#“cognitive” means it's oriented at change of thinking so...

[eri-pl]

Silmarils, grief and hope.

We all know grief is a big theme and all that, and related to Tolkien's life. But. The Silmarils.

Long chaotic post about "wanting the Silmarils is related to having unprocessed grief" and "the Silmarils are hope, but Not Like That".

(I'm not sure how many there are for whom it makes a difference, but I assume it's a non-zero amount: sort of Morgoth-pov at the very end which may be emotionally intense. For convenience, it's separated with a picture. The rest is much more calm, I think. Just chaotic and may have autocorrect errors.)

Why do so many people (allegedly) want them more than it would make sense, even if they aren't cursed?

So many events on the story of those jewels are related to grief. Feanor makes them after his mother does and he cannot process his feelings properly (which is not his fault; where would he learn to process them? But it is a thing.)

Then he loses them when his father dies and really wants them back, swears the oath. Then he does and his sons swear the oath again, and of course they don't process their grief properly either.

Oh and I forgot, before that, the Valar. They lose the Trees and want them back. Interestingly, it's not Manwe (the king) who is most focused on getting the Silmarils for that, nor Varda (most associated with them), but Yavanna (sure, it was her trees, but also she's the most loss-avoiding Vala, she misses each tree that is being cut) and Tulkas (lowest emotional intelligence of all proper Valar). Again, the perceived need to get the Silmarils is where there's some unprocessed grief, and most intense in those Valar who would have the hardest time processing it.

(and Aule! He actively advocates for granite keeping it. But I'm sure the "my best Maia joined Morgoth, I'm constantly bullied, my wife doesn't like me, and I am never a jerk despite it all" guy is pretty good at processing his negative feelings.)

(Also, how the sun and moon are made? The fruit grow when Nienna cries, and it is Nienna, she is processing the grief in a proper, healthy way. And it... It solves the problem (lack of light) for which the Silmarils were "necessary". Sure, the moon and sun are lesser, not as beautiful... But there's a theme there. Namely, the third of them. 🙂 Things change. You can't fix anything important by going Ctrl+Z on it. You have to go forward, not backwards.)

The Silmarils are the feeling of hope (see: reactions to Gil-Estel, and it's very name) they are a promise that it all will be good. They are a good thing, but to an untrained eye the promise seems much more immediate, much more like something that can be done here and now.

If I only had them, all would be fine.

And they are not this, Nienna would know, I'm pretty sure Varda knew too when she blessed them (she may have not realized how others see it). They are just a reminder of something unsaid. Estel, not amdir. (It's a little funny to me how this means "looking up" but it's not for this post)

Anyway, the Silmarils. Thingol who realizes he'll lose his daughter (doesn't know how much he would lose her, but a sad marriage to a diet Man is enough, also a kid growing up can be a grief in itself. Or maybe it is because she will be mortal, maybe he suffers from what @dfwbwfbbwfbwf called "pre-traumatic stress disorder"). And a Silmaril is the only thing that could let him through the pain of losing his daughter.

And then he carries it, of course he does, if he let it go he would have to face his pain. He dies and Luthien wears the jewel, then after her death - Dior. A chain of deaths and losses and a beautiful gem.

It is too much for their half-mortal eyes, too much hope to be able to let go of it even if they had a reason.

And Maedhros starts demanding it after Unnumbered Tears (unnumbered, unprocessed, unhealed), which sure, has also a more political/reasonable explanation (he's out of other options), but also, it's a lot of grief.

And it goes into a chain of deaths.

Melian never cared about the Silmaril (she cared about it as a problem, but not about having it). Beren gave it up easily. Earendil have it to the Valar (they have it back later).

The dwarves... There are two things here. One is generational trauma of "the sindar hunted our ancestors for sport"+general racism. The other is that dwarves generally have more need of hope I think... Elves are reborn, Men are said to go somewhere beautiful and mysterious, and the Dwarves??? It's very uncertain.

And at the end it is Makalaure "singing apology songs which doesn't make me less of a murderer, just a hypocrite, but at least helps me process my traumas" Kanafinwe who throws the hope away because someone else would make a better use of it probably, and goes on to live through his darkness.

It's so hard to face your pain and start looking not only at hope for you, but at hope for the others. And sometimes what the world needs to have more hope, is you facing your pain.

I can't find a clear name for what the Silmarils are/mean in this... Something close to hope, but also something you must let go of to process your grief... It's inherently good, but can be overused... I'm sure there's something fitting, I just can't find it.

And the "Feanor will break the Silmarils" thing? For the trees? Seriously? No. He will break then because he will learn to live without them, to live with his pain. He breaks then because they aren't relevant anymore. (Who said that about fulfilled hope not being called hope anymore? My favorite "I can write more weird and more enigmatic stuff that you, but it makes waaay more actual sense than your posts anyway" guy?) He breaks them, but it's not necessary, it's just natural.

(but also tbh they do look a little like seeds so idk why not have new trees, they are kinda cool... well my perception of them looking like seeds is based mostly on "need to break" anyway... My thinking goes in atypical ways)

And there's Morgoth. Oh of course there's Morgoth. The dark Vala who couldn't (wouldn't) process his feelings even if they came with a manual. (He's an Ainu. They very likely initially came with a manual. But he thought he knew better)

He wants to steal hope and blacken it, and destroy it, right?

So... He feeds the Silmarils to Ungoliant? Tries to break them? Hides them far away?

No.

He wears them on his face, even if it hurts terribly. It hurts like dying. This is how clinging to your ego defences feels like. "the pain demands to be felt", to quote my favorite psychology YouTuber writing someone else. If you don't face it, it will still burn. If you run away from it, it will still be there. If you cling to the "I am not sad, everything is fine, it's great", it will burn your face.

But anything else would mean admitting there's a problem. Admitting that they burn would mean admitting that he was wrong. That his pain is there, and also it's not purely (not mostly tbh) others' fault, that he's not the victim in here.

What pain?

Well if you want my opinion, it's funny that it was Finwe who guarded the Silmarils. Finwë who favored his older, more temperamental, more brilliant son and made him the crown prince. Finwë who never told Feanor to sit down and cut his BS. Finwë who everyone says it's such a great father. So if everyone says that, it is rational to expect such behavior, right? It's valid to be angry about being treated in a different way? It must be. Anything else would mean that he was wrong.

It's better to burn.

[gigijenga]

simple (?) definitions of the functions

Edit: I made some changes (they are in italics)

Without a basic knowledge of the cognitive functions, it can be extremely hard to understand mbti. Here are the simplified definitions of the functions:

Ne (extroverted intuition): this function spreads intuition/ideas externally. The main thing Ne values is possibility. Ne wants to understand the dozens of ideas that stem from one event. It does not like to stick to one idea.

ex: when it sees a flower, it comes up with dozens of flower designs of its own. It thinks of all the possibility the flower can look like, thought Ne does not care if it is practical (or considered a “good” idea). 

Ni (introverted intuition): this function forges an intuitive idea internally. Ni takes information in and thinks of one idea, one insight, on possibility. Like Ne, Ni is focused on what might be possible, not on what is tangible. It wants to dive deeper into the “truth” to find a secret meaning/contradiction.

Ex: when it sees dozens of flowers, it comes up with its own design of a flower. Unlike Ne, Ni takes its time to analyze the depth of one specific idea. Ne does not care much about the accuracy and worth of its ideas (it values possibilities more), while Ni wants its idea to be valuable.

Se (extroverted sensing): this function is focused on the external physical world around it. Se is focused on the present and what is happening in the moment. Like Si, it is focused on the small tangible details. Se is a fairly direct and objective function. It does not like to meddle with hypotheticals and theories (this does not mean Se is unintellectual). This function is a kinesthetic learner and likes to meddle with its environment.

Ex: when it sees a flower, it simply, well, sees it. It's a concrete object that has no other poetic meaning to it. 

Si (introverted sensing): this function is focused on the real world in its head/internally. Si is oriented towards the past, towards repetition. It makes decisions based on how similar events in the past enrolled. Si values predictability (not necessarily tradition).

Ex: when it sees a flower, it remembers how the flower connects to past sensory details and it stores the details of the flower in its head for further use in the future.

Fi (introverted feeling): this function is focused on its own internal moral code/philosophy. It makes decisions based on how moral the situation is based on its own feelings and values. Fi is often seen as the function that wants to be authentic because it is concerned if the current situation/its decision aligns with its personal values.

Ex: when Fi gives gifts to other people, it contemplates on what gift it would like/value. Fi also analyzes how the gift would be valuable according to the person’s inner feelings and beliefs.

Fe (extroverted feeling): this function is focused on the external moral code. It is concerned if its actions align with external beliefs and ethnics. Fe makes decisions based on what the majority values. It is aware of how its actions will impact/meddle with the emotional state of other people*. Unlike Fi, Fe believes ethics are not decided by itself. Fe is objective, like Te. 

*Though other functions might have this ability, Fe knows how other people feel on a “deeper level” and it is confident in its ability to do so (just like how Fi is confident in its ability to analyze its own beliefs). For example, Te might be able to analyze emotions on a surface level, but it has trouble understanding the emotions of others on an in-depth level. Plus, Te is not concerned with the emotional environment.*

Ex: when Fe gives gifts to other people, it gives gifts based on what the majority believes is the best gift.

Ti (introverted thinking): this function is focused on the logical world internally. It forges its own logical claims, reasoning and conclusions. Ti is mainly concerned with the internal consistency and analysis of one thing, rather than external evidence that supports it. Inductive reasoning. “The ball will fall because I’ve seen the same ball fall down multiple times, therefore it will fall down this time.” Ti cannot understand how one thing can contradict its own “rule”.

Ex: when Ti gives gifts, it forms an analysis on what gift would be the most beneficial based on the patterns and observations it witnesses.

Te (extroverted thinking): this function is focused on the external world of logic. It is focused on data, evidence and facts from the outside world. It is focused on if something is practical/aligns with external rules and principles. It analyzes things based on how it relates to similar external logical principles. “This ball will fall because I’ve seen other rubber balls like this fall, so it is logical to assume that this one will fall.” Deductive reasoning. Te cannot understand how one thing can contradict the “universal rule”.

Ex: when Te gives gifts, it analyzes what is the most beneficial gift by evaluating the already the existing/assumed benefits each gift option has and picks the gift with the best benefits.

[grison-in-space]

Hi! I've just stumbled onto the dogblr side of Tumblr and it seems fascinating. Could you recommend any fundamental reading/watching material for people who want to start learning about dog training/behaviour/cognition? It would also be cool to hear about how you, personally, got into it if you're okay sharing- it seems like a niche field and I'm curious about what the journey might look like for different people. Thanks! ^.^

Oh, sure! Bear in mind that my particular path is, um, actually much weirder than most folks': the dog training with clients is a very new (and very part time) development in my professional life. In my full time job, I'm a postdoctoral associate in neuroscience working on motivation and decision-making in the context of animal behavior. And even for that, my career path has been bizarre: I started out in population genetics, did the PhD in behavioral ecology with a side of metabolic neuroendocrinology, and have now wound up in a NIH-oriented lab focusing on topics related to sex differences, neurodivergence and addiction.

It just occured to me that the dog training thing puts me squarely on the grounds of applied animal behavior research, which means that I've done it! I've poked into all the disciplines that can be described as Animal Behaviour and collected all the achievements! I really gotta reinvest in the Animal Behavior meeting, huh. Oh, wait, no: I'm forgetting behavior genetics, which is an area of strong interest I've poked around the edges of but never myself published in.

See, animal behavior as a formal study contains at least four different disciplines of study that really only loosely interact with one another. Behavioral ecology often appears in concert within ecology and evolution, and it focuses on the study of animals within their own natural context according to their own concerns and experiences. Neuroscience is typically thinking in terms of understanding the mechanism of the human brain, and behaviorism is similarly trained on the universal mechanisms of learning and behavior. Applied animal behavior involves studying how to most effectively, safely, and ethically manage animals in human care, including both domestic animals and captive wild ones; it also covers finding out how to teach animals to do complex but useful behaviors, like training working animals. Neuroendocrinology involves studying how hormones effect changes in the brain and body: metabolic hormones, stress hormones, sex hormones, the works. Behavior genetics (and epigenetics) include studying the effects of genetic variation on behavior itself.

It's certainly not uncommon for people to jump fields once or twice, or to straddle an intersection of approaches over their careers. It's.... less usual to bounce around one's career to quite this extent, which I attribute to the fact that a) I have quite a bit of fairly obvious ADHD, b) I've never worked for anyone who hasn't had their own case bedeviling our focus, and c) I graduated directly into COVID, which meant that I had to figure out a solution on the fly when all the positions I had intended to cultivate dried up overnight.

Not that I'm bitter.

As for how I got into the dog training gig, essentially I like dog training, I really like this outfit, and I have some credit card debt I would really like to pay down. I wanted to meet and talk to more dog folks in the area and I also really missed teaching—I taught every spring and fall through my 8yr PhD, I'm good at it, and I really enjoy it. Since I've respected (almost) every instructor I've had through this outfit, and the one exception involved being listened to immediately about my concerns and increased supervision in response, and I knew that one of my instructors worked part time with them, I figured it might be a neat side gig. So far, that's been bourne out.

