#☆ “ Welcome to another episode of: Tyler Talks! ”

[fight-for-what-you-love]

♪Wheel of Fortune - Kay Starr

Aahhhh. I love weddings. Don’t you? I think it’s a wonderful expression of one’s love for another, and it’s always nice to see celebrated! Crashing weddings can be fun to watch too, thankfully. Thanks, Sierra! (And sorry you lost your husband!)

Notes on the episode under the cut!

* Cody’s silently praying to whatever God may be out there that Noah’s the one that comes back.

* Chris announces Noah’s return as he rises from the stage on a three-tier platform. Sierra’s “WHAT” is drowned out by Cody’s “YES!!!”.

* (Noah's song is an entirely new arrangement that spoofs Kay Starr’s “Wheel Of Fortune”. It would entail Noah leading [obviously], singing about how awful it is that Lady Luck brought him back to compete on this awful show. It would end with Noah and Cody collectively thanking Lady Luck for letting them see each other again.)

* Noah asks if he has to go back to team Chris, and Chris responds that the teams are merging. Everyone welcomes this development except Sierra.

* Once he rejoins the cast proper, Sierra starts picking a fight with him. “Whatever… At least I got to spend more time with Cody.” Noah’s petty. “…At least Cody likes spending time with me.”

* They keep going. “At least I got to sleep with Cody!” “At least I slept with him first!” “At least my parents won’t hate me because I kissed a boy!!” “At least my parents care about me in the first place!!”

* Chris interrupts them: “Okay, okay! As entertaining as this spat is…” Cut to Cody, Tyler and Heather holding back Noah, and Courtney, Alejandro and Duncan holding back Sierra. Cody holds Noah’s mouth shut and Courtney holds Sierra’s shut. “…I’ve got a show to run. Let’s move on, shall we?”

* Sierra’s the first one to spin the roulette machine and she gets Tyler. She’s not happy. Tyler’s met with no one as Sierra yells at Chris to let her spin again. He insists she gets what she gets, and she’s not allowed to re-roll.

* Noah goes after Sierra, and rolls Cody. He pops out and finds himself in front of Noah. He jumps up and hugs him tight as he says it’s “The BEST DAY EVER!!” Sierra seethes in the background.

* Courtney rolls Alejandro and Heather is left with Duncan. Alejandro's disappointed but he won't say that out loud. Courtney on the other hand is SO happy to not be with Duncan.

* (As it turns out, Courtney and Alejandro are more compatible than they thought. Duncan and Heather, on the other hand, are not. Sad.)

* Noah and Cody breeeeeeze through the dress portion of the challenge. Cody’s laying down on his podium kicking around his legs, yelling directions at Noah with the stupidest look on his face. Noah makes it to the dress first and looks it up and down. Cody yells out “I THOUGHT THAT DRESS SUITED YOU WELL!!” Noah weakly yells back “Thank you Cody!” He’s not thrilled about wearing the dress, but he does appreciate Cody leading him to the one he’d be the most comfortable in.

* Noco’s the first ones to walk the tightrope. Cody looks down at the falls nervously, and Noah suggests carrying him instead. Cody stops him, insisting he can do it, and picks Noah up. Noah leans into him, getting comfortable. “If you insist, macho man.”

* Sierra and Tyler go after them and Sierra’s visibly upset. Tyler tries to mellow her out, suggesting that Cody and Noah are happy with each other and maybe she should let them be. Sierra stares at them as they talk about flower arrangements in their hypothetical wedding. She decides that no, she’s not quite ready to let them be, so she starts bouncing to make Tyler wobble and shake the line. It works and both couples fall.

* Cody manages to grab Noah in one arm and the line in another, though he’s struggling. Noah asks him if he can pull them back up (though he knows he can’t.) Cody tries anyway, and strains to the point of veins popping out of his neck. Noah tells him to stop.

* Alejandro and Courtney walk by and Alejandro “accidentally” kicks Cody’s hand off the line. Noco falls, screaming on the way down (“No!” in reality, “Asshole!” If I was allowed to curse.) Courtney is somewhat impressed by his ruthlessness. They win this challenge. Duncan and Heather were just bickering the whole time don’t worry about them.

~*[Events of the comic]*~

* Duncan gets voted out for being a prick and a bastard. Courtney is ok with this.

[enteringdullsville]

“If people gonna talk crap, I’ma beat it out of ‘em.”

It’s Color Theory EP. 38

Apples and Oranges

Trivia

This is the first episode Eloise, Forrest, and Landon have appeared since their debuts, the first Ellie talks onscreen, and the first Landon doesn’t speak.

This is the first appearance of Ingrid since Sore Losers and Scarlett’s first voiced appearance since her debut.

This is the first appearance of multiple incidentals; Cedric, Cree, Russell, Orchid, Hermes, Lupe, and Reese. Shamus also returns after debuting in Hiring Squad. This is the first time multiple side characters outside of the city’s defined workforce (so far Siren, Jade, Nathan, and Mr. Boss) have dialogue.

Hermes, Orchid, and Lupe all previously appeared in Rough Sketch under different colors and thus names. Hermes in particular was completely redesigned and is unrecognizable from his original appearance due to taking the design of another character who has yet to debut.

This is the second appearance of Mayor Elroy, setting up his role in episode 42.

Reese (originally designed as Brando and colored cognac) was made as a catch all “douchebag” character whose suffering would be played for laughs. The fact he happens to have the same name Fuchsia did in Rough Sketch is a welcome coincidence.

Cree was named “Daryl” in between stages of development. The only reason she isn’t called that here is because I legitimately forgot I changed it.

As of this episode, Scarlett’s skin and Eloise’s hair have been slightly redesigned.

Tyler was originally meant to speak in this episode, but his line was cut for space.

No Gray Drewmans appear. This is also a rare episode where none of the core six characters show up. If one did, it would be Violet to round out the cards motif Eloise, Fuchsia, and Forrest have.

Just to clarify, the last panel is supposed to be a play on words (“You do you”), not a suicide dare. I want to make that clear.

[nifflering]

Part two Beware spoilers for life on mars series one and two

Hello, hello, hello (some brainrotted fellows will understand this reference) Welcome to another edition of

*me rambling at you about life on mars (the UK version)*

Most important thing: this is my interpretation/analysis.

So, these are my personal, quite uneducated opinions. Also: I bought the series on DVD. No one will be safe.

Today, we'll be talking about the usage of colours in lom in general. If I do start and finish a rewatch and find some interesting scenes – I will add my commentary on them.

Like I already said many times before – there aren’t really many scenes in 2006/2007.

The shooting script of the first episode (I found it while floundering around on the waybackmachine) originally includes a scene in Sam and Maya’s appartement. (Context my beloved: Sammy boy is being kind of an ass, too busy with his job to solve his issues with Maya. She attempts talking to him but fails. I don’t know why they deleted it, because it would have really provided more context to their relationship and – most importantly, for my cause, a sneak peek of their apartment – I imagine it as very clean and kind of impersonal, a few personal touches, Maya’s attempt to brighten up the place. I think they’re both really busy, they started decorating but then Sam became DCI and he got too busy to use the apartment for anything except for sleeping. #Overwhelmed king)

Anyway, let’s take a look at.... a shot that to me represents a big theme of the show and some ✨️colors✨️.

After Sam gets hit by the car , he wakes up in this construction site with a poster of the soon to come high way. An image of the Future.

There’s a really distinct difference between the colour palates. The “future” sky is a nice light-blue, not a cloud to be seen, with some touches of orange and green. Everything is all white, clean and perfect – and it’s all coming soon(er or later).

Of course, it’s a very idealized version of the future. Because it’s how Sam perceives it – at this point in time, he’s very desperate to return.

(Just look at the scene where he first gets contacted through the math programme through the TV. The way Sam crawls towards the TV….. SIR, YOUR ACTING CHOICES. PLEAAASEEE.)

But it’s still surprisingly accurate. However, the idealistic picture of the future is quickly shattered, if you consider that – let’s squint our eyes - to see little Sam’s limp body lying on the ground. Surprisingly, in the 1970s we don’t really see a person being hit by a car (as far as I can remember - except Sam ofc)- But – let’s be honest in 1973 the streets are just every ground that is remotely driveable on.

The past still contains traces of those colours, mostly orange as seen in the dirty underneath the bridge. The air is heavy and greyish, trash and building material is littered on the ground.

The only bits of white are the high-flats in the background, but they are far far away.

Those buildings and streets are still being built – everything’s in flux. Things can change. But, should they? Sam is generally really unsure in that whole department but that’s the thing about it:

We never actually find out, (side note: I haven’t yet seen ashes to ashes) if Sam’s choices actually make an impact in the present. It certainly gives you the impression – his father staying away, his mentor teaching him those lessons, Maya’s birth, etc. etc.. But does it really matter in the end?

Or is it just all in his head? Is he still Sam Tyler in a hospital bed in 2006 or is he an amnesiac Sam Williams in 1973 on an undercover operation?

In the past, there are several buildings – bound to Sam Tyler’s identity, and which I will be further explaining in another ramble.

Let’s get back to colours. Two examples where a similar concept applies: The interrogation room and the general office space of the police department.

The room is flooded with light – courtesy of the huge windows (side note: privacy??? What’s that?). The situation is very transparent as the interrogation is literally being recorded. The person being interrogated has their whole support team with them, including lawyer, social worker and psychiatrist. This scenario is as by the books as you can get it.

I also really like that little shot of Sam adjusting the pens, character go brr.

Same thing in the general offices – a 2010s fever dream with all those clunky computers – which school computer lab have you magically transported me to?

Imagine the absolute horror that Sam feels when he sees the past police department.

Look at it

Without considering the lighting and furniture, the room looks sort of modern – it has a lot of windows and could be causing the same effect as the interrogation room on a visitor.

The officers are working diligently and carefully through every case and issue – investigating every clue and they never rest until they catch the perpetrator.

But that’s wishful thinking - In reality (at least in the past)the room is tinged with brownish yellow lighting, there’s no order to the tables, paper strewn all over the desks and even spending a second in this room will lead you to smelling like smoke for the next 55 years. I would faint. And I’m not even talking about the consequences of not being a white straight guy….

This police department doesn’t even have an interrogation room, they also rarely record any interrogations (leaving a lot of room for interpretation or using some creativity to catch the suspect or get an important lead) and mishandle, don't notice or even collect crucial evidence.

In the lost and found

Even asking for a lawyer – leads to being laughed at and insulted by the literal governor of the department. It’s quite dark and very cramped – it’s quite private – so no one will notice you beating up an innocent person….

But I still feel the office feels very lived in.

There’s a giant dart board, random trophies, dirty dishes strewn about… Good luck getting your case solved. Where’s the evidence that could solve your murder? It’s probably buried under some spicy magazines and a bunch of cigarette buds.

For all the time the police spend at the office, they sure do know when to stop and start going to the pub.

One scene in the later seasons – in the episode about the false imprisonment of the teenager who murdered his younger girlfriend, Gene Hunt is determined to catch her killer for good. He’s made a promise to her father and he’s willing to do almost everything to make his city a safer place (any means necessary). He urges the police men to do anything they can, work day and night and not sleep a wink until they’ve put the right person in prison.

And then, he peeks at his watch and drops everything because they need to get drunk in the pub.

and that's it, hope you enjoyed :)

BONUS: have some cinematic shots

For u @roxannepolice <3

featuring: desperation, isolation and crippling loneliness

lom 1

lom 2

[letsgethaunted]

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07: What's Haunting You? (Ghosts, Orbs, Mantis Encounters) Photodump

Welcome to the photo dump for Episode 7 of the return of “What’s Haunting You?”, a Miniature Haunting series brought to you by Let’s Get Haunted. On each Friday of this Spooky Season, Nat and Aly will be bringing you short, scary, non-fiction stories as told by the folks who experienced them firsthand. Come join us on this trip through the LGH archives as we dare to answer the question, “What’s haunting you?” Read below for a summary of the stories featured on this week’s episode and flip through the images from this week’s photo dump!

IMAGE 01: Welcome to Episode 7! IMAGE 02: Tyler is working the graveyard shift at an Oregon gas station when a man comes in. Later, the teenager reviews the security footage only to realize that he was talking to…nobody. Who, or what, did Tyler meet that night? Here is the gas station in question + another image of the door the man walked through. IMAGE 03: When he was 9 years old, Chris was running up and down the stairs of the building he lived in with his family when he rounded a corner and came face-to-face with a pulsating green orb. What could it have been? IMAGE 04: The sand in the orb was described by Chris as being similar to one of these toys. IMAGE 05: As a child, Edward remembers looking out the window of his dad’s home to see a gigantic UFO with flashing lights. IMAGE 06: Later, in his adulthood, Edward is visited by what appears to be a Mantis Alien while trapped in a fit of sleep paralysis. Could these two experiences be related? IMAGE 07: Quick sketch of the description of the symbol Edward saw on his wall. IMAGE 08: Thanks for stopping by Baba Aly’s haunted apothecary! Do come again!

[themultifandomgal]

Tyler Hoechlin Our Love

TV Equals Interview

July 2013

Finally it's time for our panel interviews. The interviewer welcomes us all. I sit down in between Tyler and Daniel waving to everyone

"Ok first things first, Jeff. Coming into season 3 what was its you wanted to accomplish in the first handful of episodes?"

"Errm we really wanted to premiere in a big way. It was nice to see the ratings go up and it was really nice to introduce new characters especially our twins here" Jeff looks over to Charlie and Max

"So in Mondays episode we were introduced to the idea of the true alpha. Tell us about it"

"The idea was that, what if a bata could rise to become an alpha just because of their own character. The idea is that Scott is just such a good person that he doesn't need to steal the power from anyone" the audience whoops in response.

"Tyler H. We saw that someone from Derek and Stella's past comes to try and still your girl away. How's Derek dealing with this?"

"He's got no chance" Ty says making everyone scream and me me laugh

"YN your thoughts?"

"Honestly same. We learn Derek is quite a jealous person, but Stella won't let her eyes wonder. I think this season will test there relationship to the max. It's not going to be smooth sailing, but they still love each other and will do anything for one another" I say

"Jeff are we going to have a Derek and Stella wedding?" Jeff just shrugs his shoulders in response.

"Ok so Lydia. What is Lydia? Any guesses?"

"I remember saying this once before but I'm going to say she's the Hatch from lost. That's what I'm going with"

"So your saying Lydia is an inanimate object"

"With winning lottery numbers on the door" Holland laughs

"Let's talk about that. We saw Stiles try to figure it out. When do we get to find out what Lydia is?"

"Episode nine" Jeff replies

"Can we just talk about YNs acting when she watched Derek get 'killed' that performance I think had all of us in tears"

"Thank you... I think" i reply with a smile "it was nice to let everyone see this side of Stella. She's used to looking un phased in front of everyone except Derek so for them to see her in tears, struggling to deal with that, thinking she'd lost her soulmate, I think everyone's realised she truly loves him and needs him"

"Even for us hearing YN scream like that, we genuinely thought she was hurt or something" Crystal says

"The next episode is Motel California which Lydia and Stiles took down Motel California in a big way"

"We tried" Holland says giving Dylan a side hug from her seat

"Let's just take a minute to commend Dylan's performance in that final scene" we all cheer and clap. Dylan then talks about the scene and how real it felt for him.

"Let me ask you this Jeff. When all of this started and Stiles figured out it was virgins who were getting sacrificed, Stiles was very concerned about his safety. I feel like we're not addressing the fact that someone needs have sex with Stiles immediately. I don't know if there's any volunteers or anything" everyone in the audience starts screaming while we all just sit and laugh at an awkward looking Dylan

“We will pick a winner” Posey laughs

“Is this still a factor in the world of teen Wolf that there are these sacrifices. Should there be concern for anyone who hasn’t been there yet?”

“I would say the virgin sacrifices are over, the question of Stiles virginity is yet to be answered and will be answered in an upcoming episode”

I feel I shift next to me and notice that Ty has put his arm over the back of my chair. I give him a little smile then hear the audience squeal and awe at us while Crystal is talking about Allison in the upcoming episodes.

“Tyler, YN I have to ask what’s it like working together as an on screen couple? Do you ever get sick of each other?”

“No” Ty laughs shaking his head “I like to think of it as we’re lucky”

“Definitely. With what our job is, I think it would be hard if one of us was working on a different show or film. On top of that if one of us weren’t playing Stella or Derek we wouldn’t be dating”

“I think it’s great how Jeff makes sure we have scenes without each other as well that was our characters are given opportunities to explore different situations”

“On Monday we are getting a huge Derek and Stella flash back. Jeff what can you tell us to expect?”

“We’re really proud of this episode. It takes us back to Stella and Dereks past. We see how there friendship took a big turn. A lot of questions are answered to do with the Hale family and also Stella’s family because we currently don’t know much about her. She’s very secretive about her past and for good reason. So yeah really proud of this episode”

“Like Jeff just said, YN your past is a massive secret what can you tell us about Mondays flashback”

“All I can say is we learn why YN and Dereks eyes are blue. And have tissues”

Daniel talks about working with Posey and Issac living at Scott’s house

“It’s nice living with a loving family for once”

“Hey it wasn’t that bad with us” I say nudging Daniels arm

“Imagine living with your mum and dad who are always all over one another”

“Ok ok Stella and Derek aren’t always all over each other” I say but I’m given a look off Daniel almost saying ‘are you serious?’

Max and Charlie talk about their characters and what it was like for them to join our casting. Dylan and Holland then talk about their kiss scene. Finally we answer questions from the audience before it’s time to leave.

Another Comic-Con is over and it’s back to filming the rest of Season 3.

