#「 LIFESTREAM ; HEADCANONS 」

[dying-moonlight]

hojo: *smiling creepily* bad and naughty SOLDIERs get put in the mako bath to atone for their crimes! cloud and zack: *screaming* sephiroth: *is used to it*

[duos-alatum]

What does it mean, to be in the life stream?

It is difficult to explain. The Lifestream is… well, it’s what gives life to everything on the Planet. When you die your soul dissolves into the Lifestream. What comes from the Lifestream returns to the Lifestream, after all.

However, due to the amount of Jenova cells in my body, I cannot be reabsorbed into the Lifestream anymore. Before, I kept existing because my intense hatred allowed me to keep my mind.

[ancientblxde]

Ooc: -casually slides in for a very brief update-

Masa is getting his origin story in ever crisis and man, I'm a happy camper! Granted I haven't read the entire thing yet but phew boy, if I ever did RP on here again, he'll need a major overhaul lol

[theghostavocadoe]

Hello Gamers. I'm here to learn you a thing. I often see a lot of fanfictions, headcanons, or art of the Remnants of Sephiroth that tend to make it so Kadaj treats Loz harshly, like a bully who just thinks he's dumb, dead weight.

If that's your personal headcanon, that is totally fine and you can ignore this. However! If you want to try and follow their canon personalities, I'd like to show you that Kadaj does care. And it's all shown within THIS cutscene.

Before I dig into this, you should familiarize yourself with how Kadaj talks. His tone changes depending on who he's speaking to. Let me pull some dialogue from the movie as examples.

"Why does humankind even bother? You wreck everything you’ve ever made then you start over like it’ll be any different the next time." -Kadaj to Rufus

"Don’t tell me you’re leading me on? Because I think you do have Mother there. No need to shout!" -Kadaj to (presumably) Reno

"Geostigma and a legacy aren’t enough. Not for a true Reunion." -Kadaj to Rufus

When he talks to someone that he doesn't like, he tends to be very cruel and jeering. However, his vocabulary is the important part; he talks just like your average adult, using words in his speech to Rufus such as "memetic" to describe Jenova's influence.

Meanwhile, let me pull some dialogue from this scene with Loz:

Kadaj: "Look at what Brother was hiding. Powers forged in the Lifestream. With this materia, those powers will be ours."

Loz: "So – those are a gift from Mother?"

Kadaj: "Yeah, gotta be."

Loz: "Then Brother’s hiding Mother too?"

Kadaj: "No, it’s that Shinra guy. Keeping her hidden is something they’ve always been very good at."

Loz: "Then all we gotta do is check everywhere that’s got anything to do with Shinra."

Look really closely at how Kadaj phrases things. He's simple. He uses slang. He answers all of Loz's questions patiently. He says "that Shinra guy" instead of "Rufus" or "Mr. President." He says "very good" instead of something like... "excellent" or "skilled."

But he doesn't do this to jeer, though. He's not insulting Loz's intelligence. Rather, it's that acknowledges that Loz isn't very bright and needs things to be simpler to understand. And it's clear that this method works, because when Loz says to check everywhere that's Shinra related, Kadaj agrees with him, and even says they'll get help with that soon!

This scene means a lot to me and how Kadaj treats his brothers. He truly does love them and care for them. So keep this in mind if you ever want to write something about their bond.

Thank you for listening to me ramble!!

[altocat]

do you perhaps have any truly diabolical angst sephgen headcanons? ones that would send a victorian child into a coma

*cracks knuckles*

Young Genesis wanting to become just like his "hero" Sephiroth when he grows up, only to decide he's going to become his own hero to replace him because they have a miscommunication and Genesis thinks Sephiroth will never accept him.

Sephiroth, having always adored Genesis, unable to tell him how he truly feels because he's worried about the consequences. He WANTS Genesis to surpass him. WANTS him to be Shinra's hero. Shinra keeps forcing them to compete with each other, making it worse.

To the point where one day they are forced to actually physically fight each other in order to settle up a petty bet between Hojo and Heidegger. Genesis tries not to cry as Sephiroth reluctantly pins him to the ground. He can't meet Sephiroth's eye afterwards.

Training Room Incident happens just a few weeks after that.

Sephiroth waiting outside Gen's door at the hospital for hours after the blood transfusion, only for Hollander to get annoyed and drive Sephiroth off even after Genesis asks for him.

Sephiroth thinking that for all his fame and glory, he's not GOOD enough for Genesis because of their different upbringings.

Sephiroth and Genesis being still very much in love with each other, but forced to maintain appearances because they're convinced that the other person doesn't actually love them anymore.

Genesis degrading more and more, slowly forgetting all his happy memories with Sephiroth.

Sephiroth in the Lifestream, forgetting Genesis ever even EXISTED.

Lone survivor Genesis making a grave for Sephiroth (and Angeal) because no one else ever will. He puts fresh flowers there every week. Because his Jenova cells cause him to live longer than everyone else, he and Vincent are the only ones who still remember the grave hundreds of years later.

[runerapier]

If you don't mind me asking, what makes you interpret Angeal as anything other than a straight man? He's the least gay character I've ever seen and he doesn't act gay either.

I'm going to assume this isn't sent in bad faith but this is pretty on point with the definition of stereotyping. I mean if you’re defining being gay by how someone looks or acts that is your first problem. Angeal has very outwardly masculine actions and appearance, I’m not really a fan of the insinuation that masculine men don’t “look” gay enough. Angeal isn’t even a hyper masculine or toxic masculine character, he is almost always described in a way that is seen as nurturing or caring. His own fan club compared his hobby of cooking to that of a wife. Things like gardening are often seen as more a “feminine hobby.” This isn’t to say Angeal breaks insane boundaries but Angeal isn’t this rigid masculine character in the first place. Besides my personal headcanons, Angeal and Genesis' stories take quite a bit from The Fall of Mankind (and religious and mythological symbolism in general but I'm going to try to stay on track). They purposely made two male characters represent Adam and Eve, and this isn't the first time they have done something like this in a final fantasy game. For example: while they are more developed than Genesis and Angeal, characters like Fang and Vanille are based on the Nordic myth of Ragnarok. There is a lot of information that couldn't be included in the final game of Crisis Core but is still intended canon, I'm going to be using a lot of that as a reference point. The full explanation is pretty extensive and I'm also not an expert on The Book of Genesis. I tried my best to do research for this, but it is possible I am still missing things and that this can still be expanded upon.

I'm going to start off by giving a deeper explanation on how Angeal represents Adam and how Genesis represents Eve. Genesis already has a very strong connection to The Book of Genesis because of his name. Rhapsodos comes from rhapsody, his full name is literally "genesis reciter". Genesis and Angeal were the first two attempts at an artificial “cetra” created by Shina representative of Adam and Eve being the first humans created by god. (While there is some debate if the first woman is Lilith, she is often been seen as a demoness.) The kanji for Shinra already is a direct reference to god, and is symbolism for how they like to play god themselves. The image below has a great explanation that is much better than what I can do, but to keep it short 神 (shin) literally means god or divine and 羅 (ra) is derived from 網羅 (mōra) which means "encompassing".

The fruit of knowledge is typically portrayed as an apple, which connects with banora whites. It represents temptation, Genesis offers the apple to others when talking about truth and revelation. Instances like in Nibelheim, Genesis offers the fruit to Sephiroth after telling him the truth of his origins. Sephiroth rejecting the fruit is a sign of him rejecting the truth, and we see he continues to go along with a story he is happier with. Sephiroth decides to believe misinformation that is less painful, the rejection of knowledge is indication he is not Adam or Eve.

Banora is heavily connected to the flow of the lifestream, which is what makes Banora whites grow any time of year. The lifestream is said to contain knowledge of the planet and its people, that being what powers the fruit further reinforces the idea that they represent the fruit of knowledge. Banora being the source for what is essentially miracle fruits powered by the planet, it is clear Banora is meant to be Eden.

Minerva is said to be sleeping in the caves of Banora, she represents the will of the lifestream. Though Minerva is connected more to Roman Myth and Sophia from Gnostic belief, I would still say she emphasizes the holiness of Banora's land.

Angeal has a story about not stealing to reflect Adam trusting god and not taking from the garden. God's words to Adam were "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat from it, you will certainly die." (Genesis 2:17) Angeal stole from other trees besides the big one that had the most delicious fruit. While it can be argued Angeal didn't steal from Genesis in general, Angeal's story focuses solely on the biggest tree with the most tempting fruit, that tree represents the tree of good and evil. At the end of the game, Zack eats an apple under this same tree with Genesis, protagonist and antagonist sharing from the same tree. Shortly after eating the apple Zack learns the truth about how long it's been and leaves to meet his fate.