I also do have some longer term plans to do some behavioral genetics and neuroscience work on dogs, and I would like to incorporate some noninvasive experiments that use dogs from the general public. My facility also has a robust doggy daycare program and it'd be rad to work with them to build opportunities for everyone in a few years. I'm hoping to leverage a permanent tenure track job at my institution over it, but I might go in several directions from here. Predicting the direction of my career has been a losing proposition so far, so let's see what seems good at the time and stick around as long as I'm having fun.

As for how I got into dogs and dog behavior specifically? In addition to the ADHD, I'm autistic enough to have been diagnosed as a tween girl in the 00s, and my special interests never quite leave —they just flare up and simmer down in long periods over my life. Dogs are the first and earliest of these; my parents told me that they'd seen me gravitating towards the family Lhasa from pretty much the moment I could roll over on my belly. That seems about right. Dogs have been my gateway to huge corridors of my intellectual world, and dog training specifically have been a hobby for some time. In addition to my training gig, I'm experimenting with functional service tasks to support me as burnout and neurodivergence have limited my capacity.

Books and reading recs I'll try to get to later, mm falling asleep right now.

[gotta-pet-em-all]

Okay nerds. This is… going to be loose as all hell. So. Sorry. I also don’t have sources for most of this stuff. Or the proper format. The wifi here is bad at academic journals and I don’t feel like squinting at a bunch of crusty pdf documents. This is generally going to be about broad cultural trends and disability theory. 

So history is big and weird and cultural. And what I’m going to be talking about actually goes back to the great Kalosian war. We don’t even have records of who they were fighting, not to mention borders have changed a lot and their enemies may no longer exist. There are theories, sure, but frankly I don’t care and this ain’t about them anyways. 

No one agrees when it was, but at some point in history, there was a shift away from battling with weapons like swords and knives, and towards Pokémon battling. And that particular shift is so so important for disabled history, because it’s something that allowed disabled people more social mobility. 

I’ll back up a bit. So, in what I will be referring to as the Sword Era, monarchies were the default form of government because they’re stable and decisive. People often needed swift governments because they were often under attack from their neighbors. 

Alola was. Frankly pretty damn isolationist due to their geographic location, but I’ll get to that in a second. 

So. Sword Era meant that warriors would have the most upward social mobility. You could gain power and glory by honing your body and proving yourself in battle! Scholars had this to a lesser extent, being good choices for advisors and members of the court, but they were typically too eccentric (read: likely autistic) to participate in the highly neurotypical social structures of the upper court, and it was more common to simply have one at your manor. 

This is the part where I cut in and go on a tangent about how there’s this pervasive idea that all physically disabled people are gloriously intelligent prodigies, trapped in a body unsuited for athletics but with a brilliant intellect and a quick wit. That’s straight up not true and it’s confirmation bias. Sure, you had a decent number of physically disabled scholars. But you also had disabled people who were more like me. Who had brain fog or other cognitive impairments, who had undiagnosed or unmedicated tismHD, who were in so much pain that they couldn’t think properly.

Those people? They stayed at home, with their family as caretakers. And… hm. This wasn’t great. I’m skimming over this one because it hits a little close to home lol.

Alolan royalty was largely about distribution of resources and conflict resolution. And as technology progressed, they were able to delegate more of their work to specialize committees that could make better decisions about things like urban planning, and this lifted a lot of the responsibility from them. Alolan royals were scholars first and foremost, who trained in geography and politics and alchemy and ecology, and there are records of a good deal of them being…frankly unhappy and overwhelmed by their lot in life. 

That said, Alolans were largely community oriented, which caused some large cultural clashes when the Kalosian war arrived. So disabled people in Alola were seen as people for their entire community to take care of, rather than for their family alone to help. And this means that disabled Alolans, historically, have some advantages! If you’re disabled in Alola, there are fewer elevators and wheelchair accessible doors, but people are a lot more likely to open doors for you or offer a ride pokemon to assist you up the stairs.

That said. Because Alolans are also very traditional, they’re actually behind in accessibility compared to other regions. They’re just very good at compensating. There’s a project in the works that aims to find a way to preserve some of the linguistic quirks of alolan in braille forme, so that people have better ways to connect to their dual cultural identity as both blind/visually impaired AND alolan. I’m part of the kickstarter for that one, so I can get a textured “Welcome to alola” sticker when they move into the next phase.

So, when and how did the sword era end? For this, we actually have a myth in the Veilstone museum. It’s muddied somewhat by being oral history, but it goes like this:

A young man, callow and foolish in innocence, came to own a sword.

With it, he smote Pokémon, which gave sustenance, with carefree abandon.

Those not taken as food, he discarded, with no afterthought.

The following year, no Pokémon appeared. Larders grew bare.

The young man, seeking the missing Pokémon, journeyed afar.

Long did he search. And far and wide, too, until one he did find.

Asked he, "Why do you hide?" To which the Pokémon replied...

"If you bear your sword to bring harm upon us, with claws and fangs, we will exact a toll."

"From your kind we will take our toll, for it must be done."

"Done it must be to guard ourselves and for it, I apologize."

To the skies, the young man shouted his dismay.

"In having found the sword, I have lost so much."

"Gorged with power, I grew blind to Pokémon being alive."

"I will never fall savage again. This sword I denounce and forsake."

"I plead for forgiveness, for I was but a fool."

So saying, the young man hurled the sword to the ground, snapping it.

Seeing this, the Pokémon disappeared to a place beyond seeing...

So! Some people think it may be a literal interpretation of the hero of Galar, or the mad creator of the Ultimate Weapon in Kalos. Other people think it’s a more fictional way of processing what happened. I don’t care enough to get into the discourse, but the point is, we can clearly point to the end of the Sword Era.

And It’s The Pokeball Revolution.

If we take the interpretation of the myth to be figurative, it’s about not only overhunting and violence for the sake of violence, but shame. People were ashamed, the land was ravaged, and they were starting to pay the price. We don’t know what triggered it, and we suspect that it was very deliberately forgotten about. This is when you see the Evocation Movement in art, which frequently depicted moments in everyday life, or sleeping pokemon, as if trying to preserve and appreciate this joy after taking it for granted.

Shortly following this was the Alchemic Renaissance, during which people started really trying to study and categorize pokemon. No one had taken on anything as ambitious as the compiled regional pokedex yet, but there were scholars who studied one pokemon or one type and did so intensely.

And alongside this, you started seeing people get portraits done with their pokemon. Not just official ones with big strong pokemon, but things like the Old Man’s Treasure1, in which the treasure is a sprigatito that he is eagerly showing off to those around him. 

And these are things that have survived! These tell us that people were learning to live alongside and love their pokemon! We also see the precursors to the modern pokeball, which were carved from marble or wood.

Later, we get the apricorn, which makes pokeballs much more accessible. And this is where disabled history really kicks up a notch, and we get the Crip Revolution, a social movement dedicated to disabled people and their support pokemon finally gaining independence. They got together and shared their experiences, and a couple alchemists of the time started listening and finding a niche.

But it wasn’t always good. Some of them shared experiences with abusive caretakers, or realized that they were being abused because they’d gained context for what happened. And we started getting this massive social question of whether the family caretaking model was really the best. The medical community was surging in knowledge of how to treat people, and the disabled community started offering their services as lab rattata. Some of them helped with advancements that are used even today, such as the prototypes for a shirt buttoner for those with low coordination. But there was a rather high profile case, the Fever Night2, where this didn’t happen, and it prompted the medical community to seriously re-examine their ethics considerations and how they conducted experiments. They did manage to save most of the victims in time, but the project was shut down and its assets sold off.

Another thing that comes into play here is accessibility. Because if a rapidash hates those stairs, and you build a ramp, a disabled person may also benefit from the ramp. Incorporating pokemon into society actually expanded the public’s view of what body types need to be accommodated for, even if those are relatively uncommon, like dwarfism. Travel became easier, and cultures mixed more even in the same region.

This is getting long, oops. Anyways, disabled people used their newfound freedom to start participating in pokemon battles, and this was generally a lot better! Blind/deaf trainers struggled a lot with this format, and made their own organizations, but social mobility was becoming less of an issue. Now, it was about traveling and independence and showing off their skills.

Another thing with travel is the use of Hidden Machines. These are gradually being phased out as many regions begin adopting the Ride Pager system, but a Hidden Machine is a way of standardizing the safest way possible to make a route accessible. Many pokemon are able to cut down a tree, but those with HM training are shown to be less likely to injure themselves or their trainer doing so.

One last thing before I go. About the future.

People have been leaking documents online after the Flare bullshit. And, uh. There was a set of “Ugly Laws”3 that said the quiet part aloud. That in the new world they wanted to make, disabled people would be committing a legal offense just by existing in public. The idea was that being disabled was inherently begging for pity and making people uncomfortable. And I guess it just goes to show that even an organization that claimed to want a better future didn’t understand how to make it, and just wanted to get rid of inconvenient discomfort. 

We don’t have a lot of answers for the disabled future. Is it ethical to cure Deafness, to give a baby a colchear implant? What about the currently unavailable possibility of getting something similar when you’re older? Will certain disabilities be cured out of existence, out of community? What happens if someone doesn’t want the cure they are offered? Can we really find an accessibility solution for ancient ruins? Should we?

Whatever happens. You just have to keep fighting, one day at a time.

//ooc stuff under cut

1.https://useum.org/artwork/Old-Man-s-Treasure-Das-Katzchen-Karl-Gussow-1876 

2. Fever Night is fictional, and not elaborated on much. It referred to a series of experiments on curing “the malaise,” which is generally thought to be clinical depression. Due to a misunderstanding in dosages, the patients all developed Serotonin Syndrome and wandered the streets in a daze. Worth noting that this was done out of genuine desire to help these people. In the wake of Fever Night, it was decided that more thorough testing was required before administering medicines.

3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ugly_law Ugly laws are very real, and very much happened more recently than anyone would like to admit. The last one was repealed in Chicago, in 1974.

[elaho]

Stardew Valley MBTI x Enneagram: Alex

Following my last post about the Stardew marriage candidates and their MBTI types, I've been learning more about Enneagram, how it pairs with MBTI, and how it changes some of the typical characteristics of each type.

The Enneagram and MBTI complement each other wonderfully, providing greater depth and understanding of how a person interacts with the world [Cognitive Functions] and their motivations why [Core Desire/Core Fear]. So without further ado, here are my thoughts on each marriage candidate's Enneagram paired with their MBTI, starting with Alex.

Alex - ESTP 3w2: “The Ultimate Showman”

“ESTP 3w2 lives for the limelight and adoration. However, there’s more. The ESTP 3w2 is goal-oriented with a touch of generosity. They are the game-changers and dealbreakers. Because they have type 2 as a wing, they also want appreciation for their heroics. They turn the aggressive nature of the ESTP into something more entertaining to watch.” – Personality Hunt

Alex’s Core Desire: To be successful

The core desire of the ESTP 3w2 is to be successful. Alex's dream is to become a professional gridball player -- and enjoy all the fame and fortune that comes with it. He measures his success and sense of self-worth on external admiration and appreciation from others.

"You know, I used to want fame and fortune, but lately I've been starting to sing a different tune.”

“Yes... I know. That's why I've been so determined to be successful with my sports stuff...Make it or not... As long as I try my hardest, I think [my mom]'d be proud. Thanks.”

Alex’s Core Fear: To be seen as a failure

The core fear of the ESTP 3w2 is to be seen as a failure. Alex fears being viewed as a failure or worthless, especially by those closest to him. He perceives his sense of failure or worthlessness from external criticism or other's lack of appreciation [whether real or not].

“… [my dad] ruined everything for me and my mom… he'd drink all night and tell me I'm worthless, that I'd never amount to anything.”

“That's insane. You're just jealous that I'm talented and popular and you're not.” ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

How Enneagram 3w2 changes typical ESTP behaviour: New Strengths

1. Extra Charming

ESTPs are naturally charming, but ESTP 3w2s take this to a new level. Type 3s are excellent at persuasion and subtle manipulation, enhancing the ESTP's natural Extroverted Feeling [Fe] ability to woo and flatter others.

Examples:

“Hey, now that's what I'm talking about! You're cooler than I thought.”

"Heard you caught some kind of rare fish? I'm impressed. Your arms must be stronger than they look! pinch … not bad!"

"Hey, Farmer. Did you do something different with your hair? Something keeps grabbing my attention.",

"Hey, you look like you're getting into some good shape this summer! All that farm work is paying off, huh?"

2. More Helpful

Type 2s are known for being helpful, and because of this, ESTP 3w2s often find joy in helping others. Their motives might sometimes be questionable due to being type 3 but mature 3w2s can make generous and inspiring leaders.

Examples:

“If I ever make a lot of money, I'll make sure all my friends and family are taken care of. That means you, too.”

“I've been setting aside a few scraps for Dusty. He deserves a treat now and then.”

"Hey, honey! I made you a hot breakfast. If you want to get strong, you have to eat like you mean it!” "I'm still getting used to cooking and doing laundry… It's not exactly my favorite, but I knew what I was getting into when I married you." "There's a couple things around the house that I'm going to try and fix today. Don't worry about me, I'm not bored."

3. More Tactful

ESTPs are known for being blunt and tactless, but 3w2s realize that to help get what they want, being tactful has benefits. This only applies if they want to get close to someone or if it's with someone they respect. With everyone else, they typically don't care.

