#''omg why lol ugly'' :///

[damian-lil-babybat]

'Dead Poets Society' gang

Headcanon that these four drop poetry and literature quotes on their conversations unprompted.

Jason 'English-major-I-only-visit-the-manor-for-the-library' Todd-Wayne

Damian 'I-master-liberal-arts-unlike-you-plebs-PHD-holder' al Ghul-Wayne

Cassandra 'I-learn-English-thru-Shakespeare-as-god-intended' Cain-Wayne

Duke 'only-title-holder-of-vigilante-poet-and-will-cuss-you-just-as-poetically' Thomas-(future) Wayne

[biitchcakes]

SPIDER-WOMAN TROPES .

The Sacrifice of Hair / The Important Haircut .

To save her life and Lindsay's, Jessica must tear at own hair. Hair that we have watched grow over the last couple of years as she discovers who she is, learns what it's like to be human. What it's like to be free from Hydra's control. It goes from its natural blonde into its since signature black. It's been a part of her journey, and her literally ripping it apart here comes just two issues before her death ⸺⸺ and subsequent REBIRTH.

( the video that got me thinking about it )

[rockoblanco]

i hate anyone who tries to haggle with me tbh

[lockedtowers]

seeing ppl in the tags super used to the j/apperwock(y) in b/urton's alice and then getting mad at how 'ugly' the s/yfy version is is absolutely hilarious to me bc the s/yfy version is literally just lifted from the original illustrations

[pha55ed]

All I Want For Christmas || F1/F2

type :: fluff

tw/cw :: sexual jokes

contains :: carlos, charles, lando, oscar, ollie, paul, pepe

summary :: they hard launch you on insta! yay!

xmas celly here! || f1 masterlist || f2 masterlist

Carlos Sainz | 55

carlossainz55 : my most expensive gift to myself! love you forever @.yourusername

→ user 01: Con😭grad😭u😭lations

⎯→ user 02: we never had a chance... 😭😭

→ yourusername: mwah <3 love you forever

⎯→ user 03: what about me :(

⎯→ user 04: let her go bro... she's gone 😭

→ alexandrasaintmleux: so cute! 🩷

⎯→ yourusername: not as cute as you 😉

⎯→ user 05: the prettiest wags ever

Charles Leclerc | 16

charles_leclerc : my biggest win yet @.yourusername

→ user 01: GAWWDAAAMNN how does he find the most gorgeous women ever

⎯→ yn_hater: she doesn't compare to alex tho :/

⎯→ yn_biggest_fan: 43°44′5″N 7°25′14″E and you still live with ur mom 🤣

→ yourusername: no need to lie in ur caption but thank you love

⎯→ user 02: i would never lie to u, just saying. (I'm 6'3)

→ oscarpiastri: welcome to the fam 👏

⎯→ yourusername: gonna be an evil step mom to u >:D

⎯→ oscarpiastri: but you're my real mom

⎯→ yourusername: andddd now i feel bad 😭

Lando Norris | 04

landonorris : how i sleep knowing @.yourusername is protecting me

→ user 01: once again a beautiful girl with an ugly man

⎯→ user 02: a beautiful girl with a funny* rich* talented* and hot* man

→ maxfewtrell: so this is how i find out i'm being cheated on

⎯→ yourusername: 🫵🤣 LOL

⎯→ user 03: the girls are fightinggggg

→ user 04: lando is confirmed a pillow princess???

⎯→ yourusername: only the best for him

Oscar Piastri | 81

oscarpiastri: just a chill guy with a not very chill girl @.yourusername

→ user 01: why would u post the 3rd photo 😭😭

⎯→ user 02: i think thats her crying after he won in baku??

⎯→ user 03: but why is the photo taken in her house then???

⎯→ yourusername: can't a girl be proud (i was crying for 3 hours still)

→ user 04: literally the nonchalant x chalant trope

→ charles_leclerc: congrats to you both! ❤️

⎯→ user 05: AWW OMG this is so cute

→ yourusername: when i come home i want u oiled up on my bed

⎯→ user 06: OH...!

⎯→ user 07: no one will match her freak

Oliver Bearman | 87

olliebearman: yes the pizza is armed... jk love you @.yourusername

→ user 01: Ollie if you hurt her....

⎯→ user 02: I think we should be worried FOR him

→ yourusername: who are you...

⎯→ user 03: ikrrrrr hes sooo weirddddd, come home to me instead!!!!

→ kimi.antonelli: congrats mate! blink twice for help!

⎯→ yourusername: I know where you live.

→ user 04: I love beautiful crazy girls <3 she's so valid

Paul Aron | 17

paularon_: my biggest inspiration and supporter @.yourusername

→ yourusername: can't wait to boost the estonian population with you <3

⎯→ user 01: mind you, it's 8am when i opened my phone

→ user 02: they're so fucking beautiful, i can't even blame (y/n) for being horny

⎯→ user 03: their kids will be the prettiest ever

→ user 04: I KNEW THEY WERE DATING OMFGGGG I KNEW IT

→ dinobeganovic: GET A ROOM U FREAKS!!! (happy for you both!)

⎯→ pepemartiofficial: AGREED! (congrats mate!)

⎯→ yourusername: FUCK YOU GUYS!!!! (thanks guys)

Pepe Marti | 21

pepemartiofficial: BREAKING: proud to anounce that i will be with extending my contract with (y/n) for another year @.yourusername

→ yourusername: only a one year extension??? fake asf

⎯→ chirstian.mansell: cause he's transferring to me after one year

⎯→ yourusername: enjoy my sloppy seconds

⎯→ gabyprentice_: its okay bby u can come with me

→ user 01: praying on their downfall purely so i can have a shot with (y/n)

→ user 02: yet another tall lanky awkward man with a beautiful girlfriend

⎯→ user 03: (y/n) has always been into awkward men, not a surprise

→ user 04: Can't wait to see her face in the paddock, her face card is LETHAL

[literallycryingggg]

.

[yeahxsurexokay13]

bragger, lando norris

summary: fans constantly tease yn for always bringing lando up and being a bit of a simp for her boyfriend - which only gets worse after his first f1 win - so she writes a song about how if they were her they'd do the same.

warnings: none i think??? but let me know if i missed any. the song mentioned is 'bragger' by kelsea ballerini!! (((:

IN HONOUR OF LANDO'S VERY FIRST WIN !! 🥇

y/n.updates

Liked by fan22 and 1.340 others

y/n.updates Y/n's interview with WIRED where she answers the web's most searched questions about her is now out! Go give it a watch 😄

view all 208 comments

fan1 she looked painfully beautiful in this

fan2 how was lando in the answer for questions like 'does y/n speak spanish?' or 'is y/n a good singer?' lol

fan7 she said she didn't remember much from high school but knew some words lando had been taught by carlos sainz and that her boyfriend tells her she is... it kind of isn't that weird if u think about it haha

user1 The more I see of her, the more I like her

fan7 i spy with my little eye 1.6K people with no taste

fan3 interview was everything I hoped for and more! she's hilarious and relatable as always

fan4 new drinking game: take a shot every time she mentions lando

fan5 I've watched it like 5 times already lol

fan6 we need a tally for how many times Y/n drops 'Lando' in her interviews. can someone make that happen?

y/n.y/l

Liked by carlossainz55 and 1.890.321 others

y/n.y/l the vibe i bring to the function (ugly crying on facetime) !!! so incredibly happy for you @/landonorris. you did it 🧡🧡🧡

view all 3.501 comments

y/n.y/l also congrats @/oscarpiastri and everyone else at mclaren for an amazing race ((((:

oscarpiastri thank you Y/n! 🧡 ❤️ by author

landofan4 ok this is very cute and nice of her🥺🥺

fan1 ARE YOU STILL CRYING ? BECAUSE I AM DEFINITELY STILL CRYING

y/n.y/l started crying on lap 54 and haven't stopped since

fan2 new post from my fave lando norris fan account yay (also go lando!!!!!!)

user1 Well deserved 👏🏼👏🏼

landofan3 soy lago

y/n.y/l same

lnfour LFGGGG ❤️ by author

fan3 How many times do you think Y/n's going to mention Lando's win in the next week? Taking bets now

maxfewtrell It's the messy hair and smudged mascara for me

y/n.y/l knew i should've gone for the 'perfectly composed while crying' look instead 😔

landofan1 rip lando nowins: 2019-2024 ❤️ by author

landofan2 "you were scared? i wasn't. i was ok (laughs). thank you. i love you" lando 🥹🥹🥹

fan5 when did he say that? omg

landofan2 f1 posted a reel on their profile and you can hear him talking to her!