Hollander approached Genesis with the truth of his origins, convincing Genesis to help him with his plans in exchange for a cure that Hollander never had. Eve was afraid of eating the fruit and dying because of what God told her, but the serpent convinced her she would live. “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” (Genesis 3:4-5). Both being deceived, they were convinced that they would live if they defied God, and become the catalysts for knowing the truth. Eve did not want to be alone in her defiance so she looked to Adam, much like how Genesis approaches Angeal to persuade him to take revenge against Shinra.

Besides Eve being referred to as Adam's wife, Adam also placed his trust in Eve above god. He decides to listen to her and trust her despite his creator telling him he will die. Angeal places his trust in Genesis above Shinra when he decides to defect, believing he can rationalize with him despite this being high treason.

This has happened before already, Angeal placed his trust in Genesis above Gillian and defies his mother to join Shinra. Gillian didn't want her family to be connected to Shinra and despite how highly Angeal respects his mother he still defied her wishes for the sake of following a dream with Genesis.

This leads into the next part, less about how they parallel The Book of Genesis and more about how they parallel other characters in the narrative. This makes me a little nervous to talk about so I’m going to put a small disclaimer that I am not arguing for any canonicity of ships because I think it is a waste of time. However, I think discussing characters' feelings that push their motivations is important.

In the narrative, Angeal also greatly parallels Cloud, I feel like this isn’t something that is talked about enough in general. They share a great deal of small parallels like both enjoying landscape photography, being associated with wolves, and elementally representing lightning. Besides surface level things, both Angeal and Cloud have a guilt complex and feel responsible for the people around them. The main parallel that’s important to this conversation is their childhood friend from the same countryside town.

Cloud was inspired by Sephiroth and his desire to protect people he loved like his childhood friend, Tifa, to join soldier. This is similar to Angeal joining to be with Genesis; their childhood friends are motivators for both of them.

This is something that’s pointed out in DFFOO as well, Angeal hears about Tifa and immediately draws the connection.

Both Cloud and Angeal feel responsible for protecting and looking after their loved ones, Angeal is seen as a caretaker type for this reason. Both Cloud and Angeal want to help fulfill the dream of their childhood friend, Tifa's was being saved by a hero and Genesis' being to share an apple with his hero Sephiroth. We see this when Cloud berates himself for not being the hero Tifa wanted and Genesis telling "Angeal" the dream has been fulfilled implying it has been something he knew about and wanted to help him achieve. Angeal's will in Lazard only fades away after Genesis said the dream came true, like there was a sense of fulfillment and that he could finally pass on after holding on for so long.

I find it interesting they intentionally draw parallels between Genesis & Angeal and Cloud & Tifa, people who have more explicit romantic feelings. I think Angeal and Genesis are supposed to represent a more “genuine” version of Cloud and Tifa’s relationship. Angeal represents the story cloud wanted to have throughout ffvii, having a childhood friend who never grew apart, who stayed together, and who followed a dream together. Angeal genuinely made soldier, and for a time he felt like he was in control of protecting others unlike Cloud. This contrast stays until the end, Cloud and Tifa learn to repair their relationship while Angeal and Genesis fall apart. Despite having everything Cloud wanted, it was not enough to sustain. This contrast is important in emphasizing that it is not about your background or your past, it is about what you do now and having people to fall back on. None of this is meant to be used as proof Genesis and Angeal are canon, but rather talk about Angeal's strong devotion and feelings for him since he was at least a teenager. They do not perfectly replicate the fall of mankind but it is interesting nonetheless. Here's to hoping we get to see more of how they interact in ever crisis.

[sephirthoughts]

cloud for the character ask if you haven’t done him yet, please :3

OH HO HO ANOTHER ANON SKULKING IN THE ASK GAME SHADOWS

let me see do i have any headcanons about

this guy?

this guy?

this guy?

yeah i have a few

Sexuality Headcanon:

canon: aromantic asexual. forced awkard mashing two barbies together kiss with generic waifu notwithstanding. cloud strife is aroace. that's what he is

serious: homoromantic-demisexual leaning toward ace

crack: poly pansexual sluttiverse

Gender Headcanon:

canon: male presenting

serious: transmasc and i don't have to explain myself next question

crack: genderless eldritch abomination that fucks

A ship I have with said character:

canon: NO ONE. cloud is asexual. the shippy horseshit the devs try to stuff him into with the harem of waifus for the loser gamebroz to jerk it to all falls flat and comes off forced and fake for a reason. that reason is that cloud is very very very clearly asexual. that said, i do think he has a fun, mutual, insanely toxic attraction to sephiroth

serious: sephiroth. OTP. their dynamic is planet-obliteratingly hot and they are clearly in love, in the worst, most toxic-ass obsessive freaky-shit have stabbed each other so many times way and i say that as a compliment. relationship goals. also vincent valentine. there are so many reasons for this, but the easiest one to explain is that their personalities and array of mental illnesses match one another's so well. also cloud can hang with vincent physically which is awesome. also i like to pair cloud in a FWB no-romance way with transfem tifa. they have a really cool dynamic

crack: OH HO HO EVERYFUCKINGONE except yuffie and that sentient wad of scrotal hair jessie

A BROTP I have with said character:

canon: zack, aerith

serious: zack, aerith, vincent

crack: he'd get along really well with rude. they could stand there being silent at each other. they'd also have sympathy with each other for having to work with a bunch of loud idiots

A NOTP I have with said character:

canon: tifa, aerith, yuffie, jessie. the whole harem. they're all godawful ship options for a variety of extremely obvious and less obvious reasons which i have yapped about in a lot of posts so i won't go over it again here.

serious: human slide-whistle yuffie and canon sexual predator jessie. otherwise i dunno man, i can make a lot of shit make sense, with some actual effort and storytelling. unlike the devs who seem to think boy+girl=chemistry. hell i shipped cloud with weiss the immaculate in canon-verse and made it make sense MY POWER IS LIMITLESS YOU FOOLS

crack: NO NOTPS IN CRACK

A random headcanon:

canon: cloud doesn't know what he looks like anymore. he just sees a weird blur in mirrors, and thus avoids them. he doesn't tell anyone because he doesn't tell anyone anything. you can show him a picture of himself and he will be able to see and describe the person you say is him, but he won't relate to the image as himself, nor will he retain it in his memory

serious: he's not terse, impatient, and a loner because he's broken. he was already like that before the trauma. he's perfect the way he is and does not owe his selfish shitty allistic friends any more exhausting masking than they already demand of him

crack: sephiroth beat the lifestream and cloud beat sephiroth therefore cloud is stronger than the lifestream which makes him the final arbiter of life and death in gaia. welcome to my shinigami cloud strife AU you're welcome

General opinion of said character:

cloud is so personal and deeply important to me that i actually talk about him a lot LESS than my other favorite characters, because exposing my thoughts and feelings about him feels like exposing myself, and i don't like to do that. i love him the way one loves a limb or a vital organ. if that sounds weird and dramatic, you will be pleased to recall that you are on tumblr dot com, the dramatic weirdo mothership. what were you expecting something normal?

anyway here are more pictures of my spirit animal soul mate long lost twin cloud strife

thank you for the asks anon! despite your cowardly skulking to evade my vengeance! 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

[bardic-tales]

Part One | Part Two

4.3.2025 - Headcanons - Permanent Memories. part two

As shown in Lifestyle Black, a short story in On the Way to A Smile, Sephiroth’s descent into the Lifestream was supposed to mark his rebirth by a complete shedding of past attachments and weaknesses.

In Fantasy Worlds Collide, among the first things he would attempt to erase was his love for Bianca, as emotions contradicted his pursuit of absolute control and self-reinvention. However, Bianca’s presence within him refused to be purged, persisting in ways that defied even the vast, consuming nature of the Lifestream. This struggle between forgetting and remembering transforms his love into something far more dangerous, an obsession that reshapes his perception of their destiny.

The second part of this article delves into the psychological and metaphysical implications of Sephiroth’s failed erasure of Bianca, exploring how their connection not only survives but strengthens more. Ultimately, their connection binds them together in a cycle neither can escape. This is only explaining the Red String of Fate and the nature of their bond. It does not take in account that she has Jenova and S-cells.