[almalvo]

STAR TREK: DISCOVERY | S1E9 "Into the Forest I Go"

[I will react to each episode individually and in full, raw reception and then post as is unrevised here onto my tumblr for the full span of every and all NuTrek episodes and series that have been and will be released. If this falls under your field of interest - I welcome your company in joining me. Enjoy the ride.] -------

Seeing DISCO fly like that orbiting the ship is so pretty. Lorca does captaincy pretty well so far Or at least definitely holds that air Ok so these camera cuts dont feature zooms every shot - feels infinitely better. But I dont imagine that will last. It's so odd - I want to like Lorca more but he has such a sinister air about him - which is intentional im sure. curious what his lore is. I wonder where his tribble tribbles off to Nice to see lorca caring about the purpose of his ship - science haha this is the first time ive felt evil untrustworthiness in a main starship captain damn saru just like TALK to burnham? i saw your look at her when Lorca said she's to stay. These effects are so nicee Oml how Doc Hugh just swiped the PADD's contents into the holographic screen like that, sexy its so odd to see the camera out of focus in shots that should be in focus i really love how these screens look

Kol talking is so nice to hear his voice and how klingon roles off his speech sounds relaly good Ok in these klingon scenes, they really should stop the zooms. it makes it all feel like cutscenes in a videogame. such pretty beaminggg Im curius to see how they can retain this tension Ugh seeing DISCO move like that is so pretyyyy Dude time and time again, Trek could be such a good game series. theres so much to do if they can write a rich enough basis and objective course. I know Star Trek: Resurgence is a thing, but why is it the ONLY thing like it that exists for Trek? These things really make me wonder. And make me worry I really hope Trek doesnt fade out. I recognise another aspect of why I feel confused about Burnham's character is that it hasnt been made apparent to me really her amiable or decent rooting into the crew to care about them due to all of the animosity the show was borne with. L'Rell's eyes look so gooddd Damn she was into torturing u huh Damn you just shot her like that damn poor Tyler. I love how solid the phasers look in hand I love the detail in the sets marvelous job. Ohh thats a very nice fade in to the monitor of the sensour

oml the way DISCO could just spin like that and pull DBZ teleport lmaoooooo Kol saying "wtf is it doing" lmaooo I worry that the sensour on the klingon ship is so bright and glowy would just give away its position to the klingons It's a little odd how the DISCO spins before teleportation haha intersting though Stamets said I love you but had like no gravity ack The way Stamets shakes his head side to side like that nakedly without camera effect or blured movement looked laughable. this kind of stuff just really impedes the show. when its easy to fix. The way Kol picks his teeth with the badge - the way its shot is not the best but ill say Burnham's line delivery saying "I'm the one who killed T'Kuvma" was actually really good and strong. man this show has bits and pieces of being rather fair in performance. but it gets assaulted by really amateur/dumb/distasteful constructive choice in the episodes

damn i didnt think hed put the badge on himself That looks so interesting imagine that OOOO I liked that transport midjump nice ??? really?? Kol is destroyed just like that?? that felt so fast with very little impact? Kol never really felt menacing is the thing. The scariest the klingons felt in this show so far is literally episode one. when Burnham meets this fully armoured klingon during her space flight. It was a literlaly BEAUTIFULLY DELICIOUS moment of that reveal and that bird of prey it was actually WONDERFULLY done. where has that gone. i still dont care at all for ash x burnham. itd be more compelling if they were good friends. without romance.

i feel like nothing really significant happened with Kol gone now like nothing at all. There is a certain curse that Star Trek has. That is loses a lot of steam when it attempts to deviate from TOS. I mean, i understand TOS is the essence of trek forever and always. but it also makes me sad that trek doesnt really stand on its own with much semblance of strength without TOS. It's another reason why Trek feels so small. Cargo Bay is so pretty. Lorca being humble is nice. saying thank you? nice. The filming of this episode is literlaly better. the camera direction is not done in such an annooyingly impatient jittery way as past episodes I like how we just appreciate the cargo bay environment KLINGON BOOBS. i didnt think id see that. oml dont tell me you have a stockholm syndrome thang going on :( wow thats the first time i ever seen a naked klingon. Oh shit. dont say she R'd u. that's fucked. Ok I think another reason why this episode is actually better is because its actually DARING to be more S T E A D Y . which is something htis show CRITICALLY needs desparately. stamets kissy Hugh cuteee Stamets you better not die from this last jump.

Um. Lorca. Those are a lot of coordinates? um. ummmmm. oh shit whoaaaaaaa those are some NICE ice crystal effects on the glass

ummm there were momentarily 2 DISCOs ……. m…. …..m………mmm…….mirrorverse….??? infinite permutations huh MIRRORVERSE?

damn stamets so pale even his eyes lost colour. Kind of funny every time we see the android we hear that electronic sound Oooo

Ok yeah this was one of the stronger episodes in the series so far. almossst exclusively because the camera work/cinematic editing was more PATIENT. whatd i say. ok well an improvement for sure, this episode was.

im waiting on ya, DISCO.

[straightbaittournament]

only the option with the LEAST votes will be eliminated. propaganda under the cut (and more always welcome!):

tyler rake and nik khan:

They’re very close, have lots of chemistry, but have never been acknowledged in canon. At this point they are just work friends who save each others’ lives on the regular.

lisa cuddy and gregory house:

The show spends 7 seasons hinting that House is going to end up with Cuddy, and then writes her out in season 7. In the finale, he has a flashback of people who impacted his life and she doesn’t even show If House and Wilson can’t be together, then House and Cuddy should

kipo oak and benson mekler:

It only lasts a few episodes, but this is a very clear INTENTIONAL straight bait from the writers, as it's a female main character with a male major supporting character, and Benson even takes Kipo to a carnival, which Kipo interprets as a date, until she confesses attraction to him, where he tells her he's gay and just wants to be friends.

tan:

ok so it's complicated? like he's the lead love interest in a show that was very explicitly marketed as queer but I'm calling him straightbait because he literally straightbaits like every character in the show? So there's this girl (Jane) and everyone jsut assumes that he's dating her? Like she gets (spoiler!) murdered in ep 1 and the police are like "the body was found by the victim's boyfriend" and they mean Tan. Bun the main character drunkingly kissed Tan in the first episode as well and then saw Tan and Jane at an event holding hands and he was like....... wow this is awkward and also is he cheating on her with me??? (he was best friends with Jane). Anyways like this continues with Tan being under suspicion for Jane's murder because he's was her lover apparently and Bun is like living with this guy now and Tan is like laying it on thick about his attraction towards Bun but Bun is still suspicious and then Bun's talking to one of the kids that Jane and Tan taught and the kid is like "yeah so Miss Jane's boyfriend...." and Bun is like "right, Tan." and the kid is like "what??? mr tan never dated miss jane she was with this other guy." and Bun is confused (rightly) until like a few episodes later or so they're staring at their red string board and Tan is like "yeah so I was literally never with Jane we were just good friends" and is then also implied to be like gay as well so he's not even bi. Which ok straightbait over right? Wrong! Jane's actual boyfriend gets murdered and Tan gets arrested for it and he's like "what motive do I have to kill him??" and the police are like "well you two were fighting over Jane's love clearly" and he just kinda scoffs and smirks with a whole "these idiots have no idea that i'm currently planning on how to propose to my boyfriend of like a week" but just doesn't say anything?!?!?!?! he actively makes himself more suspicious and a greater target by pretending to be straight instead of just being like hey guys you know I was just buddies with Jane right? and i'm currently hooking up with the doctor who keeps giving you guys problems?? Anyways he's not straightbait in the sense that it was any surprise to the audience that he ended up with a boyfriend. but he did pretend to be straight for no real reason and literally endangered himself by doing so (this universe didn't seem to have like any actual homophobia stuff)

bruce wayne and selina kyle:

So a while back there was a whole thing about their wedding with SO much buildup. Like a whole mini series, a couple arcs in the main batman run, Superman and Nightwing threw him a bachelor party. Then when it was time for them to get married Selina fuckin left him at the altar. She left him at the altar man

himmel and frieren:

https://official.lowee.us/manga/Sousou-no-Frieren/0030-015.png https://official.lowee.us/manga/Sousou-no-Frieren/0030-016.png https://official.lowee.us/manga/Sousou-no-Frieren/0030-017.png https://official.lowee.us/manga/Sousou-no-Frieren/0030-018.png https://64.media.tumblr.com/ccb9c16bab47d917d2e11dd22c9b88e7/828182d720d735af-ea/s500x750/210c55d7128139c2ce032383b34ad487df067514.jpg

hardwon surefoot and moonshine cybin:

They’re DnD characters so they’re bi disasters canonically. Just not for each other The best way to describe Hardshine is this: “They’re soulmates” “Platonically or romantically?” “Yes” Literally they care so much about each other. Moonshine cured Hardwon’s vampirism by reincarnating him into a half elf and he told her “I’ve been half elf ever since I met you”. Moonshine is a high level elf druid which means she’ll basically live forever and literally the most emotional scene where she asks her mom “How long do half-elves live?”. Hardwon was always a fish out of water who never really fit in until he found Moonshine and the Crick. Are they dating? Queerplatonic partners? Siblings? Idk man they’re just in love it doesn’t matter how.

willow park and hunter:

THEY ARE NOT STRAIGHT THEY R BI4PAN BUT IT IS AN M/F RELATIONSHIP They are an M/F relationship in The Gay Show and they are hinted and teased but never confirmed

tim drake and stephanie brown:

Tim and Steph are a thing for most of their history. Then stuff happens and they break up and soon after that Tim is confirmed to be bi and starts dating Bernard (former random side character who nobody thought would ever be relevant again)

rowena macleod and sam winchester:

Their relationship was clearly going in that direction before the writers killed Rowena.

good luck everybody! now go vote!

[open-hearth-rpg]

Open Hearth Video Roundup - August 23, 2024

Welcome to the weekly Open Hearth Gaming video roundup!

These recorded sessions represent only a portion of the games we play every week, and anyone is welcome to join the fun! If you'd like to play in games like these, join our Playabl community and click on the "Calendar" tab to sign up for upcoming games. To browse our entire library of session videos, please visit our YouTube Playlists page. To hear our recorded sessions in audio-only form, please check out our Playing at the Hearth podcast.

Reminder: Our next Shared Hearth free online gaming event is taking place from Thursday, September 5th through Sunday, September 8th, 2024. If you’ve never played games with us before, this is a great way to get started! Signups are currently open, and games are free for everyone. You can check out the schedule and sign up for games at the Playabl event calendar here. Hope to see you there!

Open Hearth Gaming Calendar

Vow of the Knight-Aspirants (Session 4 of 4) Jesse A. runs for Alexi S., Ian, Robbie Boerth, and Steven S. In our finale, the squires reckon with their hostages, and finally face the forces of the Tower Perilous.

Godkiller (Session 11 of 11) Donogh runs for Madelancholy Wal descends into the well beneath the Wizard's Tower, where she finds poison from the Heavens threatening to break the world. She faces a momentous decision that will shape her fate and the fate of the world itself...

Hearts of Wulin: Numberless Secrets: Legend of Bad Valley (Session 4 of 5) Lowell Francis runs for Ethan Harvey, Patrick Knowles, Sherri, and Tyler Lominack Our protagonists begin with their examination of seemingly another corpse of their supposed murder victim. They then dig deeper into the depths of the tunnels under Bad Valley. In a locked chamber they must overcome a deadly trap to uncover the hidden secrets. They return to the surface and talk to many of the suspects-- slowly beginning to gain a sense of the truth lying behind these murders.

Hearts of Wulin: Numberless Secrets: Legend of Bad Valley (Session 5 of 5) Lowell Francis runs for Ethan Harvey, Patrick Knowles, Sherri, and Tyler Lominack Our protagonists regroup to gathering their strength. They make one last round of meeting with important figures in Bad Valley before discussing the clues gathered and how they fit into the facets of the mystery-- leading to the unmasking of the killer and a revelation of many of Bad Valley's secrets!

Blades in the Dark: Dreaming Cities Lowell Francis runs for Anders, Dominik M., Puckett, and Sabine V. Session zero for a new quarterly campaign of Blades in the Dark. We begin with set up and safety. Then, using an alternate toolset we build the world, our city, and the factions in play. In the end we create an island city, with a variety of weird happenings. We move to character creation, relationships, and how they first met, at which point I forget to restart the recording and so that's cut off. Characters are reintroduced at the start of the next session.

Blades in the Dark: Dreaming Cities (Session 1) Lowell Francis runs for Anders, Dominik M., Puckett, and Sabine V. The first play session of our new quarterly series of Blades in the Dark, set in a city the players build in our session zero. We begin with a reintroduction of the PCs (since that got cut off last time). We then do a little work establishing the revolutionary crew. After a look at the daily lives of our protagonists, we move them quickly into a mission. They have to rescue an escaped strike-leader from the hands of a rival gang. There's an explosion.

Monster of the Week: Pine Lake (Episode 1) Anders runs for Jim Likes Games, Paul Rivers, Puckett, and Will H "P41NWARRIOR Will Prove You Wrong!" - The players introduce their monster hunting teenagers and delve into their first mystery: What's the real story behind their school mate Brooke's murder?

Monster of the Week: Pine Lake (Episode 2) Anders runs for Jim Likes Games, Paul Rivers, Puckett, and Will H "I will not let you go into that basement" - The players send their teenaged investigators to the morgue and the place of Brooke's murder.

Hearts of Yokai: The Deepening Gulf Lowell Francis runs for Ethan Harvey, Patrick Knowles, Sherri, and Tyler Lominack We work through city and character creation creation in the session zero for this modern urban fantasy PbtA game inspired by Changeling the Lost, The Magicians, DIE, isekai, and more.

Star Wars Saturday

Apocalypse World: Burned Over: Jakku (Session 4) Rich Rogers runs for Anders, Brandon Brylawski, Greg G., Kae, and Steven Watkins Guard Duty can suck sometimes, and green heroes are gullible.

Apocalypse World: Burned Over: Jakku (Session 5) Rich Rogers runs for Greg G., Jo Lene, Kae, and Steven Watkins Darude comes to Jakku.

Apocalypse World: Burned Over: Jakku (Session 6) Rich Rogers runs for Anders, Greg G., Jo Lene, Kae, and Steven Watkins Aftermaths of Darude

Off-Calendar Highlights

Trophy Gold: Leviathan's Bridge (Session 4 of 5) Madelancholy runs for James, Marc Majcher, and Michael D. Hudjar rejoins Masero, and the strange manikin Gwon follows them on their journey through Leviathan’s Bridge…they make it to the grim Bone Garden and face the massive guardian. Hudjar’s shadowy stalker reveals themselves.

Trophy Gold: Leviathan's Bridge (Session 5 of 5) Madelancholy runs for James, Marc Majcher, and Michael D. Hudjar faces off against her twin. Masero and Gwon make it past the guardian, noticeably affected. The Glowing Sanctuary awaits...

The Between: Stars and Suns, Season Two (Session 19) Madelancholy runs for Jack, Mike, and Steph "Conversations and Counteroffers" - Dr. Weiss is not impressed with a bantering Liat. Liat offers to help Sir Atticus with his greatest challenge…for a small price - the counteroffer is stunning. Atticus and John uncover Clues in the Society Obscura, and Liat pressures D.I. Pettigrew for information.

The Between: Stars and Suns, Season Two (Session 20) Madelancholy runs for Jack, Mike, Sarah W., and Steph "Spending Time with Company" - Sir Atticus and Dr. Weiss deal with a runaway carriage and a blackmail gang on the way to meet Ernest, who was attending the King in Shadows play but slips into the Night Tap for a time. Meanwhile, a motherly Liat meets with the Beast at Hargrave House over evening refreshment. (The hunters also reached the maximum Mastermind Clues, so the introduction of new Threats has ceased.)

Hearts of Wulin: Numberless Secrets: Gaze into Silken Night Madelancholy runs for Agatha, Rae Nedjadi, Rod Santos, and Thomas Manuel We review CATS and Safety in this Session 0 for the Numberless Secrets expansion of Hearts of Wulin - join us for exploring some wuxia mystery roleplay for this series!

[ear-worthy]

Pod-Alization: Rap Radar Season Two; Matter Of Opinion Debates “Old”; God Particle Podcast

Season two of Rap Radar premieres with Tyler, the Creator The season two premiere of Interval Presents’ Rap Radar podcast featuring Tyler, the Creator, dropped last week. Tune in HERE to catch Tyler’s thoughts on his Grammy-winning album, rap debates, social issues, and his family and friends.  

Two years after releasing his Grammy Award-winning album, Call Me If You Get Lost, Tyler repackaged it as The Estate Sale. Tyler has also opened the market up to television, clothing, and fragrances. Here, the Odd Future frontman discusses his latest project, rap debates, NBA Youngboy, and DJ Drama. Hosted by Elliott Wilson and Brian 'B.Dot' Miller, Rap Radar is the home of hip-hop’s most revealing interviews. Both Wilson and Miller are true journalists who do an immense amount of research, know how to listen, and are driven to get the answers to the questions hip-hop fans want to know. NYT's Matter Of Opinion discusses how old is too old" Matter of Opinion is a relatively new weekly podcast from The New York Times (NYT), features four of NYT's Opinion’s signature voices as they talk through an issue in the news, culture or in their own work, and try to make sense of what is a weird and fascinating time to be alive.

It's one of those rare opinion and debate podcasts where people aren't screaming at one another or demonizing people with opposing views, as is common on the Cumulus podcast network where Bognino, Levin, and Shapiro find enemies everywhere, from the deep state to your neighbor who own a Toyota Prius. Hosts Michelle Cottle, Ross Douthat, Lydia Polgreen, and Carlos Lozada open up to each other’s ideas and challenge listeners’ views to bring listeners the kind of smart analytical conversations you should expect from an opinion show. The first six episodes of Matter of Opinion are out now. In the most recent episode, the four hosts discuss America’s gerontocracy, retirement, age limits and when Biden and Feinstein should retire — and when you should. In search of "The God Particle" This is a terrific science podcast from “Seneca Women to Hear: The Search For the Next Great Female Podcasters” awardee, writer, director, actor, and entrepreneur Dahlia Wilde. Join Wilde on Oh My God Particle Show! for a fascinating show about science, art, creativity, particle physics and the responsiveness of the universe. Each episode follows her journey back to the Large Hadron Collider at the Centre for Research Nuclear (CERN) in Geneva, Switzerland to meet with the genius female scientists who are doing mind-boggling original work there. The show is science-rich, yet playful, and it has women in science for a welcome change. Explore the universe every Wednesday with Dahlia Wilde on “Oh My God Particle Show!”

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 03/06/2023 (J Hus, Taylor Swift, Dua Lipa)

Content warning: Unusually murderous lyrics

Welp, it’s the eighth week on top of the UK Singles Chart for “Miracle” by Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding... maybe its last? We’ll see but for now, welcome back to yet another episode of REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, we start with our notable dropouts although this may be one of those rare weeks where our returning entries are more interesting. Regardless, notable dropouts are songs exiting the UK Top 75 – which is what I cover – after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. Sadly, we see “Mourning” by Post Malone leave the top 40 after only one week in the chart, and honestly most of these dropouts are at least decent. Sure, I’m not complaining about “Calendar” by Nines, but we also say farewell to “Healing” by Tion Wayne, “Energy” by Digga D and “B.O.T.A. (Baddest of Them All)”... as well as “Mr. Brightside” because of course but probably most unfortunately, “ceilings” by Lizzy McAlpine. It had a good run, and if I end up making a year-end list, it would end up pretty high to say the least.

We also see the three-song rule in action, which is partly why I mentioned our returning entries, as both Taylor Swift and Lewis Capaldi switch out their Pokémon. Capaldi exchanges “How I’m Feeling Now” for “Forget Me” (back at #62) which is the more rote exchange compared to Taylor, who lets “Anti-Hero” drop out of the chart – finally – thanks to the new reissue for Midnights, which has allowed “Snow on the Beach” featuring Lana Del Rey to re-enter at #24 due to a superior version that includes more vocals from Lana since fans were clamouring for it. More on Taylor later.

For now, there are three more returns and whilst I can’t say I was ever a big fan of Tina Turner, both her legendary presence and comeback in the 1980s as well as her heartbreaking story that makes her out like a badass who survived a ton of abuse from her ex-husband and lived life to the fullest for the years afterwards, was impossible to ignore, and still is. She did live a long life, but I can’t help but think that the Queen of Rock and Roll still never got her due flowers when alive, and I honestly include myself in that – why I haven’t dug into her albums is beyond me. Sadly, Tina never topped the chart here in the UK, peaking at #3 a fitting three times. Only one of those songs, the US chart-topper “What’s Love Got to Do with It” from 1984, returns this week at #35. A 2020 Kygo remix of said song was her latest chart hit, peaking at #31. Weirdly enough, Warren G and Adina Howard actually took the song further to #2 with their 1996 cover, which is bizarre to think about. Her 1993 cover of Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Proud Mary” is back at #44, with this solo version actually reaching a new peak since it only got to #62 prior in 2010 thanks to an X Factor performance. The original CCR track hit #8 and the version Tina recorded with Ike never charted in the UK. Finally, at #25, we have “The Best”, probably tied with “What’s Love Got to Do with It” as her best known song. I imagine this charted higher because 1.) it’s the name of her greatest hits album, and 2.) it has a really triumphant, celebration of life feeling to it. The song is actually a cover of a Bonnie Tyler song but her version went nowhere whilst “The Best” was a global hit when performed by Tina Turner, so she definitely owns this song in the cultural understanding. Her version peaked at #5 in the UK, 90 spots higher than Tyler’s, and actually returned to #9 in, once again, 2010. I don’t think all these numbers effectively represent the impact of Tina Turner, and I’m far from the best person to relay what she and her songs meant to millions of people, but still, rest in power.