mclaren LANDO NORRIS IS A FORMULA 1 RACE WINNER 🏆

y/n.y/l I AM SO NOT CALM ABOUT THIS ??!!?

user2 i could've sworn i saw her at the race? why are they facetiming?

fan4 they could barely speak after the win tbh! this is probably a call in between interviews

user2 today's bottle smash hit different ❤️ by author

landonorris I've said this like a million times already today but I love you so much

y/n.y/l i love you i love you i love you i love you

y/n.y/l

Liked by pietra.pilao and 1.809.896 others

y/n.y/l if he was yours, you'd do the same without apologising... new single 'bragger' out now!!!! 💋💋

view all 3.890 comments

fan6 WHAT HAPPENED TO HWLLO ?? HOW ARE YIU ??

y/n.y/l 🫢🫢

fan1 "he's just too damn good not to mention" .....................i mean she is right we'll give that to her ❤️ by author

landofan1 USING THESE SPECIFIC PICS OF LANDO TO ANNOUNCE THE RELEASE OF A SINGLE ABOUT BRAGGING ABOUT HIM IS WILD !!!!

landofan5 that last video is doing things to me.........

landonorris i'm confused does anyone know who this is about?

y/n.y/l no idea 🤷🏽‍♀️ but let me know if you find out xx

landofan4 apparently about some guy named bob?? I'm not sure

fan8 HAHAHA I LOVE THEM

fan2 she really wanted to make sure she'd made her point clear with this dump omfg

fan3 her point: she has a hot bf and we don't

user1 Well played, Y/N. Well played. 🥸

fracisca.cgomes On repeat ❤️❤️

y/n.y/l lindaaaaaaa ❤️

landofan2 knowing all she's saying is about lando makes the song x1000 times better

fan7 so she saw the tweets... 😐

y/n.y/l i saw everything 👀 they were actually hard to miss hahaha

user2 "i understand why you would want him (i don't mind)" queen behaviour !!!!!! 👑👑

fan4 So this is how she gets back at us for all the teasing lol not complaining at all

landofan3 I can't believe this new song is actually inspired by the fans' teasing about Lando!!🤣

fan5 we joked, she delivered!!! bragger is actually a banger👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[fruitsofhell]

@fecto-forgo You are the first person I've seen who expresses this fear besides me!! It's so hard to explain because Mago Epilogue was such a net positive to a lot of people who just wanted to see more Magolor, but at the same time there are so many weird quirks to the writing that feel inconsistent with the usually more carefully written lore stuff that it's been driving me insanehfhdh.

The Clash thing (as well as decanonization of him being from Halcandra but idk how you feel about that) feel like very out of left field twists that serve more as surprises than well-written plot beats. Thought ATLEAST Clash's thing with the apple feels somewhat thematically coherent? But still, I miss the idea of the park being how he redeemed himself as was the idea since the 20th Anniversay game.

Goofy ah Forgotten Land essay incoming:

It took me till like a week ago to realize that KATFL writes Elfilis and Forgo as being the same characters and I don't know how to feel about that. I feel Forgo is more interesting as it's own being the way Elfilin is from 'Lis, because I like the idea of them both being these smaller figments of the past self reduced to childish forms representing absolutes of the original. But at the same time, what made me realize that this isn't the game's intention is when I was going to say something about how hollow Elfilis is as a character in comparison to Forgo.

So really, you either make Forgo and Elfilis effectively one character and Elfilin another, negating Forgo of its own identity as a pathetic pitiable beast so that Elfilis continues to have a presence - or you make all three of them seperate characters, and Elfilis loses what they gain as a character from Forgo's motivations.

Elfilis has not a single defined motive for why it attacked the people of the Forgotten Land very much unlike other Kirby villains who can atleast say something like, "power/gain (Magolor), vanity/power (Sectonia), greed (Haltmann), or vengeance (Hyness)". Elfilis and Forgo are often described as invasive species, but what that entails isn't obvious because all we know about 'Lis' evil intentions is from Forgo. But Forgo has its own motivations that exist outside of Elfilis' original wishes - that being its captivity in Lab Discovera, which is very strong on its own.

It adds a very engaging sense of darkness to the legacy of the Forgotten Land, and makes you pity and understand its raw animosity as much as you wish to defend the world from it. The fact that Elfilis was a violent invader rather than just some other alien adds little to its motive, but does add thematic garnish to the idea of how alien life has approached the Forgotten Land. But at the same time, Forgo's captivity is such a strong motivator it really could have stood on its own and still been effective as an alien antithesis to Kirby... Though I admit not as much as what Elfilis is.

Probably to most people that have been reading straight from the games intentions, the former sounds more appealing than the latter. But, probably due to my own stubbornness and bias I really really do love them being 3 seperate entities even at the expense of depth for Elfilis. Because one of my favorite reoccurring themes in this series is vain idealization of the past fucking villains over.

I like this in Taranza's devotion to a Sectonia that no longer exists, Susie to a father that has long since been lost in his own mad schemes to find her, and Hyness obsessing over a very flawed understanding of his cult's past. And I USED TO LIKE the idea that Magolor's obsession with the crown was him, as a *Halcandran* glorifying Halcandra's past relics, but CANT HAVE THAT ANYMORE.

If the Kirby writers don't got me anymore, I guess I'll got myself. I like the idea of Forgo being as seperate from Elfilis as 'Lin is, but while Elfilin is all of their originals innocence, purity, and hope, Forgo is its raw anger and vengefulness. Visually taking Elfilis's soft/mammalian and alien/insectoid motifs respectively, but both distinctly being immature and incomplete states. Elfilis was not just that anger nor just that hope (wherever it came from), and is only the culmination of those two sides, it's a symbol of a self the two can never be on their own - one that Forgo idealizes and one Elfilin avoids.

For the sake of the ending where Elfilin reclaims the last bit of Forgo/Elfilis that is willing to go on, I prefer the mutuality of Forgo and Elfilin moving on together, rather than Elfilin just accepting Elfilis if that makes ANY sense. I just like the way Forgo and Elfilin parallel eachother more than he does with 'Lis? I like the narrative of healing that acknowledges that Forgo and Elfilin are both lost and grieving children, rather than Elfilin abandoned Elfilis who then became Forgo. Like the latter feels oddly possessive and unbalanced.

And as I said in line with past series themes, I kinda like the idea that whatever the fuck Elfilis had going on is irrelevant, just as seeing the faces of the people of the Forgotten Land is irrelevant - all that is relevant is what was left behind. I like the idea that Elfilis cannot really speak for itself anymore as a character the way the people of the Forgotten Land can only speak through their ruins and audio recordings. And as those people left behind a legacy of reclaimed wonder and terrible cruelty, in response, Elfilis left behind one of innocent hope and unbridled anger. I'd prefer to try and piece together what those two opposing visions say of their predecessor than just assume one speaks for them in its entirely I s'pose...

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙days like these | DR3˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: daniel ricciardo x y/n reader (she/her)

genre: social media au, established relationship

warnings: random fluffy shite

summary: in which you're so active on social media and your fans eat it up

a/n: kind of the daniel version of This Fic i made from a lando request !!!

fc: various brunette girls from pinterest

my masterlist

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1, and 332,782 others

yourusername your favs

tagged: danielricciardo

view all 3,193 comments

maxverstappen1 neither of you are my favourites

yourusername you stink + no one asked + ratio + my bf is hotter than urs

maxverstappen1 what are you saying to me right now

yourusername you heard me

danielricciardo hahahahah

maxverstappen1 daniel tell your girlfriend to leave me alone please

yourusername this is literally my post

user3 y/n is the funniest & best wag tbh she's literally right she is our fav

user4 im in love with u

danielricciardo wow you are gorgeous and amazing

yourusername i know right

user5 i love them so bad

twitter ->

instagram ->

danielricciardo

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 881,034 others

danielricciardo girl is always eating

tagged: yourusername

view all 12,729 comments

yourusername what is wrong with you

danielricciardo huh??

