#“oh but she acts just like a kid” WHY DO YOU THINK. WHY.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
get what i want ’cause i ask for it (not because i’m really that deserving of it)
rafe cameron x f!reader; nsfw 18+
Summary: Rafe is so close to receiving the CEO title of his father’s company, he can taste it. But before he can have his dream job, he has to complete the most grueling task he’s ever been given: watch over the bratty heiress of their partner company, who’s decided to make his life hell.
He’s persistent. But so is she.
A/N: tags, warnings, and more on ao3!
“So,” Rafe started, striding into his father’s office and getting way too comfortable in the chair. Ward’s clients would expect nothing less than Memory Foam under their pompous asses, of course– how could you not sink down and kick your feet on the desk? “What’s next for me? Corner office with big windows? Company Lexus? A solid-gold bathroom?”
“I’ll be frank. What the hell are you talking about?”
“When I’m CEO of Cameron Development. Duh. I’ve been hearing the rumors about Maurice retiring, and you’re gonna need someone to fill his role…”
“Easy . You haven’t even been working here a whole year,” Ward reminded him, smacking the peppermint gum Rafe hated. “And your office has big windows!”
“I’m just being cliche. It’s the title that I really want, Dad.”
“Why should I give it to you, though? You’re barely even old enough to be out of college, if you’d gone.”
It stung, when his father reminded him that he hadn’t gone to school. He swallowed anyway. “Don’t need to, not with my work ethic. I take the job you gave me really seriously. All the departments love me, we’ve had great numbers the last three quarters, I’ve secured five deals that we’ve missed out on in the past,” he ticked off. “Tell me why you shouldn’t give it to me.”
Ward leaned back in his chair, tapping his pen on the desk rapidly. “Okay, you’re right. I agree. And I actually think I have something in mind that’ll really prove to me you’re worthy of totally running this company with the CEO title.”
Rafe all but purred. “Name it.”
“I should warn you, this is… probably gonna be the ultimate test of how loyal you are to Cameron Development.”
“Jesus, am I gonna have to fight a Jedi, or something?”
“Remember when I ran errands when you were younger, and you acted like it was inhumane torture to watch Sarah for 45 minutes?”
He sulked, already rubbing at the space between his eyebrows. “Oh God. You hired her, too, didn’t you? And here I thought my job was a special offer. Are you giving one to my cousin Tristan, too? Y’know he sits down when he pees?”
“I’m not hiring your sister. Or… your cousin,” Ward sighed. “We have a huge offer coming up soon. We’re teaming up with Kerrington Design to build on the northern side of the island, meaning we’d have properties in every zone. I cannot stress enough how important this bid is, Rafe. Josephine Kerrington will be working with us for the next month or so while we iron out details.”
“This all sounds great so far,” Rafe said. “Where do I come in?”
“Josephine mentioned that she was bringing her young daughter, and that she doesn’t feel comfortable with her being alone. I offered for you to watch over her while she’s here.”
“What?!”
“Look, I know you—”
“Hate dealing with kids? Yeah, I do,” he groaned. “Dad, you realize I have actual work to do around here? I have that O’Brien meeting coming up! How am I supposed to get stuff done with someone playing Webkinz in my office?”
“You love Webkinz.”
“Good Lord. Sure, when I was six!”
“Like I said before,” Ward started, tone carrying a warning out to his son that matched his tilted head, “this is an ultimate test. I’m counting on you to be a good babysitter.” Ward’s phone trilled, forcing a wince onto Rafe’s face, and the older man leaned forward to glance at the screen. “Ah. That’s her now. They’ll be arriving today, so be on the lookout for them, eh?”
Rafe stood up, smoothing out his pants. “Yeah, well, if there’s gonna be a child on the premises, I’m getting a cup of coffee right now.”
“Probably a good idea,” Ward conceded lowly, waving his son out of his office. “Mrs. Kerrington, good morning, it’s so great to hear from you…”
Rafe stepped out and went to the floor’s coffee station, noting an unfamiliar young woman getting herself a cup from the stack of thick cardboard. The company rarely hired people under the age of 25, so he was pleasantly surprised to see someone his own age.
“Morning,” he greeted to get her to turn around, and fuck, she was cute. “I don’t recognize you. New here?”
“You could say that,” the girl cocked her head a little. “Do you know every person who works here?”
He smiled. “Oh, I do a lot of paperwork on all levels. Surely I would’ve remembered you.”
She returned his grin. “You’re sweet. I’m Y/N.”
“My name’s Rafe. Your morning been good so far?”
“So far,” she repeated him in response, returning to her empty cup. “How about yourself?”
“Fine. Just dreading later,” he sighed, reaching behind the supplies in the cabinet to find the mug he’d hidden back there.
She made a little humming noise. “Why? What’s later?”
“Ah, nothing, I just have to babysit some CEO’s daughter for a few weeks. I hope to God I’ll be able to get any work done with a kid running around here, but I’ve got a little sister. I think I’ll be fine.”
The girl nodded, a little slowly to be seen as normal, but she was cute enough that he brushed it off. His eyes trailed down to where she was about to pour the coffee into her cup and he reached out to hold her wrist and stop her actions. “Wait, whoa!”
She gasped, jumping back. “Hey, watch it!” she shook her head, pouring her cup while still a few feet away from him. “It’s hot coffee, dude. What’s your deal?”
“If you pour the powder creamer first, it dissolves when you pour the coffee in,” he explained, shaking his head. “Too late now. You shoulda listened to me.”
“Well, it really doesn’t matter when y’all have thousands of these,” she reached for a coffee stirrer. “You micromanage a lot of shit around here, or am I special?”
He scoffed. “I practically run this place, sweetheart. You should be thanking me for bestowing my wisdom on you. Now, don’t you have something, I dunno, administrative to do?”
“Administrative?” the girl parroted, setting down the stirrer. Her tone was amused, but her eyebrows were still in her hairline. “Didn’t your mother ever teach you not to talk to women like that?”
“My step-mother,” he corrected, “is a useless witch. So, no.”
Her mouth fell open. “I guess this company is run by an absolute pig.”
He clenched his jaw. Who is this girl, and how dare she speak to him like that? “You better watch how you talk to me before I–”
“Rafe!” Ward called, interrupting his son’s threat and joining the two young adults at the coffee bar. “I see you’ve already met your partner for the next few weeks. How are you, Miss Kerrington?” he turned to warmly address her, reaching out to take her hand politely and shake it. He either didn’t notice the horrific tension between them or was desperately trying to cut it.
The girl smiled. “I’m doing just fine, Mr. Cameron.”
“Please, call me Ward,” he insisted, stepping aside to grab a cardboard cup.
Rafe finally found his voice. “So, Josephine Kerrington…” he started, anxiously looking between her and his father.
“Is my mother,” Y/N finished, tilting her head smugly. “Rafe, was it? Why don’t you show me to your office?”
***
He tried to keep his back straight as he showed her where he worked, and she looked around nosily the second she was inside. While she snooped around his belongings and photos, he took another look at her.
She was wearing a lavender floral dress that was just too short to be considered professional, though those rules clearly didn’t apply to her. When she spun back around to look at him, he had to snap his gaze back up quickly to not reveal he’d been staring at her ass.
“So, Y/N,” he started sheepishly. She set her coffee on the table and he ran over to put a coaster under it. “I think we got off on the wrong foot—“
“Water under the bridge,” she interrupted. “Could you Airdrop the Wifi?”
Rafe stared at her face, expecting her to burst out laughing at him. “I understand all of those words, separately.”
She sighed. “You have wireless internet here, no?”
“We do.”
“And I assume it’s password protected?”
“That’d be a correct assumption.”
“And I also bet it’s harder to type than ‘cameronwifi’?”
He scrunched his face. “It’s some combination of letters and numbers, so yeah.”
She pressed her lips together. “Figured. Open up contacts on your phone.”
Rafe obeyed, though he didn’t know why. Curiosity, maybe? She put in her number then guided him to the Wifi tab and held her phone up. The password to the internet auto-filled on her device and she was already skipping away to use it.
“What? I don’t get a ‘thank you’?” he snorted, putting his phone back in his pocket.
“Why? You didn’t even do anything!” She flopped on the couch. “Feel free to text me, now that you’ve got my number.”
He scoffed. “Are you hitting on me?”
Y/N rolled her eyes. “Yeah right, nerd. If I did hit on you, I’d probably comment on your Marlon Brando slicked hair. Heavy gel, in this decade, it’s a sexy and modern choice.”
There was no holding back now. “You’re a brat.”
“Get used to it.”
“Why should I? It’s not like you do anything.”
“You say that like I’m not important.”
“Of course you’re not important here. You—You don’t even have a title!”
“Ah, that’s just not true,” she corrected. “I’m a CTA. Chief Tactics Associate.”
Rafe rubbed at his forehead. “What the hell does that mean?”
“It means what I say, goes.”
He snickered. “Is that so?”
“Glad you find it funny. Why do you think I’m even here? My opinion means a lot to my mother, and if I run to her and tell her I don’t like how things are run at your company, she’ll pick up her business and run to the next development firm that’s eagerly waiting to spring properties up on the island.”
Rafe’s stomach turned. With how important this deal was to Ward, she really had the upper hand on him. “Fine. Just stay out of my way while I work, and we should get along alright.”
A smile curled up on her face. “I’ll try my best, sir.”
***
She did not.
When confronted by his son, Ward was not sympathetic. He eventually gave a half-hearted apology but not before bursting out laughing in Rafe’s face. His only defense was something like, “Josephine’s exact words were ‘young daughter’. How was I supposed to know she’s able to vote?”
“I sure love finding you in my office all the time,” Rafe announced sardonically to the girl lying on his comfy leather couch watching loud Tik Toks.
He knew why she hovered, of course. Even if his father hadn’t twisted his arm into watching her, he was one of the few people in the building within ten years of her age. It made sense that she’d linger around him, even if she was a nuisance most of the time.
She didn’t look up from her phone. “It has the best view. Big windows.” She reached into her shirt, dipped into her bra and pulled out what looked like a USB until she brought it to her mouth and sucked.
Rafe reached down to snatch it from her hand and stuck it in his lapel pocket. “Not in my office.”
She waved her hand around annoyedly, letting the tiny wisps of smoke escape from her lips. “Vibe killer. I’ve got another one at home.”
“I’m sure you do,” he muttered, sniffing the air. “Wait. Is this mint? They don’t make JUUL pods in that flavor anymore.”
“I get ‘em from Europe,” she explained impatiently.
He huffed. “How stupid of me,” he noted before stalking over to his computer. He looked around his desk and noticed things were not as he left them. “Goddamnit, quit messing around with my stuff! I’ve told you before, I care ab–” he stopped himself, and the pause actually garnered her attention.
Rafe picked up a stack of documents and inspected them carefully. “Wait. These are the quarterly verification logs?”
“I know what they are. Title at the top and everything.”
“Y/N, I’ve been trying to get these back from credentialing for months. I email them twice a day, they don’t even blink at me. Is this what you did during my meeting?”
“Yeah. I saw you typing one up earlier, so I paid their department a little visit when I was bored. Can I have my JUUL back as a prize?”
Rafe laughed. “I thought you had another one at home.”
“You called my bluff.”
He rolled his eyes, but still reached into his jacket and tossed her the stick. She caught it and took another rip, looking behind him and shaking her head wistfully. “Just imagine what else you could get done if you had a pair of tits to weaponize with every half-witted employee you have crawling around here.”
Hmm. Maybe he didn’t have to imagine.
***
His least favorite part of what he did was dealing with the shareholders, by far.
He gets it. A critical part of the job was kissing rich ass despite them knowing the least about what’s best for the company, because money makes the world go round. But the meetings he was forced to sit in on were like pulling teeth, and every minute he sat in those rooms was a performance. He nodded along, looked over papers and presentations, pretended not to notice the older men had no idea where they were, and shook hands until they slapped their thighs and announced it was time to head out.
