#''who is this boy they keep massacring?'' i guess you will just have to read to find out :) and enjoy ntt :) and then suffer with me :) :)

[the-one-who-lambs]

uhh hello!! sorry if this is a tall order LOL but I wanna ask, do you have any narilamb fanfic recs? :D I already read yours and I really like bamsara’s and I’m waiting for epicaandk’s to update (that one is my fav ever <3) but idk what to read now lol

Tall order?? Naaaaah, I'm always happy to give recs. Oh boy, I'm gonna go in reverse chronological order.

If you've read all of my narilamb fics (have you seriously? I'm impressed, that's probably well over half the 150k+ I've written for this damn fandom. Also, to anyone seeing this from a reblog, my stuff is over at onethirdofimpossible!) then here we go!

You already mentioned it, but The Rehabilitation of Death is excellent so far! This one is by @bamsara who is new to the CotL fandom but apparently not new to fanfic writing; they have a really popular FNAF fic and I assume the well-deserved attention this fic's been getting is a byproduct of the popularity they've already gotten in other fandoms. :D Welcome, bamsara! Many of the fic writers in this fandom are friends with each other already, but we don't bite if you wanna say hi.

Feel No Evil and Language Barrier, both by @payasita. I always love how payasita portrays this duo (in both digital art and writing), with so much sass and repressed loneliness, knowing they're stuck together for eternity and making the best of it. (And maybe falling in love, depending on how dense Narinder keeps being.) What makes these come alive for me is how well thought out the setting is outside the Lamb and Narinder. The descriptions and weight of emotions really pop here.

LITERALLY ANYTHING written by pavi / @i-eat-deodorant. Depending on how spicy you want your fics to be he has even more here. Character analysis, diction, pacing, etc. are consistently 10/10. Top-quality banter between a sassy Lamb and tired old man Narinder. We constantly bounce ideas off each other and inspire each other a lot but I promise I'm not hyping him up just because he's my friend oh my god please just go bless your eyes.

It Was For You, O Death by blueberry-muffin-massacre (if they have a tumblr, let me know so I can tag!). An intriguing alternative ending to the final battle wherein the Lamb chooses a secret third option by refusing to give up the Red Crown and still observing Narinder as the God of Death. So many details are so well thought out and duality their relationship is nicely characterized-- both genuine care for each other and also quite unhealthy. A fine line treaded well!

Confessional by jusmove (again, lmk if they have a tumblr). Been a while since I've read it, but I love how the Lamb chips at Narinder's very carefully built emotional walls. Their personalities are very well fleshed out here, especially Narinder's cognitive dissonance at being able to process love.

Confession by @thewitchoftheweed. I didn't expect a part two to this one, but my god I was so thrilled when it did update. Narinder and Lamb with their unique and parallel loneliness and their fucked-up sense of everything. Their relationship is very rocky here, and I love how they navigate it: with tension and eventual, pained acceptance. Mind the rating.

Of Character Development and Being Dense by @calliecature. A short and sweet narilamb classic. They're both mutually pining and one of them is too emotionally repressed to realize it. Guess who.

Not An Offering, But a Gift by @checkplzjuliet. Small confession fic. I especially love how Narinder's descriptions twist the knife of his situation here, and how Lambert is a total foil for him! There are a lot of good things happening in such a short span, which is impressive.

Also, if you think you've read all my narilamb fics... I do have a secret one out there too. Just so you know.

Happy reading!

I'm already friends with many of the people here, but if any of the writers I've tagged have been kinda wanting to reach out for a while but feel a little anxious... Don't be. I've made my best friends in this fandom by literally just waiting for some of my readers to get over whatever assumption they have that I'm cool and say hi. Or being the more confident one first.

[mr-ys-phantasma]

🌙 Moon Phases 🌙

Agatha Harkness X Fem!reader

Word Count: 1493

Chapter 35:

Jen helped keep Lilia focused on the present and not let her mind wander or get distracted by anything that might slow them down.

Those swords were still hanging above, and everyone doubted would remain there if you kept losing time.

As if the room had heard your thoughts, the ceiling slowly started to go down; bringing the swords closer and closer to you.

"We didn't even put any cards down!" Agatha shouted, glaring at practically anything.

The road was starting to get on her nerves.

"Maybe no cards are as bad as the wrong ones." Billy suggested.

You looked at Lilia again, who seemed for a moment to be lost somewhere else; her mid wandering off to a different memory of the past.

You grabbed both her shoulders and shook her faintly. "Lilia! Focus on me!" You shouted, trying to bring her back to the present. You were not sure what was going on, but now it was neither the time nor the place to question her. "We need your Tarot Expertise"

Wasting no time, Lilia walked towards the table; her eyes immediately falling on the cards both Billy and Agatha had put down.

"Who massacred this spread?" The old witch questioned, making the two culprits point a finger at one another.

You held back a chuckle at the scene, and if you were not racing against time to avoid impalement; you would have definitely enjoyed the moment more.

But alas, your time was ticking, and there wasn't exactly any true indication of how long you had before the trial was over.

"Who's the querent?" Lilia asked next, looking at her coven.

Billy looked around at the women for a moment. "You mean the subject? Me. I guess I'm the queer-ent." He was amused by his own bad joke, but the smile disappeared as quick as it came the moment you slapped the back of his head.

He turned to look at you, one hand placed against the spot you had smacked him; lips parted in a theatrical hurtful expression.

"Now it's not the time for pun jokes," you reminded him, surprising the teenager with the fact that you knew what a pun was in the first place. "Just get your reading so we can get out of here,"

You almost pushed him towards one of the chairs and forced him to sit, as Lilia took the seat across and grabbed the deck before passing it to him.

"The querent shuffles and cuts." She informed as the coven gathered around.

Agatha rolled her eyes. "Lilia, we don't have time for this."

"Shuffles and cuts," she repeated stubbornly. Billy immediately obliged. "Now, please ask your question."

Of course, nothing could go smoothly as Jen and Agatha started to argue again; honestly making you wonder if they also had some sort of former romantic relationship.

Their arguments were not helping with the situation, pressuring Billy more and taking time from the reading.

The two witches continued and dragged Lilia with as tried to defend the rules of the Tarot to Agatha; who clearly had no respect for this particular witchy art.

It was only you who noticed the swords coming down once again, the roof slowly approaching as your end was getting nearer and nearer with each passing second.

"Ladies," you called then out, hoping to stop them while refusing to take your eyes off the swords; fearing if you did, one would kill you in the next second. "Ladies!" You called louder, hoping to be heard above their arguing and the mechanism pulling down the sword covered roof.

Billy was watching all this time, seeing the swords coming down and no one able to help; cause this was on him. At that moment of thrill and worry, at the face of certain death; he dared to ask the one question he had deep within his heart.

The very same question he feared to even think feared to get any answers to.

"Am I William, or am I Billy?" He asked, practically shouting above the noise.

"That's a very good question," Lilia said with a gentle smile, knowing in most detail of his feelings on the topic; considering he did take over the body ofna dead boy and pretended to be someone else's son. "This is the Safe Passage spread," she continued explaining and pulled out the first card. "The first card is you, the Traveller. Next comes What's Missing, the reason for your quest. Here is the Path Behind, wounds suffered, lessons learned. Here is the Path Ahead, a space for growth and discovery. Of course, you will face obstacles preceding a potential windfall. Uou must overcome all to reach your destination."

As Llia explained each card placement on the spread and what would represent depending on the card, Jen, you, and even Agatha were listening intensely; equally drawn by Lilia's words.

Jen was the first to notice that Agatha was actually paying attention for once and did not seem ready to comment, which was odd for her.

"What, no snide remarks?" Jen teased, always in the mood to try and rub some salt on Agatha's wounds and prove her wrong.

Of course, Agatha was not going to make it any easier for her. She kept her chin up. "Made sense to me."

You rolled your eyes, cleared your throat, and moved to stand between the two women. "If you two are done. Time is ticking, and this is Billy's reading, not yours. "

Being called out like that and realizing you were making a valid point, they just mumbled under their breaths, but the two witches did not dare to continue their little quarell.

You looked at Lilia, who nodded faintly in appreciation for stopping the noisy duo from interrupting any further. You replied with a head nod of your own, though you could still not shKs the feeling that something was off.

The Tarot Cards were definitely Lilia's trial, and yet the questions were about Billy's Path. It just didn't click right in your mind, simply because this was not how the trials worked.

Each trial circled around a deep fear for each member, a fear they had to face, and a challenge that needed to be overcome as a coven.

So, if it was Lilia's trial, why was there nothing about her journey in the cards? Why the sudden focus on Billy?

While you were contemplating those questions in your mind, Lilia proceeded to draw two cards for Billy; the Magician and the Sun.

Yet both those cards did not seem to please the trial, for the swords changed and one landed top close to Jen; causing her to grab your upper arm subconsciously as she moved more into your personal space.

That was not something that Agatha liked, evident by her hard glare towards the Potions Witch; envy and jealousy flashing in her blue eyes... when she noticed.

The swords shaking and as she dared to focus on one, she saw it detaching from whatever invisible string was held; heading straight for Lilia.

In a surprising act of selflessness, Agatha tackled Lilia off the chair and to the ground; just as the sword pierced her chair.

An involuntary gasp left your lips, and your hands covered your mouth, eyes wide at the near death experience that you just witnessed. If Agatha had been a second slower or if she hadn't managed to push Lilia down with the first try...

You shook your head, trying not to think about the outcome.

Instead, you simply stood there and watched as Agatha was forced off; Lilia clearly fought her despite the magicless witch trying to explain that she had just saved her life.

Once both women were up again, you passed a hand over your hair; having almost forgotten the odd but rather unique crown of ice on your head.

"Something we did was wrong... there is no other explanation, " you commented, trying to ease your beating heart.

Jen looked at you. "Yeah, but what are we doing wrong?!" She asked, her tone elevated as she was getting equally stressed. "We followed damn Tarot Rules, Lilia doing the reading as is her trial. So what do we do wrong?"

Jen's words seemed to trigger something within Lilia's mind as she started to realise everything. Her time slips, the random flashes she would get a those years... it all slowly started to make sense.

And she finally had an answer.

"Because he is not the Querent," she suddenly said as she sat at the edge of the chair; unbothered by the sword that had almost impaled her and made her one Vlad the Impaler victims. "I am. This is my reading"

And with those words, she stopped shuffling and cut. Her fingers touched the first card, and her mind's eye immediately got a time flash; the name of the card was known to her before she even turned it.

"The Queen of Cups"

Chapter 36

[l33bang24]

OMG It’s You…(Part 11)

YouTube!Fem reader x Stray Kids

Summary: Y/N’s YouTube channel is taking off after her reactions to Stray Kids MV God’s Menu. Now she’s making videos nonstop along with working a full time job. What would happen if she got offered a job of a lifetime and met the boys of her succession?

⚠️Warnings⚠️: cursing, pet names, Chan and Minho being not smart, Chan and Minho having past history?? (lmk if I missed anything)

���️ : @laylasbunbunny @weirdowithaphone @silverstarburst @jusanontstuff @anxiousskylar @drewsandsebastianswife @amararosesblog @niaalove @blackbluerose666 (Taglist open)

Series Masterlist

(Authors note at the bottom)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Felix’s POV

I've never been angrier than I am right now. “Fucking pussies” I mumbled to myself. Why am I always the go-to person for fixing problems and uncovering information? I'm the golden child they can't be mad at. Maybe it's because I know how to avoid getting on their wrong side.

