically, a vampire (albeit a vampire with a soul) was the deepest insight Cordelia had gained into humanity. Angel devoted himself to helping others and Cordelia witnessed first-hand the positive impact that had on others and the rewards it brought. Whilst she fought against evil alongside the Scoobies on BTVS, it was being part of Angel Investigations that truly showed her the true meaning of fighting. It gave her purpose and belonging, which in turn allowed her to blossom in an entirely new way.
2. ‘Help the Helpless’: Finding purpose
Despite being different in many ways, Angel and Cordelia had one main thing in common - they were both seeking purpose, meaning and belonging in their lives at the start of ATS  - and they found that with each other.
On BTVS Angel went through a traumatic ordeal with losing his soul, being killed by the woman he loved, being trapped in a hell dimension, coming back to life and then having to break up with Buffy. After Angel was cursed and his soul was restored, he retreated into the shadows and lived like a hermit for a century. He no longer belonged in the vampire or the human world, and he was so consumed with the guilt about his actions as Angelus that he was paralysed. He lived a lonely and purposeless existence - until the moment he saw Buffy. Buffy symbolised hope for Angel, because she was destined to fight evil and helping her provided him with a purpose for the first time in decades and I strongly believe that this (amongst other reasons) is why he fell in love with her. So when he split up with her and left for L.A. he lost his purpose along with Buffy. It’s clear that Angel’s time with Buffy and the Scoobies had been so significant to him that he couldn’t return to the life he had before he met Buffy, he needed to continue helping people, but he didn’t know how. Meeting Doyle immediately provided him with a sense of purpose by providing him with a connection to the HP, but as I already mentioned above, Cordelia really cemented that. Although Doyle knew he and Angel had a mission that they needed to work on together, he didn’t know how to make that a reality. Cordelia’s practicality, pragmatism and organisation is what took an idea - helping the helpless - and made it a reality - Angel Investigations. Like I said, Angel knew he wanted to help others but he didn’t really have a plan. When Angel Investigations was born, it became so much more than simply helping the odd person in distress after having stumbled upon them by chance. It became an indefinite commitment and mission which provided Angel with a true purpose - a purpose he realised was the singular most important thing to him in ‘Epiphany’ (2x16).
Cordelia was also in a similar place to Angel when she arrived in L.A. at the start of ATS. During her time on BTVS Cordelia’s character was built upon her status in high-school - she was pretty, rich and popular. Although she wasn’t afraid to stand up for what she believed in (such as defending Xander against her HS friends), she generally sought the approval of others. In HS Cordelia felt that she was somebody and that really came from her popularity and status. However, she admitted that that popularity came with a downside and that she was in fact, very lonely as a result of it (x). Cordelia’s experience in her relationship with Xander only fuelled that loneliness she felt because she isolated herself from her friends to be with him, and when he cheated on her, her ‘friendships’ with the rest of the Scoobies were revealed to be superficial in nature and quickly broke down. By the time she came to ATS, she had left high school and therefore was without her boyfriend (Xander), friends and the status that HS afforded her. This explains why she was on a mission to become a famous actress - to reclaim that status that she’d lost but on an even grander scale. The problem with this is that regardless of how shallow Cordy may have appeared, she clearly craved more than just popularity, fame or money. She’d already had that but it hadn’t  fulfilled her. Enter Angel. Cordelia saw that Angel (and Doyle) needed guidance and that she could bring something important to the table. When she joined Angel and Doyle and set up Angel Investigations, she found her purpose just like Angel did. Initially, Cordelia’s desire to stick with Angel may have been because she didn’t have any other particularly appealing options, but it became so much more than that and by the end of season 1 Cordelia was wholly devoted to helping the helpless (x). In ‘Disharmony’ (2x17) she told Harmony that despite the popularity she had at HS, she was happier than she’d ever been because of the work she was doing, and having that sense of purpose came from meeting Angel. ‘Birthday’ (3x11) further reaffirmed this, when Cordelia chose being with Angel and helping the helpless over her dream of being a famous actress. 
The creation of Angel Investigations (not just the business but also the family) wouldn’t have happened if Angel and Cordelia hadn’t of come together in the way they did. From the beginning, they were the heart of everything it was and when Angel lost Cordy in season 5, he admitted that he lost his way and was lost without her (again, this beckons back to Cordy being Angel’s centre of gravity). Poetically, Cordelia kissing Angel in ‘You’re Welcome’ (5x11) and passing on the vision to him quite literally set Angel (and co.) on the path to their final battle and brought purpose back into his life. But in addition to bringing purpose to each other’s lives through their shared mission of helping the helpless, they brought something else, perhaps more significant - belonging and family.
3. ‘We’re family’: Belonging and Family
Although Angel and Cordelia had bonds with others prior to ATS - Angel had relationships with Darla, Dru, Spike, Buffy; Cordelia with Harmony, Xander and the Scoobies - they never had with anyone else what they found with each other (and the rest of Angel Investigations) (x). In season 1 Cordelia referred to Angel as being her family and Angel reiterated that later in the series. The unconditional support, acceptance and care Angel and Cordelia had towards one other was unlike anything they’d had in any of their previous relationships (particularly for Cordelia).
Angel prioritised Cordelia, he devoted himself to keeping her safe (x) (x), he was always concerned for her well-being and he took the time to get to know her as a person. He didn’t like Cordy because of her status or popularity, he liked her for her and he expressed that numerous times - he told her he liked both versions of her (old and new), that she was an extraordinary woman and that he’d never known anybody like her (x) (x). Likewise, Cordelia accepted Angel - warts and all - without white washing his past or being ignorant to his darkness. She knew Angelus had done terrible things, and that Angel wasn’t immune from making mistakes and she held him accountable for that. But she also encouraged Angel to be open with her about that side of himself, telling him to drink blood in front of her and reassuring him that she and Doyle wouldn’t judge his vamp face (x). Cordelia came face to face with Angelus multiple times and she knew that even with a soul Angel had the capacity for darkness, but she still saw the good in him and believed it out-weighed the bad. She was never under any false illusions that Angel was perfect and that’s why she was firm in her promise that if needs be she would stake Angelus without hesitation.