Today, the meeting ran over, because none of those antiquated bastards have any concept of time. His skin itched, watching the clock tick minute after minute when he should already be getting back to work. When they finally noticed, Rafe pretended to receive a critical phone call to escape without dealing with their falsely pleasant goodbyes.
Rafe rested his forehead on his office door before going inside. For a moment, he forgot everything that was going on in his life, and prepared himself to enjoy the rest of the day in peace and quiet.
Except, he couldn’t, because Y/N was sitting in his chair, feet kicked up on his desk, with one of his lollipops in her mouth. He deflated, walking over to see what she was doing. Rafe groaned when his eyes landed on a coloring book and some crayons in her lap, and was especially peeved that she was too focused on Aurora’s hair to look up at him.
“What are you, five?” he sneered, picking up a completed Ursula and Ariel sheet off his desktop. “That’s you,” he said, pointing to the villainous witch.
Y/N’s eyes flicked up annoyedly and she took the sucker out, letting it clack on her teeth. “Yeah, and you’re so mature.” Without breaking eye contact, she placed the glistening lollipop right on his desk.
“Damnit, you–,” he sputtered, picking up the candy and remorsefully throwing it away. He swiped at the wet spot that remained and brought his fingers to his lips without thinking. It looked like the wood was too dark to show a stain anyways. “You win. Just, please get up.”
She waved around to the many empty chairs in his office. “Sit somewhere else.”
“It’s my office,” he scoffed. “Get up. Or you can sit in my lap, if you want,” Rafe added with a smirk.
Y/N grimaced. “Do I need to go to HR?”
“Best of luck with that, doll. The Lead HR lady is my godmother.”
She paused her coloring to look up at him. “Tell me, is there anyone in this building you don’t have a familial relation to?”
“Our CTA.”
“You’re funny.”
“I know. That’s why I thought you’d jump on the offer to sit on my lap.” She ignored him again, returning to coloring the pink dress. Rafe glanced at the stack of manila envelopes on his desk and an idea popped into his head. “Say, has my father shown you the mail room here?”
She lifted an eyebrow–he almost laughed at how easy she was to entertain. “Mail room?”
He nodded. “Yeah, real shiny place. There’s tubes all over the building that we shoot letters into that all lead to the mail room downstairs. It’s a really cool set-up, and I think you’d like it.” He looked at his desk again, feigning surprise. “Oh, hey! And these need to be sent out anyways. They don’t fit in the chutes, so you have an excuse to snoop around there.” He picked up the stack and held them out to her, fully expecting her to snort and tell him to shove them up his ass. It’s what his sister would do.
But to his complete surprise, she nodded wordlessly and set her colors down. She took the envelopes and skipped out of the office on a mission.
Shit. Maybe he could make this work.
***
Two hours later, Rafe burst out of his own office, crashing right into his father.
“Hey, I was just coming to check on you,” he greeted before noticing Rafe’s sour expression. “Whoa, what’s wrong?” Ward asked, holding out a hand to his son’s chest to slow him down.
“Oh, nothing. Just that Y/N painted her nails in my room earlier,” he huffed. Likely because she wanted to cover up the scent of her dab pen, he really wanted to add on. “I made her count reams of paper to make her leave, but the room still smells like chemicals. Getting a migraine.”
“Did you open a window?”
“No, Dad, and I also didn’t try spraying Febreze, so don’t ask,” he snapped.
Ward pressed his lips together, eyebrows lifting softly. “Come sit in my office for a little?” he offered.
Rafe nodded, pressing the up button himself. His phone in his pocket chirped to indicate a text message, but he didn’t move. The phone buzzed over and over, beeping so many times that they were cutting themselves off.
Ward blinked. “Gonna check that?”
“Nope. I know it’s just Y/N.”
“Why is she sending you so many texts?”
“I made the mistake of giving her my number in case she needed anything. Now, she sends me fifty iMessage games if I’m not paying attention to her.” The elevator doors opened again to the top floor. “Dad, you don’t realize. She’s the most annoying pest I’ve ever had to deal with.”
“Worse than your sister?”
Rafe hesitated. “She gives her a run for her money.”
***
Y/N bounded up to Rafe the following day, looking from the phone nestled in the crook of his neck to where the cord led back to the desk. She brought a freshly pink-tipped finger to the hook switch and pressed it, ending his call.
“I got the signatures from the guys in accounting,” she announced, pulling the papers out to show him. “Have you actually seen them? They are literally the palest people I’ve ever met.”
Rafe sputtered with anger, slamming the phone back in the cradle. “You didn’t have to do that! I was on hold with a stupid robot.”
“I wanted your undivided attention,” she shrugged.
He massaged at his temples. “Whatever. Thank you for the signatures, I suppose. Say, are you having any trouble with the Wifi?”
To his dismay, her face brightened. “Oh, right! I wanted to ask IT if you can change the password for only the router in your office, and the answer is yes,” she giddily explained, pointing to the white box pinned to the ceiling above her.
“Um, okay. What’s the new password?”
“It’s ‘misskerringtonlovesanal420’, no caps, no spaces.”
He sighed. “Are you serious?”
“Well, I’ve never actually tried doing it. But I wanted to see if I could make the IT guy squirm and he totally–”
“I meant, is it seriously the password?” he stopped her, tired of being reminded that every touch-starved man on the premises was at the sheer whim of this girl.
“See for yourself.”
Click click click. “Ugh, really?”
“Tell me you wouldn’t do this shit if you had the freedom to.”
He didn’t respond to that. It seemed he’d have to try a little harder to keep the girl busy and out of trouble. Rafe slipped a hand into his lapel pocket and pulled out a folded $20, extending it out for her. “If I give you this, will you go to the cafeteria downstairs and get us both turkey sandwiches?”
She took the money and slipped it in her bra, already on her way out. “Yes, but we’re getting rotisserie chicken. They’re so much better.”
“Wait, I want turkey!” he called after her.
“Too bad!”
***
Rafe woke up late.
He’d spent the last week working double time to make sure Y/N stayed out of trouble and his normal tasks were fulfilled. It was no wonder that at some point he’d break and the back-up Pinball alarm would fail him. Why the fuck this had to happen the morning of his O’Brien meeting, he’ll never know.
He ran into his building in such a hurry he felt the soles of his shoes wearing down. He didn’t stop for the doorman, the HR intern, and sure as shit not for his father, who all tried to strike up a conversation.
“Dad, please, I can’t talk right now,” Rafe huffed out to the last one, clicking the elevator button over and over. “I’m super late to a meeting with–”
“This is slightly more important,” Ward insisted. “There was a cyber attack. IT is taking care of it, but something got in through our Wifi, and our emails have been a mess all d–”
“Wait,” Rafe interrupted, ignoring the car arriving at the ground floor. “You said the Wifi?”
“Well, yeah. They said there was a leak at our security company, and any routers with passwords that haven’t been reset in the last month were affected. They’re routinely reset four times a year, so we just got unlucky.”
Rafe was so stunned he had to be pulled onto the elevator by his father. “Is everything alright?”
He tossed around what to do here. If he admitted Y/N dicking around had accidentally protected his router, he’d run the risk of exposing not only how he’d been getting her to do his work but also how he really hadn’t been monitoring her too strictly. Hell, she could’ve done the opposite and totally fucked over their security if she wasn’t careful.
“Yes, actually, I was having trouble and changed my own router last week,” he lied, words fumbling out in a jittery string. “Guess I just got lucky. God, how is this elevator so slow?”
Ward raised his eyebrow at his bouncy son. “Is everything alright?”
“O’Brien meeting in negative two minutes,” he shouted, looking at his watch and slipping through the crack between the barely-open doors. “Damn Irish.”
“It’s funny because we’re actually Scottish!” his father called after him, but Rafe really didn’t care.
He threw open the doors to his own office and waved off a dazed Y/N to run behind his desk. “Hey, Bossman,” she greeted him, clearly oblivious to the rush he was in. “I had a great idea for us to do.”
Rafe dug through his desk drawers, sorting through Sharpies and Post-Its looking for the USB drive holding the O’Brien floor plans. “Lemme get back to you on that.”
“Are you sure? It’ll only take a minute.”
“Y/N, I can’t right now. I’ve got a meeting that I’m already late for, and it’s really important that I–”
“Oh, that? I moved it.”
He halted in his tracks, blood colder than ice. “You moved my meeting with the O’Briens?!” he asked, wiping sweat off his forehead.
“Yeah,” she answered bubbly. “I wanted to get a chocolate croissant at that bakery down the street but they close early in the day, so I called and asked those guys if they’d be okay with the same time tomorrow. All I had to do was say it conflicted with Kerrington business, and they were cool with it. Ready to go?”
Rafe was… fucking flabbergasted. Not only did she take it upon herself to move a career-altering meeting without his permission over a fucking baked good, but she’d used her name to persuade the O’Briens into compliance. He thought back to the wifi– she’d just unintentionally saved his ass, twice, in the same fucking day.
“Why are you looking at me like that? I looked at your calendar first. You’re not busy.”
He couldn’t help himself. Rafe lunged forward, taking her face into his hands and planting a big kiss on her lips. She made a surprised squeak before relaxing into his touch and returning the favor.
When he pulled away, her eyes were still shut for two seconds too long. “Yeah, I could go for a Kouign-amann. After you,” he said, waving his hand out to the door.
***
Rafe had just finished the yellow cross on his Rubik’s cube when his father knocked on the door of his office. He waved him in with two fingers but went right back to diligently solving his puzzle.
“Where is Y/N?” Ward asked, taking a seat in front of his son’s desk.
“Out to lunch with her mother.”
“And you didn’t go with her?” he teased.
This got Rafe to look up from the cube, but he still shot his father an exasperated glare. Not only did that sound like a nightmare and a half, he was a little uneasy about being around her.
He’d acted a little rash yesterday when he was pumped full of adrenaline and stress, he’ll admit it– though, if he had made her uncomfortable with the kiss, she didn’t act like it. She went right back to the hellion force of nature she was before (like forcing him to play 20 Questions with her, and when the person was revealed to be Ghandi, going on a long rant about his problematic behavior as if she hadn’t chosen the man herself). Kinda why he was enjoying the rare peace and quiet he just lost.
“Why’d you stop by?” A much more pleasant way of saying why oh why are you in my office and what’s the quickest way I can get you out.
“At some point I want you to complete the follow-up for the Carroll’s. I know they’re a-holes, so feel free to not put this high on your priority list. I could care less if it gets done by the end of the week, if I’m being honest.”
“Oh, so you haven’t been honest before?” Rafe snapped, getting too frustrated and slamming the Rubik’s cube back down on the desk. “And you mean you couldn’t care less,” he tacked on.
Ward pursed his lips together and tried to hold back a snort. “Okay, let’s make a deal. I won’t use either of those phrases anymore, and you quit taking out your annoyance with Y/N on me.”
“Not really fair, since her antagonism in my life is very much your fault.”
“C’mon, you’ve been doing a great job so far! Is she that hard to get along with?” Ward sighed. “She’s a cute girl who could charm birds out of trees and y’know, she reminds me a lot of you.”
Rafe winced. “That’s the worst thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“Oh, hush. You’re both hardworking, loyal, and heirs, obviously.”
“How is she hardworking? All she does is traipse around the office and make messes for me to clean up.”
“Really? Because, from what I’ve heard around the office, you’ve turned her into your little administrative assistant. Are you sure that’s what Mrs. Kerrington wants?”
“I don’t know what Mrs. Kerrington wants!” he groaned, rubbing at his forehead. “If you didn’t notice, she kind of dropped a teenager off at my doorstep and made me figure out how to balance watching her and work.”
