#hope all the antis were crying reading about how much they love each other

[nicolibbyquotes]

“Other lives, other existences, it didn't matter. They were polarities, and wherever they went, his half would always find hers.”

- “The Atlas Complex” by Olivie Blake

[baurbiediv]

hate to be lame {2}

PAIRING ➔ jj maybank x pogue!reader, jj x kiara (oops.)

WARNING(S) ➔ small mention of cheating, crying

SYNOPSIS ➔ tensions begin to face an all time high following the aftermath of you and jj’s argument, things become very rocky and you worry that he’s began to fall out of love with you and has found someone else who’s better for him.

BASED OFF THE SONG ‘hate to be lame’ by lizzy mcalpine (i recommended listening while reading!)

part one ➔ here

A/N ➔ thank you for all the love on capsize + the first part of this! and i am NOT A KIARA ANTI YALL PLEASE, that’s my girl fr

-

two weeks.

a whole two weeks had passed by since a word was spoken to jj and to make things worse, it was an argument. one thing the both of you agreed on was to never be mad at each other, clearly that didn’t work out.

trying to get jj to understand what he did was reckless didn’t quite go the way you expected it to. emotions got the best of you, and resulted in you emotionally lashing out on him.

ultimately, this caused jj to retaliate but before you could say anything else, it was already too late. by then he’d already told you to get out, there wasn’t anything else that could’ve possibly been said or done to change the outcome of this.

so now here you were, right back at the chateau. looking out the window, there he was, jj. the yellow and orange hue of the peaking sunset hitting his skin almost perfectly. how badly you wanted to get up and tell him that you love him and you were sorry and that the accident caused you to freak out and you could get pass this.

but it wasn’t that easy, whenever something like this happens, he starts to push away. not because he wants to, but because that’s what he’s used to, when he loves someone too much, he pushes people out. this wasn’t easy like people had always said, jj wasn’t the easiest person to read yet you already knew that.

you watched as kiara, pope, sarah, and jj all gathered onto the dock laughing while john b made his way back to the chateau. “y/n, you coming along? i’d hate to leave you by yourself.” he said, snapping you out your thoughts.

“oh, yeah let me grab my bag.” you told him, for the first time in a couple of weeks john b was probably the first person to see you even remotely crack a small smile. he gave you a thumbs up before leaving the house. without noticing, you’d been playing with the star pendant on your necklace.

it was the sole purpose that reminded you why the two of you were even together, you were his star that kept its light in the midst of his darkness. but that light was slowly losing it’s shine.

you took a deep breath before recollecting your thoughts and making your way down to the dock. noticing how kiara had stood very closely to jj, you swallowed the impending lump in your throat, that jello feeling taking over your body this time.

pope noticed as he looked at you, “you okay y/n?” he asked you worriedly, you gave him a nod, “i’m alright, thank you pope.” you whispered as he helped you board the boat. after what seemed like minutes, the boat finally took off and the group searched for a place to stop and relax.

everyone seemed to be having fun, except you. the thing is, it wasn’t on purpose, this is how you were feeling. you tried to cheer yourself up but it wasn’t working. your own boyfriend didn’t seem to care about the upset mood you were in, hell, two weeks. no texts, no calls, no nothing.

you watched the way kiara and jj interacted with each other. looks and touches lingering longer than they were supposed to, jokes being exchanged between the two.

you weren’t jealous, but kiara knew what had happened between the two of you, why were they all of a sudden closer (as if they weren’t already close.) together.

staying on the boat, you watched as everyone jumped into the water. you covered yourself in your jacket and the emotions has finally overcome you. the tears kept coming, you poorly attempted to keep your sobs quiet in hopes to not draw attention to yourself.

everything happened all at once and way too fast. during these two weeks, this was the reason why he wasn’t reaching out.

because he found someone better, someone who could be there for him. you were always there when he needed you, the one he turned to whenever he had problems with his father, or himself.

the girl he was supposed to confide in the most. all the love, all the time, all the joy, spent with you had gone to waste. and over a stupid argument that could have been prevented.

god how you wished to just disappear into thin air right now.

—

you found yourself sitting alone in the chateau again, and watching the group all gather around a small bonfire. kiara, closely wrapped around jj. never did the feeling of betrayal feel so raw right now. you looked away and felt your body sink lower into the couch.

the door swung open, to your dismay, jj. the blond boy saw your figure but didn’t meet eye contact with you. he made his way to the kitchen, this was your opportunity to talk to him. gathering your tired limbs you too, made your way into the kitchen.

it was fairly small, so there wasn’t anyway you’d be standing far from him. “j, can we please talk?” you asked him, his back turned to you. his body tensed at the sound of your frail voice. he turned around to finally face you.

you missed his face.

some cuts from past adventures were now healing. “yeah.. what do you want to talk about?” he said leaning against the counter.

“us. what are we?” you looked at him.

he sighed, not being prepared for this confrontation.

“you haven’t spoken to me in two weeks. i’m losing my mind here j. i know i shouldn’t have lashed out on you, i’m sorry.” you said, shifting your weight between both of your feet.

jj ran his hands through his hair as he let out a frustrated sigh, “i’m sorry y/n. i really am,” he breathed out, eyes landing on the chain he bought you, you still kept it on.

“i pushed you away because i fucked up. a couple days after the argument, i told kiara everything. my head was everywhere and .. and we made out.” he told you.

way to go.

your heart quite literally felt like it just got ripped out right of your chest and stomped on. you leaned against the counter and put your hands on both sides on your face before bringing them down to your mouth.

jj looked at you, his eyes full of worry and sorrow. he hates that he did this to himself, to you.

“did you do anything else?” you quickly got out not wanting to avoid any more hurt.

“no. absolutely not.” he breathed out.

you ultimately broke down and he pulled you into a hug. “y/n. i’m so sorry, it meant nothing.” he spoke softly as he kissed the top of your head. you cried as much as your heart would let you right into his chest.

“i’m so fucking sorry i didn’t anything sooner. i couldn’t bring myself to tell you. i knew we left on bad terms and i didn’t want to make it worse, i’m so sorry my love.” he said rubbing your back.

“jj.” you said, lifting your head from his chest. you calling his name alone was enough to grab his attention.

“don’t ever do this again. from now on we tell each other everything. you have to start trusting me, i can’t have you pushing me away. not then, not now, not ever.” your eyes glossy.

he nodded, you hugged him tightly as he rocked you side to side.

you were his star that kept its light in the midst of his darkness.

—

[yakichoufd]

Sleep deprived mind communicating with sleep deprived mind!!! Hi howdy I'm the Jhin anon again here to scream about the sketches. I got Covid for the first time yesterday and I've been miserable but oh my god the sketches are like buckets of seretonin! Your wonderful responses have given me enough confidence to come off of anon lol.

Again I agree with all of what you've said. I'm so very torn because I was a League player back in 2014 and then Arcane reawoke the love I had for the game. I thought Viktor was really cool in League, badass scientist dude! And then Arcane Viktor? I just wanna give him a hug and tell him he's gonna be okay. So I'm torn. I wanna see the Herald in all his power, but I also want Viktor to remain the absolute gem that he is.

I'm a Jhin main though, I love that angsty man. He's a fascinating character, a meticulous criminal psychopath who believes his victims are works of art. There's something about the dynamic of Jhin seeing Viktor as a work of art so priceless that he couldn't stand to kill him. And Viktor, recently struggling with the Hexcore and how he perceived Jayce's lack of understanding (refer to me crying at "Jayce will understand" followed by "I'm from the Undercity" scenes). Having Jhin by his side, admiring his work and seeing the shades of purple in Viktor's skin as splashes of watercolour rather then corruption by the Hexcore??? They could be good for each other, in their own anti-hero way.

I had to chuckle at the throuple idea with Jayce. I love Jayce, I think he's a bit of a dork (affectionately). It's likely that he'd be quite intimidated by Jhin.

Aaaaaaand again I'm just Unwell Essay Writing in your asks I'm so sorry 😂 if you do get the time, Jhin is a very complex character to look into. I hope you get some good sleep 🥰

I'm sorry you are sick and I hope you'll feel better soon! <3 I'm glad my doodles cheered you up and I really enjoy our conversation! I'm now very intrigued by Jhin and him thinking Viktor is a piece of art is very sweet! I'm looking forward to discover this character if he 'd show up in arcane!! :)

And I agree with you, Viktor must have lost so much trust in Jayce with this "they're dangerous" sentence. He thought their dream and goals were the same until this scene. I think Jayce managed to regain some trust at the end of the season (with his speech to the councilors) but I don't think Viktor would ever see Jayce as he used to (in the context that their divorce goes super slowly). Even if our dear Jayce gave independence to Zaun. i-i It took me some time to appreciate this character, he is a little bit more complex to understand than the other ones. Most of the others champions have a clear motivation and path to follow while Jayce is a little bit different imo. In act 1 he is this clever young scientist who is risking everything to prove his theory and in the other acts he just say "yes" to everyone haha! Sorry I'm talking a lot about Jayce (or Viktor) cause they're the only character that I know haha! I'm going to read Jhin lol's lore thanks to you! I hope you'll be able to sleep and feel better soon! take care <3

[targaryenrealnessdarling]

I am on board like the fiddlers at the titanic for an...epilogue...

You know, they say Harrenhal is haunted...and I know someone that should get haunted, a lot, violently, possibly to the point of utter madness...*cough cough*

But either way I wanted to thank you for this incredible story. It was tense to read and truly heartbreaking. I hope it didn't take too much out of you to write such dark material. Although it made my heart shatter for all the lost and forgotten women throughout history (you really hit a nerve with that one) I think this story is such an important one in a fandom that in a way often romanticises royalty due to the source material. I think you really struck a core about ASOIAF with this story. It, and HOTD too, is at it's core an anti-war anti-monarchy story, tricking the reader and viewer to root for the powerful by pitting them against each other. Only in some moments like the Arya Storyline in the Riverlands, to we as consumers get confronted by the consequences of such systems and the inhumane nature. I am so glad you chose to explore this dark side not just of Aemond but the world and the setting. It was grueling and shocking, just as it should be, and written with such precision and excellence. I commend you for taking on such a subject matter and I applaud you for the execution of it. Thank you so much for creating this story.

First of all, thank you so much for this wonderfully in depth comment, 👏I 👏fucking 👏love 👏you!!

An Epilogue might be in the works bbgirls 😚

Thank you for thinking of me! At heart, I enjoy angsty stories so I'm thinking now if I should be more affected by writing it cos I'm really not 🙃🙃🙃

All of what you've said about forgotten women, romanticising royalty and how it ties in to the asoiaf universe is just spot on and entirely what I was going for with the story. Like yes, Aemond for example, we can feel sorry for briefly in certain situations, but just because he is royalty doesn't mean that he's not a self-centred, privileged individual who really has no clue about what is going on the world around him.

In true Targaryen fashion, he wanted something, had it for a while til he fucked it up and there was something so challenging (in a good way) about writing it from the perspective of someone without power and without sway in this universe. I wanted it to really be a love letter to women who are largely forgotten in history either for things they didn't do, or things that were ultimately out of their control (Anne Boleyn for example when Henry VIII tried to erase her from history, and if she was treated that way as a queen, then what hope was there for our maidservant).

Thank you again for providing your viewpoint on my story, I love comments like this 💕🥲😚 crying real tears

[goodtimesyana]

contemplating my first long term relationship with my highschool/college boyfriend and the ways i contributed to my own suffering- i think the worst thing i do to other people is that i demand reassurance, and that i put my pain on display to test their willingness to love and forgive me. this is not to say that there's something wrong about sharing in one's pain- only that reassurance-seeking is functionally the same as putting a band-aid over a bullet hole. at some point i just need to lean in and trust what the other person is telling me.

in early recovery i found the idea of "detaching with love" to be really objectionable and anti-relational- mostly because my first introduction to the term was through media about breaking up with someone and moving on forever and never ever speaking to them again because maybe that is sometimes the most loving thing to do. it wasn't until i started reading and speaking with others about codependency extensively that i came to recontextualize "detachment" as trust. at first it sort of felt counterintuitive- why wouldn't i be attached to someone i trust? why wouldn't i be attached to someone i feel safe with? why wouldn't i want to nurture a relationship that i love? why do i have to let go? i just thought detaching and letting go were about giving up the other person- but the truth is that it's about trust. it's all about trust.

the thing i have always gotten attached to is the narrative that i have created in my own head about others- that they don't love me at all, that they lack the emotional depth that i have, that all of my relationships are doomed from the start and i can only feel safe after i've run them through an emotionally laborious gauntlet and taken up so much of their time and energy that they couldn't think to abandon me. i don't think that i've ever done this with the intention of hurting someone else- only, i made my pain a priority over everybody else's. it wasn't until very recently, after my time alone out west and my relationship with david began to deepen that i clearly saw someone else's hurt and helplessness and felt it not as my own, but as a consequence of my own belligerence. i still remember when i had a screaming meltdown at a dive bar and laid down drunk in the street, and david had a stricken look on his face and kept asking me to come here. i'd never seen a look of such intense sorrow and concern on the face of someone i loved. it was a massive contributing factor in our breakup.

and the catalyst of the screaming panic attack was that he mentioned he saw his ex at the bar, of all things- and that he didn't want to be there and we should go to a different bar, and he'd be more comfortable that way. but i had become attached to a narrative about her, and mythologized their relationship- i had fully convinced myself that the second he saw her again, he would recognize my inferiority, and he would want to leave me, and there was nothing i could do to stop it. he wasn't uncomfortable, he was stricken by my inadequacy and wanted to leave before i discovered his filthy secret. my suffering had little to do with my attachment to david, and more to do with my attachment to my expectations of what he would do, and how he would hurt me, and my attachment to my own hurt. yes, i was so attached to my own pain that i could not see his, and i could not provide him with the safety he needed to process it.

and this was the case with my first boyfriend as well- but in that relationship, i wasn't even aware of the cycle of our behavior, and so i could not hope to be liberated from it. i would become unhappy and cry, so he would become unhappy and cry, and then i would become even more unhappy, and we would cling to each other, and we would perpetuate each other's hurt and anguish, and we would validate it. we were not managing it, nor were we suppressing it- we succumbed to it for the years that we were together. we simply abode by our hurt. dramatic and declaratory displays of anguish became the foundation of our relationship.

i think that our attachment to narratives about others and expectations that we create subconsciously are at the inflamed root of our suffering. as for me, i have always said that i valued fidelity, and i believed in the possibility of love which lasts a lifetime- but i never behaved as a person who accepted that fidelity and commitment were attainable for me. i said that i wanted a balanced and intimate relationship and never behaved as a person who appreciated being in one. so what do i do? there's no point in self flagellating. there's no point in over-communicating my hurt, in fact i suspect that will only make things worse. forgive myself, forgive others. love by example.

