#🌵 Journal

[rexscanonwife]

✨

✨️ - how often do you draw?

I actually draw pretty often these days!! I try not to force it but it usually ends up being like...every other day or so. On good weeks it can go strong for a while, but I try not to stress if it doesn't.

And I actually used to need long periods of time between drawing sessions, but nowadays I don't really think about it so...this makes me very happy! 🥺🫶 thank you for asking!!

[parasocialbesties]

Hi :D

What does “time well spent” mean to you?

Thank you to everyone who takes time to answer these :) It’s really fun reading through all of your answers 🧡

- 🌵

Time well spent is time where I am enjoying the moment I'm currently in. This can be as extra as going on a trip with family and friends or as small as spending an afternoon with the person I love :) I just enjoy being with people I love in general.

[rebelwithoutabroom]

I‘m currently doing a 30 day journaling prompt challenge. I thought it would be fun to share some of them with everyone in the next few weeks so we can get to know each other :)

Day 1:

If you could have a sleepover with anyone (famous or not) and talk the whole night - who would you choose?

Feel free to send this to others as well and have a fantastic day! 🌵

Hiii! This is so cool, ty for sharing the prompt :DD

I'm gonna be real with you anon, my first thought went to my best friend who moved away a couple years ago ;---; she comes visit from time to time but its been almost 6 months since I last saw her so I would LOVE to have a slumber party and talk all night like we used to when we were teenagers hehehe

[lucky-stick]

OLD INTRO (slightly outdated)

𖦹🌿boof🌿𖦹

⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢

🐾⎨Name: mist 🌫️

🌿⎨Pronouns: she/he/it (any dog themed xenos)

☘️⎨Gender: unlabelled 💚🤍🧡🩵

🍃⎨ Sexuality: asexual 💜🤍🩶🖤

🪴⎨Age: 16

🌵 ⎨kins: golden retriever, bull shark, leaf sheep, moss ball (plantkin), wolf (otherlink)

⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣

⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢

Random

🪵⎨Likes: cat/dog toys, sticks, walks, coffee, sleeping, woods, plants, weed, wife, food, cats, Buddhism and Taoism, yin yang, swimming,

🌵⎨dislikes: loud noises, school/work, fireworks, government and politicians,

🦈⎨other blog: @seafoamcloud (bull shark blog)

Please read ^^^^^^^

⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣

What will be on this blog:

Therian stuff and experiences, sometimes rants, walk pictures, journal pages and stim boards and moodboards (open rn)

Blinkiess n stuff:

[scene-pup]