It’s really that unconditional support and acceptance that led them to consider each other family. What’s most significant about this is that neither of them really had that before ATS. Angel (Liam) grew up in a volatile family situation with an abusive father and Cordelia’s family was so insignificant in her life that we only had a few references to them throughout the course of BTVS and ATS and not a single appearance from them. Neither of them really had a true home or family until they found each other. The friendship they found with each other (and the rest of Angel Investigations) truly was one of the most beautiful things that ever happened to either of them and provided them with a true home for the first time in their lives. In fact, in season 4 Angel explicitly said when Cordelia was missing “We’ll do whatever it takes to bring her home, where she belongs”, which perfectly sums up the title for this section about belonging and family. The bond they forged was one of the first they established with another that felt completely secure and contented (which is also why Cordelia reacted so negatively to him abandoning her, Wes and Gunn in season 2 over Darla), because at it’s core it was a friendship built upon familial love, which in my opinion, is the strongest and most enduring love there is.
4. ‘My Dearest Friend’: Friendship and Love
The most common argument I’ve seen against Angel and Cordelia as a romantic ship is, “They should’ve just stayed friends, they were better that way”. My issue with this is that Angel and Cordelia didn’t just fulfil one or the other - friendship or romance - they fulfilled both and so much more (x). What makes Angel and Cordelia’s relationship so special is that they morphed from acquaintances, to coworkers, to confidantes, to friends, to family, to lovers and were often some (or all) of these things to each other at once. Their feelings for each other cannot be boxed in, because they encompass so much, but there is no disputing that they loved each other.
Angel and Cordy had a profound connection spanning across the entirety of ATS, that no amount of words I type can quite express. They were a constant presence in each others’ lives for years, they were by each others’ sides through some of the most significant events of their lives and they shared it all - the highs and lows, the good and bad. Even when their romantic feelings came into fruition, their friendship remained unchanged. Nothing could change that fundamental dynamic between them or the ease with which they communicated and bounced off of one another. Any scene between Angel and Cordy has a natural chemistry (the nature of that chemistry is up to interpretation), and even when Angel was a awkward, bumbling and flustered fool, their interactions never felt strained or uncomfortable. This is because they knew each other so well and were so attuned to each other, but also because their relationship was already so well established by the time they realised they had romantic feelings for each other that there was no danger of those feelings complicating or endangering that friendship. It’s why in ‘Spin the Bottle’ (4x06) Angel told Cordelia that she was his dearest friend and he wanted that back. He was able to push aside his romantic feelings and desires because her friendship was more important to him than anything else.
Some may claim it’s weird for two people who referred to each other as family to be in love with each other, but when you’re in love with someone they are your family. The fact that Angel and Cordelia had that kind of connection provided them with the closeness, comfortableness, familiarity and security for those romantic feelings to blossom. Angel, in particular, had an aversion to romance because of The Curse and his experience with Buffy, but he felt so safe with Cordelia that it’s almost like he allowed himself to feel that way about him. Likewise, Cordelia was rather guarded in matters of the heart given her romantic history with Xander, but she felt so safe with Angel that she was able to finally open herself up in that way without even really realising she was. That profound connection between them can’t really be quantified, but can be seen in their actions.
5. ‘You’re not alone’: Emotional connection
When I say that it would do them a disservice to try and box Angel and Cordelia’s relationship into the platonic or romantic arena, that’s because of the emotional connection they shared which extends beyond such labels.
According to Wiki, ‘Emotional intimacy is a psychological event that happens when trust levels and communication between two people are such that it fosters the mutual sharing of one another's deepest selves.’ It involves trust, mutual trust, sense of community, understanding, open communication and sharing a duty. As you read this I’m sure you’re realising that Angel and Cordelia had all of this. They lived in close proximity day after day for years - they worked together, they fought together, they laughed together, they loved the same people (Doyle, Wes, Gunn, Fred, Connor), they grieved together (for Doyle and Connor), they shared the same beliefs and morals and they were united in the same mission to help the helpless. All of this led to them developing a profound emotional connection whereby they came to rely on each other and trust each other, and were able to open up to each other without fear of judgement or rejection (x). Throughout the series Angel and Cordy had multiple heart to hearts in which they confided in each other, encouraged or reassured each other and those talks became more regular as their connection grew. Something as simple as Angel calling Cordelia ‘Cordy’ (which he didn’t do until ATS ‘Are You Now or Have You Ever Been?’ 2x02) demonstrated that developing connection between them.
Again, it would be futile for me to list every example of when Angel and Cordelia had a scene that showed this emotional connection (particularly since you’ll have seen them all if you’ve watched the show), but off the top of my head some key examples would be - Cordelia helped Angel open up about Doyle’s death after Angel accidentally called Wesley Doyle; Cordelia helped Angel to open up about Buffy’s death after he’d spent 3 months trying to come to terms with it; when Cordelia fell ill from a vision Angel reassured her that her value to him wasn’t invested solely in her visions; generally Angel supported Cordelia repeatedly through the trauma of her visions; after Connor was born Angel developed an overly-protective paternal instinct and wouldn’t let anybody hold him, and Cordelia was the first he allowed to hold him; after Connor’s kidnapping Cordelia was able to simply sit with him in the silence and provide the emotional support no one else could and when Angel was insecure about bonding with Connor (after his return) she reassured him he was a capable and loving father. 
