#… maybe if he was mean i’d like him more
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Not to be Naruto posting on main in 2024, but polyamory could have fixed them, actually.
#naruto#naruto uzumaki#sasuke uchiha#sakura haruno#I’d imagine Sakura being the one to accidentally on purpose being the one to bring them together#like she misunderstands the kiss and thinks ‘huh. maybe if I cozy up to Naruto. I can still be with Sasuke.’#and she keeps trying to take both of them out on dates before the exams#Naruto’s cool with it because dates mean food#sasuke goes along with it because kakashi told him he needed to socialize with his teammates more but soon figures out what sakura’s up to#and just. doesn’t say anything#because he doesn’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. what are you talking about?#oh those two idiots that he has to constantly keep out of trouble? they’re nuisances and he would die for them but that’s teammates for you#please ignore the soft smile on his face that’s only there for a second when Naruto makes a dumb joke#or when Sakura gets roped into a ramen eating contest#you didn’t see it. it doesn’t matter anyway. none of it matters if it isn’t his goal. it is…nice though#and then the Chunin Exams happen#and that probably needs its own post and not tags lol
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I’ll just say I never understood why so many fans say that other fans give Grian “too much trauma”. Like. I feel like you could say that about literally any of the life series characters yet I ONLY really see it said about Grian? Why are we not allowed to give Grian Specifically any trauma. I don’t get it.
#trafficblr#life series#life series grian#like okay. I know he’s like. pretty silly and has fun in the series. so maybe ‘trauma’ makes him look ooc?#but once again I FEEL LIKE YOU COULD SAY THAT ABOUT A LOT OF CHARACTERS….#like only a few ppl tend to RP the ‘trauma’ more and yet everyone EXCEPT Grian is ‘ooc’ for being portrayed like that?#*isn’t sorry I effed up my wording there meant the opposite.#even tho I’d argue he does have some scenes that feel like… idk… giving him trauma makes sense?#I know this is somehow related to watcher lore. but like… the watcher stuff can be traumatic. if u don’t like it just say u don’t like#watcher grian. why do you have to say u don’t like TRAUMATIZED grian when you MEAN you don’t like WATCHER grian.#you don’t like watcher grian because you think angst makes him OOC? I have no idea what goes on in ur brain genuinely.#DID YOU KNOW PEOPLE CAN MAKE ANGST AND STILL SEE THE CHARACTER AS PRETTY HAPPY. CUZ IRL TRAUMATIZED PPL CAN STILL BE HAPPY.#‘oh but they only show him being angsty and traumatized’ YOURE LOOKING AT THEIR ANGST ART IDK WHAT YOU EXPECTED.
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Absolutely love that every clone still working with the Empire that Crosshair has a mission with all go AWOL immediately after interacting with him. It draws him unwanted attention from the Admiral because it looks like he’s the key in the other clones getting radicalized and leaving to fight against the Empire instead of for them, but really it’s just because Crosshair doesn’t hesitate when they do to follow a clearly despicable order, clarifying that the Empire really isn’t the Republic they all fought for and that it isn’t peace they’re maintaining.
He’s not some rebel or otherwise, he just makes such shitty decisions that the other clones are like oh yeah the Empire is fucked up im out. That’s so fucking funny to me, actually.
#the bad batch. howzer and his group. tbb on kamino again. now commander fucking cody himself#THE commander Cody. imagine doing something so fucked that you’re the driving factor in getting commander cody to leave. incredible#it’s incredible. his track record is phenomenal. maybe if he wasn’t such a power hungry taken over by propaganda stubborn dickwad#I’d be impressed#sorry crosshair apologists I’m sick of this man making bad choices and blaming it on the rest of the bad batch#yes there’s more to it then him being stubborn he’s got his feelings of abandonment and the fact that it was nailed in before he got his#chip out doesn’t help#if he’s even telling the truth about that who fucking knows dude#but come fucking on now. i can understand him that doesn’t mean I like him. hope he comes to his senses at least#the bad batch#tbb#Star Wars#sw#commander cody#crosshair#the bad batch spoilers#z speaks
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i need querl to be handsome again! what happened? WHAT HAPPENED?
like, hello? WHY DID THEY FEEL THE NEED TO MAKE MY BOY UGLY POST-CRISIS? look at this beautiful babyboy (the biggest jerk in the universe). why isn’t he like that now?