100 AgeRe Questions

Credit: pickledratinajar

1🐝 What Age(s) Do You Regress To ~

2🍯 Do You Pet Regress As Well / What Animal ~

3🥮 How Long Have You Been Regressing ~

4🐌 Is Your Regression Voluntary, Involuntary, Or A Mixture ~

5🐻 What's Your Personality Like When Regressed ~

6🐴 How Often Do You Regress ~

7☕ What Helps You Get Into Headspace ~

8📜 Are You A Baby, Toddler, Or Big Kid Regressor ~

9🦇 Do Your Likes Change When Regressed ~

10⏳ Do You Have A Baby Voice In Headspace ~

11🍪 What Makes You Instantly Small ~

12🧋Why Do You Regress ~

13🌙 Pink Or Blue ~

14⭐ Dragons, Unicorns Or Fairies ~

15☁️ Dinos, Princesses, Space Or Safari Theme ~

16💫 Neon, Pastel, Neutral Or Dark Pallets ~

17🐮 Favorite Regression Clothes ~

18🌸 Favorite Color ~

19🐭 Do You Collect Stickers ~

20🧁 Coloring Book Or Paint By Numbers ~

21🍧 Playdoh, Legos Or Slime ~

22🦄 Finger Paint Or Brushes ~

23🧼 Crayons, Colored Pencils Or Markers ~

24☀️ Do You Have A CG / Name For CG ~

25🌻 Do You Have A Baby Sitter ~

26✨ Do You Have Any Sibbies ~

27🧺 Do Your Parents Know About Your Regression ~

28🧋 Favorite Nicknames / Pet Names ~

29🍕 Ideal Playdate ~

30🐱 Sleep In Crib Or With CG ~

31🍼 Favorite Snack ~

32🧸 Favorite Juice ~

33🍪 Favorite Icecream Flavor ~

34🩹 Favorite Type Of Milk ~

35🐶 Sweet, Sour, Spicy, Bitter Or Savory ~

36🍰 Favorite Dessert ~

37🍦 Favorite Type Of Chocolate ~

38⏳ Mac & Cheese Or Nuggets ~

39🎒 Favorite Movie ~

40🍬 Favorite Cartoon ~

41🚀 Favorite Game ~

42🎀 Favorite Disney Princess ~

43⚾ If You Could Have Any 1 Superpower What Would It Be ~

44🍄 Anime Or Cartoons ~

45🍓 Favorite Carebear ~

46✏️ Shows Or Movies ~

47🐛 Do You Believe In Fairies ~

48🐸 Do You Have A Comfort Character ~

49🌱 Do You Like Rain At Night ~

50🦕 Are You Easily Scared ~

51🧃 Are You Also A Carer ~

52🌵 Are You Independent Or Dependent ~

53🍃 What Pulls You Out Of Headspace ~

54🍏 Are You Scared Of Bugs ~

55🦝 Favorite Toy Series ~

56🚛 Do You Use Pacis ~

57🦴 Do You Use Diaps ~

58🦈 Gear Wishlist ~

59🍵 Favorite Regression Item ~

60🐾 Sippy Cup Or Bottle ~

61🦊 Oldest Stuffie ~

62🎃 Do You Sleep With A Stuffie ~

63🔥 How Many Stuffies Do You Have ~

64🍂 Newest Favorite Stuffie ~

65🏵️ Build A Bear, Amusement Park, Or Disney Store ~

66🥧 Stuffed Animals Or Dolls ~

67👽 Do You Have A Bedtime ~ 

68🍭 Do You Keep An AgeRe Journal ~

69⚡️ Do You Have Rules ~

70🍥 Blankie Or Paci ~

71🌈 Night Light Or Glow-In-The-Dark Stars ~

72🌿 Bedtime Stories Or Lullabies ~

73🎩 Favorite Thing To Do Outside While Small ~

74🐵 Favorite Thing To Do Inside While Small ~

75🦋 Blanket Fort Or Bouncy House ~

76🐯 Stroller Or Walk ~

77🔮 Dress Up Or Tea Party ~

78🦜 Do You Like The Playground ~

79💖 Early Bird Or Night Owl ~

80📝 Indoors Or Outdoors ~

81💕 Warm Or Cold Weather ~

82🦢 Dogs Or Cats ~

83☎️ Do You Have Any Pets ~

84💌 Favorite Animal ~

85🍒 Favorite Holiday ~

86🐇 Favorite Season ~

87❤️ What’s Your Big Age ~

88🌼 What’s A Nostalgic Place For You ~

89🐳 Playdoh, Legos Or Slime ~

90🐙 Do You Collect Anything ~

91🐠 Bubble Baths Or Bath Toys ~

92🍑 Are Your Agere Interests More Fem Or Masc ~

93☔️ Do You Stim More While Regressed ~

94🎨 Favorite Place To Regress ~

95🧵 Favorite Regression Youtuber ~

96🌈 Favorite Site/App For Regression Community ~

97💐 What Do You Wanna Be When You Grow Up ~

98📒 What’s The Most Nostalgic Electronic For You ~

99📀 A Toy You Always Wanted But Never Got As A Kid ~

100🪐 What Is Your Favorite Thing To Learn About In Headspace ~

ASK ME! :D <3

[benjaminagunn]

recent journal pages 🌵🌸🐟

[mayakern]

are you really gonna scroll past without saying howdy? 🌵

these skirts are: 🌙 size inclusive (XS-8X) 🌙 ethically made 🌙 fitted with pockets deep enough to hold all of your provisions while you're out on the trail

you can find this skirt and other designs in my store now!

[moondvncer]

pov: you're journaling about how depressed you've been this year but at least your pen is super pretty 🌵🌸

[libbee]

Scorpio rising/sun/moon: "I am my own worst enemy"

It appears to me that scorpions dont just love/hate to the extreme but also feel every other impulse to the extreme. Whether it is power issues, anger issues, superiority/inferiority complex or else. They feel everything to 100% and beyond.

Similar to this, mars ruled Aries is the hallmark of feeling position. The difference lies in aries pursuing worldly goals while scorpio pursuing spiritual goals. This is my theory from what I have seen these placements playing out.