Nothing showed the depth of that emotional connection more than the beginning of season 4 when Angel was at the bottom of the ocean. In order to hold on to his sanity, Angel repeatedly dreamt of Cordelia in various romantic scenarios and admitted to Wes and Gunn when he returned that the one thing that had kept him holding on was the thought of returning home to Cordelia. Cordy and his love for her was the tether to his humanity, his hope when everything was hopeless, his light in the dark. 
I could continue exploring this because their emotional connection is demonstrated in nearly every scene they have together, but the point has been made that Angel and Cordelia consistently opened up to one another and were by each other’s sides through the hardest of times. Although they both had the rest of Angel Investigations (Wesley, Gunn, Fred and Lorne), they primarily turned to each other in their time or need or when they were feeling low. They instinctively knew what to do/say to ease each other’s insecurities, fears or anxieties and were each other’s source of emotional strength. What’s even more significant about this is that their connection was so profound, that even those around them noticed it. 
6. ‘It’s the stars’: Everyone can see it
‘Everyone can see it’ is a popular romantic trope whereby a couple are perfect for each other but don’t realise their feelings for one another, but everyone else around them does. This was an integral part of Angel and Cordelia’s relationship since they found it very difficult, as friends, to make sense of their romantic feelings for each other and to acknowledge those feelings.
The first person to notice the chemistry between Angel and Cordelia was Fred in ‘Offspring’ (3x07). After seeing them sparring Fred spoke about kyrumption (two heroes meeting in battle and recognising their same fate) and moira (the gut physical attraction between two larger-than-life souls). Angel’s feelings for Cordelia had already been present long before then, but Fred’s observations provided him with an opportunity to acknowledge them for the first time and reflect on them. 
Lorne being an empath naturally had an insight into Angel’s feelings and in ‘Waiting in the Wings’ (3x13) he revealed that he’d read Angel and knew he had feelings for Cordelia. Like Fred, he also spoke of kyrumption and told Angel that the way he was feeling for Cordelia was real. Lorne consistently was attuned to Angel’s feelings for Cordelia and understood that they’d grown beyond friendship. He also actively encouraged Angel to act on them because he believed Cordelia felt the same way about him and he shouldn’t miss the chance to see what they could be. 
I watched ‘Waiting in the Wings’ with commentary from Whedon last week and in that he explained that the spell was a way for Angel and Cordelia to act on the feelings they had for each other (that they were only just starting to realise) in a way whereby they didn’t actually have to admit that they had those feelings and wanted to act on them (because they were afraid of the consequences). Fred and Lorne’s observations are very much the same - they’re a conduit through which Angel was able to internally explore his growing romantic feelings for Cordy and slowly come to the realisation that he was in love with her. 
7. ‘Were we in love?’: Romantic love
Although I’ve been primarily focused on the general connection between Angel and Cordelia and what they brought to each other’s lives, there was definitely romantic love and attraction between the two of them and it’s important to discuss that.
I think when people compare Angel and Cordy’s relationship to Angel’s relationship with Buffy people feel Angel’s love for Cordelia wasn’t romantic or passionate, but it was, it’s just that the love he had for Cordy and their relationship was so fundamentally different from his relationship with Buffy that the two can’t really be compared. Buffy was Angel’s epic, great love - it consumed him from the inside out, it was intense, passionate and devastating - but Cordy was something entirely different. She wasn’t supposed to be some big epic love, she was supposed to be a friend with whom he developed a strong bond with and slowly came to fall in love with over time. Their love wasn’t characterised by angst-ridden scenes, grand speeches of forbidden love and sexual tension - it was grounded in family, friendship and emotional connection (as I’ve explored above). Their feelings for each other weren’t sudden and didn’t start out big (they truly were just acquaintances at the start of ATS season 1), but as they spent time together, shared experiences and got to know each other, their romantic feelings quietly grew in the background until neither of them could ignore it anymore.
It’s frustrating that we never got a clear admission of love between the two (all of their love confessions were to other people or cut off before they finished), but there is no doubt in my mind that Angel and Cordelia were in love. Their actions proved that and from a personal perspective, I could feel the love between them. Everyone will have different interpretations of when they believe the pair fell in love, but interestingly, I don’t think there’s supposed to be ‘one moment’ that they fell in love, because the whole point of their relationship is that it was never that clear cut. They didn’t go to bed one night as best friends and wake up the next day a think, “I’m in love with Angel/Cordelia!”. It was a subtle evolution of feelings over time, which neither of them truly noticed until it was brought to their attention by others, because they were so used to being friends and navigating within the realms of that, that they didn’t consider the possibility that their feelings could have gone beyond that.
