#''hey this is a gender thing right? lets just throw it at the wall and see what sticks''

[earlyspringtranscendence]

i know this is FULLY the opposite of the point but i need a stuffed animal the exact size shape and most imptly weight of the meep bc im moping and having a meepsized stuffed animal would fix me

[xiepheer]

Hey this is just something for fun but I was wondering if you could write beast cookies with a reader who has a fat pet raccoon and that pet is basically like there kid ^^ (sorry for any spelling mistakes it’s late)

Beast cookies and their s/o with a fat pet racoon

Reader can be any gender!

Now being with all of them all together, they have realized something.

You have grown overly attached to the pet fat racoon you have.

They don't understand your tactics with this creature of yours but they think they could handle it.

They think.

They thought wrong and right.

Now all of this fight started when Burning Spice cookie was about to throw the thing out the window but you stopped him in time.

"Burning Spice cookie!!!?" You yell out which made him freeze his tracks before turning around with a angry expression.

"What?! This puny little thing scratched my soul jam gem!!" He yelled out loud.

"There's no need to be all angry and throwing him out! Give him!" You yelled back, snatching the big fat racoon into your arms and snuggling it to your chest.

"I'm gonna destroy that puny little thing!!! Just so you wait and see!!!" he yelled.

You carried the racoon back to your room and pet it all day meanwhile Burning Spice cookie was all upset and was trying to get the scratch off.

He does NOT understand why you treat the racoon like your kid when you can actually have some with him (😳 whoops).

Over time, he eventually got used to the racoon and even petted it sometimes if he wasn't out there destroying villages.

The beef with Mystic Flour cookie and the racoon started when it jumped on her and scratched her silky veil.

You immediately jumped in and grabbed the racoon.

She was heavily offended at the tear.

She even tried to turn the racoon into flour and that's when she realized.

The racoon isn't baked with flour.

So she couldn't do anything to it.

"Why must you keep such a strange creature here?" She asked. She clearly looks frustrated and upset at the fact that her veil was teared.

"Because eve he's so fluffy and such a stress reliever! Pet him!" You said, handing it out to her.

She eventually gave up on the idea of trying to make it turn into flour and let it rest on her lap.

Now she did gain relief upon time and got used to it being everywhere.

She just doesn't understand why you treat it like your own child.

Now her petting it is a VERY rare sight but you only catch her in her room when you're trying to find your pet.

Now you find Shadow Milk cookie trying to strangle the racoon to death but couldn't because of how fat it is.

"WHAT!? HOW!!? EUGHHH!!" He grunted as he tried. Burning Spice cookie and Mystic Flour just watched.

"Yeah I tried that before, didn't work." Burning Spice cookie said.

"MYSTIC FLOUR COOKIE!!! IT'S MADE OUT OF FLOUR ISN'T IT?!?!" Yelled by Shadow Milk cookie.

Mystic Flour cookie simply turned her head to Shadow Milk cookie and "No"

"What's up with you and that racoon anyways" Burning Spice cookie asked.

"IT RIPPED MY FAVORITE BUNNY PLUSH TOY'S HEAD OFF!!!!" He yelled

"Bunny... Plush... Toy?" Burning Spice snickered.

"WHAT. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO I DIDINT MEAN THAT!" Shadow Milk cookie exclaimed

"What's going on here?- NO NO NO!!" You exclaimed. Running and pushing Shadow Milk cookie off your fat racoon.

Shadow milk cookie slammed onto the wall like a cartoon did with a splat sound (I like this headcanon)

You carried the racoon to your lap and gave it the affections like how a parent would to their child.

Shadow Milk cookie tried many ways to get rid of it but he gave up 4 months later.

He would have it on his lap. Which was a relief and not trying to kill it.

Apparently you find out that the racoon was too fat that his strings couldn't find the nerves imbeded in the fat and couldn't control it.

So he basically gave up.

Eternal Sugar cookie and Silent Salt Cookie are still somewhere cuz they haven't gotten home yet.

Hey guys ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂)⸝♡

Sorry if the post felt a little something but I felt autistic and tried to make this funny.

So sorry if this isn't Canon or if you don't like it! I'm so so SO SORRY 😭 😭 🙏

[cece693]

I Don't Need A Gentleman

pairing: edward cullen x gender neutral reader tags: edward is old fashioned and kinda a prude, the reader is not, reader doesn't want vanilla sex anymore, alice and rosalie are cool sister in laws

You lounge on the massive, cream-colored couch in the Cullens’ living room, scrolling absentmindedly through your phone as Alice and Rosalie flip through a stack of fashion magazines. It’s one of those rare, lazy evenings—no imminent threats, no pressing vampire drama—just the family scattered around the house doing their own thing. Alice bumps your foot with hers. “You’re weirdly quiet today. Seriously, what’s up?”

You look up, tapping the phone against your knee. “It’s kind of about Edward.”

Rosalie arches a perfectly groomed brow. “What did our golden boy do now?”

Your cheeks—if they still could—might blush. “He didn’t really do anything wrong, exactly. It’s just…” You pause, gathering your thoughts. Even though you’ve been married to Edward for a while, it can still be tough to put some things into words. “He’s super considerate, and I adore that about him. But sometimes—okay, a lot of times—I just wish he’d show a little more…passion? Fire?”

Alice makes a sympathetic face, setting her magazine aside. “He can be a bit old-school, yeah. He has that ‘eternally seventeen’ gentleman thing down to a T.”

“Tell me about it,” you huff. “I’m a vampire, too! I mean, I’m not exactly made of glass. But he keeps treating me like I’m this delicate flower that might crumble if the wind blows too hard. I swear, sometimes our kisses feel like little pecks—like he’s worried I’ll spontaneously combust if he lingers longer than three seconds.”

Rosalie leans back, crossing her arms. “Look, Edward’s always been overly cautious. It’s one of his most annoying…okay, fine, endearing qualities. But you can’t blame him for wanting to protect you. He’s basically built that way.”

You sit up straighter, pushing your hair out of your face. “Totally. I get it. I love how he’s protective, and, well, a total gentleman. But I need more of that oomph. Y’know, that feeling where you just can’t keep your hands off each other.”

Alice snorts a laugh. “I never thought I’d hear you say ‘oomph.’ You should definitely say that to Edward’s face. He’d probably blush so hard, if vampires could blush.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you say, rolling your eyes playfully. “But how do I bring it up without hurting his feelings? He’s so sensitive. The moment he thinks he’s made me even slightly uncomfortable, he clams up.”

Rosalie sets the magazine aside with a little thump. “You’re married. He can handle the conversation. Trust me, you should be honest about it. Being in love for, what, decades? That means talking about the hard stuff, or the passionate stuff.” She smirks at that last part.

Alice nods enthusiastically, tucking her legs up beneath her. “The best way is just to be straightforward. Tell him how you feel without making it sound like he’s doing something wrong. Emphasize that you love his old-fashioned side—it’s part of why you married him, right? But also make it crystal clear that you want him to dial up the heat. You’re a vampire, for crying out loud, not some breakable human.”

You exhale, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. “You guys are right. I’m probably overthinking it. I’m worried he’ll take it the wrong way, but I can’t just keep ignoring how frustrated I am.”

“Exactly.” Alice taps your knee again. “He’ll listen, especially if you remind him that you still love all the things that make him Edward. He just needs to hear that you want him to trust your strength, too.”

Rosalie stands, stretching with the fluidity of a cat. “And if that doesn’t work, just throw him up against a wall somewhere. That’ll get the point across.”

Alice gasps in mock horror. “Rosalie Hale! That’s your brother you’re talking about.”

She smirks. “Hey, I’m just saying, sometimes subtlety isn’t the answer.”

You laugh, shaking your head. “Let me try talking first before I start tossing him around.”

Alice and Rosalie share amused glances as you stand, giving a quick wave. “Thanks for the advice, seriously.”

“Anytime,” Alice sings out.

“Go get ’em,” Rosalie adds, winking.

You head up the stairs to find Edward, heart fluttering in that familiar way only he can cause, despite both of you being, well, undead. He’s in his usual spot in the family’s library, flipping through a thick novel—something old and fancy, undoubtedly. The moment he senses you, he glances up with a small smile, eyes full of that unwavering devotion.

“Hey,” you say, crossing the room until you’re close enough to rest a hand on his shoulder. “Got a minute to talk?”

“Of course,” Edward responds softly, setting the book aside. He tilts his head, concern flickering in those golden eyes. “Is everything all right?”

“It is,” you reassure him, settling in beside him on the velvet couch. You can still hear Alice’s and Rosalie’s voices drifting faintly from downstairs, but you focus on Edward. “I just wanted to share something that’s been on my mind, and it’s really important to me.”

He nods earnestly. “You know you can tell me anything.”

Taking a breath, you gently place your hand over his. “So, we’ve been together for a long time. We’re married, and I’m a vampire—just like you, right? But sometimes I feel like you’re handling me with kid gloves. I love your gentlemanly side, and I’d never want you to completely lose that. But I want us to be able to express our love passionately, without you worrying so much that I’ll break.”

Edward’s gaze drops to your entwined hands. “I—I see,” he says quietly. “I never meant to make you feel like you weren’t my equal. It’s just…I can’t shake the habit of worrying you might be hurt or regret something if I let go too much. Even though you’re stronger than any human I once knew, it’s hard to override decades of caution.”

Leaning in, you brush a gentle kiss against his cheek. “I know. And I respect how deeply you care. But hey, my strength is legit.” You grin, flexing half-jokingly. “I promise, I can handle more. And if something’s too much, I’ll tell you.”

Edward’s lips curve into a small smile. “Thank you for being honest with me. I guess I needed a reminder that I’m not the only one in this relationship who has a say—especially when it comes to showing affection.”

Your heart (metaphorically) flutters at the genuine warmth in his voice. “Exactly. I love being with you, and I don’t want you to hold back. We can figure out the balance, you know, do the old-fashioned courting stuff, but also, I don’t know…maybe occasionally break the furniture?”