Possible Trigger Warnings: Amnesia, captivity, emotional manipulation, existential horror, loss of identity, memory erasure, obsession, psychological distress, soul-binding, trauma, unresolved grief.

Bianca and Sephiroth share a connection that defies the limits of ordinary relationships. More than just lovers or soulmates, their bond is a cosmic force woven into the very fabric of Existence itself. Unlike typical soul ties, which are shaped by shared experiences or emotions, their Red Thread of Fate predates even the Lifestream, making it immune to the spiritual laws that govern the Planet. Their souls were once a singular entity, split into two to prevent a prophecy destined to bring about both destruction and rebirth. This connection goes beyond the physical and emotional. It transcends dimensions, allowing them to remain tethered no matter where or when they exist.

A Bond That Exists Beyond the Lifestream

While the Lifestream dictates the cycle of life and death for most beings, Bianca stands apart. As a celestial entity, she is not bound to it, yet her link to Sephiroth allows her to sense and interact with him within it. The Red Thread of Fate does not tie Bianca to the Lifestream directly, but it acts as a bridge, enabling her to perceive his fragmented essence and while her celestial origins even allows her to communicate with spirits like Zack and Aerith without being pulled into the Planet’s spiritual current.

Unlike those who are absorbed into the Lifestream upon death, Sephiroth’s existence persists. Even as the Lifestream attempts to dissolve his identity, the connection to Bianca remains intact: an anchor that prevents him from fading into nothingness. This explains why she experiences visions, echoes of his emotions, and even physical manifestations of his pain without succumbing to the Lifestream’s pull herself.

An Interdimensional Tether Beyond Time and Space

Since their bond is not of the Planet’s design, it functions as an interdimensional tether rather than a spiritual link confined to a single world. This means:

No matter where Sephiroth is Bianca can still feel his presence. Whether in the physical realm, the Lifestream, or another dimension, his presence is still there.

The Red Thread ensures their connection persists even when Sephiroth’s existence is fragmented, making Bianca his one constant in a sea of chaos and rage.

Their souls resonate with one another, allowing Bianca to experience Sephiroth’s emotions, desires, and suffering across any distance.

Even though she does not belong to the Lifestream or the Planet, Sephiroth’s emotions still reach her. His rage, his obsession, and his pain? Everything he experiences reverberates through their bond. When he reaches for her, consciously or subconsciously, his essence imprints on her mind, dreams, and even physical state, drawing her deeper into his world despite their separation.

Sephiroth’s Amnesia and the Instinctual Search for Bianca

In Lifestream Black, Sephiroth erases his own memories in an attempt to purge his past. However, he cannot erase Bianca. She remains imprinted in his very being, lingering not as clear memories, but as distorted fragments and a subconscious need to find her again. His initial search for Bianca is not driven by logic or recollection. It is a primal, magnetic pull toward the one presence he cannot lose.

When he begins to “remember,” it is not through his own eyes but through the echoes of Bianca’s trauma. The Jenova’s corruption distorts his perception, leaving him with incomplete flashes of their past, particularly her screams as he fell in Nibel Reactor. As he pieces himself back together, he is also driven by the need to reconnect with the soul that has always been bound to his own: his other half.

The Dreamscape: A Realm Shaped by Their Bond

Sephiroth’s dreamscape is not a product of the Lifestream, but rather an independent psychic construct. It is a liminal space where his fragmented consciousness takes form. This realm exists between their minds and reality itself, shaped by his subconscious and given structure through the Red Thread of Fate.

However, because Sephiroth is broken within the Lifestream, his dreamscape is equally fractured. When Bianca enters this space, she does not experience their past as it truly was, but as he remembers it: distorted, disjointed, and filled with emotional gaps. It is also shaped by Seraphine's memories that are imprinted into Bianca's celestial DNA. The dreamscape is a testament to their bond. The dreamscape proves that even in his most fractured state, Sephiroth’s soul still calls out to Bianca.

Sephiroth’s Fragmented Soul and His Need for Bianca

Despite losing his memories, Sephiroth’s soul still recognizes Bianca as its missing half. The Lifestream may have stripped him of his identity, but it could not sever the connection between them. As a result:

His fragmented essence instinctively reaches for Bianca, even when his conscious mind does not remember why.

When he begins to reform himself, she becomes his first tether back to existence: not his ambitions, not his past, but her.

The Lifestream cannot fully erase him because Bianca, an entity beyond its reach, exists as an anchor that stabilizes his presence.

This is why the Lifestream “remembers” Bianca. Not because she is part of it, but because Sephiroth’s memories of her are too deeply ingrained for even the Lifestream to erase. His emotions, desires, and pain linked to Bianca influence the energies around him.

The Dreamscape: A Meeting Ground Beyond Reality

Since Bianca is neither fully of the physical world nor the Lifestream, the dreamscape serves as a neutral ground where she and Sephiroth can reunite.

If Sephiroth’s fragmented soul latches onto the shared dreamscape, he could shape it for his needs, allowing their Red Thread to manifest in a way that neither the Lifestream nor the physical realm can interfere with.

This space reinforces the idea that their bond transcends all known planes of existence, proving that nothing, not even death or memory loss, can sever their connection.

Bianca as Sephiroth’s Emotional Beacon

Beyond the cosmic and spiritual aspects of their bond, Bianca’s trauma plays a significant role in making her Sephiroth’s tether. Her unresolved grief, her obsessive devotion, and the depth of her love create an emotional beacon that Sephiroth is drawn to, even in his most fractured state.

She is his guiding star: the one presence that remains constant as he struggles to reclaim himself. He will often call her his guiding light because of this.

Her pain and longing act as a signal through the void, pulling him back when the Lifestream threatens to erase him entirely.

No matter how lost Sephiroth becomes, Bianca’s existence ensures that he will always find his way back to her.

Bianca and Sephiroth’s bond is not simply a relationship. It is a fundamental force of existence. The Red Thread of Fate that binds them is immune to time, space, and even the Lifestream itself. It ensures that, no matter how far apart they are, no matter how shattered Sephiroth’s soul becomes, they will always be drawn back to one another.

More than love and more than destiny, their connection is the very thing that prevents Sephiroth from fading away completely. Like Cloud, Bianca becomes a tether. Whether through dreamscapes or echoes in the Lifestream, Bianca remains his anchor. She is his one unshakable truth in a world that seeks to erase him.

@themaradwrites @craftyhal

@megandaisy9 @watermeezer

@prehistoric-creatures @creativechaosqueen @chickensarentcheap @seastarblue

@inkandimpressions @arrthurpendragon

[flowerwiththemachinegun]

Sephiroth x Reader Made for You

This was not at all what it was originally supposed to be, original description is at the very end.

New Description: Sephiroth x Reader. Ever Crisis-Crisis Core-ish (Pre-Nibelheim) timeline. 5.9k words. In which you were created to be Sephiroth’s perfect mate. Warnings?: Mentions of alcohol abuse, miscarriages and Hojo’s clammy hands all over you(not like that). Hojo meant for you to serve as a breeding ground to create more perfect subjects. His plans get disrupted as your mother doesn’t have the heart to subject you to more trauma{trauma enters stage left as intense as possible} . In a panic she abandons you in hope that Shinra won’t be able to track you down. Eventually you cross paths with Sephiroth, creating a bond that would last a lifetime. Written in a series of headcanons, I’ll probably re-use reader backstory in other fics but i didn’t want to write this as a full out fic. It is definitely up in the air as to what happens to your mother, let's hope she will won’t be found she deserves death, i don't care if she tried to make it right. No, the dad is not Hojo. The age ranges helped me track what I was typing but I don't think I'll take it away. I’d say probably a year or so older than Sephiroth. Will make a part two for the events following Genesis’ departure-FF7 possibly through Advent Children too.

_________________________________________

Age 1:

 Your mother, Levy, came to her senses shortly after giving birth to you. Taking off in the dead of night to hide her precious child from the cruel clutches of Professor Hojo. When she signed up for this project she didn’t fully realize what she would be submitting herself to, the kind of torment she’d relinquish a baby to, her baby to. She wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt knowing that she gave you the worst possible future. So in a desperate attempt to “set things right” she abandons Shinra, leaving Midgar and taking you to Corel.

Levy knows she can’t stay with you, she’d be far too easy to track down. Besides, Hojo would never let one of his prized experiments get very far. Certainly he wouldn’t want Levy to get away, not after trying to ruin such a delicate process. There are consequences to these actions and everyone gets caught eventually. She needs to make this quick. It's already been two weeks since the two of you escaped, knowing that she doesn’t have the resources or connections to stay hidden for very long sends her into even more of a panicked state.  