#bariniac 5#querl dox#may he return to us one day#sorry to be “shallow“ i guess but i don’t like the ugly mf that is current querl#… maybe if he was mean i’d like him more#querl went from loser (affectionate) to loser (derogatory)#what having no supergirl in their life does to a mf
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#at some point you make peace with the fact that that's harry’s image#he is a womanizer#but god why do these stunts always have to be with the worst people ever????#i know next to nothing about her but i’ve seen the news about her and her latest dates#so it’s easy to assume she is not good news#but i really try to understand what’s their goal (and by their i mean harry himself and his team)#honestly after the mess that it was dwd and also holivia#and the way his comment about gay sex backlashed like so badly#and also after his grammy speech not being well received#i’d assume the best thing right now would be to keep things low and quiet#like he’s only touring right now nothing to promote nothing to be relevant about#so why not keep it this way#i just would think sometimes that would be for the best??? at least just for a little while#i guess i can answer my own question by saying they’re trying to keep his name relevant and keep people talking about him#just keeping his name in the news#so people don’t forget about him or whatever#maybe i’m being naive but not all press is good press#that’s more than clear now after how much hate he’s gotten in the last 7/8 months#so why do they always go back to the same route??#we are all tired - not just his fans - but every single person that’s perceiving harry is tired#people start to resent anyone who is in the media for too long#specially if said person keeps giving you reason to maybe not like them#i’m not even angry or feeling anything really - by now i’m used to it#but you can’t tell me that the same M.O. over and over and over and over again is good#this formula has already proven (many times!!!) to not always being the right answer#like seriously what's their goal?? because harry being a womanizer is more than well established by now#i don't think we need 'proof' of it for people to say 'oh it's just an excuse for the storyline of the next album'#we actually don't need any kind of proof anymore for the rumors to exist lmao#i guess all of this is me saying that i really wish i could have the answers i'll never actually have#anyway rant over i said nothing new goodnight
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tumblr’s feeling pretty dead for me (in terms of engagement) anymore so i don’t feel so shy about sharing this dumb Bloodborne art i did back in november im never gonna actually finish lmao
it’s for a fic i haven’t finished (or even posted) yet... there is a trend here 🙈
anyway Micolash is the slug man, change my mind
#art#artists on tumblr#fanart#bloodborne#bloodborne fanart#bloodborne oc#myart#despite the fic not centering on the augur of ebrietas in this picture... it really ought to be lmao#was very inspired by a fic i read where a choir member fed their augur some crumbs or smth from a table and i was like !!!!!!#LET THE FUNKY LITTLE GUYS BE THEIR OWN ENTITIES#also slugs are cute anyway so this is perfect#anyway i stg my one friend almost disowned me when i admitted i have read manymanymany fics with Micolash in it and like#i dont simp for him i just think ppl have some interesting ideas/headcanons for him thats all#he’s the resident weirdo and honestly im more 👀 for Valtr anyway if im being honest LMAO so this is fine#I wanna go full brainrot for Bloodborne again so the fic can like exist lmao but... im so close to finishing Sekiro#and finishing Sekiro means I can FINALLY play Elden Ring lmao so like... i have to be STRONG 😤#fics will wait even if I’d posted part of it already ya know?#anyway maybe tumblr will just turn into my wip/sketch blog#the lack of notes on anything when I *do* post just kinda draw further attention to some doubts ive been having lately#namely like... my value? like people only value fanart and it took me so long to get *out* of that mindset#but now im like staring into the void again like ‘damn maybe i should give up the oc shit and go back to fanart only’ 😔#so maybe i need to sit down and reassess my relationship with art again... i feel kinda stagnated atm anyway#but in my defense i have been busy so i haven’t drawn as much as I’ve wanted to#but blehhh NOT ME TACKING THIS STUFF ONTO A FUN POST#i should try to do this dumb idea i had based on the fact I had like 50+ pearl slugs in my inventory when i beat Bloodborne last time#tfw ur pockets are just filled to the brim with slugs