Since ATS was primarily focused on Angel’s POV, it’s very easy to follow Angel’s evolving feelings for Cordelia and attempt to pin-point the moment at which his romantic feelings came to fruition. Like I said, I don’t think there was one particular moment where Angel realised his feelings for Cordelia, but in my opinion, they had definitley developed by ‘Dead End’ (2x18). At the beginning of season 2, Angel had a crisis due to Darla’s return and he fired Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn. It was really the darkest we saw Angel get in ATS whilst he had his soul, he truly lost his way for a while and Cordelia was so hurt and angry by his actions that she couldn’t forgive him. When Angel finally realised he’d made a mistake cutting his friends out of his life, he did everything he could to make amends, but he seemed most affected by the loss of Cordelia’s friendship and he was determined to earn her forgiveness. What’s interesting about this is that at this point one could argue that Angel’s friendship with Cordelia wasn’t that profound and it didn’t particularly matter if they made up, because they still could’ve worked together as co-workers (although it might’ve been a little awkward and uncomfortable). But Angel was adamant that he wanted her friendship back and almost the entirety of ‘Epiphany’ (2x16) was focused on Angel’s desire to make amends with Cordy and his devastation when she refused to accept him back. This continued in ‘Disharmony’ (2x17), with him desperately fighting to earn her forgiveness and ending with him winning Cordelia over by buying her clothes, which he was visibly happy about (x). Angel’s reaction at the prospect of losing Cordelia beckons back to ‘To Shanshu to L.A.’ (1x22) when we witnessed for the first time how scared he was to lose her and also suggests that at this point in season 2 his romantic feelings were developing for her. In the following episode ‘Dead End’ (2x18), he was so focused on making Cordelia feel better (and this was likely a continuation of him making it up to her) that he brought her food and his reaction to her saying she loved him was perhaps the brightest smile I’ve ever seen on Angel’s face (x). In ‘Belonging’ (2x19), Angel’s attraction to Cordelia was made clear when he saw her in a bikini and he also expressed anger at the director of the commercial she was filming for treating her like a ‘commodity’ and a ‘slave’, forcing him to apologise to Cordelia for the way he spoke to her and telling Cordelia he would rip his head off if she wanted him to. When Cordelia was sucked into the portal to Pylea in ‘Over the Rainbow’ (2x20), Angel’s profound emotional connection to Cordelia was clear (x) - he just wanted her back, he didn’t care how or what they had to do and he expressed that he couldn’t lose Cordy again after just getting her back (also that one line, ‘It’s Cordy’, that Angel says to Wesley when he tells Angel it’s too dangerous to go through the portal and they may never get back holds so much emotion). When Cordelia admitted to loving Groo in Pylea, Angel mistakenly thought she was saying it to him and was disappointed to learn otherwise. So basically, by the end of season 2 Angel undoubtedly had romantic feelings for Cordelia, but wasn’t yet aware of them. Season 3 continued to build on that by allowing Angel to heal following Buffy’s death and reach a resolution  in ‘Heartthrob’ (3x01) whereby he could start to process his feelings for Cordy, putting him a situation where he was faced with the prospect of losing her again, therefore cementing the depth of his feelings for her (‘That Vision Thing’ 3x02) and having Fred share her observations about his feelings for her, finally allowing him to fully acknowledge them for the first time. 
From Cordelia’s POV it’s much harder to guess when her romantic feelings for Angel developed, because we didn’t get as much insight into her. I do think her feelings for him didn’t come as soon as Angel’s did for her and neither did the realisation that she felt that way. ‘That Vision Thing’ (3x02) hints that Cordelia’s feelings for Angel may have begun to grow beyond friendship when she said, “If I lose the visions I wouldn't be able to help you anymore. You wouldn't need me.” Notice, Cordelia was concerned with Angel needing her, not the rest of the team. Also, since Angel was so devoted to saving Cordelia and explicitly told her she was more important to him than his vendetta against W&H, we can assume this impacted Cordelia’s feelings towards him since this was perhaps the first time she noticed how committed he was to keeping her safe and how much he wanted her in his life. I also think that witnessing Angel go through the process of becoming a father significantly impacted Cordy’s feelings for Angel. Seeing him take on the role of a father showed an even softer, nurturing side of him and the bond Cordy developed with Connor also brought them closer together. However, ‘Birthday’ (3x11) is the first episode that properly affirms the depth of Cordelia’s feelings for Angel. She was given everything she ever wanted - fame, money, stardom - and she gave it all up to return to Angel. Despite having no memory, upon seeing Angel so broken, Cordelia instinctively leaned in and kissed him fulfilling the old fairy-tale trope of true love’s kiss breaking the spell. I think from Cordelia’s POV, she was much more closed off to allowing herself to acknowledge her romantic feelings for Angel because she didn’t even consider Angel a romantic option given The Curse. This also explains why upon Groo’s return in season 3, she resumed her relationship with him despite having clearly developed profound romantic feelings for Angel that led her to prioritise him above Groo repeatedly to the point that Groo himself noticed that she had feelings for Angel.
This brings me back to the main point about Angel and Cordelia’s romantic feelings for each other never being straightforward or easily defined. In ‘Waiting in the Wings’ (3x13) it was clear - spell or no spell - that Angel and Cordelia shared a mutual sexual attraction and that Angel’s canonically confirmed romantic feelings for Cordelia were reciprocated. Yet Cordelia didn’t confirm her feelings for him explicitly to the audience until 9 episodes later in the finale of the season. This is for a number of reasons, but primarily because it was easier to continue denying their feelings and remain friends than face the complications that a romance posed. Even if they had been given the chance to openly express their feelings for each other, what would’ve happened next? As Angel said to Lorne in ‘Waiting in the Wings’, what could he offer her (as a cursed vampire)? It would’ve been too complicated and they knew that.
That criss-cross and complexity of their love is part of the reason I love them so much, because it’s authentic and relatable. Particularly in the case of friends who have fallen in love - it’s no easy transition and it’s definitely not easy to make sense of your feelings Plus, Angel and Cordy had the added complications that went with their life (Angel being a vampire, The Curse, Darla, their friends, Angel Investigations, W&H and the supernatural world generally, to name a few). In an interview a long time ago SMG said that the most heartbreaking thing about Buffy and Angel was that it was unfulfilled love, and in this respect so are Angel and Cordelia. It’s heartbreaking because they truly loved one another but they were never even given the opportunity to see what they could potentially be. They missed their chance and because of that they were always left wondering ‘what if?’ 