Examples:

“Oh wow...your shoes are a little dirty... but that's fine, too! Different people have different tastes I guess.” [Four Hearts] [Beach invite accept] "Of course you do. If you didn't I'd think you were crazy. Or some kind of nerd" [Beach invite rejection] "Really? You must be some kind of weirdo."

4. Better Work Ethic

The combination of Type 3 and ESTP makes them highly self-motivated and goal-oriented. As a result, ESTP 3w2s are true powerhouses of determination who go hard for their beliefs and stop at nothing to achieve their dreams.

Examples:

"I'm going to be the first professional gridball player from Stardew Valley… There's no doubt in my mind. I already led my school's team to the regional playoffs… Now I'm just training and getting stronger so I can claim my spot on the roster of the Zuzu City Tunnelers. You just wait!

5. More Disciplined

ESTPs aren't the most organized people, but because of the ESTP 3w2s' need to be successful, they are a bit more disciplined than typical ESTPs; However, they still tend to be scatterbrained in other aspects of life.

Examples:

“I'm going to do two hundred sit-ups tonight. I'm pretty dedicated, aren't I?”

“Oh, I almost forgot! It's my day for doing push-ups! Every time I do push-ups I try to do one more than last time.” “You have to work really hard if you want to achieve your maximum potential.”

“ My arms are really sore, but that's the sign of progress for a guy like me. I must've done a thousand push-ups yesterday.”

"Sorry my room is so messy. It's just hard to always remember to clean. I'm trying to get better, though."

6. Better Fashion Sense

Due to their primary function [Extroverted Sensing], ESTPs typically have an eye for beauty or aesthetically pleasing things. ESTP 3w2s, however, take their appearance much more seriously than just simple appreciation. Because type 2s and 3s are highly concerned with public appearances and reputation, ESTP 3w2s have a strong sense of fashion.

Examples:

“Did you get new pants? You're doing something right.”

“Did you do something different with your hair? Something keeps grabbing my attention.”

“If my hair wasn't so popular with the ladies, I swear I'd shave it all off in a second.”

"There's some weird people living in this town…like that guy Sebastian. Why does he wear black all the time? I don't get it."

New Weaknesses

1. Loss of Identity/Self-Awareness

ESTP 3w2s are masters at adapting to people's desires and emotions but they also risk losing their sense of self in others. As a result, ESTPs wear a facade for long periods. And when they have to drop the mask, they can't remember who they are.

Examples:

"I've started to realize that… well, that I've been really rude towards you in the past. You know, about going pro and all that. I guess I might not actually be cut out for professional sports… maybe it was just a childish dream… you know? " "Look at all these books. I haven't read a single one. Just the thought of cracking one open makes me nervous. But you can't make a decent living in this world without a brain…I'm worthless…"

2. Need for External Validation

Because ESTP 3w2s are self-image-focused, they highly value motivation and encouragement through external validation - it gives them the drive to keep pushing. The dangerous side is that they can view their accomplishments as less valuable if they don't receive recognition for their efforts. They can fish for compliments or get cranky if they don't feel appreciated. At worst, this can lead to serious self-doubt. But ESTPs are tenacious and will quickly bounce back regardless.

Examples:

"*sniff*... "Oh… Farmer. You saw me crying. ... "So… What are you thinking right now? "Well, there's no sense sitting around sniveling… let's head back to town. "Um… Farmer? Don't tell anyone I was crying. Okay?"

“Hey, can I ask you something? Do you think the ladies like my haircut?”

“Hey, I've been practicing twice as hard so I can turn pro and prove you wrong. You just wait.”

"Well, I'm not going to give up! If I work hard, I can do anything!"

3. Mild/Moderate People-Pleasing

"The need to be appreciated and to excel makes the ESTP 3w2s mild people-pleasers. However, make no mistake. The act of people-pleasing is only done when it benefits them. This personality type is always playing the long game. If people pleasing can get them there, so be it." - Personality Hunt

Examples:

“Hey Farmer girl. You've got a nice tan going. The more I practice this summer, the easier it'll be for me to go pro. Then you'd be able to say you knew me once. Cool, huh?” Hey, when I turn pro you can say you were my first "fan". Not bad, huh?

"Hey, you must be getting pretty strong working on that farm all day. Maybe you'll reach my level some day. Something to look forward to, huh?"

4. Chronic Workaholics

ESTP 3w2s have an incredible work ethic, but this can also be detrimental if they aren't careful. ESTP 3w2s who don't prioritize their health and relationships alongside their goals risk becoming workaholics. This is especially true if they become competitive or are trying to help someone else achieve their goals alongside their own. Their personal well-being and relationships often suffer as a result.

Examples:

“I've been trying to do more reading lately... I feel like I've been neglecting my brain for years because of my athletic obsession.”

5. Bad Financial Decisions

ESTPs aren't the best at managing money, and being a 3w2 makes this even worse. Because they want to impress others, they will often make extravagant purchases to look more successful or affluent than they really are. This can also apply if they want to appear helpful to others, giving expensive gifts beyond their financial means.

Examples:

“I got these new shoes yesterday 'cuz my old pair had a brown smudge. I just threw them into the garbage.” "Hey, Farmer. Before you head out…I hate to ask this… but can I have 5,000g? It's for a secret project I'm working on… I know we have a joint bank account, but I thought I should ask anyway."

"Thanks again for the money, Farmer. It was a fun project for me, and all the guys seem happy with it!"

------------------------------------------------------------------

Conclusion

Though it can be challenging to type Alex [or any fictional character, for that matter] with 100% accuracy, given everything we know about his character and his personal growth throughout the game, I believe is strong evidence to suggest that Alex is an ESTP 3w2.

His Enneagram type 3 desire for fame and recognition, paired with his MBTI cognitive strengths as an ESTP, makes watching his character transform from an arrogant, superficial man with an unhealthy obsession with becoming a professional athlete into a caring, supportive, and devoted friend/partner to the farmer incredibly satisfying. Do you agree that Alex is an ESTP 3w2? If not, what type do you think he is? Let me know your thoughts in the comments :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------- References:

Personality Hunt: ESTP 3w2 - The Complete Guide

[jazzy---j]

CC3... and just my problems with sjm as a whole.

Soooooo, yeah. that was a bit disappointing. I wanna start off that due to the problematic nature of SJM I wanna make it clear I no longer financially support her. When I first began reading her books I was in high school and didn't know much about whose books I was reading. Most of it was just pick up a book, read the summary, if I liked it I bought it. But now as an adult who is on booktok and all the other bullshit (it's a whole mess) I can see all of a book and author's pros and cons and be like, "nah, I'm not doing that." And you know as a black woman, I cannot just be and do what I want and damn whoever it may impact or the consequence. I don't get to live in that world. I feel like I have somewhat of a responsibility to not contribute to the harm that the world already does to marginalized people around the world. That's just me personally, black people are not a monolith and this way of thinking doesn't apply to all of us.

Anyway all that being said, I am a book reader who is invested in whatever story they are reading and want to know what happens. So I read CC3.., but was sailing the high seas while I did it if you know what I mean. And let me just say... yikes. The problematic things that SJM does in real life and all that those issues mean really do shine in this book. I mean I always knew white authors have different experiences than me so I don't expect something that caters to me when I read their books but, idk sjm makes all the problematic things just so apparent. And it's just generally hard to read. There can't be any separation between the art and the artist in this one guys. I'm a political science and history major in real life so I spend my time studying political theory and structures of power in historical contexts. Hopefully, I can work to better understand those structures in our current present and with my intersection of activism (I am very passionate about that in my day-to-day) work to make a better world for marginalized people. So when I read SJM, I see some very troubling themes in her work. Themes that can perpetuate misogyny, racism, and imperialism. And it just makes me queasy reading it. It's not fun for me to read that. The way she used the oppression and discrimination of people as a major plot device, that the heroes have to defeat but in real life be ok with taking a birthright trip is just... a type of cognitive dissonance that I can't even put into words. and don't think I forgot the Breonna Taylor incident that she still has on her Instagram. if you don't know what I'm talking about look it up on TikTok, many black book readers have created multiple videos explaining that whole situation.

Now some people may be like, "What the fuck are you talking about. I don't see any of this." And like that's cool maybe because of what I'm studying I just see it everywhere. But I just have not been able to shake this ickiness in my gut about her work. The most thought-out example of the problematic nature of her work that I have is the description and characterization of the Illyrian people.

Now the way she physically described the illryians is as brown-skinned, with dark hair, and brown or dark eyes. This does put them in a very racially ambiguous position but to describe them as brown-skinned makes me picture brown people who in real life are racially recognized as black and brown people. People apart of brown communities are usually Southeast Asian or Arab people. They are marginalized in real life through various forms of oppression displayed in orientalism perpetuated mostly recently by the United States in the last 30 years (the war on terror, but this behavior goes back so much further). The Illyrian people's cultural characterization coupled with their physical description aligns with the negative aspects of Orientalism. Literally, the illryians are described as "backward", "barbaric", "slow to change", and stuck in timeless, old antiquated traditions that encourage the abuse of women and children. Sjm describes an indigenous people (she makes it clear that the illryians are native to the night court and nowhere else) as "savage" culturally, in their interpersonal relationships, and communally. That is just described as inherent to the people (except for a couple of characters who are "the good ones", or "not like that" and lucky enough to get away). Culturally they are described as being constantly in a state of conflict, preparing for and/or enjoying that conflict. I'm so sorry but that is Orientalism, literally the definition of how Orientalism was used to justify the colonization of the Middle East and parts of Asian during the colonization period and again when the western powers and the United States had a vested interest in interfering politically and economically in the region in the last couple of decades. That same language was used to describe the people of the Middle East and justify their oppression in the West. The exact same words. I did not understand the connection until I took a Middle East: politics and society class about two semesters ago and again that same language was used when we were learning about Orientalism. I went back to read some of acotar again and I saw all of that in relation to the illryians and I was like, "oh, oh no." I really don't know what else to say. To me, the relation is very very clear and makes my stomach just drop when reading it.

And the thing about it is it did not have to be this way, SJM did not have to characterize them like that. There is no real narrative function of this characterization, they are not the bad guys of the story or the main antagonist. In fact, the main characters need them to actually defeat the evil. SJM at the base made an interesting indigenous group of people that could have been a unique culture in her narrative landscape and added to her world-building. Instead, she wrote harmful stereotypes about vaguely racialized, marginalized people that directly mirror a marginalized group of people in the real world. Now was that her intention or just the subconscious influence of Orientalism in our society coming out without her awareness? I mean i cannot confirm from the horse's mouth that this is the case right? She has never actually said this. But her stance on current world events that are happening right (Palestine and Gaza strip) does not give me a lot of hope that she is completely unaware. But either way, this can hurt people in the real world. In the book, because the Illyrians are characterized the way that they are, the main characters are put in a moral position of opposition, that is the the dynamic. And to me, that dynamic is hard to read knowing what I know and what actually happens in real life to people that the Illyrians mirror. it begins to be super easy to just live in that moral opposition that can stripe away people's humanity and value. Azriel's contempt for his people and desire to destroy Illyria and the culture is a good example of what happens to these groups in real life. This is just one example of things in her work that can be problematic.

And listen I'm not writing this to tell you to stop reading her, to tell you what to do with your money, or who to like/support. That is not my job. I just wanted to share some of my thoughts and give whoever is reading this food for thought. And hey I might be reading too much into this, and just going way too deep. It is just hard for me to enjoy her work anymore knowing and seeing what I see. I can't really ignore that icky gut feeling.

And hey do I think sjm is a good writer? Eh... that is a whole other blog post. I could go really deep into her world-building, story choices, and what I think might just be lazy writing. But there are some aspects that I do like and are unique. But guess what? The fandom's fanfic writers are the light in the tunnel in this situation. As they often are in other fandoms. they take the actual cool and fun things that SJM created and build on them in a way that does not negatively depict the representation of real people. In a way that is not narratively disappointing. In a way that is just fun for everyone to enjoy. Free of charge they express their talent because they love to do it for however long they want to. Fanfiction is an amazing system that I hope and pray won't get messed up. Like one of my favorite creators @separatist-apologist posted about last week, "I think no matter what happens, we've all spent so much time reading fic and developing headcanons that whatever SJM does isn't going to live up to the fantasy we've created...". And I for real felt that and I just wanna shout out to all the fic writers who make this space fun despite all the fandom fuckery and SJM fuckery.

@separatist-apologist, @thehaemanthus, @the-lonelybarricade, @moodymelanist, @ablogofsapphicpanic, @vidalinav, @vikingmagic33, @c-e-d-dreamer

There are more that I probably missed. So you know thank you guys for making things fun and giving me something to read that doesn't give me an icky feeling when I read.

So yeah, thank you for coming to my ted talk. this turned out to be hella long but you know once I started I couldn't stop. If you have any questions, my ask box is open. Again these are just my thoughts. you don't have to agree and I'm not trying to change your mind. I just needed to share this somewhere.

[borderlinebrooke-bpd]

9 Symptoms of BPD

If you're thinking you may have #BPD or know someone who might, here are the 9 symptoms that are used to diagnose BorderlinePersonalityDisorder.

A person with 5 or more would qualify for the diagnosis.

1. Fear Of Abandonment:

A borderline has an extreme fear of abandonment, which can be real or perceived. This could be someone leaving their life for good, or something as simple as emotional dismissal. Leading them to believe the person doesn't truly care for them and will inevitably leave sooner or later.

They will constantly try to prepare for the abandonment, oftentimes triggering it with their irrational behavior.

