#“Yes. It'll be a natural birth.”

[a-bit-of-cest]

I just think they're neat. :}

[mintmatcha]

The program continues to roll. Shouto -fucking IcyHot- is waving to the camera with a surprisingly un-awkward smile. He looks natural, calm, humble and it makes Bakugo curse out loud. He's been media trained since practically birth; it's an unfair fucking advantage-

"Congratulations, 'tsuki."

For once, Bakugo hears you coming. Your heels hit the linoleum, one foot after the other, tapping down the hall like you're begging to be noticed. Maybe you are. The neckline of your dress hangs low enough he can see the puckered skin of your scar, hidden between the valley of your breasts. He hopes you don't notice him staring, but he knows you do. At least now he knows you were telling the truth about something.

"Yeah. Congratu-fucking-lations."

You cock your head like a dog, feigning innocence. In your hands in an unopened bottle of champagne, foil wrapped, just like you in your golden dress.

"Thirteenth is an improvement." Your smile with your teeth. "Next year, we'll go for their throats and hit tenth."

He believes it. Frankly, he's a little worried that you'll actually tear out Fatgum's throat along the way. Bakugo leans back against his desk with a huff.

"Whatever. Rankings don't matter."

"Wait until you see your pay increase." You outstretch your arm with the champagne. "Hold this. Stand at your desk."

He takes the bottle and gets into position. One leg cocked over the other, head tilted, arm up for you to slip under: he watches you set up your little camera stand and waits for you to hit the timer.

But you stay behind the camera.

"Put your arm down. Looks bad."

Bakugo listens. The flash goes off twice, then you hum a noise he isn't sure is pleased or sour.

"You ain't getting in the picture?" he asks. You snap a couple more, all big bright flashes.

"I can if you want me to."

It feels like a trick. You're luring him into some sort of trap, just like you always do. If he was smart, he'd just say silent, let you get your little photographs and then dip-

"Take your heels off," he says, jerking his head over. "Makes me look short."

The unwavering smile changes a bit as you slip your foot out of your shoe. You stick your phone to the wall, just the right height to make Bakugo look taller than he is, just like he likes it. The phone flashes once as you slink over, then again as you tuck yourself under his arm. Each picture leaves you back-lit. Your features blur out of focus, with this silver halo around your silhouette.

Bakugo watches his reflection on the tiny screen as you adjust him. In the phone, you're perfectly visible, tangible as you fix the scene. Tilt his head, pull him down: your own face is hidden behind his, like you're sharing a secret. One hand finds his shirt fron and holds it gently, lovingly. It would look better if he was dressed up too, Bakugo thinks. Then you two would match, instead of you being dressed like some golden prize-

"Why are you fucking dressed up if it isn't for a picture?" The thought hits him.

You're so close he can feel your smile against his cheek as you whisper. "Do you like it?"

"Stop doing that shit." He reaches back and places the bottle in his desk. The camera's light flashes again. "Dodging my fucking questions all the damn time."

Your arm loops over his neck. It'll look long and dynamic in the photo, he knows it.

"I have plans tonight," you whisper.

"With Izuku?"

"No." Flash.

"Another guy?"

"Yes."

He clicks his tongue against his teeth and pulls back. It's just far enough thay he can see your face, drink in your features.

"Does he know the world thinks you're dating me?" Jealousy is irritating and irrational, especially when you're right here, close enough to claim. He could reach down and lick that scar anytime he wanted to, he knows that-

Flash.

Your lips are painted dark, dramatic. They make your smile feel forced. "It's why he wants me back."

When did his hand find your waist? When did yours find his cheek, thumb pulling over his scar? The camera flashes again.

"People always want what they can't have."

That's such bullshit. He wants you more than anything and he could have you at any moment-

Flash. The camera catches he moment he breaks. His lips press against yours, not in the passionate fury he always thought would happen, but a soft, fleeting touch. Your breath contains more pressure than your skin and he almost thinks you're disappearing from under him, running away-

Flash.

Your lips are parted and your tongue is against his, hot, searing, desperate-

Flash.

He thinks your lips have touched every inch of his skin, down his neck, into the collar of his shirt-

Flash.

His hands are bunching your dress up and he's unsurprised to find nothing underneath-

Flash.

Oh, he's not in frame anymore. You're both on the ground, tangled, touching, groping. He's liking that damn scar and you're keening and twisting and cumming-

[mystic-scorpio]

THINGS I THINK YOU NEED TO HEAR

[ based on your 𝔟𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔨 𝔪𝔬𝔬𝔫 𝔩𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔥 placement]

𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷

𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷

[copyrights reserved ©️mystic-scorpio]

𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷

How to find your 𝔩𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔭𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔢𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱 ?

- Enter your birth data in the link give below:

𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷

𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷

♈︎ 𝔩𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔥 in 𝔸ℝ𝕀𝔼𝕊

You're ambitious, both in professional and personal life. You want to win. It's absolutely okay to be aggressive sometimes in order to achieve success. It's OKAY to show some teeth sometimes. You deserve to get what you want, don't be guilty for it!

Leave the guilt for them losers.

𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷

♉︎ 𝔩𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔥 in 𝕋𝔸𝕌ℝ𝕌𝕊

You should pamper yourself more often.

No seriously, go enjoy a bubble bath, treat yourself to delicious food, cuddle up in a blanket or have a date night with your boo.

The Taurus in you craves a bit of love, romance and delight, give in to those cravings.

𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷

♊︎ 𝔩𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔥 in 𝔾𝔼𝕄𝕀ℕ𝕀

In your love life, you're looking for your other half but you're also very flirtatious . Make sure you are acting authentically in love.

Gemini is the chattiest zodiac but if your Lilith is in this sign, there's a chance that your hiding something or you're not letting something out.

Let it out!

𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷

♋︎ 𝔩𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔥 in ℂ𝔸ℕℂ𝔼ℝ

You need to love yourself as much as you love people around you. Don't give all your time, attention and energy to your loved ones, save some for yourself! Trust me, that doesn't make you selfish.

Also I feel like there is a lack of creative expression. I recommend going to your nearest drink and paint classes and let the colours and emotions flow~

I promise it'll be rejuvenating!

𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷

♌︎ 𝔩𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔥 in 𝕃𝔼𝕆

You are braver, stronger and more fabulous than you think you are!

I feel like you've been hated for expressing yourself at one point in your life, be it for gender expression, coming out or just embracing a new sense of style. Those people who gave you a hard time are just jealous, don't let them affect you.

You are fabulous, my love<3

𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷

♍︎ 𝔩𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔥 in 𝕍𝕀ℝ𝔾𝕆

Okay this gon' sound funny but, don't try too hard to be chill.

Yes, I feel like you need a lot of structure and order in your life and somewhere your not doing it just to appear chill, you know?

You NEED to take care of your mental and emotional well being. Procrastinating is just gonna make shit harder.

If you're life requires structure, give it that!

𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷

♎︎ 𝔩𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔥 in 𝕃𝕀𝔹ℝ𝔸

Hey you.

Yes you.

You're worth EVERYTHING, kindly embrace that shit.

Go out there, ask for a raise, go out on a date , demand a glamorous birthday party for yourself. You're totally worth it.

You don't realise how much people around you love you and it's time you start celebrating yourself just as much.

𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷

♏︎ 𝔩𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔥 in 𝕊ℂ𝕆ℝℙ𝕀𝕆

The moment you hear "scorpio", you know it gon' be about sex.

But it's kinda different for Lilith in Scorpio.

You need to embrace your true sexuality. Ensure that your getting what you want in bed, whether it be handcuffs and leashes OR complete asexuality.

For you, sexuality= spirituality

Therefore it's not selfish to be honest about your sexual nature. In fact, it's important to BE HONEST about it.

You also need a lot of privacy so allow yourself your secrets.

𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷

♐︎ 𝔩𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔥 in 𝕊𝔸𝔾𝕀𝕋𝕋𝔸ℝ𝕀𝕌𝕊

You NEED to keep expanding your knowledge and intellectual exposure, whether it be through a hobby, a kink or by some adventure or travel.

This placement requires that intellectual stimulation that you have to actively provide.

Oh yes, don't be afraid to dominate conversations in a group setting.

𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷

♑︎ 𝔩𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔥 in ℂ𝔸ℙℝ𝕀ℂ𝕆ℝℕ

We all know you like to work hard.

What we don't know is you like to party harder!

So give yourself that stimulation. Get your work done on time and then sit back and ENJOY your life. That way you'll enjoy as well as get everything done! It'll keep you motivated and happy.

𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷

♒︎ 𝔩𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔥 in 𝔸ℚ𝕌𝔸ℝ𝕀𝕌𝕊

You can change the world if you want to.

You just have it in you to fight for humanitarian causes. People will listen to you, you just need to speak up for what you stand for.

There's a chance you're not giving yourself the independence and alone time you deserve. Even in a relationship you might need to set boundaries.

𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷

♓︎ 𝔩𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔥 in ℙ𝕀𝕊ℂ𝔼𝕊

YOU DONT EVEN REALISE WHAT A BLESSING YOUR CREATIVITY IS?

Seriously, you've been putting your passion projects on halt just to be "responsible". Even when these passions make you happy?

Secondly, you are likely to want a spiritual connection with your romantic partner even if it's casual, so make sure you follow your heart rather than people's expectations on who YOU should date.

𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷

A/N: that's it for this blog, see you in the next!

[ishaslife]

Astarion has been breaking my poor heart.