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hi so i just finished bridge to terabithia and now i’m unwell and my eyes are red because i’ve been crying before i’d even reached 20 minutes of it for i actually knew what was going to happen and by the time i reached an hour something something i just straight up sobbing screaming into my pillow. and now it’s 12 am and i’m still thinking about them. because god, look at them, how they were, the little world they lived in, wouldn’t you just love that, to run away, to escape, to grasp that childhood naivety and innocence that you lost a long time ago, to feel the sun in your skin and the air in your lungs and to paint fantasies and laugh and play and run hidden away from the world and find an old run down tree house and decided to make it your own little shelter and pin up canvases on the worn wood and paint and let your creativity goes wild and have someone understand you and gets you and do it with you, and wouldn’t you just love to have something so constant, so sincere, so genuine, so pure, so real, that there wasn’t anything else. if i knew i was going to cry this much, if i knew how much space this movie would make in my life, i wouldn’t have started this movie tonight. i would have been in peace on the floor of my room, not realizing how badly i actually want something like this even though i would never unironically admit this to anyone in my life or even myself when i’m outside of the familiar place of my mind, for that matters
#bridge to terabithia#how am i supposed to recover#i wasn’t planning to write a paragraph about it but yeah i kinda love this movie i guess#i needed a good cry and the universe didn’t stop me from choosing this movie i don’t know if that’s nice or simply mean#i was going to watch la la land after this but that’s not gonna happen now#i’m not reading back what i wrote otherwise i would just delete it because i’d think this movie deserves better more coherent thoughts#and i’d say that i’d just rewrite it tomorrow but then i wouldn’t#because nothing would ever beat the “everything i create has to be great or nothing” in me#and i never am proud of what i made unless it’s supposedly only for my viewing#so i actually don’t know if what i just wrote make sense but yeah#my eyes feel so weird right now#also the ending was definitely up to interpretations!! (spoiler alert* just in case)#i myself personally like to believe he dreamed up the last 30 minutes of it and didn’t even go to the museum#and so he’ll just wake up definitely shocked but then still find leslie in her house who was just about to meet him so they could go!!#and because the rope was cut off by the lightning from last night they decide to build the bridge so everyone could cross safe and sound!!#i like my ending better they really should change it#but no all and all the end was really beautiful#even though it took me maybe even an hour to get through it because i keep sobbing and have to repeat over and over to hear what they said#yeah okay anyways sorry for the rant<3#i’m not sure what this is#but glad i could get it off my chest#let’s see how to tag how to tag#movies#just#childhood#whatever <3#nadirants
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Some au antag doodles
#keese draws#eternal gales#decided to finally try my hand at drawing au fydd#and decided to also draw the two I’ve already designed#I kinda chickened out hard with this au fydd design but that’s mostly because I don’t know how I’d go about implementing the big thing I cut#I wanted to include a nod at my old tazian (the species I recycled for fydd) worldbuilding by giving him some rainbow ‘hair’#but I definitely am not capable of drawing my vision well enough for my standards rn so maybe one day I’ll go for it but not rn#but long story short in the original version of the species those who were more middling height would have strands of or even entirely#rainbow hair which was like 90% me bullshitting but I have thought of a retroactive excuse#long story short most tazians would either be super tiny or like stupid tall and more middling height ones were rare#but one thing I realized lately is that all my tall ones had white hair and all my short ones had black hair#so the retroactive excuse is that the rainbow is a transitional period that usually indicates young age but can sometimes be permanent if#they don’t end up becoming properly tall#and I wanted to nod at that concept with au fydd since he’s 15 and is what would be considered pretty middling height#but that would mean figuring out how I’d wanna go about coloring that and that would make me lose it#for context fydd’s hair is supposed to be a smidge feathery#and also I like to keep my characters having somewhat manageable color pallets#not that I’m particularly good at that but I try#oh also second biggest failure of this drawing I made it so I couldn’t draw his other eye rip#he’s missing his other eye due to basically completely destroying it in the process of blowing up his original universe#the other two aren’t missing any major design elements that I can think fo fortunately#these three are all favorites of mine amongst the au antags they’re so silly#and by that I mean one of them is a grown ass adult torturing teenagers and the other two are heavily traumatized teenagers that are#helping said grown ass adult torture teenagers#well only one of them is properly helping owl is just here to meet her crush#she genuinely did not think the others would get as far and go as hard as they did#au fydd was the first member of the squad au bloom recruited and he is easily the most loyal to her#he’s also the only one au bloom even mildly gives an actual shit abt#au fydd went through a Lot in his original universe and is very ‘let’s burn it all down’ with his approach to helping#owl also went through a lot but she came out the other end just desperately wanting to stop fighting
