#「 ██ *◞ YOU HAVE BEEN JUDGED ━ ask *

[captain-astors]

The Crown Prince

[vero-niche]

can i just say how much i adore how Nao-chan's gender is treated so casually in skip to loafer

like, as a white cis woman who is also quite tall and havent read the manga i didnt even realize she was trans until this scene in ep2:

and i didnt even have the time to get nervous how they would handle this as they already moved on, ignoring the comments (just like queer people learn to do so) except for Mitsumi's comforting touch (implying she also heard the comments):

and there were no sad words or anything about this either, it was just handled so.... normally. which should not be something worth highlighting, but, well, you know. also on that note, special shoutout to P.A. Works for casting a woman as her voice actor as well.

she's shown being the supportive and lively aunt and like seconds later in this scene she's back to being her usual self again:

in conclusion

[lokh]

what do you think toshiro's version of laios would've been like if he was still with the group during the shapeshifter shenanigans

there have been a few speculations in the tag and among the fans and they are all very good SO i am going to take this opportunity to insert a bit of my shipping bias as i like in my interpretation LMAO agdsfgdfgv

i noted that in actuality shuro seems to have a very good grasp on laios' character??? this is most obvious in the manga later on but even seeing how he criticises laios in their fight... iirc nothing he says is actually untrue or wildly exaggerated, and while he does express frustration over something he feels like laios Should have control over (noticing his cues), he is also aware that laios isnt being malicious and that hes Just Like That. what i mean to say is that while i think his version of laios may seem more pushy and in-your-face, i dont think it will be overwhelmingly so. if its post-fight, i think the idea of laios (and marcille) being willing to do anything to get falin back made a big impression on him, as well as the idea that they need to eat and rest in order to succeed in their goals, so those aspects would be prominent in his version. he seems pretty observant, so i think for the most part the physical traits would line up, but i think there would be specific things that stand out to him that would appear strangely striking on his version of laios (like. idk something about his eye colour or the subtle contrast of his armour and chainmail. he seems to have a weird sense of aesthetics if extras are anything to go by lmao). if hed actually been paying attention all those times laios had gone on about what the hell ever, then it might be even MORE hard to tell apart his version since he would also have a good grasp on what laios should know. so either his version of laios is pretty difficult to pick out, OR despite the character being accurate his appearance is too. stylised lmao (exaggerated features or something) OR!! they just get him to pull out his monster gourmet guide thing and are able to tell from there. iirc everyone was surprised at its appearance so its possible toshiro had also never seen it before

IN MY IMAGINARY SHIPPING SCENARIO............ lets say that his laios isnt able to be picked out immediately and that the monster guide thing also doesnt immediately occur to anyone. what the real laios Specifically notices is how close this other laios keeps getting to shuro. and hes like. ??? why is he getting so close to him, theres no way i get that close to him??? but no one else seems to be picking up on it as weird, so hes having a small crisis like do i REALLY get that close to him???? and now that hes on the outside he notices shuro subtly leaning away and he feels both a wave of shame and..... protectiveness??? (JEALOUSY??????) and he immediately steps in and grabs him like Hey!!! cant you see hes uncomfortable???? weve been through this already!!! and like. ok i cant believe im doing this again but i need to separate this into different endings

a) the whump route: i dont think shuro ever envisioned Actually Telling laios about his frustrations outside of being basically cornered into it. has he ever spoken up against what was expected of him?? has he ever been confrontational???? i think part of what held him back from expressing his frustrations, along with the cultural norms, could be fear of what the reaction would be. if he had done the same in any other aspect of his life (his family, his inheritance), i think he would expect disappointment, disapproval, more proof that he doesnt add up to expectation. to be honest i dont think he Truly believes that laios is the type of person to react like this. but it was strong enough to prevent him from acting and i think would be projected onto his image of laios. maybe fake!laios says something dismissive like Well if it really bothered him hed say something right? what, he cant even stand up for himself? cmon, shuro, prove that you cant handle it just like everything else. and thats pretty much the fastest giveaway that it isnt really laios. of course this would be a HUGE tonal departure from what the actual episode/chapter was, so:

b) the dumbass route: both laioses break into fisticuffs, and, yes.... barking. and so they speedrun the entire encounter as the shapeshifters true form appears and, after laios points out that thinking too hard about others versions of you can tear apart groups and peace of mind, they pointedly do not speak of it again. they think about it though. a LOT

c) the normal route: both laioses argue normal like and the group ends up being able to tell them apart because the fake laios goes on a little too long about how theyre all here for falin and everyones like ok its not like he DOESNT love his sister but.......... the rest of the scenario probably goes like canon, though then i would want to see what everyone Else thought of shuro

[aroaceleovaldez]

Mark Oshiro confuses me a little bit not going to lie. In the press tour for the first book all they ever talked about was how Nico is their son and Will is fine I guess. Then they said like 2 weeks before TSATS came out that they didn't understand Will's character at all and it's one of the main reasons why Will has so little POV.

Possibly unpopular opinion but I don't think it's a good, encouraging sign when the writer admits to not really caring about the deuteragonist or not even having a sense of how to write them...

Yeah, no. If you have no interest in 1/2 of the POV characters of your book, you REALLY shouldn't be writing it (or at least, not have that be a main character). Especially when the main way TSATS could have been improved is if it was primarily Will-centric instead of Nico-centric. Will basically had next to no established character prior to TSATS! He was practically a blank slate! But all the new stuff we got for Will in TSATS was so clearly disinterested and had no regard for his previously established traits (or the established timeline/canon). Which is annoying because fleshing out Will would have been the PERFECT opportunity to actually incorporate a lot of the topics that Mark Oshiro specializes in as a sensitivity reader, which was the ENTIRE REASON THEY WERE BROUGHT ON AS A CO-AUTHOR!!!!