This post will contain spoilers for the game and Astarion's romance/backstory. Before anyone comes at me, I want to say that you are the main character, you are supposed to change the fates and behaviours of your characters, especially if you are romancing them. It's a video game, that's kind of the point.

This post is extremely long and I apologise.

This analysis is based off my playthrough.

(*) means check notes at the bottom of the post.

I wasn't expecting to like him as much as I do. Don't get me wrong, I really liked him during EA and I thought he was funny, charming, flirty with a dark past and all that was just a means to cover his trauma but since the full game has come out and we've gotten to know more of him, it truly breaks my heart to see and know what he has been through. My sister and I were watching his reactions to be being rejected, being told that Tav only wants sex and forcing him to do things he doesn't want to do, it is truly heart-wrenching.

Many people expected Astarion to be this "I am so sexual and my romance will mostly be sex, also I will betray you the first chance I get." and it couldn't be further from the truth. Astarion is extremely loyal, and yes he has that air of flambouncy to him, will often make japes and say evil things but most of the time, it is just a facade. It's his shield in a way, he has been treated with utter cruelty for two hundred years of his life and now that he finally has some control over himself, he doesn't wish to be hurt again.

I don't think Astarion is ever completely evil, even in the beginning. He just wants to have fun and enjoy life after so many years of slavery. He likes it when you are snarky, say mean shit to people for fun but, he doesn't like to see innocents get hurt, and he doesn't support fighting for people who don't fight for themselves. Yes, he will support some of your evil decisions but they will lead to a bad ending, for you and your characters. It'll make Astarion wallow more in his greed and he'll lose the little humanity he has left. He doesn't really have a clear sense of direction in the beginning of the game as he's just found freedom and obviously wants to live life to the fullest, being evil comes naturally to him, it's instinct as its what he's been doing for two centuries.

This is my assumption since we don't know his actual age but since he's an elf who was well-respected in society, had a pretty prestigious job and was rich enough to be corrupt. I'd assume he was at least 70-100 years old before he was turned into a spawn. (EDIT - in a recent post by @deluxetrashqueen I saw the translation of the dates of birth and death on his tombstone:

"Astarion Ancunin

229-268 DR" to which he adds, "458DR - "

which shows that he was only 39 at the time of his death, which explains his emotional immaturity for an elf.) My point being, I believe he has been a spawn for longer than he's ever been a regular person. He has spent the longer part of his life doing evil things for an evil man, that was what his life was on a daily basis with Cazador. And his former work experience probably helped, he likely learnt pretty quick how much he took for granted as a living person and the harshness of his master, peers and people he seduced made him harsh and unforgiving in return.

Once you start getting close to him, you start to learn that he is only mean to people because of how life has treated him. In his romance, he says "no one ever looked out for me, no one ever said a kind word to me. You're the only one, no one is like that." Astarion starts to see, because of you that there is kindness in the world, and he finds kindness in you. Especially after his quest, as much as he'd hate to admit it, he also sees friends in your other companions as they do in him. By the end of Act 2, he starts to get more soft towards you and the decisions you make, often even disapproving of evil decisions. People often tend to forget that a lot of Astarion's evil personality is a front, it is not who he truly is.

These points will be better explained individually so I will talk about some themes.

Power: power plays a big part in his entire storyline. In the beginning, he wants to harness the powers of the tadpole to become powerful and at first, you think that it's simply because he's an evil character and he wants power for the sake of having it. Then later, he wishes to take over the power of the ascendant but mostly only to spite Cazador and take something important from him, not fully realising the true power of the rite.

As he slowly starts opening up to you, he tells you "the mind flayers tore me from that place" and you realise that its the tadpole that let's him walk in the sun, do things a vampire or spawn would never be able to, you learn that he hates being a vampire because he can't even remember what he looks like. He seeks power outside because he has had no power over himself for about two centuries, he thinks that having this power will fulfill his needs but it won't, we know it won't because in truth he only needs to reclaim his autonomy, physical and mental. Of course Astarion would never truly admit to this for a long while, even when he's romanced. I personally really love his good romance arc where he doesn't have sex with you, not because he dislikes you or doesn't want you but because, as he says "any kind of intimacy was something I performed to lure people back for him. While I know things between us are different... being with someone still feels tainted. It brings up all those feelings of disgust and loathing." He has spent 200 years or so bowing to Cazador's whims, done things to people he didn't want to do and I assume since it's heavily hinted at, were very sexual in nature. In a relationship, he simply wants to be seen as a person and I think that's really sad because that's how low the bar is for him.

In the ending of his quest, you can persuade him and tell him that going forth with the ritual won't set him free even if he thinks it will and I agree. If he's a slave to Cazador now, later he'd be a slave to power and greed. Just look at Cazador, despite being one of the most powerful beings in existence, he still wanted more power. That kind of greed and hunger never ends and Astarion would lose himself and who he has become while he was with us. Yes, it makes him walk in the sun again and do things a regular vampire can't but at what cost? 7,000 lives and his humanity. He would never be able to enjoy this "freedom" because he'll only strive to seek more power. In his ascendant ending, he becomes everything he's ever hated about Cazador, the cycle repeats itself, from Vellioth to Cazador and from Cazador to Astarion. And it will never end. Astarion even refuses to turn you into a vampire and wishes to keep you only as a spawn. With an insight check, you can learn that he thinks you're degrading yourself and he doesn't care. He now sees you as something to own, something to possess, not love. All his good qualities, wants and needs get twisted. Astarion truly only needs to feel like a person again but he doesn't fully realise this until you show it to him, through good deeds and actions, through simple acts of kindness. As he says in his "good" ending "I've been dead in the ground enough. It's time to try living again. With all that life has to offer."

Safety: Astarion wants to feel safe. He is so scared of being found by Cazador, he knows he's looking for him and the only thing giving him some form of safety from Cazador is the tadpole so of course he wants to harness its powers that is until he finds out it'll turn him into another kind of monster, a mind flayer. He doesn't wish to lose himself and his freedom again hence is vehemently against taking on the tadpole's powers but he doesn't stop you because that is of course, your decision to make. He says "if such power would please you, darling, I won't stop you. But do be careful, I want you to remain you." Now the only thing left that can properly give him his freedom is Cazador's death and he wants to kill him himself which I think is perfectly acceptable, Cazador deserves to die and if it is by Astarion's hands, all the better. But, in his romance, he makes it clear that he's doing it for safety, and he tells himself that he wants to take the power of the rite for safety as well because in truth, he is terrified of being powerless again. He does want revenge yes, but he also wants to keep you and himself safe from Cazador, even in the dungeon, if you run an insight check, the narrator tells you that he is losing his mind because of the power that's on offer and the smell of blood in the air. It's almost as if to say "he's losing his mind, please stop him before he forgets who he is." Astarion NEEDS your guidance*, eventually he even thanks you for 'saving him from himself.' In his good ending, he sees that in taking the power, he would be no better than Cazador and would become everything he's ever hated about him, and inflict on others what his former master inflicted on him, starting with you. His ascendant ending is honestly a very sad ending for his character, all that growth, change and development you bring to him throughout your journey just gone down the drain as he becomes an unfeeling, evil, narcissistic arsehole who only craves for more power. In his good ending, he will be safe, with you and with the friends he has made along the way. He is proud of himself and so is everyone else, it offers him a kind of friendship that's afforded to very few in the D&D world, especially a vampire/spawn whose very existence is hated. It is a bond based on trust, loyalty and to a degree, even love instead of fear like in the ascendant ending.

Abandonment and Fear: Astarion is driven by fear but he also knows facing Cazador is inevitable and something he needs to face rather than avoid. Even if he isn't outright seeking it (but he does seek it) I think he is braver than he likes to think and he definitely has some anti-hero traits. He likes the tadpole because it helped him get away from Cazador's authority and he enjoys bending others to his will since it makes him feel more powerful compared to how he's felt the past two centuries. But if you choose to not do the same, he doesn't really care. He doesn't except it of you nor is he disappointed (since he neither approves or disapproves. He only disapproves helping people who didn't ask or didn't want to be helped) he only gives a snarky comment or two about what he would've done instead and follows you anyway. He realises you're a good person. If you indulge too much however, I would argue that he agrees simply because he doesn't want you to turn against him. Perhaps he believes that you can turn on him and kill him as easily as you killed the tieflings or other innocents. He probably thinks it's easier to turn a good person evil than an evil person, good (tbh he wouldn't be entirely wrong.) And making bad choices does negatively affect his character of course but I just thought I'd put that out there as I think it's very likely for him to do so. He is definitely extremely paranoid, he hardly ever says how he truly feels out loud but when you break up with him (it's so heartbreaking omg) he says "I was beginning to think someone truly wanted me. I shouldn't have deluded myself." and "From the start, I was rather counting the hours until it was going to end. Midnight chimes, eh?" As heartbreaking as it is, the latter line shows how terrified he was of being abandoned or only be used for his body, he kept obessesively worrying that Tav would leave him after he bore his heart out to them. There's another bit of dialogue in Act 1 where he is trying his lines with you to get you to sleep with him a second time and you can say no which he is fine with but if you outright reject him there, meaning "I never want to see you like that again" he gets extremely sad: "Well, excuse me while I die of a broken heart. [slight chuckle] In all honesty, it's a shame. That time was special to me. I've gotten on my back 10,000 times or more and forgotten half of them. But you, I'll remember. [long pause] Have a fine evening... dear." Mind you, this is after you've only slept with him once. His dialogue makes it seem like he was already catching feelings for you, and not realising that himself until this happens. Seeing this made me realise that you're the first person he's slept with of his own volition, even if it was to seduce you. For the longest time, I think Astarion doesn't even want to believe you'll like him as something more than someone to sleep with, he hopes you might as his rejection line says so but astarion is nothing if not careful and well, paranoid.

