#''omg why lol ugly'' :///

[damian-lil-babybat]

'Dead Poets Society' gang

Headcanon that these four drop poetry and literature quotes on their conversations unprompted.

Jason 'English-major-I-only-visit-the-manor-for-the-library' Todd-Wayne

Damian 'I-master-liberal-arts-unlike-you-plebs-PHD-holder' al Ghul-Wayne

Cassandra 'I-learn-English-thru-Shakespeare-as-god-intended' Cain-Wayne

Duke 'only-title-holder-of-vigilante-poet-and-will-cuss-you-just-as-poetically' Thomas-(future) Wayne

[biitchcakes]

SPIDER-WOMAN TROPES .

The Sacrifice of Hair / The Important Haircut .

To save her life and Lindsay's, Jessica must tear at own hair. Hair that we have watched grow over the last couple of years as she discovers who she is, learns what it's like to be human. What it's like to be free from Hydra's control. It goes from its natural blonde into its since signature black. It's been a part of her journey, and her literally ripping it apart here comes just two issues before her death ⸺⸺ and subsequent REBIRTH.

( the video that got me thinking about it )

[rockoblanco]

i hate anyone who tries to haggle with me tbh

[lockedtowers]

seeing ppl in the tags super used to the j/apperwock(y) in b/urton's alice and then getting mad at how 'ugly' the s/yfy version is is absolutely hilarious to me bc the s/yfy version is literally just lifted from the original illustrations

[scarameownya]

tags ran out so im continuing it here JAJSJSDJJD

on a second thought i should have tagged this as nsfw before the tags ran out 💀

#GRANDMA LOST HER SON AND DAUGHTER IN LAW... STOP IT STOP I DONT WANNA GET EMOTIONAL JAIL JAIL FOR YOU

#"grandma filled the roles so well even if his heart bled, not too much blood spilled out" thats its im stealing your brain this is actually insane writing and wording IM IN LOVE

#NO NO NOT HIM REGRETTING NOT BEING TO HELP HER AS A CHILD NOBONONOON

#AND HER DEATH HELLO ?!?!?! ok and ik u didnt intended for it to be but id like to think him brushing off people's remarks

#are somewhat in a way him grieving cause hes knows all of it and in a way because he knows his child self could not reciprocate all of it

#DO NOT TORTURE ME MORE WITH HIM READING HIS PARENTS LETTER AND FUCKING CRYING RIV I WILL KILL YOU HELLO IM ?!?@?@?@?#?@#*×*

#ALSO AUAGAHAHAHA I LOVE THEIR BANTER SO MUCH OMFGGGGGGGG THE FACT THAT HE HAS SOMEONE TO SHARE AND CALL A HOME WITH AUGAHSHSHD

#als his thought process during the smut scene... :[[ poor lil brain boy.. he's literally so happy at how you are so perfect for him

#and just how whole you made him feel... wahhh :"[[[[ riv should get her device taken away signing a petition rn //lh

#THE LETTER AT THE END ?!?!?! OMFG HAITHAM YOU CHEESY ASS //POS ALL POS HES JUST SO ?!?!?! SO ?!?@@??!

#seeing haitham this gentle is insane omfg riv i love love LOVE your version of him so much-- lowkey got me blushing at it like-- STOP

#ALL IN ALL HELLO ?!?!?! THIS IS INCREDIBLE IM LITERALLY SO HOOKED IN EVERY WORDS AND THEYRE ALL SO WELL WRITTEN

#eating your brain i need that nutrients PLS I JUST ?!?!?! I JUST LOVE THIS SO MUCH OMFG UAHSUAHDHSDHDHFHDH

#what if i die for just liking this too much-- IM SORRY BUT JUST ?!?!? EVERYTHING FLOW SO SMOOTHLY AND AND ITS SO NATURAL AND I JUST LOVE SEEING IT PLAYED OUT FROM START TO FINISH

#whens the wedding this should be at 28 ill be waiting //lh

like a lotus in spring, you are mine to bloom — ft. alhaitham

synopsis: at twenty one, you’re just a girl he meets as he trains for the role of scribe. at twenty four, you’ve become everything he loves in this world. after three years of knowing you and nearly two and a half decades of life, alhaitham finally realizes why his father left letters for his mother instead of just saying the words outloud

❤︎ word count: 7.7k words — we find ourselves here in the same old situation again, i see LOL pls give it a chance though!! plssss

❤︎ before you read: female reader ; 18+ content — not suitable for minors ; not proof read ; strangers to friends to lovers ; mutual pining but not at the same time for a bit (he falls first <3) ; jealous alhaitham ; hinted drunk sex ; getting together + love confessions ; alhaitham character story spoilers + references to his grandmother and parents ; semi-clothed unprotected sex ; no prep ; some nipple play ; creampie ; the cringiest love letter at the end LOL

❤︎ comments: guys every time i write alhaitham it’s so corny and cheesy but . he is my fav genshin guy of all time i deserve to be allowed this okay

TWENTY ONE. 

You’re still a student when you first meet Alhaitham. (Not a student for much longer, but a student all the same. With a little luck on your side and good graces from your darshan’s sage on your thesis, you’re expected to graduate in just a few short months.)

You don’t have the best first meet. In fact, your impression of Alhaitham starts off entirely on the wrong foot. 

He’s newly graduated, just freshly rewarded a degree for his (impressive) efforts, and is now well on his way to training for the role of scribe—you heard he was offered far more prestigious roles, but for some reason, a genius like him settled for a role like that. You try not to judge. People have their passions, after all, and if that’s what he wants to do, well…who are you to make comments? (But amongst a school that only houses the brilliant, Alhaitham is, very undoubtedly, a standout. It’s hard to stand out in a school filled with only the best minds, but he manages to do so with ease. Sometimes, you’re almost jealous. You can’t help but wonder why he doesn’t aim a little higher than he does.)

He trains in the house of Daena. His first order of training is to fact-check ordinance drafts using books so he can better get the hang of drafting them himself in the future. You’re also in the House of Daena to find the last book for your thesis—after weeks of begging, you’re finally granted access to the restricted section to find it. 

And you do. Except your palm meets warm skin instead of the cold leather cover of a book. You pause, glancing up as sharp, teal eyes meet your gaze, staring at you expectantly as if you should be the one letting go. But you need this book. It’s the final research element to finish your thesis, and you’d like to be done with it. End of story. No matter how devastatingly handsome the man (because he is handsome, you’ll admit at least that much), you will not be handing over the last, final key to your academic freedom.

“Um, excuse me,” you say politely, “I was kind of reaching for that.”

“As was I,” he says, staring at you with a bored, almost uncaring expression. Your eyes narrow. “Now, if you’d please kindly take your hand off of mine.”

“I believe it should be you taking your hand off of mine,” you correct, huffing as you add stubbornly, “I reached for it first.”

He blinks at you, bland and a little irritated, as he points out, “Your hand is on top of mine, which means I reached the book first.”

Well.

Maybe if you were feeling particularly patient, you’d be inclined to admit that, yes, he does have a point. But stubbornness, combined with pure exhaustion, has you at your wit's end, and if you have to play the role of a difficult student, then so be it. You’re pretty sure you need it more, and you’re probably a much speedier reader anyway. You’ll have it done and returned in no time.

This guy, on the other hand…he doesn’t look too bright. You’re not willing to take your chances and let him walk off with a book that you might never see again.

“I started reaching for it first,” you scowl, “you just sped up your hand once you saw me. I should get it.”

“Unlikely,” he scoffs, “I didn’t even see you. Although,” he gives you a once over with his eyes, making you feel uncomfortably seen under his judging gaze, “I suppose you were a bit easy to miss.”

You gape at him. “Just what does that mean?”

“It means,” he smirks, taking the opportunity to grab the book as you stand in shock, “that I got here first.”

“Hey!” You glare at him, seeing red for a moment. What a perfectly good waste of a perfectly handsome face—and such an awful attitude coupled with his ridiculously smug grin couldn’t make for a worse combination. But, before you can even say anything, the book is being pressed back into your hands.

“You seem like you want it more than I do, though,” he hums, “I suppose I can let you have it. It’s a bit outdated for this ordinance, anyway.” With that, he saunters off. You push down the soft flutter in your heart for a moment and force yourself to hope you’ll never see him again. (Faintly, you hope your wishes don’t come true—but you refuse to admit it to yourself.)

Unfortunately (and fortunately at the same time) for you, you do see him again. Many, many times, in fact. When he works in the House of Daena as often as he does, and you like to spend all your free time there to study if you can, you’re both bound to run into each other often. Very often. 

And sometimes, it’s quite literally running into him. 

“Oof,” you hiss, staggering backward and hitting your head against the bookshelf behind you as you bump into a sturdy figure. You drop the books in your hand, blinking before reaching to rub your read as you start to apologize. “Sorry, I didn’t see you—oh. It’s you.”

“It’s me,” he says, looking mildly entertained. Alhaitham is everywhere. Everywhere. You can’t escape him if you try, and now, you can’t even avoid him in your own personal space. “Although, I think I should be the one apologizing this time. I was too busy reading to pay attention. This section is usually empty at this time.”

“How often are you in here to know what section is empty at what time?” You raise a brow. 

“Too often to be considered good for my well-being,” he says dryly, sighing in misery. You crack a smile at that. Oddly enough, so does he—you don’t think you’ve ever heard someone say they’ve seen Alhaitham smile. It must be a rare sight that only you, and perhaps a very few others, can say they’ve witnessed. “I was just about to take a break to buy a coffee—I’ll bring one back for you, too, to make up for the cranial damage I’ve supplied.”

“A most wonderful idea,” you perk up instantly, “I love when I get to drain the wallet of a man.”

He gives you an amused look at that. And somehow, bringing you a coffee along with his own during his breaks is a habit that seems to stick for a long, long while after that. 

────────────────────────

TWENTY TWO.

Alhaitham’s feelings are hurt. Not a lot of words tend to do that—he’s been blessed with thick skin and an unbothered attitude to a fault, sometimes. But something about today, for some odd reason, hurts his feelings. 

Your words to the waiter who took your order keep ringing in his head. 

Oh goodness, no, we are definitely not dating!

Most people mistake you and Alhaitham for a pair of lovers rather than a pair of friends. It’s just the way things go when a man and a woman are seen together for extended periods of time over and over. It doesn’t help that Alhaitham doesn’t really have any friends. He had one before you, but…well, things are complicated now. Far too complicated to think about it more than necessary. He has you, and that’s enough. But the matter still stands that most people tend to assume that something blossoms between the two of you that isn’t just friendly. 

He was starting to think it was true himself, too. He knows it’s true from his end, at least. But you say those words with such a sure, definitive tone that it almost sounds like you’re offended by the notion of being seen as his girlfriend. And sure, he would be disappointed—he’s no liar—if you didn’t feel romantically for him, but he’d understand. It’s not something you can help. But you brush off the idea like it’s an anomaly of sorts in the universe for someone like you and someone like Alhaitham to be a couple. It hurts his feelings. More than it should. 

(He knows deep down, in the depths of his heart, that you don’t mean it that way. You never would. But irrationality is but one of many feelings that bloom when it comes to romance.)

Alhaitham knows from a young age he’s different than most kids his age. This fact doesn’t change as he gets older. He’s brighter than most of his peers—which is certainly saying something because Sumeru is a nation filled with enough sharp minds, it’s as though brilliance were the average trait. People don’t typically like Alhaitham (which is fine by him, he doesn’t like most of them, either. They mostly don’t meet his standards). The kids don’t play with him in the parks that Grandmother would leave him at while she shopped around at the market, and they don’t sit with him on his one and only day at the Akademiya when he is but an elementary scholar. It never bothered him. He preferred reading under the trees and self-learning at home, anyway. When he’s older and enrolled in the Akademiya full-time, they don’t prefer to partner with him for projects for any other reason than simply being guaranteed a good grade, and they don’t spare him a glance when they all converse in groups outside of class. He never cared for freeloaders, anyway—he only trusts himself for projects, and he is at the Akademiya to learn, not make friends. 

It’s not until he meets Kaveh does he consider the idea that friendships are meaningful enough to spare some effort into. But the end result of that only solidifies that he is best when in solitude. 

But then he meets you. Some part of Alhaitham knows very early on that you would never be just a friend to him. If it was friendship that he craved, he would have looked for it elsewhere before running into you. Something about you from the very beginning makes him yearn for things much deeper than that. Things that remind him of his parents. 

Friendship is fleeting. People at the Akademiya go their separate ways and meet new people. They fall out and have arguments. They grow up and grow apart and become different. But love blooms like the Kalpalata lotuses on a vine, timeless as time itself. It starts and never ends, one root stemming into more and more vines until they never stop growing.

Alhaitham has fallen in love with you. Logic tells him it’s only a recent development, but his heart has known this outcome would be brought about for a long, long time. And, in all truthfulness, your words have hurt his feelings. 

And yet, he still loves you through it. He thinks that even if you crushed his feelings with a cold, indifferent smile, he would still love you through it. 

A hand waves in front of his face, pulling him from his thoughts as you take a sip from your coffee. Puspa Cafe is not as busy at this hour, most people are in the middle of a work day, but Alhaitham is allowed to pick his lunch hour, and yours happens to be earlier than most.