His eyes widen for half a second in surprise, then he laughs, the sound soft and musical. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he teases, sliding a hand around your waist to pull you closer. This time, when you tilt your head up for a kiss, you feel him lean in just a bit more—a tiny, tangible shift. His lips linger, his cool hand splaying across your back. The moment stretches on until you both draw away, contented smiles on your faces.

“That,” you whisper, thumb brushing against his jaw, “was exactly what I’ve been missing.”

Edward’s eyes shine with affection. “Then I’ll make sure you never miss it again.”

Downstairs, you can practically hear Alice’s “Yes!” whispered under her breath, and you know Rosalie is grinning in that smug way that says, “Told you so.” It makes you laugh softly. But that’s the beauty of this big, unconventional vampire family.

Edward gently presses his forehead against yours. Neither of you needs to breathe, but the moment feels like a breath of fresh air anyway. Old-fashioned or not, he’s all yours—and he’s finally letting you show him that you’re every bit the strong partner he deserves. And judging by the heat in his eyes, this is just the beginning.

[annoyinglilbro]

Angel who is so dainty and oh so genderless, "I don't do labels" until the demon forcemascs the shit out of him is that anything

They also beat the shit out of each other with flaming swords and twisted daggers because why not

The demon has been watching them for awhile. Everytime he thinks he knows, he doesn’t. The curves are soft, hair short, eyes round and doey. His lips are pouted and chest is flat. Their voice doesn’t give anything away either, and really all the demon wants to know is what’s under that stupid Lacey gown. Ofcourse he isn’t ever expecting the angel to let him see, they’re constantly at each others throats.

“Hey pretty bird, gonna sing a song for me today?” He asks when the angel walks by, only scoffing and rolling their eyes.

“Why would I ever sing for you? You’re not worthy. You’re damned already, there’s nothing I could sing for you.”

Demon Hums but continues his stride by their side. This is routine. He’ll hang around, push some buttons, just enough to watch that face turn red and words turn truely spiteful.

“Give me a chance and I’ll make you sing real pretty for me, doll. Just gotta get you out of those clothes. What’s an angel look like under those wraps anyway?”

The angel pulls their clothes tighter to their body, cheeks heating up a light pink and lips turning to a frown.

“Come on, I’m sure you’re a real pretty girl under there.” The angel glares, making the demon put his hands up in surrender. “Or boy. You’re a real pretty boy, aren’t you?” That gets a different reaction. A spark of something in the angel eyes.

“I’m not a girl or a boy. Angels are genderless, regardless of what’s under our uniforms. We don’t do labels, there’s no need. Sex is a sin.”

“Oh I think you’re wrong there, sweet boy. I think you know you’re a boy but you’re just too scared to say it. Come on, no one else is here. You can say it. You a pretty boy?”

It happens fast. The fist that makes contact with his face, drawing blood from his nose and lip. He’s stood in shock, watching the way the angels lip trembles and their chest heaves.

“Didn’t think you had it in you, pretty boy.” The demon quips, wiping away the stray stream of red with his thumb.

“Stop it. You’ll get me introuble. We’re not supposed to…want those things. Okay? Please for once will you just drop it?”

Ofcourse he doesn’t. He grabs the dainty boy by his arm and drags him into an empty alley. Slams him into a wall and points a silver dagger just under his chin. The Angel looks at him, wide eyed and shivering under his touch.

“Everything’s a sin with you angels, isn’t it? Always denying yourself the simple pleasures. You lot wouldn’t be so stuck up if you just learned to enjoy the little things. Like having your cock played with.” His hand is slipping through the robes, feeling between the angels legs and into his cunt. His fingers dance over his little dick, perked and hidden under the hood. The way the Angel gasps and tries to throw his head back further against the brick wall makes the demon throb in his pants. “There it is. Your pretty little cock, probably so neglected. Tell me do you ever touch it? Ever give it any attention? What do you when you feel that ache between your legs?” His fingers continue working at him the entire time.

“I…I don’t do anything I..I’m not su-supposed to hmmm…”

“Don’t lie to me, Angel. What do you do, really, when your little cock gets hard and your cunt gets all wet.”

The angel bites his lip, looking to the side.

“I…sometimes I’ll rub against m-my pillow…I don’t mean to though! My clit just gets so- ah!!” He’s cut off by a pinch to the sensitive bundle.

“That’s not your clit, baby boy. That’s your cock. You’ll address it as such, cause you’re a pretty boy right? And that’s what boys have, cocks.”

“We’re..we’re not supposed to lean towards either gender- fuck! Please please please!!” Another harsh pinch, fingers that tug. It brings tears to the angels eyes.

“Stop denying yourself. Let it feel good. Let yourself be who you really are. What are you?”

The angel whines, body shaking against the wall and face bright red. His hips have started moving against the hand between his legs.

“I’m..I’m a boy! I’m a boy, I know it. I know I’m a boy, okay? I know I am. But I can’t, you wouldn’t understand! I can’t just be that, okay! I could lose my wings, my halo, I could fall.”

The demon leans in, pointed teeth now against the angels neck.

“I think you’ll find there’s worse things in life than falling. But I get it. That’s fine. How about when it’s just us, you’re a boy? Does that sound good, baby?” He sinks his teeth into the pale skin between his neck and shoulder, marking his claim on the boy.

The angel lets out a choked sob, legs shaking when he cums against the demons fingers. He’s slumped into his body, energy drained and fight gone.

“What could you possibly understand about what I’m going through?” He mumbles, head against the demons shoulder now. The blade is still pressed against his skin but he doesn’t care much for it now. It’s an after thought, an empty threat.

The demon doesn’t say anything, just grabs the angels hand and slides it down his pants. The angel gasps when he feels the familiar slit and button like dick. He leans back to meet his eyes, and the demon just smiles.

“Not all sinners are born this way. Some of us were song birds once too.”

[callsign-rogueone]

where were you in the morning? - b.d.

Bodhi Durran x gn!reader words: 408 🏷: no book spoilers this time! just a little thought about our sweet boy 🥰 very brief mentions of torture (RSC), implications of sexual activity, no mention of reader’s appearance or gender.

You’d nearly given Bodhi a heart attack when he woke to find only cold sheets beside him. He’d checked his room and the bathroom attached before throwing on a shirt and heading upstairs to bang on Garrick’s door to ask if the section leader had seen you - he’d grumbled that he hadn’t, and that the younger boy needed to go the fuck back to sleep.

His head spun. Had you been kidnapped for another round of survival training? Were you chained to a wall right now, begging for mercy?

He finds himself in front of your room next, poised to knock, but puts his hand down before his knuckles can touch the wood. What if you left in the middle of the night because you thought this was a mistake, or a just one-time thing? Had you not enjoyed yourself? Oh gods, what if he'd made you feel pressured to-

“Hey,” you greet with a soft smile, interrupting the spiraling thoughts, and he whirls around, stunned.

“You’re okay,” he breathes, inspecting you for wounds — you’re a little out of breath, and there’s a fading bruise on your arm from a few days ago, but you’re otherwise unharmed.

You laugh nervously. “What’s gotten into you?”

“I thought they’d taken you for RSC, or that you regretted… what we did,” he admits, and your heart drops at the realization.

“Oh, no, love, I just went to go on my daily run with Imogen and Vi,” you explain, wrapping him in a hug and resting a palm over his pounding heart. “I’m sorry I scared you. You looked too peaceful to wake, so I just left a note on your desk.”

Oh. He’d assumed the worst immediately, too busy freaking out to look for a note. 

“Please wake me up next time, okay?” He asks in a soft voice, still holding you tightly, his face resting in the sweaty curve of your neck.

“Okay,” you agree, but he doesn’t let go. “Bo,” you prod gently, “I need to shower.”

“Right,” he says, taking a step back, a dark blush across his cheeks. “I’ll, uh, see you around, then.”

“Unless you want to join me? I’ll prove to you that I didn’t regret any of it.”

He blinks once, twice, cheeks reddening further as he realizes what you mean, and he nods a little too eagerly. 

You laugh. “Come on, lover boy. Breakfast is in half an hour, we’re burning daylight here.”

[kerjaath]

Singin' In The Shower

you thought the house was empty.

OR, you were taking a shower and started to get a little loud, unaware Yumi was still home.

reader lives in tgc house

no reader gender specified

word count: 1.1K

AN: hello everyoneeeee!!!!!!!!!!! first actual full fic posted on tumblr :333 if u wanna see more i gotchu!!! my fanfic suggestions r open and ready :3

AO3 LINK

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the house is always loud. whether it be breakfast time and everyone is huddled in the living room, stuffing their faces as they laugh at whatever is possibly playing on the t.v., or if it's the middle of the night and everyone is still streaming together.

quiet moments are rare, but the volume of the house never really bothered you too much.

It was your average, slow Thursday. Nothing was really going on all day, but when you left the shrouded comfort of your room to scavenge for a snack, you weren't too surprised to find the cabinets completely empty. Well, besides a stack of gamersupps and two empty granola bar boxes (damn you, Tanner, for taking the last ones without throwing out the boxes..)

You were in luck to find something in the fridge, though, and it wasn't long before you finished eating and headed back towards your bedroom.

unfortunately, before you could even slink into your room Isaac shouted towards you,

"Hey, we're all gonna go hit up Raising Cane's for dinner, you wanna come?" He held his hand on a corner of the wall, leaning towards you. Your cheeks slightly flustered up,

"Oh, I just ate, you guys can go without me," you laughed lightly to yourself. The chances of you eating right before everyone suddenly wanted to go out to eat - just your luck.

" 'Kay, well we're all gonna head out in a few minutes." Isaac already headed for the front door, where you assumed everyone else was waiting. You made a small hum, turning back to your bedroom door.

But, for a moment, you stopped.

Everyone else going out for dinner… you staying home, alone… home. Alone.

You smiled to yourself. You could do and be as silly as you wanted while everyone was gone without the fear of someone being nearby! Like… singing in the shower.

You already needed a shower anyway, your hair wasn't particularly in its best state, so why waste this chance to sing your heart out?

You turned on your heel, heading for the bathroom and setting a towel out. You waited for a moment, though. You couldn't just jump in the shower and sing your heart out…

You briskly walked back to the kitchen, turning to the front door. No one stood there… you quickly skipped your way to the window next to the door, moving a blind over to check to front yard. No one in sight.