All things considered, the decisions she made were already questionable, so it was no surprise that Levy’s poor choices led her to handing you off to some random stranger who reeked of liquor. Granted, he might have been absolutely shitfaced but he did at least seem to have a warm spirit. That was the last time she ever saw you, hugging you tightly and kissing you on the forehead before venturing on to the next unknown location.

The day Levy dropped you off to the strange man was a turning point for your “adoptive father”, Kaiser. Previously he was a drunk with a gambling problem, only picking up odd jobs to fuel his addictions. While he heavily considered taking you to the nearest clinic and dropping you off, another part of him thought the lifestream brought this child to him for a reason. That maybe now his life had purpose again, that maybe if he could do some strange lady a favor that it might atone for the things he’s previously done.

Age 4:

 Kaiser started to pick up his bad habits again, losing every job he’d obtained due to showing up drunk; not showing up at all because he was out gambling all of his funds away, or the icing on the cake that led to his inability to find another job in Corel, stealing. In such a small town word got around fast, yet people still went out of their way to give him a chance, more so for your sake, not Kaiser’s. The townspeople could only be sympathetic to an extent, eventually not being considered for hire by anyone. Following these events led him searching for work outside of Corel, branching out to Midgar where he got a job doing residential plumbing. 

Age 4-10:

It was enough to make ends meet, renting out a single bedroom in the slums of sector 5. Not the most ideal or comfortable living situation but it was better than being on the streets. The move to Midgar at least showed positive signs in your father, but that would only last for so long. He was always still loving towards you, though at times it was hard to tell how much he truly cherished you since he seemed more interested in trying to maintain both lifestyles when he should’ve picked you above all. It was when he discovered Wall Market his presence dwindled down to a minimum. Still claiming that you saved his life and all of that other nonsense while leaving you to fend for your own in the same breath.

Age 10-12:

 Eventually you started leaving home alone, beginning to venture out and wander the slums. After a certain point you couldn’t sit around waiting for Kaiser to feed you, never knowing what he would come back to take care of or even tell you he loves you. This existence was so painfully lonely. Without much direction in life thus far you started getting involved with a group of fellow misguided children. Learning how to break into homes, shops, showing you how to pickpocket people; life was hard enough in itself, these few skills (if you wanna call it that) helped you get by. Despite Kaiser still being around you had to start getting funds on your own, especially when you learned property owners had zero problem throwing a child out on the streets no matter your situation. 

You and your tightknit group of baby thugs manage to bring your string of break ins to the upper plate, securing passes to the top for the oldest of the group (18-20) and the younger of the group would act like they were with an older sibling, negating the need for passes as they were minors. Picking a different plate to explore each time you went up and stole whatever you found valuable or simply wanted out of greed as long as you could discreetly bring it back. Roaming Sector 2 may have been your biggest mistake. Quickly stuffing the tools from a car you broke into your bag, slamming the trunk shut and taking off as fast as possible. It was already a risky area to break into cars at, the spot you chose happened to be a bit too out in the open, you just had a hunch something good would be in the vehicle. All but running around the corner to distance yourself from your crime you bump into someone making you fall right on your ass. 

Twelve years. He’s been looking for you for twelve long years with practically no traces, yet here you were. Had Hojo told Heidegger no at the notion of going out to lunch together you wouldn’t have been sprawled out on the ground in front of him. The minute you locked eyes with the strange man, a menacing smirk spread across his features. Hojo’s nice words betraying his true intention and twisted glee, looking into those e/c glowing eyes Hojo knew you belonged to him. Reaching a hand out to help you up, apologizing for being “clumsy”, asking where your parents are, his grin never leaving his face. Not taking the time to talk to him, you mumble a quick thanks for helping you up, immediately darting off to find the others, a bit shook at the thought of nearly being caught. Surely you had been caught, just not in the way you thought. 

Despite being, in Hojo’s eyes, inadequate due to his lack of presence in your life, you were still valuable. You were another product of the Jenova Project, not quite to serve the same purpose as the First Class SOLDIERS, though you could have been just as strong. He’s missed too many monumental milestones in your growth to achieve similar results as Sephiroth. However, that isn’t going to stop him from trying in combination with ensuring you’re capable of achieving your original use. It won’t be hard for him to track you now, he knows what you look like and where you’ve been. The city is riddled in surveillance and Hojo will see to it you are found, sending out several Turks to monitor you, requesting they take various items from the shared home of you and Kaiser that would contain any traces of your DNA. 

It didn’t take long for Hojo to prove who you were and that you were Shinra property, he was already certain of it after your first interaction. In the short time you were in Hojo’s presence one of the first things he did was take many samples from you. Even without the DNA Hojo had he would be able to find out your identity. Simply drawing your blood would have sufficed but he was forced to go about taking you back in a more “tame” manner. The minute the samples matched he sent the Turks in to snatch you up and bring you in, demanding Kaiser be brought with them. 

Age 12-15: 

Hojo didn’t make it a secret where you came from, telling you early on that you have always been Shinra property, claiming this was your real home. Over time Hojo somehow convinced you this life was better than the life you lived in the slums as well as any of the time you spent with Kaiser. Honestly, it was hard for you to tell as neither lifestyle proved to be healthy. At least you had regular meals and a guaranteed roof over your head, regardless of it being a creepy cold lab, but you were once again back to being alone but now all of the time. Never allowed to interact with anyone, your only company was Hojo, if that could count. Rarely talking to you outside of questioning you in relation to testing or attempting to cram as much knowledge into your brain as possible. Also sharing interactions with the couple of Turks he allowed to train you, Hojo oversaw each training session, cutting off any conversation he felt didn’t assist in your progression. Which were certainly most of them.

An absolute fucking nightmare. Being subjected to Hojo’s experiments was, now, the worst thing you’ve ever experienced, you thought life was challenging before but currently this is a special kind of hell. Being left in mako tanks for weeks on end because you “need to catch up”, being kept awake for the majority of your surgical experiments unless it was really necessary. Forced to repeatedly kill in order to prove your worth, doing things you couldn't imagine just in the hopes to save a “father” they’ve already killed. You don’t know this information, the leverage you think they have against you makes you more inclined to go along with their plans. 

Hojo learned the hard way that your abilities to heal like the others were extremely lacking. On this particular day Hojo was, once again, invading your body. Not so much to alter anything, but taking notes on significant changes from past surgeries and experiments, as well as testing new equipment. He wouldn’t admit it due to his “singular genius” but the machine he created to assist in speeding up surgical processes malfunctioned. In turn severely damaging numerous organs and causing excessive bleeding. While, no, just any organs won’t do, he’s going to piece you together as fast as he can. Refusing to let you go after seeking you out all of this time. Your potential is too great. Quickly pulling out a few cadavers that were failures from the Jenova Project, but due to the genetic makeup, their parts will have to do. Smiling as he pieced you back together, taking organs from the other bodies and replacing your damaged parts.

Something about killing you, reviving you, and nursing you back to health brought you and Hojo closer to each other. Having a portion of his lab reconstructed into a small living quarters so you could be more comfortable while you got better. Between all of his other experiments, you, plus Sephiroth, Hojo found it convenient to spend a lot of time in your space. Partially due to his constant need to take care of you after that last incident, Hojo's day would often end with you. Swooping by to change any bandages, check vitals, asking the usual to help assess your health. You’re not sure what made you reach out to him, or why he surprisingly extended his hand out to you. It came to a point the nightmares were just too much, the nightmares Hojo instilled in you. In spite of all signs telling you to run from him, your skin crawling when you think about Hojo, you still wanted his comfort. Requesting that he stays with you for the night, telling him you were too scared to fall asleep because of the things you’ll see. Hojo rolls his eyes and scoffs at this, nevertheless he settles himself into your quarters. Crawling into your bed just as you wanted, finding himself annoyed by the display of weakness, yet a foreign warmness crept into Hojo’s chest. It was uncomfortable, it was weak, it was welcoming. The smallest smile of content cracking through Hojo as you crawl on him, resting your head on his chest. Bringing one of his arms to wrap around you snuggly. While no, you weren’t his kid, you brought out this almost fatherly sensation out of him.