When it comes to the rest of our gains, well, we see boosts for “Little Things” by Jorja Smith at #45, “Satellite” and “Late Night Talking” by Harry Styles at #36 and #31 respectively, and that’s pretty much it aside from Taylor’s already mediocre “Karma” suffering from its frankly terrible Ice Spice remix, surging all the way up to #12. We’ll see if it sticks around, but I have my doubts.

As for the top five on this week’s UK Singles Chart, it’s looking pretty standard – we have “REACT” by Switch Disco and Ella Henderson featuring the late Robert Miles at #5 – not complaining about that one gaining – followed by “As it Was” by Harry Styles, and “Calm Down” by Rema both taking their sweet time at #4 and #3. And of course, we have “Daylight” by David Kushner at #2 and “Miracle” at the very top, so now it’s time to run through this week’s newest chart entries.

NEW ARRIVALS

#75 – “Pelle Coat” – Lil Durk

Produced by Chopsquad DJ

I did not listen to Almost Healed. I probably should have but whilst I do quite like Lil Durk a lot of the time, when I see production from Dr. Luke and features from Kodak Black, Morgan Wallen and the late Juice WRLD, a lot of my interest flies out of the window, especially since “All My Life” continues to sour on me outside of Durk’s contribution. Thankfully, we didn’t get any of that malarkey as thanks to a video, a solo Durk track consisting of mostly observational story-telling is what charted from his album, which peaked at #14 on the albums chart this week. I love how the more intimate 90s R&B keys play off the looming pianos, fitting for how gang violence and paranoia is meshed with trying to live an average, everyday life and forming personal relationships with people you love and then see die, with Chopsquad DJ really delivering what is pretty much a perfect beat for Durk, so it’s no surprise that he kills it, without a hook and instead just a creeping refrain – “they’re scared to come outside”. Durk keeps his wonky, fast-paced melodic flow as he recalls events from his life for four minutes, with these specific stories ending up becoming trends and routines, to the point where his aunt can’t even trust him after he saw his cousin die right in front of him, which is just a small part of the second verse but was what resonated with me. It gets to an interesting question – at what point is family still family? – but seemingly understands his aunt’s visceral reaction, since Hell, he has at least 12 visceral, distrusting gut reactions to tragedies in his life in this very song. He ends the song with a duality: Durk knows what he’s done in his life, and isn’t scared to face them... but he also asks Allah if he can forgive him for the sake of his family. How I’d describe the last couple bars, droned on with melodious Auto-Tune, would be helpless and lacking control. In fact, he loses control of the narrative throughout the song, intentionally or not, as his bars get longer, more specific and more wrapped up in context, whilst his flow gets sloppier and less melodic until the last couple lines, where he feels like he needs divine intervention just to know that he can be closer with his own children and make sure his friends aren’t dying. It’s a pretty devastating opener too, considering the first track is just Alicia Keys initiating the therapy session and “Pelle Coat” is how he ends up venting to her. It may not be for everyone, but it’s a pretty vulnerable track from Durk that I’m sad has to exist.

#67 – “Talibans” – Byron Messia

Produced by Kelly Beatz

Ah, the Taliban. My favourite Islamist fundamentalist organisation currently in control of most of Afghanistan. This is actually nothing new for the record – in Lil Yachty’s “Oprah’s Bank Account” with DaBaby, which peaked at #54, Drake compares himself to Osama bin Laden AND Barack Obama, and Future continuously mentions the Taliban in reference to his gang, as do many other rappers. Hell, Drake seems to have the Taliban follow him everywhere – he was on “Life is Good” with Future that peaked at #3 and that had Osama show up in the lyrics too. Hell, it had DaBaby on the remix also, and both songs were released in 2020. I may have inadvertently discovered the weirdest trend in pop music in the last five years. Moving on, Byron Messia is a bubbling artist born in Jamaica and apparently from St. Kitts and Nevis, with this being his breakout hit... and it’s completely serviceable dancehall. The bed of vocal samples that acts as a melody amidst the fizzy bass and tropical drums doesn’t really serve much of a foundation: it feels really minimal, and the fact that Messia goes for an Auto-Tune croon instead of a more threatening delivery just makes this feel pretty dissonant. The creeping violence in the pre-chorus – where he says that the brain will be shot so far it ends up in Canada which, unless something’s lost in the language barrier, is pretty funny – does not mix with this cloudy dancehall pop at all, and it really wouldn’t bother me if he were more interesting in his delivery or if there was anything to this production, and no, repeating the chorus with ridiculous vibrato inflections as the outro is not “interesting”. I guess it’s completely fine but I definitely won’t be returning to this.

#63 – “Good Love” – Hannah Laing and RoRo

Produced by Hannah Laing and James Hurr

Alright, I’ll bite: who the Hell are any of these people? So Hannah Laing is a Scottish DJ from Dundee who’s been doing mixes and bootlegs for quite a while now, and has some connections in the Ibiza circuit, as well as podcasts, club nights and a recent documentary. James Hurr is a London producer, and RoRo is an R&B singer from Barbados. This track, topped with a very Scottish cover art, is a club banger based on RoRo’s pitch-shifted vocals about love and freedom, and I’ll say – great choice for a hook, Hannah, if this is a remix, and great idea, RoRo, if it isn’t – “give me permission to lose my head” is a banger line to put at the end of your refrain for a hardcore track. The breakbeats waiver off of the warped bass before clashing into a muted yet alarming synth kick keeping everything just tight enough for an explosion to eventually come around the corner, and then... well, it doesn’t happen immediately. We get a festival-ready moment of tension that sticks for way longer than I assumed it would, chopping up RoRo’s vocals into an entirely new hook, as the breakbeats ramp up in intensity amidst all the reverb and filters, only for it to tighten right back up again. If I’m honest, I do feel kind of cheaped out of a good climax here, and I’m kind of underwhelmed by the “drop” if you can call it that – it feels more like just returning to the song as usual, with not much changed in terms of melodies or synth layering, and especially not production, to make it feel all that worth it. Maybe an extended mix would help me enjoy this since it brings the potential for more build-up and more punch, and I have no doubt this would go hard thrown in a DJ mix, but I feel like it’s not quite there for me yet, which is a shame since this sound usually clicks with me immediately. There’s a great foundation here, with good ideas, but it just doesn’t hit like I want it to.  

#20 – “Dance the Night” (From Barbie the Album) – Dua Lipa

Produced by Mark Ronson, Picard Brothers and Andrew Wyatt

I could not care less for the Barbie movie, but a star-studded soundtrack with Mark Ronson at the helm sounds like more my speed, especially if it’s going to go all-out with the camp style of the brand. I do feel Ronson could potentially fumble this by wanting to make it feel cool, which really shouldn’t be happening when one of the songs is a cover of Aqua’s “Barbie Girl” with Nicki Minaj and Ice Spice... but I’ll definitely be listening to it when it comes out to hear if Ronson spares his dignity on this record, which he really shouldn’t when considering what he’s actually making the soundtrack for. This Dua Lipa single is the lead-off for the Barbie moment of the Summer, and... yeah, this sure sounds like a Future Nostalgia song. Given “We’re Good” and “Sweetest Pie”, I wasn’t really excited for whatever Dua was seemingly going to put out sound-wise but at least it was a bit different to what we’d already heard her try and succeed with flying colours at. This just feels like Ronson re-sparking the magic of that last Dua album and I mean, you can’t really fail with that? The strings are immense, the claps are alive, and Dua’s ad-libs and harmonies feel perfectly orchestrated alongside the groove, which is something Mark Ronson has always been great at. Something else he’s great at is making something that means completely nothing sound as cinematic as possible – and given this song is just about, well, dancing and fun and some PG romance, the strings and twinkling keys do a lot of heavy lifting in making this feel like well, anything, yet it still just kind of feels muddy. The mix is dynamic, sure, but the groove is unchanging apart from the Disney pre-chorus, which we don’t always get, and whilst I love the harmonies and vocal riffing Dua engages in here, it feels like it’s covering up a melodically void chorus, one that’s not as catchy and honestly too covered in sprinkles to really work for me. I know, I know, I said I didn’t want him to spare his dignity, but I feel like he fell into that exact trap I was suspecting – Dua doesn’t get any funny lines or inflections, the song feels orchestrated which is a gift and a curse, and the songwriting is kind of rote. With this Barbie album, I want less serviceable pop music and more sacrifices – it would probably fit with the movie and brand more than he thinks it does. Alas, this is still a decent song, just not one that really elevates to a higher level like much of Future Nostalgia did. There’s some life missing here.

#18 – “Hits Different” – Taylor Swift

Produced by Taylor Swift, Aaron Dessner and Jack Antonoff

This originally Target-exclusive track from Midnights was naturally a fan favourite to be added onto streaming and with the newest reissue, this was one of the three tracks added – the other two were alternate versions previously mentioned in this episode. I’m sure for Swifties this was worth the wait but I don’t like this at all. “Hits Different” is about a vivid breakup that’s just so much more impactful than the others because of how the relationship felt. We’ve got an acoustic guitar pickup that really could find better use in some indie rock, that gets muddied with some gross-sounding percussion that hits in full force in a chorus alongside Antonoff’s buzzy synths and a really awkward cadence from Taylor that feels a bit outside of what she wants to do? I don’t know, pretty much all of the melodies here feel like reaches for Taylor’s voice and inflections, especially with harmonies that get kind of messy, and whilst that very much could be the intention for a song about a “catastrophic” breakup, it doesn’t really hit that this means all that much as she claims it to. Sure, it’s in the writing, but by the time we get to Taylor’s borderline yelling and rapping in the bridge, I’m confused to why this isn’t in full mourning mode. If it’s not easy to move on, why is the song so breezy and flowery in how she sloppily moves through overwritten lines? That third verse also feels kind of tacked on and unnecessarily dissonant for a song that just ends up continuing as if nothing’s changed. I suppose it’s a fine pop song, but it feels like the fundamentals aren’t there so they just pumped it with nicely-produced Jack Antonoff Juice to make it sound realised. Even when charting in the top 20, this is still a bonus track and honestly for good reason.

#15 – “It’s Crazy” – J Hus

Produced by Fumes Beats

And finally, we end the episode with the comeback of J Hus and... man, this is devilish. The beat from Fumes Beats is pretty standard drill with a particularly menacing acoustic guitar, oddly infectious vocal loops and a hard-hitting 808, but Hus is really the main story here, and he’s completely unhinged in borderline sadistic violence, with a flow that is basically Ol’ Dirty Bastard levels of just barely staying on beat yet still piquing your interest with menace and madness. The comic antagonism gets to really interesting places, especially when he basically just starts talking, criticising people for wanting to see him as a villain when he’s living his life peacefully before immediately back-tracking and saying he’s been feeling evil recently – but not recently, just forever. There’s a rasp and grit to his voice here, but it’s not overwhelming or fully aggressive, making it feel even more out-there and honestly damn near creepy, with a great rhyme scheme in the first verse making up for the purposefully awkward silences. The first verse starts with psychological torture and the second starts with just straight-up sadistic torture, with a build-up of eerie Halloween synths that really makes this feel as evil as possible. It’s not surprising he compares himself to the Joker, but calling himself the “father” of pain and trauma goes unnecessarily hard, and he even admits to murder giving him a boner. There’s a soaring screech of strings that just barely intercepts the bass in the second half of the second verse and, no pun intended, it is killer, and leads very well back into the chorus, if you can call it that. I didn’t really expect the highest debut this week to be as murderous as this, but as someone who likes their hardcore rap particularly unhinged, I’m surprised to see this as a lead single, but definitely not complaining. This is insane.

Conclusion

I feel like I need to give J Hus Best of the Week for “It’s Crazy” since I’m pretty sure if I don’t, I won’t see another chart, but it’s not like he doesn’t deserve it, with the very close Honourable Mention going to Lil Durk for “Pelle Coat”. Good week for paranoid murder raps, I guess. As for the rest, it really wasn’t a standout week in either extreme, but I think I’m giving Worst of the Week to Taylor Swift for “Hits Different” with a Dishonourable Mention to “Talibans” by Byron Messia, just for being pretty boring. For what’s on the horizon, I think we can expect an overthrow at the very top, but elsewhere, I guess we’ll find out. Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you next week!

[tyler-kin]

MAN IT'S BEEN 2 WEEKS SINCE I SAID I'D DO REQS UH expect art posts 2day :]

[damnhotmsimmons]

Episode 7-What Doesn’t Kill Us..

...makes us stronger. Lol, kidding. Though why the hell did they changed the title at the last minute (it was supposed to be Pieces of Me), it’s not giving the show any favors considering how 16x06 end up. Anyway, here are my thoughts for this episode

caution, spoilers below:

so a woman is trapped somewhere

are those air vents?

For a second, I thought that lady was Nicole Kang from Batwoman

There’s another victim somewhere? 

Now I can why this has a horror movie feel to it

wtf?! Bailey reciting the bookend quotes?

Emily looking fine as always

wait, Garcia is gonna confide to Emily about Tyler?

nvm, Bailey interrupted them. Dammit Bailey, why did you had to had to interrupt some meaningful lady bonding?

Bailey being nervous talking to the Attorney General is not what I expect from him after being an Obstructive Bureaucrat

Emily being so done with politics and getting after nearly dying multiple times is hilarious

not to mention her confusion when Bailey admits he’s nervous and not liking these types of meetings

Again, why is it always the men interrupting any lady bonding, why couldn’t JJ be the one to talk to Tara about her and Rebecca. No offense to Rossi, plus we could have gotten Tara and JJ bonding

You’re not an idiot Tara, Rebecca is being stubborn regardless of her reasons

Rossi being a dad and telling Tara to take three days off

Emily being dramatic af and threatening to resign with Bailey (surprisingly) defending her

Not the Attorney General accusing the BAU of being “distracted” by the Sicarius case

wait, so the case in West Virginia isn’t connected to the Sicarius storyline?

lights? What is this, stranger things?

“Help me.” oh shit, and it’s in blood

Rossi being a dad

So Tara is working on a separate case, which has to deal with Moose based on the sneak peek

Rossi being so done with Bailey, and his reaction to Bailey joining him on the team is hilarious

“Thank you for welcoming us.” “I didn’t” I can’t lmfao

Bailey debriefing 

“What Agent Jareau”

Seriously, not the bureau taking away their jet again, they just got it 

Bailey is me in a group project

So we’re back to some domestic!Elias, reminding the viewers that he’s still a family man

“I will literally murder you.” Sydney sweetie, your husband is a literal serial killer

not these flashbacks

wtf?! another vision

Luke’s reaction to Rossi knowing about whips

another Reid reference

Luke knowing his scriptures, and his grandmother being religious

so the victim is an ex-convict

Bailey taking

Emily stopping Garcia and wanting to know about her and Tyler Green

Emily being a mood when she hears about the kiss

New back at the BAU Garcia being more impulsive and committed to pleasure, she couldn’t have done that to Luke?

Emily telling Garcia she gave her a migraine instead of a headache with the kiss imfao

“You have to break it off with him.” Emily being the majority of the fandom

“Unless you have a time machine..” gotta love sassy Emily

Emily being grossed out when Garcia tells her Tyler spent the night at her place even if it’s not sex haha

Doug being very sympathetic in the interview is not what I’d expect

his father being a hippie in the 60s was also interesting

so the blonde lady, Grace, is still alive, so far and is trying to help the other captive lady, Ashley

at the sneak peek

Tara sa

Garcia telling Tara to call Rebecca and apologize. I appreciate Garcia trying to help Tara

Not Garcia hanging up on Tyler after telling Tara to call Rebecca

The BAU and Bailey delivering the profiler to local police and the campus 

this headmaster being an ass

so Grace has been there for a while

Not another Elias vision, where he kills his family (again)

no, don’t hurt Grace, and Ashley

Tara interviewing Tawny, surprised she didn’t suspect Elias yet. I loved how she called Tara out for being distracted while praying

oh no, not Sydney confronting Elias outside and at night 

Sydney has a rough childhood?

What does Sydney know about Elias?

Shit shit shit, Elias almost tried to kill his own wife till he learns that she knows he got fired

no, please don’t die Grace

Bailey not in a suit makes him look like a suburban dad with that shirt

So it’s the first time seeing him in the field

Bailey’s dad seems like a much bigger asshole than him

of course Emily would tell Rossi and Rossi seems more delighted to be disappointed in Bailey. Matt, Luke, Reid and Morgan are his favorite “sons”

“Come and get it motherfucker.” Get it Ashley, justice for Grace

oh shit, Grace is alive (barely)

Emily and Bailey going in to save the girls

I got anxiety seeing Ashley struggling to find the right key

Thank god she escaped, moreso that she found Emily and Bailey in time

Them inside the building feels like a horror movie

I wished Emily didn’t go alone to stop the unsub

Never thought I’d be relieved to see Bailey there and stop the unsub

Bailey being shaken after seeing blood in his hands

Elias is losing his family, it was inevitable but it’s a pain to watch

I still want to give Tara a hug

Aww, Will waiting for JJ by the elevator

“adult supper” willifer having date night

Tara watching JJ and Will having a moment, my heart. She’s thinking about Rebecca and wished it was them

Tara and Rebecca deserved to go on a date night, fuck you cm writers

Poor Emily, the attorney general closed the Sicarius case

ugh, Tyler at Garcia’s apartment. Also, the messy hair looks bearable than the slicked back hairstyle he got

oh no no no no no, please are they about to-

Emily is somewhere losing her shit and having two migraines again

It should have been Luke, this is bullshit

So Rossi found Elias in the cctv footage, while Elias is trying to hide and bury more evidence

I swear if this sets up a final confrontation between Rossi and Elias, I don’t want it, Garcia should do that

I had to be informed by @marvelfanlife that there was a post credits scene in this episode. I watched it and....yea, aftermath of the “love scene” *vomits*

I will say that while I still don’t like Greencia, the post credits scene was undeniably hilarious. “Redecorating” my ass. Garcia’s neighbor was funny. Still, it could have been garvez

They fucked on the table? Is Garcia a top? The same table where Luke gave Garcia a kiss on the cheek. Thank god for those books to cover up Tyler

again, does that mean top/dom!Garcia confirmed?