You backed up, listening to the house… silence.

You shuffled to everyone's bedrooms, listening at the door before peeking in to check for anyone. But your search came back fruitless. You smiled, letting out a cackle, as you rushed to the bathroom.

Ushering the door closed, you started the water as you opened your phone, opening Spotify to find a fitting playlist 2000's girly hits… your 2023 Spotify wrapped… maybe even a playlist you couldn't stop listening to 24/7???

you paused for a moment. Yumi's album sat in your reccommended artist's playlist panels. You cracked a smile, clicking the playlist as you grabbed your speaker on the bathroom sink, hooking your Bluetooth up.

You never really sat and truly listened to Yumi's music on your own. There were the few moments you did, but it was never really a common everyday sort of thing. It was rarely even a monthly thing. But you liked his music. A part of you really only liked it so much because you could endulge in your guilty pleasure - just sitting and listening to Yumi's voice.

When you climbed in the shower, you just couldn't hold back your voice. Screaming along with Yumi, it felt almost… requited. As if he was really with you.

You barely even washed your hair, too busy flailing your hands around, dancing as the music got louder and louder.

...

When your solo concert finished up, your skin soggy and wrinkly, you climbed out of the shower and wrapped a towel around your chest. It draped down your stomach and past your waist, stopping around your mid-thigh. As you left the bathroom, you hummed a section of a song you didn't finish before you got out.

You were walking peacefully back to your room, but you froze in fear as you heard a light chuckle from behind you.

as you turned around, it was none other than the man himself - Yumi - standing in the hallway, cupping his mouth, his face flushing as he tried to hold in laughter.

"I thought you guys went out to eat.." you stumbled on your own words, your face flashing pale before beating a bright red. You realized your state of clothing, or really the lack of such, and made a minor yelp noise as you pulled your towel to cover yourself. It didn't really cover you any further, but what else were you to do in the moment?

"Yeah, they went out," Yumi stiffled another laugh, "but I decied to stayed home."

"And you didn't bother to tell me??" You practically muttered your words, mentally reliving the previous 45 minutes or so in the shower.

"You know, I didn't know you liked my music that much…" he grinned.

"Oh, don't get cocky.." you turned around to not face him, shaking the red off your face before you looked back at him.

"You cannot tell anyone about this." you tried to give him a serious look. He just laughed at you further.

"Stooop, I mean it!!" You shouted at him, annoyed. You felt as if you were back in elementary school, the older cool boys teasing you...

"And why should I do that?" It was as if he couldn't smile any bigger.

"Because.." you thought for a moment, glancing at the ground in thought before looking back up, "I'll strike you a deal."

"and that is…" he turned his head slightly, an eyebrow rising. It was obvious you had intrigued and caught him in your trap...

"If you keep this a secret…" you inched closer to him, leaving a small space in-between you two. His face grew a shade of pink, and you noticed how he glanced at your towel. "I'll give you a treat."

he thought for a moment, curious as to what this "treat" was.. he slowly, ever so slightly, nodded his head, but before he could even get a word in, you jumped to action.

You quickly threw your arms up and around his head, tugging his face down to your level, and kissed him.

Before he could even react, you turned on your heel and increased your pace to get back to your room, an uncontrollable smile taking over your burning face.

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[thefanficmonster]

Reader being jealous of Carmen and Sydney

Oooh I love that idea, dear! Hope you enjoy 💕

Pairing: Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Smoking, Swearing, Minor SPOILERS for The Bear (S2)

Genre: Fluff, Humor, Romance

The regular hustle and bustle of people making their way home from work has taken over Chicago now that the clock has passed 3 PM. Although sounds of chaos have been rattling the establishment since the hollow ungodly hours of the morning. Shouting bouncing off the walls, shit breaking, Fak and Richie being Fak and Richie. And all you've been trying to do is difuse the situation.

Sugar needs a break, as she very clearly told you with a single glance from across the room. You gave her a nod and let her close herself off in her office to take a breather while you took over keeping the circus in a somewhat straight line.

Currently, you're on your hands and knees, scraping all the debris and dirt that's gotten on the new tiles while the rest of the repairs were still taking place. You warned Carmy the tiles would look far from new if they were the first thing he chose to replace but he still stubbornly put his foot down on the matter. And now he realizes he shot himself in that same foot, giving you an apologetic look from where he's standing.

"Quit staring, Berzatto. Do your job." You scoff, continuing your task with a newfound aggression that threatens to take out the whole tile not just the stain.

You've been blowing him off and avoiding him all day - quite the abnormality since arguing with him is to you what a cup of coffee is to other people. A day for you ain't right unless it starts with a disagreement with him. To be fair, it still is a fight, just a silent one. It all but guarantees you a win when he can't even defend himself, oblivious to how he could've pissed you off in the first place.

"Why are you being mean?" It irritates you, that tone of amusement to his voice. He's entertained, he's fucking enjoying himself.

"I'm always mean." You reply without even sparing him a glance. Your point is accentuated when you hit Richie's knee with your free hand just as he starts getting rowdy with Fak. He yelps, scowling down at you before lifting his arms up in surrender. "See?"

Looking up, you see Carmy is no longer in his previous spot. Instead, he's knelt down a couple feet away from you, a scraping tool of his own in hand. "Oh I see just fine, Chef."

Your skin flushes with heat as you try to curb your annoyance - how is the fucker winning an argument he doesn't even know he's entered. "Not well enough as it would seem." You tap the stain he'd scraped at once or twice before moving on to the next, "This doesn't look clean to me, Chef." The amount of bitterness and sass compacted into that single word is almost palpable in the air between you two.

"Alright, that's it." He says, exasperated, dropping the tool and getting to his feet. He dusts his knees before offering you a hand, "Cigarette, now."

You don't budge, still at the stain you've been struggling with for the past five minutes, "I'm busy. Ask Syd."

At that, Carmen has the audacity to straight up laugh. That's' what pushes you to reach your boiling point. You look up to tell him the fuck off just to have the tool swiftly stolen from your grasp, "Hey!"

"Cigarette, Chef. Now." His eyebrows are raised, giving you an earnest look that is meant to pull at the strings of your apperhension. He's not dumb, he can see you're particularly ticked off today. He can also take an accurate guess as to why. But he sure as hell isn't about to have that talk in front of Dumb and Dumber. Not that they'd pay you two much mind considering they've entered another screaming match but still - they have a tendency of paying attention when one would least want them to.

You feel like a child being scolded for throwing a tantrum. The only reason you oblige and stand up is to preserve your own pride. You make a point of not taking the offered hand, getting to your feet yourself and dusting off the pants of your overalls that have now been decorated with a lot of dust.

Contant is still established when Carmy grabs your hand, leading you to the back door and out in the alleyway. To be frank, here, it's not like you tried to wiggle free from his grasp but that's semantics at this point.

He plucks a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, taking two out. He traps one between his lips before extending the other to you.

You're not a regular smoker but you also don't turn it down when you're offered one. Especially not when you're stressed. With that taken into consideration, despite Carmen being the root of your stress at the moment, you still accept the offer and reach up for the cigarette.

Much to your annoyance, however, he snatches it away before you can take it.

Your hand balls up in a fist as you glare daggers and any other sharp objects at his smug expression. With a shake of his head and a fucking chuckle he offers it again, hoping you got the memo this time around.

The only reason you cave is just so you can put an end to this back-and-forth. So, despite your better judgement you bite the bullet and lean in, taking the cigarette between your lips.

It brings a smile to his face that you happily smack off had you not been at work at the moment. Instead, you focus your gaze on the flame he flicks on and inches closer to the cherry of your cigarette.

You take a long drag, inhaling the smoke with relief. It doesn't last long though since Carmen just has to open his mouth again.

"I'll ask you again - why are you being mean?" He lets out a cloud of smoke in the air, once more exhibiting exasperation you believe he has no right to feel.

Your jaw is set and so are your narrowed eyes as you follow suit - releasing the nicotine from your lungs, "And I'll tell you again - I'm always mean. I'll do you one better - why are you wasting time? We've got a lot of shit to do and we gotta do it in a very short fucking time and you're here taking smoke breaks! Sugar is losing her mind, Fak and Richie are gonna kill each other, Cicero is breathing down our necks, Syd is counting on you..."

"And you're not?" He cuts you off, the smugness now long gone from his features.

One hand rests on your hip while the other brings the cigarette back to your lips, "That doesn't matter."

You're almost satisfied to see the irritation you've been feeling all day now take hold of him, "Like hell it fucking doesn't."

Rolling your eyes, you flick your wrist to check your watch, "You should get going. Don't you have a menu consultation with Syd?" You mumble around the tobacco stick in your mouth, avoiding his gaze entirely now that you've lost all sense of subtlety to your anger.

If he were to ask you point blank if you are jealous of his close partnership with Syd, you'd laugh. And it is indeed laughable when you factor in the knoledge of how disinterested she is in terms of Carmy outside of a work setting. But still there's that nagging little piece of shit voice in your head...

Before you know it, Carmy has discarded his cigarette and has closed the space between the two of you. One set of fingers tilt up your chin while the other plucks the cigarette from your mouth. You're given no time to argue before his lips crash into yours.

You kiss him back instinctively, your brain momentarily short-circuting and conveniently wiping all the anger from your system. It returns only briefly when Carmy pulls awat from you. "It can wait."

You reestablish your sass a second later, grounding yourself into the annoyed act once more, "Nope, none of that." You shake your head, taking a step back, "I can handle you being corny but not inefficient and irresponsible." You steal back your cigarette before waving him off, "Go on, shoo."

His bright blue eyes twinkle with amusement, crinkles appearing at their corners as his face is lit up by a smile, "Alright, alright." He mutters in defeat. Still, he manages to sneak a kiss at the corner of your lips before reentering the restaurant-to-be. He stops in the dorrway, turning around to face you, "We're doing a movie night tonight. For real, this time."

A small chuckle escapes you as you attempt to feign nonchalance with a shrug, "You said the same fucking thing last time."