“Sorry, I just have to ask—are…are you upset?” you ask gently, making him pause. 

Yes.

“No,” he says simply, “why would I be?”

“You seem upset.”

“I’m not.”

“You were fine up until…I don’t know, a few minutes ago. Is something on your mind?”

You know him so well, he thinks. How could you not see how perfect the two of you are together?

“I’m simply concerned about your sugar intake is all,” he eyes the cold, iced drink in your hands with more syrups than he deems necessary. You always have a penchant for choosing the sweetest drink off the menu, and Alhaitham will never understand how your teeth don’t rot.

“Well, that’s very funny,” you roll your eyes, “because I was just thinking about how low on vitamin D you must be—do you ever leave your study to see the sun?”

He spares you a soft chuckle at that, shaking his head before taking a sip of his own coffee—hot and black and with two spoons of sugar. Simple, like how he prefers. You make a face at his drink as he sets it down. 

“Have you ever thought about what you look for in a partner?” he asks suddenly, making you blink in shock for a moment. He flinches at his own forwardness just a tad. 

“Umm, I suppose a little here and there…why do you ask?”

“No reason,” he shrugs, “just curious what your type was, that’s all. You’re painfully single, so I figured your taste was rather distinct.”

“Rude,” you scoff, rolling your eyes enough that he thinks it’s safe to assume you’re not suspicious. “Are you here just to poke fun at my choices today?”

Alhaitham should not be asking you this. Not when the answer so clearly is going to hurt his already very bruised feelings. Of course, your type won’t be him. And, of course, he is going to mourn your answer the second you give it, which is his own fault considering he’s the one who asked. (He has to wonder, for a moment, if this constitutes as an undiscovered hidden kink of his and whether or not he really just gets off on some unnecessary pain. Why else would he willingly subject himself to this?)

But, he’s caught off guard when you shrug and simply say, “I suppose someone who’s intelligent. I’d appreciate some good discussions. And…and maybe someone who’s kind, y’know? I would be rather sad if they were mean,” you pretend to sniffle dramatically.

“That’s…that’s it?” He tilts his head in equal parts shock and equal parts confusion. 

“What did you expect me to look for in a partner?” You snort, “A three-story mansion? A rock-solid, chiseled chest to lay on?” 

“Well, no,” he rolls his eyes, “Maybe something a bit less generic to narrow down your pool, I suppose, but if that’s your bar, so be it. There are far too many men who are intelligent and kind, you know.”

“Yes, but none of them show me any signs of interest,” you pout, “I must be undesirable or something.”

I desire you, he wants to say. He can’t quite find the courage to get the words out, though—and as if the universe has it completely out for him, the same waiter from earlier who is responsible for asking you the question that kills Alhaitham’s mood for the day comes back with the bill. And something else, too. 

Something that kills his mood for the week. 

His jaw clenches a tad when you flush at the note scribbled on a napkin for you, eyeing your flustered reaction while you read over the words: I get off at eight if you’d like to find me. You stare for a moment before you murmur, “Well, look at that. A sign of interest—it must be the Dendro Archon’s divine power.”

“The Divine have no say over who you fall for,” he insists.

“You don’t know that,” you hum thoughtfully, “The God of Wisdom knows her people better than anyone else, you know. I’d like to think she knows when love is bound for two people.”

You fold the napkin carefully and keep it in your pocket, and Alhaitham fishes out his mora pouch with stiff fingers. He leaves a very shoddy tip on the table before he exits after you. 

────────────────────────

TWENTY THREE.

You wake up in his bed. 

It’s a foggy memory, but you know you fucked Alhaitham after more sips of wine than you can count and one flirty comment too many. It happened in a blur last night, and you can’t say you’re surprised that it finally happened at all. Alhaitham is a man just like any other, and mingling pleasure with friendship is a normal thing to do. Falling under him on his mattress is not something you never had daydreams of—but the truth of the matter is that your daydreams don’t just stop with the bed.

They end with a toothbrush beside his in the bathroom. A mug next to his in the kitchen. Your shoes kicked off along with his at the entrance of a home. Your laughter and his bouncing off of the walls. A ring, maybe. One on your hand and one on his. 

In your imagination, it starts with pleasure, but it ends with love.

Falling in love with Alhaitham is a peaceful ordeal. He’s dependable and inherently kind. Strong and impressively capable. Intelligent and objectively handsome. You’d bring him home to your mother and father, and they’d thank Lord Kusanali for smiling down upon their humble little family and their darling little daughter by sending such a divine man your way. 

You don’t think you can pinpoint when exactly it is you started to love this boy, but you know loving him became as simple as breathing. You never thought about it. Never learned to do it. Never questioned it, even. You inhale the scent of his spicy, woody cologne and exhale the warm breath of your affections stored in your lungs. He lives somewhere nestled so deep in your ribcage that you think you’d have to crack each of them one after the other before you could pry him out.

You love Alhaitham. You think you know everything there is to know about loving him. You think you’d do it right—better than anyone else. 

He only drinks his coffee when it’s piping hot, and his wine can never be one degree less than iced. He has dry hands, but he hates the feeling of lotion. He doesn’t like raw onions but he doesn’t mind them cooked. When the sun is in his eyes, he’s in a foul mood, but he enjoys napping under the warm rays, much like a cat. He laughs surprisingly boyishly from his belly if you manage to deliver a dry yet clever enough joke, and he clears his throat and gets a bit shy once he’s realized he’s let it out. He twirls his pen in his hand when he’s bored, and he only uses the kind with gel ink because they write smoother. 

You love Alhaitham. For you, it’s always been him. 

When you wake up to his bare, warm body next to yours, breathing peacefully with an arm thrown over your waist, you can’t help but selfishly wish he’d stay asleep all day. Just for a day. Just for the amount of time you get in between the sun’s departure and the moon’s arrival. Just so you can watch him exist in this moment where it’s you, him, and the liminal space between friends and lovers. Just so you can admire how beautiful he is without worrying about his eyes opening and the inevitable conversation of what you’re both doing is brought up. 

People (like Kaveh, or Dehya, or Tighnari, or…anyone) tend to insist that Alhaitham loves you. It’s obvious, they say, just as obvious as your love for him. You never believe it. It’s not because he’s bad at love or because you’re bad for him. You think he’d make a good lover—contrary to popular belief, you don’t think Alhaitham is uninterested in intimacy or affection. And you think you’d make a good girlfriend—unlike other people, you understand him and like what you see. 

But he doesn’t love you. That much is a fact you’ve long accepted. It’s not because you’re bad for him or because he’s incapable of feeling—but rather, it’s just that bitter, soul-crushing reality that you can’t help who you love and who you don’t. Alhaitham doesn’t love you—it’s not something either of you can really change. Because if he did, he’d waste no time. He’d get to the heart of the matter and quit dancing around the issue. 

It’s just the kind of guy that he is. 

So, because this is your first and likely last time seeing him this way, you slowly reach over and brush a few strands of messy, unruly bedhead from his forehead before cupping his cheek in your hand. His skin is soft and warm under your palm, much more delicate to the touch than you anticipated from how chiseled his features are. Your thumb gently brushes along the slant of his cheekbone, eyes softening at how he lets out a puff of air as he sleeps. 

“Morning,” he says hoarsely, eyes still closed and making you jolt in surprise. He lets out a quiet, sleepy chuckle that would make you melt if not for the way your heart still pounds from the shock. 

“You’re awake?”

“Mhm,” he hums, nodding before finally cracking an eye open. “For a while now.”

“Why pretend to sleep then, you creep?” You scoff, glaring at him as he sits up slightly and glances at you with a teasing glint in his eyes. No part of him seems to be shocked about you being nude in his bed. Or the fact that you’re even in his bed at all, nude or not. 

“You’re the creep if we’re being technical here. It’s undoubtedly a little on the creepy side to study someone with such careful touches while they sleep.”

“That’s your main concern…?” You stare at him—and for lack of better words, you’re dumbfounded. You and Alhaitham have been friends for two years and counting. You’ve never once crossed the line or even toed at it to step beyond the border of anything more. And, yet, here you are. In his bed. Completely nude. He was lying there and felt your delicate touch along his skin, felt you act like a lover and not a friend on a quiet, intimate morning when in fact, you both should be shamefully avoiding each other’s eyes in a moment that’s anything but intimate as you leave. 

He makes no move to ask you to leave or even question why you’re still here. You make no move to really leave—it’s not like you want to. 

“What should my main concern be, then?” he looks at you expectantly, like he really doesn’t know.

“Oh, I don’t know, Alhaitham—shouldn’t you be a little more panicked by the idea that I’ve trespassed into your bed and seen you…bare?”

“Well, to be fair, you didn’t trespass. I let you in—and also, to be fair, I saw the same for you, too, so we’re even.”

“You’re oddly calm about this,” you hiss. “This doesn’t bother you even a little? That things might change?”

He looks at you funny—like you’ve just told him a joke that hardly makes sense but makes him want to laugh anyway. “You’re too brilliant to be this dense,” he murmurs. “Maybe I’m quite open to the idea of change.”

You take offense to the first part enough to completely miss the second part of his statement. 

“I am not dense,” you huff, “I’m incredibly bright. I’ll have to send you my thesis sometime.”

“No need,” he responds through a low hum. He pulls you closer, flush against his chest. Bare skin on skin. Intimate skin, at that. You shiver for a moment as his warm, large hand wanders lower and lower before stopping just at the small of your back, rubbing slow circles at the dimple where your spine ends. “I’ve read it plenty of times. It was very insightful.”

“Well, in that case, you should know not to insult my intelligence—”

“If you don’t notice my affection for you, I’m afraid you might not be as observant as I initially thought.”

You pause. Your heart flutters. Then it feels like it decays. Your eyes widen a fraction. Then they feel like they need to be squeezed shut for fear of tears. You feel your fingers twitch to reach for him. And yet they stiffen in distrust. 

“I don’t know what you’re saying,” you whisper. Because you don’t.

You really fucking don’t. You thought you knew. His feelings and how to read them. His thoughts and how his mind works. Every little quirk of his and how he approaches every damn thing in this world. You thought you knew.

Now you feel like you don’t know much of anything, especially not what he means right in this moment. 

“You don’t?” He whispers, hand moving to grab your wrist and bring it to his cheek so his lips can brush along the delicate lines of your palm prints. (If he was brave, he’d tell you that his destiny and yours are written in those very lines. Maybe someday he’ll build the courage.)

“No,” you say through a shaky whisper. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I love you. Just like you love me.” He says it so plainly, that you almost feel like it's a dry, cruel joke. (You know him a little better than that, though, to know he’d never.)

“How do you know I love you?” you challenge just because it’s all you have left to cling to—easy, instant denial. 

He laughs. Soft. Quiet. Melodic. So fucking sweet. “I’m too smart to act dense,” Alhaitham teases. And then, for a moment, his eyes soften enough that they almost look vulnerable. “And only someone who loves me could deal with my… peculiarities. Though, I will admit, it took me quite a while to reach this conclusion. You made me work for it.”

“If you’ve known all along—” 

“Not all along,” he corrects, “like I said, it took me a while to come to this conclusion. But once I did, it was rather obvious.”

You scowl with a finger prodding into his chest, eyes misty with relief and the faintest traces of agitation, “Well, regardless, why haven’t you said something all this time? Obviously, I wasn’t as aware as you seem to be, so the least you could have done is spared me the pining and heartbreak of wondering if you’d ever look at me—”

“I wanted to make sure I could offer you a peaceful life first,” he says gently. You blink. He smiles, eyeing something in the distance—you don’t quite catch it, but you think it might be the old, worn-out stack of envelopes sitting on his desk. 

“What?”

“When you’re with me,” he whispers, leaning in so that his lips brush over yours, “I can lead a peaceful life. I wanted to make sure I could give you the same.”

“And what does that consist of?” you raise a brow. 

“Well,” he murmurs, pecking the corner of your mouth, “A stable job with a generous income, which I now have. A fixed schedule, which I have also negotiated. A proper home to house the both of us, which you are comfortably laying in. And…” he grabs your hand, bringing it to his chest where his heart is beating erratically, “A rock-solid, chiseled chest to lay on, which I have dedicatedly worked to add to my physique for you.”

“Haitham!” you squeal, shoving him away with a horrified shriek as he laughs with a wide grin. You don’t even know why he still remembers that comment to poke fun at it, but you suppose that is the tragedy of falling for a prodigious scholar. His mind is sharp. And so is his memory. “Enough!”

“Okay, okay,” he grins smugly. “I want us to lead a peaceful life.”

“There’s not a lot of peace I am counting on with you.”

“I will elect to ignore that statement,” he says dryly, “But that’s why I waited this long,” he buries his face into your neck, nose pressing into the skin as he inhales, “I’m afraid I can’t wait any longer, though. Won’t you accept my frugal attempt at a serene life with you?”

“Perhaps I can make do,” you fight back a stupid grin.

He smiles into your neck. You can feel it. You can practically see it. You hope you’ll grow old with it, too. 

“Then I suppose I’m forever indebted to your graciousness, my love.”

────────────────────────

TWENTY FOUR.

When Alhaitham was eight, Grandmother told him the story of how his parents had fallen in love. It was a typical love story, he thought at the time—nothing overly special or unique. A simple, sweet bond between two people who became friends and something more along the way.