yourusername WHY WOULD YOU POST THESE UGLY ASS PICS OF ME

danielricciardo wtf you literally look hot as hell

maxverstappen1 😂😂😂

yourusername i know you aint laughing at me sloth verstappen

maxverstappen1 🤐🤐🤐

user9 how can someone still look this hot whilst eating

user10 omg i love her

user11 now this is why she's everyone's fav wag

user12 reason 10292 more like

francisca.cgomes how did you bag such a hottie

danielricciardo ask myself this everyday

yourusername OMG KIKA im blushing

danielricciardo wow she doesnt care when i compliment her

francisca.cgomes what can i say 🤷‍♀️

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, danielricciardo, and 289,061 others

yourusername beach day with my gf

tagged: francisca.cgomes

view all 6,293 comments

pierregasly ???

yourusername and what do u want

pierregasly my girlfriend back?

yourusername not right now, sorry

francisca.cgomes the girls are fighting over mee

user16 I LOVE THEMMM OMG

user17 wag besties 🥹

francisca.cgomes i love u

yourusername i love you

danielricciardo so this is why u didnt text me back today

yourusername I DROPPED MY PHONE IN THE SEA OK

maxverstappen1 😂😂😂

yourusername next time i see u it's on site

maxverstappen1 😰

user18 hahaha max never says a word and still gets roasted

maxverstappen1

liked by landonorris, kellypiquet, and 917,892 others

maxverstappen1 Cool 😎

view all 11,013 comments

user19 IS THAT DANIEL & Y/N IN THE LAST SLIDE

user20 LOL more comments about y/n than max himself

kellypiquet ❤️❤️

liked by maxverstappen1

user29 Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N ‼️

yourusername obsessed with my man much

maxverstappen1 i'll block you

yourusername booooooo max verstappen booooooooo tomatoes tomatoes

danielricciardo be nice y/n

yourusername no

maxverstappen1 what is wrong with her

user30 i cant tell if y/n actually has real beef with max or not 😭😭

user31 surely not hahah she's literally in his photo dump

twitter ->

instagram ->

danielricciardo

liked by yourusername, francisca.cgomes, and 771,829 others

danielricciardo my woman

tagged: yourusername

view all 8,183 comments

user35 bet he's sucking up to her

user36 awww the flower in the plastic cup

user37 the bows on the uggs she's just a girl fr

yourusername i havent forgotten what you said daniel

danielricciardo im sorry for calling you unemployed even though you are

yourusername right.

maxverstappen1 a taste of your own medicine for once

*comment deleted by maxverstappen1*

yourusername i saw that maxverstappen1

maxverstappen1 saw what

user37 boooo we want y/n & daniel fluff

danielricciardo she wont love me anymore

user38 get her some flowers or something daniel

user39 yea man up

yourusername 🤔

danielricciardo give the people what they want

yourusername fine i forgive u. and i love u

danielricciardo ! i love you so much

user40 and the crowd goes wild!!!

THE END ❤️

[newtkive]

shift shenanigans - s1 social media au

note: jus for fun ! may or may not do more parts.

warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes from richie sry

part two

liked by syd_adamu, marcus.brooks11 and 30 others

chefboyardee: my friends! i love my friends! the two on the right more than the left (i’m joking i promise) 😁😁😁😁

see all 8 comments

syd_adamu: brave of you to call him your friend y/n

↳ chefboyardee: boss man carmy save me

↳ syd_adamu: oh.. :///

marcus.brooks11: you did me so dirty, friend.

↳ chefboyardee: love you marcus you look spectacular

↳ marcus.brooks11: don’t start

richietheking: Where am I?

↳ chefboyardee: ya motha

liked by syd_adamu, chefboyardee and 10 others

richietheking: Getting sh$!t done.

see all 8 comments

marcus.brooks11: This is coolllddd.

↳ richietheking: You already know it man.

syd_adamu: this is actually crazy

carmyberzatto: can you show this on instagram? i think you should delete this.

↳ richietheking: Delete your life.

chefboyardee: come down to the beef for a number 6 the occy way 💯 the safest joint on the block 🤑💯we are 🔛🔝

↳ richietheking: Eyyy I know that’s right.

↳ carmyberzatto: please don’t advertise this.

WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩

[ 8:25 am ]

y/n:

bruh im about to lose it. heads up when you guys get to work.

marcus: that catering order is about to be crazy

DO NOT REPLY: These white boards are stressing me out.

syd: we know, probably giving you ptsd from not finishing high school

DO NOT REPLY: Fuck you I did finish it.

y/n: oh i gotta change ur contact name richie

richie poo: ????? What

y/n: it was ‘DO NOT REPLY’ lols

marcus: valid

syd: real

richie poo: What? Why?! That’s so rude

y/n: cuz you piss me off

and you kept blowing up my phone yesterday

richie poo: You weren’t answering, and we needed help at the cook out.

syd: the one where you poisoned everyone?

richie poo: Fuck off.

y/n: when i’m off work, i’m off work.

marcus: don’t let carmy hear that, y/n

y/n: don’t remind me

syd: he’s trying at least, go easy on him. he really has great ideas

richie poo: You mean you have great ideas in that little notebook

tina: Never trust a broad with a notebook.

syd: hey! i’m just being helpful

y/n: do you guys think my ig post will hurt carmys feelings

marcus: it would make me a little sad if i were him, but i don’t think he cares

y/n: great i’m gonna cry now

syd: i doubt he even saw it y/n it’s fine

richie poo: Check the work chat. Cousin is in a mood.

y/n: oh great

tina: Help us all.

syd: be nice you guys

WORK

[ 9:15 am ]

carmy: Everyone, we have huge catering orders tomorrow to prep for today. Please get here as soon as you can, the earlier you clock in the better. Additionally, please be careful what you post on social media. I don’t want people to get the wrong impression

y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳

syd: ok sounds good

richie poo: Cool it, Cousin. What’s the issue with the social media

tina: I use FaceBook. That not allowed now??

carmy: Tina, you’re fine. I’m talking about those who post work things on public accounts

marcus: facebook is crazy

richie poo: I can’t go private

y/n: he needs the likes

richie poo: No I’m disabled from doing so. Not sure why

y/n: liar

richie poo: 😑I don’t like you

carmy: Then please don’t post pics of yourself posting up with a gun and an air horn outside of my shop anymore.

marcus: that pic was fire can’t lie

carmy: Well, it’s bad for business.

richie poo: Fine, whatever

y/n: carmy

carmy: What, Y/n?

y/n: is this because of my caption on my post i’m sorry i promise i wasn’t being for real

carmy: I don’t care Y/n.

y/n: is that code for ‘i care a lot and i’m crying in the office right now and that’s why the door is closed’

oh

syd: ? why the oh

y/n: he opened the door and yelled no 🤨 but i think i saw red eyes

carmy: Please get back to work and I’ll comp a meal for you later

y/n: OMG yes chef 😍

richie poo: Inappropriate emojis and you shouldn’t have to incentivize her to work

y/n: shut up acting like HR i’m gonna beat your ass

jealousy is ugly which is why you have that mug on your face

carmy: Stop

y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳

i heard your giggle tho

richie poo: Again with the schizo episode

syd: you can’t say that richie

richie poo: Oh sorry

[redbullgirly]

Million Dollar Man [LS18 smau]

Lance Stroll x reader [social media au]

Masterlist

Summary: Lance's girlfriend isn't afraid to show how much her boyfriend loves and spoils her. Unfortunately, "fans" seem to think she's a gold digger. But who would Lance and Y/N bee if they just let it slide?

Warnings: A lot of hate towards the reader by online trolls and just toxic fans, at the end she and Lance shuts them up but if you're not in the right head-space to read this, then please don't.