I stood outside Chan’s hotel door, nervously wringing my hands. Somehow, I felt like he was the safer choice between the two. Ever since his mysterious phone call, he seemed in a much better mood than Minho, who was just plain cranky. I knocked on the door and waited eagerly for Chan to open it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Third Person POV

Y/N had realized she had an uncanny ability to read Minho's moods. Lately, she could tell he was feeling grumpy, likely due to her lack of communication. After a nearly disastrous call with Chan, she hesitated to reach out to Minho, even though she knew he deserved to be in the know. She finally called him as she edited a new video in her recording room.

“Hey! I was waiting for your call, Jagiya. I thought you would leave me hanging!" he answered excitedly. She chuckled and glanced to the side. "No way, Min! I'd never do that to you. I've been swamped with the channel lately. I've meant to share something with you, but there have been so many changes in my life. I'm actually about to post a video that will explain everything. I hope you know I wouldn't keep you in the dark intentionally. You mean a lot to me. I've been keeping things under wraps to surprise you and the boys. That's why I've been distant, trying not to spill the beans before the video is out.”

Minho tells her he understands; he'd just wished she had told him sooner. She tells him she'll make it up to him, which puts a big smile on his face. He feels his mood grow increasingly better than before. They continue to discuss various things in his life and what she can share about hers. Minho finally finds himself able to relax with the soothing sound of her voice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chan’s POV

As I turned the doorknob and pulled the door open, I was surprised to see Felix standing on the other side. I greeted him and inquired if he required any assistance. He expressed a desire to have a conversation with me. As I ushered him inside, we settled onto my bed, and I placed my phone nearby. Felix glanced at it before sharing his thoughts with me.

“You must be talking to a girl. Judging by your reaction when you came back into the room.” I felt the tips of my ears burning. I didn't exactly notice until I sat down and felt uncomfortable. I had to get back up and take care of myself before returning. It was embarrassing, to say the least.

“I guess it's something like that. We’re just talking, nothing serious. She just said something that made me feel a different way. I knew she wasn't doing it on purpose, but I wasn't expecting it, you know?” Felix nodded his head, understanding.

“The guys have been worried about you and Minho. It is almost as if you're both talking to the same girl. Your expressions are the same when you get a text. Minho almost massacred Han over taking his phone. Nobody wants to ask because they're afraid they'll get their heads chewed off.”

Felix huffs out a breath. “Chan Hyung, we don't want to be noisy, but we just don't want anything else to come between us again. When you and Minho fight, it's like we’re at war, and the rest of us are hiding because we don't want to get pulled into it.” He comes closer and gives me an unexpected hug. As the most affectionate member of the group, I accept it and hold it tight. We bid our goodbyes, and I crashed back on my bed.

Felix’s words brought me back to my conversation with Minho earlier today.

Flashback

As I emerged from the bathroom, I bumped into Minho, who was heading in. "Did you fix yourself in there, or do you need some assistance?" he teased as I rolled my eyes. "I can take care of myself, thank you very much."

"That's not what you said last time." I was taken aback. What was wrong with him? Without a second thought, I pulled him into the bathroom and shut the door. “Okay, you have my attention. What do you want?” I raise my eyebrows, waiting for him to respond. He snickers. “What? Don't tell me you didn't like it when I helped you last time.”

“YAH! Just get to the point already!” I yell at him, clearly upset. He raises his hands, knowing he went too far on that one. “Sorry, Chan Hyung. I have to tease you occasionally, but I didn't mean to go that far.” Minho takes a moment to collect his thoughts. “I just wanted to tell you that however you've been talking to, I hope they treat you right. You deserve to be loved and cherished. I don’t normally tell you something like that, but I thought you should know that.” I smile back at him and bring him into a short hug. “Thank you, and you deserve the same. I know that none of us is making you that happy. Plus, the whole chasing after Han making death threats was a big giveaway.” Minho smiles softly, “Yeah, she's great. I hope I get to meet her someday.”

End of Flashback

We ended up chatting some more after we left the bathroom. We talked about how much we liked talking about our girls but never mentioning their names. Everything was forgotten after I received a notification that Y/N had posted a new video.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Third Person POV

‘The room she's in is NOT her bedroom.’ Chan thought to himself. It was decorated with neon colors that painted her face. He didn't have long to look around as she started talking.

“Hello Lovelies! I'm sure you've been wondering why I've been absent for some time and why you haven't seen many videos. Well, I'm going to address all of that. First things first, y'all look at this room setup. I love it, plus the neon sign behind me. It's my channel name, and I can change the color of it, too.” She shows the different colors and then turns, clapping her hands excitedly. “Let me try to break this down for you. I got offered a dream job to work as a full-time creator, and with some encouragement from some extraordinary people, I leaped. I no longer work for my former job nor reside in the United States.”

At that comment alone, all eight boys shouted, “WHAT?!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N’s POV

My latest video has caused my phone to explode with notifications. I intentionally kept quiet about my location and employer, leaving the fans to figure it out independently. Meanwhile, the guys are losing it. I'm grateful that I negotiated the contract to allow me to work on my terms.

If I didn't want to come in until after 1 pm, I could do that. I also got to make my days as long as I wanted or as short as I wanted or even do the work from the apartment instead of going in. The possibilities were endless.

Every time I step into the recording room, I am captivated by its ambiance. Although it resembles a gamer's room, it is so much more. After sharing some pictures of my vision for the room, MNet brought those ideas to life. The room is painted in a serene off-white color, and the overall atmosphere is genuinely breathtaking.

As you enter the room, you are immediately drawn to the vibrant glow of the neon lights. The room's centerpiece is a sleek white table with ample storage options. A sophisticated four-monitor display with space for a laptop and peripherals is positioned on the table. The chair, crafted from luxurious leather and suede, beckons you to sit. Triangular lights adorn the wall behind the monitors, casting a soft, ambient glow. Adjacent to the chair, a stylish loveseat couch is decorated with a neon sign that reads Y/C/N.

I could already picture myself taking some great naps on that comfy couch. I wasn't confident they'd include everything, but they went above and beyond, to my surprise. They even added a fridge, microwave, coffee maker, and a small cabinet for snacks and other goodies. With all these amenities, I could almost turn this room into a cozy, tiny home.

A couple of hours later, I received a call to attend a meeting. I made my way to the designated floor and headed toward the conference room where the meeting was scheduled. As I entered, I noticed everyone was already seated, and on the table were flyers adorned with a cupid and heart-shaped arrows. I took the only available seat and prepared for the meeting to begin.

“Sorry to call you on such short notice, but we have an idea for your channel.” I tilt my head to the side. “What would that be?” A lady in the middle replies next.

“A live reaction video.”

(A/N: We’re getting closer to the good part! I'm so happy that others are enjoying this series. I didn't think it would work well, but everyone proved me wrong. If you don't know where I'm going with this idea, you're in for a treat 😉 Love y'all, and have a great day!)

[henrysglock]

[Lumax voice] Turn Around, Look At What You See! In Their Face...

(If you couldn't already tell: I have finally lost all my marbles.)

I'm sure this has occurred to other people by now, but if El's memories leading up to the 4.07 monologue are ripped directly from Brenner's (<- slayful Nat post, required viewing), and she runs in to see One killing Two...then doesn't it stand to reason that that is what Brenner saw when he ran into the Rainbow Room in 1979?

Now before anyone hops in to correct me: There's definitely a version of things where Brenner finds El alone in the rainbow room after the massacre. That's not in question. We all know that happened at some point.

(Regardless of the manner of death...no broken bones or gouged eyes...okay!)

However, as I'm sure we're all aware...these guys are different guys.

(This detail has been beaten into the ground but always bears repeating)

So, what is in question is what close-up Brenner saw when he ran into the Rainbow Room.

Those duplicate memories appear to belong to close-up Brenner:

i.e. not the Brenner who runs in and sees El at the start of 4.08. (This isn't to say that that Brenner doesn't have those memories or similar ones, but he's not the Brenner whose memories are being featured. Begone, thot.)

So, arguably, if El has close-up Brenner's memories...then she should be running in and seeing what he saw, no?

So what did he see? Someone just slightly shorter than him, who walked close enough to warrant a tight shot.

That POV (as has been discussed ad nauseam by many) is far too tall to be any version of El:

But it is about the right height for someone a few inches shorter than Brenner...something like:

So, tl;dr: I want to play a clip for you.

I love choreography and camera work. That's art right there.

However, that video doesn't include the subtitling that accompanies the visuals that link El finding One to Brenner finding El:

Now, it's difficult to compare anything after this point (though not impossible, can't keep a south Wisconsin boy down. I will be using them for comparisons later)...because of course that's when weird, random blood starts appearing:

Hence, the clock is visibly frozen after that point:

This smacks, to me, of the same kind of shit that happened with 004 when the kids were bullying El—Scenes that never actually happened in the real past being spliced into a tape that cuts off and then picks back up like no time had passed/nothing had been spliced in. It makes more sense if you read the post I linked, since the video in that post makes my point clearly.

< TANGENTIALLY RELATED >

The anime nerd in me is tempted to liken this whole deal ^ to JJBA/DIO's time-stopping stand "The World" in...that's right...Stardust Crusaders, wherein DIO pause time for everyone but himself, which I'm certain others have done as well.

Tbqh...I'm still here:

Specifically a reference to The World/DIO vs Star Platium/Jotaro, both of which are time-stopping stands...(Much to think about irt Jotaro/Star Platinum developing time-stopping powers later on in terms of El, sure, but also in terms of "Everything was hard for [One]...He walked in here, and it was like something had changed. He told me he had figured it out.").

[Distant screaming as I'm forcefully prevented from going on a "Stardust Spider-Stardust Crusaders-Dio Brando-Joestar Family-Dio's Bone-Green Baby-Green, Green Grass of Home" tangent in this post...and don't get me started on DIO's regen healing/vampirism from the ancient stone mask...don't get me started on King Crimson and Golden Experience Requiem either...]

Not to mention the DIO reference with One linking this scene to (you guessed it) Edward Munson:

Edward Creel proven once again, but this time it's via goddamn JJBA and Brenner fuckery. (And yes, yes, I know about DIO the band. This ain't about her. Things can have multiple meanings. It was a Choice to associate Henward with DIO and Eddie with DIO. I rest my case.)

< ANYWAY, TANGENTS ASIDE >

As I said earlier, close-up Brenner is shot at a distance baby El could never have achieved. She passes out on the far side of the room, entirely too far away to have been anywhere near close enough for a close-up of Brenner's face, height aside.

However, ignoring the blood fuckery and disappearing gate cracks:

Some-One else has enough energy left to walk towards the doors. All the way over, in fact. So while those close-up shots are 100% out of range for post-gate baby El, they're very much in-range for 3:46 PM One.

Tl;dr: It's entirely possible, if not likely (based on the choreography and camera-work in these scenes) that close-up/angry Brenner was addressing One rather than baby El.

[lola-lightwood]

Time for me to post some Aaron Oliver quotes to pass the time till Book 3

SPOILERS for Never a Hero by Vanessa Len below

"I guess you'd changed your mind, because you told me that if I managed to undo the massacre, I could never meet you. I could never trust you. You said..." I won't remember what you mean to me. Joan heard her own voice crack. "You--you said you'd hate me in this new timeline."

Aaron's expression was hard. “Well your fictional me was right about that.”

STOP HE’S SO SASSY. Let's have a moment of silence for Joan’s heart:

"You gave me a brooch just before I left. You found it in a cupboard at the safe house. A brown bird in a cage."

"What?" Aaron sounded truly shocked now...He was staring at her as if he were seeing her for the first time.