Fear of abandonment usually stems from severe trauma or loss. There are other theories behind why it occurs, like cognitive and emotional development issues, past relationships, and childhood trauma.

#DBT therapy can be helpful in identifying triggers and managing the symptoms that most often lead to conflicts in relationships and fear of abandonment.

2. Unstable & Intense Interpersonal Relationships:

This can be an intimate relationship, immediate family, close friends, co-workers, etc.

New relationships start out passionately but then start to roller coaster from one extreme to another. A person with #BPD generally sees things as either "all good" or "all bad," with no middle ground. They often swing from extreme love and idealization to extreme dislike or devaluation. This can be with a new lover, friend, or even job. This is known as #Splitting.

Borderlines often dive headfirst into new relationships without much thought, and even less reservation. However, more often than not, something will happen (ex. an argument with a partner, criticism from a co-worker or boss, plans falling through, etc.) that causes them to switch their view on the person or situation from good to bad.

This is a defense. A person with #BPD will subconsciously develop ways to protect themself from future trauma. It's basically, "you showed me that you're capable of hurting me, so I'm going to go ahead and just hate you now, so you can't do that to me again."

That being said, #Borderlines crave relationships. So, they will continue to jump into them, whatever the form, causing a vicious cycle that ends up fueling their fear of abandonment.

People who suffer from BPD are extremely sensitive to rejection and tend to "overreact" when faced with it, Real or perceived, the emotion hurts the same. It can become so overwhelming that many give up on whatever they are doing at the moment. Sometimes they even destroy relationships or quit their jobs. It's extremely debilitating and holds significant consequences.

Being self-aware, they often know the consequences beforehand and still can't do anything to stop it.

3. Identity Disturbance:

This is a distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self. Things like goals, behavior, and beliefs can change frequently. It's a constant, often subconscious feeling of not knowing who you are. There's a general discontentment of not knowing how to live because they don't really know what they even like. Someone with #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder will often times #mirror the traits of people around them. However, some will go so far as to change their name and identify as someone else entirely with defining traits of their own.

In a recent study, 4 identity disturbance factors were identified in BPD.

Role Absorption - Described as defining themselves by a single role or cause. Often taking on the interest of others and mirroring their behaviors, notably a #FavoritePerson or #FP

Painful Incoherence - The most distinguished in BPD, is a subjective sense of lack of coherence.

To explain, a Sense of Coherence or #SOC is "an adaptive dispositional orientation with the personality, that enables coping with adverse experiences." Meaning, their ability to understand the situation. The greater your understanding, the greater your ability to cope, and vice versa.

Inconsistency - This is an objective incoherence in thought, feeling, and behavior. Inconsistent, meaning, not staying the same throughout.

Lack of Commitment - Displayed in things such as jobs, morals, or goals.

Identity Disturbance, more so than many other symptoms, sets #BPD patients apart from those with other disorders. It's also prevalent in BPD patients that don't have a history of abuse.

4. Impulsivity:

Psychologically, #inpulsivity (or impulsiveness) is the tendency to act on a whim, displaying behavior characterized by little or no forethought, reflection, or consideration of the possible consequences.

Some examples could be substance abuse, binge eating, spending sprees, reckless driving, unprotected sex, etc.

A person with #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder has a tendency to act this way as a way to relieve whatever the emotion is that's overwhelming them at the time. It only serves as a bandaid though, and they are left picking up the pieces of their impulsive behavior after each episode. All the while, it's just about impossible for them to stop themselves from the act in the first place, and knowing it will inevitably happen again. We just see that it feels better "right now."

Not only does their impulsive behavior negatively affect them, but the fallout also tends to land on those around them. This is yet another reason they struggle with relationships, of any kind.

Note: If these behaviors are primarily associated with a good mood or high energy level, it could be a sign of a mood disorder, rather than #BPD.

5. Recurrent Suicidal Behavior or Thoughts / Self Harm:

#SelfHarm is often shown through behaviors like cutting. This generally isn't a suicide attempt, but more an attempt to physically "let out" their internal pain.

#Suicide attempts can sometimes be a cry for help but can be extremely dangerous as many have actually died not intending to. However, often it's not a cry for help, but that they don't actually see that there's any other option to cure the constant pain they are in.

If you or someone you know is struggling with this, there are resources to help!

People with #BPD and those around them often think they are a lost cause, or nothing could ever "fix them" enough to live a normal life. This is simply NOT true!

There are lots of success stories out there if you're needing a little inspiration!

Give it a Google..

6. Affective Instability:

Defined as the tendency to experience rapid and intense mood swings that are difficult to control.

Moods fluctuate intensely over a short period of time, and go from one extreme to another, triggered by things around them, or moments in a conversation. It's very hard to tell what the next trigger will be, as the person with #BPD often doesn't even realize what their triggers are.

Emptional instability is a defining characteristic of #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder however it's not to be confused with #BiPolar Disorder. Someone with Bi-Polar will have mood shifts in a matter of days. A person with #BPD will have mood shifts in a matter of hours, sometimes minutes.

7. Chronic Feelings of Emptiness:

This is experienced as a feeling of numbness and "nothingness" so to speak. It's a feeling of disconnection from both self and others. It's also associated with feelings of purposelessness and unfulfillment. Like, "there's nothing inside me, I'm a hollow shell." A person with #BPD will try to fill the empty space with other things, such as another person, purchases, etc. They have a need to feel whole and look to the world to complete them.

Some examples of things that could cause this are, not having very many meaningful relationships, living or working in an invalidating environment, not having a clear sense of self. A majority of the time they feel unworthy or undeserving and don't believe they are important at all.

8. Inappropriate and Intense Shows of Anger:

This usually involves screaming and yelling, but it can sometimes even get physical. It can be sudden and very intense, and it leaves those close to them on edge, "walking on eggshells" all the time.

The person with #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder doesn't enjoy acting this way anymore that the people around them enjoy being around it. They are self-aware, though it may not seem like it. They will feel instant regret and fear that they may have triggered abandonment by whoever they got angry with. Then they will turn the anger on themselves for "being so stupid." All within a short period of time, hours, maybe even less.

You never really know what can be a trigger. A good way to put it would be that #Borderlines have really thin skin.

9. Transient Stress-Induced Paranoid Ideation:

This is a feeling of extreme paranoia that everyone, even those they think they are close to, are out to get them, or conspiring against them in some way. They have difficulty trusting due to fear of people's intentions, hear negative voices, and can even be seen as psychotic and delusional. It's dissociation, not to be confused with Dissociation Identity Disorder. It can be like a spell of amnesia. Where they have a very blurred sense of reality for a period of time; if they remember much of it at all. Feeling cut off from themselves, or even seeing themself from "outside their own body."

It can also be an overwhelming feeling that something very bad is about to happen.

-Borderline Brooke

[against-forms-recognizable]

Okay, so, here's the thing, here's where a lot of my anarchism comes from.

Let's go all the way back, back to where humans came from, the ancestral environment. In the ancestral environment, when we're all hunter gatherers, sometimes there's scarcity. And when there's scarcity, it's who you know and the nature of those relationships which determines whether or not you survive. So, being a social animal, the degree to which you manipulate the social environment is a huge factor in that.

A lot of the ways we do this are through social structures, phantasms. We have a lot of them floating around; gender, morality, honor, justice, family. These are all things that don't actually exist materially. They only exist as a linking of concepts, a constellation of ideas that we reify into a system. And we use these to control each other, to create a social environment that is more suitable to getting our needs met. They form the bedrock of our civilization and society.

We enforce these structures most often by methods of social correction; isolation, harassment, bullying, and so on, to make people get with the program. And when that fails sometimes there is violent coercion, in modern times usually by the body that maintains a monopoly on violence and violent coercion, the state.

But because these things don't actually exist materially, they are flexible. We can add or remove stars from these constellations while maintaining mostly the same recognizable shape and other people still recognize it and might not even realize we changed it at all. And we all do this, all the time, generally unconsciously, in ways that favor us. This is where identity politics comes from, right? All of the toxicity within it. Everyone is trying to weaponize these structures to extract material benefit from the social environment by reshaping these relations to be more favorable to them.

But these abstractions are largely the way we make sense of the world. It's the foundation of language and cognition and communication. So anything we do together will always result in people playing these games with each other, defecting in this grand prisoner's dilemma.

This applies to communism, too - I think every communist has started out well-meaning, the marxist-leninists included. The thing is that we are fundamentally unable to participate in society without trying to turn it to our benefit, it is hard-wired into us, we are so good at it that we don't even realize when we are doing it. And it applies to anarcho-communism, as well, even in the absence of a coercive state people can still accrue soft social power and utilize that to create a social hierarchy - even a simple reading of Ursula K. Le Guin's The Dispossessed, which posits a flawed anarcho-communist utopia, reveals it as an investigation into how even if you start out with true believers, applying it on a society wide level will result in the vast majority of people talking the talk without walking the walk.

So, at present, because I don't really see a way out of this, my anarchism is mostly formulated as a critical orientation at these structures which create hierarchy and domination, a toolbox of critique that we can use to break them down, a continual process that must be adhered to as everyone will always be trying to build new ones up. Conscious deconstruction, of our unconscious constructions. This doesn't mean I don't think things can be better, that I don't think a positive social project is possible. I just don't know how to get there, right now, with a method I'm sure won't just end up making things worse.

[frail-and-freakish]

on growing up with "intensive intervention" and abuse as a young autistic trans kid.

(quotes are from neuropsychs and reports, things said to me verbally, my own words/thought processes at different times. tw ABA, dehumanizing clinical language, stim suppression, some transphobia toward the end)

february 6th 2012.

an appealing child

with many areas of precocious development

alongside areas

of definite developmental lag.

diagnostically

meets the following criteria

for a pervasive developmental disorder.

you want more water

pronominal reversal

Alligator alligator alligator

intense and restricted interests. immediate echolalia.

its too hard to be a girl

too hard to be (deadname)

call me pangoo the penguin

because i'm scared of (deadname).

i like it when it’s cold

i hate it when it’s hot

appears overstimulated by environment

i am never tired

scripted language

i never like to smile when people tell me to

facial expression is usually flat

too soft too tight hurt hurt no touch

extremely opposed to imposed touch

it doesn’t hurt you

it just bothers you

need to control every aspect of environment

but i like it when it’s messy

do you like bedtime? is it bedtime? is it bedtime? bed bed bed

perseverative speech

i’m not good at saying what i mean

severe communication disorder

no is my monster

i only want to point to zoo animals

extremely self directed in play

i don’t want to say that

significant conversational rigidities

(the message is wrong

it’s okay to be sad

but you have to get over it.)

the words stab into the report with grisly black ink

began to behave in a silly manner

primal defense mechanisms

unhealthy involvement with reading

atypical prosody

symbol oriented cognition

disordered phonological processes

appears uninterested in others

needed maximum verbal cues

very spontaneous and overly enthusiastic

and also withdrawn and hyper focused on her own ideas.

my hands fold into my palms in the speech therapist’s office

ripple flutter in a dance with the air

motor stereotypy

often loses focus and becomes squirmy

stilled by a dead end voice

quiet hands

‘physically disorganized’

body messy

they think it’s weird

after all

it’s hard for you to know what other people are thinking

impaired theory of mind

everybody noticed

but they were being polite

and would never have said anything

to you

responds well to a behavioral approach.

may 5, 2018.

acute awareness of needs and vulnerabilities

too old to trick into being compliant

self appointed position as autism champion

i asked her if

when she was little and only read books about alligators

if we should have expected her teachers to respect that.

she said yes

failing of course to consider

that she was in a class with people who had various interests

not obsessions.

insisted that people who are cognitively impaired should not be changed.

having a vagina does not define biological sex????

i am going to have a hard time keeping up with her thought process.

extremely hypersensitive to what is perceived

as non-acceptance or rejection.

i thought you were just one type of weird

but now you have all these different types

i’m so sorry to hear that she

(forgive the pronoun, please)

is miserable right now.

the test was not developed for use

with individuals who are gender non-conforming.

steady growth in mastery of pragmatic language skills

improved social functioning

i am so happy to hear

that she’s acknowledging she needs help

rather than continuing down the path

of “i’m perfect.”

progress intervention treatment success.

barely even autistic.

[vasilinaorlova]

In this video, recorded three weeks ago (before the start of my practicum, which already began), I am talking about differences between coaching and counseling--admittedly, this is not a lecture or a laid-out number of differences but an attempt to distinguish between the two in a messy situation where disciplinarily, counseling and coaching are not institutionalized to the degree when distinctions become clear for everyone. There is a lot of suspicion and uneasiness about coaching in the counseling circles and maybe vice versa, and some of the differences are: coaching is not currently a licensed profession, it does not require a formal preparation or a formal completion of a degree as of 2024 (I am sure that will change in the future), and therefore coaching could be an umbrella term for a lot of shady practices in which people are harmed. The second difference is not institutional but pertains to the essence of what is done in counseling versus coaching: at least the type of counseling I am [being] initiated into does provide a clinical mental health diagnosis on the basis of recognized, identified, and formulated symptoms, whereas coaching does not engage with this layer of conceptualization of the client at all. That the coaching does not engage in conceptualizing the client in terms of mental health care however does not mean that the client would not have the symptoms of mental health issues--if the client does, and, as a coach trained in mental health counseling, the coach has the ability to recognize the disorder, the coach is obviously under obligation to direct the client to a mental health care professional licensed in the area.