8. ‘I’ll be seeing you’: Missed Opportunity 
The fact that Angel and Cordy never got their shot to be together (which they discussed in ‘You’re Welcome’ 5x11) is the tragedy of their love. However, it wouldn’t be the same love story if it didn’t have that unresolved element to it. Everybody longs for closure and resolution with their ships, but the truth is, in real life few people truly get that, they simply have to move on and live with their regrets. But whilst I love Angel and Cordelia’s relationship and story as it is, there’s no escaping the fact that they were done dirty in seasons 4 and 5 in regards to the writing and as a result their story did go in a...shall we say unfavourable direction? 
Everyone that’s ever watched ATS has problems with season 4 (I could write a separate post about the problems with season 4, particularly in regards to Cordelia’s character), and when it comes to Angel and Cordelia’s relationship, there’s a lot that was handled badly which unfortunately, derailed the beautiful development that took place between them in season 3. We still had a lot of key moments that played out between Angel and Cordelia in season 4, but the main problem with the season is that we don’t actually know when Cordelia was actually Cordelia. At what point was she herself, if she ever was? Did she really have amnesia? If so, can we count amnesia!Cordy as still being Cordy to an extent? When did Jasmine start to take over? Did she have any agency at all when she was possessed by Jasmine, even if it was only the briefest of moments? All of these questions remain unanswered and make it very difficult to fully assess the Angel/Cordelia relationship during season 4, but I’m going to try to anyway. 
What remained clear throughout season 4 was that Angel loved Cordy. In fact, despite Cordelia technically being absent for the majority of the season, it was very Cangel-heavy, perhaps more than the seasons before it. Angel had multiple dreams/fantasies about Cordelia, devoted himself to finding her when she was missing at the start of the season, was visibly distraught to have her lose her memories and strike up a relationship with Connor, and lost his soul from a fantasy of making love to her. In my opinion, this is the season that really affirmed that Angel was in love with Cordy beyond any doubt. When Angel asked Cordelia if they were in love and she replied, “We were”, I strongly believe that was Cordelia. She’d just gotten her memories back so Jasmine hadn’t had chance to worm her way to the forefront yet, and I believe in that moment that was Cordelia finally breaking through and telling Angel that she loved him. Although the circumstances are ambiguous to say the least, I believe this to be the first admission of love exchanged between the two whereby the words were said plainly (because obviously they said ‘I love you’ to each other repeatedly before this moment in other ways). However, this doesn’t undo the dirty that was done to Angel and Cordelia in this season. Despite the fact that we know Cordelia wasn’t responsible for any of her actions since she was possessed by Jasmine, it’s still very hard when watching her with Connor to separate Jasmine from Cordelia. And from Angel’s perspective, he literally watched the woman he loved have sex with his son. Finding out afterwards that it wasn’t actually Cordelia doesn’t reduce the devastating impact of witnessing that and the way the Cordelia!Jasmine arc was written did taint some aspects of their relationship by forcing Angel to have to witness ‘Cordelia’ enter into a romantic relationship with Connor and have a child with him. Also, it was utterly ridiculous and unbelievable that Angel and co. wouldn’t recognise that Cordy wasn’t herself. This is definitely a writing issue, because the whole possession thing was handled so badly in the respect that Cordelia seemed like herself (even her sleeping with Connor was believable due to her amnesiac state), but it was still not in-keeping with the show that none of her friends (and especially Angel) would notice that Cordelia was possessed. Overall, season 4 did a huge disservice to Angel and Cordelia’s romance (although the biggest disservice was definitely done to Cordelia’s character) and whilst their relationship was beautifully developed in seasons 1-3, season 4 stopped that development in its tracks. 
Season 5 continued to do a disservice to Cordelia (and Angel and Cordelia) by practically erasing Cordy from existence (I know that backstage issues with the cast need to be taken into consideration here, but the lack of consideration to Cordelia’s character is still a valid point to discuss). Despite how utterly terrified Angel was whenever faced with the prospect of losing Cordelia, in season 5 he was visibly fine about Cordelia being in a coma and wasn’t even attempting to pull her out of it. The fact that Angel (and co.) would simply stand by and go on with the rest of their lives without devoting every single second to waking Cordy  is ridiculous and completely OOC for all of them. Angel, Wes, Gunn, Fred, Lorne and Cordy were deeply connected and would have done anything for each other, and there’s no way they would’ve given up on Cordy like that. But back to the point, despite Angel being in love with Cordelia throughout season 4, there was no reference to his feelings for her until ‘You’re Welcome’ (5x11). Now, don’t get me wrong, I love that episode and I always will, but I also can’t help but notice how out of place that episode feels within the rest of the season. In the episodes leading up to it Cordelia was barely mentioned and in the episodes afterwards, her death was completely ignored with only a few passing references from Angel near the end of the season (don’t even get me started on the fact that she didn’t even get a funeral. What the hell was that all about?!?!? This is Cordy.) Furthermore, Angel reverted back to being actively in love with Buffy (particularly in ‘The Girl in Question’ 5x20, which is honestly such a bad episode, I can’t even) with no consideration given to the fact that he had feelings for Cordelia. Personally, I believe all of these consistencies come from fan pandering - the reaction to Angel and Cordelia becoming a couple was very negative so they reverted back to the Angel/Buffy relationship because it was so popular and well-loved. But back to, ‘You’re Welcome’, the episode definitely redeemed some of what was done to Cordelia (and her relationship with Angel) by giving her/them a satisfying ending after an horrendous season 4, but nothing can truly make up for the fact that Angel and Cordelia’s relationship was so abruptly ended in the manner it was. It also can’t make up for the fact that we missed out on two entire seasons worth of development that we would’ve potentially got if the Jasmine plot hadn’t taken place (again, I understand this was largely down to behind-the-scenes complications with Charisma and Whedon). 