As TSATS stands, there is no reason for Mark Oshiro specifically to have been the co-author instead of someone else. It's so clearly just a PR move from RR following the huge backlash Rick received due to his response to criticism on how he wrote Piper and Samirah (and Reyna and etc etc). This was immediately following Rick saying he wasn't going to write what would become TSATS because "it [wasn't his] place to." Most of the topics that Mark Oshiro specializes in either weren't relevant at all to TSATS or written very poorly (to downright offensively) in TSATS, so either Mark Oshiro wasn't doing their job or was not able to do their job for some reason, but either way it basically makes the theoretical justification for Mark Oshiro being the co-author/sensitivity reader irrelevant.

With Will, it was HUGE fanon back in the day for him to be trans. Trans!Will and photokinesis!Will were basically the two biggest headcanons for him (both largely popularized by Cherryandsisters). We know Rick is aware of this old fanon because he canonized photokinesis!Will. If we had gotten trans!Will, that would have been great! And then made sense why we specifically got a trans co-author! (Instead, if anything, TSATS canonized Will being cis.) If we had gotten Will being latino, that would have been amazing!!!! And also then made sense as to why they chose Mark Oshiro for the job as a latinx author/sensitivity-reader, versus potentially choosing an Italian co-author since Nico being Italian/Venetian was emphasized so much in the book (and done poorly! Yknow what they could have done to fix that? GOTTEN A SENSITIVITY READER FOR IT)! Based on the themes and focuses actually present in the book, it would have been most logical to get a queer, neurodivergent, Italian co-author or sensitivity reader who specializes in those three topics at least. But we didn't! So why was Mark Oshiro chosen instead when they only specialize in one of those topics? PR reasons. It's blatantly entirely PR reasons and no actual thought or care was put into this book (or, likely, TSATS 2 either).

It doesn't help that we're also actively being told that the published version of TSATS was a rough draft. Or that their editor blatantly isn't doing her job. Or that "The Sun And The Star" was the working title that they just kept cause they didn't bother to make an actual title. And that the final version is full of explicitly last-minute scenes that weren't checked over at all (the final Bianca scene, for one). Or the ACTIVELY ADMITTING TO SOURCING IDEAS AND INFORMATION FROM FANS! That last one is kind of important because at this level of publishing that is a HUGE no-no for legal reasons. You can get into a lot of trouble for that and there is a reason why it is Ye Olde Fandom Law to never try to pitch your ideas or headcanons to the source creator(s) and keep fandom separate from the creators. There is a REASON why Rick Riordan is so distant from the community these days and it's for PROTECTION AGAINST LEGAL REPERCUSSION. Mark Oshiro being the exact opposite while also ACTIVELY ACKNOWLEDGING sourcing concepts from fans does not bode well! It has to do with copyright stuff.

It's just. So. Sighhhhhhhh >->o <- me lying on the floor about all of this. It's sad being able to see the glimmer of what could have been at the very least a decent book underneath all this. If anyone involved in the process had actually cared just the tiniest amount.

[halflifebutawesome]

you used to be such a baby.

[ganondoodle]

okay, bc i have seen this argument alot now (and it also seems to be the view point of aonuma himself..) is that "zelda cant do everything link does bc whats the point then"

and i take personal offense on that bc its a stupid argument (in. my. very. personal. opinion.- not judging people for liking it. its a ME thing)

whats the point? its that its her. its still a different character, different in story, background, personality, but i WANT to play zelda and she can do everything link does, why does she have to be so restricted and be bend over backwards to find some new way to make her 'useful' when link gets to do basically everything no questions asked (the only thing thats hers is like .. sealing power and sacrificial maiden, which i find a little underwhelming to say the least), if theres no point to it why are there always modders that model swap link with someone else, and in that case it has even less impact bc its an artificial model swap with no changes to the story (which can and should still be different when its the vanilla game with a different protagonist... its still a different character), clearly theres joy in just the model being a different one- and that isnt even to mention the story possibilities, since, again, its stil a different character

if we ever (never ... i know who we are talking about here) get to play as ganondorf i want to him to be just as versatile and active as link is, if we got a point and click adventure game for him instead bc 'whats the point' id be disappointed too- you can find any sort of excuse/explanation for zelda to be singled out but the fact remains it tracks with how female characters are often treated, and that hits a very sore spot for me

i guess i am unfortunately one of those annoying people that want to see female characters be treated exactly the same as male characters, possibly bc i am myself afab but identify as agender and have a deeply personal dislike for anything 'traditional' feminine bc i cannot and never will be able to truly live as myself in real life, it influences all of my work, my work is as just as much as my opinion on this, very personal

and in line with my point about modding, i see theres joy in just beign able to play as her even if its like this, i get that, i also get it for the creative aspect (though that mechanic worries me even more for the future bc it really seems to be the path now that -freedom = good, linear anything = bad-) it is a different idea and its not like i cant see that value- im not trying be "right" either, just bc i have that opinion doesnt mean i need everyone to agree, its a very personal thing, if you like it good for you! not for me though, and i think both of that is equally valid

i just personally wish she was allowed to be just like link, fight just like him but be different bc its still her and not him in the end- to be physically/playstyle like jsut like him, but you know ... as her, i dont think shed stop being zelda if she could wield a sword just like him

i dont really know how to get my point/feelings across, i dont want to step too much into personal stuff nor spam people with something that ultimately doesnt interest me alot, im just saddened by it really

(EDIT: bc i forgot to add this on here again; this isnt as much of a problem as it might sound like here, just the main topic i wanted to talk about; why im so uninterested in it is MAINLY bc i dont trust them to write anything interesting/care about lore anymore after totk, im always on the more pessimistic side that thinks its most likely worse than id hope and i know even the past games arent perfect or super interestingly written, but now its much more just a general distrust, together with everything like the price ... im just much less hopeful and cant get excited until i see more of it, like im waiting for the game to get out and reveal that its just as much of a mess and money i regret spending- kind of fear)

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

I love the romances in datv (Neve my Beloved) but I can't get over all the talk about how it'd have the most romantic romances in the series. They aren't bad but most romantic? I wish I didnt go into it with that expectation lol

Oof. Yeah.

My opinion on Veilguard is complicated, but when it comes to the romances...? I feel that, anon. I feel that so damn hard.

The romances are one of my favorite things about a Dragon Age game because it's a choice that can, when done well, completely change your experience playthrough to playthrough, y'know?