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by lance_stroll, fernandoalo_oficial, astonmartin and 192,344 others

tagged: astonmartin and lance_stroll

yourusername life lately... how about you? 🍰💐

view all 3209 comments

user1 more like: life lately 💸💸💸

user2 LOL

lance_stroll life lately has been great ❤️

liked by the author

user3 Lance don't worry we're going to save you!!

user4 our guy is lyinggggg i can feel it

user5 Oh my god let them live a happy life you trolls🤦‍♀️

user6 how can you know it's happy when she clearly uses him for money?🤨

user5 And how can you know it's not? Besides I don't think she uses him for anything🤷‍♀️

user4 then your just as naive as him user5 lol

user7 she's so classy a love it!😻

user8 Can she even drive or she just wanted to take a photo in his car?

fernandoalo_oficial You are slaying Queen!😉

fernandoalo_oficial Did I do it correctly yourusername?

yourusername it's great nando, just please never use that emoji again and you'll be ready do graduate from my gen-z university!

fernandoalo_oficial Damn it I knew all you use these days is this one: 💀

yourusername 💀

user9 OKAY I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ANYONE SAYS ABOUT HER AND LANCE CAUSE I LOVE Y/N AND NANDO INTERACTIONS MORE THAN MY OWN LIFE!!

user10 i'm convinced she holds both aston drivers hostage in her basement and is forcing them to comment on her posts

user11 It's probably not even her own basement but Lance's😭

user12 nah she ain't even that pretty

user13 omg no way this post is the way I found out lance mf stroll has a girlfriend?🤠

user14 GIRL you have so much lore to catch up on

user15 Yeah welcome to the worst wag ever fandom xd

user13 wait I'm so confused... why do we hate her???

user14 bc she's basically a gold digger, like from the moment her and lance started dating she's been posting only about shopping and showing off herself and her bf's money

user12 plus she ugly af

user15 Yeah and there are rumors on twitter about her being really mean to everyone and that the whole paddock hates her and stuff...

user13 okay I get that but tbh we can't believe everything that's on f1 twitter

user14 idc she's a bitch even without the rumors

user15 I can tell Y/N is trying so hard to have the rich girly aesthetic... it's actually embarrassing😂

astonmartin Wow you have a great car right there😍

user16 more like her sugar daddy lance has it lol XD

user17 guys be fr if you had a rich boy you'd be spending his money too!!!

twitter

yourusername and lance_stroll posted on instagram stories

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by estabanocon, lance_stroll, astonmartinf1 and 206,948 others

tagged: astonmartinf1 and lance_stroll

yourusername thank you spa for having me! what a race, congrats to my favourite driver lance_stroll on p9 & his teammate fernandoalo_oficial on p5! great team work, hope to see you on another grand prix in the future astonmartinf1 💚🏆

view all 4022 comments

astonmartinf1 we hope to see you on another grand prix as well Y/N!🤩

liked by the author

user1 you don't have to lie admin, it's waste of money on her... better give the paddock pass to someone else

astonmartinf1 well, we definitely won't give it to you user1, so no need to worry about it 😙

user2 daaaamn, the admin is coming for y'all haters

user3 Of course she had to wear the racing suit... c'mon that's so embarrassing🙄

user4 actually it's pretty normal, I'm pretty sure Max's gf also wore his racing suit at some point

user3 Yeah but I at least like and respect Kelly... Y/N is a horrible gold digger

user4 well then I'm pretty sure it's your problem, not hers🤷‍♀️

user5 girl stop pretending you care about racing we all know you do it just for pr and cash xdd

user6 Honestly I'm not a Lance Stroll fan, but he deserves someone better than her...

lance_stroll Thank you to my favourite wag! 🥳❤️

yourusername love you baby!!!💞

user7 favourite wag😂 good joke😂😂

user8 am I the only one who finds their interaction cute??

user9 yeah you are user8... like just look at it, it's so forced... wouldn't be surprising if their whole relationship was fake

user10 You can hate on her all you want, but she's actually gorgeous in the third pic😻

user11 YUUUCCKK🤮🤮🤮

user12 you see I would be fine with this post if she didn't have to show off the aston martin car again!!!

user13 Hey did you notice she tagged Nando in the caption and he didn't reply to her? I call it ✨karma✨ lol

user14 maybe he escaped from her basement😭

user15 💚💚

user16 sorry but I can't help it. There's just something fishy about Y/N and I can't bring myself to like her at all

user17 Guys who is this girl and why does she get more hate in her comments than hailey bieber??💀

user18 I hate how she makes the whole Grand Prix about herself

user19 no but fr... like honey, idc about you and your favourite driveeer

user20 Tf?? She literally called LANCE her favourite driver how is that about her... you haters are so dumb🤦‍♀️

user21 I bet she read the comments on twitter about how she's bad gf for not going to any races and decided to fix her image by this XD

user19 lmfao didn't probably work the way she hoped

messages between Y/N and Lance

lance_stroll posted on instagram

liked by yourusername, sebastianvettel, f1 and 330,219 others

tagged: yourusername

lance_stroll As some of you now, I am not very active on social media. Today I'm making an exception for Y/N, my lovely girlfriend I've been dating for almost a year now. She is one of the greatest, most kind, caring and selfless people I know. I don't know where the idea of our relationship being unhappy, one-sided or even insincere came from, but I would like to make it very clear once and for all that these assumptions are as far from the truth as they can be.

In my life, I experienced a lot of hateful comments and reactions myself. It is not something I wish anyone should have to go through and it's disgusting. I love Y/N with all my heart and I hope that one day, she'll make me the happiest man alive and allows me to marry her, build a family together. No one will ever again speak about her in an inappropriate way, or they'll be blocked and possibly face legal actions taken agains them. I am very serious about this.

Y/N, I'm not afraid to call you the love of my life. I never want to see you cry because of some meaningless hater. Love you to the moon and back, sweetheart ❤️

view all 4823 comments

user1 It's just so heartbreaking how Lance himself had to go through so many waves of hate because of his dad and now he had to watch Y/N go through it too...😓

yourusername love you to the moon and back too lance!!!💖

lance_stroll Wouldn't have it any other way honey!😌

user2 you know it's serious when sebastianvettel shows up

astonmartinf1 once the it couple, always the it couple!💚 proud to say we were never a hater😘

user3 i still think it's fake

fernandoalo_oficial and I think you are fake🤪

user4 LMAO nando come and get the haters lets goooo

user5 That's how you shut them up xd

fernandoalo_oficial how do you children say it? I AM LANCEY/N DEFENDER

user4 yeah yeah nando exactly that or you can say your a lancey/n truther

liked by fernandoalo_oficial

user5 omg I can't believe I just had online conversation with THE Fernando Alonso😭

user4 GIRL ME TOO AND HE EVEN LIKED MY COMMENT😭😭

f1 What a beautiful couple you are!🙌 Hope to see you in the paddock after summer break!😏

user6 "they'll be blocked and possibly face legal actions taken agains them" daaammmnn man is standing on business here

user7 Tbh I never understood why y'all hated on her sm she's literally so beautiful and seems kind as well🤷‍♀️

lilymhe pretty giiiirl

lance_stroll I couldn't agree more!❤️

yourusername oh stop you two I'm blushing

user8 Can we take a moment to appreciate how beautifully the caption is written?🥹 Lance really has some poetic talent!

liked by yourusername

user9 aaah she's still a gold digger and he's too blind to see it😂

user10 Yeah she probably charmed him in bed or sm

user11 Ohh user9 and user10... I wonder how it feels to know Lance and probably some other drivers hate you🫢

chloestroll My brother and my future sister-in-law!🥰

liked by the author and yourusername

yourusername 🥰🥰

user12 im actually so happy to see y/n replying to some of the comments and just being active without so much hate on her now!!!

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by lance_stroll, kellypiquet, fernandoalo_oficial and 299,102 others

tagged: lance_stroll and dior

yourusername they say if he wanted to he would... I say he wants to so he does 🌹❤️

comments have been limited

lilymhe she ate you jealous people up with that caption

liked by lance_stroll and fernandoalo_oficial

lilymhe also alex_albon me when??

dior Wow!❤️‍🔥

lance_stroll That's what real men do instead of trolling others on the internet.

yourusername daaammn baby

lance_stroll What? I'm just stating facts 😌

kellypiquet shopping trip to Paris when?😍

yourusername anytime you want!!!💕

astonmartinf1 So lucky to (basically) have you on our team💚

fernandoalo_oficial I call that a slay admin

astonmartinf1 ...should I tell him slay is kinda out dated??

yourusername aaah let him have his moment

fernandoalo_oficial WHAT?! YOU TRAITORS I THOUGH I WAS GEN-Z APPROVED

yourusername 🫢

THE END

Author's note: I hope you liked my first ever social media au story! I'll be glad for every feedback, comment, like, reblog and everything! You can definitely send me asks and requests for another smau's and even 'normal' fanfictions. Have a great day!

[angievue]

flower girl ʚɞ billie eilish

in which you work at a flower shop and billie works at a tattoo parlour right next door

contains smut, degrading, dumbification, fingering & oral, ig readers innocent, unsupportive parents, this is really bad LOL

a/n guys i found this i think i made this three months ago for fun and OMG😭 also i’m on my phone so that’s why the layout is so ugly😔 i’m not even gonna proof read this cuz its so bad but i love the tattoo girl x flower girl trope so🫠 might re write this or make a pt 2 idk!!