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pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah
con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines
#it’s getting better but only now that it’s like. 6pm#as weird as it sounds part of why this sucks is that I volunteered to come into work today cause there’s a concert going on nearby which#usually means we’re at least somewhat busy -> make better tips#and I couldn’t go in because well. you know#I’ve been sick and dying in bed all day unable to move or eat or anything#let alone take the bus and go to work#but. as much as I wish I didn’t go this overboard I don’t totally regret last night cause.#yeah. potential thing going on with cute coworker guy. OH and potential job opportunity at my favorite bar in town#apparently said coworker Also has a job at the bar in addition to where we both work and the bar is hiring barbacks at entry-level#so I have someone to vouch for me and the bartender we were talking to seemed to really want me to apply too#one thing that’s kinda funny to me about all this is that the first two places (a bar then a club) we were at felt really mid because they#were packed with way too many straight people (at a gay bar and a gay club)#but the bar we ended up at (where we ALWAYS end up at. it is the oasis. it is the only thing I can rely on) felt. like. not overwhelmingly#straight? at all? I mean part of it’s just luck in a way with just who happened to be there and all that but it’s also that the staff seem#pretty significantly populated with queer ppl#I complained to the bartender about how the club we were at (one of the biggest gay clubs in the city- if not The biggest) just felt kinda#meh because yeah maybe there were some guys dancing in jockstraps and whatever but the crowd itself like. did not feel largely queer#or at least didn’t have the spirit I’d hope for in a queer space if that makes sense. felt very conventional. not enough wild outfits and#makeup and gender fuckery and so on#and the bartender was like dude I KNOW right? I went off outside there once about the invasion of cishets when this space isn’t FOR them#and so on and so forth. and god that was So real.#so the experience at my beloved bar last night was like. 1) guy comes up behind me just to order a drink but i was saving a seat for my#friend who was in the bathroom and mentioned that in case he was looking to take the seat. chatted a little. ended with him pointing out#that a guy nearby was trying to holla at me.#2) I look over and yes. the dj is. in fact. looking directly at me and mouthing the lyrics to whatever song was playing pointed my way.#it was pretty sweet honestly I think it was partly cause I looked like I was shy and alone#3) whatever gay shit was going on with my coworker and i. amusingly he seems to get more flamboyant when he drinks just like i do.#im not 100% sure what his sexuality is but i Am 100% sure it is Not straight. but yeah. if it hadn’t been so close to closing time ive been#hardcore wondering where that would’ve gone. maybe its for the best that i had to go when i did cause i was pretty drunk and who knows when#I could’ve hit the amount of drunk it takes to like outright say hey just so you know i’d suck your dick right now if you wanted
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about to be sooo nosy so. my apologies. but. morgan frost? girlfriend? do share (or don’t! again this is so nosy i’m sorry)
for legal purposes i can neither confirm nor deny anything about morgan and his girlfriend but afaik i think he’s single right now? at one point (within the past four years 😭) he did for sure have a girlfriend and that is the extent of my wag knowledge
#anon PLEASE i am the nosiest person in the world i understand i want to know everything. ever. however#because i have no evidence and don’t want to spread unfounded rumors i will state for the jury i am not a gossip blog#& anything i say should be taken with a grain of salt. or a vsco deep dive & also maybe a dig into the flyers media archives. wrt UNfounded#but i will gossip in your dms because it’s a vital method of communication and important for community building.#also i’m like 95% sure i just osmosed the fact that morgan and his girlfriend broke up sometime earlier in the hockey season from someone#else (probably flyerskay) and accepted it at face value like absolutely i’d trust kay with my life. she would never lie to me and therefore#i can’t be lying to you. i can’t remember morgan’s gf’s name tho but i can like. vividly remember her artsy possessive vsco photos 😭 help#that man posts more about tom petty than he does anyone else in his life besides joel so really how would we know if hes posted her less#the answer is we wouldn’t and i want to say her name is katie SO bad but i know that’s tyson’s gf it’s like. victoria or stacie or somethin#& i want to see if SHE deleted all her vsco pictures of him bc that’s how we’d know they broke up. frosty stop following so many girls#i want to try and find her and see (she’s a model and she was public and had her vsco linked so all of this is public info btw.)#ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA OANDJRIWNDHOWHDB IT IS 1:38 AM AND I HAVE JUST MANAGED. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD ANON HOLD ON#BUCKLE YOURSELF THE FUCK IN FOR AN ANSWER YOU DID NOT ASK FOR BECAUSE THIS IS A R I D E AND I NEED TO YELL ABOUT IT I CAN’T MY GOD I CANNOT#B R E A T H E i’m about to start crying again but the backstory is that. i have had a fic that i have been working on for literal years.#my version history says March 15 2021 and it started in my notes app about 3000 words before that and it’s based off of a tweet i thought#calla had quoted and just said ‘Joel’ about but in my notes i never#saved the actual tweet and many times throughout the years i have gone back and advanced searched every version of joel and joelle and bee#and behavior on calla’s blog that i could possibly think of and just assumed like. it must’ve gotten deleted or the account suspended and i#could never remember the wording well enough to just google it but believe me i tried and put in every variation. never found it in 4 years#i try periodically. fast forward to about twenty minutes ago i am looking through kay’s twitter and searching vsco because i SWEAR she has#the picture of frosty’s gf’s fingernail marks in the back of frosty’s shoulders i am talking about / I can’t find her vsco linked anywhere#but i’m like ok. search up a couple other things and think about who might have it and on a WHIM look up vsco in ash notthequiettype’s acct#no results okay whatever i think about what else could maybe pull it up for me so I have SOMETHING for you. I search frosty. I scroll. GUES#WHAT I FUCKING FIND FROM NOVEMBER 13TH 2020 it is THE FANTASTIC TWEET THAT SPAWNED 16K OF NOTES & FIC & A SPREADSHEET OF JOEL’S CLASSES#AND I NEVER WOULD’VE FOUND IT AGAIN IF NOT FOR THIS!!! LOSING IT!!! by it I mean my mind and my sleep schedule!!! it’s 2AM now good night!!#liv in the replies#morgan frost#philadephia flyers
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wowwy wawawa. was worried about seeing a new psychiatrist, but any doc that gives me a month of ativan is okay in my book.
so anyway, I got that and also starting something called remeron after the weekend is over (going out of town for my brother’s 2 day chess tournament and don’t want to deal with side effects during it). Let’s be hopeful.
#I’m just saying I’m more used to drs not wanting to prescribe harder antianxieties but this dude was nice#plus I’d been a patient there before + recent ER trips and yadda yadda yadda it’s not like I DON’T need any#sorry that first paragraph came off as very ‘hehe I got drugs to abuse’#but really I’ll end up being very frugal with them and hopefully they’ll help with some of this irrational anxiety.#I’m happy for the help#I was very worried walking into his office. very severe. more than one bible lying around. uncomfortable seating.#but he ended up being pretty knowledgeable. we talked about prescriptions I’d tried before. he worked with my concerns.#new med is supposed to also help with anxiety and probably make me sleepier. which I kinda want maybe. I haven’t slept well lately.#and then I have regular ol therapy on Monday. so. we’re gettin at it. mentally. yup.#also like I mentioned. brother has a chess tournament this weekend#maybe you’ve followed me long enough to remember I took him last year. and the year before. and the year before.#I almost wasn’t going to go with him this year but now I am and I’m psyched#I mean. it’s not a super exciting event. I just sit around all day while he plays. but I like it. I like being there for him.#what was I saying? I dunno. this is too many tags. blegh blegh blegh.#you can ignore this#text
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WAKES UP IN A COLD SWEAT. kaemugi utenanthy/rgu au. junko akio. monokuma chuu-chuu. it’s all coming together
#kaede in the boys uniforms#teehee the weird but nice girl in big round glasses needs to be saved… guess she’s the one who has to do it!#wydm she’s helping to manipulate everything. she’s innocent#killing your prince gf#THEY CAN ESCAPE THE NARRATIVE. TOGETHER. THE NARRATIVE TSUMUGI HELPED WRITE#BUT IS ALSO A VICTIM OF#leaving the fake revolving world/killing games for the new real world…#kiibo…what to do with him… what if instead of chuu-chuu tsumugi had a little robot#I guess if I wanted I could keep jin as headmaster of hopes peak which is already a fucked up school#and then mukuro could be mikage. and junko could be that their guy who anthy impersonates. so tsumugi can impersonate junko again :)#mukuro would be a pretty good rose bride if junko is akio :|#in a more general au I’d probably put mukuro in anthy’s place instead of tsumugi LMAO#and then tsumugi could be mikage or something . ooh or wakaba#kirumi juri…?