#“understand whats going on behind my eyes” but different kinda
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synthshenanigans · 8 months ago
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the Identity lacking knowledge of its identity
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[fun alt repeating thing above & neat alt versions below]
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#“understand whats going on behind my eyes” but different kinda#this is kinda shitty on purpose ?? kinda#idk im slapping soul with my own crisis he can deal with it/silly#bright lights#bright colors#i dont have a favorite guy™ but soul hits different yk#soul and its ideas of itself & his views on being whole need to be talked about more i swear#put that bitch under a microscope & study him cos lord knows he knows itself less than you would#also soul he/it my beloved. youre so close to being counted as canon in a way#chonny jash#chonnys charming chaos compendium#cj soul#-atlas art-#also if you cant tell [which you probably cant for all of it] the lyrics to Dream(OfC). NMtK & part of TSE are in there#also the necklace loose like the red noose from slys art#fun lil fact about my designs for HMSW:#Heart & Mind each have one of the drumsticks from the necklace. Both on opposites hands as a bracelet#gives a more them being halves vibes to me#soul has the left over chain that looks normal turning like as i said before over the course of Cacophony#lack of the drumsticks gives him the “if im not the main part then what am i?” yk#im not the “point” of the necklace so what is my purpose if any or smth#if that makes sense#but of course you couldnt wear the drumsticks as a necklace WITHOUT the necklace. a happier realization toward the end of Cacophony#And Whole has the whole thing together [ha whole]. “all good things come in threes” nd all#ty if you read all this btw & hi :D#ily/p
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mimipolo · 30 days ago
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i am begging
the «reuniting with your ex in the games» BUT it’s Nam-gyu falling for Thanos’ ex😭😭
Nam-gyu x reader
|This was fun to write but I'm not totally sure I did the idea justice
|Also guys when I finish all the requests I DO write for other Squid Game characters especially if they're underrated 🤞
It was easy to want to find a distraction during the games, the pressure of just wanting to survive and leave with a pretty amount of cash being the only thing pushing him forward.
But conventionally that's when he noticed you. It was during the 6-legged race, you had already formed a reliable looking group and were encouraging a frantic looking man. He didn't understand how he had missed you throughout the other games but now his eyes always drew back to you like a magnet.
You weren't even doing anything that special, just talking to that bastard's chic that left him broke. It was your soft look of concern for her that had him falter slightly, he was holding his food as he stared in your direction.
He wanted to talk to you, badly.
As he's biting the inside of his lip, considering whether or not you'll ignore him a familiar cheerful voice comes up from behind. Thanos lazily swinging an arm around his shoulder.
"Whatcha looking at ma boy?" He asked in a playful tone, grinning dopily as he follows Nam-gyu's line of sight, only to land on. You.
His face screws up dramatically as he looks between the stricken look on his friends face and then back to you. Nam-gyu's about to speak up and ask Thanos to hype him up to go talk to you but he's not given a chance when he's suddenly being dragged towards him by both shoulders.
Thanos leans in to whisper, but he's still comically loud. "Nah man, that's my ex, total priss. Trust me you don't want that." But thing is he wanted it, and bad.
He's momentarily speechless as he glances between you and Thanos, torn between his loyalty and this new warm feeling you're giving him. "Yeah...uh huh." He doesn't mean a word of it, you're definitely going to remain on his mind until he can find another way to get to you. He's brought out his thoughts by a clap to his back. "Right idea man." He says nodding his head with a furrowed lip before spinning on his heel to bother someone else, most likely Se-mi.
He couldn't care less what he was on about, your smile was sweet and he felt eager to get your care and attention on him instead. Nodding to himself with a new found resolution as we walked to his bunk to eat his food.
It was honestly unbearable trying to ignore your prescence, he's high off his rockets but he's still looking up at the ceiling stupidly as he tried not to make it obvious he was actually looking at your way and you're only standing in front of him amongst a vast crowd.
Everyone was on their way to the next game, though the colours seemed to blur and blend together he could make out a stage which everyone instinctively stepped on. What kinda game is this supposed to be? His mind is too jumbled to decipher everything like he usually would and he finds himself easily joining in on Thanos' antics.
Blood smeared the doors and floors, the mocking song that blared from above ringing in his ears. All he really had to do was get into a group with the right number, that's all, if he could understand that at least he'd be just fine.
"Two!"
The child like voice sung out and for the last time chaos erupted. His gaze immediately moves to locate Thanos, they had been in every room together so far so he didn't think this time would be any different.
Apparently he judged wrong.
The purple head of hair making some unexplainable noise before grabbing Min-su by the shoulder and skipping off.
What. The hell.
He wanted to kill him, wrap his fingers around his neck and wring him to death, taking his cross as a reward. But now wasn't the time to fantasize. He was quickly growing irritated, cursing under his breath as he looked for anyone he could easily grab.
And that's when his eyes locked with yours.
You look as frantic as he is, and he's genuinely disturbed to realise that all he's thinking about is that you noticed him in this bloody situation. He's stopped in his tracks but you're rapidly advancing towards him, grabbing his arm roughly and tugging him towards a door, not even bothering to give him the chance to accept. He wouldn't have said no way.
When another desperate player tries to grab you to join their room he quickly comes back to reality, swaggerdly pushing the man away from you and rushing to close the door behind the two of you and locking it.
You're panting. Hair falling out your hairband which you briefly grab and retie. Finally your face rises to meet his eye, finally. His back is pressed to the door still, content on watching you do the simple action of tieing your hair back. Noticing your now slightly relieved gaze on him a helplessly boyish grin forms on his face as he swallows shallowly.
"Hey."
"Hi..."
His minds scattered and he's looking for words to say to you but he's cut off by the announcement that it was safe to leave the rooms. Seeing you lean off the wall to leave he steps aside, if he was sober he would've cringed at how you didn't even have to say a word to him to get him to move. He doesn't care right now, pleased to watch your retreating back profile.
His heart stutters slightly when you turn back to look at him with tired yet considerate eyes.
"Think the game is over, you coming?"
He breathes out deeply through his nostrils as he tucks his hair behind his ears as he speeds up to walk beside you. He was doing a terrible job of trying to suppress the smug grin threatening to reveal itself but you didn't seem to notice and if you did you were mostly unbothered. Instead prioritising looking around to see the remaining surviving players.
When your eyes meet with a certain someone. Sensing the shift in your mood he doesn't know why he's surprised to see a still cheerful Thanos leaving a room with Min-su meekly following behind. His mood clearly shifts when he catches sight of you, quickly approaching the two of you, shooting Nam-gyu a judging look.
"You bitch... who woulda thought you'd end up here when you left ya boy when he was at his worst."
"We're not doing this right now, I'm tired man." He scoffs and crosses his arms at your words, rolling his eyes as he rocks from side to side.
"Convenient of you to leave after the fuck up at the competition."
"Well yeah, you managed to find a new hobby I wasn't a fan of."
You spat the words out bitterly, only getting another tsk from Thanos as he tongued his teeth. Nam-gyu could feel himself sobering up and he was able to recognise he was getting to see you up close, how grateful he was. Even if you were scolding his best friend, that scowl on your face making his heart race.
Unexpectedly those pretty eyes turn to look at him questioningly, looking him over carefully.
"You close with him?"
God knew how badly he wanted to say no to have a chance of gaining your favour but an alliance with Thanos had still done him good until now, even when he ditched him. He bit his inner cheek as he looked anywhere but your eyes.
"Yeah..."
"I see."
Thanos honestly felt offended seeing how reluctant Nam-gyu looked to admit he knew him but before he could throw any sort of tantrum he's being ushered away from you and towards the crowd of disheartened people heading for the exit. A small laugh leaves you as you watch the two, stuffing your hands in your pockets as you watched them. That guy, he didn't seem the type to be around someone like your ex, at least from what you saw today.
Everyone's currently catching their breaths and mourning those they lost. Thanos was occupied with rapping random lyrics at Se-mi and Min-su, meaning a great opportunity to potentially sneak off and see you. He wouldn't ask for anymore of those pills, he needed full focus right now, and this time analyse every curve of your face to the t.
Se-mi spares him a mean side glance as she notices him slipping away, only sighing and leaning her cheek on her palm. She couldn't care less for where he was going but she wouldn't lie and say she wasn't slightly surprised to see the man leave his dictator's side without an announcement.
You're sitting on the edge of one of the bunks, mindlessly staring towards the floor, the small group of friends you had made had been illuminated in the last game and it had left your last source of community disjointed and broken.
Your head perks up at the sound of someone clearing their throat, your brows raising slightly when you find it's the guy from before. You smile lightly at him and he swears he's found the meaning of life.
"We were a pretty good duo in that last game huh?"
"Guess you could say that."
"I was uh thinking. I could try and convince Thanos to let you in our group. I know he's-"
"I'm good."
Your blatant rejection stung more than it should, instinctively tucking his hair behind his ears.
"Thanks though, I appreciate the thought."
"Oh, course."
Immediately he forgets about all the ways he could try and convince you. Spacing out at your oddly gentle sounding words that had him strung on each syllable. He's dumbly nodding as he looks up at you with his hands peaking out his tracksuit.
"You're not as bad as him."
You say honestly, you knew of your ex's right hand but he had never particularly stood out to you until now, and at his luck in a generally good light. Tilting your head at him at his silence you sigh and lean back on your hands.
"You shouldn't listen to him too much."
"Right, yeah."
"What's your name by the way, mines [Name]."
He hadn't realised that you didn't know he already knew your name. It took several on the low eavesdropping sessions but it was a prize he proudly acquired himself. Chuckling sarcastically at himself he realised you had also asked him his.
"Nam-gyu. I know Thanos is a dick and all but you can come to me... If you want."
He had an easy going expression on but his heart was racing and he genuinely feared it might stop right in front of you, he's convinced he's pushed this too far already, obviously you'd want nothing to do with him when he's literally best friends with your ex. Yet you chuckle slightly and give a soft nod in return, a knowing smile he felt he'd been waiting ages to be directed at him.
"I'll keep that in mind, Nam-gyu."
Fucking jackpot.
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spitdrunken · 2 months ago
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Your Mr. Scarletella dear lord that was delicious!! I’m kinda obsessed w the concept of not knowing what you’re doing is bringing someone pleasure or at least not until they’ve cum from it. I praise you and I hope for more fics of that kind in the future <3
You're not sure why Mr. Scarletella has seen a bit more fidgety than usually lately. None of his behaviours present in typical, human ways. So, whereas you might have fiddled with your fingers, paced back and forth or talked too much, he's been eerily quiet and constantly distoring the space around him. Colours warp and twist. Sometimes, you'll blink and he'll be beside you. Then, you blink again, and he'll be in front of you. Before you know it, he's behind you again.
You simply can't shake the feeling something's going on. You stop walking. (Where had you been going again...?)
"You hurt?" You ask. "Upset? Troubled? Many quick... Move." Mr. Scarletella, usually eager to respond in his own way, remains quiet. He does appear right besides of you. You reach out for him, the brush of your fingers hovering right above his non-existent body. "Me want help you. You understand?"
"Me understand," he says. His voice is accompanied by more static than usual. The whole air around him seems to hum. Beyond that, his face looks a little different too, but you can't quite put your finger on it. "Me like you. Me want touch. Me want give you [...]... Happy. Enjoyable." He lowers his head a little, averting his face from yours. "You understand?"
You don't know one of the words he used. You try to repeat it. "[...]... Me not understand."
Mr. Scarletella tilts his umbrella a little towards you. "My body. ...Container. You want?" He shifts his hand so he is holding the handle of the umbrella out towards you. He wants you to hold it, it seems. If that'll make him happy, you're happy to oblige, though you don't quite see the significance. You smile at him.
"Me want. Give me." When you take it from him, you catch a glimpse of his face. It becomes obvious now what had been unclear to you before. A reddish flush has settled on his face, wide eyes only staring at your face for a moment before darting away. That should've been your first warning sign.
Even though he'd told you the umbrella could be touched, it's still a surprise that your hand doesn't go straight through it. There's a weight to the object that you hadn't expected. The handle seems to hum and vibrate in your hand with some kind of unseen power.
You twirl the handle in your hand, gliding your hands over the material. It's squishier than you would've thought. It's like holding an approximation of an umbrella made by someone who had only ever seen the object, rather than touched it themselves. You search and fiddle for the button to shut the top, just to make it a bit easier to carry, but you can't seem to find it. Static teases the edge of your hearing. You only see Mr. Scarletella out of the corner of your eye.
You twirl the handle in your hand, gliding your hands over the material. It's squishier than you would've thought. It's like holding an approximation of an umbrella made by someone who had only ever seen the object, rather than touched it themselves. You search and fiddle for the button to shut the top, just to make it a bit easier to carry, but you can't seem to find it. Static teases the edge of your hearing. You only see Mr. Scarletella out of the corner of your eye.
You sigh a little, your hands fiddling with the material before groping up and down the main body. Maybe it's unable to be closed? That would suck. Brow furrowed in thought about your silly little task, you extend your arm and press down on the outer canopy, trying to get it to fold in with no luck. When you push it in, it just pops back out again. Your arm is starting to ache from the weight. You squeeze the handle a bit tighter.
Then, Mr. Scarletella whines. Or, at least, you think he does. The noise is fragmented with so much static and garbled noise that it's hard to entirely tell. You whip around to face him, finding him in an entirely different position than before. He's slumped against the wall, feet facing outward, with an even deeper flush on his face as his fingernails scratch at his cheeks. His eyes are wide and his shoulders shake.
He looks downright loopy. He's lost control of his form, back having sunk several inches into the concrete wall behind him. Behind his fingers, he's grinning, eyes half-lidded and gaze unfocused. The sight sends an immediate, unmistakable shot of arousal through your body.
You're immediately overwhelmed with the desire to ruin him even more. If you had been able to touch him, you would've practically pounced on him, pulling his hand away and pressing your lips against his. Since that isn't possible, you lift up the umbrella and kiss it instead, intent on finding out how many more noises you can pull out of him now that you know what you're doing.
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myownwholewildworld · 3 months ago
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THE WAY TO A GREAT WIDE SOMEWHERE
↪ a the mandalorian x beauty & the beast crossover
main masterlist | read on ao3 | easter eggs pairing: beast!din djarin x f!reader. summary: cursed to spend the rest of his days in Mand'alor, Din Djarin faces a threat that may break his peace: you. -or- a retelling of the beauty and the beast story. a/n: HAHAHA *manic laugh* HI! this has been a long time coming now. first and foremost, i'll start by saying that this whole brainrot was inspired by this beautiful moodboard by the very talented @almostfoxglove, please go see it because it's the main reason i wrote this fic. i have gone crazy trying to link both worlds so i hope some of you see/understand the easter eggs. feel free to come screech at me if you like it because i have been screaming into the abyss for weeks now. love you all, take care! <3 x warnings/tags (beware spoilers): 18+, mdni. set after the events of S2. grogu is BRIEFLY mentioned. if you're a SW purist, this ain't your fic, my friend. the stockholm syndrome is stockholming. beast!din. a fair bit of smut (you know all the usual warnings). sensory deprivation. kinda dom!din. monster fucking (this is a BATB crossover after all, sorry). death of a secondary character. reader is a blank slate. alternating pov. no use of y/n. italics means it's spoken in mando'a OR it's the beast's pov 👀 THIS IS THE WAY. w/c: ~24.3k. (HAHA SORRY) divider by @saradika-graphics taglist at the end 💖
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11 ABY
“Take it with you. Don’t let anyone hav―” your father choked on his last words, a chesty cough wreaking havoc in his damp, bloody lungs. “It’ll take you to where you need to go. Find it. And destroy it,” he muttered as his grey eyes, crowned by bushy, white brows, bore into yours.
In your hands you held the device that had been passed down every generation in your family. It had been commissioned by Tarre Vizsla himself over a thousand years ago when he created the Darksaber ― a Pillio star compass to find not a physical location but his most valuable possession. For almost a millennium, your family had been the guardians of it.
And for as many centuries, your Jedi ancestors had been looking for the Darksaber after they had stolen the star compass from Vizsla. That Jedi blood was far too diluted now, just a remnant of what your family once was since none of you seemed to be Force sensitive. But the mission remained despite the passing of time, not so much the reason behind it.
Since your birth, this was all you knew: the thrill of the chase. Never settling down anywhere, never creating bonds with anyone outside of your tribe. You all were wanderers ― nomads who made home of no world. You knew no other life. It was what it was.
The Jedi star compass fit perfectly on the palm of your hand ― it was circular and slightly bigger than a locket. This one though was different, special even, because it was made of beskar, a metal alloy from Mandalore.
Your fingers caressed the lid, tracing the astromeridian lines with the tips, feeling each groove. Undoing the aurodium clasp, you opened the compass to find a plasma-encased supraluminite lodestone, perfectly centred. The plasma in this specific one, however, was not of a shimmering blue, but a deep, stagnant black. Its magnetism was so strong it buzzed, emitting a low vibrating noise.
You tapped the stone with your thumb, and the vibration pierced through your flesh and bone, travelling up your forearm and dissipating into your body before it reached your chest. You quickly removed your thumb, taken aback by the intensity of it all, eyes slightly widened.
“But father, you heard them. It’s already been destroyed. It’s over,” you whispered, tears trespassing the waterline of your tired eyes.
“They lie. Never trust one of them. Those power-thirsty ra―,” he coughed, pressing the wound that stained his clothing to stop the bleeding. You covered his hand with one of yours, the other still holding the compass. “I know we were close, we had to be. Promise me you’ll keep looking.”
“I promise, father,” you hushed, repressing the sob that threatened to tear your throat.
You laced your hand with his, unbothered by the blood, as you watched his eyes become dull, opaque and dead. His lungs exhaled the last breath while the grip of his hand on yours loosened.
You remained there for a few minutes, pain and grief gnawing at you, knelt by his deathbed, tinkering with the Pillio star compass. With your mother taken from you at childbirth and now your father perishing to an enemy, you had no blood relatives left. You were alone, stripped from the comfort of family.
You still had your tribe, but your connection to them was circumstantial. You grew up in their midst, but always felt like an outsider, a misfit who people felt forced to interact with because you were “the daughter of.”
It didn’t matter anyway.
You might not have known why your family kept on looking for the Darksaber, but now you knew why you had to search for it. It was your father’s last wish and that was enough reason for you.
“We must go,” Ashton’s voice reached your ears, but not your brain.
When you didn’t respond, he slowly approached you, kneeling by your side.
“Hey, I know this is hard, but we are really running out of time,” his firm arm wrapped around your waist to help you stand up.
Your knees trembled like a newborn qartuum but managed to stay upright on the soles of your feet. Taking a deep breath, you nodded.
“We need to leave Nevarro. It’s just a matter of time until our covert is discovered. They’ll come looking for him,” your head tilted in your father’s direction, voice flat and emotionless now. Stretching your back, you put distance between you and Ashton. “You find somewhere safe in the Outer Rim to lay low for a while. I need to see this done once and for all.”
“This what, exactly? You heard the same thing I did. Gideon crushed it. It’s over. We can finally live our own lives, find a home, settle down,” he muttered, a gloved hand looking for yours yet not finding it. He sounded so hopeful.
“I know what we heard. But my father… he thinks― thought it may be a ruse. I have to try, Ash. I can’t just leave this life behind, as if everything I’ve done has meant absolutely nothing,” you replied between gritted teeth, frustrated.
“Don’t waste any more years of your life on a wild goose chase, please. Let’s go back to the others. We can―” his hand finally found yours, lacing your fingers.
You looked down at your intertwined hands. It just felt odd, out of place even. Ashton was nothing more than a brother in arms to you.
You shook your head no, pulling your hand from his, breaking the contact, and looked at him directly in the eyes.
“No, Ash. There’s no “we” here. You do what you must, and so will I, simple as,” you rejected the unspoken offer, seeing the hurt consuming his blue eyes.
“What makes you think you can do this alone? Thousands of people have tried for centuries,” he quickly tried a different tactic, but his reproach unfazed you. “Let me come with you at least.”
“No. Our people need you to lead them into this new lifestyle, Ashton,” you refused, not even giving his proposal a second thought. “And you just made it clear, this is not the life you want, but it’s the one I do. Now go.”
Ashton pressed his lips together in frustration, gobsmacked by your bluntness. He’ll be fine, he’ll recover, you thought to yourself when you saw the pain of your rejection finally dawning on him.
“Have it your way then,” and with that, he left.
The compass weighed heavy on your hand and in your heart. But you couldn’t afford distractions nor being delayed by people. Not this time.
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19 ABY
Weeks turned into months. And months into years. Eight, to be exact.
The passage of time was unfaltering, but so was your determination. Despite the many dead ends, the several disappointments and the near misses, you never stopped looking for the Darksaber.
There were days, however, that it all felt like an impossible task, that you truly believed that Moff Gideon had destroyed it. You couldn’t accept it though, not when you had spent eight more years hunting it down. It still had to exist. Right?
It was hard keeping the spirits up with no company to hear you vent your frustration. You had started talking out loud to yourself, your voice bouncing off the metal walls of your spacecraft.
Some days you regretted rejecting Ashton’s offer. The man had been nothing but kind to you, loyal too. You had your suspicions about his true intentions, but you never really saw him as anything more than a friend. You hoped that after all this time, he would have found someone who reciprocated him. Ash was a good man and deserved better than what you could have offered him. What you both wanted were two completely different things, incompatible ― he wanted a quiet life, you had preferred an adventurous one.
Given the same option today, however, you were not so sure of what you would have chosen.
Toying with the star compass, you looked through the windshield of the cockpit. Jumping through hyperspace at the speed of light always put you at ease ― the flashing of light as you passed through it left a rainbow of blue hues. The static noise was so calming, you relaxed into your seat.
Your attention returned to the device on your hand. Opening it again, you eagerly watched the metal semicircle twinkle, reflecting off the colours from the Hydian Way. It had not moved for a while, so you had set the course in the direction it pointed towards.
Unsure of the way it was taking you to, you had learnt to just let it take you where it pleased. Like a bantha following its herd on the vast, arid lands of Tatooine, your life for the past eight years had been reduced to following the hands of the star compass, and nothing else. And now, like every single time before, you would wind up in the middle of the great wide somewhere. Or nowhere.
Even if your eyes hadn’t been lazily transfixed on the lodestone, you could not have missed the louder buzzing it was emitting. You rapidly sat up on your seat, your thumb hovering over the stone while your heart jolted up to your throat. As the humming increased, the black plasma inside swirled and radiated a white, shimmering glow.
Only once had you seen it do something like that before, right before finding out that the Darksaber was supposedly destroyed by Gideon. You thought yourself so close to your objective in a stroke of sheer luck, you all had rushed towards the direction it marked and found absolutely nothing.
With blood drumming in your eardrums and heartrate spiking, you faced the panel of your starfighter and touched a few buttons in a trained dance of movements. Then you pulled a lever, and a sudden jerking motion stopped the spaceship on its tracks, easing out of hyperspace.
Back flattened against the back of your padded seat, you squinted your eyes to see where you were. It took you a good moment to recognise the worlds in front of you. But that couldn’t be, made no sense at all. Furrowing your brows, you looked down at the scope in front of you.
No, you were not mistaken. That was Mandalore and one of its moons, Concordia. The compass was vibrating so loud now, you had to close the lid to contain it. Did a double take on the scope, then back out to space.
You knew the story of what had happened here fifteen years ago ― Mandalore had become uninhabitable after the Night of the Thousand Tears. The Empire had made sure of it by brute force and unfair use of fusion bombs and rays, which reportedly left the surface of the planet crystallised and its atmosphere poisoned. No one who had ventured had ever returned, or so the legend went.
The compass hummed louder, still pressed between your hands, as if compelling you to decide, and to do it now. It couldn’t be that the Darksaber had found its way back to its homeworld. It completely defied common sense, the laws of space itself.
Concordia, on the other hand, was more promising, you thought. The best choice out of the worst possible options. Safest too. Probably.
Setting course towards the moon, the spacecraft slowly trudged forward. A loud sputtering sound coming from the thrusters almost made you jump, quickly followed by the incessant beeping sound of an alarm.
“Thrusters stabilizers compromised. Negative power couplers overheating,” the robotic, monotonous voice advised you.
Then your astromech droid, a yellow trimmed R3-D3 unit, started screeching so loud through your headset, you had to remove them.
“Fuck!” you exclaimed, taking complete manual control of the helm.
If the couplers didn’t cool down, you only had minutes until these completely overheated, causing an explosion.
Weighing your options, you let go of an expletive. Mandalore was closer, but you feared that the moment you entered its atmosphere, your starfighter, and you inside it, would combust to death. Concordia was further, which meant the possibility of exploding before reaching it was very high.
You were fucked either way. Both were evils, none the lesser.
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“Alor (boss), something has entered the atmosphere,” Nau’ul, his protocol droid, announced in perfect Mando’a, with a metal finger pointing out the window.
Din’s brows knitted together, not that anyone could see with his helmet on. His attention drifted to the direction Nau’ul was indicating. The wrinkles between his eyes pronounced as his head tilted.
A small spaceship had breached the atmosphere of Mand’alor, appearing through the greyish clouds with a burning tail following it as it rapidly plummeted towards the surface, leaving a smoky halo behind.
With muscles tensed, Din got up from the chair and walked to the floor-to-ceiling window, trying to catch a better glimpse of the type of aircraft that dared to break his peace.
It couldn’t be the New Republic, and he hoped to hell it wasn’t an Imperial ship either. Everyone thought Mand’alor was a thing of the past, a barren planet harbouring no life.
He had thought so too before finding himself adrift in space, injured within inches of his own death. Crippled as he was, his Razor Crest survived the bumpy ride and even bumpier landing, all thanks to the droids aboard. The same droids that had managed to nurse him back to health. Or, close to, anyway.
Through the visor of his damaged helmet, Din eagerly saw the spaceship disappear between the dense foliage and slab stones, nearby the Mines. He waited and hoped to see a column of dense smoke towering above the vegetation, but that vision never materialised. There had been no crash, at least not a major one. Which meant that, whoever was commandeering the ship, had probably survived.
“Fuck. Where’s Mrs. Kri’gee?” he turned around to face Nau’ul.
The protocol droid lifted his arms above his head, running towards the door, panicking.
“Mrs. Kri’gee! Mrs. Kri’gee! Where are you? You’re urgently needed! Report immediately!” the high pitch tone of his robotic voice almost pierced his eardrum.
Din stuck a gloved fingertip in his ear canal and wiggled it to ease the pressure building up in there. Nau’ul was too dramatic and too loud for being a mere droid.
He had not even turned the corner into the main hallway of his decrepit abode, that Mrs. Kri’gee appeared in front of them. Nau’ul got the jumpscare of his life, one of his hands landing on the metal breast piece where a heart should be had he been truly human.
“Mrs. Kri’gee reporting, jatne vod (sir),” replied the IG-series assassin droid, one of her hands flying to her temple to salute him. “How can I be of service?”
“We seem to have visitors. Follow me, gedet’ye (please),” and with no further ado, Din walked almost blindly through the maze of corridors, then down the lift, until the cold breeze greeted him.
The temperature outside was almost freezing, especially in winter. This winter was chillier than usual too, so Din and his droids only came out when it was strictly necessary. Even after all this time, it still surprised him how glacial it was out there. With not even a tiny patch of skin uncovered, Din could still feel the biting cold clinging onto his beskar armour, seeping in through the smallest nook it could find. It could clutch around the bones easily, freezing you in place in a matter of minutes.
Not that he could tell the difference anyway, considering how fucking cold he felt under his skin. How icy it was inside of him, a never-ending snowstorm waging war on his numb heart.
Perhaps he shouldn’t hurry ― if he slowed down enough, and with a bit of luck, the unwanted guests might perish to the unforgiving cold of wintery Mand’alor.
With Mrs. Kri’gee on his heels, Din moved through the terrain as if he was one with it. After many years, he knew the topography as if it was the palm of his hand. Where he could step and where he couldn’t. What paths to avoid at specific times, and which ones were safe to hike, always mindful of the creatures who had withstood the Great Purge.
He might not have many things, but free time was definitely one of them, which allowed him to explore this world he had called home for the last eight years. There weren’t many pastimes in Mand’alor when he was the only human inhabiting it. Maybe that was why he had renamed the droids with more human-like names, to feel less lonely ― only if he could truly feel something.
The emptiness within him had only grown with every passing year on the planet. The curse that ran through his veins had slowly overtaken him, leaving an ever-growing void in his chest. Din could not remember the last time he felt anything ― joy, contempt, happiness, anger, hope, despair. Nothing.
He was an empty carcass, a non-sentient monster merely existing. Sometimes he wondered what the point of it all was, not because of an emotional response but because of pure boredom. But then his eyes would fall on the source of his misfortune, a brutal reminder of how he came to be where he stood, and the lingering questions would vanish. This was the way, his way.
And if that wasn’t enough, he also had to deal with the other side of the coin.
Din trudged along the faded path, now overridden by vegetation, to the Mines. His magnetised boots helped him find his footing more than once, sharp and loose rocks making it difficult to remain vertical. Mrs. Kri’gee, on the other hand, had no issues whatsoever.
Fifteen minutes later, they reached their destination near the Mines, close to a cliff. The lush bushes and thick trees blocked the sight at first, but Din found the perfect spot to stalk the unwelcomed visitors. Down on his knees and through a gap between the leaves, he made out the shape of a T-65B X-wing starfighter ― a pretty old one, at least twenty years old. It could have well served during the Galactic Civil War.