Clearly, this is very self destructive way to live life. I have seen scorpion taking things to heart and hold grudge for long times. I suggest doing self development and some physical output to release that energy like gym and sports. Also, journal your moods and see when the emotion spikes, which emotion spikes the most, see your pattern, know yourself better. The more you know yourself, the lesser self sabotage you will do.

🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵

[the-alarm-system]

Hii!! Not sure if you remember us, but we are the people who tagged you in the pro endo/endo safe blog list! Currently we are doing a rentry instead, as Tumblr has a limit of the mentions so— quick question! ,, because the rentry is being organized by topics (userboxes, x culture-is, syscourse , miscellaneous etc) , we were wondering on what category would you put your blog in?? /Genq , nbr!

- 🌵

I believe miscellaneous is good! This blog is a journal blog for us but we do tend to stray into political discourse like anti psych. I do talk about syscourse but it’s not that important to me because I feel like having a MAD studies political focus is more productive yknow? In the end though not everything we say is political methink :) our focus is pretty scattered so misc is bests for us

[littlebunny-xoxo]

100 AgeRe Questions

Credit: pickledratinajar

1🐝 What Age(s) Do You Regress To ~

2🍯 Do You Pet Regress As Well / What Animal ~

3🥮 How Long Have You Been Regressing ~

4🐌 Is Your Regression Voluntary, Involuntary, Or A Mixture ~

5🐻 What's Your Personality Like When Regressed ~

6🐴 How Often Do You Regress ~

7☕ What Helps You Get Into Headspace ~

8📜 Are You A Baby, Toddler, Or Big Kid Regressor ~

9🦇 Do Your Likes Change When Regressed ~

10⏳ Do You Have A Baby Voice In Headspace ~

11🍪 What Makes You Instantly Small ~

12🧋Why Do You Regress ~

13🌙 Pink Or Blue ~

14⭐ Dragons, Unicorns Or Fairies ~

15☁️ Dinos, Princesses, Space Or Safari Theme ~

16💫 Neon, Pastel, Neutral Or Dark Pallets ~

17🐮 Favorite Regression Clothes ~

18🌸 Favorite Color ~

19🐭 Do You Collect Stickers ~

20🧁 Coloring Book Or Paint By Numbers ~

21🍧 Playdoh, Legos Or Slime ~

22🦄 Finger Paint Or Brushes ~

23🧼 Crayons, Colored Pencils Or Markers ~

24☀️ Do You Have A CG / Name For CG ~

25🌻 Do You Have A Baby Sitter ~

26✨ Do You Have Any Sibbies ~

27🧺 Do Your Parents Know About Your Regression ~

28🧋 Favorite Nicknames / Pet Names ~

29🍕 Ideal Playdate ~

30🐱 Sleep In Crib Or With CG ~

31🍼 Favorite Snack ~

32🧸 Favorite Juice ~

33🍪 Favorite Icecream Flavor ~

34🩹 Favorite Type Of Milk ~

35🐶 Sweet, Sour, Spicy, Bitter Or Savory ~

36🍰 Favorite Dessert ~

37🍦 Favorite Type Of Chocolate ~

38⏳ Mac & Cheese Or Nuggets ~

39🎒 Favorite Movie ~

40🍬 Favorite Cartoon ~

41🚀 Favorite Game ~

42🎀 Favorite Disney Princess ~

43⚾ If You Could Have Any 1 Superpower What Would It Be ~

44🍄 Anime Or Cartoons ~

45🍓 Favorite Carebear ~

46✏️ Shows Or Movies ~

47🐛 Do You Believe In Fairies ~

48🐸 Do You Have A Comfort Character ~

49🌱 Do You Like Rain At Night ~

50🦕 Are You Easily Scared ~

51🧃 Are You Also A Carer ~

52🌵 Are You Independent Or Dependent ~

53🍃 What Pulls You Out Of Headspace ~

54🍏 Are You Scared Of Bugs ~

55🦝 Favorite Toy Series ~

56🚛 Do You Use Pacis ~

57🦴 Do You Use Diaps ~

58🦈 Gear Wishlist ~

59🍵 Favorite Regression Item ~

60🐾 Sippy Cup Or Bottle ~

61🦊 Oldest Stuffie ~

62🎃 Do You Sleep With A Stuffie ~

63🔥 How Many Stuffies Do You Have ~

64🍂 Newest Favorite Stuffie ~

65🏵️ Build A Bear, Amusement Park, Or Disney Store ~

66🥧 Stuffed Animals Or Dolls ~

67👽 Do You Have A Bedtime ~ 