“She’s an adult,” Ward muttered, sinking down in the chair.
“Those are not mutually exclusive,” Rafe snapped back, then shook his head. He leaned forward and started working on the Rubik’s cube again. “Whatever. I’m over it. Not really, but I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” His eyes darted up to the clock on his wall. “You’ve got a Zoom call with the West Coast in ten minutes, anyways.”
Ward checked his watch and jumped up when he realized his son was correct.
***
“How did you even manage to get into my computer?!” Rafe shouted, slamming his hands on his desk and standing up.
“Your password was literally your last name and birth year, doll,” she explained, far too casual for someone who hadn’t just turned his entire desktop set-up to various shades of pink and purple. He didn’t fail to notice how she was picking up on his mannerisms these last few weeks. “And the password hint was ‘name and year’. Have you ever taken a computer safety class in your life?”
“Stop talking to me like I deserve to have you snooping around my stuff! Change it back!”
“Absolutely not. How could you work with it before? It was so dull and… default settings.”
Rafe scrubbed his face with his hands, realizing it didn't relax him at all. “I am genuinely so tired of your presence,” he admitted, waving a hand and trying not to clench it in a fist when she giggled at him. “I’m serious! You constantly get in the way. I don’t even know why I put up with you.”
“Because my say is the last stop in this agreement, and you’re in charge of keeping me happy.”
He grimaced at the reminder. “Right. You’re the gleaming epitome of nepotism. I get it.”
She all but gasped. “Are you joking? And just what does that make you?”
“Hey, I actually work here. I’ve put in effort to get where I am.”
She barked out a laugh. “Yeah. And I’m sure daddy had nothing to do with it.”
“I’m on the Board of Directors here!”
“Which your father also assembled!” she shouted, then shook her head with a smile. “Actually, y’know what? I get it now. You hate me because I’m you.”
He spat at the assumption. “We are completely different.”
“No, we’re not. We’re both spoiled nepotism babies who overvalue our importance. I just don’t give enough of a fuck to lie about it. Tell me, do you hate seeing yourself when you look at me? Is that it?”
Rafe exhaled heavily through his nose, trying to refrain from storming out and knocking over a vase on his way out. “Is there any particular reason you’re always such a pain to me and an angel around everyone else?”
Y/N raised herself up on her tiptoes to (unsuccessfully) get closer to his height. “Because I like making mean guys suffer. And because you’re so cute when you’re mad.”
“And you’re just cute enough to get my shit done for me.”
Yeah, that was fucking dumb to say. Her jaw dropped the moment the words regretfully tumbled off his tongue and not even slapping his hand over his mouth could save him.
“Wait, that’s what you’ve been doing? You were using me to get your fucking work done?”
“Y/N, no, I–”
“And just when I thought we were kind of getting along for a minute. Do you think I’m just a tool for you to use?”
Kind of. His mouth hung open dumbly for too many moments, because she scoffed in disgust and pushed past him.
He called at her and tried to grab her arm, but she yanked away again. “If you follow me, I’m telling my mom what a chauvinistic louse you are.”
Rafe waited for the mischievous grin to creep on her face, but it didn’t. She was cold. He’d fucked up.
In immaculate timing, a new secretary hire knocked on the barely open door of his office. “Mr. Cameron? Miss Kerrington? The board meeting starts in four minutes,” the intern informed the two, just poking his head in enough to get the words out before disappearing.
She huffed one more time, spinning around and marching out of the room. He was conflicted, since he was mandated to be at the meeting but was terrified of pissing her off. He chased her down the halls, wanting to at least be present for his own damnation.
He only caught up to her just as she joined the groups of execs, far too late for him to attempt to stop her again. He held his breath as he watched her take her seat next to her mother. His face was hot, waiting for her to spill the beans and get his ass in immense trouble.
She… didn’t, though. She just sat down, looked at her phone under the desk, and shifted in the chair to get comfortable.
“Rafe? You alright?” he heard, and he looked down to see his dad waving him towards the table. “Let’s get this started.”
***
“And to recap, these are the outsourcing companies we plan to use. Contracts are already underway…” Mr. Henthorn droned. Or… Hawthorn. Who gives a crap.
“Why isn’t Upwards Lumber on this list anymore?” Josephine asked. “I thought we agreed on them in our earlier phases.”
Ward hesitated, looking around to his team before answering. “Well, last week we were informed Upwards wasn’t able to handle projects of this size anymore.”
Josephine’s eyes narrowed. “I thought they worked with the Ambetter building downtown?”
“They did. But apparently a year and a half ago, they were heavily audited and half their workers were laid off due to failed drug screenings. Upwards is really only able to handle small commercial projects until they rebuild their crew.”
Drug screens are just elitist, targeting bullshit, Rafe thought, and Ward looked over with a stern blink as though he could read his son’s mind. Probably not the time to be making any kind of statement anyways.
Josephine stiffened. “Well. Bullet dodged, I suppose. Kerrington doesn’t tolerate drug use of any kind, at any level.”
Ward agreed with her imperative demand, but Rafe had to hide a smirk behind his fist. It was one thing for Y/N to obnoxiously hit her JUUL in his office, but if mommy saw the dab cart that sometimes stuck out of her bag, it’d be a little harder to explain.
He looked up to Y/N. Sure, she was fuming and likely going to snitch on him any minute now, but she still had a sense of humor, so he expected to share at least a moment of amused, knowing eye contact. To his surprise, though, she was completely slumped down in the chair. Her gaze was down on the table and she picked at her fingernails, hiding from everyone else in the room. Rafe’s eyebrows furrowed, and he looked over to Josephine, who was shooting her daughter a fiery glare.
The daughter who was a bratty, uncontrollable mess. The one who had pretty condemnatory dirt on Rafe and, knowing her character, was being oddly silent about it. The one who’d been dropped off for him to essentially babysit for the last few excruciating weeks.
Babysit.
The pieces assembled themselves in his brain so quickly he nearly got vertigo in the swivel chair. That’s why he’s had to fucking watch her this whole time– because she needed watching. No wonder she didn’t snitch on Rafe for whoring her out for paperwork. She was never there for him to entertain and keep happy; he just had to make sure she wasn’t sneaking off to do drugs. And really, he hadn’t done a great job at it.
He didn’t bother beating himself up, since his directions were incredibly unclear and he’d been expecting to watch a fourth grader to begin with. Regardless, the tension in the room was palpable and the respective girl’s face had already turned a burning pink.
The moment the meeting was over, Y/N did the least annoying thing she’d done since the first day she stepped into the building. She stood up, stormed out of the meeting room, and disappeared for the rest of the day.
***
Showing up to the office in the dark had a much different energy than during the daytime. The area was quite nice, so it wasn’t like she felt particularly unsafe going in, but without the doorman greeting her and pulling open the massive front door, something felt off.
Although, it was nice that no one was there to watch her vomit in the receptionist’s trash can. Helena would be pissed come Monday morning, but Y/N was currently more concerned with how much better she felt after getting that out of her system.
Muscle memory is the only thing that got her in the elevator and pushing the right button. When she reached the desired floor, a wave of his aftershave and cigarette smoke hit her nose. She floated on the scent, lost in the way it wrapped around her, until it carried her right into the office of the man she was looking for.
Of course, she didn’t barge in. Rafe didn’t notice her arrival right away so she remained in the shadows to watch him work. It was outlandish, how attractive he was—he was focused hard on some stack of papers with one hand scrubbing at his temple and the other occasionally taking the cigarette that rested between his lips and ashing it. The smoke escaped his mouth in aggravated sighs, curling around his head before disappearing into the room. He’d cracked open a window in some attempt to hide the smell, but it only breezed its way into the hall. This close, it wasn’t even nauseating, but more like a cologne.
From her spot, she could see that he’d unbuttoned some of his shirt to reveal his lean chest. It was strange, seeing some indicator that he was capable of relaxing. He’d had a stick up his ass since the day she met him, so imagining him exhausted and popping the top few buttons on his shirt was almost… endearing.
Her balance was, as expected, not up to par. She leaned a little too far one way, and before she knew it, she stumbled right into the light as well as Rafe’s eyeline. He called her name confusedly, and when her head snapped up, she caught him stubbing out the cig as he stood.
“It’s cute,” she noted, nodding at the ashtray and trying not to trip over her own feet as she got back up. “You, putting out the cigarette. Like I don’t smoke in your office when you’re not here.”
Rafe waved his hands around and tossed the window open even further. “Lighting a cigarette is more serious than hitting your stupid Brass Knuckles pen. What are you doing here so late?”
“I could ask you the same thing.”
“I work here,” he bit back. His gaze trailed down her body, taking in her immodest party dress and heels. “I see when you go out, you wear even less than you do at work. Astonishing.”
“I can wear even less, if you’d like.”
His eyes narrowed, and he ignored her flirting. She was speaking far too quickly and clearly to be just drunk. Rafe took a step forward and inspected her eyes. Sure enough, her pupils were blown wide to accompany her pink cheeks. “You didn’t only drink, did you?”
Y/N’s lips curled up gently. “Would you be mad if I didn’t?”
“Of course not, sweetheart, but…” he straightened her clothes and made sure she was okay otherwise, “were you planning on going home like this?”
She shook her head. “I was out with my friend Mona and figured I’d crash at her place. Which I was going to do, until I noticed I was near your office and decided to pay a visit.”
He sighed. “Well, I’ve got to get you home safely.”
Her eyes flew to the back of her head. “What’re you, my dad?”
Rafe bristled. “No, but mine is in the building, and so is your ball-gripping mother. We kinda need to get you the fuck out of here.”
She scoffed. “Yeah, they’re not on this floor, though. That’s why you felt comfortable doing this.” Y/N reached into his lapel pocket and pulled out a solid red Bic lighter. She brought her thumb up and spun the dial, sparking it just a little too close to their faces.
He annoyedly snatched the lighter out of her hands. “Why did you come here?”
She bounced up on the tips of her toes and pulled at the back of his neck for a kiss. It felt good, charged, but his rational brain pushed her away immediately. She pouted.
“Y/N, stop. We absolutely cannot do that.” He wasn’t sure how to finish his sentence, but a Rolodex of options cycled through his mind. Because you’re barely 18 and I’m about to be 22. Because I’m basically your babysitter. Because our parents would kill us. Because you look like you’ve taken both cocaine and molly and it seems you’ve forgotten you were quite mad at me eight hours ago. Because the charge I would catch would be astronomical. Take your pick.
“Why not? We’ve kissed before. I thought it was a good kiss. I think about it a lot. Don’t you?” She still had a firm grip on the nape of his neck, so she toyed with the hair that brushed against her fingers.
Rafe weighed his options, quickly doing the math of when she’d probably started partying to when it should wear off and she’d crash. “Of course I do,” he admitted, honestly, because there’s a chance she’d forget half of this night anyways. “But not here. Is it alright if we go to my place?”
She smiled, letting her hand fall around his shoulder and down his chest. “You don’t still live with daddy, huh?”
He let out a soft laugh, reaching behind himself to grab his wallet and keys. “Nope. C’mon, let’s get out of here.”
***
By Rafe’s estimation, she only had about five more minutes of hyperactivity before she crashes and the alcohol takes over her system. She’ll lose interest in trying to get in his pants, and want nothing more than a warm bed, which Rafe conveniently had to spare. His apartment was seven minutes away, so the timing should work out perfectly.
But that didn’t mean she was going to make it easy for him.
She was relentless. Playing with his tie in the office elevator, winking at him when he opened the car door for her, reaching to rub his thigh while he pulled out of the garage onto the streets. He couldn’t very well stop her without revealing his plans to dump her off and go right back to work, but holy fuck she was making it really hard to focus on driving.