You would never get permission to leave his lab, being able to occasionally roam about as he monitored your actions. If for once he was strictly doing paperwork related tasks he would allow you out as well, still keeping a close eye on you. Often finding yourself standing in front of pods of lifeless beings, half wondering if you’d end up like them; the other half curious as to what they are, or rather what Hojo did to make them what they are. Eventually you can’t help but question him on some of these things as he takes you back to your portion of the lab. Many times he ignores your questioning, knowing the complexities of each creature would be too much for you to understand, not hesitating to let you know. Eventually your constant questioning led to another connection the two of you developed, starting to take the time to explain some of the creatures, even providing you his research from a few of them. To Hojo’s surprise you caught on impressively fast, here he was thinking you weren’t the most competent finding himself able to have full conversations with you about projects he felt he was permitted to talk about with you. 

Age 15-17

Hojo finally started integrating back into the real world. Allowing you to go on missions with the Turk members who've been training you. Leaving that lab had been viewed as a form of freedom in their eyes, accepting taking you on assignments willingly. Not without a sense of guilt as some of your actions would shape the person you would become, feeling like you were too young to experience such events. Granted, you’ve already been through hell, you just dish it out now definitely still being tormented. Your success rate consistently being 100% never failed to get you praise from Hojo, uttering some nonsense about getting closer and closer to his goal with you. Not that he’d ever tell you what you were really used for outside of “genetic testing”. Well, it isn’t a total lie afterall, you were a walking, talking genetic nightmare and Hojo was the only person that would ever understand what makes you tick.

Meeting Sephiroth was entirely planned on Hojo’s behalf, keeping the two of you out of sight from one another as you grew up. It was simply better to go about introducing the two of you this way. Sending the two of you off on a mission with a few other SOLDIER members to eliminate a former Shirna employee who took off with some very valuable materia. Upon seeing Sephiroth you almost couldn’t contain your glee, finally meeting someone your own age for the first time in four years. The trip to Modeoheim provided a fairly interesting conversation between you and Sephiroth. The look of surprise written all over his face as your words hint at you growing up with Hojo as well. Once Sephiroth pieced it together he was a bit confused, frowning at his own question, “I’ve been there my whole life, why haven’t I seen you before?” You’re aware of what you should and shouldn’t talk about, vaguely going into detail about the small amount of time you remembered in Corel and your life in Midgar but not quite how you were brought to Shinra. Revealing you never knew your parents and having an adoptive father who “vanished” according to Hojo’s words accompanied in building a bridge between yourself and Sephiroth. The two of you could heavily relate to each other, even being able to make dark jokes about the weird things Hojo has subjected you to. That gets a lot of worried glances from everyone around, but nobody is going to speak on it. Following this successful mission you and Sephiroth have the joy of working together on three other occasions before you don’t see him for years.

Age 18-23

Hojo had no intentions on letting you be a part of SOLDIER directly, stating that it would be a waste of resources, making it clear that wasn’t what you were trained for nor born for. As time passes on Rufus decides to make you an official member of the Turks with Hojo’s permission. You’ve taken on missions from them as is; working hand and hand with Tseng many times in which you gained his approval as well. Rufus wanted Tseng to retrain you personally, your skills already being a cut above the rest. However, Rufus wasn’t present for a majority of your original training. No worries though, Tseng is going to help you brush up those already near perfect skills. Making sure your physical training was consistently up to date and your wits were as sharp as ever. The mental training with Tseng was far more grueling than the physical training, taking you through espionage-esque simulations that could last for weeks. He had to be positive that your critical thinking and adaptability were to his liking. Not to mention making sure you were capable of making difficult and immoral decisions at the blink of an eye with no hesitation. Gaia, when the objective was to outsmart Tseng you’ve hardly passed. An accomplishment that’s a near impossible hard feat to achieve, after attempt after attempt he finally gave you a pass. Though you can’t call it a win, not when Tseng told you “Not good enough to trick me, but a mass of the population wouldn’t pick up on it.” In the end Tseng turned you into what he would consider a perfect Turk, well near perfect. The duo of Reno and Rude would certainly taint your more serious demeanor, teaching you how to properly slack off and to time inappropriate jokes so you could grate at Tseng’s nerves. Even coming up with your own Turk-Two Step for each one of the iconic duo. Joining the Turks was like joining a family, a really fucked up one that carried out a lot of unethical tasks together, but a family nevertheless. 

Once you became a Turk you finally moved out of Hojo’s lab, getting your first apartment. You would still be residing in the Shinra building, instead on a residential floor. You seemed to be loyal to the company, either it stemming from a genuine place or the knowledge that there is no escaping Shinra. Being as deeply involved as you were, it isn't like they’d let you go easily  and you had nowhere to run off to. Shinra really was all you had. So letting you venture out on your own just didn’t seem like it would be problematic. Besides, who else would take care of you except for Hojo, he was probably the only person on the planet that could. As sickly as you could be, it would be foolish to stay away from him, common medical practices wouldn’t be of any use. Which is fine by you, the connection you developed with Hojo is still strong. It was an odd relationship but you cared for him in a fatherly sense. Hojo was far from being an actual father figure but when you squint your eyes and tilt your head it made sense. Seeing that he took care of you for so long, teaching you practically everything you know, showing you in his own twisted way that he cares for you. You still go in for regular testing, sometimes extra experiments if Hojo wants to try something new. These days the extra “modifications” would be made less and less. To make up for your lack of presence in Hojo’s lab you make it your job to pop up as often as possible, interrupting his research unless he was working on something live. 

One of the days you pay Hojo a visit, you find Sephiroth sitting on an examination table, shirtless as Hojo checks his vitals. If it weren’t for a few obvious factors you wouldn’t have recognized him. He’s grown a lot since you worked together 5 years ago. Tall, muscular and his hair had grown an ungodly amount. You had seen pictures around but that was nothing compared to physically seeing him. Quickly turning your gaze towards Hojo, giving him a hug before swiftly greeting Sephiroth and rushing out the door. Attraction was certainly a foreign experience, not having anywhere near enough time to dabble in dating or any relations that would fall under that category. To Hojo’s delight Sephiroth would ask if he knew where to find you and without hesitation he gave Sephiroth your floor and residential number. By all means, Hojo already retrieved the necessary means to reproduce between the two of you. He would much rather this process occur naturally, carrying the child yourself would very well give different results. He’d love to compare the difference between a child naturally conceived between you and Sephiroth and a test tube version.

It didn’t take very long for Sephiroth to come looking for you thinking that perhaps he may be going a step too far coming to your home. He simply couldn’t stop thinking about you, one of the only people he felt he could relate to on an entirely different level. A part of him viewing the small amount of time the two of you spent together as unfair, he deserved to be showered in more of your presence. You left Hojo's lab with such haste that he could barely catch a glimpse of you. So here Sephiroth stands, in front of your door staring at it like it might attack him. Ah, he forgot he was completely socially inept, being positive that he’s never felt this type of fear even on the battlefield. It’s okay, he’ll be spared a bit of the anxiety that came with knocking on your door as you sneak up behind him. Staring at your front door with the same amount of curiosity before questioning him, “Is there something wrong with it?” The look on his face said it all. Shock, embarrassment, you could practically feel the tension rolling off of this man. There was no denying the small smile tugging at Sephiroth’s lips as you asked if he found what he was looking for, telling you that he “certainly did”. Now that you were up close you couldn’t help but examine him, asking yourself if you were sure this was the same man from your first missions. A few moments of silently looking each other over passes before inviting him in with you. The two of you sit in an awkward silence for a bit before you take charge of conversation to ease his obviously wary mind. Guiding him through conversation seemed to fair far better, he had always been a bit awkward but dare you say it got worse. Not that it bothers you, it’s adorable watching the world’s strongest man trip over his words while talking to you. By the time he left it was nearing 1am, promising to come back, hugging you tightly before he departed. You could feel him stiffen as he hugged you, but the rapid beating of his heart told you everything.

Over the course of the next couple of years, your relationship with Sephiroth would strengthen. With Sephiroth finally being sent back to Midgar you were able to see him more and more. Of course he was still busy with his role in SOLDIER, but he made sure to make an open slot for you any chance he got. There was never quite a verbal discussion as to where your relationship was going, neither one of you knowing how to go about initiating a relationship normally. Your unspoken loyalty to each other was clear though, he was yours and you were, without a doubt, his. At some point Sephiroth starts getting you out of the Shinra building if your schedules align for it, he’s tired of seeing Shinra walls and thinks you should be too. Taking you to restaurants Angeal and Genesis would suggest he take you to, sometimes wandering the streets in the dead of the night, away from prying eyes. It took a lot of adjusting to how much attention Sephiroth would draw on your outings, jokingly offering to “take care of them”. There had to be a balance of course, you couldn’t be in the public light very much as a Turk, so having your face plastered everywhere as Sephiroth’s significant other wouldn’t do. That worked out in both of your favors, never caring to be in such a crowded scene. You would start spending nights at his place; whether it was due to Sephiroth or being outside of Shinra walls, easily could’ve been the combination of both, you could finally sleep easily. Falling into routine (Sephiroth’s subtle ways of begging for attention) at some point you abandon your apartment, only stopping there if work keeps you over too long or to grab any items you need along the way.