[accirax]

And with that, the polls are closed!

we uh... we were really going through it on this one, huh?

Not only in terms of denial, but in terms of being divided! My compliments to the killer, they made a baffling case indeed.

Thank you to everybody who participated in this poll! Even though the results weren't necessarily different from what I expected, it was still fun to watch the numbers go up and down all week. If you're curious about the actual numbers of how many people voted for each option, I've already done the math, and will talk about it below, along with some of my general thoughts and opinions.

Levi absolutely swept this poll with 129 votes on his own. Good god, man, that's more people than are in the entire US Senate! I can see why he would be a popular choice, though-- he has the means (strength) and the motive (his literal motive) to pull it off. I still feel like he still has a greater role in the story that has yet to be completed, but that's just my two cents.

Hu was an easy second with 72 votes going her way. This one surprised me a little. Like, I definitely knew that there were Hu culprit truthers out there, but I didn't know there were so many! I don't think I've actually seen someone write out a full theory of how and why they think she would be the blackened. Is it that most of you think that she was manipulated by David? Is it connected to her wire being used in the Ace near-murder? Or is is something else entirely? If anyone has defended their Hu choice in writing, please send it my way, because I'd love to hear what you think! (/gen)

After much fluctuation, J wound up in third with 27 votes. So my anti-dressup theory meant nothing to you guys, huh? (/j) Well, unlike Levi, I would believe that J's role in the story could be done here (I honestly have no idea what to do with her in terms of death order predicitons), so I understand the appeal. I do wonder, though, what percentage of J culprit theorizers think it's her because of the dressup theory, and what percentage believe it's her for other reasons (her relationship with Arei, her remote, etc). I'd make another poll, but it'd only have an audience of 27.

Ace took fourth with 21 votes. He started off slow, but gained traction over time! Ace is certainly quite relevant to this chapter, what with fighting Levi, bullying Nico, and overhearing the conversation between David and Arei, so this could definitely be the point of Ace's exeunt. Venus and I have basically determined that, story pacing wise, it probably makes the most sense if Ace dies here or survives. So for the sake of all Ace fans (including myself), I hope it's the latter.

Eden ultimately wound up with 19 votes. I would guess most are disciples of the 1moreff-creator/thebadjoe scripture, much like I am. As someone who currently believes that Eden is the blackened, I'm a little disappointed that she didn't do better, but also not that surprised. Actually, the reason why I made this poll in the first place was wondering how many people actually believed all of the giant theories we were writing about grippy tape. Somewhat like Ace, I originally believed that Eden would be a big, important character in DRDT as a spin on Teruko's "rival." Not necessarily a survivor, but at least, like, Chapter 4 or 5? While I now think that her character could end here and still be a well-written and important addition to the cast, I can obviously see why people would be against the idea, and believe that that still could be her path.

Fifth place is Whit, with 14 votes. To be frank, I don't really understand this one, given his apparent day-long alibi with Charles and openness about sharing his motive secret. But, I 100% respect whatever your guys' reading led you to. Maybe I'm the one getting duped by Whit's quips and quirks. Maybe Good Grief isn't his character song. Maybe then I can stop crying every time I look at it--

Sixth is the nebulous Teruko/Charles/something else option, with a combined 13 votes. (13, huh? Teruko coding.) I really hated having to combine all of these choices, especially seeing that they did get thirteen votes. Like I said in the comments, I suspect that most people just used this as a "see options" choice, but now I'll never know! I do feel like I saw at least one person semi-suspect Charles, so maybe there were some real votes for Charles or Teruko out there. If any of you want to share, I'm all ears.

Arturo wound up in seventh, having 11 votes. I love a good "suspected but disproven at the beginning of the trial, so you think they're good, but then it wraps around and you learn that they actually were the culprit all along"! To be honest, I (sadly) don't think Arturo is long for this world, but it could still be interesting to see more of his reactions to J having declared war against him by outing his secret. Not to mention how the student body as a whole would feel about him after learning about how he threatened Eden and led to his sister's death. A definite option, although a low one by consensus.

Our main literature man insane, David, got 8 votes. When I first got into DRDT, I thought I had been spoiled that David was the Chapter 2 killer, so I guess that would be the fulfillment of that prophecy. Maybe I'm the Ultimate Clairvoyant, who knows. The appeal for David is there, given that he... literally confessed to it. Him getting an MV also matches Min's MV after she was the culprit. I think the Trial is probably about to lead us away from David as a suspect, but we'll see what happens if/when DRDT resumes.

Veronika has 5 votes, which puts her in ninth. Her percentage was weirdly high at the beginning, so I guess most of the Veronika culprit enjoyers are prone to stalking the DRDT tags? Or they just really like to vote. Not sure why Veronika would want to kill here, given that she seems to enjoy the killing game. Maybe it's about her yet unrevealed secret? Hit me up with an explanation if you've got one :D

Nico has four votes at tenth most likely. After trying to kill Ace, they just couldn't resist going for another, huh...? I feel like, given their behavior, Nico didn't try to kill again here (why would they target Arei, also), but who can really say? At least if Nico is the culprit, it might give us more of an excuse to discuss the gym crime scene in canon. I want answers for that thing so bad.

And in the end, even Rose couldn't avoid getting one vote. Sorry to everyone who was hoping that she could escape scot free. Of course, given that literally only one person thinks she did it, she's probably going to survive this trial. However, if she is the killer, props to the one voter for seeing what the rest of us couldn't! Assuming that that one vote isn't just someone who saw that Rose didn't have any votes, and wanted to give her one to be unique...

Again, thank you for voting, and thank you even more for actually reading my opinions! I want to stress that although I think some culprits are more likely than others, I truly do respect everyone's opinions and interpretations of the work. There's a lot of information to go through, and everybody comes into it with their own biases and beliefs on what makes a good story (including the creator himself!)

What I find most fun is hearing what everyone thinks and remaining flexible such that we can explore every possibility. Therefore... please share your culprit thoughts. I am once again asking politely.

I was thinking about this the other day and realized that I really had no idea what the stats were for the fandom as a whole....

Please note that I'm asking about the blackened-- AKA who would be executed-- for this poll. In the case of "Levi was Eden's accomplice," "David manipulated Hu," etc, I want to know who you think is Going To Die.

[fusionkitty23]

so what'd you think of GDT Pinocchio? :D

Omg I LOVED it!!! It’s so so good!!! And heart wrenching?!! The animation is flawless!!! The character design is amazing!!! The story is so so incredible! (but holy crap they were not kidding when they said that fascism is in the movie)

⚠️spoilers to anyone who haven’t seen the movie⚠️

- I can’t get over on the bitter sweet ending it’s so AAAA and I cried!!!! The fact that Pinocchio’s motivation is different from all the other Pinocchio’s, that he wants his papa to see him as a son instead of a burden, and in the end he became mortal, not human, but mortal and I find that so clever Guillermo is a genius!!!

- And Holy shit I LOVE the anti-fascism in this movie, (but oh my god I’m still shocked that they added the salute, youth camp, and MOTHER FUCKING B*NITO M*SSOLINI?!!!) and that the one of the moral of the story is to tell fascism to literally eat shit and rot in hell, this puts a smile on my face!

- I also find it clever that they names Geppettos former son Carlo cuz that’s the name of the creator of the book: Carlo Collodi

- The build up on every character is also one of my favorite things about this movie! how Geppetto kept saying “your not my son!” And “why can’t you be more like Carlo?” To “don’t be like anyone else, be yourself, be Pinocchio.” Same with Sebastian Cricket, instead of wishing for fame and fortune, he wishes for Pinocchio to come back to life. And Candlewicks instead of continuing being a jerk, later became Pinocchio’s friend (god I really really hope he’s ok, I’m placing a headcanon that there is a rescue team that came to the island and saved all the children there and brought them home) the fact that we get to know Candlewicks story that his dad is forcing him to do what he wants and to act like a bitch instead of candlewick being a bitch just because. And Spazzatura hating Pinocchio because he became Count Volpes favorite but then realizing that Pinocchio cares about his coworker and later joins his family. And lastly Pinocchio’s glow up, from a curious grimlin to learning about the exemption of life and death.

There’s so much more I love about this movie, it’s incredible and beautiful and bittersweet, I can’t get over how we slowly watch as each character in Pinocchio’s family slowly pass away and watch Pino walk away from the graves, it really makes me cry just thinking about it. There’s other stuff I want to mention about the movie but idk if anyone wants to continue reading this already long post so ima just cut it here.

Either way I love this movie and it’s heart breaking sweetness. Guillermo Del toro is amazing!

[beels-burger-babe]

A Little Voice Told Me - Pt.2

Poly! MC Summary: Words hurt and leave their scars. MC learns this the hard way after hearing some not-so-nice whispers about them while on a date with Beel. How are they supposed to be the partner of the seven lords of the Devildom when they just don't measure up? Part 1: HERE, Part 3: HERE ***Good Golly!! Y'all really like the angst, huh? Here you guys go. Cry your hearts out and enjoy! - B*** Beelzebub woke up the rest of his brothers early the next morning. While most of them attempted to flip him off or threaten him at the initial disturbance, all it took was him saying that they needed to talk about you for them to shoot out of bed. In a matter of minutes, all of them, except Levi, were seated around the breakfast table. "If we're talking about MC, why aren't they here?" Satan asked while poking at a piece of fruit. "I don't know about you, but I personally don't feel right talking about them behind their back." Belphie scoffed and laid his head in his arms. "It's not like we're gossiping about them or anything. They were acting off last night, and Beel thought we should discuss what we're gonna do about it." Beel nodded, "They pulled into themself halfway through the night, and was upset but kept brushing me off whenever I tried to talk to them about it." Mammon huffed and crossed his arms. "Maybe they just didn't feel like they could talk to ya about it," he rose to his feet and began to walk towards the door. "I'm the first! I'm sure I can get it out of them, easy peasy! I'll just head in there and-" "Mammon, sit down!" Lucifer hissed. Mammon grumbled under his breath but did as told. Lucifer sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "We've talked about this. Stop bringing up the whole 'first man' thing. MC is in a relationship with all of us. Not just you." The second-born pouted and stabbed an egg with his fork.

Lucifer rolled his eyes at his brother's antics and looked back at Beel. "Something clearly happened during the date. Do you have any ideas at all at what it could've been?" Asmodeus stirred a swirly straw around in his drink. "I mean, I would be pretty upset if I spent three hours of my evening at a barbaric sporting event too," Asmo chuckled and smirked. "The only good thing about sports is that you get to see all those rippling muscles of the athletes in action." Beel scowled at his brother took a bite out of the omelet that was on his plate. "It wasn't because of the game. MC loves coming to my Fangol games and was having a blast with me until halftime. Something had to have happened while I was gone." Asmodeus opened his mouth to counter the statement when Leviathan came rushing into the room carrying his laptop. Lucifer raised an eyebrow at the sight, "What have I told you about devices at the table?" Leviathan shot him an annoyed look as he plopped down in one of the chairs. "This isn't about table etiquette. This is about MC," he looked over at Beel and Belphie. "I think I have an idea on what may have caused them to start distancing themselves." Everyone perked up in interest at the news; each one of them eager to know what was distressing their loved one so much that they felt like they couldn't talk to them. "Well are you going to tell us, or are you just going to sit there?" Satan quipped, his anger beginning to get the better of him as he sat on the edge of his seat. Levi gave him a flat look before he typed a few things on his keyboard. "I was doing a raid last night trying to keep my mind off of what might've happened with MC and decided to ask my party members about it," Leviathan's expression darkened as he began to explain. It was clear to everyone that whatever was said, wasn't taken lightly by the otaku. Rather than reading the conversation out loud, he turned his laptop screen for all his brothers to see. Leviachan: Gaaah! I just can't focus on the game tonight. My partner came back from a date tonight and has been acting kind of sus. There's definitely something bothering them, but they refuse to tell anyone. Ruri-Chans-Husbando: Dude, you're talking about that stupid human right? Why are you even with them? You shouldn't give a Normie like them the time of day. Waifu-Addict: Exactly! Listen, we've all been talking and you need to drop that whore. They're totally just using you and your brothers for your titles and power. The demons read in horror and rage as the chat room filled with messages from the members of Leviathan's party all saying similar garbage about you and degrading you in every way they could think of. Satan stood up and began to pace near the table as he used every inch of his self-control to keep himself from lashing out. "I want names, Levi. Who are they and why do they seem to think it's okay to talk about MC like- like that?!" Satan snarled as he curled his hands into fists. Levi tsked and crossed his arms, as Lucifer took the laptop to look more closely at the messages. "You say that as if I haven't already used my 'title and power' as Grand Admiral to have my men collect and imprison them. They're at the navy base waiting for us to get our hands on them as soon as we sort this whole mess out." Belphie growled, now sitting up and wide awake. "Get our hands on them is right. No one gets away with this shit," Asmodeus glared at the computer as though it had just dyed all of his clothing brown. "Rotten brats. They're all just jealous of stunning MC. Ugh, Diavolo, haters are the worst." Beel pushed his plate away from himself as he frowned deeply. "As disgusting and horrible as this is, what does it have to do with MC getting all quiet during our date?" A low rumble came from Lucifer as he handed the laptop back to Levi. A fiery hatred was burning brightly in his eyes as he gritted his teeth. "If a bunch of anti-social shut-ins are going around talking about our dearest MC like this, I believe Leviathan's point is that others probably are."