I am going on a number of tangents in the video, which is why I like recording videos so much--talking is not writing. In particular, I am recollecting our anthropology seminars about affect and infrastructure led by the inimitable Kathleen Stewart--to me, these seminars were group counseling more than anything else. It is sometimes challenging to demarcate the clear borders between the types of engagement with people. Disciplinarily, some boundaries are fuzzy, but I believe in the ability of humanity to get very clear on the distinction between counseling and coaching eventually. When I talk about the market request, what I am saying is that not only do the clients who seek coaching understand that they are not seeking counseling, but also there is a type of engagement between people that is categorically different from counseling. I think another area of distinction is that counseling is following the feelings, whereas coaching is looking into life goals. The goals in counseling are clinical (for example, improve behavior by improving cognition), and the goals in coaching are externalized into the outside world. The distinction between counseling and coaching that counseling is focusing on the past and coaching is focusing on the future, that is currently popular to a degree it could be called a convention, I am skeptical about because counseling can focus on the future too--there is even something called "future-oriented" or "future-directed" therapy, founded by Jennice Vilhauer, which is in a lot of ways based, in my view, on cognitive-behavior therapy. But then there is also something called "behavioral coaching" as well.

My personal dream is to make more use of philosophy in the contemporary practices of becoming better / more well, something that I love to call becoming "happier and freer." The entirety of the language surrounding counseling, therapy, psychotherapy is medical. The language of counseling today is the language of care, healing, wounds, traumas. These words are metaphors, and, as such, they are imprecise. Maybe philosophy, if there was more space for it, could have made a difference and made the language of "helping professions" drier and less about "help," or "providing care," or "healing from the wounds," and more about analyzing the human existence from the point of view of what is necessary to achieve happiness and become freer, for an individual being and for society in general. Currently, I am trying to reserve this drier language for my (very limited in terms of how much time I can realistically devote to it) coaching practice.

Thank you for paying attention to my reflections. I hope you are doing great and are in the world of wonder and possibilities. I put together a new website: https://vasilina-orlova.clientsecure.me/ -- feel free to get in touch.

P.S. I have not even touched on the differences between counseling and therapy. This border is a bit less contested area because counseling is already somewhat established, after decades of its own struggle (which continues): it has Master's programs, competing accrediting institutions, professional associations, etc., etc. However, counseling's own disciplinary battles rage! (It's mainly counseling versus social work).

[cvrpedie-m]

Brain Age Mythology Compared to What Really Improves Cognitive Health

Many people have been asking us recently about whether we all have a "Brain Age" and how find out more here we can reduce our "brain ages". This concept is a myth, fueled by the (very fun) Nintendo game and a recent PBS campaign promoting a program produced by Posit Science.

The concept of having a "brain age" is, itself, profoundly unscientific, despite the radio ads for the PBS program titled Brain Fitness Program, where listeners of all ages get the impression (as many friends and colleagues have reported) that, should they buy the Posit Science Brain Fitness Program, they can expect their brains "rejuvenated" by 10 years. This, I hear often, must be true, coming from PBS.

Unfortunately, it isn't. And it isn't because the claim is founded on the same faulty premise of having a "brain age".

What is going on?

First, the good news. Today we know today that the brain retains lifelong plasticity (the ability to change itself through experience). Aging does not mean automatic decline.

Furthermore, we know that a variety of lifestyle factors, including physical and mental exercise, can influence how our mental abilities evolve as we age. We can delay or slow down age-related decline. Not only that, we can improve our abilities, and a number of computer-based programs have shown how they can help specific groups of people train and enhance specific cognitive skills.

Now, what is important to recognize is that there is not one overall "brain age". We can view our brain functions or cognitive abilities as a variety of skills, some more perception-related, some more memory-related, some more language-related, some more visual, some more abstract-thinking and planning oriented. All science-based brain fitness products in the market today target specific cognitive skills. The research that has been published shows how specific brain functions can be improved. But there is no general "brain age" that can be measured or trained in a meaningful way.

Let's analyze the PBS Posit Science-related message: you can rejuvenate your brain by 10 years. What would this mean, were it to be true? perhaps that ALL cognitive abilities would go back to where they were 10 years before. and that this would happen for individuals of all ages: in our 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s and so on. It would also mean that, given that rejuvenated "brain age", our risk of developing Alzheimer's symptoms would be adjusted to reflect our "new" brain age. And that the evolution of our cognitive abilities over the rest of our lives would reflect our new-found "brain age".

Has this been shown?

Unfortunately, not. The "10 years" claim seems based on one published study, and several unpublished ones, where individuals with an average age of around 70 years take on a very intense auditory processing training program that enables them to improve related auditory cognitive skills by a significant percentage. Whereby, on average, and on those specific skills, they reach a level comparable to people 60 years old.

But this doesn't say anything about other cognitive skills. Or Alzheimer's related risks. Or the cognitive trajectories that will follow.

Just think about this: if, by attending an intensive tennis camp, you were able to serve at a level comparable to people 10 years younger than your age...would you say that your body is now 10 years younger? Probably not. You'd say that now you play tennis better. Which is a significant benefit in itself if that's what you are after.

Recent studies have shown a tremendous variability in how well people age and how, to a large extent, our actions influence our rate of brain improvement and/or decline. The earlier we begin the better. And it is never too late.

What can we do to maintain our brain? Focus on four pillars of brain health: physical exercise, a balanced diet, stress management, and brain exercise. Stress management is important since stress has been shown to actually kill neurons and reduce the rate of creation of new ones. Brain exercises range from low-tech (i.e. meditation, mastering new complex skills, lifelong learning and engagement) to high-tech (i.e. using the growing number of brain fitness software programs).

In summary, the great news is that there are more tools available than ever before to assess and train a variety of cognitive skills, in what is still today a very small, but growing market. Nintendo, Posit Science, and others are offering valuable products and services.

[funkymbtifiction]

ENFP…or ESTJ?

Hi Charity, As always, any help would be appreciated! When I first met my boyfriend, the two things that jumped out at me were Ne and Te. I feel like he’s either a weird ENFP, or a weird ESTJ; I can make arguments for both, but his type is unclear to me. I strongly believe he’s a core 6 with a 1 fix, which probably complicates things!

I can see why you are confused, because I’m confused just listening to you describe him... but he sounds more like an ENP type for reasons of being disorganized, scatterbrained, and lacking firm positions on anything. ETJs have dominant thinking, which means their default opinion is the facts and whatever is rational defines their thinking -- they are often NOT open-minded, compared to the ENP “whatever, tomorrow I will change my mind about this” natural flexibility (some might call it naive idealistic indecision).

I could argue ESTJ in a Te-Ne loop. He describes himself as cognitively self aware but not in touch with his feelings. He’s extremely efficient and probably the best contingency planner I’ve ever met. He’s great with conceptual details and doesn’t make careless errors. He’s extremely conscientious and very focused on financial security because he views the world as a precarious, unkind place and feels he must protect himself against possible disaster and deprivation.

This is somewhat convincing, but also just strongly self-pres 6. 6s are focused, detail-oriented, conscientious, don’t want to make mistakes (so they check their work carefully), worried about the world being a scary place, and self-defending. So how much of that would you attribute to ESTJ if he were not a 6? Is his life structured and planned and dominated by extroverted thinking / facts? Are they his default go-to reaction to life, problems, situations, relationships, or is Te something he falls back on and uses decently but can easily throw aside?

He likes to read philosophy and psychology, and says (I’m a philosophy grad student) that he always wishes he could find himself in the room I’m in (surrounded by abstract thinkers, discussing ideas) but instead, he’s often bogged down by the mundane.

This could be SJ or it could be inferior Si activated by 6 over-attachment to being safe by paying attention to details. The distinction would be -- is the “mundane” where he excels, or is it a place of intense stress and aggravation for him? Where he can’t decide what’s too much detail and what isn’t enough, so there is no middle ground and he massively over-prepares and checks every box?

He likes the idea of being the type of person deeply interested in pure mathematics, but he’s just not (his words).

This could be a vote against ETJ. Te tends to be good at such things, even if they don’t like it, because their brain easily internalizes facts and structures.

He says he lacks focus, his mind is always elsewhere, but often on security-oriented planning. He’s not a big daydreamer.

Lacking focus can be ENP, being absent and thinking in other directions can be Ne or 7 wing, security-planning is being trapped in sp6. (What is his job? Does it require him to do security planning or is this something he does naturally? As an sp6, I am very concerned with sp things but my inferior Si sucks at being prepared so I always assume it will turn out fine and wing everything.)

He can be rigid in certain ways (won’t eat super sugary things, won’t drink coffee after 2pm, aware of rules and follows them—not because he cares about rules but because he’s afraid of getting in trouble).

This is neurosis around sp (dominant function). Also, rings of a strong 1 fix.

But, I could argue ENFP because he lacks the firm decision-making I’d expect in an ESTJ. He’s never known what he’s wanted to do with his life—he constantly sees alternatives and plays with different ideas, but also finds a way to shoot them down (but then he comes up with other angles or ideas). He started off studying chemistry, then polisci, then went to economics, then to computer science. He’s undecided about most things—he doesn’t have firm positions on a lot of topics we discuss but instead asks a million questions, picking things apart and finding inconsistencies. He absolutely loves to question things and poke holes in previously cherished ideas.

Yeah, sounds like ENP to me, especially the “nothing is sacred” part. 6 + ENP can be semi-attached to certain traditional ideas or beliefs, but also careless about ripping everything else to shreds; intellectual objectivity is important, which means especially for a head type ENP, you attack everything. Sounds 6w7 as well, there’s a lot of distracted-ness happening with him. Grass is greener, this is boring, let me try this other thing, dunno what I want, but not this...

He’s not as drawn to super super abstract things as I am (he can entertain them for a bit but then he thinks, what’s the significance of this?) but I’ve always seen that as his just not being a Ti-user like I am. He still finds himself in the realm of ideas, it’s just more connected to humanity, psychology, literature, existential philosophy as opposed to modal logic or meta-metaphysics (my favorite; he likes the concept more than the actual topic).

This isn’t anti-ENFP by any means. 

His thought process in general he describes as very nonlinear, even though he appears organized. Often, solutions just click for him (he’s a computer scientist and excels at coding) instead of logically working through them step by step.

I don’t know what to do with this, since “clicking” can be anything.

I can’t make an argument for strong Si. <- rules out ESTJ

He’s often unaware of details that I’d notice instantly. <- inferior Si

He throws away nostalgic items and then regrets it. He’s very untidy and leaves things lying around, forgets where he put things, doesn’t notice when I’m wearing makeup or not sometimes other than “something is different”. A friend went bald almost overnight and he never noticed, even when the friend pointed it out. <- inferior Si

He’s extremely klutzy to the point where sometimes I have to check that his shoes are properly tied so he won’t trip. <- LOL, tho not type related

He says he spent all of undergrad lamenting his decision to go to a certain school, regretting, wondering how life would have been had he done otherwise. <- Ne/Si for sure (often a grip and/or the ENP not moving forward due to over-focusing on the past and philosophizing about what they lost, instead of being tangible and assertive in chasing a new future for themselves)

In general though, he loves traveling and is bored by sameness. He’d be fine constantly traveling, having no firm home base (as long as he was traveling in comfort). <- hmm, I wouldn’t ever want this, but he seems sp6 in every other regard. Super strong 7 wing, apparently.

He’s also very emotionally expressive despite being somehow also out of touch with his feelings or values (smiles and laughs a lot, makes jokes to try to connect with people). Often it’s not clear what he values until someone slights him. In a way, he’s much more sensitive than me, but it’s only once I’ve crossed a line. He can lack compassion for other people and he sometimes privileges his own emotional struggles while being dismissive of others (without realizing this is what he’s doing). <- consistent with Fi

I’d say ENFP is a good guess.

[tsurishaddai]

When I was first diagnosed with “Asperger’s Syndrome” in 2008 (sorry, this was before DSM 5) I was fortunate to work with a psychologist who thought that as an engineer/mathematician I would appreciate an informational oriented therapy. She lent me a textbook from her library. I have since acquired a nice collection. I submit this list in hopes that it may help someone else on their journey.

Tsuri.

The Polyvagal Theory

Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions. Attachment. Communication. and Self-regulation

Stephen W. Porges

ISBN 9780393707007 2011 W. W. Norton & Company

A collection of groundbreaking research by a leading figure in neuroscience.

Mad In America

Bad Science. Bad Medicine. And The Enduring Mistreatment Of The Mentally Ill

Robert Whitaker. Bob Whitaker

ISBN 9780738203850 2002 Basic Books

"Based on exhaustive research culled from old patient medical records. historical accounts. numerous interviews. and hundreds of government documents. Mad in America at last gives voice to generations of patients. demonstrating how the cures"" for severe mental illness have regularly served to deepen their suffering and impair their hope of recovery.""--BOOK JACKET."