#I mean kirumi would make for a good anthy too#angie shiori… idk. yuri forever#I don’t know who ruka is he doesn’t matter#shuichi as miki. obviously.#kaito would be one of the duelists. idk who maki and ouma could be and still stay true to their characters…#I could see maki as a black rose duelist#gonta as a duelist too (wanted to be a gentleman/prince)#(maybe a black rose duelist who takes kirumi’s sword?)#monokuma theatre as shadow girls baby!#oh maybe ouma is like. one man shadow theatre. because he’s usually so story-stealing/reality breaking#I think peko and fuyuhiko’s entire thing deserves to be here somewhere tbh#my post#danganronpa#revolutionary girl utena#kaemugi
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#personal#my mom told me yesterday my brothers paying to have my door replaced today or tomorrow bc he misses me and thinks is affecting our#relationship badly#and she wasn’t supposed to tell me but i’m glad she did cause like#she tried saying she’s getting it replaced immediately grilled her on where the fuck she got that money since i know we have more important#issues and she IMMEDIATELY snitched#anyway i feel complicated. thank you for the door. that you already said you would do. what was the point of all of this#and i’m re reading the messsges maybe i was too mean but also 8 months no door and everyone being mean to me about it#he told my mom he misses me and she said how sweet it was to hear that and i should consider just. letting this go#and she doesn’t want to minimize the door or what it represents beyond just the door#but didn’t really get it when i was like it matters if he’s doing this bc he misses me or bc he thinks he did anything wrong#like he can do both but. i just want to know he’s not thinking i’m some brat for asking for something? normal? or that this won’t happen#again cause this always happens.#she was like isn’t it more romantic that he misses you so much he doesn’t care if he’s right or wrong? girl what the fuck are you on#anyway i feel weird bc like. it’s nice but i didn’t need him to shell this out#and i feel oddly like a brat to get this expressed done from when i said im upset with him#like 20 days later but feels fast. and i wish he could have reached out and talked to me#but also i’ve been so angry and resentful i don’t know if i’d want to talk especially if it’s just the same convo over and over#i don’t need grand gestures i just wish this stuff wouldn’t happen in the first place#and i’m worried that after the door my mom will get upset if i’m still upset with my brother after#and i’m not sure how he thinks we’re gonna get back to talking if i can’t acknowledge he got the door.#like can’t be like hey thanks! also we need to talk about how you use money instead of ur words.#like in this case i genuinely really needed the door but also it’s just hard to be like hey you did this thing that was unacceptable#also thanks for the full tank of gas dinner and 100 bucks. unprompted. anyway it’s unacceptable-#like it sounds stupid right? anyway i don’t know if he’ll tell me or just try to slide back into talking without ever talking about it#i don’t know and i feel like an asshole no matter what route i go#but will say funny i hid that he broke it from him and he’s hiding that he’s fixing it for me something something#i just feel weird about it. i miss him but also don’t miss getting shit from him or the other one lately i’m just#honestly doing my own thing and just getting through the day or enjoying it too much to think about him sometimes#but i do miss him and i don’t want to be constantly fighting or arguing with my family. it’s not a nice feeling.
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ooc ramble in tags
#✦ ooc. ╱ you know what comes with this great power.#i think i need to up my interpretation of enji. i’d like to work on his interiority some more#especially if he has more intense bonds#maybe give him npd. put him into therapy#i think it’s obvious he has anger management issues#part of his brand was being crude and standoffish to the point that looking and being gentle to his fans makes them not like him#i think itd be fun to have the hpsc encourage him in his abuse#something to test out for sure#cont:#when he tries to get better i think he can get a big martyr feel#which makes him sound awkward (ie: quiet / meaning well / lots of pauses / quiet voices)#and when ppl continue to call him out he gets irrationally upset#’im trying how could you do this to me’#’you make me not want to get better. you’re the reason why i’m failing’ etc.#be sure to catch emotional abuse / and gaslighting /#it’s gonna be pretty hard on me so i’m gonna limit his bonds to like#three people#that i’m gonna work on him and develop him with
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Ayo does anyone have any theories as to why the Formless Mother is also called “The Mother of Truth”? That has to be significant in some way.