"Ouch. I wasn't going to say it l-like that, but yes," Levi winced and continued, "MC probably overheard people saying something about them. I mean, if people said that crap about me I'd probably hide in my room and not come out for months!" Mammon, who had been surprisingly quiet during all of this, had a very serious expression on his face. "Right, and we don't want MC to go through that. For Diavolo's sake, they've left alone to overthink this enough," Mammon stood up and headed towards the door again, Satan hot on his trail. "I'm going up to there to talk with them. Ya'll are welcome to come with, but you ain't stoppin' me." "Actually, Mammon, you're not. We should wait until MC comes to us," Lucifer interrupted. An animalistic snarl tore its way from Satan's throat as what little self-control he had snapped. Wrath incarnate lunged himself at Lucifer, grabbing his older brother by the collar of his cloak. "Are you serious, Lucifer?! You're seriously putting your stupid pride first, now?!? MC needs us!" Lucifer growled and pushed Satan off of him as he stood to size him up. "No. What they need is to not feel pressured to open up when they aren't ready! We can't make them feel like they can't come to us!" Mammon scoffed from where he stood in the back. "Oh, cause that's perfect logic! News flash, oh wise one, They ain't gonna come to us if they're thinkin' they're a burden! But you wouldn't know anything about that would you?!" Lucifer's eyes widen and he took a step back in shock at the statement. "What is that supposed to mean?" Mammon and Satan both opened their mouths to put Lucifer in his place when Beel all of sudden cleared his throat loudly. All three of the angry demons turned to snap at him but froze as they saw you standing in the room behind them. They instantly straightened themselves up gave you their full attention. The air seemed to lay still between you as everyone waited for the other to make the first move. As with almost every situation, it was Mammon who broke the silence. He took a step towards you. "MC, I was just coming to get you actually. There's somethin' we all wanna talk to you about." They could hear your breath catch in your throat as you took a step back. Panic filled your eyes the moment the words left his mouth. "O-Oh. I, um, I was actually just going to grab an apple and then head off to RAD for class. M-Maybe we can talk afterwards?" Satan frowned as you walked past him towards the fruit bowl. "MC, it's the weekend." You stopped mid-step. An uncomfortable tension filled the room as the obvious excuse was exposed. The brothers waited for you to move, to speak, to do something to give them any sort of sign for what you wanted them to do, but you just stood there, still like a statue except for the tremors in your hand. "Come on, Darling," Asmodeus spoke softly. His face clearly showed the hurt and concern that was coursing through him. "Everything's alright, I promise. We just need to talk about a few things." The brothers had thought of a number of ways you could've reacted to them confronting you. Lucifer thought that perhaps you would snap at them and distance yourself further. Mammon, Levi, and Asmo expected a few small tears followed by a cuddle session. Satan imagined a slightly more dramatic telling, like something from one of his novels, that ended him being your hero and massacring all those who dared speak ill about you. Beel thought perhaps you could talk over a bunch of comfort foods that allowed you to remain calm and feel safe. Belphie had hoped that perhaps you hadn't believed what you overheard, and the two of you could laugh at how idiotic even the idea of them not loving you was. But you, breaking down into tears, sobbing the words "I'm sorry" over and over again? None of them had expected, nor were prepared, for that. ***Apparently this is now going to be a three-part series. This part was interesting to write. I fully believe that if the brothers were in a poly relationship with the MC they would definitely bicker and argue about

who knows MC best and who had the better date whenever MC isn't around. Honestly, they probably have a score chart 😅 I hope you guys liked part 2! Keep an eye out for part 3, where MC finally opens up to the boys and we have some hurt/comfort times \uwu/ ***

[inupibaldspot]

Our Snowfall

Pairing: Baji x Reader

Request: OPEN

Note: I cried writing this I’m in so much pain rn 😭

Baji slowly opened the door,revealing room of white color, with faint sent of medicines and anti-septic's.

Earlier he was playing catch with Mikey outside, but Mikey wanting to show off threw the ball too hard making the ball zoom across the sky as it breaks the window to a hospital room.

Baji was about to shout at Mikey only to find the blonde boy had disappeared without a trace. And now Baji was on a mission to get his ball back.

“I’m sorry for breaking your window.” Baji bows his head from the door.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Baji blinked in confusion. The voice was that of a young child and not an adult like he was expecting. He raises his head to see a small figure ,who looked really weak.

The person smiled. “The ball is on the table there. It would be best if you left before nurse comes back.”

Baji nods as he walks in and takes the ball. He notices that the broken glasses pieces were already picked up and clean.

Baji turns to look at you. “My name is Baji Keisuke. What is yours?”

Your lips curl into a weak smile. “My name is Y/N…”

Baji walks towards you. “Are you sick,Y/N?” His expression was somewhat worried.

You nod. “I’ve been here forever.” You laugh. “Mama told me I can’t go outside because I get sick easily so I stay at the hospital so Mr. Doctor can help me…”

Baji frowned. He was always an active kid who spend most of his time playing around so when he heard that you don’t get to go outside,it made him sad. “Is it okay if I visit you sometime.”

Your eyes widens as color appears on your cheeks,you then smiled brightly. “I would love that!”

True to his words,Baji immediately visited you the next day.

Ever since Baji entered your life,your life has been full of colors. Baji would always talk about how he spend his day,he would talk about his friends and all the crazy thing they would do.

He would always visit you,never making you feel lonely. Along the way he even introduced some of his friends. First he brought Mikey along and then the next Mitsuya and Pachin.

You were scared at first when Baji said they were in gangs but when you got to know them,they were just dorks,lovable and funny dorks.

“I heard this time we are going to have a white Christmas.” You said as you looked outside.

Baji who was cutting apples for you, stopped as he looks at you. “Are you going to be with your parents?”

You shook your head. “Both my mom and dad are going to be busy with work so they said we can’t celebrate it with me this time.”

You smiled as you turned to look at Baji. “But the nurses said they’re going to set up a Christmas tree so I’m excited!”

Baji looks at how your eyes brightened when you talked about the Christmas tree. You looked so happy talking about and that made you seem so much beautiful.

“I’m sure it would look so pretty-“ Your words came to a halt when you started coughing. The coughing never seemed to die down making Baji rush to your side and when it finally did,there were blood in your hands. He looked at you in horror but you didn’t seem to panic,rather you looked as if you were think ‘Not this again.’ As if this happened regularly.

“I’ll get the doctor real quick!” With that he rushes away.

…….

To your dismay the Christmas tree was smaller than expected but nevertheless you enjoyed the cake your parents ordered for you,you ended up eating them with the grandma next door.

Maybe it was because you weren’t with Baji today,the day felt bit gloomier even-though it was such a joyous day. You missed Baji. 

Just when you were about to sleep,tiny knocks were heard at your door. “Psttt, Y/N.”

You look at the door confused. “Baji what are you doing here?”

Before you knew it,Baji makes you wear a thick jacket and cover your neck with a muffler not answering your question.The wide grin on his face perked your curiosity more.

He then kneels in front of you,his back facing you. “Get on!”

“Huh?”

Baji turns to you and he gives you a grin. “I’m going to show you a huge Christmas tree.”

Baji and you then sneak out of the hospital as he carries you to the main town. You gleam at how beautifully the place was decorated. The air outside was cold but it was so fresh, so much frsh as compared to the air in your hospital room.

“It started snowing!” You shouted excited as you raised one of you hand to try and hold it,only for it to melt as soon as it touches you. “The report was right! We’re having a white Christmas!” It was your first time actually being outside when it was snowing, normally you'd only watch the snow from inside.

Places were beautifully lit, decorated with lights filled with joyful atmosphere. Some with their family others on dates. As people start to stare at the sky taking in the entrance of the snow.

“We’re here!” Baji stops walking as he nudges his head at a particular direction.

There at a distance was a huge Christmas tree, decorated with fairy lights, colorful bulbs and small other decorations. “Wow…”

“Beautiful isn’t it-“ Baji stopped speaking as he looked at your expression. Your eyes gleamed as it shone,from all the lights, you nose and cheeks slightly flushed from cold but the most beautiful part was your smile.

You burrowed you face against Baji’s neck,making him feel ticklish but he didn’t mind it rather he love it. “Thank you Keisuke …” He could feel your breath against his neck.

“I’m so glad I could spend the Christmas with you…”

……

“I hate school!” Baji shouts as he messes his hair in frustration. “I don’t know why I have to study this bull shit!” Baji was currently in you room as he worked on his homework while you were reading a book. A pleasant way you guys would spend your time together. It has almost been two years since you guys met.

You laugh at Baji’s expression as you set down the book you were reading. “Come on now~ Don’t say that..I think school must be fun.”

Baji stops as he realizes what he did. You were someone who could never join school after multiple incidents of you passing out or getting rushed to hospitals when you were a kid.

You couldn’t experience school like he did. Baji huffs as he goes back to his books. “Fine… I’ll aim for twenty marks this time.”

“Twenty? That’s not even the pass mark.” You laugh at him. “How about you go for thirty at least.”

“Thats not the pass mark either, Y/N!“

You were about to say something when a sudden thought came into mind. “Keisuke … I actually was watching tv yesterday and I saw someone making a pumpkin themed cake…”

“So I thought I’d want to eat that but I don’t think I can complete it by myself. So how about you join me…?” Your cheeks flushed red.

You were basically asking him out on a date.Sure you guys spend time together alone but you never once made an offer like this to him. It has been months since you figured out you had feelings so Baji but you never really acted on it.

Since the thought of you getting rejected and in turn losing a beloved friend scared you to no end.

“Sure!” You turned your head quickly at his reply. Baji was smiling as well as he continued. “When would it be?”

You smile as you brought your hands together, excited. “I was thinking of October 31..”

“Ah… I don’t think I can join you then…” Baji replied regretfully. “How about November 1?”

“Sure!” As long as you could spend time with Baji, you were happy.

But then that day never came.

That day you waited for Baji to enter the room,with an untouched cake box on the table. The door opens to reveal Mikey,Draken and Mitsuya.

“Baji…Baji died during our fight against Valhalla …”

Would it be funny if you said you ate the cake while you cried? Probably,but that’s what you actually did. Stuffing you mouth with the soft creamy treat as tears pool you eyes.

Days after were as if a curtain closed closed your window, everything felt so much dim and it didn’t help that your condition seemed to worsen.

You were losing weight at an alarming rate,coughing up more blood at frequent rates. You grew increasingly weaker as you parents even took time off their jobs to nurse you.

But at certain nights you would wake up in tears,as you could barely breathe as you searched for Baji,hoping to see him with you in the room. “Keisuke…”

It was a peaceful winter evening ,the air was cold and places were quiet as white snow gently falls in the ground.

People outside were looking and hoping that the snow would set properly. Kids were already outside as they excitedly play out, parents in their homes were making food to warm themselves up.

“Stay with me Y/N!”

People were rushing all over the room as you dad hold your crying mom.

You head felt as if it was going to burst,a strong sense of nausea filled you. Everything you hear and see seemed so muffled and blur.

Despite you body feeling limp, it was twitching. You breathing which was rapid at first seemed to now slow down,accompanied with a strong aching pain.

Then suddenly all those suffering at once disappear.

You entered into a white place,as if each and every part was covered in snow.Your body felt light with no presence of pain that you were feeling just a second before.

 You walked around too see that in a distance was a very familiar person.A person who made you life so much brighter. A person who you enjoyed every moment spend with him. A person you loved.

That person turns around as he expression turns into a frown.

“Why did you join me so early?”

You smile as a tear rolls down your face. “I guess I missed you too much,Keisuke.”

[randomshyperson]

Wanda Maximoff x Reader - Dating is still only about love

Summary: Based on the prompt received in AO3 "Reader is a lot like Bucky. Bucky saves Reader, and recruits him to the Avengers team. Reader and Wanda begin to develop a relationship, but it is shy and awkward because Reader is from 1940."  ///////////// Read on AO3 too

Words:  3.914k (one) //  

Warnings: 13+ Fluff and a bit of language, mentions of torture.

Notes: I think this turned out to be more about the 1940 reader in love than anything else, but I hope you enjoy it.

Part II (Special Smut request)

////////////

You are dancing to Glenn Miller in a bar in Brooklyn. Your parents would kill you if they saw you now, spinning in the arms of a stranger. But you laugh, and move your body to the music. 

And then you see Bucky and Steve, entering the place, and you let go of your partner and run to hug them.

- Hi, boys! - You greet them with a smile that they respond to.

- Someone is cheerful. - Bucky jokes looking at your slightly alcoholic state. 

You fake a serious expression. 

- Are you implying that your superior is drunk, Sergeant Barnes?

Bucky laughs at your imitation of an authoritative voice, and you turn to Steve, who looks mildly annoyed. 

- Hey, Rogers. Why the long face? - you ask, and he shrugs. You can tell by Bucky's expression. He had been rejected from the army again, and you let out a sigh and decide to cheer him up. - Come on, Steve! Let's dance!

You pull him by the hand before he can refuse. And eventually, he laughs. Bucky joins you next, and the three of you spin around the room, your steps out of sync as you laugh.

/-/

You try to move but there is something holding you to the surface where you are lying. And then you try to scream for help, but there is something in your mouth that prevents you from doing so. 

You widen your eyes with surprise when a man dressed in white appears in your field of vision, and he fits something cold to your head.

You grumble against the tightness in your mouth, but he just gives you a mocking smile.

- Vital signs? - He speaks in German. You close your eyes tightly when a light goes on in front of you.

- Stable. - Says a second voice in the room that you don't know where it comes from.

- Good. You can apply now.

And then you feel your veins burn, and you scream, but your scream is muffled by the object in your mouth. The pain chokes you until you can't see anything anymore.

/-/

Someone is pulling you. You blink to regain consciousness, but it takes a long time. You are tired, but there is a feeling that is in your body that you don't know.

- Hey, Y/N. - You hear someone calling, and then you take a breath trying to remember. - Can you hear me? Can you walk?

- Bucky... - You grumble and accept the arm he offers you to get up. - Where the...?

- We don't have time, we need to get out of here.

And then you are running out of the compound where you were being held prisoner. Bucky is wearing the same clothes as you. And then you see Steve, but he looks nothing like the Steve you knew. This Steve is tall, and muscular, but still has the same gentle look as your friend. But you don't have time to ask.

-/-/ 

You haven't rested for a long time. But that's okay, you want to help your country win the war. You want to help Steve, and you believe in him. And so you and Bucky jump on a train for him.