Getting her inside his apartment was easy enough, like she was trying to remain casual in public. As soon as they were inside, all bets were off and she was back to being the horny brat she was in the car.
He got her in one of the guest rooms, and she seemed oblivious to his attempts to get her asleep. Y/N tried pawing at his clothes, but he stopped her, taking her wrists with a tight grip. “Ah-ah. Listen to me,” he ordered, and she obeyed with an impatient sulk. “I have some questions. Can you answer me, sweetheart?”
Y/N nodded impatiently, and he smiled when she held a long blink. A good sign.
Rafe guided her backwards, switching her wrists into only one of his hands. “Which of your friends does your mom like the best?”
She froze. “I– what?”
His now-free hand came up to stroke her cheek, gently moving back to card through her hair. “Just answer me, pretty girl.”
“Her name is Samantha.”
Rafe nodded, pushing once more until the back of her knees hit the bed. “Good girl. Does she live in town?”
Y/N nodded, eyes big and innocent. “Yeah, uh, she does.”
He finally led her down until she sat on the mattress, and she took the initiative to climb in herself. He carefully joined her, not lying down with her but remaining close to keep her on the line. “Have you seen her in the last month?”
“Yes… why are you aski–?”
He shushed her, having her get comfortable and continuing to pet her hair. “Don’t worry about it. I’m trying to help you.”
Fortunately, she was already shutting her eyes and wiggling down further into the bed. He placed a kiss on her forehead and brought the throw blanket from the foot of the bed to her body. It probably wasn’t comfortable to sleep in that dress, but it did not feel right to undress her in this state.
And now, it was back to the office.
***
The elevator stopped at the third floor, which confused Rafe, since most everyone on that level should be home. His back stiffened when the doors opened to reveal Josephine Kerrington. She looked exactly the same as she did during the day, not a pin out of place. It almost amazed Rafe, how kempt she looked even this late at night.
“Oh, hello, Rafe,” she greeted, a warm yet hollow smile on her lips. “You’re here quite late.”
He hummed, watching the doors shut and ignoring the air between them warming up. “As are you.”
“Well, your father is a busy man. He loses track of time so often you’d think he doesn’t know what it is. I had to use a bathroom on another floor or he’d try to pitch ideas while I pissed.”
His eyes widened, and he didn’t try hiding the chuckle. Damn, Y/N’s mom was pretty funny. “Yeah, working with Y/N has been the least intense job I’ve gotten from him since I was fifteen.”
She looked at him. “How is she doing, by the way?”
Rafe inhaled, thinking back to the last couple of weeks, and to the last hour and a half he’s had. “Y/N… is a delight. She’s fun to be around, but sometimes distracting because of her charm.” Okay, okay, dial it back. “Fortunately, she’s out of my hair for the night so I can get some work done. Said she was at a friend’s house, a… Sarah? Savannah? Samanth–?”
“Samantha?” Josephine asked, turning back with a pleasant nod. “Good to hear. She’s got some terrible influences, like that friend Mina.” Damn, can’t even get the name right, Rafe thought. “You’re a lovely young man, and I hope you’re rubbing off on her.”
He winced at the innuendo, but smiled politely. “Thank you Mrs. Kerrington.”
When the doors shut, he all but clicked his heels together in glee. “Rafe Cameron, CEO. Good ring to it.” The elevator beeped in agreement.
***
Y/N wasn’t in much after that. Josephine made semi-regular appearances, but the deal seemed to be coming to a close and there was little reason for them to be around anymore. He would rather rake hot coals over his body than admit this, but he really missed the chaotic energy she brought. Things almost felt dull without needing to chase her around the building making sure she behaved.
And, y’know, without his unpaid intern.
It was Ward’s idea to have a celebratory closing banquet in the office building, but Rafe was almost certain that it was Y/N’s idea to make it casino night-themed.
Some poor team of interns had been tasked with turning the office into a Vegas-adjacent venue and knocked their job out of the park. Employees were given chips and sent out among the poker, craps, and roulette tables stationed with stiff-standing dealers clad in maroon bow ties. Cocktail waitresses went around taking drink orders and accepting chips as a tip (playing along pointlessly, as the chips were clearly from a children’s game).
He heard her before he saw her– a fake laugh laced with discomfort only he could detect in her voice. His head whipped over to see Y/N, clad in a ridiculously fitted red dress, clutching her clear plastic cup tight enough to force the color out of her knuckles while she spoke with her mother and others.
He grabbed his drink and abandoned the Texas Hold ‘Em table to pull her into the shadows. Josephine was so wrapped in her conversation he didn’t even need to request he borrow her daughter– no wonder she was so out of control.
If she didn’t want to be alone with him, she didn’t make a point of it. She was quiet in the elevator as he observed her and sipped his drink, leaning against the railing in the car, nervously bouncing her toe in her heel. When they arrived at the floor, she skipped out in front of him and beat him to the unlocked door.
Rafe drained the rest of his vodka soda and tossed the cup into his trash, pushing his hands into his coat pockets. “You lied to me,” he started, and she lifted her shoulders. “About why you were here.”
She didn’t waste a moment denying this. “And? You would, too.”
“No, I would not!”
“Really?” she raised an eyebrow. “If you were in my shoes, you’d run right to your caregiver and tell him how your mother won’t allow you to be alone for literally five minutes? That she’d requested a watchful eye on you? Or would you find a way to get them to tolerate your every whim without pushback? Frankly, the idea kinda handed itself to me when you were a misogynistic dick to me the first time we met. That was just dumb luck.”
“Dumb luck, huh?” he asked, stepping towards her. “What would you call having a coked-out teenager stumble into your office and beg you to fuck her? Is that just luck?”
She didn’t respond. He could see in her eyes she was trying not to look away, to show any apprehension, but he’d spent just too much time around her to not notice.
“Had anything to drink tonight?” he asked, taking one more step towards her until they were less than a foot apart.
Her attitude was back in a flash. “With my mom around? Yeah, a Coke Zero.”
He smiled even though he’d just been snapped at. “Good. You don’t need to be using that kind of stuff anyways.”
“Okay, Father Holy,” she rolled her eyes, and he had just about had enough of her shit.
Rafe grabbed her shoulders and pinned her between his body and the wall forcing a gasp from her. “I try to help you, over and over,” he sighed, almost disheartened. “And you’re still a little brat.”
His hands were all over her and she whined, arching into his touch and trying to get a feel of her own. He held her wrists tight and shook his head. “Yeah, right. Try behaving for once in your life and maybe you can touch me.”
Her hands fell down to her sides without fighting, and he ran his hands along her nearly-bare chest. His fingertips slipped under the straps and hem of the fabric as he savored the feeling of her skin under his palms, and he watched as goosebumps erupted over her collarbones. “You want this?” he checked, another chance for her to back out before he began to ruin her.
She nodded fervently, but when he just raised an eyebrow, pleading affirmations spilled out of her lips like a stream.
With the green light, Rafe tugged down the top part of her dress until her breasts were exposed in the cool office air. He played with her tits, switching between sucking on one nipple and using his fingers to toy with the other.
This wasn’t enough for either of them, so his attention and desperate hands went downwards. He got sick of trying to pull down the panties without undressing her fully, and ripped them right off her legs. He stuffed the torn fabric into his coat pocket and she gaped. “You owe me a new pair,” she breathed, moving her legs apart for him anyways.
“If only I could afford it,” he muttered, bringing his fingers to her now-exposed clit. “Do you know why I put up with your shit?”
“‘Cause I’m cute?” she smiled, but it quickly dissolved when his movements sped up.
“Oh, yeah. But also, I got a little promotion this morning,” Rafe said, leaving a fat wet kiss anywhere his lips could reach on the exposed skin of her collarbone. “You inadvertently made me CEO. Everything in this building is mine.”
Rafe used his legs to push hers even further apart, open her up for him even more.
“And in this moment,” he smacked her clit, and she cried out. “That includes you.”
He expected a snarky comment at this point, but he seemed to subdue her enough to continue rambling.
“I’ve dreamed of how I’d handle your ass for weeks,” Rafe admitted. “I think the only solution is to keep you under my desk with my cock down your throat. Put that smart mouth to some good for once, mm?”
She whined, pushing back against him for more friction.
“Fuck, you like that?” he asked incredulously. “It’s one thing for you to let me tame you, but you’re taking enjoyment in this? Kinda makin’ it hard for me. Never would’ve guessed you like being used like a doll so badly.”
“You’re mean,” she pouted, actually pouted at him and he grinned wolfishly.
Rafe shook his head. “No, baby, being mean would be binding your hands together with my tie and forcing you to cum until you cry.” She had no counter to that.
The fingers on his other hand pushed into her mouth, past her teeth, and she involuntarily sucked. “Good girl,” he cooed, not letting up on the strokes to her clit. “That mouth has done nothing but cause me trouble the last few weeks. Show me what good it can do, hmm?”
She nodded softly, obediently, and flicked her tongue over the digits, allowing him to pet at the inside of her cheek. She whimpered when he dipped his other fingers into her cunt, bringing them right back to her clit to keep her on the edge.
He thrusted against her thigh and gave her another little slap right where she was most sensitive. Rafe toyed with her swollen, glistening clit until she was breathing heavily and her legs were losing their stability. Had he not pinned her body tight against the wall, she’d collapse into a shaky pile of pleasure. He noticed her eyes rolling back into her head and pulled his fingers away, watching her gasp and whine at the loss of contact.
“What?”
“Need more,” she sniffled.
Rafe shook his head, almost chastising. “I know what you need.”
He was going to return to what he was doing, he wasn’t that mean. But he must’ve had her closer to orgasm than he’d anticipated because she got shameless.
“Please, please, Rafe, oh my God,” she whined, squirming under him. Her hips bucked up to try and get traction against his hands but he pulled away just in time. “Touch me again, please, I’ll do anything. I need it, please.”
His eyebrows had never been higher. He pushed his tongue along his bottom teeth amusedly. “Sweetheart, I didn’t even have to ask you to beg,” he pointed out, voice light and adoring. “But since you did anyways, I’ll help my girl out.”
She preened again, this time allowed to make contact with him. He placed a hand on her hip and pulled his cock out, already flushed and leaking and really fucking hard. Rafe dragged the precum on the tip along the entire head before bringing it to her cunt, dragging them together slowly. She cried out again at the new contact.
“Doesn’t this feel good, pretty girl?” he asked, angling just right to apply pressure on her clit. Judging by the full-body shudder he got out of her, the answer was yes.
“I want– oh fuck– more, please,” she said. He laughed a little. She knows what she likes.
“Tell me exactly what you want me to do, baby.”
“I want your cock inside me,” she begged, blinking up at him with long, fluttering lashes. “Wanna feel you stretch me open. Don’t you wanna use my cunt however you like? That’s all I want.”
Good fuck, who could resist that? He buried himself to the hilt, sending his brain to a skittering halt and hers into a frenzy. She grabbed at his back, whimpering with every inch, every drag that he stretched her open. He didn’t even register that he was getting scratched by the same nails she’d obnoxiously painted in his office just a couple weeks ago.
“Oh, wow,” he finally groaned, withdrawing and thrusting back in, letting his brain adjust to the feeling of holyfuckI’minsideherwereallyshouldn’tdothis. “I could fuck you forever. You sure you don’t want an administrative job around here?”
Her fingers made their way back up to his shoulder, head thumping against the wall. “Bite me.”
“If you insist.” He leaned in and gently sunk his teeth into the soft flesh of her neck, kissing the skin right after. He led all the way up to her ear until she was shivering and his strokes didn’t miss a beat.
Y/N’s cunt clenched around him, and he saw white. “Goddamn, sweetheart, if we’d been doing this sooner, I would’ve let you do whatever the hell you want,” Rafe groaned, moving her hair out of her face.