He points a finger at you, giving you his word, in a way, "You'll see." With that, he disappears inside, leaving you to finish your cigarette alone and with the dorkiest smile adorning your face.

It turns into a full blown laugh at the thought of how offended Syd would be if she knew of that little spark of jealousy within you. Truthfully, you owe her an apology.

[realwitchieshit]

Bad Idea, Right?

Summary: Your ex, Melissa, invites you over when you’re out with friends. Despite your better judgement, you go see her.

Warnings: alcohol consumption, implied cheating (kind of?), gender neutral!r but there is one use of the word “girl”, lmk if i should add more! :)

A/N: this fic is inspired by “bad idea, right?” by olivia rodrigo. this is my first fic so i’m sorry if it’s bad. enjoy!

part 2

The beat of the club’s music vibrated throughout your chest as you danced with your friends, the dim lighting making it hard for you to see anything but black silhouettes. This had been one of the only times you’d all been able to go out this month, your friend group having your own things going on. You were pretty tipsy at that point, having thrown back a couple of vodka shots reluctantly.

Despite the booming of the bass, you still felt your phone buzzing in your back pocket. You pulled it out, looking to see who was calling you. The words DO NOT ANSWER were plastered on your phone screen, the contact name you gave Melissa after you went to see her “just to catch up”. Before you had the chance to scurry off to the bathroom to answer the call, there was a hand on your elbow.

“Girl, do not answer that,” Your friend, Mira, warned, wearing a look of worriedness and sternness.

You watched the phone screen as it turned black, your stomach turned, “I’m just gonna tell her I’m busy…”

“You’re doing so good, babe. Don’t let all that work go to waste.” Mira was right, you hadn’t been alone with Melissa at all in the last month. You chewed on your bottom lip, contemplating. Would it really be that bad to call her back and tell her you’re busy?

“I’m just gonna call her back and tell her I’m busy, I swear.” You said, causing Mira to drop your arm and drop her with a look that said “are you serious right now?” She seemed like she wanted to say something but decided against it, instead just shrugging and turning back to the group reluctantly.

You pushed through a sweaty crowd of people to get to the bathroom. Once there, you opened your calling app. You chewed on your thumbnail, second-guessing yourself. This was practically a routine now, Melissa would call you and you would drop everything you were doing to go see her. The only reason the routine had stopped was because the last time you were there, Melissa had rudely woken you up in the morning by throwing your clothes at you. She told you Gary was coming over and you needed to either leave or pretend to be sleeping in her guest room.

Yes, she’s your ex and is actively talking to someone else, but she’s also your coworker. It’s good to be friendly with your coworkers. And besides, can’t two people reconnect?

With that, you clicked on Melissa’s contact and called her. You placed the phone to your ear, still nibbling on your thumbnail. The line rang for a total of two and times before you heard a quiet “hey”.

“Hi, I saw that you called.” You muttered around your nail.

“Yeah, I was gonna ask if you would wanna come over.” There was a beat of silence before she added, “I made some tiramisu for Barb and I have some leftovers.”

Tiramisu. You hadn’t had tiramisu since you and Melissa broke up. You had attempted to make it yourself one night, but you failed miserably. Melissa probably knew that.

“I don’t know, Mel. I don’t think we can keep doing this and I’m–” Before you could say that you’re out with friends, Melissa interrupted you.

“C’mon, hon. It’s just tiramisu, nothin’ else.” Her tone lowered in that way it did when she was trying to sound serious, it made you smile lightly. “Nothin’ else” usually meant Melissa would wait at least five minutes before she began trying to get you into bed, and she would often succeed.

“I’m tipsy.”

“Great, so am I. I’ll order you an Uber.”

You sighed, leaning your head against the bathroom wall. Here we go again.

“I’m… on the way.” With that, you told her where you were and said goodbye.

You went back out onto the dancefloor, finding your group and telling them goodbye, feigning illness. A chorus of “aww”’s and “we have to go out again soon”’s broke out in front of you while Mira looked at you disappointedly while shaking her head slowly. You shot her an apologetic smile and made your way to the exit. You stood outside the club, the late summer night breeze caressing your skin gently.

The ride to Melissa’s house was quiet, the Uber driver having the music set to a quiet volume. When the car pulled up to her neighbor’s driveway, you stepped out and thanked him. You waited until the car was out of your sight before walking down the road to Melissa’s house, just like she’s told you to. Due to the lack of clothing your clubbing outfit included, the once cool breeze made you shiver as you waited for Melissa to open the door.

She opened the door with a shit-eating grin on her face and a glass of wine, making you crack a smile and look down at your shoes. She sidestepped to let you inside, looking you up and down. You ignored her gaze and walked in, enjoying how her house always seemed to be set at the perfect temperature. You walked straight to her kitchen, telling yourself that you would only have a piece and take whatever leftovers she had.

“Did you get all dressed up for me?” She asked playfully, earning her a quick glare from you.

“No, I was out with some friends.” You answered, cutting a piece of tiramisu and setting it on the plate you had already gotten from the cabinet.

Melissa’s brows furrowed, “Oh, I didn’t mean to interrupt your gathering. I could’ve just brought you some on Monday.”

“No, don’t worry about it. I wasn’t having that much fun, anyway.” You and Melissa both knew that was a lie, when you were out with friends, especially Mira, it was damn near impossible to get you home. Even so, Melissa brushed it off and watched as you moved about the kitchen to get a fork before settling across from her at the island. There was a silence in the room as you ate your tiramisu, a sort of tense silence.

“Well, can I make it up to you? Barb recommended this really good red, so we can sit on the couch and have some wine.” She offered, you gripped your fork tighter.

You were about to tell her no, you really were, but then you looked up at her. She didn’t look different from the last time you saw her, which was yesterday, but your heart still skipped a beat when you looked into those green eyes. It’s like all higher-brain function had stopped abruptly, the voice of reason drowned out by a certain redhead’s voice. You tapped your fork against the plate and looked at your watch. It was still early. Just a glass of wine or two, then you’ll order an Uber and go home.

“Sure. But no funny business.” You pointed your fork at her with a playful smirk.

She raised her hands, “No funny business. Just wine to make up for your lost night.”

A glass of wine turned to two, and two turned into three, and before you knew it Melissa had you laid down on the couch while she kissed down your neck. In this now much more inebriated state, all you could focus on was how Melissa’s lips felt against your skin and how nice her perfume smelled. You felt Melissa’s hands begin fiddling with the button of your shorts and you snapped out of your haze. This is a bad idea, right? This is a seriously terrible, stupid, idiotic idea, right?

“Melissa,” You breathed out. She pulled away from your neck, lifting herself to look at you. She looked breathtaking, her hair falling around her face, her lip gloss smudged, her cheeks lightly flushed from the wine and the makeout session you just shared.

“Yeah?” She asked, her voice just as breathless as yours. It made your heart jump.

Fuck it, it’s fine.

“Bedroom.”

She smirked at you, lifting off the couch and grabbing your hand to pull you with her. She leads you to her room, fingers intertwined. Tomorrow, you’ll be telling your friends that you just tripped and fell into her bed.

[obsolescent]

Happy Birthday, Leon

Pairing: Leon S. Kennedy x Reader

Summary: As Leon’s assistant, you help keep everything organized for him. One day while arranging some papers on Leon’s desk, you stumble across his birthday. Noticing that it’s only a few weeks away, you begin to prepare a surprise celebration for him, unbeknownst to you how Leon feels about said day.

Author’s Notes: Hey! This was not planned, but I was like oh, wow, the day I headcannon as Leon’s birthday is April 1st…Should I? And so I did lol. This follows a few HCs I have for Leon! I couldn’t sleep anyways and needed something to take my mind off some real life issues occurring, hope you enjoy! (I cut it close with this one lol).

Content Warnings: Angst, mention of losing parents, grief, gender neutral language used for reader, Leon and the reader have ties to the southern United States, fluff, Leon healing his inner child.

Without you around, Leon would surely be running around like a chicken with its head cut off. 

You think about that metaphor and grimace, realizing how dark it actually is. With a shake, you rid your mind of it and resume your task. Leon had to abruptly leave for an important meeting that was called at the last minute. You could hear him bitching about it the whole time while scrambling for the necessary papers for said meeting, and Leon had left his office in complete shambles.

Your smaller office was connected to his, ‘yeah, an office, if you could call it a room even, more like a shoebox,’ and after throwing the door into the wall with a BANG and a rushed “Meeting, be back whenever,” Leon was gone. After settling your heart rate back to its regular rhythm, you had gotten up and checked the wall for any doorknob shaped dents.

Praying to the Lord that the doorstop still does its job after the one thousandth time of being repeatedly smacked, you glanced into his office and stopped. Typically, about once a month you like to help Leon out with his space, straightening things up for him, but this…

‘I don’t know how this man works like this…I can only imagine what his house is like.’

Back in the present and at the task at hand, you start with the papers thrown about the floor, gathering them together. You begin to sort them by the date, noticing that some even have footprints on them! ‘This man…’ you groan, trying to dust the sheets off, only succeeding in smudging the dirt further.

Stacking the documents off to the side, you begin clearing off the top of Leon’s desk, grabbing dirty mugs with old coffee in them and pouring them out in the sink in the kitchenette. You carry a roll of paper towels, disinfectant spray, and a duster back to his office.

Dusting what little trinkets he had on his desk, you run it over his desktop computer and its keyboard. Trying not to apply too much pressure when you start going over the keys, you manage to bump into the mouse, waking the computer from its sleep.

Glancing at the screen, you notice it didn’t lock. ‘He’s like a secret agent or something, right? Why does he not have this locked? Or…Could it be that he doesn't know how to?” You think back on how God awful he is at working any device, having to sometimes ask multiple times a day for help. You let out a puff of air and grin, already thinking about how you’re going to bring it up once he’s back.

Though, something catches your eye on the screen. His personnel file is pulled up.

He isn’t really secretive about his background, more like you never have an opportunity to ask about it. Leon’s mentioned friends and some semblance of a family, and if you try hard enough you can still make out a southern drawl on the tailend of some of his words.

A small peek wouldn’t hurt. 