68🍭 Do You Keep An AgeRe Journal ~

69⚡️ Do You Have Rules ~

70🍥 Blankie Or Paci ~

71🌈 Night Light Or Glow-In-The-Dark Stars ~

72🌿 Bedtime Stories Or Lullabies ~

73🎩 Favorite Thing To Do Outside While Small ~

74🐵 Favorite Thing To Do Inside While Small ~

75🦋 Blanket Fort Or Bouncy House ~

76🐯 Stroller Or Walk ~

77🔮 Dress Up Or Tea Party ~

78🦜 Do You Like The Playground ~

79💖 Early Bird Or Night Owl ~

80📝 Indoors Or Outdoors ~

81💕 Warm Or Cold Weather ~

82🦢 Dogs Or Cats ~

83☎️ Do You Have Any Pets ~

84💌 Favorite Animal ~

85🍒 Favorite Holiday ~

86🐇 Favorite Season ~

87❤️ What’s Your Big Age ~

88🌼 What’s A Nostalgic Place For You ~

89🐳 Playdoh, Legos Or Slime ~

90🐙 Do You Collect Anything ~

91🐠 Bubble Baths Or Bath Toys ~

92🍑 Are Your Agere Interests More Fem Or Masc ~

93☔️ Do You Stim More While Regressed ~

94🎨 Favorite Place To Regress ~

95🧵 Favorite Regression Youtuber ~

96🌈 Favorite Site/App For Regression Community ~

97💐 What Do You Wanna Be When You Grow Up ~

98📒 What’s The Most Nostalgic Electronic For You ~

99📀 A Toy You Always Wanted But Never Got As A Kid ~

100🪐 What Is Your Favorite Thing To Learn About In Headspace ~

ASK ME! :D <3

[parasocialbesties]

Hello :D

What book or movie has most impacted your life?

Have a good Monday 🧡

- 🌵

Ooooh this is a hard one. I always struggle with recency bias with questions like these. I feel like I have yet to find a novel or movie that has impacted me in a way that is lasting sadly. I have to continue my journey to find one! Any suggestions?

[jasperthehatchet]

🌟🌿welcome🌿🌟

🦎 My name is Hatchet! I'm an adult human who uses any/all pronouns

🌞 I'm passionate about disability rights, inclusivity, queer trans nonbinary and intersex rights, indigenous rights, environmentalism, prison abolition and restorative justice and all those wonderful things. As well as fighting against/completely dismantling racism, antisemitism (especially leftist antisemitism), dehumanization, police brutality, fascism, capitalism, colonialism, queerphobia, intersexism and oppression/bigotry of all kinds

*** Tags with resources and donation links include: #palestine, #sudan, #armenia, #congo ***

🌵 Hobbies: sewing, mending, upcycling, painting, embroidery, bookbinding, dream-journaling, thrifting, cooking, jewelry making, basket weaving, and various other punk crafts as well <3 basically I was put on this earth to Make Stuff. I'm also a collector of shinies and trinkets like dice, coins, shells, rocks, crystals, rings, keys, thimbles, bells, etc. Any shiny trinket you can think of I probably collect it (recent collections include soda tabs and occlupanids aka those plastic bread clips)

Hobbies I'm looking into starting: paper making, paint/ink making, stone/wood carving, leather working, chainmail, terrarium building, gardening and lino printing/stamp making :)

🌻 I am very active on Pinterest for art inspiration, if you'd like you can follow me here (or search @juno_monsoon)

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

• IMPORTANT THINGS TO NOTE •

1. I block empty blogs

2. Minors: I have no authority over you but please beware. This is not really an NSFW blog but I do reblog stuff about sex/kink positivity as well as pro-sex work things

3. You can dm me or send me asks whenever, i encourage you to reach out if you want to talk about hobbies, politics (in good faith), crafting, art, music, fandoms, or whatever! Just don't be a jackass

4. I don't respond to being tagged in chain posts or tagging games. I also really hate reblog bait and guilt-trippy posts I do not care what they're about