  I wil say that this episode was a slight step up compared to last week’s episode, though I still have some issues with certain stuff like the greencia scenes, the Rebecca drama, and the lack of JJ and Luke in this episode. I don’t know how to feel about Bailey, I guess I hate him less since he does have a conscience, though this doesn’t erase all the terrible things he said to Emily and I wished she doesn’t forgive him so easily. At least this episode has some more good moments to balance out the bad stuff (like the greencia scenes). I was relieved to see some female interactions after having so little in the past. Seeing how Aisha directed this episode also explains the slight improvement this episode had. It’s not perfect but I’m more likely to rewatch this episode more than 16x06

[blood-sucking-freaks]

'When's the last time you showered you fucking grease rat'

[nu metal/industrial rock, best if shuffled]

Last Resort by Papa Roach

Coming Undone by Korn

Falling Away from by Korn

Wait And Bleed by Slipknot

Spit It Out by Slipknot

Surfacing by Slipknot

Freak On A Leash by Korn

Before I Forget by Slipknot

Vermillion by Slipknot

Blind by Korn

Disasterpiece by Slipknot

Opium Of The People by Slipknot

Pulse Of The Maggots by Slipknot

Duality by Slipknot

Twisted Transistor by Korn

Got The Life by Korn

Another Brick In The Wall Pt. 1,2,3 by Korn

Y’all Want A Single by Korn

Here To Stay by Korn

Thoughtless by Korn

Trash by Korn

It’s On! by Korn

All In The Family by Korn

Right Now by Korn

Eyeless by Slipknot

(sic) by Slipknot

Diluted by Slipknot

People = Shit by Slipknot

No Life by Slipknot

The Virus Of Life by Slipknot

Word Up! by Korn

The Blister Exists by Slipknot

Left Behind by Slipknot

The Heretic Anthem by Slipknot

A.D.I.D.A.S. by Korn

Getting Away With Murder by Papa Roach

Brackish by Kittie

Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit

Mr. Jack by System Of A Down

Whatever by Godsmack

Alone I Break by Korn

Everything Ends by Slipknot

Voodoo by Godsmack

Charlotte by Kittie

Spit by Kittie

What I Always Wanted by Kittie

Bad Religion by Godsmack

Do You Think I’m A Whore? by Kittie

Moon Baby by Godsmack

Awake by Godsmack

Welcome by Slipknot

Keep Away by Godsmack

Dead Bodies Everywhere by Korn

Raven by Kittie

Broken Home by Papa Roach

Trippin’ by Kittie

The Nameless by Slipknot

Get Off (You Can Eat A Dick) by Kittie

Paperdoll by Kittie

Liberate by Slipknot

Suck by Kittie

Choke by Kittie

Pretty by Korn

Prosthetic by Slipknot

Me inside by Slipknot

My Plague by Slipknot

Only One by Slipknot

Custer by Slipknot

Three Nil by Slipknot\

A Different World by Korn feat. Corey Taylor

Chop Suey! by System of A Down

Prelude 3.0 by Slipknot

Sinner by Drowning Pool

B.B.K. by Korn

No Way by Korn

Seed by Korn

Beg For Me by Korn

In The End by Linkin Park

Reclaim My Place by Korn

Justin by Korn

My Own Worst Summer (Shove It) by Deftones

Counting by Korn

My Gift To You by Korn

Children of the Korn by Korn

Shoots And Ladders by Korn

Scissors by Slipknot

Killing In The Name by Rage Against The Machine

Did My Time by Korn

I Am Hated by Slipknot

Control by Puddle Of Mudd

Don’t Stay by Linkin Park

Somebody Someone by Korn

Psycho by Puddle Of Mudd

Let’s Get This Party Started by Korn

One Step Closer by Linkin Park

Hey daddy by Korn

Faint by Linkin Park

Make Me Bad by Korn

Points Of Authority by Linkin Park

Qwerty by Mushroomhead

Purity by Slipknot

Pushing Me Away by Linkin Park

Crawling by Linkin Park

Papercut by Linkin Park

Now Or Never by Godsmack

Eeyore by Slipknot

The Shape by Slipknot

Tattered & Torn by Slipknot

Death Blooms by Mudvayne

New Abortion by Slipknot

Figure.09 by Linkin Park

Metabolic by Slipknot

Dig by Mudvayne

Skin Ticket by Slipknot

Wake Up by Korn

Gently by Slipknot

Dirty by Korn

Greed by Godsmack

Drift And Die by Puddle Of Mudd

Sick Of Life by Godsmack

Forget To Remember by Mudvayne

Immune by Godsmack

Stupify by Disturbed

Blurry by Puddle Of Mudd

Tear Away by Drowning Pool

Wish You Could Be Me by Korn

All Over Me by Drowning Pool

Happy? by Mudvayne

Droppin’ Plates by Disturbed

With You by Linkin Park

Voices by Disturbed

The Game by Disturbed

Bored by Deftones

Forgive Me by Godsmack

A Place For My Head by Linkin Park

Machinehead by Bush

Sober by TOOL

Goin’ Down by Godsmack

Hole In The Earth by Deftones

Reload by Rob Zombie

Clown by Korn

Faget by Korn

Shout 2000 by Disturbed

Stress by Godsmack

Between Angels And Insects by Papa Roach

Forgotten by Linkin Park

Good God by Korn

Liar by Korn

Ball Tongue by Korn

Around The Fur by Deftones

Evolution by Korn

Pain by Kittie

Oracle by Kittie

Hollow Life by Korn

Reminded by Drowning Pool

Sermon by Drowning Pool

Fake by Korn

I Am by Drowning Pool

Mask - Demo by Drowning Pool

Push It by Static-X

Told You So by Drowning Pool

Runaway by Linkin Park

Lying From You by Linkin Park

Care Not - Demo by Drowning Pool

From The Inside by Linkin Park

Mute by Drowning Pool

Hit The floor by Linkin Park

Follow by Drowning Pool

No One’s There by Korn

Determined by Mudvayne

Helmet In The Bush by Korn

Darkness by Rage Against The Machine

Remedy by Seether

Dead Souls by Nine Inch Nails

Bled For Days by Static-X

Needles by System Of A Down

Just by Mudvayne

Bulls On Parade by Rage Against The Machine

Predictable by Korn

Infest by Papa Roach

Dead Cell by Papa Roach

Blood Brothers by Papa Roach

Rachael by She Wants Revenge

Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge

Change (In The House Of Flies) by Deftones

Wake Up Hate by Korn

Mr. Self Destruct by Nine Inch Nails

Heresy by Nine Inch Nails

March Of The Pigs by Nine Inch Nails

Closer by Nine Inch Nails

I Do Not Want This by Nine Inch Nails

She Will Always Be A Broken Girl by She Wants Revenge

Loco by Coal Chamber

Bradley by Coal Chamber

Oddity by Coal Chamber

Unspoiled by Coal Chamber

Big Truck by Coal Chamber

Sway by Coal Chamber

First by Coal Chamber

I by Coal Chamber

Clock by Coal Chamber

My Frustration by Coal Chamber

Dreamtime by Coal Chamber

Tragedy by Coal Chamber

El Cu Cuy by Coal Chamber

Untrue by Coal Chamber

Tyler’s Song by Coal Chamber

What’s In Your Mind by Coal Chamber

Not Living by Coal Chamber

Burgundy by Coal Chamber

Entwined by Coal Chamber

My Mercy by Coal Chamber

No Home by Coal Chamber

Shari Vegas by Coal Chamber

Notion by Coal Chamber

Anything But You by Coal Chamber

Fiend by Coal Chamber

Denial by Sevendust

Let The Music Do The Talking by P.O.D.

Who Is Right? By P.O.D.

Before I Die by Mushroomhead

Xeroxed by Mushroomhead

Exploiting Your Weakness by Mushroomhead

Born Of Desire by Mushroomhead

Solitaire Unraveling by Mushroomhead

Never Let It Go by Mushroomhead

Chancre Sore by Mushroomhead

Too Much Nothing by Musroomhead

Episode 29 by Mushroomhead

Kill Tomorrow by Mushroomhead

The Dream Is Over by Mushroomhead

Our Apologies by Mushroomhead

Devils Be Damned by Mushroomhead

This Cold Reign by Mushroomhead

Suffocate by Staind

Crawl by Staind

Spleen - Without Hidden Track by Staind

Freaking Out by Adema

The Way You Like It by Adema

Do What You Want To by Adema

Pain Inside by Adema

Speculum by Adema

Drowning by Adema

Immortal by Adema

Shattered by Adema

Co-Dependent by Adema

Rip The Heart Out Of Me by Adema

Stand Up by Adema

Unstable by Adema

Needles by Adema

Going Under by Evanescence

Bring Me To Life by Evanescence

Haunted by Evanescence

Taking Over Me by Evanescence

My Last Breath by Evanescence

Whisper by Evanescence

Toxic by Crazy Town

Think Fast by Crazy Town

Darkside by Crazy Town

Hollywood Babylon by Crazy Town

Face The Music by Crazy Town

Lollipop Porn by Crazy Town

B-Boy 2000 by crazy Town

Decorated by Crazy Town

Drowning by Crazy Town

Lovesong by Snake River Conspiracy

More Than Love by Snake River Conspiracy

Strangled by Snake River Conspiracy

Oh Well by Snake River Conspiracy

Intake by Spineshank

Stovebolt by Spineshank

Where We Fall by Spineshank

Detached by Spineshank

Slipper by Spineshank

40 below by Spineshank

Strictly Diesel by Spineshank

*28 by Spineshank

While My Guitar Gently Weeps by Spineshank

If It Breathes by Spineshank

Mend by Spineshank

Stain by Spineshank

Asthmatic - Edit by Spineshank

The Height Of Callousness by Spineshank

Synthetic by Spineshank

New Disease by Spineshank

(Can’t Be) Fixed by Spineshank

Play God by Spineshank

Malnutrition by Spineshank

Seamless by Spineshank

Negative Space by Spineshank

Transparent by Spineshank

Perfect Ending by Spineshank

Full Circle by Spineshank

Violent Mood Swings by Spineshank

Slavery by Spineshank

Consumed (Obsessive Compulsive) by Spineshank

Beginning Of The End by Spineshank

Forgotten by Spineshank

Tear Me Down by Spineshank

Falls Apart by Spineshank

Fallback by Spineshank

Dead To Me by Spineshank

I’m With Stupid by Static-X

Love Dump by Static-X

I Am by Static-X

Otsegolation by Static-X

Beg by Saliva

Superstar by Saliva

Musta Been Wrong by Saliva

Click Click Boom by Saliva

Mindtrip by Nonpoint

Victim by Nonpoint

Misled by Nonpoint

Double Stakked by Nonpoint

Orgullo by Nonpoint

Tribute by Nonpoint

Development by Nonpoint

Loose by Primer 55

Supa Freak Love by Primer 55

G’s by Primer 55

Pigs by Primer 55

Stain by Primer 55

Set It Off by Primer 55

Introduction To Mayhem by Primer 55

The Big F*** You by Primer 55

Violence by Primer 55

Tripinthehead by Primer 55

A Violent Reaction by American Head Charge

Snot by Snot

Joy Ride by Snot

Deadfall by Snot

I Jus’ Lie by Snot

Unplugged by Snot

Starlit Eyes by Snot feat. Serj

Take It Back by Snot feat. Jonathan

Requiem by Snot feat. Corey

Defaced by Nothingface

Perfect Person by Nothingface

Pacifier by Nothingface

Blood Pigs by Otep

T.R.I.C. by Otep

Battle Ready by Otep

Fillthee by Otep

Buried Alive by Otep

Hooks And Splinters by Otep

Crooked Spoons by Otep

Confrontation by Otep

Noose & Nail by Otep

Supernova Goes Pop by Powerman 5000

Tonight The Stars Revolt! by Powerman 5000

Automatic by Powerman 5000

Neckbone by Powerman 5000

Bombshell by Powerman 5000

South Texas Deathride by The Union Underground

One Step (Chop Shop Mix AKA Scott Humphrey Mix) by Coal Chamber

No Sleep by Primer 55

Pig by Coal Chamber

Dirthouse by Static-X

Skinnyman by Static-X

The Only by Static-X

Snap - Demo by Slipknot

Sleeping Awake by P.O.D.

[destinygoldenstar]

Total Drama: Refilming Action ; Episodes 1-6

I will say right now, that because this is a 9 hour long season, I’m not going to address the entire season in one go. Instead, I’ll be splitting this rewrite up to four separate parts. This is because I’m NOT just going to address what I would change and what I would not change, but rather retrospect this rewrite from as much detail as I can, that’s how I usually do things. Plus I think it’ll flow better. 

I won’t go into as much detail with stuff that I didn’t change, but still address them for the story’s sake.

And if you’re wondering about the context with Island, I’m keeping the canon story of Island the same, and applying it to this rewrite. What logic from Island was carried over to Action, will apply, the same elimination order mentioned in Island, the same logic as to why some characters are in certain relationships with each other, everything. Not saying I wouldn’t tweak some things with Island, but overall that season was pretty great. There’s only one thing about Island that I’m changing to carry over to Action, and I’ll get to it later. 

For Action, I am going to keep the core aspect and rules of the challenges in each episode, unless it really REALLY doesn’t make sense, and I’ll address that. But the core themes of each will be the same, is what I’m trying to say. 

Like, episode 1 is a monster theme, episode 7 is a prison theme, episode 17 is a superhero theme, etc, just like in the canon, so that everyone KNOWS what episodes I’m talking about, even if they’re not familiar with the titles of each episode. 

The only major thing I’m going to change with this, and might as well say it now: Episode 25 will NOT be the finalist challenge, but rather the semi-final challenge with the final three, and the finalists will be put to the test in episode 26 in Aftermath before the voting for the winner takes place. 

That’s another thing I’m going to address. The elimination order in this rewrite is NOT the same. In this first half, there’s not a lot of change to that, but as the season progresses it’ll become more blatant that this elimination order is not the same as in the canon. So really, this is anyone’s game, and who the finalists are will be a mystery!

This is going to be a VERY rough overview, and I’m going to be going in as much detail as I can to the changes I made to the original canon. 

However, there will be some brief lines or background details from canon that I won’t touch on, because it would be pointless, and unless I say it’s cut out, or if I don’t mention the scene it’s in at all, it’s probably still in this version. 

(For example: “Nope. Call 911” won’t be mentioned) 

A lot of those kinds of details could be fleshed out in the episode script. But if I go into THAT much detail, this rewrite will be WAY too long, and take like, 5 years to produce!! So please cut me some slack if I don’t mention some of your favorite details of the season!

If you don’t think something quite adds up, or if there’s any important stuff you think I missed, please, PLEASE, reply down below, I’d love to hear it! (Friendly notes, constructive criticism, and speculations for the rewrite are all welcomed!) 

So, with all of this out of the way, there’s one last important detail I want to mention:

While the original contestants in the season: Owen, Gwen, Heather, Duncan, Leshawna, Geoff, Izzy, DJ, Lindsey, Bridgette, Trent, Harold, Beth, Justin, and later Courtney, are all in this rewrite as well, I’m going to ADD two characters to this cast.

Tyler.

And Noah.

Why do this? Why these guys? 

Well with some certain plotlines of the season, I genuinely think these two will be the best of aid to spice them up. Plus with how many non-elimination episodes there are this season, I think adding eliminations for them won’t be so hard.

So, in a 16 way tie, campers are taken to the film sets for a whole new season of Total Drama, in a fight for $1,000,000. Who will come out as the finalists?

Well, let’s dive in!

Episode 1: Monster Cash

The season begins with a recap of the finale of season one. Not much to change with this aside from a goof where Chris said Gwen won instead of Owen (like, the alternate version of Island was lost until recently, so this makes no sense either way) and it’s a sixteen way tie instead of fourteen for this rewrite, of course.

And then the original intro itself is actually quite good, so much so that the only tweaks I have to make are the additions of Noah and Tyler. Noah is sneaking out the door the sasquatch walks by to steal a bottle of sorts, and Justin in the make up shot is about to pick up a perfume but finds it missing, prompting the powder coming in and getting in his face. This is one of those small details people can probably be able to pick up on after multiple viewings to figure out these character’s dynamic being portrayed in this intro. 

Tyler meanwhile is in the camera room with Lindsey, eyeing her, playing with a yo-yo to try and get her attention, but as the screen shows the explosion, the yo-yo hits him in the head and knocks him out, making Lindsey’s eyes meet him just as it cuts to Izzy and the bear. 

The rest of this intro is pretty much untouched, as these additions I feel will make the awkward shot of Chris and Chef on the stage with the awards shorter, because… that shot just feels held way too long and it’s always bothered me.

The episode opens like in the original with the bus arriving at the lot, and the interactions with the people getting off the bus, Duncan, Leshawna, Harold, Gwen and Heather, are all completely untouched. 

However, instead of the bus just leaving and preventing reintroductions of the others for some reason, we keep going with the other characters getting off the bus. 

First is Trent offering Gwen a hand after she crashed due to Heather, where she blushes and agrees to it. He asks if she’s ready for this, and Gwen says no, adding that she’s glad that he’s stuck here with her. 

Gwen then snarkily replies to him “Hey, at least we’re not awkward creeps like the surfer chicks over there.” 

And as she points a thumb out by the bus door, Geoff and Bridgette walk out already making out without a care in the world. 

DJ gets off to ask if this is the actual stop, prompting Noah to lean on the bus door and ask “What other stop did you think there was?” 

It prompts Heather to agree with Noah on that by saying she’s not staying here, and also prompts the hair weaves exchange with her and Leshawna.

Owen is then seen trying to get out of the door, but due to Noah in the way he gets stuck, and as Owen is able to suck it in and get out with a grin on his face and remark how great it is to be doing this again, Noah is seen on the ground crumbled. And then gets stepped on the groin by Izzy jumping out as well to hug Owen’s back, where the two exchange excitement about them both being in such an awesome looking place. (And yes for this whole rewrite I’m calling her Izzy, but the E-Scope thing is still here, so that no ones confused) 

Next up is Beth coming out grinning in an agreement on the new season, prompting Leshawna to notice her braces removed, and making her compliment about it. Justin comes out as well to compliment her at it, and his looks already charm Beth enough that she openly expresses how good this feels. Lindsey trips over the door, but still compliments Beth as well and they make their Paris BFF exchange.

Tyler comes out of the bus from behind them as the last one out, but notices Lindsey and Beth are so excited with the whole Paris thing that he simply tries to make a cool pose to have her notice him again, but it’s cut off by Chris coming with the trailer. (And Lindsey doesn’t even look in Tyler’s direction.)

The bus leaves, and Chris comes in to escort everyone. Izzy’s boarding, the tour around the sets, the introduction to the Lame-O-Sine, are all untouched. The only tweak I’m adding is a bit with Noah commenting on the Lame-O-Sine itself, just as the campers get blown with the limo gas, he asks if this film set has any regards to sanitary, with Chris shutting him up, commenting that he doesn’t know how that would be of any importance. (I mean, this IS Chris Mcclean.)

Lindsey’s confessional is also untouched for the most part, but one tweak here is that before the lipstick part she expresses how with luxury like this, this might as well be her season.

The next part of this tour is untouched, as well as Gwen’s confessional because… well A, Chris is an egotist, clearly, and B, who wouldn’t want one?

I’m going to cut out the Geoff and Chris exchange about the eject seats though, not because it’s not in character for Chris, but because of basic logic. The trailer has a roof. Where would they be launched to? Plus there’s never a demonstration of this in the episode so… what’s the point? The Harold and Lindsey comments are fine though, I’ll keep those. 

And overall the monster movie explanation and the legend of the animatronic monster is untouched, as well as Gwen’s confessional about how she shouldn’t have asked what happened to it. (Worst mistake of her life)

Just like in the original, that confessional cuts just as a roar from the distance is heard. From there, the scene is mostly untouched, DJ faints, Chris explains the challenge with Chef controlling the monster, and everyone tries to shove each other off the trailer with Harold getting thrown out entirely. Only a few tweaks are needed like Tyler being a part of the shoving, with him being the one to shove away Trent with overexaggerated jogging, only for Harold to karate chop him. Another thing is that the challenge is not to get to the trailers first, but rather to be the last one standing and not getting caught by the monster. (Because seriously, if the monster is supposed to PREVENT them from getting to the trailers, why would they park the bouncy castle prison RIGHT NEXT TO THE TRAILERS?!)

Instead of cutting to the campers running away on the beach set, Owen commenting how cool the monster is, and awkwardly cutting to DJ, we just start with DJ after Chris makes his comment about how it’s going to be a long season, where he rolls his eyes at the fainted DJ before petting the guy’s head calmly to wake him up, making DJ latch onto Chris’s legs to whimper. 

THEN we cut to the campers running away on the beach set, Owen commenting on how cool the monster is, and Izzy getting ‘captured'. Owen calling out for Izzy to dodge the hand doesn’t get through to her, for obvious reasons, but she still sees the hand and is swatted to the crane. However as she asks them to do it again, Owen runs over to try and help her, but instead of her being taken to the bouncy house, Izzy bites into the monster’s grip and manages to pull out part of the skin and reveal wires, prompting it to drop her. Owen is eyeing her in awe just as she grabs his hand for them to continue running, saying she knows where they can hide. 