You bend over, face just a few inches away from the screen, and begin scanning, finding the first one you’re looking for.

‘The southern lilt makes sense now!’ 

Seeing that he comes from a small town, a smile forms on your face, thinking about the stories he could possibly tell you about it, the yapper he is. You store the location into your brain, planning to do your own research later. 

The next one that catches your eye is his date of birth. ‘April Fool’s Day? Oh, poor guy probably got so much shit for that in school. I bet his parents had a hard time convincing their family that he was actually born that day and it wasn’t a prank. Also an Aries, fitting for him’ 

You laugh at your thoughts but freeze, your gaze moving to the small calendar propper up on his desk. 

‘That’s in 3 weeks! Why didn’t he say anything?’

He may not care about it much? Some people, as they get older, don’t hold as much emphasis on things like that. Regardless, you’ll do something for him, it’ll be small and simple, but hopefully it’ll open him up for more discussions about his past, or at least put one of those rare smiles on his face.

You finish cleaning up his office and put away the supplies, brainstorming ideas for the rest of the day.

-

As his birthday gets closer, you sneak in decorations a little at a time, not wanting him to catch onto what you’re planning. The night before the big day, you tell Leon you’ll be staying later to catch up on some paperwork. None the wiser, he nods, going back to his computer screen.

Once he’s left for the day, your plan is set into motion.

You pull out the items stashed in the back of your desk’s drawers, starting with a banner, each letter a different color painted on burlap, spelling out “HAPPY BIRTHDAY”. You tape it to the front of his desk, then move on to the kitchenette. You pull out a tablecover, white with polka dots the same color as the letters on the banner. You set two party hats down on the table, laying out the candles you’ll be putting in his cake–er pie?

Trying nonchalantly to ask about his favorite desserts, he had mentioned he hadn’t had pecan pie in awhile, that it used to be one of his favorites. Thanking your granny for always making one for almost every holiday, you knew that recipe off the top of your head.

You triple checked that it was still in its container in the fridge. ‘It hasn’t grown legs and walked off.’ You giggle at the thought and shut the door, going through the space to check once more on your handiwork. 

Satisfied, you shut the lights off and lock up, a bounce in your step as you walk to your car.

-

You’re up before your alarm screams at you, too excited about today. You head into the office earlier than usual, getting the pie out from the fridge and setting it on the table, sticking the candles in it.

You feel like your body is literally vibrating from excitement, not knowing why you’re so thrilled. 

I mean, yeah you’re throwing a surprise party for Leon, but there’s something else there. Maybe it’s that you get to do something for him? You do feel a bit giddy whenever he thanks you for tidying up his office, his lopsided smile making your own smile turn into a grin.

‘Maybe you have a crush on Leon?”

Oh, it could be that. Dude’s hot, a bit dorky. A flirt, too, even if he doesn’t mean to come off that way. You could see it. You don’t have long to contemplate the thought, hearing his Jeep pull up.

Screaming internally, you rush to grab your party hat and throw it on, turning off the light and moving to stand in the middle of the room.

The door opens with a soft chime. Leon steps into the foyer, muttering, “Why the hell are the lights out?” 

Leon walks into the room and flips the switch, and you scream, “SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LEON!”

You startled him it seems. Leon jumps back, hand hovering over his side before realizing it’s just you, and his hand drops.

‘Damn, he almost pulled his gun on me, maybe that wasn’t the best idea, next time I definitely won’t–’

“How did you know it was my birthday?”

Snatched from your internal monologue, you stare at him. 

He seems…upset?

“Uh, w-well, back a few weeks ago, I was cleaning your office and saw that your file was pulled up, I happened to glance at your birthdate! Also, it totally makes sense, like, of course you’re an Aries. Athletic, brave, charming, stereotypical and…”

You trail off, your rambling dying off at his hardened expression. 

Leon walks towards you. 

He’s not the tallest man, but with the expression on his face along with his body language, you feel minuscule.

You try to ease the tension in the room, by babbling, of course.

“I made you a pie, pecan! Y-you said you hadn’t had it in awhile, and my family makes a really good one, it’s actually my granny’s recipe–” He holds a hand up to silence you.

He walks back to the front door and locks it, before stalking past you into his office.

“Come in and close the door,” he says cooly.

Dread seeps into you, breathing beginning to pick up. ‘Is he going to fire me?’

You take a deep breath and release, turning and walking into his space, closing the door behind you.

You sit in the loveseat in front of his desk. It seems like the banner stares you down as well, seemingly mocking you in this turn of events.

He sits down in his chair and leans back, chin in his hand while he stares off to the side.

You stare at your lap, hands sweaty as you wring them. 

“You have no idea why I don’t celebrate it.” 

Your eyes dart up to look at him, but he’s still staring off, but his expression looks softer now.

You think he’s talking out loud, so you don’t answer, looking down once more. 

“My parents died when I was younger. After they were gone, no one threw me any parties. No more gifts, no more cakes. I couldn't even tell the other kids because they thought I was lying about the date. So I stopped celebrating it. Kept it to myself, until now.”

Your heart hurts for him. The pain behind his words are evident.

“I’m so sorry, Leon,” you blurt out, unable to hold back the wave of emotions, “You deserve to have a happy birthday, with cakes and gifts and all, surrounded by those who care for and love you. I just wanted it to be a good day for you, I didn’t mean to bring back such awful memories.”

You’re a mess, the horrible feeling of guilt filling you, your eyes red with unshed tears. You rise from your seat and walk around to him, and Leon stands up on instinct.

You don’t even care if this isn’t professional at this point. You wrap your arms around his waist and embrace him, your tear soaked face soaking into his button up.

He says your name, “It’s okay, you didn’t know,” he tries to comfort you as best as he can, going to pat your head and disturbs the streamers around the edges of the party hat you’re still wearing. You gasp and pull back, ripping it off and tossing it to the ground.

You apologize again, making your way towards the desk to pull the banner down. You’re pulling the tape off the corner when Leon’s hand stops you.

“Hey.”

Leon says softly, his fingers grasping your wrist, tugging your hand away. 

“You said I deserve to have a happy birthday, don’t I?” He asks, and you jerk your head in a nod, “Of course, yeah.”

He smiles, “Well, there’s always today, it’s still my big day, ain’t it?” 

He walks over and picks up the hat up off the floor, holding it out to you.

“Let’s start with that pie, I’m starvin’.”

[pocketmania]

🎨🔫☁️ ❤️‍🩹👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

Hey. Im Kirbop.

I would like to request some Marie x Reader stuff.

i have been struggling severely with my self image and feelings of not being good enough along with depressive slumps, something to help with those would be wonderful. If its not too much to ask.

Hi kirbop! I'm so sorry all of that's happening to you. But, I hope you know that you are good enough, even if it doesn't feel like it. You are just as capable and amazing as the next person, and I'm so proud of you for making it this far. And, as always, it's never a burden to ask for anything.

Now onto the thingy

‧₊˚✧[ The Love You

Receive ]✧˚₊‧

(🎨🔫☁️❤️‍🩹👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨) - splatoon comfort

(reader type) - gender neutral /

androgynous

‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅

- - - - - - -

To put it plainly, you felt like shit.

You were currently rotting away in bed, lying on your side and swaddled in your blankets, facing the wall. You knew everyone thought you were worthless. You knew everyone would throw you away the given the chance.

You couldn't stand looking at the person you saw in the mirror. You couldn't think anything positive of them, either.

Just then, you felt a hand caress your shoulder. You turned your head and saw Marie standing over you. "Hey, you okay over here?"

You didn't want to be a burden. So you lied.

"I'm fine, yeah." you mumbled, plastering a fake smile onto your tired face. Unfortunately, for you, she saw right through your little facade. She gave your shoulder another little rub and squeeze.

"Be honest with me," she said to you as she said down next to you. "Are you feeling okay? You can tell me anything, y'know." You felt guilty for lying, so you eventually spat out the truth.

"... Do you regret meeting me?" You finally asked, turning your upper body to face her. Her expression softened, and she sat next to you, letting go of your shoulder.

"Of course not. What makes you think that?" She asked, glancing at you. You didn't feel like sharing all your thoughts, so you cut your explanation short.

You sighed and stared at the wall. ".. I just feel like I'm not good enough. Like I'm worthless.. I know that you pity me." All Marie did was stare ahead and nod. You knew it probably annoyed her a lot when you were like this. You couldn't help it, but you wished you could-

"You're very wrong about that last statement." She turned to face you as she talked. "I will never pity you. I am and always will be very proud of you. You are capable."

You looked over to her. "And I mean that with all of my heart. You are the light of my life. I'm glad I have you." You began to tear up and give a small smile. You wiped away your tears with the covers.

You came out of your little blanket ball to give Marie a tight hug. You began to sob and say things like, "I'm just worried you'll leave," to which she responded with things like, "And you know I won't". It continued until you were reduced to just crying.

"You don't know how much that means to me." You finally said in between your cries. She dug your face into her neck crevice and nodded. She held the back of your head and scratched at your scalp with one arm. The other was wrapped around your waist to secure you.

You were still kinda iffy about your feelings and hers, but if what she said was true, then you could rest easier at night. Because you could rest easier together.

- - - - - - -

‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅

[presidentlokis-hornyhelmet]

:33 jealous pavitr x reader bc the reader just bought merch of him in his spider form and its an adorable little plushy and he gets mad bc they keep kissing and cuddling it instead of him the entire day/night

I'm (Not) A Jealous Guy

👉MASTERLIST 🕸️

Pairing: Pavitr prabhakar x Gender neutral!reader Tags: Jealousy Summary: Pavitr is totally NOT jealous of a Spider-Man plushie. Not at all. Never. (..or is he?👀) Jealousy prompts credit :  @creativepromptsforwriting

Also Read on AO3

“Pavitr!”, you yell, hugging your wall of muscle from behind. He smiles, pecking your cheek.

You were out shopping with Pavitr Prabhakar, your boyfriend and your superhero. He evidently hates shopping, with what having to stand for hours at a clothing store, but savours evey moment with you. The increasing crime rate in Mumbattan has him on his heels all night, and with having to study for finals it’s a tad too much of a stressor- which is why he never turns down an opportunity to let you pamper him.