5. DO NOT repost ANY of my art or creations please and thank you

6. I tag critical role spoilers with #critical role, #critical role spoilers, #cr spoilers and #critrole spoilers

7. Spam liking/reblogging is perfectly fine I don't mind it at all. Go nuts

8. Things I've made/mended are tagged with #hatchet mends things and #hatchet makes stuff

[lucky-stick]

Yip :3 (welcome to my den)

old intro now used for second acc

DNI:❌

Basic dni (homophobes racists ect) , anti pet/age regression , anti therian/alterhuman , nsfw pages , any politics page (don’t send me things about Palestine and Isreal war ect) , don’t flirt with me it makes me and my fiancé uncomfortable

idk what else just don’t be an asshole I block freely ^^’

╭ 🌵･:*˖ ˋˏ ༻🏜️༺ ˎˊ ˖*:･🐕

┆name: lucky🍀/fossil🦴

┆pronouns: she/he/they/it/(canine themed xenos)

┆kintypes <- main kintypes <- aquatic edition

◟ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚🪨♡‧₊˚

My requests are open but can be slow cus of school <3 here

tags:

#🐕 yote journal

#🦮 fact sheets

#🦴 stimboards

#🐾 moodboards

#🎾 irl dogboi

#🥏 exercise

#🦇 the wife

Random:

LIKES: ‧₊˚🪨✩ ₊˚🪵⊹♡

Walkies :D , dog/cat toys(crinkly and chewy ones) , sunbathing , digging holes (especially in sand) , swimming(ocean or river not pool) , scented candles and incense , soft blankets , loyalty , meeting new people/creechers , running around in long grass , smell of fresh baking , cosy spots , new places , clear nights(for stars :0) , herbal tea , helping others , smell of fresh cut herbs , salmon , seaweed , scuba diving , rock pool , climbing in trees , sunflowers , pet rocks , ball pits , helping hurt animals , warm baths , cold showers , cloud watching , hip flask , Lo-fi , peace , hope , optimism .

DISLIKES: 🍂⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍂༄

Thunder , fireworks , isolation , tight clothes , hash chemicals , pollution , strong perfume , strong wind , crossing roads , loud machinery , tight schedules , school , politicians , unnecessary conflict , close minded people , chaos , evil , greed , pessimism .

[littlest-bugz]

Resolution ; A Sigh Of Relief

a [polyfrag] DID system's experience with resolution (functional multiplicity)

please do not bring syscourse to this post. this post is about our own personal healing journey and is not intended as advice or professional info

TWs: Isolation [heavy], abuse [heavy but not in depth], self harm mention [brief], suicidality mention [brief], unsure of other triggers

In Mid June of 2022, I was diagnosed with DID for the first of two times. Flashback to 2021. I had been in and out of therapy, in my teen years, but after researching my symptoms to try and find a proper care plan for my mental health, I ended up self diagnosing myself with BPD. The view I have always had on therapy and self diagnosis is that it doesn't take a real diagnosis to get the help you need, just use the resources that help you regardless, so I wasn't really hesitant to self diagnose myself [after research obvs]. After i self dx, I decided I would find a trauma informed DBT therapist, since I saw DBT mentioned often as treatment for people with BPD. After a while of researching, I found exactly that in my first therapist as a young adult. She was an amazing mental health professional tbh. She taught me skills that still have use today, and helped me grow, so so much. However, a year into therapy, she asked me to consider the possibility of having DID, and she asked me to reach out to my [potential] alters just to see what would happen. Ofc, I did exactly that. I made a dinky little journal for anyone to write in, as long as they used a sign off or different colored pen. That was when the flood gates opened, alters expressing themselves in the journal, and system awareness was achieved for the second time in our system's history.

Yes, you heard me, for the second time.

The first time system discovery starts for us actually starts sometime in October of 2016 [when I was 12-13]. It was the peak of my abuse, and because of that, I attempted to create an imaginary friend to have someone who knew me, just,,, period tbh. I wanted someone to know me down to my own memories because I was afraid of being alone, and I was tired of having my trauma further ignored and disregarded, even encouraged, by the adults in my life.

I was a deeply, deeply isolated kid, and had no one in my life i could trust or depend on until I was into my late teen years. I didn't have any real friends [and was, instead, abused by my peers], didn't have a family that actively cared about me, the church i was going to had and was abusing me profoundly, and the partner I had treated me like less than human. It was abuse coming from all angles, all facets, of my life. I could not escape the abuse no matter where I turned, so I turned inwards. I wanted someone, anyone who could understand me and listen, especially someone who knew what was happening to me for a fact and wouldn't gaslight every experience I had.

