#''oh idk how to do this. fuck''
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so much of my blogging whenever I have classes is complaining about them but erm. in my defense they're stressful and overwhelming
#So ermm to vent a little bit#i dont know how to do anything on my own so the expectance for me to be able to for these classes is a lot#Like for this thing i need to write an essay outline based on an introduction paragraph only. which i think? means i have to find sources#for the details on my own. which i dont know how to do#i do know /technically/ but i dont know whats good information and trustworthy sources and also there's so much stuff to sort through#i was never taught how to do it and now when i try its just. confusing and frustrating and exhausting and makes me too upset to even keep#trying to work#and im not even sure what all of these points in the outline means because where it probably wouldve been explained was the lecture which#was canceled and the powerpoint for this week doesnt cover it#and there's the textbook but textbooks are nothing to me i cant process and retain information from them#which hey sucks for my online classes that are wholey based around teaching yourself from the textbooks#(but i cant do in person classes due to transportation reasons + mental health reasons)#but augh#im such a guy who cant do anything by myself and getting the amount of help i need isnt an option idek how to ask for any amount of help#like yeah email my professors but tell them what? i dont know how to do the class i signed up for?#that i dont know how to do basics 101 school shit? like im confused about some of the work and by some i pretty much mean all#and eaugh its not a frustration i can push through because trying to push through it just makes it worse it tips past#''oh idk how to do this. fuck''#into ''oh god i dont know anything about how to function im literally worthless''#which. i think i said earlier? makes it so i cant. work on anything anymore.#but also its not an option for me not to work bc i cant fail bc ill be expelled or whatever and charged money and what then#joyousposting#negative //#anyway sorry for getting suicide ideation over school back to regularly scheduled blorboposting or whatever
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okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.
like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).
but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.
im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.
#what the fuck.#unfortunately by the time i'd switched accounts (from personal to my poetry one)#i couldn't find it :(#this is why u SEND URSELF THE POST. WHICH I KNOW TO DO BUT!!!#i was so mad i just was like “i'm about to tear this commenter in twain” and . lost da post#if u urself are the 29 and got recently flamed by instagram#i love u. come here. write with me. i was about to pick up a sword for u.#i mean a BIGASS sword.#like we all know im a wlw girlie but the way ppl will be like ''id NEVER write sad poetry about a MAN not LOVING me!!!"#..... wowwwww ur so cool. anyway. people often experience emotions regardless of what u consider cringe.#& if ur gonna shame straight/bi women for feeling a certain way. hope u never write about the#weird relationship between u and ur father. or feeling different from ur brother.#or how ur male best friend fucked u over. since it's SO CRINGE. to have ANY feelings caused by a MAN#like be so for real. beloved. nobody is fucking saying this when men do it.#''oh it's cringe to like a woman or feel heartbroken by her.''#controlling women's feelings and actions???? it's more likely than u think.#btw op is nonbinary do NOT be gender essential on this post i'll kill u with my teeth#edit: btw for the person who dm'd me ''when is it misogyny and when is it actually valid''#pretty easy. if a man had done it#would it be cringe? . like if a man sang a sad song about ''she broke my damn heart''?#if he said ''i want to have kids with her'' or something sexually explicit?? like would u even LIKE IT if a male poet had said it?#& if it's like. nah a 35 yr old man being upset about this is cringe too. yeah it's just cringe. that exists. we both know it does.#but .... often i see this ONLY about women. and i can't help but hear like. how back in middle school#we were fed the lie ''girls mature faster.'' ... why do i have to be emotionally regulated? but if a man wrote about the same things?#..... idk . im pretty anti cringe culture to begin with. but this one feels so bad to me . ur still a person past 33.
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Just because you don't love yourself it doesn't mean I will stop loving you.