The Pattern Seekers

How Autism Drives Human Invention

Simon Baron-Cohen

ISBN 9781541647145 2020 Basic Books

"In The Pattern Seekers. Simon Baron-Cohen reveals the surprising answer to two apparently distinct questions: Why are humans so inventive? And why does autism exist? The first question hangs over almost every human endeavor: Business people want to know how to innovate. Cognitive psychologists want to understand the nature of creativity. Evolutionary scientists and comparative psychologists want to understand why we are capable of such cultural complexity and diversity. when other animals. at best. have learned how to use a rock as a simple tool. At the same time. the study of autism has become a preeminent concern among overlapping groups. from educators to scientists to business people and parents -- and of course to people with autism themselves. In The Pattern Seekers. Simon Baron-Cohen argues these two questions are actually the same: understanding autism -- specifically the fixation on patterns that is considered characteristic of the condition -- is the key to understanding both the ancient origins and the modern flowering of human creativity. With a perspective that spans the first stirrings of our ancestors on the African Savannah to the corridors of high-tech companies. Baron-Cohen shows how what he calls systemizing underlies everything from the invention of the first musical instrument to the innovative output of Thomas Edison and Nikola Tesla. Bolstering his argument with a range of fascinating case studies-including the way Kobe Bryant plays basketball and the piano. the prevalence of autism in various Dutch cities. and how chimpanzees learned to use grass to catch termites -- he describes how a passion for pattern-finding is at the heart of modern science and technology. But such powers come at a cost: The better one is at it. the less empathy one has for others. making social functioning difficult. And although it might be fashionable in some circles to talk about being on the spectrum."" many seek a cure for autism. and the world still struggles to accept and accommodate the autistic. So. even as Baron-Cohen seeks to understand what autism ""is for."" he seeks to change the way our society thinks about and behaves toward autistic people. As Baron-Cohen puts it. the critical role of autistic traits in our species' past means it's not simply time to tolerate autism or celebrate neurodiversity. but that it's time to show autistic people the highest respect. The Pattern Seekers is the rarest of books: mission-driven psychology combined with groundbreaking evolutionary science. It is necessary and joyful reading for anyone concerned with how our society treats those it calls disordered. and the beginning of a new chapter in how we investigate ourselves as a species""--"

Catatonia. Shutdown and Breakdown in Autism

A Psycho-Ecological Approach

Amitta Shah

ISBN 9781785922497 2019 Jessica Kingsley Publishers

Based on Dr Amitta Shah's 35 years of clinical and research experience. this practical book shows how to recognise and diagnose catatonia in people with autism. Written for professionals. friends and family. it gives a brand new psychological approach to support individuals with autism who have mild to moderate catatonia.

The Book of Woe

the DSM and the unmaking of psychiatry

Gary Greenberg

ISBN 9781922247056 2013 Scribe UK

A riveting exposé of the psychiatric profession’s bible that reveals the deeply flawed process by which mental disorders are invented and uninvented — and how suffering has been turned into a commodity. Since its first edition in 1952. the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) has been regarded as the leading authority on mental-health diagnosis and research. But throughout the DSM’s various iterations. debate has raged over which psychological problems constitute mental illness — homosexuality. for instance. was included until 1973. with Asperger’s gaining recognition in 1994. only to see its status challenged nearly 20 years later. By examining the history of the DSM and the controversies over its latest revisions. psychotherapist Gary Greenberg challenges the status quo of modern psychiatric practice. he shows how difficult — even impossible — it is to rigorously differentiate mental illness from everyday suffering; and he sheds light on how the politics behind mental-health classification has caused diagnosis rates of autism. attention- deficit hyperactivity disorder. and bipolar disorder to skyrocket. Drawing on interviews with people on all sides of the debate. on historical examples. and on case studies from his own practice. Greenberg ultimately argues for a more humanistic approach to psychiatry. A combination of lively reportage and biting analysis. The Book of Woe will prove invaluable for expert and casual readers alike.

Mindblindness

An Essay on Autism and Theory of Mind

Simon Baron-Cohen

ISBN 9780262023849 1995 The MIT Press

"In Mindblindness Simon Baron-Cohen presents a model of the evolution and development of ""mindreading."" He argues that we mindread all the time. effortlessly. automatically. and mostly unconsciously. It is the natural way in which we interpret. predict. and participate in social behavior and communication. We ascribe mental states to people: states such as thoughts desires. knowledge. and intentions. Building on many years of research. Baron-Cohen concludes that children with autism suffer from ""mindblindness"" as a result of a selective impairment in mindreading. For these children the world is essentially devoid of mental things. Baron-Cohen develops a theory that draws on data from comparative psychology. from developmental psychology. and from neuropsychology. He argues that specific neurocognitive mechanisms have evolved that allow us to mindread. to make sense of actions. to interpret gazes as meaningful. and to decode ""the language of the eyes."""

The Essential Difference

The Truth About The Male And Female Brain

Simon Baron-Cohen

ISBN 9780738208442 2003 Basic Books

Draws on the author's experience in clinical practice to identify a basic. biological difference in male and female psychology. and presents evidence on gender-based brain types.

Science and Human Transformation

Subtle Energies. Intentionality. and Consciousness

William A. Tiller

ISBN 9780964263741 1997 Pavior

Learn about the substance of your thoughts. and the power of intentionality to alter matter--Cover back

Autism Spectrum Disorders Through the Life Span

Digby Tantam

ISBN 9781843109938 2012 Jessica Kingsley Publishers Ltd

This book contains the latest research on assessment. diagnosis. treatment. intervention and support of individuals with ASD. and examines their implications at various stages of life. A wide range of neurological. genetic. psychological. developmental. social. and emotional issues are covered.

Adolescents and Adults with Autism Spectrum Disorders

Fred R. Volkmar. Brian Reichow. James McPartland

ISBN 9781493905058 2014 Springer

The research on children with autism spectrum disorders (ASD) is extensive and growing. Although these conditions are recognized as affecting the entire lifespan. the literature on ASD after childhood is limited and has not been brought together in a single volume in over a decade. Adolescents and Adults with Autism Spectrum Disorders fills this knowledge gap by focusing on needs and difficulties unique to these stages of development. Expert contributors offer cogent reviews of complex issues. from education to employment. leisure activities to illegal behaviors. mental health issues to medical health concerns. The latest findings in key areas. such as psychosocial and residential treatments. social skills programs. epidemiology. the impact of ASD on families. are examined in detail. Throughout the volume. coverage focuses on areas requiring improved models of assessment. updated data. new interventions and increased support services. Featured topics include: Transition from high school to adulthood for adolescents and young adults with ASD. Innovative programming to support college students with ASD. Romantic relationships. sexuality and ASD. Treatment of mental health comorbidities. Assessment and treatment planning in adults with ASD. The range of outcomes and challenges in middle and later life. Adolescents and Adults with Autism Spectrum Disorders is a must-have reference for a wide range of clinicians and practitioners – as well as researchers and graduate students – in clinical child. school and developmental psychology; child and adolescent psychiatry; social work; rehabilitation medicine/therapy; education and general practice/family medicine. It will also serve as an important resource for parents and caregivers with its focus on translating the current state of knowledge relevant to understanding adolescents and adults with ASD into practical and relevant recommendations on how best to support them.

What Your Child with Asperger's Wants You to Know

And How You Can Help Them

Maja Toudal

ISBN 9788799933501 2016 Maja Toudal

What Your Child With Asperger's Wants You To Know offers parents an inside perspective on their children's thoughts and emotional life. Drawing on Toudal's personal life. combined with extensive knowledge from her work with professionals and individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). this book provides a combination of general knowledge on ASD and personal insight. Throughout the book. many teenagers and adults with ASD give their unique perspective on a range of topics and everyday situations. The book is easy to read and highly accessible. which makes it an ideal introduction to the inside world of children with ASD.

Animals Make Us Human

Creating the Best Life for Animals

Temple Grandin. Catherine Johnson

ISBN 9780151014897 2009 Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

"The author of ""Animals in Translation"" employs her own experience with autism and her background as an animal scientist to show how to give animals the best and happiest life."

How to Find Work that Works for People with Asperger Syndrome

The Ultimate Guide for Getting People with Asperger Syndrome Into the Workplace (and Keeping Them There!)

Gail Hawkins

ISBN 9781843101512 2004 Jessica Kingsley Publishers

Hawkins guides readers through the process of gaining employment. from building a supportive team. addressing workplace challenges. to securing an appropriate post. The book includes practical tips on topics such as finding potential employers and creating a dazzling CV. as well as sensitive advice on assessing when somebody is ready for work.

Neurotribes

The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity

Steve Silberman

ISBN 9781583334676 2015 Avery

"A New York Times bestseller Winner of the 2015 Samuel Johnson Prize for non-fiction A groundbreaking book that upends conventional thinking about autism and suggests a broader model for acceptance. understanding. and full participation in society for people who think differently. What is autism? A lifelong disability. or a naturally occurring form of cognitive difference akin to certain forms of genius? In truth. it is all of these things and more--and the future of our society depends on our understanding it. WIRED reporter Steve Silberman unearths the secret history of autism. long suppressed by the same clinicians who became famous for discovering it. and finds surprising answers to the crucial question of why the number of diagnoses has soared in recent years. Going back to the earliest days of autism research and chronicling the brave and lonely journey of autistic people and their families through the decades. Silberman provides long-sought solutions to the autism puzzle. while mapping out a path for our society toward a more humane world in which people with learning differences and those who love them have access to the resources they need to live happier. healthier. more secure. and more meaningful lives. Along the way. he reveals the untold story of Hans Asperger. the father of Asperger's syndrome. whose ""little professors"" were targeted by the darkest social-engineering experiment in human history; exposes the covert campaign by child psychiatrist Leo Kanner to suppress knowledge of the autism spectrum for fifty years; and casts light on the growing movement of ""neurodiversity"" activists seeking respect. support. technological innovation. accommodations in the workplace and in education. and the right to self-determination for those with cognitive differences."

Thinking in Pictures

And Other Reports from My Life with Autism

Temple Grandin

ISBN 9780385477925 1995 Doubleday

"The captivating subject of Oliver Sack's ""Anthropologist on Mars. here is Temple Grandin's personal account of living with autism extraordinary gift of animal empathy has transformed her world and ours. Temple Grandin is renowned throughout the world as a designer of livestock holding equipment. Her unique empathy for animals has her to create systems which are humane and cruel free. setting the highest standards for the industry the treatment and handling of animals. She also happens to be autistic. Here. in Temple Grandin's own words. is the story what it is like to live with autism. Temple is among the few people who have broken through many the neurological impairments associated with autism. Throughout her life. she has developed unique coping strategies. including her famous ""squeeze machine."" modeled after seeing the calming effect squeeze chutes on cattle. She describes her pain isolation growing up ""different"" and her discovery visual symbols to interpret the ""ways of the natives"" ""Thinking in Pictures also gives information from the frontlines of autism. including treatment, medication and diagnosis. as well as Temple's insight into genius. savants. sensory phenomena. etc. Ultimately. it is Temple's unique ability describe the way her visual mind works and how she first made the connection between her impairment and animal temperament that is the basis of extraordinary gift and phenomenal success."

Been There. Done That. Try This!

An Aspie's Guide to Life on Earth

Tony Attwood. Craig R. Evans. Anita Lesko

ISBN 9781849059640 2014 Jessica Kingsley

The world's Aspie mentors pass on their insights for successful living! Temple Grandin. Anita Lesko, Liane Holliday Willey, Jennifer O'Toole and many others offer words of wisdom based on their own personal experiences coping with key stressors including anxiety, self-esteem, careers, friendship and love.

Anatomy of an Epidemic

Magic Bullets. Psychiatric Drugs. and the Astonishing Rise of Mental Illness in America

Robert Whitaker

ISBN 9780307452412 2010 Crown

The award-winning author of Mad in America presents a controversial assessment of the rise in mental illness-related disabilities that considers if drug-based care may be fueling illness rates throughout the past half century.

Still Distracted After All These Years

Help and Support for Older Adults with ADHD

Kathleen G. Nadeau

ISBN 9780306828911 2022 Hachette Go

A groundbreaking book on ADHD in adults over 55 by one of the foremost ADHD experts. the first guide offering practical help for older adults with or without a diagnosis We've known that ADHD affects us throughout our lives. but until now. there's been no attention paid to the needs of adults over 55. Awareness of adult ADHD exploded in the mid-1990's. but only now. in this book. is attention finally being focused on the issues faced by older adults. Kathleen Nadeau. PhD is the founder and clinical director of the largest private ADHD specialty clinic in the US. An internationally recognized thought leader in the field of ADHD. she has turned her attention to the needs of older adults. explaining how they are impacted by ADHD in retirement years and guiding them through the complicated maze in search of accurate diagnosis and effective treatment. Her focus is on the practical and the positive. tackling everything from finances. parenting. planning for retirement. social life. and work. In this book. she helps older adults with ADHD understand and make peace with their lifelong struggles. She guides the reader to find needed support. to learn how to help themselves. and to create an ADD-friendly life in retirement. Whether you suspect that you may have ADHD. have recently received a diagnosis. or were diagnosed years ago. Still Distracted After All These Years will provide you with the information you need to build a more satisfying life in your later years.

The Psychopath Test

A Journey Through the Madness Industry

Jon Ronson

ISBN 9781594488016 2011 Riverhead Hardcover

Traces how the author's investigation into an alleged hoax unexpectedly drew him into the mental-health industry. explaining how an influential psychologist revealed the psychopathic profiles of top CEOs and politicians while imparting strategies for recognizing psychopathic behavior. By the best-selling author of The Men Who Stare at Goats. 35.000 first printing.

The Emotional Brain

The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life

Joseph E. LeDoux

ISBN 9780684803821 1996 Simon & Schuster

Examines the role that the brain's circuitry plays in the development of human emotions and responses and how this relationship needs to be understood in order to improve treatment of emotional disorders.