That's why he's so shocked when you choose to not let him bite Araj at Moonrise even if it gave you something powerful in return. He sees that you chose his comfort over a genuinely useful commodity. Biting people or using his vampire, well, anything makes him extremely uncomfortable since it reminds him of things he needed to do for Cazador. If he bites her, it makes him feel like being a slave again, but bending to your will and wishes instead of his former master's. He realises he doesn't know how to say no. Which is another thing he says if you wish to pursue only a sexual relationship with him. He feels played.

Freedom: this is probably the main theme to his character arc. He wants to be free, not only from his master but also free to make right decisions and make decisions for himself, something he hasn't been able to do for years. This is why respecting his decision to not sleep with you is important to him, he doesn't feel comfortable being physically close to someone in a sexual way as it makes him doubt the person's true intentions and feelings and of course, makes him feel loathsome and disgusted with himself. He needs that time where you just connect as people to really see that you are in fact genuine and he wouldn't be hurt if he trusted you or gave you his heart. Towards the end of the game, he is still quite ruthless, but mostly only towards people who do wrong and are criminals. Astarion has a very strong set of ideals, he believes that people who do wrong deserve to die no matter the crime. I don't think this is entirely true, every crime deserves a different punishment but most criminals, those who do severe wrong and still get away with it, do deserve to die but this is just my opinion of course. He is ruthless towards bad people because that's how people have been to him, at least Cazador and I wouldn't be surprised if he was treated badly during his sexual encounters with strangers while working for him.

Why I think the Ascendant ending is a tragic ending for Astarion's character and for you.

I won't lie, there are some aspects of ascended Astarion that are pretty hot and I'm a sucker for (pun absolutely intended) powerful, gothic vampires but this ending comes at the cost of way too much. One simply being: Astarion isn't Astarion anymore. All his snarkiness, playful nature and strange innocence is gone. In his ascendant ending, that is, when he takes the power of the Rite of Ascension for himself by carving the same rune on Cazador's back that's on his own, Astarion loses himself. In D&D lore, full vampires are unfeeling, ruthless and have all their good traits twisted into something more malignant and evil. If Astarion loved you, that love turns into possession, if he cared for you, it turns into obsession. He doesn't truly care anymore... as a vampire, he is manipulating you and telling you things you want to hear instead of what he's actually feeling. He never truly got that moment of catharsis by killing Cazador as he does in his spawn ending. That simple bliss of killing the man that enslaved him and worse all these years; he never gets to experience that because he ends up using Cazador for the same power Cazador killed Vellioth for in the past, albeit worse. It's a never-ending cycle. And if he turns you into his spawn, you will go through the same fate Astarion went through and probably turn on him the same way he turned on Cazador. He has absolutely no sympathy for you or for anyone that is not him, in fact he feels almost disgusted by you because he thinks you're degrading yourself in front of him. There is a conversation between him and if you refuse to become his spawn, and I think it sums up his character perfectly as a vampire, it goes like this:

(choosing different options will have different dialogues but they more or less lead to him saying the same thing.)

ASTARION: Just so you know, I have everything I've ever wanted. Everything lies ahead. I can see my path to a waking dream. From the Crimson Palace, I will govern day and night. Create a city of spawn who bow before me, cast a fog over the world for my children.

TAV: But the Palace halls will be lonely.

ASTARION: You'll be lonelier than I. Very soon I will discover how to call my legions of wolves, become a sea of mist, run wrongside-up on roofs. [laughs] Everything vampires do best.

You could have, too. [sniggers] What a waste.

TAV: You don't really have anything at all.

ASTARION: I can take anything I want. I should've made you a spawn just to teach you that.

And there we have it, that last bit of dialogue shows how Astarion is now everything he hated about his own master. He is Cazador's literal and spiritual successor, he thinks you need to be punished for rejecting him. He doesn't feel for you anymore, at least not in a human way. He has become someone else entirely, for the worst. His drive for taking the power of the rite was to be able to walk in the sun again but as a full vampire, he wants to "dominate it (the world) until the sun melts and give ourselves over to the night."

Astarion NEEDS change, he needs to see that the world can be a kinder place than the one he's lived in this whole time. Just a bit of care and love with him goes a long way. In his spawn ending, he comes to realise that you gave him his life back even if it was as a spawn because that is true freedom. He is free from his master, and greed & power which was in the disguise of safety. He may never be able to walk in the sun, but he is free to make his own decisions that are driven by his choices. One of them being; wanting and loving you, living a full life with you, whatever that may entail.

If you went into the game thinking that Astarion will betray you no matter what then giving him the ascendant ending brings your fears to life. Astarion doesn't learn anything, by making him a full vampire, you basically tell him that he can only be powerful and worth something if he has super vampire powers, and in turn, you lose everything too. Astarion may have gained unparralled strength but now he has no need of you, you gave him everything he wanted and nothing he needed so now he can do whatever he wants with you because you are lesser than him, literally, he is much stronger than you are and his power will only grow as he discovers more of it. He tries to manipulate you into turning you into a spawn. A dialogue being:

TAV: After everything you went through with Cazador, you're going to make me a spawn?

ASTARION: Oh that was completely different, I'd never hurt you. I love you. That's what you've been waiting to hear, isn't it? That's what you want?

Which just shows you how he's only saying "I love you" because that's what you want to hear, so you agree to becoming his spawn. He doesn't mean it, it doesn't really have any feeling behind it whatsoever. And if he turns you into a spawn, you have basically lost everything. Because he is obsessive over you, he'll never let you go and since now he is properly evil, he likely won't turn you into a vampire either, even if he says he will.

This is just my take on the ending though, I think we can all agree the ascendant ending is the evil ending for his character, even if it is an ending you prefer. I'm not trying to hate on anyone who does like this ending, only stating that I think it is meant to be evil and I personally don't like it.

CONCLUSION

Once you get to truly know Astarion, he's a pretty decent guy. I can't speak much for people who didn't romance him, I'm not entirely sure how his non-romance route plays out. The good conclusion of his quest is so wholesome, where he says he feels "truly, honestly free" and tells you "you saved me from myself. This is a gift, you know, thank you. I won't forget it." getting full circle to the first time you let him bite you (the only time in my case.) It shows so much character development and pure joy in the way he thanks you (it doesn't need to be said but props to Neil Newbon for bringing the character to life.) He will always be a spawn and yet, he feels like "anything and everything is possible" because of you and the choices you made with him, you believed in him when he didn't believe in himself, you showed him that he is enough just the way he is and he doesn't need to become a full vampire to be strong and powerful. Astarion comes out of his finale, a much more positive person, who actually cares even if he won't show it and the best part is, he always keeps that tiny streak of evil and mischief within him. He hasn't lost sight of himself, he's just less spiteful now and feels free to actually enjoy life rather than constantly being scared of what might happen to him. He finds trust and happiness in you and it makes him happy that you find the same within him. You are his home and he hopes he is yours.

I understand that my analysis may not be perfect and my interpretation of the character may be different from someone else's but that's fine, he is a video game character that can be played so many ways and people can go around it however they like, interpret his character however they wish. This is just what I think.

NOTES

'Astarion needs your guidance.' - no, this is not gaslight-y. Astarion is a deeply troubled character and clearly finds it hard to differentiate between right and wrong. He often asks for your input and what you think by Act 2 which isn't a bad thing, he's asking for help and I think that shows how far he's come. In the final scene of his quest, he is overcome by the promise of power and the safety it would've provided which would've consumed him as it did Cazador, Astarion admits to this himself too later on once he can think clearly and is in a more positive mindset. There is nothing wrong with guiding your partner towards something that will eventually be better for their growth as a person in the long run.

[ozzgin]

Chug some cherry juice, and you'll be out.

I've had crippling insomnia since birth, and cherry juice is something that helps me a lot👍

Oof, I'll give it a try, but I'm not too hopeful. I already gulp down 2-3 melatonin supplements before bed.

It's not a constant struggle per se, and I do manage to fall asleep; the problem is that I often wake up after 4 hours or so, then I struggle to go back into slumber.

It becomes noticeably difficult one week before my period or so. When I went to the doctor at the beginning of the year, I asked if severe stress, anxiety, and depression could somehow mess up my hormones and lead to sleep disturbances. (I had an exceptionally bad year)

I've been told that yes, it is highly probable, but I shouldn't expect a concrete, easy treatment for it. If it's indeed caused by hormonal imbalances, I'd need to take hormone medication, which comes with a lot of side effects in itself. She said that frankly, in her opinion, it'll go away naturally at some point. What I should do is eat healthy, exercise, and work on my mental health.

So, I basically try to follow that advice, except I occasionally slip, and the insomnia occasionally comes back. Truly maddening affair, I tell you. I'm reminded of Tim Burton's short animation, Vincent. You should check that out, by the way, it's amazing.

[trashyrosie]

Leona, talking about the fountain as he gives a tour: So, he built it when his son was born-

Yuu: So, he built what is essentially a pretty thing to look at, but he couldn't have used that money towards better things? Like putting an effort into rebuilding the slums?

Grim: Henchhuman-

Vil: Could you be any blunter, potato?