And for me there are a handful of romances where if I don't choose them, if I do an alternate playthrough...? I miss them so goddamn much. I miss them enough that I actively struggle to even finish alternate playthroughs. That's how much they've impacted me.

I'll always hold Alistair up as like.... the romance for me. Honestly, I think DAO set the S-tier of romances with him, Leliana, Morrigan, and Zevran as far as writing goes and how interwoven their romances are with the HoF's arc and the plot... they're not just fluff that's tacked on, it's not just, "oh, if you romance them, you get one unique scene toward the end of the game, and some different dialogue!"

I could go on, and on, and on about Alistair and his romance with my Tabris. Hell, even outside of the romance, just their dynamic in the game. Their friendship! I could write essays about the little nuances and how beautiful and tragic his romance can be, and the branching paths, hhhhnnngggggg you can have so many different endings with him!

In DAO, you have many opportunities to flirt. You can give them gifts, and special gifts give you cutscenes where you actually talk about the gift you're giving them. You can set the pace of the relationship. You have different paths you can take and you can discover cute things, like okay.... for Alistair, there's the conversation where he gives you the rose. If you go out with only him in your party, and trigger that, you can get special extra dialogue because you two are alone.

Like... they thought about that. They thought about the player taking just Alistair around somewhere. Why would they? Why would you?

Unless you're roleplaying walking around Redcliffe together to gather supplies to bring back to camp and accidentally talk to him, triggering the scene on the docks.

It's little things like that, special things, that make every playthrough with a different romance feel unique. It feels like the writers put so much thought and care into every situation you'd be in, they thought about how the romance would not only affect your playthrough, but how it'd affect the character you're romancing beyond just... ending the game with a partner.

Hell, it makes you want to replay the game because if this romance was this good, what are the others like? Y'know?

Which is WHY when I heard them make the very bold claim that Veilguard would be the most romantic, I had doubts... because they're competing with Alistair. They're competing with Morrigan, Leliana, and Zevran. Not to mention literally everyone else in DA2 and DAI...... except maybe Sebastian.

If there's one thing I can say about Veilguard's romances, it's that at least they're better than Sebastian's... which is not a high bar because Sebastian's DLC, can only be romanced by a lady Hawke, and from what I've heard/seen of the romance, they don't even get a kiss...

Look, if Veilguard wasn't a Dragon Age game, I'd say the romances are fine, good even... for what they are. Because they do have good moments! They're just lacking, and in some cases, feel unfinished... like there are scenes missing.

I romanced Davrin on my first playthrough, Lucanis on my second. My third playthrough with Carver as Rook is undecided, though I'm thinking either Neve or Bellara.

With Davrin I played an elven Grey Warden, and that really enhanced his romance with me because 1. surprise, surprise, CJ really likes the Grey Wardens and when the opportunity for another Grey Wardens in love story to happen, she picked it, and 2. It felt like Nesryn and him had actual chemistry when talking about warden things, which led into feeling they had chemistry outside of that.

With Lucanis, I played a Lord of Fortune because I thought it'd be kind of funny for this himbo of a man, the literal embodiment of sunshine, to be a pirate who then falls in love with an Antivan Crow. And I have..... feelings. About Lucanis' romance. Especially as someone who also is an Andersmancer. It's good, but also not. It healed parts of me, only to then do more damage when I realized that Lucanis feels like the AO3 version of Anders who is chill and controlled and Justice is also in love with you, actually........ and that brings up conflicted feelings within me.

Looking back at these two now, I prefer Davrin's romance. But the problem with Veilguard's approach to romance, in my opinion, is not just the lack of content. It's not just the feeling that some of the companions have better chemistry with each other than they do with Rook. It's not just the weird pacing of it all.

God, how do I word this.... when I play Tabris, Alistair is crucial to her arc. Absolutely crucial. Remove the slow burn of their romance, or remove their friendship, and she's a completely different person.

When I play Ed Hawke, romancing Anders is interwoven into his arc. The playthrough wouldn't be the same if they remained friends. The impact of the ending would hit entirely different. Then, when I play Aris Hawke, romancing Isabela adds such a different flavor to the story. It's like night and day. And they're both great, that's the thing!

I think Cullen and Josephine are my favorite romances in DAI because they're not traveling companions, they're your advisors. It's different, and it adds layers to their romances. I'm in war table meetings with them. We're leading this operation together, and I find those dynamics so interesting.

In my opinion, the romances do not add anything crucial to Rook's story. At the end of my second playthrough, I wondered if I should bother trying the others out... which is not great!

Though, honestly, a criticism I have of Rook is in both playthroughs I did, they felt like the same character with different skins despite me picking different choices. Different faction, different dialogue.

Carver's run is going a little different but I think that's just my brain filling in those blanks, which.... yeah. I feel like any depth Rook and the romances had was concocted in my mind because the game didn't give me much to chew on.

So even though I did two romances that feel different, Rook remains the same in the end, and like.... that's not something I can say about HoF, Hawke, or the Inquisitor.

There's always going to be headcanon and personal writing when it comes to DA, that's how fandom works, y'know? But unlike the previous games, this actively feels unfinished, and like it expects me to finish it for them.

Yes, you get cute, flirty banter with them, and you get the scene where they go to your room... and from what I've heard Emmrich actually gets a bonus scene so like good for him.

I mean that genuinely, too. Seriously, good for him to be the standout of having an extra, romance specific scene. I haven't seen anyone mention any of the other companions getting one.

But do I feel like the romances impacted Rook to the same level of depth? No, unfortunately. And it sucks! Because I do enjoy the companions! And the bits we do get of the romances, I like!

But do not try to tell me they're the most romantic in the series because they're not, I'm so sorry. I want them to be! I want them to feel fleshed out and interwoven with Rook's arc within the actual game, and not through headcanon! I see the potential, I see the intrigue of certain Rooks with certain companions!

I could go on and on about this, and I will if anyone else asks, but yeah, anon.... I feel you.