- Watch out! - You warn your friends, and they just shrug as they smile.

And things go well for about five minutes, and then one of the Hydra soldiers has a gun pointed at Bucky, and the next second you are jumping on the man. 

When Bucky goes to help you, a second man appears. A grenade explodes ripping out half the compartment and you hear a whistle in your ear. You manage to knock out the man who pinned you down, but then someone kicks you in the back out of the train. You grab the metal bar, and when Bucky is thrown out, you hold him fast. 

You see Steve run up to you two, his hand outstretched in the air to reach you. And then the iron breaks and you both fall.

-/-/

You wake up in a jolt, in a cold sweat. And there are chains on your wrists. You let out an angry grunt.

No one tells you who these men who test you are. And every time you scream or try to free yourself, they inject something that makes you lethargic, and vulnerable. And then they electrocute your mind, and you forget any flash of memory that might appear.

As long as you don't remember who you are, you accept every command they give you.

-/-/

You use a pillar of the building next to you to protect yourself from gunfire. You are starting to get annoyed. 

Your mission is to eliminate the Winter Soldier, or divergent soldier, as your leader has begun to call him.

But he is being particularly difficult to eliminate, especially since there is a man with a shield and a woman with a machine gun protecting him. 

And then you use bombs, and disarm them. The men who came with you keep them busy while you run towards your target, and throw him to the ground with a blow to his ribs.

You arm your knife, but he gets up quickly, fending off every attack as skillfully as you do.

And then he hits you in the face, and your mask falls off. You have a gun pointed at his face next, but the completely shocked look on his face makes you hesitate.

- Y/N? 

- I don't... - You find yourself talking, but then there is a second explosion that distracts you, and then the man disarms you.

You strike back, knocking him to the ground. But you run away, and on your way back to the Hydra establishments, you say that you have lost sight of him.

-/-/

You are being punished. Again. You've been failing a lot in your tests, and you've been unstable for weeks. You don't want to obey any of those people, you want to go back to the man on the road who knew you and ask him about your life.

And then there are shocks in your head, but you don't forget. And then they throw you into a cell, saying that the madness from hunger will take away any memory from you.

But then there are loud noises that you think are coming from bombs. And then the man in the road is in front of your cell, and he rips the door off with a metal arm, and reaches out to help you up.

-/-/

It takes time to get your memories back. But it happens. And you cry a lot when you remember everything.

You remember your hometown, your parents, your pet dog. You remember jogging down the street from your house, and playing ball with the kids. You remember punching a boy in the face because he pushed Steve Rogers off a swing. You remember delivering a frog you found on the sidewalk into Bucky Barnes' hand. You remember finding Bucky and Steve kissing in the alley behind your house and remember promising to keep it a secret when they cry. 

You remember entering the US Army before Bucky. You remember the training, and the battles, and most of all the war. And then you feel your heart fill with warmth and longing when you remember the dances. So many parties where you went jazz dancing, most of them with Bucky and Steve.

You lose your breath when you remember Hydra. When you remember the experiments, and the murders. But Bucky holds your hand, and assures you that you are the same girl who danced with your two best friends at the prom even when the most handsome young man in high school asked for a dance, and assures you that you are not what Hydra wanted you to become. You repeat the same words to him, and you hold each other for a while.

-/-/

Bucky wants you to join the Avengers. He has been a member for a few months, and then he rescued you, and he doesn't want you to just hang around like him. He wants to help you, and he wants you to have a home.

When you nod in agreement, he hugs you.

-/-/

- Here is your room. - Said Bucky as he led you down a long hallway in the Avengers compound. He held your bag, even though you said there was no need for it.

You entered the space, and you let out an impressed hiss. It was definitely better than the motels and well, any place you had actually been sleeping in all these years.

- When you're ready, come meet the rest of the team. - He said as he left his suitcase on the bed. He flashes you a smile before leaving.

You look around, still impressed. It would be strange to call this place a home, but you were willing to give it a try. Besides this, your best friends were here. There was nothing to be scared of.

-/-/

You were wrong. 

Everything was perfectly under control, you smiled and waved politely to all the Avengers, and even laughed at Tony Stark's jokes. And then you met Wanda Maximoff, leaving training and arriving late for your introduction to the team and looking absolutely stunning.

- Hi, sorry I'm late everybody. - She said as she entered the room. And then her gaze fell on you, and she gave an embarrassed smile as she held out her hand. - I'm Wanda, I think we're going to be door-mates.

Unable to form a coherent sentence, you just smiled awkwardly, shaking Wanda's hand, and hoping that she didn't think you were a complete idiot. 

And then Bucky and Steve finished introducing you to the team, and everyone went back to their activities.

You let your gaze linger on Wanda, before quickly turning away, blushing. It was amazing how unlucky you were. You had barely arrived, and already you had a crush.

-/-/

Things are going well, you think. You got along with everyone on the team, you did well in practice, and you had a secret crush on Wanda. Maybe the last part wasn't so good, but you are optimistic.

You eventually realized that Wanda was quite anti-social, and didn't talk much with the other team members.

That might have made things difficult, because if she had a close friend, you could ask this friend to speak well of you.

You grumbled to yourself as you cooked your dinner. You were used to preparing your meals, and almost always the other avengers joined you. When the food started to smell, they appeared. 

- Great! Y/N food. - Tony said as soon as he entered the room, and you giggled. You were stirring the sauce when Wanda came into the kitchen. She smiled at you as she walked towards you and you tried to hide your nervousness.

- Wow, this looks tasty. - She said, looking at the contents of the pot. You smiled, handing her the spoon in your hand. She then tasted some of the sauce, and let out a satisfied groan. You tried not to stare so hard at her lips. - This is delicious.

You just nodded with flushed cheeks, and Wanda gave you a curious look before turning toward the table.

You decided that you had better do something soon or she would think you were completely crazy. 

And then that night, after dinner, you called Bucky up to your room.

- You have to help me with something! - you told him as you walked in. You slumped in your chair, tapping your feet on the floor in nervousness, and he sat down across from you.

- What was it? Did something happen? - he asked worriedly.

- I need to ask a girl out!

You look surprised. And then you laugh.

- I thought it was something bad. - He grumbles, leaning back in his chair.

- It's not bad, it's terrible! - You replied, running your hands through your hair. - I have no idea how to ask a girl out! In fact, I never knew how to ask anyone out. The boys did it in '36s.

Bucky laughs at your desperation, and you bury your face in your hands.

- Hey, calm down. - He says, straightening his posture and looking at you tenderly. - I swear dating is still as hard as it was in the 40s. 

- Was that supposed to make me feel better? - You grumble as you take your face out of his hands and look at him. Bucky laughs.

- I was going to say that, regardless of the era, dating is still about liking someone. - He replies. - It's scary, but you can do it. Why don't you try inviting her over as a friend?

You stand thoughtfully for a moment.

- I don't understand. - You say. - How does the date work between friends?

Bucky laughed again.

- It's not a date, Y/N. - he says. - It's just a hangout among friends.

You frown.

- But I like her. 

- Wow, you're difficult. - Bucky scoffs lightly. - People in this century go on unromantic walks together all the time.

- That sounds like a lie. - You retort with a smile, Bucky laughs. - And how will she know that I like her?

- You tell her. 

You let out a nervous laugh.

- Worst possible idea. - You grumble as you throw your back into your chair. - Besides, I haven't seen you date anyone since '35. I think I'll ask someone else for advice. - You mock lightly, and Bucky rolls his eyes humorously.

- I've been busy. - he says. - By the way, have you ever seen what they call dating apps? It's creepy.

You laugh and nod, and Bucky moves to reach for his cell phone. He spends the rest of the day showing you how dating works in this century, and you laugh a lot.

-/-/

You made too much hot chocolate. Maybe it was on purpose.

What is relevant is that you are walking toward Wanda's room, carrying a mug for her. 

Bucky was in the kitchen with you, and when he got some of the drink, he said that the opportunity for you to make conversation with Wanda was right in front of you.

So here you were, trying not to look so anxious as you knocked on the door.

When Wanda opened the door, she was wearing a sweatshirt and looked comfortable and very pretty. You thought you were staring, so you hurried to say:

- H-hi. I brought you some chocolate. - You say and Wanda looks surprised, but smiles.

- That's very sweet, thank you. - She says to you as she accepts the drink. You feel your cheeks heat up as your hands rub together for a brief moment.

And then a noise you knew well can be heard, and you let out a surprised exclamation.

- Wow, you like Sweet American Family? - you asked excitedly when you noticed the old sitcom you used to watch playing on the in-room television. 

Wanda raised her eyebrow slightly in surprise, and then gave you space to enter the room, and your body just followed the cue automatically, too excited about the show, without really thinking that you were walking into Wanda's room.

- Do you know it? - She replies with surprise and you laugh as you approach the television.

- Of course I do! - you reply excitedly. - I used to watch it with my parents.

Wanda takes a sip of her drink while you stare at the television.

- Watch it with me, then.

It takes a second for you to register the invitation, and your heart races, but you nod with a smile, and watch Wanda sit on her own bed, and pat the duvet for you to join her. Trying not to look like a complete mess, you follow her.

You watch in silence for a few minutes, and a joke later you are used to Wanda's presence.

- So how accurate is this show? - She asks with a smile, leaving her mug on the small table. You sigh thoughtfully.

- Well, we didn't used to eat in our rooms. - You comment, watching the scene on television, and Wanda nods looking interested. - But they got the bad food right, and the tight clothes and weird social rules.

Wanda giggles and goes back to watching. And then the episode switches to a romantic scene, two teenagers talking at school.

- Wow, that was scary. - You comment watching the boy try to invite the girl for a walk.

Wanda looks at you curiously, wanting to know more. You smile.

- The kids used to wait for us in between classes. - You tell her. - And they were very obvious about it. Usually the whole school knew that you were going on a date with someone. 

- Have you been on many dates?

You giggle.

- I didn't like the boys at my high school very much. - You confess. - But I liked to dance. And so they called me to dances, and I said yes. And then I was enlisted, and I started hanging out with the soldiers. It was fun.

- Sounds like great. - She comments with a smile. - In a way, it seems like it was easier.

You let out a surprised exclamation, laughing lightly.

- Wanda, no way! - You respond with humor. - It was horrible! Scary! And all the dates were ultra official, and people expected you to be engaged! Bucky told me that nowadays people go out as friends? That is impressive.

Wanda laughs, and leans on the bed crossing her legs and turning completely toward you.

- But people aren't as romantic as they used to be! - she smiles back. You imitate her position, while you ignore the TV show to talk. - No one seems anxious or shy about going out anymore. There are no flowers, or requests to hold your hand. People just text you to get laid.

You feel your cheeks heat up a little, but laugh at the comment. And then you have an idea.

- I would like to invite you to something. - You say, surprising Wanda suddenly. You swallow your nervousness. - A proper evening out, like the one you saw on TV.

-W-what?

- A date, Wanda. - You clarify with a blush. - But it's okay if you don't want to...

- I do. - She interrupts with a shy smile. - I'd love to go for on a date with you.

You smile, looking away. And the credits music for the episode begins to rise.

- When do you want to go? - you ask her, twiddling your fingers nervously.

- As soon as possible, I'm excited. - She says with a smile, and you let out a giggle. Then you get out of bed.

- Okay, then, Miss Maximoff. - you say with a smile. - I need time to organize this, so I'll pick you up here in your room tomorrow at seven?

- Sounds great. - Wanda agrees with a smile. 

You nod slightly before leaving the room. When you are walking down the hallway, you can't stop smiling.

-/-/

Wanda was wearing a simple, blue dress in the same 40s style when you picked her up. You choked in surprise, thinking she looked absolutely stunning. And she blushed and thanked you when you told her so.

Tony lent you one of his classic cars, and you drove to the sounds of old jazz toward the carnival that was set up in town that week. You didn't notice Wanda looking at you as you hummed the song.

The park was very busy, and they had many entertainment options, but you made sure to ask what Wanda wanted to do.

You competed in the bumper cars and laughed every time your cars hit each other. Wanda threw her head back laughing, and everything seemed to go in slow motion with the image.

And then you went on several other attractions, and then she pointed to the Ferris wheel. 

You both let out excited sighs as the cabin began to rise.

- Wow, this is amazing! - She commented excitedly, you agreed as you looked down, seeing the ground getting farther and farther away.

- The Ferris wheels were smaller. - You say, and Wanda lets out a giggle.

- Are you going to tell me you are afraid of heights now?

You laugh lightly and look at Wanda.

- If I had, and I had accepted your invitation, would I look braver? - You retort sheepishly. Wanda bites her lip thoughtfully, but still smiles.

- Why does it matter, are you trying to impress me?

You look away in surprise, and feel your cheeks heat up. Well, Bucky had told you to be honest after all.

- Only if it's working. - You retort with a slight insecurity in your voice. Wanda smiles though.

- Oh, believe me. It's working very well. - She answers finally, and then you two are on the top.

You try not to blush so much at Wanda's affirmation, and you bite back the smile on your lips. And then she asks you about the dances of your day, and you almost forget to be nervous.

And then you walked side by side off the Ferris wheel, and you took her to see the shooting games, and when you hit all the targets, she whispered that being a trained sniper should be considered cheating. You won many tickets, and you carried the big teddy bear you won for Wanda.

You take her to eat cotton candy, and you laugh as you share the flavors. And then you think you have seen all the toys and are walking back to the car, smiling.

Wanda keeps the teddy inside the back seat, but doesn't get into the vehicle. From your position, the distant light of the Ferris wheel partially illuminates the parking lot, and Wanda's green orbs catch your eye.

- Did you enjoy the evening, Wanda? - you ask her as you approach. She is leaning on the car door, and smiles at you tenderly.

- I loved it. - She confesses. - I didn't want to leave.

You chuckle shyly, looking down at your shoes.

- We can do it again. - You say. - I could take you dancing.

Wanda lets out an excited exclamation.

- Please, I'd love to. - She says, smiling. You think your heart will explode with happiness.

You are silent for a moment, and then Wanda straightens her posture, slightly shy.

- I think we missed something on our walk.

- What? - You look at her anxiously, but Wanda smiles tenderly.