Being sent on missions became difficult for you, it wasn’t due to any difficulty spikes. You were more than capable of handling any tasks they sent your way, it was the distracting thoughts and incomplete sensation you got when Sephiroth wasn’t by your side. Finding it hard to fall asleep on missions just as the time you first began venturing out into the world. It was even worse when you would come back to Sephiroth being deployed on a mission. Though you missed each other dearly the distance would never come between each other, in fact the two of you were certain nothing would. You were made for him, something he tells you often, unknowing the true depth of his words. There were at least perks to being away from him for extended periods of time. The way Sephiroth would take care of you after a mission was unmatched. No, he couldn’t cook, making him stay far away from the kitchen after his first time making you a meal (you got food poisoning and it tasted exactly like military rations). However, he would do sweet things if time allowed, like having flowers waiting for you, running baths, giving you massages to help soothe your aching muscles after a rather rough time on the field, not to mention the sex. And boy, did he have a list of kinks. The longer you were away would at times dictate how intense he would fuck you when you got back. Amongst all things he was there for you after all of your missions, not all of them made you feel guilty enough to cause much turmoil. But as we know, you work doing Shinra’s dirty work, and at times the things you had to do to keep Shinra in good lighting were downright atrocious. Sephiroth being able to thoroughly understand your mental state after particular missions helped in comforting, while you were unable to talk about most events that occurred during missions, you didn’t have to. He has you and he’s going to hold you until you stop crying, just as you do for him when Sephiroth’s guilt tears him to shreds.

Discovering you were pregnant had to be the second most terrifying event in your life. Finding Sephiroth sitting at the dining room table reading, you break the news to him, not feeling keen on hiding anything from him. Sephiroth borderline passed out at the news but he was happy “You don’t seem to reciprocate the feeling, is this not what you wanted with me?” Sephiroth has said in the past he wanted a family of his own, expressing his desire to create a healthy environment, to be a parent to his offspring. He just wants to give his child the life he wanted so dearly. God’s it certainly was, but it wasn’t at the same time, explaining how reliant you are on Hojo due to your health. A reminder that nearly causes him to flip the table over, this was probably the loudest you ever heard him get angrily shouting that he “doesn’t want that monster anywhere near my child!” Watching the emotional breakdown he had as fear crept in, he might not have a choice but to let you deal with Hojo for the duration of your pregnancy. In addition to the chance Sephiroth may even have no choice other than to let that “sick fuck”  run tests on them, easily became one of the most heartbreaking sights. Holding him tightly you dually decide to keep it under wraps as long as you can, knowing it couldn’t last long as you have regular checkups just as Sephiroth does.

Hojo can sense something isn’t right, your lack of presence makes that part obvious. Coupled with you avoiding appointments the last 4 months, coming up with some work related excuse that he knew was bullshit. He gets access to everything you do, everywhere you go, he could damn near tell you what the last batch of paperwork you signed for Tseng entailed word for word. Once again giving your cellphone a call knowing today was an off day for you, letting out a frustrated sigh as you let it go to voicemail. He has time today, he’s going to call until you answer the damn thing. Even stopping by your apartment, by now he knows you’re rarely there. Often spending your time at Sephiroth’s loft, showing up there was a thought but he had a hunch your lack of attendance had something to do with Sephiroth. Sephiroth probably wouldn’t answer the door for him or lie about your whereabouts. During his walk back to his lab Hojo is pleasantly surprised to see your name show up on the screen of his phone, immediately asking why you haven’t showed up to any appointments. Hojo was well on his way to lecturing you about how fragile and unpredictable your health could be before being cut off by Sephiroth's worried voice. He was speaking in a jumbled mess, being able to make out bits of what Sephiroth was saying as he was talking a million miles per second. At Sephiroth’s explanation, if you could call it that, Hojo tells him to bring you in. Hearing the hesitance in Sephiroth’s reply Hojo utters out coldly “or would you rather y/n bleed out?”

Upon running an ultrasound Hojo determines you were roughly four months in. “Four months in with no heartbeat.” Anger was an absolute understatement, due to you and Sephiroth’s combined stupidity killing a perfectly good specimen. Hojo’s concern hardly lied with you, but he was going to act the part so well it had Sephiroth questioning himself as to why Hojo never shared that same amount of care. The very moment Hojo was done cleaning you up and checking your vitals once more, he asks to speak to Sephiroth in private as they let you rest. Hojo would use this moment to gaslight Sephiroth to no end, directing all of his aggression at the silver haired man as soon as were far enough from your room. Venom laced Hojo’s tone as he asked what the two of you were thinking. Sephiroth had no problem stating his distaste for Hojo, in great detail, furiously stating that Hojo wouldn’t “fuck up my kid as you did me.”  In Hojo’s mind he was throwing an absolute fit. There were no words to describe the fury coursing through his veins at Sephiroth’s words. “If I’m hearing you correctly, your reasoning is because you are scared of me?” That was the straw to break the camel’s back, Sephiroth snatching Hojo by his coat, shoving him against the wall so hard it leaves a dent. The action surprised them both. While Hojo wasn’t scared, he was taken aback. Hojo hardly had time to register Sephiroth’s movements as grabbed him up in a flash. Knowing Sephiroth wouldn’t go through with hurting him, Hojo continues his mental assault. Stating in a matter of fact way “Had you brought y/n to me the minute you knew, they both could have been fine, but now we’ll never know."  “Your paranoia led to their deaths.”  “And to think, y/n told you a long time ago they need me.” Making it very clear the amount of danger the two of you naively subjected your child Hojo’s creation and yourself to was reckless. “What were you going to do if they were sent on assignment?”  “Next time, show y/n you actually care, get them the help they require. Not everyone’s life operates on your terms.” After those words Sephiroth releases Hojo, defeated in a way he’s never felt before. Walking back to your recovery room, refusing to leave your side until you're cleared to go. 

Sephiroth wouldn’t sleep well for a while following these events, the guilt keeping him up for months. Not showing up to work, skipping meals, moping all of the time, notable of all Sephiroth’s refusal to leave your side. At times unable to cope, truly feeling as though the loss of your child and the risk your life was in was entirely his fault. Hojo’s words playing over and over again in his head like a broken record. Sephiroth never told you what Hojo said that night, he’s not even sure why he didn’t, mostly due to him believing everything Hojo said. He would break down from time to time about it, crying and apologizing profusely for all the pain he caused you, despite the million times you told Sephiroth he’s done nothing wrong. He would try his hardest to stay strong around you, knowing you would easily feel worse than him. You were the one pregnant afterall, the one to fully experience the impact of a miscarriage. Then why does it feel like he’s shedding more tears over this than you? It made his sense of guilt go through the roof. You definitely cried a lot after you lost your baby, falling into a depression, finding yourself not leaving Sephiroth’s arms for hours as you too sulked around. Despite Sephiroth feeling like he wasn’t supporting you enough, the reality was you both were a source of strength for each other and he too has a right to feel sadness. You would pick him back up, as he would do the same for you. Eventually falling back into old routines. Going on outings again, enjoying the night breeze, having spontaneous little date nights, or just spending your time in comfortable silence. Yeah, sometimes the pain would come back, it was hard not to dwell on it, but at least life felt normal between the two of you once more. Well, as normal as it could get with your lives. This peace would only last so long as Genesis deserts Shinra, leaving Sephiroth’s mental state to begin declining again. At least he had you and Angeal, not to mention the little baby growing in you again. Let’s just hope your pregnancy goes smooth this time and Genesis returns soon.