She can’t let anything nice stay nice, though. “Slut,” she teased, smirk disappearing with a deep stroke.
His eyes narrowed. “I’m the slut?” he asked, pulling out and forcing a whine from her.
He moved her over to his desk, shoving her over the edge and pinning her there. Rafe pushed her head against the solid wood by the nape of her neck. “I’ve wanted to bend you over like this since I laid eyes on you,” he muttered, removing his hand and sliding it down her back.
She turned back, batting her lashes at him as he lined up his ruddy tip at her core. “Mm, you should’ve. So forbidden, would’ve been so hot.”
Rafe didn’t answer, just pushed his cock into her and a soft cry escaped from her lips. She tried to bite down on them but he laughed and sank all the way in until his hips were flush with hers. “We’re over three floors away from the rest of the office. Be as loud as you want, princess.”
And she did. Honestly, it wasn’t the best advice, because hearing her cries and whimpers for his cock further in her was only making him lose his rhythm and chance of lasting more than five minutes. He felt her reach down and play with her clit, and normally he’d reprimand her for doing this without permission, but it seemed like torture with how close she already was.
Feeling her cum around his cock was un-fucking-real. He finished shortly after, pulling out to paint her inner thigh with his own spend. He amusedly watched it drip down her skin, down the legs she could barely even stand on.
“Job’s still on the table, baby,” he reminded her, tucking himself back into his trousers. “Anything to keep you here and doing that more. Blackjack next?”
#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe x reader#outer banks#obx#obx4#obx netflix#outer banks fic#outer banks smut#outer banks netflix#posts at 9 am like a totally normal person lmfao
119 notes
·
View notes
Text
Anime only watchers and people who aren't caught up with the Manga, BEWARE... Cuz I'm about to discuss Spy X Family Mission 108... You have been warned...! 👌
[SPOILERS AHEAD FROM THIS POINT ON]
WE ARE SO BACK!!! 🗣 And this chapter was... SO DAMN GOOD! 👏😆
What an awesome early Christmas present!! 💗🤗💗 Now let's get back into the swing of things, shall we...? 😉
To start off, we pick up right where we left off with Mission 107... With Yor and Anya finding out that Melinda is a fortune teller at the sheep festival!! 😲 (Also, @yumeka-sxf shared the Japanese version of the first page of this chapter the other day with other Spy X Family Jump Festa news!! 😁)
Melinda then tells Yor to not tell anyone about her being into the occult...!! She even mentions how she believes in many things, including telepathy to Anya's surprise (though, I believe there might be a reason why Melinda is into the occult, perhaps she knows more than she's letting on? 🤔)
After Yor tells Melinda that she admires that she can do what she loves and Melinda happily thinks that Yor is into the occult too, Anya then asks Melinda to read her fortune:
I was like, "Oh gosh, what's gonna happen...? What is Melinda gonna see...?!" 😵 So as I waited with baited breath to see Melinda in action, she lays out her tarot cards to read Anya's fortune and...:
SHE'S HORRIBLE AT IT!!! 🤭
I mean, this could be all an act... 🤔 But for right now, I'm gonna believe that she really isn't that good at fortune telling, mainly because I think it's funny and cute...!! 😄
After reading that the grim reaper is behind Anya (A.K.A. Yor 👏😂) and saying that Anya will NEVER get another Stella Star, Melinda asks Anya if she likes Damian... Anya of course says NO because he bullies her, but Melinda appreciates that she is still trying to be friends with Damian...!! 😊 Soon Melinda starts to think about how she wasn't there for Damian during the Desmond "family" dinner back in Mission 106 and thinks that she needs to go and face Damian, then...:
HOLY SHIT, DONOVAN JUMP SCARE!!! 😱
Ever since she introduced herself as Melinda Desmond way back in Mission 65, I didn't know how to feel about this woman, I just could not figure her out... But thanks all to of these recent developments in the last few chapters that she's been in, I think that I can safely say that Melinda needs to take Damian (and Demetrius, if he isn't too far gone) AND GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM DONOVAN!! 😫 I don't know what's up with that man, but if he can make his supposed "wife" THIS SCARED OF HIM, then he definitely NEEDS TO BE STOPPED!! 👏👏👏
Moving on, Anya hears all of Melinda's conflicting thoughts, which makes Anya wonder something...:
It always warms my heart whenever Anya shows her concern and compassion for others...! 💗 Though currently for Melinda, she could not answer Anya's question and decided to leave as soon as possible... 😔 But before she goes, Yor stops Melinda to tell her something...
We then cut back the others as Anya and Yor make their return to the group...!! Becky asks how it went, and...:
GODDAMNIT BECKY, YOU ARE JUST SOOO DELUSIONAL GIRL!! 🤣
Besides Becky thinking that her fortune teller is a hack (this girl, I swear 😌) and reacting to Anya's grim reaper fortune (with Yor being adorable about it 💗), she asks Anya about her love fortune and Anya lies and tells Becky that the fortune teller told her to get invited to his house, which makes Damian to start yelling...!! 👌😌
After Anya convinces Twilight to stay longer (because he was gonna go look for Melinda, though he doesn't know that she already left), they all stay until it becomes dark before everyone decides to leave the festival. Yor thanks the Eden kids for being friends with Anya, while Damian scoffs at seeing Anya holding her mother's hand, which causes Anya to say this to him:
Which makes Damian flustered and then Yor chimes in reaffirming Anya's statement, causing Damian to run off...!! 🤭
After that, Jeeves and the other butlers say their goodbyes and even offer to get drinks again with Twilight sometime...!! 😊 But as they left, it reminded Twilight of something that broke my heart... 🥲
ENDO!!! 😭 WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THIS STUFF TO ME!!! 💔
This was literally bringing me to TEARS!! 😫 THEY REMINDED HIM OF HIS FRIENDS, I CAN'T-- 😭😭😭
Ahem...! Sorry about that... 😢 Anyway, after *sniff* that, Twilight asks if Anya enjoyed the festival, she of course did enjoy her time there and the Forgers headed home...!! 💗
After that, we see Twilight at his psychiatrist job and he has a new patient...:
IT'S FREAKING MELINDA!! 😵
Turns out the thing that Yor told Melinda was to go see Loid because he's a doctor (she also mentions that he does "concussive therapy" to his patients👏🤣), and now Loid can (hopefully) get some info from Melinda! 😲
And that was the end of chapter, and boy did I miss this...!! 😁 Not only was this chapter fantastic on SO MANY LEVELS, but it's also great to talk about a new chapter again!! 😊 This honestly the best early Christmas gift that I could ask for...!! 💗🤗💗
I am so glad that Endo is doing a lot better and I hope that he takes it easy going forward because even though I love this series with all my heart, I'd rather have Endo get as much rest and take as many breaks as he needs then to have this man die on the job just for our entertainment. Endo is a human being like every last single one of us fans, so it's always very sad to me when I see people care more about fictional characters and their worlds over the real people that make 'em...!! 😤 More people should know better, but they don't and that just sucks so much man... 😮💨
Anyway, sorry about my little tangent there... This chapter was a wonderful chapter for the series to return with and as always, I can't wait for the next one!! 😊 So until the next Mission; take care, be safe out there and be kind to one another...!! Also...
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS Y'ALL...!! SEE YA!! 👋😄
#spy x family#sxf#spyxfamily#spy x family spoilers#sxf spoilers#spyxfamily spoilers#spy x family manga#sxf manga#spyxfamily manga#Mission 108#manga spoilers#yor forger#anya forger#melinda desmond#damian desmond#loid forger#becky blackbell#sxf jeeves#WE ARE SO FINALLY BACK Y'ALL!! 👏😆#I really missed talking about Spy × Family...! 💗🥹💗#Thank you Endo for this amazing chapter; you deserve all the rest that you can get...!! 💗🤗💗
67 notes
·
View notes
Text
Wassup y'all, I'm back from lowkey radio silence with another hot take.
I've been trying to figure out lately why my multishipper ass dislikes a lot of ships within the fandom- more specifically a lot of greaser/soc pairings, and I realised at the core of it it's because there is no conceivable universe where they work without completely changing canon or the personalities of the characters. or at the very least their loyalties and motivations. Narratively, the novel is very clear about this, it even throws Marbit in our faces to prove it, showing (greaser) Two-bit his absolute dream girl who is beautiful and fun and likes him too , and yet is forever unattainable because she's a soc.
"Oh but Lovely, you ship Marbit! And you've written Parry! Obviously you're just hating on our ships."
No, I'm not. I very specifically DON'T hate on any ship, because that makes fandom less fun and more toxic and that is the LAST thing I want to do and because everyone deserves to have their blorbos and their ships that make them happy, I'm not here to yuck anyone's yum. And I realise my claiming I can't see greaser/soc pairings and using Marbit as an example of why while also actively shipping them looks very hypocritical. That said, I ship both Marbit and Parry in a very specific way, that would work canon compliantly, or at the absolute minimum still within canon verse without changing the tensions or the history between the east side and the west wide, or the characters as people.
Do I think Marbit could work in canon (in a post canon verse)? Absolutely I do- but not with Marcia staying a soc, or (more unlikely) Two-bit staying a greaser. If it's going to work- and I think it will because they are each others person, in any universe, whether it works or not- then Marcia either needs to fully acccept that the man she's in love with is a greaser and will always be a greaser, he is from the east side, and he has nothing set up in terms of a future, and no family money to keep him safe and sheltered. She needs to accept it, and accept Two-bit in the process, and embrace a life where she is ok with it being her future, particularly if she and Two-bit ever want to date in the open, and definitely if they ever want to get married. If Marcia wants Two-bit she needs to be prepared for the judgment she will face from her peers for marrying a man so far 'beneath' her, has to be prepared for potentially being disowned/cut off by her parents, needs to be okay with the realities of east side life becoming her reality. In a slightly different reality, Two-bit needs to be prepared for marrying Marcia meaning he needs to clean up his act, needs to realise it will entail being forever looked down on by her family and friends (if they stay in contact), be prepared for Marcia's parents to pull some strings and get him a decent job, not a soc level one but one available to the upper middle class and definitely not poor kids. If Two wants Marcia he needs to recognise that it will mean no more petty thieving and no more booze and being viewed as a class traitor by the majority of his neighbourhood. In either version he has to be ready to deal with the people who will tell him he's ruining Marcia' life, that he dragged her away from her life and her potential, will perhaps have to grapple with those feelings even if they come from no one but himself.
But I still could see them working in canon, and working as themselves, but their relationship would always be affected by soc and greaser dynamics and if they work out, one of them will forever be viewed as a class traitor, and it will absolutely not be smooth sailing no matter how much they love each other.
Parry is a little bit different, but it's still a greaser/soc ship I could see fitting in canon, or in universe without egregiously changing the characters or class tensions, and a big part of why is because it's a clandestine relationship that is doomed from the start, and is doomed in every universe. It's a first love, a secret gay relationship between teenage hypermasculine football players in the 60s. Here, class tensions probably caused tension in the relaionship, but outside pressures would be less because Darry was well liked by even the rich kids and known to be going places, and also because the relationship itself never saw the light of day. The reason I ship Parry but only when they're doomed is because it very obviously could happen: Darry could kiss Paul in secret and still be a greaser loyal to this neighbourhood, and Paul could snog Darry and still be an upstanding upper class golden boy without looking like he's punching down, because no one knew they were dating in the first place. They could have truly loved each other when they were together and in canon it means nothing except the fact that their fight was a bit more personal than any other at the rumble, because neither of them ever intended for their relationship to be anything but a secret. They knew it would never be real in the sense they could have a life together, so it fits in canon because they characters were only ever going to be themselves, and as themselves their social classes make it so they are fundamentally incompatible, even if homophobia wasn't a barrier that it so obviously would have been. Darry and Paul work as a plausible couple because they never plausibly would have ever made a go of a serious relationship, and they both know it.