These flaws in the writing (and execution of the relationship) in seasons 4 and 5 is far and above my biggest criticism of Angel and Cordelia’s relationship as a whole (although it’s a criticism of the writers more so than Cordelia and Angel or David and Charisma). It never would have made sense for Angel and Cordy to have a plain sailing fairy-tale romance, but they had so much more potential and could have grown to become something even more beautiful if season 4 had continued to build upon their development from seasons 1-3. ‘You’re Welcome’ perfectly demonstrates the potential they had and what they could’ve become if Cordelia hadn’t been possessed by Jasmine. And that was only a taster and we could’ve had, we could’ve so much more. In my opinion, there were no limits on where their relationship could have been taken since it was so well written, built-up and established leading up to season 4. The fact that we’ll never know how the relationship would’ve played out if it had continued is sad, but as I said, that missed chance that they had is key to Angel and Cordelia’s relationship. It’s the one that got away, the love that could never be and that one person whom we always wonder, “What if?” about. 
9. ‘There are no people like us’: Why Angel/Cordelia are misunderstood and live in Buffy/Angel’s shadow
The final section I wanted to do is an exploration of the reasons why I feel Cordelia and Angel are misunderstood as a ship and how I believe this primarily stems from the fact that they live in Buffy/Angel’s shadow. This is where I’ll be comparing Angel/Cordelia and Buffy/Angel, so if you’re a fan of Buffy/Angel, you may not want to read this final section. However, this isn’t anti-Buffy/Angel, it’s really me working through my own thoughts and feelings as both a Buffy/Angel and a Angel/Cordelia shipper (yes, we exist haha). 
People have a tendency to make comparisons between the Angel/Cordelia and Buffy/Angel relationship two relationships, when in reality (as I’ve mentioned above) the two aren’t really comparable. Angel’s relationships with Buffy and Cordelia were distinctive, took place under completely different circumstances and brought different things to his life. Angel was fully engaged in a romantic relationship with Buffy for 2 years (on and off), but he never had the opportunity to do that with Cordelia. The romantic feelings were there, as was the potential for them to act on that and see what they could be, but it didn’t happen. So to compare the two relationships (when technically Angel and Cordy never entered into a romantic relationship) is futile to say the least. However, people naturally make those comparisons and when they do they seem to come up with two key reasons Angel/Cordelia are inferior to Buffy/Angel:
1. Sexual relationship/chemistry - It hasn’t escaped my attention that Buffy and Angel have a lot more sexual chemistry than Angel and Cordelia. Honestly, in my opinion, nothing can really compare to SMG/David chemistry, it’s so damn good. However, this criticism simply fails to understand that Angel and Cordelia’s love/connection never was primarily one of a sexual nature (notice that every fantasy Angel ever had of Cordelia was romantic not sexual). Romance was definitely part of their relationship (particularly in seasons 3, 4 and 5) and they had an attraction and they had chemistry (’Waiting in the Wings’ damn well proved that), but their relationship was never about sex. In comparison to Angel and Buffy, their relationship was deeply rooted in attraction. From the moment they meet each other they’re very physically attracted to each other and in seasons 1 and 2 they both make references made to how badly they want to kiss each other whenever they’re together, whilst in season 3 they discuss the difficulties they find in fighting against their sexual attraction to each other. As a result, Angel and Buffy’s relationship was always heavily steeped in sexual tension. The fact that Angel and Cordelia’s relationship didn’t have the same level of sexual attraction doesn’t make that relationship any less important, just different (which I know I keep saying, but it’s kind of my whole argument here - the two relationships are so fundamentally different you can’t compare them). 
2. Buffy is Angel’s one and only true love - There’s no denying that Buffy was and always will be Angel’s great love, but to quote one of my not-so-favourite shows (The Vampire Diaries), contrary to popular belief, people can (and usually do) have more than one great love in their lives. Clinging too tightly to the Buffy/Angel relationship ignores the immense changes Angel undergoes on ATS and the fact he moved on from Buffy (up until Spike’s return in season 5, which reverts him back to being kind of obsessed with Buffy, which is such bad writing and so inconsistent that it annoys me. And this isn’t  including crossovers either, because damn, they’re so problematic/inconsistent and I didn’t even realised until I watched ATS, but I can see now why the writers didn’t want to do too many crossovers despite the fans wanting them). Buffy was always in Angel’s heart and he always carried her with him, but he didn’t actively pine over her or yearn for her when he moved to L.A. (he did more so in season 1 and particularly after the events of ‘I Will Remember You’, but he slowly moved on). Angel conclusively and healthily moved on from Buffy - he established a life for himself which he loved and made him happy, he found a home, friends and embarked on a new love with Cordy. When two people have shared a love like Angel did with Buffy, it never goes away but it does change and it almost grows dormant (for reference, there’s a brilliant meta that discusses Angel moving on from Buffy which you can read here). To use a real life example here, my mom (who’s now 50) has been in around 5 serious long-term relationships in her life and has been with her current partner for 5 years and is completely in love with him. However, she’s openly admitted to me that she loved my dad more than she’s ever loved any man and she still regards him the love of her life. That doesn’t mean she’s still in love with him, because she’s not. She hasn’t seen him in two decades, she’s moved on and she’s found love with someone new. That love she had with him is a memory in her head and her heart, but it has no place in her life now. She’s a different person, her life has changed dramatically and that love is in the past. If he rocked up now he’d be a stranger to her and regardless of those memories she has of him, he’s no longer the person she’s in love with. That’s exactly what happened with Buffy and Angel. They always loved each other, but Angel truly did move forward (whether Buffy moved on is something I’m less unsure of). In ‘Heartthrob’ (3x01) Angel told James that he’d lost the woman he loved (Buffy) and that he had loved her with his whole heart. In response, James said that that couldn’t be true because if it was, when she had died Angel would’ve died along with her. After that, in a scene with Cordy (x), Angel admitted that he was okay and had dealt with Buffy’s death and how he felt guilty about that. In my opinion, this episode (and those scenes in particular) confirmed that Angel had moved on from Buffy and had gotten to a place where he could finally open himself up to Cordelia wholeheartedly. In fact, David spoke about how Angel had moved on from Buffy and that Cordy was what he needed (he also mentioned Darla, which is a topic I won’t get into because I could write an entirely separate post about that too) and here’s what he said: 
Interviewer: Darla killed herself, right? The baby's mother? Who's gonna step up and help Angel raise the baby? Buffy?