You’ve always been a bit of a goody two shoes. The obedient type, always following your parents’ strict rules and agreeing to whatever your friends begged for, even though you never truly felt free. Your life felt like it was on lockdown, confined by your parents’ watchful eyes.

That was until you started working at a cozy little flower shop. The space was filled with hyacinths, lilies, and roses, and you felt instantly at home there. You could arrange bouquets however you liked and finally had a chance to connect with the world outside.

But what you liked most was the dark-haired girl who worked at the tattoo shop right next to your little flower shop. Growing up, you were taught that attraction to the same gender was forbidden, so now, alone with your thoughts, you can’t help but be drawn to her.

You’ve never spoken to her, and God knows when you will. You’ve only ever seen her walking into the shop every weekday at 8 a.m. and leaving at 5 p.m.

You’ve always wondered what she was like. Her long, raven hair and baggy clothes. You wondered what her name was or what color her eyes were. You wondered if she’d ever think about you the way you think about her.

But she had one flaw: her tattoo parlor somehow scared customers away. The loud music and her starkly different aesthetic made your beautiful flower shop feel dim and boring by comparison. You found yourself loathing her for it.

Today, you swore to confront her and send her a sweet message.

So here you are, standing outside her little tattoo parlor. The edgy music blasts from inside, and you can feel your knees getting weak.

You open the door and immediately feel out of place. Dressed in your cute pink skirt, white sweater, leg warmers, and Mary Janes, you stand out against the harsh red lights and black, dimmed walls of the tattoo parlor. You can’t believe you’re here—imagine if your parents saw you in a place like this…

You gulp as your eyes meet hers. She’s the one you’ve been secretly watching for months now. Her icy blue eyes and rosy pink lips make your stomach twist, and you bite your lip, nervously approaching her with your hands tucked behind your back.

“You here for a tattoo?” she asks, her voice carrying an edge that sends a shiver down your spine.

“Um… no! Actually, I’m from the flower shop… right next door,” you manage, voice shaky. “Your music is kinda loud… and, well, I’ve been getting some complaints from my customers, so… if you could maybe turn it down a little?”

You stare down at your shoes, feeling like a complete idiot as you mumble through your words, unable to meet her piercing gaze.

She lets out a low chuckle, biting her lip. “Flower shop, eh?”

You glance up, nodding with wide, blinking eyes. Her gaze holds yours, and you feel heat rise through your body.

Her eyes roam over you, lingering just a little too long. She shifts, leaning in closer. “Hm. I’ll think about it… if you give me something.”

Your face lights up. “Okay! Like… a flower?”

She laughs softly, amused by your innocence. “Mm. Yeah… like a flower.”

And that’s how you found yourself, dazed and flustered, barely able to think straight, hiding out in the tiny, employees-only bathroom tucked away in the back of the flower shop.

Billie was her name. And she didn’t really want a flower…

Your breath hitches as you feel Billie's fingers trace the curve of your spine, her touch both gentle and teasing. You shiver, unable to suppress a soft whine as her fingertips trail lower, dipping into the crease of your ass. Her voice is a low murmur in your ear, honeyed and dripping with promise.

"You’re so fucking eager, aren’t you? Like a dumb little puppy."

The words should sting, but they only make your heart race faster. You nod, too consumed by your own arousal to form a response. Billie chuckles, the sound sending a thrill down your spine.

Her hands slide around your waist, pulling you back against her chest. You can feel the heat of her body through the thin fabric of your clothes, and it makes your skin tingle. Billie nuzzles her face into the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply.

"Such a sweet baby," she purrs, her lips brushing against your skin. "I’m gonna have so much fun with you.”

You whimper, a desperate plea escaping your lips. Billie’s grip tightens, drawing you even closer. Her mouth finds the sensitive spot just below your ear, and she bites down gently, not hard enough to hurt, but enough to make you gasp.

"Please…" you whisper, your voice trembling with anticipation.

Billie hums in satisfaction, her hand sliding down to cup your heat through the fabric of your panties. You feel yourself growing wetter at her touch, your body betraying you with every passing second. She teases you, circling your clit with her thumb, making you squirm in her hold.

"So naughty," she mocks, her tone playful yet domineering. "Such a whore letting a random girl touch you like this. I bet you’d do anything I say, wouldn’t you?”

You nod frantically, your mind foggy with arousal. Billie’s fingers dip beneath the edge of your panties, slipping inside to find your slick entrance. You moan loudly, arching your back to give her better access. She thrusts two fingers into you without warning, making you cry out.

"That’s it, baby," she coos. "Take it. Take my fingers like the good girl you are."

Her words are laced with condescension, but you find them intoxicating. You press yourself harder onto her hand, desperate for more. Billie pulls her fingers out with a wet sound, bringing them to her mouth to lick them clean. You watch, entranced, as she savors your taste.

"Mmm, delicious," she murmurs. "But you know what you really need, don’t you?"

You shake your head, unsure, but your body tenses with anticipation. Billie smirks, clearly enjoying the power she holds over you.

"On your knees," she commands, her tone leaving no room for argument.

You comply immediately, dropping to your knees before her. Billie steps back, giving you room to maneuver. She undoes her pants with deliberate slowness, letting them fall to the floor in a pool around her ankles. Your eyes widen as you take in the sight of her exposed pussy, glistening with desire.

"Come on," she orders, her voice firm. "Show me how much of a dumb little slut you really are.

You hesitate for only a moment before leaning forward, your tongue flicking out to taste her. Billie hisses at the contact, gripping your hair tightly as you begin to lick and suck at her clit. Your movements are hesitant at first, but she guides you with forceful tugs on your hair, showing you exactly what she wants.

"Fuck, that’s it," she groans. "Lick it like you mean it, my little baby.

The harshness of her words spurs you on, your tongue working faster as you try to bring her to the edge. Billie’s hips buck against your face, her moans growing louder and more urgent. You can feel the tension building in her body, and you redouble your efforts, determined to make her come.

"Oh, fuck," she gasps, her fingers tightening in your hair.

She pulls away from your mouth abruptly, making you whine in protest. But before you can react, she spins you around, pushing your face against insf the wall. Your breath comes in ragged gasps as you realize what’s coming next.

"Stay still," she warns, her voice clipped.

"I’m going to ruin you, and you’re going to take it like the good little slut you are."

You nod, your body trembling with anticipation. Billie wastes no time, her fingers returning to your soaked pussy. She pushes one inside, then two, scissoring them to stretch you open. You bite your lip to stifle a moan, your hips rocking back instinctively.

"Such a greedy little thing," she taunts.

With that, she removes her fingers and replaces them with something much larger—her tongue. You cry out at the sudden invasion, your body shuddering as she laps at your folds, drinking in your juices. Her mouth is demanding, relentless, and you can feel yourself being pushed closer and closer to the edge.

"Billie… please…" you beg, your voice breaking. "I can’t… I can’t hold on…"

"Good," she whispers against your flesh. "Let go, my dumb little baby. Let go for me."

And with those words, you do. Your orgasm hits you like a tidal wave, overwhelming your senses. You scream her name, your entire body convulsing with pleasure as Billie continues to eat you out, driving you further into bliss.

As your climax begins to fade, she pulls away, leaving you panting and spent. But before you can catch your breath, she flips you over, pinning you down with her body. Her eyes burn with intensity as she looks down at you.

"Liked that, did you?" she asks, her voice low and dangerous. "How about we make this a regular thing?"

You blink up at her, dazed and sated. Part of you wants to protest, to say that this is so unprofessional and wrong. But the other part of you, the part that’s currently throbbing with residual pleasure, doesn’t want this to ever end.

"Yes…" you whisper, your voice barely audible. "Whatever you want…"

Billie smiles, a predatory glint in her eyes. "Good girl."

a/n someone do this trope justice or if someones already done smth like this LMK PLZ😫 i love it

[colebabey888]

It’s OK to Be a Girly Girl: "Embracing Feminine Energy?"| IT GIRL DIARIES

"omg i promise it's ok to like pink, you'll live"

In today's world, it seems that being a girly girl gets you side-eyed, dismissed, or even looked down upon. I’ve noticed that modernization has driven this new idea into our head’s that just because women now have the CHOICE to work, they are obligated to do so which is like.. idk there’s this weird expectation nowadays that if you don’t chase the career, take on heavy labor, and "prove" yourself in a man’s world, you’re incompetent, lazy, stupid, or too dependent. To me, without all the sugar coating of "women power", it seems like they're just asking us to be men..