"Oh but Lovely," you say "by that logic any greaser/soc gay ship works in canon verse or canon adjacent verse. You should be able to see/ship any of them." To which I say no, not necessarily. First of all, not every queer person throughout history was okay with having a secret relationship- quiet ones sure, but gay people had 'roommates' in the sixties, and i think textually there is a lot of evidence to support that the majority of the Outsiders characters, were they queer, would not be particularly interested in being anyone's dirty little secret. And even if that weren't the case, and they'd be fine with a secret relationship, the fact remains that the greasers and the socs don't like each other. In fact, they canonically despise each other to the point where violence between the groups is commonplace. Darry was in a very unique position as captain of the football team and boy of the year, to form a connection with Paul that would be able to blossom into romance. He had a level of comfort and familiarity with the socs that the vast majority of the greasers don't have, and would never attempt to or even want to attain. The average greaser sees the socs as a danger and the reason they always get the short end of the stcik, and the average soc sees the greasers as ruffians and thugs, dirt under their shoes that belongs there. Yes, the book makes the point that all people are just people, but from what we see textually the chances of a greaser and a soc- particularly of the same gender- getting close enough to form a romantic attachment is slim to none unless both sides got really cool with a bunch of stuff really quickly after the rumble.
ANWAY if anyone is still here thank you for listening to my rambly unedited thoughts from 2am, these are my reasons for not shipping the majority of greaser/soc pairs, I hope they make sense
#the outsiders#darry curtis#paul holden#parry#darrel curtis#peril#two bit mathews#marcia the outsiders#marbit#the outsiders meta
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
robin's egg blue
Fandom: Batman, DC Comics
Summary: Tim's mom finds out who Batman is and stops Tim from becoming Robin in this AU.
Chapters: 2/?
Characters: Janet Drake, Jack Drake, Tim Drake, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Cassie Sandsmark, Helena Sandsmark, Diana Prince
Relationships: TBA
Additional Tags: Canon Divergent AU, Janet Drake Lives, Jack and Janet Drake Get Divorced, Civilian Tim Drake, Tim Drake is Not Adopted, Tim Drake is Not an Only Child, Janet Drake-centric, Tim Drake Does Not Become Robin
Chapter Two: the end
They sat at the dinner table for their first family dinner in what felt like years. Janet poured apple juice into Tim’s cup before kissing his temple. Jack cut his steak into little bite-sized pieces while Tim made Janet’s plate. “Oh, Tim, you don’t have—.”
“I want to,” Tim interrupted as he served her. Janet smiled and sat between Jack and Tim. Jack dug in while Tim made his plate and Janet poured a glass of wine for herself.
He held up his empty glass, and she poured wine into it before announcing, “Your father and I wanted to discuss something with you.”
Tim dropped his fork and took a sip of his juice. Jack was so engrossed in his meal that he didn’t hear his cue to speak. Janet’s jaw tightened as she nudged him. “Oh, um… This steak was cooked to perfection. Isn’t that right, Tim?” Jack asked.
“Jack… Our discussion,” Janet emphasized through her teeth.
“Oh! Tim, your mom and I were thinking about spending more time with you… And we wanted to know if you’d consider traveling with us,” Jack explained. Janet paused, waiting for Jack to keep speaking.
“Or… We could stay home more,” Janet added.
“We didn’t discuss that, Janet,” Jack whispered. Janet’s jaw jutted to the left as she realized Jack had no intention to stop traveling for work. Tim opened his mouth to speak, but a rapidly escalating argument cut him off. Tim tried to look down at his plate as he stuffed his face to ignore his pounding heartbeat. He hated it when his parents fought, but they usually tried to argue in the privacy of their bedroom. And they never argued about him before.
The argument burned out of control like a forest fire until Janet said the one thing she couldn’t take back. “This is why I want a divorce!” Janet shouted. Tim couldn’t stomach it anymore. He pushed away from the table and rushed to the guest bathroom to throw up. Jack stood up and wavered as the wine took effect, and Janet rushed past Jack to check on Tim.
“Tim? Can I come in?” Janet asked. Tim didn’t answer. “Make noise if you want me to stay outside.” Silence.
She opened the door just wide enough to slide inside, and she sat on the floor beside him. He couldn’t stop shaking as he hunched over the toilet. Janet hesitated before rubbing his back, expecting him to flinch away or snap at her. Instead, he burst into tears. “Oh, Timmy… Sweetheart, I shouldn’t have said that. I meant it, but I shouldn’t have said it like that,” Janet whispered. Tim cried into the toilet bowl until Janet pulled him into her arms. “I know… I know, but it’s been a long time coming. It wasn’t your fault. You’re a good boy.” Janet held him close as she kissed his temple.
“But you said it because—.”
“I said it because it should’ve been said months ago… Maybe even years,” Janet interrupted, “I love you so so much. Your dad loves you too. He has his own way of showing it… But don’t ever doubt that we love you.”
**
Janet stepped out of the shower, and Jack leaned forward in his chair, holding his head in his hands. “Janet…”
“What do you want me to say, Jack? Do you want me to lie to you? Say I didn’t mean it? Do you wanna pretend it doesn’t repulse you to sleep in the same bed with me?” Janet asked.
Jack sat up and pointed his finger at her. “Don’t you act like you weren’t acting like a twenty-year-old kid on spring break when we were in Liguria. Let’s go to the club, Jack. We were just dancing, Jack—. ”
“Jack, that was two years ago. I was right in front of you the entire time. I was drunk and nothing happened. You were looking right at me the entire time,” Janet whispered, “Is your ego really that fragile? You can’t handle the idea that I had fun dancing with a friend of mine—.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t pretend like you want to fall in love with me again. You didn’t want to rekindle this marriage, you were afraid—.”
“Stop,” Janet’s voice broke as she whispered it. Tears welled up in her eyes.
“You’re afraid of who you are without me,” Jack replied.
Janet sucked in a breath and shook her head. “And you aren’t? Aren’t you scared? We’ve been in this for seventeen years! We have a son! Everything is going to change… Everything. If I thought for a second that this could work—. When were you gonna talk to Tim? I held him tonight. He cried in my arms over this. If I could fall madly in love with you again and you with me, if I could watch Tim grow up if I could make everything fit into place—. Do you even want to be a father, Jack? You haven’t once given any consideration to Tim’s feelings,” Janet replied as she walked past him. She grabbed her pillow.
“Where are you going?” Jack asked.
“Guest bedroom… After I tell Tim that we love him because I’m tired of fighting,” Janet muttered. Jack sighed, letting Janet leave the bedroom.
Janet ran into Tim in the hallway, and he rubbed his arm. “Mom,” Tim whispered. Janet smiled at him.
“It’s okay, sweetie. We’re not gonna argue anymore. I was just about to say goodnight,” Janet whispered as she held back tears. Tim forced a smile and nodded. “I’m done traveling, Tim… I mean it. We love you so much.”
“Mom… What’s gonna happen?” Tim questioned. Janet sighed and shook her head.
“I don’t know,” Janet replied, “I think we could finally leave Gotham once this year is over… And I didn’t forget what I promised you.” She tapped Tim’s nose.
“Are you going by yourself?” Tim questioned. Janet smoothed Tim’s hair down and leaned forward to look him in the eye.
“It’s gonna be fine. I promise I won’t yell at him,” Janet replied.
Tim grabbed her arm. “No, that’s not what I—. Maybe we should talk about a few things before you go,” Tim suggested. Janet yawned and nodded.
“Okay… Sure, let’s sit in the guest room and talk… Oh, and before I forget, we need to deep clean your room tomorrow after school. Tim, I love you sweetheart, but your room is just ridiculous. What’s going on in there?” Janet chuckled. Tim rubbed his neck.
“I’ve been a little busy lately,” Tim whispered. Janet laughed and let Tim into the guest bedroom before she climbed into bed and turned the TV on.
Tim sat beside her, watching the TV while Janet stared at him. “You were so alert as a baby… Always observing… And so quiet. No one could make you laugh except for your dad. He once told me that you made him feel special. I think we were all at our happiest back then,” Janet whispered, “I never wanted kids before I had you… And I don’t know… Something shifted when I was pregnant with you. All I could think about was what it would feel like to hold you in my arms. Your birth was probably the closest I’ve ever gotten to a spiritual experience. It was frightening and painful, and I wanted to die… And all of a sudden, you were there and in my arms, and I knew I’d never accomplish anything greater than you in my life.” Janet sighed.
“I’m sorry—.”
“Don’t be. I’m so proud of you… But you’re so selfless and driven that it frightens me a little bit. So, I want you to tell me more about this Batman business,” Janet whispered. Tim took a deep breath and nodded before telling her everything from the very beginning.
#fic#reb fic#batfam#Janet Drake#Jack Drake#Tim Drake#Bruce Wayne#Dick Grayson#Cassie Sandsmark#Helena Sandsmark#Diana Prince#Canon Divergent AU#Janet Drake Lives#Jack and Janet Drake Get Divorced#Civilian Tim Drake#Tim Drake is Not Adopted#Tim Drake is Not an Only Child#Janet Drake-centric#Tim Drake Does Not Become Robin
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
So, I Think (Hope) it's Been Established That the Werewolf Gene AU Has a Longer Timeline Than Canon
Dipper and Mabel can't just go back home as werewolf pups, and their parents are still in the angry throes of the divorce, so they practically live in Gravity Falls now
The Pups are either gonna have to be homeschooled or risk discrimination of almost every kind in high school.
Dipper, whimpering nervously as Ford takes him and Mabel to school: Great Uncle Ford? What if the other kids don't like us?
Mabel: Yeah! Why can't we just... not go to school? You and Papa Fidds could teach us stuff!
Ford: Sorry kids, but your fathers wanted to give you pups a chance to make friends.
Mabel: With who?! Everyone in this town either hates our family or is terrified of us! What's the point of going to school if every adult in there wants us dead?!
Dipper: Can't Papa Fidds apply to be a teacher? He can teach me and Mabel!
Mabel, wagging her tail: Yeah! And Papa Stan can teach us wrestling or boxing!
Ford: I don't think Stanley would enjoy teaching fighting of any kind with his history.
Dipper, growing agitated: But we don't want-
Ford, briefly losing his temper: KIDS! *Waits for Silence* Look, I'm sorry for yelling, but you can't just act that way at your age. Show some grit and confidence and I'm sure your peers will enjoy your presence!
-Not Even Half a School Day Later-
Ford and Fidds: *Standing Behind the Pups in the Principal's Office*
Principal, addressing Ford: I suppose you know why I've called you in.
Fidds: No, we don't, actually. Yer lovely secretary refused t' explain the situation over the phone once she realized who she was speakin' to.
Principal, visibly uncomfortable: W-well, um... there was a bit of an... altercation... between your, um...?
Fidds, on the verge of hissing: Children.
Principal, anxiously: Right! Children! There was an altercation between your children and a couple of the upperclassmen. Now, I know it isn't-
Fidds: What were they doing in a class with upperclassmen in the first place?!
Principal: I-it was lunch! They were at lunch and-
Mabel, clearly frustrated: Dipper lost control and used his wolf form on an older kid.
Fidds: *Gasps* MASON!
Dipper: I WAS DEFENDING MABEL!
Mabel: I HAD EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL!
Dipper: Oh, well forgive me for wanting to make sure you don't get punched!
Dipper and Mabel: *Snarl at Each Other*
Fidds, to Ford: You and I are havin' a serious conversation when we get home.
Ford, quietly: Yep. Got it.
#Gravity Falls#Monster AU#Werewolf Gene AU#Well Looks Like We Know Who's Getting Yelled at Tonight#Plot Twist Stan and Fidds Were Against the Pups Going to School#Ford Just Wanted to Try and Give the Pups Some Self-Esteem and a Chance to Earn Friends
17 notes
·
View notes
Note
the houseswapped au is fascinating to me. how do you think chase hires his fellows in this au, and how do their interviews go?