______________________________________________________________

Lollllll Christ I'm sorry I couldn't just let ya'll be happy but that's not how it's going. I'm kind of happy with the direction this went vs my original description which is...questionable at best. It's 5 am now so im gonna get some fuckin sleep

Original description: NSFW? But not really NSFW? Warning might change I dunno yet. Hojo x Reader headcanons. Sick little freaky old bastard I have no idea why I love him. I’d real deal take that dick for some SOLDIER juice. I prefer the idea of Hojo rejecting me though, makes me feel good and desperate. Warnings: idk this sounds like grooming but unintentional. I still want arranged breeding with Sephiroth. This isn’t incest, halfway through my mind said “aye dawg the lines are kind of blurred here”, we don’t know who the father is but it won’t be Hojo cause if we were doing that with anyone, he is not the guy. 

[queered-into-oblivion]

elaborate on the Sephiroth DID please I’d love to see your thoughts

Ha, absolutely.

- Advanced notice we use all pronouns for Sephiroth hence pronoun switches. We headcanon them as transfeminine genderqueer.

First the more ‘understandable’ reasons, followed by my own less founded headcanons. I apologise for complete lack of formatting/how horrendously rambling and likely unreadable this is but regardless.

DID specific reasoning:

- The amount, severity, length and inescapable nature of the childhood trauma they face makes me unable to see how their egostates would fuse/be able to function without heavy compartmentalization.

- Generally, his nature in The First Soldier chapter two/Crisis Core/pre-Nibelheim is overtly dissociative. Especially Crisis Core where there seems to be full ‘detachment’ and dissociative tendencies when Genesis and Angeal vanish. Since we do not see the aftermath of Modeoheim from her perspective, I imagine it is likely similar to/worse than already shown as that seems her immediate response to most triggers.

- Due to marketing/promotion alongside military and laboratory existence it is highly lightly there would be heavily trained conditioning to respond in exact and particular ways depending on current stimulation. Due to the severity of abuse and conditioning it is unlikely a child mind would he able to handle these stark differences in experience and expectation without amnesia and dissociative barriers in place/different ‘parts’ to hold exclusively certain responses so they would not or were less likely to show in inappropriate times.

- The question of amnesia is more pressing, it is unlikely that large points of day to day activity are forgotten most of the time - as they often are in DID simply due to that not being ‘permitted’ by Hojo/Shinra - but I do believe:

- - Consistent emotional amnesia in the entire system.

- - Full amnesia between ‘propaganda/front facing’ parts, ‘regular’ parts and ‘war’ parts would be consistent; alongside semi-frequent dissociative fugues wandering around the Shinra building.

- - A personal headcanon is that early in combat training/wartime there was full blackout amnesia in and out of combat. This was masked due to his general ‘standoffish’ and otherwise quiet nature but would likely have been noted by those trying to be close with him.

- The differences between 私 and 俺 Sephiroth are ‘explained’ obviously by discarding memories into the lifestream but I believe it is amusing to imagine all of the alters within him having different personal pronouns. Furthermore it provides some interesting readings into the split of Pre, During and Post Nibelheim if he was already filled with several acting parts and alters it would be reasonable that something like that would cause a further system breakdown.

- (The note of personal pronouns is entirely self indulgent as that is what happens with our own system when living in Japan.)

- Headaches, she experiences an unbelievable amount of them. As does everyone with a dissociative disorder./lighthearted

[shroudkeeper]

I love seeing Rivi with her maidens c: What’s the story behind them, if you don’t mind me asking?

@sugarsagecat also asked: Oh please, oh please I must know more about Rivienne's companions in the latest screenshots!

Thank you for asking and I hope the holidays are kind to you!

Honestly, when I first took photos of them, I didn't consider an actual storyline attached to the ladies. However, the more I thought about it, the more it fleshed itself out in headcanons as to why Rivienne would be accompanied by maidens. There is a bit to the background as to how this came to be, I hope you do not mind --

It would date back to when Rivienne rushed past the walls of Castrum Oriens; she was rumored, among their ranks, to be a force that struck down the garrison that would set themselves before her vicious path. Within these fortified walls, conscripts were forced to fight, becoming fodder for her starved blade. These people were once of the Shroud, they were shackled and then trained to die for the Empire. However, they were met with mercy and not steel. They were met with the perfume of blood and iron, and from the bloody lips of the woman that stormed the compound, instructions to flee were given, to seek liberation and unbind themselves from this oppressive situation.

And so they did.

A few never returned and found it easier to go where no one knew their names and history; the ones that tried found that no one awaited their return, thus they felt ostracized in Gridania's society. Their choices were limited, and with very little to their name, they turned to the woods, finding that facing the elements would fare better than being shunned by the denizens. Banditry became the way of life, that was until betrayal and greed among members dissolved their group. Diminished in numbers, some of them scattered, others decided to venture deeper into the forest, finding solace in solitude. It was these women who used what knowledge they acquired from these last years to fend for themselves under the thick canopies of the Black Shroud.

Many years had passed since freedom was granted to them, and though there were hardships faced since then, they had not forgotten the scent of blood-soaked flowers. The same scent was picked up by the winds on a chance evening traveling near the Guardian Tree. It was there that they first caught the glint of something under speckled sunlight filtering through the treetops. The gilded armor, the dishevel of golden curls, the sword that drank the blood of the tyrants that captured them. It was impaled into the earth, and against the lush grass, gathered at the foundation of the gnarled roots, was she seated, bound by them, cushioned by flowers that bloomed in her self-induced slumber.

The weariness of constant battle had not only affected her physically, but mentally she had grown tired of this world.

She would not awaken with any of their rousings, her skin was cool to the touch yet she drew breath. They cared for her in that dormant state, but considering how the archaic rhizomes curled around her limbs they had all assumed that she had become part of it. Yet they did not stray far from where she rested.

It was not long until rumors reached the ears of bandits of the fallen warrior who was adorned in gold, and they sought to rip it free from it - for what did a dead woman have need of such. The women, who had been caring for her, took arms when hearing of the intrusion, but with what little they had, they were outnumbered and ill-equipped against them.

When the fight arrived at dawn break and the women stood their ground, their prayers were whispered and they readied themselves to be received into the lifestream..

.. but such was not the end of their tale that day.

From behind them, the wind ferried the scent of flowers and the earth released its fury as Rivienne stood and addressed them as filth, blaming them for interrupting her slumber. Before they could retaliate, she beckoned the ground with a few words to part under the feet of their assailants. Stunned, they women who would be her protectors, watched in astonishment as the world shifted, and into the heavens rang the screams released as the maw of the earth swallowed the bandits. Though the spell took much out of her, they were rescued..

─ once again.

The Greenwrath, they assumed her to be, made into flesh and blood. They believed it was fate to find her, to protect her as she had done for them. No protest would come from Rivienne, who owed them for caring for her in turn. They were warrior women wanting somewhere to belong and Rivienne offered a home, and a blade, that would keep them safe.

[chocobochaserstories]

Odd headcanon that exists in my brain: The Remnants of Sephiroth still cause trouble in the Lifestream. Aerith follows them around with a spray bottle.

“Kadaj, off, no. No chewing on Materia.”

“Yazoo, stop staring at that old lady’s soul, you’re scaring her.”

“Loz, what- actually what are you doing?”

“Zack, don’t encourage them!”

[capriccio-ffxiv]

Big rambly thoughts / speculation post.

I only JUST cleared the level 99 trial (I am in Job Search Hell and don't have a lot of free time) and have yet to actually enter the final zone, but, have a wild headcanon:

The original Sphene was a Hermes shard.

This is PURE headcanon, by the way, I have 0 canon evidence, but I do have a lot of incidental evidence/themes that fit, and I am Choosing to Go There.

Completely unable to accept death to the point of it being pathological

When confronted with "Honey you gotta let it go," reaction is instead to try to kill everyone

Green

The pattern was also true of Amon. Well, we don't know if he was green, I guess. But "unable to accept death" and "I will start murdering everyone and every thing rather than let people take the thing I love away from me, no matter how bad that would be for the universe, and if the thing is taken from me anyway then I'm just gonna kill EVERYTHING."

Further thoughts: This being a memory simulacrum of the original Sphene, her actual soul was probably slated to be used up a long time ago. (I may be contradicted on this shortly? Please don't tell me anything until I've said I've cleared the rest of the MSQ...) That's perfectly fine for Ascian purposes, & Emet-Selch may well have just quietly plucked that soul up and tucked it away for use later if/when their Fandanial got his ass perma-killed. Even better, if it was put through the memory tumbler, there'd be no pesky mortal memories to cloud up this new Fandaniel. Further thought: the entire thing as a prototype for future Ascian creation, given that Fandaniel was likely unstable from the get-go, and he probably wasn't the first one whose mortal memories caused Problems. Also for retrieving Ancient memories from the Aetherial Sea, which we know is possible thanks to Athena.