What stood out were the letters. Not very much at first, but with time, he’d realized how special they were. 

Grandmother handed him the letters with a soft, melancholy look in her eyes that made him realize he hadn’t just lost his father and mother. She had lost her son and daughter-in-law. Alhaitham felt the absence of his parents often. It was hard not to at that age—he didn’t have a father to throw a ball to or tag along with to the market. He didn’t have a mother to hum him a melody or make his favorite dish for dinner. But Grandmother filled the gaps in those places well enough that even if his heart bled, not too much blood spilled between the cracks.

But he was no son. Not a proper one for her at her age, anyway. She raised him like he was her own, but she grew older every day, and he didn’t grow fast enough to keep up. He couldn’t take care of her in her old age the way his father would have. He couldn’t do much besides bring the vegetables for her to cut or set the table while she cooked. He couldn’t offer her the mora when she went to the market or carry too many of the heavy bags while they walked home. He couldn’t let her rest in her old age too much because, regardless of how mature and bright he was for his age, Alhaitham was just a child. Her child, nonetheless—Grandmother didn’t let him forget that fact. But a child.

When she died, he arranged the funeral alone. He didn’t cry throughout the whole ordeal. Her old colleagues from way back in her Akademiya days came, as did some of his parents’ old acquaintances. No one he knew too familiarly, though—no one who really mattered when they clasped his shoulder and told him to hang in there.

She was a good woman. He knew that already.

She was very intelligent. A very obvious fact.

She was exceptionally kind. A rather unsurprising observation.

She loved very deeply. Well. That one stung—as true as it might have been.

He remembers it so vividly still. How he had walked home alone after it all. How he had taken off his tie (a very poorly tied tie, at that—Grandmother had always helped him before) and silently entered his room.

It wasn’t until he had eyed his desk that finally, it all sank in. The notes—the ones his father had so carefully written his mother while they were still just starting to fall in love, sat there as if waiting for him. He read them one by one, just like he had so many times before. He didn’t realize he’d started crying until a rivulet of his sorrow landed from his cheek to the page, staining the paper a darker shade of heartache. 

Alone. 

That’s all Alhaitham had ever been since the tender age of four. At least, that’s what people had always thought—but he’d never felt the sorrow people tended to feel for him. Not having a father and mother was okay. Hard at times, but okay. Grandmother had been everything he needed. More than what he needed, in fact. 

Grandmother was everything. And she had left him just the same way his parents had. He’d cried that night—alone in a house that was nothing more than just a house. Not a home, not a place where he could return to and look forward to it. Not a place where love was waiting for him to shelter him as soon as he came back from the cruel, outside world.

Grandmother was gone. Mother and father had left so long ago. But they all had each other—in whatever world they’d crossed to, they’d had each other. 

He remembers it all so vividly still. How he’d read his father’s words, and for the first time in all his life, he’d craved it. What his parents had. 

To my love, my soul, my heart. I am yours, always. 

He wondered that night, through teary and blurry eyes, if love like that would ever find him. If he’d one day be able to call someone his love, soul, and heart.

He thinks now, as you laugh with your head tilted forward and a tweezer in hand while sitting on his lap, that he can. 

“Hold still, you,” comes your teasing remark, “you said this would be nothing. Now look at you.”

“You’re being too harsh,” he grumbles, pouting slightly. With a smile, you bend your neck down and press a soft kiss to his jutted lips, humming before pressing an extra one to the corner of his mouth for good measure. (And yes, the grand sage—acting, you can almost hear him correct in your own head—can pout. He is rather frequent at curling those lips of his in your presence when he wants something, in fact. Or when he is teased too much. Something about you brings about a side of him that is much less stoic and far more dramatized.)

“You can just admit it hurts, you know,” you say through an amused snort.

“It won’t hurt if you just do it right.”

“I’m an expert at tweezing eyebrows,” you huff, “I do mine all the time. And I would know that it hurts.”

“It can’t be that painful,” he clicks his teeth, “just be gentle.”

“I cannot gently pull out a hair from your follicle, Haitham—I don’t know what you want me to—hey!”

He grabs the tweezers from your hand and pulls you close, hugging you tight enough that his nose digs into your skin a bit as he buries it into your neck. It’s Saturday. His first out of two days off for the week—standard scribe work weeks are nine to five on weekdays, and he very much appreciates his weekends away from the bustling, lively Akademiya nonsense. 

Saturday happens to be your day off, too. 

“Where is Kaveh?” you ask quietly, playing with the hem of his shirt. He raises a brow, eyeing the suspicious movement of your fingers.

“Working with a client in Aaru Village. He won’t be back until tomorrow evening. Why am I not enough company for you?”

“Oh, be quiet,” you roll your eyes, and this time, your hands wander under his shirt, palms slowly dragging along his chiseled, planed abdomen while he shivers slightly under your touch. “I was just asking if…”

“If…?” he urges you to continue.

You know he knows. But, for the sake of indulging his smug, teasing little game, you huff and push his shirt up to expose his chest before murmuring, “If we would be interrupted or not. I don’t fancy such awkward run-ins with your roommate.”

“Our roommate,” he corrects, “this is your home, too.”

“Yes,” you smile, brushing your palms over his pectorals, watching as he stiffens when you graze along his nipples, “I suppose it is.”

“Well, he’s not here. And he won’t be, so kiss me,” he demands through a breathy whisper. You do. You kiss him instantly—because kissing Alhaitham is what you do best. When he’s happy, sad, angry, distressed, or just plain tired, kissing him is how you know him the most. When your breaths exchange and your life force and his mingle to become one, singular unit. 

You sigh into his mouth, letting his hands cradle your jaw and tilt your head to better meet his mouth, all while your hands still explore his upper half. He moans under your touch, cock springing to life slowly below you through his pants. You angle your hips forward, inching higher up his lap to drag your crotch along his and help the erection grow against the friction. 

“Fuck,” he hisses, hard and heavy between his legs in no time. 

“Haitham,” you breathe, feeling that familiar ache build between your own thighs. 

You kiss him like that for a bit. Messy, deep, sloppy, and so, so slow. With all the time in the world. Languid strokes of your tongue against his as he rolls his hips up from underneath you, dragging his clothed, bulging cock against your dripping cunt. The fabric separates you, rudely so, and it’s not long until you both grow tired of it. 

“Off,” you whine, tugging at his pants, “off, off, off!”

“So demanding,” he chuckles, pecking your nose sweetly before he lifts his hips, letting you slide off his sweatpants. “Satisfied?” 

“Yes,” you beam, “You always give me what I want. It’s my favorite thing about you.”

His gaze darkens at that—not for any other reason than it makes him so incredibly filled with lust when you speak to him like that. So spoiled and happy about it because it’s him. Him. You’re happy that it’s him. And he’s happy that it’s you. 

You don’t even bother undressing yourselves fully—he pulls down your own pants just enough to expose your pretty, leaking folds, and his hands wander under your shirt, where he almost short-circuits for a moment. Braless. Because you just love to drive him mad, he thinks. This much easy access to your soft, delicate breasts and the pert nipples that decorate them is enough to make him curse under his breath as his thumbs tease over them. 

“You’re a tease.”

“For simply existing?” you gasp, making him crack a small grin. 

“Yes,” he hums, “Your existence on its own teases me at all times. I’m afraid it drives me mad.”

You hum, reaching forward to gently take his hard, leaking cock into your hand and give a light, teasing squeeze. “Maybe my goal is to turn you completely into a lost cause.”

“Then,” he groans, throwing his head back against the couch cushions while he breathes harshly, “then you’re definitely succeeding. Is that what you wished to hear?”

“Yes,” you whisper, kissing his jaw, “It is, actually.”

It doesn’t take long at all before Alhaitham has tossed you back against the couch, laughing as you shriek at the sudden change of position. You glare at him, fighting back your own chorus of giggles as he moves to hover over you, kissing and biting playfully along your cheeks. 

“I love you,” he mumbles.

“Aw, so sweet,” you coo, “say that again.”

He rolls his eyes. His lips curl into the brightest grin at the same time. My love, my soul, my heart—the words are ingrained in his memory always. “I love you.”

“And I love you,” you whisper.

He leans in for a soft, slow kiss as the tip of his leaking cock slides against your folds, tapping against your clit before rubbing along your entrance. You gasp, shuddering against him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer. 

“You know,” he murmurs, “I could get used to this.”

“Sex on the couch? We can do that any time—”

“A weekend with just the two of us,” he groans, dropping his head to your neck as you laugh loudly. Bright. Airy. A sound the wind carries to him in his subconscious. He hears you even when you’re not there—even when you aren’t around, he searches for you. 

“Oh,” you say playfully, “Yeah, I guess that’s nice too, isn’t it?”

“I’ll show you just how nice it’s about to be,” he hums. The tip of his thick, blunt head is pressed against your folds—you’re leaking just as much as he is. You slick, and his pre cum mix for a messy collision of arousal as he presses into you slowly, so carefully, you feel like you could break at any second with how he handles you. 

He’s patient. When Alhaitham fucks you, he’s patient enough that you feel like his other half and not his means of pleasure. Like he fucks you for you and not for himself. 

“More,” you insist, impatient as you add, “I can take it.”

“Patience is a virtue,” he clicks his teeth, “I want to take my time feeling you.”

And he does. He rolls his hips slowly. So slowly, you feel delirious. It’s a painful, gradual build-up of pleasure that has you trying to roll your hips into him to meet him halfway, a pathetic attempt when he’s on top of you to press his weight down on you to keep you in place. 

“Please, Haitham,” you whine, sweat shining across your sweet, pleasure-hazed face as he stares down at you, “Please more. I need it—need you. Need all of you.”

“You have all of me,” he groans, feeling the tight walls of your cunt squeeze around him, the squelching noise of his thick girth bullying into your folds in and out, in and out, in and out, driving him to the brink of insanity. “You’ve always had every piece of me.”

“I want more,” you hiss. 

He lets out a breathy laugh that turns into a soft moan. “If that’s what you want.”

The next thing you know, two strong, muscled arms are grabbing your thighs and bringing them around his torso to wrap around him, and his large hands grab your hips and pull, practically manhandling you deeper onto his cock. You shudder, letting out a shrill, high-pitched gasp as he intrudes further into your cunt, nudging the head of his cock against your sweetest of spots and making your body tremble. 

“Haitham,” you gasp, “Haitham, fuck—fuck, you feel so good. So deep—love when you fuck me like this.”

“Yeah?” he murmurs, kissing in between your pretty little scrunched-up eyebrows, “I love fucking you like this, too. When you take me so well, squeeze so tight, and let me feel you like the good girl you are.”

His words make your folds squeeze around him, and fuck—he’s close. So fucking close, the pad of his rough, callused thumb meets your clit as he rubs circles, trying to bring you to the edge before he goes plummeting himself. 

“‘M close—almost…almost there,” you pant.

“Me too, baby,” he groans. He slams into you, skin slapping against skin and the glistening sheen of it mixing your sweat together. His mouth parts with pretty, low sounds of his pleasure, and your face twists with the devastating rush of yours. 

Once. Twice. A third time, and you fall apart as he thrusts into you and presses the tip of his thick length against the spongey spot in the back of your walls. 

“Haitham,” you gasp, legs tightening around him as your nails press crescent shapes into his back. “Fuck, I’m c-cumming…oh, Gods.”

“Good,” he gasps, and with one last roll of his desperate hips, he spills into you, too. A thick, sticky, familiar rush of heat fills your cunt, topes of cum painting you white within with every twitch of his aching cock. “Fuck—you feel so good. So perfect—you were made for me. Me.”

“You,” you whisper, breathless. 

You let him shudder over you, fingers running through his hair as he finishes releasing his load into you before he slumps his wait over your body. It’s a small couch—decorative more than functional. (All thanks to Kaveh, of course.) But you don’t particularly care when you’re under him. It feels right all the same. 

“We have the house to ourselves this weekend,” he reminds you after some time of catching your breaths. “So…so we can do this all you want.”

You giggle, rolling your eyes as you poke his forehead. “You’re obscene.”

“I’m romantic,” he corrects, “I just want to be with you and nothing else. Can’t blame a man when he’s been gifted such a beautiful sight before him.”

“And cheesy, too,” you huff. 

He smiles. My love, my soul, my heart. 

——————————

You wake up Monday morning to Alhaitham already gone—it’s rare that he’s ever up before you. He leaves the house just in time to make it to work exactly on the dot and not a moment sooner or a moment later. But, as is with any Akademiya position, there are quarterly meetings that even the scribe can’t avoid. You giggle at the image in your head of a grumpy Alhaitham carefully tiptoeing around the room as he miserably gets ready for an early morning of extra work, all while making sure he doesn’t wake you. 

You yawn, sitting up to start your morning for your own day of work ahead—but it catches your eye before you can fully rise from bed, making you pause. 

A note? No, you realize almost instantly. Not just a note—a letter. 