The starfighter could only carry the pilot and an astromech droid, which meant he only had to deal with one sentient being. Could have been worse, Din thought. The prospect of being found didn’t sit well with him though, unsure of why this person had found themselves stranded in Mand’alor, out of all the fucking planets in the Outer Rim.
The Mandalorian tilted his head, trying to get a better look at the person on the other side of the ship ― they were sat on a flat rock with their back towards him, knees propped up, elbows placed on them and crouched forwards. Din stuck his head out just enough to look over their shoulder, good eye squinting ― there was an astromech droid lying in front of them. By the looks of it, it had been fried to death, still sparkling and smoking a little.
Mrs. Kri’gee laid low behind him, still but ready to accept a command. Din waved a couple of signs to the IG-series assassin droid, and it moved silently, gracefully as a loth-cat, to reposition itself northwards, facing the target.
The Mandalorian kept his fist closed, indicating Mrs. Kri’gee to wait, when he saw the person standing up, removing their helmet and taking in a deep, exaggerated breath. It was the side profile of a woman in a bright orange spacesuit, human as far as he could tell. Din’s eyebrows furrowed under the visor, confused as to what could possibly have guided her to this inhospitable planet.
Perhaps he had been alone for too long, only the droids keeping him company for almost a decade, but the sight of you unsettled him. Had he been able to feel something, he was sure an uncomfortable weight would have grounded his stomach.
Kaysh cuyi mesh’la (she is beautiful), he thought ― a simple, objective observation a man could make with only half a vision.
Your hair shined even when the sky was gloomy; your big, bright eyes sparked with frustration; your plump lips fell into a flat line before smacking them with disapproval at your wasted andromech droid. Your fingers curled into your hips while one of your feet tapped the crystallised ground underneath nervously.
“Well, I’m not dead yet, so I guess the air is breathable,” you talked to yourself out loud, sounding almost disappointed. “Stinks like a swamp though, ugh.”
That was a good observation from your part. Stupid, but good. What was your plan if it wasn’t? Suffocating to death? Bit reckless if you asked him. And yes, the sulfuric smell coming off a bog nearby was not great, but there were worse places in Mand’alor to find yourself in. He knew damn well.
He eyed you for a little longer, Mrs. Kri’gee lying in wait. He didn’t need to kill you yet, first he needed to find out why you were here and if you were part of a larger group ― if there was a remote possibility of someone looking for you, he had to know.
Din signalled to Mrs. Kri’gee to come out of hiding but to not attack yet. And so she did promptly. The droid walked out in front of you, startling you so bad you almost fell backwards.
“Identify yourself,” his droid asked you.
You snorted, hand slowly moving backwards towards the blaster pistol in your holster.
“You identify yourself, you little piece of― metal,” you bit your tongue back.
“Nicknamed Mrs. Kri’gee by my Alor. IG-11 assassin droid. Serial Number 730X21G. Manufactured by Holowan Mechanicals in 1 ABY. First assigned to―”
“Alright, alright. Whatever,” you scoffed, fingers curling around the grip of your gun. “What is a droid like you doing here anyway?”
While you were distracted chatting to Mrs. Kri’gee, Din had come out of his hiding place, heavy boulder on hand. Stealthy as a predator, he raised his arm above your head and smashed the rock against your skull with no hesitation at all.
You plummeted to the ground instantly, rendered unconscious in a split second. Towering above you, Din walked around your body and crouched down in front of you. His gloved fingers moved a few strands of silky hair out of the way, following the tiny stream of blood dripping down your temple. The wound wasn’t too bad ― he was sure you’d survive the blow.
“Pick her up,” he commanded the droid, who willingly complied.
In a matter of seconds, Mrs. Kri’gee was carrying you over the shoulder, as if you were a light sack full of gloomroots.
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What a banging headache. You were barely able to string two thoughts together.
Eyelids heavy, you did your best to open your eyes. It took you a couple of attempts, but you finally got there. Vision still burry, your pupils widened to adapt to the darkness surrounding you.
The room you were in was all rough, square edges. It reminded you od the inside of a spacecraft with all those panels on the walls. Here though, the cables were hanging out of the electrical panels, snapped and peeled. The scarce futuristic, metal furniture dotted around was broken and upside down everywhere ― the whole space was derelict, abandoned.
It has to be, because this is Mandalore, you suddenly remembered where you were before you lost consciousness. And how did you faint, anyway? How did you get here? Was it the freaking droid?
With a pitiful groan, you tried to reach the back of your head, where the pain was radiating from. To your dismay, your hand didn’t budge one inch. Confused, you looked down and around you, only to find a sturdy syntherope tethering you to the chair you were sitting on.
“What the varp!” You exclaimed, fighting the fetters to no avail.
You rubbed your hands together in the hopes to loosen the grip and slide one hand out, but whoever bound you, had tightened the rope really well. Did that stop you though? No, not one bit. You tried and tried and tried until the skin on your wrists was raw.
You were in the middle of attempting to break free when the creaking noise of the door made you still in place, half hoping to see the assassin droid.
Instead, a Mandalorian walked into the room, and you immediately ceased your endeavours. With a droid you could deal, but with a sentient being… and even worse, a Mandalorian out of all the fucking possibilities.
By the shape of his armour and predatory gait, you could tell he was a man, around five feet twelve. He wore a black body stocking covered by different metal pieces ― vambraces, shoulder pauldrons, breastplate, thigh and shin guards, and kneepads were all made of unaltered beskar. The shiny patina indicated that the alloy had been polished but not painted, as most Mandalorians would have them.
But what struck you as odd was his helmet. Manufactured with the same polished beskar, a black visor protecting his eyesight, you noticed the big crack that ran diagonally from the bottom left, all the way to his right temple. The transparisteel of the visor had also been damaged. It all had been welded back together, albeit by a novice hand.
You stiffened your back as he approached without exchanging one word. Your gaze followed his every movement, wary of the man in front of you. Your tribe instilled on all its members a gut-churning hatred for Mandalorians, although such strong feeling never really deepened within you.
Always mouthing your curiosity, your constant questions as a child were never well received by your tutors. Even your father had a hard time convincing you to hate someone irrationally. It just wasn’t in your nature to hate for the sake of it.
However, the Mandalorian in front of you… well, that was a slightly different story. The bastard had kidnapped you and had the guts to stop in front of you, arms folded, and head tilted. As if you just happened to be there, disturbing his peace.
“Release me now,” you demanded, narrowing your eyes as you leaned forward on your chair. “I’ve done nothing wrong.”
A stony silence ensued, leaving you wondering if he was mute.
“Why are you here?” His voice was distorted by the speech scrambler integrated in his helmet.
Repressing a taunting jeer, you stared him right in his eyes ― where you assumed they were, anyway. When he didn’t respond, your eyebrows scowled.
“Are you, like, for real, man?” You couldn’t hide your incredulity. “It’s obvious I don’t want to be here. I didn’t mean to land on this forsaken planet. For all I knew I was about to die, I thought it was uninhabitable! I actually meant to go to Condordia―”
“Why would you go to Concordia? You’re not Mandalorian. Obviously,” he interrupted you, his hand waving up and down in front of you almost scornfully, pointing out your plain clothing.
“I― Well, that’s none of your business, actually. Look― Sorry, what’s your name? I didn’t catch it before you kidnapped me,” you asked with a pinch of rancour tarnishing your voice.
“I haven’t kidnapped you,” he quickly replied defensively. “Just Mando.”
“Okay, Just Mando. Look, you let me go and we both can pretend none of this ever happened. I go on my merry way and you― well, you stay here, doing whatever it is you do,” coming to think of it, you also had questions. You cocked your head, “What are you doing here anyway? When did Mandalore’s atmosphere become breathable again? I thought the planet was completely ruined after the Great Purge.”
“For considering yourself a hostage, you sure ask too many questions. And it’s none of your business, actually,” he snapped back throwing your own words at you with a snarky edge to his voice. “You and the whole universe think Mand’alor is unliveable, and it will remain like that for as long as I live, at least,” his tone turned sombre. “You ain’t going anywhere, I’m afraid.”
His last words shocked you. What did he mean you were not going anywhere? Of course you were. You couldn’t stay here; you had a mission to complete. And Just Mando didn’t seem to be the best company either, the man was so dispassionate you were sure he had a pole up his ass.
“Wait, wait, hold on one varping second. Let’s not rush into making stupid decisions, shall we? I get it, you want to be left alone for all eternity, don’t want anyone to disturb you. I won’t tell a soul you’re here, I give you my word,” you stumbled over your words, panicking at the perspective of not leaving this planet. “Please, I can’t― There are people looking for me,” you lied.
You had not been in touch with your tribe for weeks now. And by tribe, you meant Ash. He was the only one you had been communicating with over the last eight years. Life had been hectic, and you were never the best at keeping in touch.
“Then I’ll kill them if they come looking,” he shrugged, matter-of-factly.
“Wow, okay. Calm down. No need to threaten my people,” you tried to diffuse the situation, although Just Mando seemed pretty calm.
“And just so you know, I’ve just come back from where you landed. I’ve destroyed your engine and the navigation console, so you ain’t going nowhere,” he unfolded his arms, lacing his gloved fingers on his back, quite the measured gesture.
You glanced up at him incredulous, mouth agape while your lungs emptied. You were stranded here, forever, with him. The magnitude of his words had still not dawned on you, when a faster thought made its way through to the surface.
The star compass. Had he found it? Had he destroyed it too? Not that it would be useful here, but it was the last memento you had of your late father. Not that you could ask, anyway.
“Why… why would you do that?” Your trembling voice almost gave way to desperation as you leaned back against the chair.
You blinked fast to tame your feelings, all bravado leaving your body soft and boneless. For once you were speechless, your eyes searching for his under the damaged visor. But you only saw your reflection on the transparisteel, his pose not budging at all.
“Please, Mando. Tell me you’re lying. Tell me my X-wing was not the only way out of this forlorn planet?” You begged, a dense knot forming in your throat, collapsing your airway.
“It is. It was,” he corrected himself. “I can’t let you leave. I don’t trust you nor your word. This way, I make sure you have no other option than staying here for as long as you live. Death is the only way out of here.”
You deflated on the chair, looking at him in disbelief, almost unable to breathe. Although his voice was warped by the modulator, there was no emotion in it. He spoke as if talking about the damn weather, not like he had just clipped your wings forever ― literally.
“I― What… Why are you behaving like a fucking monster? Don’t you have feelings?” There was no edge to your question, you were past subtleties now.
He shrugged again, unbothered.
“‘Cause I am. And I don’t,” was his cryptic answer before turning on his heels and leaving you alone with your thoughts.
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The door slammed behind him a bit too forcefully for his liking ― a reminder that he would need to ask Ca’nara to grease the hinges. Din then put the latch down to ensure the door could not be opened from the inside.
Without another thought in his mind, he turned around and almost crashed into Nau’ul.
“Master?” asked the protocol droid, dubious, one finger lifted in the air to draw his attention.
“What?” he replied, exasperated. Din just wanted a moment alone ― that conversation had burnt the last energy he had reserved for socialising. If it wasn’t because he could harbour no feelings, one could say he was socially drained already.
“Since the girl is going to be with us for quite some time, I was thinking that you might want to offer her a more comfortable room…” Nau’ul suggested.
The damn droid was more human than he was. Din had not even thought about moving you a different place within his derelict fortress. He had made the once royal prison his home, suspended off the ceiling of Sundari’s bio-dome, or what remained of it. A suitable place for a worthy character like him.
Din just stared at him, weighing his words. Did he have to care about the needs of his captive? She’s not my captive, just a… lifelong visitor, he quickly corrected himself.
“Then again, maybe not,” Nau’ul quickly retracted, dropping his hand to one side, mistaking his silence.
Fuck, I should have thought that, not the droid, he almost reprimanded himself. After so many years in his self-imposed exile, Din had really lost all touch with his humanity. Solitude, along with the curse that plagued his veins, were to blame.
With a grunt, he turned on his heels, unbolted the door and walked right back in, coming to a halt behind you with just a few strides.
“What are you doing?” you asked in a small voice, sniffling.
You had been crying and were now trying to hide it, show him you were unbreakable. He should have felt like a dick but didn’t. Couldn’t, really.
He knelt behind you and removed his vibro-knife from one of his pockets. The blade hummed, vibrating, when it got activated and Din cut you loose, restoring the blood flow to your hands.
“I’ll show you to your room,” was his only explanation to your question.
“My room? But I thought…” the doubt in your words slightly angered him. A fleeting feeling.
Anger? That’s new, he thought, eyebrows momentarily furrowing under the helmet.
“You wanna― you wanna stay here?” he muttered, teeth almost gritting.
“No,” you hushed, wide eyes looking up at him when he walked around the chair to face you.
Unsettling.
“Then follow me.”
Turning on his heels, Din made his way to the door, hoping you would follow. And you did, possibly because you had nowhere else to go.
The royal prison was a cross-shaped structure with several floors. Most of it was completely abandoned, except for the last two levels where he had accommodated himself in this senseless life he lived. The height gave him vantage point, with a good view of the surrounding buildings and further afield.
If it was for him, he would live between wreckage and filth, but his droids had made it their purpose to make the prison somewhat liveable. Not that he cared.
Din looked over his shoulder for one second to see you rub your wrists, eyes focused on the floor. Red lines were imprinted on your skin and for a brief second, he wondered if he had secured the syntherope a bit too tight.
Oh well.
He walked you all the way through a maze of corridors until you reached an elevator which was already waiting to take you up. Din stepped in and then to a side ― it wasn’t too big, but there was enough room for the both of you without having to invade each other’s personal space. You reluctantly followed.
The minutes dragged; the silence heavy although he did not find it unbearable. By the way you fidgeted with your fingers, he knew you did. Despite your discomfort, Mando did not open his mouth ― better getting used to it now, he didn’t want you to think he was the talkative type.
Then a ding announced your arrival to the top floor, and you almost let go of a relieved sigh. Din glanced at you sideways but didn’t catch much of your expression ― you were on his righthand side, and his right eye was completely blind.
The floor was well illuminated, clean and free of debris. It was well looked after, pristine almost. The corridors were empty, giving the whole place a very diaphanous appearance. As you walked by his side, he pointed out a few rooms you might want to make use of.
Arriving at an intersection, Din took the east corridor, ignoring the opposite one deliberately.
“What’s on that corridor?” you asked curiously.
You were too damn perceptive. Too perceptive for your own good.
“The west wing is forbidden,” he grunted abruptly, a growl even, stopping in his tracks to face you. “Forbidden,” he repeated slowly so the words, and the threat in his modulated voice, would sink in.
His reaction took you aback, but he could see you subduing your fear. You would not let him see it ― how scared you really were. You might not want to show it, but he could sense it.
The thought of you sniffing around the west corridor should make him panic, but his reaction was a mechanical one ― once upon a time, he would have cared excessively, worryingly even, if you discovered what he was hiding. Now, however, it wasn’t that he didn’t care but couldn’t.
The reason behind it, the reason why his emotions had become sterile and why a beast lurked beneath his skin, was stashed away in the west wing.
And it was his life mission to prevent anyone from finding it.
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When Just Mando opened the door to your new cell, you were pleasantly surprised to discover it was an actual bedroom. The walls were still polished stainless steel slabs, so it wasn’t the coziest place ever, but it had a double bed with fresh linen, a nightstand, a wardrobe, a chest and one single chair. Everything was immaculate white, not one speck of dust in sight. There was another door that you assumed would lead to an ensuite bathroom.
You entered the small room and walked towards the bed. Opened the drawers of the furniture not really hoping for anything, so your eyebrows furrowed when you discovered they were packed full with clothes. Weird, but good.
With a little jump you sat down on the bed, testing its springs and overall comfortability. It was strikingly soft and smooth like a cloud, beckoning you to lie flat on your back and drift away to your dreams. You were not expecting that ― seeing how the rest of this floor was decorated (it wasn’t), you thought there would be one single spartan bed which would be hard as ironstone.
You were even amazed to see a floor-to-ceiling window. An actual, big, massive window that faced the outside world. And there were no metal bars covering it. Incredible, really, that he would trust you with one. Not that you were planning to escape, considering how desolate the planet was ― where could you go? Nowhere.
Looking up, you saw Just Mando leaning against the doorframe, arms folded while his biceps flexed against the fabric of his body stocking. He had been watching you the whole time you were inspecting the room.
Suddenly you felt the weight of his eyes on you and that made you feel skittish. You couldn’t see them, but you knew his sight would be intense, drilling and thrilling. What did he look like under that helmet? Would his expression be as impassible as his tone? Did he really not care at all or was that a façade he could afford because you couldn’t dissect his face?
“So… can I come out of my room? Or are you going to lock it too?” you asked tentatively, hands laced on your lap, challenging him with the soft curve of your raised eyebrow.
“It’ll stay locked until I know you can be trusted with freedom,” he straightened his back, hand on the doorknob.
“You call this freedom? Wow, okay,” you paused, letting that spoken thought sink in. “Is it because I asked about that corridor?”
Just Mando stilled under the doorframe, head cocked. Unknowingly, you bit your bottom lip, your teeth massaging the plump pillow underneath.
He didn’t answer.
You had had enough years of silence, the quietness of your cockpit being your only companion. Only broken by the fleeting moments when you met civilisation, you had unintentionally craved that connection. You just hadn’t realised it until you were faced with the possibility of being accompanied by someone for the rest of your life.
Even if that someone was… well, him. Guessed you would have to make do.
“You’ve already condemned me to live here with you, Just Mando, for-fucking-ever. You’ve destroyed my ship, so it’s not like I can go anywhere, can I?” you pleaded with him. “This whole planet is already my personal jail, don’t make it even smaller or I’ll go crazy.”
In your begging, you had gotten up and cut the distance between you. The tips of your shoes bumped into his weathered, leathered boots. He didn’t move, not even one inch ― completely unbothered by your proximity. Your face was so close to his helmet, the steam of your breath almost fogged up the transparisteel of the visor.
And, for a second, he seemed to consider your petition. Or so you had liked to think. You measured each other up, no one giving in or up.
“Until you can be trusted,” Just Mando remarked. The Mandalorian was the first to finally retreat, taking a step back into the hallway. “It’s up to you how long that takes.”
Flabbergasted, you looked at him in disbelief.
And then he shut the door. The click of the lock quickly followed.
Hours had gone by until you heard the door unbolt.
A different droid, an astromech one, greeted you.
“Beep boop, beep!” it happily chirped.
Luckily you knew enough Binary to unsderstand that it said, “dinner is served”.
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“I don’t get it. I’ve already had dinner. Don’t need to be here,” Din complained, arms crossed at chest level, manspreading on a chair in the dining room.
“Try to be understanding, sir. The girl has lost her freedom,” Mrs. Kri’gee almost reprimanded him.
“Least you could do is keep her some company, Alor,” Nau’ul chipped in.
Din scoffed, irritated. And such irritation surprised him. He shouldn’t feel anything but a void in his entrails.
Nau’ul picked up on his unusual display of feelings as quick as he did.
“Master… Have you thought that perhaps this girl could help you break the spell?” the protocol droid ventured, almost stammering towards the end when Din snapped his head back to look at him.
If looks could kill, Nau’ul would have dropped dead.
“Fucking nonsense. You heard the witch, the spell she cast,” Din muttered, jaw so clenched it almost hurt him. “Stop looking for solutions and just accept it. After eight years, you should have already giving up your futile hopes.”
“Someone has to keep the spirits up around here. Depressing enough as it is,” the droid retorted.
“If you allow me, Master, Elsbeth’s exact words were, ‘until you find your maker once more’, and that is up to interpretation,” Mrs. Kri’gee added.
Din remembered very well the cursed that Morgan had spitted in his face before he took possession of the Darksaber and sunk it in the witch’s belly.
I condemn you, Din Djarin, to an eternity of loss, Of emptiness, apathy and thorns. At full moons you will be at your worst, With nobody to keep you warm. You shall walk this Galaxy alone, Until you meet your Maker once more.
They still resonated inside his head, clear as the pale ale in the jug in front of him.
“It dims more and more every day, Alor. The Darksaber is losing its glow. You’ve been ignoring it for years, but I fear that if you do nothing about it, well…” Nau’ul voiced his worries, hands twisting ― a very human-like gesticulation.
Mando had spaced out, not listening to one word. He only snapped out of his trance when the door creaked, announcing Ca’nara’s and your arrival.
The bags under your eyes were screaming for some rest, which apparently had been evading you. He had given you enough hours alone to get some sleep and freshen up, so why hadn’t you? If you looked so miserable, that was entirely down to you, not him. Of that much he was sure.
Din straightened his back, sitting up properly, while Nau’ul rushed off his feet to serve you the food the droid had prepared. With a flourish of his hand, he presented you with his creation.
“It’s tiingilar, a Mandalorian stew of meat, vegetables and spices. It’s hot, very hot, be careful,” the protocol droid warned you.
From across the table, Din could have sworn he saw your eyes watering, then you blinked a few times, grabbing the spoon.
“Oh my stars, how many spices have you put in here?”
“Oh, you don’t like spicy food?”
“Well, I do, but it smells so spicy, I’m about to cry, phew!” you swept along your waterlines with your index fingers, making a point.
“Alor prefers it this way. I can prepare something else…”
“No, no. It’s fine. I’ll eat it. Thank you…?” You dragged your words, looking for a name.
“Nau’ul,” he replied. “Anything you need, please ask.”
And then all three droids disappeared from sight, leaving you both alone in the dining room.
You glanced up from your plate, eyeing him above your spoon while you blew on it to cool it down.
“Are you not eating, Just Mando?” you raised an eyebrow, inquiring.
If Nau’ul was still in the room, Din would have snarled at him. Instead, he folded arms again and shook his head no.
“I’ve already eaten,” he explained dully.
He couldn’t―wouldn’t―remove his helmet in your presence, or anyone’s. Not even his droids had seen his face in all the years they had been together. Din had been raised to follow the Mandalorian Creed and even though he was no longer part of the Bounty Hunters’ Guild, he still believed. It was intrinsic to him, to who he was. Or had been. The only thing that kept him true to himself.
“Because you can’t remove your helmet in front of me. Right?”
Din tilted his head in surprise. He did not expect you to know that. Were you acquainted with the Mandalorian culture? And if so, why? You were not one, he could tell. But what were you? Your accent was a mixture of different ones, so he could not pinpoint where you originated from.
“This is the Way,” he found himself saying. It had been a long time since those words last escaped his mouth. “Where are you from?”
“Oh, from here and there, everywhere and nowhere…” Then you took the first spoonful of the stew and started coughing almost instantly. “Fuck, this is spicy,” you whispered, tears in your eyes, as your hand lunged forward to eagerly down the drink.
Din almost smiled at your severe reaction. The corners of his lips began to curl up but quickly dissipated, his own body fighting against such act of rebellion.
“So you’re a nomad?” He asked with certain curiosity in his voice, while he leaned forward to pass you the jug full of ale to top up your drink.
“Yes. I don’t have a homeworld. I don’t even know where I was born, we moved around so much my father didn’t even remember,” you went on almost absentmindedly, pouring the beer in your glass. “What about you, Just Mando?”
“Why do you keep calling me ‘Just Mando’? It’s just Mando,” as soon as he said it out loud, he understood the joke. He pressed his lips together, slightly amused. “I see,” he mumbled.
You laughed as if it was the best joke ever. The warmth in your laughter was vivid, hearty, compelling. Like a melody it filled the air ― suddenly the room was not as bare as before. As cold either.
“So? Were you born here in Mandalore, Mando?” the smirk coiling your lips told him you were teasing him.
Din debated whether to open up or not. Whether to tell you the truth or a lie. But Nau’ul was right, if you were to spend the rest of your lives together, lying was not a good start.
“I was born in Aq Vetina, but was raised in Concordia,” was his succinct answer.
Your eyes unsuccessfully searched for his under the visor. Din could tell you wanted to press him, get more information out of him, but that was as much as he was willing to share today.
“Eat up. It’s going to get cold,” he urged you, wanting to leave so he could be alone.
“So bossy,” you whispered to yourself, rolling your eyes to the back of your head, before attacking the tiingilar.
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Nine weeks later
You turned to the next page of the book on your lap, your mind completely captivated by the story of the pages in front of you. Books were scarce in this day and age, but Mando had managed to salvage a few after years of rummaging through the rubble. This one in particular was a storybook for children ― a story about a Mandalorian fighting the Mythosaur down in the Mines.
You were immersed in it, curled up in your bed with a thick duvet and a few pillows around you. Your room was not bare anymore ― you had decorated with a few trinkets you had found in your day trips to the outside world, with Mando as your guide. The fear of the first week had slowly eased, giving way to a new sense of comfort.
Forgotten was your thirst for freedom. With the passage of time, you learnt that Mando was not joking when he first said death was the only way out. And since you didn’t want to die, you slowly had embraced this new way of life. You had made friends with the three droids and had really tried to form sort of friendship with Mando.
The Mandalorian was a tough nut to crack. He was not keen on showing emotion, so much so you even wondered if he was capable of feeling anything. You had noticed that, many a times, he relied on Nau’ul to show him how he should act or react. A droid teaching a human how to be human ― unfathomable. Perhaps all these years alone in Mandalore had taken its toll on him.
And so you liked to think that you were somewhat helping him reconnect with that side of him you thought long gone. By ‘helped’, maybe you meant ‘forced’, but Mando had thrown you in this situation, so now he had to put up with you.
The door to your room opened suddenly, startling you so bad you almost threw the book at Mando.
“One of these days you’re gonna give me a heart attack. Don’t you know how to knock?” You screeched, hugging the storybook to your chest and burying yourself under the duvet ― you were only wearing a shirt and your underwear.
“Are you not ready yet?” you had grown used to the exasperation in his voice.
“Ready for what? It’s only half seven in the morning, Mando!”
“You wanted to visit the Living Waters in the Mines and see for yourself if it really is a Mythosaur’s lair, remember? Since you don’t believe a damn word of what I say,” he scowled, still under the doorframe.
“Oh, shit! You’re right!”
How could you have forgotten? You had been insisting for over two weeks now, and only yesterday did he capitulate. You were no Mandalorian, so shouldn’t be in such a sacred place, but you managed to convince him that it would do literally no harm to anyone if you visited.
In your excitement, you jumped out of bed, forgetting you were half naked, and looked for some clothes to put on.
“I’ll… I’ll be waiting in the parlour,” he muttered and disappeared into the hallway.
Ten minutes later, you were outside, on your way to the Civic Center. As you approached this new-to-you, unprobed area, the destruction around you made your stomach churn. The Great Purge and then years of neglect painted a gruesome picture in front of you. Inside was even worse, although you couldn’t see much considering how dark it was.
You followed Mando diligently ― he had been here before, so you trusted his instinct. You stepped where he did and remained silent while you descended into the ground.
After a few more minutes, a humid, warm cave appeared in sight. There were massive pillars holding the crumbling ceiling, and piles of debris everywhere. Stairs led a path to the Living Waters below.
“This is beautiful,” you mumbled in awe, looking around you.
The place was eerie and silent as a tomb. Seeing it with your own eyes, now you could understand why people would believe in the existence of a mythological creature.
There was a plaque on a stone nearby and you got closer to read it. However, the writing was in Mando’a, so you cocked your head to look at Mando.
“What does it say?”
He walked towards you and stopped right behind you. His proximity sent a warning shiver down your spine. You ignored your body’s reaction, focusing on the words you didn’t understand.
“These Mines date back to the Age of the First Mand’Alor. According to ancient folklore, the Mines were once a Mythosaur lair. Mandalore the Great is said to have tamed the mythical beast. It is from these legends that the skull signet was adopted and became the symbol of our planet,” he relayed, his voice ricocheting between the bare walls.
“And you are sure you’ve seen it? Mandalore the Great lived, what, hundreds of years ago? In all that time, you’re telling me, you’ve been the only man to witness the rise of the beast?” One perfect eyebrow raised into your forehead, a smirk curling up your lips, as you taunted him.
Although you couldn’t see, you liked to imagine the frustration distorting his features. Lately you had wondered who the man under the helmet was, but you knew you would never find out. Mando took the Creed very seriously, too seriously.
“I did,” he replied concisely. “I don’t care if you don’t believe me.”
“And what were you doing in the water anyway? It does not look very inviting.”
“I had to redeem myself,” you could tell he hadn’t mean to tell you that, because he nervously adjusted his posture.
“Why?”
You were like a loth-wolf with a bone ― you wouldn’t let it go that easily.
“I had broken the Creed and had to atone for it,” his voice lowered, uncomfortable with the topic.
“How did you break it?”
“Will you ever stop asking so many damn questions?” he growled, evading your probing.
You lifted your hands up in the air in a peaceful gesture, but not without a subtle grin on your mouth. You loved driving him crazy, it was one of the little fun you could have in this place.
“Alright, alright.”
You bent down to grab some flat stones off the ground and practiced your stone skipping skills. That was until Mando’s big hand wrapped around your wrist, stopping you mid-throw.
“Stop that, you’re going to awaken the beast,” he snarled, pushing you close to his chest a bit too forcefully.
“Oh, come on. Gimme a break, Mando. There’s no Mythosaur, you must have imagined it.”