Even if she is using her original soul (doubtful), the above would *still* stand, because the process used to create her would have still cleared that soul of memories entirely, leaving it as basically "just" a power source.

Tbh Pandemonium actually primed us for A LOT of these concepts -- the Erich we meet in the Sea specifically is a random memory-less soul that Athena glued his memories to (and Athena was using his actual soul via Claudian as fuel for her attempts at true soul creation). ... we are EXTREMELY lucky that Sphene never met Athena. Holy crap, Athena would have been even more dangerous with the kind of tech and research Alexandria had done.

I'm also getting FF7 Shinra / Midgar vibes from some of Alexandria vis a vis the souls as power source & literally sucking up the lifestream of the planet to sustain a specific lifestyle.

[altocat]

Alto what are your top 3 angst headcanons

Sephiroth and Lucrecia dream about each other periodically

Angeal waits for Sephiroth in the afterlife, pleading with him to finally let go and find peace

Sephiroth's final death comes with his reunion with Lucrecia's spirt, fading away in her arms to finally join the Lifestream

[c0smoshit]

can I request a Cloud x reader where the whole plot is basically just reader singing to cloud to distract him from his nightmares? Like I have this whole headcanon that reader would sing folk music to him since it reminds him of when he was a kid. Idk just thought it might be cute

Cloud's Lullaby ミ★

⋆ ࣪. ℙ𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 ≫ Cloud Strife/Reader

⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 ≫ fluffy, slight angst (?), nightmares

⋆ ࣪. 𝔸/ℕ ≫ sorry if it's too short I couldn't find more things to add :((

⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥 ≫ 475

Cold sweat trailed from his neck and into his nape. Although he was currently going through a pretty chilly night, it felt as if the sun had decided to stand in for the moon.

His breathing had became uneven, soft snores harshly replaced by ragged breaths. The more his brows furrowed themselves, the more you seemed to be pulled away from your sweet and peaceful rest.

Until he started tossing and turning around, your arid eyes faced the dark wall in front of you.

You let slip out your own breathy sigh, placing your palm on your forehead you turned around. And then you saw him, in a way you wouldn't desire to see him again.

The blanket fell off your left shoulder, walking away from the comfort warmth of the bed you sat down next to him. He initially was facing the ceiling but his sudden burst of energy made him grip the pillow tightly, left cheek pressed against it.

Your hand tried to catch your yawn before it escaped from your lips as you closed briefly your eyes. Looking outside the semi-closed window, you tried to guess the hour, believing it was probably around 2 or 3 am.

Still pretty late to be worrying about tomorrow, right Cloud?

He had already succinctly mentioned this side he had going on at night, time where he should be resting, relaxing after all the stress he faced during the day.

Yet an idea popped into your mind.

Maybe you could help him out for once.

So your legs moved without the need of your anxious but sleepy thoughts, taking away his pillow and pacing his head in between your crossed-legs position.

He groaned a bit at first, but he quickly got used to that new sensation.

You noticed how warm he actually was, scorching flames burning up your fingertips as they traced a path from his cheek and into his hair.

It felt surreal, only if he could let you touch him more.

As words sliped out of your mind they accidentaly traced themselves on your tongue.

Softly humming and whispering, he seemed to get heavier on top of your legs. You were meant to just hold him, but your sweet voice appeared to cool him down.

The more you sang, the more his breathing slowed down, heartbeat almost nonexistent now.

It was almost as if the lifestream itself had whispered into your ear that this was the best idea, fingers grazing gently his front locks. His body shifted lightly and you stopped your ministrations, scared you might have woken him up.

But his eyes remained closed shut, unconciously rubbing for a brief moment his temple into your ankle. You continued singing softly, enjoying how much he had relaxed on top of you.

If only you could hold him like this every night.

[crisiscutie]

Dissidia Kadaj/Dissidia Darling headcanons

As the second main pairing of the Dissidia AU, why not give it some backstory? This is based on Sephiroth and Kadaj's storylines in Opera Omnia! Featuring Aerith/Darling and Sephiroth/Darling.

Content Warning: Long Headcanons

༻❁༺ You were separated from Sephiroth and Seymour after a fearsome battle with the summon Shinryu, lost in the chaos that unfolded after the battle.

༻❁༺ You were found comatose by the Warriors of Materia, your life force hanging by a thread. They were split whether to help you, given your affiliation with Sephiroth and Seymour and from previous clashes you had with the warriors. Some desired your demise, while others had faith in you.

༻❁༺ Your childhood friend, Kieran, vouched for you, saying that you were being manipulated by Sephiroth, just like you were by your father back in your world.

༻❁༺ So they took you back to the World of Light and made sure to keep a vigilant eye on you, with Cloud, Zack, and Tifa taking special care.

༻❁༺ Despite knowing full well about what you've done for Sephiroth, Aerith still volunteered to care for you as you recovered.

༻❁༺ Kadaj wasn't sure how to feel about you. Should it be hatred because you were an ally of Sephiroth? But there was something about you that made him feel closer to home, closer to being whole.

༻❁༺ Aerith also sensed something strange about you. She didn't want to believe it, but the negative energy within you felt familiar to her. She couldn't help but be reminded of JENOVA and Sephiroth's negative lifesteam, all too familiar from her own time in the lifestream.

༻❁༺ She also noticed Kadaj lurking by you as well, little by little. Not to mention, Zack and Cloud always seemed to have headaches and low energy levels, which only furthered her suspicions.

༻❁༺ During the discussion about your situation and Sephiroth's intentions, she stayed quiet, attentively listening to Kieran as he talked his childhood with you and the ability of summoners like yourself to harness energy (normally from crystals) to create celestial beings from other planes of existence.

༻❁༺ Upon hearing this information, concern and fear hung in the air for everyone, leaving Cloud as the only one willing to ask the dreaded question.

༻❁༺ "...If she is to summon JENOVA for Sephiroth, then where is it?" He asked, as everyone became gravely silent. Aerith watched him closely as he raised his hand to his temple afterwards, a subtle grimace of pain on his face..

༻❁༺ Kadaj himself stood in silence, his breath quickening with anticipation. Could it be? Was the long-awaited reunion upon him? His heart thumped against his chest, echoing in his ears. His purpose, at last, acknowledged. But now, faced with her presence, his mind raced. What should he do? What should he say!?

༻❁༺ Aerith already knew the awful answer, but she had prayed that she wasn't right. But now, the mountain of evidence left little room for doubt. "JENOVA is growing inside her," she somberly said, eliciting a few gasps.

༻❁༺ But just as she's nurturing the remnant of the man who killed her in her past life, Aerith firmly believed in your salvation, even when you will become one with the calamity that had wiped out her people. Cloud and Zack were surprised by her determination more than anyone.

༻❁༺ Later on, your childhood friend visited your bedside. He expressed his regrets, as he won't be around when you wake up. He must assist his fellow warriors in another world. Even while unconscious, the sadness still consumed your heart as a single tear fell from your closed eyes when he left the room.

༻❁༺ You stirred in your unconscious state later, as Sephiroth's voice echoed in your mind. "Mother, where are you!?" You grimaced, tossing in your sleep as he spoke more. "You belong with us, darling. Your destiny..." his velvety voice now held hints of a malicious growl.

༻❁༺ Aerith and Kadaj rushed to your bedside as they heard your panted whimpers. The words of Sephiroth (or JENOVA?) intensified, growing louder and more aggressive in your mind. "The Reunion!"

༻❁༺In an instant, your eyes opened, your breathing frantic as you quickly took in your surroundings. Your intense gaze then met Kadaj's, sparks igniting within you as you spoke. "S-Sephiroth?"

༻❁༺ Kadaj's heart sunk in his chest as that name escaped your lips, his slit eyes welling up with tears. That familiar doubt and fear within him resurfaced, gnawing at his insides. Surely, you're still in a stupor? That shouldn't mean that you don't know him or that Mother preferred Sephiroth over him!

༻❁༺ His lips moved, but no sound escaped them. He silently searched for the words he longed to say, but they eluded him. So he stormed out of the room, the door slamming shut behind him.

༻❁༺ Aerith's concerned gaze followed his departure as she promised herself to check on him later. She then redirected her attention towards you with a warm smile.

༻❁༺ "Hey, how are you?" Her voice was tender as she placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. "I'm Aerith, a friend of Kieran's." Your eyes widened at the mention of Kieran's name. "Looks like I have a lot to catch you up on!"

There'll be more!