To my love, my soul, my heart: Kalpalata lotuses will bloom soon. I forget how beautiful the world is sometimes, and I suppose it’s because I am always distracted by your beauty alone. Will you laugh as you read this? I suppose you might because even I must admit, it is a rather cliche thing to say. I can just picture your smile now, and I am certain I will have it memorized until my last breath. It’s easy to remember it so well when it’s all I see in my dreams. Have I told you how often I see you in them? It’s difficult to think that there was once a time in Sumeru when we did not dream. It seems like sleeping beside your body is no longer enough—your presence is required even in my slumber for me to truly be at peace.  Perhaps when the lotuses bloom, we can take a trip to the deeper parts of the rainforest to catch a glimpse of a few. They say the vines are blessed by The Lord herself. I was never one to seek out the divine, but perhaps with a gift as sacred as you, I should take the time to thank Lady Kusanali for granting such brilliance to take bloom in my presence. Only, the difference is that here with you, there are no cliffs to climb or seasons to await. You are mine to bloom, always—my precious, beautiful lotus.  Forever yours,  Haitham ♡

ITS DONE. HAPPY LATE BDAY TO MY FIRST AND LONGEST LOVE. YOU MEAN EVERYTHING AND MORE TO MEEEEE

[pha55ed]

All I Want For Christmas || F1/F2

type :: fluff

tw/cw :: sexual jokes

contains :: carlos, charles, lando, oscar, ollie, paul, pepe

summary :: they hard launch you on insta! yay!

xmas celly here! || f1 masterlist || f2 masterlist

Carlos Sainz | 55

carlossainz55 : my most expensive gift to myself! love you forever @.yourusername

→ user 01: Con😭grad😭u😭lations

⎯→ user 02: we never had a chance... 😭😭

→ yourusername: mwah <3 love you forever

⎯→ user 03: what about me :(

⎯→ user 04: let her go bro... she's gone 😭

→ alexandrasaintmleux: so cute! 🩷

⎯→ yourusername: not as cute as you 😉

⎯→ user 05: the prettiest wags ever

Charles Leclerc | 16

charles_leclerc : my biggest win yet @.yourusername

→ user 01: GAWWDAAAMNN how does he find the most gorgeous women ever

⎯→ yn_hater: she doesn't compare to alex tho :/

⎯→ yn_biggest_fan: 43°44′5″N 7°25′14″E and you still live with ur mom 🤣

→ yourusername: no need to lie in ur caption but thank you love

⎯→ user 02: i would never lie to u, just saying. (I'm 6'3)

→ oscarpiastri: welcome to the fam 👏

⎯→ yourusername: gonna be an evil step mom to u >:D

⎯→ oscarpiastri: but you're my real mom

⎯→ yourusername: andddd now i feel bad 😭

Lando Norris | 04

landonorris : how i sleep knowing @.yourusername is protecting me

→ user 01: once again a beautiful girl with an ugly man

⎯→ user 02: a beautiful girl with a funny* rich* talented* and hot* man

→ maxfewtrell: so this is how i find out i'm being cheated on

⎯→ yourusername: 🫵🤣 LOL

⎯→ user 03: the girls are fightinggggg

→ user 04: lando is confirmed a pillow princess???

⎯→ yourusername: only the best for him

Oscar Piastri | 81

oscarpiastri: just a chill guy with a not very chill girl @.yourusername

→ user 01: why would u post the 3rd photo 😭😭

⎯→ user 02: i think thats her crying after he won in baku??

⎯→ user 03: but why is the photo taken in her house then???

⎯→ yourusername: can't a girl be proud (i was crying for 3 hours still)

→ user 04: literally the nonchalant x chalant trope

→ charles_leclerc: congrats to you both! ❤️

⎯→ user 05: AWW OMG this is so cute

→ yourusername: when i come home i want u oiled up on my bed

⎯→ user 06: OH...!

⎯→ user 07: no one will match her freak

Oliver Bearman | 87

olliebearman: yes the pizza is armed... jk love you @.yourusername

→ user 01: Ollie if you hurt her....

⎯→ user 02: I think we should be worried FOR him

→ yourusername: who are you...

⎯→ user 03: ikrrrrr hes sooo weirddddd, come home to me instead!!!!

→ kimi.antonelli: congrats mate! blink twice for help!

⎯→ yourusername: I know where you live.

→ user 04: I love beautiful crazy girls <3 she's so valid

Paul Aron | 17

paularon_: my biggest inspiration and supporter @.yourusername

→ yourusername: can't wait to boost the estonian population with you <3

⎯→ user 01: mind you, it's 8am when i opened my phone

→ user 02: they're so fucking beautiful, i can't even blame (y/n) for being horny

⎯→ user 03: their kids will be the prettiest ever

→ user 04: I KNEW THEY WERE DATING OMFGGGG I KNEW IT

→ dinobeganovic: GET A ROOM U FREAKS!!! (happy for you both!)

⎯→ pepemartiofficial: AGREED! (congrats mate!)

⎯→ yourusername: FUCK YOU GUYS!!!! (thanks guys)

Pepe Marti | 21

pepemartiofficial: BREAKING: proud to anounce that i will be with extending my contract with (y/n) for another year @.yourusername

→ yourusername: only a one year extension??? fake asf

⎯→ chirstian.mansell: cause he's transferring to me after one year

⎯→ yourusername: enjoy my sloppy seconds

⎯→ gabyprentice_: its okay bby u can come with me

→ user 01: praying on their downfall purely so i can have a shot with (y/n)

→ user 02: yet another tall lanky awkward man with a beautiful girlfriend

⎯→ user 03: (y/n) has always been into awkward men, not a surprise

→ user 04: Can't wait to see her face in the paddock, her face card is LETHAL

[yeahxsurexokay13]

bragger, lando norris

summary: fans constantly tease yn for always bringing lando up and being a bit of a simp for her boyfriend - which only gets worse after his first f1 win - so she writes a song about how if they were her they'd do the same.

warnings: none i think??? but let me know if i missed any. the song mentioned is 'bragger' by kelsea ballerini!! (((:

IN HONOUR OF LANDO'S VERY FIRST WIN !! 🥇

y/n.updates

Liked by fan22 and 1.340 others

y/n.updates Y/n's interview with WIRED where she answers the web's most searched questions about her is now out! Go give it a watch 😄

view all 208 comments

fan1 she looked painfully beautiful in this

fan2 how was lando in the answer for questions like 'does y/n speak spanish?' or 'is y/n a good singer?' lol

fan7 she said she didn't remember much from high school but knew some words lando had been taught by carlos sainz and that her boyfriend tells her she is... it kind of isn't that weird if u think about it haha

user1 The more I see of her, the more I like her

fan7 i spy with my little eye 1.6K people with no taste

fan3 interview was everything I hoped for and more! she's hilarious and relatable as always

fan4 new drinking game: take a shot every time she mentions lando

fan5 I've watched it like 5 times already lol

fan6 we need a tally for how many times Y/n drops 'Lando' in her interviews. can someone make that happen?

y/n.y/l

Liked by carlossainz55 and 1.890.321 others

y/n.y/l the vibe i bring to the function (ugly crying on facetime) !!! so incredibly happy for you @/landonorris. you did it 🧡🧡🧡

view all 3.501 comments

y/n.y/l also congrats @/oscarpiastri and everyone else at mclaren for an amazing race ((((:

oscarpiastri thank you Y/n! 🧡 ❤️ by author

landofan4 ok this is very cute and nice of her🥺🥺

fan1 ARE YOU STILL CRYING ? BECAUSE I AM DEFINITELY STILL CRYING

y/n.y/l started crying on lap 54 and haven't stopped since

fan2 new post from my fave lando norris fan account yay (also go lando!!!!!!)

user1 Well deserved 👏🏼👏🏼

landofan3 soy lago

y/n.y/l same

lnfour LFGGGG ❤️ by author

fan3 How many times do you think Y/n's going to mention Lando's win in the next week? Taking bets now

maxfewtrell It's the messy hair and smudged mascara for me

y/n.y/l knew i should've gone for the 'perfectly composed while crying' look instead 😔

landofan1 rip lando nowins: 2019-2024 ❤️ by author

landofan2 "you were scared? i wasn't. i was ok (laughs). thank you. i love you" lando 🥹🥹🥹

fan5 when did he say that? omg

landofan2 f1 posted a reel on their profile and you can hear him talking to her!

mclaren LANDO NORRIS IS A FORMULA 1 RACE WINNER 🏆

y/n.y/l I AM SO NOT CALM ABOUT THIS ??!!?

user2 i could've sworn i saw her at the race? why are they facetiming?

fan4 they could barely speak after the win tbh! this is probably a call in between interviews

user2 today's bottle smash hit different ❤️ by author

landonorris I've said this like a million times already today but I love you so much

y/n.y/l i love you i love you i love you i love you

y/n.y/l

Liked by pietra.pilao and 1.809.896 others

y/n.y/l if he was yours, you'd do the same without apologising... new single 'bragger' out now!!!! 💋💋

view all 3.890 comments

fan6 WHAT HAPPENED TO HWLLO ?? HOW ARE YIU ??

y/n.y/l 🫢🫢

fan1 "he's just too damn good not to mention" .....................i mean she is right we'll give that to her ❤️ by author

landofan1 USING THESE SPECIFIC PICS OF LANDO TO ANNOUNCE THE RELEASE OF A SINGLE ABOUT BRAGGING ABOUT HIM IS WILD !!!!

landofan5 that last video is doing things to me.........

landonorris i'm confused does anyone know who this is about?

y/n.y/l no idea 🤷🏽‍♀️ but let me know if you find out xx

landofan4 apparently about some guy named bob?? I'm not sure

fan8 HAHAHA I LOVE THEM

fan2 she really wanted to make sure she'd made her point clear with this dump omfg

fan3 her point: she has a hot bf and we don't

user1 Well played, Y/N. Well played. 🥸

fracisca.cgomes On repeat ❤️❤️

y/n.y/l lindaaaaaaa ❤️

landofan2 knowing all she's saying is about lando makes the song x1000 times better

fan7 so she saw the tweets... 😐

y/n.y/l i saw everything 👀 they were actually hard to miss hahaha

user2 "i understand why you would want him (i don't mind)" queen behaviour !!!!!! 👑👑

fan4 So this is how she gets back at us for all the teasing lol not complaining at all

landofan3 I can't believe this new song is actually inspired by the fans' teasing about Lando!!🤣

fan5 we joked, she delivered!!! bragger is actually a banger👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[goldfades]

paige x reader texts!

(not my gif)

for my baby jojo! @wanderlusturous

notes: since i dont really know how to do those like screenshot ones, i decided to just do them manually cause it'd be easier LOL bare w me... also ignore how unaesthetic this post is

you’re taking forever to get ready, and paige is impatient

paige: Are you almost done?? you: beauty takes time baby paige: You’ve been “getting ready” for an hour you: and i will continue until i feel like the baddest in the room. u should support me paige: I do support you. I just don’t want to be late 😭 you: ok and? ur paige bueckers. they’ll wait. paige: That is NOT how this works 😭

--

you’re at one of paige’s games and she’s locked in

you: hi i love u play good 😘 paige: I’m literally about to play a game 😭 you: and? that should only fuel u. do it for me. paige: I always do 😏 you: god u r so in love w me it’s crazy paige: Stop texting me before Coach yells at me 😭

--

paige keeps sending you ugly selfies

paige:

you: girl what is this 💀 paige: It’s meeeeee you: no bc why is ur forehead taking up the whole screen paige: I was trying to show you my new pimple ☹️ you: well u succeeded. that thing is front and center paige: That’s mean ☹️ you: i’ll kiss it better later. but also u need skincare fr paige: …rude. but also what do I buy cause this Cerave shit isn't doing anything

--

paige left her fav hoodie at your place

paige: Can I get my hoodie back you: no ❤️ paige: What do you mean no?? It’s mine?? you: wrong. u left it here. it has transferred ownership paige: That’s not how this works you: i don’t make the rules. i just enforce them paige: You’re ridiculous you: and cozy 😌

--

paige woke up before you and is bored, while you need ur daily dose of insta reels

paige: Wake up you: no paige: I’m bored n ur just on tiktok 😭 you: sounds like a personal problem and it's literally insta reels paige: You are my girlfriend. It’s literally your job to entertain me. you: i do not recall signing up for this paige: Too late. Wake up. you: bribing me would work better js paige: I’ll buy you food you: ok bet

--

you caught paige staring at you when you guys are hanging out with friends

you: bro paige: ? you: why r u looking at me like that 😭 paige: Like what you: like u want to eat me paige: …I was just looking at you?? you: yeah with big heart eyes paige: Okay?? You’re literally my girlfriend?? you: sounds like a u problem tbh. i’m just here existing paige: And I’m just here admiring 🤷🏼‍♀️ you: softie

--

paige is flirting with you

paige: You looked really good today 😏 you: i always look good paige: Yeah but like… extra good you: oh? paige: Yeah you: so u admit u were staring paige: UHHHHHHH you: caught u slipping love

--

you’re mad at paige over something small

paige: Are you seriously still mad 😭 you: yes paige: It wasn’t even that serious you: IT WAS TO ME paige: You’re so dramatic omg you: don’t talk to me paige: What if I bring you snacks you: … paige: That’s what I thought you: ur lucky i love snacks

--

you’re making paige jealous on purpose

paige: Why are you talking to her so much?? you: oh? does someone feel threatened? paige: No. Just wondering why you’re talking to her THAT much. you: maybe i think she’s cute 😌 paige: Y/N. you: LMFAO NOT U USING MY FULL NAME paige: I’m serious 😒 you: baby i’m kidding. ur the only one i want paige: I hate you you: no u don’t 😘

--

paige is on a long roadie and is missing you

paige: I’m bored you: sounds like a u problem tbh paige: No, it’s a you problem bc I miss you you: oh paige: Yeah. Oh. you: ur kinda soft paige: Maybe you: i miss u too baby

[fruitsofhell]

@fecto-forgo You are the first person I've seen who expresses this fear besides me!! It's so hard to explain because Mago Epilogue was such a net positive to a lot of people who just wanted to see more Magolor, but at the same time there are so many weird quirks to the writing that feel inconsistent with the usually more carefully written lore stuff that it's been driving me insanehfhdh.

