#❝ inner thoughts ❞ musings

[crwlingchaos]

tags

[humbuginmybones]

When Reverend Jen of Fundie Fridays said "I love the girly aesthetic, but I'm not sure about my gander." I was like, holy shit, that explains my gender identity.

(I don't know if anyone who follows my blog watches the YouTube channel Fundie Fridays, but go do that!)

As someone who was born with the sex female, accepts she/her pronouns, enjoys makeup and feminine clothes, and loves to use tags like 'tumblr girl' or 'girlblogging', 'girlrotting', etc. Yet, identifies as Genderqueer... And tries to feel the freedom, that's really emblematic of my own journey. It's hard, and gender is such a spectrum, with so many words to describe it - God, I know this is only the beginning of the language to describe my identity.

Thanks for reading!

[glass-strawberries]

simple wish

to feel the flowers

touch the grass

smell the air

breeze on past

to keep a promise

mend a heart

obtain a love

play a part

to stay awake

save your tears

obey, oblige 

face your fears

a brave soul

a single kiss

a daring mind 

a simple wish

[indigoraysoflight]

Incorrect Caryl inner monologue - 11x20, What's been lost.

I wanted to do a lighthearted one (+ all the gifs by the illustrious @mcbride )

Now they were definitely thinking about saving the kids during these scenes. And it obviously never crossed their minds just how well they worked together and how hot it was. It definitely 100% never crossed their minds. All of us just invented the sexual tension in these scenes, right. RIGHT? 👀

~

Carol, internally: I'm close enough to feel his breath on my face. His lips look a bit chapped. Ok, he's really hot right now, and I'm kinda turned on. Maybe... I don't stop him. NO WAIT TORTURE IS WRONG. Daryl, stop that.

Daryl, internally: I wanna punch this asshole, but I can't when she's touchin' me and lookin' at me like that. Did her eyes just flick to my lips? My heart's beating faster because of adrenaline, definitely. Don't look, that's how them impossibly blue eyes getchya.

__________________________________________

Daryl, internally: Did she just womanhandle me? Yeah, she pushed me away. If she thinks I'm gonna let her push me around like that... she's right. Damn straight I am. My wife Carol's such a badass.

Carol, internally: ok, that's the first time I've touched him in a bit. That's ok, that's fine. It's just his pecs, Carol. You've felt them before. On your face when he wraps you in his arms. Damn it, Carol. Focus on the torture.

__________________________________________

Carol, internally: This is weird. I don't know how to be a good cop. Daryl, don't look at me like that it's distracting. I wanna stab his face. Can I stab his face?

Daryl, internally: *sigh* She's so hot when she gets all quiet and stabby. I'm not turned on. But Carol, torture is wrong... Keep going.

__________________________________________

Daryl, internally: Please be safe. I'll find you. But if I die here, I want yours to be the last face I see. 'Cause I love you.

Carol, internally: Then please don't die. Be safe and come back. Please just come back to me. Find me. I'll be waiting. Because I love you.

__________________________________________

Carol, internally: You're safe. You're alive. You're here. I love you. You came back to me. You found me.

Daryl internally: You're safe. You're alive. You're here. You're beautiful. I love you. You waited for me.

__________________________________________

Daryl, internally: I just wanna hold her so badly. But we're not there yet, and we got company. Fuckin' Lance. DARYL, BE COOL. Just do your cool strut so she can't tell how much you wanna hold her and kiss her right now.

Carol, internally: ok he's doing that cool strut again. My heart is beating faster because of the adrenaline, obviously. Would it be weird if I tripped and fell into his arms for a quick second or... hour? REEL IT IN CAROL, you've got an audience. Fuckin' Lance.

__________________________________________

+ Bonus

Daryl, internally: Hey Lance. Get fucked. A'right I needta NOT think about "gettin' fucked" when I'm near her.

Carol, internally: K Lance, party's over. My husband Daryl's home. Time to fuckin' die. Nope. Can't think about "fucking" when I'm near him.

[nocturneblight]

Isn’t it so much better to overly enjoy something rather than hate? Yeah sure, it’s annoying to some folks when you blabber on and on over whatever series or thing you adore is about but like, That’s literal proof that your enjoying existence, I think that’s quite rare honestly. When’s the last time you scrolled social media without seeing someone complain or jest about how terrible life is? It seems more and more lose sight of what they hold dear the more life progresses, so absolutely, with all your meaning. Enjoy what you like, be ridiculously overt with your enthusiasm, if you make yourself happy then dude, You don’t need to focus on what others think of you, Your winning the game of life itself! Doing a feat that absurd amounts of other humans can’t do!

[astrxlfinale]

He may be batting his eyelashes respectfully at Arbiter general Feixiao. That technique, swift as the momentarily flicker before lightning strikes. Only for it to lead to such a tempest, a brilliant dance of steel lost within a realm of swift strikes, the mere noise of contacting weapons sparking well beyond the appointed time of contact.

How there seems to be a spirit that thrives within the fight. Just seeing them be all fangs in the midst of friendly altercation, vicious and free..

Oh be still his heart.

"I'd take them on anyday.."

@everlastiingiimmortals

[indigolover97]

Whenever I feel guilty about working on a new WIP instead of the 20-ish ones I already have, I remind myself that writing something is better than nothing and that writing the new idea might spark inspiration to continue one of my older ones.

And also there’s an audience for just about everything you write, so might as well dip your toes in everything!