Also, I'd like to hear other opinions on this since I've only done two of the romances, so maybe there is more depth to be found that I just don't know about. Maybe I haven't found my golden combo yet.

Plus, I just like reading about other people's experiences with DA romances, I find it super interesting.

[marclef]

okay so uhhh. definitely wasn't expecting this any time soon. or ever. but unless my tumblr has been lying to me for 3 days straight then i guess it happened.

uhhhhh. thanks for 700 followers bros 👁👁💧

like. i didn't even see my tumblr get to 400. unless i've been hallucinating that it's been at 300 for the last month. am i going insane? maybe. but uhhh. that's a lot of people looking at me. kinda freaking me out a little. but thanks regardless i guys, it does mean a lot to me ✨❤❤❤✨

anyways. i die. nervous. some various rambling under the cut and in the tags but here's an artistic rendition of how i feel right now. enjoy.

so yeah. i don't know how the hell my follower count has doubled in like, two months. maybe it's the Fake Peppino Hugs? a lot of people have been wanting hugs after all. it uhhhh kinda makes me feel weird knowing there's this many of you. but i'll try to manage.

speaking of hugs, yes i've seen the new asks and requests in my inbox i promise!! i will get to them when i can, but for now i'm gonna try to focus on getting a couple other big important things done. mainly, a large Fake Peppino headcanon-related post i've been planning, and getting a few more characters up on Artfight before July.

and also.... i might be getting commissions up soon too?? i don't know how soon, but it'd be a way for me to get income right now since i don't have a job. or, if you don't wanna commission me but still wanna show support, i have a link to me Ko-Fi on my intro post as well! really any support is welcome, but i'm trying to figure out how to do commissions and pricing and stuff since it'll be the first time i *officially* do them. i hope you'll think about it though!!

but yeah, i've got a good few things i've gotta get done with, i'm trying to take things a liiiiittle slow right now though so i don't burn myself out fully. i will try to get stuff done soon though! expect that big Fakey post in maybe a week or so, and i'll update you all on other things that happen as well!

thanks for reading if you have, love ya's ❤❤💗💗💗❤❤

[kirkwallguy]

if some parts in veilguard feels like "as a game i'm trying to explain you like you're 6 years old" it may be because devs and writers are real people who uses social media, and likely witness all the dead media literacy, nuance grasping, and fandomification of things (every single thing described in whatever adjective and tropes). Putting effort onto writing something be it a story or character and seeing it getting slandered again and again despite context and meaning being there so they just went like "aight that's it"

well i think "people are too stupid to understand our writing" is a terrible mindset to write from lol. where would we be if any good art came from the mindset that your audience were idiots?

dead media literacy has always existed, i think it's probably more common now due to how shit mainstream media is but it's also just more noticeable because of how algorithms work - ten years ago if a teenager said they only read books for romance and skip paragraphs to get to the good bits it would've been confined to their tumblr blog and only reach their likeminded followers, now they'll reach anyone who the algorithm thinks will get pissed off enough to feed engagement across multiple social media platforms. if a writer gives up on writing smart and complex narratives / dialogue just because they were disheartened by the viral ragebait tiktok teen, maybe they were the one with poor media literacy all along ngl

[lookinghalfacorpse]

oc'ifying some dsmp characters to draw them without shame or harassment and i decided to make c!sam a hot old man and got so horny i had to lie down

AHAHAHFHAHFAHHA BRO

csam has a sort of Old Man Burdened With Duty sort of vibe to him i totally see how this could work

[psychicthepsychic-daily]

i don't think they would be very impressed lmao

[wonder-worker]

During [the spring and summer of 1141], a number of contemporary narrative sources agreed that Matilda’s sudden and unexpected success went straight to her head. Matilda’s most renowned modern biographer has suggested that “conduct acceptable in a powerful king . . . was not acceptable in a ‘Lady of the English’. This line of reasoning can be taken quite a bit further. It is clear that contemporaries expected Matilda to emulate the behavior of those women who had previously held the rank of regina, and act like a queen consort while performing the office of king. Most queens consort, however, did not have to consolidate recognition of their position as Matilda was constrained to do. Nearly all the chroniclers who had marveled at her assumption of power turned on her immediately. Not surprisingly, the Gesta Stephani took the greatest exception:

She at once put on an extremely arrogant demeanor instead of the modest gait and bearing proper to the gentle sex, began to walk and speak and do all things more stiffly and more haughtily than she had been wont.

But other more sympathetic chroniclers also joined this chorus of disapproval: Henry of Huntington described her as “elated with insufferable pride” while the Worcester chronicler noted her “hard heart” as she strove to consolidate her position. Had she been a man, Matilda’s decidedly authoritarian style might have passed for a regal show of strength. Indeed, Matilda probably felt that if she was to hold on to her newly acquired status, she needed to behave like a king. Thus, Matilda’s forward movement from recognition of her status to the execution of her office was fraught with gendered difficulties concerning how a woman ought to conduct herself.

...As she anticipated her crowning, Matilda strove to consolidate her dynastic claims and establish her authority. It seems reasonable to suppose that Matilda looked to her father and her first husband for examples of successful kingship as she did for representational purposes. Both Emperor Henry V and King Henry I were suspicious, uncompromising, relentless, and ruthless in the pursuit of their aims. Probably both would have advised Matilda to follow their example. This was exactly what St. Bernard told Queen Melisende of Jerusalem following the death of her husband: “show the man in the woman; order all things . . . so that those who see you will judge your works to be those of a king rather than a queen.” Much of Matilda’s behavior during the spring and summer of 1141 can be explained as the emulation of male gendered kingship. But kings had the built-in advantage of female consorts to soften the more hardboiled aspects of their rule; Matilda had played that very role herself for her first husband. Nevertheless, in 1141, Matilda eschewed the feminine aspects of queenship completely, in effect negating what could have been useful symbolism to bolster the construction of her authority. But for Matilda to be perceived as a soft, forgiving, and gentle woman at the one moment she needed to consolidate her position at the top of a male dominant political society would not have been practical.