“There is and I didn’t,” his grip loosened, and you took the opportunity to throw another stone. “Fucking quit that attitude now,” he warned you, grabbing you by both of your wrists, your hands flush against the beskar breastplate.
Your pelvis was sweetly pressed against his, your thighs touching his. Even with the beskar pieces, you could feel all his edges, his― Shit. His manhood resting just above where slick heat was gathering in your core.
You laughed to release your own tension ― your head snapping back, exposing your neck to his eyes.
“Oh, wow. You’re serious,” you managed to say between laughs, ignoring how close you were to him. Ignoring how wet your pussy was.
“Of course I am. You don’t unders―”
The sound of water abruptly moving forced both of you to look in the direction of the pond. Something enormous had risen, taking up the whole airspace, and water cascaded down its sides.
You froze in place, your mind rushing to come to terms with what you were seeing, as you looked at the gigantic figure towering above you. The water kept falling, so you couldn’t really make the shape of the monster underneath. But in that moment, you knew Mando had not imagined jack shit. The Mythosaur was real. Very real.
Mando pushed you back and put himself between you and the imminent danger. Above his shoulder, you saw horns sticking out and a big pair of eyes staring you down. Its skin was covered in scales and small horns, giving it a very reptilian appearance. The Mythosaur was massive beyond comprehension, and you could not, for the life of you, visualise it being tamed or, worse, ridden.
Time stilled and so did the beast. Its eyes were transfixed on you ― no, on Mando. As if they were measuring each other up, as if they were communicating somehow. Since that was impossible, it was obvious you were imagining things.
Before any of you could react, your heart pounding manically and your breath hitching, the beast went back down below the water level, and a massive wave dashed towards you. Within a matter of seconds, the Mythosaur was gone, and you and Mando were soaked to the bones.
Mando reacted before you did, turning around and forcing you to walk back.
“Let’s go, now! Move!”
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In the safety of your bed, after a hot, steamy shower, you let your mind drift back to the moment in time where Mando had held you close to his chest earlier that day. How your body had unwillingly behaved to his closeness, how you ached for him to reach below your hips, right between your thighs…
With a soft moan, you gave in to the desire that had been pooling low in your belly for a while now. Your fingers dipped under your underwear, finding that sweet bundle of nerves in your wet slit. Your index tapped at your clit a few times until you stroked it ― electricity shooting up your spine.
That felt so good, you did it again and again and again, while your brain came up with different scenarios where Mando was giving you hell. With half-lidded eyes and lips parted, you smothered the beating nub with your thumb, two other fingers finding the entrance to your pussy and submerging in your wet heat.
You picked up a relentless pace, imagining they were Mando’s thick fingers, as the first orgasm in a long while started to build up inside you. Your own hand made you whimper, teeth sinking in your bottom lip so hard you almost drew blood. Your back arched involuntarily, stroking your pulsing clit more harshly now, your fingers reaching further in.
The squealing noise of the door opening alarmed you, your orgasm evaporating into thin air. You just about managed to remove your tantalising hand from your panties and throw the duvet above you. Panicking, you looked at the door.
Mando was under the frame, so still you thought he was a statue. You had tried to conceal what you were doing, but the rigidity of his posture told you he had seen enough.
Your cheeks reddened, your face on fire at the realisation of being caught masturbating. By none other than the protagonist of your wet dreams.
“Mando! I told you to fucking KNOCK!” You screamed at him from under the quilt. “You can’t just walk in like that!”
When you didn’t hear the door close ―because you were not expecting an apology from him―, you peeked above the duvet.
The Mandalorian had not moved one inch, and you really feared he had become immobile forever. But the tent on his groin showing through his body stocking told you otherwise.
And then he walked into the room, closing the door behind him. It was the first time he had trespassed the doorframe, you noticed. Butterflies filled your stomach and your lungs as he approached the bed you were lying on, your widened eyes looking for his unsuccessfully ― always unsuccessfully.
Mando didn’t say one word as he removed his gloves, coming to a halt by your side with his shins pressing against the bedframe. When they dropped to the floor, your eyes drifted right up at him, searching for clues, anything that could be crossing his mind.
His naked fingers were the first time you saw his skin, a bit of him. He was real, and he was right in front of you, caressing your cheek. You found yourself closing your eyes and leaning on the palm of his hand ― a tender gesture amidst your unresolved sexual desire.
Mando tilted his head, and you understood. An unspoken petition that you willingly granted. Driven by your lust, you scooted over to the other side of the bed, making room for him, dragging the duvet with you.
“Nuh-uh,” he clicked his tongue as he knelt on the mattress after having kicked his boots.
He yanked the duvet off you, exposing you to him with just your shirt and underwear.
You leaned back against the mountain of pillows and looked at him doe-eyed ― then your sight followed his right hand as it landed on your pubic bone. You pressed your lips into a fine line, swallowing a moan at his touch. His fingertips traced your wet slit over your panties.
“What were you doing, hm?” he husked, his long finger dragging against the garment.
“I, uh… well…” you stammered, unable to look for the words.
“Were you touching yourself?”
“Mhmm,” you nodded.
“Were you close?” a sliver of care transpired through his modulated voice.
“Yes,” you cooed.
“Sorry, mesh’la (beautiful). Let me help you with that,” he offered at the same time his fingers dunked under the waistband of your panties.
You melted into the mattress, audibly moaning, when he stroked you. Your eyes shut to focus on the pleasure his fingers were expertly working on you, sliding through your slit a few times, from your thudding clit to your dripping hole ― your clit hitching between his fingers every time he traced them back up.
He worked your flesh with his bare digits, and after a few minutes, his index and middle fingers went back down to your hot entrance. He tempted you with the tips but didn’t go in ― you were tiptoeing on the precipice of your pleasure.
You whimpered, annoyed.
“Please, Mando―”
“Din. Call me Din, mesh’la,” he hummed, the tip of his finger circling your entrance.
“Please, Din,” you blurted out, eyes flying open and transfixed on his visor, begging.
You let go of a pitiful groan when Din―you liked how his name rolled off your tongue―finally gave you what you wanted, what you needed. Two of his thick fingers dove in your seeping pussy, slightly parting your walls in preparation―hopefully, if you were lucky―for his dick.
First slow, then a devilish rhythm his fingers imparted on you. The orgasm quickly built up again, Din’s dexterity beckoning you to climb to the hilltop. And you did, you let yourself feel all the pleasure he was giving you until it was too much, your clit raw and overstimulated by his precise thumb. You reached the top of the mountain and jumped into the abyss underneath. The wave of your climax washed over your, drowning you ― your cunt spasming around his fingers while your knees pressed together.
When you opened your eyes again, all tearful due to immensity of your frenzy, you were relieved to find that Din had released his throbbing erection through the zipper in his body stocking―you didn’t have the patience right now to unclasp all the armour pieces, you needed him now.
The sight of his engorged dick made your mouth water. The girth and the length of it should have made you flinch, but instead it made your pussy wet itself a bit more. It had the perfect size to fill your insides to the brim. Din’s hand moved up and down on his shaft, slowly pumping himself although he was already hard.
You lifted your hand towards his manhood, and he removed his to let you touch him ― for a second you were fascinated by the soft swaying of his cock. Then you wrapped your fingers around it and Mando grumbled, sitting on his heels, manspread for you as a tasty offering. He was a sight to see ― knelt and sat on his heels on the mattress, fully clothed, helmet on, armour hugging his body, and his erection peeking out through the zipper, leaky and throbbing just for you.
Giving him a few pumps, you looked up at him with a smirk. And before he could complain or stop you, you came closer to him and gave the plump head a lick, then sealed your lips around his leaking glans.
The groan that bubbled up his throat spurred you on to bob your head down, taking half of his pulsing length in your mouth.
Din’s hand tugged at your hair abruptly, pulling you off his twitching dick.
You glanced up at him confused.
“I can’t―I don’t think I can take a blowjob without blowing my load, mesh’la. I need to fuck you now,” he was honest with you.
It was understandable. He had been stuck here for at least eight years, which meant that he had not laid with a woman for at least as long. You would have lost your mind too if someone hadn’t touched you in that time.
“Come on then, fuck me, Din,” you mumbled, laying back down on the pile of pillows so your upper body was propped up.
You spread your legs, making room for him. Din swiftly shifted, dragging himself into position.
It was a fucking sight; one you had been dying to see. And he was finally there, all cozy in between your thighs. He parted your legs, resting the back of your knees on his shoulders. He pushed your panties to a side, leaving you completely exposed.
You couldn’t see, but you knew his eyes were focused on the prize―your damp, puffy folds, clit twitching and hole begging.
“Been wanting some pussy for a while now,” he confessed in a grumble, head tilted back when the tip of his veiny cock slipped up and down your damp furrow.
“Here I am, take what you need.”
How altruistic of you.
His mushroom, precum-covered head caught on your slick entrance and Din bucked his hips a little, only the tip smoothly going in. Your heartrate spiked, your walls imploring for the full length of him to clench on. And then, Din thrusted in harshly, pushing his cock in down to the hilt in one smooth jolt. You both howled in unison at the intrusion ― his a deep, guttural moan, yours a high-pitched one.
Mando held onto your knees on his shoulders as he started with the slow sway of his hips impacting on the back of your thighs, building the perfect pace. His dick dragged along the right spot inside you as he jackhammered you into the pillows, another orgasm gathering in your core. Din’s rhythm became frantic, frenzied, to the point where he had to let go of your knees and lean forward, his hands holding onto the rattling headboard.
Mando fucked you hard, drilling you like a man starved. You could feel him stuffing you full, his hard dick disappearing between your swollen, greedy pussy lips. Reaching up, you held onto his arms above you, fingers wrapping around his elbows. Your body rocked up and down on the bed below him with the force of his unrestrained charges.
Your cunt couldn’t take it anymore ― it contracted around his girth, announcing your second climax, which quickly overtook your senses. With stars in your vision, you wailed his name, now fisting the bedsheets as you came, a never-ending wave making your twitch under him uncontrollably.
“Fuck, I… Fuck,” he growled, his hips bucking and stuttering erratically at the sight of your fucked-out expression.
He was close, you knew by the way his dick constantly pulsed inside you ― he just needed a bit of prodding. That was your signal to clench your walls around him, squeezing him as hard and snug as you could, clamping on his thudding cock, never wanting to let him go.
That was his undoing ― you felt Din’s warm, thick spend painting your inner walls, his steely cock convulsing with the last waves of his release.
When you opened your eyes, you saw Din between your legs, his dick still buried inside you as it softened. The inside of his visor was fogged up and you doubted he could see much.
“I didn’t mean to come inside, I was gonna pull out―”
“It’s okay,” you cut him off. He didn’t need to worry about that.
His helmet tilted, but whatever question lingered in his mind, he didn’t ask.
His thumb lightly pressed your relaxed clit with gratitude, massaging it softly, before he pulled out and your pussy released his shaft. That gentle stroke ignited your nerve endings, slowly coming back to life. His thumb then went down, gathering the cum your pussy was releasing, and shoved it back inside you.
You bit your bottom lip to stop a needy moan.
“Wanna go again?” you asked, grinning. Offering.
Din laughed. He fucking laughed. You had never heard him laugh before.
“Sure do, but I need a minute, mesh’la.”
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Every night for the next two weeks Din found himself stranded in the corridor leading to your room, like a lost, thirsty man looking for water in the harsh desert of Tatooine.
The internal struggle was always the same ― he shouldn’t seek you because, after all, you were his prisoner. You were stuck here with him because he had forced you to, giving you no other choice. Sure, he had not imposed his presence on you―quite the opposite, in fact―but it still seemed wrong to take advantage of you like that.
But then he would see you come out of your room, almost as if you knew he was marooned there, and would approach him with caution. Willingly you would take his hand and lead him to your nest, erasing any doubts he could have about your eagerness. You were as keen as he was ― fucking had become an entertaining pastime. And a calming balm for the beast within.
It was the same dance every night, without failure. And tonight had been no different, except for the hushed “I want you so badly, Din” that had dropped from your parted lips as you rode the last wave of your orgasm, a blissful expression softening your features.
As he stood outside of your door, back towards it, Din wondered what you had truly meant. Was it just a benign slip of tongue or was there something else behind it? He hoped for the first, because he couldn’t afford the second.
Feeling something―anything―was out of the question. Even if he wanted to, didn’t matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t. Elsbeth had cursed him to an eternity of apathy, and it had worked ― over the curse of the last eight years, Din’s feelings had dimmed, diminished and then disappeared, while his inner monster became more powerful, feeding off his emotions like a leech sucking blood out of its host. Mando had tried to feel to keep the beast at bay ― would even make the droids try to anger him in silly competitions, but the dull sense in his chest just grew bigger and bigger, like a tumour rotting his entrails.
Din couldn’t remember what happiness felt like ― he had a barren wasteland for a heart. So cold were his insides, he even thought all his organs were covered in beskar. That was what brought him back to your room every night ― your warmth, how it would seep through the cracks of his skin, warming up a part of him that he thought dead.
Tonight, he had allowed himself to really feel your body against his ― helmet still on of course, you both had been stripped naked for the first time, your skin rubbing his, heating him up. Whether he would admit it or not, he craved you. Yearned for your warmth.
With a shake of his head, his feet finally unglued from your doorstep and sauntered towards the west wing. A single light at the end of the corridor twinkled, snuffing out the moment he stepped below it.
He swung the door open to a room he had not visited in a very long while. Din preferred to pay no mind to the source of his emotional detachment, but Nau’ul’s words had been nagging him for weeks now, an annoying reminder scratching the back of his brain.
“It dims more and more every day, Alor. The Darksaber is losing its glow.”
He had to see for himself.
The room should have been dark if it wasn’t for the light the Darksaber’s blade emitted. Din trudged towards the display stand in the middle of the empty space, where the Darksaber rested under a glass case. Two metal, U-shaped pins held the Darksaber upright.
An electrifying, white glow encased the black blade, but it was certainly fainter than what he remembered. Significantly fainter. It had taken him a few years to understand that the Darksaber was the vessel of his curse ― as his feelings dwindled and the beast grew fonder of control, so did the light of the Darksaber. He was not sure though about which one caused the other to wither away.
As he stared at it, Din pondered what would happen the day the light from the Darksaber would flicker away. Morgan had died before he could fully understand the idiosyncrasies of his malediction. At first, the frustration of the unknown had only driven him mad, especially when the full moons would bloom on the night sky, leaving him at the mercy of his curse.
The first time he had transformed, bathed by the white light of Concordia, Din thought he was dying. The burning sensation, the bones breaking and fusing back together, the stretch of his skin, the blood becoming cold in his veins and his mind spiralling out of control… He hadn’t died, but he sure wished he did. Only at dawn was he able to gain back control, so exhausted he just laid on the dirt near the Civic Center for an entire day before finding his way back to the royal prison.
Only with the insight of time did he decide it did not matter. The end was the end, and if that was the way, then he would greet it.
Din sighed, his eyes dry under the helmet. Looking around and knowing himself on his own, he carefully removed his helmet, wincing in agony, and placed it on top of the glass case. He pinched the bridge of his aquiline nose in an attempt to clear his mind, one hand resting on the glass.
Eyes shut for a long minute, he ended up fluttering them open. His reflection greeted him ― a terrible, gruesome sight, a face he almost didn’t recognise anymore. The scar that ran from the left of his chin diagonally to his right temple had distorted his features ― his chin slightly dented, the left corner of his mouth raggedy, the flesh on his upper left cheek mildly sunken around the scar, his crooked nose even more angular and his split eyebrow giving him a permanent frown. And then his right eye, completely blinded with a white discolouration covering his iris and pupil.
He could still feel the blade of the Darksaber melting his beskar helmet as Morgan pressed it against him. It hadn’t completely cut through the Mandalorian alloy, but the fire filtering through had burnt his skin, leaving an everlasting imprint on his face.
Din remembered the heat, the panic building up and the sizzling sound of his skin as it thawed like ice under the sun. The smell of burnt skill still haunted him sometimes when the helmet became too overwhelming.
The damaged tissue was thick but extremely sensitive ― every time he pulled the helmet off his head, the fabric inside would drag against the scar tissue, making him flinch in pain.
Shaking his head to release his mind from such memories, Din stared at the Darksaber for longer than intended, lost in his train of thought. For the first time in ages, he wanted to know if the curse could ever be broken.
Until you meet your Maker once more.
That had a pretty definite sentence to it. Death was the only way out.
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“I didn’t see you last night,” you mumbled, repressing the need to add an ‘again’ to the end of your sentence.
You had noticed that there were certain nights when Mando would vanish, wouldn’t visit you at all. You wouldn’t see him in the morning either and if you asked any of the droids, they were as evasive as their master.
You still didn’t know why and every time you prodded him about it, his answer was…
“Had stuff to take care of.”
You sighed, pressing your lips into a thin line. The idea of slapping him had its appeal.
“Are we still going?” you quickly changed subject, not wanting to be disappointed with him today. “I’ve not really asked you for anything in the three months I’ve been here.”
You watched his gloved fingers drum on the metallic surface, helmet tipped to one side as he considered your words. You wanted to believe that in the time you both had spent together, Din’s undaunted façade had softened a bit. His replies had become less snappy, his posture slightly more relaxed, and his hands way more caring as they canvassed your skin every night.
An invisible force had been towing you towards him, his gravitational pull irresistible. Din Djarin was a challenge to you, a puzzle you had started putting together. He strived so hard to remain indifferent, it was now an exciting game to make him feel. The only downfall? You were falling for him. Perhaps him being the only man to walk this planet had something to do with it, you had no other options. Also, you knew that fucking the brains out of each other every night would eventually lead you here.
Considering that you had a lifetime to spend on this world, letting yourself feel for Mando was something you could afford. And even if he didn’t want to show it, you were positively sure he was not as apathetic towards you as he let on.
“Alright. I don’t see the harm,” he accepted.
You mumbled a “yes!” with a smile crooking your lips as you pushed the chair back to stand up.
“I’ll be back in a minute.”
You rushed out of the room to run to yours and change. The winter was receding, but the cold was still bitter and nippy, so you decided to put on appropriate gear. A few minutes later, you darted towards the lift, where Din was already waiting.
Couldn’t help yourself, you had to smile at him, the softness of your grin reaching your eyes.
Din cleared his throat, face facing forwards to avoid your orbs meeting his.
The way down in the elevator was soundless, but you had grown used to his silence treatment. The short journey to the crashing site was as tranquil as the trip down the lift. Mando was truly a man of few words.
When you caught a glimpse of your T-65B X-wing starfighter, you overtook Din and ran towards it in excitement.
“Careful there! The ground is slippery, you’re gonna―”
Before Mando could finish his warning, you recreated what his next words were going to be: you slipped on an icesheet. Waving your arms so you wouldn’t lose your footing, you ended up falling face first. You managed to partially stop the fall with your hands. The rocks underneath slashed your winter trousers, cutting your left shin.
By the time Din had gotten to your side, you had already stood up.
“You okay?” he asked with worry in his voice.
You nodded, smirking at the preoccupation he was showing.
“Yeah,” you lied. If he knew you had hurt yourself, you would be turning around and returning home empty-handed.
“Be more careful, will you? The ship ain’t going nowhere,” he snarled once he knew you were fine.
You rolled your eyes at him before strolling to the aircraft. Your old X-wing had seen better days ― the glass of the cockpit was smashed; vegetation had grown over the body. Moss covered most of it, painting it green instead of white. When you peeked inside the cabin, you realised it was flooded, all electrics wet. It was truly done for ― if you ever had any hope of leaving this planet, it would not be aboard your X-wing.
Din stood watch as you foraged for the item you were here for. After a few minutes, you located the star compass under the seat in the cockpit, drenched. Looking over your shoulder to see where Mando was, you opened the compass and water leaked everywhere. The black lodestone was static, unmoving ― maybe it just needed to dry off. Despite how damaged it was, you hoped it would still work. You were not planning on using it, obviously, but it was a reminder of your old life, one that now seemed very far away.
You couldn’t say you missed your previous life. The constant travelling had taken a toll on you in the last few years, having almost lost sight of searching for the Darksaber. Now that your feet were back down on the ground, gravity keeping you centred, this new life was not so bad after all.
“You found it?”
“Yeah!”
You quickly clasped the lid back down and jumped out of the cockpit. Perhaps you had lied to Din about what you were really looking for, but something in you told you not to tell the truth. So, when he asked you that morning why you wanted to go back to the shipwreck, you simply lied, telling him you were looking for your family’s locket ― a relic that had been passed down for generations.
The object was small enough to pass for one. You waved it at him quickly, not really showing it to him, before you shoved it in one of the pockets in your vest. Luckily Din didn’t ask for it, otherwise he would have realised it was made of beskar.
“Let’s go back then.”
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“You’re bleeding,” Din’s fingers grabbed you by the elbow, yanking you back before you crossed the door to your room.
You looked down, having forgotten about the wound on your leg. You shrugged, downplaying it.
“It’s nothing, I’ll just take care of it now.”
“Like hell you are,” he growled with clenched teeth while dragging you inside.
He only let go of your elbow when you were by your unmade bed. Din stopped right in front of you, hands on hips. He nodded to you, commanding you to remove your trousers so he could see.
Your eyes rolled in frustration and clicked your tongue.
“It’s fine, Din. Don’t worry about it,” you dismissed him with a wave of your hand.
“I’ll decide if I have to worry or not.”
And, without prompt, he pulled down your trousers in a swift movement, leaving your legs bare. You huffed but let him help you out of them and remove your boots. Mando signalled you to sit on your bed and so you did. Din knelt in front of you, grabbing your hurt leg by the ankle until your heel was resting on his bent knee.
He inspected the wound for a minute after having removed his gloves. His fingertips burnt your skin where they ghosted over it.
“It’s not too deep, just a scratch.”
“I told you it was nothing. You have some unresolved trust issues, Din,” you joked, slightly leaning back with the heels of your hands flat on the mattress.
You couldn’t see but knew his eyes squinted under the visor.
“I’ll go get something to clean it. Wait here.”
Mando walked out and you took the chance to remove the uncomfortable coat. A minute later, he had returned with a clean rag and a small container with lukewarm water. He knelt in front of you again, grabbing your leg, and dutifully cleaned the wound.
You couldn’t help but sigh at the feathery touch of his fingers on the back of your knee. His proximity was enough to lighten your need for him. Also, being only in your underwear and a shirt while he was knelt between your legs did not help at all. Your imagination was already running wild ― and so your legs parted slightly, almost involuntarily.
Din’s attention shifted from the wound to your core. He tried to hide he was being distracted, but the helmet kept tilting to one side so he could have a better look at where your thighs met.
You chewed on your bottom lip, slick warmth pooling in between your legs.
“Din,” you hushed his name, your hand searching his so he would stop cleaning the wound.
The Mandalorian didn’t need much prodding after that. He towered above you rising to his feet, his hips at your eye level. You knew he was hard already, so couldn’t ignore the call of the siren.
With rigid steps, he walked towards the chest and placed the container dow. He scrunched the rag so the water dripped back into it. Soon enough, he was in front of you again, clean rag on hand.
“Do you trust me, mesh’la?” his modulated voice was low and husky.
You nodded vehemently.
“I want to try something different this time,” he murmured, the rag twisting in his hands. “But you gotta promise me you’ll behave for me.”
“I will,” you promised, breath hitching in anticipation.
“I’m going to blindfold you and remove my helmet. But I have only two ground rules: you can’t take it off and you can’t touch my face. At all. No excuses. Are we clear?”
A rush of lustful excitement ploughed through your veins. You found yourself nodding again, your neck hurting.
“Use your words, cyar’ika (beloved).”
“Yes. Crystal clear, Din,” you mumbled, widened, almost adoring eyes staring at him. You hadn’t missed the endearment term, although he seemed to not have noticed.
“Good,” he curled one finger at you.
You sat back up, hands laced on your lap patiently waiting as Din blindfolded you with the damp rag. He secured it with a very tight knot on the back and made sure three times that it would not go anywhere.
“If you break your promise, I’ll have to kill you,” the threat was very real, not even a hint of joke in it.
Your mouth went dry and your clit irremediably pulsed ― your pussy was already wet and warm for him. You shouldn’t get off on a death threat, but apparently Din could reduce you to a slick mess just like that.
“I-I won’t remove it. You have my word. Please.”
“Be a good girl for me and lay down on your back,” he commanded you and you happily obliged.
Your heartrate spiked as you heard Din discarding the beskar pieces over his body stocking. Maybe you were too eager, but he was taking too damn long. Then a hissing sound told you his helmet was gone.
This was fucking torture. You wanted to see him, to see the face of the man who made you wet with just a few words. It was cruel of him to impose something like this on you, such a prohibition. However, you understood what his Creed entailed and respected it.
Hated yourself right now for respecting it, but you did.
Din placed his hands on the back of your knees and lifted your legs up, the soles of your feet resting on either side of his naked hips. The warm palms of his hands caressed your ankles, massaging them briefly, before travelling up your calves and inner thighs, leaving goosebumps in his wake.
Unceremoniously, his fingers curled around the hem of your panties and pulled them down your legs; you couldn’t see but were sure he had thrown them away.
The Mandalorian exhaled audibly the moment his hands landed on your knees and pulled your legs apart. You squirmed, knowing he was devouring you with his eyes.
“Din, please, just―” you whimpered, moany and needy, anticipating.
“Shush. Don’t be so impatient, mesh’la,” he chastised you while stepping back.
That was the first time you listened to his real, manly voice. It was deep and raspy, surly yet sweet.
Your feet, no longer supported on his hips, dropped to the ground.
“Go on your fours,” he talked you through the position he wanted you in as you obeyed. “Now lean down, rest that pretty face of yours on the mattress for me.”
With your perky ass up in the air, you felt very exposed with your inner thighs pressed together and framing your swollen pussy like a pretty picture just for him.
One of his fingers traced your wet slit and you had to stop yourself from wiggling your hips until his finger was partially inside you.
“Look at her, all drippy and puffy for me. She knows what’s coming, doesn’t she? That’s why she’s so fucking wet,” he hummed, shuffling behind you.
You couldn’t see him, but you were damn sure he was on his knees at the feet of the bed.
Din placed his hands on your ass cheeks and parted them, the skin in your sticky furrow stretching while his thumbs caressed your labia. Your cunt was on full display, and you could feel the cold air of the room against your damp, sensitive skin.
“At last, I can claim her as mine,” Din whispered, his hot breath fanning on your pussy now, sending shivers up your spine.
You moaned, finally understanding what was coming.
He didn’t keep you waiting. Din’s tongue lapped your whole pussy in one go and your entire body trembled at the wet touch, his beard prickling your skin. Covering your mouth, you swallowed a pitiful whimper while your eyes rolled to the back of your skull. Mando’s broad hands squeezed your ass, grounding you, as he leaned forward again to drink from the fountain of your pleasure.
His tongue dipped in your creamy slit and stroked it slowly, deliberately loitering around your clit, but never really paying it much attention. He kissed your swollen lips, making out with them as if they were your mouth, the tip of nose intimately caressing your perineum. With the help of his fingers, he splayed open your quivering cunt, your hole accessible to the apex of his mischievous tongue.
Din licked you for minutes on end, ignoring your pulsing clit on purpose. The tension inside you coiled almost uncomfortably, so intense it would snap at any given moment. His devilish persuasion was relentless, more so when he would introduce his tongue in your very core.
You bucked your hips against his mouth, grinding. Desperate.
“Din, please, please, here,” you begged, slipping one of your hands down your belly and in between your legs.
You parted your slippery pussy lips, your clit hitching between them, showing him exactly where you wanted his goddamn tongue.
“Here, please,” you insisted, teary-eyed, at the edge of your patience.
“So impatient, mesh’la,” he chuckled behind you, still on your fours for him.
Finally, his lips latched onto your clit, and you whined out loud, pure elation running through your veins at the sweet suckling of his mouth. His teeth grazed the sensitive nub, and you saw stars behind your eyes, head slightly tilted backwards as you mewled until your throat felt raw.
Din sucked on your clit harshly at the same time two of his thick fingers found their way to your oozing hole. You screamed a resounding “fuck” at the perfect intrusion. The combination of his tongue and his digits were more than what your nervous system could take. Lick, pump, lick, pump ― the perfect rhythm making your toes curl, your pussy clench and your clit set ablaze.
The whole pussy-eating-from-the-back situation was too much ― his fingers ever so tantalising, you surrendered. Rubbing your cunt against his mouth, you moaned his name as the best orgasm of your life almost rendered you unconscious. You came on his mouth while Din just sipped from you, drinking all your discharge as if it was the last drops he would ever taste.
You could only hear your heart beating in your eardrums, all your senses overwhelmed. You were so out, you had almost forgotten the rag blindfolding you.
“You’re gonna come again for me, mesh’la,” only then did you realised his fingers were still inside you.
You panted, gathering your thoughts.
“I don’t think I can,” you mumbled, entranced.
“Oh, you can and you will,” he groaned, accepting the challenge.
And with that, his wicked lips pressed against your cunt, and he started all over again. As it turned out, he was fucking right. His tongue and his fingers were working you so well, there was no way you could resist. However, this time, there weren’t two fingers stuffed in your whole, but four. Your walls were so outstretched it should have been painful, but it wasn’t ― he had made sure to get you ready, pliant under his dutiful care.
“I wonder if you could take him. Bet you could,” Din whispered in a moment of respite.