Aaron after Joan mentioned his mother's brooch:

"Why do the Nightingales think that you informed on her?" Joan whispered. "I know you didn't."

"Why do you keep saying that?" Aaron said. He sounded wary, but there was a new vulnerable note in his voice as well.

"You just wouldn't. You wouldn't do that. If anyone had informed on her, it would have been--" She cut herself off as the truth finally clicked. "Your father," she said slowly. In response Aaron made a soft sound.

I WANT AN AUDIO RECORDING OF THAT SOFT SOUND. I love that Joan just knows him. And that's huge for a boy that was never seen. Who is constantly discarded and insulted by those who are supposed to love him. Joan to Aaron:

"Your name is Joan, right?

Joan:

It cut with the same knife jab as when Nick had asked for her name.

Aaron's eyes flickered over her face; he'd caught the emotion. His voice gentled. "It's Joan?"

Joan nodded. "Okay, Joan," he said.

"Okay what?" "Okay, I believe you."

Joan's throat felt thick with tears suddenly. She hadn't expected him to say that. Not so quickly.

"You believe we knew each other?" she said.

"I believe everything you said."

me after this scene:

"I missed you," Joan managed. "In this timeline." It came out with so much emotion that Aaron looked surprised.

"Sorry," Joan said. "I know you don't remember me. We just...We went through a lot of things together that no one else did. And I missed you. A lot."

Joan confessing:

Aaron was silent long enough that Joan could feel herself reddening.

It was too much to tell him--that she missed him when he'd barely met her.

"You're right. I don't know you," he said finally. Joan tried not to feel the blunt ache of it. He didn't remember her, and that was just the truth. "I do know, though," Aaron said, his gray eyes serious, "that if I gave you that brooch, I must have--" He hesitated.

"I must have trusted you very much."

What were you gonna say Aaron? what were you going to say?

Let's speculate - I think he was going to say 'cared' so "I must have cared for you very much."

If we're going crazy and if you're a lovesick fool like me then "I must have loved you very much." But that's not realistic, Lauryn.

a girl can only dream.

and that's all for part 1 💜 thanks for reading my current obsession!

[unhingedwomandiaries]

I am stewing in my own moral quagmire as Vegan Mafia is about to descend from her Thai paradise, probably glowing with the kind of righteousness you can only get from a diet of ethically sourced mangoes and superiority complex. And I'm sitting here, Google deep-diving into lamb slaughter stories like I'm prepping for a particularly dark episode of "Black Mirror."

Let me tell you, that vegan manifesto she recommended? It's still reading a Stephen King novel, except instead of killer clowns, it's killer cognitive dissonance. I had to fact-check this lamb story because, surprise surprise, the author's about as fond of citing sources as I am of eating kale. Turns out, it's true. Some kid in Colorado willingly signed up for this "Fat Lamb Project," which sounds like a subcategory on a fetish website but is actually a real thing that exists in our reality.

Now, I'm contemplating starting a Change.org petition faster than you can say "ethical quandary." Because this Fat Lamb Project? It's about as necessary in modern society as a Blockbuster Video membership. It's a sheep genocide masquerading as education, like if "Schindler's List" was rewritten by the Tyson chicken marketing team.

There's this picture of the boy crying that's more gut-wrenching than the time I tried to eat an entire Ghost Pepper on a dare. The article says it's "tears of love" for his lamb. Right. And I guess the Texas Chainsaw Massacre was just an enthusiastic exploration of alternative meat processing techniques.

You know what this reminds me of? The twisted logic that keeps the death penalty alive in America. It's like we collectively decided, "Hey, you know what would really show those animal abusers? If we... abused them back!" It's the kind of circular reasoning that would make M.C. Escher dizzy.

Now, let's talk about my parents for a second. They weren't exactly running a PETA branch out of our garage, but they had this crazy idea that maybe, just maybe, we shouldn't intentionally traumatize children or animals. When I was six, we went to this carnival that was probably violating more health codes than a gas station sushi bar. There was this miserable-looking animal that was probably questioning its life choices harder than a liberal arts major with $100k in student debt. My dad, in a move straight out of a Hallmark movie, paid to rescue it. We loved that animal like it was the family member who always brings the good dessert to Thanksgiving.

Then there was this time my brother's friend was staying over, and we got the neighbor's call that our beloved pet had been hit by a car. My dad cried harder than I ever thought was humanly possible. He said he would have given up all of his retirement funds just to save that "furry fiend." The vet said there was nothing they could do and no amount of money would save them.

So Vegan Mafia hits me with the "You're so worked up over this sheep and you're not even vegan" line. As if caring about animals is an all-or-nothing deal, like trying to eat just one Pringles or believing only half of a conspiracy theory.

Look, I get it. Murdering animals for pleasure is more messed up than a game of Monopoly that actually finishes. But what am I supposed to do? I tried the vegan thing in college, back when my diet consisted of bran flakes and air, stretched over three weeks like my last paycheck. I was single then, so my eating disorder flew under the radar more easily than a stealth bomber.

The thing is, beans and I have a relationship that's less "magical fruit" and more "guaranteed exorcism." Lentil crisps are fine until they're not, like a Tinder date that starts great and ends with you faking a family emergency. Tofutti ice cream? Amazing. But regular tofu makes me gag faster than the thought of another Fast & Furious sequel.

So what's left? A lifetime sentence of salad? I did that for two years during lockdown, and now the mere sight of a lettuce leaf triggers my fight or flight response. Those Quorn fake chicken bits? They've gone from "not bad" to "weirdly salty disappointment," like every film adaptation of a young adult novel.

With my nut allergy thrown into the mix, a vegan diet for me would be about as sustainable as a sandcastle in a hurricane. I'd probably starve faster than my attention span during a Zoom meeting.

I can be compassionate and still eat meat. It's not a binary choice, like whether to push the button in a thought experiment or whether pineapple belongs on pizza (it doesn't, fight me). I'm tired of vegans pushing this narrative harder than a multi-level marketing scheme on Facebook.

In the end, maybe it's about doing what we can, where we are, with what we have. Sometimes that means eating a chicken sandwich while feeling really, really bad about it. Welcome to the human condition, folks. It's messier than a toddler eating spaghetti and more complicated than explaining why you still have a MySpace account.

[zazzander]

My Tin-Foil Hat Theories about The Sun and The Star

i.e. I read the TSATS preview and I have the biggest confirmation bias you've ever seen

(feat. all my theories that are definitely WRONG but so far no one has guessed right so I'm just like everyone else, thank you)

So the book starts with an encounter in the Underworld somewhere, because Will and Nico are talking to Gorgyra.

"Nico di Angelo, why don't you tell me a story?" [...] "Tell me about the two of you," she said.

So this is a great opening, because either this is the story they're telling or we're going to get some cool flashbacks later about Nico and Will's past. What is interesting is that, from the canon so far, Will and Nico bonded over Octavian’s death. He is, fundamentally, part of their story.

Then we go into the far less bleak opening scene.

Nico & the Apollo cabin are talking about which character in Star Wars is Nico's favourite / who he'd take on a date. I would have guessed Nico would pick someone who is just like Will - but Nico picks Darth Vader. And, sure, maybe that's just to so show how Cool-And-Edgy Nico di Angelo is.  

BUT - it's the opening of the book. What is it has more to it?

Let's think about who Darth Vader is. In the beginning, he was Anakin Skywalker. He was a boy subject to a prophecy that said he was save the galaxy (bring balance to the force), but he was manipulated into joining the dark side. The Emperor (hint-hint, nudge-nudge) kept a tight grip over Anakin. Then there's Order 66 and Anakin slaughtering the younglings. But, in the end, Anakin kills the Emperor and turned back to the light side of the force.

Obviously, our Emperors are already dead. But just think about that plot. A person who was supposed to be a hero, who was manipulated by an Emperor, and eventually tried to massacre a lot of children… Keep that in your head.

Moving on! The voice isn’t a ghost. The dream-giver isn’t dead. That’s why Nico thinks it has to Bob.

Now, Oshiro and Riordan remind us that Jason is very, very dead:

Months earlier, Nico had sensed his friend Jason Grace's death, which had sent him into a tailspin of grief and rage.

So when Nico says this:

Demigods always had vivid-and occasionally prophetic-dreams, but when he slept, the voice became almost unbearable.             Help me, please! it called out. I need you, Nico di Angelo. I need you. Well, so did every ghost who visited him. […] But this voice wasn't dead.

We know that it can’t be Jason. Sure, Nico might be wrong about this too – but I feel like that was would be too much of a red-herring. Nico knows what a ghost feels like. If he says it isn’t a ghost, it isn’t a ghost.

The thing is – there is a death that’s, in a way, unaccounted for. In theory, he should have sensed his death as well. But let’s look at the moment:

He might have even said good riddance. But his heart sank as the comet kept gaining altitude. It disappeared into the storm clouds, and the sky exploded in a dome of fire. [Blood of Olympus]

You guessed it (especially if you know anything about this blog, haha).  

This is the moment Octavian ‘died’ but Nico did not feel him passing. Of course, that doesn’t tell us anything. It’s a dramatic ending, the book will tell us about Octavian’s funeral soon and that everything will be wrapped up nicely.

After the explosion, Piper and Jason – free-falling and unconscious – were plucked out of the sky by giant eagles and brought to safety, but Leo did not reappear. [Blood of Olympus]

Huh? That’s odd. If Octavian’s body was flung up into the sky, shouldn’t it have fallen down to the earth as well? When they were searching for Leo, shouldn’t have found Octavian? Even if it was just pieces of him? Where is the body?

There is a group funeral. But I’m very much inclined to assume Octavian wasn’t a part of it.

Octavian would be remembered for saving Rome by hurling himself into the sky in a fiery ball of death. But it was Leo Valdez who had made the real sacrifice. [Blood of Olympus]

That’s Nico’s opinion, on the matter of his death. Cleary, Nico doesn’t see Octavian as a hero. So when this happens:

Shrouded demigods, both Greek and Roman, were burned at the campfire, and Chiron asked Nico to oversee the burial rites. Nico agreed immediately. He was grateful for the opportunity to honour the dead. [Blood of Olympus]

Why would Nico honour Octavian and not mention it? Say something like “he wasn’t as excited to see off Octavian, but he did it for the Romans”. So…no funeral?

Clearly Nico believes that Octavian is dead. That’s undisputed. But – like – guys. Where is the body? Nico also thought Leo was dead at this time! If Leo got to escape, is it not also possible that Octavian did as well?

Nico talks about Bob a lot in this preview, which makes sense, of course, and I have no doubts we will be seeing Bob in this book! We might even be rescuing him. But there’s a BIG disconnect is the story: Bob is gentle and considerate – the person sending these vision is not.

They are desperate. They are begging for Nico’s help. But they seem to have decided the best way to do this is by hurting him. Threatening him. I can’t see how Bob would ever do that!  

The message comes to Nico through dreams. These aren’t quite prophetic dreams, but instead the kind of dreams that Clovis used to show Nico events and memories. Only this time is a distortion of Nico’s own memories. He sees:

His dead mother

Bianca, dressed as a Hunter of Artemis, at the Lotus Hotel

The bridge at the Battle of Manhattan

Trapped in the jar

His encounter with Cupid

In these dream-memories, the message is repeated: listen. But I want to pick out a few seemingly significant moments. It’s obvious the dream-giver is trying to send Nico a message, but I also get the impression that either they are being intentionally vague or they cannot directly address Nico.

It strikes me that they are reticent to show their true form.