#my art#goro akechi#persona 5#shuake#p5r#ren amamiya#persona 5 royal#akeshu#for some reason i wrote a dif caption on all socmed#i like them all#u know me and my poetry and shuake i cant stop coming up w lines so oh well collect them all#twt tumblr and bsky#twt and tumblr are similar#oh right i have never told ppl i have either of those here#tumblr is my true home so i forget#anw enjoy my tablet pen is dying and replacement is 350 euros cause its a wacom display tablet from 2013-17 and yeah. fuck me :)#cant even say i will do comms to pay for a new one cause its maddening to draw on it rn#idk how i managed to draw this one - passion for shuake ig#ok thats too much rambling even for me oops#its been a bad week lots of expenses for someone who quit her job to do a post grad on my savings lol#im getting better though
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saw this post by YASuu_art and had to do a tkdb version ( ´▽`)
bonus:
#yeah the Hand is funky don’t @ me#also now looking much closer some of their jawlines too#but alas I am lazy . so fucked up they shall remain I guess#tokyo debunker#someone lmk if I should do the rest#although idk how much help the others would be in combat tbh#oh maybe luca and lyca and sho at most#tbf haru won’t be too helpful either he’s just :( cute :(#lin doodles
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Listen I’m not saying that *I* have the balls to buy a reflective vest and go off on a roadside or retention pond somewhere and start fucking around guerrilla gardening
But I am saying that the past week I’ve driven past many MANY people in reflective vests either doing roadwork or maintaining roadside shrubbery or whatever and the amount of times I considered questioning what the fuck they were doing is zero and the amount of times I would’ve even had the TIME to question what the fuck they were doing is zero
I saw groups of people I saw someone solo I didn’t question it I just figured ‘eh they’re doing SOMETHING and carried on. Depending on the location you pick, anyone who WOULD Karen up and interrogate you won’t even have the time space or ability to
#out of queue#ani rambles#guerrilla gardening#the only thing I could see being a problem is if someone who actually is like a coordinator for city management stuff seea you and goes#‘wait what the fuck no ones supposed to be doing shit around here today’#and even then like. idk. what are they gonna do.#i would feel like a hypocrite telling people ‘oh 100% go do this right now’#because as previously stated not even i have the balls to do it#but it is something im thinking about lately#like. how much can a reflective vest/jacket really cost.#you could probably find em wholesale. or on amazon
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do you ever get so caught up in genuine joy?
#gangle cult#gangle supremacy#the amazing digital circus#gangle tadc#tadc gangle#tadc spoilers#the amazing digital circus spoilers#my video buffered right as she fell I thought she died (before I remembered none of them can uh. do that.)#no but this sequence is so beautiful I WISH I could link music to images#the trumpets- being triumphant?#oh my fucking fuck#ALSO NOTICE THE LIGHTING CHANGE#dim and dark to then the overwhelming light and joy#then so caught up in the joy it hits her. literally.#hits her like a truck...#idk how to caption this but I really love this whole sequence
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I am a good person. I am a powerful person, I don't believe in evil. I think that evil is an idea created by others to avoid dealing with their own nature. I understand my own nature, good and evil have nothing to do with it.
#this is specifically post canon in a way idk how to articulate and also pertains to super specific headcanons idk how to articulate either.#I'm normal. I'm normal . I'm normal#The implications of Tommy becoming gman didn't do anything to my brain chemistry it's like fine. I'm like. Normal.#[LIE DETECTED]#SORRY . YOU CAN TRY AND ASK ME ABOUT IT BUT ILL PROBABLY JUST. MAKE NOISES AND GESTURE VAUGELY#it's so fucked. It's so fucked up. Oh my god#tommy coolatta#benry#benrey#hlvrai#half life vr ai#half life vr but the ai is self aware#...#tomrey#..........#CAUSE LIKE. OK. its implied gman does Something with Benry at the end of hlvrai. I think he's in some form of stasis like gordon.#do you guys remember. Holly's benry stream. Yeag#BUT LIKE... OKAY.... with Tommy being gman this is again not just some creep keeping anyone in stasis. It's TOMMY.#It's TOMMY and those are his FRIENDS yknow.#Is he protecting benry? Is he protecting everyone else from benry? WHOS TO SAY . who's to say.#I don't knowwwwwwwwwwwww#ouuighhghhh#This could be a companion piece to the Tommy & Gordon one I did months ago. Aoughhh#My art
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just this
#funny#humor#lol#memes#jokes#tumblr humor#funny memes#haha#funny post#funny shit#lol memes#dank memes#best memes#joke#tumblr memes#hilarious#hahaha#idk what else to tag#womp womp#idk how to tag this#oh well#i dont know#idk man#idk#idk what im doing#wtf is going on#what the fuck#wtf is this#what even#wtf