“Huh?”
All thoughts dispersed when the second climax spread across your entire body, leaving you exhausted; a pitiful, sweaty mess on the bedsheets.
“Turn around and lay down. I’m gonna fuck you stupid,” the crudeness of his words should have made you frown but instead you smiled, completely blissed out.
Din made good on his promise. On your back and with your legs parted, you heard him moving around until he was between your thighs. Then he leaned forward, his hands on either side of your shoulders to keep his weight off you, and his hard shaft dove inside your cunt with no resistance. When he bottomed out, he snapped his hips back and then forth, until he was rutting into you like a man on death row.
Your hands held onto his back, your nails digging in his skin. You wanted to move them up and sink them in his hair so badly, your palms were itchy with longing. He had said you couldn’t touch his face; he hadn’t said anything about his hair. Hoping he wouldn’t notice your intentions, your hands drifted up his back, arriving at the nape of his neck.
So close to burying your hands in his hair, so fucking close…
“Don’t,” he growled at you, the snapping of his hips against yours unforgiving. “The fucking audacity. I. said. don’t. fucking. touch,” he punctuated every word with deep, sharp thrusts.
You winced and gasped at the depth of his dives, your mouth shaping a perfect O, back arched off the mattress below you. Every stab of his dick kissed your cervix, and you just couldn’t stop moaning uncontrollably. The mild pain quickly blossomed into ecstasy; your skin electrified with pleasure.
Suddenly you felt his mouth ghosting over yours; his unfiltered, gruffy grunts were music to your ears. You reached up, wanting to steal a kiss from him to taste his lips for the first time, but he slithered back.
“You don’t respect boundaries, do you?” Din rumbled.
His voice should have had a tinge of anger, but instead it sounded… amused?
“You have had a taste of me, it’s only fair I get something in return, Din,” you bargained breathlessly, but got no reply. “Please?”
Imploring for a measly kiss from your captor while he kept on fucking you. That had to be a new low in your book.
You couldn’t see him as he jackhammered you into the mattress, but knew he was debating. Whatever inner debate he had, the side you were banking on won.
“You keep your hands on my back at all times. Yes?” One of his hands moved to your neck, his dextrous fingers wrapping around your throat. “Or I’ll―”
“Kill me. I know. Elek, Alor (yes, Master),” you whispered in Mando’a, breath hitching.
His mouth came crashing down on yours, teeth colliding in a very messy kiss. His tongue sought yours with fervour and sucked it into his mouth. He tasted like you.
You couldn’t help but moan in midst of the sloppy kiss, your heart finally content at his small yet meaningful surrender. The grip of his hand around your neck softened but didn’t dissolve, adding another layer of excitement to his unabating thrusts.
“Gar serim, cyar’ika (that’s it, beloved). You’re so good, so fucking good for me. Warm, tight pussy always ready for me when I need her. She never disappoints,” he maundered, your brain spiralling with his praise.
Praising your cunt, not actually you, but you would take anything he would give you.
A few minutes later, the breathy groans of your making out along with the squelching sounds of your lust filled the air, quickly followed by the loud moans announcing your climaxes. Your cunt clamped on Din’s dick―a promise you’d never let him go―and he blew his load inside you. The tackiness of his cum filled your insides as his cock pulsed one last time and his lips pecked yours.
Din dropped to your side, panting with exhaustion, and you just laid there pondering all the decisions that had taken you there.
You’d never let him go.
When the fuck did that happen?
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“How long does winter last here?”
“A good part of the year, around six months,” he replied dryly.
He was aware of the fact that you had been trying to get words out of him for the past week. Make conversation, talk about his story, his past, his interests. See if there was any common ground between you. But Din couldn’t bring himself up to actually share personal details.
And every time you tried, and he would dodge your attempts, he would see the disappointment painted across your face. And every time, something unknown would uncomfortably stir within him. He suspected you had started to harbour feelings for him ― and even if he wanted to, he couldn’t reciprocate you. Didn’t want to break your heart.
It was his fault, really, for seeking you out every night. You were so giving and him so greedy, he just mindlessly took what you offered without giving you anything in return except for a few orgasms and a good time.
“What did you do last winter? Bet it was boring being home with just the droids…”
Din knew very well what answer you were expecting: It was. Your presence has been a great improvement. You make my days―and nights―more bearable.
But instead, he shrugged.
“Dunno. Kept myself busy with stuff,” he muttered frugally.
He kept on walking before you, making the way back home after a quick stroll around to breathe some cold, fresh air.
The Mandalorian did not expect to be attacked by a snowball, which hit the back of his helmet. He quickly turned around.
“What the hell are you―?”
Before he could finish his question, you hit him again with another snowball, dead centre on his visor.
“You are such a prick, Din Djarin,” you snapped between gritted teeth, patting another snowball between your gloved hands. “Would it actually kill you to be a bit more open, hm?”
This time he saw the attack coming and was able to duck, avoiding the next snowball.
“Are you mad?”
“Yes, I’m mad, you fucking idiot!” you yelled at him, trudging forwards with another snowball on hand. “I’m mad for you, but either you’re fucking blind or you’re a cold-hearted jerk.”
Little did you know he was actually blind in one eye, but it didn’t seem to be the time to point it out.
The sudden love confession caught him off guard. You were not supposed to say that. You were not supposed to feel that way, not for him.
Din remained calm as you cut the distance and tried to smash the fourth snowball on his covered face. His fingers gripped your wrist before you were able to do so.
“You’re just confused, mesh’la. All the sex is blindsiding you, but you really don’t feel anything for me,” he reasoned.
You looked at him as if he had slapped you and took a step back.
“Of course, because you, the freaking Tin Man with a dead heart, know better than myself how I feel. Un-fucking-believable, honestly. Go fuck yourself, Din,” you scoffed, pushed him to one side and walked past him.
Din saw you disappear through the sliding door, while he stood there in disbelief.
What the fuck had just happened?
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You kind of expected Din not to show up at your door tonight, but his absence in your bed stung either way. Sure, you had told him to go fuck himself, but now with a new―horny―perspective, you would prefer if he fucked you instead.
Infuriated with him, yourself and the situation, you sat back up on your empty bed. You reached for the drawer in your nightstand and opened it, grabbing the star compass inside. Fidgeting with the aurodium clasp, you wondered why the fuck Din didn’t open up. After three months and a half with him, you had thought you had been able to break through his armour ― the figurative one, not the real one.
Every time you tried to talk about your relationship with him, Din would shut you out or wouldn’t even engage in the conversation at all. He was more stubborn than a falumpaset, and that was saying something. Despite his indifference, you believed that, deep down in that cold, dead heart of his, he cared for you. Maybe he didn’t love you, but at least cared for you.
You didn’t even know if you loved him, anyway. Infatuated was, most probably, more accurate, you’d like to think. Most days you pushed that thought to the remotest corner of your mind, not wanting to consider it. Because, after all, you were his prisoner ― you might forget it some days, but the reality was that Din Djarin was your captor. So maybe it wasn’t love ― perhaps it was just a survival mechanism. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
Amid your pondering, you almost didn’t realise that the hands of the compass had moved, and the lodestone was humming, the plasma inside slowly swirling around. Your heart jolted in your ribcage, almost dropping to your stomach, when you finally paid it attention.
“Shit!” you exclaimed, jumping out of bed.
You had hoped it would work once it fully dried, but you were not expecting it to be actually functioning. It seemed to sense the Force emitted by the Darksaber, but that couldn’t be possible. If the Darksaber was here, in Mandalore, Din would know―would have told you. Right?
No, he wouldn’t have.
With that thought in mind, you put on some more decent clothes and cracked open your door. Carefully, you peeked in the corridor to confirm the coast was clear. It was close to midnight, so you hoped everyone―Din and the droids―would have gone to rest.
Tiptoeing through the hallway, you followed the path the star compass was pointing to, only to find yourself in the west wing after a few minutes. You knew you shouldn’t be here, but the compass hummed louder, vibrating on the palm of your hand, as you turned another corner. Looking up from your family’s relic, you saw a door at the end of the hallway.
“BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEP BOOP! BIP! PIP!” Din’s astromech robot, an old R2-D2 unit, screeched at you loudly, skidding and coming to a halt in front of you. It even had a red light flashing at you.
You almost threw your heart up there and then, the little robot giving you the biggest scare of your life.
“CA’NARA!” you told him off as your heartrate slowed down. “Fucking hell, you almost killed me, little devil.”
“BEEP! PIPIPIPI!” the droid beeped at you, going around you in circles.
“I know I shouldn’t be here, sorry!” you whispered, “I-I’m a sleepwalker!”
Ca’nara seemed to calm down, only for Nau’ul to appear in scene.
Great, fucking great.
“Ca’nara, what’s going on?” the protocol droid turned the corner, almost bumping into you. “Oh! What are you doing here?”
“I- Uhm, I was just telling Ca’nara that I’m a sleepwalker. He literally just woke me up. I didn’t mean― you know I cause no trouble, Nau’ul,” you pleaded with the affable droid.
“Of course, of course,” he took a couple of stiff steps back. “What’s that on your hand?”
Fuck. You looked down, coming up empty with a lie.
“I don’t know. I literally just woke up, I don’t know where I got it from,” you stammered a bit, but the droid didn’t pick up on it.
“I’ll take it. Alor will know what it is and where it belongs,” Nau’ul extended his hand towards you.
If you didn’t give it up, it would arouse suspicion. So, unwillingly, you passed it on to him.
“Where’s he?” the question slipped your tongue before you could refrain.
“Alor is… indisposed, miss. He needs to rest,” he replied cryptically as you both walked back to the main corridor where your bedroom was.
“Indisposed? Is he sick? Is he okay?” you instantly worried.
“He’ll be better in the morning, fret not,” he paused in front of your room, and you opened the door. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Nau’ul,” you mumbled before closing the door behind you.
What a varping disaster. Nau’ul had confiscated your star compass, which meant that Din would eventually see it. If it came to it, you were not sure what you would do. And you still didn’t know what was in that room, why the compass had gone crazy as you approached it. But you had a pretty good idea. Chances were, the Darksaber was on the other side of that door at the end of the west corridor.
Sighing, you sauntered towards the big window in your room. Two perfectly aligned full moons dominated the night sky, their white, sparkly glow bouncing off the walls. It was a beautiful sight.
Something in the path below caught your attention. A metallic reflection. Your eyes drifted down just in time to see Din running towards the Civic Center, as if a thousand ghosts were on his heels.
You frowned, confused. Where was he going at this witchy hour? Wasn’t he sick?
A scary thought formed in your head. Were you under attack? Had Ash come looking for you after several weeks without returning his messages?
Heart pounding with worry, you darted to the door and then the lift. Whatever threat was coming, you would face it with him. With such resolution in mind, you followed his trail.
Your concern for him skyrocketed when you arrived at the Civic Center and saw nothing but pieces of his armour scattered around. You snatched the shin and thigh armour off the steps to the main door, only to look up and find more bits spread around the entryway.
This made no sense at all. Why would Din dispose of his armour? Something was wrong, very wrong, but you were not under attack.
You gathered all the armour pieces in your arms while calling his name but heard nothing except the whistling of wind passing through cracks and crannies.
Suddenly, you felt the need to look down the stairs to the Living Waters. A hunch rooting in your core, wrapping around your heart. Then a faint, painful growl came from underneath and all your senses flared alive.
What was Din doing down there? In the Mythosaur’s lair?
Panic hiked up your throat as you hiked down the stairs, the animalistic snarl louder now as you drew nearer. At the bottom of the steps, eyes fixed on your shoes, you dared to glance up.
His armour fell from your arms on to the ground, clattering. You were not prepared to see what you found.
Din was half curled up on the floor, naked and dragging himself towards the water. Only he was way bigger ― almost seven feet tall, his body much more muscular with chiselled, blueish veins across the whole of him, hands big as paws with his nails digging the dirt underneath.
You took a step forward, catching a better glimpse of him. Then you truly saw ― his skin had a viridescent tint to it and had started to scale. Rugged lumps raised from the skin on his back, tiny bones protruding through. No, not bones ― small horns, like those of a reptile.
Not like a reptile. Like a Mythosaur. Only smaller than the beast you saw a few weeks ago.
With a guttural bellow, he removed his helmet, throwing it to on side as he crawled towards the rippling water. His head was crowned by thick, short, greyish curls ― exactly what you had imagined.
“Din?” you whispered, taking a precautious step towards him, one hand extended in front of you to appease him.
His head snapped around at the sound of your voice.
You gasped at the sight of him. What first struck you was the scar across his face, one that would perfectly line up with the mended crack on his helmet. It ran diagonally through his rugged features, distorting them and hugging that crooked nose. His teeth seemed slightly pointier too. The next thing you noticed were his blown, bloodshot eyes with pupils as big as his sclerae.
Not eyes, one eye ― the right one was completely discoloured, covered in a white sheen.
He still looked like Din, but… not really.
The vision in front of you should have scared you. Even more so when Din stared at you, and you saw nothing in his expression ― he didn’t recognise you. Whoever, or whatever, this was, he wasn’t the man that had kept you company for the last few months.
Logic dictated you should run in the opposite direction. Instead, you propelled forwards towards him, knees skidding on the dirt and landing by his side.
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The warm touch of an alien hand grounded him for an ephemeral instant. The bitter cold crawled under his scaled skin, rejecting the heat like a limping animal avoiding the helping hand of a human.
He snarled, creeping back and away from you, as if your mere proximity was a threat to him.
Because it was.
“Din, I’m here, let me help you,” you besought, dragging your knees towards him again.
He didn’t know who Din was. Where he was or had gone. Did he ever exist? The Beast didn’t know―didn’t care. So he growled again, but his futile attempt didn’t keep you at bay. Guessed you had a death wish, only that could explain your blatant refusal to his rejection.
Both your hands fell upon him, like warm blood spilling and enlivening his senses. For once the cold running wild through his veins minimised, giving way to a hot flush that was foreign to him. The sudden warmth surprised him ― but what shocked him the most was how soothing it was, how easy was for him to crave your touch. A primal need.
The Beast had forgotten what warmth was, having been cursed to a lifetime of coldness for as long as he could remember. Crazed by this newfound feeling, he slowly sat back up on the ground, eyeing you like a predator watching his prey.
Your hand reached up to him to cradle his cheek and the Beast closed his eyes, that warm feeling running down his neck, wrapping around his dead yet beating heart.
“You’re so cold,” you mumbled as you cut the distance some more, your chest nudging his side.
Another heatwave flashed through him ― your warmth beckoning, your body too inviting. He wanted to dive in, to let your warmth surround him, make him surrender. He craved it so bad, so fiercely, the Beast bowed down to sink his forked tongue in your mouth ― unannounced, unrequited.
You moaned at the intrusion, your hands lacing on the nape of his neck, and that only spurred him on. He gave in to your warmth and gave up his restraints. Growling, he plundered your mouth as he forced you down onto the ground.
Towering above you, his tongue slipped out of your mouth to graze your neck, and you shivered under him. Biting your chin, he returned to your lips to kiss you, to suck out your warmth to replenish himself. Like a leech he drank from you while his rough, broad hands roamed your body.
“Din,” you mewled.
He didn’t like this Din whose name you were moaning. So he kissed you, not wanting to hear it again and tugged at your clothing. Impatient, he almost tore your garments apart and only relaxed a little when you were completely naked beneath him.
Pressing his bare body against yours, he revelled, soaking in your heat. But there was a part of you that was hotter, and he could sense it ― like a tracking fob, he pursued the warm feeling as he slithered down your frame.
The heat pulsing from between your thighs called him home, hypnotising. You pressed your knees together and he snarled, his sight darting to your glassy, dreamy eyes, silently distraught at your denial.
He leaned down over you to graze one of your nipples, smothering it raw to show you what he could do to you down in your balmy core. His demonstration worked, because the next time he coaxed your legs apart, you showed no resistance.
So down he went on you, fingers splaying out your puffy folds to display the focal point of his desire. Like a thirsty animal his bifid tongue darted out and swept the length of your damp slit in one slow, sweet sweep. He howled into your pussy, besotted, his arms wrapping around your thighs as he devoured your seeping cunt. Warmth poured from your clit, and he latched onto it rather harshly, finally finding the beacon that reeled him in.
“Fuck, that― Mhmm,” whatever you were going to say died in your lips as a moan hitched in your throat and your body trembled.
A rush of liquid fire met his tongue, and he accepted your offering as your thighs quivered around him ― the strength of your release eased slowly, but his tongue didn’t.
His fingers found the warm cave he needed to nestle in. But before he could do that, before his brain got fucked out into oblivion, he had to prepare you to take him. He massaged your leaking entrance one digit at a time until you were sweetly stretched around four of his fingers.
You whimpered with the first pump and slowly you eased into it, into the feeling of being full to the brim. He licked and flicked your throbbing clit, the hot nub driving him wild. Your inner walls tightened, announcing another climax, and he pulled it out of you with his fist still immersed in your pussy.
Once you came down from your high, the Beast unburied from between your thighs and loomed over you. Your half-lidded eyes and fucked-out expression only made him harder, hotter. He hungered for the moment your bodies would connect; the moment he would finally feel only warmth running through his veins. The moment the cold was forgotten, albeit only fleetingly.
The tip of his cock nudged at your pliant entrance, and he trailed the head up and down your dewy furrow a few times. Your eyes blew open the moment he poked at your hole, parting your flesh, and you looked down at his dick kissing the mouth to your cave.
“Din, I don’t think― Oh, holy FUCK,” you mumbled something uncoherent afterwards, head tilted back and your teeth sinking in your bottom lip as your pleading metamorphosed into moaning.
His whole frame blanketed yours as he supported his weight off you by placing his forearms to either side of your head.
Slowly, inch by inch, he buried himself in you, suffocating heat radiating from where you two met. He growled, an animalistic bellow bubbling up his throat as he felt your walls swallowing him, sheathing his throbbing cock. And when he was fully embedded in you, buried almost down to the hilt, you whined as he remained still ― your walls adjusting around him. He was maddened by the warmth of you.
Only when he felt you relax around him, did he start pumping in and out of you. His mind went blank as his sight transfixed on yours and your foreheads touched, another bridge between you. The Beast rutted into you, first paced, then madly, as he stared into your soul. Your body rocked up and down underneath him, your back arched so your nipples caressed the bare skin of his chest.
The movement of water behind him made him look over his shoulder. The Great Mythosaur had resurfaced, only the top of his head and his eyes were above the water table. Watching, ever present and lurking. Eager. Wanting.
He growled at him, a warning to back the fuck down ― he wasn’t sharing you; you were all for himself and himself only. His exclusive prey, no one else’s. With a low rumble, the Great Mythosaur disappeared under the water, and he refocused on you.
Tension built up at the base of his spine, his cock pulsating so hard it was difficult to ignore it any longer. And then your pussy clenched around him as you orgasmed once more, and that inevitably milked him dry ― both of you moaning in unison as ropes of thick, white cum painted your inner walls, leaving a lasting imprint in your core.
The Beast panted above you ― all coldness deserted from his body, destituted by your unique warmth.
He sat back up, his engorged cock leaving your entrails. Through the daze in your eyes, you looked at him with a satisfied grin. As you sat up straight, you lifted one hand towards him, softly placing it on the center of his chest.
“Come back to me, Din,” you begged, and all hell broke loose within him.
The pain, the shearing pain, blinded all his senses as his bones snapped and rearranged again. His jaw clenched to stop the agonising screams hiking up his throat. Din hunkered down as his body adjusted back to normal size.
As grievous as it was, it was over very quickly. Too quickly. He had not fully transformed into the Beast, which meant easing out of it was not as traumatic.
What was traumatic was the sudden landslide of overwhelming feelings taking form inside him. Almost a decade of apathy meant years’ worth of emotions repressed ― emotions that would emerge to the surface if given the opportunity. And whatever you unleashed within him, flooded his brain and his heart.
A myriad of sentiments rushed through him ― joy, anger, hope, disappointment, serenity, desperation. All at once, a cacophony bursting his eardrums. So loud were his emotions, all boiling together inside him, his thoughts were drowned. He couldn’t think ― panic was setting in.
Din panted as his arms and legs trembled uncontrollably, lungs vacating all oxygen in sharp exhales. His ears rang and his heart threatened to climb up his throat and run. Eyes closed shut, he grasped for control.
“Din, I’m here,” your hands slid on his back, grabbing him by the shoulders.
A soothing balm taking many of his worries away. Your palms smoothing out his skin felt like an anchor. One he desperately tried to hold onto.
Through the fog of his anxiety, he saw you knelt by his side, hugging him close. Naked as he was, a sweaty patina clinging to your skin. Although Din had not been in possession of his own body, he had been relegated to the background and had been witness to everything that happened. Forced to watch him take you.
He felt sick to his stomach.
“I’m sorry. I can’t control him, I just―,” he wheezed as he sat back up.
Your soft eyes sparkled, a faint smile curling up your lips. Your fingers snaked through his hair, combing it back.
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Din,” you hugged him tighter, reassuring, kissing one of his shoulders.
“Are you hurt? Did I― did he…?”
“I’m completely fine. A bit… sensitive and raw. But in a good way,” you added with a faint chuckle.
The comforting caress of your hand rubbing his back and your lips brushing the skin on his shoulder made him believe you.
Even though the look in your eyes had not changed, he could see the questions dancing in your pupils. Questions you were holding back, but that would eventually spurt out.
Your free hand reached for his left cheek, and he almost flinched at the proximity. Your thumb had come too close to the scar, sending a shot of pain down his neck. But he didn’t lean back away from you. Instead, Din stilled under your touch.
“I knew you’d be gorgeous underneath that helmet,” you whispered, your mouth close to his.
Din grunted, taking your compliment as an offense. Why were you mocking him? He knew how he looked ― he didn’t need you making fun of him for it.
And why was he upset? He shouldn’t. He couldn’t.
Your tiny fingers wrapped around his wrist when he reached for the helmet nearby. You yanked his forearm until his eyes met yours.
“I wasn’t joking. I mean it, Din. Truly,” you husked, hand again on his cheek and thumb too close for comfort.
He couldn’t see a sliver of jest in your features. You were deadpan serious. And that scared him.
Din looked away, coming to terms with the flaring emotions. Emotions. Even the unspoken word tasted weird on his tongue.
You moved away from him to quickly gather your clothes and put them on. Then returned to his side with his armour and clothing.
“Let’s go back home, Din. You look knackered,” you mumbled, kneeling by his side again.
Din didn’t reject your aid when you helped him get dressed again. Taking the helmet between your hands, he bowed down his head so you could put it on for him.
His body ached in places he didn’t even know could hurt ― all the restructuring his bones had to endure always took a physical toll on him. So much so, he needed your help to stand up ― his legs felt like those of a newborn humbaba.
But today… today it also took an emotional toll on him.
He really was exhausted.
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You probably needed time to process what had happened tonight, a whirlwind of questions and doubts battered around in your mind. But you didn’t want to leave Din alone, not when he looked so fatigued, a moment away from breaking.
Walking down the silent corridor beside him, arm draped around his waist, you went past your room. You had never been to his and hoped tonight would be the night where he would let you spend it by his side.
Hand heavy on the handle, you pushed it down and the door swung open. You didn’t know what to expect and, somehow, the bareness of his room did not surprise you at all. The metalwork on the walls had been painted black and the furniture was sparse. A massive bed with black bedsheets dominated the room.
Despite the monochromatic theme, it felt cozy, inviting even. Dragging him towards the bed, you gently pushed him down on to the mattress and knelt in front of him to remove his boots.
“I can do it,” his words slurred.
“I know. But let me do it, please,” you muttered, throwing the shoes to one side.
Din hummed in agreement, so slowly you unfastened all the beskar pieces again. Removed the vest underneath and unzipped his body stocking down the side, helping him out of it.
There was something extremely intimate about undressing him. Not with a deprived end in mind, but a caring one.
I could do this forever. Only if you’d let me, the intrusive thought didn’t startle you. Because it was true.
Last, you placed your hands to either side of his helmet to pull it up. By pure instinct, his hands darted up to yours to stop you from uncovering his face.
“It’s okay, Din,” you reassured him softly.
Din crooned again, arms falling to his sides, surrendering, and you took it off, leaving it on the nightstand.
You could truly get used to this; you’d never tire of looking at him. His rugged features, although distorted by the nasty scar, were pleasant. His soft, brown and white eyes, the aquiline nose, the moustache blending in with the beard, the strong jaw. You only saw beauty, no beast.
Mando let himself fall backwards and you stood there by the side of the bed, unsure of what to do with yourself.
He decided for you.
“Stay, please,” he purred, half asleep by the time his head touched the pillow underneath.
He didn’t need to say more. Removing your clothes, you joined him under the bedlinen with a smirk.
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The first lights of the morning filtered through the big window in Din’s bedroom. You had been awake for an hour now, but he had been so peacefully sleeping, you didn’t want to disturb him.
A tangled mess of limbs you were, your legs intertwined with his while your right cheek rested on his bare chest. Your left forearm was splayed across his abdomen, the tips of your fingers mindlessly caressing his ribs.
Pressing a kiss to his left pec, he stirred under you, slowly coming out of his slumber. You hugged him tighter, an easy smile surfacing.
“Good morning,” you husked when he looked down at you with just his left eye open, lips slightly curled downwards.
His addled expression made you snicker as you kissed his jawline.
“Morning,” he hushed back once his brain registered your words.
“How are you feeling?”
“Better. Everything hurts, but I’m okay.”
The arm of his under you moved, bringing you closer to him in a half embrace.
“I know you have questions,” he said a few moments later.
“Understatement of the year,” you joked, lifting your head slightly up to rest your chin on his chest. “Is now a good time?”
“Might as well,” his reply was accompanied by a smirk.
“You didn’t transform fully last night, did you?”
Din shook his head. “No, just halfway. I think your presence stopped it from happening.”
Did that mean that you could soothe the beast? That you could help Din in a way that really mattered? The mere possibility filled your belly with butterflies.
“And, well, the most obvious one… How?” you emphasized the last word.
“A witch cursed me before I killed her,” you looked at him quizzically, eyebrows raised, and he sighed. “A man by the name of Moff Gideon had someone I held dear under his grasp. A kid I was fond of,” he paused to gather his thoughts while your breath hitched at the name of Moff Gideon. “I fought Gideon to free him. I won, but he had backup I did not see coming. A witch named Morgan Elsbeth. She came to his rescue and I ended up killing her. Her last breath cursed me to an existence of apathy and becoming a beast. Guess it worked,” he scoffed, shaking his head. “That was eight years ago and ever since then, my ability to feel has been dying out while the beast has only gotten stronger.”
Your head spun with so much information, you almost felt dizzy. Did Din fight Moff Gideon? Was it his halo you chased eight years ago?
“Is that how you got the crack on your helmet and the scar?” you ventured, heart pounding.
“Mhm,” was his only reply. “How I lost my right eye too.”
The helmet was made of beskar, one of the strongest alloys in the Galaxy. Only a weapon strong enough would be able to melt it. But you couldn’t push him for more details, or it would be suspicious.
And did it really matter? Did you care that much about the Darksaber? Yes, you had spent your whole life looking for it; yes, you had promised your dying father you would finish the mission. But that felt like a lifetime ago.
“What was the kid’s name? What happened to him?”
“Grogu. He is Force sensitive, he went to the Jedi for training,” he pursed his lips, and your fingers smoothed out the crow’s feet around his right eye.
“You miss him,” you hummed, your fingertips tracing imaginary lines on his skin.
“I didn’t think I did. Till now,” he confessed, stirring under you. “I don’t know, it’s weird. Since last night I have started to… feel again. And it’s overwhelming.”
Your heart did a little jump against your ribcage. If he could feel now, did he feel for you?
You were too scared to ask, so didn’t.
“Maybe the curse is fading?”
“Maybe,” he said back, sounding unconvinced. “You hungry?”
You nodded.
“I’ll go get something. Bet Nau’ul has prepared a feast. Whether it’s edible or not, I don’t know.”
You chuckled at the joke and moved off him so Din could get up. In silence, you watched him dress, his back muscles rippling with every movement.
Yes, you could get used to this.
Fuck the Darksaber. Fuck everything. You just wanted to live your life. With him. Here, in Mandalore. Only if he’d let you.
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It was selfish of you to think this way, but Din’s curse had become your blessing.
Every night since you discovered his secret, you’d go to his room and spend the hours of darkness with him. He would reluctantly take the helmet off, but each time you would reassure him he couldn’t scare you away, that what he thought he looked like didn’t matter in the slightest. And you meant every single word. In your eyes, he was perfect just the way he was.
There was still the issue of his Creed forbidding him, but you wondered if it was more habit than anything else.
And every full moon, you would follow him down to the Mythosaur lair to let him take you, excitement running through your veins every single time. You knew you shouldn’t enjoy it but allowing him to fuck you in beast form was exhilarating. Even with practice you had still not been able to take him fully ― his cock too big to bear. It was worse when you attempted a blowjob on him ― your jaw almost dislocated. But you were more than happy to try, obviously.
And of course, it helped him regulate, which was the most important point of all. He had told you he didn’t feel as cold either. Even if his body was hot to the touch, Din had explained how his organs, his blood, felt like icicles. Ever since the beast had had a taste of your warmth―Din’s words, not yours―it seemed like his feelings were slowly crawling back.