I highly doubt any of the people who show up in the dream are the dream-giver. So we can cross several people off our suspect list. Another assumption/guess of this wild theorising on my part is that the dream-giver is using the people in the dreams to deliver their message. They are speaking through these other characters.

Moment #1

“You have to listen," said Michael Yew, his intense brown eyes brimming with tears. "If you don't, you will share my fate."

I want to pull out this line in particular because it’s almost as if the dream-giver knows the prophecy Nico has been given. Referring to: Or your body and soul no one will ever find. Either a reference to Nico’s death (like Michael’s) or to Octavian’s body and soul being lost.

Sounds like the dream-giver might have prophetic powers…

Moment #2

Then in the dream with the jar, Percy appears. The sight of him comforts Nico, however, that is not the message the dream wants to convey.

Nico reached up to take Percy's hand.

But Percy was now farther away. Even standing with his arms outstretched, Nico couldn't reach the mouth of the jar. […] No, no! His friend was even farther away!

It’s possible the goal of this sequence is to tell Nico that Percy cannot help him. That he shouldn’t help him. That’s a big guess on my part, but if Octavian was the dream-giver, he definitely wouldn’t want Percy Jackson involved on the quest.

This part of the dream ends with a message:

“You have to go," Percy said. "Go where?" he asked, though he dreaded the answer. "We made a mistake," said Percy. "You have to fix it."

The first part makes sense, the dream-giver wants Nico to come help them. Now, what about that “we made a mistake” part. Obviously, this seems to point towards the choice Percy made to not go back for Bob. But here me out, what if Octavian is just being manipulative? What is the ‘mistake’ is that Nico and Percy both chose not to trust Octavian? And that helping Octavian would ‘fix’ it? It’s vague because Octavian knows that Nico will not save him otherwise!

Moment #3

“If this is a god or a demigod or something else," Nico added, “you’re really starting to annoy me.”

Huh. We have a resident annoying demigod…

But this final sequence is so interesting! Like, yes, all the dreams are going over Nico’s past traumas. And that’s super important for the readers to be reminded of what Nico has been through (and Will’s own trauma has been thrown in for good measure!) but this is working double duty.

"Please. Just let me wake up." "You still think this is a dream?" […] Favonius's disembodied laughter floated around him. "Look at you, still thinking this is a dream. You are so cute when you're delusional, Nico di Angelo!"

So, clearly, not a dream. This isn’t just Nico’s PTSD. The dream-giver is very much trying to send him a message.

But also, that line ‘you are so cute when you’re delusional’ – that sounds like someone who’s met Nico before. And they’re teasing him!.

He crossed his arms. "I get it," he said. "I don't need convincing anymore! I'll go to Tartarus!" That's not enough, Nico di Angelo. Look upon me.

The dream-giver speaks through Cupid. They threat him, attack him. But then they change their tact. ‘Cupid’ changes their form.

"Please, Nico. Look at me." The voice had changed. It was warm, like honey, like a late-summer sunset, like the first rush of heat from a campfire. […] Nico turned slowly, and there stood Will Solace, his golden hair lit oh so perfectly in the dreamlike daylight of Salona.

Okay this is the part that where I put on two tin-foil hats. Which you should expect if you’ve read this far. Here me out: Nico once described Octavian as looking like Will (just an unhealthy, paler version). So what if this is doing double duty, again? Nico is likely to listen to Will Solace, his boyfriend, but what if dug out a face close to his own?

“Look at me” / “Look upon me”, is this Octavian saying who he is without actually saying it?

Will shook his head. "It's more than you think. When the time comes, tell me the truth."

So, this line, could go a few different ways. But I think it might actually refer to a future exchange between Will and Nico. It’s not about the dream-giver, but the dream-giver has seen a moment that needs to come to pass in order for them to be helped. More glimpses of the future?

So the dream sequence ends! Wow! It’s intense. But I’m not actually done…

Right after the dream takes place, the Oracle delivers the prophecy. Apparently, Rachel has said this prophecy twelve times. We don’t have a timeline, but that makes it sound like this prophecy has been haunting Nico for a while. This part of the prophecy is the part I’m interested in:

Go forth and find the one who calls out your name, Who suffers and despairs for refusing to remain;

It’s totally possible that this is just a typo on the part of the person who leaked this, because the second line is pretty clunky. However, if we take it at face value, “for refusing to remain”, that… doesn’t sound like Bob.

Bob chose to remain in Tartarus. Maybe he’s changed his mind now, definitely possible. But like… What if Octavian was dragged down into Tartarus, against his will, and he’d be pretty damn unhappy about it!

Anyway – those are my thoughts. The obvious holes in this theory are – well – obvious. How could a demigod survive in Tartarus for over a year? Why would Riordan want to write more Octavian? No idea! I’m not a mind reader! Maybe Oshiro is secretly an Octavian fan!

Anyway, it was mentioned way-back-when that a male character without much exploration would be important in this book. So who knows, maybe it’s Octavian. I for one would think it’d be a very cool plot twist.

Especially if it is a trap!

Especially if we have a call back to the opening and Octavian, like Darth Vader, ends up killing the Big Bad and actually being a hero. Therefore fulfilling that original prophecy that Octavian got from Apollo about being remembered as a saviour.

If you read of all this, thank you! You’re the best!

[delphi333]

i was supposed to write a stage play for class and made it about leopika bc the brain worms got me good 😭

it's the first ever stage play/fanfic I've ever written and its kinda embarrassing, so if you have any constructive criticism please lmk ^^!!

it's a bit angsty so beware

Stay

CHARACTERS:

LEORIO: 21, male, med student and aspiring doctor

KURAPIKA: 19, male, black business suit

SETTING:

(Scene One) Past midnight. Dark city alley

(Scene Two) Living room

Act 1 Scene 1

(KURAPIKA is lying in a dimly lit alley way, sandwiched between a dumpster and some trash bags, grasping at his ribs, taking shallow breaths. It’s past midnight. He dials a number from memory with trembling fingers.)

(CURTAIN CLOSES)

Act 1 Scene 2

(LEORIOs living room, KURAPIKA (bandaged) is lying on the couch, LEORIO is off to the side sitting in a chair reading a book or something. KURAPIKA stirs, LEORIO reacts immediately, rushing to his side. KURAPIKA attempts to sit up and struggles, LEORIO helps him.)

KURAPIKA

Where- (he gasps, grasping at his wound then notices LEORIO) Leorio.

LEORIO

Hey, hey... Easy. (Begins changing the bandages and tending to KURAPIKA)

(KURAPIKA closes his eyes, silence falls over them for a beat)

LEORIO

Yaknow. It’s been 8 months since we last talked and this is what you call me for?

(KURAPIKA grumbles, annoyed)

LEORIO

Honestly, Kurapika, would a little ‘hello, hi, how are you doing’ every once in a while, hurt? I guess it would, since, you never call me unless you’re hurt. (Roughly cleans wound and ties bandage)

KURAPIKA

You know I can’t call the hospital... (winces from pain)

LEORIO

Yeah, and why is that Kurapika? Oh right, you’re out there running with the mafia pretending like you're some kind of- of- (Stammers, not being able to find the words. He sighs) Kurapika, you can’t keep doing this.

KURAPIKA

Fine, next time I’m on the verge of death I’ll call someone else.

LEORIO

You know that’s not what I meant… I’m just...

KURAPIKA

I know. (He sits up)

LEORIO

Do you though? Because every time I call you, you never answer... Do you even care? Not just about me but: Gon and Killua. Those boys they... they need you. I need you, Kurapika. Does that even mean to you...?

(KURAPIKA is silent, he looks away)

LEORIO

I know you’re on this grand quest for revenge against those monsters who wronged you, but you’re not alone. You have us... we could... We could help.

KURAPIKA

Leorio-

LEORIO

(Cutting him off, stern) No. I’m serious. We’re tired of seeing you hurt yourself like this over and over again! (He stands up) I can’t stand watching dig your own grave! (Desperate) Maybe you could just... Let it go.

(The light fades to red gradually as KURAPIKA speaks to represent his anger slowly bubbling up inside.)

KURAPIKA

Leorio, you don’t know what you’re talking about.

LEORIO

I do- You’re giving your life up for one cause! You’re the only member of the kurta clan left, if you die... Then...

KURAPIKA

(stands up abruptly, ignoring the pain) DON’T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT. I’ve given my life up years ago. I’ve known the risks since I set my resolve. I do not fear the consequences of my actions, the only thing I fear is that my-

LEORIO

(Cutting in) ‘rage will fade over time’, yeah, yeah, I know.

KURAPIKA

then you understand why I’m doing this.

LEORIO

(Stone cold) no, I don't- why can't you just give up on this?! do you really think the kurta would've wanted this?!

KURAPIKA

that is ENOUGH. do not dare speak of my clan! choose your next words wisely...

LEORIO

(sighs) I’m sorry... I just don't think this is right- how many have died by your hand? how much more of this, until... until you lose your humanity completely...? (You can hear the strain and hurt in his voice)

KURUPIKA

(Dry chuckle/scoff) ...humanity? really, Leorio...Humanity? (He looks down and sighs deeply for a moment, a joyless and cold smile on his face) the moment I discovered my entire family had been massacred and mutilated ruthlessly, devoid of any mercy, I relinquished my “humanity”. I no longer possess such a privilege. I am unworthy of even considering myself human- I’m nothing more than a beast donning human clothing, a mere vessel brimming solely with rage and malice.

LEORIO

Kurapika- you don’t- you don’t really think that... do you? (He shakes his head, taking Kurapika’s hand)

(KURAPIKA does not meet his eye. LEORIO cups KURAPIKAs face, brushing his hair from his eyes, forcing KURAPIKA to look at him)

LEORIO

Come here (he leads Kurapika to the couch and they sit down. Kurapika complies. Leorio takes Kurapika’s hand and places it on Kurapika’s heart) the rhythm of your heart, the lifeblood coursing through your veins, your every inhale and exhale… this is proof that you’re alive, Kurapika. (He removes Kurapika’s hand from his heart but holds on to it, gently rubbing with his thumbs) your thoughts, your emotions… don’t ever say you’re unworthy of being human (He shakes his head). You may question it, but I know you. I know how smart and- and caring you are... you can be kind of an ass (he chuckles), but I know that’s because of how much you care, Kurapika. You care so so much. You wouldn’t have gone through all this trouble if you didn’t (smiles sadly).

(Lets go of his hand)

Ah, I’m terrible at this... but I hope you get what I mean. (Nervous fidgeting) just- I- we care about you too.

(The words hang in the air for several seconds before KURAPIKA finally speaks up)

KURAPIKA

(apprehensive) How... are they by the way- Gon and Killua?

LEORIO

(laughs) you don’t listen to my voicemails... do you?

KURAPIKA

Sometimes... (lies)

LEORIO

Ouch, well, where do I even start... The last time I called was to tell you Gon had gone and gotten himself mortally wounded- the kid almost died!

(KURAPIKA grimaces)

He's fine now though, Killua got his sister to fix him up and now they're out exploring the world and whatnot.

KURAPIKA

Killua has a sister...?

LEORIO

You've missed quite a lot... oh! Gon finally met his dad! The man’s a good for nothing deadbeat though… I had to give him a mean uppercut. (Leorio clutches his bicep triumphantly)

KURAPIKA

you mean...?

LEORIO

I punched em’.

KURAPIKA

(owlish) you... (chuckles delicately, the air seems lighter now) punched the Ging Freecs, Gon’s father?

LEORIO

(Boastful laugh) Yeah, He didn’t know what hit him!

KURAPIKA

Impressive.

(beat)

KURAPIKA

Leorio.