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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Nick and Pearls
#still trying to figure out how I wanna draw Phoenix.. specifically his eyes it’s hard for me to get em right#I couldn’t stop imagining Phoenix carrying Pearl on his shoulders during the investigation.. she was too worried abt maya that she#couldnt sleep!! I think its sweet she wanted to help with the investigation and tagged along#i think I do better with the investigation parts since its more like putting clues together.. but I suck at the trials cuz its hard to#keep up with their train of thought like. sometimes I’ll KNOW how to answer but idk what the right piece of evidence is#and the penalties make it nerve wracking but I wanna see it get put together#like ‘how can I prove the suicide note is forged’ oh maybe I can use Celeste’s photo since she signed it.. that way u can#compare the handwriting on the note right#WRONG u present the suicide note. I got fucking dinged for that sigh#ace attorney#aa#Phoenix wright#pearl fey#art#doodles
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remember when swk tried to take li jing and nezha to court for gross negligence in jttw? good times
#the lawsuit never progressed to the courtroom in jttw but i wanted to draw it anyway (idk how to draw a courtroom so this looks ugly)#i’m using the lmk designs for swk li jing and nezha because im too lazy to design outfits of my own#ik realistically they would not be in a courtroom they’d be in the jade emperor’s throne room but shhhhh#also the “reverse-adopted” part is true the demon (lady earth flow) took li jing and nezha in as family instead of the other way around#anyway full context is: tripitaka got kidnapped by lady earth flow#and swk found plaques in earth flow’s cave honoring li jing as her dad and nezha as her older brother#and swk’s like “OMG THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER i dont have to catch the demon I CAN JUST GO THREATEN LI JING TO DO IT FOR ME”#so he filed a complaint to the jade emperor and the JE sent the gold star of venus to grab li jing and nezha#li jing’s like “???? i only have four children and they’re all accounted for wtf are you talking about”#and nezha’s like “wait i just remembered that one demon whose life we spared and she was so grateful she took us in as family”#and li jing’s like “i totally forgot oh FUCK swk can you please drop the lawsuit this is so embarrassing i’ll get the demon for you okay”#the actual chapter (ch 83) is much funnier GO READ IT#jttw#journey to the west#sun wukong#jttw fanart#xiyouji#lego monkie kid#lmk#digital art#lmk fanart#art#artists on tumblr#li jing#nezha#taibai jinxing#monkey king#lego monkie kid fanart#my art
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*clasps your shoulders gently and looks you straight in the eye*
Keferon. Please read Ninth by Kyn on AO3. I think you would love it very much. It has a large chapter count, but don't be intimidated, it's very easy to get into. It is currently unfinished, but is being updated regularly.
You are the seventh person that recommended this fic to me so ahahahaha yeah
I’m doing great Help I hate some parts of it but I love the other parts I’m spinning in the blender
…..I made the moodboard….
#chapter 37#of 120 or something#I must be like 90k words in haha#large word count is not an intimidation. It’s an invitation haha#I love the fics that I can’t read in just one hour:)#I gotta say I don’t enjoy the concept of making robots into organic life#it’s just my preference#seeing them as humans or animals or whatever feels so fucking wrong#the concept itself drives me off#like. Strongly#But at the same time. This fic isn’t about them being ‘haha cute organics’#it’s ‘oh god. I was turned into something I’m not’#instead of teeheee they’re fluffy#it’s please free me from this fucking nightmare. please let me be myself again.#idk how to explain. I resonate I guess#it often feels very disturbing but the characters are also disturbed#So now I’m kind of stuck reading this fic because I just can’t stop lol#just politely skipping the parts that make me too uncomfortable#also#the body horror is….damn. Impressive. I didn’t expect to read about grotesque fleshy creature turning itself inside out#it’s not even aesthetic or symbolic#it literally looks like a fucking nightmare. Which is impressive also.#the flesh is g r o s s#the beginning got me struggling and skipping#but the intermission is currently ruining my sleep schedule#oh fuck….I usually send my posts to the authors of the fics I read…..but I feel like I might offend the author of Ninth if do this……..#there’s a tiny chance they’re following me….if it’s true then I wanna tell I’m sorry pls don’t take this seriously#your fic got me waay out of my comfort zone#huge points for writing Ratchet. Drift in this fic is…the grossest fucking thing I could probably imagine but Ratchet doesn’t even hesitate#he helps him and he cares for him. Which is…..imma be real my first instinct would be to set Drift on fire to end his misery