- You didn't ask to hold my hand.

You let out a shy little laugh, coming closer. You stop a step away from Wanda, and hold out your hands. Wanda smiles, and raises her hands to yours. You let your hands fall together at the front of your bodies, waving them lightly as you kept they together.

- How did these walks used to end? - Wanda asks softly, you think that the closeness is preventing you from thinking correctly.

- I would lead you to your front door. - You say. - And you would decide if I deserve a kiss on the cheek.

Wanda smiles, blushing. She looks away quickly, and sighs lightly. You were going to ask if everything was okay, but her sentence makes your mind shut down.

- I want to kiss you now. - she confesses. And then she brings your faces together until your foreheads rest against each other. - Is that okay?

- Yes.

And then the distance is broken. Wanda kisses you on the mouth gently, and you sigh at the sensation. You think that maybe you shouldn't kiss like that on a first date, but your tongue asks for passage and Wanda accepts. And then you have her pressed against the car.

It feels good, and it makes your heart race, and it's the best you've felt since 1940.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Time Apart

CW: Trauma survivor, referenced noncon and assault, heavy internalized victim-blaming and self-loathing/anti-asexuality (Chris has serious issues from his conditioning around this)

(references events from this small series)

I think you should spend time apart, not with me.

When Chris picks up his phone, it's not at all the message from Laken he expected to see. Not the kind of thing they've ever sent before.

He has to read it two times, then three. The letters swim and shake along with a dull pounding inside his head, but no matter how he tries to make them into other words - tell himself he must have misunderstood, must be missing something - they come back together the same in the end.

I think you should spend time apart, not with me.

Each letter is as crisp and clean as a sterilized blade between each rib, one by one by one by one.

The words are a body blow. They're a hundred blows, beating him into a barely recognizable shattered shell of himself. It wasn't supposed to happen this way - it's been a bad few days, yeah, a bad week really, but until yesterday's fight it had never occurred to him that Laken might give up on him.

The fight was his fault, anyway.

He meant to apologize last night, but then Nova had come into his room, and he'd lost the rest of the night to lying next to Jake, trying to remember how to stop living inside his head again, how to stop being still.

He'd woke up this morning with his stomach doing butterfly flips inside him, nervous, but he'd really wanted to say he was sorry, for the fight, for all the weirdness lately. He'd wanted to apologize for being difficult.

Instead... he'd woken up to find a missed text from the night before, sent after he'd shoved Nova away but before he could stand to look at anything again.

I think you should spend time apart, not with me.

There it sits.

He hasn't unlocked his phone yet. Instead, he keeps tapping the button to light up the screen, looking at the message preview that has all he needs to see. Lets it go dark again. As if one of these times he'll click and it'll say something else.

But it doesn't,

It just says the same damn thing.

I think you should spend time apart.

Not with me.

He's still staring at it when another one comes in. He feels the soft pulse of his phone in his hand, and the screen lights on its own.

LAKEN - NOW Did you see my message? 

He thinks maybe Kauri had it easier when he was the age Chris is now. Back when Kauri carried on entire conversations in emoji form, letting the nuance and ambiguity take over, the recipient working through the meaning on their own. With this, each letter is merciless, each word is unmistakable. He can’t misunderstand it. 

Can he?

He opens the phone with shaking fingers, types back yes, presses send, and turns his phone off.

Then he throws it at the wall.

He’s grateful for the heavy plastic case that makes it bounce off and drop to the floor without breaking. There's a strip on the back, textured and a soft purple, gray, white, and black. He rubs his fingers over it sometimes in class to keep himself from rocking and being distracting.

Now he just... stares at it.

Laken bought that for him. They bought the shirt he's wearing right now-

He yanks it off his head before he can think, balls up the soft fabric and throws it as well. It just sort of drifts pointlessly to the floor, a single eyeball from the print of a band he likes staring back at him.

Laken has ranted before about people who break up by text message, and Chris has to breathe through a physical ache in his chest that tightens every muscle at how awful he must be that they're not doing this face to face. How awful, how used-up, how shredded apart, how fucking pretty he is.

After all, he and Laken have been together for more than a year, and he still held perfectly still for Nova to touch him before he remembered how to move. After all, he’s a grown man who still cried and fell apart when Jake was hurt. After all, after all, after all...

He scrambles across the floor for his phone again, turns it back on. Part of him hopes he’ll see a new text saying they take it back, they didn’t mean it. Or just asking him to apologize for what he’d said that night before, for how he’d thrown their confusion over his reaction to something back at them, echoing out the way Kauri fights sometimes, talking about himself the way he thinks everyone else might be thinking about him, so he says the insult first and no one else gets to surprise him with it.

But there’s nothing new.

He manages to open the texts again, barely, and breathes in gasps, nearly pants, as he types out, you don’t want me at your place?

Not right now.

Is it because of what I can’t do?

It takes them a minute to answer. Every single second ticks by with a slowness Chris hasn’t felt since his days in the cold white room, tied down to stillness, forced to endure every minute that passed in perfect silence or to the soundtrack of his own tears and pleading for it to stop.

When they do respond, it’s just, it’s because of what you won’t do.

His breath catches in his throat. The ache in his head starts to pound harder, and he has to close his eyes against a sharp stab behind them. 

What he won’t do.

They’ve never cared before. How-... how could they suddenly care now? The fight had only a little bit been about that, it’d really been about something else. About his nightmares, how he’s not sleeping, not seeing his friends, skipping therapy. It hadn’t even been about... that. About what Chris can do and what he can’t, in bed. 

But that was the thing - the fight had started when Chris had flinched back from Laken’s touch to his back, and snapped at them, and accused them of wanting too much, and...

And now this.

It’s like they knew about Nova. Knew that he could be good just fine - better than fine, Handler Petrus said he was one of the best he’d ever worked with once - he just... wouldn’t. Won’t. Doesn’t want to. Never wanted to. 

Can’t do it without tearing himself to pieces all over again. 

It was always a scream inside his mind, but should he have pushed it down and tried harder to be more like everyone else? Is he losing Laken because of it? Did Nova pick up on something Chris himself doesn’t know?

Should he have... tried?

Even if it hurt?

He drops the phone again, then kicks it viciously under his bed, listening to the scrape of it sliding across the floor, the thump as it hits the wall. He hears it vibrate again, but this time he doesn’t care what Laken has to say.

They’ve said enough.

He understands.

Part of him expected this eventually.

He leaves the room, doesn’t bother to pull on his compression shirt, even. He lets his skin prickle bare and exposed to the air. He accepts the discomfort, the uneasy feeling of being too seen, too felt. 

The house is quiet, this early. 

He makes himself toast with butter, wincing at the scrape of the knife against the crisp bread, the sound boring into his ears. But eventually it’s done, and he slumps into a chair at the kitchen table, willing himself to cry. Somehow, the tears just... don’t happen.

He can hear Jake snoring softly from the living room. He’d been up with Chris until nearly 4 am, then Chris was awake again at 6:30, looking at that text, looking over and over and over again. Two hours of sleep leave him weirdly euphoric alongside his despair. Like he’s floating in some nightmare place that isn’t awake and isn’t sleeping, either.

He’s probably slept nine hours in three days at this point. He keeps seeing Jake with a knife sticking out of him every time he closes his eyes. Jake, screaming as Antoni pushed cloth into his wound to stop up the bleeding. Jake with a bullet wound, sitting up against the wall, staring at him with wide eyes whispering, It’s okay, Tristan, I love you, it’s okay as he dies. 

He can’t sleep. He can’t leave for long. He can’t breathe. He can’t think.

Him being what he is, it’s the reason Jake is hurt. If he hadn’t been his brother, he wouldn’t have decided to run a house for Romantics, and he wouldn’t have ended up dealing with all the dangerous bits about them.

Jake said it himself, didn’t he? It’s a mistake, running a house for Romantics. Not his best idea. A mistake.

Chris is a mistake.

Him being weak, and cowardly... it’s hurting Jake, making his life harder.

He makes everyone’s life harder.

There’s a soft sound of footsteps behind him, and he turns to find Nova in the doorway, staring back. She’s in a sleeveless gray dress and has her long dark hair pulled back from her temples, spilling in a waterfall down her back. Her eyes are dark and fathomless, and she gives him a faint, slight smile.

She had smiled like that with one hand down his pants.

Chris turns around, too fast, his head spinning a little, and hunches over his toast. “Good... good, um, good morning,” He mumbles. 

She clears her throat. “Morning. Chris, about-... about last night...”

“Don’t, um, don’t-... don’t don’t don’t worry about it.” He takes a breath. He doesn’t want his toast any longer. 

“I’m sorry,” She says, simply. “I spoke to Sarita about it, and... and she said this happens with us, and I should apologize, but, um. So I am. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have-... I thought I was helping.”

“I... know you did.” His words are slowing down. Chris can’t hold on to his thoughts, they want to drift away somewhere else, somewhere safer. Somewhere darker. 

“When I was with-... with my Miss, she would always say, if you are sad the best way to fix it is to make your body forget that feeling, replace it with something else. And that was what we replaced my sadness with. So, you were sad and upset, and I thought I could fix it that way.” She pauses, flushing a little, looking down and to the side as she moves with effortless grace to get a glass and fill it with water, take a small sip. 

“Kauri used to... to do that,” Chris says after a pause, thinking about it. Kauri, who would show up in the small hours of the morning reeking of liquor and someone else’s cologne, or just didn’t show up at all. Kauri, who would laugh instead of crying, and laugh with someone’s arms around him, a guy whose name he didn’t know. 

Kauri, who ran and ran and ran and can do things and be things that Chris can’t.

Or... won’t.

What if he’s been hurting Laken this whole time and didn’t know it, because he was already hurt himself?

His foot starts to tap tap tap on the floor until he stops it. 

“Did he? Did it-... work for him?” Nova asks it with genuine curiosity, and her eyes are so pretty. He looks up at her, and then down again, pushing the plate of toast away from himself. 

“I don’t know,” Chris whispers. “I, I don’t know. He’s happy now, but...”

“Was he happy then?”

“No. But, but, but... maybe we aren’t supposed to be. At least... not with, with anyone... who isn’t like us.”

“Jake isn’t like us,” Nova points out. Her presence in the room feels heavy, like a weight pushing down on him. But what does it matter? He’s not with Laken anymore, anyway. If he wanted to, he could stand right up and kiss Nova right now, press her back into the counter, and learn what it’s like to be the one doing things and not just having them done to him.

But his body doesn’t stir at the thought. It never has.

“He is,” Chris answers. “A, a little bit. I’m, I’m, I’m sorry, too, Nova. Sorry that I-I can’t.”

“No, I know. You have a partner, and I shouldn’t have-”

“I don’t have... I, I, I I don’t have a partner anymore.” Chris stands up, leaving her there with his plate of untouched toast. The sky outside is bright as the sun rises, as if mocking the way he feels like a stormcloud inside. 

Nova watches him leave, and whispers to herself, “No partner?”

Chris goes outside, pulling a sweatshirt that hangs on the coatrack on over his head to protect his skin, curling up on the porch swing and watching cars pulling out of driveways as the neighborhood starts to head to work in ones and twos. 

He doesn’t cry.

He sits very, very still, and he is silent. 

Upstairs, under the bed, his phone vibrates, again and again, unnoticed.

Just go talk to Nat, Chris. That’s all I said. Just go see Nat and get a night or three away from the house. Being there all the time is overwhelming you. Are you even looking at these? Chris you can’t just ignore me every time I say something you don’t like Chris answer me ... ... Oh shit, Chris, my phone autocorrected earlier and I didn’t notice I meant “some time at Nat’s”, not apart Chris? Are you seeing my messages? Baby? Chris, please check your phone and answer me. Please.

-

@burtlederp @finder-of-rings @endless-whump @whumpfigure @astrobly @newandfiguringitout @doveotions @pretty-face-breaker @gonna-feel-that-tomorrow @boxboysandotherwhump @oops-its-whump @cubeswhump @whump-tr0pes @downriver914 @whumptywhumpdump @whumpiary @orchidscript @nonsensical-whump @outofangband @eatyourdamnpears

[elainsshadows]

I want to talk about Elain today and her role in future books. I will also be talking about other ships at the end of this including: Lucien x Vassa, Lucien x Elain, and Azriel x Gwyn. These are merely my opinions and thoughts, this is not me trying to bash anyone else's opinions. I am open to having discussions as long as you are kind and respectful.

This is going to be long as a warning. Let's begin.

Quiet Strength

My friend recently start reading ACOTAR and she came to me one day and said that she had found a quote that she really liked. That quote was:

"She had looked at that cottage with hope; I had looked at it with nothing but hatred. And I knew which one of us had been stronger" ~ ACOTAR, pg. 259

I know that a lot of antis like to bring up the fact that Elain didn't do anything but plant flowers and such while Feyre was out risking her life to put food on the table. Why hadn't Elain planted food instead? As someone who tried to garden vegetables with her dad one year I can tell you it's not as easy as flowers.

Maybe Elain was trying to bring some color into their drab little existence like Feyre had done with the paints. Maybe she wanted one thing to make her happy.

When Feyre comes to see them in ACOMAF, to ask for their help, it was Elain who said that they should help.

"If... if we do not help Feyre, there won't be a wedding." ~ ACOMAF pg. 247

"Feyre gave and gave - for years. Let us help her. Help... others." ~ ACOMAF pg. 248

Elain was risking a lot by saying they should now help their Fae sister. She was going to be married to someone who's family hated the Fae. If they found out what Elain and Nesta were doing it would probably be the end of her engagement to Graysen. They would become Fae sympathizers and like the Children of the Blessed we see mentioned throughout the books.

Would a coward risk all of this? Not to me they wouldn't.

When Rhys, Az, and Cassian arrive once Elain had cleared out the servants. Elain, while scared, still tries to be a good host to the four of them. I want to come back to this scene when I discuss Elriel because this was the moment that I first started thinking that they would make a good pair.

But while Nesta and Feyre are more bold with their actions like wielding swords, bow and arrows, knives, etc., Elain doesn't necessarily back down from a challenge. When given Truth-Teller she simply states that she doesn't know how to use it. She does not shove it back at Azriel and refuse it, she simply informs him she doesn't know how to use it.