LEORIO

...Yes?

KURAPIKA

Did I ever tell you... (struggling to articulate his words seemingly for the first time in his life) Did I ever tell you what happened... The day my clan was massacred?

(LEORIO shakes his head, serious)

KURAPIKA

(the light changes to a mellow blue, somber music and stuff plays, it”s peaceful and a little bittersweet.)

I was... foolish. overconfident. We lived in a hidden forest, closed off from the outside world. I got this idea- that If I could make it to the outside world I could find a cure for my friend, (hesitates, lip quivering) Pairo’s, blindness. I-I thought we would explore the world together.

I begged the chief to leave, and studied for weeks until I was ready... (beat, he begins choking back tears) I promised Pairo... I promised him I’d come back, I-

It’s my fault. I-I- should’ve been there- why was I... I’m the only one left, Leorio.

(the lights dim, red spotlight on KURAPIKA as he sobs into LEORIOS arms, and he can’t seem to stop for several beats.)

(KURAPIKA calms down with the help of LEORIO who is soothingly rubbing his back. The color spotlight goes back to normal)

KURAPIKA

(Wiping his tears and coming back to his senses) My apologies... I don’t know what came over me I-

LEORIO

Hey, hey it’s okay. Don’t worry about it (LEORIO removes KURAPIKA’s hands from his face and replaces them with LEORIO’s own. He uses his sleeve to wipe the remaining wetness from KURAPIKA’s face, after: they gaze into each other’s eyes and stay there for a beat. The light flashes red for a second, and a little ding like sound effect plays at the same time before they look away simultaneously.)

(LEORIO clears his throat and stands awkwardly)

LEORIO

I’m gonna... (gestures off stage) Do you want some tea or something?

(KURAPIKA nods awkwardly and silently. He watches LEORIO walk off stage)

(After a beat, KURAPIKA’s phone rings and he picks up)

KURAPIKA

...Yes. Yes, understood.

(KURAPIKA gets up from the couch, he looks sad for a moment but straightens up. He grabs his jacket from the chair near the couch and begins walking off stage in the opposite direction as LEORIO. he stops, looks back, and hesitates for a moment but ultimately makes the decision to leave.

The lights dim and come back up after a beat to show an empty stage, LEORIO walks on with a smile on his face staring down at the two coffee mugs hes carrying.)

LEORIO

I didn't know what kind you wanted, so I kinda jus- (He looks up and notices the empty room and stops.)

(Lights dim, curtains close.)

END.

thank you so so much for reading till the end!!! :D I hope you enjoyed it even a little bit lol

again if you have any constructive criticism and suggestions of what I can do better please lmk :)))

[gardenofshadcws]

Whale Weekly Day 40

Chapter 61: Stubb Kills a Whale

That chapter title- spoilers, dude

I see we’re making up for the long gap in emails with interest today

It’s been such a long time since we’ve heard Queequeg talk I forgot how oof it was. But as we established last chapter, he’s not wrong about whales following their food source

These boys are eepy

Until the whale shows up!

Ishmael bb whales are not fish

“keep cool, keep cool- cucumbers is the word” the phrase “cool as a cucumber” is clearly older than I thought it was. The more you know.

Can we stop objectifying the three indigenous characters with all this wild screaming

It’s been so long since we’ve had some action though I’m so happy other than that :’)

It’s moments like this where you can tell why this book is so influential.

I have literally never seen the word frenzied spelled “phrensied”

RIP Mr Whale, that’s not a great way to go. But I guess our heroes did what they set out to do or at least part of it so yay?

Chapter 62: The Dart

Time for Ishmael to mansplain everything we just read again.

“They managed to kill the whale but they’re doing it WRONG wheh”

“Now, I care not who maintains the contrary, but all this is both foolish and unnecessary” Ishmael who died and made you the arbiter of whaling”

He’s such a weird little dude

Chapter 63: The Crotch

I generally prefer not to have two harpoons reposing there but sure, Ishmael.

No one knows whales like you do we get it Ishmael

Chapter 64: Stubb's Dinner

Ahab’s being a sad boy because we killed the wrong whale :’(

Whale steaks. Stubb and Nemo should hang out.

I get that whales are huge and there’s probably not enough space on the boat but dragging it behind them seems like not the best idea and the sharks devouring the carcass is exactly why

The descriptions of Fleece. It just keeps happening and I just keep sighing.

You cna’t just… talk to sharks and expect them to listen to you. What are you, Aquaman?

Oh GOD Fleece’s dialect. Tugs collar.

Also seriously why are we preaching Christianity to sharks As unreadably awful as the dialect is, I have to appreciate Fleece’s sass. “What’s that go to do with the steak?” “Go to bed very soon” this is how you talk to people trying to convert you A+

Stubb is the worst

Chapter 65: The Whale as a Dish

“one must needs go a little into the history and philosophy of it” Must needs we?

Ishmael and Nemo should write a cookbook

I miss Nemo, guys.

That’s a weird way to spell Inuit

“how bland and creamy that is” gross

“Cannibals? Who is not a cannibal?” He makes a good point and he’s not wrong but man Ishmael’s philosophy is bizarre. Again. Weird little dude.

Chapter 66: The Shark Massacre

“We don’t start cutting up a whale immediately because it takes too long and it’s hard so instead we lose our catch to the sharks. This makes sense.”

“the whole round sea was one huge cheese and the sharks the maggots in it” What. And also gross.

Poor sharks :( They don’t deserve this

“My husband almost lost his hand so FUCK SHARKS.”

[nerdy-alto]

Curse you, AC/DC, Mormonism, and/or Laziness

(In honor of Twitter's continued death throes, I figured why not repost one of the favorite long-form things I've written.)

I listened to a lot of music growing up. As the oldest kid, most of what I listened to in my very early childhood was my parent’s music; Linda Ronstadt, Doobie Brothers, Barry Manilow and various classical composers. It was a mark of my growing independence when I got my parents cast-off hi fi systems and was able to find my own radio station to listen to. And boy, did I listen to it. When we ran out of Star Wars topics to cover during recess we talked music. My big favorites were Duran Duran, or at least any band that wore make-up and had keyboards. Beyond the obvious and well-documented prepubescent attraction to non-masculine dudes, what totally attracted me to certain songs was their utter incomprehensability.

Telegram force and ready I knew this was a big mistake There’s a fine line drawing my senses together And I think it’s about to break If I listen close I can hear them singers oh-oh-oh Voices in your body coming through on the radio-oh-oh The union of the snake is on the climb Moving up it’s gonna race it’s gonna break through the borderline

Seriously, wtf does this even mean? But it didn’t matter to me, because this wasn’t your ordinary, Barry Manilow type song about some girl named Mandy, or dead showgirls (1) – this was deep. And maybe I didn’t understand it now, but when I got older – maybe mature enough to have a boyfriend, or wear makeup, or have a boyfriend who wore makeup it would all become clear to me, and I would listen to these songs with a profound understanding. Yes, I’d surely cogitate, this is the Union of the Snake breaking through borderlines. Good thing I got that telegram force!  

I can hear your cries of protest now – But surely you weren’t an idiot, nerdycellist, why did you just accept that kind of nonsense? To which I reply, Why thank you, no, I was of course a very smart child (2) but those crucial years of cerebral cortex development were marred by Mormonism. (3) Among Mormonism’s many fine doctrines and articles and rules and crap is the concept of “the milk before the meat”. Both the History and Theology of Mormonism is sometimes less than salubrious (mountain meadows massacre), and frequently insanely wacky (Adam-God doctrine). Since Mormonism’s also big on converting people, they try and keep the crazy shit from the new recruits until they’re far enough entrenched in the cult that they’re willing to suspend disbelief. The official party-line is the analogy that a baby must first learn to drink milk before it can eat meat – too much too soon and you’ll puke, I guess. So I figured that I can’t smile without you was like how Jesus Loved You and the reflex being a lonely child waiting by the door was the idea that my husband would have lots of other wives with me in heaven.

 So I had a certain comfort level with not understanding stuff – hell, it may have been a superiority complex – and I listened to a lot of radio. Also kiddies, in those days there was no internet to look up song lyrics, so if you didn’t have the album, you didn’t have the liner notes which only sometimes had lyrics printing in them. I was quite willing to settle for my ear’s first guess when it came to songs.

 The last piece of the puzzle here is my laziness; this has always been the bane of my existence. I learned to read very early and with that came a certain amount of knowledge in other school-related pursuits.(4) One of those was spelling, which is a terrible subject for english speakers and learners – it doesn’t make any sense! They only way you can learn how to spell is to be exposed frequently to the word. The other is just by rote repetition. My 5th grade teacher, Mr. Coombs, a favorite mostly because he tried to keep up with important pop cultural references (5), had developed a great strategy for lazy smarty-pantses like myself, who would normally get incomplete marks on take-home spelling homework that I deemed pointless busywork – he gave us 10 minutes on Monday morning to review our list of 20 words, then gave us a pre-test. You only had to do your spelling homework on the words that you missed and then you had the real test on Friday. I hardly ever missed any words on the pre-test, and so was able to skip the bogus busywork. I also pretty much aced the Friday tests. (6)

 So let us combine these points into a final scenario: A Friday spelling test was always a nice way for me to usher in the weekend. I had aced the monday pre-test and not had to waste any time copying words out or using them in sentences. Mr. Coombs would always use them in a sentence anyway when calling out the test, which was good in this case, because I had been zoning out when he first pronounced the second to last word, but he used a song lyric to illustrate it! Rad!

 I put my pencil to paper…

 “… dirty deeds and their Dunderchief.”

 huh.

 I knitted my eyebrows. That was one of those words, like wah-lah, that I had only heard but never seen written down. And that was from a part of the song that I wouldn’t understand until I was emotionally prepared to deal with the consequences of the full knowledge of that song. I was just going to have to use the context clues of the lyrics to figure out how to spell it. Dirty deeds and their Dunderchief… like an Indian Chief, only because they were Dirty deeds (and not Indian Deeds), they had a Dunderchief. You know, like a dunderhead. Yes! Now “i” before “e”…

 This made sense to me. Or at least enough that I scribbled it out in enough time to catch the last word on the quiz. It is to his credit that when Robbie Elmer passed back my corrected spelling test that he didn’t circle the word and write “stupid” or “what is this supposed to mean, idiot?”, but the big red (X) next to #19 was enough to shame me into blushing furiously while considering not turning in the paper at all so Mr. Coombs would never know that I mistook “Cheap” for a made up concept of a Leader of Dirty People.

Also, please note that any spelling mistakes in this essay were left in deliberately, as an excercise for the reader.

*******************************

Footnotes:

1. Holy crap, do I love this song. Also Manilow, but had to be closeted about that back in the day.

2. So smart in fact that I was used as a lab rat for some UofU grad students for their dissertation of kids who can pronounce all the words in Tolstoy but don’t really understand it, or doing stuff with mealworms or something. All I know is I got out of class for like an hour on the days I didn’t get out for orchestra practice! Score!

3. Man, is there anything that can’t be blamed on Mormons?

4. Manifested itself in Kindergarten, when I zoned out during reading because I was already done with Dick and Jane, and then zoned back in during math with the shock that I couldn’t make a 5.

5. He also brought his guitar sometimes and taught us Ghost Riders In The Sky – or was it Ghost Riders in Disguise? Also he demonstrated important scientific concepts by taking us out in his cessna two at a time to do barrel rolls and shit.

6. OK, I think I’m done bragging about my own clerverness now. But I will leave you with one final piece of evidence to my own brilliance – I was so smart I repeated 8th grade!