That's when I ''created'' 💙, but mind you, I didn't actually create him. He was, actually, his own whole dude before I ''created'' him, and he was NOT someone who would comfort me gently like I had wanted him to be. He was, instead, a sarcastic, blunt guy who only comforted me when things got actively tough. At that time, he had even fronted more than once to prevent stupid decisions I did, and it actually marked the first period of concerning black out amnesia. HOWEVER, through ''creating'' 💙, I got in contact with more of our system members [specifically 🎸,🧣,🌵 and 💤, who all are active members to this day, still fronting from time to time]. Our communication flourished back then, and everything was well documented, down to journal entries I had written about 💙's ''creation''. We had drawings and journals, which were all thrown away or deleted in 2019.

Speaking of, our communication with the system fell apart in 2019, shortly after the body's birthday [which is usually very traumatic for our system]. It was a complete host change brought on by the CEO of our system that ruined communication. It left that new host, 🐛. Confused, and without any memory of our life before then, 🐛 forgot everything about the system. Literally down to the name of 💙. All communication was cut, and all prior knowledge of our system was disposed of because our journals and drawings were thrown out by an alter who was heavily influenced by the CEO. CEO did not want us to know we were a system, and he had been dormant for years at that point. At least until he [somehow] got triggered and saw what was going on. 🐛 was the alter that later got in contact with everyone in 2021 and got us diagnosed the first time. Thankfully, the supposed creation of 💙 was what made communication pick up again smoothly, and we were, once again, a tightknit group of alters sharing a body. We're still like that, for the most part.

Our upbringing heavily impacted how we go about our recovery process, and how we will continue to recover. So when we entered therapy with a DID specialist, we had already radically accepted our systemhood after being diagnosed once. We have a very much 'your opinion of me doesn't matter to me' type of thinking, at least in regards to anyone other than a medical professional. Ofc, DID specialist was like 'yeah, I can tell lol' and diagnosed me shortly thereafter. After being diagnosed with DID a second time by the specialist, we were asked what path in recovery we wanted, and to think and talk about amongst ourselves. The big question every recovering system faces. Did we want to pursue final fusion or not?

Overwhelmingly for our system, we wanted to aim for resolution [aka functional multiplicity]. HOWEVER, there is nothing wrong with final fusion. A lot of people actually fear monger about it amongst the CDD community. So let me say that again: Final Fusion is NOT a bad thing and is a valid way to recover. Just because it is not our path doesn't mean it isn't someone else's. Here are two posts that give some decent info on Final Fusion: [post one] [post two]. I can find more if need be, but that isn't what this post is about. This is simply to reaffirm that final fusion is nothing to be scared of, and a 110% valid path of recovery. Our experience doesn't align with final fusion, but since I mentioned it briefly, I thought I would talk about it for a second.

Fusion moment aside, We have, since mid 2022 for sure, felt like we don't have a solid host, and we have always felt that way because of the cycle of hosts. The body holds a good number of us, that's for sure, and because of how many of us there are, we have no solid one host. There are frequent fronters, sure, but nobody is a host in the traditional, typically talked about sense. For this reason, we feel that we have no core alter [which we don't, unsurprisingly], and we found it unfair to each other that we take away our freedom to express ourselves as alters. Like yeah, we are parts of a whole, but there was never a 'core' individual. There was never an 'original'. We were pretty much destined to form DID. It is what it is, but because of that, we feel we don't have an alter from which all the others split from. I'm just a collective of parts that never even had the chance to connect to each other. Most of us feel so individual from each other because we were a highly partitionary system with no memory sharing or knowledge of each other. I honestly think if what happened in 2016 didn't happen, I would've only known my system through the 2021 diagnosis, and it would not have been as easy to pick communication back up. Things are wildly different now in regards to amnesiac barriers, but when we did find each other, we were our own people expressing ourselves through different [covert] means.

Due to feeling so separated and individualistic, Resolution was, ultimately, the best decision for our system, and since having made this decision and began recovery, our life has actually become something worth living, if that makes sense. I mean Internally and mentally. We function together as a team, and it's a great thing to witness tbh. It's taken a lot of hard work with a lot of disagreements in system, but for a life time ahead of me, it's worth it. I'm finally starting to love all of me, all of us. It's been hard, so incredibly hard, and we still don't always get along. There are still disagreements, votes that spark heated discussions, but that's just what happens when you're sharing a body with so many folks.

