#“i don’t know what’s scarier. the fact that everyone in this kingdom wants to run a sword through my heart

[autistic-katara]

just watched Nimona with my dad and over the course of the film felt myself going

eh its not too bad but it’s seriously overhyped -> heh she just like me fr -> oh god she just like me fr -> oh god she just like me fr

[aetherkidatheart]

Well...Nimona broke me.

[savagegood]

“Did you see the way that little girl looked at me? Kids. Little kids. They grow up believing that they can be a hero if they drive a sword into the heart of anything different. And I’m the monster? I don’t know what’s scarier. The fact that everyone in this kingdom wants to run a sword through my heart or that sometimes I just wanna let ‘em.” “We have to get you out of here. Over the wall. We won’t stop until we find some place safe, okay? We’ll go. Together. No matter what we do, we can’t change the way people see us.” “You changed the way you see me... Didn’t you?

NIMONA (2023), based on the comic by ND Stevenson, who came out as transgender in 2022

[boardboxes]

“They grow up believing that they can be a hero if they drive a sword into the heart of anything different. And I’m the monster? I don’t know what’s scarier. The fact that everyone in this kingdom wants to run a sword through my heart or that sometimes I just wanna let ‘em” BABYGIRL COME HERE. NEOW.

[watcher0033]

I LOVE NIMONA SO GD MUCH. WTF ANIMATION GOLDEN ERA. 😭😭😭🙏🏼

It was the perfect movie. It was so good. “I don’t know what’s scarier. The fact that everyone in this kingdom wants to run a sword through my heart or that sometimes I just wanna let ‘em” MADE ME FUCKING SOB ACTUAL TEARS THE HORRIFIC REALIZATION WHEN SHE WAS NEAR TO THE STATUE BECAUSE I THOUGHT I THOUGHT SHE WANTED TO DESTROY THE SYMBOL OF OPPRESSION AND BIGOTRY But of course. Of course, it was worse than that. It was a gigantic painful trek to an end to that would be less painful than what she’d been thru NIMONA U GAVE ME SECONDHAND TRAUMA IM FUCKING CRYING GDI. And it took. And all it took was one single person to see and accept her for who she is and suddenly she was phoenix rising ready to take on the world and rewrite the narrative. Just the one person to make her believe and be believed in return. WTF THIS MOVIE IM GOING TO WATCH IT AGAIN WHEN IM NOT GONNA BE HANGOVER FROM FUCKING EMOTIONS OHGOD

[lettiethepasta]

”i don’t know what’s scarier…

the fact that everyone in this kingdom wants to run a sword through my heart.

or that sometimes…

I just wanna let ‘em…”

[woadge]

Spoilers for Nimona

In case you forgot the heartache here’s a reminder. Nimona: “I don’t know what’s scarier. The fact that everyone in this kingdom wants to run a sword through my heart, or that sometimes, I just wanna let em” Ballister: “We have to get you out of here. We’ll go over the wall, we won’t stop until we find someplace safe. Okay? We’ll go. Together.” This interaction is an allegory for trans youth in the US. Nimona’s line is a direct reference to how transgender youth feel seeing the anti-trans rhetoric spread by the news, their classmates, their teachers, and even sometimes their parents. Ballister’s reaction is one of a concerned parent living in one of the states who’s legislative branch has passed anti-trans bills. Thousands of parents of trans children would rather upend everything they know and leave the state than allow their kid to suffer like Nimona does.

[ann1e-on-earth]

“I don’t know what’s scarier.

The fact that everyone in this kingdom wants to run a sword through my heart,

Or that sometimes…

I just wanna let ‘em.”

-Nimona

[themosthatedbeingg]

“i don’t know what's scarier: the fact that everyone in this kingdom wants to run a sword through my heart, or that sometimes, i just wanna let ’em.”

—Nimona

[daisymintt]

Merlin: I don’t know what’s scarier, the fact that everyone in this kingdom want to run a sword through my heart… or that sometimes… I just wanna let ‘em.

[sapphic-scylla]

Nimona illuminates the final part of my entire gender crisis and not only what led up to who I am but the truth of who I am and who I know myself to be.

I use she/her, they/them, and any and all pronouns.

I grew up knowing I was different like most trans people. I could never explain it because I never had the words. That inability to understand what any of my confused and festering feelings meant.

I grew up alone. I had family, but they were so invested in turning me into the ideal man that they refused to meet me at my level.