But by constructing herself as a female feudal lord, and emulating male gendered kingship, Matilda annoyed contemporary observers. The chroniclers’ hostility may have been due to the fact that Matilda was claiming kingly sovereignty for herself alone, and not in association with either her husband or her eldest son. The Gesta Stephani described Matilda as not only arrogant, but also spurning the advice of her chief advisors, the earl of Gloucester, her uncle King David of Scotland, and the “kingmaker” himself, the Bishop of Winchester. The Gesta implied that if Matilda had behaved as a deferential woman, and heeded the counsel of her male advisors, she could have devised a means to permanently depose Stephen, and be crowned and anointed in his place. The Gesta placed Matilda’s ultimate failure at her own door, blaming it on her arrogant reliance on her inferior, womanly intellect and emotions.

Matilda’s hard-line stance, acceptable in a male king, bothered the authors of the Worcester chronicle and the Gesta, suggesting that contemporaries were confused by what they wanted the “Lady of the English” to do, indicating that, as a woman and a domina, she should behave gently like a queen rather than forcefully like a king. Combined, all the chroniclers, with the exception of Malmesbury, suggested that Matilda should have used the intercessory powers of queenship to set Stephen free, moderated the harsher aspects of her father’s rule, and excused the Londoners from financial support. Although a more diplomatic approach might have helped, freeing Stephen at that moment in time would have realistically served no practical purpose in establishing Matilda’s authority. And, in denying Eustace his inheritance, Matilda was only imitating the efforts of her father, Henry I, who also dealt harshly with challengers to his throne. Henry I kept his elder brother Robert Curthose in prison until he died, and prevented his nephew, William Clito, Curthose’s heir, from gaining any aspect of the Anglo-Norman inheritance. Matilda wished to convince her contemporaries that she was quite capable of being a king, but their reactions betrayed hostility toward her as a woman presuming to establish kingly authority.

-Charles Beem, "Empress Matilda and Female Lordship", The Lioness Roared: The Problems of Female Rule in English History"

[ceramicbeetle]

actually it's kind of funny how people will say Alex's fatal flaw is that he 'doesn't ask for help' and that it's his determination to handle things on his own that leads to his deterioration and eventual death when his whole introduction to the present-day timeline was a very literal cry for help that simply went ignored

[edge-oftheworld]

I don’t really talk about it much on here because I’m extremely lucky to be able to understand exactly what’s going on in my body, but it’s scary to live for years as someone who Gets Things Done in a way your peers don’t really understand, be putting effort into so many things you care about, and then suddenly lose the ability to do not only that but also basic tasks overnight after a deadline, and bit by bit after many. it’s scary getting really irritable sometimes to the point of violence, just when you were meant to be celebrating the rewards from your hard work, the only impact of the work you did that you can see is that you overdrafted your ability to do anything. including have a basic conversation without getting grumpy or crying. and your body is going to make you pay it back with interest, you already know that, but you don’t know how to start filling yourself back up. you’ve only ever enjoyed being on the grind, hard at work on exciting things.

I don’t know how many of you have been through the kind of burnout that’s years of needing 12hrs of sleep a night but with terrible insomnia, waking up to what feels like a hangover for weeks on end with little relief then rinse and repeat without having a single drink, feeling too sick to eat and needing to exercise to emotionally regulate but being unable to, anxiety that doesn’t come from worry but you’ll pick that up too at some point, dissociating every time you try to do mentally taxing tasks that you’re PAID for so it takes an hour of grounding yourself just to get five minutes worth of productive concentration, falling asleep the minute you feel a little safe by being in the presence of loved ones. but I suspect I’m not the only one.

I’ve had songs for the energetic and angsty times leading up to this. for the exasperated times and the brain fog and the times where all my limited energy is tied up in feeling things. that I need to, need to acknowledge, but it’s overwhelming and I live in a haze for weeks as a result of. songs telling of the kind of youth I wish I had, even when I was sold something else. songs for the months spent as a teenager trying to be there for my friends, worrying for them, distracting me from worrying for myself, trying to cling on to positivity and hope amongst it when I had to choose to make a discipline of always seeing that. I’ve had songs for healing and when healing is harder than expected and songs that have the right level of musical complexity to capture the layers of everything that’s happening in my head, making it sound good, telling me it’s gonna be okay.

I don’t know how I could ever say thank you for this. but I do know that I see parts of myself in the people behind these songs, of course I do, and I worry for them as a result and ache for them because it’s hard enough to feel this way when no one knows me or feels the need to control me or mould me into what they think I should be. I’d do anything to keep them all healthy and happy and all of their loved ones too and I don’t think it’s strange as a fan to take that seriously. I hope we can understand the need to treat them gently, and to while not questioning their privacy and the fact that they’re never going to tell us everything they go through, listen to our intuition when we catch something we relate to and treat what they’ve shared with us or hinted at with the dignity we would if someone we love told us something vulnerable. be kind in our expectations and be intentional in the fan culture we create because it does make its way back to them.

and the same goes with all of you. we’re bonding over the same things. I know a lot of this fandom is in the stage where interpersonal relationships are hard. we don’t mean to be grumpy of frustrated but we are. and I’m sending love to all of you. we can get through this together. it’s what they’ve always longed for isn’t it?

[eskawrites]

4 (for the drabble asks)

4. "I'm sorry I'm not who you thought I was."

Hopper's cabin makes a surprisingly secure prison. Nancy walks the perimeter just for something to do, just to put off going inside. The windows are boarded up. Trip wires cover every path. She can't even tell where the cameras are hidden, even though she knows vaguely where they are.

It's nothing compared to the inside, where Hopper and Murray and Jonathan and El have been taking watch in turns. Where El's old bedroom has been reinforced and stripped bare save for a chair and zip ties and a set of handcuffs.

"They're hurting her," Steve had said on that first day, when Robin's pained cry had echoed through the house as Hopper bound her to the chair and started demanding answers.

"She hurt us," was all Nancy had said.

It's been a week. The routine set in painfully fast. Joyce makes a plate for Robin with every meal, but only Hopper is in there when she eats with one unbound hand. Two bathroom breaks a day. Robin barely drinks the water they give her anyway.