[knight-of-the-graces]

Hello there! I’m back with More Thoughts, this time on Book Two, since… some people liked the first one, apparently?

Anyway. I’m bullet-pointing it this time. And also it’s definitely more rambly, because I have a migraine and don’t feel like cleaning it up.

Again I say, the phrase “Odysseus’ well-beloved son” is causing me emotional damage. Like, we barely know anything about Odysseus yet, but we know he loves his boy. I don’t know if that’s everyone’s interpretation of the phrase, but I think it’s adorable so that’s mine.

Got another ‘looking like a god’ here, nice.

…do all the men have long hair??? Is that what’s being implied here? If so, fair enough.

THEY HAVE AN OFFICIAL TALKING STICK? WHAT. WHY DO I LOVE THAT.

Telemachus crying in the middle of a meeting. He’s just a sad lad who wants his dad and home back, please. Be nice to him.

ANTINOUS I WILL THROW HANDS WITH YOU. THE BOY IS SAD YOU JERK.

And Penelope was betrayed? They know about her schemes?

“Out of my house! Stop eating all my food!” Me to guests the moment they arrive. Telemachus and Penelope have such patience for not attempting to massacre the suitors yet-- three years of constant loud, partying houseguests would have gotten them murdered far earlier, within like three minutes of arrival.

“You will die here and nobody will care!” — my boy. Lad. I mean, you aren’t wrong, but still, what a thing to say at a public meeting.

Zeus literally just went “Sounds fun” and decided to gouge their eyes out with eagles. …at least he’s kind of on Telemachus’ side here? That’s… better than the alternative. I think.

Halitheres points at the eagles ~obviously from Zeus~ and goes “Bad Things Are Coming!” and Eurymachus goes “Just birds, shut up old man.” …do eagles usually rip people’s faces off in Ithaca??? Is this normal to you people???

Telemachus: “Shut up I’m going to see if I can find my dad. Don’t mess with my mom while I’m going.”

“Kings should always be cruel” UH WHAT MENTOR. (Ohhhh he was being metaphorical— still a funny quote, though!)

Leocrites: “Even if Odysseus came back we’d kill him.” (Odysseus, favoured warrior of Athena, a few books later: Wanna bet?)

Telemachus: “Athena the suitors are being mean.” Athena: “They’re stupid and you’re smart. They don’t stand a chance.”

Antinous: “Hey come drink with us!” Telemachus: “With the guys trying to marry my mom and stealing all my inheritance? Uh, no thank you. Also didn’t I kick you out. Like five minutes ago. Please leave. Immediately."

THE WINE IS GODLIKE NOW?

Eurycleia: “Don’t go, you’ll die like your father did!” Telemachus: “It’s a god’s plan, I’m sure I’ll be fine.” Eurycleia, who definitely knew that Odysseus was blessed by Athena: why would that convince me this is a good idea

Telemachus: “Don’t tell my mom where I’m going until she notices I’m gone or it’s been twelve days. She’ll cry.” You don’t expect her to notice immediately??? You live in the same house! Also you don’t expect her to immediately think the worst and that the suitors got fed up and killed you? This is not a solid plan!

…how many favours is Athena calling in for this family? What do you have over Zephyr, the west wind? But I mean she wants this family to succeed so by herself she’s going to make sure they do, so... more power to you, Athena?

Also. First wine-dark sea. I guess I’m keeping track of that now, too? Fair enough, I guess, I’m keeping track of a bunch of other stuff.

I have a migraine. I'm going to read more, and continue with my findings.

I’m reading through The Odyssey properly for the first time since we read it in school, and I have… some thoughts. A lot of thoughts, actually. Here they are.

Firstly, Athena. Just… Athena. What are you up to.

The fact that she —disguised as Mentes but obviously knowing who Telemachus is— immediately comments on how tall Telemachus is after questioning if he’s really Odysseus’ son…

Odysseus really is a short man, isn’t he. Even his patron goddess is making fun of him for it. Disguised, but still. Do you think Mentes ever has to pay for the comments Athena makes while pretending to be him?

(Plus Telemachus immediately gets philosophical in his own defense, which… excellent. Excellent. Good job.)

Also Athena’s solution to all of Telemachus’ problems is literally just “Hey, why don’t you take a ship and go find your dad? He’ll murder all these guys for you, trust me, I know the guy. From, uh, childhood.” And Telemachus is like “Hm… okay, I’ll think about it.” Definitely living up to ‘goddess of war’, aren’t you?

And when she leaves, she just… turns into a bird and off she goes. Athena. What. You are in a crowded hall full of people. How is Telemachus the only one who noticed this. Divine magic and the power of alcohol, probably, but… what.

(Also why is everyone except the goddess being referred to as ‘godlike’? Like, we’ve got Nestor, then Telemachus, now Penelope. Seriously, how many of them were ‘godlike’, except for the goddess herself?)

Also Telemachus is definitely being a bit of a broody teenager. Like, come on, if a song is making your mom sad you just change the song. I get that you’re the man of the house, but still. If my brother said something like that to my mom she might actually kill him. And she’s not the formerly Spartan queen of Ithaca.

(And now the bard is godlike too. What is up with you guys, describing people as godlike. Are you trying to offend the actual Greek gods, ’cause we all know how that’ll end for you. You were literally talking about how offending the gods goes like, ten minutes ago. Why are you all like this.)

Then when he’s basically saying ‘get out of my house’ Antinous tells him “Zeus will never give you the throne” and Telemachus’ response is basically “Yes he will”. Boy… I mean kinda, but wow.

Also, Eurymachus, you do not get to call someone ‘friend’ when you’re trying to marry his mom, living in his house against his will, and basically stealing his stuff. Excuse me. What. And if you were paying enough attention to notice ‘Mentes’ how didn’t you notice the whole ‘turns into a bird and flies off’ thing?

The sheer audacity of literally everyone I’ve met so far is definitely something. I’m remembering why this book killed me to read in school now, with the sheer Audacity and Chaos so far.

And Telemachus is immediately called ‘Odysseus’ well-beloved son’ in book two— all I can think of is him introducing himself to people as ‘father of dear Telemachus’ in The Iliad—

(Also don’t try to read The Odyssey through online libraries; the formatting is so messed up it’s actually painful. Alas, I will suffer.)

[bitimdrake]

How would I get into teen titans but like everything? I want the fab fave AND the Kori, Raven, BB group but idk where to start

Yes okay so!!! Short answer: New Teen Titans if you can. Also Titans vol 1 (1999). Maybe Teen Titans: Year One if you want an easy intro. And a full guide here:

Guide to (Teen) Titans Comics

I'm going to list things here chronologically, but you do not have to read everything, or read it in order if you don't want to. (I've still only read a few issues here and there from the original run, myself. It's the 90s series that got me into the fab five.)

I recommend starting at the beginning, but jumping ahead to the next section if you're having trouble with an era.

Overview:

The original, Pre-Crisis team, beginning with the fab five

The New Teen Titans team of the 80s, which is the blueprint for the famous Kory/Raven/Vic/etc team

The fab five return to prominence in the 90s Titans, blending in the NTT team

The "Teen Titans" name becomes more generic in the 2000s, but the original generation remains as the blend of fab five and NTT

The Original Team

This era is very dated and often corny, but it's also the inception of the team. This is the original era of the fab five, who will be joined by many others, including briefly Beast Boy.

The Brave and the Bold vol 1 #54 (first meeting of the original trio: Dick, Garth, Wally)

The Brave and the Bold vol 1 #60 (addition of Donna)

optional modern prequel: Teen Titans: Year One - an easy introduction and light read, though with its own interpretation of the characters

Teen Titans vol 1 (1966-1978) - the original run of 53 issues. If you want just a few issues, I recommend: #1, #4 (Roy!), #22 (Donna's origins), and #53 (final issue, and reveal of an early mission that explains why Roy is a founder)

The Teen Titans break up by the end of the run, splitting into their own lives. But they won't all be apart for long:

New Teen Titans

The origin of the second team you named, with plenty of guest spots from the original Titans that aren't leads.

Now in the 80s, we leave the corny antics behind for a more mature tone with a lot of focus on civilian life and character arcs. This era is dated for different reasons, most notably some stuff that has not aged well.

It's flawed, but I still adore this series. And, 40 years later, it's not hard to argue this remains the seminal Titans run to this day.

...It also changed names or reset ordering multiple times, and had a bunch of tie-in miniseries, so the list of how to read is going to be kinda long. I swear it's worth it.

DC Comics Presents #26 (optional) - a preview of the team before the book launched

New Teen Titans vol 1 (1980) #1-9 - the real start of the team

Best of DC #18 (optional)

New Teen Titans vol 1 #10-20

Tales of the New Teen Titans (1982) #1-4 - tie-in miniseries

New Teen Titans vol 1 #21-25 / Annual #1 / #26-34 / Annual #2 / #35-37

crossover into Batman and the Outsiders #5

New Teen Titans vol 1 #38-40

series changed names to Tales of the Teen Titans #41-44 / Annual #3 / #45-58

(NOTE: TotTT technically continues after #58, but it's all reprints)

numbering restarts in New Teen Titans vol 2 (1984) #1-12 / Annual #1

New Teen Titans vol 2 #13-14 - tie-ins for Crisis on Infinite Earths

New Teen Titans vol 2 #15-23 / Annual #2

Teen Titans Spotlight (1986) - another miniseries, this one spotlighting various characters. Only the first two issues are really referenced in the main run.

New Teen Titans vol 2 #24-39 / Annual #3 / #40-49 / Annual #4

series changed names to New Titans #50-55 / Annual #5 / #56-59

New Titans vol 2 #60-61 - part of Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying

New Titans vol 2 #62-70 / Annual #6

I recommend stopping here. The series gets very bad after this. (And what they do to my dearest boy, light of my life, apple of my eye...) But, respecting the completionist urge:

New Titans #71-79 / Annual #7 / #80-86

New Titans #87-92- crossover with Deathstroke and Team Titans

New Titans Annual #8

Titans Sell-Out Special (1992) - oneshot

New Titans #93-99 / Annual #9 / #100-114

Optionally, get continuity for Starfire in the third story of Showcase ‘94 #11

The run continues here with an almost entirely new team, led by Roy, that is far less known. Most of the original New Titans return for the last few issues.

New Titans #0 - tie-in to Zero Hour

New Titans #115-122 / Annual #11 / #123-130

Something Completely Different

The 90s tried out an entirely new Teen Titans with entirely new characters in Teen Titans vol 2 (1996). I've heard decent things about it, though never read it.

If you're just sticking with established characters, the fab five takes the spotlight for a single arc in Teen Titans vol 2 #12-16.

90s Titans

Here we reach comics that feel more modern. This iteration returns the fab five to precedence, but blends in the New Titans line-up and a few new faces, to turn them into a cohesive generation.

Like I said, this run is what made me fall in love with the fab five. imo, it starts very strong, though quality starts to slip later on.

JLA/Titans #1-3 - the miniseries that kickstarts the new run

Titans vol 1 (1999) #1-2

Titans Secret Files and Origins #1 (1999)

Titans vol 1 #3-19 / Annual #1 / #20

Titans Secret Files and Origins #2 (2000)

Titans vol 1 #21-50

Titans/Young Justice: Graduation Day #1-3 - the team ends as it began, with a crossover miniseries

Messy Generations

So at the same time as Titans was Young Justice (1998), which focused on the new generation of kid heroes. (Happy to make another post for how to read YJ if you like.) But when the TT cartoon came out in 2003, DC decided to split up both teams--in the above miniseries--to launch a new run that would hopefully capture fans of the show.