The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome

Tony Attwood

ISBN 9781843104957 2007 Jessica Kingsley Pub

A guide to Asperger's syndrome describes what it is and how it is diagnosed. along with information on such topics as bullying. emotions. language. movement. cognitive ability. and long-term relationships.

Asperger Syndrome

Natural Steps Toward a Better Life

Suzanne C. Lawton

ISBN 9780275991784 2007 Praeger

Details the history and treatment of Asperger Syndrome. explaining how and why natural medicine can be effective for some sufferers.

Aspergers in Love

Couple Relationships and Family Affairs

Maxine C. Aston

ISBN 9781843101154 2003 Jessica Kingsley Publishers Ltd

Comparing both AS and non-AS partners' viewpoints. this book frankly examines the aspects of relationships that are often complicated by the disorder. With all findings illustrated with case examples taken from interviews conducted with couples. the author tackles issues such as attraction. trust. communication. sex and intimacy. and parenting.

Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety

A Guide to Successful Stress Management

Nick Dubin

ISBN 9781843108955 2009 Jessica Kingsley Publishers

Many people have feelings of stress and anxiety in their everyday lives. For people with Aspergers Syndrome this stress can be difficult to manage.This book is specifically written for adults with Aspergers Syndrome offers practical advice on how to better manage the stress in their lives.

The Other Half of Asperger Syndrome

A Guide to Living in an Intimate Relationship with a Partner who Has Asperger Syndrome

Maxine C. Aston

ISBN 9781931282048 2001 Autism Asperger Publishing Company

"Based on academic research. experiences as a counselor specializing in this area and personal relationship experiences. the author uses quotations and real-life examples to illustrate her points with a compassionate understanding. Practical everyday topics include living and coping with AS. anger and AS. getting the message across. sex and AS. parenting. staying together. and ""AS cannot be blamed for everything."""

Animals in Translation

Using the Mysteries of Autism to Decode Animal Behavior

Temple Grandin. Catherine Johnson

ISBN 9780743247696 2004 Scribner

An animal scientist draws on her experience as an autistic to identify commonalities between animals and autistics. offering insight into how animals process sensory information and how they often possess unrecognized savant-level talents.

All Cats Are on the Autism Spectrum

Kathy Hoopmann

ISBN 9781787754713 2020 Jessica Kingsley Publishers

Brand new update to the bestselling All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome. with all-new images of cats and updated language and terminology throughout. It provides a gentle. engaging introduction to the world of autism. demonstrating the individuality and potential of autistic people. Ideal for adults and children alike.

All Dogs Have ADHD

Kathy Hoopmann

ISBN 9781787756601 2020 Jessica Kingsley Publishers

This revised edition of All Dogs Have ADHD takes an inspiring and affectionate look at Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). featuring all-new images from the canine world. These charming photographs bring to life a variety of traits that will be instantly recognisable to individuals with ADHD. including being restless and excitable. easily distracted and acting on impulse. This book reflects the difficulties and joys of raising a child with ADHD with humour and understanding. celebrating what it means to be considered 'different'--Page 4 of cover.

Envisioning a Bright Future

Interventions that Work for Children and Adults with Autism Spectrum Disorders

Patricia S. Lemer

ISBN 9780929780177 2008 Optometric Extension Program Fndtn

Are you . . . a PARENT searching for the right interventions for your child? . . . a PROFESSIONAL looking to enhance your treatments?. . .an EDUCATOR exploring innovative ideas for the classroom?. . .an ADULT trying to regain your health? Then this is the ONLY guide to autism. ADD and learning disabilities you need to . . . Discover how load factors accumulate and trigger symptoms; Learn about the role of vision and visual issues in ASD; Find out why a diagnosis doesn't determine treatment; Regain hope and optimism for your children and students! Editor Patricia S. Lemer is Co-founder and Executive Director of Developmental Delay Resources (DDR). She is a nationally certified counselor and has worked as an advocate for children with autism and related disorders for 40 years. Includes contributions from more than 20 authors.

Handbook of Autism and Pervasive Developmental Disorders. Volume 1

Diagnosis. Development. and Brain Mechanisms

Fred R. Volkmar. Sally J. Rogers. Rhea Paul. Kevin A. Pelphrey

ISBN 9781118107027 2014 Wiley

The newest edition of the most comprehensive handbook on autism and related disorders Since the original edition was first published more than a quarter of a century ago. The Handbook of Autism and Pervasive Developmental Disorders. Volume 1: Diagnosis. Development. and Brain Mechanisms. has been the most influential reference work in the field of autism and related conditions. The new. updated Fourth Edition takes into account the changes in the disorders' definitions in the DSM-V and ICD-10 that may have profound implications for diagnosis and. by extension. access to services. Along with providing practical clinical advice--including the role of psychopharmacology in treatment—the handbook codifies the ever-expanding current body of research throughout both volumes . offering a wealth of information on the epidemiology of autism and the genetic. environmental. biochemical. social. and neuropathological aspects of the disorder. Volume 1 includes: Information on outcomes in adults with autism spectrum disorders A range of issues and interventions important from infancy. though adolescence and beyond for individuals with autism spectrum disorders Current information about play development. including skills. object play. and interventions Coverage of the state of genetic. biochemical. and neuropathological autism research Chapters on psychopharmacology and medical care in autism and related conditions The new edition includes the relevant updates to help readers stay abreast of the state of this rapidly evolving field and gives them a guide to separate the wheat from the chaff as information about autism proliferates.

Handbook of Autism and Pervasive Developmental Disorders. Volume 2

Assessment. Interventions. and Policy

Fred R. Volkmar. Sally J. Rogers. Rhea Paul. Kevin A. Pelphrey

ISBN 9781118107034 2014 Wiley

The latest and most comprehensive resource on autism and related disorders Since the original edition was first published more than a quarter-century ago. The Handbook of Autism and Pervasive Developmental Disorders has been the most influential reference work in the field. Volume 2 of this comprehensive work includes a wealth of information from the experts in their respective specialities within the larger field of autism studies: Assessment. Interventions. and Social Policy Perspectives. Within the three sections found in Volume 2. readers will find in-depth treatment of: Screening for autism in young children; diagnostic instruments in autism spectrum disorders (ASD); clinical evaluation in multidisciplinary settings; assessing communications in ASD; and behavioral assessment of individuals with autism. including current practice and future directions Interventions for infants and toddlers at risk; comprehensive treatment models for children and youth with ASD; targeted interventions for social communication symptoms in preschoolers with ASD; augmentative and alternative communication; interventions for challenging behaviors; supporting mainstream educational success; supporting inclusion education; promoting recreational engagement in children with ASD; social skills interventions; and employment and related services for adults with ASD Supporting adult independence in the community for individuals with high functioning ASD; supporting parents. siblings. and grandparents of people with ASD; and evidence-based psychosocial interventions for individuals with ASD Special topic coverage such as autism across cultures; autism in the courtroom; alternative treatments; teacher and professional training guidelines; economic aspects of autism; and consideration of alternative treatments The new edition includes the relevant updates to help readers stay abreast of the state of this rapidly evolving field and gives them a guide to separate the wheat from the chaff as information about autism proliferates.

The Uncharted Path

My Journey with Late-Diagnosed Autism

Rachel B. Cohen-Rottenberg

ISBN 9780984138807 2010 Rachel B. Cohen-Rottenberg

"Writer and artist Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg tells a powerful story of life, love, struggle, and joy as she discovers her place on the autism spectrum at the age of 50. The author received her bachelor's and master's degrees in English from the University of California at Berkeley. After many busy years as a technical writer and a homeschooling mother, she now lives a quiet life in rural Vermont, where she writes and publishes the blogs Journeys with Autism (journeyswithautism.com), Sojourning in the Visual World (sojournerartist.com), and Autism and Empathy (autismandempathy.com)."

The Science of Evil

On Empathy and the Origins of Cruelty

Simon Baron-Cohen

ISBN 9780465023530 2011 Basic Books

Borderline personality disorder. autism. narcissism. psychosis. Asperger's: All of these syndromes have one thing in common--lack of empathy. In some cases. this absence can be dangerous. but in others it can simply mean a different way of seeing the world. In The Science of Evil Simon Baron-Cohen. an award-winning British researcher who has investigated psychology and autism for decades. develops a new brain-based theory of human cruelty. A true psychologist. however. he examines social and environmental factors that can erode empathy. including neglect and abuse. Based largely on Baron-Cohen's own research. The Science of Evil will change the way we understand and treat human cruelty. (source: Nielsen Book Data)

Affective Neuroscience

The Foundations of Human and Animal Emotions

Jaak Panksepp

ISBN 9780195096736 1998 Oxford University Press

Some investigators have argued that emotions. especially animal emotions. are illusory concepts outside the realm of scientific inquiry. However. with advances in neurobiology and neuroscience. researchers are demonstrating that this position is wrong as they move closer to a lasting understanding of the biology and psychology of emotion. In Affective Neuroscience. Jaak Panksepp provides the most up-to-date information about the brain-operating systems that organize the fundamental emotional tendencies of all mammals. Presenting complex material in a readable manner. the book offers a comprehensive summary of the fundamental neural sources of human and animal feelings. as well as a conceptual framework for studying emotional systems of the brain. Panksepp approaches emotions from the perspective of basic emotion theory but does not fail to address the complex issues raised by constructionist approaches. These issues include relations to human consciousness and the psychiatric implications of this knowledge. The book includes chapters on sleep and arousal. pleasure and fear systems. the sources of rage and anger. and the neural control of sexuality. as well as the more subtle emotions related to maternal care. social loss. and playfulness. Representing a synthetic integration of vast amounts of neurobehavioral knowledge. including relevant neuroanatomy. neurophysiology. and neurochemistry. this book will be one of the most important contributions to understanding the biology of emotions since Darwins The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals Taking a psychobiological approach. this text argues that emotional systems in humans. as well as other animals. are combinations of innate and learned tendencies and that there are no credible ways to really separate nature and nurture.

Look Me in the Eye

My Life with Asperger's

John Elder Robison

ISBN 9780307395986 2007 Crown

"John Robison longed to connect with other people. but by the time he was a teenager. his odd habits had earned him the label ""social deviant."" No guidance came from his mother. who conversed with light fixtures. or his father. who spent evenings drunk. No wonder he gravitated to machines. which could be counted on. His savant-like ability to visualize electronic circuits landed him a gig with KISS. for whom he created their legendary fire-breathing guitars. Later. he drifted into a ""real"" job. as an engineer for a major toy company. But the higher Robison rose. the more he had to pretend to be ""normal"" and do what he simply couldn't: communicate. It was not until he was forty that an insightful therapist told him he had the form of autism called Asperger's syndrome. That understanding transformed the way Robison saw himself--and the world.--From publisher description."

[shrimpmandan]

What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

I wouldn't say it's cultural performance. More that sexual orientation has a lot of psychological components that isn't driven as strictly by biology as we think it would be. I have known gay men and straight women who have developed crushes on butch women, and straight men and gay women who have developed crushes on femboys. You could make an argument for these people being bisexual. But they often lose the attraction upon discovering the person isn't the gender they assumed them to be, or will otherwise have no interest in them outside of fantasies and one-off flings. No desire for an actual long-term relationship.

The basis for sexual orientation also varies from person to person. Some people only care about genitalia, no matter the gender of the person it's attached to. Other people are attracted to specific traits, such as a defined jawline or wide hips, which are more common in one sex but may less commonly appear in the other. For other people still, the identity is the end-all-be-all of it, regardless of sexual traits. This can be seen in gay men who are attracted to pre-transition trans men, and have zero attraction to cis women.

It's also worth noting that most other mammals have less complex brains than we do. They don't often have a defined identity. They only have genitalia to go off of; we do not. Comparing human sexual behavior to animal sexual behavior is not equivalent. It'd be like saying rape is acceptable just because animals do it, as if we as humans don't have the cognitive capacity to understand morality and empathy.

In essence, sexual orientation isn't as clear-cut as we assume, because gender and sex themselves aren't as clear-cut as we assume. That doesn't mean that someone's given orientation is fake or outdated, or that it can be changed. Just that the labels exist as a broad generalization of an individual's sexual behavior, and not a defined rule. You are trying to apply a single, universal, defined rule to how sexual orientation works, and that's an exercise in futility, because literally every single individual on earth has a slightly different sexual orientation. Again: the labels are a generalization, not a limiting factor.

[titoist]

the lengthy thing i wrote out some time ago about 'climacticness/finality' and my lack of relation to it feels like it could basically be reduced to this

thinking of my life as having periods of development is a very, very dangerous game. it feels like a natural way of framing one's process of stochastic self-refinement. but the material happenings of my life ultimately feel so constant, unchanging, conditioned by passivity & stagnation, that outside of futile charting of ephemeral emotional & mental proclivities within the confines of my own room there really feels like no metric sufficient for delineation exists. i stare at the composition of my computer in relative to the geographic orientation of my room & realize that it has occupied the same position for the last 4 years. i fearfully ask myself if anything has changed in 4 years. things must have. but then, i'm still here.

i have long ago abandoned using my mind as a metric for the simple reason that i can feasibly think of every possible change as both progress & regress. i am caught up in games of sentimentality, attempting to triangulate the meaning of every thought & action to a certain imagined trajectory. and besides, i feel like there are multiple discrete selves within me, separate cognitive frames with their own internal tints that shift. the most constructive self feels like it is hidden behind successful showcases of expression in these words, but even that is so subject to caprice, i cannot help but feel largely silent. i have no foundation for understanding what i have already achieved and what i have yet to achieve. in spring of 2022, i wrote of childish habits i felt a great need to grow out of, & now i could write of the same habits. i ask myself if i have been in suspended-animation since winter of 2021, and imagining all of those emotions ultimately losing themselves to a foundational blankness i failed to core out of myself makes me want to cry. like i somehow 'got caught' on something

i constantly oscillate between imagining myself as either having completed the project of my own being, or as not yet having had my first thought.