Of course, u see me use I/Me pronouns because we all acknowledge the body and the role it has in our collective life. When I say I, when I say me, it is the acknowledgement of the body's role in our life. The Body is the part of us that makes us whole, what we live through, and what makes us a team and family [in-sys family members at least because as a whole we don't see each other as family]. We are so incredibly grateful for the body and the collective Identity we live through. It is a sigh of relief to finally have come this far into our healing where things are finally getting better for us. I'm healing all parts of me, and I am authentically myself by being a system. We love the life we live finally. Even if we're still living with abusers, we know that once we're out of here, it's the final step to our trauma recovery and what will make us free to be ourselves.

Trauma is bound to happen again in my lifetime, re-traumatization will happen too. I'm young [for an adult at least], and, like I mentioned briefly, I'm still in an abusive situation. For this reason, we are learning to cope with day to day stress, as well as preparing our coping tool box for future traumas. At this stage in our healing, we have attained near entire co-consciousness, and have learned to share daily and important memories or notes from alter to alter, subsystem to subsystem. Sometimes its just one fronter and the CEO or the whole Crew and Co., yet CEO makes sure things get to everyone. No longer do we live our day to day confused on what's happened, what our past is and who we are, if we've eaten, taken our meds, showered, if we have an appointment ect. Now when switches happen, things are not confusing, and smooth with no sort of amnesiac barrier. Afterall, a good 97% of us are co-con in some capacity, and even then, we're able to memory share day to day memories. It's like whoever is best equipped to deal with a situation fronts.

Some of us don't want to share our trauma memories with each other entirely due to it's intensity, so we instead talk about it amongst ourselves and make peace with our trauma that way [with the help of our therapist]. It's like group therapy lol. Most of us are just content with the knowledge of not fully knowing everything, and having worked in trauma recovery for years now, our past traumas affects our day to day a lot less [any disruptions now are from the collective disorders we have and our living situation]. The peace that comes from being okay with not knowing is relieving, and the alters who hold the bulk of the trauma have started to work through their traumas.

Sharing trauma memories in our system can cause body and other kinds of flashbacks, panic and extreme distress, and can even trigger self harm and suicidality in some of our alters. Almost always, with trauma memories, its more than one alter getting triggered. I like to think of it like sculk sensors from Minecraft [minecraft moment]. When one is triggered, nearby alters in front and co-con get triggered like a wave effect, but it has a lot to due with similar types of traumas or being fragments of the same trauma. It doesn't stop it from happening. What we've done is worked on helping trauma holders cope and making them 'unstuck' in the trauma. Memory Sharing with trauma was once, and still is to an extent, dangerous for us, but the memory sharing via talking with each other, rather than give up the memories themselves, has caused us to even out and begin to work through the actual trauma, work through everything we have been through. It may sound flawed, but it works for us.

After having achieved a grasp on resolution, we've taken notice to our collective disorders and experiences, like our psychosis symptoms [from an unknown origin] and OCD. A lot of what we thought were persecutors ended up being our OCD, so things got quieter in that way. This helped us to work on those mental health problems and cultivate a further sense of peace. We also were able to start to work on other therapy methods that cater to our flavor of personality disorder. Achieving Resolution to even the degree we have has been phenomenal, and it only gets better from here once we reach full resolution.

None of this is to say resolution will or should be your path in healing, so please take what I say with a grain of salt. This is our experience with our healing journey, and nothing is the same from CDD system to CDD system. I just wanted to post and ramble about my progress because I am proud of myself and our progress!!! Obviously, I am not a representative for anyone other than myself. It's just so nice to be able to actually see my progress, see our progress. I also feel like I don't see many people talk about late stage DID recovery in any way, resolution or final fusion. Honestly, its even nice to just label our progress as being in late stage recovery. I'm glad to be me, as a system, while also dancing my way down the path of healing [lol].

Not sure if anyone is curious, but I'm always open to answering questions about my experiences with resolution as a polyfrag DID system. nothing intrusive about trauma, but I'm down to talk about the aspects of resolution and stuff. Just know I'm not a psychiatrist or other professional, and I don't speak for any other system but my own.

[talokanda-forever]

It's been a while! 🌵🍐

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