The Clash thing (as well as decanonization of him being from Halcandra but idk how you feel about that) feel like very out of left field twists that serve more as surprises than well-written plot beats. Thought ATLEAST Clash's thing with the apple feels somewhat thematically coherent? But still, I miss the idea of the park being how he redeemed himself as was the idea since the 20th Anniversay game.

Goofy ah Forgotten Land essay incoming:

It took me till like a week ago to realize that KATFL writes Elfilis and Forgo as being the same characters and I don't know how to feel about that. I feel Forgo is more interesting as it's own being the way Elfilin is from 'Lis, because I like the idea of them both being these smaller figments of the past self reduced to childish forms representing absolutes of the original. But at the same time, what made me realize that this isn't the game's intention is when I was going to say something about how hollow Elfilis is as a character in comparison to Forgo.

So really, you either make Forgo and Elfilis effectively one character and Elfilin another, negating Forgo of its own identity as a pathetic pitiable beast so that Elfilis continues to have a presence - or you make all three of them seperate characters, and Elfilis loses what they gain as a character from Forgo's motivations.

Elfilis has not a single defined motive for why it attacked the people of the Forgotten Land very much unlike other Kirby villains who can atleast say something like, "power/gain (Magolor), vanity/power (Sectonia), greed (Haltmann), or vengeance (Hyness)". Elfilis and Forgo are often described as invasive species, but what that entails isn't obvious because all we know about 'Lis' evil intentions is from Forgo. But Forgo has its own motivations that exist outside of Elfilis' original wishes - that being its captivity in Lab Discovera, which is very strong on its own.

It adds a very engaging sense of darkness to the legacy of the Forgotten Land, and makes you pity and understand its raw animosity as much as you wish to defend the world from it. The fact that Elfilis was a violent invader rather than just some other alien adds little to its motive, but does add thematic garnish to the idea of how alien life has approached the Forgotten Land. But at the same time, Forgo's captivity is such a strong motivator it really could have stood on its own and still been effective as an alien antithesis to Kirby... Though I admit not as much as what Elfilis is.

Probably to most people that have been reading straight from the games intentions, the former sounds more appealing than the latter. But, probably due to my own stubbornness and bias I really really do love them being 3 seperate entities even at the expense of depth for Elfilis. Because one of my favorite reoccurring themes in this series is vain idealization of the past fucking villains over.

I like this in Taranza's devotion to a Sectonia that no longer exists, Susie to a father that has long since been lost in his own mad schemes to find her, and Hyness obsessing over a very flawed understanding of his cult's past. And I USED TO LIKE the idea that Magolor's obsession with the crown was him, as a *Halcandran* glorifying Halcandra's past relics, but CANT HAVE THAT ANYMORE.

If the Kirby writers don't got me anymore, I guess I'll got myself. I like the idea of Forgo being as seperate from Elfilis as 'Lin is, but while Elfilin is all of their originals innocence, purity, and hope, Forgo is its raw anger and vengefulness. Visually taking Elfilis's soft/mammalian and alien/insectoid motifs respectively, but both distinctly being immature and incomplete states. Elfilis was not just that anger nor just that hope (wherever it came from), and is only the culmination of those two sides, it's a symbol of a self the two can never be on their own - one that Forgo idealizes and one Elfilin avoids.

For the sake of the ending where Elfilin reclaims the last bit of Forgo/Elfilis that is willing to go on, I prefer the mutuality of Forgo and Elfilin moving on together, rather than Elfilin just accepting Elfilis if that makes ANY sense. I just like the way Forgo and Elfilin parallel eachother more than he does with 'Lis? I like the narrative of healing that acknowledges that Forgo and Elfilin are both lost and grieving children, rather than Elfilin abandoned Elfilis who then became Forgo. Like the latter feels oddly possessive and unbalanced.

And as I said in line with past series themes, I kinda like the idea that whatever the fuck Elfilis had going on is irrelevant, just as seeing the faces of the people of the Forgotten Land is irrelevant - all that is relevant is what was left behind. I like the idea that Elfilis cannot really speak for itself anymore as a character the way the people of the Forgotten Land can only speak through their ruins and audio recordings. And as those people left behind a legacy of reclaimed wonder and terrible cruelty, in response, Elfilis left behind one of innocent hope and unbridled anger. I'd prefer to try and piece together what those two opposing visions say of their predecessor than just assume one speaks for them in its entirely I s'pose...

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙days like these | DR3˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: daniel ricciardo x y/n reader (she/her)

genre: social media au, established relationship

warnings: random fluffy shite

summary: in which you're so active on social media and your fans eat it up

a/n: kind of the daniel version of This Fic i made from a lando request !!!

fc: various brunette girls from pinterest

my masterlist

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1, and 332,782 others

yourusername your favs

tagged: danielricciardo

view all 3,193 comments

maxverstappen1 neither of you are my favourites

yourusername you stink + no one asked + ratio + my bf is hotter than urs

maxverstappen1 what are you saying to me right now

yourusername you heard me

danielricciardo hahahahah

maxverstappen1 daniel tell your girlfriend to leave me alone please

yourusername this is literally my post

user3 y/n is the funniest & best wag tbh she's literally right she is our fav

user4 im in love with u

danielricciardo wow you are gorgeous and amazing

yourusername i know right

user5 i love them so bad

twitter ->

instagram ->

danielricciardo

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 881,034 others

danielricciardo girl is always eating

tagged: yourusername

view all 12,729 comments

yourusername what is wrong with you

danielricciardo huh??

yourusername WHY WOULD YOU POST THESE UGLY ASS PICS OF ME

danielricciardo wtf you literally look hot as hell

maxverstappen1 😂😂😂

yourusername i know you aint laughing at me sloth verstappen

maxverstappen1 🤐🤐🤐

user9 how can someone still look this hot whilst eating

user10 omg i love her

user11 now this is why she's everyone's fav wag

user12 reason 10292 more like

francisca.cgomes how did you bag such a hottie

danielricciardo ask myself this everyday

yourusername OMG KIKA im blushing

danielricciardo wow she doesnt care when i compliment her

francisca.cgomes what can i say 🤷‍♀️

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, danielricciardo, and 289,061 others

yourusername beach day with my gf

tagged: francisca.cgomes

view all 6,293 comments

pierregasly ???

yourusername and what do u want

pierregasly my girlfriend back?

yourusername not right now, sorry

francisca.cgomes the girls are fighting over mee

user16 I LOVE THEMMM OMG

user17 wag besties 🥹

francisca.cgomes i love u

yourusername i love you

danielricciardo so this is why u didnt text me back today

yourusername I DROPPED MY PHONE IN THE SEA OK

maxverstappen1 😂😂😂

yourusername next time i see u it's on site

maxverstappen1 😰

user18 hahaha max never says a word and still gets roasted

maxverstappen1

liked by landonorris, kellypiquet, and 917,892 others

maxverstappen1 Cool 😎

view all 11,013 comments

user19 IS THAT DANIEL & Y/N IN THE LAST SLIDE

user20 LOL more comments about y/n than max himself

kellypiquet ❤️❤️

liked by maxverstappen1

user29 Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N ‼️

yourusername obsessed with my man much

maxverstappen1 i'll block you

yourusername booooooo max verstappen booooooooo tomatoes tomatoes

danielricciardo be nice y/n

yourusername no

maxverstappen1 what is wrong with her

user30 i cant tell if y/n actually has real beef with max or not 😭😭

user31 surely not hahah she's literally in his photo dump

twitter ->

instagram ->

danielricciardo

liked by yourusername, francisca.cgomes, and 771,829 others

danielricciardo my woman

tagged: yourusername

view all 8,183 comments

user35 bet he's sucking up to her

user36 awww the flower in the plastic cup

user37 the bows on the uggs she's just a girl fr

yourusername i havent forgotten what you said daniel

danielricciardo im sorry for calling you unemployed even though you are

yourusername right.

maxverstappen1 a taste of your own medicine for once

*comment deleted by maxverstappen1*

yourusername i saw that maxverstappen1

maxverstappen1 saw what

user37 boooo we want y/n & daniel fluff

danielricciardo she wont love me anymore

user38 get her some flowers or something daniel

user39 yea man up

yourusername 🤔

danielricciardo give the people what they want

yourusername fine i forgive u. and i love u

danielricciardo ! i love you so much

user40 and the crowd goes wild!!!

THE END ❤️

[newtkive]

shift shenanigans - s1 social media au

note: jus for fun ! may or may not do more parts.

warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes from richie sry

part two

liked by syd_adamu, marcus.brooks11 and 30 others

chefboyardee: my friends! i love my friends! the two on the right more than the left (i’m joking i promise) 😁😁😁😁

see all 8 comments

syd_adamu: brave of you to call him your friend y/n

↳ chefboyardee: boss man carmy save me

↳ syd_adamu: oh.. :///

marcus.brooks11: you did me so dirty, friend.

↳ chefboyardee: love you marcus you look spectacular

↳ marcus.brooks11: don’t start

richietheking: Where am I?

↳ chefboyardee: ya motha

liked by syd_adamu, chefboyardee and 10 others

richietheking: Getting sh$!t done.

see all 8 comments

marcus.brooks11: This is coolllddd.

↳ richietheking: You already know it man.

syd_adamu: this is actually crazy

carmyberzatto: can you show this on instagram? i think you should delete this.

↳ richietheking: Delete your life.

chefboyardee: come down to the beef for a number 6 the occy way 💯 the safest joint on the block 🤑💯we are 🔛🔝

↳ richietheking: Eyyy I know that’s right.

↳ carmyberzatto: please don’t advertise this.

WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩

[ 8:25 am ]

y/n:

bruh im about to lose it. heads up when you guys get to work.

marcus: that catering order is about to be crazy

DO NOT REPLY: These white boards are stressing me out.

syd: we know, probably giving you ptsd from not finishing high school

DO NOT REPLY: Fuck you I did finish it.

y/n: oh i gotta change ur contact name richie

richie poo: ????? What

y/n: it was ‘DO NOT REPLY’ lols

marcus: valid

syd: real

richie poo: What? Why?! That’s so rude

y/n: cuz you piss me off

and you kept blowing up my phone yesterday

richie poo: You weren’t answering, and we needed help at the cook out.

syd: the one where you poisoned everyone?

richie poo: Fuck off.

y/n: when i’m off work, i’m off work.

marcus: don’t let carmy hear that, y/n

y/n: don’t remind me

syd: he’s trying at least, go easy on him. he really has great ideas

richie poo: You mean you have great ideas in that little notebook

tina: Never trust a broad with a notebook.

syd: hey! i’m just being helpful

y/n: do you guys think my ig post will hurt carmys feelings

marcus: it would make me a little sad if i were him, but i don’t think he cares

y/n: great i’m gonna cry now

syd: i doubt he even saw it y/n it’s fine

richie poo: Check the work chat. Cousin is in a mood.

y/n: oh great

tina: Help us all.

syd: be nice you guys

WORK

[ 9:15 am ]

carmy: Everyone, we have huge catering orders tomorrow to prep for today. Please get here as soon as you can, the earlier you clock in the better. Additionally, please be careful what you post on social media. I don’t want people to get the wrong impression

y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳

syd: ok sounds good

richie poo: Cool it, Cousin. What’s the issue with the social media

tina: I use FaceBook. That not allowed now??

carmy: Tina, you’re fine. I’m talking about those who post work things on public accounts

marcus: facebook is crazy

richie poo: I can’t go private

y/n: he needs the likes

richie poo: No I’m disabled from doing so. Not sure why

y/n: liar

richie poo: 😑I don’t like you

carmy: Then please don’t post pics of yourself posting up with a gun and an air horn outside of my shop anymore.

marcus: that pic was fire can’t lie

carmy: Well, it’s bad for business.

richie poo: Fine, whatever

y/n: carmy

carmy: What, Y/n?

y/n: is this because of my caption on my post i’m sorry i promise i wasn’t being for real

carmy: I don’t care Y/n.

y/n: is that code for ‘i care a lot and i’m crying in the office right now and that’s why the door is closed’

oh

syd: ? why the oh

y/n: he opened the door and yelled no 🤨 but i think i saw red eyes

carmy: Please get back to work and I’ll comp a meal for you later

y/n: OMG yes chef 😍

richie poo: Inappropriate emojis and you shouldn’t have to incentivize her to work

y/n: shut up acting like HR i’m gonna beat your ass

jealousy is ugly which is why you have that mug on your face

carmy: Stop

y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳

i heard your giggle tho

richie poo: Again with the schizo episode

syd: you can’t say that richie

richie poo: Oh sorry

[redbullgirly]

Million Dollar Man [LS18 smau]

Lance Stroll x reader [social media au]

Masterlist

Summary: Lance's girlfriend isn't afraid to show how much her boyfriend loves and spoils her. Unfortunately, "fans" seem to think she's a gold digger. But who would Lance and Y/N bee if they just let it slide?