@ppthsworstlapdog has gone into this a bit i think - but here's my take, because i agree, this au is incredible, the universe that keeps giving:
Chase probably had a couple fellows before House (much as House had a few before Chase in the 'real' world). He's less abrasive, but his apathy and less-than-involved teaching style made him shed fellows pretty quickly: Chase didn't really want a fellowship; Foreman probably foisted it on him, and Chase passive-aggressively ignored his applicants until they quit or found other jobs. House interviewed because, hello, diagnostics? Mystery cases? It-doesn't-matter-if-you're-nice-it-matters-if-you're-right? and Chase hired him because why not, he doesn't really care.
House's interview did not go well. He more or less interviewed Chase; is his reputation bullshit? Is he really that cool? What happened to his back? What's his deal? Anyone else would have been offended, and it's not like Chase loved it (or answered any of the questions), but… I think he understood the nosiness/curiosity as a form of caring and passion; House wants to know things, he's interested, he's engaged, and it's been a long fucking time since Chase did. He never really wanted to be a doctor, he never even really wanted to start a Diagnostics department, and House's blatant excitement was… nice. Genuine.
For a while it was just the two of them, but House was naturally a problem child from day one, starting the tradition of breaking an entering and really pushing Chase down the road of Malpractice Medicine (not that Chase was all that inclined to not break the law beforehand, of course. They just made one another Worse.) Foreman wanted House fired almost from day one, Chase by this point likes House and is passive-aggressive at the best of times…
He hires Wilson.
Chase was theoretically always hiring, although again in practice he never had a single interview or was all that interested. (Sometimes, okay, if there was a female applicant and she wasn't too young… but he wasn't interested in hiring, just using it as the world's laziest dating service.) House had thrown Wilson's application into the pile and Chase had figured out it was House's doing (House only has one friend, and why would an oncology resident even apply for this?), but he still couldn't be bothered to hire him……… until he did.
Wilson's interview went okay. Wilson was trying to impress and it worked, but Chase had already decided to hire him and didn't really care about him or what he said. But… actually, he gets along with Wilson in this universe. Wilson's great at the manipulation and smarm school of malpractice, and just off his first divorce, and Chase is kind of like………oh, same hat. Oh, a romantic disaster who likes to pretend to be nice to people. I can deal with this. In a way, he probably gets along with Wilson better than House, which is in its own way a weird fucking love triangle situation: House and Wilson have only been friends a couple years, are not fully intertwined and obsessed, Chase is House's mentor, thanks, lay off Wilson, it gets kind of weird.
House actually looks up to Chase in his own weird stalkery House way (going through Chase's trash, etc.), and Wilson isn't actually here to undermine his boss; Chase is also really good at his fucking job and gets to use all his perceptive asskissing powers to keep the kids in line. That said, there are definitely moments where the two of them sort of… overpower Chase with force of personality, not least because Chase is not super interested in being a boss, being any kind of leader; he's here to do his job and try and teach and what the kids do in their time isn't his problem as long as they don't undermine him. Which means that often House kind of acts like he's in charge and gets away with it because he's the strongest personality in the room.
This probably led to a The Mistake or even a Nobody's Fault type scenario, where House goes too far, does his House thing and gets someone killed. Chase goes to bat for him, but the whole thing is a mess and gets written off as failure to supervise; Chase gets a brief suspension… and more than that, it drives him to realize that maybe the dynamic is a bit fucked.
So he hires Cuddy.
Again, he was "always" "hiring," just not actually doing interviews or reading resumes. Chase is assertive and sticks up for himself, but he also doesn't care or really want to overrule his team when it's not medically necessary; he sees Cuddy and her medical administration degree and goes you know what could be interesting. She's a completely strategic hire, he hires her to balance out the teams and provide a counterweight to House so he doesn't have to be one. (Chase is a good strategist and a lousy leader.) He doesn't know that she and House are already acquainted at the time, but when he finds out he thinks it's absolutely a plus. Cuddy sort of struggles with the medical/diagnostic elements of the job, but she's really good at dealing with people — difficult patients and House — so she slots into the group really nicely. She's furious when she finds out Chase didn't hire her for her medical skills, though. ("What medical skills?", House asks.)
Once House leaves the team, hiring gets much easier, because he doesn't have to hire based on group dynamics anymore lmao. And, you know… he likes his team. He likes his weird dysfunctional kids. He even gets better at mentoring/teaching after a few years. Kutner and Thirteen are just normal hires who Chase picks because he likes them and thinks they're smart. Amber kind of doesn't work out — he picked her for her House-ish qualities and then realized he doesn't love those qualities when they're not on his favorite student — but by the time he hires Park, Chase is basically just going out of his way to hire misfits who are struggling in other jobs and grooming them into deeply capable doctors, so he does eventually learn.
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
I hate it when people treat Beta as a child when the game makes it clear that is because of all her trauma she developed while growing up and being stuck in a spaceship for almost 2 decades with a bunch of murderous immortal billionaires that treated her like an object.
#“oh but she acts just like a kid” WHY DO YOU THINK. WHY.#idk i hate it whe i see people trying to “investigate” her age because of the way she acts despite looking like adult Aloy#also a lot of her “childish behaviors” are just her panicking about imagining her death or them catching her again#its just- calling an abuse/grooming victim “childish” really doesn't sit right with me#i think people do this because they are mostly used to seeing trauma being depicted in media as something that makes the victim more mature#in a lot of stories trauma is a plot device that furthers character development#but irl honestly i feel like it mostly holds you back from growing#specially if the trauma makes you be afraid of everything like it did to Beta#hfw
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Gear 5 luffy's laugh is so contagious I just hear the drums and go insane how does this work. What did he do to me
#i still cant believe how much this new opening theme goes off.... DREAM SAVE ALL OF US 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH 💥💥💥💥💥💥#wait a second. the robot attacked 200 years ago. the void century was 800 years ago no????? what#oh see it was made 900 years ago.... but why did it attack 200 years ago then.... what happened#it is still so funny how they made evegapunk einstein but with some cunty long legs#200 years ago they gave rights to the gyojin!!! i see i see ✍️✍️also i still wonder why law and kuma have similar hat and pants designs#like there is NO WAY that much similarity isnt done on purpose. NO FUCKING WAY!!! I NEED ANSWERS!!!#are they annihliating cp ships akdhakskd yeah vegapunk letsgo#also the opening song is about dreams and the end one is about luffy reaching shanks...... havent got a clue why but there it is#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1098#also is lucci named lucci bc it kinda sounds like luffy. SERAPHIM KUMA HAS HIS DEVIL FRUIT???? vegapunk could only make zoan fruits????#also wdym when cp0 acts it means its some historic event. lucci is like 25. where are the experienced people here#sentomaru works for vegapunk??? maybe i forgor about this tbh also do theu have a doffy seraphim??? the fact they have animal names....#stussy letting kaku get hurt akdhsjsn oh atlas has lamb ears..... and lucci said she is is prey... no..... the foresahdowing :(#lucci you fucked up she just gave luffy food... that a death sentence look what happened to kaido#episode 1099#<- oh my god btw. god. jesus.#why is akainu telling the cp0 what to do or thinks he can do that... thats the world gov... also thinkng about how garp should fight him#and not luffy.... because of ace you know... i still wonder how did sengoku know who ace's father was... there is only one man who knew....#everyone trying to stop them from fighting ajdhsksjks two rabid dogs fr#LUFFY TAKING OFF HIS JACKET WHEN LUCCI ASKS FOR HIS WANTED SIGN!!!! GO OFF KING!!!! SLAY!!! THE CREW SAW HIM!!! FINALLY!!!#i have been smiling since he started the transformation this is so sick...... i have got a case of the luffy brain#zoan fruits steal the personality of the user when they awaken ✍️✍️ luffy???? nami being the only one who saw gear 5 <3 twins manifesto#robin being so shook about luffy being a god ajdbjansk wdym devil fruits exist because people wish for them. fairy magic real????#WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ARE FROM ALTERNATE REALITIES WHERE SOMEONE DREAMT ABOUT THEM??? DOES HE TRAVEL THRU REALITIES FOR THEM???#jinbe has been making this face 😧 every episode three times it is amazing ajdhaksnsk poor man... now he sees a kid angel version of himself#after seeing hia captain turn into a god... he is gonna get a stroke OMG SENTOMARU WE JUST GOT YOU BACK#episode 1100#<- CRAZY. INSANE. OH GOD. ONLY 12 LEFT. THATS A WEEKEND!!! I CANT DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡
So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.
At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.
Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.
I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.
So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.
If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.
#spotatalk#i'm just gonna drop this in the queue I guess?#but I'm writing this on the last day of june so....#whenever this rolls around will be a jumpscare abd a half I guess?#I think honestly I coukd do a full breakdown of the Crew and why they're all expressions of me but like#quick summary is#Reset: Wants approval from people but mostly clings to the past. is afraid of losing his brother and acts on it to bring him back. i#<- I lack that conviction to do whatever you have to to get your way. i worry my brother and I have a weird gap between us we wont repair#Orchid: Uhhh woman. lots of pressure that she had at one time that's now no being pressed but she still tries to live up to it also.#<- I don't like the pressure of being a woman. also gifted-kid who cannot move past the pressures imposed to be 'perfect' and it's screwed#Stereo: Pulled into a situation he doesn't want to be in initially. it's bad for him but he likes the people so he decides to stay#<- I see the good in people. even when they hurt others around me. I was a bystander often and should've left the situations. paralelling.#Monochrome: Afraid. No purpose or preperation in life. soneone offers to guide him and he takes that offer because it's better than home.#<- Kinda self-explanitory but I've got little direction and feel lost a lot of the time. If I'm given a path I usually walk it no hesitation#and... for fun let's do some others!#Haphazard: Cleaning up after others since childhood. he's never really gotten a break and sees any sort of mess as an enemy#-> He's fixing rifts in universes I gotta patch relationships. there's so much conflict and I'm always so overwhelmed by it#Lost: He's got amnesia. no clue where he is. where he's from. who you are. who he is. he'll know when he gets there. he's sure.#-> I've been hsving minor issues with my memory for years. i coukd be forgetful but sometimes it just escapes me and that's spooky#Teddy: Isolated in her universe for years. she self-mutilated until she liked herself. when she finally met people she compulsively lied#-> Much more extreme version of how isolated I sonetines feel. hobbies can't replace human interaction but it's hard#oh and Ichor: God who loves mortals but cannot seem to find ones who will prove hin right for his trust and care#<- I've got a big heart. i express it often but the sentinent is scoffed off a lot. I get beat down about it and just keep moving forward#Pretender: Knows who he is. however the world doesn't like it much so he acts how they expect him to or isolates away#<- I still present femme when I'm nb/agender. i bend and break to people's perception of me. if I can't solve something I run.#okay I feel more insane than when ai started but these stupid skeletons have helped me through so many mental health problems it's only a#little bit funny 🙏
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’ll never understand younger siblings whining about their older siblings moving away like I bet yall were nasty and annoying too like wow all those years and you claim to adore the older sibling and post oh woe is me the older sibling abandoned me … girl … the older sibling didn’t have a parental certificate or anything.