David: God, no. Buffy's pretty much out of the picture. They've played their storyline and that's just the past. I think between Cordelia and Fred he'll be mommied to death. But, Buffy's just the past.
Interviewer: Oh, come on. Buffy can never really be just the past, can she? I mean, that's Angel's soulmate.
David: I think Darla was probably his soulmate. I mean, they spent a hundred years together, then made a baby. You can't just--
Interviewer: Well, then Buffy was his first love.
David: Angel was Buffy's first love, but Angel loved Darla in a sick way.
Interviewer: I'm a Buffy/Angel fan. Sorry.
David: You're forgiven. No, I'm just saying that the two shows are on different networks and it's not gonna happen. There's no more story there for those two. Buffy isn't Angel's priority anymore. In season one and two of our show, she was always in the back of his mind, well, now it's all about the baby and Buffy is just, well, she's just a person he used to know.
Interviewer : Awww, come on! The story there was so incredible.
David: And like every good story, it came to an end. And then started over. On. Different. Networks. (again with the emphasis)
Interviewer : Is Angel going to hook up with Cordy?
David: Well, I'm all for it. I don't know what the writers have planned in that regard, but I'm a fan of Charisma's work and I'd love for our characters to be romantically involved. Cordy is really what Angel needs, I believe. (x)
See, it’s important to acknowledge that as amazing as Buffy and Angel’s story was, they broke up and went their separate ways. As David rightfully pointed out, it was the past and Buffy was no longer his priority. It’s always frustrated me that Angel was expected not to move on and to pine for Buffy, whilst Buffy was allowed to move on and find love again. The argument is that Angel was so much older than Buffy that he couldn’t or rather shouldn’t want to find love, whilst Buffy was still young, but the problem is, although Angel was technically old, he was still a teenager himself in terms of his experiences in love. He didn’t have a soul for 100 years so was incapable of love and then he spent 100 years when he had a soul cut off from the world. He had barely experienced anything the world had to offer and he certainly hadn’t had the opportunity to forge connections with others or explore the world of love. Buffy was able to move on from Angel and experience different types of relationships/loves with Parker (urgh), Riley and Spike (amongst others who she flirted with or briefly dated post-BTVS season 3). Angel deserved the same opportunity to experience new types of relationships that were different than the one he had with Buffy. I’m going to use another quote The Vampire Diaries because I feel it sums this up perfectly, “I realised that I may not be able to explain what I feel for her, but it is something, and, yeah, maybe all love isn't true love in the messed up way that you and I have experienced it, but I think this could turn into something even better.” This right here is exactly how I perceive Angel’s feelings for Buffy and Cordelia to be. Angel had only ever loved one person, Buffy was all he’d ever known of love and it was so big, messy and all-consuming , but with Cordelia he realised that love didn’t necessarily have to be like that and that there are different types of love. 
There’s no disputing that Angel never loved Cordelia in the same way he loved Buffy (which this post explains perfectly) - Angel will never love anyone the way he loved Buffy, but he did fall in love with Cordelia and she enriched his life in new ways and filled a void in him in much the same way Buffy did. During ATS Cordelia surpassed Buffy in importance simply because of the place she had in Angel’s life - she was the center of his world and without her it wouldn’t be the same (we saw that in season 5). It would be unfair to claim Angel couldn’t or shouldn’t love someone else just because he had such an intense love with Buffy. What makes his relationship with Cordelia so special is that it was so different than the love he had with Buffy. Those two loves will always sit in contrast to each other, but will never overshadow or replace one another because they’re both significant and special for different reasons. 
The point of talking about this was really just to highlight that Angel and Cordelia’s relationship is not by any means invalid or inferior because of Buffy/Angel. Both relationships are important and exist in contrast to each other. Angel and Cordelia’s relationship does tend to be misunderstood and/or unappreciated due to the nature of the writing (which had a lot of problems in seasons 4 and 5, and even a little in season 3) and because they’re too heavily compared to the hot and heavy romance between Angel and Buffy. However, Angel and Cordelia’s relationship developed organically over time in a subtle way and is demonstrative of how much relationships can evolve as life progresses and circumstances change, and how two people can grow together. Theirs was a story about two people, who in the beginning were indifferent to each other, but grew to know each other profoundly and found a lot through being in each others lives - purpose, belonging, family, friendship and love - and through having and sharing that, they fell in love. It’s not a conventional romantic love as most of us would expect, and they didn’t have the chances to fully explore their romantic connection because their story ended prematurely, but it was a beautiful relationship embedded in human connection and friendship at the deepest and purest level.