As I entered school, friends didn’t last very long. My longest friendship was 4 months until I entered college. I still don’t talk to anyone from high school because no one cared to invest their time into me. So I stayed lonely.

It had been long past the time I’d discovered it was a gender issue. At 12, I discovered that being a guy at all was distasteful to me. Acting masculine felt like I was pouring acid on my skin while being told to not act feminine was, fittingly, like stifling tears. You know they want to come out and they will eventually and you can’t stop it no matter how hard people tell you not to, but you bottle it anyways because people won’t like you if you cry.

That bottling.

That shoving down all of those trans emotions.

They don’t go away.

And when you also live in Utah, the state of the high and mighty. The self-righteous. And you hear EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. For 21 years. “Being gay is a sin.” “Being trans won’t get you to heaven.” Hearing the scoffs of disapproval at a guy acting feminine. Seeing the bullying. Witnessing the abuse and control your parents carve into you by saying things like “stop acting like that” or “walk it off” or “you do what we tell you because you live in our house.”

They wait. And they bubble.

It’s like a volcano. Pressure builds. For 10 years, it builds. And that volcano does release steam every once in a while. But it sits. And waits. Until it can’t anymore. And then…

People used to think volcanos were monstrous creatures that sat beneath the earth. It’s not true for real volcanos. It’s true for people.

It hit in high school. All of that pent up frustration. All of that anger and rage and sorrow. Just slowly releases for 5 years. And the wild thing is that it just. Kept. Going. I hit 22-23 and I was still ripping my own world to shreds. Friendships, family relationships, a marriage. All torn into tatters.

And it wasn’t just the undiagnosed ADHD. It was a person who kept forcing herself to fit into the boxes and the roles and the expectations of a girl who was trying to fit the mold of a lie. A false ideal. A belief that someone else had shackled her with.

And when she broke those shackles, she saw how people saw her.

As a monstrosity. An abomination. A creature. A demon. A nameless entity that people refused to care about or accept.

That monstrosity tried to kill herself 3 times over that span of 7-ish years, almost adding another tally to Utah’s record of being the state with the most suicides. Because like Nimona said…

"I don't know what's scarier. The fact that everyone in this kingdom wants to run a sword through my heart... or that sometimes, I just wanna let them."

I’m much better now. After my marriage fell apart, I got into therapy. I got my ADHD diagnosis and I’m working towards getting an anxiety diagnosis and maybe a few other things that are screaming inside the cage that is my brain.

I’m still not good at making friends. Between the neurodivergence and the transgender pride that I carry and wear out in the open, not a lot of people want to hitch their cart to a fluidflux creature like me.

I don’t bottle my feelings anymore. I also don’t take shit from the people that continue to view my existence as a threat or treat me like a villain, an abomination, and a curse. Because as we all know, people fear what they don’t understand. And even when what they don’t understand is me, a “monster”, they try to kill me or force me outside the walls or attempt to capture, restrain, and shove me into a box.

I considered letting them win several years ago. Never again.

However, that ideal that Nimona carried sits within my soul.

Maybe I am a monster. Maybe it’s why I hyperfixate on gods and monsters and myths and the darker side of the stories we’re told and the creatures that loom in the shadows.

Because I know how the world sees me. They see a monster.

And maybe that’s not so much of a bad thing. Maybe it’s better to be the thing they fear.

[lifewouldbebetteronmars]

“I don’t know what’s scarier. The fact that everyone in this kingdoms wants to run a sword through my heart…or that sometimes…I just want wanna let ‘em.”

Nimona (Netflix, 2023)

[hecateisalesbian]

“Did you see the way that little girl looked at me…? Kids. Little kids. They grew up believing that they can be a hero if they drive a sword into the heart of anything different. And I’m the monster? …I don’t know what’s scarier. The fact that everyone in this kingdom wants to run a sword through my heart. Or that sometimes…

I just wanna let them.”

-Nimona (2023)

[chaos--gremlin]

i don’t know what’s scarier

i dont know if anyone else has talked about this, i just wanted to ramble, might even delete later if i feel funky (tw: mentions of suicide / suicidal ideation. i will not censor words, for ease of those who mute them)

so nimona. as a transmasc person with a fluid identity, the movie nimona shot me in the fucking heart

the first time nimona says “i don’t know what’s scarier”, i felt seen. i have never felt more seen by a movie before. 