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“peeta is bisexual” you guys are losing the vision. peeta isn’t even straight. katniss INVENTED sexuality for him. whatever katniss identifies as, he’s like “yeah, i’ll take that one” no questions asked
#katnissexual#i’m joking btw#and i agree with yall#he says you’ve ruined all other women for me#yeah twink we know#the hunger games#katniss everdeen#thg#nightlocked-in#everlark#peeta mellark#hunger games headcanon#hunger games incorrect quotes#thg incorrect quotes#bisexual peeta#peeta what’s your sexuality?#idk#what do u mean u don’t know#i’ve never thought about it#well i mean… do you like guys? do u like girls?#he thinks for a second…. girl#just one#katniss he says#i’m convinced in modern au’s when he’s dating someone else he just pictures katniss when fucking and then feels horribly guilty for it later#peeta why don’t you look at me during sex?#huh? oh glimmer uh… i just get distracted by how uh… good it feels. yeah that haha#katniss was his first love in every thing and not only was she his first love she was his ONLY love#so he’s never even considered being attracted to girls besides her#so when he tries to date he finds girls that are objectively attractive but on a scale of 1 to katniss they are still 1’s to him#and that never stops being a problem
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dumb tma fic idea: when michael becomes the distortion it's still technically bound to the eye because his contract never ended with the institute/the eye. and he has to come in like once a week to do paperwork or he'll feel ill
#bro imagine#elias: oh michael can you organise these folders pls? thanks#*an hour later*#michael: here's your paperwork :) *sets it down on the table and it clips into the fucking underground tunnels* whoopsies. okay bye#idk i find the concept of it being extremely angry about having to do mundane office work very funny#the interactions with gertrude omg....#first week would be awkward as hell like#michael: hello gertrude :)#gertrude#who did not anticipate this:...hello michael#passive aggressively taking statements#michael: hi welcome to the magnus institute- omg hi i haven't seen you in ages! ! ! how are you! ! !#his latest victim that somehow managed to get out: What The Fuck#tma michael#tma#michael tma#michael#michael distortion#michael the distortion#tma the distortion#the distortion#idk i may be the only one who finds this funny.... idk
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Charles' thing is that he wants to feel alive and that's part of the reason why he decided to never move on to the afterlife right? Meanwhile Edwin thinks Charles will move on and that he'll be alone again because 'he isn't good with people'.
But then when the Night Nurse shows up a second time Charles is ready to go wherever -including Hell- as long as Edwin shouldn't have to go back there, meanwhile Edwin refuses that they be split up, and both are okay with being sent together to the Lost and Found Department to be sorted out later as long as they're together-
#does this make sense#like#charles -> stay on earth#then charles is like -> fuck earth edwin n°1#edwin -> stay out of hell and wander alone ig#then edwin -> stay with charles#although you can argue that charles wanted to stick around the one dude that was nice to him since the start but like#idk how to explain it#he'd rather argue for edwin's case than argue to stay on earth#edwin not going back to hell is his main goal in the discussion#meanwhile edwin's goal is that they stay together + that he doesn't go back to hell#i do wonder what it would've looked like if they'd gone to the lost and found department#do they try to escape it#does charles find out where he was headed#anyways another day of being very normal about this show#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#paynland#payneland#i know that charles' whole motivation isn't just that he wishes he were still alive and that he wish he hadn't had his life stolen from him#but my thoughts are not coherent enough for any type of deep character analysis essay and i would probably mischaracterize him horribly#wonder what was edwin's plan when he came out of hell cuz he went back to his highschool so was he just doing a bit of visiting#“oh hello place where i died”
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Okay so Like a Dog doesn't really fit Mikoto and John at all except for this one line maybe, but I really wanted to draw them in the pose.
Plus I wanted to make myself a new phone wallpaper that incorporates PAFL in some way.
No filter and text version under the cut
#milgram#milgram fanart#mikoto kayano#john kayano#john milgram#iris draws#fun fact: mikoto's eye was opened in my sketch but i couldn't make it look right#but hey it could represent mikoto willingly being in denial and refusing to open his eyes or something#~ symbolism woooooo#oh and the background is an edited screenshot from MeMe#anyway after drawing this i somehow fucked up my tablet#now it keeps drawing even when i'm just hovering/not even touching the screen#idk what to do#it's a veikk 1200 tablet if that helps#so i won't be drawing until i figure out how to fix that
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