Warnings: A lot of hate towards the reader by online trolls and just toxic fans, at the end she and Lance shuts them up but if you're not in the right head-space to read this, then please don't.

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by lance_stroll, fernandoalo_oficial, astonmartin and 192,344 others

tagged: astonmartin and lance_stroll

yourusername life lately... how about you? 🍰💐

view all 3209 comments

user1 more like: life lately 💸💸💸

user2 LOL

lance_stroll life lately has been great ❤️

liked by the author

user3 Lance don't worry we're going to save you!!

user4 our guy is lyinggggg i can feel it

user5 Oh my god let them live a happy life you trolls🤦‍♀️

user6 how can you know it's happy when she clearly uses him for money?🤨

user5 And how can you know it's not? Besides I don't think she uses him for anything🤷‍♀️

user4 then your just as naive as him user5 lol

user7 she's so classy a love it!😻

user8 Can she even drive or she just wanted to take a photo in his car?

fernandoalo_oficial You are slaying Queen!😉

fernandoalo_oficial Did I do it correctly yourusername?

yourusername it's great nando, just please never use that emoji again and you'll be ready do graduate from my gen-z university!

fernandoalo_oficial Damn it I knew all you use these days is this one: 💀

yourusername 💀

user9 OKAY I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ANYONE SAYS ABOUT HER AND LANCE CAUSE I LOVE Y/N AND NANDO INTERACTIONS MORE THAN MY OWN LIFE!!

user10 i'm convinced she holds both aston drivers hostage in her basement and is forcing them to comment on her posts

user11 It's probably not even her own basement but Lance's😭

user12 nah she ain't even that pretty

user13 omg no way this post is the way I found out lance mf stroll has a girlfriend?🤠

user14 GIRL you have so much lore to catch up on

user15 Yeah welcome to the worst wag ever fandom xd

user13 wait I'm so confused... why do we hate her???

user14 bc she's basically a gold digger, like from the moment her and lance started dating she's been posting only about shopping and showing off herself and her bf's money

user12 plus she ugly af

user15 Yeah and there are rumors on twitter about her being really mean to everyone and that the whole paddock hates her and stuff...

user13 okay I get that but tbh we can't believe everything that's on f1 twitter

user14 idc she's a bitch even without the rumors

user15 I can tell Y/N is trying so hard to have the rich girly aesthetic... it's actually embarrassing😂

astonmartin Wow you have a great car right there😍

user16 more like her sugar daddy lance has it lol XD

user17 guys be fr if you had a rich boy you'd be spending his money too!!!

twitter

yourusername and lance_stroll posted on instagram stories

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by estabanocon, lance_stroll, astonmartinf1 and 206,948 others

tagged: astonmartinf1 and lance_stroll

yourusername thank you spa for having me! what a race, congrats to my favourite driver lance_stroll on p9 & his teammate fernandoalo_oficial on p5! great team work, hope to see you on another grand prix in the future astonmartinf1 💚🏆

view all 4022 comments

astonmartinf1 we hope to see you on another grand prix as well Y/N!🤩

liked by the author

user1 you don't have to lie admin, it's waste of money on her... better give the paddock pass to someone else

astonmartinf1 well, we definitely won't give it to you user1, so no need to worry about it 😙

user2 daaaamn, the admin is coming for y'all haters

user3 Of course she had to wear the racing suit... c'mon that's so embarrassing🙄

user4 actually it's pretty normal, I'm pretty sure Max's gf also wore his racing suit at some point

user3 Yeah but I at least like and respect Kelly... Y/N is a horrible gold digger

user4 well then I'm pretty sure it's your problem, not hers🤷‍♀️

user5 girl stop pretending you care about racing we all know you do it just for pr and cash xdd

user6 Honestly I'm not a Lance Stroll fan, but he deserves someone better than her...

lance_stroll Thank you to my favourite wag! 🥳❤️

yourusername love you baby!!!💞

user7 favourite wag😂 good joke😂😂

user8 am I the only one who finds their interaction cute??

user9 yeah you are user8... like just look at it, it's so forced... wouldn't be surprising if their whole relationship was fake

user10 You can hate on her all you want, but she's actually gorgeous in the third pic😻

user11 YUUUCCKK🤮🤮🤮

user12 you see I would be fine with this post if she didn't have to show off the aston martin car again!!!

user13 Hey did you notice she tagged Nando in the caption and he didn't reply to her? I call it ✨karma✨ lol

user14 maybe he escaped from her basement😭

user15 💚💚

user16 sorry but I can't help it. There's just something fishy about Y/N and I can't bring myself to like her at all

user17 Guys who is this girl and why does she get more hate in her comments than hailey bieber??💀

user18 I hate how she makes the whole Grand Prix about herself

user19 no but fr... like honey, idc about you and your favourite driveeer

user20 Tf?? She literally called LANCE her favourite driver how is that about her... you haters are so dumb🤦‍♀️

user21 I bet she read the comments on twitter about how she's bad gf for not going to any races and decided to fix her image by this XD

user19 lmfao didn't probably work the way she hoped

messages between Y/N and Lance

lance_stroll posted on instagram

liked by yourusername, sebastianvettel, f1 and 330,219 others

tagged: yourusername

lance_stroll As some of you now, I am not very active on social media. Today I'm making an exception for Y/N, my lovely girlfriend I've been dating for almost a year now. She is one of the greatest, most kind, caring and selfless people I know. I don't know where the idea of our relationship being unhappy, one-sided or even insincere came from, but I would like to make it very clear once and for all that these assumptions are as far from the truth as they can be.

In my life, I experienced a lot of hateful comments and reactions myself. It is not something I wish anyone should have to go through and it's disgusting. I love Y/N with all my heart and I hope that one day, she'll make me the happiest man alive and allows me to marry her, build a family together. No one will ever again speak about her in an inappropriate way, or they'll be blocked and possibly face legal actions taken agains them. I am very serious about this.

Y/N, I'm not afraid to call you the love of my life. I never want to see you cry because of some meaningless hater. Love you to the moon and back, sweetheart ❤️

view all 4823 comments

user1 It's just so heartbreaking how Lance himself had to go through so many waves of hate because of his dad and now he had to watch Y/N go through it too...😓

yourusername love you to the moon and back too lance!!!💖

lance_stroll Wouldn't have it any other way honey!😌

user2 you know it's serious when sebastianvettel shows up

astonmartinf1 once the it couple, always the it couple!💚 proud to say we were never a hater😘

user3 i still think it's fake

fernandoalo_oficial and I think you are fake🤪

user4 LMAO nando come and get the haters lets goooo

user5 That's how you shut them up xd

fernandoalo_oficial how do you children say it? I AM LANCEY/N DEFENDER

user4 yeah yeah nando exactly that or you can say your a lancey/n truther

liked by fernandoalo_oficial

user5 omg I can't believe I just had online conversation with THE Fernando Alonso😭

user4 GIRL ME TOO AND HE EVEN LIKED MY COMMENT😭😭

f1 What a beautiful couple you are!🙌 Hope to see you in the paddock after summer break!😏

user6 "they'll be blocked and possibly face legal actions taken agains them" daaammmnn man is standing on business here

user7 Tbh I never understood why y'all hated on her sm she's literally so beautiful and seems kind as well🤷‍♀️

lilymhe pretty giiiirl

lance_stroll I couldn't agree more!❤️

yourusername oh stop you two I'm blushing

user8 Can we take a moment to appreciate how beautifully the caption is written?🥹 Lance really has some poetic talent!

liked by yourusername

user9 aaah she's still a gold digger and he's too blind to see it😂

user10 Yeah she probably charmed him in bed or sm

user11 Ohh user9 and user10... I wonder how it feels to know Lance and probably some other drivers hate you🫢

chloestroll My brother and my future sister-in-law!🥰

liked by the author and yourusername

yourusername 🥰🥰

user12 im actually so happy to see y/n replying to some of the comments and just being active without so much hate on her now!!!

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by lance_stroll, kellypiquet, fernandoalo_oficial and 299,102 others

tagged: lance_stroll and dior

yourusername they say if he wanted to he would... I say he wants to so he does 🌹❤️

comments have been limited

lilymhe she ate you jealous people up with that caption

liked by lance_stroll and fernandoalo_oficial

lilymhe also alex_albon me when??

dior Wow!❤️‍🔥

lance_stroll That's what real men do instead of trolling others on the internet.

yourusername daaammn baby

lance_stroll What? I'm just stating facts 😌

kellypiquet shopping trip to Paris when?😍

yourusername anytime you want!!!💕

astonmartinf1 So lucky to (basically) have you on our team💚

fernandoalo_oficial I call that a slay admin

astonmartinf1 ...should I tell him slay is kinda out dated??

yourusername aaah let him have his moment

fernandoalo_oficial WHAT?! YOU TRAITORS I THOUGH I WAS GEN-Z APPROVED

yourusername 🫢

THE END

Author's note: I hope you liked my first ever social media au story! I'll be glad for every feedback, comment, like, reblog and everything! You can definitely send me asks and requests for another smau's and even 'normal' fanfictions. Have a great day!

[angievue]

flower girl ʚɞ billie eilish

in which you work at a flower shop and billie works at a tattoo parlour right next door

contains smut, degrading, dumbification, fingering & oral, ig readers innocent, unsupportive parents, this is really bad LOL

a/n guys i found this i think i made this three months ago for fun and OMG😭 also i’m on my phone so that’s why the layout is so ugly😔 i’m not even gonna proof read this cuz its so bad but i love the tattoo girl x flower girl trope so🫠 might re write this or make a pt 2 idk!!

You’ve always been a bit of a goody two shoes. The obedient type, always following your parents’ strict rules and agreeing to whatever your friends begged for, even though you never truly felt free. Your life felt like it was on lockdown, confined by your parents’ watchful eyes.

That was until you started working at a cozy little flower shop. The space was filled with hyacinths, lilies, and roses, and you felt instantly at home there. You could arrange bouquets however you liked and finally had a chance to connect with the world outside.

But what you liked most was the dark-haired girl who worked at the tattoo shop right next to your little flower shop. Growing up, you were taught that attraction to the same gender was forbidden, so now, alone with your thoughts, you can’t help but be drawn to her.

You’ve never spoken to her, and God knows when you will. You’ve only ever seen her walking into the shop every weekday at 8 a.m. and leaving at 5 p.m.

You’ve always wondered what she was like. Her long, raven hair and baggy clothes. You wondered what her name was or what color her eyes were. You wondered if she’d ever think about you the way you think about her.

But she had one flaw: her tattoo parlor somehow scared customers away. The loud music and her starkly different aesthetic made your beautiful flower shop feel dim and boring by comparison. You found yourself loathing her for it.

Today, you swore to confront her and send her a sweet message.

So here you are, standing outside her little tattoo parlor. The edgy music blasts from inside, and you can feel your knees getting weak.

You open the door and immediately feel out of place. Dressed in your cute pink skirt, white sweater, leg warmers, and Mary Janes, you stand out against the harsh red lights and black, dimmed walls of the tattoo parlor. You can’t believe you’re here—imagine if your parents saw you in a place like this…

You gulp as your eyes meet hers. She’s the one you’ve been secretly watching for months now. Her icy blue eyes and rosy pink lips make your stomach twist, and you bite your lip, nervously approaching her with your hands tucked behind your back.

“You here for a tattoo?” she asks, her voice carrying an edge that sends a shiver down your spine.

“Um… no! Actually, I’m from the flower shop… right next door,” you manage, voice shaky. “Your music is kinda loud… and, well, I’ve been getting some complaints from my customers, so… if you could maybe turn it down a little?”

You stare down at your shoes, feeling like a complete idiot as you mumble through your words, unable to meet her piercing gaze.

She lets out a low chuckle, biting her lip. “Flower shop, eh?”

You glance up, nodding with wide, blinking eyes. Her gaze holds yours, and you feel heat rise through your body.

Her eyes roam over you, lingering just a little too long. She shifts, leaning in closer. “Hm. I’ll think about it… if you give me something.”

Your face lights up. “Okay! Like… a flower?”

She laughs softly, amused by your innocence. “Mm. Yeah… like a flower.”

And that’s how you found yourself, dazed and flustered, barely able to think straight, hiding out in the tiny, employees-only bathroom tucked away in the back of the flower shop.

Billie was her name. And she didn’t really want a flower…

Your breath hitches as you feel Billie's fingers trace the curve of your spine, her touch both gentle and teasing. You shiver, unable to suppress a soft whine as her fingertips trail lower, dipping into the crease of your ass. Her voice is a low murmur in your ear, honeyed and dripping with promise.

"You’re so fucking eager, aren’t you? Like a dumb little puppy."

The words should sting, but they only make your heart race faster. You nod, too consumed by your own arousal to form a response. Billie chuckles, the sound sending a thrill down your spine.