That had been interesting too. After so many years spent numb, Din had had a bit of trouble dealing with his emotions. Sometimes they were extreme, out of proportion even, but he was learning how to manage them. Although most days felt like one step forward and three back, especially when it was a touchy subject such as love.
You had tried, but Din was still of the idea that he couldn’t truly feel ― that this was just a glitch, a shortcut, but not the real thing. And because of his stupid theory, he didn’t want to hear you say anything about The Matter. You had seen how much he had improved, how much better he could deal with everything, and yet he wouldn’t listen to you in that respect.
You rolled your eyes, still thinking about it, as you trekked through the mud. It was a crispy morning, but the cold had started to recede. Poor Ca’nara had a faulty retractable third leg ― the inside mechanism was getting jammed regularly. You had decided to be proactive and walk to the landing site of your X-wing, in the hopes that some parts of your astromech droid were salvageable. An extremely long shot, yes, but you had to try at least.
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In full armour, Din sauntered towards the dining room, where the three droids seemed to be conferring about something.
None of them heard him coming, and Nau’ul startled dramatically when he saw him.
“Oh! Alor! What― Uh, do you want something to eat?” he asked, looking at Mrs. Kri’gee and Ca’nara nervously.
Din frowned, suspicious of their jumpy, evasive behaviour.
“No, I’m fine,” he mumbled as his eye caught a glimpse of something shiny Nau’ul was holding, trying to conceal it. “What’s that?”
“Ah, this? Well. You see, I― It’s― Nothing really. I don’t really know what―” his stammering was riling Din up.
He was a damn droid, not a fucking human. How could Nau’ul get edgier than himself? Unbelievable.
“Give,” he extended his hand towards the droid, palm up, and curled his fingers with impatience.
The three droids shared weird looks, but Nau’ul finally handed him the object.
Din turned around the metal item and as soon as he did, he recognised the beskar. Brows knitting, he inspected the grooves and quickly identified them as astromeridian lines. This was not a simple object; it was a Jedi star compass. Confused as to how this came to be in the possession of Nau’ul, Din unclasped the compass and lifted the lid.
His breathing hitched and his heart skipped a beat. This was not any star compass; this was the star compass. One that all Mandalorians believed to be a myth. But the black plasma in the lodestone didn’t lie. In his hand he was holding the very same star compass that Tarre Vizsla had commissioned to keep track of the Darksaber in case it ever got stolen.
“Where did you get this?” he snapped, fingers clutching the device tight.
“I― Well, it’s complicated. I thought―”
“It’s hers, isn’t it?” he interrupted.
The memory of that day trip to your ship came back to him. A locket, you had said. Bullshit.
Nau’ul nodded.
“How long have you had this?”
“Weeks, Alor. I did recognise it from the lore I knew about House Vizsla, but we didn’t want to worry you unnecessarily. She’s doing you good, Master, you’ve improved―”
“Unnecessarily? Are you for fucking real, Nau’ul?” Din replied angrily, teeth gritting.
Without expecting an answer, he turned around and stormed out of the room.
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You were kneeling on the ground, elbow’s deep in the core of your old R3-D3 unit, trying to reach a hidden screw, when you heard heavy steps approaching.
“Good you’re here, I can’t get to this screw. I’ve been at it for five minutes now. Can you try?” you asked Din, who stopped inches away from your back.
When he didn’t say a word, you turned around and glanced up at him.
He radiated tension through every pore, his posture stiff and shoulders squared. Eyebrows furrowed, you got up, cleaning the palm of your hands on your trousers.
“What’s the matter, Din?”
“This. Why did you have this?” his voice transpired how mad he felt as he handed you an object you quickly recognised.
The star compass that Nau’ul had confiscated from you weeks ago. You had assumed the droid didn’t know what it was and hadn’t bothered to show it to Din.
Your eyes shot up to where you knew his were.
“I can explain,” you reached for him, your fingers wrapping around his forearm.
“You better start talking now,” even if he hadn’t backed away from you, he felt so distant.
Your mind raced and your heart galloped inside your chest. You could lie your way out of this situation, but you didn’t want to. You loved him, and nothing else mattered. He would understand. Eventually.
“Din, listen to me, please. I’m not gonna lie to you: it is exactly what it looks like. My family, my tribe― we are trackers. Have been tracking the Darksaber for generations. I was raised to hate your people, but the message never really sunk in for me. Our purpose was to find the Darksaber and destroy it,” you explained while he remained deadly silent. “That was why I was travelling through the Mandalore system. I was tracking the Darksaber. I was going to Concordia, but I ran into technical problems with my X-wing and had to divert here. I think― I thought it was there.”
Until that night you sneaked out to the west wing. You had been caught before you could confirm your suspicions but were pretty sure that was what Din was hiding in the west wing. The reason he wouldn’t let you be anywhere nearby.
“But now you know it’s not in Concordia,” he finished for you.
You nodded.
“But I don’t care for it anymore, Din. Once I figured you likely had it, I made a choice. I chose you,” you whispered, closing in on him until your bodies met. “You have to believe me.”
He didn’t talk at all. Silence strung between you, dense and worrying, like a rope wrapping around your neck, forcing the oxygen out of your lungs. You didn’t want to panic, knowing that Din probably only needed time to think, to digest and ruminate.
Minutes went by and your grip on his forearm loosened. You were ready to take a step back, give him some space to process, when Din finally spoke in his modulated voice.
“I believe you,” a wave of relief washed over you, “and I choose you too.”
Your heart dropped to your stomach and then climbed up your oesophagus. It was beating so hard, so fast, you were seconds away from passing out.
He chose you.
Before you could throw your arms around his neck with pure elation, Din took a step back and one hand reached towards the back of his belt. Confused, you followed the movement of his hand, a deep wrinkle burrowing between your brows.
Din presented you a black hilt, waved it a little, and then the black and white blade appeared, humming very loudly, although dimmer than what you expected. Your eyes widened at the sight of the Darksaber ― the item your whole family had been searching for, right there, in front of you, an inch away from your fingers.
Lifting your right hand, you reached for it.
Suddenly, a firing sound broke the silence and, inexplicably, Din leaned forward towards you, the Darksaber dropping from his hand.
You held him by the elbows, not understanding what was happening, as his hands grasped for you. Then a second firing noise uprooted a painful groan from him while he almost dragged you to the floor.
“Din? Din!” you whispered, on your knees with him in your arms, as your hands roamed his body.
You felt the warm blood before you could see it and panic settled in fast. He was profusely bleeding from two gunshots on his back, right below the beskar piece that covered his six.
“No, no. Wait. What―” you sobbed as Din groaned, his consciousness drifting away.
You were losing him fast, and you didn’t even know how.
“Are you okay? Is he dead?”
A male voice came from behind a tree near the cliff. A voice you had not heard in a long while, but quickly recognised.
Ashton.
Blaster still pointing at Din, Ash had frozen several meters away from you. What was he doing here? How did he get here unnoticed? Why? Fucking why?
But none of those questions left your mouth, gutted as you were, holding onto Din, worried he would slip away from you. You couldn’t move, couldn’t talk, overwhelmed as you were.
Din stirred in your arms, and you saw the panic reflected in Ash’s eyes as he cocked the blaster in Din’s direction again. There was no time to think, to beg, to ask him to leave. To tell him you loved the man he was intent on killing.
So you did the only thing you could do. Your fingers found Din’s blaster in his holster, lifted it up, pointed to Ash, and shot.
The light beam flashed before it hit dead center between Ash’s eyes. He stumbled back and fell into the abyss behind him. And just like that, you had killed the only friend you had known.
You should have doubted your actions, but you didn’t. It all happened too quickly, and you had bigger worries than having killed one of the few people you cared about. Like losing the love of your life.
Dropping the blaster, you rushed to remove Din’s helmet.
“Din, please, just hold on. Please, stay with me. Please, don’t leave,” you screamed and cried, hands trembling and pressing on the wounds on his back.
His eyes fluttered open, only a tiny slit ― his gloved hand reached up, cradling your cheek.
“Cyar’ika,” he could barely talk. “Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum (I love you). Don’t cry. It’s okay.”
“No, no. NO. You ain’t saying goodbye. No,” your words slurred as your sobs intensified, your heart breaking into a myriad of tiny pieces.
You removed the glove of his hand to kiss the palm, your tears streaming between his fingers. Yours wrapped around his wrist, holding him there.
As you cried your eyes out, you noticed the Darksaber humming louder, almost deafening, and its light shining brighter. Its vibration called you, hearing your name inside your head. A Force deep within you awakening, beckoning you to touch it. A need as basic as breathing.
Through teary eyes, blinking fast, you gave in ― you grabbed it.
An electrifying sensation ran through you, all your muscles coiling at once. Your mind spiralled out of control, for a moment losing track of time and space. The Force was so intense, so primitive, you thought you would be obliterated by its magnitude.
When you could finally open your eyes, the blade had dimmed considerably and then it completely snuffed out. Your cries had not stopped though, so loud you almost missed Din’s voice.
“Mesh’la,” he rasped, trying to straighten his back, “you― you’re Force sensitive. You’ve used the Force of the Darksaber to heal me.”
Your wet eyes darted to him and then his wounds. Or where the wounds had been but no longer existed. Mouthing a gulp of air, you instantly dropped the Darksaber to hug him tight, crying louder than before.
“It’s okay. I’m fine. We’re okay,” he hushed, comforting you.
“I love you, Din,” you mumbled in the crook of his neck, relief running through you loosening your taut muscles. “Don’t you fucking dare die on me again or I’ll kill you myself.”
Din chuckled, one hand smoothing out your hair.
“Noted, cyar’ika.”
Cradling his handsome face, you pressed a kiss to his lips. Salty yet sweet. You kissed him again, looking for the solace of his tongue.
The wind carried some words you barely made out.
“Maker met.”
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Four full moons had come and gone, and the beast was no more.
Din’s curse was broken. For good. Forever.
You couldn’t have asked for anything else. Anyone else. You loved him and he loved you back ― he had shown you many times. Right as he was showing you now.
Your lips brushed his tummy right above his belly button, leaving a trail of kisses as you found your way back to his mouth. Din was laying on his back, his rough hands caressing the back of your thighs as you kissed his scar and then his right eye, lips soft as a cloud.
He didn’t flinch anymore whenever you touched the sensitive skin or his blind eye. Instead, he sighed, as if your caress was soothing, calming. As if you could take away the pain he felt sometimes.
You sat back up on top of him, straddling his hips as his mushroom head hitched in your entrance, his hands compelling you to impale yourself. But you didn’t ― not yet.
Instead, you leaned over a bit, taking the helmet off the nightstand. It was heavy. Curious to know what it felt like, you put it on. The padding inside was soft, your face snug. It was slightly claustrophobic, but also comforting. Weird.
“It suits you, cyar’ika. You should consider taking up the Creed,” he mumbled, eyes full of desire, of yearning. Of love.
You chuckled and stirred your hips above him, the tip of his cock going in ever so smoothly.
“For you, I just might, Din.”
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@baronessvonglitter @bishtrouille @natalieispunk @iknowisoundcrazy @almostfoxglove
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neil-gaiman · 1 year ago
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Hello Neil, my name is Zalean. If you have a few minutes, I wanted to tell you a little story. Not really a question and I’m not sure how to use tumblr but I wanted to say thanks so much for coming to Florida a few months back and talking with Art Spiegelman. It was my first time ever figuring out how to buy tickets for something. I lived in, middle of nowhere, Vermont for most my life and had no idea what I was doing, I had never been to anything before, nothing had made me excited enough to do the 5 hour drive. And then you just appeared 20 minutes away from where I am living now.
See, I was just starting to get to know your books and work because I fell in love with Good Omens so deeply when I discovered it during season twos release. Funny thing is, I knew of you all along without even realizing it, Stardust has been my favorite book and movie since I was a kid because it was my dad’s favorite story. Finding out my two favorite things were actually connected, I started trying to get hands on as many of your books as I could. I hadn’t read in years before finding your books. It was eye opening.
The talk event at the Dr.Phillips Center was sold out by the time I knew about it, someone had asked me if I knew of the event when they saw my Good Omens keychains my mom had made me. I called the box office because there is no harm in asking. I explained how I’m an art student at UCF and desperately wanted to be inspired and learn from you both. The customer service people were amazing and ended up calling me back to get me a seat in the orchestra pit before they were released to the public. I drove alone, I walked there alone, I sat alone, and it was worth it. I was so thankful to get a seat and grateful to my professor who was a bit jealous he didn’t know about it but let me leave class early to go because of course the art professor would be understanding for any learning opportunities in the arts. And it was truly wonderful, it seemed real and that’s what I wanted. I didn’t want a show. I just wanted to hear, in some sense, that you were like everybody else. I brought a notebook and pen for any information or story’s that I thought made a difference to my little life. The other people around were wonderful, you inspire kind people.
Like I said, I had never been to anything like this and I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know you would have signed books and I only found out because the people next to me came in late. I asked them why they brought the books after it was over and the lights turned on. They did look at me like I had three heads for a moment until they realized I didn’t know there were books to buy, they looked kinda sorry for me but they were so nice. I had never really thought about the importance of someone’s scribble before this but it’s something that proves you were there. It says “Remember when this person made you happy? Remember when they changed your life? Remember when they gave you hope? Look at this and remember.” I hope to see David Tennant and Michael Sheen to get an autograph now that I understand the meaning behind it a bit more but honestly I just love diving into everyone’s projects, the wonder you all create. Oh what fun it is to live a life full of stories!
The people that were sitting next to me let me look at their signed books and hold them. I flipped through some of the big ones, handed them back and expressed my gratitude just to be in the theater. I showed them all my little quotes I wrote down, I never want to forget why I create things and you say so much about never stopping, always creating. Then the women handed me a different book, a smaller book, but when I tried to hand it back, a bit confused, she softly placed it back in my open hands and said “I want you to have it, we have plenty and I want you to love these stories just as much as we do. It’s just starting for you, I want you to remember who started it”. The book she handed me being“The Ocean at the End of the Lane”. The first book I decided to read by you and had just finished a week before. The women had no idea she given me a signed copy of the book that made me want to read again. Your books make the world better. For such a big theater and such a big stage, I just wanted to tell you my little point of view.
The story you told about wishing you enjoyed the past more than you did, I hope you get to enjoy it now, and I hope you want to. And thank you, to you and to Terry Pratchett for creating something special. I convinced my dad to watch Good Omens with me over December break, he loved it.
I forget sometimes that everything is someone's first time, and then I read something like this and feel like I need to remember that better. I'm glad the people beside you were kind.
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alisonsfics · 5 months ago
Text
lovers to exes, to lovers? part two
pairing: ex!tyler owens x ex!reader
summary: who ever heard of exes being civil after a breakup? not you and tyler. which makes it interesting when you both end up in the same town.
word count: 4.1k
part 1
warnings: smut, unprotected sex, hand jobs, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, praise kink kinda, minors DNI (18+ only)
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You had a horrible night, tossing and turning all night as you struggled to fall asleep. The image of Tyler with some mystery girl was torturing you.
You didn’t know why you felt jealous. Tyler’s wasn’t yours anymore. You both had your chance, and you both crashed and burned. You didn’t know why you felt like giving it a second chance.
So the next morning, you were understandably grouchy. You headed down to the diner to get some coffee.
You waited at the counter as the waitress poured you coffee and toasted a bagel for you.
You looked down the counter and saw Boone sitting a few feet away. He politely smiled and waved at you. “You excited for the storms today?” You asked him, walking over and taking the seat next to him.
“Totally. The conditions look great today.” He said, enthusiastically. You quickly thanked the waitress as she handed you your food.
“Hey, good morning, sweetheart,” you heard Tyler say behind you. You quickly spun around and froze when you saw Tyler smiling down at you.
“I have to go find Javi. It was nice talking to you, Boone.” You said, before spinning on your heel and leaving the diner. Tyler was left stunned as you refused to even acknowledge him.
He slowly sat down next to Boone, his eyes following you as you left. “I thought you said that you two patched things up a little?” Boone asked, equally confused by the way you ignored Tyler.
“I thought we did. Maybe I was wrong,” Tyler said, softly. He felt a pit in his gut. He had felt optimistic last night that you both could put aside your differences, but you weren’t done being mad at him yet.
He wasn’t immune to feeling the chemistry between you both. He felt stupid for hoping that you’d invite him into your room last night.
You spotted Javi and the team looking at a map by the trucks. You lightly jogged over and started helping them plan.
A storm to your east was starting to form. “I think that one’s the most promising.” You said, pointing that direction.
“I completely agree. Let’s roll out.” Javi said. That seemed to be the common opinion as most of the chasers started piling into their trucks. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Tyler and Boone walk out of the diner.
You helped Javi pack up the map and laptops, so you could leave. You almost couldn’t believe your eyes when you saw Tyler jogging over to you.
“Not now. We’re about to leave.” You dismissed him, refusing to even look at him.
“Yeah, us too.” He said, walking closer to you and grabbing your hand. A jolt of electricity ran through you as you felt the roughness of his hand. “Be safe out there, sweetheart, okay?” He said, softly kissing the back of your hand.
You tugged your hand away from him. “I will be.” You said shortly, before jumping into the passenger seat of the truck.
“So what’s up with you and Owens?” Javi asked as you raced towards the growing storm. You shrugged to yourself. “I don’t know. He was a dick last night, and he came to my room to apologize. It felt really heartfelt, and maybe like, I don’t know, like he was still into me?” You said, not knowing how to describe the feeling.
Javi let out a loud laugh. You spun around to face him. Seeing your confused expression, Javi explained, “I’ve seen him look at you. Come on, you’re a genius and you can’t see that he likes you?”
You shook your head. “He clearly doesn’t. Cause I went to his room afterwards, to try to…ummm” you struggled to find a way to describe it that wasn’t “fuck your ex-boyfriend.”
Javi wiggled his eyebrows at you. “Bow chicka bow wow,” he said in a sing-song voice, mocking you. You jokingly rolled your eyes at his juvenile nature. You could feel your cheeks start to heat up.
“Okay fine, guilty as charged, but I got to his room, and let’s just say, he was already occupied with another girl. I overheard them and obviously ran back to my room, so I don’t think he knows that I know.” You said, looking back out the window.
“Oh, man, I’m sorry.” Javi quickly apologized. He felt bad for you. It was clear that Tyler was special to you, even if he got on your nerves.
Just then, Tyler’s truck swerved right up next to you guys. You could see Boone cheering in the passenger seat. Tyler shot a wink towards you. You rolled your eyes and focused your attention straight ahead. Tyler furrowed his eyebrows as you ignored him before speeding off ahead of you.
“Oh, fuck him,” you muttered to yourself.
“I think you’ve already done that.” Javi joked, trying to change the mood in the car. Your jaw dropped as you looked at Javi, in shock. You struggled as you tried not to laugh at his joke. You playfully hit his arm.
The school of trucks closed in on the tornado that had just touched down. Tyler’s truck sped ahead of everyone else, as you expected.
You and Javi jumped out of the truck to turn on the sensors. You both struggled to turn the machine on. “Oh, come on, you piece of shit,” Javi swore, hitting the barrel.
You felt the air change. You turned around and saw a second tornado touch down behind you. “Javi, get in the car, now,” you yelled, knowing if you got boxed in, you were screwed.
In his rearview mirror, Tyler saw you both running back into the truck, and then he saw the second tornado. “Boone, hold on,” he yelled as he quickly spun the truck around and started racing towards you.
Javi started to drive away when you saw a tractor flying through the air. It was coming straight for you. You could feel the hair stand up on the back of your neck as you braced for it to hit.
The tractor slammed against the side of the truck. The loud screeching of metal stung your ears. You could feel the truck started to flip. You desperately reached for anything you could get your hands on.
Tyler felt his heart drop as he watched your truck flip upside down. He swore under his breath. The tornado was coming straight for you, and you couldn’t move.
Tyler drove up next to you and smacked the button to start drilling the truck into the ground. Him and Boone jumped out of the car. Tyler raced to your side.
He quickly kicked in your window. Tyler was a self-proclaimed adrenaline junkie, but he’d never felt his heart beat this fast.
He grabbed your arms and pulled you out the window, while Boone helped Javi out.
Tyler quickly swooped you up bridal style and ran towards his truck. Javi and Boone hopped into the driver and passenger seats. Tyler swung the back door open and climbed in with you in his arms.
As soon as the door closed, the tornado picked up Javi’s truck and sent it flying through the sky. Tyler only had time to get you buckled in the harness. He landed on top of you. He wrapped his arms your waist, holding on tightly.
You cupped the back of his head with your hand. His eyes were tightly closed as he buried his face in your neck.
You could feel how his whole body was shaking with fear. It wasn’t fear for himself. It was for you. He couldn’t stand the thought of you getting even a scratch.
Suddenly, the truck stopped shaking and the winds let up.
Tyler picked his head up to look at you. “Are you okay, sweetheart?” He whispered, pressing a kiss to your temple. You quickly nodded your head.
He rolled off of you and laid across the backseat. The car was silent except for all of you catching your breath. Tyler stared at the roof of the truck as his chest rapidly rose and fell.
He couldn’t bear to think about how close he came to losing you. You unbuckled the harness and jumped out of the car. “No, sweetheart wait,” Tyler said, weakly. He’d accepted that you wouldn’t listen.
You looked all around you at the damage. The grass was all torn up and debris had fallen everywhere. You saw Javi’s truck in the distance, it was completely smashed.
You heard Tyler jump out of the truck and walk over to you. He walked up behind you and set his hand comfortingly on your shoulder. “C’mon, sweetheart, we’ll give you a ride back.” He said, softly.
You shook your head and shrugged his hand off of you. “I’ll be fine. I’ll walk.” You argued, stubbornly. Tyler let out an exasperated sigh. He grabbed your hand tightly, not letting you pull away this time.
“I’m not letting you walk back. We’re at least five miles from the motel. You almost died, and you’re still being stubborn? Stop pushing me away and let me be here for you.” He snapped at you. Tyler was okay with giving you your space, but not when it put you in danger.
“I’m not the one pushing people away.” You remarked, pushing past him and getting in the back of the truck. Tyler sighed, defeated.
Boone and Javi gave you sympathetic smiles as Tyler got back in the truck and started driving to the motel.
As soon as he pulled into the parking lot, you jumped out of the car and headed towards your room. Tyler jumped out and was hot on your tail.
“Enough being stubborn,” he said, grabbing your arm and pulling you back towards his truck. Boone and Javi quickly hopped out and went to catch up with the rest of the teams.
Tyler kept a tight grip on your arm while he grabbed the first aid kit from the bed of the truck. He flung the tailgate open. In a swift motion, he picked you up and sat you on the tailgate before joining you.
“I know for some reason you’re pissed at me, which I still don’t understand cause you were fine last night. But you have a giant cut on your arm, and it needs to be cleaned, okay?” He said, setting your arm across his lap.
You felt bad for ignoring Tyler when he was being sweet, but then you’d remember that he spent all night with someone else wrapped around him, and your blood would start to boil.
He softly wiped your arm with a cleaning wipe. He gave your hand a quick squeeze when you winced at the sting. You gave in a little and rested your head on Tyler’s shoulder.
You didn’t see the way he smiled down at you. He was looking at you like you were his everything. He carefully bandaged your arm up.
You both sat in silence for a few minutes. He rested his hand on your back, softly rubbing his thumb back and forth. Tyler’s touch still comforted you more than you cared to admit.
“Watching your truck flip over really fucking scared me. I think my heart actually stopped beating for a second. I don’t know what I would have done if you got hurt.” He admitted.
His voice came out as a soft whisper in your ear. You were the only person he felt comfortable talking to about his feelings. Most of the time, those feelings were annoyance, but you were also the only girl Tyler had ever said “I love you” to.
“You’re the reason I didn’t get hurt. If you hadn’t helped, I would have died. I saw where the truck ended up. It was completely smashed up.” You said softly, a single tear rolling down your cheek.
He brushed your hair out of your face and kissed your temple. “I’m always gonna be there for you. You’re my everything. You make all of this make sense.” He told you.
You picked your head up off his shoulder to look at him in shock. Tyler had been acting nicer to you, but a love confession was not what you expected. Not after he spent the night with someone else.
“Oh, come on, Tyler,” you groaned, giving a deadpan look. He didn’t respond. He searched your eyes for some clue as to how you were feeling. This wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. He’d been expecting you to either kiss him or slap him across the face again.
“What? Is it so hard to believe?” He asked, resting his hand on your knee.
“I know that you don’t mean that because if you did, you wouldn’t have been with that girl last night.” You snapped at him. He froze. He genuinely thought he misheard you.
“What girl from last night?” He asked you, furrowing his eyebrows at you. His brain was running through everything from last night, and he had no idea what you were talking about. “I went to your room last night, and I heard you with a girl.” You told him, thinking he was just playing dumb.
His look of confusion turned into a subtle smirk. “You went to my room last night?” He asked, rubbing his thumb over your knee. You hadn’t realized that you’d handed him some of the power. He was giddy as he realized that if you had found him last night, you both would’ve had a one night stand.
“All you got from that was I went to your room? You’re ridiculous.” You said, rolling your eyes at him. That flirty smile never left his face. “Why’d you go to my room?” He asked, even though you both knew damn well why you went.
You put your head in your hands. You shouldn’t have been surprised that Tyler was still acting like a child after all these years. You lightly smacked his arm, trying to get rid of the cocky look on his face. “Would it shut you up if I told you I wanted to have sex with you last night?” You asked him.
His eyes ran down your frame. Something about hearing it from your lips made it ten times more satisfying.
“I’m really flattered, sweetheart. I guess you always know where to go for a good time.” He said, winking at you.
“It doesn’t matter anyway.” You said, crossing your arms and huffing at him. He chuckled to himself as he watched you pouting.
“It does matter cause I share a room with Boone. He was with a girl. I slept in my truck.” He told you with a giant smirk. You had been feeling jealous and angry, but your expression morphed into one of complete shock. Tyler chuckled at your clear surprise.
You flicked him in the forehead. “I’ve been mad at you all day because I thought you were just trying to sleep around with every girl here.” You told him, like you were reprimanding a child.
He shrugged and raised his eyebrows. “If you had just been honest with me, I would have told you that. But, you decided to pout all day.” He teased you.
“So, you’re telling me if I had just texted you last night…” you started to say. He quickly nodded his head. “Yep, I could have done whatever dirty little thing you had in mind.” He said, with a twinkle in his eye.
Your eyes went wide as you imagined what could have happened. “So, what do you think? Is it too late now?” You asked him, looking up at him through your eyelashes.
Tyler practically dragged you off the truck, and he kicked the tailgate closed with his foot. His rough hand quickly found yours and interlaced your fingers. He tugged you towards your room.
You both sprinted up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. You made it to the door first, leaning back against it. Tyler stopped for a second, admiring you and looking your whole body up and down.
You felt like a supermodel when Tyler looked at you. It was like he was always trying to commit every detail of you to memory.
You grabbed the collar of his flannel and tugged him towards you. His lips met yours in a heated rush. His rough calloused fingers slipped under your tshirt and ran over your stomach.
“I fuckin’ love you.” Tyler mumbled into the kiss as you raked your fingers through his hair. You both paused for a second, realizing the gravity of what he’d just confessed. It’d been years since he last told you he loved you.
“I love you too, Tyler Owens.” You said, softly. His lips crashed back into yours. He took your bottom lip between his teeth and playfully tugged at it. Your soft whimper was muffled as Tyler kissed you, but he heard it.
He let his hands slide down the curve of your back. They stopped at your ass, giving it a playful squeeze. You arched your back, pushing yourself into him. “Oh, fuck, sweetheart,” Tyler praised you.
You blindly reached for the door handle, managing to slip it open without breaking the kiss. You stumbled backwards into the room as Tyler guided you.
The door slammed as Tyler kicked it shut. He sloppily kissed you, wanting to memorize the taste of your lips. Your legs bumped into the edge of the bed. “Tyler, just need a second,” you mumbled against the kiss, struggling to pull away as he hungrily kissed you.
You kicked off your shoes and shimmied out of your jeans. Tyler took the hint and did the same with his boots and jeans. “I’ve got this, sweetheart,” he said, grabbing the hem of your damp tshirt and slowly peeling it off of you.
He carelessly let it drop to the floor as his eyes landed on your black lace bra. “Oh, fuck, beautiful. You’re gonna be the end of me.” He said as he stared at you speechless.
You crawled backwards onto the bed, propping yourself up on your elbows. “Then, come join me.” You encouraged him. His fingers eagerly fumbled with the buttons on his flannel before he flung it to the side.
He practically pounced on top of you. Your eyes were glued to his chest, admiring his toned abs. “You know what that look does to me.” He teased you. Nothing was better for his ego than watching you drool over him.
He grabbed the back of your neck and leaned in to kiss you. Feeling Tyler’s bare chest against you was enough to make you see stars. You gripped onto his muscular shoulders. Your stomach did flips every time you felt his muscles flex under your fingers.
“You’re so beautiful,” he complimented you, weaving his fingers through your hair.
Your finger trailed down his chest, stopping right before you got to his boxers. He pushed his hips against you, in anticipation. “Patience, cowboy,” you teased.
Your fingers slipped past the waistband of his boxers. You wrapped your fingers around his cock. His grip on your hair tightened, and he bit down on his lip. “Feels like heaven, sweetheart,” he let out a breathy moan.