At this point, we split into two pieces. Some of the old Titans join with some of Young Justice in Teen Titans vol 3 (2003). Meanwhile other former Titans (or, well, Dick and Roy, and later Kory) start up Outsiders vol 3 (2003).

Which (or both, or neither) you consider to carry the spirit of the Titans is up to you. I love Outsiders for Dick and Roy, but the team overall is not very Titans, and I lost interest after Roy leaves. Meanwhile TTv3 carries the name and more characters, but is of consistently meh quality, and eventually shifts to just the younger generation.

These series crossover plenty, so I'll list them together. Pick the bits you're interested in.

Teen Titans/Outsiders: Secret Files and Origins #1 (2003) - inception of both teams

Outsiders vol 3 (2003) #1-3

Teen Titans vol 3 (2003) #1-6 (in which they massacre my boy, light of my life, apple of my eye, again)

Outsiders vol 3 #4-7

Teen Titans vol 3 #1/2 - that's issue "one half"

Teen Titans vol 3 #7-12

Outsiders vol 3 #8-15

Teen Titans vol 3 #13-16 / Teen Titans/Legion Special / Teen Titans vol 3 #17-20

Outsiders vol 3 #16-19

Teen Titans vol 3 #21-23

Outsiders vol 3 #20-23

Insiders crossover: Teen Titans vol 3 #24 / Outsiders vol 3 #24 / Teen Titans vol 3 #25 / Outsiders vol 3 #25

The Return of Donna Troy #1-4 - miniseries

Teen Titans/Outsiders: Secret Files and Origins #2 (2005)

optional: Outsiders #26-27, where the unrelated original team of Outsiders return

Outsiders vol 3 #28

Teen Titans vol 3 #26-28

Infinite Crisis begins and bleeds into everything:

Outsiders vol 3 #29-30

Teen Titans vol 3 #29-31

Outsiders vol 3 #31-33

Teen Titans vol 3 #32

Robin #146-147

Teen Titans vol 3 Annual #1 / #33

Here we jump ahead with One Year Later.

Roy and Kory leave the Outsiders and I no longer consider this run even Titans-adjacent, so I'll stop including it here. It'll last until issue #49, where it changed to a whole new Batman-led team.

Meanwhile any older characters leave the Teen Titans, and it is purely the younger generation after that:

Teen Titans vol 3 #34-47

Teen Titans vol 3 #48-49 - tie-ins to Amazons Attack, which is not good

Blue Beetle vol 7 (2006) #18

Teen Titans vol 3 #50-54

The Titans / Teen Titans Split

DC made a stupid problem for themselves. People still love the older generation of Titans and want them back. But the younger generation has now also taken the same name. What to do?

Well you see, uh. The Teen Titans and the Titans are now two completely different teams. Just go with it. The new run of Titans had a great line-up, blending the OGs and NTT, but didn't last long and ultimately accomplished very little. Again, listing the two runs together, as they intersect a lot.

Titans East Special #1 - prelude to the Titans reforming

Titans vol 2 (2008) #1-4

optional mini DC Special: Cyborg #1-6

Teen Titans vol 3 #55-61

Titans vol 2 #5-10 (they keep massacring my boy!!!!)

Teen Titans vol 3 #62-68

optional Terror Titans #1-6 - miniseries related to Teen Titans

Titans vol 2 #11

Teen Titans vol 3 #69

Death Trap crossover (my boy.....): Teen Titans vol 3 Annual #2 / Titans vol 2 #12 / Vigilante vol 3 (2009) #5 / Teen Titans vol 3 #70 / Titans vol 2 #13 / Vigilante vol 3 #6

Teen Titans vol 3 #71

Titans vol 2 #14

Teen Titans vol 3 #72-74

Titans vol 2 #15-18

Teen Titans vol 3 #75-76

Titans vol 2 #19-20

Blackest Night tie-ins: Titans vol 2 #21-22 / Blackest Night: Titans #1-3 / Teen Titans vol 3 #77-78

Titans vol 2 #23 - This issue fills me with anger. If you have not read all the stuff before this, it is very important to me that you know everything in it about Roy is wrong and bad.

Teen Titans vol 3 #79-87

The Teen Titans get to continue on as normal:

Teen Titans vol 3 #88-91

Red Robin #20

Teen Titans vol 3 #92-100

However, once again the older generation is thrown apart. From here on out, Titans weirdly becomes about a team of mercenaries led by Deathstroke. Why this was not just made a new run I have no idea. It's also not good fyi. It kicks off in Titans: Villains for Hire Special, then ends the Titans run with #24-38.

Reboots

After that, the universe rebooted for the New 52.

The New 52 is bad. The New 52 brought us Teen Titans vol 4 and 5 (both still about the Tim/Cassie/Bart/etc generation). Do not read these runs. And if you even think about bringing up New 52 Roy or Kory I will stomp you with my hooves.

Then we reboot again for Rebirth, and my expertise ends. I know the original Titans finally return from the war with Titans vol 3 (2016). I cannot weigh in yet if it's good. I know there is also a new Teen Titans vol 6 (2016) run, with most of the cartoon's characters, led nonsensically by Damian Wayne, which I suspect is not great but cannot confirm yet.

And then nowadays we have uh. Teen Titans Academy, I think? Look, at this point, I am as lost as you, but pretty sure all the worthwhile stuff is already listed above.

I hope this is helpful! Feel free to ask any follow ups :)

[levitatingbiscuits]

… that take about padme’s reaction to the massacre really makes me realize how much my own circumstances influence my reading of her, because to me “go super placating, start giving him what he wants in hopes that you can sway him with some doomed to failure tit-for-tat” is an extremely familiar reaction to the realization that the person you have to rely on is capable of extreme violence. like, not a *good* reaction, i guess, but a really familiar one.

Every reaction in a situation like that is a survival instinct. It doesn't matter if it's "good" or "bad." If it keeps you safe, that's all that matters. I would never judge a real person for how they react in a real-life scary situation.

There are a lot of ways to read Padme, and I think every reading has value to it. One thing that's frustrating about her is that it's so damn hard to figure out what is going on inside her head, particularly when it comes to Anakin. We're told she's madly in love with him, but what led her there? Why would she fall in love with a child killer in the first place??

Padme WAS trapped in a bad situation in that scene. She's being targeted by assassins, and the only person on the planet she can rely on to protect her is an awkward teenage boy who has repeatedly made inappropriate (and maybe even illegal, considering she's a senator and he's a jedi) advances towards her that she keeps having to turn down. I think a lot of women would assume she felt uncomfortable around him, given how unsettling or even frightening unwanted advances are irl. And then he comes back, obviously distraught, with his dead mom, then freaks out and starts screaming and crying about how he just killed a bunch of Tuskens, including women and children, and that he feels no remorse, only hatred.

I think a lot of people would do what Padme did in that situation: offer sympathy, soothe him, try to calm him down so he won't act violently anymore. But most people, upon hearing a guy confess to being a dangerous mass murderer, would also get away from him ASAP and report him to the authorities.

Padme doesn't do that.

Maybe that's understandable AT FIRST, because she needs to deal with all the shit going down on Geonosis. Maybe the kiss is even understandable, because she thinks they're about to die and she cares about him/thinks he's hot, so why not give in to the attraction and make out?

But it's everything after that makes me think Padme might have been into Anakin's violence. I don't think it's that she feels protected by him, because he's honestly a pretty incompetent bodyguard in this movie and she can defend herself just fine. I think she might have felt powerful knowing that she had a hot, dangerous Jedi wrapped around her finger. I think she liked that he broke his vows, both because she saw it as romantic and because she thought he did it all for her. (He did not, but she willfully ignored that, a pattern that would repeat right up until he choked her out. I really think she thought the "you're breaking my heart" line would stop him, because she assumed until the end that she held more sway over him than she actually did.)

Maybe she had a bit of "I can fix him" going on too, but we also have to keep in mind that Padme is a very ambitious person who likes having power, and Anakin is very attractive to those types of people, because he's strong and he's easily led. She's also no stranger to violence, and I think she might be a bit of an adrenaline junkie; a rich and powerful senator wouldn't put herself in peril that often unless a part of her enjoyed the excitement. And Anakin is the ultimate adrenaline rush; they're breaking all the rules together, he's powerful, and he's dangerous. But no one actually likes being around dangerous people unless you believe that they're not a danger to you, so I think Padme convinced herself that she was the one holding his leash.

It never would have worked if they had to spend an extended amount of time together, but the war prolonged the fantasy for her. He was the Hero With No Fear! Sure, he was violent, but he was using it for the good of the Republic! And she's the one he came home to, so there's no way he was a threat to her when he had other ways to slake his bloodthirst. Maybe she convinced herself that he was only ever that violent in defense of those he loves, and he loved her more than anyone else.

By RotS, she'd wrapped herself in layer after layer of self-delusion, ignoring every single one of Anakin's red flags so that he wouldn't shatter her romantic fantasy. She couldn't admit that she'd fucked up royally, because then she'd have to admit that what she did was wrong and her whole life (and probably her perception of herself as a good person) would fall down around her ears. And I think she probably downplayed the massacre because it was Tuskens, not humans, and the Naboo humans have a history of tension with the Gungans so she's already primed to see other species as less-than. Sure, she swallowed her pride and begged them for help, but there's gotta be a reason that was the last resort.

That's why she was unable to accept that Anakin had killed children, even though she's the only one who knows about his history of child murder. That's why she was willing to have children with a child murderer, and never once thought he would be a threat to them. After all, those Tuskens were Outer Rim nobodies hated by the humans on their planet; they didn't count. Those kids he killed weren't Core-world human kids like their babies would be. They weren't kids at all, to her. But she knew and cared about Ahsoka, so hearing that Anakin killed a bunch of Jedi children just a few years younger than her was too much for her to process, and she went into denial until Obi-Wan told her there was footage of him doing it. (She never saw the Tusken massacre; with her it was very much out of sight, out of mind. She might have even convinced herself he was exaggerating.)

I don't want to victim blame Padme for being in a bad relationship. However, I will blame her for letting mass murder slide. She should have never let Anakin get away with it, and as a legislator it is literally her job to prevent and punish shit like that.

Padme is fascinating, honestly. I want to study her under a microscope bc WHAT THE FUCK WAS SHE THINKING?? LUCAS I MUST KNOW

[talesofsonicasura]

MKR!Sun Wukong with a Persona User s/o

MKR stands for Monkey King Reborn is you guys are curious. Ooh boy is this particular Sun Wukong quite a character! More positive than the wild week I'm having. Couldn't resist taking a spin at writing him. If you don't know Persona, don't worry. I'll fill in the blanks when they come up! Also this is a slow burn too. Can be read as preferred gender or gender neutral.

You met Sun Wukong at a small quarry of sorts. Well, more like he found you.

How you got to 14th century China from 2022, you had no clue. Just working on a sketch in your room then bam! Here you were.

Luckily you had your Persona, Raoul, to keep you company. Who knew that the spirit of your rebellious soul was a demonic version of the famous phantom thief and alias to Arsene Lupin?

Anyway, you were minding your own business when some demons decided to ruin that. Clearly thought you were easy pickings since you were alone and seemingly unarmed.

Nope. Called upon Raoul and magically changed into your battle attire which comes with a collapsible crossbow plus your favorite wire knife.

Guess Sun Wukong came across the fight, well, one sided massacre would be more accurate. None of your opponents could land a single blow while you and Raoul weave around and assaulted them in a blade dance.