Also when they had been captured by Hybern and all that mess was going down. Tamlin had been gunning for Feyre and it was Elain who did this:

"But Elain's cry - a warning. A warning to- To my right, now exposed, Tamlin ran for me. To grab me at last." ACOMAF pg. 602

Elain, despite being scared in this highly stressful situation, saw her sister in danger and tried her hardest to warn her. If it had not been for Elain, Tamlin might have been able to grab Feyre at that moment in all the confusion and chaos. Despite being in her nightgown and terrified she still tried to protect her younger sister.

Once again when people are in danger once the Wall had been taken down it was Elain who spoke up. She knew that Graysen's family's estate could help protect those closest to the Wall and from any Fae that may come to do them harm.

"Glamour me," Elain said - to Rhys. "Make me look human. Just long enough to convince him to open his gates to those seeking sanctuary." ~ ACOWAR pg. 471

"It's already ended badly. Now it's just a matter of deciding how we meet the consequences." ~ ACOWAR pg. 471

She's Fae now. If Graysen or any of his family or those working for them knew this (which we see that they did) then they might kill her on sight. She risked her life to make sure defenseless humans remained as safe as they could with the oncoming war.

When Azriel and Feyre go to Hybern's camp to save Elain they also save another human. They are being pursued and clearly, the human girl is terrified of them, but it is Elain that says this:

"Grab onto him!" Elain ordered to the wide-eyed human girl as Azriel thundered toward her. *skipped ahead* "Elain screamed at her, "If you want to live, do it now!" ~ ACOWAR pg. 577

She also does this when the King of Hybern's beasts are upon them:

"Elain moved. As Azriel battled to keep them airborne, keep his grip on them, my sister sent a fierce kick into the beast's face. Its eye. *Skipped ahead* "Elain slammed her bare, muddy foot into its face again. The blow struck home." ACOWAR pg. 577

Knowing that their lives are in danger and that if this beast does anything to Azriel's wings they are all going to die. She does not hesitate and does not back down as she goes after the beast with her barefoot.

She slays the King of Hybern as well:

"Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him, and rammed Truth-Teller to the hilt through the back of the King's neck as she snarled in his ear, "Don't you touch my sister." ~ ACOWAR pg. 652

She has a protective streak in her and she will go down swinging if she has to.

And this I just found interesting. Everyone seems to shy away from Amren, but in ACOFAS this happens when they're all eating together:

"Elain, to my surprise, held Amren's gaze." ~ ACOFAS pg. 108

I just like that she held Amren's gaze.

Being Feminine Isn't Boring

I see a lot of people saying that Elain being feminine is boring, that she isn't an exciting heroine. Yes, Elain isn't one of SJM's typical heroines, but I think that makes her all the more interesting. We've never seen someone who isn't like Aelin, Bryce, Feyre, and Nesta from SJM.

"Elain stood between Nuala and Cerridwen at the long worktable. All three of them covered in flour." ~ ACOWAR pg. 386

"Elain was in the kitchen, helping Nuala and Cerridwen prepare the evening meal." ~ ACOFAS pg. 101

"She'd been toiling in the estate gardens since dawn." ~ ACOSF pg. 28

"Elain had already departed with Feyre, claiming she had to be up with the dawn to tend to an elderly faerie's garden." ~ ACOSF pg. 311

Do I think Elain's entire book will be based on her baking and taking care of gardens? No, I don't. I think she is capable of more than that and that is going to lead into my next point.

Elain Archeron, 007

This is not a new theory and it isn't even one that I came up with. Many lovely Elriels have pointed out comparisons to Azriel and Elain and how he may even teach her how to be a spy. I think it is a perfectly lovely idea. Let me show you some quotes from the book that make me think that this could be a possibility.

"Elain spoke from the doorway, having appeared so silently that they all twisted toward her, "Using me." ~ ACOSF pg. 230

They were talking about looking for the Dread Trove here and scrying. They were debating who should do it when Elain stepped up. She has done this before and with her seer abilities she is a perfect choice for the job. Obviously several characters aren't thrilled with the idea (Nesta and Azriel being two of the ones that don't like the idea).

"Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, "There is an innate darkness to the Drea Trove that Elain should not be exposed to." ~ ACOSF pg. 311

"Elain saw every single thing Nesta had done, and understood why." ~ ACOSF pg. 470

"You came," Elain said behind her, and Nesta started, not having heard her sister approach. *skipped ahead* "Wondering if she'd been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends." ~ ACOSF pg. 595

We see that even Nesta is questioning whether or not Elain has been having lessons. She very well could have or this could be a hidden talent that Nesta has never gotten to see or never cared to see because she viewed Elain as someone who is innocent and needing protection.

Nesta mothers Elain throughout the series, we constantly see her coming to Elain's defense, stepping in front of her, talking for her. And while Elain used to let that slide we can see now that she is coming into her own and not letting Nesta walk all over her.

"Elain said, "You can't have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater." ~ ACOSF pg. 232

I think Elain has been denied many things in her life because she has been seen as the most beautiful. Her own mother seeing her as nothing more than a pretty face that would be easy to marry off once she was of age. What will she do now that she has more freedom than she did before? Now that she will not become some lord's wife?

I do not see Elain as a warrior who is ready for battle, but I see her being ready for a different kind of battle.

"It took hours for Elain to work her charm on the staff to swiftly pack their bags and leave, each with a purse of money to hasten the process." ~ ACOMAF pg. 250

You know who else is charming? James Bond.

Being another pretty face has something going for Elain. No one would look at her and think "Yeah she's totally a spy." She can charm people, make them feel more at ease, and get them to open up. Maybe even enough that they think nothing of divulging things in front of her that otherwise shouldn't be overheard.

Maybe she can learn to glamour herself so that she is not recognizable to others. Who knows but I'm sure we'll find out when her book happens.

Welcome To Spring

One of my least favorite theories I've seen is that Elain will leave the Night Court and her family to go to Spring. Even going as far as saying that she will wind up with Tamlin. I don't think Feyre would let her sister wind up with her abuser plain and simple. Nor do I think Elain would fall for her sister's abuser just because he lives in a land of eternal spring and has flowers.

In ACOSF Nesta has this thought:

"Elain would love this place. So many flowers, all in bloom, so much green, *skipped ahead* But Elain... The Spring Court had been made for someone like her." ~ ACOSF pg. 454

While I do believe that Elain would love the Spring Court I do not think she would ever leave her family or friends behind.

"Two half-wraiths she called friends." ~ ACOSF pg. 595

"Cassian kissing Elain's cheek in greeting. *skipped ahead* Amren came next, giving my sister a nod. *skipped ahead* The Mor, with a smacking kiss for either cheek." ~ ACOFAS pg. 105

We also know that the sisters tend to consider one of the brothers friends. Feyre with Cassian, Nesta with Azriel, and I believe Rhys and Elain will also be friends. He seems to like Elain (certainly more than he likes Nesta).

Plus now there is Nyx in the mixture and why would she leave and miss out on her nephew growing up? What about if Nesta becomes pregnant and has a child? So no I do not believe that Elain will leave the Night Court.

Shipping Time

Here is where opinions and feelings may vary and people might not like what I have to say. Just know that these are merely my feelings on a ship. Ship what you want to ship, I am not here to gatekeep. These are merely my feelings on the matter. I'm going to start with the two ships I like: Elain x Azriel and Lucien x Vassa.

Elain Archeron x Azriel

I mentioned this earlier but I've been shipping them since ACOMAF. I saw the potential for them from the moment they began to interact.

"Elain rasped, "Nice to meet you," before hustling after her, the silk skirts of her cobalt dress whispering over the parquet floor." ~ ACOMAF pg. 253

I like the symbolism in this line. Cobalt = Azriel's siphons. Whispering = Azriel's shadows. While it might not be that deep as a writer I like the small things like this in my works. Things that later when you come back to them after something important happens that is a callback to something like this you can go "ooooh that makes sense now, yeah." We also do see other mentions of Elain wearing blue, but this post is long enough and it's only a few more times so I don't think it's worth noting. This part just sticks out to me because it's the first time they're meeting and like I said I love symbolism.

"Elain said to Azriel, perhaps the only two civilized ones here, "Can you truly fly?" ~ ACOMAF pg. 256

Elain who has been taught to fear the Fae is talking to him, also probably leaning around Cassian - who she is seated next to and also has wings - and asking if he can fly.

Azriel responds on the same page saying, "We're born hearing the song of the wind." And her response of, "That's very beautiful." This is the same male who famously said he wouldn't need poetry to woo a woman. Maybe he's not trying to woo her here, but he's trying to impress her.

"Elain, noticing Azriel's ease as proof that things weren't indeed about to go badly offered one (a smile) of her own as well." ~ ACOMAF pg. 258

She seems mighty comfortable with a Fae she just met. Which leads my into my two mate theory that I've had for some time now.

We know the tweet where SJM says that someone can have two mates. This was during a time when one of the TOG novels was about to come out and was probably referencing something in there, but I think it would be interesting to see play out in this situation as well.

We've seen several times people questioning Elain and Lucien's mating bond. Feyre and Azriel both do it. Feyre during ACOWAR and Azriel in his bonus chapter from ACOSF.

We also know that not all mates are happy pairings ie. Rhysand's parents and Tamlin's parents. We also know that sometimes it's based on who would have the strongest offspring. We can see this reflected in both Rhysand and Feyre's mating (he's considered the most powerful High Lord and she has abilities from all seven HLs).

But what if Elain and Lucien aren't true mates? True mates to me is a happily mated pair like Feyre and Rhys as well as Nesta and Cassian. Azriel questions why his brothers were mated to two sisters while the third was mated to another. (Pardon me for not using quotes here, I do not have the bonus chapter so I am going from memory.)

Why indeed? And I think it was because he was on the floor dying at the time. We know that the Cauldron loves Elain, so if her true mate was on the floor dying and there was no guarantee for survival it would make sense for the Cauldron to gift Elain another mating bond.

I will talk more about this in the section where I discuss them as a ship, but I wanted to briefly mention it here.

We also know the scene where Azriel hands over Truth-Teller to her, something that shocks all of them. I think of Truth-Teller like Azriel's security blanket. Something that brings him comfort and he never ever wants to part with it. But he gives it to Elain.

After she was taken by the Cauldron and held captive at Hybern's camp. After she says this:

"She shook her head, devouring the sight of him as if not quite believing it. "You came for me." The shadowsinger only inclined his head." ~ ACOWAR pg. 573

Why did she look only to Azriel? Why did she seem so surprised that he would come for her? Kind of like how a princess might not believe that her prince has come for her. (Love me some Disney princess movies)

To me these two just fit together. And to me they are more like Hades and Persephone than Feyre and Rhysand are. And hear me out: Elain as Persephone, goddess of spring. Azriel as Hades, god of death. (Feyre once calls him Death when thinking of a painting of him and Elain. Death and the lovely fawn she called it). Some might see Azriel and Elain falling in love as stealing her away from her mother (or mate in this case).

Also if you want another mythology reference. Paris (Azriel), Helen (Elain), Menelaus (Lucien). Helen was considered the most beautiful and was stolen away from her husband Menelaus (though I think she went with Paris willingly so there's that.)

I see so many parallels and signs that point toward an Elriel endgame. We know Elain's book is in the works and I'm pretty sure it's next since Sarah has talked about doing research for her book. We also know that Sarah is excited to work with Azriel as well.

Moving on.

Lucien Vanserra x Vassa

I've been shipping them since ACOWAR. So not as long as Elriel, but since a bit. I think this was the line that did it for me:

"Indeed, Vassa still remained inside, chatting with Lucien animatedly. *skipped ahead* Lucien, surprisingly, was chuckling, his shoulders loose and his head angled while he listened." ~ ACOWAR pg. 690

Unlike with Elain, he seems comfortable around Vassa.

"Even with Elain here, he's become close with Jurian and Vassa. He's voluntarily living with them these days, and not just as an emissary. As their friend." ~ ACOSF pg. 57

I'm a sucker for the friends to lovers trope (it only falls after the enemies to lovers trope). And while we do not have a lot on them I can see the two of them being happy. I can see Lucien trying to find a way to make her immortal if that's what she wants. And I just want the two of them finding their HEA together in the final book.

My theory is that Vassa will be the MC of the last book and will deliver the killing blow to Koschei (as she should). I would love to see their journey together and their time together in the mortal lands especially since the mating bond would be severed at this point if Elriel is the book before this one. I want Lucien to be happy and I think that he could be happy with Vassa.

Elain Archeron x Lucien Vanserra

We know that Elain and Lucien are mates. He announced this on page 608 a little bit after Elain had come out of the Cauldron. But these two do not seem to fit together in my opinion. Now please note I have nothing against Elucien, I even like some of the fanart and the theories I have read are wonderful. I'm just personally not a fan of these two because of how they were thrust together.

When comparing Jesiminda and Elain, Lucien says this:

"Elain had been... thrown at him." ACOWAR pg. 249

I know Lucien wants to be happy and I know mates are special, but I don't necessarily think that Elain will be his happiness. I think that the way they met ruined that for them.

"But Elain blinked slowly, "You were in Hybern." *Skipped ahead* "You betrayed us." ACOWAR pg. 250 - 251

Lucien, however willing or unwillingly, did play some part in Elain being turned Fae. He was one of the reasons she could no longer go home or marry Graysen. I don't know if that's something that could be overcome especially since Elain is still dealing with the events of that day.

We also know that Elain tends to avoid him, shrinking in on herself when he's around. Another reason why I can't ship this is because I've been in a similar situation where people were pressuring me to be with someone I had no interest in. I know what it's like to hear "you two are perfect for each other", "you should give him a chance", "just try".

Their relationship is not evolving naturally like Feyre and Rhys's did or Cassian and Nesta's. I don't think Lucien would ever push the mating bond onto Elain, but I do think since it's something special to Fae he may cling to it more than she will.

Another thing about their bond that doesn't sit with me is how it is described.

"It felt... strange," Elain breathed. "Like you pulled on a thread tied to a rib." ACOWAR pg. 301

"There's a bond - it's a real thread," he said, more to himself than us." ACOWAR pg. 301

Other bonds have been described as "so much golden thread" or an "unbreakable chain". But Elain and Lucien's is described as a singular thread that feels as though it were attached to a rib. To me mating bonds are like soulmates, why would that bond be attached to a rib and not the heart or her being?