Yuu, crosses arms: What? Oh and this whole "being one with nature" thing and allowing some of the natural resources to go untapped-

Kifaji: It's because we don't want to drain the land of what they have given us-

Yuu: No one said you were draining it. Just think of a more eco-friendly way of handling things. Leona said you guys have the greatest concentration of sunlight, right? Turn that into solar energy. Convert some of the heavy smog machines into ones that run on solar.

Lilia, hums: She might have a point...

Kalim: Wow, Yuu! You're so smart!

Yuu: Thanks. On top of that, it'll create jobs for people, especially those who work in high poverty areas. You guys can still be surrounded by nature without having to sacrifice nature for it. *Sighs* I'm done, sorry for ra-

Leona: Marry me.

Yuu: You get Grim in the process if I do.

Leona: Deal.

Kifaji: My Prince!

#twisted wonderland#twst yuu#yuu homura#lilia vanrouge#twst grim#vil schoenheit#twst kifaji#kalim al asim#leona kingscholar#cloudcalling on the savanna

No but like as an economics student AND a Leona stan hearing about the way they're handling their economy in the Sunset Savanna ... was sure..... Shocking to say the least

I hope I’m not being to forward but your comment has me thinking, as an economics student how do you think they could improve their situation, what policies can they implement, I would love to hear your ideas💡please

...fam. I'm about to yammer. Also this is my favorite question ever

As an economics student and mind you I might come off as abit harsh or even cold but I want to keep things factual. I don't think the game itself even recognizes what a big of a deal it is to purposely not develop the infrastructure. Underdeveloped infrastructure is one of the things that we take in consideration wHEN MEASURING POVERTY. This is what threw me off, in a way it sounded like they were INSISTING on having poverty related issues. AND WE KNOW THE SUNSET SAVANNA HAS PEOPLE LIVING IN POVERTY. The slumps being the biggest proof.

Leona's ideas ARE actually great solutions, he's completely right in my opinion. I just I think a lot of people don't exactly understand what he means when he talks about industrialization.. And I don't blame them. I too thought industrialization is just big factories go brr pollution and that's what the game seems to be sitting up but... I'm about to "um actually 🤓☝"

So, why is industrialization the solution (that AND developing the infrastructure bECAUSE OH MY GOD people don't have basic needs like water in 2024 ..??? I don't even feel the NEED to explain why that's bad at this point oh also the renewable energy idea is just PERFECT chief kiss) .. Now industrialization doesn't mean 100% destroying the environment.. Does it have a bad effect on the environment.. Yes but it doesn't means absolute destruction of the environment especially in this case..

Think about it...if the products they should be producing depend on natural resources as their input..would they really go, is Leona really presenting that they should go and absolutely DESTROY the sources of their inputs.?, even looking at it from a greedy economical perspective it makes no sense. Also industrialization provides ✨job opportunities✨ and this is very important. Job opportunities and providing the people with income "moves" the economy and improves people's living conditions, people now can afford education and health (which we know the people of the slumps have next to no access to, Ruggie's mom died while giving birth to him and it was mentioned there's a lot of crying kids in the slumps that means women in the slumps don't have access to good healthcare for giving birth a common thing found in countries suffering from whaaat? Poverty.) Providing people with an income improves their living condition (no sh*t) and the best way to provide them with that is by providing them with jobes and yOU DO THAT THROUGH INDUSTRIALIZATION (also side not here, governments can GIVE their citizens "monthly allowances or icomes" these amounts are usually small but better than nothing .. My country is doing this as of now and it's for this exact same thing "moving the economy" aka the people selling, buying, getting married reproducing... Basically living)

Another solution I really like is tourism.. Which Leona mentioned.. twice. .. I think? Okay so they don't want to mass produce? Okie dokie. Then lean heavy into the cool epic greenery you got. A lot of countries irl do that actually and it would also provides the people with the needed jobs (I'll never stop shouting about the importance of income and job opportunities)

but this time in the tourism industry.. and the sunset Savanna really can make banks out of this that place is gorgeous and they should use their beliefs and pride in what they've got as a force to move forward not being all like "the circle of life😍"... As a justification for Underdevelopemt. I really adore the tourism solution like personally like it. I actually I'm an average environment enjoyer myself and I don't think we should destroy nature.... But mothers are dying in the slumps and children are getting no food... And we don't even NEED to destroy nature... We simply need to IMPROVE the way the economy is going NOT DESTROY IT AND CHANGE IT.. Just modernize it a bit.. A region in my country is actually doing this. Leaning heavily into the old castles and mud houses we got (we old as heck) modernizing things a bit to make it tourists friendly while also keeping our history (that I love) intact and BOOM tourists destination and more jobs for the people

in conclusion, I love this ask so much thank you so much so much so much for asking.. my field of study + my favorite lion boy. I'm on cloud nine.. Hands down made my night..i think I gave three solutions.. I'm very sorry if I didn't go in more depths or if this isn't what you wanted I'll clearly be more than happy to answer more stuff about this because I'm a giant nerd. Also I should rule the sunset Savanna. Thank you.

[moonsb1996]

How much do we trust this information?

Hello everyone, I haven't been into MHA because I'm currently hooked on Kaiju #08 (it's so much fun, I'm afraid it'll end). What I'm back with this time is my own question, and that is:

quirk singularity

From my little monkey brain diving to understand, it is a Doomsday belief of AFO's psychopathic doctor who owns this idea and it was not accepted as much when it first came out. But there are quite a few people who believe in this. Because even foreign cults (Movie3) and Overhaul still mention it.

There's even a Bible!

And from my monkey brain (I may mention monkeys often, Wukong is strong, sorry in advance) what I can understand is Humanity who have quirks when they give birth to the next generation, the quirk will be more powerful until it cannot be controlled. Movie03 spoiler: A cult releasing a type of chemical weapon / drug (sorry, I threw out all the names) caused an incident where people released quirks like crazy until the city collapsed. In Movie03, the people who survived this incident were the ones who did not have quirks.

I won’t go into the possibility of a Doomsday belief from a psychopath (what was that guy’s name again, never mind), but what I’m posting is: How much do we trust this information?

From what I've researched further, being a stupid monkey, from the information of the great Hori (I'm being sarcastic) with "tell, don't show", the only person who believes the psychopathic doctor is AFO, which you can argue with me because AFO stole a lot of quirks so he sees the possibility, and we see from Shigaraki/AFO who transforms like Akira.

But… it's just two old men and a cult??? who believe in this with all their hearts?! Yes, it might be possible, but in the world of MHA where quirks have become a major driving force of superhero society, it would be impossible to have two old men one is a scientist who later became a psychopath and the other is an old man who is a Bracon who never graduated (I think) with no history except for being born to be evil and a cult that believes that the world will end because of an uncontrollable quirk and to make matters worse, it comes from a disease caused by rats being the carriers of the disease! (A quirk is a disease that people in this era see as normal!?)

Okay… If quirk is the big driver of the world in MHA, with 80% of the population having quirks (sick people) and 20% not having quirks (healthy people) If it's something that everyone talks about, why are there only 2 old people and 1 cult that care about it? Wouldn't there be anyone else talking about it? To say that only 2 old people are smart enough to understand the problem of extinction of humanity on Earth, leaving only the best creatures that survived natural selection. Wow, I'm a stupid monkey who should be thanked, because we don't have the right to survive?

This is very convincing information (even if my brain is a monkey, I can be sarcastic, you know). Okay, here's my next topic, and that's Quirks have the effect of controlling people's personality (Are we in the era when kids were excited about which house they belonged to in Hogwarts?)

Wow, Horikoshi Kohei will not "show not tell" , right? Okay! Here we go again. Choosing to enter Hogwarts house through the use of Quirks. What kind of person will you be? And what will you become from your Quirks without having to sit and create your own identity! Starting with Toga Himiko (I hate her) A girl with the cutest smile in the world. But her "like" for Quirks related to blood makes her have a desire to get "blood" of that person to satisfy what is called a personal feeling that she calls "love". She can't stop that desire because her Quirks need blood. So she takes a box cutter to slit the throat of the male student she has a crush on and sucks his blood until he bleeds to death.

She was able to stop her desire for "blood of love" because Twice wasn't dead yet because Toga never cut his throat while he was sleeping to suck his blood. Okay…

Next up is Tomura Shigaraki. With Quirks (spoiler: he got it from AFO), he has a desire to destroy everything he touches, so he has no other desires except destruction. Okay… And the belief of many MHA people is that this is my Quirks, my expression, my identity.

I wonder if there aren't any witch doctors or fortune tellers opening shops where parents can take their kids under 4 to see if there are any Quirks. Don't you think this is a good business to invest in? But yeah, what parent would take their kid to a fortune teller to see if there are any Quirks? It's not credible at all (like the two old men and the cult that believes in Doomsday). And like the leader of another cult that believes in liberation to create a world where only the strongest predators will survive because the stronger the Quirks, the more likely they are to survive the extinction of humanity. Alright everyone… This monkey will take his leave. Let's talk about what you think: How credible are both stories in the MHA world where the possibilities are so regrettably thrown away… And most infuriatingly

[fantasyhighdreamerz]

Moji [REDACTED] Jihalo

Art I commissioned by: @rainecats

General Info:

Full Name: Moji Jihalo

Nickname(s): Moe, Mo, Jiji

Age: 14-18

Height: 4'0

Gender: Non-Binary

Pronouns: They/Them/She/Her

Date of Birth: July 17th

Species: RatFolk (Hope to make up a better name for the species lmao)

Class: Druid

Druidic Focus: Sparrow Skull with a turquoise stone melded into the forehead. Trivia: Lives with their mom in a shitty little apartment!! (Strongtower Luxury Apartments mayhaps?) They have to share a bed )':

Knows 0 things about their mom's life from before she had them, besides the fact that her side of the family wants them dead and where deeply ashamed by their birth.