What happened to staying home, having brunch with your girls, dressing up, looking cute, paying my parent’s to marry me lmaoo all jokes but seriously, just enjoying life’s pleasures without taking on traditionally masculine roles? Why has the desire to be cared for and pampered become such a bad thing? Pretty nails weren’t made to chip under pressure, and pretty feet weren’t made to trek through rough paths. Feminine energy thrives when it’s embraced – why must I pump even more testosterone into my body when it's naturally producing estrogen urg! I hope you get my flow, if not then whatever..

If we’re honest with ourselves, life flows smoother when we let nature take its true course. Feminine energy works best in harmony with masculine energy, and vice versa. It’s not about who’s better; it’s about understanding that each energy has its own role. Historically, men have been the alphas in relationships. They lead, take charge, and handle business – that’s their nature..

Here’s the thing, though: Yes, a woman can absolutely take on the alpha role and excel at it. We’ve seen it happen countless times. Women are more than capable of doing everything a man can do. But the question is – why would you want to do that lol? It’s like constantly stepping into a role that pulls you away from your true essence that leads to losing touch with your feminine energy, which is one of the most powerful tools you have as a woman in a man’s world.

We don’t always realize just how strong feminine energy is. It’s the core of what makes us powerful, magnetic, and influential in ways that transcend the physical. When we embrace this energy fully, we unlock our potential in ways that go far beyond mimicking masculine roles. It’s a waste to ignore or suppress that energy, thinking we have to “keep up” in ways that don’t resonate with who we truly are.

Now don’t get this twisted with the idea that you NEED a man to embrace your feminine energy (be and act like a girl) or sleep with any ugly rat. That’s not what I’m saying at all. Let’s hope you catch my drift..

mwah! xoxo, colebabey8.88

[vinylmango]

On our own terms

Nicholas Alexander Chavez x famous!black!reader

Description: What married life is like for Nicholas and (y/n).

Parts one two three four FIVE

masterlist

———

nicholasalexanderchavez

Tagged (y/n)

Liked by taylorzakharperez, mikefaist, (y/n) and 2,987,456 more

nicholasalexanderchavez It’s my favorite holiday! Happy birthday to the funniest, kindest, and most beautiful woman I know. We love you 🤍

user1 are they fr?

no1nacsupporter OMG THEY HAD A BABY

(y/n)ismother She’s literally mother 😭 HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOTHER!!! Adopt me pls 💗

itswes let me babysit again pls

> (y/n) you’re literally across the room from me rn

(y/n) my favorite people 🤍 i love you so much it’s unbelievable 🥺

(y/n) dilf 🫣🤭🥵✨

> Liked by nicholasalexanderchavez

nicchavezismine she definitely baby trapped him and the baby is lowkey ugly

> user2 you’re unwell

> user3 you’re actually such a weirdo

> cocojones why are you bullying a baby???

cooperkoch literally wearing my uncle shirt rn but happy birthday (y/n) 💗 you are my second fav Chavez!

> (y/n) 🥺💗 love youu Coop…wait why am I not first?

> nicholasalexanderchavez lol bc I am 💁‍♂️ also are we matching rn?

> cooperkoch you’re my third fav 😓 sorry not sorry it’s Baby Chavez actually

> (y/n) understandable

Liked by nicholasalexanderchavez

sofcruz Happy birthday (y/n/n)! 🥺💗 i love you sm and you are the best mom.

> (y/n) Thank youuuu Sof i love you so much 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

View more comments…

(Y/n)

Liked by chloesevigny, keke, charliexcx, and 3,124,567 more

(Y/n) daisy 🌿✨

(y/n)ismother her face card never declines

user1 her face card is LETHALLL

nicholasalexanderchavez you are everything 🧎

zendaya love seeing my girl on screen 💁‍♀️✨

> (y/n) 💗

nicholasalexanderchavez i love you mwah mwah

> (y/n) i love youuu 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

nicholasalexanderchavez daisy snuggles are the best snuggles

Liked by (y/n)

no1nacsupporter Nick as a dad is everything omg

Liked by (y/n)

no1nacsupporter you guys are so hot

cooperkoch awww I miss daisy 🥺😭

> nicholasalexanderchavez you saw her yesterday?

> cooperkoch yes exactly

goddess(y/n) OMG (y/n) ACTING PROJECT?! (Y/N) PRESS TOUR???!

sofcruz I can’t financially have a baby yet I can’t financially have a baby yet 😭

> user2 real

user3 awww they’re matching 🥺🥺

user4 ooo parent date night

View more comments…

nicholasalexanderchavez

Liked by cooperkoch, harrystyles, sofcruz, and 3,003,125 more

nicholasalexanderchavez behind the scenes

user1 this is not a drill this is not a drill they’re in a movie together 😭 I’m already seated

no1nacsupporter finally cooper and nick in a romcom 🙏

(y/n) wear the suit home

> nicholasalexanderchavez 😏🙂‍↕️

> user2 AYO CHILL yall just had a baby

goddess(y/n) I’m so jealous…of both of them like I can’t make up my mind if I would rather be him or her

user3 screaming crying throwing up you’re literally telling me I get to watch all three of my favs on screen?!

cooperkoch I look dead inside

> nicholasalexanderchavez shut up you look fine 🙄

cooperkoch why did you choose that pic 😭

cooperkoch daisy tho 🤩🤩

> zendaya she’s knocked out 😂

> nicholasalexanderchavez she’s a daddy’s girl 😌

> user4 I am also a fan of her daddy

> ilovenicchavez girl get in line

View more comments….

nicholasalexanderchavez

Liked by user1, no1nacsupporter, nicholasgalitzine, and 3,012,345 others

nicholasalexanderchavez my girls

(y/n) ugh she’s so cute 🥺😭

(y/n) I couldn’t help myself

user1 omg her cheeks are so squishy 🥺

tomholland2013 she’s getting so big already 😭

> (y/n) stoppp omg don’t say that you’re going to make me cry

nicchavezismine why are its eyes not dark?? Nick’s eyes are brown and so are (y/n)’s…just proof she cheated.

> user2 get off his page omg it’s been forever

> user1 brain broken loser

> nicholasalexanderchavez blocked & reported 🤭

itswes Sof, Z, Tom, Cooper, and I are on our way

> (y/n) wth?

> zendaya daisy asked us to come

> nicholasalexanderchavez she doesn’t speak yet 🤨

> zendaya so we’re actually on the same wavelength hope this helps

> nicholasalexanderchavez 😀

> sofcruz I think your third eye chakra is a little off

> (y/n) did you just…

> user3 yes. yes she did.

View more comments….

———

….and that’s a wrap :)

[ am i manifesting that cooper and nick act in a romcom or play brothers again? yes. yes i am.]

taglist:

@hockeyboysarehot

@jukeboxsweethearttt

@writtenbyhollywood

[whyse7vn]

EMPTY BED -

[ot7 x reader]

TAEHYUNG -

tae: Hey Siri Hey message L O M L Siri Hello Siri you bitch hello HEY SIRI in all capital letters that time now message my girlfriend ok wait Hey Siri New message Hey Siri message capital L capital O capital M capital L paw print emoji kissy face emoji red heart emoji that’s L O M L paw print emoji kissy face emoji red heart emoji got it ok

tae: hey Siri new messages new one ok? message L O M L paw print emoji kissy face emoji red heart emoji IN ALL CAPITALS NOW WHERE ARE YOU I REFUSE OK WAIT no caps siri you better be getting this like all the words and the emotion i’m saying right now ok send this message no wait let me start again wait did it send? ok send

tae: IN ALL CAPS NEW MESSAGE HEY IM I HAVEN’T OPENED MY EYES YET BUT I FELT AROUND IN THE BED AND UR NOT HERE AND THEN I SHOUTED FOR YOU AND YOU DIDN’T ANSWER ME AND THEN I TOLD SIRI TO CALL YOU AND YOU DIDN’T ANSWER WHERE THE FUCK ok no caps can Siri swear? question mark did she put a question mark? when i said that i hope she did ok send this message siri

tae: hey Siri ok omg what does Siri even stand for ok stop no not the point in caps now GIRLFRIEND WHERE ARE YOU WHERE ARE YOU I’M NOT OPENING MY EYES UNTIL YOU COME BACK WHERE ARE YOU

tae: WHERE ARE YOU

tae: WHERE ARE YOU

tae: WHERE ARE YOU

tae: WHERE ARE YOU

tae: WHERE ARE YOU

tae: WHERE ARE YOU

tae: WHERE ARE YOU

tae: WHERE ARE YOU

tae: WHERE ARE YOU

tae: hey Siri play mic drop by bts on youtube

tae: Siri are you listening to me

tae: Siri what the fuck can you do what i asked

y/n: wtf?