They've all tried asking questions. Hopper with his gruff anger and paper thin patience. Joyce with her soft touch, her pleas, her gentle reminders about how much they've all cared for Robin over the past year. Steve with his quiet words, his silent language only he and Robin know.

Dustin with his relentless, tearful optimism. Erica and Max with their betrayal, their bitter hurt. Even El, probing into her mind until both she and Robin have nosebleeds. But the only thing they've learned is what they already knew. What Hopper told them the second he was back in Hawkins, returned from the dead.

"The girl," he'd said the second he pulled away from El's tearful hug. "Buckley. She's working for them."

And just like that, eight months of Nancy's life had come crumbling down around her. All those movie nights where Robin would save a spot on the couch for her, all those nightmares she woke up from only to find herself in Robin's arms. All the quiet moments, the soft, lingering looks, the gentle touches. The time Nancy had been brave enough to push up on her toes and press her lips to Robin's, and all the times she's been able to do it again and again since then. All of it meant nothing. A lie. An act. A means to an end. As fake and empty as the Robin Buckley she knew and loved.

"Wheeler," comes Hopper's heavy voice from behind her. Nancy closes her eyes, but she turns around. "We need you."

Everyone has tried asking questions. Everyone but her.

"What do you expect me to do?" It's harsh and defensive from the start. "I fell for her lies for a year. You think I can get the truth from her now?"

He sighs. His eyes are surprisingly gentle as he turns and gestures toward the front of the house.

"Just try."

She doesn't want to try. She doesn't want to go in there. She doesn't want to see Robin like this. She doesn't want to see Robin ever again.

But though Hopper's gaze is understanding, it's still stern. Nancy sets her jaw and starts trudging toward the door, Hopper falling into step beside her.

She starts to doubt herself again once they're inside. She ignores everyone's eyes as she passes through the living room. She keeps her head up as she and Hopper head down the hall. But once she's outside the door, she falters. She just stands there, staring at it. Robin has been so quiet since that first day. If Nancy didn't know any better, she'd think she wasn't even in there anymore.

"She's been asking for you," Hopper says beside her. Nancy sucks in a breath, reeling from the words.

"Why?"

He doesn't say anything, just pats her shoulder and pushes her slightly toward the door.

Nancy takes a breath and steps inside.

The room is cold. Bare. Not as harsh and sterile as Steve has described the Russian bunker to be, but as close as they can get in a little cabin in the woods.

But the worst part is Robin sitting in the center. Her head is tilted back, hanging off the back of the chair, but she pulls herself up as she hears the door close behind Nancy.

Her eyes widen. She mouths Nancy's name, but she doesn't actually say anything.

There's a bruise on her jaw. Her hair is messy, but it isn't dirty. Nancy wonders vaguely if Joyce has been washing it.

Nancy leans back against the door. She watches Robin swallow.

"You came," she whispers. Her voice is soft, barely even there, the same beautiful, rough sound Nancy has reveled in for months.

Nancy glares just so she doesn't cry. "What do you want?"

"Nothing." Robin tries to shrug, but she can't really move her shoulders. It's a clumsy, silly move. Nancy hates it.

"Bullshit. Hopper said you asked for me. Why?"

"I wanted to see you. That's all."

"Why?"

She frowns. "Because I miss you."

"Please," Nancy spits. "What do you actually want?"

"I'm telling the truth, Nance."

"When have you ever told the truth?"

Robin winces. She drops her gaze. "I'm sorry."

"Don't bother. I don't care."

"I do, though." Robin looks up at her again, a plea in her eyes, and Nancy hates that, too. "I care. I never wanted to--but I couldn't--Nance--"

"Don't fucking call me that."

"I'm sorry," Robin says again. "I'm sorry I lied. I'm sorry I hurt you. I--I'm sorry I'm not who you thought I was."

Nancy closes her eyes, unable to see her earnest gaze. She wants to cover her ears, too, to shut out Robin's awful, honest voice.

Because that's just the problem. She is who Nancy thought she was. She can see it in the regret in Robin's eyes, hear it in the love hanging heavy in her voice, even now.

"Why?" she whispers.

"Because I just am. I never wanted to hurt you, not for anything."

"No," says Nancy. "Why did you do it?"

Robin looks away. "Because they told me to."

"That's it?"

"It's all I've ever known," she says, her voice sharper now. But her eyes are soft when she meets Nancy's gaze again. "But I never thought--I didn't know--it all changed, Nancy. I didn't want to keep helping them."

"But you did."

"I had no choice." She leans forward, straining toward Nancy, her voice rough and desperate. "They would've hurt me--and then they would've hurt you, all of you, because they'd know I care about you."

"Stop lying!" Nancy surges forward. She can't push Robin far, not without tipping the whole chair, but she hits her shoulders anyway, shoving her back in her chair.

"I'm not," Robin breathes. She's still beneath her, pliant and waiting for whatever Nancy will do to her. "I promise I'm not."

"You lied. You let us all believe you were someone else. You made Steve think you were his best friend. You made the kids trust you. You--you made me believe you loved me--"

"You made me love you," Robin whispers. "I tried not to. I told myself it was too dangerous. But I couldn't help it."

"I hate you."

"You should."

"Stop. Just stop. I fucking hate you."

"I know."

"I hate that I still love you."

Robin just watches her helplessly, tears in her eyes. Nancy wishes she could hate her. She takes a breath and turns away, crossing her arms tightly over her chest.

After a moment, she says, "Who hit you?"

She looks over her shoulder in time to see Robin working her jaw.

"Hopper. But in his defense, I was putting up a fight."

"Why?"

"I thought if I could get away, you wouldn't have to deal with this."

"You should've thought of that sooner."

"I did. Every day. But I could never bring myself to run."

"Coward."

"Selfish," Robin corrects her. "For not letting you go. Any of you."

Nancy grits her teeth. "So what now?"

"I think that's up to you, Nance."

She shakes her head. It can't be up to her. She can't do this. She looks at Robin again, but she turns away quickly before she can really see her. She opens her mouth to say something, but anything she can think of is far too dangerous.