However, we don’t cut to Owen hiding in the confessional, because what Owen says in that confessional makes absolutely no sense, like… what part of her crazily wanting a monster to step on her is implied that she’s cheating on Owen? I mean Owen and Izzy are both crazy, but they’re not lustful. So yeah, I’m cutting this confessional altogether. 

Instead we instantly go over to the next group, where it’s untouched. Bridgette and Geoff are making out, Gwen and Trent question where to go, they get the suggestion from Justin to follow him, and Duncan’s comment on how this wasn’t the sort of action Chris had in mind.

And yes I’m also keeping the Bridgette and Geoff confessionals, because what they say there is going to play a factor later in the season.

We don’t cut to Gwen Trent and Duncan’s next part just yet, so instead we immediately follow the confessional up with Bridgette and Geoff getting captured. The way Bridgette and Geoff get captured is pretty okay, as well as Leshawna and Harold’s capture. 

But there is a tweak here with the Bridgette and Geoff capture being seen from Harold’s point of view as he’s hiding under the umbrella, where the two appear as shadows to him and he as well as the audience are unable to see the bouncy castle yet. 

Leshawna then comes in to expose his hiding place to get them both to start running, with Harold admiring her and smiling before she grabs his arm to get him running behind her. And just like in canon, the monster catches them both. Although we still don’t see the bouncy castle yet, to add momentum to the scene and a mystery as to the fate of the captured campers. So instead of doing it when they hit the castle, Harold says it while they’re still in the monster’s grip, trying to replicate Geoff’s words and confessing love for Leshawna, who just like in canon, exclaims “Say what now?!”

We then cut to Gwen, Trent, and Duncan running down the streets of the city set, along with Gwen jinxing the mention of explosions, bears, and fires, which is untouched. Justin is also with them, but as the monster appears amongst one of the flaming buildings, all but Justin are able to dodge just in time, leading Justin to get captured and Chef’s comment on how hot he is.

Justin’s confessional is untouched, but I am cutting out the scene with him getting in the bouncy house and everyone staring at him admirably, not because it’s bad, but again, the audience doesn’t know about the bouncy house yet in this rewrite.

We then cut to Tyler sprinting about among the streets of the city set, eyeing one fake building and attempting to climb on top of it after eyeing a certain lamppost with tan arms and a cartoonishly large bust poking out. 

Unfortunately because it’s Tyler, the pipe he tries to climb up on turns out to be cardboard and snaps, causing him to crash to the ground.

The post, well I’m pretty sure we all know it’s Lindsey. 

So Lindsey peeks out curiously and eyes Tyler laying on his back, where she runs over to ask if he’s okay. She helps him up as Tyler expresses he’s mighty fine, saying it’s all good as long as she’s here. With that, the two stare into each other’s eyes admirably…

Until the moment is ruined by Lindsey asking “Who are you again?”

They don’t get a chance to say anything else as a roar in the distance prompts them to start running, but they’re both pushed aside by Heather, demanding them to get out of her way. As she’s grasping onto her wig from another roar, she attempts to run into the building set and hide. Unfortunately for her, she’s shoved out by Noah demanding her to back off, and as he peeks out of the fake door he proclaims that this… well, this was his hiding spot. 

Heather angrily tries to get inside anyway, scolding Noah “Sorry know-it-all, but in case you haven’t noticed, I, a far more valuable being, needs this spot more!”

“Mm… I’m not sure about that,” Lindsey comments in the back, which makes Heather snap at her to shut up. This causes Tyler to put a hand on Lindsey’s shoulder in comfort. 

“Seems like you got no votes,” Noah replies, “And I’d rather keep my hair in one piece, thank you.”

He tries to slam the door shut, but because it’s made of cardboard, it makes the whole building collapse behind them, exposing them all. 

Noah exclaims in frustration “Were these sets made for a school play?!” Just as the monster shows up behind them, capturing all four of them.

We then cut to Gwen, Trent, and Duncan continuing their run down the town. As the monster is chasing them, Duncan gives them the idea to hurtle behind a fake car, which they all oblige. There they find DJ scared as ever, hugging his legs and chattering teeth. Trent asks what he’s doing here, but before he can answer, the monster rips off the fake car and prompts all four of them to start running again. 

Amongst the sidewalk they run by is Beth, who is holding up a cardboard bush to hide, where she peeks out to see the others running. Unfortunately the other four get cornered by an advertisement board of Chris and the Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails, (which of course is foreshadowing to that part in World Tour) 

The monster gangs up on them, and it seems like they’re going to get captured. That is until Beth, in a cute character development from Island, calls out from the back of the monster holding up the cardboard bush to try and lure it away. As they see the distraction, Trent prompts the others to follow him to sneak past the monster. As the monster grasps onto Beth, the four begin to run to a building, prompting to hide in it only to realize it’s fake. 

(I am not including one of Gwen’s confessionals, and cutting out the second one entirely, about Trent being a great boyfriend, because like, NOW IS NOT THE TIME!)

Because of this, the monster catches Gwen, Trent, and DJ, with Duncan mysteriously not being shown in the monster’s grip.

Thinking it’s the end, DJ prays to his mama and how much he loves her, while Trent ensures Gwen that he’s here for her, and he always will be. From this, Gwen has her confessional about how great of a boyfriend Trent is, saying that he’s a guy who understands her, and is willing to do everything for her. (Which of course would be a double edge sword)

That’s when the monster suddenly lets go of them, and they all crash to the ground.

As the screen fades out and comes back on, we focus on the sky for a second…

and suddenly see Gwen, Trent, and DJ bouncing into the air, which makes them all look down in shock, as it’s revealed after zooming out the camera that they’re being imprisoned in a bouncy castle. 

As the three of them crash inside officially, they look over at everyone else who's been captured (Bridgette, Geoff, Leshawna, Harold, Justin, Tyler, Lindsey, Heather, Noah, and Beth) as they all casually but dead-pannedly greet the new prisoners. DJ is simply grateful that he’s alive, while Gwen remarks in shock “Wait, so Chris had the decency to not have the monster eat us alive, and instead gave us a cozy place to rest and be imprisoned inside for the rest of our lives?!”

Which gets a reply from Noah, saying “I know, it’s absurd, isn’t it?!” Who is reading a book without a care in the world. 

As Gwen looks around, we get a few frames of Lindsey and Beth admiring Justin’s looks, with Tyler behind them with Lindsey in his arms, Heather fixing her wig, Bridgette and Geoff making out, and Harold gazing starry eyed at Leshawna, who scoots away from him. Seeing people missing, Gwen is about to say it, but Trent asks first “Where’s Duncan?”

We cut back to Duncan, who escaped the clutch of the monster, and is hiding behind the cardboard car. Ss Duncan comes out and cheekily remarks what lunatics the others were, the monster comes out to try and capture him. Duncan tries to back away, only for an arm to reach out for him…

But it doesn’t quite grab him, as the monster malfunctions, and is drawn back from an excessive amount of weight. As Duncan looks up, Owen is revealed on the monster’s back, barely hanging on to a spike, with his weight being enough to break the system. Izzy also reveals herself with a grin, revealing with only her laughter that their hiding place was on the monster’s back. She remarks how nobody has eyes on the back of their heads, but rambles on about how she wished she did and how she might have known somebody that does-

And her rambling is cut off by Owen having a confessional where he expresses how genius Izzy is. Sure, she’s a nut job and sometimes he can’t catch up, but she’s a mad genius, and an absolute magician. If he could kiss her, he would, “Wait-” he realizes just as it cuts back to the action… (yes pun intended)

Chef tries to get them off his back, but fails, and the monster malfunctions, prompting Owen and Izzy to be survivors alongside Duncan. Duncan exclaims in shock and confusion how this is possible, and Izzy gleefully responds how they went on a romantic date with it’s system while they were at their hiding, and it was absurdly beautiful… (god this show has a lot of fetish)

We then cut to the campers asleep at the bouncy castle, (no time change though) just as Duncan and Izzy come up to them, finding them all stranded by the trailers. Owen is behind them, but just like in the original he’s left dragging himself exhausted, but is still able to use the needle to pop the castle and free everyone. 

Chris welcomes them all to the trailers, and proclaims that this next challenge will be a reward between the three survivors as a tiebreaker, winner will be able to pick the trailer for their respective gender of contestants, inviting everyone to the crafts tent. So that NOW the purpose of the plastic food bit actually makes sense!

The feast itself is untouched. Owen eats everything without hesitation, Chris reveals all the food was fake, and Owen wins the challenge for the guys, prompting all the confessionals about the entire situation. 

All of these are untouched, however I am adding a last one with Noah. 

In this one, Noah smirks at the camera with his arms crossed, stating “So… this is the guy who won the last season, and THIS is why…? I’m sure there’s more to it than just eating plastic, but I gotta say, I like what I see.” His tone becomes malicious at the last part.

The rest of the scene is okay as it is, as well as the comedic bit where Owen chooses the squashed trailer, and the girls get excited, only for monster Chef to squash the other trailer as well… because it’s Chris and Chef. They get paid to torture teenagers.

After Izzy’s confessional, the campers prepare themselves for sleep. For the guys, it’s untouched except for the additions of Noah and Tyler. Tyler calls a top bunk, and tries to jump on top (only to slip and crash) and as Noah is trying to decide, the moment Owen calls a bunk next to Justin, Noah glares at Justin in disgust, and turns to decide to take the bottom of Tyler’s bunk, stepping over the crashed jock. 

The girls are completely untouched. There really isn’t anything else to add with them. No one wants to sleep with Heather because of her actions last season, they draw brushes, and they accidentally give Heather two beds all to herself… This isn’t too complicated.

The episode ends with Chris messing with the campers at 5 in the morning with the speaker, like the sociopath he is. (cutting out the Owen bit though, it ain't necessary) And Chris wonders to the audience what will happen next to his victims… I mean campers, before ending the episode with Chris demanding to put wrap on the monster.

Episode 2: Alien Resurr eggtion

Episode 2 opens with the contestants at the cafeteria getting breakfast. It’s untouched until Trent shows up to join in on Gwen and Duncan’s conversation. When Trent offers Gwen his toast, Gwen happily accepts it, with a kiss on his cheek as she tries to rip the toast in half for them both, finding it stale. Duncan glares at them raising an eyebrow, smirking that they’ll BE toast if they play favorites like this. Trent openly says that he’s cool with that if it’s Gwen, causing Duncan to ask playfully “Oh, so I’m not important enough for her to take toast from me?”

Which prompts Gwen to playfully shoot back, biting into her half of the toast “No. You just can’t be trusted with sharing.”

“Well don’t blame me for that,” Duncan replies, “We’re all enemies in this game.”

The rest of this conversation isn’t touched. Trent says he’ll always have Gwen’s back, Gwen says right back at him, and Duncan remarks that they’ll see if that's accurate once the money comes into play.

Instead of Owen having his confessional here, Leshawna is receiving her own plate as the others are glaring at Owen in confusion. Among her plate, she notices a paper of sorts behind her toast. Curious, she picks it up, her eyes immediately turning blank as she reads it.

The audience can’t see what the card says, and she doesn’t read it aloud, but on the front of the card, there’s a noticeable heart with an H + L written in it.

“Harold…” Leshawna groans to herself, looking up to see Harold glancing at her with a blush and a grin, awkwardly waving to her just before he coughs up a hair from the eggs. 

This is followed up by the confessionals from Leshawna and Harold (that in canon was later in this episode) about how she already told Harold that things between them weren’t meant to be. But maybe he just couldn’t get over her lusciousness. And Harold saying that Leshawna isn’t over him yet, and that he sees the way she looks at him…

(I mean, we all wanted to bang Leshawna at one point, so fair enough)

From there, Chris goes on to explain the challenge, where this whole scene, the challenge directions itself, Chef asking for payment, Gwen and Duncan’s exchange on their love of alien movies, and Gwen’s confessional, are all completely untouched. 

We then transition to the group with their tracking devices. This is all untouched, except for when Harold jumps into Leshawna’s arms, we don’t cut to any confessionals, because well, I moved them to earlier. Instead their awkwardness is countered by Noah walking past them, demanding “Let’s go lovebirds.” With Harold saying with a smile “Thanks.” Just as Leshawna puts him down. 

We cut to the people in the back, with Lindsey having the device. Because it’s Lindsey, she asks what the dots are supposed to mean, where Tyler offers to tell her that they mean… actually what do they mean again? 

“I know, right? It never makes sense!” Lindsey agrees, where the two share a chuckle. Lindsey asks if she ever got his name, to which Tyler plays along with that and gives her the name. 

“Tyler…” Lindsey tries to process that, smiling and giving a thumbs up at him, saying she’ll try to remember that. (Emphasis on ‘try’) 

There’s also a Tyler confessional here, where he remarks that Lindsey rocks his world, and he hopes that she’ll be able to remember him fondly. “I mean, who wouldn’t remember the most skilled player in this unit?”

Heather snatches the device from them, claiming that they don’t know what they’re doing, and her answer to why they’re in the group, plus Lindsey and Beth’s confessional about Heather are untouched. 

However, the campers aren’t thrown off by Geoff and Bridgette’s kissing, because… they’ve all smooched before, they should already know it’s them. Instead Bridgette and Geoff are making out in the back without a care in the world, and they don’t pay attention to the rest of the group trying to formulate a plan with the idea that Chef could be guarding the eggs, suggested by Beth. With this in mind, Gwen and Duncan lead the way before they make the next corner, making their ‘lets kick some alien butt’ exchange in the process. (We don’t cut to Chris for a split second here, so you know)

Just like in the original, everyone questions who should lead the way, and Beth ends up volunteering to go first. She makes the first mark to go, and everyone follows her, but Noah and Owen are in the back, leaning on the corner to find that Bridgette and Geoff aren’t coming. Noah makes the “do you ever stop sucking faces?” comment, with Owen replying in response “I wouldn’t.” 

Which makes Noah look up at him like he’s crazy, before leaving to join the others and Owen stammering “What?! You wouldn’t either, I-I mean, whatever you think, I mean-”

It’s cut off by a confessional from Noah, who makes a comment “On movie settings like this, I wish romance side plots were illegal.”

Then it cuts to Gwen’s confessional about her placing second last season, which is untouched.

From there, we cut back to the group and Beth leading them to a spiral room of sorts, where they get the warning signs on the devices, prompting everyone to split up. And Duncan shuns out Geoff and Bridgette just like in canon. Because… well he put it in the confessional, their love will very likely get them caught, especially with how little efficiency they’ve pulled off before. That makes sense. (Trust me, I’m shocked I kept this in) 

Instead of giving into this though, Bridgette, being the more straightforward of the two, prompts the idea that they should go south and look on their own. After all, love makes someone stronger, Duncan’s just delusional about that. 

Geoff agrees and compliments her on how smart she is, and she gives in, where the two make out as they run through the doors.

We cut to Owen, Heather, Izzy, Harold, and Noah, where Heather snaps them out of it in an attempt to band them together, but just like in canon no one trusts her and thinks this is just manipulation. Noah says “Well who cares if it’s manipulation as long as it means we don’t die?” Prompting Owen and Izzy to agree with him. Heather is about to thank him for the support, but Noah cuts her off and claims that he doesn’t do teaming up.

The rest of this scene is untouched, Harold and Owen get shot by Chef, they both have their confessionals, Heather (and Noah) steps back, and Izzy pulls out her own gun and has her battle with Chef, which results in her losing. The only tweak needed is that Geoff and Bridgette are not in this scene.

After the Chris cut, we go to Heather and Noah getting caught by Chef, and it’s untouched as she loses her wig, and the confessional that follows. The only tweak needed is that Noah is shot just as Heather starts running. 

Geoff and Bridgette are creeping their ways through their own hallways grasping each other's hands. From there, Bridgette nervously remarks “So… all this for a million bucks, huh?” 

“I mean, it sounds reasonable to me,” Geoff replies, deciding to ask Bridgette what she would do for a million bucks. Bridgette hesitates to answer, as she doesn’t know that herself. She asks what he would do, and Geoff hesitates as well, coming to the decision that if he had the privilege, he’d host his own show. When she asks him to clarify, he explains that it would be about discovering more of those who barely have the screen time to shine, finding out the drama of their lives, and being a part of aiding their situations through his parties. (I mean, this is Geoff, a guy who loves his parties)

Bridgette claims that he could make a great host, and Geoff admirably stares at her, flirting that THEY would make great hosts. “You and me,” he claims, “We’re like apples and oranges.”

“Wait, we’re opposites?” Bridgette asks, which makes Geoff stammer in embarrassment “What? No! No, I didn’t-that was the wrong phrase to use, I thought, you know, apples are great, and oranges are great too, but-”

He’s stopped by Bridgette kissing him, and they start making out once more. This is where Chef catches them just like in canon.

We then cut to Lindsey, Justin, Beth, Leshawna, and Tyler, where they get caught, and it’s completely untouched. The only tweak needed is Tyler encouraging Lindsey that she knows what she’s doing, right before they get locked in, which prompts him to chuckle at himself and remark “Maybe that’s a good thing?” And immediately after he says that, they get rained on.

We then cut to Gwen, Trent, Duncan, and DJ finding the boiler room, and the eggs. As Gwen is being lowered down into the boiler room, Chef barges in with the gun, and in the panic, Gwen is barely able to latch onto eggs in time. Chef is about to shoot at them, but DJ gets in front to sacrifice himself in an over dramatic fashion. As he hits the ground, he demands that the others save themselves, and the other three start running with the eggs. 

Chris then shows up with the nukes, and it gets Duncan out. And yes I’m keeping Trent’s confessional about Duncan despite my original intention to cut it, because ultimately, in this one at least, he does take into consideration how good this is for Gwen. 

However, we do NOT have the scene where Trent has to choose between the egg and the necklace. It’s pointless. If Duncan’s egg cracked on impact of the nuke, then either Gwen and Trent are still holding their eggs, or they’re busted. That’s just basic logic. Same goes for Gwen’s confessional, we’re not doing that. 

Trent and Gwen already have their eggs in their arms after Trent’s confessional, where they both tease Duncan as they begin running to home base with them. 

So just like in canon, Gwen and Trent are crowned as the winners of the challenge, only for the reveal that they’ll be team captains on opposite teams, and that it’ll be a double elimination.

So now we reach the voting sessions, where the votes have been casted, and losers have been selected…

Trent and Gwen are safe.

The awards go to Harold…

Duncan…

Izzy…

Tyler…

Lindsey…

Justin…

Beth…

Noah…

Owen…

DJ…

Leshawna…

And lastly…

Heather.

Which means that just like in canon, Geoff and Bridgette are eliminated first.

I’m cutting out all the confessionals about it, but these two still accept their loss and make out as they catch the limo of losers. (I don’t know if that’s actually what it’s called, but I like it)

And before any of you Bridgette and Geoff fans yell at me for keeping this elimination, I want to make it clear. Their story is NOT in the show. Their story is in the Aftermath Shows, THAT’S where their development is, and if they stayed in the show like this, they wouldn’t have anything to do. I do not have anything against Geoff or Bridgette, but I do think that this canon elimination was a good call.

Okay, back to the show.

Episode 3: Riot On Set

Episode 3, we start off immediately by cutting out the long sleeping shots of the campers, as that’s not necessary and goes on way too long. The only shot shown is Gwen, because she’s the only one shown reacting to Chris waking them up. Beth still has her confessional though, as well as everyone’s reactions to the wake up. 