“i don’t know what's scarier: the fact that everyone in this kingdom wants to run a sword through my heart, or that sometimes, i just wanna let ’em.”

the first time nimona says this, it is an indication that she is passively suicidal. she won’t kill herself, but sometimes, she wants to die. she wants to be killed. that is what passive suicidal ideation is. 

https://www.psycom.net/depression/passive-suicidal-ideation

its something that many people experience, including me, but it generally isn't talked about in movies. thats why i felt so seen.

the next time nimona says  “i don’t know what’s scarier”, she is actively suicidal. she has reached her breaking point and is ready to fall on the sword of gloreth’s statue. that is the emotional climax of the movie, a damn good one that made me ugly cry.

“i don’t know what’s scarier” being used to show how she is passively suicidal, and then repeated word for word when she is about to actively commit suicide, was so fucking powerful to me

because its true, those thoughts are scary. to feel hunted for being different (trans) and wanting to die because of it. it hurts and its really fucking scary. it resonates with me deeply.

thats all folks, i promise im okay <3

[janis-imiike]

(I have come back as requested!) How did you enjoy the movie?

Okay, so... dude, i don't even know how to start this, but i'm going to try. People will always look for a reason to blame the "monster" for their own shadows, and this is devastating because Nimona did nothing but be different, but the world is not prepared for different people. We are always seen as threatening and that it will always cost us friends, love and any other shit, that's why we-i mean-she, ended up distancing herself and preferring to die than continue to feel that pain, it never goes away.

(( ooc: OMFG I HAVE TO SAY, SHE CRIED, I CRIED, WE BOTH CRIED!! That was so rejanis!! The way they lost everything because of Gloreth's fear of what people thought of Nimona, damn, that completely broke me. Janis really related herself with Nimona and the part where she says "I don’t know what’s scarier. The fact that everyone in this kingdom wants to run a sword through my heart… or that sometimes i just wanna let ’em." That's fucking deep! oh my god. 😭 (yapping forever) ))

[atlaskrr]

NIMONA SPOILERS

Ok ok this was one BANGER way to end pride month. The queer rep and overall queer allegory is such a win for us.

Anyways moving aside from that I love how all the characters actions were believable and make sense instead of them just acting to move the plot. As the audience we all realize that what happened to nimona was unfair but it makes sense why ballister and ambrosius would act like that (the brainwashing and manipulation was written so well). It also makes sense why every other character would act like that based on their ideologies including the director (still fucked up though). I'm pissed at gloreth to an extent too but I get it, she was just a kid and kids are easily influenced. Still the whole scroll thing is another story.

Also THE TWISTS I thoughts I'd figured out the twist when I felt off about the director but then a whole other series of twists with nimona and gloreth unfolded which made everything make way more sense.

The parallels in nimonas flashback scene to what happened between ballister and ambrosius and also to what happened between nimona and ballister. All the emotional moments also hit me like a truck full of the world's heaviest bricks. It's so well written and relatable.

Speaking of relatable, I relate to nimona so much. It's that feeling of being outcasted and that changing from just a kid to being just, angry. It's honestly a miracle nimona ended up that nice. Also the line, “I don’t know what’s scarier. The fact that everyone in this kingdom wants to run a sword through my heart or that sometimes I just wanna let ‘em.” Like HELP. It's like that feeling that you hate those thought bt you help but feel it. It's not like you want to kys but you wouldn't mid being killed. I relate to her way too much to be good for me. Like having this chaotic personality and going into anger in a breakdown because no you're not going to cry over the past. When you let your guard down for once you just end up feeling betrayed all over again and it hurts. I'm healing and opening up myself so I think nimonas finally getting that too.

Her dynamic with ballister was everything to me. I'm a sucker for found family and my senses were tingling. That patch up scene had me ready to burst. I love how they defend eachother and how ballister slowly starts becoming more chaotic (aka fun).

I have a many mixed feelings about the ending cause I genuinely cried when I thought nimona died and while I'm happy she's back it makes the whole thing feel a bit anticlimactic. I feel like her death was impactful and bringing her back is kind of an eh move. Not mad though.

The animation, style, voice acting and basically the whole production was just 👏👏👏👏👏

Overall this was a very good movie and i hope disney is kicking themselves over dropping it. Usually I have mixed views on netflix but today I love them very much for allowing this movie to see the light of day.