If you got to the end of this, thank you so much for reading. This took me days and days to write and edit, so I’m really grateful to you for reading and would appreciate likes/reblogs if you found this interesting. I’d also love to hear your thoughts on this topic, so if you have any feel free to stop by my ask box :)
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grinnoire · 6 years ago
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in an effort to obliterate prototype 2 from my mind here's a list of hcs for a dana-is-fine-now 5yrs later self-indulgent au
alex, dana, and ragland moved to canada via some -cough- slightly illegal maneuvers, so blackwatch can't move in on them even when they find alex again at risk of causing an international incident
(basically canada is like "hes been here for 5 years and its been fine, also if youre gonna provoke THAT then do it on US soil bc we know what happened to manhattan and do NOT want a repeat in toronto (also, cranky bc your bioweapon is ours now arent you)")
(everyone thinks ragland died after contact with ZEUS but he's fine and lives down the street.)
so mostly blackwatch just spies on the gang as they get up to dumb slice-of-life stuff
alex got a bachelor's in psychology (doing one of the "hard" sciences would feel like too much of a repeat and he's soul-searching) and now has a job as a forensic psychologist. mostly he's everyone's paperwork jockey because he doesn't complain when they dump theirs on him, but sometimes he gets to decide who gets to sit on jury duty. this drives blackwatch absolutely nuts
dana is working as an editor for a local magazine. she still keeps up with news journalism on her free time, but she’s decided to take it easy after everything that happened and the job pays pretty well.
dana has more or less come to terms with virus brother, mostly because every other week he goes on some dark and broody rant about being a monster/hearing the screams of those he's killed/his innate desire as a virus to kill consume assimilate infect, and you kinda just get used to it after a while
alex got a deal with a local slaughterhouse to buy some of their stock from them, since he likes his meat so raw it's still mooing. literally. they are convinced he's either a butcher or a cultist but you know what, that's his business
dana starts referring to the real alex mercer as just "my big brother," and not by name. similarly, she usually calls alex by name, but she also refers to him as her little brother, and when joking in private, her baby brother (he is five and she will never not find that funny)
she also really does think of him as a kid, and notes that one of the most divergent traits he has from the real alex (besides empathy) is how easily he trusts people (she jokes that she worries he'll get lured out into a white van behind the mall with promises of meat). he's also super dramatic about EVERYTHING, so her impression of him has slowly morphed from "scary semi-insane virus man but still a step up from my actual brother" to "haha, kid brother who sucks at smash bros"
since alex doesnt sleep, he usually whiles away the nighttime hours by hunting (he's got a permit and everything, at dana's insistence) or playing video games
he's REALLY GOOD at rhythm games but plays with the sound off ("it's distracting, dana" "it's The Point Of The Game, alex") and he's shit at fighting games ("have you ever considered NOT charging blindly in on me clearly about to unleash an ultimate").
he's also not great at puzzle games and dana has caught him melted into a pile of meat moss over professor layton before. this is in spite of his constant claims to have consumed some of gentek's most brilliant minds, so it only further cemented dana's "kid brother" impression
alex: i dont have a preference for toppings so i get everything on it since i dont eat with my mouth anyways. thousands of dead men's preferences means no preferences -later, after dana has forced him to try things using taste buds- alex: can i get a large pineapple and anchovy pizza with alfredo sauce instead of tomato the guy at domino's: im arresting you for pizza crimes
an argument they constantly rehash is that dana insists that alex should try shopping for real clothes while alex insists he can just shapeshift into whatever clothes he wants. this has, on one occasion, led to neighbors in the hallway overhearing alex yelling angrily that "IM ALWAYS NAKED, DANA"
dana is a big lesbian and kicks alex out of the apartment when she's got "friends" over. they both know what dana's up to but dana insists that her five-year-old brother "will understand when he gets older" when he complains about it
most people that know alex thinks he has no sense of humor. this is untrue. he just has a very limited one and very dull reactions. but one time dana showed him this
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and he let out an involuntary snort/giggle and then looked very confused and kind of scared, like he had no idea what that sound was or where it came from
most people believe alex’s brows drawn, eyes narrowed glare means he’s angry, but dana knows that that’s actually his “i’m confused” look. this is also the look alex wears 70-80% of the time.
(his actual “i’m angry” look is brows drawn, eyes wide open)
alex has a tendency to blurt out random factoids, like a walking trivia book. these facts are ALWAYS morbid and he ALWAYS only realizes that after he’s said it out loud. dana goes “i think i’m coming down with a flu that’s been going around work” and alex goes “huh, you know flus cause 200,000 hospitalization and 3,000 deaths every year” and dana gives him a Look and he pauses for a long moment before adding in a “sorry”. dana actually thinks this habit might be a leftover from how OG alex mercer liked to mansplain, but when this alex does it it’s less insufferable and more just awkward, so she doesn’t mind it that much
“butterflies can taste with their feet. I can also do that, if i try.”  “awesome, alex”
they have separate rooms since they both make a decent amount and live a ways out from the big city, and dana’s looks pretty normal, slightly messy, and alex’s is, hm. dana keeps insisting he try decorating it and actually putting stuff in it, so it’s home to his attempt at interior decor. the room features: a bookshelf crammed full of old textbooks and basically anything remotely novel-like that he could buy from the clearance rack, 2 (two) whole deer skeletons, picked entirely clean, a large, stainless-steel industrial-grade refrigerator/freezer unit (full of huge slabs of meat), the world’s loneliest computer desk and chair, a moldy cantaloupe in a glass box on the windowsill (”alex what is that” “i’m growing penicillin” “...why?”), a tiny photo of him and dana in a really big frame hanging on the wall, and also framed, dana’s MRI scans showing that she suffered no lasting effects from the infection. dana has had her partners accidentally walk into that room instead of hers and then call the cops. she kinda wants to say something to him about it, but since one of alex’s most common broody speech topics is how he doesn’t feel like he has a personality of his own, and since what he does have in his room certainly shows...”personality,” she figures she’ll leave it alone.
whenever a coworker starts to get friendly with him, alex pulls them aside to let them know he’s actually the blacklight virus that ravaged manhattan. he doesn’t actually use his powers because frankly it takes more energy than his current dietary plan can make back, but he insists until the coworker goes “haha okay, okay, i got it.” no one actually believes him but alex is convinced they all do, and dana has never been around for this to correct his mistake
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