From there, Chris goes on to explain how it’s time to form teams, where that and the Gwen and Trent exchange before, is untouched. 

So we start picking teams. Only here, no, we’re not doing the boy girl boy girl thing, because with Tyler and Noah here, there’s more guys than girls. 

Gwen goes first, and immediately chooses Duncan for her team.

Trent DOES have a confessional here, but it’s not about him in spite of Gwen’s choice. Instead, he remarks how she and Duncan would obviously get along, however, with the influence Duncan has, he’s going to spoil Gwen beyond repair, and he thought Gwen would be smart enough to see that. “You think you know a person”

Trent then chooses the BEAUTIFUL Lindsey for his team.

And again, Gwen has a confessional, but it’s not about her in spite of Trent’s choice. Instead, she claims that she thought Trent was going to think strategically with his choice, but ‘the beautiful?’ She doesn’t know what he plans on doing with a dim witted princess on his team. “You think you know a person.” 

Gwen chooses Leshawna, just like in canon.

But instead of Lindsey suggesting Tyler (because she doesn’t remember him) Trent goes on to choose Justin right away, which prompts Gwen’s snarky comment about how choosing the good looking contestants will totally make him go far.

And in case you’re wondering why Trent IS only choosing teammates by looks, it’s because he KNOWS they won’t do well, aiding in Gwen getting a good chance to win. It’s not said here, but that’s the intention.

Gwen chooses DJ

Trent chooses Beth

Gwen chooses Tyler

Trent chooses Noah

Gwen then is given the suggestion from Leshawna to ‘keep her enemies closer.’ (Why Leshawna would do this strategy will be explained later in this rewrite) In spite of Heather, Gwen chooses her, which shocks her. 

Trent is then left deciding between Owen or Harold, where in a confessional he remarks how they’re both flaky lunatics, but when it comes to who made it further in the last game…

Trent chooses Owen.

This prompts Harold to rant about how no one is putting his skills in consideration-

Which prompts Gwen to choose him just to shut him up.

Leaving Izzy for Trent’s team.

So with this in mind:

Screaming Gaffers: Gwen, Duncan, Leshawna, DJ, Tyler, Heather, and Harold

Killer Grips: Trent, Lindsey, Justin, Beth, Noah, Owen, and Izzy

With that, Chris explains the challenge, which is untouched, and everyone prepares to start their sets. On the way to the hill, Beth is seen trying to carry a light post, but due to her size she nearly tumbles, only for Justin to catch her and hold her in his arms, his looks charming her. 

“Oh look, it’s a mannequin,” Noah says as he’s walking along them. Beth wonders why Noah isn’t carrying anything, to which he scolds that he’s got nerd arms over here, do they honestly think he’s trying to be useless again?

Unfortunately Tyler, who is above them, is trying to carry a box, but fails horribly and drops it, where it nearly crashes on top of Noah. Justin pulls Noah out of the way just in time and just like with Beth, carries him bridal style, trying to charm him with his looks. Justin claims that he would never say that to Noah, only for Noah to instead snarl at him and shove himself off of the man, scolding that YES, HE WOULD, and he’s seen him do it. Beth questions this, only for Noah to grab the box and try to lift it himself, telling Beth that she can have Justin, he doesn’t care.

We then go to Duncan helping Gwen when she nearly trips, and Trent, who is near them, asks why Duncan would bother. 

“Uh… we’re on the same team?” Gwen says in confusion to that, where Trent remarks that he hopes it’s the only reason, and if that is, he thanks the delinquent. 

“Relax, cool guy, I’m not gonna steal your girlfriend,” Duncan ensures him, where Trent’s eyes narrow down on him. He decides to take Duncan’s word, but is still weary. Gwen asks Trent if everything’s okay, catching up to him, and instead of being secretive to his OWN GIRLFRIEND, FOR NO REASON, he’s actually honest with her, and puts it simply that he doesn’t like seeing her getting close with a criminal. Gwen assures him that Duncan isn’t a bad guy, but they’re cut off by Lindsey tripping and Trent helping her, ending their conversation. 

Heather, dragging a heavy box, scolds how this is unfair, and just like in canon no one listens to her ideas, and Harold is the only one backing her up, even if she pushes him away.

Also NO, Trent is not getting the necklace moment or his exchange with Izzy. Because in context of this rewrite, he doesn’t have this necklace, and he isn’t even trying to help his team win, which the latter isn’t even what he’s doing in canon, so the line just makes Trent look like a jerk.

With the heavy stuff, Lindsey has her same confessional about it, and instead, she suggests that they carry the cart to the mountain. That only gains blank stares at her team, and Noah remarks “Good job, miss obvious.” But just like in canon, the Grips get the idea to use Owen as their carrier.

Instead of Trent being a jerk and making fun of the other team and his own girlfriend, he actually calls out to Gwen that she should ‘try and keep up.’ 

Misinterpreting his words, the Gaffers are offended by that, and Gwen and Duncan agree that the Grips are going down, (without Gwen targeting Trent specifically) They suggest DJ carry the trailer, but just like in canon, he refuses.

Owen is near the top of the mountain, but is barely able to have the stamina to climb in time. Beth’s cheer is untouched, but after such, Noah is walking up by her, snarkily mocking “Owen, Owen, he’s our man, if he can’t do it, we’re freaking hopeless!” 

Justin scolds Noah that he should at least try to help, but since he’s looking at himself in a hand mirror while saying so, Noah shoots back “Like what you’re doing?”

With that roast in mind, Justin shoves Noah out of the way, getting in front of Owen and taking off his shirt to charm Owen and get him to push further. Gazing at the situation transitions into a confessional from Noah, where he openly states “Justin is a piece of work. He doesn’t even look that great, and how even guys are falling for him, I don’t get at all. The thing about Owen is that he won last season in ways I don’t get how… I can tell Justin is trying to form something with that guy. Not if I can’t trick him first.”

From there, Noah decides to take a book in his hand and chug it at Justin’s face, deciding to take a handle of the cart himself to assist Owen. 

“I didn’t know you cared,” Owen happily expresses, where Noah only says, in an unrealistic tone to what he usually sounds, that of course he would help a fellow teammate! Why wouldn’t he unless he was Heather?

From that line, we cut down to the Gaffers, and Heather scolds DJ that the trailer is NOT going to break! He’s being absolutely pathetic! Despite Harold kindly trying to encourage DJ like in canon, DJ refuses. Tyler offers to do it himself, but he isn’t even able to move the trailer when he’s continuously trying to pull it in the background for the rest of the scene. Gwen tries to encourage DJ that if anything bad happens to the trailer, they’ll help him out, only for DJ to claim that it’ll be on him if something bad happens to any member of his team. It’s because of this that the Grips end up getting to the mountain first and winning the challenge, everyone in that team exhausted. 

The teams are explained that their objective is to make a movie, where this is untouched, as well as Heather’s confessional. The only change needed is that instead of Trent saying “Boring,” it’s Noah. Just like in canon, Izzy is selected to be the Grip’s actor, and the Gaffers suggest Duncan to do their role, but he lingers. Chef mocks DJ that he would never be able to do it, which catches DJ’s attention, only in this version Chef scolds DJ’s whimpering at his words, claiming that behavior won’t get him anywhere, trust him, he knows. DJ asks what he means by that, but we’re cut off by Gwen convincing Duncan to be the actor. It’s mostly the same dialogue, but Gwen also encourages Duncan that she knows what he can do, and sure he may want to be stubborn about it for reasons she doesn’t get, but the truth is that he’s truly a criminal if he’s willing to sabotage his team. Duncan asks why he should help her, and Gwen remarks that it’s because they’re all friends here. 

This is meant to be a contrast of season 1s episode 4 where Duncan asked the same thing to Courtney, and she threatened him, which will come into play later this season.

The Grips preparing for the audition are mostly untouched, the only change being that Justin assists as well with Izzy, encouraging her that the best thing she can do when acting is to simply be herself and look pretty. Izzy says she already takes the former of what he said to heart, just as Owen asks for the lines.

The Gaffers are untouched. Not much else to add here. The only thing is that I’m cutting out Harold’s confessional after he helps out Heather. Because NO, in this rewrite, Harold is NOT crushing on Heather for no reason. The only explanation of such is that he saw her bare breast one time by accident, which is fair, but considering Leshawna is already a focus for him, and that he and Heather are friends…ish… that’s just unnecessary. Heather’s confessional is fine though.

As such, after DJ nearly scoffs Duncan but catches himself, Chef throws him aside to try and toughen the guy up. Chef also has his confessional explaining his actions into helping DJ toughen up and win the whole game as long as he gets the money share. This is one credit to the canon, especially from the episode before where here, and his brief lines before, make Chef trying to ally himself with DJ actually make sense. 

After this, it’s time for the show, ACTION!

And overall… yeah these are untouched for the most part. The only thing is that Trent says nothing in the middle of this, instead only smiles for an unknown reason. Just like in the original, Duncan’s emotional heart throbbing performance is enough to make Chef cry, thus making the Gaffers the winners…

Like d**n Duncan, you should stop hiding your talent!

After the challenge, we have the Gwen and Trent scene, which is mostly untouched. The only tweak needed is that Trent doesn’t apologize for calling her a wannabe, because in this rewrite, he didn’t. 

We then cut to the Grips slouching near their trailer, none of them sure of what to do. Tyler comes over to join in on Lindsey, greeting her. “Hey… Trevor, is it?” Lindsey greets, where Tyler corrects her briefly before apologizing about the loss, asking if there’s anything he can do to help her. Lindsey tries to think, only to not come up with anything and say “Well there’s one thing… and I don’t know what that is.” 

Justin then comes over to ask if Tyler is on the opposite team, which makes Lindsey remark “Wait, are you?” Just as Tyler asks “So? I can still talk to her.” “Oh no, I’m not taking that from you,” Justin assures him, “I’m just saying-”

“That you’re taking that from her,” Noah remarks when walking by with two soda glasses in his hands. He walks past them and eyes Owen and Izzy by a tree, Izzy playfully pressing on Owen’s stomach with the two laughing. 

Noah then has a confessional where basically addresses his plan to the audience. “Okay, so these guys hated me last season for whatever reason. Trust me when I say that being on a team with Justin, I KNOW I need to be one step ahead of him to get rid of this guy and win this entire thing. And when it comes to scheming like this, what better chances can I get than from the very goof who won last season. He might have some hints I can get from him.”

After the confessional, Izzy remarks how her legs are still cracked from playing the grandma, even remarking that maybe she actually broke her knee caps once, in a rambling story. Owen claims that she’d make a beautiful old lady, and the two smile at each other. 

Noah comes in to join them, asking Owen if he had a minute. Izzy crazily asks if it’s top secret scheming going on, but Noah only remarks that with her brain, she could never tell. “Isn’t it great?” Owen takes that as a compliment, just as Izzy decides to jump in a tree to catch a squirrel. For the rest of the scene, Izzy occasionally is shown in the background of the trees catching the squirrel.

From there, Noah hands Owen one of the soda glasses, and as the latter is gulping down his, Noah tries to talk to him. He claims that he knows they barely know each other, and probably will never get along well. But the thing is, the Gaffers have a really good team on their hands, an evil strategist, a strongman, a nerd who won’t shut up, a self proclaimed jock, a runner up from the last season, a delinquent with insane acting skills, and Leshawna. 

“What exactly do we have?” Noah asks him, where Owen suggests innocently “Justin?” “No, not Justin, we don’t talk about Justin,” Noah claims, trying to continue. 

They need to step up their game before they lose again, and Noah believes that Owen has the best strategies for this game, given he won last season. “Those were my veteran days mate,” Owen replies as his bottle is emptied, seeing that Noah isn’t touching his glass and he decides to take his. 

“What I’m trying to say here…” Noah claims, “We need to work together. You know… the code.”

“The code?” Owen asks, not getting it, and innocently assumes with a smile on his face “Wait, we’re friends?!”

“Wait, what?” Noah doesn’t get where he’s going, almost as if he’s unfamiliar with the concept. But before Noah can correct him, Owen draws the small boy in for a tight hug that visibly crushes Noah. Owen is cheering happily that they’re buddies, that he has a little buddy on his side.

“Yeah, sure…” Noah doesn’t buy the concept, trying to ask what his secret to winning is, only for Owen to burp in his face, shutting him up and blowing Noah’s hair in a spiky position. Izzy also shows up gleefully, the squirrel in her mouth as she asks how things are going, and that she caught a live one. 

Said hair position is in the next confessional with a makeup artist hand trying to put a brush through it, where Noah can only mutter “I am going to regret this…”

There’s also a confessional from Owen where he cheerfully remarks that he and Noah are going to be besties. Though he wonders what Noah meant about a code.

We then cut to the elimination ceremony.

So now we reach the voting sessions, where the votes have been casted, and losers have been selected…

The awards go to Trent…

Owen…

Beth…

Noah…

Justin…

And Lindsey.

Izzy however does not want to go anywhere, claiming she’s not getting any recognition. Regardless, Izzy is eliminated just like in canon, with the claim that she can NEVER come back… EVER…

I mean, she’ll obviously obey. Right?

Episode 4: Beach Blanket Bogus

Episode 4 opens just like in the original with breakfast, with one tweak being that DJ is in the line, receiving a healthier looking piece of toast and bowl of fruit to everyone else, where he stares at it nervously. Other than that, this is untouched. Heather scoffs at her plate, Harold tries to brag, and Heather pushes him away and tries to wave over to Lindsey and Beth, who ignore her and instead gush over Justin. I am gonna cut out Beth’s confessional because it’s not necessary, we get the picture, and instead use the time to focus on something else. 

That being Heather’s role in this moment as an outcast, where she bitterly picks on her food from the rejection. She rants how she doesn’t get it, she doesn’t understand how everyone isn’t listening to her ideas. Harold then sits next to her, agreeing that she can write them down on a napkin he hands her, and he can see what they can do. Heather scolds him for this when she touches the napkin, disgusted as she asks if his snot was in this thing, where Harold makes the excuse that “It’s a condition.” 

Heather then asks in annoyance why he’s bothering, and Harold puts it simply that no one wants to sit with him either, his head leaning out of the way just in time to avoid food getting thrown at his face. Duncan is seen by the table with Gwen and Duncan, and as he’s smirking at Heather and Harold, that’s a transition to their moment. 

Trent scolds Duncan for being immature about that, and not paying attention, he spills salt on his eggs. Duncan gets a good laugh at that, saying that Trent’s clearly much better, which makes the latter bitterly toss a piece of egg in his mouth. Gwen scolds that Trent has a point, but Duncan only brushes that off, that it’s not like he’s ever followed rules. Trent leans over to Gwen’s ear to ask how she can stand this guy, and Gwen, actually knowing about Trent’s beef in this rewrite, puts it simply that they just… click. 

“Kind of like how I clicked with you,” Gwen adds as a flirt as she’s helping clean the salt, but little does she know that Trent took that the wrong way. 

From there, Chris explains the challenges and prompts everyone to go, and DJ is held back by Chef. There’s actually a little more to this exchange, as DJ asks what exactly Chef’s plan IS, to which Chef puts it that there’s payment in loyalty. 

With that, everyone is taken to the freezing studio where the one who stays on the surfing board the longest wins an advantage for the next part. Just as Chris makes the Justin abs comment, Noah looks over to see Owen admiring Justin at that moment. He tries to snap his asset out of it by asking the big guy what his strategy is to make it through something like this, but Owen doesn’t answer and continues to admire Justin as much as Lindsey and Beth are. 

“Stare at the male model for a good hour?” Noah wonders sarcastically, rolling his eyes to add “What a joke.”

This catches Justin’s attention, and his eyes narrow at his teammate looking away from him.

In a confessional, Justin states that he has no idea what sort of facial or physical trauma Noah has that makes him resist his hotness. “But what I do know is that he’s probably never seen a magazine in his life.”

Which cuts to another confessional with Noah, who remarks “I’ve seen plenty of magazines in my days. Mostly so I can cut them apart and make brochures.” As he’s doing so, he’s cutting apart one magazine, then shows a paper to the camera, a picture of Justin made of magazine papers. Only in that picture, the dude’s lips look like cartoonish smooching, he has a black eye, his hair looks like an afro, and he’s wearing newspaper rags.

 To this picture, Noah says “If you ask me, this is very accurate.”

After those, just like in canon, Harold tries to impress Leshawna with his nonexistent muscles, only for an ice shard to make him be mistaken for volunteering to go first.

His surfing test is mostly untouched, only for one thing. While I AM keeping his confessional, I feel like the timing of it was… off? Like the camera focuses on Chris and then Harold is suddenly in the booth making an ass joke? Instead, the shark nearly bites Harold, and after a few dodges he retreats to the post like he did in canon, Leshawna makes her comment, and THEN we cut to that confessional, so that the audience has a better understanding of what he’s talking about, and why he’s even making said ass joke.

Other than that, Harold’s test, and everyone’s comments, are completely untouched.

After he crashes, we DON’T have Trent receive a bracelet and awkwardly count, nor Beth’s exchange with Lindsey. 

So in other words, NO, Trent is NOT obsessed with the number 9 in this version. It’s stupid. This trait is stupid, and NOT funny. It comes completely out of nowhere. It makes no sense. Which is saying something when this character in both canon seasons is as compelling and diverse AS A ROCK.

(Sorry, I just had to get that out of my system.)

Instead, Tyler is giving a thumbs up to Harold, cheering that he did great. “Can you do better?” Lindsey wonders, as she’s next to him, and Tyler assures her that yes, he’s excellent at surfing, and he’ll be proud to show her how to do it. “How?” Lindesy asks, where Tyler gives his advice off screen. 

We then cut to Tyler’s test, where he tries to do flips on the board, and yeah, it doesn’t work at all. 

We then cut to Lindsey’s test, which turns out to not go well either. (Thanks Tyler) DJ has his, Owen breaks it, (which earns a face palm from Noah), then Gwen thinks it’ll be good until Chris pulls out a seagull gun, Justin then has it, and it’s all completely untouched. Yes, even the shark saving his life and shoving away Beth, that’s funny. There’s then a quick one second each montage of the others going, Leshawna, Trent, Beth, Heather, and Noah, all of them failing instantly. Just like in canon, Duncan is last and secures the victory for the Gaffers.

Owen says that the Gaffers seem unstoppable, which makes Noah remark “Gee, it’s almost like they selected competent teammates!” 

He glares at Trent specifically, who tries to make the excuse that he knows what he’s doing, they just… they just need to be patient with him. After making that excuse he glances over to see Gwen and Duncan hugging, where Trent ends up having a confessional. “If Duncan’s hot, competent, capable, and willing to help out Gwen, how am I supposed to do the same for her? I know they’re just ‘friends’ or whatever, but…” he begins to freak out at his own words, realizing “I’m losing trust in my own girlfriend!! Someone help me!”

We’re cutting out the bus stop scene entirely, as no one has changed out of their bathing suits, nor are there any confessionals about it, or the Beth friendship bracelet moment, as cute as that is, it’s cut. 

Instead we go right away to the sand castle building challenge, starting with Chris’s explanation of it. The Gaffers proceed to make an impressive castle with Harold’s guidance. The tweaks needed are that Tyler is part of Harold’s orders to fill the buckets, and Leshawna is more visibly amazed by what Harold can do than she was in canon. Other than that, this scene is untouched.

When Harold asks where Gwen and Duncan are, we cut over to those two sabotaging the bus. As they’re doing so Gwen is laughing as she scolds that this isn’t a good idea, where Duncan only remarks that at least if they’re stuck, they get to sleep in cabins again. Instead of Duncan triggering the bus horn, we actually get a more quiet moment where Gwen actually talks to him confidently. She expresses how she used to hate school buses as a kid, always with the loud children, jumping in seats, being obnoxious. She still hates them to be honest. Duncan expresses how prison had buses everywhere, where Gwen suddenly asks sincerely “You ever had any friends in Juvie?” 