Their last name isn't their mom or dad's last name. It's a name their mom picked out in her rush to relocate/hide her an Moji. She mainly picked it because to her Moji is her little angel. A pure gift, who she pours herself into. Yes there is themes of a woman loosing herself and who she is to motherhood and forgetting that she herself is a person too. The npc lore goes crazy with my guys!!

Moji isn't their birth name^^

Huge crush on Riz Gukgak, happened on the first day of school when he randomly walked up and gave them his detective card he was handing out. Moji found it deeply endearing and kinda follows him around like a lost puppy. Is aroace! The crush is not romantic by a long shot they just really want to be Riz's friend super badly but are to shy to talk to him rip. We love not knowing thee difference between what romantic feelings and platonic feelings are IN THIS HOUSE

Moji's main arc besides learning to stand up for themselves is to be able to face who they are. Their rat form was not the form they were born in, and they have been hiding from the truth for a while. It's meant to be about love/acceptance of who their past self was and their old body so they can move forward with their life an not feel ashamed.

On government paper Moji's rat form is labeled as a curse from a Celestial being that's unable to be broken. To Moji though it's a blessing that they specifically asked for from the deity they now follow. Not that anyone outside of them and their mom are aware of that. It'll either be a newer deity or a nature deity haven't ironed out the kinks yet.

[kratioed]

𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐅𝐈 & 𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐈 , 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐋𝐎𝐊𝐈

It’s clear that Hel will one day appear in future releases, as hinted in both GOW(2018) and GOWR, but anyone who is a myth enthusiast knows that Loki had other children besides his monstrous offspring in Norse Mythology because interestingly enough, GOW’s wiki community decided to include "Narfi & Váli" despite no evidence of their existence whatsoever throughout the Norse era.

Of course, it’s also a fandom site; while they can be a reliable source, said sources on their encyclopedia are sometimes inaccurate. Knowing the impossibility of their existence, I also thought about how they can coexist throughout GOW.

EDIT UPDATE 2/1/2024: Recently, the GOW's wiki community updated Atreus' "uncertain future" category and the links to Váli's & Narfi's wiki pages no longer existed. Doesn't mean it'll stop me from enjoying my fun. 😎🔥💯

EDIT UPDATE 7/22/2024: Nevermind, they're mentioned on Angrboða's wiki page for some reason…Váli & Narfi aren't the same as Fenrir & Jörmungandr ☝️🤓 but okay. ☠

And the more I thought about it, the more apparent it became that they’re essential for the franchise…but it’s more like my personal headcanon rather than my “crack” theory so might as well call this an AU for shits and giggles. I thought it would be fun to share my overly long detailed analysis with those who are fixated on Atreus’ other (im)possible children as much as I am because I need this to get it out of my system since they have been living rent-free in my head for almost a year just now. This blog is now officially a Narfi & Váli stan account and Kratos would have LOVED his grandsons if they ever appeared in GOW, but it's very unlikely that would happen. This analyis is going to be a long one so bear with me!

I think it would be poetic for GOW to end off including Narfi & Váli (alongside Atreus) for the final conclusion of the franchise; and yes, Hel would be an adult in this timeskip, contrary to popular belief that they were children in Norse Mythology. Despite their unfortunate demise, their backgrounds are nothing like their half-siblings’ in the Norse Mythos, making them the most ordinary of all Loki’s children. But you know what? The concept of Narfi & Váli being the epitome of normality of all Loki’s offspring gave me an a idea...I’m not sure if anyone has noticed, but Narfi & Váli exhibit some similarities to Kratos & Deimos.

Before the Olympians (Athena & Ares) pursued one of the brothers due to a doomsday prophecy, Kratos & Deimos believed they were mere mortals during childhood as they still fit the epitome of normality as children, similarly to Narfi & Váli. They’re also gods at birth, but the only difference is that Narfi & Váli most likely knew about their divine nature, whereas Kratos (excluding Deimos) only discovered it later in adulthood (a silly parallel, but I still think it counts).

Another example would be in the parallel dynamics of Váli & Kratos, as they both had experiences where they succumbed to their primal instincts in different circumstances; Váli unwillingly turned into a wolf and killed his brother driven by primal instincts under the Æsir’s (or presumably Odin’s) influence, almost similar to how Kratos was deceived and unaware, killed his first wife and daughter fueled by his primal desire for blood under Ares’ influence. While Váli’s fate remains unknown after Loki's Punishment, we can infer that both Váli & Kratos are the only survivors other than their brother.

While the deaths of Narfi & Deimos are an obvious parallel, they're also linked to Bounds and Punishment in distinct ways; like Váli, Narfi was punished with his entrails used as bounds in retribution against his father, as well as due to his relation with Loki while Deimos, on the other hand, was bound and punished due to his existence as the "Marked Warrior" (same thing goes with Kratos since he too was also bound and punished at one point in Ascension).

On top of that, they were also subjected to violence as children inflicted by Gods. Consequently, it ultimately led the downfall of both Æsir & Olympians, as predicted by their prophecy. The prophecy of the "Marked Warrior" bringing destruction upon Olympus began the moment they abducted Deimos. The sufferings of Kratos' family (including Sparta and Pandora) at the hands of Gods contributes the downfall of Olympus. Their tragedies are the major cause of Kratos' justified vengeance to destroy the entire pantheon, ultimately leading the devastation of the Greek world.

In Norse Mythology (with my limited knowledge); the Æsir's (mostly Odin's) retaliation on Loki's monstrous children, particularly Fenrir, due to prophecies contributes their downfall in Ragnarök, especially with their involvement in Loki's Punishment. However, I believe that the suffering of Narfi & Váli at the hands of Æsir Gods is the primary cause for Loki's justified desire for vengeance. The Æsir's use of Narfi's entrails, his own son, as restraints adds insult to injury, intensifying Loki's anger. Obviously, Loki joined forces with those against Æsir Gods with his army of Hel's people while the events of Ragnarök lead the devastation throughout the lands.

But since this is GOW, I found this YouTube comment (which I've kept for quite some time) that perfectly said my thoughts out loud:

With the absence of Loki's Punishment; not only Kratos saved Narfi & Váli from Æsir's (particularly Odin's) wrath, he also prevented a similar tragedy that would inflict upon his grandsons the same way that Gods once inflicted upon him and Deimos as children, in which, fits the overall theme of subverting prophecies in GOWR.

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

Santa Monica could have easily had Atreus name his sons "Narfi & Váli" as everyone expected from Norse Mythology. But given Santa Monica's innovative approach to myth characters through creative liberties, using "Narfi & Váli" wouldn't work within the narrative structure of GOW's distinct retelling of Folklore, especially the Prose Edda of all settings.

From what I've heard, there has been a debate about whether "Váli" is a son of Odin or Loki, or both Valis existed as sperate characters. Additionally, in GOWR, there's already a boss character named Vali (The Oath Guard), which I assumed (correct me if I'm wrong) it's a cultural practice for parents to name their child after a Norse figure in Scandinavian countries, but I find it unlikely for Atreus to name one of his children after an Æsir or any God in general. Similarly, Narfi shares a name with another Giant unrelated to Loki whatsoever...but given the wide variety of Gods and other myth characters we've seen from Greek Mythology depicted in GOW, it wouldn't be surprising if other Narfi, and particularly, Váli Odinson were to mentioned or featured in future releases.

If you're not aware or need a reminder, Atreus gets to learn about Deimos during "Animal Instincts" side quest. Whether you choose to bring Atreus or Freya doesn't matter, it doesn't change the fact that Santa Monica had intended for Atreus to know about his uncle, it's still canon either way.

Atreus' identity has roots that go beyond his Norse counterpart (both symbolically and narrative wise along with the origins of his Greek name) and very likely that Santa Monica would take a similar approach with "Hel" in future releases (I've seen people suggest her name could be Faye/Laufey or Calliope, or even Callisto or Angrboða's mother). It's only fair that "Narfi & Váli" should get the same treatment…so imagine how moving it would be if Atreus were to name his sons after Kratos & Deimos.

"Váli" 𝐊𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐒 𝐈𝐈, named after his grandfather, transformed from a monster into a benevolent God due to his ability to change and open his heart, representing the beacon of hope...and "Narfi" 𝐃𝐄𝐈𝐌𝐎𝐒 𝐈𝐈, named after his great uncle, whom Atreus had known but never met (but wishes they had), honored his uncle by naming his youngest son after him.

EDIT UPDATE 3/7/2024: Just recently discovered in Greek Culture, it's common for children to be named after their grandparents, in which, aligns with my case for "Váli" to be named after his grandfather! While "Narfi" is named after his great-uncle, I believe (correct me if I'm wrong) the naming tradition also involves material/paternal relatives, which is fitting within the context of GOW. ^^

There are hearsay, or statements from Cory Barlog, that Kratos couldn't bring himself to name his son after his brother due to past memories…Atreus, on the other hand, seems open to the idea of naming one of his own children after his uncle he never met.

𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐅𝐈 & 𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈/𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

Besides Narfi Lokison and other Narfi, their accounts become somewhat unclear when Narfi's brother is addressed as "Nari." This time, it's Narfi who turns into a wolf and kills Nari. However, some sources later changed Narfi's name to Váli, both in historical texts and modern media...