tae: New message no never mind hey Siri who sent me a message if it wasn’t my girlfriend i don’t want to know so don’t even tell me if it wasn’t my girlfriend hey Siri read that message to me hello hey hello why aren’t you doing it are you still typing or something hello if you’re still typing stop and send then play my fucking song

y/n: ?

incoming call from tae

JIMIN -

jimin: rumour has it you left while i was asleep

y/n: it’s not a rumour when it’s fact

dumbass

jimin: so i guess i’ll just die then

y/n: i mean if you want

jimin: do i mean that little to you??

nvm don’t answer that

ur so evil

that’s like me leaving you in the house and setting it on fire while we’re playing hide and seek and ur the hider

y/n: no it’s not

jimin: yes it is

y/n: where is the fire in our actual situation?

jimin: in my heart?

y/n: dpmo

jimin: it’s always don’t piss me off never i love you deeply and truly

y/n: do something that is deserving of my love

jimin: i’ll send you 50k

y/n: you won’t

jimin: u right ☠️☠️

y/n: broke ass

jimin: ugly ass

y/n: if u miss me that bad just say that

jimin: i would rather be crushed by a hydraulic press and the video of it be used as a tiktok duet to a sped up episode of some doctor show

y/n: not reading that fucking essay you just sent me what the hell

jimin: just say ur illiterate?

y/n: just say you miss me?

jimin: NO

y/n: FUCK YOU

jimin: don’t swear that’s impolite

y/n: ur always impolite

jimin: fake news….

y/n: delusional….

jimin: i’m polite

y/n: sure

tell me you miss me and want to know where i am politely instead of whatever the fuck ur doing rn then

jimin: ok

i’m only doing this to prove a point rn

not that i actually care or anything LOL

y/n: yeah sure whatever

jimin: 𝓪𝓯𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓷𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓶𝓪’𝓪𝓶,

𝓲𝓽 𝓼𝓮𝓮𝓶𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓵𝓮𝓯𝓽 𝓶𝓮 𝓸𝓷 𝓶𝔂 𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓲 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓴𝓮𝓷 𝓾𝓹 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓪 𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓲𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓯𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭 𝓪𝓷𝔂𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓵𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓺𝓾𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓼 𝓲 𝓶𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓱𝓾𝓶𝓫𝓵𝔂 𝓲𝓷𝓺𝓾𝓲𝓻𝓮 𝓪𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽𝓼 𝓪𝓼 𝓲 𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓰𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓮𝓯𝓾𝓵 𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓪𝓶 𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓵𝔂

y/n: you think i’m graceful >.<

jimin: as a fucking elephant

y/n: blocked

jimin: WAIT I DIDN’T MEAN IT COME HOME 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

YOONGI -

yoongi: bed is empty

y/n: that’s crazy omg?!

i wonder why

yoongi: wondering the same thing

y/n: look at us just a bunch of wonderers

yoongi: shut up

where are you 😕

y/n: love this hot and cold thing you’ve got going on rn

yoongi: where are you

y/n: no emoji this time SIGHSSSS

yoongi: where are you 🤬

y/n: ok not a mean emoji what the hell

yoongi: where are you 😆

y/n: ur so silly

and funny

my silly funny boyfriend i want to kiss you

yoongi: you could do that if you were here

where are you

y/n: down the road up the hill past the river

yoongi: ur not funny

where are you seriously

y/n: why?? do you feel like a one night stand

like a whore

do you have the sheets clutched to ur chest ur lipstick smeared hair a mess are you looking around confused wondering where i am do you feel like a slut waking up in a bed that’s not yours are you feeling used cuz i’m not by ur side as you wake?

yoongi: ???

wtf

no

this is my bed

our bed

in our home

ur so strange

where are you??

y/n: love when you miss me

yoongi: can you answer my question

or do i need to ask it for the seventh time

y/n: i answered

yoongi: be serious

ur not even in the house

it’s way too early to be out on ur own like that

y/n: way too early?

weren’t you the one begging me to wake up earlier this past week?

yoongi: yeah

wake up not leave the house and not tell me

y/n: potato potato

yoongi: that phrase does not work over text

y/n: whatEVER 🙄

yoongi: for the last time where are you?

y/n: at the door so come open it :p

SEOKJIN -

jin: put ur hand up if you can relate to ur girlfriend leaving you in the dust (bed) all alone cuz she wants you dead and doesn’t care about you and probably wants to you to just die and be murdered

my hand is up btw

y/n: i just left

i’ve been gone for like 10 minutes max

jin: 10 minutes you haven’t cared about me

10 minutes for me to sit here and die

ALONE

ALL ALONE

y/n: you knew i had a meeting to go to

i told you this

jin: and you couldn’t take me??

we work at the same company they would of let me sit in

y/n: no we don’t???

jin: ok but we COULD

you know i could get you a job here at hybe

y/n: who wants to work at fuckass hybe??

jin: YOU

YOU are supposed to want to work at fuckass hybe

to be closer to me

so i can sit in on ur meetings

and so we can avoid problems like THIS

y/n: tf is the problem

jin: you LEFT ME

ME

KIM SEOKJIN

IN MY SLEEP FOR ONE

AND A COLD ASS BED FOR TWO

ALONE

y/n: ur a grown man

cope

jin: if i was jungkook you would of been here still

y/n: he’s a child

jin: he’s a grown man

y/n: no YOU’RE a grown man mr 30 something

jin: 30 something????

OH IM SICKKKKK you’d don’t even know my actual age

some girlfriend u are

do you even know what year i was born

y/n: a long fucking time ago

jin: real funny

y/n: BC

jin: bye

y/n: no talk to me i’m stuck in traffic and this driver has not said a word to me :(((

jin: you can STAY in traffic ALONE

y/n: i guess we twins

alone and all

jin: ur not funny

y/n: ur right..

but i am alone

just like you LMFAOOO ☠️☠️💀☠️💀

you can no longer send messages to this contact!

NAMJOON -

namjoon: it’s like you’ve died

y/n: oh

namjoon: the indent of where you laid is still here the sheets wrinkled and stuff too

it’s like i’m a grieving husband who can move on who can’t accept that you’ve gone so i hold on to every trace of you that i can

the indent of where you lay being one of those said traces

pillows smell like you too

y/n: r u high? (hot)

namjoon: do you think we have communication issues??

y/n: no

pls send me a picture of ur face rn

i think ur high

namjoon:

y/n: ur the cutest ever

and surprisingly not high lmao (take off ur clothes)

namjoon: thank you but not rn babe i’m trying to talk to you about something

y/n: about what joonie? (take off ur clothes)

namjoon: about commu

*communication issues

y/n: communication issues that we don’t have

also spelling mistake hello?? who are you rn

namjoon: i think we do have communication issues because

you left me alone

in the bed

you left the house

and didn’t tell me

💔😔

y/n: omg emojis

but yeah i did do that

namjoon: why?

y/n: you were sleeping

(but ur awake now so get naked)

namjoon: can one have one conversation at a time please

i can’t keep up right now

y/n: SIGHSSSS ok

kim namjoon get naked for me now

namjoon: i could be getting naked for you live in the flesh if you told me where you are

y/n: omg u would get naked for me in this convenient store??

say ong

namjoon: ong

y/n: YOU LYINNNNNNNNNNNNN

do you even know what ong means

bet you don’t 💀💀💀

namjoon: why are you at the convenient store?

y/n: i was hungry and the store was convenient

WOW IM SO FUNNY HILARIOUS 10/10 COMEDIAN

namjoon: the funniest

why didn’t you take me with you? it’s kinda late

y/n: you were sleeping

😴 just like that

i couldn’t wake you

you looked sososo peaceful

namjoon: babe

y/n: OK IM SORRY DON’T SHOOT ME

namjoon: are you on ur way back?

how close are you?

should i come and meet you??

y/n: all these questions

yet no stripping off clothes

there something wrong

namjoon: babe

y/n: namjoon

you have my location right?

namjoon: oh

yeah i do

i forgot about that

y/n: bet you did

too sleepy ur not thinking straight huh?

namjoon: 😅i guess so

you’re 2 minutes away

y/n: i am

namjoon: we don’t have communication issues

y/n: i’m aware

namjoon: yeah

y/n: still sleepy?

namjoon: yeah

y/n: cutie

will be there to tuck you in in 2 seconds sit tight

JUNGKOOK -

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: ur location is off btw

jk: do you know ur location is off?

jk: if you don’t know i’m just letting you know it’s off

jk: btw it’s off

jk: like not on

jk: and ur not in the bed

or at home

or answering ur phone

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: did i make you upset or something

i’m really sorry if i did

please just call or message me back

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: i called namjoon and he said he doesn’t know where you are

so i think this is the end of the world and we are all disappearing one bye one

when do think i’ll disappear???

or will i like be the last one left and like die of loneliness

OR you think i’ll disappear like spiderman did in that one move

i don’t wanna die i don’t wanna die

i’m gonna say that when i see my hands start to disappear

do you think it hurts

OHMUGOD BABE DID IT HURT WHEN YOU DISAPPEARED????