As Duncan is tampering with the bus, he remarks “Had a roomie named Mal once. He was weird, had like… SIX different voices every single hour, and I think I lost a few brain cells from being stuck with him.” He chuckles at himself, before being honest and saying “Overall though, I’d say I’m a lone wolf sweetheart.”

“I have a boyfriend,” Gwen scolds with the nickname, where Duncan counters that with “And you have friends. Not a lot of friends, but one guy shouldn’t hog you.”

“Courtney hogs you!” Gwen counters back, where Duncan argues back, smirking at his own words “Courtney is the kind of gal you don’t wanna mess with. She’ll probably watch this and cringe cause it’s true, but hey, she still kissed me.”

Gwen playfully argues, “Oh and I’m just some pushover, eh?!” And it seems like they’re going to have a petty fight, only for Duncan to bust the bus alarm and make it sound, which stops them and they playfully laugh off the error.

Back with the rest of the team, the Grips get started with their build, and Trent leads the way just like in canon. NO, there is NO nine thing going on, but Justin does question Trent’s orders with the castle, as everything looks uneven. Trent says that it’s fine, which cuts to Lindsey using the crab shell for the flag. 

“See? Lindsey gets it!” Trent says in response to this, soon ordering Lindsey kindly to find some more shells as decorations. 

Noah and Owen are on water duty, and Noah has a hard time carrying his bucket, nearly spilling it. Owen’s holding three on his own, and offers to help out Noah carry his. Noah actually thanks him, immediately stopping himself to ask about his skill with water jumping, (referring to Owen giving the Gophers the wheelbarrows last season by jumping off the cliff) 

“Oh that?” Owen wonders, laughing to himself as he remarks “I’m not a good swimmer, pal. I just did.”

“You ‘just did,’ huh?” Noah wonders, not believing it, “You ‘just did,’ to win 100K?”

“Haven’t you?” Owen asks, and Noah only scoffs at that, stepping away from him to say “I’m clearly not a winner then, I’m just sad.” 

Taking this literally, Owen tries to put his arm around Noah to assure him it’s okay, but not only does he nearly choke Noah, but one of the buckets falls and spills. 

“You don’t know sarcasm when you hear it, do you?” Noah tries to say under his breath, barely sliding out, to bitterly make it clear to him “I chose you to be in an alliance with me! Okay? I started this, I get to make the charges with our contacts, and I need you to work with me on this.”

Owen apologizes as Noah picks up the bucket again, filling it up with water and still weak enough that he can only drag it across the sand.

As they make it back, Trent is trying to apply a massive shell on top, where Justin warns him that it won’t work, but Trent says that it’s fine…

Only for the entire castle to crumble. 

Beth makes her suggestion to use paper mache to make a castle, only here, Trent doesn’t make any comments or names the castle. (So in other words this Gwen and Duncan exchange doesn’t happen) 

Regardless, the Gaffers don’t lose their castle to random seagulls, instead Noah gets lost in the sand, and accidentally spills the bucket when he trips, making the castle collapse. (A tragedy to be held.)

The Grips win, meaning there will be a tiebreaker.

Hearing this news, Trent smiles over to Gwen, who looks away distraught due to her previous discussion with Duncan, instead going with Leshawna in a friendly exchange on the tidal waves. Trent then wonders what he’s doing wrong with her, as it feels like he’s not good enough for her anymore. Because he said this aloud, Justin stays behind to try to talk to him, giving him the suggestion that girls simply like to win. (You know, make Justin actually do something other than sit still and look pretty)

So no, the campers don’t have to collect sticks, and we instantly go to the next part of the challenge, a dance off.

TYLER and Trent volunteer, (without the ‘say my name nine times’ exchange of course) And the dance off begins with these two. The moves themselves aren’t too bad, but Tyler is clearly far more of a daredevil with his moves, being so absurd with failing stunts that it’s kind of a guilty pleasure to the others. I am cutting out the confessionals, like, come on, don’t ruin this dance party! And so Trent throws the challenge by tripping over a stick, Duncan and Gwen have an exchange, and Gwen’s confessional, which is… surprisingly untouched. (Don’t worry, this will make sense later)

The Gwen and Trent moment after is okay as well, only here Owen is NOT in this scene, instead it’s Justin, smirking at them from behind the bushes.

Chris offers the Grips to head to the bus during the party, only to realize the bus is… well… BUS-TED. 

Tyler comes over while still doing his awful dances, and grasps Lindsey to join him, where the two share a short but cute and quirky dance before Chef grabs Lindsey to get her away from the other team. The Harold, Duncan, and Leshawna bit in the party is untouched, but on board with Leshawna showing off her dances, Harold offers to back her up. Though Leshawna is hesitant for his inclusion and his support of her despite everyone else laughing, she does smile at Harold genuinely.

Gwen and Duncan are by the poi bowl laughing at the two, Duncan cheekily asking if Gwen wants to make up some quirky dance of their own. Gwen smirks and claims “You can do better than that.” 

Regardless, the two still grasp hands and dance away into the flames of the torches, Duncan and Gwen locking eyes as the two laugh off the night.

Cutting out the Owen and Lindsey bit, we then cut to Justin and Beth by the beachside, Justin talking Beth into an alliance. Beth however never gave anyone friendship bracelets in this rewrite, so that part is unfortunately cut out. Other than that though, this is untouched, as Justin has claimed his first victim.

Episode 5: 3:10 to Crazytown

Episode 5 opens with the boiling sun, where it’s completely untouched until the part where Owen is fanning Justin. As Owen faints, we get a camera angle of his blinking, where Noah is standing on top of his view, looking down to ask what he’s doing. Without hearing Owen’s answer, Noah decides to pull Owen away from Justin, trying and failing to drag him along. 

“You need some moisture for that tone kid?” Justin asks in response to this, where Noah, despite sweating, only shoots back “I never heard of such a possibility.” 

Justin decides to move and head inside to get away from Noah, and the latter looks back at the collapsed Owen. He makes it clear to him that part of this alliance is that talking to Justin is against the law. He then gazes at Justin by the trailer complementing Beth handing him a comb, the former giving a smirk at her naive generosity.

Gwen is by a tree trying to cool off, and Leshawna comes over to help her with the shade. “You lost pins to your hair?” Gwen asks curiously, remarking how Leshawna’s ponytail is much looser and way curlier than what the audience is used to. “Unfortunately,” Leshawna remarks, frustrated herself with it as she mutters “Mama aint gonna like seeing this on TV…”

Trent then barges in to ask if there’s anything he can do for Gwen, offering a bottle of water. She thanks him, and as she drinks it, Trent expresses how he’d do anything to get her what she wants. Gwen however gulps her swallow of the water when hearing this, weary of the idea. We don’t get their confessionals, instead Leshawna barges in on this when trying to fix her hair back in a ponytail, that Trent is just jealous of her team and how well they’re doing. Trent then kindly shoots back that “Hey, Gwen was robbed last season because of some brownies and a stupid bet, least I can do for my own girl is to give her what she deserves.”

DJ is in the pool just as Chef comes over to pop it, claiming that tough guys don’t need to swim to survive. DJ hopes he has something else in mind, and that’s where Chef hands him a spare lasso, and knowledge of one of the challenges, granting DJ the unfair advantage of that knowledge. Before DJ can leave, Chef grabs him by the shirt and threatens that he can’t tell anyone about this, and as DJ nervously nods yes, we get the gunshots from Chris, and the western theme introduction.

We also get the confessional with Leshawna, but before the canon part of it, Leshawna mutters while trying to fix her hair “Mama’s always said ya gotta look good on TV to win a million bucks from TV, and let me tell you, the amount of pins needed to actually achieve that for my kind of locks is insane…” Right as she trails off, the ponytail holder snaps and her hair turns into that afro, causing a groan. This is a brief slightly comedic characterization for Leshawna that will play part later in this rewrite, as an indication that this afro IS her actual hair style without her accessories, and not just a bad hair day.

The introduction to the set is pretty much untouched, though changes start to come with Harold’s reaction, which seemed a little out of nowhere given what prompted it was a mention of a Salon, so… this is a little weird. (And this is HAROLD we’re talking about!) So instead Chris further explains the challenge with the steed scolding, though that’s kind of cut shorter cause that shot was WAY too long. After the Beth, Harold, and Trent confessionals, we then cut back to Leshawna snarling at a still laughing Heather, where she scolds that at least she HAS hair, which shuts her up. Harold then comes up behind them trying to look cool, with his own cowboy hat on and using a floss to make a guitar strum. He greets himself to the beautiful Leshawna, complimenting on how great she looks. Leshawana asks if he’s being sarcastic, to which Harold wholeheartedly denies, and offers to be her knight in the Salon, only for Duncan to walk by when prompted to the horse, muttering “Let’s get this over with,” and he purposefully trips Harold in the water bin, cheekily scolding that’s EXACTLY how cowboys greet a lady. Leshawna then has her confessional about having her eye on Duncan, which is untouched.

Just like in canon, it’s revealed they’re gonna jump off a platform way in the sky, and Chris assures them it’s TOTALLY SAFE, only for a flashback to show a crewmember getting killed from this, and Chris cheekily deciding that it’s safe enough. 

Even though Gwen doesn’t have allergies in this version, (because it’s pointless) she still shows concern about how they’re going to do this. Duncan makes the offer, Trent tries to back up Gwen on how dangerous it is, only for miscommunication to have both Gwen and Trent have confessionals about it… surprisingly these Trent making awkward comments things are ALL untouched. (I think what saved it was that Trent called himself out every single time and rightfully slaps himself)

Just like in canon, Gwen goes first, and we don’t cut to Harold calling bs on the jump in a confessional until after the shot of the horse’s face, to not break the flow of the fall itself. Regardless of that tweak, Gwen’s results are the same. As well as Trent’s fall itself with him jinxing himself to have a fence strip his right to have kids with Gwen… frankly he did that to himself.

Harolds and Duncan’s are also untouched, and before Owen takes his turn, Noah is calling up to him with a notepad in his hands, telling the big guy to show them what he’s got. However, Owen’s jump and crash are the same. Just as Chris calls Owen’s jump to count, Noah erases everything in the book, saying “Great, I’ll study that fondly,” just as he throws it in the water bin.

After DJ takes his turn (which is untouched) Justin makes his excuse, and Beth and Lindsey oblige, to which Noah proclaims that this is an absolute bc excuse, and he gets up at Justin’s face to do it. Justin refuses, instead making Noah do it instead, where he proclaims that if he’s going to be lazy, then the rest of them are as well. That is until Lindsey and Beth volunteer to jump in his place, where it’s untouched for them. Upon seeing Lindsey succeed, Tyler then makes his turn to try and do a swim dive and impress her, only for him to crash on the ground and miss the horse entirely. Noah also is forced to go, and he misses entirely, falling into the water bin instead with his soggy notebook on his face. 

Leshawna and Heather are then forced to try and break the 3-3 tie, and this is completely untouched. (Yeah I’m shocked too, but the exposure here is kind of something you can’t write out in order for the logic and laws of physics to work, so…)

With the next challenge, we don’t have this filler fakeout challenge scene AT ALL, instead we go right to the cowboys and cattle challenge, without Trent asking “who's who?” Because… he literally just said who’s who, are you THAT dense Trent?! All the confessionals about this are fine though. 

In this challenge, Beth captures Heather the same way… but with DJ, he manages to use the spare lasso to cut off Justin’s rope and get away, which is triggered by Chef giving a death glare at him. Other than that this is completely untouched, Trent throws the challenge, the Gaffers get their hands on the ropes, and they win by roping up the cowboys. The Gaffers win, and their reward is a cider party back at the trailers, where a brief cut shows the cans of cider looking disgusting. On top of this, the Grips are gonna be sending someone home.

(I’m cutting out the Trent bit with the branding thing though, cause I think we already get the message at this point.)

Trent gives a smile and a wink at Gwen, who upon realizing what he’s doing, her eyes dart to the side and away from him, unable to believe what’s happening. She looks over at Leshawna and Duncan walking out of the fence ring, and she sighs to herself, unsure whose side to take. Gwen then has a confessional where she wholeheartedly admits “Trent’s been throwing challenges for me… I know he’s trying to help, but this has to stop! Next thing I know, they’re gonna catch on too, they’re gonna blame me, and everyone will hate me! I can’t afford that, I just can’t! Trent’s…” she mutters under her breath, realizing as she asks herself “Who is Trent to me?” Where the question lingers as we cut back to the others leaving the sets.

Instead of the shower scene, we get DJ giving Chef back the spare lasso, with clear guilt on his face. Chef laughs at what’s occurred with the challenge, congratulating DJ, where he gives a fake laugh despite looking over at the rest of his team walking off and chatting away. 

Leshawna is finishing putting on a different pair of shorts (remember, her old ones got ripped) and Harold is seen hopping by and tripping over due to being tied up by Duncan. Leshawna helps him out and frees him, where Harold bashfully thanks her. She asks if Duncan did this, to which he nods yes, but shrugs it off, instead claiming that Leshawna shouldn’t worry about her savior cowboy. Leshawna is only weirded out by that and tries to step away, making the excuse that she needs to fix her hair. Harold is confused by this, claiming he doesn’t have issues with her hair, but though Leshawna hesitates, she still leaves, claiming that They. Are Not. A Thing.

As she leaves, Harold gazes over at her lovingly, wiping away sweat on his face and remarking on how great the heat is. 

“Let me help you with that!” Duncan suddenly exclaims in the back, where he dumps a whole bucket of water all over Harold, slipping him over in the sand, leaving the latter to complain about sand in his eyes. 

We then get Leshawna and Duncan’s confessionals about why Harold is getting picked on so much, which are untouched. There really isn’t any better explanation than this. Harold rigged the votes against Courtney, Duncan’s girlfriend, last season, and Duncan wants revenge from how crazy Courtney went about it and thus wants Harold to be miserable… This isn’t too complicated.

And then we cut to…

Oh god, do I have to fix the Trent and Gwen breakup scene NOW?! Can’t I just… skip this, go back to it later? No? I gotta go in chronological order, don’t I?

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH…

Fine.

So, we then cut to Gwen and Trent.

They’re both sitting behind the washrooms away from everyone, where Trent glances over at Gwen, who's looking away, and after a few seconds of awkward silence, he asks “So… what did you want to talk about?”

Gwen hesitates to answer, and Trent tries to assume “If it’s because of those comments about the horse and the other stuff… I’m sorry. It was a bad choice of words on my part. It was hot and… I’m sorry.”

“Trent…” Gwen mutters, finally turning her head to him to say clearly “This isn’t working.”

Trent blinks, unable to believe her words, suddenly whispering under his breath “...what?”

“You’ve been throwing the game,” Gwen puts it, “For me. I know.”

“I thought you wanted to win,” Trent makes the excuse, where Gwen puts it that she DOES, she does, it’s just…

“What fairness is that to just make you my slave?” Gwen asks him, making him think about that as she remarks “Trent, you’re a great guy. You’ve helped me back at the island in more ways than you realize, and you know I would help you if you let me…”

As she trails off, there’s a brief cut of Noah and Justin getting out of the washrooms and only wearing towels, arguing over soap and trying to snatch it from each other. 

We then cut back to the couple. 

“But you have Duncan now, is that it?” Trent asks with a bit of edge in his voice, where Gwen clarifies that he and Duncan are her friends. “You were my only friend on the island,” Gwen tells him, “You were the only person I wanted to talk to, that I could connect with outside of my own pathetic crowd, and trust me I’ve never had a man to connect with outside of my brother, so it meant EVERYTHING to me… but there’s also other people I care about now, these guys, Duncan, Leshawna, heck, even party obsessed people like Geoff and Owen… and now that I’m this open, I kind of can’t choose to be with one particular guy just because he’s the only one I can talk to.”

Trent lingers on his words when she says all of this, hugging his knees and realizing “Wow… we really DON’T know each other well… and this whole time I thought you wanted to be given what you were robbed back from last season.”

“What I need, Trent,” Gwen clarifies, “Is for the people I care about to listen to me. That includes you.”

Trent realizes this and sighs, where little do these two know is that Justin and Noah are both overhearing the whole thing from the other side of the washroom. 

“...okay,” Trent agrees, “So you don’t want me to keep throwing challenges.” “Nope,” Gwen clarifies, where Trent makes it clear, “You know, day one, I picked my team so they would always lose.” He laughs at himself, where Gwen rolls her eyes and playfully says, “Well, don’t tell them that.”

Trent then asks with sincerity, “So you want to break up and continue this game as friends?” 

“You’re invited on my list,” Gwen agrees with a smile, where the two embrace in a hug, accepting this choice, knowing it’s for the best. 

As they part, Gwen then promises, “And I promise that after the overly dramatic elimination, I’ll talk to the others and invite you to our reward night. Chef’s making ‘cider,’ for us.” Trent agrees that this sounds great, and that he hears her loud and clear.

And Justin and Noah both heard this loud and clear as well. 

(See, writers, it’s possible for couples to break up WITHOUT turning one of them into a jerk)

We cut to Justin and Noah in front of the trailer grounds, having exposed this information to the other Grips, who are all in towels after getting cleaned up. 

“So Trent recruited us because he KNEW we were failures?!” Lindsey exclaims, where Noah scoffs “I mean, I can believe that.” 

Justin cuts things off that regardless of why they were chosen, Gwen’s a part of this deal, and if they hope to survive this game, they have to get rid of them both. Meaning they have to agree on their choice to go through with this plan.

Noah then argues back, “Whoa whoa pretty boy, you mean MY plan! We should vote off Trent. If he’s throwing challenges, he’s gonna be a burden to us.” 

Justin snaps, “Excuse me short stuff, who found out about this first? We need to use Gwen, we need HER help to get ourselves a win.” 

Noah corrects, “I found out first, actually! And a loner goth like her isn’t going to be persuaded by looks! What idiot would fall for that?”

This gets them both to glance at Lindsey, Beth, and Owen staring off into space, which makes Justin smile and Noah frown. Noah snaps their focus onto him, demanding that the Grips need to strategize wisely here. Owen then is snapped back into reality, going “What Justin?”

Which makes Noah ask harshly “Whose side are you on?”

“I go with Justin,” Lindsey raises her hand to decide, “Gwen’s going down!” 

Beth also raises her hand, commenting “I second that! Besides, Justin’s the better looking of the two.”

Noah scoffs at the roast, going “Okay, clearly I’m the stupid one. Ignoring how I found out about this first and called this meeting!”

“No, I called it!” Justin scoffs back, where Noah then goes, “Technically, by sixty eight tenths of a second, I called it first!” 

Their argument fades to the background as the other three stare at each other blankly. “How do you keep a glass half full when a glass keeps tipping over?” Beth asks, where Lindsey answers “Pick up the cup again and fill it halfway-”

Which is cut off by Justin and Noah shoving each other on the ground pathetically. Seeing this, Beth decides “Let’s vote out Trent.” To which Lindsey and Owen agree.

We then cut to the elimination ceremony.

So now we reach the voting sessions, where the votes have been casted, and losers have been selected…

The awards go to Lindsey…

Beth…

Noah…

Justin…

And Owen.

And just like in the original, Trent is eliminated. He tries to protest, saying he should at least say goodbye to Gwen, but Chef grabs him and throws him away in the Limo of Losers before they can get the chance.

In this version, Gwen is walking over to the ceremony, ready to bring Trent over to the party, only for her to overhear Trent screaming out her name, prompting Gwen to start running towards him, realizing that Trent has been eliminated. 