Plus, it’s a great excuse to be cozy. To constantly hold your hand, kissing it intermittently, throw an arm around your waist and hug you close to feel your comforting warmth and, of course, admire you in your little moments -the kink in your brow when you think too hard, the amazed eyes when you find the exact thing you were searching for…

Is it even possible to fall for the same person so many times? Again and again and again?

“Look what I found!”

Your cheerful voice snaps him out of his reverie and he looks down at the toy in your hand. Oh, wait- it’s a merch: a plushie. Not just any plushie, it’s a plushie of him.. as Spider-Man.

Pushing his coveted raven curls aside for closer judgement, his eyes narrow in scrutiny. Huh. No one told him they made these. (Aren’t they supposed to get, like, a copyright or something from him..? )

“You don’t like it, Pav?”, You ask, seeing his slightly frowned lips and narrowed brows.

The plushie had a big head and comically smaller body, stuffed to make him look more like a teddy than a crime-fighter. The mask was a lot less detailed -admissible, but –good God, are those webs under his armpits?!  Well, at least they got his hair right. Just the perfect amount of curls, nothing less or more. 

“No, I’m just.. surprised”, he said, finally. “He’s okay.. But, Y/n, do I really have a big head?”

You giggle, giving his shoulder a playful punch as you hug the toy close to your chest. “Of course not, babe. It’s just a plushie, it’s made to look comfy. And sooooo cute!”

“Hey!”, he pouts, “You said I was the cutest! And he doesn’t even have dimples like me”

Pavitr aggressively points to his dimples to make a point but you take the opportunity to poke and pinch his cheeks. He tries to slap your hand away, giggling.

“Gods, I have made a terrible mistake”, you say dramatically, failing to hide your laughter. “You’re right! Nothing matches your cuteness, Oh, Prince of Dimples!”

“Y-Y/n..”, Pavitr stutters, going instantly pink in the cheeks, bashful. He’s always been shy about his dimples. You’re the only person allowed to touch them, apart from Maya aunty, which you take full advantage of.

You giggle clutching the plushie closer and pull him towards the next aisle, not noticing his eyes comically narrow at his cotton counterpart. As if he vows rivalry with it.

‘This isn’t over, fiend.’

-----

The plushie is evil. That’s the only reasonable explanation Pavitr could think of. A minion sent by some evil overlord to take your love away from him. Yes, that must be it!

What else makes sense? You’ve been spending more time with the cotton-head than with the real him, cuddling it all the damn time and taking it with you everywhere. You no longer hug him, preferring the stuffed imposter instead.

His nostrils flare comically as you snuggle the plushie closer to your chest, kissing it. Oh, the audacity! It has even commandeered Maya aunty’s attention, making her call it cute and adorable!

Pavitr must put an end to this before the evil plushie minion harms either of you.

“Why do you insist on flaunting him in my face?”

Maya auntie had invited you both over for tea and you were watching TV when Pavitr asks this out of the blue.

In his defense, he’s had enough of his stupid fabric-faced doppelganger taking you away from him. 

The cookie is stopped halfway to your mouth as you turn to him, brows raised in confusion. “Who?”

Pavitr makes a stressed noise, jerking his hand towards the plushie seated cozily in your lap. As if it owns you.

“I just don’t understand what you see in him.”

Amusement colours your features as realization dawns. “Pav, babe”, You begin as normally toned as possible, trying so hard not to giggle in his face. “He’s a plushie.”

“Exactly! Why would you need him when I’m right here?”

With a smirk he stands up on the coffee table and stretches his arms out in the classic Shah Rukh Khan pose.

You can no longer control and burst out laughing, clutching your tummy as you fall sideways onto the couch, much to Pavitr’s confusion.

“Oh my God, you’re so jealous! This is great to watch! Maya aunty, come, you have GOT to see this!”

He jumps down, mouth fallen open and cheeks gone pink as he stutters out a denial. “W-what? You’re crazy! Jealous? Me? Pff. Never.”

The face he makes as he tries to save face is even more funny. Maya aunty passes by, tapping her nephew’s shoulder. “Oh beta, jealousy can wreck a relationship.”

Pavitr scoffs, putting his hands on his hips for emphasis. Oh yes, he definitely isn’t jealous of a toy.

“M-maya aunty, I’m not jealous, I’m being absolutely reasonable. What would I even be jealous about? Pfft! Why would I ever be jealous of a.. a plushie? That's ridiculous. You’re being ridiculous. I am sooo not jealous, Y/n”

But even Maya aunty can control for only so long. She cups her mouth to hide her giggles, holding onto the arm of the couch for support as she sits down.

Pavitr huffs, watching the two important people in his life laugh like crazy at him. He just squints his eyes at you both and turns away, pouting.

“Oh, Pavu…”, You go up to him and hug him from behind, finally managing to get your reigns. Turning him around, you cup his face and press your foreheads together. A shy smiles blooms in his face as your noses touch.

“The plushie is no match for you, meri jaan, you’ll always be my hero; my Spider-Man. Nothing can replace you.”

He laughs, pulling you Into an embrace, blushing and giggling as you kiss his dimples.

“Plus”, you say, pinching his dimples as you feel them go hot under your touch, “You’re so adorable when you’re jealous.”

“I…- I’m not- oh, C’mon guys!”

Maya aunty joins your laughter when Pavitr pushes you away, playfully rolling his eyes as he escapes your pinching fingers.

______

A/N: look who's alive !1!!! Sorry for going mia all of a sudden! Hope you enjoyed the fic tho <3333333 lots of love - plhh

[specialagentlokitty]

Sherlock x Teen!reader - my kid

Hello! Just recently found your daughter!reader and Sherlock fanfic and it is amazing!!! The only bad thing about it was that I've already read it so much it's basically memorized lol. Anyways, I am here to politely ask that you do another adopted reader Sherlock fic, but could you do gender neutral reader please? I don't care about the plot, there's just so little child!reader Sherlock in the fandom its scary out there. No rush and thank you if you decide to!!! - Anon💜

John was the one who first found you, sitting in the police station as you kept tugging on the cuffs that held you to one of the benches while Anderson and Donovan snickered while looking at you.

“You’re laughing at a kid?” John snarled at them.

They both turned to look at him, looking him at and down unimpressed as they scoffed a little.

“They try this every single time they’re here, they must be stupid or something they never learn.” Donovan shrugged.

You glared at her and tugged at the cuffs, making the metal creak a little under the sheer force and she shuffled back a little.

You smirked and did it again.

You knew you couldn’t break the cuffs, you weren’t that strong, but a sudden tug that hard? Of course it would strain the metal.

“Let me go and we’ll see if you’re still laughing bitch. Why not get on your knees, you’re clearly good at it.”

She gawked at you and John and to physically stop himself from laughing.

“How dare you speak to her like that.” Anderson snapped.

“Oh shut up, I bet your wife will love you even more when she finds out you’ve got a whore kneeling down for you every other night. Maybe I should call her, shouldn’t be hard to get her number right?”

“You shut your mouth.” He warned.

You smirked, leaning forward a little and John watched the scene play out.

“Or what? Gonna hit a teenager? Not very police officer of you is it?”

“(Y/N) enough.”

You stopped and looked up at the man who had just come out of his office.

He glared at the two officer who were previously making fun of you.

“You two, my office now.”

“You can’t be serious, they started it!” Donovan scoffed.

“Now!”

Hearing their superior yell at them they quickly scurried into his office and he slammed the door shut, kneeling down in front of you he uncuffed you.

You rubbed your sore wrist and he stood up.

“What they get you for this time?”

“Wrong place wrong time, was literally just crossing the street man.”

“I’m sorry (Y/N), from now on those two idiots are to stay as far away from you as possible. Do you want any ice?”

You shook your head and looked up at him, you pointed behind him and he turned around to face John.

“Oh John, here for Sherlock?”

“Yeah, what’s he done now.” John sighed.

Lestrade gestured for John to follow him but before he left he turned around to look at you.

“Stay there.”

You rolled your eyes and slumped back against the wall, crossing your arms as you watched them walk away.

You waited for the moment they turned around the corner and gave it a few seconds before you stood io and slowly started to make your way out.

“Hey stop!” Someone yelled.

You pulled your hoodie off, throwing it in his face and bolted out of the building, rushing down the steps you quickly turned and sprinted down the street.

A few teenagers around your age were waiting and the moment they saw you, you all took off running as fast and as far away as you could.

“Damn arrested again? Seriously dude that’s like the fifth time this week.”

You stopped running and stopped to catch your breath, leaning back against a fence.

“Don’t even man, I don’t know why they grabbed me Ty, like I didn’t do anything.”

“Whatever let’s just go before they find us.”

You nodded to Jason and you all walked away.

Lestrade could’ve lied and said he was shocked you made a run for it but he really wasn’t, he just sighed and picked up your hoodie from a desk.

“We’ve got a case what are you doing?” Sherlock sighed.

“I’m dropping this off after I go to the crime scene relax. Let’s go already.”

Sherlock led the way, eager to get to his first case after being thrown in the cells for the night for breaking into a crime scene.

This crime scene was different, and it was in a totally different area, empty just a few officer keeping watch and crime scene techs.

“A dramatic change in location.” John mumbled.

“Not surprising, we were closing in. It’s to try and throw us off his trail, but there’s going to be some markers on the body and around it that’ll tell us exactly where this woman came from.”

Sherlock started to look around, and he noticed the food wrappers, sleeping bags and such and he stopped.

“People live here.” He noted.

Lestrade and John walked over, and Lestrade sighed, running a hand down his face.

“That would be (Y/N), Ty and Jason.”

“You know them?” John asked.

“Yeah, they couldn’t have done this, but they were supposed to be in a shelter. Ran away a few days ago.”

“Apparently not.”

Sherlock looked to the edge of the police tape and pointed, and when you saw the police officer you grinned a little.

“Hi?”

They three men walked over and you and your two friends got ready to make a run for it again.

“Ah, don’t even think about it.” Lestrade warned.