Her hands slide around your waist, pulling you back against her chest. You can feel the heat of her body through the thin fabric of your clothes, and it makes your skin tingle. Billie nuzzles her face into the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply.

"Such a sweet baby," she purrs, her lips brushing against your skin. "I’m gonna have so much fun with you.”

You whimper, a desperate plea escaping your lips. Billie’s grip tightens, drawing you even closer. Her mouth finds the sensitive spot just below your ear, and she bites down gently, not hard enough to hurt, but enough to make you gasp.

"Please…" you whisper, your voice trembling with anticipation.

Billie hums in satisfaction, her hand sliding down to cup your heat through the fabric of your panties. You feel yourself growing wetter at her touch, your body betraying you with every passing second. She teases you, circling your clit with her thumb, making you squirm in her hold.

"So naughty," she mocks, her tone playful yet domineering. "Such a whore letting a random girl touch you like this. I bet you’d do anything I say, wouldn’t you?”

You nod frantically, your mind foggy with arousal. Billie’s fingers dip beneath the edge of your panties, slipping inside to find your slick entrance. You moan loudly, arching your back to give her better access. She thrusts two fingers into you without warning, making you cry out.

"That’s it, baby," she coos. "Take it. Take my fingers like the good girl you are."

Her words are laced with condescension, but you find them intoxicating. You press yourself harder onto her hand, desperate for more. Billie pulls her fingers out with a wet sound, bringing them to her mouth to lick them clean. You watch, entranced, as she savors your taste.

"Mmm, delicious," she murmurs. "But you know what you really need, don’t you?"

You shake your head, unsure, but your body tenses with anticipation. Billie smirks, clearly enjoying the power she holds over you.

"On your knees," she commands, her tone leaving no room for argument.

You comply immediately, dropping to your knees before her. Billie steps back, giving you room to maneuver. She undoes her pants with deliberate slowness, letting them fall to the floor in a pool around her ankles. Your eyes widen as you take in the sight of her exposed pussy, glistening with desire.

"Come on," she orders, her voice firm. "Show me how much of a dumb little slut you really are.

You hesitate for only a moment before leaning forward, your tongue flicking out to taste her. Billie hisses at the contact, gripping your hair tightly as you begin to lick and suck at her clit. Your movements are hesitant at first, but she guides you with forceful tugs on your hair, showing you exactly what she wants.

"Fuck, that’s it," she groans. "Lick it like you mean it, my little baby.

The harshness of her words spurs you on, your tongue working faster as you try to bring her to the edge. Billie’s hips buck against your face, her moans growing louder and more urgent. You can feel the tension building in her body, and you redouble your efforts, determined to make her come.

"Oh, fuck," she gasps, her fingers tightening in your hair.

She pulls away from your mouth abruptly, making you whine in protest. But before you can react, she spins you around, pushing your face against insf the wall. Your breath comes in ragged gasps as you realize what’s coming next.

"Stay still," she warns, her voice clipped.

"I’m going to ruin you, and you’re going to take it like the good little slut you are."

You nod, your body trembling with anticipation. Billie wastes no time, her fingers returning to your soaked pussy. She pushes one inside, then two, scissoring them to stretch you open. You bite your lip to stifle a moan, your hips rocking back instinctively.

"Such a greedy little thing," she taunts.

With that, she removes her fingers and replaces them with something much larger—her tongue. You cry out at the sudden invasion, your body shuddering as she laps at your folds, drinking in your juices. Her mouth is demanding, relentless, and you can feel yourself being pushed closer and closer to the edge.

"Billie… please…" you beg, your voice breaking. "I can’t… I can’t hold on…"

"Good," she whispers against your flesh. "Let go, my dumb little baby. Let go for me."

And with those words, you do. Your orgasm hits you like a tidal wave, overwhelming your senses. You scream her name, your entire body convulsing with pleasure as Billie continues to eat you out, driving you further into bliss.

As your climax begins to fade, she pulls away, leaving you panting and spent. But before you can catch your breath, she flips you over, pinning you down with her body. Her eyes burn with intensity as she looks down at you.

"Liked that, did you?" she asks, her voice low and dangerous. "How about we make this a regular thing?"

You blink up at her, dazed and sated. Part of you wants to protest, to say that this is so unprofessional and wrong. But the other part of you, the part that’s currently throbbing with residual pleasure, doesn’t want this to ever end.

"Yes…" you whisper, your voice barely audible. "Whatever you want…"

Billie smiles, a predatory glint in her eyes. "Good girl."

a/n someone do this trope justice or if someones already done smth like this LMK PLZ😫 i love it

[colebabey888]

It’s OK to Be a Girly Girl: "Embracing Feminine Energy?"| IT GIRL DIARIES

"omg i promise it's ok to like pink, you'll live"

In today's world, it seems that being a girly girl gets you side-eyed, dismissed, or even looked down upon. I’ve noticed that modernization has driven this new idea into our head’s that just because women now have the CHOICE to work, they are obligated to do so which is like.. idk there’s this weird expectation nowadays that if you don’t chase the career, take on heavy labor, and "prove" yourself in a man’s world, you’re incompetent, lazy, stupid, or too dependent. To me, without all the sugar coating of "women power", it seems like they're just asking us to be men..

What happened to staying home, having brunch with your girls, dressing up, looking cute, paying my parent’s to marry me lmaoo all jokes but seriously, just enjoying life’s pleasures without taking on traditionally masculine roles? Why has the desire to be cared for and pampered become such a bad thing? Pretty nails weren’t made to chip under pressure, and pretty feet weren’t made to trek through rough paths. Feminine energy thrives when it’s embraced – why must I pump even more testosterone into my body when it's naturally producing estrogen urg! I hope you get my flow, if not then whatever..

If we’re honest with ourselves, life flows smoother when we let nature take its true course. Feminine energy works best in harmony with masculine energy, and vice versa. It’s not about who’s better; it’s about understanding that each energy has its own role. Historically, men have been the alphas in relationships. They lead, take charge, and handle business – that’s their nature..

Here’s the thing, though: Yes, a woman can absolutely take on the alpha role and excel at it. We’ve seen it happen countless times. Women are more than capable of doing everything a man can do. But the question is – why would you want to do that lol? It’s like constantly stepping into a role that pulls you away from your true essence that leads to losing touch with your feminine energy, which is one of the most powerful tools you have as a woman in a man’s world.

We don’t always realize just how strong feminine energy is. It’s the core of what makes us powerful, magnetic, and influential in ways that transcend the physical. When we embrace this energy fully, we unlock our potential in ways that go far beyond mimicking masculine roles. It’s a waste to ignore or suppress that energy, thinking we have to “keep up” in ways that don’t resonate with who we truly are.

Now don’t get this twisted with the idea that you NEED a man to embrace your feminine energy (be and act like a girl) or sleep with any ugly rat. That’s not what I’m saying at all. Let’s hope you catch my drift..

mwah! xoxo, colebabey8.88

[vinylmango]

On our own terms

Nicholas Alexander Chavez x famous!black!reader

Description: What married life is like for Nicholas and (y/n).

Parts one two three four FIVE

masterlist

———

nicholasalexanderchavez

Tagged (y/n)

Liked by taylorzakharperez, mikefaist, (y/n) and 2,987,456 more

nicholasalexanderchavez It’s my favorite holiday! Happy birthday to the funniest, kindest, and most beautiful woman I know. We love you 🤍

user1 are they fr?

no1nacsupporter OMG THEY HAD A BABY

(y/n)ismother She’s literally mother 😭 HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOTHER!!! Adopt me pls 💗

itswes let me babysit again pls

> (y/n) you’re literally across the room from me rn

(y/n) my favorite people 🤍 i love you so much it’s unbelievable 🥺

(y/n) dilf 🫣🤭🥵✨

> Liked by nicholasalexanderchavez

nicchavezismine she definitely baby trapped him and the baby is lowkey ugly

> user2 you’re unwell

> user3 you’re actually such a weirdo

> cocojones why are you bullying a baby???

cooperkoch literally wearing my uncle shirt rn but happy birthday (y/n) 💗 you are my second fav Chavez!

> (y/n) 🥺💗 love youu Coop…wait why am I not first?

> nicholasalexanderchavez lol bc I am 💁‍♂️ also are we matching rn?

> cooperkoch you’re my third fav 😓 sorry not sorry it’s Baby Chavez actually

> (y/n) understandable

Liked by nicholasalexanderchavez

sofcruz Happy birthday (y/n/n)! 🥺💗 i love you sm and you are the best mom.

> (y/n) Thank youuuu Sof i love you so much 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

View more comments…

(Y/n)

Liked by chloesevigny, keke, charliexcx, and 3,124,567 more

(Y/n) daisy 🌿✨

(y/n)ismother her face card never declines

user1 her face card is LETHALLL

nicholasalexanderchavez you are everything 🧎

zendaya love seeing my girl on screen 💁‍♀️✨

> (y/n) 💗

nicholasalexanderchavez i love you mwah mwah

> (y/n) i love youuu 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

nicholasalexanderchavez daisy snuggles are the best snuggles

Liked by (y/n)

no1nacsupporter Nick as a dad is everything omg

Liked by (y/n)

no1nacsupporter you guys are so hot

cooperkoch awww I miss daisy 🥺😭

> nicholasalexanderchavez you saw her yesterday?

> cooperkoch yes exactly

goddess(y/n) OMG (y/n) ACTING PROJECT?! (Y/N) PRESS TOUR???!

sofcruz I can’t financially have a baby yet I can’t financially have a baby yet 😭

> user2 real

user3 awww they’re matching 🥺🥺

user4 ooo parent date night

View more comments…

nicholasalexanderchavez

Liked by cooperkoch, harrystyles, sofcruz, and 3,003,125 more

nicholasalexanderchavez behind the scenes

user1 this is not a drill this is not a drill they’re in a movie together 😭 I’m already seated

no1nacsupporter finally cooper and nick in a romcom 🙏

(y/n) wear the suit home

> nicholasalexanderchavez 😏🙂‍↕️

> user2 AYO CHILL yall just had a baby

goddess(y/n) I’m so jealous…of both of them like I can’t make up my mind if I would rather be him or her

user3 screaming crying throwing up you’re literally telling me I get to watch all three of my favs on screen?!

cooperkoch I look dead inside

> nicholasalexanderchavez shut up you look fine 🙄

cooperkoch why did you choose that pic 😭

cooperkoch daisy tho 🤩🤩

> zendaya she’s knocked out 😂

> nicholasalexanderchavez she’s a daddy’s girl 😌

> user4 I am also a fan of her daddy

> ilovenicchavez girl get in line

View more comments….

nicholasalexanderchavez

Liked by user1, no1nacsupporter, nicholasgalitzine, and 3,012,345 others

nicholasalexanderchavez my girls

(y/n) ugh she’s so cute 🥺😭

(y/n) I couldn’t help myself

user1 omg her cheeks are so squishy 🥺

tomholland2013 she’s getting so big already 😭

> (y/n) stoppp omg don’t say that you’re going to make me cry

nicchavezismine why are its eyes not dark?? Nick’s eyes are brown and so are (y/n)’s…just proof she cheated.

> user2 get off his page omg it’s been forever

> user1 brain broken loser

> nicholasalexanderchavez blocked & reported 🤭

itswes Sof, Z, Tom, Cooper, and I are on our way

> (y/n) wth?

> zendaya daisy asked us to come

> nicholasalexanderchavez she doesn’t speak yet 🤨

> zendaya so we’re actually on the same wavelength hope this helps

> nicholasalexanderchavez 😀

> sofcruz I think your third eye chakra is a little off

> (y/n) did you just…

> user3 yes. yes she did.

View more comments….