She runs along the limo as it’s leaving, barely able to keep up, she tries to get words out but fails, and Trent is only able to grasp the tip of her fingers, apologizing sincerely for everything he’s done… they lose contact, and the vehicle drives off with him in it. 

Gwen is barely able to believe this, unsure how to react other than be devastated as she stops running and tries to catch her breath, standing on the road in the dark night. For all she knows now, she just ended their relationship for good. Now the Grips are against her, all because she didn’t tell them the truth. Trent’s gone… because of her. And all she can mutter in a weary voice is “...I’m sorry Trent…”

Before Gwen can start crying, she feels a soft hand caress her shoulder, and soon her face. She shivers, and soon looks up, seeing Justin behind her, trying to comfort her. He apologizes for the loss of Trent, and Gwen assures him that it’s not his fault…

“You’re right Gwen,” Justin assures her, silently gripping both her shoulders to keep her in place “It’s NOT his fault.”

Gwen’s eyes shrink as she realizes what he’s trying to say, and we fade to black, tensely ending the episode on Justin telling Gwen “...we need to talk about what you owe us.”

Episode 6: The 1st Aftermath

Episode 6 marks our first Aftermath show of the season. The first thing we’re doing is cutting out the recap with Trent and Gwen, especially with the constant sighs that… really sound annoying. 

Instead, this recap remarks the previously eliminated contestants, Geoff, Bridgette, Izzy, and Trent, with the vague question of what are their perspectives of this story?

After the intro, we cut to Geoff and Bridgette introducing the aftermath show, where everything they say here is untouched until we get around to introducing the campers left out. Obviously, Tyler and Noah are not here in this version, so there’s no mention of them at all in this role call. 

After such, we are then given the knowledge of Izzy and Trent’s arrival, as well as the webcams, and… what they say about Trent is surprisingly untouched, with the only tweak needed is to cut out the Katie and Sadie part of it. Remember, they’re not demonizing Gwen with THIS dialogue, only stating how they feel bad for him, which does still apply to this rewrite. 

Izzy’s recap is untouched, as well as her introduction to the Aftermath shows. I don’t have anything to touch with anything Izzy Geoff or Bridgette says here, it’s all pretty solid. The changes start to come when we get to the Truth or Hammer bit, where Geoff is clearly reading a paper that says the event, not made on his own terms. He’s a little weary of it, but he still goes along with it when he sees how cool Izzy is with it. The alliance with Chef question is surprisingly untouched, because to be fair, Chef has seen Izzy in action, trying to recruit her isn’t uncalled for, especially with their history and dynamic. Just like in canon, Izzy also exposes the idea that Chef rigged the game for DJ, which due to the additions I added here, this makes a lot more sense.

We then move on to Trent… 

(Oh boy, this is gonna be fun to fix)

And right off the bat when hearing the audience cheer for Trent, Bridgette remarks that Trent really did deserve better. Geoff comforts her that couples do break up, and NOWHERE do they blame Gwen for what happened BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE ONE SIDED. Geoff tries to imply “Maybe things between them would have been alright if it weren’t for Justin and Noah snooping on them-” which makes the audience realize what happened, and Trent to realize why the Grips voted him off, and instantly, he blames himself and that he should have been more careful, or better yet, listened to Gwen before any of this even happened.

Instead of laughing, Geoff tries to assure everyone that the Grips would have voted Trent off anyway, and that Gwen had nothing to do with the situation. Eva comments that she was still the very reason for all the havoc, and she should pay, only for Geoff to scold that Trent’s not a victim in the break up, it’s THEIR choice. Also, no, we’re not mentioning the Heather kissing Trent last season bit AT ALL, cause it’s unnecessary drama. (pun intended) Instead, Geoff tries to defend Gwen with the mention that she’s one of the most introverted people ever, and if she’s trying to figure out herself, then a relationship isn’t what she should be in, that’s simple logic. (Remember, Geoff and Gwen were tri-armed partners in Island, so Geoff defending her makes sense) Bridgette then makes the statement that shouldn’t be the case, if anything it just proves that Gwen is a pain, after all, THEY have things easy, why can’t they? Why can’t they help them? 

Geoff makes it clear that it’s not that they shouldn’t help them, it’s that they volunteered for this show for a reason, and their paperwork and their job is to follow the script and also stop here for an ad segment-

Cutting to the Chef ad.

After the break, Izzy takes over as to introduce the havoc between Gwen and Trent, where Geoff and Bridgette are forced on opposite sides reading scripts. Izzy asks what teams they’re on, and Geoff reads the script to say ‘team Gwen’ and Bridgette reads it and says “Team Trent-wait hold on, when was this a war?”

“Now… quarrel for dramatic effect…” Geoff reads aloud, unsure what to do, other than play along haphazardly and try to say “Uh… Bridgette, you’re uh, you’re on team Trent, huh? What is wrong with you, Trent’s clearly uh…” he reads the script to say “‘A two faced, nine obsessed, rock-’who wrote this in the script and got away with it?!”

He glances over at a cameraman, who only shrugs at them.

After a face palm from Bridgette, she mutters “Let’s just see if Trent’s ready to come out…”

Only to cut to him on the TV, still mourning the loss of his relationship, where he remarks how he never even got to say goodbye to her, or warn her about the schemers in the team�� “I’m such an idiot.”

Geoff then decides to simply do a recap video about Gwen and Trent’s relationship. They reminisce on how Gwen was a lone wolf whose heart was melted by a guitar playing friendly face that was Trent, and the many times where Trent was there for her to help the goth break out of her shell, where not even Heather’s plans could stop them from loving each other. And THEN Gwen decided to move onto other people, and on opposite teams, Trent tried to give her all the money and chance to win in the world, only for Gwen to throw that all away and dump him. 

After the recap, Izzy moves to the panel, where just like in canon, Katie and Sadie are on Gwen’s side after seeing the Heather bit, Cody is on Gwen’s side (of course he is), and Courtney claims Trent is a loser by choice.

Trent then comes on, and when Bridgette asks what happened between them, Trent remarks that everything went fine until Gwen started to express herself and venge out further, hang out with Duncan more (which gets that Courtney comment) and he simply puts it that he didn’t obey the competition, and he didn’t listen to her. “So Gwen dumped you for another guy?” Bridgette reads in the script, which shocks her and causes an audience gasp.

“What?!” Trent realizes, “They’re just friends! She said they were just friends! Who wrote that?!”

That question gives a brief cut of Chris maniacally laughing behind camera, where he simply puts it “Boy do we love some juicy drama here.”

Geoff then asks about Trent’s point of view, and how crazy he got, with a brief reminder “Oh, and please be careful about the hammer.”

“What?” Trent realizes, where Geoff puts his hands up to make it clear “I’m just doing my job, this was NOT my choice!”

Trent makes it clear that Gwen meant more to him than the money, and seeing the hammer not go down, Geoff is confused as it was a million bucks, prompting Bridgette to scold “WE gave up a million bucks!” 

Trent makes it clear that he’s not innocent, he screwed over the people on the Grips, and he gives a public apology to them. Geoff asks what he would do if he had gotten to go to that cider party, and Trent simply puts it “Whatever she wanted. She wanted me to meet her new friend group and join in, and… to be honest, I don’t know how that would have gone. Leshawna may be a great gal, but Duncan’s… I don’t know how I feel about him. I just can’t shake off the feeling that he’s eyeing her and…” he face palms himself, groaning that it might be Duncan’s fault.

“Why don’t you trust Duncan?” Courtney asks in disgust, where Trent tells the story that soon after his grandpa died, his ma told him the story of a criminal that his parents knew, who’d bully a girl to no end. He dressed all edgy, had a mohawk… and ma told him that “Son, if you love a girl, you support them. And you keep them safe from punks like them.” It was kind of a thing that got his grandpa together with his wife.

After hearing this story, Katie and Sadie come to the conclusion that Gwen didn’t listen to him. Courtney makes it clear “Duncan is NOT a punk, okay! He won’t be on my watch, I can fix him.”

The email on what girl Trent likes is untouched from canon, and after such we move on to video essays. All of these are untouched. As well as the recap events from unseen footage of the campers getting hurt… honestly it’s a tradition.

Trent then has his farewell song to Gwen, which is sweet enough in it’s own right and I’m fine with keeping it in.

With that, Bridgette and Geoff tear up at it, and they both express how happy they are that they did this show together, and they start making out, closing the Aftermath show, with them outstaying at the stage and quite possibly f***ed each other in the process. Good for them.

And that’s where we’re going to leave things for today. As you can probably tell, there’s no set schedule for these parts to come out, and I want to thank you all for the support given to this project. And trust me, this was ONLY the first six episodes, and this might actually be the MOST accurate part to the original canon, so… prepare yourselves. So feel free to tune in next time on TOTAL. DRAMA. REFILMING ACTION!!

[michaelburnhamfanclub]

season three is where star trek discovery claims to have found its stride, and i must admit that with the season’s premiere, i was more than inclined to agree. however, now that s3 is complete and we’re able to take a holistic view of all of the resolved and unresolved arcs, i’m still pretty unsatisfied

with the s3 finale, it became clear that the season’s mission in terms of its protagonist was a concise one: to fully prepare michael burnham for the captain’s seat

i was thrilled when michael finally was promoted to captain, but it’s really worth examining the ways that the show went about its final preparations for such a promotion. there were a few major tenants to michael’s character arc across these thirteen episodes, and the following two themes are the ones i think are most worth unpacking in terms of what they do in service of michael’s promotion:

1. michael’s ongoing and complex relationship with isolation

2. michael’s inclination to subvert authority and protocol in service of what is right

i’ll try and unpack these a little bit below the cut

michael and isolation

ever since the very first episode of the very first season, michael burnham has been a character entrenched in her own isolation. in season one, michael found friendship and community on the discovery by forging bonds with sylvia tilly, ash tyler, and paul stamets and by redefining previously broken bonds with saru and the alternate philippa georgiou. one of the main reasons why s1 is kinda still my favorite season is this very aspect of it: michael’s success and the federation’s survival depended on the creation and strength of these bonds

season two continued michael’s experience of isolation by introducing her estranged and tortured relationship with spock. the major theme of michael’s character in this season was her instinct to “reach” for the people who always seemed furthest from her despite everything (i.e., she “reached” for her parents, spock, tilly, etc.). this was the final message she imparted to spock: the act of reaching for others will always be the most worthwhile thing, even if you are unable to ever touch them. michael was finally able to connect with spock only to be launched into the future

season three picks up on this theme in what i think is the most conceivably devastating way possible. michael is isolated for a whole year from the crew of the discovery, and when she returns into the fold, nobody reaches for her.

now, a huge part of why the first and third episodes hit me so hard is because i really thought they were going somewhere meaningful with this. she loses so much, and the gratitude directed towards her in the third episode is directly acknowledged as NOT ENOUGH. michael stands among her found family in the halls of the discovery, a family she has mourned for a year, and tilly says, “you let us go, didn’t you?” and there seems to be purpose to it

the first half of season three sees michael feeling lost, struggling to find a single reason why she should feel like she should belong with these people on this ship anymore. tilly and saru both clearly understand this, and instead of seeing any efforts on their part to welcome her back into their family, they further contribute to her feelings of isolation and make HER apologize for keeping THEM out of the loop (and yeah i understand that these apologies have to do with breaches in starfleet protocol but rn i’m only focusing on the interpersonal implications). the only meaningful connections that michael is able to maintain this season are with book and georgiou. and while i adore them both, georgiou leaves before the season ends and book is from the future and isn’t a discovery crew member, which makes it feel like when michael says she doesn’t think she belongs on the discovery, she’s RIGHT

this first half of development would’ve been all well and good if it had been carried out to its logical conclusion, which would have been the discovery crew fighting to make michael feel like she belongs, but that never happened. instead, we get unification iii, which is a great episode on its own, but it only resolves michael’s internal feelings regarding her place in starfleet, not the interpersonal tension that’s made her feel more isolated than she’s been since, like, maybe even early season one.

this is all to say that i don’t understand how this unfulfilled arc generates michael’s preparedness to stay on the discovery as captain, unless we’re going with the “the captain defines themself as separate from the crew because they’re the captain” narrative that star trek does admittedly love. i would be more into it if i was sure that discovery would actually explore that isolation with the care it deserves

it could be cool to potentially explore a discussion or resolution of this arc next season by bringing commander nhan back as michael’s first officer, another character who felt disconnected enough from the discovery’s crew to actually decide to leave, but idk i guess we’ll see

michael and authority

i’ve talked about how michael’s s1 character arc was a journey to learn how to subvert authority before. she starts the show as “the mutineer,” and this is a signifier we can’t forget

my roommate and i have also talked a lot about how the command structure of the discovery is so fucking weird, and i think a large part of it is because it naturally organizes itself around its heart, which is a position that michael instinctively and effortlessly occupies (though that is not to say that this effortlessness is not without its own suffering---michael being the heart of the discovery is what leads to the reinforcement of her martyr complex, though that’s not the focus of this post so i won’t dwell there)

season three’s essential question that it sets up with michael centers around doing the right thing her way or doing the right thing starfleet’s way. in her year alone, michael is finally able to define herself outside of starfleet, and she likes who she finds. this is one of the main reasons she struggles to reinsert herself into the crew of the discovery, this is the reason she rejects the idea of being the crew’s captain outright, and this is the reason saru gives for demoting her. this is the eventual reason that michael sends paul in an escape pod to the federation hq instead of immediately trying to jump for hugh, saru, and adira. this is the reason that she is eventually promoted to captain

tbh i would have had less issue with this storyline if not for a couple key details: (1) michael was punished for subverting starfleet protocol when other characters (like keyla or tilly) were encouraged or rewarded for it. (2) idk i feel like we’ve exceeded the bounds of the whole “needs of the many/needs of the few” ideological tenant, which was (i think) something that the ni’var president even SAID.

when it comes down to it, i just think that michael’s complicated relationship with subverting authority deserves a much more complicated storyline. i do think that this is something we’ll see more of in s4 because it’s always going to be one of the greatest tenants of her character, but that doesn’t change the fact that it seems to have fallen rather flat in s3 for me. i’d argue that this is because discovery doesn’t seem to want to commit to its serialized style as much anymore, but maybe that’s for another post lmao

i don’t think i’ve quite found a way to properly articulate it yet, but michael taking the captain’s seat was supposed to be the culmination of three seasons of buildup. however, the buildup that the show suggested in the s3 finale seemed to be based on things that michael had already earned by the s3 premiere. her relationship with authority this season felt. idk. maybe it’s because this was kinda the first time the show attempted to show michael as a subordinate on the discovery instead of as the heart of the discovery, but it felt like it just wasn’t the natural place to take that particular element of her characterization. i’m hoping that s4 will deliver on this front, but the main thing is that i don’t think s3 did

tl;dr s3 was not what i was hoping for in terms of furthering michael’s character, and now that she’s captain i would love for these two elements of her characterization to be explored to their full and complicated conclusions

[detectivereyes]

hi and welcome to jamie overanalyzes 911 lone star s2 trailer. this post is long and everything is under the cut bc of that and also bc i know there’s a lot of people out there who are trying not to see anything (which i wish i was you, that’s incredible) anyway if you’re like me and are losing your mind trying to make sense of it all... read below the cut

first just looking at the some screen grabs from trailer that i think are important to pull out

→ this has already been discussed but i’m pretty sure between this clip and the one where you can see the front side of the figures, that it’s owen and tim standing there (owen has the helmet on that says “captain”, tim has “paramedic” on his jacket)... this is important later

→ oh hey gwen

→ “one of our own died today” and it’s not owen, nancy, paul, or marjan... and my prediction that the figure that is comforting nancy is tommy... 

okay there’s not much to really dissect there.. i mean i could probably go shot by shot and give my takes but tumblr is already annoyed at how many pics i’ve uploaded and what people really want to talk about is that last note...

so which one of their own died today???

well we know for sure it’s not owen (they’re not killing off rob lowe lmao), nancy, paul, or marjan (unless the second two screenshots are just supposed to throw us off but this is confusing enough already so let’s just assume they are crying over whoever died)

we can also assume that it’s not tk bc of how much ronen posts, or carlos or grace since they aren’t firefighters. 

my initial thought is that it’s tim rosewater: mostly bc of the teaser trailer (see screenshot above) but at the time i really thought they weren’t actually going to kill anyone off. i also noticed mark elias was still posting. but now i’m not so sure. the main reason behind this reasoning is that nancy is shown crying, and she’s tim’s paramedic partner. of course everyone is going to be upset if someone from their house dies so nancy would be upset over anyone. however, she is shown in this trailer and considering she’s not a main cast member, i think that’s pretty significant. additionally, tim is also not a main cast member so he’s more likely to be killed off than any of the cast members who are. it sucks and i liked tim a lot so i hate this option but i’m going like 90% sure it’s him. but in order to explore other options, let’s dive a little deeper into other possibilities, shall we?

someone else mentioned that it could be michelle. i don’t really think it would be since they made it pretty clear that liv tyler couldn’t film due to travel restrictions. i also think fox would want to promote that liv is returning for one or so episode(s) if that was the case... then again other shows have successfully kept guest appearances secret so who knows really? it would make sense so i wouldn’t entirely discount it. it would make sense that nancy would be upset, and it’s a way for michelle to exit the show. but i hate that bc then the door is closed for liv to ever return to the show. overall i don’t really see this happening (mostly bc of covid and the logistics of getting liv to film...) but then again, i feel like it’s important to keep this in mind

besides tim, the character that makes the most sense would be mateo. i hate this option but this is where we’re at unfortunately. showing marjan upset? he’s also not shown as much in the trailer.. however i think you can see him for a split second at one point during a wildfire scene. if i remember correct, the wildfire episode is occurring around 2x04 (???) and the lava thing whatever you want to call it, is happening at the end of 2x01, into 2x02. so if that’s the case, and assuming that whoever dies is killed during the lava thing (yeah i just keep calling it lava thing..) then i think mateo is safe. please let me be right.

two other options that it could be but i find unlikely are judd and buttercup. judd isn’t shown in the trailer except for briefly during the lava thing (??? i could be wrong tho) but i also don’t think killing him off would make sense bc he’s connected to grace and also like he lost his entire team?? they spent so much time building his story during the first season that i honestly can’t see them killing him off so early in the second. and with buttercup... they can’t kill the dog. it makes sense but also it’s mean and i think it’s more implied that whoever died was killed on a call. i could be wrong here and maybe the lone star writers really do hate us but also i just won’t accept that.

finally, and one that i think is probable, the person who dies isn’t someone we know. all owen says is “we lost one of our own today.” of course one of our own could imply literally someone from the 126. but also it could just imply a fellow firefighter, since it is considered a brotherhood. maybe it was someone they teamed up with from another house and got close with? maybe it was a friend of judd’s? i mean hell maybe it was a floater they brought in for tk while he was on medical leave? we really don’t know but i think it’s important to keep this option in mind as well and not get to ahead of ourselves.

i love that we’re going to look back on this next month and be like wow it was so obvious?? we really thought that it could have been ___?? but for now i’m going to be losing my mind over here if anyone wants to join me. my official guess is going to be tim but i would love to hear what anyone else thinks!! my ask box and dms are open. 

edit, re the eddie/ryan theory: there’s some valid points but overall i don’t think this one makes sense mostly bc this death is happening on 911 lone star... if 911 was going to kill off one of their main cast members, they would do it on their own show. not in a spin off crossover episode... if only bc there are plenty of casual viewers out there that only watch 911 and would have no idea that eddie died. no matter how upset the network is with everything that happened with ryan, they can’t kill him off on a show that isn’t his, it just doesn’t make sense.