[elaho]

Stardew Valley MBTI x Enneagram: Haley

Following my last post about the Stardew marriage candidates and their MBTI types, I've been learning more about Enneagram, how it pairs with MBTI, and how it changes some of the typical characteristics of each type.

The Enneagram and MBTI complement each other wonderfully, providing greater depth and understanding of how a person interacts with the world [Cognitive Functions] and their motivations why [Core Desire/Core Fear].

Here are my thoughts on the MBTI and Enneagram pairs for Haley.

Haley - ESTJ 3w4: “The Professional”

“ESTJ 3w4s are ambitious people with a sprinkle of creativity. This personality type is goal-oriented and works harder than most. Because of their wing, they go about their tasks in a unique way.” - Personality Hunt

Haley’s Core Desire: To be successful and unique

The core desire of the ESTJ 3w4 is to be successful, using their wing to create a unique path for themselves.

Haley's desire for success isn't stated outright, but her actions and the dialogue about her in-game indicate that she's looking to achieve a certain level of 'societal success'.

However, she doesn't want to 'succeed' in the traditional way of actively working to gain success. Instead, she wants her own success to be achieved for her 'uniqueness'. By channelling her efforts into cultivating and maintaining her physical beauty, she aims to become the perfect trophy wife for someone rich and live a lavish life of luxury.

"Emily's friend had this swimsuit shipped to me from all the way out in Zuzu City. City fashion is on a whole different level, isn't it?"

"Laying out on a tropical beach.*sigh* I think I've finally found my place in the universe."

"This town is so small. It sucks. I have to drive, like, twenty miles to buy any decent clothes. That's why I usually just order online."

"I've decided I am going to organize my clothes today. I'll have to throw out all of last year's styles to make room for the new ones!"

“I wish Haley would get a job or at least contribute to cooking and cleaning. I think she's hoping to marry someone rich.”

Haley’s Core Fear: To be a failure or seen as a failure

The core fear of the ESTJ 3w4 is to be a failure or be seen as a failure, even if they know they aren't. Appearances matter a lot to 3w4s, both in how they see themselves and how they're viewed by others. However, Haley's desire for success goes beyond simple ambition. She seems obsessed with maintaining a flawless standard of beauty: perfectly tan skin, skin-kissed blonde hair, the latest fashion trends, flawless makeup and accessorizing, etc., Whom she associates with is also an important factor in appearing successful, such as having the 'perfect boyfriend' [Alex] and distancing herself from her 'weird' sister and others in her community.

Her behaviour leads many to believe she's just a spoiled brat who was babied by her parents, but in reality, Haley is afraid of failure; deep down she thinks she isn't good enough.

So to ease her own fears and insecurities, she tries to keep up with the impossible beauty standards she imposes on herself and hyper-focuses on how she is perceived by others who have, [in her eyes], achieved success.

Her pride prevents her from being honest with herself and accepting criticism from others when it matters.

“She should take the 'high road'? What's that supposed to mean? You think I'm being a baby, huh?”

“I'll be fine on my own...Thanks for the memories. Why are you still clinging to me? Go live your own life.”

“Haley is too proud to be heartbroken over the divorce... Or at least to show it.”

"My sister is so weird. Sometimes I wonder if we're actually related."

"I'm feeling an urge to go shopping. Ugh! I wish there was a mall here."

"…Well, I guess I used to like Alex. But not anymore! He's immature."

"I've never been to the forest. It's muddy and I could get a blister on my foot."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

How Enneagram 3w4 changes typical ESTJ behaviour:

New Strengths

1. Less Extroverted

"ESTJ are already introverted extroverts. The spectrum shifts even more with ESTJ 3w4s. Because of their wing, this personality type will crave alone time and autonomy.

So, expect them to be less social than typical ESTJs. It also means there’s a constant battle between type 3 and type 4 regarding human interaction.

The extent to which this applies depends on the strength of their wing." - Personality Hunt

Examples:

“Um... Yes? I didn't hear you, I'm thinking about something else.”

“Haley is ignoring you.”

“*sigh*...what do you think I should do today? I'll probably take a nap later.”

"I spent 3 hours practicing my signature today. I guess that's pretty silly, huh?"

"The only good thing about winter is that I get to sleep more. I like at least 10 hours of sleep every night."

2. More Interested in Fashion

Type 3s care about outward appearances and type 4s care about being unique, so it makes sense that ESTJs would be more interested in fashion.

Combined with their exceptional cognitive skills at strategizing [Te] and ability to maintain standards [Si], the primary goal of the ESTJ 3w4 is to create a lasting impression with their fashion sense.

Examples:

“Hmm... If it weren't for those horrendous clothes you might actually be cute.”

“Do you wear those clothes every day?”

"I'm going to start writing a list of all the clothes I need for next spring."

"I think I'm starting to realize that clothes aren't the most important thing. Right? I still like clothes, though. I mean, what's wrong with expressing yourself a little?"

3. More Creative

ESTJs are very pragmatic people who look to achieve tangible results in their daily lives. However, the ESTJ 3w4 is slightly different. Their enneagram makes them more creative and future-oriented than typical ESTJs.

As a result, they often have a good idea of what they want their near future to look like and infuse more art and creativity into their goals and lifestyle.

Examples:

“My name means 'field of hay', but I like to imagine it as a meadow full of sunflowers..."

“Wow, look at how the sunlight sparkles on the horizon! I bet the sunsets here would make for an amazing photo. I have to remember to bring my camera next time.”

"I felt like I had no direction in life before I met you. Now I have exactly what I want."

"We've got to make sure the farm is cute! That might be important… right, honey?"

“I cooked dinner last night. It actually turned out okay! But I did make a huge mess in the kitchen..."

"Hi, honey. Hey... I have an idea... I want to get everyone together for a charity cake-walk. Uh... It's kind of like musical chairs, but everyone wins and gets cake! You'll see...”

4. Status Conscious

"Type 3 is overly interested in what people think of them or how they’re perceived. This interest drives them to preserve their self-image. It also goes side by side with their need to look fashionable.

This has its advantages. ESTJ 3w4s are more likely to be noticed first. This can aid their careers." - Personality Hunt

Examples:

“Emily's friend had this swimsuit shipped to me from all the way out in Zuzu City. City fashion is on a whole different level, isn't it?

"This town is so small. It sucks. I have to drive, like, twenty miles to buy any decent clothes. That's why I usually just order online. What?”

“Hmm. What brand is your shirt? Oh. Um, never mind.”

"You got Haley to marry you, huh? I always figured she was out of your league!"

"I'll admit… I was a little jealous when you and Haley got married."

5. More Sensitive

ESTJs aren't known for being sensitive. They are Thinkers first and foremost, making them less sensitive to emotions and feelings [of others and their own]. Using logical reasoning, they prefer to communicate in a straightforward, matter-of-fact way that can often make them overly blunt, tactless, or dismissive.

ESTJ 3w4s are different. While they retain their inner logic, they are much more tactful and emotionally aware than typical ESTJs.

Once she connects more to her Introverted Feeling [Fi], Haley begins revealing the more sensitive, thoughtful, and empathetic part of herself. However, ESTJs tend to be very private about their innermost feelings and desires, so they only open up to people they are close to and trust.

Examples:

“Did you see last night's episode of 'Tears'? *sob*... I can't believe Kyle and Amy broke up...”

“Yesterday I found a seagull with her wing caught in a net. I set her free, of course. She looked so helpless, the poor thing.”

“...Maybe [my great-grandma’s bracelet will] wash up on another shore. I can't bear to think of it at the bottom of the ocean.”

“Fall is kind of sad for me... everything is dying.”

"I talked to my sister for a while last night. I actually enjoyed it quite a bit. You know, Emily's not actually that weird. I guess we have more in common than I used to think. Don't tell her I said so."

New Weaknesses

1. Can be Self Absorbed

"[Being an ESTJ type 3 with a] type 4 as a wing comes some weaknesses. One of them is the tendency to become self-absorbed. When stressed or unhealthy, ESTJ 3w4s might become wrapped in their bubble.

During these periods, they might become hypersensitive to any situation they find themselves. It can make them feel really special or cursed. Regardless of how they feel, it can make their loved ones feel like outsiders." - Personality Hunt

Examples:

“I feel the urge to go shopping. *sigh*”

“Your name is Farmer, right? I keep forgetting.”

"I wish someone would bring me a peppermint coffee. Don't even bother, I know you won't be able to make one."

[Spouse Flower Dance Accept] "*sigh*… My days of being Flower Queen are over… so it's a bittersweet dance for me."

"*sigh* I could really go for a cupcake right now. Do you need something?"

"I'm feeling an urge to go shopping. Ugh! I wish there was a mall here."

2. Competitive Streak

Type 3s are competitive people and while this can be admirable, it can also get out of hand. Combined with Haley's desire to be unique, her competitiveness comes out when comparing herself to the farmer, especially in the beginning of their relationship.

She constantly critiques the farmer's choice of clothes, profession, and even their smell. She is especially ruthless towards the female farmer, implying that Haley views her as competition.

Examples:

“Nice shoes. Are those made out of plastic?”

“Nice makeup. Or wait... Are you even wearing any?”

“Hmm... If it weren't for those horrendous clothes you might actually be pretty... Actually, never mind.”

"Don't you get tired of running around on that farm all day, or whatever it is you do? I couldn't stand getting all dirty like that. You probably get a nice tan, though."

“Getting the perfect tan is an art form...It's kind of like toasting a marshmallow... you have to rotate the body just right.”

"Ew, you're all dirty."

"Do you wear those clothes every day?"

"Hmm… Something smells weird…You've been working on the farm, huh?"

3. Excessive Focus on Self Image

"As stated earlier, self-image is important to ESTJ 3w4s for good reasons. However, when this is taken too far, it can cause problems.

This personality type can become too focused on self-image that they prioritize over anything else.

Thus, they may have fake lives and lie to seem more appealing. This can affect their personal relationships. ESTJ 3w4s need to sort out what’s most important." - Personality Hunt

Examples:

"Maybe I'll donate some of my skirts to a charity this spring. I mean, I do have over 1,000 skirts."

“Is that a grass stain on your knee? Sorry, I'm allergic to grass.”

“I've never been to the forest. It's muddy and I could get a blister on my foot.”

“My sister is so weird. Sometimes I wonder if we're actually related.”

4. Eternal Battle for Self-Identity

The conflict between type 3's need for image preservation and networking and type 4's need for independence can create a life-long inner battle for the ESTJ 3w4.

This can lead the ESTJ to wear facades for long periods, and if left for too long, cause them to lose sight of their core values and what they really want in life [especially if they get disconnected from their Fi]. In extreme cases, ESTJ 3w4s can spend their entire lives trying to discover who they really are.

Examples:

“I need to find some kind of hobby other than shopping. I've decided I want to expand my horizons. Maybe I should learn to play the mini-harp?”

"Shopping just doesn't sound as fun as it used to. What's happening to me? Hmm..."

“I should start reading some books instead of magazines. It's good to learn things, isn't it? I only ever look at the pictures.”

“I never thought I'd say this, but the country lifestyle really suits me.”

------------------------------------------------------------------

Conclusion

Haley is one of those characters that, whether players love her or hate her, has more going on than what first impressions imply. We're first introduced to her as a mean, shallow, self-absorbed, spoiled brat of a 'princess' who only seems to care about her tan lines and when her next shopping trip will be.

However, once we get past her 'mean girl' facade, we see someone deeply afraid of failure or being labelled a failure. As a result, because she tries so hard to keep up with trends and outward indicators of 'success', Haley doesn't really know who she is and what she wants out of life.

Her friendship with the farmer helps her to get more in touch with her Introverted Feeling [Fi], her weakest function as an ESTJ. Once she does, she begins to define for herself what it truly means to be successful, regardless of external standards or expectations.

She starts to find meaning and purpose in embracing nature, getting into photography, and helping others in her community. She even organizes an entire charity event by herself, infusing her creativity and passion for cake into the event to raise money for Jas’ and Vincent’s education.

"Hey! Oh, good, you brought the cake!.. It's a pretty good turnout [for the charity cake walk], huh? Thanks everyone for joining in. We raised over 5,000g!... It was a big success! Thanks for helping out, honey.”

She comes to cherish the town she was once so desperate to escape from to be successful, and instead, finds meaning, value, and joy in being a part of her tight-knit farming community.

"I used to complain about this town being so small, but I've grown to like it. If it was much bigger it wouldn't feel like a community."

"I felt like I had no direction in life before I met you. Now I have exactly what I want."

Do you agree that Haley is an ESTJ 3w4? If not, what type do you think she is? Let me know your thoughts in the comments :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------- References:

Personality Hunt: ESTJ 3w4 - The Complete Guide