What made it worse was that you wrecked their pride by merrily singing in the middle of the fight. A spectacular show as once you finished the fight the Monkey King began clapping.

Of course you had to grab the attention of China's most infamous trickster gods, DURING his legendary journey. He must've snuck away from his Shifu, Tripitaka.

Sun Wukong wanted you to join his fellow pilgrims in hopes of making the long quest more bearable. I.E alleviate the(his) boredom.

You obviously said no. You've read Journey To The West and didn't want to risk the chance of altering it.

The Monkey King clearly doesn't take no for an answer. Why? Cause he literally chased after you. Had to ride on poor Raoul's back just to outpace Sun Wukong.

Still got caught as the Monkey King dragged you over to his group albeit covered in filth like mud, leaves, and fruit jam. Didn't exactly go quietly as you pulled every trick you could.

Of course, you couldn't lie about the chase being fun. A thrill seeker at heart and what's a better thrill than getting chased by Sun Wukong across multiple forests?

Every member of the JTTW crew were here: Zhu Bajie, Sha Wujing, Ao Lie the White Dragon Horse and Tripitaka. There was also someone you didn't recognize, a little fruit child called Qi Energy or Fruity for short.

The Tang Monk did scold Sun Wukong and offered to take you to the nearest village. Instead, you decided to join them under the inkling that they could lead you back home. (And avoid the Monkey King running off to chase you again.)

A response that made the Monkey King very happy. Although none of you remembered to tell them about Raoul. Guess you were caught up in the moment.

So Zhu Bajie understandably freaked out when he saw the large demon thief floating there with you in his lap. The Persona wanted to join in on your reading. A normal routine between the two of you.

You ended up explaining to them about Raoul thanks to that. Didn't stop some of the questions from Sha Wujing or Tripitaka. Or banter between him and Zhu Bajie.

Nor Fruity sitting atop his hat. At least the sweet fruit baby asks permission first unlike Sun Wukong. The Monkey King was a different story.

Completely unpredictable around Raoul. From asking all sorts of question, get into random discussions that would sometimes devolve into an argument or just sit on his shoulder like it's a brand new perch.

Overall being part of the group isn't so bad. Everyone was friendly albeit a bit whacky or strange but nice. Only if the Monkey King didn't lay on your chest and look through your stuff.

And that's it! I recently watched Monkey King Reborn. It was good but the pacing is a bit awkward along with minor stuff. Also this version of Sun Wukong is so chaotic that I won't be surprised if he did something like this. Guess any animated Monkey King from a movie with Reborn in the title would be this nutty, full of snark and have so much gremlin energy.

I've been having some nasty writer's block as I literally rewrote this with a different role for the reader. Hopefully it goes away soon.

Until next time folks, I'll see you later. BTW, this is Raoul and your battle attire plus mask which is based on Hei from Darker Than Black.

[themetalvirus]

even the fat characters we DO get are still skinnified a lot of the time. just.

and don't even get me started on how they massacred my boy rotor

why do they feel pressured to shrink their bellies to make them look buffer. have you SEEN highland games dudes. you can be fat and visibly buff at the same time

the only reason why they dont do this to big (or zomom i guess) is because "fat" is one of their top defining characteristics. big is literally named "big" and i love him very much but giving your only mainline games fat character (aside from MAYBE bark) an intellectual disability when no other characters have visible developmental disabilities really shows how they feel about both developmental disability and fatness.

fatness used to be one of eggman's defining traits as well, and the fatphobia present in a lot of early and even some recent material directed at him shows how that's supposed to be received. the derogatory nickname sonic gave him is fucking EGG MAN. i guess having one of your only fat characters be the villain is now a bad look, so they keep slimming him down for some reason and it sucks. you made him fat, everybody likes him fat, at least have the backbone to keep him fat.

or give us a fat hero character whose theme song doesn't have lazy in the title and who doesn't have a questionable intellectual disability because fatness is considered stupid and intellectually disabled people are considered to be a shorthand for what "stupid" means.

again, i would say rotor and maybe bark (though he is sometimes portrayed with the top heavy "buff" thing they keep giving their fat characters which is annoying) are the only not blatantly fatphobic fat characters i've seen, but i don't know how rotor/boomer is treated in the actual cartoons or the majority of early archie so i may be wrong. i do really like rotor's depiction in the ian flynn era preboot archie i've read though

anyway the sonic series needs to work on its fatphobia and i cannot believe zomom is still a thing

big fan (sarcasm) of how all the deadly six have gotten fleshed out more/made more threatening in idw but zomom, the walking fat joke, is still basically the same. im so tired

I KNOW. WHY THE FUCK DID HE JUST STAY A FAT JOKE. "ha ha hes fat and eats a lot so hes faaaat" fuck you man. eggman is a villain, big is "lazy", zomom is a walking fat joke, and. that's all you get. thanks

[sk3tch404]

Reader who loves to play horror games with Yandere idv boys 💖 ( Puppet Combo Edition )

Note: Omg the ask that @aticklessclock sent me totally motivated me to finish this early! Tysm <3

Not a requested post!

Content warnings: Yandere/obessive and toxic behaviors, profanity, violent games, and mentions of gore

Tell me if I missed anything!

( Characters: Joseph, Antonio and Wu Chang )

Joseph [ The Night Ripper ]

He'd be intrigued, the idea of playing something purely just to instill fear into yourself sounded idiotic and confusing. But since it was you who asked, he'd give it a try.

Joseph: Alright, and what are we supposed to do here?

Reader: When you see a black car pass by, hide, because that's the killers' car. And if you see someone with a duck mask and a long black coat with a black hat, run

Joseph: Oh alright, I think I remember what a car is...

Reader: Okay, go into the crack house

Joseph: Crack house?

Reader: You know, it's in the name, crack cocaine, the drug, and house, put it together and that's where people go have a good time

Joseph: *walks into crack house* Maybe I should go to a crack house with you sometime then :)

Reader: No, Joseph you don't wanna do that, crack cocaine isnt a good thing- OH MY FUCK JOSEPH

Joseph: WHAT- OH FUCK ITS DUCK MASK

Reader: DONT JUST STAND THERE, RUN- HES STABBING YOU RIGHT NOW

Joseph: HOW DO I RUN

Reader: SHIFT ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE KEYBOARD

Joseph: I CANT SEE ANYTHING ITS BLURRY

Reader: YOU HAVE TO CLICK REALLY FUCKIN FAST, YOUR ADRENALINE IS TOO HIGH

Joseph: *INTESNSE CLICKING NOISES*

Reader: *MC gets stabbed in the eye on screen* Well fuck, we're dead :p

Joseph: WHY WOULD THEY SHOW SUCH A THING

Reader: DONT ACT LIKE THERE WEREN'T PUBLIC EXECUTIONS OR SOME SHIT IN THE 1700s OR 1600s- I DONT REALLY KNOW

Joseph: I NEVER WENT TO SEE THOSE

Reader: WELL DID YOU MISS OUT?

Joseph: NO

He feels the need to check up on you every so often, deceased or not, he doesnt want you dying of a heart attack :( Joseph tries his best not to scare you too much in matches, so he usually let's you leave through dungeon if you've been good. Doesn't even step on you the rare couple of times he actually does down you :D

Antonio [ The Glass Staircase ]

Why would you play a game just to be scared? Although he has a literal demon inside of him, it doesnt feel as bad as people believe it is. Yeah it may whisper it wants to strangle him at times, but he assures himself that everything will be alright if it just keeps playing the violin that's gripped to his shoulder.

Antonio: Good girls take their medicine? What do we have, turberculosis? Cough away I guess

Reader: Nah, I actually have no idea, oh, and sorry you have to sit on the floor. You're kind of super tall and stuff

Antonio: *blushes and chuckles a bit* It's fine

Reader: Alright let's read these notes

*reads all available notes*

Reader: Jesus, what is this man trippin on?

Antonio: I dont know what he is, "trippin" on, but he is "trippin" on that terrible piano

Reader: LMFAO THAT WAS GOOD

Antonio: *Figets with his hair with a satisfied smile* Heh, I was only speaking the truth

Reader: Anyways, let's go through the doors, we have some gardening to do

Antonio: Of course

*door animation pauses and knocks back*

Antonio and reader: Wait what-

*THE LOUD SHIT THAT SCARED THE LIVING FUCK OUT OF ME*

*SCREAMS*

*Antonios hair suddenly wraps around Reader tightly*

*EVEN MORE SCREAMING*

It's become his thing to pull you in closer with his hair when he becomes hostile. Even in matches, he'll bleed out every survivor and hold you close seconds after. Fictional fear has no impact on what you feel during these moments, you wonder if you should keep playing these kinds of games with the charming violinist...

Wu Chang [ Nun Massacre ]

Fan would find it idiotic at first, you already have enough on your plate with tall hunters beating you to death almost everyday, why would you want to be even more frightened? As much as he is stubborn, later on as he got to know you and technology, he found it wasn't as bad as he thought it to be. Xie was confused and a bit concerned in the beginning, but seeing it please you and seeing how you wanted to share those experiences with him made his undead heart beat a bit slower.

Reader: Throw the rock at the glass window in the door

Fan: Wouldn't that alert the nun?

Xie: I'm sure it'll be fine as long as we hide for a bit

Reader: Yeah, just jump in really quickly and hide in the corner of the room

Fan: Alright, whatever you say Reader...

*Destroys window*

Reader: Okay go!

Fan: *continues to spacebar repeatedly* I'm trying to go over but it won't let me

Reader: Sometimes it might be like that, other people had problems like this

Xie: Fan, you're pressing it too much

Fan: IM TRYING OKAY

Reader: YOURE TAKING TOO LONG GO HIDE IN A BEDROOM

Fan: WHERE IS THE BEDROOM AGAIN

Reader: DOWN THE HALL OR SOMETHING

Fan: WHICH HALL

Xie: THE ONE DOWN THE STAIRS

Fan: FOR FUCKS SAKE *RUNS DOWN THE STAIRS*

Xie: TOO MANY STAIRS-

*gets stuck in barbed wire pit*

Reader: FAN WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

Fan: IT WENT TOO FAST READER, SORRY IM NOT A GOD

Reader: GOD WHY DOES SHE MAKE THOSE KINDS OF SOUNDS

Xie: OF COURSE SHES GONNA MAKE WEIRD SOUNDS, SHES IN AGONY???

Reader: WELL IT SOUNDS LIKE SHES HAVING A GOOD TIME IN THAT PIT HUH

Fan: LMFAOOO NO

*Nun peaks up on screen*

*collective concerned silence*

Reader: Uh, hey girrrrrrlllll, how are you doin? Please dont kill us lol

*nun starts to stab the shit out of the MC*

Xie, Fan and Reader: JESUS FUCK-

Fan feels the need to protect you even more now. He'll try to beat survivors down out of your line of sight to cut your heart some slack. Although he doesn't have that much of a problem chairing you, the fear ridden look on your face is so much more different than those of the cherished times you three share... Fan is much more careful of his image for you, he knows he supposed to be the angry/mean one, but he doesn't want you to run away from him or be too scared to confess your feelings to him...

Xie also feels the same, he'll be more gentle from then on, but doesn't stop playing his part in the actual death game. The tall, fair man only chairs you with a gentle grip and downs you with playful tripping. He also tries to look more reserved while in your witness, but when he hunts other survivors, let's just say that everyone always begs you post match to escort them for the rest of the day... You want to confront the boys about it, but with everything you hear, they could do anything dangerous to you if they were to ever lose the wrong screw. Despite what you may think about the situation, dont be too naive to believe they're both too Innocent. Even your most loved ones could be the bigger threat.