EDIT UPDATE 7/21/2024: Initially, I thought this version was made based on the notion that Váli was Odin's son rather than Loki's. But after some further investigation, I'm inclined to believe that Váli is a singular character while Narfi & Nari are Loki's sons. It's also possible that "Narfi/Nari" is referred as the same character, as the belief that Váli is Loki's son is a common mistake in today's media. It would have been so easy to overlook the mistranslation and go along with the usual understanding of "Narfi & Váli"…but thinking about it now, this could actually work within the narrative structure as prophecies are ambiguously depicted in GOWR.

How about this: "Váli & Narfi" (or "Narfi & Nari") can shapeshift into wolves. Not only it emphasizes their connection with Atreus/Loki, but as a reflection of Kratos & Deimos through Speki & Svanna.

EDIT UPDATE 7/26/2024: This might be a overreach...but if Kratos' presumption that Speki & Svanna were boys did reflect something, then it could be described as a projection of his experiences as a military general as well as an extension of subconscious affection. For Kratos' case, people form stronger bonds with animals than with human (and Gods) since often times they can be deceitful/malicious, conceited, narrow-minded, backstabbing, or calculatively manipulative through obligations/false promises while animals (wolves) would instead be much more pragmatic about survival and tender care.

Speki & Svanna (+Fenrir) have been usefully vigilant and reliable wolves that aid him and Atreus, and given the history of humans surviving in collaboration with animals, there is precedence for Kratos subconsciously associating the wolves with memories of Spartan warriors he had by his side almost as though they were his own family, where survival relied on the coordination of his armies and the care given to ensuring that his men were left standing after battle.

This can very easily be associated in the mind as symbolic of a dedicated and responsible soldier as a result from a pivotally formative part of his life revolved around the Sparta's military…and out of remorse (for the casualties of people under his care amidst the war he's wrought) and love (for those who've either perished or lived as well as the people who stood by him), it felt plausible that he could've associated this with Speki & Svanna (shout out to my irl friend for cooking this up!).

Regardless, I can also imagine this as a foreshadow of Kratos' doting relationship with his future grandsons!

𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍

EDIT UPDATE 7/21/2024: As much as I adore the relationship between Kratos and his grandsons, I personally think it would be better if they never met in person (rest assured, Hel is fortunate enough to know their grandfather as a child). As I mentioned before, Narfi & Váli should appear by the end of the franchise, and what better way to conclude Kratos' journey than being remembered as the benevolent God even after his death?

Kratos once quoted, "Death can have me, when it earns me" might foreshadow his potential death for the final installment. Given that Kratos had "died" in previous games and even evaded his predicted "death" in GOWR, I think it would be flitting to conclude his journey if the franchise comes to an end (in which, would have opted Atreus to name one of his sons after their grandfather). But it's just a personal theory of mine, so I digress.

Narfi & Váli serves as character foils for Kratos & Deimos, illustrating their childhood origins from Ghost of Sparta to the narrative's conclusion with Narfi & Váli emerging at the end. With wisdom gained from experiences and mistakes, Atreus, aged with greying hair, gazes at his sons and feels as if his father and uncle are reunited once again…relieving their childhood they never had as children.

If you made it this far, then congratulations! Here's a quick (and old) sketch of my variant of Váli would look like:

EDIT UPDATE 12/19/2024: Tried my best to replicate his facial structure. He's basically Kratos 2.0 with a decent childhood who smiles a lot more than his grandfather ever did in Sparta (he also has his grandfather's eyes and freckles from his father). Narfi, on the other hand, looks a lot more like his father with the iconic mark as a homage. They're basically Yuki & Ame (+Atreus w/Hana) from Wolf Children (I never watch the movie, but it's the vibes I'm get from them)! ^^

[gentlemanviolet]

HellOO! Today I wanna talk about ME!! The "Revekka" verison, ofc

First of all, my eng sucks cuz it's my second language

And yes I don't have a physical script, I script everything in my head

I think I've tell you guys a few things about me in some posts that I've posted before, but today, it'll be in details.

I was born in Los Angeles 1980, april 22 (same birth month and day as Violet who's the me, in here), I'm technically 27 years old because it's 2007 now (i'm changing the year everytime, it was 2008 a few weeks ago)

my zodiac sign leo, it's the best zodiac sign in everything (ik ik just let me be), my chinese/korean zodiac animal is dragon (ik it's not how it works but I just want mine to be a dragon)

I don't have a face claim but I also don't use Violet's face for my reality because it's not that pretty so I have some examples of what type of vibes I want my beauty to give off

Nana (after school), Jo yuri (SNSD), Angelina Jolie, Adriana Lima, Lee Min-jung

First I wanna describe how I look

I was born with natural wavy jet , I have diamomd face shape, symmetrical face, dark blue eyes and those are the most beautiful eye color (ikr i have main character syndrome), my eye shape is almond, I have straight/pointed nose, I have full + rounded lips, high cheekbones, defined/sharp asf jawlines, normal eyebrows (not thick or thin), medium set and soft angled eyebrows, long lashes,

And I have fast metabolism, my body type is hourglass, I'm 173 cm tall, I have pale skin, visible colorbones, slim+veiny hands, slim tighs blah blah

Let's get back to my story, I'm half American and half Korean, my mom is a Korean princess by blood but she don't wants to be a princess and she just want to be an actress so she gave her sister the title "Princess"(who's my aunt) and became the person who she wants to be(told yall before), my dad is a very very rich person from America, they met and have ME! They made the most cutest little alien on earth<3

I became both an actress and a singer at a very young age, I was a 5 years old, I act and sing in both country, America and Korea, I was a little It girl back then, now I'm a world wide it girl HAHAHAHAHAH

actually I got the name "The most beautiful kid" as soon as I start my career,

I had to move my ass to these two country every year so I had to go to two school each year (my eng sucks so idk how to explain), like I told yall before, my bestie followed wherever I go

I started my own clothing brand "Riona Jee" at the age of 15, and then I add more and more so Riona Jee is not just a clothing (shoes, heels, bags and anything that can wear, includes) brand, cars, jewelries, sneakers, watches, sunglasses, glasses, skin cares, and makeup

Yeah I don't make phones, I'd rather use phones that others made because I've already made almost everything, and yes I don't make wigs, but omg wait, should I make pads??? For LADIES

I became more and more famous as I get older, and tbh I get prettier

Like told yall before, humans can't die and they age like vampires so technically we're just like vampires but we don't drink blood, so.. the point is, I will look like I'm in my 20s even when I'm 100 years old or maybe 1000

I have 2 cats, lollipop and coffee, coffee is a orange male siberian, and lollipop is a white female siberian (I googled the breeds and I just chose both the breed and the names while writing this cuz I'm bad at memorizing)

And my talents are, I can literally do anything, and I'm one of the smartest human on earth, I remember everything in details *proud asf*

That's all I can remember for now

I think I will post "Storytime until I actually got there" tomorrow, but I'm gonna shift tonight! Yayy bye

Edit: I forgot that I have sharp asf vampire teeth and ears like elfs

[loserchildhotpants]

hii! i just read your mcpricely fic from yee olden days and i LOVED IT so from writer to writer im just wondering if you have any tips on how you make your dialogue so engaging and true to character!! much love xx

the jump scare you have just given me w the first part of that second sentence

i refuse cringe, though. we are cringe and we are free. i just forgot that fic exists and now i am frightened that fic exists still, but if it gave you joy, i am glad!!!

so, dialogue! i'm happy to talk abt my personal process, but always consider that it's just my own, and there are lots of other approaches!

engaging dialogue:

engaging is p subjective, i'm not sure what it is you specifically found engaging, so i can't totally zero in on that, but what i will say is that i consider, as i'm writing, if whether or not i am finding it interesting to write versus interesting to read. those two are not always the same.

sometimes a conversation has to happen for Plot Reasons but is, in general, kind of boring! maybe it's just a vehicle for exposition or something, but there have been times where i've straight up just deleted entire exchanges bc upon re-reading it i was like 'wow, this is boring, i would skip this as a reader' and then brain storming ideas of what could make that conversation more interesting.

a lot of the time, the answer to that is 'if i take this one line of dialogue and just think abt it for a while, what other tangential trains of thought come to mind?' and then i'll find a secondary subject, still tangentially related to the primary subject, that i can spice the dialogue with.

in a recent fic on my other account, i wrote an exchange where i was giving a watsonian explanation for a character's name, but etymology can be kinda boring, and this was clearly me, as the author, trying to make an in-universe explanation as to why this character's name is SO remarkably out of place -- so i cushioned that conversation w conversation abt that character's birth story, giving an opportunity for that character to show through diction and body language how they feel abt their mother, and then, also related, their siblings, and ultimately their father. the characters speaking accomplished what i needed them to; made the universe more detailed/real-feeling, gave a watsonian explanation for a character's objectively out of place name, and in so doing, created a way to provide emotional vulnerability that made the exchange deeper and more emotionally enriching.

and of course, dialogue is as much abt what is said as what is not. when considering a conversation, consider what would be interesting for a character to withhold, why they would withhold it, and what it would take for them to divulge it.

abt staying true to character:

this is also p subjective, it's kind of you to say so, though! i know there is disc horses abt the meme of 'he would not fucking say that' but tbh it's been helpful for me! sometimes i'm writing a repressed character and im so eager for them to be vulnerable and share themselves, i find myself writing stuff that, to put simply, they would not fucking say lol

i know that i speak the way i write and i write the way i speak. my narrative voice is distinct, has a certain rhythm, and syntax, and i don't mind that for narration, but that means i need to go out of my way to make sure i'm making the characters sound like themselves and not like me.

i recommend exercises w characters through written word or text, as in write short fics and drabbles abt characters texting each other, writing letters to one another, or maybe only speaking through a walkie talkie, which minimizes the use of action tags.

as you write those exchanges, you can start to tell when your voice is taking over and when you write a line that's SO that character and you're like 'omg yes i could see that happening on stage/on the show/in the movie/in the game/etc' and over time, it becomes more natural

but capturing a voice is hard, and it'll take a few tries! something else to consider is what you enjoy abt those characters' interactions, and figuring out how to replicate it. like, if you like that between these characters, there is always juicy tension, that means the dialogue probably needs to be pulled back, a lot being Unsaid, more expressed in body language than verbal language, but if something you like abt a different dynamic is that one is a goofy guy and the other is the straight man so to speak, keeping the straight man stoic will probably be the challenge.

this is all i can really think of rn but i'm super happy to talk shop any time :3333 this is was such a sweet ask to get! thank u!! <3

[pynkhues]

This might be a bit of speculation, but do you think that Lestat also found the 20th restrictive? I feel as though his relationship with Louis brought him into a social climate that he may have otherwise ignored or avoided. I wonder if it impacted his relationship with Claudia also.