So she turns on her heel and walks toward the door instead. She knocks on it, and a moment later Hopper opens it. He looks at her questioningly, but Nancy brushes past him and just keeps walking.

[softquietsteadylove]

I have an idea for the lawyer au. Inspiration from Boston legal season 8 episode 9.

A girl, make her young like sprite, comes to Gil one day and asks if he is a lawyer and if he can help her. Gil thinking she is being a kid jokingly asks how much money she has and when she answers 10 bucks her father comes and wants to take her with her. But she holds onto Gil and says please help me, if I go back to Poland they’ll force me to marry a man in this country. in this moment he realizes it’s a serious matter and protects the girl. At the end of this case it’s a very depressing situation for him. Thena is there to gently lift him up

Im sure you’ll manage to do something with it

"Gil."

Gil didn't even pick his head up. He was all but sleeping in his mug of guinness. "Gil's not here."

Thena didn't let him get away with it. She did pat his shoulder with some sense of pity for him. "Come on, Gil. It's well past midnight and you have another court date tomorrow."

He groaned at even the mention of going into court again. He didn't know if he had it in him after his day today. "I'm not going back there."

Thena shuffled her purse on her shoulder and perched herself on the stool next to his. "You don't mean that."

"I do," he huffed, pushing the goblet away with distaste. All he could smell was the thick, sweet stench of it. "And I should have punched that judge in the face."

"It wouldn't have changed the ruling," she pointed out in a very Thena way. "Unless you want to be barred from practising law for a year, if not the rest of your life."

He shrugged. He wasn't sure how he felt about the law after today. He had always thought he was on the side of the good guys, as cliche as it sounded. Sure, the law was far from perfect, but he really thought he was doing some good with his job.

"You did everything you could for that girl, Gil."

He scoffed and rubbed his eyes. The dim lighting and loud music of the bar were making his vision blurry, and all he could taste in the back of his throat was cheap beer. "Is that what you call letting her get shipped back to Poland to get married to some old creep?"

She was a kid, no older than Sprite. It was a sickening 'case', no matter how sudden or pro bono it had been. She had even offered to pay with the only 10 dollars to her name, kept safe inside the birthday card it came in and everything. But none of it had done any good.

"We don't win every case, Gil."

"Well, you'd think this one would matter more!"

A few heads turned. He had been quietly sulking at the bar for hours, by this point, enough beers in that the bartender was beginning to eye him every time he asked for another.

Thena didn't even flinch.

Gil groaned again, scrubbing his face with his hands even though he'd been touching the bar that was cleaned only god knew when. He sighed, "I'm sorry."

But she understood his outburst, maybe even condoned it. "It's okay. I can't say I blame you for coming here and burying it under...how many is it now?"

More than he wanted to admit to. So, instead, he ruffled his hair and attempted to pull himself up in his seat with some dignity. "Doesn't matter. I'm pretty sure he's cut me off quietly anyway."

The bartender turned around, ears already burning and a towel slung over his shoulder. "Time to pay up, Boston Legal?"

"Very funny," Gil snarled at him. He knew it wasn't this guy's fault he'd had the worst day of his entire career, but that didn't mean he was in any mood for it. He slapped his hands over his jacket, his rumpled tie and then his suit pockets. "Shit."

"Oh come on, man, you're a lawyer, I know you've got-"

"It's okay, I'll pay it," Thena held her hand up, already reaching into her purse.

"Fuck," Gil cursed, hanging his head (as if he needed any more reason to be ashamed of himself tonight). He misjudged the distance, even knocking his forehead against the counter edge. Maybe it would be a little sobering, if he was lucky. "Thena, you don't have to-"

"It's okay," she assured him yet again, but she was still sounding more like 'work' Thena than the Thena had come to know and prefer.

Gil watched as the bartender took her card to close out his tab. He couldn't get any more pathetic anyway--what was a little more humiliation? "What are you doing here? Are the girls okay?"

Thena finally smiled at him, and it was the real Thena he saw, no matter how blurry. "They both asked to have sleepovers tonight. It's rare, but tomorrow is a half day at school, so I dropped them both off. When I asked how you were, the response wasn't all that clear, so I figured I would try here."

Gil made a face. He didn't remember talking with her. He felt around again for his phone, which he didn't so much pull out as clumsily drop it onto the bar. He blinked a few times, really trying to focus on reading his messages.

She had texted him, asking if he was doing okay and where he was. His response was a jumbled mess, but he unfortunately could make out something resembling him telling her that he was going to drown himself in beer and that she could join if she wanted.

He couldn't even remember reading, let alone responding to it. He really did need to be cut off for the night. He wasn't young and in college anymore--he would probably have a hell of a hangover tomorrow morning (afternoon).

Thena nodded as her card was handed back to her, Gil's debt settled. She turned back to him, "think you can walk?"

He grumbled. If he wasn't already, he would flush with guilt at the insinuation. "I'm not that bad, Thena, really."

She was kind to say nothing about him wobbling a little as he got up at first. But he made it to the door easily enough with her behind him. Maybe he did need a little hand on his back, but as soon as he was out in the cold night air it was at least a little better.

Thena pulled her jacket tighter around herself. She should have been at home, relaxing during her kid-free-evening. She could have been curled up reading or watching that funny ghost show she liked with a glass of wine or a mug of tea or something. Instead, she was picking up his drunk ass from a dive bar a block away from work.

"I'm sorry, Thena," he began apologizing, for the first time of many, he told himself. He owed her plenty more, and that was beyond his bar tab, which he would pay back with interest, too. "I just...that kid-"

He pushed his nose deeper into the soft material of her white turtleneck. The cotton or cashmere or whatever it was soaked up his tears. "She was just a kid."

Thena probably didn't consider herself a hugger, but she gave really nice ones. She was really gentle, and soft, and even if she was small boned, she still felt warm. Even in her boots, she was up on her toes just slightly to wrap her arms around his neck, pulling his face into her shoulder. "I know it's terrible. But you did everything you could, and we're just going to have to live with that."