#elden ring#my posts#it’s from the blood flame description#the mother of truth craves a wound#I’m honestly not sure how to interpret it. is it saying that the formless mother is an outer god whose domain also includes Truth?#I mean we already have the frenzies flame with Chaos and the greater will with Order#and yet it seems like the mohgwyn dynasty is inherently built on lies and deception and pretending to be more grand than it really is#perhaps it’s meant to be a juxtaposition between Mohg’s mother figures since he’s Mr. Huge Mommy Issues and all#calling the formless mother the mother of truth would then pose Marika as a mother of lies. which given mohgs mindset would make sense#where one mother abandoned him in the sewers and decrees his curse a monstrous abomination the formless mother showed him the ‘truth’#that his curse really isn’t a curse. or at least not something to despise (which I agree with tbh. the omen did nothing wrong)#so maybe the description is from the Mohgwyn dynasty viewpoint as opposed to a neutral narrator stating facts about the world#either way both are interesting and I’d like to hear other ppls input!!!#I just think the outer gods are neat#also mohg stop messing around with the blood of outer gods have you learned NOTHING from bloodborne???
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//Something I relate to with Samurai Jack, is that feeling of life finding every opportunity to push you back down, to kick your legs out from under you, bring you to your knees, leave you screaming, in pain, desperate, on fire. And yet to persevere, not just for your sake, but because you don’t see any other way. And somehow, even limping, you’ll find a way to wring out peace, happiness, contentment, love, and passion from this never ending path of pain. If you are to suffer, but there is no other way, there must be joy to be gripped with white knuckles and hungry claws, to fight for peace and to strive for hope even in the midst of all your anger and confusion and despair.
I may feel like there’s no way out, but I’ve got to keep moving. There are people out there depending on me to not give up. I can’t let these forces trying to cut my journey to an abrupt end win— even if I’m tired, even if I feel like it’s too much. When I feel alone, I let my mind picture what they’d want, I let myself mourn and wonder and wish, but I don’t let it give up. I can’t go see you yet. I have more to do. Watch me and I will see you when my work is done. But I will hold onto you for all of my life. I will make my life a service to you, my actions a memorial that can be trailed to you. In every move I make I will tell the ones I love, gone and with me, “this is for you, this is for you,” and when I live, even with tears and anger and joy, “this is for you.”
#『名誉: musings』#『 out of robes 』#『 meta 』#『 sharkie chews the scenery 』#//and maybe someday once the oppressive darkness doesn’t feel so close I can say ‘this is for me too’.#//hi guys I bet you weren’t surprised when I didn’t actually start rping again after trying to come back#//that’s because I posted that promo got zero response and felt discouraged#//and then life threw every awful thing it had at me.#//I feel like haven’t been able to do anything but fight to survive lately. been in a bad place#//and right as new year’s started I lost a very very beloved friend and pet unexpectedly and too soon#//I’ve lost a lot of loved ones these past few years. it builds up. I think this last loss was the most unexpected though.#//since then I’ve been in a worse state mentally that I probably have been since high school#//but I refuse to give up hope because that’s what helped me climb out of my last endless pit#//I’ve been really wanting to write Jack again since I posted the promo but haven’t really had much I could do#//plus I’ve been battling all this irl stuff and it’s made it hard to find much left over for hobbies#//but I’m posting this both as a love letter for jack and for those here I care about#//and to say I’m still here. I won’t abandon Jack I don’t think. he means too much to me#//I’m thinking if I start rping him again I’m going to worry less about cosmetics and worry more about getting something written#//I’ve been worried about trying to be presented in a nice aesthetic fashion but tbh I think that’s blocking me from actually doing things#//I’d like to do a soft restart and maybe focus more on the people I know have talked to me and talk to them#//hopefully you will have me back after to much time away and waffling to get started again. I had decent reasons but still#//being away does a lot to severe decent connections#//anyway. Jack means Hope and Healing to me. no matter how much he goes through it isn’t about the pain.#//it’s about the Herculean yet incredibly human task of overcoming constant and monumental odds because you care.#//because at your core is hope and passion and love.#//I‘ve been crying writing this so it’s probably very sappy and unpolished but I’m not sorry lol#//listening to my old playlists I used to play on loop whenever writing Jack or thinking about him and it made me emotional
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