Oooo, that's a really interesting question, anon. My inclination is yes, he would've? Especially given he's already run through a few chapters of history and been living apart from human society in a way that Louis doesn't really make the active choice to do until he decides to turn away from Morgan and Amelia at the Romanian shelter in 2.01.

Depending on how they decide to adapt this part of TVL though, Lestat does go to America to make a connection and live a human lifetime that he never got to as a mortal. That's what Marius wanted him to do, so I think there probably is - to an extent - a broad embrace of this society that Louis' a part of that goes with that. He's getting to share this new mortal lifetime with a man who he loves, and I think he probably figures that they'll live that and then move on from it and it'll be this thing that they both look back on with nostalgia at some point. In some ways, Lestat's arrived in 1910 New Orleans basically to play house, which I think fundamentally contributes to this disconnect between him and Louis, because Louis' not playing - this is still his life - and Lestat's all in, of course he's all in, but he's already left this equivalently formative part of his human reality behind him.

In that sense, I don't think Lestat is ever fully aware of the toll of the era on Louis or on Claudia, and while I think he probably feels some degree of restriction, he's also got far greater freedoms broadly by being white, wealthy, and able to pass as straight when he's with Antoinette. It's a very, very different type of freedom though from the one he had in Paris with Nicki, and the one he had while travelling with Gabrielle though, and I do think we see that he chafes with certain things. Like I think he does feel restricted that he and Louis can't be together publicly, for instance, because we see the catharsis of it for both of them when they kiss on the dance floor at the Mardi Gras Ball, and I actually think he struggles sometimes with them being so anchored to New Orleans, even though he's in love with that city. He tries to get them to travel a couple of times, after all, and Louis' refusal to do so as he's still so tethered there to his mortal life, I think probably did feel restrictive in its own way.

And yeah, with Claudia, I think the social climate there probably affected him a lot because it really compounds the othering within their family unit. Louis gets to be Daddy Lou, he and Claudia get to share a vampiric language in telepathy, but they also inherently share a human one too by both being Black. They experience the world differently still by nature of Claudia being a little girl and Louis being an adult man, and that results in very different levels of social power in the 1910s-through-1940 (hell, still does today), but they have more crossover than they don't.

If Louis' the father, if he's Daddy Lou, Lestat can't publicly be anything other than Uncle Les. Gay marriage was illegal, gosh, interracial marriage was illegal, and transracial adoption was extremely controversial, so in this sense, I think the social climate that they're in absolutely has a huge impact on that relationship. It's particularly interesting - and potentially even more poignant - when you consider again the fact that Lestat's technically the birthing parent given he turned her. Those social restrictions of the era means that only one of them was ever going to be able to live openly as her parent, and that was never going to be Lestat.

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.109 My place in this world

Mama called and invited us over for dinner that night, so Sophia and I discussed whether we would share our news when she inevitably asked us about her grandchildren. We knew she could handle it, and would offer to help any way she could, but we decided to keep it to ourselves for the moment. I didn't enjoy keeping secrets from my mother, but letting the world in felt like defeat at this stage. Sophia had only just begun the treatments. She could be pregnant by tomorrow. It wasn't time to worry everyone, especially when they weren't suspicious yet.

But to both of our surprise, we got through the entire evening without one question or comment about babies. Not even Alessia, who was even nosier, said anything. Without a story to fabricate, we ate in a semblance of peace with our secret between us, hoping one day this would be a distant memory added as a footnote in our story.

Back at home, I caught Sophia sneaking out of the bathroom as I headed for bed. She froze like she got caught stealing when she spotted me, but then the disappointed took over. I sighed, not because I knew what she did in there, but because of her tenacity. I loved how she wouldn't give up despite how much it hurt. But I didn't want her to end every day disappointed if these treatments didn't work, so I grabbed her by the hand and led her into our room.

"It's okay, you know. Maybe it takes a while for it to take effect."

"Or maybe it won't work for me."

"Don't say that. It'll work. And even if it doesn't, it's not the end. We'll just move on to the next thing. Regardless of how it happens, very soon, we'll have our baby, and we'll be in our new house, and everything will be great."

She sighed, nodding in agreement, but I could tell she struggled to believe.

"Is it bad that I hope we don't have to adopt? Does that make me like my parents?"

"Not at all. I think everyone prefers their own blood. It's natural."

"It's just that... You have all these beautiful family ties. There's only me. I don't want my existence to be just a blip on the radar, here one day and gone the next, forgotten and unimportant. I want to leave a piece of me behind so my life matters!"

I couldn't hold it together anymore. The dam broke, and tears flooded my face. I hated how much those idiots who birthed and raised her affected her life. She arguably was the best sim to ever walk the earth; The star in my sky; The light in my darkness; The gummy bear in my pancakes! No one else mattered to me quite like she did.

"Sophia, you do matter! You matter to me! You matter to this family! My life has been a thousand times better because you're in it! And when we're finally able to hold our child, whether it's ours or not, you'll matter to him too! Her. Whoever! You're gonna love the hell out of them, and they'll think you're the best sim on earth. Right?"

She nodded through her tears.

"Yes. I love it so much already! I haven't even met it yet."

"Exactly. Don't worry. It'll happen."

[kayetra-spade-queen]

Because @drawnfamiliarfaces got me into their AU rabbit hole of a variant version of the Teen Heroes™, I hope they don't mind of me making my own variant (I'm self-conscious, please excuse me-).

First and foremost, I can't draw, at least not to the extent of completely fleshing out a sketch out of my ass (ok- I can, but only a single eye, and even then it looks like shit to me-). I can draw clothing better than making a full body to make a whole ass scene. Comics are out the window cuz I will suffer.

Second, it'll probably be more on writing than making fanarts.

Third, I didn't watch the majority of the other characters' respective shows. I watched Danny Phantom a bit because of Nicktoons, and Ben 10 because of the same person who got me into starting this whole thing. I'll probably get my own snips and bits of necessary info from the wiki, but don't expect any accuracy, and I'd appreciate if anyone could dump some info that could prove to be very necessary for me.

Fourth, this is an entire AU itself, so I'm mostly not gonna follow canon at most. There will be stories I will try to twist to my liking.

Fifth, ships. Yes, but bear with me here; thanks to my overconsumption of media, I will be putting just a few ships that I think are neat, but if anyone disagrees with me or didn't like how I didn't mention a ship they like (cuz I barely knew shit about the characters), then please just either move away from my blog, or block me entirely to avoid unwanted conflict. We all have our interests that make us happy, the least you could do is to respect and/or completely don't interact.

Sixth, the clothing are gonna filled with my own personal headcanons, mostly their clothing when they battle (the characters themselves too, but I'm gonna focus more on the clothes because I'm a fashion illustrator). Danny, Ben, and Randy are gonna wear heels because yes.

The ships involved;

Tigerghost (Manny Rivera from El Tigre x Danny Fenton from Danny Phantom) (I completely blame izbubbles for this one)

Benrex (Rex Salazar from Generator Rex x Ben Tennyson from Ben 10) (surprised? Probably not lmfao-)

Jimmytimmy (Timmy Turner x Jimmy Neutron) (first and foremost; no, none of the Nicktoons (Jimmy, Timmy, SpongeBob, and Manny) except Danny and Jenny are part of this team. Danny and Jenny still go on missions with the NU team because duh. And second; they're only here as some sort of filler and cuz I really love Nicktoons since most of them I have watched)

Headcanons involved (will get expanded in due time I swear-);

Trans Danny

Anodite Ben (still wields the Omnitrix. His anodite powers are pink too)

Dani and Dan are Danny's kids (under a different name because they have to go through a re-birth process that I'll touch upon later)

Ben's necrofriggian children now comes to earth to live with their mom (like I said, I'm not following canon)

Randy is still ninja, but because this AU involves a 3rd power/skill, I'll have to twist a bit of the canon my way, especially when it comes to the Ultimate Lesson and memory wipe

There will be some Genshin Impact references here and there, because I do play them, and I love it-

Ghost King Danny (by extent, Ghost Princess Dani and Ghost Prince Dan)

Fashion designer Ben (his sassy and confident nature could be more of a use tbh)

Primal Iudex Randy (he and Furina would get along nicely-)

Pearl Keeper Jake

Side gig magician Rex (leave me be, I think it's neat-)

Engaged Rex and Ben (all of the members are adults over 20, so don't be surprised)

Sandra Tennyson is French, so that makes Ben half-French by heritage

Ben and Randy are pen pals turned close friends by the time Ben moved to France (yes, I made Randy somewhat French here for this reason, but I'll have to put in more details later)

Rex won't lose his memories, but he'll get short-term amnesia often, which just need something to trigger the old memories back

Everyone is under the same universe

Danny's ghost team are Sam-Tucker-Valerie-Jazz and his parents (Valerie deserves better than what was given to her by canon)

Yes, Maddie and Jack knew Danny became a ghost from the very start, but they didn't treat him any differently than he was before; if anything, they felt guilty that their son had paid the price for their ignorance and neglect

Phantom Planet do not exist, and it shouldn't have been to begin with, but whatever

Valerie had always been part of Danny's gang. In terms of Shades of Gray, I'll have to change a lot of things, that includes her father's job (he didn't get fired), so I have other things in mind regarding Cujo

Cujo became Danny's pet dog later on, cuz you can't tell me these two aren't made for each other

Members from oldest to youngest, I do hope @drawnfamiliarfaces wouldn't mind me using their headcanon as well (eldest Kim, youngest Randy). I think they're really neat.