I believe that once again either the Cauldron created this bond between them or maybe they are not what's considered a "perfect match" like Elain's sisters with their mates are.

I will say this: If Elain and Lucien do wind up together I won't be mad. Sure they are not my preferred ship, but they both deserve happiness and can find it together then good for them. We will just have to wait and see where SJM takes them.

Azriel x Gwyn Berdara

I've lowkey been dreading talking about them because of how toxic this fanwar between Elriels and Gwynriels gets. Once again this is just my opinion and my theories. No hate or shade to any of the shippers. I will not be bashing theories. If you don't want to read my thoughts then please just leave now and pretend you never saw this.

I do not like Azriel and Gwyn as a ship for one very big reason: power imbalance. Azriel saved Gwyn from a highly traumatic experience. Now before I go any further let me say that I brought this up to my mom who also reads the series but isn't a shipper, she just reads them to enjoy them. I asked her what she thought of Az x Gwyn as a pairing and if she would like to see that and she said no that she also felt there would be a power imbalance.

Gwyn is a strong character, but I do not think I could get behind her and Az as a couple because of how they met.

I also do not believe that Gwyn will be the MC of any of the last books there are. We still have Elain's book, possibly a Mor book, or even Vassa. There are too many people from the original trilogy that we need to see books for. While I will not rule out a book in the future I don't see her getting one now.

I know the necklace is a hot button issue, but I also don't believe that Clotho gave it to her. We never hear it mentioned in the main portion of the book and I think Clotho knew how troubled Azriel was and thought that she should hold onto it just in case.

"You're the new ribbon, Az," ~ ACOSF pg. 623

Gwyn is a competitive person, to me this line that Nesta says is here merely telling Az that Gwyn's next challenge would be to prove him wrong about the training course. Nesta knows of Azriel's feelings for her sister by this point, so I don't see this line as her teasing Az about Gwyn possibly having a crush on him.

But again these are just how I interpret things between them.

These are all my thoughts at the moment that I'm going to share. If you would like to have a discussion my ask box is open. Hate will not be tolerated though.

[whysojiminimnida]

Hello. First of all, I want to say that your blog has been my happy place. You are so smart and funny. Your posts make me laugh and think and change my perspective. Second, I’m a Jikooker. Not a minor nor an anti. Your recent post about haters sending you multiple asks made me understand why you can be defensive and cautious. It must be difficult for you. I didn’t truly realize it before that post of yours… Thank you. There is one thing I wanted to ask you for a very long time though… How is this an argument that 24-25 year old men can’t be attracted to minors? You know, that sick self-insert fic with V you wrote about and Jungkook with the dancer girl. I don’t say THEY are attracted to minors! But men? I WISH it was true. To me it is wishful thinking. I don’t know how to say it in English correctly. I was given to my |soon to be ex| husband of 11 years older than me at the age of 16. I was tiny, weighed nothing, only wanted to play Sims. It’s not America, Eastern Europe. Everyone around us was in awe. Not a single person in our large social circle doubted the age difference. Men are very much attracted to minors both physically and mentally. Mentally is probably the worst. To be honest, reading that men who like 18 year old girls are predators hurt so much that I consider leaving the fandom. I do agree that such men ARE predators. But this point of view is applicable in very few (better) societies. I want to believe that BTS are outstanding in every sense of word and won’t be interested in relationship with a minor. Including Jungkook. But most of the world won’t see a 24 year old man interested in a minor girl as a predator. It will be a freaking LOVE story. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry when I read about this. It’s just not an argument for me. I just hope that BTS won’t be like 90% of men… I tend to believe that Jimin and Jungkook are together, but if you ask me, I will say that a 24-year old man can totally be attracted to an 18 year old girl.

Hi anon :)

Thank you for sharing your story with us. It’s important that we learn cultural and societal differences so we can be better to each other.

The idea of you being given away makes me sad and angry for the girl you were then. That just have been very weird and kind of scary and I’m sorry you went through it. I’m glad you’re grown up now and able to end your marriage. Healing takes a long time but I feel confident that a smart, strong woman like you are can heal, if you feel that you need to.

Honestly I know it’s very possible and in many places it is normal for age differences of five, even ten years. And even in the US girls are allowed to marry as young as twelve with parental consent (in Massachusetts, anyway).

Thing is, anon, in the US, the same girl allowed to marry at 12 with her parent’s consent would be considered a rape victim if she had sex with even a 16 year old without marriage - because of the age difference. And because marriage is the one place girls can still be assaulted and kept as slaves legally.

I hope that your marriage didn’t feel abusive or awful to you. If it did, I hope you know that I don’t believe any of that was your fault, and that you can look for help if you need it. If you do want some resources for help as you start your life again, feel free to DM me and let me know the country where you live. I will help you find any help that you need.

But. Jungkook is not interested in Nain as a romantic partner. Age is a much bigger issue in Korea. Even a younger twin must use honorifics with their minutes-older sibling. More than three years’ difference in couple’s ages is unusual there. Six or seven is well outside the norm.

But that’s not really why Jungkook isn’t interested in Nain sexually. He isn’t into her like that because he’s gay and in a committed relationship. Even if he’s bi (which I doubt, but it could happen) he’s with someone (cough Jimin cough) and I just have never seen him express actual interest in a girl of any age. Ever.

So while it is possible and in many cultures acceptable for grown men to desire and even marry minor girls, that is not the norm in Korea. And even if it was, a guy has to be into girls in the first place. JK isn’t.

Again, thank you for sharing with us. I’m sorry if I made you feel weird at all. Here’s a hug if you want one. And if you don't want one that is totally okay too so just in case here's also Sasha Trusova giving the Olympics (and Eteri and also men in general) the finger.

a hug for anon but only if you want it

AND because we all kinda feel like Sasha sometimes

the "I don't care if I'm at the Olympics, just fuck all of you" finger. Sasha Trusova is a relatable queen.

[antiloreolympus]

7 Anti LO Asks

1. Do you know what really gets my blood boiling about this comic? Persephone and Demeter's relationship.

In the myths, Demeter and Persephone loved each other more than anything. Their reunion is so important - it marked the coming of spring and growth. A whole cult was dedicated to this for crying out loud. Yes, the myths were far from perfect, but the Persephone and Demeter myth showed the strength of a loving mother-daughter relationship with Demeter searching endlessly to find her child that was ripped away and had her innocence forcibly taken.

Now, RS is not the only author to make Demeter this over-bearing mother type in order to put more positivity onto the Hades-Persephone relationship. However, RS takes this trend to a whole new level - to the point where I would even consider it misogyny.

How is it, she takes this beautiful mother-daughter relationship and makes it out to be an abusive and controlling one, and then takes the Hades-Persephone relationship from a forceful one to a loving, perfect relationship with no problems? How is it ok to ruin one relationship to elevate another?

I understand that many versions of the myth try to downplay Hades' actions, and even make it so Persephone actually falls in love with him and there is no rape. But it doesn't change that this relationship was problematic, and meant to represent the loss of innocence.

Then fans have the gall to claim this comic is feminist and then claim on top of that that Demeter and Persephone's relationship was the same in the myth? These fans clearly don't know the myths, and neither does RS.

Making Hades a good person is fine. Changing it up a bit to make Persephone's loss of innocence something else is also fine. But ruining Demeter and Persephone's relationship? Especially when Persephone has to spend half the year with her? So horrible. 

2. im sorry, but rachel cant introduce KRONOS coming back and then dropping it for several episodes to focus on a stake-less trail and persephone not knowing what lingerie to seduce hades in. like thats too much of an earth shaking development and huge stake plot point to just ignore for months to focus instead on something as minor as hxp's relationship, which only points out a huge flaw: why is hxp's relationship so minor in this? isnt the whole point supposed to be about them?

3. I think LO completely dropped the ball over Hades’ characterization. 

From the first ep I thought ok, this is good, we have some bones to see he’s not that lucky in love and is just tired and lonely, and while ignoring the creepy actions towards Persephone, I thought ok, Artemis hates him, Hestia hates, even Ares hates him, maybe once Persephone finally sees the underworld and probably gets to know him it’ll be a clever twist and they’ll be proven wrong. The underworld will turn out to be fair and just, the citizens will love Hades, he’ll be revealed to be a good leader and king and not like his brothers, it’ll be like everyone saying Hades of myth isn’t actually that bad, and it’ll help reinforce why this sweet and bubbly Persephone wants him, she sees the real him, not the mean rumors and assumptions, this is perfect.

And then it just didn’t happen. The exact opposite happened, actually.

We’re shown the LO underworld is cruel and unjust, where the poor dead are forced into slavery and Hades created a harsh class divide with him and him only on top, the citizens hate him, the underworld gods don’t trust him and openly seem ok if he’s taken out of power, he’s not a good leader and king and doesn’t even want the job yet keeps it for his own ego and grip of power m, and on top of it all he is just like his brothers, if not worse. He loves to get violent over any little slight against him, he hoards wealth and resources to enrich himself while his citizens starve and struggle to survive, he’s corrupt, he controls all the media and laws to bend to his will, sleeps with his brothers wife for centuries behind his back while claiming to be holier than thou, he has sex with his secretaries who are made dependent on him for any way to survive, and now he lusts after his barely legal intern who is also now dependent on him for her way to survive, and that’s only what I remember off the top of my head.

LO perfectly set up to prove Hades isn’t the devil or the false pop culture assumption that he’s evil and to show some actual facts from myth, and yet Rachel only ended up reinforcing exactly that and even making him even worse with her made up ideas, all while thinking having Persephone ignore or excuse it somehow makes it not bad or even a good thing. It’s honestly kind of impressive just how bad of writing that actually is. 

4. Chapter 172 is not that interesting. It’s setup had me excited to see Hephaestus and Hera and learning more about echo, but it’s cut so short. Because again the story can’t leave HXP out for 2 seconds.

I can also see why Zeus is gonna go insane. 

5. i agree w/ other anon. LO should have pulled a PJO or a BoZ and just made up OCs and have them interact with the gods than whatever Rachel thinks shes doing, which is lying she's being accurate and faithful while completely changing all of it, removing what is needed, and adding what isnt so that it lines up with no actual myth besides like, various 50 shades fanfic she read in 2015 and some popular tumblr text posts.

6 . the animation studio behind blood of zeus literally can only draw one face for the men and one face for the women and they were still able to make the gods all look distinct and hot while LO can't even bother to use more than 6 colors and can only have the women look as tiny as possible with the biggest boobs while the men are all just lego men.

7. ////FP SPOILERS////

Okay so like I stopped reading LO way back before season 1 ended, and a majority of my knowledge of the series comes from what I read here on your blog which is enough for me lol and I decided to read the latest 5 chapters just to see what's up (on zahard. I refuse to give the actual series any views)

And I just. Could not take the whole scene with Daphne running from Apollo seriously? The anatomy and art inconsistency was so distracting that i genuinely could not find it serious. Even when Thanatos discovers her hibernated body I couldn't take it seriously because of how she looked?

And when Hades had that call (??? Was it a call? Or his inner dialogue? I couldn't really tell ngl) with Zeus and said he's causing Persephone unnecessary distress, and that she didn't pose any threat. B!tch??? She killed a ton of mortals??? She has no control over her powers???? She's literally a fugitive for the aforementioned things??? She apparently woke Kronos up? (Idk if anyone knows about that, again my knowledge only spans to whatever I read here) Hello????

And I have a lot to say about the chapters starting the trial but I'll only mention one thing; Hades saying "I don't think blindly supporting my little brother would be doing him any favours (as a ruler)" had me cackling. This is coming from a guy blindly supporting a girl he's literally only known for a few weeks, who's like what, only recently turned 20? Sit tf down Hades you're not cool, you creepy ass overgrown smurf.

Overall I still hate this series lmao. Regarding art though I feel like I wouldn't be so miffed about the anatomy much if the character designs were consistent and the story was compelling. They literally change hairstyles and body types frame by frame, and it's distracting.

The timeline from what I read here is laughable. 4 years in publication with almost 200 chapters and you're telling me only like a month has passed canonically. That's wild and such poor writing.

And as someone who literally will sympathise with any lead character pretty quickly, the story makes me hate them. It makes me want to root against them. I also hate the fact this trash is somehow top ranked on webtoons when so many other stories are far better then it.

Anyway, many thanks to this blog for existing and allowing me to dump so much text here to vent out my hate for this series lmao. You the mvp fam, hope you're having a good day 🥂🥂🥂

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Prepare for trouble, and make it double!

My attempt of making a writing colab along with @thotsforvillainrights and her beautiful baby Kaishi! Hope I made justice for your cute little one!

"Boreeeeeeed....." the kid whined, upside down besides his fatger on the couch as he read a book without much caring it in the first place.

With a huff, Kaito raised himself up and kneeled right besides his dad, leaning his hubby cheek against his shoulder.

"Papaaaa?" The boy almost whined as Kai only flipped a page of his book. The five year's old pouted as he stood up and started to make noises with his mouth, knowing how much Kai was bothered by them.

"For crying out loud, what?" The older malr snapped as Kaito stopped making noises and just stared blanky back at him "Well?"

"I'm bored."

"... do I look like an amusement park to you brat?" Kai sighed before driving his attention to his book "Go play with your toys or read something. "

"You are the most boring dad in the world papa." Kaito pointed out with a frown and before Kai could come back with some smart ass reply they heard door's noises and Kaito immediately brighten up.

"Mama!" The boy shouted in goee as he climbed off the sofa as Kai immediately thanked God or whoever was above for you to finally be home.

"Woah hey bub!" You giggled with a few packs on your hands as the child hugged onto your lev with all the strenght he had.

"I missed you! Being with papa alone is boring." You tried to prevent a snort to come before you just giggled and carresed both of your son's checks lovingly.

"Guess what? There is a surprise on the hallway and maybe you womt be just as bored."

"But papa said we cant have a dog." The kid pouted as your heart clenched a little... you were still fighting over Kai to at least get a puppy.

"Is not a puppy sweetie. But is your cousin Kaishi!" You smiled brightly as your son's (e/c) shined a bit even if his face didn't changed at all "Go say hi to him and be nice!"