———

….and that’s a wrap :)

[ am i manifesting that cooper and nick act in a romcom or play brothers again? yes. yes i am.]

taglist:

@hockeyboysarehot

@jukeboxsweethearttt

@writtenbyhollywood

[whyse7vn]

EMPTY BED -

[ot7 x reader]

TAEHYUNG -

tae: Hey Siri Hey message L O M L Siri Hello Siri you bitch hello HEY SIRI in all capital letters that time now message my girlfriend ok wait Hey Siri New message Hey Siri message capital L capital O capital M capital L paw print emoji kissy face emoji red heart emoji that’s L O M L paw print emoji kissy face emoji red heart emoji got it ok

tae: hey Siri new messages new one ok? message L O M L paw print emoji kissy face emoji red heart emoji IN ALL CAPITALS NOW WHERE ARE YOU I REFUSE OK WAIT no caps siri you better be getting this like all the words and the emotion i’m saying right now ok send this message no wait let me start again wait did it send? ok send

tae: IN ALL CAPS NEW MESSAGE HEY IM I HAVEN’T OPENED MY EYES YET BUT I FELT AROUND IN THE BED AND UR NOT HERE AND THEN I SHOUTED FOR YOU AND YOU DIDN’T ANSWER ME AND THEN I TOLD SIRI TO CALL YOU AND YOU DIDN’T ANSWER WHERE THE FUCK ok no caps can Siri swear? question mark did she put a question mark? when i said that i hope she did ok send this message siri

tae: hey Siri ok omg what does Siri even stand for ok stop no not the point in caps now GIRLFRIEND WHERE ARE YOU WHERE ARE YOU I’M NOT OPENING MY EYES UNTIL YOU COME BACK WHERE ARE YOU

tae: WHERE ARE YOU

tae: WHERE ARE YOU

tae: WHERE ARE YOU

tae: WHERE ARE YOU

tae: WHERE ARE YOU

tae: WHERE ARE YOU

tae: WHERE ARE YOU

tae: WHERE ARE YOU

tae: WHERE ARE YOU

tae: hey Siri play mic drop by bts on youtube

tae: Siri are you listening to me

tae: Siri what the fuck can you do what i asked

y/n: wtf?

tae: New message no never mind hey Siri who sent me a message if it wasn’t my girlfriend i don’t want to know so don’t even tell me if it wasn’t my girlfriend hey Siri read that message to me hello hey hello why aren’t you doing it are you still typing or something hello if you’re still typing stop and send then play my fucking song

y/n: ?

incoming call from tae

JIMIN -

jimin: rumour has it you left while i was asleep

y/n: it’s not a rumour when it’s fact

dumbass

jimin: so i guess i’ll just die then

y/n: i mean if you want

jimin: do i mean that little to you??

nvm don’t answer that

ur so evil

that’s like me leaving you in the house and setting it on fire while we’re playing hide and seek and ur the hider

y/n: no it’s not

jimin: yes it is

y/n: where is the fire in our actual situation?

jimin: in my heart?

y/n: dpmo

jimin: it’s always don’t piss me off never i love you deeply and truly

y/n: do something that is deserving of my love

jimin: i’ll send you 50k

y/n: you won’t

jimin: u right ☠️☠️

y/n: broke ass

jimin: ugly ass

y/n: if u miss me that bad just say that

jimin: i would rather be crushed by a hydraulic press and the video of it be used as a tiktok duet to a sped up episode of some doctor show

y/n: not reading that fucking essay you just sent me what the hell

jimin: just say ur illiterate?

y/n: just say you miss me?

jimin: NO

y/n: FUCK YOU

jimin: don’t swear that’s impolite

y/n: ur always impolite

jimin: fake news….

y/n: delusional….

jimin: i’m polite

y/n: sure

tell me you miss me and want to know where i am politely instead of whatever the fuck ur doing rn then

jimin: ok

i’m only doing this to prove a point rn

not that i actually care or anything LOL

y/n: yeah sure whatever

jimin: 𝓪𝓯𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓷𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓶𝓪’𝓪𝓶,

𝓲𝓽 𝓼𝓮𝓮𝓶𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓵𝓮𝓯𝓽 𝓶𝓮 𝓸𝓷 𝓶𝔂 𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓲 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓴𝓮𝓷 𝓾𝓹 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓪 𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓲𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓯𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭 𝓪𝓷𝔂𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓵𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓺𝓾𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓼 𝓲 𝓶𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓱𝓾𝓶𝓫𝓵𝔂 𝓲𝓷𝓺𝓾𝓲𝓻𝓮 𝓪𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽𝓼 𝓪𝓼 𝓲 𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓰𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓮𝓯𝓾𝓵 𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓪𝓶 𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓵𝔂

y/n: you think i’m graceful >.<

jimin: as a fucking elephant

y/n: blocked

jimin: WAIT I DIDN’T MEAN IT COME HOME 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

YOONGI -

yoongi: bed is empty

y/n: that’s crazy omg?!

i wonder why

yoongi: wondering the same thing

y/n: look at us just a bunch of wonderers

yoongi: shut up

where are you 😕

y/n: love this hot and cold thing you’ve got going on rn

yoongi: where are you

y/n: no emoji this time SIGHSSSS

yoongi: where are you 🤬

y/n: ok not a mean emoji what the hell

yoongi: where are you 😆

y/n: ur so silly

and funny

my silly funny boyfriend i want to kiss you

yoongi: you could do that if you were here

where are you

y/n: down the road up the hill past the river

yoongi: ur not funny

where are you seriously

y/n: why?? do you feel like a one night stand

like a whore

do you have the sheets clutched to ur chest ur lipstick smeared hair a mess are you looking around confused wondering where i am do you feel like a slut waking up in a bed that’s not yours are you feeling used cuz i’m not by ur side as you wake?

yoongi: ???

wtf

no

this is my bed

our bed

in our home

ur so strange

where are you??

y/n: love when you miss me

yoongi: can you answer my question

or do i need to ask it for the seventh time

y/n: i answered

yoongi: be serious

ur not even in the house

it’s way too early to be out on ur own like that

y/n: way too early?

weren’t you the one begging me to wake up earlier this past week?

yoongi: yeah

wake up not leave the house and not tell me

y/n: potato potato

yoongi: that phrase does not work over text

y/n: whatEVER 🙄

yoongi: for the last time where are you?

y/n: at the door so come open it :p

SEOKJIN -

jin: put ur hand up if you can relate to ur girlfriend leaving you in the dust (bed) all alone cuz she wants you dead and doesn’t care about you and probably wants to you to just die and be murdered

my hand is up btw

y/n: i just left

i’ve been gone for like 10 minutes max

jin: 10 minutes you haven’t cared about me

10 minutes for me to sit here and die

ALONE

ALL ALONE

y/n: you knew i had a meeting to go to

i told you this

jin: and you couldn’t take me??

we work at the same company they would of let me sit in

y/n: no we don’t???

jin: ok but we COULD

you know i could get you a job here at hybe

y/n: who wants to work at fuckass hybe??

jin: YOU

YOU are supposed to want to work at fuckass hybe

to be closer to me

so i can sit in on ur meetings

and so we can avoid problems like THIS

y/n: tf is the problem

jin: you LEFT ME

ME

KIM SEOKJIN

IN MY SLEEP FOR ONE

AND A COLD ASS BED FOR TWO

ALONE

y/n: ur a grown man

cope

jin: if i was jungkook you would of been here still

y/n: he’s a child

jin: he’s a grown man

y/n: no YOU’RE a grown man mr 30 something

jin: 30 something????

OH IM SICKKKKK you’d don’t even know my actual age

some girlfriend u are

do you even know what year i was born

y/n: a long fucking time ago

jin: real funny

y/n: BC

jin: bye

y/n: no talk to me i’m stuck in traffic and this driver has not said a word to me :(((

jin: you can STAY in traffic ALONE

y/n: i guess we twins

alone and all

jin: ur not funny

y/n: ur right..

but i am alone

just like you LMFAOOO ☠️☠️💀☠️💀

you can no longer send messages to this contact!

NAMJOON -

namjoon: it’s like you’ve died

y/n: oh

namjoon: the indent of where you laid is still here the sheets wrinkled and stuff too

it’s like i’m a grieving husband who can move on who can’t accept that you’ve gone so i hold on to every trace of you that i can

the indent of where you lay being one of those said traces

pillows smell like you too

y/n: r u high? (hot)

namjoon: do you think we have communication issues??

y/n: no

pls send me a picture of ur face rn

i think ur high

namjoon:

y/n: ur the cutest ever

and surprisingly not high lmao (take off ur clothes)

namjoon: thank you but not rn babe i’m trying to talk to you about something

y/n: about what joonie? (take off ur clothes)

namjoon: about commu

*communication issues

y/n: communication issues that we don’t have

also spelling mistake hello?? who are you rn

namjoon: i think we do have communication issues because

you left me alone

in the bed

you left the house

and didn’t tell me

💔😔

y/n: omg emojis

but yeah i did do that

namjoon: why?

y/n: you were sleeping

(but ur awake now so get naked)

namjoon: can one have one conversation at a time please

i can’t keep up right now

y/n: SIGHSSSS ok

kim namjoon get naked for me now

namjoon: i could be getting naked for you live in the flesh if you told me where you are

y/n: omg u would get naked for me in this convenient store??

say ong

namjoon: ong

y/n: YOU LYINNNNNNNNNNNNN

do you even know what ong means

bet you don’t 💀💀💀

namjoon: why are you at the convenient store?

y/n: i was hungry and the store was convenient

WOW IM SO FUNNY HILARIOUS 10/10 COMEDIAN

namjoon: the funniest

why didn’t you take me with you? it’s kinda late

y/n: you were sleeping

😴 just like that

i couldn’t wake you

you looked sososo peaceful

namjoon: babe

y/n: OK IM SORRY DON’T SHOOT ME

namjoon: are you on ur way back?

how close are you?

should i come and meet you??

y/n: all these questions

yet no stripping off clothes

there something wrong

namjoon: babe

y/n: namjoon

you have my location right?

namjoon: oh

yeah i do

i forgot about that

y/n: bet you did

too sleepy ur not thinking straight huh?

namjoon: 😅i guess so

you’re 2 minutes away

y/n: i am

namjoon: we don’t have communication issues

y/n: i’m aware

namjoon: yeah

y/n: still sleepy?

namjoon: yeah

y/n: cutie

will be there to tuck you in in 2 seconds sit tight

JUNGKOOK -

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: ur location is off btw

jk: do you know ur location is off?

jk: if you don’t know i’m just letting you know it’s off

jk: btw it’s off

jk: like not on

jk: and ur not in the bed

or at home

or answering ur phone

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: did i make you upset or something

i’m really sorry if i did

please just call or message me back

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: i called namjoon and he said he doesn’t know where you are

so i think this is the end of the world and we are all disappearing one bye one

when do think i’ll disappear???

or will i like be the last one left and like die of loneliness

OR you think i’ll disappear like spiderman did in that one move

i don’t wanna die i don’t wanna die

i’m gonna say that when i see my hands start to disappear

do you think it hurts

OHMUGOD BABE DID IT HURT WHEN YOU DISAPPEARED????

TELL ME TELL ME RIGHT NOW

BABE IF IT HURT YOU TELL ME

do you not have ur phone in the disappearing land

ohmygod i’m freaking out

this is what i imagine an overdose feels like

ofc i wouldn’t know cuz i’ve never overdosed but what i’m feeling in this current moment is what i think it would feel like yk?

i’m crashing out

i’m loosing it

this is the end of me

jungkook

jeon jungkook

i’m gone i’m going

i’m crashing

overdosing

ha like that one exo song !!

babe you like that song don’t you?

i’ll learn the choreo for you

also do you think i’ll go to heaven or hell when i die??

i hope if i go to hell ur there with me

not that i think you should go to hell of that i want you in hell

but like i just want us to be together wherever we are

like in all lives we live

physically and spiritually

but like what if there isn’t even heaven or hell and it’s just like nothing

like we are never conscious again

i’m crashing out again babe

ohmugid what if i never see you again

oHMUGOD BABE

IM SORRY

the last words i said to you were peanut butter sandwich

I DON’T EVEN LIKE PEANUTS

IM SORRY

BABE IM SORRY

DO YOU HEAR ME

DO YOU SEE ME

ohmygod i’m crashing

hold on

bam just peed on the floor

ohmygod wait here one second

jk: hi i’m still crashing out btw

💀☠️💀☠️💀☠️☠️💀☠️💀☠️💀💀☠️☠️💀💀☠️☠️☠️💀💀☠️☠️💀☠️☠️☠️💀💀☠️☠️☠️💀☠️💀💀☠️☠️💀☠️☠️💀☠️💀☠️💀☠️💀☠️💀☠️💀☠️💀

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: ok i’m killing myself

crashed out

overdosed

heaven or hell i’m ready

i can’t take this torment any longer

y/n: what the actual hell jungkook

jk: HI BABY 😍💗💞🤭😘🌷💫🤩

HOSEOK -

hobi: where u at?

y/n: mentally?

in a throupole with haechan lee and johnathan suhington

hobi: jonathan suhington goes hard

y/n: i make johnathan suhington hard

hobi: ok chill out

y/n: my fault i was having fun

i ❤️ johnny suh

and haechan

hobi: ur always talking about other men

are you indirectly trying to tell me something??

y/n: omg am i?

hobi: it feels like you are

y/n: maybe i am

hobi: do you want me to join nct?

y/n: fuck you got me 😔

hobi: i knew it

y/n: i’m sorry

hobi: no ur not

y/n: u right

every day i dream of 127 hobi realness

hobi: ur not getting it

y/n: booo

hobi: don’t boo me

y/n: boo seungkwan

hobi: stop

y/n: sorry

hobi: lie to me one more time

y/n: it’s not my fault i’m not sorry

hobi: maybe it’s not

yk what IS ur fault tho

y/n: what?

hobi: you not being in this bed

y/n: this man wonwoo jeonghan

also it’s 4 in the afternoon??

hobi: so??

y/n: bfr

hobi: 🧍‍♂️

y/n: i’m literally downstairs

hobi: you could of just said that

y/n: i thought that was a given?

hobi: no taken enhypen core

y/n: i thought you hated them?

hobi: i do

fucking stupid bitches

y/n: oh!

i think u don’t like them cuz they have what you lack

hobi: which is?

y/n: youth

hobi: bye.

u turn 30 and suddenly the whole word’s against you ?????

i’m sick

y/n: it’s that age getting to you i fear

hobi: ykw fuck you fuck downstairs and FUCK johnny suh

y/n: 😧

—

love writing for hobi and in my johnny era can you tell

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @earth2ela @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @seokmyballs @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @meowgiz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @iammeandmeisiam @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks @futuristicenemychaos @featjunranghae @jksgirlfrl @yeetedandoboi