"I know." Thena did know--she had sat in for the final leg of his plea. She had witnessed his loss and she had been the one to restrain him from mouthing off to the judge presiding and possibly losing his license. "It's not fair."

"What are we doing?" he asked, even hiccuping faintly as he closed his arms around her as well. He was a mess, probably stank of beer, and he shouldn't have been here in the first place. But he melted into Thena's good graces, letting her absorb some of his misery for him. "What good is any of this if I couldn't protect her?"

"That wasn't your job today," Thena whispered to him, and it felt as if it was right next to his ear. "Your job was to argue for her in her place, and you did that. You fought with all you had. But the law wasn't on our side, today. And there will be more days like this."

He knew that. He'd had hard cases before, lost cases before. But never anything like this. He'd had his faith in the judicial system and the court system and the social work system waver before--it came with the job. But now he wasn't sure how he was ever supposed to go back to work again.

"You lost a case, and it's never easy. But what that girl's parents are enforcing is not your fault."

It sure fucking felt like it was. Gil could still remember the look on the kid's face as it sunk in that it really was over, that they had lost and that her parents had every right to drag her back with them. He had handed her back the card with her birthday money in it, unable to accept it after their defeat.

"Come on," Thena leaned back, putting a hand on his cheek, probably checking his eyes to see if he was sober enough to make it back to his car. If she even called him an uber and watched him slump himself into it, it would already be more than he deserved.

"Yeah," he cleared his throat, swallowing the lump in it. He looked around the parking lot, increasingly empty by this time on a work night. "I, uh, left my car back at work. It's probably where my wallet is, a-actually. I should-"

"We can get it tomorrow, Gil," she cooed in that melodic voice of hers. She insisted it was like cold, hard ice, but he thought it was gentle and elegant, like a curtain dancing in a window.

"I've gotta get home," he all but whimpered. What a wet blanket he was being, but whatever. He pulled out his phone again, attempting to find an uber she could toss him into and be rid of him.

"I know, come on," Thena pulled at his arm gently. And when he stumbled anyway she leaned closer, letting him rest his big, meaty shoulder against her little one. "I'll get you home."

He just stared. She looked really pretty in the streetlight glow, all blurry at the edges like it was a dream sequence in a movie. "You didn't have to come and get me."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Was I to leave you drowning in your beer?"

It would be a fitting end, at least. But he shrugged, leaning on her as little as he could afford as they made their way to her car. "You shouldn't have to deal with the aftermath of my shit."

But she shouldered him easily, getting him to the passenger door first and unlocking it with her fob. "We have the same job, Gil. Same job, same shit--I know what it's like to want to dive head first into a pool of cheap wine coolers and forget everything we've ever learned."

But she didn't, that was the difference. Because Thena had other obligations and responsibilities. And took them seriously, unlike how he had come over here without even his wallet somehow.

Gil leaned against the top of the car before letting her elbow him in. She was supporting him under his other arm, tucked into his side. He would rather be supporting her, like he had after she broke her arm. "Thanks, Thena--even if you're seeing me make a huge ass out of myself."

She gave him a really sweet smile as she separated herself from him at last, letting him get into the car seat. "Quite impossible."

She even closed the door for him, being a real gentleman to his drunk ass. Gil crossed his arms, tilting his head as he looked out her windshield. "I don't think that's true."

But she climbed into the driver's seat without a word, not wasting any time as she began backing out. "I've only picked you up a few times, but I believe I remember the way."

"You'll be fine," he murmured, still with a slight slur to his words. He would let her go and if he really had to correct her, he would. "Just look for a depressing bachelor complex and I'll be on the left."

Thena let out a laugh, which added at least some levity to the night.

She had a cute laugh. He looked at her again, although hopefully with her focused on the road she would just think he had a sore neck or something. "Y'know, maybe we should change firms."

"What makes you say that?"

He shrugged, his eyes getting fuzzy again. He was tired. "I mean, we're not allowed to do any pro bono work, which sucks. I know it's a small firm but come on."

"I do agree with you on that one," she muttered quietly. She could act all 'ice queen' if she wanted to, he knew she also had a soft spot for the kids they ended up working with.

"And the guys at the office," Gil made another face, but Thena was driving so she couldn't appreciate how funny it was. He made a noise to accompany it. "I don't like the way they look at you."

Thena didn't answer for a few minutes, probably trying to actually focus and navigate amidst his yapping. "I didn't think you noticed."

He blew a a raspberry, although with his dry lips it really sounded more like a wet fart. "Please, those pigs think they're being subtle when they look at you like--well, they're not, is what I'm getting at. And they wonder why I don't like them."

Thena let out a faint laugh again as she made a turn. She was driving a little slowly, but that was probably because she was afraid she would jerk him around too much and risk him hurling on her nice off-white interior. "I figured you were just too nice for their crass tastes in drinking buddies."

"Not disgusting enough, more like," Gil huffed again. He had to reel himself in and keep from divulging anything else. He didn't ever want to have to repeat to Thena the kind of language he'd heard them use to refer to her when they thought no one was listening.

And it didn't matter how many times he told them not to talk about her like that. All it ever did was get them convinced he was sleeping with her and beg him to tell them all about it.

"You would leave the firm just because of them?"

He slumped down further in his seat. He wasn't paying nearly enough attention to direct Thena if needed, but it was kind of nice just being in the car with her. Just them, a quiet drive, not even Sersi or Sprite or the loud, bouncy pop they liked to listen to between them.

Well, he did like some of the music they made him listen to.

"It wouldn't be just for that reason, there are more," he sufficed to say. But then he dragged himself up again and looked at her. "But I wouldn't leave without you."

Thena, driving, spared him a quick glance. She seemed surprised. "You wouldn't?"

"Of course not," he scoffed more lightly this time. Because that question was actually funny. "If anything, you're the reason I stayed past my probation period."

He wasn't supposed to tell her that. Well, he hadn't wanted to admit it to her, and certainly not like this. Whoops.

"Well," Thena began as they pulled into the parking lot of his building (unfortunately). Her voice really was like a lullaby. He had to wonder if he would even make it inside, at this rate. "If you decide to leave...then so will I."