You all stopped and he ducked under the tape, standing in front of you with his arms crossed.

“Running away? Seriously? I thought you liked it there?”

“Yeah if you like people stealing your shit.” Jason scoffed.

“How long have you three been here?” Sherlock asked.

You looked at him, hands stuffed your your pockets.

“Since yesterday morning. I was nicked this morning and these two followed me to the station.”

“That means this happened in between 10am and 1pm.” John said.

“11am actually, I actually spent an hour running from those two morons.” You shrugged.

Sherlock smirked a little and nodded his head.

“By the way, that woman? She wasn’t kill here, can we have out stuff now?”

“No, sorry it’s evidence right now. But I’ve got your jacket hold on.”

Lestrade walked away and John looked at you.

“You saw her?”

“Well yeah it’s a huge open wear house man, not exactly hiding her. Some dude wanted her to be found.”

“What else do you see?” Sherlock asked.

He was curious, because this was stuff picked up on immediately as well, and since you lived here, you would know if anything was out of order.

You walked away with Sherlock, pointing at things and answering his questions.

“They’re smart.” John said.

“Yeah, good eye for detail, who do you think tags all the trains?” Jason snickered.

John smiled a little and didn’t say anything in return, he just watched you walk around with his best friend.

Lestrade came back holding your hoodie and watched you walking around with Sherlock.

“If you’re so smart why aren’t you a police officer?”

Sherlock looked down at you.

“They’re annoying.” He replied.

You smirked.

“Yeah, they are. So you like a privet investigator?”

“No. I’m a consultant for Scotland Yard, I consult on cases they can’t solve.”

“Apparently that’s none of them.” You snickered.

He smirked and nodded his head in agreement and went back to the investigation.

Since you couldn’t get your stuff back, Lestrade forced you and your two friends to go back to the shelter.

To make sure the three of you stayed there he even placed officer outside since you were effectively being grounded for the week.

“Here, for you.”

You looked at the woman and took the post she held out to you.

Sitting on the floor, you opened it and looked at the photos in confusion.

Photos of you and Sherlock at that crime scene, and you were circled in each and every single one of them.

“What the fuck…?”

You were creeped out, and you didn’t know what to do.

Did you go to Lestrade? He was basically your point of call for everything but he couldn’t even solve figure out where you were hiding from him.

So you decided to go back to the next best person who you knew could help you.

Running down the stairs, you hid the photos under your shirt and looked up at the officer who eyed you in suspicion.

“Do you know where that Sherlock and John live?”

“Yes. Why?”

“Am I allowed to go there?”

“You’re on house arrest.”

“But you’ll be there too, plus you’ll know where I am.”

The officer thought about this before shrugging, not seeming to actually care and gestured for you to get into his car.

He drove you there and told you what flat number you wanted so you knocked at the door and looked around before turning back to it.

“Oh hello love, here for Sherlock Holmes?” She smiled.

“Yes please Miss, is he home?”

“I believe so, come on up.”

“Thank you.” You beamed.

She led you up to the flat at the top of the stairs and she threw the door open.

“Sherlock you have a visitor!”

With that she gave you a smile and left, letting you wait at the entranceway to the flat.

Sherlock came around the corner and looked at you.

“You got it to.”

You nodded, pulling the photos out as you held them out to him.

Sherlock closed the door and pointed to the sofa, and you took a seat as he grabbed some more and dropped them onto the table, letting you look through them.

“What kind of sick bastard is this?” You asked.

“If I had to pick. I know exactly who it is.”

“Who?”

“Moriarty.”

You could tell by his face that he wasn’t going to be telling you anymore so you decided not to even bother to ask.

“Am I safe where I am?”

“No.”

You nodded your head and got up.

“I’ve got places to hide.”

You went to leave but it as John that stopped you from going, phone in his hand as he put it on speaker.

“You need to stay with someone until all this is over.”

“Lestrade?”

“Yes, John called me the moment you showed up at his door with the same photos Sherlock got.”

You looked at John and he nodded his head.

“But no matter where I go I won’t be safe, right? So I need to hide alone.”

“You’ll be safe here.” John said.

You looked at him again and he smiled softly.

“I mean we’ve got some space, just until this has all calmed down, alright?”

“It’s our best option.” Lestrade spoke up.

You didn’t argue, and that’s how you started living with Sherlock and John.

John had cleared out his room, getting the flat on the ground floor, so you weren’t near the main door, and someone would always be in the building with you.

Over time they got you more things, clothes, furniture and such and you had a full on room with them.

You and John played games and you read his blog while he wrote it, and you and Sherlock talked about cases and he taught you things he knew.

Months slipped by and Mrs Hudson let your friends live in the flat above you, and even though you were safe now you still stayed with Sherlock.

“Why do you still keep me around?” You asked.

Sherlock looked at you, you were hanging upside down from the sofa.

“Do you want to leave?”

“No…”

Sherlock stood up, walking over he put the papers down he was holding and you sat up properly.

You picked them up and he dropped a pen on the table as well.

“I don’t get it.”

Sherlock rolled his eyes.

“For someone so smart you’re also stupid. Read the papers (Y/N).”

“I did! Why are you giving me them?”

Sherlock poked your forehead.

“Why do you think idiot.”

You looked at him shocked, a huge smile spreading across your face.

“Seriously?”

“Why else would I give them to you?”

“To mock me?”

He shrugged.

“That thought did cross my mind, but if you’re living here I may as well adopt you.”

“I’d like that.”

You signed the papers and Sherlock took them back, saying he was going to return them and the moment he left the flat he smiled a little to himself.

You were his kid now, and he was happy he could say you were his kid, he was going to teach you everything he knew and take you on cases with him since you loved working with him

[theodosiani]

LET'S GET REACQUAINTED ! hey rpc ! lets be honest, datv brought us all back in one way or another either you're a veteran or new, i'm sure there is stuff that has changed or we don't know each other so let's have a game about it to reintroduce each other ! repost this to do the same & tag some pals if you want !

Name / Penname: Sawyer for veterans, did you go by something previously ? if so what was it if you're comfortable sharing that name &/or penname: Used to be known as Sarah, don't mind if folks know but Don't Call Me That. age & gender( if comfortable sharing ): Nonbinary, 29 what was your first dragon age muse: I will be so forreal I don't remember if Averill or Varania's blog came first but I thiiiink it was one of the two of them? do you have any other darp muses / blogs: I run @orxna and I used to write on @rattrunner and @birdfacedelf, and several other muses that I've since moved over to my multi here. what muses / blogs do you have outside of darp: None right now thedas has two moons: true | false - Two moon truther I don't care what any of the newer media says

single line, para, or novella: Honestly, I'm pretty open for anything. I am a person who may spit out a multi para at you out of nowhere and if we haven't agreed to a length beforehand do not feel pressured to match my legnth. I just can't shut up about my muses sometimes. plotting or winging it: I like to plot a lot, I think it's fun to talk about how our muses interact and I think it can give more depth and nuance to any future spontaneous interactions. That being said, I also like just stuff out of the blue it's fun and brings in variety. fighting threads, you bold enough for them?: Depends entirely on the muse but yeah, I do like them. I do like to have some idea of how they're mostly going to go, and I'm ALWAYS happy to have a muse lose if yours is understandably more powerful. I actually think it's quite fun to find creative ways to throw my muses at brick walls so to speak. The desperation builds character. what content warnings are on your blog?: There's a lot of body horror potential from Several muses, I've got blood mages and demons and eldritch abominations so it's not something I shy away from. I do also have some level of child abuse in several of my muses' histories along with themes of slavery and finding personhood after. what things do you need tagged for your comfort?: Just general epilepsy related tags. Flashing gifs, epilepsy warning, etc.

shipping preferences: single | multi | no ship | polyshipshipping boundaries: For the most part, as long as a person shows pretty basic respect of not autoshipping, and actually checking in with me? I'm real open for shipping. I love smashing our barbie dolls together, I like to be able to talk with folks about the ships so like communication is key and all that but I'm not particularly finicky, I guess? I also love all varieties of ships be they romantic or platonic. favorite ships in dragon age: I love HoF/Sten, any HoF I simply don't care it's just a good ship whether it's queer platonic or romantic, I am a VarricHawke truther. I did not like Solavellan when the game first came out but because of all the wonderful rpers in darp I'm pretty feral for it now lol. favorite ships from the rpc( tag your friends ships ! ): My fucking KINGDOM for Solas(@theharellan) and Ian(@theshirallen). I have shipped that shit for almost my entire time in Darp which is buckwild. I love Inara(@valorcorrupt) and Alistair, Merc has given me so much emotional damage over on Orxna about it.

fun facts about yourself that may have changed since in the past ten years( when inquisition dropped )--

This is so hard, lol. Well, I don't live in the south anymore and am, in fact, like an hour from canada now. I also work on a whole ass Farm now, it's pretty great.

be honest, did you miss darp. come on now--

Yeah, I really got my legs writing in darp I think it very much helped shape who I am as a writer. Definitely helped me fine tune what kinds of characters and tropes I enjoy and work on my collaboration with cowriters just as passionate about this series as I am.

challenge round ! put a small top five things unrelated to dragon age !

I have Too Many birds. Three geese, one gander, twenty-six hens, and one rooster.

I also have too many dogs. I have four Hungarian puli and two Scottish deerhound.

I'm working towards getting my vet etch certification in the next few years.

I currently work at a brick fire oven pizza place making pizza and I'm really good at stretching dough HOWEVER I cannot toss dough. I don't have the pizza rizz necessary but I make a really good sausage mushroom alfredo pizza.

Snow was put upon this earth to specifically inconvenience me every morning when I must do bird chores.

tagging: I am really bad at tagging because I have a horrible time keeping track of people who've already answered so just steal if you wanna

[littlestardude]

⏤͟͟͞͞☆Marjorine taking care of a high reader and Kenny! || Oneshot || Kenjorine x Reader (Kenny x Marjorine x Reader)

✰ - SFW - ✰

Plot: Marjie taking care of a toasted Reader and a toasted Kenny :3

Note: RAHHHHHHH I LOBE KENJORINEEEEEE‼️‼️‼️ i am SO normal about them :33 and POV from marjie, and sorry it's short wahhhg 😔😔 also here's the ask it came from!