TELL ME TELL ME RIGHT NOW

BABE IF IT HURT YOU TELL ME

do you not have ur phone in the disappearing land

ohmygod i’m freaking out

this is what i imagine an overdose feels like

ofc i wouldn’t know cuz i’ve never overdosed but what i’m feeling in this current moment is what i think it would feel like yk?

i’m crashing out

i’m loosing it

this is the end of me

jungkook

jeon jungkook

i’m gone i’m going

i’m crashing

overdosing

ha like that one exo song !!

babe you like that song don’t you?

i’ll learn the choreo for you

also do you think i’ll go to heaven or hell when i die??

i hope if i go to hell ur there with me

not that i think you should go to hell of that i want you in hell

but like i just want us to be together wherever we are

like in all lives we live

physically and spiritually

but like what if there isn’t even heaven or hell and it’s just like nothing

like we are never conscious again

i’m crashing out again babe

ohmugid what if i never see you again

oHMUGOD BABE

IM SORRY

the last words i said to you were peanut butter sandwich

I DON’T EVEN LIKE PEANUTS

IM SORRY

BABE IM SORRY

DO YOU HEAR ME

DO YOU SEE ME

ohmygod i’m crashing

hold on

bam just peed on the floor

ohmygod wait here one second

jk: hi i’m still crashing out btw

💀☠️💀☠️💀☠️☠️💀☠️💀☠️💀💀☠️☠️💀💀☠️☠️☠️💀💀☠️☠️💀☠️☠️☠️💀💀☠️☠️☠️💀☠️💀💀☠️☠️💀☠️☠️💀☠️💀☠️💀☠️💀☠️💀☠️💀☠️💀

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: hi

jk: ok i’m killing myself

crashed out

overdosed

heaven or hell i’m ready

i can’t take this torment any longer

y/n: what the actual hell jungkook

jk: HI BABY 😍💗💞🤭😘🌷💫🤩

HOSEOK -

hobi: where u at?

y/n: mentally?

in a throupole with haechan lee and johnathan suhington

hobi: jonathan suhington goes hard

y/n: i make johnathan suhington hard

hobi: ok chill out

y/n: my fault i was having fun

i ❤️ johnny suh

and haechan

hobi: ur always talking about other men

are you indirectly trying to tell me something??

y/n: omg am i?

hobi: it feels like you are

y/n: maybe i am

hobi: do you want me to join nct?

y/n: fuck you got me 😔

hobi: i knew it

y/n: i’m sorry

hobi: no ur not

y/n: u right

every day i dream of 127 hobi realness

hobi: ur not getting it

y/n: booo

hobi: don’t boo me

y/n: boo seungkwan

hobi: stop

y/n: sorry

hobi: lie to me one more time

y/n: it’s not my fault i’m not sorry

hobi: maybe it’s not

yk what IS ur fault tho

y/n: what?

hobi: you not being in this bed

y/n: this man wonwoo jeonghan

also it’s 4 in the afternoon??

hobi: so??

y/n: bfr

hobi: 🧍‍♂️

y/n: i’m literally downstairs

hobi: you could of just said that

y/n: i thought that was a given?

hobi: no taken enhypen core

y/n: i thought you hated them?

hobi: i do

fucking stupid bitches

y/n: oh!

i think u don’t like them cuz they have what you lack

hobi: which is?

y/n: youth

hobi: bye.

u turn 30 and suddenly the whole word’s against you ?????

i’m sick

y/n: it’s that age getting to you i fear

hobi: ykw fuck you fuck downstairs and FUCK johnny suh

y/n: 😧

—

love writing for hobi and in my johnny era can you tell

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @earth2ela @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @seokmyballs @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @meowgiz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @iammeandmeisiam @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks @futuristicenemychaos @featjunranghae @jksgirlfrl @yeetedandoboi

[strawberryrafaxzd]

⋅˚₊‧ Oikawa Headcanons ⋅˚₊‧ Gn reader enjoy ⭑.ᐟ

✮Whenever Oikawa is with you, he lets his "tough guy" mask fall off. That's why, most of the time, you two tend to have calmer dates, deviating a bit from the usual, like picnics in parks, watching movies, and other things.

✮He likes to lie on your lap while you play with his hair. He complains about how he hates geniuses like his kohai Kageyama (ahhajaja lol) and other things that annoyed him. You just laugh at the cute and funny way he imitates them and give him a peck while his cheeks turn red and he kisses you back.

✮As silly as it may seem, he has some kind of shame about feeling this inferiority complex and hates showing that he feels insecure. The only person he feels safe to talk about this with is you, so be prepared to take his late-night calls and comfort him. Believe me, it will take hours for you to convince him that you are serious when you say he's an incredible player. Even if he thinks he will never measure up to the "geniuses," that's the biggest lie because he's already superior to them just by the effort he puts in "to reach their level."

✮Oikawa often gets "mad" and throws a tantrum because you refuse to go see him play and cheer for him because you're afraid that, one day, one of his crazy fans will throw a rock at your head out of jealousy (akhajajakakakak sorry, I had to write that). But it turns out he always convinces you to go by looking at you with his puppy eyes and that pout. No matter how hard you try, you always end up losing to your sweet boyfriend. But maybe it's not so bad to lose since, in the end, he will always be there thanking you for being the best girlfriend in the world, cheering for him while he showers you with kisses on your face.

✮When his family has special events, his mom always invites you. She definitely loves you, always saying how Toru finally found someone to straighten him out. The gatherings always end with you and his nephew doing his makeup and styling his hair with ribbons and braids. In the end, Oikawa always ends up toppling both of you over, tickling you until his mom sees the three of you sleeping on the floor hugging each other (she always smiles, sighs, and covers you with a blanket, saying,( "these young ones nowadays").

✮In that same vein, when Oikawa sees you and his nephew bonding and having fun, he thinks of one of his greatest dreams. Aside from his volleyball career, it's to marry you and have a family together. He definitely can't wait for that.

✮One of the dates you love the most is when Iwa joins you two. You always die laughing at their fights. You and Iwa get along very well. To be honest, when you buy or make sweets or any kind of food for Oikawa, you always make extra for (wa to eat too ;)

✮Omg, who is that person who isn't even from Seijou that is screaming nonstop in the Aoba Josai cheering section against Karasuno? Wait, the person just called Karasuno's number 9 an idiot.

(Stories say that when Aoba Josai lost, you cried more than the players themselves. Yes, you are Aoba Josai's biggest fan.)

✮One of the cutest things ever seen was you going to his school to deliver his glasses that he left at your game night on Friday and putting them on him, giving him a kiss in front of everyone during recess. By the way, he didn't use to wear glasses because he thought they looked ugly until one day he asked what you thought, and you said he looked "super hot" with glasses hehe (Matsun and Makki still wonder why

Oikawa suddenly decided to wear glasses every day and almost die when he forgets them).

✮Oikawa always wears the sweaters you wore and the ones you drew little stars on. When Iwa notices that he always wears sweaters with stars and a perfume that doesn't belong to him and asks why, he simply says, "it's my way of showing others that I belong to my angel."

Bônus ⊹˖ :

Iwa still has nightmares about the time when Oikawa had gone to Argentina and hadn't settled in yet. Only he knows what it was like to hear you crying out of longing when you went out to bars together after your video calls with Oikawa. At least now he can sleep well knowing that Oikawa is finally okay and has managed to take you to Argentina with him. Now it's Iwa who gets the video calls from the two of you😊🥹🥹

𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚

Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my native language I hope you enjoy it, it's the first time I've written headcannos so it definitely wouldn't have been that good, I hope you enjoyed it