"Ok." The kid nodded and went pass you as you picked the bags and soon heard shrieks of gless coming from the hallway and a very fearfull looking Chisaki Kai almost drop himself on his way as he found you with wide eyes.

"I heard screaming. From two kids. We have only one. What did you do?!" He almost exclaimed as you arched an eyebrow and giggled.

"You already forgot hon? Our nephew Kaishi is here to spend the day with us. Isn't adorable? Kaito will have a playdate almost!" You stopped giggling when your husband's face went as pale as it could get "oh my god Kai you're okay?!"

"T-Two... brats... Two little demonic pests... in the same house... in my house..." his golden eye twitched as he brought one of his hands to scretch his forearm.

"Aren't you being a little overdramatic?" You tried to coax him to relax until you both froze at the sounds of devilsh giggles, pots falling and surely Rappa and Mimic's screams of anger.

"I am not." If you didn't knew your husband, you surely would've tell by his tone of voice that he was actually terrified.

.

.

.

"This drink will make everyone's who drink it into a rat!" Kaishi exclaimed while adding dead leafs into the pot as kaito nodded with a determined and concentrated face.

"Rats like cheese... I guess maybe a bit of spoiled cheese?" Kaito offered while pointing at to the trash can.

"Yeah! That will work!" Kaishi smiled as Kaito quickly picked with his already dirty hlittle hands the before saftely wrapped spoiped cheese and dropped onto the pot.

"Now what?" The boys looked at each other before Kaishi picked a bit of mud nearby, silently suggesting to put as Kaito smiled and nodded.

The... substance, was indeed something. Not only the appearance of it was terryfing but the smell of it almost made the two young boys puke.

"We will have to drink that?" Kaishi spoked, his little voice all funny due to him covering his nose as Kaito immediately shocked his head in disaproval of the idea "So who will?"

"..."

"..."

"Papaaaa!!!!" "Uncle Kaiii!"

He froze aat the voices of the boys as he was trying to play shogi in peace with Pops as the elder only chuckled when the two energetic boys opened the door's room, Kaito carrying a cup of God's know why.

"What now?" He arched an eyebrow from his place of the couch at Kaito covered in mud and dirt offering him a cup.

"Drink it!" Kaito told simply as Kaishi covered his mouth to prevent a giggle to escape.

"Why on hell I would do something like that?" He stared at the two before he felt his hives appearing on high speed "You both. Bath. Now."

"Drink this first papa!!" Kaito stoomped his foot down, not getting a tad bit scared when Kai just stood up with a glare.

"Kaito Chisaki."

"Drink it!" The boy accidentaly tripped and it sended the mixture right on Kai's necj and some of it on his mask... thankfully.

"Oh geez." Pops chuckled while grabbing his cup of tea as he saw in question of minutes Kaishi grabbing his cousin's hand and yelling to run as Kai ran after them with a pissed offf shout.

.

.

.

You finishedd making the snacks for the kids until you saw your husband on the doorway, eye twitching, sleeves rolled back, from head to waist all dripping wet as the two boys greeted you like little angels... and to notify, they were sparkling almost.

"Uh... I heard some shouting but I thought you three were playing so.." you smiled awkwardly as you picked Kaishi up as he nuzzled on your neck as Kaito pouted as the jelly little mommy's boy he was.

"Those pests..." your husband muttered in a murdeful tone of voice before sighing and going straight to the bathroom.

"What did you two do to your poor uncle and father huh?" You asked as the two boys stared at you back before both replying in the same time.

"We tried to turn him into a rat."

Oh dear...

.

.

.

You soon notice that the boys were handfull even to yourself together so you quickly offered a movie to put on as you saw the look of your husband's face as he tried to just eat his dinner in peace but alas, his son and nephew had other plans on just asking ever type of question possible and if not answered right away they poked him, not caring about his mysophobia anymore.

"You're an angel you know that..." you smiled in sympathy as your Kai rested his head on your shoulder, completely drained from having to deal with two versions of hyperative children of the same gene.

"You deserve to rest my poor baby." You murmured while kissing his temple as he grumbled something.

"Gross." Kaito commented as Kaishi nodded in aproval.

"Disgusting." Kaishi tried to imitate Kai's voice only to end up laughing along with Kaito.

"... tell me is already the time to bed for those..." your husband almost begged until Kaito got up to fist your clothes on his tiny fists and rest his head on your lap.

"Can Kaishi stay the night mama? Pretty please?" He asked with the puppy dog eyes you just couldn't refuse.

"Absolutely no-" "of course honey." Kai got his face up from your neck only to glare daggers at you as the children cheered.

"You traitor..." he spoke in utter disdust as you could only giggle.

.

.

.

"The boy are sleep. The extra cushion did came in handy." You smiled as your husband immediately fell into the bed with a groan.

"They're quite... handfull." You laughed at his mumbling and went to do your night routine... as soon as you finished you got out of the bathroom to met Kai already on his back staring at the ceiling before those amber eyes fell on you.

"They did drain your energy out today huh?" You sit down close to him and softly started to comb your fingers into his hair as he sighed in relief.

"... Lay down.. is getting cold and I dont want you to get sick." He mumbled sleepy as you smiled in utter love for usual anti social germophobic man, giving excuses only for you to lay down and touch him.

"Needy arent we?" You teased, face front to him as he opened one eye lazily before testing the waters and giving you a kiss that soon turned heated.

"I will show you needy."he growled lowly as you felt already heat coming down there and also a tad bit of hardness on his part as he hover over you to attack your neck only for-"

"We can't sleep." Kaito opened the door, carrying his plushie as Kaishi yawned wlazily and opened one eye.

"Auntie? Uncle?"

You just patted your husband's back when he just dropped on you and screamed in frustation on the crook of your neck.

Tough day for daddy Kai.

[anonil88]

Malcolm and Marie live blog

I don't usually do liveblogs for movies but yea.

Spoilers ahead!!

I love that its modern timed but very 70s stylized.

A tune indeed.

When you are high and drunk on success and

How the white critic reacts is why I feel like gatekeeping my scripts. At the same time some things I do make are about race or involve.

Marie sitting on the patio smoking is a mood whenever men are talking.

So he's pretentious and unaware.

Whoever chose the music for this, I feel like we would be Spotify mutuals.

Can this nigga stop pacing.

Also can he stop talking;

Marie is so tired and unimpressed.

Also little booties matter and are to be bitten.

Oooo the tension and the jazz.

Title Card over mac and cheese.

Shitty boxes mac and cheese but still mac and cheese.

Tbh i always wonder if spouses/significant others get upset when their spouses don't acknowledge them during speeches.

John sounds so much like his dad but I really hope his acting style differs from his dad a lot.

Guilty confession?

He did not profit off of his partners backstory and then not even acknowledge her.....I.....

If that ever happened to me catch me cussing my partner out during the beginning credits, the end credits, in the car, and at home.

GASLIGHTER!

The way I'm excited for Zendaya to give me some, oooo can she work with Regina King. Please on my knees I pray.

Um no that's not your job to coddle your lead.

He's a dick and the type of dick who makes himself look like a good person around other people.

If Sam Levinson is trying to make his viewers more of misandrist, it's working.

I feel like Marie has her flaws probably a lot of them and we will surely see as this continues, but Malcolm needs to learn how to apologize sincerely.

70s vibes! 70s vibes!

Them kissing and talking about criticism and dreams makes me miss a partner. A partner that I've had and haven't had.

Women really are behind every great man.

Yea sir you fucked a happy moment.

Oh visual allegories for looking in from the outside and cat and mouse chasing and looking from the outside in.

She's saying she doesn't feel noticed by you.

Gas lighter :0 he called her an emotional support dog, bruh.

I would LOVE to co-write or take a writing class held by Sam Levinson. The fights i write are very much in this same realm of reflection and anger and monologue.

Sam.....sam.....are all the sides inside of you doing okay sir?

The ugly side of dating and being in a relationship with someone who struggles with their own demons.

Honestly I could close my eyes and listen to this script being read without seeing these characters visually. Just close my eyes and get a sense of these characters like it was a radio story.

Oh. Oh this is a new wheelhouse of Zendaya acting; a different voice is like breaking through here and her expressions aren't the same we are used to. You can literally hear another character in there....hmm.

Mans is outside really fighting with his invisible demons lmfao.

Selfish ass, how after everything she said you came out of it thinking about your own craft and self instead of how you hurt her.

So she's conditional.

Me: did sam (a white man) say nigga this many times in his script or are the actors adding their own inflections. Not just the lingo used but the topic of race and directing etc. being written by a white writer about black characters is always gonna be a critique when you're writer is a white person.

Alexa play Broken Girls by Saba

He is so hurtful.

A clown nigga a clown look in the fucking mirror you bozo head ass looking like you need some Mehron clown white and a size 16 in clown shoes.

John is doing a really swell performance and reading of these lines.

He is reading her for her insecurities by bringing up his experiences with other women and that.....is yikes.

Arguments can get messy like this in real life but it takes a lot of maturity and control to either not let it get to this point or have a healthy conversation afterwards.

This film is really shot on some very crisp lenses.

They sitting there like 🚬🧍‍♀️🧍‍♂️.

Leftover Mac and Cheese and unfinished cigarettes.

The nyt etc. pay walls are so annoying, but there is a work around look at the articles on incognito or add a period at the end of the url.

He sounds like his daddy so much here, weird, this is the only part I'm eh on the dialogue it feels real but a bit out of pace in how they are bouncing off one another.

Nail scissors? So the end is not the only part he based off of Marie. 🙄

ITS A GOOD REVIEW YOU DINGUS but also its a full review they are going to critique things. She isn't wrong though he did profit off of a woman's story that was not his own to profit from.

Yes Malcolm because unfortunately all marginalized people look through a lens of life that is inherently political because of the world they live in.

He is so mad and upset and had a lot on his chest. But I think he Malcolm and Sam are talking about something thats an issue and a non issue. Being critiqued for you art is hard but also Malcolm is not super self aware. He's like a stand in figure of for example rich depop sellers who wanna be oppressed so badly they yell at others instead of examining their own personal behaviors and ethics.

Oh Marie, when you know the spark is gone and you pick fights because.

He ain't even ask her to read?

One critic I have for most of hollywood actors is they learn their cry and that is it. A change from this is Margot Robbie, I adore her fluctuations of crying being similar but the crying is carried differently for each character. If I had to say any actor that does a cry scene amazing its this woman right here (Amy Adams)

You stole her story from her and gave it away, she has a right to be upset and angry and a rubber band ball of emotions.

Citizen Kane, not the cinematography, but the story is it even that good? (Unpopular opinion but meh, maybe in my rewatch it will be better.)

But that is what people want authenticity and whatever authenticity means to them. What is real for one is false for another.

To be honest look at the criticism of Euphoria, well earned, but a lot of people were like this isn't real even though he literally wrote about his own life. People said it was inauthentic like....wtf.

Ahh the smoking is just a habit, he quit and she didn't.

CAST ZENDAYA IN A HORROR MOVIE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING. Get Lupita and Zendaya and some more black actors preferably less known ones in a horror movie. One with a interesting script and story, directed by Regina King. Please and thankyou.

I love Marie yep that was amazing.

Behind every great man is a greater woman, one that deserves her credit for how she has stood behind. I wonder the stories of those women, what they have sacrificed or not sacrificed. Their thoughts and feelings when the world is surrounding their partner and views them as a plus one. (I'd write a short script about this but I think do I have the time, can I, or am I equipped ?)

He is a shitty person for bringing up his exes, like she even said I don't wanna know any of that.

Imagine being on anti depressents and rarely having a sex drive and then when you do your partner starts talking about their exes and tearing you apart for all your faults.

I love when you see peaks of Zendaya's cadence in roles.

Tension, what if's and he didn't even bring her up in his speech.

Marie to herself and the audience:

He is not afraid that he will loose her but as my character says in my unreleased story, "i can't wait til you give me a fucking reason to leave your ass." Malcolm expects everything in order for not even doing the bare minimum and she is only asking him for something as simple as consideration. She just wants him to be considerate. He wants to get married and considers their relationship like rolling down a hill at full speed and he cannot apologize, he cannot be considerate, and he cannot admit his wrongs. He can only offer her I love yous that he probably does mean but he does not back up outside of what he's done for her in the past. The past which was more of her experience than his and he sees his part in it as a burden. He doesn't use his own vantage point of the past to further his career he uses her. He does all of these things without a real apology or thankyou because he is not afraid to loose her.

The restrictions of quarantine and the panorama have made Sam's writing very no frills. I wonder how other films from other directors and writers that are filmed in small contained crews like this will be structured. But this was a very good movie gonna add to my letter box 3.3-3.5

Oh shit this is my song,

Ratings/overall thoughts:

Script is like a C+, B- : I could go into my heavier big brain thoughts on the script but I don't feel like it. You catch hints of it above it centers conversation on race and privilege, mainly the writers and questions i have that won't be answered but Sam did make me grow disdain for Malcolm over a short time. Which is sometimes hard to do because im one sympathetic person but the sympathy i have for Malcolm is at 0. Maybe a 2 at some scenes but then it quickly goes back to 0. Some parts of the dialogue miss the mark or hit the are off balanced. While some of it like Malcolm's bathroom speech albeit mean is really strong or their conversation when he comes back from peeing really shines for me.

Performances: B+ to A- because they carried the script further than it could of gone with less talented actors. The monologues do well to showcase their current skill levels which are already high af and leave room for anticipation in where these actors go next.

Zendaya holding a knife: A+ with a gold star. That switch on and off and on is delectable.

John being a shitty boyfriend but following Marie like a lost puppy: B+ with a good job written at the bottom of the paper, Malcolm being nervous a frantic dialed up with more realistic nervousness would have sold me completely on Malcolm's anxious waiting.

Cinematography: A and a participation award.

The mac and cheese: A+ for the easy mac. Wish it was like Annie's or Velveeta.

Cigarettes: Participation award and their picture hung up for student of the month. Why the grill lighter? Everytime Malcolm opened up his mouth Marie was like sparks fly.

The music: A++ with a prize. Whoever picked the music probably makes good Spotify playlists.