#… I don’t want to be alone anymore
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i want to be loved so badly
#i feel like all i am is just a toy that people only want to play with then toss away whenever they feel like it#all i want is a partner#i’m so tired of being alone#i don’t want to be alone anymore#yet each passing day nothing changes#i always feel like i’m waiting for something that never happens#i’m really fucking sick of this like what am i doing wrong?!?
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I don’t know if it’s because I’m drunk, sick or sad, but today two people came and comforted me. A woman who was so comforting and hugged me, and a man who was so strong but so soft. They held me as I cried. I asked them to take over, they didn’t, but they held me up so I could keep going.
#tw alcohol#tw unreality#I think I made them up#but I want them to be real so badly#I don’t want to be alone anymore
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i am trying to stay positive about getting older, about my friends not saying happy birthday to me, about not getting what i told my mother a thousand times i wanted (and needed) and about still being alone and not having had an actual relationship at nineteen and not being loved back and always being sad and never being invited to things and my so-called best friends not caring about me and my so-called best friend not texting me back for weeks on end and strangers wishing me happy birthday before my best friend does but it’s kinda hard
#this is what i don’t like about birthdays#they always remind me that i haven’t accomplished anything for a year#i’m still the same person i was on my eighteenth birthday#i’m still alone#i don’t want to be alone anymore
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I’m gonna cry I’m so anxious rn my brain hates me
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Doom and gloom in the tags
#what if this is just the way life will be now? what if this never ends?#I don’t want to be alone anymore
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please for the love of god i want to be in love
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you aren’t alone anymore
He’s not just checking you out
He’s sure
He wants you tonight
you better not hurt Him again
doesn’t matter that you were a fool
you won’t remember anything after He walks through the door
you can say you’re sorry but He won’t say it’s cool
youre never gonna be alone again
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im unhappy and there’s no one here
#v#i don’t want to be alone anymore#i want to go somewhere where i’m not afraid to be myself#i want to go somewhere where people don’t recognize me#and i can talk to people and make friends#i’m tired of lying about everything and hating myself
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Sometimes I forget that we’re not actually together, and that’s when I feel sorta okay. Tonight is not one of those times.
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