You ran your hand up and down his length a few times. Each time, he jutted his hips into your hand. Your thumb ran over the tip, and a whole string of curse words came flowing out of Tyler’s mouth.
“That’s enough, sweetheart. I don’t wanna cum til I’m inside you. Let me get you warmed up though.” He instructed. You shuddered at his strict tone. He pulled your hand out of your boxers, and then pulled your panties down your legs. You quickly unfastened your bra and threw it to the side.
Tyler grabbed the back of your thighs and roughly pulled you towards him. Before you knew it, he’d hooked your legs over his shoulders. You whimpered as you felt his hot breath between your legs.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I remember exactly how you like it.” He teased, winking up at you. He laid his tongue flat against your folds and licked a thick stripe.
You bucked your hips up against his face, which only encouraged him more. He grabbed your thighs, making sure you couldn’t pull away.
He teased your entrance, watching as your back arched against the sheets. “Just desperate for me, aren’t you?” He asked, cockily. You furiously nodded your head as you bit down on your bottom lip.
He dove in, licking in the shape of small figure eights. You moaned his name, turning him on even more. Tyler loved to hear you whine and moan his name. It was his favorite sound.
Wanting to hear it again, he lightly sucked on your clit. “Oh, fuck, Tyler.” You mumbled, grabbing his hair and grinding down on his face. Tyler loved making you desperate enough that you took a little control. He licked circles around your clit, speeding up each time he heard a breathy moan.
You looked down at him and admired the sight. There was nothing hotter than the image of Tyler with his face buried between your legs. In bed, Tyler never did anything half-assed.
You grabbed at the sheets, balling them up in your fists. Your knuckles turned white as you got closer. You repeated his name like you were a broken wind-up toy. It drove Tyler crazy.
You felt a tightening in your stomach as Tyler gave more attention to your clit. Your thighs squeezed around his head, only egging him on more. “Baby, yes yes,” you screamed, almost pornographically.
Before you could warn him, Tyler felt your legs start shaking as you hit your orgasm. You called out his name as you felt yourself clenching. “Such a good girl, you ready for another round?” He coaxed.
You were gasping for air, but you quickly nodded your head. Tyler chuckled at your eagerness. He kicked off his boxers and laid on top of you.
“You did so good, baby. Don’t worry, I’ll do all the work. You relax and cum for me again.” He said, wiping your hair off your sweaty forehead. You pecked his lips, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.
He deepened the kiss and pushed his cock into you. You gasped as you adjusted to his size. “You seem impressed, like I haven’t fucked you a thousand times.” Tyler teased, planting kisses along your jawline.
“I forgot how fuckin’ big you are.” You moaned. You knew his ego needed boosting every now and then, and you weren’t lying.
“I love filling you up like this. You feel like heaven— so tight for me.” He moaned as he thrusted back into you.
Hearing his sweaty skin slap against yours only turned you on more. You thrusted your hips up to meet his. Tyler let out a low moan as your nails scratched down his back. He grabbed your thighs and wrapped your legs around his waist.
He pushed even deeper into you. Your breath got caught in your throat. “Come on, baby, just like that.” You encouraged him. He sped up his pace, pounding into you.
The bed frame thudded against the wall repeatedly. Neither of you cared about pissing off the neighbors. Your eyes rolled back as he hit your g-spot.
“I know you’re close, baby. I feel it.” He groaned. Every time you squeezed down on his cock, his hips bucked into yours.
His thumb found your clit and started rubbing tight circles. Your moans got higher pitched and louder as you felt your stomach begin to tighten.
“Baby, I’m gonna cum,” you warned him. His pushed his hips deeper into yours. Your legs were starting to shake. “Me too, honey. Cum with me.” He instructed. You pushed your hips up to meet each of his thrusts. You caught a glimpse of how his cock got buried inside of you with every thrust.
You both were starting to see stars. “O-ohh, fuck, baby. I’m gonna—” Tyler moaned as his hips jutted into yours. He pumped you full of his cum. It was enough to send you over the edge. Your orgasm hit you, and you sunk your nails into Tyler’s shoulders, leaving crescent-shaped indents.
He slowed his thrusts as you squeezed onto his cock. He rested his head on your shoulder, catching his breath. You raked your fingers through his hair, kissing his temple.
He rolled off of you and collapsed next to you. “That was fucking magic, sweetheart.” He said, pressing soft kisses to your shoulder. You interlaced your fingers with his, giving his hand a quick squeeze.
“Guess we need to stay together to keep each other sane.” You mumbled, catching your breath. Tyler chucked. “Oh, you’re never getting rid of me again.” He said, pecking your lips.
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tastesousweet · 10 months ago
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Can we get a toxic!babydaddy Matt fic like I’m craving something about my man like it’s been days and I haven’t eaten
⭒ blurb : toxic!bd matt who . . .
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toxic!babydaddy matt x poc!reader
warnings: toxic relationship, dad!matt (i understand if u don’t fw it), idk what else :P
mickey speaks: this is kinda different for me so ty for the req!! ik this is just a little headcannon set but i hope you luv this anon 💐
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TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . brings some girl he’s been “hanging out with” to your daughter’s third birthday party just to piss you off
he’d then get mad when you ignore him and his “friend” the entire party…
he’d come up to you as you watch your daughter play on the decorated playground from afar, “the fuck you bein’ petty for, y/n? i thought we were cool with seeing other people?”
“well i just think it’s rude, you didn’t tell me you were bringing anyone else. i don’t care who she is or what you two do it’s annoying from a planning perspective.”
“that’s my bad… you look good though,” he’d glance around for a second before coming behind you and hooking his arm on your neck.
he’d whisper in your ear while you both stare out at your lively daughter, “can’t believe she’s so big now… lookin’ just like her pretty mama.”
you’d roll your eyes and shoulder matt off of you, “matt, go fuck on the bitch you brought here. and stop saying shit like that to me.”
“jesus- watch your language there’s kids everywhere, y/n.”
you blankly stare at him and his cocky smirk that just aggravates you to pieces, “go awayyy, matt.” you whine out and pinch your eyes with a sigh.
and he laughs because everything’s a fucking joke to him.
TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . your friends hate but you will always have a soft spot for, he is your daughter’s father after all
TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . sends hundreds of roses to your doorstep for mother’s day
when you text him a picture of the ridiculous bouquets with a “????” he immediately facetimes you, “for the best mama in the whole world. you like ‘em?”
you shake your head and hide a smirk beneath your hand to scold him, “you do too much, matt.”
“uh huh i knew you’d say that…” he’d then ask to see his favorite girl, “now where’s my baby at?”
TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . can’t mind his business to save his life. he’s always asking you questions about your personal life; and you always shut him down
TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . can sometimes be a little too desirable when he drops your daughter off at your place (dressed nicely, smelling good, eyes bright yet droopingly eye-fucking you, etc), leading you to invite him in for a glass of wine or two
TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . you sometimes find in your bed again when you feel particularly lonely and nostalgic
TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . loves the few times he gets to to wake up to his daughter pulling on his hand and you by his side, fast asleep
TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . tends to start arguments from the smallest things to get you to talk to him longer than you need to
TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . will always put effort into being a great father (which you respect) despite never putting that same effort into your relationship
TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . makes sure you’ll never forget he loved you first and is connected to you far deeper than any other man ever could be
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axiina · 1 year ago
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I saw your post about writing for Coriolanus Snow Andi was thinking classic enemies to lovers nsfw I’ll give you free liberty with everything else 💕
'I hate you' is new 'I love you'
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Pairing: Coriolanus Snow x capitol!reader (gender neutral afab)
Summary: When your professor tells you to come to an agreement with your enemy, and you take 'come' too literally.
Words: 3.2k
Themes: smut, nsfw
Warnings: using of 'you' to reader, set before events of tbosas so no actual spoilers, more like academic rivals to lovers but they want to fight at some point so I guess it counts, NSFW | public sex (or more semi-public), unprotected sex (wrap it before tap it), p in v sex, kinda toxic but it's enemies to lovers, more like enemies who fuck, Coryo is pretty rough and possessive, marking, making out, idiots in love but they prefer fighting with each other
Author's note: I found some free time between studying, so I decided that I can no longer delay. English is not my first language so i hope that i didn't do too much mistakes. It is possible that a single "she" or "her" will appear here because I changed the concept during writing and I do not know if I got rid of everything. Let me know whether to stay with the use of 'you' or maybe replace it with personal pronouns or 'y/n'. I hope it's not written very awkwardly and you will like it!!
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Coriolanus Snow is a peculiar person. Most people love him. Nice, classy, handsome and rich from a wealthy family. What more could one want? However, one of Coriolanus' traits that everyone seems to turn a blind eye to is his two-facedness. Some say this is merely a symptom of his cunning and wits. He knows when and how to behave to make his counterpart happy. You are not one of those people. Saying that you and Coriolanus Snow don't like each other is a huge understatement. You guys hate each other. From the very beginning when you both met at the academy it was known that you would cause a lot of problems. Too much of a character difference, or perhaps too much of a similarity between the two. However, this is not what is crucial. Whatever it is, it makes you two most likely to kill each other if you could. Every move you make you do to screw each other up. To prove who is better.
Professor Satyria's pleas for you to finally come to an agreement are of little use. The conflict must go on, and neither of you has any intention of giving up.
You like the way things are working out. At first, Snow was annoying and you didn't understand how people couldn't see him for what he really was. Fake. Now he is still annoying, but getting under his skin has become a sort of routine. Quite a pleasant one.
"You have to get along with each other and set a good example as rightful citizens of the Capitol, otherwise the Academy will draw out the consequences."
Professor Satyria's words continue to ring in your ears as you get ready to go home after finishing classes and doing punishment work. On the one hand, you don't want something as silly as arguing to weigh on your future, but on the other hand, reaching out to agree is like admitting you were wrong. Failure.
"Wherever I am you must also appear. Are you obsessed with me?" Behind your back, you heard a familiar, annoyingly kind voice, in which you could sense some arrogance. You groaned turning around to see no one else but Coriolanus.
"Don't you have anything better to do? People are finally getting tired of your idiocy?" Your words, however, did not budge the blond. His expression remained unchanged. One that might make most people think he is a nice person. You, however, have known him long enough to see right through it. Perfect. Too perfect.
"We need to talk. A positive outcome for both sides. It will interest you." Well, the threat of Satyria. He is the first one to extend his hand for agreement. Where is the trick? You look at him suspiciously without saying a word, and so Snow takes it as a sign that you are thinking about the proposition. "Do you have free time? Maybe we could go out somewhere together?"
The suggestion makes you burst into laughter. "With you? No thanks, I'll pass on this pleasure."
Coriolanus is not surprised by your answer. He knew it wouldn't be that easy. Accepting rejection, however, is not his strong point. He is annoyed by your behaviour, but he bites his tongue to avoid responding in the same spiteful way. Instead, he doesn't give up.
"I know we were never on good terms, but I want this war between us to end. I hope we can put behind us all the bad things that happened between us and start fresh. What do you think about this?" he says, sounding quite sincere.
"Let me think." You say and sigh, pondering the answer, which is obvious, but you can't let go of a little malice. "No."
The expression on Snow's face became more serious. It seems that your refusal offended his pride. But he doesn't show it in his tone of voice.
"Why not?" he asks and you notice how he clenches his jaw and his gaze becomes unpleasant.
You enjoy the view and it fills you with satisfaction. "Because you think that with a pretty face and fake politeness, you can get anything. Maybe it works with others, but I'm not that stupid. Additionally, you are damn annoying. That's why."
The expression on Snow's face becomes dark. Typical when he fails to get what he wants. His usual tone is completely gone. His face is twisted with anger. He still tries to maintain a polite voice. The attempt fails.
"Do you want to repeat it?" he asks through his teeth. It's obvious that you've hit one of his sensitive points. That was the plan.
"Exhausting, isn't it? Hiding behind the mask of a nice and put-together boy from a highly placed family who is a veritable ideal is tiring, isn't it?" A mockery can be heard in your voice. Coriolanus is very sensitive to it.
"What do you think you know about me?" He asks through clenched teeth, his tone no longer artificially polite, it is filled with rage. Your mockery has really gotten to him. He tries to calm down, but it's all in vain. Coriolanus has never had problems with self-control, but something about you makes him ready to abandon everything. You manage to get him off balance with ease. In his head, he has one plan. To destroy you.
"Do you think you pretend so well?" You burst out laughing and shake your head. You know you shouldn't say such things. The academy is practically empty, and Coriolanus's angry enough can be unpredictable. However, you can't help but point out everything that annoys you about him. "It's actually quite easy to see what kind of person you are. You look at people with disgust, but when they look in your direction, you suddenly change dramatically. how fake you are to everyone. I wonder how they don't see it. How empty and shallow you are."
"You don't know anything about me!" Snow shouts at you, his face twisted with rage. He is barely able to control himself. He doesn't even try to hide it anymore. He stares at you with hatred in his eyes.
"Don't you dare assume that you know everything about me. You don't know me one bit. You don't know what my life is like. Don't think so highly of yourself. You aren't better than me." He continues, his voice getting louder with every word he says. You really hit his sensitive spot.
"I don't know everything and I'm not going to pretend otherwise. For me, the most important thing is acts, and in your case, they are fake and two-faced. You despise people, and you yourself are at the bottom." Irritation takes over. You know that at any moment you can say one word too many if you haven't already. However, someone has to talk it all out for him. Adrenaline makes you take a step closer to the upset boy without considering the possible consequences.
Snow seems to be on the verge of a breakdown. His fists are clenched and his eyes are wide open with rage. He is breathing hard, trying to control himself. He's not used to being treated this way by anyone. He has come this far over the years, solely because of himself and what role he has taken in society. You really succeeded in hurting his pride. "I warn you right now. Don't mock me any further."
"Why? What will you do? hit me? do it, I dare you. Then everyone will see how "perfect" you really are." You know the situation is starting to get dangerous. However, you come closer. It's stupid, you know it, and yet you do it. Maybe it's the way his reactions give you satisfaction, or maybe it's the way he looks at you.
You can see the hatred oozing from his eyes when they are locked on yours. His face is full of rage, his breathing heavy and his muscles tense.
He takes a step toward you with a clenched fist. You can see his knuckles turning white. He grabs you and presses you against the wall, his body against yours.
A second later, you feel him pressing you against the wall tighter than before, and his hand grips your throat.
You feel the warmth of his breath on your lips. Your heart is pounding as if it wants to jump out of your chest. You feel a strange sensation in your lower abdomen. His eyes are cold, yet they make a pleasant shiver run through your body. His face is right next to yours, flesh pressing against yours. It was a matter of split seconds as you two pressed your lips to each other in an aggressive and hungry kiss.
He returns the kiss, wrapping his free hand around you. He seems to enjoy the kiss as much as you do.
You can feel his body trembling as he still tries to keep control of his overwhelming emotions, or maybe it's because of the situation you're in.
The two of you kiss aggressively. Snow's body shakes as he fights between his desire and how much you get on his nerves. You feel how rough but passionate his kiss is.
He draws you closer and your bodies press against each other. The friction of your bodies makes you uncontrollable over the muffled whimpers you make. You feel the bulge forming in his pants rubbing against your body.
The situation seems hazy, and only fragments register in your mind. How you both enter the bathroom without stopping your hungry and clumsy kisses, and your hands work to get rid of clothes that only makes it difficult. How Coriolanus presses your body against the wall slamming his hips against yours.
All this is to express yourself and give vent to all the negative emotions you have been holding for years.
Snow's body is now almost completely controlled by his emotions. His movements seem full of hatred and at the same time passion. He just wants to express himself using his flesh to claim you as his own.
You feel as if you are on fire, your body moves and reacts according to your desires. The tension that has built up between you for years is finally released, and it all comes out as raw passion.
His fast and aggressive movements make the place where your bodies meet burn in a pleasant way, and you think to yourself that it will be a miracle if you walk normally tomorrow. His dick stretches you nicely and his movements make your inside sting slightly. It's not a problem for now. Not now when your legs are wrapped around his waist and the only sounds you can make right now are moaning and repeating his name like a mantra.
Your body trembles at how rough his movements are, but you don't care now. The most important thing for you now is to show him how much you hate him. A broken moan leaves your lips when he reaches deeper.
Coriolanus feels your legs tighten around him. He moves slower now but is more passionate and rough. He holds your hips tightly, not caring if it is uncomfortable for you. His lips move to your neck, where he bites as if he is trying to unload all the emotions you are causing you this way.
His hips buck firmly against you. Each thrust makes your body more tired and aching but at the same time, it makes the whole experience even more pleasurable. If someone told you that you would end up having sex with your biggest rival in the academy bathroom, you would laugh in that person's face. There you are, panting, with your arms around his neck when Coriolanus Snow is abusing your cunt sensitive from too much friction.
Coriolanus brings his lips closer to your ear. His warm and irregular breathing makes a shiver go through your body. "Do you like it when I claim you as mine?" He purrs, his voice still filled with desire.
"I hate you, I hate you so much," You exhale in a trembling voice that takes a lot of trouble to keep from cracking. You bite and suck at the smooth skin of his neck, leaving there dark marks. "I hate you, Coriolanus Snow."
"I hate you too," Snow says with a low growl as he continues to hold you. He bites your shoulder, leaving marks on your skin. His moans are muffled by your skin, which he touches constantly, as if afraid that at any moment you might escape and leave behind only a faint memory.
You hate him, but you enjoy him. You are pleased when he takes you as his own. You are excited when he uses your body. You feel his passion and desire through his body. You feel his raw passion and it's hard to hate him now.
"oh go to hell" You hiss and bite your lower lip to stop your moans, feeling him moving faster.
He doesn't care if he hurts you or not. All he cares about is that you belong to him right now. His hips slam against yours in an aggressive peace. The bathroom is filled with sinful noises because you don't even think about the fact that someone might come in and hear them.
"you may have already fallen in love, but with me, it's not so easy" A trembling laugh leaves your lips. You feel your head getting foggier and foggier. It's hard for you to put together a meaningful sentence, "but you're doing a good job" a loud moan leaves your mouth. you close your eyes and throw your head back "mmm my sweet toy."
He hears your moans of pleasure, and his eyes close with a smile. He has won and he knows it. Snow always lands on top. He presses you against the wall with his body even tighter. His movements become more sloppy and deeper as if he wants to bury himself inside you. His body trembles as his lips leave broken moans and whimpers.
Passion is so strong that you can almost forget about hatred. You can almost fall in love with Coriolanus Snow. Almost. But you know that what you feel now is only lust, and you know that it's all temporary.
Not him. Not the arrogant boy whose whole life is based on lies. Not that boy who doesn't care about anyone. Not that boy with a beautiful face and mesmerizing blue eyes. Not him.
You press closer to his body, almost clinging to him as a wave of pleasure sweeps over your body.
Coriolanus lets out a raspy throaty moan feeling your walls pulsate around him. His voice is low and shaky. He doesn't seem to notice anything except the way you cling to his body. He moves faster and harder, making sure he satisfies you completely.
Snow is fully immersed in feelings. He can't think clearly or rationally. He only knows that he has to claim you, that he has to satisfy his needs. He wants to feel you and make the most of the situation. All his thoughts and desires are focused on you. His hip movements speed up as he reaches the climax. He hides his face in your neck to muffle his moans. His body stiffs as he comes inside you.
Your arms wrapped around his neck, while his wrapped around your waist. you cling to each other, still not making contact with the real world as your breathing slowly calms down.
What happened in that bathroom is over, they both return to reality. Snow steps back slightly and helps you stand on your own two feet. He looks at you with heavy eyes. All the emotions he had been hiding inside him had finally been released.
He has won and he knows it. He has succeeded. But what now? Was it really worth it? This is not a question for now. Coriolanus does not look far into that future with his thoughts.
You look at each other in silence. Slowly you begin to realize what you have done and now you look at each other awkwardly and somewhat panicked.
Coriolanus is the first to break the silence. His cheeks are flushed and his breathing is faster. The passion he felt a minute ago still lingers in his heart, something he tries to hide from you. He looks at you with a somewhat absent and uncertain gaze
"Do you think we should forget what just happened?" He tries to make his voice sound normal as if nothing had happened.
"Definitely." The words leave your lips before you have time to think. You stare at each other in silence for a few more moments and begin to quickly put on your clothes.
Snow is surprised at how quickly you agree with him. He needs to make sure this is the end of what just happened between the two of you, so he adds.
"If anyone asks, it never happened." He now looks at you with a somewhat panicked expression on his face.
"You don't have to tell me," you scoff, buttoning your shirt, "if you tell even one soul, I'll kill you, I swear."
Coriolanus looks at you with small amusement while fixing his jacket. "I hope you won't become obsessed with me after this."
"Maybe in your dreams," you say with a slight smile fixing the collar of his shirt. " you better be careful that you are the one who will be lost in memories of me." Before you leave the bathroom you stop in front of the mirror and fix your uniform and hair. Coriolanus smiles for a moment but then quickly clears his throat and tries to look cold.
You both come out of the bathroom, look at each other and part your lips, as if to say something to each other, but you look at each other in silence "Now everything is back to normal. We can still hate each other," you say, but this does not improve your mood at all.
"It never happened," Snow says trying to look you in the eyes, wondering if you're thinking about it too. He wonders if what he feels is real, or if it's just a moment of passion.
"Never" You agree by nodding your head. Your gaze goes down to his mouth. As you look into his eyes again without a moment's thought you move closer to him and press your lips to his in-hungry kiss. He kisses you back wrapping his arms around you to bring your body closer.
You parts away after some time and you both catch your breath for a moment after this passionate kiss. Coriolanus is completely consumed with passion and there is nothing in his mind but you.
You move away and nod to each other as if you have just made a deal and each is walking in your own direction in a much better mood.
Maybe that's not exactly what Professor Satyria meant when she said you two should come to an agreement, but it certainly worked.
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lovebugism · 1 year ago
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fictober idea (if ure up for smut): eddie & reader go to a haunted house. eddie, obviously, gets a boner bc hes a weirdo. reader notices & begs to touch him right here, right now even tho theyve never done anything in public before. so, eddie finds a place to *kinda* hide & reader gets him off, but ofc, eddie cant let reader go without cumming as well.
thanks for requesting :D — eddie gets turned on protecting you at a haunted house, and you obv have to reward him for it (smut 18+, 1.5k)
fictober leftovers (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ)
Eddie’s been called a freak his whole life. He knew he was different since he could understand what being different meant, and if that made him a weirdo, then so be it. But now he thinks everyone might’ve been right about him. He’s a complete, utter, and total freak.
He walks with you through a haunted house, surrounded by creepy masks and fake blood and your screams, and he’s hard. His dick’s as stiff as a rock and throbbing with a distant ache when most people are scared out of their minds.
It’s all your fault, honestly. You’re clinging to him with an ironclad grip and using him as a shield every time something jumps out at you. Eddie can’t even be scared with you because all he can think about is how masculine he feels protecting you like this. Metalhead freaks like him never get to feel this way — all manly and muscly and brave.
And even though it’s hard to walk while adjusting his pants every five steps, Eddie thinks he’s hiding it pretty well. Well, he was, anyway. Until your ass brushes against his lap, and you clock him immediately.
Trapped in a secluded area of the haunted house, lit up red and blaring the Halloween theme song, you spin around to face him. “Are you hard?” you ask him over the music, face twisted in confusion. You’re not weirded out by it exactly, just genuinely puzzled.
Eddie freezes, chocolate eyes wide. He plays coy despite being caught red-handed. “No.”
You shoot him a deadpanned look, brows raised as you peer at him through your lashes.
He caves. “…Yes.”
“Does scary shit turn you on?” you wonder, laughing softly.
“No!” he responds with a dramatic drawl, sounding more offended than he should be. He is standing rock-hard in the middle of a haunted house, after all. He shifts his weight on his feet and stammers for an answer. “I just… I like being able to protect you and… everything.”
“Aw…” you hum, melting into a puddle at his feet. “That’s kinda sweet, actually.”
Eddie’s visibly surprised by your response. He was prepared to get made fun of at best — slapped and dumped entirely at worst. But here you are, all but admiring how much of a freak your boyfriend is.
“Wait, really?”
You shrug. “Yeah. Especially considering last Halloween, the guy I was dating left me behind at a haunted house.”
“Pussy…” Eddie grumbles under his breath.
“Exactly,” you giggle. “So this is definitely an upgrade.”
Your palms smooth up his chest and over his shoulders. Your fingers entwine behind his neck, halfway embracing him in the middle of the haunt. His hands settle warm and wide on your sides. He squeezes you gently there and lets out a sigh of relief.
“I’m just glad you don’t think I’m a total freak,” he confesses with a forced chuckle. 
“Oh, I definitely think you’re a freak,” you retort in a monotone, then flash him a sickly sweet smile. “I’m just too obsessed with you to care.”
Eddie nods and tries not to smile too wide when you lean in to kiss him. “Noted,” he murmurs.
You do a whole lot more than just kiss him, though. You open his mouth with your own and lick inside with a confident tongue. You take the breath from his lungs with little effort, leaving him more breathless than he has been all night.
“Wanna suck you off,” you murmur, slurred and muffled against his mouth.
He jerks away from you on instinct. He couldn’t hide his shock if he tried. “Huh?” he wonders in a tone that borders on cartoonish. His soft features twist in confusion.
“I need your cock in my mouth like I need to breathe,” you confess with an unabashed groan.
Maybe he wasn’t the freak after all. Maybe this whole time, it was you.
“Well, that’sa tad bit dramatic, but—” You cut off his teasing by fussing with the buckle of his belt. His eyes widen in shock, but he doesn’t try to stop you. “Whoa. Okay. This is… This is great and everything, babe, but there’s— there’s people around. Someone could walk in.”
You look to your left, then to your right. There’s no one here but you and Eddie in this small square room, filled with a fiery red like the warmth swirling in your belly. You blink at him with doe eyes and shrug innocently. “I don’t see anyone.”
Eddie breathes out a laugh, one mixed with amusement and disbelief. “I just don’t wanna us to get caught, babe,” he tells you, smoothing wide palms up and down your arms. “Don’t want you to get in trouble.”
“Do you want a blowjob or not?”
“Well, yeah, but I—”
“Good,” you hum with a smile before sinking to your knees in front of him.
Eddie’s too stunned to stop you. He doesn’t want to stop you.
Bathed in a sinful neon red, you unbutton his pants and free his half-hard cock from the confines of his jeans. You tug at the hem of his underwear until his heavy balls hang over the plaid fabric. 
“Shit,” he mutters when you press a sweet kiss to his weeping tip. He bites back a moan when you swirl your tongue around the bulbous strawberry head. “Shit— you’re so fucking hot.”
You worship his cock like it’s not just some random Tuesday in the middle of a haunted house. You don’t mean to, really, but he’s making such pretty noises for you — little puffs of tiny breaths and small whines he tries desperately to hide from you. 
His thighs twitch every time you run your tongue over the veins on the underside of him, going slow to feel the rapid pulse there. His fingers crawl in your hair, palms settling on your temples — not pushing you or pulling you away, just holding you as you suck gently at his aching cock.
His pink lips are parted, airing out little moans of ecstasy. His chocolate eyes are dark and glazed over in a honeyed look. His hair hangs over his face, wild and desperate to be pulled.
You let his tip linger in your mouth, drool pooling around him and soaking his twitching cock. The feeling makes him moan — a deep, hearty sound that stems from his chest. 
When his lolling head drops back, you take him in your fist. You don’t bother to work him up to a rapid pace. Using the lubrication of your spit, you jerk him with an expert hand and lick away the pearly beads of pre-cum he leaks for you.
“Ah, shit,” he groans, eyes rolled back before he squeezes them shut. “Oh, fuck, babe—”
You’re already opening your mouth for his cum before he can warn you it’s coming. You know him too well. You notice all the telltale signs before you think he does — the whimpers, the shaking thighs, the rambled moans, the way his balls draw slightly upward. You’re ready to accept his warm, salty loads the second he gives them to you. 
Eddie cups your warm cheek with a ringed hand. He tries to tell you he’s cumming, but his whines get in the way. He grunts quietly, tilting his head backward and holding tightly to you as cum pulses weakly from his slit. 
The tang dribbles over your tongue and mouth. You take it all with ease. You make a big show of it, too — lolling your tongue out of your mouth and letting his cum drip onto the softening pudge of his head. Eddie’s whole body twitches when you take his sensitive cock in your mouth again to swallow it down, like a goddamn lightning strike up his spine.
“How’d I—” His voice is hoarse, so he has to stop and clear his throat. You smile, lips swollen and spit-slick, as you tuck his soft cock back into his jeans and button them again. His eyes are half-lidded and darkened when you rise to full height. “How’d I get so fucking lucky with you, huh?”
You make a vague I don’t know sound and shrug your shoulders with an innocent grin. You lean into his palm when he puts his ringed hands on your jaw. 
“Jesus fucking christ— you’re so pretty, baby— fuck.”
He’s just rambling now, still a bit dazed from his orgasm. He kisses you harder than anyone’s ever been kissed before, stealing the air from your lungs with ease. It’s like he’s amazed by his own adoration for you — the sheer intensity of it — the way it makes him stupid enough to let you suck his cock in a poorly hidden spot of a haunted house.
You don’t get caught, though. 
Not really, anyway.
There’s a security camera in front of the door you leave from. You make sure to give it a little wave on your way out.