[gu6chan]

you have my blessing to draw sirene if you’d like

YAYYYYYYYY THANK YOU i JUST finished a drawing from last night so your timing is perfect lol

Question: she has a few different versions, is there one you'd like in particular....? 👀

[earthtokatewrites]

Innocence.

Written: August 2016

Amid the clatter of a world askew, A child, with eyes of wonder, wide and clear, Beholds the storm that rages, drawing near, Yet clings to fragile petals kissed with dew.

In corners where harsh voices often clashed, Small hands build castles from the softest sand, Imagining a kinder, gentler land, While hopes around in tattered whispers dashed.

Each night, beneath a quilt of patchwork dreams, Their heart, a tiny beacon, faint yet brave, Outshines the shadows of the fearsome cave, Reflecting light where none, it seems, redeems.

Through innocence, a world anew is spied on, Where chaos sleeps, and peace is not denied.

[cosmicxblossoms]

[🕯️ Reluctant hero Macaque]

"It's hard to look at him at times, to see what could've easily been my fate if things had been different. Seeing him struggle like this, knowing that he can be better if he was willing to be more open and look at himself. To start from scratch and see his worth."

"I was able to become the way I am because I started from square one and looked at myself, asking myself what kind of person I am and want to be outside of him. I know he could do that too if he tried, to truly be free of needing Wukong in his life. However, I can't force my help onto him, it is something that he has to want for himself. Macaque can choose to remain the way he is now or take the chance to be better. I may not understand why he does some of the things he does but I will be willing to help him if he ever needs it, all he has to do is ask for it."

[weepingfoxfury]

Early start, up in the dark and damp, the shiny metropolis awaits ... a little more of the snow book, nearly through the alphabet part of it ... Georgia on my mind croons Willie Nelson, a man that loves his horses ... got that new sock feel on my feet once more ... wonder if the magnificent buzzard will call today in search of unwary rats ... every day is Tuesday but every day is different ..

[mountainofhistory]

🕯️Lets hear it from Eiki about Komachi

"...I feel kind of bad for being so curt with Komachi earlier. It wasn't her fault that we had to clean up that whole spirits incident. Really I should be blaming Zanmu... I really don't want to have to deal with her though. Maybe I'll go find Komachi and see if I can make it up to her. Maybe treating her to dinner?"

[couslie]

I don’t really know anything about dungeons and dragons lore, especially with info changing apparently with each edition; however, I watched this clip and I keep thinking about Cazador’s thoughts…

Are vampires in DnD lore essentially evil against their own will? That their own true selves are trapped inside, their conscience constantly fighting them with every horrible decision, because of the curse of vampirism? If so, does that mean ascendant Astarion is the same? That his true thoughts, feelings, everything are trapped inside, and he has to internally suffer for all of eternity — a prisoner in his own mind? Because I feel like that’s a fate worse than death… that’s so fucking terrible.

[spiderwarden]

I believe with the ideal that's pushed by Minthara outside of Baldurs Gate, when discussing the refugees, that there is turmoil among the Noble Houses of Menzobarranzan. Those who are pro-slavery, and those who want to abolish it and replace it with indentured servitude where criminals and debt-owers could work off their debts.

[a-musing-mixologist]

Kid is very much one to hide his pain/injuries. The dark fabric and crimson coat help too, since they don't show blood as easily. He's got a high pain tolerance, and will try and push his way through all manner of things he shouldn't. A pretty big indication that something is wrong is if he goes quiet, because the only time he stops yelling is when he's injured or exhausted. He hates being fussed over and will try and find a vacant, quiet spot to catch his breath and suffer in silence.

[aparticularbandit]

i also should probably grapple with the fact that technically in the fic proper ultimate despair (as in the group, not as in junko (and mukuro)) are still at full power.

like.

dr2 tells us that when junko died the vast majority of ultimate despair committed suicide. that's why the remnants are called remnants - they are literally the remnants, the remaining pieces, of ultimate despair, the ones who didn't commit suicide when junko died graphically on screen at the conclusion of the killing game.

(they probably wouldn't refer to themselves as remnants. they would refer to themselves as members of ultimate despair. the other members might refer to them by a very specific name, since they would be considered junko's inner circle, but it wouldn't be remnants. it would be something else.)

((and the idea of izuru as junko's left hand man where mukuro is her right. or even that he's her right hand man, this secret shadowy figure who primarily operates in the shadows, who no one knows, who they suspect exists but no one's ever really met. just a bogey story within ultimate despair. (like maybe there are other remnants of despair who aren't that inner circle who whisper about junko's right hand man stepping in and taking over now that she's gone. but that's a different story. maybe.)))

anyway.

in oaei, junko doesn't die. she is not murdered graphically on screen. sure, sure, she might be staying in the old building of hpa, but she's still alive. and that changes things.

if junko's not dead, then the vast majority of ultimate despair did not commit suicide. they're still alive, functioning just the way they're supposed to, with the assumption that junko's got a plan or something.

(this also supposes that either 1) the vast majority of ultimate despair knew that junko was their leader already or 2) that whatever she brainwashed them with required them to die when she did. like - for them to commit suicide over her death, they would have had to believe that she was their leader and not just another operative within their ranks. you know?)

but like.

this means in oafc, ultimate despair is still functioning at full power. they don't really need junko out doing things in the world for them to continue as they have been; she's been trapped in the old building and separate from them for quite a while and they've been doing just fine, actually. so as long as she's not dead, they're not dead and still going.

things i should probably address at some point.