TW:Drugs (weed)

Gender: Gen Neutral

Marhirie... Can u cowme over to my hosue pelalse bb :((( we miss youue , kennys heree.

Sent at 11:38 PM

Marjorine's screen lit up at the message, it was late and there was only two people who would think to text her at 11:38 PM. Her partners.

She sighed lightly and laughed at the misspelled message, she could tell that they were high.

I'll be there in 10 :3

Read

She packed her bag with some clothes because she was sure she'd end up staying, some water and snacks, and some medicine. And maybe some face masks too... Yes, face masks.

Right before she picked up her phone to put it in her pocket it buzzed and lit up again.

Can you brignsn mcdonals too pleasese ty ily I'll pay u back I prommy :((

Read

She rolled her eyes playfully and picked up her phone and wallet.

Knock knock

Marjorine shifted uncomfortably while holding the bags of hot food. She waited for a little bit and started daydreaming but snapped back to reality at the door opening

"Marjieeeeee, hi babyyyyy" Y/N said in a sing-songy voice and took the bags of food out of her hands and see them on the dining table.

They wrapped their arms around her neck and gave her plenty of kisses, they reeked of weed.

"Hey sweetie, do you feel okay? " Marj asked a bit worryingly.

"I'm fuckin.. Great, I'm sooo happy you're here honey... " They kissed her on her lips sloppily, tasting of weed.

Kenny stumbled out of the room, almost falling over and grabbed onto the wall, he looked over at the two of them and his eyes lit up.

"Marjiee!! Babyyyy, hiiii, " he stumbled on over and wrapped his own arms over her neck and gave her plenty of kisses as well.

"You look so prettyyyy honeyyyy... I love youu, " he hugged her tightly, and then hugged Y/N as well.

Marjorine hugged them back and slowly started walking them to the dinner table to sit down.

"Come on now, let's just sit down and eat something, okay? " she said as she started taking the food out of the bags.

Kenny and Y/N started giggling slightly and nodded their heads lazily. They both laid their heads down on the table and held hands.

Marjorine took the water out of her bag so they could get hydrated and had something to drink with their meal.

They thanked her and took their food and ate like the last time they ate was two Tuesdays ago. Marjorine was only halfway done when the other two we're done.

She'd say she was surprised but really wasn't considering the two of her partners could really throw down when they were high.

They waited while Marjorine finished her food, and then swiftly after, Kenny dragged the other two to Y/N's bedroom.

You would think his eagerness stemmed from horniness, but he really just wanted to lay down and cuddle with his partners.

They laid down comfortably with Marjorine in the middle, and the other two thanked her profusely for the McDonalds.

"We love you so much... You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone, Marjie... " Y/N said, slightly slurring their words and slowly coming down from their high.

"Yeah, you're so amazing Mar, we love you more than words could ever describe, " Kenny added on, kissing Marjorine on the cheek.

Marjorine was practically a melted puddle in the middle of the two, she nervously rubbed her knuckles together, "Oh jeez guys... Well, I love you two too... "

Kenny and Y/N followed with more kisses on her cheeks.

"Oh, I brought face masks by the way! " Marjorine said eagerly.

Kenny and Y/N grinned at her excitement, she really was an amazing girl.

[lavender-phannie]

I SEE PEOPLE sharing how they got into the dip and pip phandom and I want to participate

I was first and foremost a pinterest girlie. The typical oh my parents won't let me have any form of social media except pinterest oh oh no boy little did they know all the internet shenanigans ends up there it's objectively the best place to "culture" yourself or "acclimatise" for the internet or something

Like, really, it's all content from all the apps compiled for YOU according to the humour YOU like it's amazing

Anyways going off topic .. I have intense FOMO so I obviously started to educate myself on all things internet

One day whilst idly browsing pinterest I happened on pictures of dnp from a tumblr post I don't remember what the post itself was but probably something phan but I didn't know that at the time and I immediately went and checked who they were because I must know and google said they're two British youtubers people ship together and I said okay cool and just left it at that

A month or two later they happened onto my pinterest again and my brain said hey you've had a pretty well curated for you page all things we like so maybe check em out see how it goes probably something we like so I said ok bet and I did and I watched a video of them I think pinof 4 and I was like okay these guys are super random they're funny but I don't get half the things they reference

But then the youtube gods saw my destiny and said this is your fate child and starting recommending it to me all the time

So I gave in and I watched them and they were amazing, healing and wonderful and they really really helped me

Especially like BIG and dans monologue about gender and sexuality really resonated with me cause I didn't really think about this before but I realised I actually agreed with him that gender is baseless but that rant is for another time

And phil, loveliest dearest funniest phil, whenever I was having a hard time he'd been there cheering me up

If you can't tell I joined the phandom in the cursed covid years I was here for the 2022 phivorce which was objectively hilarious

I know this is incredibly long. Longer than necessary but I've typed it all now and words must not be gone to waste so here you are and here we are

Sending best wishes during these trying times (2 weeks since last upload) (they deserve the break) (I'm clawing at the walls of my enclosure)

Anon i am also going insane and clawing at my walls idk how i survived a 5 year hiatus and the insanity of phannies seeing dan's foot in a video and calling it "joint content" (also don't worry about stuff being long i love reading it!!)

Kinda relate with the pinterst thing except for me it was instagram and i followed dnp accounts that posted stuff from other social media i wasnt allowed to have at the time... people underestimate the importance of instagram and pinterest when it comes to getting people into new fandoms hahah (although i was introduced to dnp through friends but you know what i mean right??)

anyway same same about phil being there to cheer me up when im having a rough time... in 2017 i had a huge dip in my mental health and i literally just watched phil's videos every night to get to sleep lol! I wonder if he knows how infectious his positive energy is?

WHERE WAS I GOING WITH THIS RAMBLE!? anyway yeah throwing my jumble of thoughts at u anon sorry

[fictionobsession]

Jailbreak

Pairing: None

Word Count: 806 (is just little)

Warnings: none!

A/N: this is a between-game blurb for the multiplayer campaign I'm doing with @elfinbloodbag and @tripleyeeet so this is really for them - hope y'all like it <3

--

Pippin was mid-sneak, trying to take some potions out from under the nose of the injured tiefling, when Boone poked her head through the door of the prison.

“Hey, Pip, a moment please?” The whisper-yell wasn't quite enough to get the attention of the surrounding Grove inhabitants, of course, but Pippin cringed anyway. Pippin stepped back onto a squeaky board. Stupid old shack, what's wrong with dirt floors for godssake.

Luckily, the tiefling was too out of it to acknowledge such a tiny sound, and Pippin quickly made her way to the Druid's makeshift prison, making sure no one was watching as she slipped inside. Boone was standing in front of a cage, hands on hips, staring into the face of a goblin woman. Goblins have genders, right? Surely. Probably. Should probably learn some more about goblin culture. Do they have a culture? Everyone's got a culture I'm certain. Silly question.

“They've got 'er locked up.” Boone gestured to the goblin.

“What'd she do?”

Boone shrugged and looked up as Virru strolled casually into the room. “Best I can tell, she's just in here on account of being a goblin, and may have been with that crew we just...handled.”

“But, well, that's technically not a crime, is it? If she didn't hurt anybody?” Pippin asked, more thinking out loud than actually wanting an answer. She looked over at Boone, who let out a rather impressive yawn.

“She did say she'd get us into the goblin camp. Trouble-free. Jailbreak?”

Virru nodded. Pippin looked between them, already pulling out her lockpicking tools. “Never done a jailbreak before.”

Boone raised an eyebrow. Pippin's cheeks turned pink, suddenly very focused on the lock. “Well, never for someone other than myself anyway.” She rolled her shoulders and stuck her tongue between her teeth. The lock gave a final click, and the door swung open. The goblin, Sazza, she said her name was, sauntered out. Boone quickly pulled her weapon and aimed it at the escapee.

“I ain't gon do nothin'. Toldya I'd get ya in the camp, so I will. The Priestess will want to meet you. Put that down.”

Boone lowered her weapon – slightly. Virru leaned against the wall, watching. “So, not to be the voice of logic, but, now what?”

Pippin blinked at her, expression blank. Boone groaned, throwing her head back. “Nobody ever thinks things through.” She shot a glare at Pippin.

“Hey! I didn't do it this time! You said 'jailbreak' and I jail..broke? Anyway, I did what we all agreed on! I figured you had a plan!”

Boone grabbed the goblin by the elbow and started to lead her out of the prison area, only to be immediately stopped by the nearest tiefling. She turned Sazza around and went directly back into the room where Virru and Pippin were barely containing giggles.

When Virru was certain she could hold it together long enough to speak, she grinned up at Boone. “What exactly made you think that was going to work?”

“Was worth a try. Why go through all the effort of making an elaborate plan if you can just walk through the front door?”

“Well, we obviously can't walk through the front door, so what do we do? Pip, you have any ideas?”

Pippin shook her head and plopped to the floor. The others quickly joined her on the ground, regretting their lack of planning, and trying to figure out how exactly they were going to escape with the goblin.

They snacked on some food they had snagged from the Grove trader, not thinking or caring to share with their charge. Several suggestions were made and shot down for various reasons. The party's varying talents were quite useful most of the time, unless it came to things like sneaking or successfully lying. Boone was the worst at sneaking, and Pippin couldn't lie to save her life – literally.

virru narrowed her eyes at Sazza. “Does anyone have a scroll of disguise self?”

It was the first idea that had made any sense. The group all dug through their bags, coming up short on any scrolls or items that could help disguise the goblin.

They sat for what felt like ages, until Boone started pacing and Pippin started rooting through chests and crates looking for anything interesting. Pippin wandered around, finding a spot to jump down to a little area with bright orange mushrooms.

She noticed a glinting light just around the corner. “Hey guys? I think there's something back here.”

Virru was the first one to join her, with Boone following close behind. Virru squinted, trying to figure out what the shiny area was. “You know, that kind of looks like... a door? Why would there be a door back here?”

They shared a look, Boone striding forward to be the first through the door.