Eddie holds your hand the entire way back to his van, opening the door for you like a total gentleman. It’s not the passenger side door, though, but rather the one in the very back. 
“What are you doing?” you wonder, all innocent like you still don’t have the taste of his cum in your mouth.
Eddie just grins at you, lopsided and pink and boyish. “Gotta return the favor, don’t I?”
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imliterallyf7ckin9crazy · 23 days ago
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꧁⋆°𝓢𝓺𝓾𝓲𝓭 𝓖𝓪𝓶𝓮 𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓭 𝓒𝓪𝓷𝓷𝓸𝓷𝓼°⋆꧂
Season 2 Squid game men finding someone they knew in the real world in the game.
Warnings: death, drugs, poverty, typical cannon stuff.
Characters: players 001, 230, 124.
______
ᏢᏝ���ᎽᎬᏒ 001
- so this one is kinda tricky bc I struggle to imagine a world where in-ho lets you in the game. Though he can ensure your survival he wouldn’t like using you as a piece in his games
- let’s say you did though (might write a full fic on this) you are his spouse or what have you, and he informed you of his plans to join the game once gi-hun had been captured. You clearly had your objections, trying your best to keep him from such dangers.
- but he doesn’t listen. He says things like “you just wouldn’t understand”, “I told you my work was dangerous, why is it different now”, or “no you can’t come with, you couldn’t survive it”
- and you actually did try to ask to go with, you fool. And he really didn’t like that.
- “darling” he would say in a low voice, clearly frustrated with your constant pleading. “I already told you no.” He’d stay sternly, a warning.
- but as we know, in-ho has a thing for people he can’t fully control. So, using the freedom you so painstakingly earned from being jussst obedient enough, you fly out to the central place of Korea (where he collects his players) and wait. And then you see gong Yoo, a very very trusted salesman
- now, all in-hos employees know OF you. They know you exist and are off limits, that’s about it. They don’t know what you look like, because up till now they never had to. You play the little game, get slapped around a few times before obtaining your precious card. Dialing the number and waiting to be picked up
- and when he sees your face pop up in the player profile picture screen he danm near busts a blood vessel. That explains why you didn’t answer the phone. To think he thought you were just being petty…
- he is very, very mad at you. Going behind his back, sneaking into his game- the game he specifically said you could NOT play. But under all that there was this feeling of want. Very much a “just wait till we get home” moment.
- just before joining the games he made a small but important demand. Which was no matter what, you were not to be killed.
-after he officially joined the game and talked to gi-hun briefly after voting, he went to find you. And when he did you could tell how lucky you were to be in a room full of people. So he had to act like he didn’t know you. But when no one was looking he’d come over to you.
- “what the hell are you doing here?” He’d whisper to you, almost a growl as his hand grips tightly around your forearms “what was the one thing I told you, darling?”
- but he knew he couldn’t do what he wanted, not with all these eyes. And you knew that too. Responding with a “I don’t know what you’re talking about, young-il.” And smile as gi-hun and his group rejoined you both
- keeps his eyes on you all the time. You are never too far across the room from him, just in case. He is in your team for every game, saving you in ways that shouldn’t technically count but did now because he’s the frontman
- you two might eventually start having fun playing the games. Bonding more through team work, having each others backs, covering for each other. Since you are both lying there’s more risk, but over time in-ho starts to think it’s actually more amusing to lie and cheat and deceive with you than without. Though you guess it’s only fun when you can’t die from it
- over all, you safe as hell while you in those games. When it’s all over though, you might find yourself in some crazy trouble.
ᏢᏝᎯᎽᎬᏒ 230
(F!reader sorry)
- ah, the legend thanos. Where do I begin with this little freak
- you met him at a club, actually.
- you were there casually with a few friends like most people are. Dancing, drinking, kicking back. That’s when suddenly there was this huge commotion. Girls rushing to the front door, leaving everything, drinks and purses in all.
- seems like someone popular rolled through. You and your friend joke about how the person must be lucky having all these girls practically tossing themselves at them and continued on with your night
- eventually, one by one, all of your friends met some cute boy or girl and left you to your own devices at the bar. A shitty move on their part, leaving you alone in a club for a fling. ‘But whatever’ you think, taking a long sip before going back to glaring at the bar table. That was until you heard a males voice come up from behind you
- “hey hey, señorita. All by yourself here?”
- your head snapped to the direction of the voice, leading your gaze to a young man with purple hair, tatted to hell and back. You gave him a look of annoyance, gripping your drink. “I mean, do you see me with anyone?” You replied sarcastically, turning your head away from him again
- “ahh so angry~ very scary” he says back confidently, coming around to sit in the stool next to you, resting his arm around the back of your stool. “How bout I buy you a drink, huh? Whatcha think?” He says, wiggling his eyebrows
- “I already have one” you reply dryly, causing him to roll his eyes dramatically, shaking your chair slightly
- “cmon pretty, don’t be so cold. Don’t you recognize me?” He says, lifting his arms up as if to say ‘see?’. But he gives you a look of confusion when you don’t nod. In fact, you just cocked your head to the side and look at him like he was an extraterrestrial creature. “Wait, you don’t know me?” He asks in disbelief, now he was the one with the bewildered look
- you giggled a bit at his face and shook your head. And he took that laugh and RAN.
“Well if you think this is so funny, why don’t you get to know me. I’m thanos, the legend” he says cockily.
- ah, that’s what the rage was about.
- just like that the rest was history. He took you everywhere with him. Sharing illegal substances in random clubs and venues. He even let you in his studio. (Thank god he always remembers to turn the mics off)
- he shows his true self with you. The parts of him that aren’t confident but insecure. The parts that are depressed instead of euphoric. The side of him that can’t live without love and attention. He really struggles with depression and often thought that he was nothing, never enough, washed up without even getting big. But you bring him back down.
- before investing in bit coins and shit, he makes pretty good money. He buys you all types of things and takes you all kinds of places
- not secretive on his drug use, it’s very much a part of his lifestyle and he’s honest about that.
- that being said he gets kinda wacko off stuff sometimes. He just acts different, not like himself. Like if someone was trying to pretended to be him only it was him, if that makes sense. It’s one of the few times you guys will argue. But he’s pretty scary and hard to deal with when he’s on certain things. He always feels bad after. Especially if he snaps at you and makes you sad, even high the sight of your frown activates him like a winter soldier and he hugs you and says sweet things.
- when he sees you in the end of the first game it takes him a moment to realize it was you. To be fair he was kinda coming off a high at the start of the game so his brain was operating slow(er than usual💀). But when it clicks he’s barreling towards you.
- “senorita !!” He calls, and when you turn he rushes even faster. “Senorita, what are you fucking doing here?” He says, patting you on the shoulders, spinning you to check for injury.
- “I was here to help you!!”
- that kinda put a chip in his heart. That you felt like you had to save him. Even worse because when you met he was VERY well off and was able to buy you all the finest things. He feels kinda like a failure of a man for that. But doesn’t let it show.
- he’s guarding the hell out of you the whole time. And you are EXTREMELY off limits from everyone else. He doesn’t even allow nam gyu to speak to you in any sorta aggressive way. If someone says something to or about you he doesn’t like HE IS SWINGING. Immediately
- even on drugs he wouldn’t be able to sacrifice you in the games, but he would be pretty pissed if you voted against him
- over all, you’re also very safe with this idiot, only he’s more likely to put you in risky and dangerous situations. Saying “he can protect you against anything”
- (not a fork apparently)
ᏢᏝᎯᎽᎬᏒ 124
- *insert that freaky ass sonic gif😈*
- my wife nam gyu <3
- you two also met at a club, only you were a poor music drop out student who was taken in at a dinghy night club as a DJ. Everyone has to start somewhere
- nam gyu, as we know, works in many clubs. Typically as security for the workers or at the doors as a bouncer.
- because of those jobs he’s very good at looking mean and scary. We all know the expression he makes when he took his picture. He looks like that 24/7 while at work.
- you work the lastest shift at this club, and as the DJ you can’t go until all the people leave or it’s closing time (5am). You were very scared to walk home after work alone because you couldn’t afford a taxi… yeah, you’re that broke. That’s when nam gyu came to your “rescue”.
- he approached you with a very sweet smile, waving you down just as you begun to walk nervously out of the club. A complete opposite to the hardened look he always wore on the job.
- He tells you as club security it’s his job to keep his workers safe, offering you a personal escort home. And with his awkward mannerisms and cute smile of course you said yes. And he does.
- you both keep this up for a while. You’d both close together, he’d take you home and then go home himself. You’d talk about literally anything on those walks. How work was, the things you over heard, maybe share bits of your pasts together. He even put you on to the other clubs he worked at, putting in good words for you.
- slowly though, over time you noticed a change. He started making friends with unfriendly people. Letting things slide. Taking money under the table. Doing drugs.
- sure, you didn’t have problems with people who do drugs. In the places you work, everyone does.
- but here, we’re talking heroin, ketamine, coke, meth. Everything. And you guess you just never thought he would do all that.
- soon the walks turned into hangouts, then to sleep overs, then to practically living together. Well, you had separate houses but stayed at each others places
- eventually, just because this is how it usually goes, you will probably become to dabble in some substances as well. Nam gyus rule is you can only do so around him though. And he will share, even if he’s low. Isn’t he so kind?
(if ur really not comfy forget I said that or something idk man)
- possessive and obsessive than a MF. You don’t really have many dude friends but if you did, no you don’t. Or you better not let him find out. You think he’s so touchy feely in public bc he loves you so much? Well, yes. ANNDD he’s really big on having people know you are very taken. You bring something out of him, that’s for sure.
- deffo manipulative. Sometimes he’d take some of your money “for something important” without asking or he yells at you because he’s either tweaking or withdrawling (which just happens in addict relationships no hate gang have compassion for addicts pls. But also don’t be ok w being verbally abused either) and you rightfully get mad at him he will run his hands oh so gently up and down your arms, holding your face and saying all the things you wanna hear
- “please baby, I’m so sorry. You know I don’t mean it. Fuck baby please forgive me. I’ll make it up to you, I promise” with his signature little smile. Unfortunately, he has you where he wants you.
- then you get into the games. Not only do you have more student debt then you thought possible but ALSO nam gyu “borrowed” some money to figure his bitcoin situation out. And now you had to pay with him.
- you didn’t think you’d see him there.
- immediately, upon sight after voting post red light, green light, he’s already got you in his grasp. Not even thanos knew what to say so he let him have his moment. Only it sucked for you
- he was pretty mad to say the least. “Are you fucking stupid, huh?” He says as he seemingly materialized out of no where. “Nam gyu?! Well I was just-“ “no, just shut up. I don’t really care, you realize you aren’t safe in here” yeah…. He may be pretty sweet most of the time but you can take the man outta the streets, but not the streets outta the man. He doesn’t REALLY mean that, he just really doesn’t know what to do. You’re gonna see a dark side of him he’d rather you didn’t, and that was that
- he does apologize later, as he always does at just the right time after an argument. “I didn’t mean to call you stupid baby, I was just so worried” smh.
- you have no choice but to pick ‘O’. Between him and his new little friend thanos hopped up on mystery pills and muderous peers, you figured listening to nam gyu was your best choice. And you trusted him, loved him even. So why not
- yk what I said about his touchy possessiveness? Times that by ten now. Any player (besides thanos and even then it can get kinda heated ) that talks to you, tries to touch you, team up with you, really does anything being honest will be yelled at, threatened, and then probably purposely left to die in the next game by him. Between keeping a hold of thanos and you he damm near has a stroke.
- right before he falls asleep he sneaks very seriously, like if he doesn’t reach you he’ll die, just to sleep in your arms for a moment. Reminds him of home and the life outside, which makes him feel weird but good.
- gets thanos to share a pill or two with you
- did I mention he really likes to touch you?
- over all, you’re the least safe with him. Buttt he still loves and cares for you. Would kill to defend you in the games, he does so for less in the games. But he would definitely be toxic a bit and maybe evil even. Puts you in danger but calls you crazy if you point it out. Very loving, but very scary. I love my wife.
______
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freyaphoria · 7 months ago
Note
hi! i was wondering if you could maybe write ateez reaction when they are getting intimate with their s/o for the first time and she's like... inseucre so she wants to keep her hoodie/t-shirt on? thank you!
Hi hello! I changed Seonghwa's part a little bit in a way that is different from your request and made it not their first time because I felt like every member was the same. I hope you don't mind. Love u♡
Ateez Reactions: You want to keep your hoodie/t-shirt on (hyung line)
maknae line
tw: insecurities!, how can i state this but she/he doesn't like their body, idk ugh i am bad at doing this part, yunho's part kinda hurt comfort
taglist: @aim-blossom
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Hongjoong
You and Hongjoong were in the early stages of your relationship and were just getting to know each other. Of course, you occasionally talked about your likes and dislikes, but you have never expressed that you are insecure with your body.
"Thanks for today Joong, I'm really happy now." You were unhappy at work and Hongjoong noticed your bad mood and invited you to watch your favorite movie to cheer you up.
Hongjoong approached you. "I'm glad I could make you happy." He tucked a strand of hair from your face behind your ear. "You're so beautiful when you're happy." He moved a little closer to your lips but he stopped before kissing you. "May I kiss you?" Your heart started to race, butterflies fluttering in your stomach. You nod your head and moved a little closer to him, and Hongjoong took control by kissing you first. His lips were so soft that if you didn't pull yourself together, you would melt into his lips. His kiss made your head spin and make you wanting more.
His kiss slowly moved to your neck, you wanted to throw your neck back and help him, but he couldn't reach too much because of your hoodie. He moved his head away from your neck, looked at your hoodie and tried to pull it up by grabbing the waist. "Can I take this off?" You looked away from him, grabbed the waistband of your hoodie and pulled it down. As you shook your head slowly, you cursed yourself for ruining the mood. Hongjoong looked at you confused. "You don't want me to take it off?" Your cheeks were red and you wanted to disappear. "Angel, can you talk to me? We don't have to go forward if you don't want to. I don't want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable." It warmed your heart that he was so understanding. "I... I don't like my body. I don't want you to see it because-" He interrupted you by kissing you. "You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. I don't care what your body looks like or doesn't look like. What matters is you." He kissed you on the nose one last time and leaned back on the couch again. "But if you're not ready, I can wait for you whenever you want. Let's not rush it." You shook your head. “No just… Can I keep my hoodie on?” Hongjoong smiled at you. "Of course Angel. However you like."
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Seonghwa
You have always avoided taking intimacy further in your relationship with Seonghwa. The most you did was kiss or help him. You've never shown him your full body.
One day, on your lego date, Seonghwa got hard because you moved too much on his lap. "Seriously Hwa?" You rolled your eyes at him playfully and looked at he trace of his cock which was visible through his gray sweatpants. "I wonder whose fault this is?" He shrugged, picking you up in his arms and laying you on the bed. His hands started to wander around your body.
Seonghwa knew that you were insecure with your body and he would always adore you and tell you how beautiful you were, but when it came to make love, you would either have sex in the dark and where he couldn't see you, or he would make you come by pulling your underwear to the side with all your clothes on.
While he was kissing you, he started pulling your shirt up slowly like he was testing the waters. But he broke the kiss when you grabbed his wrist with your hands and made a grumpy noise. "Hwa..." He pulled your t-shirt down and covered your exposed belly. "I know I know, I was just testing you." You ran your hands through his hair. "You don't need to test me, my answer will always be no." Seonghwa sighed. "You don't need to hide yourself from me either. My answer will always be how perfect and flawless you are.”
And after that night, your insecurities about yourself would change because Seonghwa made you feel like the most beautiful person in the world.
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Yunho
While you were cooking in the kitchen, you jumped because of the arms wrapping around your waist from behind. "What are you cooking? It smells so good." He said as he buried his head into your neck and breathed in your scent. "Me or the food?" you giggled and reached as far to the side as Yunho's big body would allow to grab some spices. "Hmm.. Both of you." Yunho loosened his arms around your waist and tried to tuck them into your shirt. His body was tightly pressed against you, and if you paid a little attention, you could feel a weight pressing on your hips. His hands were about to touch your body when you suddenly moved to the side and away from his grip. To make sure it didn't seem weird, you pretended to be searching for something on the counter behind. But Yunho came behind you again, picked you up, sat you on the counter, and started pulling your shirt up while kissing you.
"Yunho... don't." He didn't understand that you didn't really want it because you said it in a moaning tone, so he pulled it up a little more. "Yunho! I said don't!" He froze when you yelled at him and grabbed his wrists, trying to pull him away from you. "Tiny? I'm sorry, I-" You interrupted him. "No, Yunho, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted like that. I just don't like my body and I'm ashamed." Yunho looked at you like it was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard in his life. "But I love you like this." He said while kissing you. "You don't need to hide your body from me. Because you are hiding something that I love very much from me." He leaned down again and kissed your chin. "But if you're comfortable like this, we can keep what you're wearing, tiny. It's more important for me that you feel comfortable." You grabbed Yunho's neck and pulled him towards you, wrapping your legs around his waist. "Thank you for being understanding, Yuyu." He chuckled at you. "Thank you for being so beautiful too."
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Yeosang
The first 3 months of your relationship with Yeosang was a long distance relationship. You talked every day and tried to get to know each other, but you couldn't make physical things. The first time you got physically close was when Yeosang came to your city for a few months.
Things happened very quickly; You were having a play fight before going to sleep at night, while you were tickling Yeosang while on his lap, your leg pressed too much on his crotch, causing a fireball to form inside Yeosang. The game fight suddenly became serious and Yeosang took you off his lap, laid you on the bed and got on top of you. "Are you doing it on purpose?" He spread your legs wide and brought his body closer to you. As your laughing subsided, you stopped panting and tried to breathe. "What am I doing on purpose?" You knew what he was talking about when he started getting closer to your face. "Do you want this?"
There were still question marks in your mind: What if he doesn't like me? What if my body doesn't appeal to him? What if I'm not what he expects? You nodded hesitantly as piles of questions flew through your mind. "Love, we don't have to do anything you don't want. Can you answer me with your words?" He looked at you as if you were the only person in the world. You loved Yeosang very much and you had no doubt that he loved you too, but you were still hesitant because it was your first time. "I want to, but I'm little shy." Yeosang chuckled warmly at you. "It doesn't matter, we can turn off the lights or keep your clothes on if you want. I just want you to feel comfortable with me."
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a/n: Could you please give me some feedback? I feel like I can't give the feeling I want. Also sorry for the bad english.
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patricia-taxxon · 1 year ago
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Attempting to extend sympathy to my younger self via self insert fiction.
"Hello there!"
I looked up from the lunchbox on my lap towards the source of the sudden loud voice, standing four or so feet away from me was a… dog? He stood on two legs, an eager look on his face. I looked around, none of the other kids were nearby.
"Hello?" I said back, a little confused.
"My name is Paul! What is your name?" The dog replied, both in an oddly formal tone of voice and… loudly, even though he was close enough to grab.
"My name's Bradley." I said, and went back to my PB&J.
"How old are you, Bradley?" asked Paul, in that same babyish but too-formal tone, almost like a robot.
"I'm eleven." I replied, without looking up.
"I'm ten!" He said back. "Nice to meet you!"
Several seconds passed, and he didn't move or look away. I realized he was waiting for me to say something.
"Nice to meet you too, Paul." His tail twitched as I said that, but he quickly moved his paw behind him to hold it in place until it settled. "Sorry," He said, before asking another question. "What do you like to do?"
His awkward storybook-speaking was offputting to me, but no one ever talked to me at recess, especially not completely out of nowhere like this. I answered his question, "I like playing Smash Bros," but I don't know why I thought of that first. I didn't really feel like finishing my lunch, I started to pack it away for later.
"What's that?" He said back. Was that a joke? He looked curious.
"Uh… it's a game, you can play as different Nintendo characters and fight each other." I waited for him to respond, but he was still listening. "You can uh… you can be Sonic."
"That's really cool!" He said. "Can I sit next to you?"
"Hm? Oh, okay, I guess." I replied. The dog's tail instantly sprung to life, and he once again moved his paw to stop it. "Sorry," he said, and moved swiftly to sit on the bench next to me, a bit closer than I thought he would. He looked up towards me like he wanted me to keep talking, or… it looked like he was looking at the top of my head, I wasn't sure.
Instead of explaining Smash Bros anymore, I asked a question myself to take the pressure off. "What do you like to play?" Paul blinked and his ears perked up. "I like Marble Blast Gold!" He almost yelped out, before drawing back. "But… shhh, don't tell anyone. I'm not supposed to talk about it."
That didn't make any sense. "Huh? What does that mean?" I asked.
"It's the best game ever, you like… you roll, and you have to… like, you have to get to the end. Uh." He stammered. "But I'm not… I'm not allowed to play it anymore, my teachers said I'm too obsessed."
"That's bullshit." I spat.
"Yeah!!" He yelled, leaping up onto his haunches, tail wagging up a storm, until he noticed again, and pressed his paw to stop it. "Sorry." he said.
"Why are you doing that?" I asked.
"Doing what?"
"Stopping your tail." I pointed to his butt. "Aren't you like… a dog, or something?"
Paul cocked his head like I asked him a really stupid question. "Yeah? Why." He said, carefully.
We stared at each other for another couple of seconds. I didn't know how to word my questions without sounding awkward. "I've met a lot of… dogs, and wagging tails is pretty normal." I felt insane saying it out loud.
"Well I'm special!" Paul beamed. "I can talk, I can stand on two legs!" He got up and stood upon the bench, barely reaching eye level with me. "I'm in a class for special dogs only." He bumped a fist on his chest.
"Oh… okay." I said, not really understanding. I guess the rules were different for dogs that talk. It felt weird watching him do that though, and saying sorry for it too. "Are special dogs… not supposed to wag?" I asked.
"Yeah. No wagging." He replied. "'Cus humans don't wag."
"But humans don't have tails in the first place." I looked behind myself to check. "So you don't actually know if humans would wag or not, right?" I was getting seriously weirded out by this conversation, but I just kinda kept going. "How'd you learn to talk, anyways?" I asked, Paul looked like he was processing what I said very slowly.
"Like I said, I'm special." Paul repeated. "I'm learning how to make it disappear, like everyone else. First I gotta learn how to keep it still, though, so the magic works."
"Magic?" I said back to him. I mean, it wasn't all that weird compared to meeting a talking dog, but the word still threw me off.
"Yeah, lookit!" The dog hopped off the bench, hunched over with his back facing me, and started screaming like he was about to go super saiyan. I didn't know what I was supposed to be looking at, I was too startled. I might have been imagining things, but I think I saw his tail slowly retracting into his body like a lazy snake.
"Paul! What the fuck are you doing??" I shouted, but instead of responding, Paul just… went silent and flopped onto his side. I quickly rushed over, yelling "Are you okay? What just happened?" I looked over his body, flat on the asphalt. His tail had grown all the way back and… his body shrunk. His head was halfway tucked into his shirt like a turtle. His paws barely poked out of his sleeves, pointing directly forward from his body. He didn't look like a kid anymore, he looked like a dog that someone stuffed into some kid's clothes.
After a second, I thought it wouldn't hurt to poke him. "Paul? Recess is almost over." I poked at his chest, and he rolled onto his back limply. I suddenly felt silly trying to talk to him, like I was trying to reason with a pet. I tried a different approach, I clapped my hands and rapped on my knees. "Hey! Up! Food!"
Paul's eyes shot open, and he sneezed, before wiggling his legs to right himself. He took an instant and a half to realize where he was, and he suddenly cowered, looking straight at me, shivering. "Hey, what's wrong?" I whispered. He looked side to side, back at his own doggish body, and back to me. He blinked, looking like he was about to run away.
"No, no, it's okay." I tried to be reassuring, I'd never had a dog before so I didn't really know what I was doing. I almost forgot that I'd just been talking about Smash Bros with him. "Uh… do you like granola bars?" His ears perked up, and his tail swayed, his new… anatomy making it hard to reach back and stop it this time. I grabbed my backpack from behind me and rummaged through it for leftovers, I got the other of the two bars inside the wrapper, the one I didn't eat, and held it out in front of me. Paul approached me slowly, his nose twitching. "Can you… eat this, even?" I asked, as he sniffed the crumbly rectangle. He licked it soon after, and started nibbling and snarfing after that. I watched carefully, scared to make any sudden moves.
Paul looked up at me again, and I noticed his eyes were a little different. More definition, like I could tell a little more what he was feeling. His new eyes looked concerned, like he was waiting for me to do something bad. He reached up with a paw, it was looking a bit more like a hand now. I let go, and he held the bar himself as he munched away, sitting plainly on his knees.
"What was that all about?" I asked.
"Maghic." The dog said through a full mouth.
"That was magic?" I replied. "I saw your tail shrink, I'm pretty sure."
Paul swallowed. "How much?"
I thought back, the image was still clear in my head. "Like… barely at all. A couple inches?"
"Aw…" He looked disappointed in himself.
We sat in silence for a bit, but there was a question I wanted to ask. "Why do you want to get rid of your tail? Like… that looked painful."
"Mrs. Millie said I can go to the regular class if I can turn human," the talking dog said, proudly.
"You're pretty bad at that." I chuckled, reaching out to ruffle his ears without thinking. Paul looked like he was about to take it personally, but suddenly lost his train of thought as my hand touched his head. "Bwuhhf…" He woofed under his breath, his tail twitched and his paws lost their thumbs again. I quickly pulled my hand back, "Sorry! I didn't…" Paul's eyes took a second to form together again, and he looked right at me, "That wasn't fair." he whined, but his tail was still wagging.
"You really are a dog!" I said, glancing sneakily behind him. Paul followed my gaze to his own tail, yelped, and quickly pressed it down with both paws.
"Oh, come on, stop it." I joked. "It's psyching me out, it looks like it hurts when you hold your tail in place like that."
Paul turned his head back at me. "It doesn't… hurt," he said, slowly and surely.
"Hm. Whatever you say." I got up and went back on the bench. After I turned around to sit down, Paul was already running towards me. I didn't have any time to think before he bounded into my lap and butted his head into my chest while his tail went crazy. The impact knocked the wind out of me, but he was pretty small, I got it back in just a second. Paul yipped and barked, maybe there were some normal words in there too, but I couldn't understand it. This is where I realized he wasn't a very special dog after all, I think he was just normal.
I scratched behind his head and stroked his back through those baggy clothes, and this time he didn't mind. He might have been crying, it was hard to tell, I didn't really know what dog crying looked like. Eventually, he settled down. I couldn't feel his shoulders anymore, he seemed in danger of falling out of his shorts if he wasn't careful. I had a dog in my lap, an extremely normal dog. He stretched his body up and rested his head on my shoulder. "I like you, Bradley." He said, a little too slowly, and a little too loudly. I didn't know what to say to that, he barely knew me. This was all very weird. "You're a good dog." I said back, just because it felt right.
I could feel Paul's body shaping up into a more human posture again as he regained composure. He let go, turned to the side, and sat down on the bench next to me again, staring at his paws in his lap. I leaned over, "You okay?" I asked. He didn't answer, he just put his paw on my wrist and started twirling the hair under my sleeve.
I quickly jerked my hand away and covered the hairy skin. "Don't look at that!" I snapped.
"You have fur too!" Paul yelled.
"No, no, that's hair. I'm just…" I didn't want to explain, it was too embarrassing. I looked like I had my dad's arms, I hoped that no one would see. "It's a condition."
"Oh. Okay." Paul stared into the distance again. We sat in silence for another couple awkward seconds before the bell rang.
"Bye, Bradley." the dog said, scampering off.
"Bye, Paul." I waved after him, being sure to hold my sleeve up with my other hand.
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sweettoothy · 2 months ago
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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃𝐒 𝐄𝐍𝐃
╰ SHOW ﹕ ARCANE !
︵ WARNING(S) ﹕╰ swearing ⸝ violence ﹕ sex
︵ relationship ﹕ Vi x fem!fragile!reader x Caitlyn
NOTE: here we areeee, I was very excited to do this chapter since we can get into what kinda powers (name) has ^^ omg first kisses?!?!? I hope y’all don’t mind the change.
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⟣・S2・FINALLY GOT THE NAME RIGHT︰
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THE MAN IN FRONT of you sneezes, you handed him one of your extra masks and looked around with curiosity— you knew not to wander off far since caitlyn was focused on finding jinx. Though you knew exactly why she wanted to find her, she was starting to act a little different towards both you and vi— which was…understandable of her since her mother had died but it wasn’t a good change, though.
“Thanks.” The man tells you thankfully. “I thought I was a goner.”
“You’re smeech’s man.” Vi spoke.
“Was.” The man corrects. “I--“ he sneezes again, covering his mouth. “Oh. I decided it was time for me to retire.”
“Looks more like someone decided to retire you.” Caitlyn retorts.
The man chuckles. “Yeah, well, timing was never my strong--“ he sneezes again. “Sorry. Sorry, it’s…it’s the grey. It gives me the--“ he sneezes again.
Caitlyn stepped forward threateningly. “Tell us how you wound up here.” she demanded, aiming her gun at him.
“Hey, wait, wait.” Heenot pleads. “Jinx is off the rails, even for her. She’s got a real fire lit up under her ass. she’s planning something big, right here in the pipe works.”
You moved the gun away from the man carefully, eyeing caitlyn with slight surprise.
“It is a pretty big place down here to do that.” You added.