#since when were we friends nor did I have any obligation over you or towards you#we are literally roommates here acting like we’re friends#dora daily#I say this cause I saw yet another younger sibling on tiktok trying to make themselves a victim like the older one is clearly avoiding the#whole family and changing their phone number so u guys don’t contact for a reason like wth did you guys do that’s so bad they would go#through all that trouble#‘older siblings will never understand how doing that affects us physically and mentally’ oh quit whining and cope#I didn’t have an older sibling I relied on only myself heck not even strangers help me when I’m in dire need#I think yall need to cope harder and wake up to the real world#not all younger siblings but a lot of them like my little brother 13yo is good id never want to abandon him but the rest … yeah bye#idgaf you should’ve not been an idiot because believe me ik kids mess up but not like this#and now she’s grovelling at my feet bye grovel harder#like just an hour ago or so she came up to me and was like I’m going to school for the first day are you gonna miss me#I said no because she always tells me no when I ask her if she missed me#and somehow she had the audacity to be upset like okay#the same girl who tells me to move out btw#my mum said oh u have to be her best friend cause if she has nobody here then she will have to rely on strangers#and she would find herself in trouble cause they don’t have good intent oh gee I wonder which person caused me to do that#it’s honestly ironic#like Eris and virtue happened because she couldn’t step up and be a normal mother byeeee#and anyways whyre you acting like having a sibling is essential#it honestly isn’t like why would I be nice to a girl who dogs on me and beats me up and is disrespectful#she’s not that young anymore she’s almost 12#‘oh they have different personalities’ well i hate hers and im not to be forced to like it either its my right
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
suddenly seeing parallels between kumar and medicine pocket
#wonderful day to be a kaalaa baunaa x medicine pocket shipper#you know the difference between kumar and mp#kumar did the things she did out of vengeance — a cause — a purpose#and a desire to destroy others or oneself#mp does the insane shit they do because its FUN#because they have the capabilities to bear it#essentially because they can#considering their dialogue and hobby; they definitely hold life at a high value#perhaps careless#but honest#both defo insane and self-concerned#just in different flavors#hence why i think shipping kb x mp is either an angst abyss or healing journey#mp is smart and emotionally mature despite their mad kid behavior#but yes definitely a victim of impulse and chaotic practices#meanwhile kaalaa baunaa is a woman of method and routine#in research or in life#these two are kind of opposites...#mp shows a petty and nasty front but behind it lies a surprisingly mature and insightful self#kb maintains monumental composure and mysterious but friendly front#although inside i am sure many many things eat away at her#especially kumar#oh ESPECIALLY kumar#she probably acts all cool and level-headed saying things like “life goes on”#she starts to fail to follow her own philosophies and drown herself in work#because staying still will only make the memories of kumar manifest louder#she relies on her routines for comfort; whats always there and always will be#but shes tiring herself out because she cannot entirely confront the idea that kumar is gone#because kumar's presence IS a part of her routine — her methods — course — orbit#mp is like a replacement — better or worse? fuck around n find out
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
My mother cheating on my father with a guy 30 years younger than her and when we tell her it's disgusting and unacceptable she tries to justify herself like "Oh, this is so Christian moral and catechism puritanism from you" and "This is the patriarchy that's talking".
.... Are... Are you trying to justify your CHEATING on your husband since 1990 on feminism and freedom? ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT, YOU WILL. She thinks she's not in the wrong because, what, fuck her Christian education and she's a woman, she can do anything she wants ? Is she FUCKING KIDDING ME???
YOU CHEATED, YOU ARE CHEATING, YOU'VE BEEN CHEATING FOR MONTHS, YOU FUCKING JERK.
You hurt your husband, you threw him out of the house, you hurt your children, you think you can come back to my father's village? Your youngest daughter is TWELVE, and you're hurting her so much she's bottling everything in so well she could win an Oscar already, AND YOU THINK EVERYTHING IS OKAY AND YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG OR MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE ?
What sort of fucked up imaginary world are you living in that cheating is acceptable. For heaven's sake. She had the galls to tell me "adultery is banal, it's ordinary, everybody is doing it, it's not serious; don't be so dramatic". *screams* Hi, hey, if everybody is jumping off the bridge, are you going to jump too? Have you not PAID ATTENTION? Wars, murders, catastrophes have been done because of CHEATING, it is not a MODEL, it's a warning!!! Wtf, wtf, WTF.
I'm tired, I'm so tired. I have a thesis to write and I can't bring myself to work because my mother is throwing away all her life, acting in a shameful and unacceptable way, and disrespecting her family. My grandfather and my uncle and aunts aren't aware yet, but when they learn, oh boy, they might jump in a plane for Morocco to go yell at her.
Anyway. I'm having a real bad time these days and my only solace, my only salvation, are my sisters and my brother.
#rapha talks#so this rant is on one hand to let you know why i'm not very active right now and on the other hand just to rant bc i needed to get it out#on telling her that there is a real imbalance a giant red flag in her rship with the guy she tries to tell me i'm being patriarchal#Is she fucking kidding me#did she get a lobotomy in secret and that's why she's dropped her brain off and is acting in that unrecognizable way????#because we (siblings+father) are truly starting to believe that she's actually sick for acting like that#she tried to explain that she's free and she can do whatever she wants because it's her life and she can't resist her desires#????????????#I AM CONFUSION#i know you guys don't have all the details in hand but please please tell me we're not blowing things out of proportion#because i'm seriously starting to doubt my sanity my morals and my grasp on reality#i'm having a bad depressive episode right now and the one person who was 50% of my support system is gone#(as an added layer of unhealthiness: the guy in question is 23 + a blackafrican immigrant in morocco undocumented - she's white and settled#yeah there ABSOLUTELY NO aspect of this whole thing that's either sane or moral or acceptable#and i am going crazy and my father is in very bad shape he's not sleeping or eating anymore#and she refuses to question herself or think over her actions#oh and the other thing is that they both (parents) want me to come home to get a job back where i worked last year#her because she wants the money i could bring (my salary last year wasn't mine it all went to the family)#him so i can take a flat and take my youngest sister with me because i'm the second mother and she can't stay with Her and her lover#and i am so tired#so very tired
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#the heat index is 101F and our ac has been broken for the past three weeks at work#I worked an 8 hour shift I’m exhuasted + I’m sure I have heat exhaustion (again 🙃)#and like my cheap asshole father comes to pick me up with no ac on in the car 🫠#he argues all the goddamn time that the ac uses up so much gas and that wastes money and okay whatever that’s stupid#like do you want me to just fucking pass out in the passenger seat?#and he’s mad at me cause I may have snapped#but like again 101F outside no ac at work and I’ve had heat exhaustion every day for the past three fucking weeks#it’s literally a two minute drive home#but yeah I’m not worth two mins of ac#he has been extra nasty and having extra attitude and I’m fucking done#when I’m home I literally don’t leave my room anymore#dad’s also treating mom like shit which is like#I have issues with her too but idk what his fucking problem is anymore#and then she makes her problems everyone’s problems#so they’re acting like I need to fix how they treat each other#they should’ve got fucking divorced years ago#I keep telling them to go to fucking marriage counseling or something but nope#the thing is despite being shitty they are both still my parents and it is hard to hear them talk about each other that way#hence why I’m like begging them to either divorce or get counseling#but nah then they just turn it back on me and I’m terrible cause I don’t want to help them work through their problems 🫠#sometimes I think they literally had a kid so they could just blame everything wrong with them/their lives on me#I leave for vacation in like a week-ish and oh boy I cannot tell you how relieved I am to be getting away from them for a bit#I’m sure it’ll be a shit show when I get back but that’s a problem for later me#I just need a fucking break from the shit I put up with at work and the shit I put up with at home
0 notes
Text
reading people reviews of home movie and either im a genius and im the only one in the world who understands this movie or im an idiot and everyone else understood the movie and i didnt
#speakerphone!#PLEASE let it be the first one PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE#and yeah there's the dragon story and you could say theyre pretending to be 'normal' kids but... 🙄#no... i think the dad is pretending to be a 'normal' dad by being funny and sweet but hes abusing them.#the subtext is there i swear it.#also the children pretending to behave like 'normal' children theory makes it seem like violence comes from a vacuum.#when in reality children are reflections of their world. if a child is acting out there is a reason. it doesnt just come from nowhere.#revoltimg against the fathers prayer during thanksgiving is huge. its them going against their father. the church. and the idea of their#family. it's also them saying theyre not grateful for the family because something is hurting them#and its staged. they throw the dinner at the same time. this is something they thought out and talked about#they repeat the father saying 'im sorry' on video a few times because its something they want to hear him say. why is that?#because he is abusing them.#the harder things to pin down are why they attack christian but even then. you could easily say theyre lashing out.#them having a secret lamguage and not wanting their parents in their playhouse is meant to be scary of course but why do they do this?#because they feel the need to be away from the parents because they cant trust them for some reason#and we see the mother would rather defend the father than believe her children are being abused. because even though she thinks its a#possibility she never takes the kids away. AND! the way she starts medicating them instead of taking any real action is disGUSTING#its the idea that you can make someone 'normal' by putting them on meds. that way their tolerable to those around them#OH! AND! when the father asks 'is there evil in the house' and the daughter looks straight at him after lookong away and nods!!!!#HE is the evil!#okay. talkimg it out through the tags has made me feel better i think im right. though ill be sad if i look up interviews from the writers#to see im not. oh whale.
1 note
·
View note
Text
Smth I think about sometimes is how like, I do so much stuff to overcompensate my struggles with various things, but generally I don’t acknowledge that I’m doing outside things to overcompensate or if I do I don’t get into specifics.
And then because of that like even if I tell people I’m struggling with x thing they just won’t believe me sometimes coz they didn’t see/listen to me doing work on my own time.
Even if I’m already underperforming they won’t understand how much effort it was taking JUST TO UNDERPERFORM.
But then if I make any progress or aren’t the literal worst it’s all swept under the rug as if it’s easy for me and I just wasn’t working hard enough the whole time or something?
#thoughts#oni talks#oni vents#It weirds me out how much people will just refuse to take your word for things when it comes to having a hard time sometimes?#especially if they are someone you haven’t seen in a while like why do y’all automatically assume I’m not being serious?#I think the main times it’s frustrating is if it’s something I’ve been struggling with for a while and I have been trying to get help for it#but bc that help hasn’t been received I have been trying to deal with *insert thing* on my own (and failing) hence the asking for help#but ppl will just?? act like I never asked for help even when I do? or act as if I seemed like I didn’t need help even when I complain?#forever thinking about this one comment from a certain family member where she said “you didn’t seem like you needed/were asking for help#meanwhile me growing up struggling constantly & while I tried not to ask for help usually as a kid for obvious reasons#there were 10000% times where I would ask for help & be given absolutely nothing or I’d try to do something to help myself & be shamed#but I still never understood the concept of “you didn’t seem like you needed help” coz like?? I was obviously struggling?? even when I didnt#ask for help I was never doing particularly well? like I was actively failing out of things repeatedly but somehow I seemed fine???#I also hate how much of my effort is internal or unobservable so even I’m trying really hard it’ll look like I’m not doing anything#but idk it just frustrates me sometimes coz I’ll be struggling or complaining & ppl will be like oh it’s easy you’re fine like??#but then if I don’t ask for help and fail I get in trouble but if I do ask for help I also get in trouble it’s so irritating#granted stuff is generally a lot better now (though I still need to do more)#but idk there’s just a couple areas of knowledge where I get genuinely irritated if I’m not listened to#often it’s like that meme of I know more than you like the Ron Swanson one#but other times it’s like… did you even listen at all??#even when I’m trying to relax it’s often calculated (which tends to make it harder lol)#in terms of overcompensating it’s like sometimes it’s rough bc I know if I DO manage a decent job it’ll be even higher expectations#idk sometimes it’s frustrating when people just assume I’m not trying when I am? i definitely could try harder but also willpower is limited#& I don’t wanna burn myself out coz then I’m gonna get further behind#it’s a wonder how much ppl take for granted their perceptions of you when they aren’t even paying close attention to you#or like?? yall could just ask me?? it’s wild like i feel like i gotta pre emptively explain myself sometimes
0 notes