Heenot grunts. “She was headed towards the old tunnels. Something about rerouting the vents.”
Caitlyn moved her finger away from the trigger, her face upturned into a scowl. “this is it, then. Cuff him.”
“Hey! I told you everything I know.” Heenot protests.
“You’re a confessed criminal. You’ll spend your retirement in a cell.” Caitlyn tells him, cocking her gun and tilting her head. “Check your gear. This is what we’ve trained for.”
Vi sighs, slowly walking near caitlyn, “can I get a minute? with you?” she asks you.
Caitlyn slowly turns around, seeing you and vi standing there with unsure looks. Avoiding caitlyn’s gaze you nodded and followed vi.
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YOU SET YOUR WEAPON aside as you leaned against the railing inside the tunnel, tucking some of your (h/c) hair behind your ear as you gazed at a saddened but determined vi, her head lowered as she shifted her feet.
“We should cut the others loose.” Vi tells you, her eyes landing on yours as she sees you gasp quietly before speaking.
“Listen..if that heenot man is telling the truth, we may need all the help we can get, vi.” You whisper to her softly, only loud enough for her to hear.
Vi shakes her head. “She’ll smell their nerves a mile away and find a way to use them against us.” she informs you, “tell me I’m wrong.”
You were think about it, blinking a few times. maybe she was right— and she was. jinx probably wouldn’t hesitate to kill you, and as many times as vi told you to stay away from the blue haired girl it was like you would get caught in the crossfire every time.
“You know cait,” You spoke. “She won’t let jinx get away again without a doubt. she’s dead set on getting her. are you sure you’re even ready to--?”
Vi interrupts you. “(Name) she almost killed you. and it’s like everyone I care about either ends up dying or changing-- I can’t let that happen. my sister is gone. there’s only jinx now. It has to end.”
You knew this was hurting her, having to do this. but it was only now or later— because ending it all later would be too late.
Vi looks at your bandaged arm, “I am so sorry about your arm. I’m sorry I can’t fix it-- but please just…everyone in my life has changed. promise me you won’t change, you or caitlyn.”
Tears escape and cascade down her eyes as a gentle sob racked her throat.
Walking towards her you reached out your hand and cupped her cheek, going onto your tippy toes to kiss the tear away. Vi took a glance down at your lips before she began to lean in, you doing the same.
Vi fully leaned in and pressed her lips against yours, your lips molding against hers in a perfect melody. Vi then feels you pull away, your (e/c) eyes looking into hers again.
“I promise.” You whisper softly, nuzzling your nose against hers. “I won’t.”
Vi drops her gauntlets and suddenly her hands are wrapping around the small of your waist as she lifts you up into her arms with ease, her hands finding their way to your ass as she gives it a gentle squeeze, the kiss deepening from there as the two of you continued kissing.
This felt nice.
When vi pulls away, she sets you down. “Not bad for your first kiss, huh?”
“Hey! you did it first! I just finished it.” You winked before your watch started beeping, “huh…Jayce wants me to meet up with him. can you and cait do this alone?” you ask.
Vi nods in reply. “Yeah, yeah. I’d rather you be somewhere safe other than here.”
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HEADING INSIDE JAYCE’S office, you see a younger male sitting with him, making you tilt your head in curiosity, “this is ekko?” You asked with a warm smile. Ekko seemed unsure whether to trust you but the smile made him ease a bit.
“What’s the topic?” You asked while sitting down, crossing your leg over the other as you leaned your cheek against your palm.
“Hextech.” Jayce replies. “Viktor hypothesized that there may be something he called ‘wild runes’. patterns that occur naturally where the border between our world and the arcane is thin.”
“Runes like the ones you use in hextech.” Ekko replies, leaning his head against his hand. “What’s the difference between those and wild runes?”
“Pass me a tome.” Jayce tells him.
Ekko slides the book over to him.
“So I used words you understood in order to elicit your action.” Jayce explains. “This is what hextech runs are.”
“Pass me a tome.” Jayce tells you this time.
You grabbed the book and handed it to him.
“Pass me a tome.” He says once more.
You let out a frustrated sigh, throwing the book his way.
“There! you sighed. still a kind of language.” Jayce says. “A sound, but not words. something raw. natural. that’s wild runes. most places, the arcane is dormant, but here and there, it’s more active. and wild runes are--“
“Sort of like its fingerprints.” Ekko finishes.
“Exactly.” Jayce nods in agreement.
Your brows furrowed. “Wait wait-- you mean to tell me you-- by using so much of the hextech you’re basically pissing off the arcane?”
“That’s-- that’s not what I--“ Jayce stammered as he avoided your gaze.
“Ooh, she may be onto something. every action sparks a reaction.” Heimerdinger says, accidentally dropping something on the ground. “Oh, ball sockets.”
Ekko chuckles when he sees this.
“Do you think this could actually be a result of overuse of hextech?” Jayce asks you, maybe it was true…using way too much hextech always made you wonder what would happen.
“That’s the only reason.” You answer, leaning back in your seat as you pondered the idea of what could happen. “I mean..I don’t use it, but if I did I probably would overuse it and not even know. everything has its limits.”
“We tested our hextech under every conceivable condition for years.” Jayce says. “If there’s some reaction taking place, how come we’ve never seen any sign of it until now? and why would it appear on a tree, deep underground?”
You and Jayce share a look.
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“WHAT IS THIS PLACE?” YOU ASKED with curiosity as you sat down your bag, walking next to heimerdinger who looked around.
“I thought the gemstone mesh was installed above ground.” Ekko says.
“Me too..” you added with narrowed eyes.
“The mesh is above ground, but we weren’t sure what would happen if the gate overloaded, so we installed a failsafe at the base.” Jayce explains, you crossed your arms over your chest, still unsure about the whole thing.
“So instead of it exploding in your neighborhood, it would blow up in ours.” Ekko retorts.
Jayce turns to him. “We’re miles from the main fissures.”
“These are the same utility ducts that carry our water,” Ekko tells him. “And facilitate our ventilation. and that would explain it affecting the tree.”
“Inconceivable.” You hear heimerdinger say.
“That..that doesn’t explain--“ You paused, wondering if becoming an enforcer was really what you wanted in the first place.
“You know, you say we should feel like we’re all one people.” Ekko continues. “But whenever it rains, we’re the ones that get wet--“
His voice echoed as the scenery in the room changed to something completely different, you blinked a few times, eyes landing on what was in front of you.
“What the…” Jayce trails off confusedly, looking around himself.
The entire room was white, dull, like it was full of nothing.
“Is that..a wild rune?” Ekko questioned, your gazed landed on the wild rune in front of you.
“I have no idea what that is.” Jayce added.
All four of you stood in front of whatever the glowing ball was in front of you, you stepped back, eyes widening a bit. “No way.”
Weirdly enough the rune starts affecting your hair, the edge of the strands beginning to change colors. Jayce reaches forward begins to touch it.
“Ow!” You flinched away from the rune, whatever you just felt rush into your skin made it hurt a thousand times worse than your hair.
“Jayce, stop touching it!” You shouted at him.
But Jayce doesn’t hear you.
The world felt like it was spinning before you turned towards him, a chill runs down your spine as your bottom lip trembled. “Hello..?”
You felt yourself collapse, the air in your lungs beginning to fade. Jayce touches the rune, you clutched your head, starting to hear whispers from every side of you. “Stop, stop, stop!”
Whatever you were hearing didn’t want to stop, it’s like they enjoyed antagonizing you.
The world around you was starting to look different.
“Ekko! Jayce!” You shout again. “Anyone?!”
Silence.
Something blasts you in your chest, knocking you back as blood falls down your nose.
Then it fades to black.
END OF CHAPTER THREE
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zenyyyluvyuu · 12 days ago
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(Hiya guys I decided to make it a series because it rot in my brain and I can't take it anymore, kinda ooc I'm sorry, and I'm sorry for the incorrect grammar and English)
White & red
Chapter 1
Next part.
Tw: child abuse, chronic illnes, blood, etc.
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It's been years since we played, years we played in those old alleyways, years when you and him rob some goodies from the rich.
He is always a healthy young boy, and you're just weak. Weak. That always comes out of your parents mouth, you are born different. Your father even accuses your mother of cheating with another man, even though you are really his daughter. Just a different color.
Eventually your father couldn't believe it and leave without trace with a signed divorce paper for your mother.
Your mother left heart broken, she doesn't even care about you anymore. And you just stand there watching her crying when you tried to comfort her she shove you away, yelled at you to stay away from her. That's when your world crumbles into pieces. So you run. You run away from the house, leaving your mother to rot in that house.
You tried to find food from the dumpster but none of them were healthy. You tried to steal food from the old lady but some of her minions came by and beat you out in a bloody plup.
You're really going to die. With this body you easily die. You can't hold it any longer, your stomach is hurting. So you just sleep. Curling yourself in the cold.
But a warm hand touches you, sending you to joilt awake, your gaze meets him. The boy with black hair and bright eyes, kneeling at you. "Hey.. are you okay? Please don't die beside my door.." he looks at you with a concerned tone.
"h..." You manage to say a word.
"huh? What was that?"
"h-hungry..." Your voice sounds hoarse. It sounds like a mutter to you.
He understands what you manage to say and reaches for his pocket to find a piece of bread. He ripped it into a tiny piece and leaned it to your mouth, you obediently ate the piece of bread he handed you, struggling to chew you eventually shove it with your dry throat into your stomach.
Your stomach is not really satisfied with the small pieces of bread but it is reducing your stomachache. He also seems satisfied too. "Let me help you to my house!" He then processes hold your tiny body, it was light too damn light.
He lets you sleep on his bed,he brushes his hand to your forehead, testing the temperature. Hot. It feels like you're burning. His concern deepens. It was his first time meeting you and you're making him paranoid.
He can't have a dead girl on his bed. What does he do now? He sits beside you. Taking a cold bottle he has stolen to your forehead. Your breath labored. Your head hurts. It all hurts.
While he holds the bottle on your forehead, he can't help but watch you. Your white hair, skin tone. You look stunning even tho you are at your lowest.
You blink softly, to see who has been helping you. Your gaze meets him. Blue with a mix of green, meeting yours.
"why.. are you helping me?.." you ask him, your voice sounds like a mutter but he hears you. "Because you almost died in my territory." He answer.
"I'm..jason. jason Todd by the way"he cut the eye contact, rubbing his neck from behind. His hold of the bottle is still on you. He looks at you again waiting for an answer.
"I'm..(name) (lastname)" you smile at him, glad he helps you. "Thank.. you" you thank him. His face is warming up and looks away. "No problem... just don't die again.." he's cute.
With that he lets you stay with him, he teaches you many things, you both rob, play, and even share the same fate. He tells you what happened to his parents and so did you. You also tell him about your condition that makes him more protective of you.
For years, just him and you. Until that one night he decided to rob some of the batmobile tires, he told you to stay and let him do it. He promised to come back after he got the batmobile tires. And you just obey him like that. Waiting for him until sunrise but he didn't come back like he said. Leaving just you alone.
Did batman catch him and send him to the jail? Oh no. What happened to you jay? Where have you been?
With that day turning to years, you're tired. You can't find him anywhere. Like he just banished. You never know. During your robbery you accidentally meet the infamous catwomen, she takes an interest in your appearance and personality and takes you as her kitten.
Eventually you leave the house you share together. You got your own apartment, selina trains you how to be flexible and other things. You even got yourself a suit. Quite eye catching with your current appearance.
When that night you and catwoman is taking a break, selina tells you a story how she got involved with batman, and his sidekick. While taking a break
Nightwing , redhood, red robin, spoiler, orphan, robin, signal and even oracle. One by one she tells you about them and you just hearing her out.
Well the redhood one kinda familiar to, because selina explain about how he is the angry robin that reminds you of your childhood friends who sometimes hot tempered.
When the break over, you wonder could the redhood is your childhood friends? Oh this make you really curious. The night end with you finally comes home and plop on your bed. Unknown to you. Batman has caught his eye on you. He saw how you pass those building with catwomen. Who are you, why are with catwoman. He better talk about that to her later.
Next part
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So sorry about the story if it was not good ,cringe and even ooc. And the English too 😭 But i still hope you guys like it 🙏
Spoiler for the next episode is how you and catwoman meet the batman.
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kunareads · 9 days ago
Text
meta angel
suguru x reader
it's just suguru, he would never hurt you. but your body reacts like it doesn't know that.
masterlist
wc: 1.4k
started as a journal entry months ago kinda
content: boyfriend!suguru, hurt/comfort, angst, argument, trauma response, reader was in an abusive relationship (no specific details)
i’ve got voices in my head telling me that i won’t make it far
suguru thinks you carry things too deeply. that you let words and events settle into your chest like stones, holding onto them long after they’ve passed. he wonders if you even realize it, if the weight of them is familiar now, like something you’ve always known. he wonders if you’ll ever learn to let go.
he carries things too, but unlike you, he doesn’t hold them where people can see. he tucks them away into the spaces between his ribs. you wonder if he even realizes how much he’s drowning.
“you treat yourself like you’re disposable, suguru.” your voice cuts through the stillness, not loud, but laced with something unshakeable. “like your life is collateral.”
he draws in a slow, deep breath. “and you think you know better?” his voice is quiet, but sharp enough to cut. “you think knowing me means you get to decide what’s right for me?”
suguru doesn’t argue to win. he argues to exhaust, to chip away at resolve until the whole thing feels like a mistake. you’ve seen him do it, but you won’t give in tonight.
“i know enough.” the exasperation in your tone is building now, pressing against something deeper. “i watch you come back in pieces. you stitch yourself together with the bare minimum, just enough to survive next time. and all you’ll let me do is watch.”
he shakes his head, a harsh exhale escaping. “i don’t need saving.”
“this isn’t about saving you,” your voice wavers. not from weakness, but from something raw, something too knowing. “it’s about you acting like it wouldn’t matter if you didn’t come back.”
suguru stills. a fraction of a second, something caught between then and now. his face hardens, something so brief it could be missed, but you don’t miss it. when he speaks again, his voice is colder, more penetrating, a glacial edge slicing through the distance between you.
“i didn’t ask you to care.”
mirror singing in my face, where’d you go?
the words land like a slap, soundless but deep. you feel them settle, heavy, leaving something raw behind. he isn’t raising his voice, isn’t yelling, but that only makes it worse. it’s the control in his tone, the way the warmth drains from it, that makes something inside you go quiet.
he moves before you can process it. it’s just a shift, an unconscious attempt to put distance between you, but the way he does it places him directly between you and the door.
awareness prickles at the edges of your vision, something instinctive, old. your breath catches. you shift back, a step so small it shouldn’t matter. your fingers curl, not quite a flinch, but close. your shoulders lock. your gaze flickers past him to the door.
suguru notices the movement, but he doesn’t understand it yet. he assumes you’re backing down, that you’re retreating from the fight because it’s no longer worth the energy. his frustration simmers, pushing against the borders of restraint. “so that’s it? you’re just done now?” his voice tight, regulated, but there’s something hollow underneath it.
you don’t say anything.
“you wanted honesty,” he presses. “this is what it looks like.”
the silence between you concentrates, dense and unyielding.
you’re not just quiet. you’re tense. too tense. your breath comes too steady, too controlled, like it’s manual. your hands are curled, not in anger, but in something else.
for a moment, he doesn’t understand what just happened. the argument was sharp, cutting. but this? this feels different, off-kilter in a way he can’t place. his frustration lingers, but it’s edged now by something else, something uneasy.
something twists in his chest, cold and immediate. this isn’t right. his eyes follow yours, straight to the exit. and then it clicks.
he sees it—the way your shoulders have drawn inward, the way you’re not just stepping back, but recoiling.
throw it in the fire, ego in the fire
the realization drops into him like a stone in deep water.
it’s not about the fight anymore.
his voice softens instinctively, dropping into something warm and careful. “you’re not shutting down.”
you don’t look at him. but something changes in your expression, something unstable.
“i scared you.”
your head shakes too fast, too forcefully. “no, you didn’t—it wasn’t you.” the words rush out too quickly, like you need him to believe them.
but you still won’t meet his eyes. and that’s how he knows.
the ache is instant. deep. he steps aside immediately. not because you’re afraid of him but because you need space. and because he understands now.
you wonder if he knows how different he looks like this. how his edges dull, how he softens for a moment, just enough for you to see.
something loosens in your chest, but it doesn’t fade completely. you’re holding onto something. something not here, not now. you don’t know how to let it go.
he moves carefully, slowly enough that you can track every shift. his posture relaxes, breath leveling, voice smoothing into something softer.
“alright,” he murmurs, quiet. he doesn’t demand an explanation. he just lets the moment settle.
you move first. a hesitant step, the ghost of your fingers against his sleeve. it’s careful, tentative. the space between you hums with something delicate, like a thread pulled too tight.
it’s a risk in its own quiet way. a silent question. a test of whether he’ll pull away, whether you’ll regret reaching for him at all. your fingers hover, barely grazing the fabric, as if pressing too hard will shatter whatever this moment is turning into.
suguru waits. he watches, his breath measured, his presence persistent but unintrusive. he doesn’t reach for you. doesn’t pull you in. he lets you set the pace, his restraint saying more than words ever could. you think, for a moment, that maybe he’s just as afraid of breaking this as you are.
and when you nod, so small he could’ve missed it, he moves.
i’ve got a love for desire
the shift from conflict to comfort is soft and intentional. it unfurls slowly, like an exhale you didn’t realize you were holding, like the tentative warmth of sunlight after a storm. no sudden movements, no desperate grasping. just quiet, and the weight of understanding settling over you both.
he doesn’t say i would never hurt you. you already know that. instead, he whispers, his voice low and unwavering, “you’re safe. i got you.”
the silence stretches, gentler now, no longer thick with unspoken tension. after a long moment, he moves again, guiding you to the couch, not forcing, just easing. his fingers trace slow, familiar paths along your spine. a kiss pressed to your temple, lingering.
eventually, you speak, your voice barely a whisper.
“he used to—” you stop. the words catch, jagged and unfinished. they hover between you, raw and bleeding like an old wound reopened too suddenly. you exhale sharply, but it doesn’t steady you. the memory presses too close, settling heavily in your chest, something you can’t push back down.
suguru says nothing. he doesn’t urge you forward or try to fill the silence. he just listens, steady and patient, the way he always does when it counts.
you curl your fingers into his sleeve, anchoring yourself to the present.
“i don’t—” you try again, but the words feel too big, too tangled, too much. you shake your head, pressing your face into his shoulder instead.
he turns slightly, slow enough that you don’t even realize it at first. the space between you disappears as he tucks you closer, his hand smoothing over your back, tracing slow, familiar circles. a grounding weight, warm against you, breath calm at your temple. not asking, not demanding. just there.
and it should feel small, this moment. but it isn’t. it’s something more, something that settles in the quiet, telling you that he already knows what you can’t say.
he doesn’t say you don’t have to tell me.
he just nods, resting his chin lightly on top of your head, letting the quiet settle.
his warmth spreads through you, filling the spaces words never could.
“okay,” he murmurs, quiet and certain. not dismissive, not final. just something to hold onto, a reassurance.
you’re here. you’re safe. you don’t have to explain yourself to me.
and that’s more than enough.
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zeltqz · 8 months ago
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I can’t stop thinking about Rin eating his girl out for a first time and cumming in his pants without even noticing. He would be so awkward and anxious ab it but so cute RAAAHHH
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“I got a question,” you asked, turning to look at Rindou. 
“Shoot.” The two of you were on your bed, in the midst of cuddling, when you popped the question,
“Why haven’t you eaten me out yet?”
Rindou glanced at you. “Because I’ve never done it before.”
“You’re fucking lying.” Your mouth was open, shocked, as you sat up, looking down at the boy next to you. 
“I’m not.” Rindou had one arm behind his head and shrugged, the other fiddling with the blanket. “Why is that so hard to believe?”
“Because you’re you,” you stated dumbly yet seriously, and Rindou simply arched his brow at you. 
“What?”
You huffed. “Want me to be blunt about it?”
“Sure.”
“How do you have the reputation you have and tell me right now you’ve never given a girl head?”
He shrugged again and you groaned, wondering if you were just making a big deal over nothing. You moved to lay back down and stared at your ceiling, coming to the conclusion that no, you weren’t in fact overreacting, yes this was weird, and no amount of him acting nonchalant could change that. 
“I’m sorry but it just doesn’t make sense!” you continued. Beside you, Rindou groaned. 
“If I knew you were gonna make a big deal out of this then I wouldn’t have told you.”
“I’m not making fun of you or anything. It’s just like wow. You know?”
He scrunched his nose. “Not really.”
“How would you react if I told you that I’d never sucked a dick before?”
“But you have. Mine,” he said with a smirk. You rolled your eyes.
“Well yeah. But that’s not the point.”
He hummed thoughtfully. “I guess it'd be kinda weird.”
You interrupted him. “See—!”
“But it’s two different things,” he finished and your mouth slammed shut. “We aren’t the same.”
“What?” Dimly, you knew where he was going with this, and had to prepare yourself for the amount of bullshit he was about to spew out of his mouth. 
“Cause like. Blowjobs are a necessity in sex. How else are we supposed to get hard? It’s different because girls get wet regardless. I don’t need to eat you out to get you wet.”
You pinched your nose bridge. “That’s not the point.”
“What is the point then?”
“It’s about making us feel good.”
“You feel good during the actual sex, no?” he asked, turning to face you on his side. 
“Before you, not really. Maybe the guys I was with just sucked.”
“Unfortunate for you,” he chuckled, laughing when you threatened to suffocate him with your pillow. “Really though that’s unfortunate for you.”
“Yeah I know,” you sulked. “I’m over it now though. But I guess I understand you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like.” You also turned to face him, playing with the hem of his shirt. “I’m not a big fan of giving blowjobs cause they’re always rough with it and my jaw and throat hurts for days after. So I understand you kinda.”
“It’s not that I hate doing it. I just don’t see the point.”
“But whyyy ? Because it doesn’t benefit you?”
Rindou rubbed a hand over his face. “You’re making me sound like a dick.”
“Not me. Your responses are.”
“What, so you want me to eat you out? Is that where you’re going with this?” He looked you dead in the eye and you stammered. 
“W—what? Where’d you get that from?”
“You keep obsessing over the fact that I never gave head before.”
“Uh no! It’s just shocking, that’s all,” you defended, getting marginally more irritated when he still looked like he didn’t believe you. Scoffing, you rolled your eyes. “That doesn’t matter anyway. You wouldn’t be able to handle me,” you teased, a cheekily proud smile on your face as you shifted to lay back down.
“Girl, stop playing around and come here.” He put a gentle, but firm hand on your lower back and tugged you towards him. You kept laughing and brushed some hair out of his face, your hand lingering on his cheek as your eyes roamed all over his face. His eyes were a shade of violet you’d never seen before and the way he was looking at you right now has your stomach tightening in knots. 
His hand slid from your lower back, a warm heat following his palm as he skimmed over your ass, grabbing your thigh and jerked your leg over his hips. He leaned in and kissed you. It was soft and sweet and made you lose yourself in it for a moment before you came to a realisation and reluctantly pulled away. 
“Wait, you were serious?”
“Yeah?” He looked down at your chest, hand moving to your waist. “You thought I wasn’t?”
“Yeah. It just seems a bit…I dunno. I don’t want you to feel forced into doing it,” you whispered. He rolled his eyes and sat up, your back moving to lay flat as he rolled on top of you.
“Nobody can force me to do anything” he stated, and kissed you again. 
“I know but—” You barely had time to respond as his lips pressed against yours again. His hips lowered against yours and the growing erection in his shorts brushing against your inner thighs had you humming reverently into his mouth. “This feels different though,” you finished, out of breath as you finally gathered the strength to break away.
“Doesn’t have to be. It can be an experiment or something.” His head dipped down to leave a trail of ticklish kisses on your neck, body bowing up to press your chest against his. “Besides, I kinda wanna know how it feels now,” he mumbled against your skin.
“Really?” you asked, mildly embarrassed of the way your voice went high for a moment.
“Mmhm.” He sat up and grabbed your hips, lifted them up at an angle to help slide your shorts down, your panties following shortly after.
You didn’t have time to feel embarrassed as he spread your legs open, running his hands up and down your thighs as he eyed your exposed pussy. “Fuck,” he breathed, setting your hips back down on the bed.
“Rindou,” you whispered as he set himself between your legs. His eyes lingered on your beautiful pussy, how it was already wet, slick sticking to your folds. He licked his lips. He looked up at you and you smiled shyly, fighting the urge to hide your face in the pillow at the feeling of being so exposed to him. 
He gripped onto your thighs, nails digging into your skin as he dipped his head down, licking a long, experimental stripe up your pussy. Your mouth fell open, a slow, long, shaky breath escaping you. 
He gauged your reaction, licking another stripe just to watch your head fall back to the pillow, hands scrambling to touch his hair. He grinned and moved closer to your clit, throbbing and shiny from his saliva. The sound that escaped you when he sealed his lips around your clit and sucked was enough to instantly make him hard, his name a long breathy moan on your lips that had him fighting to grind futilely into your bed to relieve some pressure.
He gained some more confidence and began sucking and licking at your pussy, the taste of you sweet and addictive on his tongue. Rindou wasn’t sure what he was expecting but it wasn’t this. He found himself with this desperate desire to pull as many sounds from you as possible. His tongue, flicking repeatedly against your clit, slid down to your hole, hesitating for a moment before gently pushing it through and the way you keened had him groaning into your cunt. He tongue licked in every direction inside you, fucking in and out, and making the wettest mess on your pussy. His nose brushed against your clit as he moved his face side to side, taking in your scent.
Rindou wasn’t an idiot. He’d seen porn before. He knows how to make a girl scream with his cock, and fingers, but never his tongue. Before he’d never seen the appeal of eating pussy, and before your conversation today, he wouldn’t have been open to the idea. But laying here now, the bottom half of his face drenched in your wetness, and your thighs squishing against the sides of his head, he realised he didn’t want to stop. 
Not even as you came, your walls pulsing tight against his tongue, his arms wrapping around both your thighs to keep you down even as your hips began to twitch. He exploded in his pants. He didn’t even realise, not as his mind was distracted with repeating your moans on loop, on keeping you down on the bed as you tried to squirm away from his tongue. He kept licking and sucking, and kissing your folds until they were puffy and overstimulated. 
He wanted to see your face, what kind of expression you were making but you refused to look at him, two hands covering the sight. He closed his eyes and sucked your clit, feeling it throb in his mouth. Everything was so addictive, the taste of you, the feeling of digging his hands into your thighs, the way your hips couldn’t stay still.
“I can’t—Rin, please,” you begged, voice worn out. “It’s too much.”
“Just a bit more,”  he mumbled, pushing your legs to your chest. He readjusted himself to lick deeper into your pussy, holding your legs by the ankles as you struggled to take anymore of this. “Fuck you taste so good.” He let go of one ankle and spread your folds apart with two fingers, flicking his tongue against your pussy. His face was buried in your sex, eyes squeezed impossibly shut as his mouth sloppily kissed and licked like a starved man.
He hummed and smiled when your entire body jolted. Your hand flew to your mouth and your back arched, gripping the sheets as you came for the second time, your entire body buzzing and you shook, toes curling as you rocked through it. 
He sat up and you watched through tired eyes as he swiped a hand over his face. You raised your arms up and he lowered himself until you wrapped your arms around his neck. He slid his hands under your thighs, lifting you up, and you squealed, wrapping your legs around his hips. 
You pulled him in for a kiss, his tongue tangling with yours. All you could taste was yourself and your face heated up when you realised. He pulled your bottom lip into your mouth and bit it, your moan stuttering off into a groan. You broke the kiss and looked down as he settled you back on the bed, your hand drawn to the hard bulge in his boxers. 
He hissed when you grabbed his cock, then froze as your hand touched something wet. You slowly peeled your hand away and brought it up to your face, your eyes going wide at the strings of cum sticking to your palm.
“Did you…?”
“What?” Rindou looked at you confused before he felt a wet patch in his pants. “Oh my fucking god.” 
“Did you seriously bust in your pants without noticing?”
“Laugh and I’ll kill you.” Your face contorted as you tried to keep from smiling, the facade breaking as you burst into a fit of giggles and laughter, holding your stomach.
“I said you couldn’t handle me, and I was right!”
He rubbed a hand over his face, feeling blood rush to his cheeks turning them to a sensitive pink hue. “Please stop laughing.”
“Oh my god.” You smiled at him, the expression so endearing for a minute he forgot his humiliation until you started giggling again, seeing his blush. 
“I swear I didn’t even feel it,” he sighed, flopping down next to you. You pulled him closer, wrapping your arms around his neck. 
“I won’t tell anyone don’t worry. It was cute.”
It definitely wasn’t his finest moment, and he still doesn’t know how or why his body reacted that way, but the fact remains that this moment will be engraved in his memory every single time he eats pussy in the foreseeable future.
“Oh my god,” he groaned, covering his face, ears heating up when you started cackling again.
“Stop laughing right now before I bring up the time you almost puked when sucking me off.” Your laughter immediately died as you stared at him, his smirk only growing. “Or the time you farted when on top. Or the time you—”
“Finish the last one and I’ll kill you,” you threatened, voice serious.
His mouth was still open, his eyebrows raising as he gauged your reaction. “When you burped in the middle of making out,” he finished and you sat up quickly, smothering him in the face with a  pillow.
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