Please keep in mind that none of this follow canon whatsoever, they follow my headcanons and versions. Character backstories are written purely by my own personal headcanons too. I'll probably add actual canon when I didn't have anything good to offer, but this is what I could put for now.

[ravensvirginity]

Why don't you like Raven's 2018 solo? The Daughter of Darkness series i mean.

Oh my god, where do I even begin with Daughter of Darkness.

Getting the basic stuff out of the way first:

I don't like high schooler Raven. I don't think Raven in the comics should ever be under 18 and I hate that she was deaged for something like 15 years. Furthermore, Marv Wolfman specifically just does not write young teenagers well. All the scenes that try to show Raven acting like a normal teenager came off awkward to me.

Raven's design isn't my favorite and the art is just so-so so none of the panels really spoke to me.

There's this weird Christian undertone in the comic for some reason? Marv Wolfman isn't even a Christian, but I thought that Raven's family's insistence on her coming to Mass was kind of annoying and not handled the way I'd want it to be.

Connected to that, the way Arella was written was weirdly victim-blaming towards her, especially in contrast to older works of Wolfman's about her. She's painted as a rebellious child who didn't love her parents and ran away out of spite, and then had a lot of casual sex (which could be fine, but it felt like it was included just to make her look worse) before got sucked into the Trigon cult. Even though there are other things in the comic as well as in past comics that make it seem far more likely that Arella's parents were abusive to her and she ran away due to that, and joined a satanic cult due to her trauma with Christianity as well as being vulnerable and manipulated by its members.

Now, onto the biggest problem: the main plot of Raven: Daughter of Darkness is that Trigon does eugenics on his kids.

Yes, Trigon is evil and doesn't care if he hurts people, even his own children. That being said, I still think the way he acted in this comic was out of character. In NTT and in most other comics, he does have some level of fondness for his children, especially Raven. He definitely doesn't want any of them dead. In ToT, he outright mourns Raven after she's killed by the corrupted Titans and decides to destroy the entire dimension in revenge. With all that in mind, him being willing to kill Raven in order to come to Earth feels really out of character.

The 'monstrous' children of Trigon is a whole other problem. Why is he mad that his kids are turning out looking like he does??? Again, in past comics, when Raven is corrupted by him she begins to look more monstrous and resembles him. He seems to want his children to look like him, so why is it suddenly a problem? The problem doesn't seem to be that they're not fit to be soldiers or not powerful or whatever, it seems to be specifically appearance based. Why does he care?

And again, the eugenics. Just bizarre. Yeah, I guess genetically engineering women so that they can give birth to better children would be something Trigon would do, but it doesn't feel on brand for the kind of story you'd expect with Trigon. He's a demon from another dimension who does crazy feats of magic, he doesn't feel like the kind of guy who would employ a team of mad scientists. And the weird emphasis on perfect genes vs imperfect in his kids is uncomfortable and completely inconsistent with past depictions of him.

All that being said, I don't hate Raven: DoD with a passion or anything. It does have some moments I do like. Wolfman understands Raven's lore wayyyy better than most other writers (obviously, he created that lore, and even though he writes modern Raven here he still sticks to a lot of traditional Raven elements). But the overall story is not it for me.

There didn't end up being a natural place to put this with my thoughts but I wanted to mention this panel because I think it's hilarious

How is that obvious. Maybe he thinks people should just assume whenever Trigon is involved with anything it'll include his breeding kink

[youremyheaven]

hi, this is my second time sending it and i pray you receive it. i'm the 22yo anon with the relationships, social dread and sexuality question. ill try my best to rewrite as quick as possible. i would like to be guided and need your big sister advise,,, i don't know how to ask and word my issues smoothly 😓😓,,, (context- ive known to be demiromantic and little to no fixation on sex, on the asexual spectrum?) so i just turned 22 and have a crush and looks like he too likes me the same and im sure its going to get serious,, i have been nervous about talking about my preferences with my crush because someday i have to explain to them because i have friends and peers around me asking me to "get some" and that it's normal and it's how it'll change my asexuality?? to them im just faking being uncomfortable around bed talk even though i agree i can be the holiest nun but i do catch myself having the highest libido therefore take care of myself without needing anyone from time to time. pleasing for me felt like an annoying itch that needed to be scratched like most people,,, corn doesn't do it for me so I never understood the hype and didn't feel a thing,,, yes I have crushes but im not aching and wanting to bang them,, a bunch of my peers have at a young age and unsafely which got one of them pregnant, being in indian society it's looked down upon and what my friend had to go through was rough and it had a huge impact,,, though my parents are forward thinking people and openly and safely talked about this topic with me without having shame tied to it and my mother also makes it a comfortable space,, im not shaming anyone who engages in activities like these and i also understand that its human nature and it's how we procreate and evolve yet i still get very uncomfortable around sexual scenes in movies maybe it's my own childhood trauma causing this feeling of dread and discomfort from my childhood,,,,

besides my friends and family, i shared my asexuality to my aunt and baby cousin,,,,, they were supportive but kept being skeptic like my peers would saying this is temporary 💀 that i need to get laid asap which bothered me sm,,, my cousin now (a party, club going personality) too has engaged in activities with her exes since she was a preteen and im the only one in the fam who knows (desi household is no joke) and im worried for her safety though she seems independent but i do feel concerned and wonder if i should let her be because she has been distant and lord knows who she is with next,,,,she's much much younger but coming from a wealthy family kinda looks down on me and for not having any relationship experiences so distanced herself from me which hurts,,, bottom line i feel ostracized to a degree by people i care about and there is this insane pressure to have to talk about my trauma and issues around sex,,, as they say it's a man's birth right and they all want it at some point and so will your crush or men will leave you the minute they get that repulsion??😓

i might consider it for my man someday but i don't want it to affect my relationship with men??

how do i face people when im not taken seriously or call it a nun phase? i don't want to lose men over this and who better than you to ask,,,, im typing and im all teared up,,, i need clarity on how to approach this better without having internalized any pain, guilt for feeling the way i do. you can answer when you're ready and sorry i made it too long 😞😣

This is my third attempt

"this is my third attempt" 😭😭😭

girlie ur not going for JEE mains 😭😭this is just my inbox

(for non desis, JEE is a highly competitive college entrance exam,, ppl prepare for it for YEARS and some ppl commit suicide when they cant crack it 🤡 explaining it is taking the fun away from the joke but thought id give u context <33)

but ANYWAYYYS

first of all dont apologize for the long ask or for sharing your experiences,, I GOTCHU 😘💛

now about your question:

one thing u need to know is that the right person will NEVER EVER make u feel "compelled" to have sex,, ive had partners during my celibate era who i didnt even kiss lol and they were entirely fine with it

pls dont listen to your friends and family and believe that sex is something you OWE your partner/men. i had many nasty friends tell me the same or try to convince me that i "should" do it bc otherwise its not a "real" relationship and im so glad i never listened to them<33

i also know many women who are waiting for marriage to have sex but have boyfriends atm. they all have different degrees of intimacy that they're okay with (some go up to oral and leave penetrative intercourse for marriage, others just kiss, makeout and cuddle) but u can also have a zero intimacy relationship. if a man wants you and wants to be with you, HE WILL DO ANYTHING. i once told a guy (he was 21 and i was 23 and he wanted to date me) that im celibate and dont want to have sex and he said "thats perfectly fine, i didnt ask you out to sleep with you, i want to be with you, whatever your terms are, thats fine by me" and honestly there are MANY such dudes out there,, not every guy is a porn addicted weirdo who believes u OWE them sex 🤮🤢🤢🤮

u dont have to have casual sex if you dont want to!! esp since you're a virgin, i think its important for you to be wise about your partner and choose someone who is considerate and caring!!! THIS IS NOT A RACE, you can have sex later in life, i assure you its nothing special if you feel "compelled" to do it/dont like your partner/dont feel comfortable.

having another person inside u is as intimate as two people can be and it is so vulnerable,, dont rush it and dont do it with someone u dont trust to take you through the experience tenderly!!!

i think you just need to drop your friends lol,, they sound unhealthy

if i dont include my r4pist, then ive had sex with 3 people (i dont actually want to include baldie tbh but 🤢🤮) and 2 of those were with a partner (1 is my current partner) and those experiences were so pleasant and wonderful<3 ive had people tell me i "should" try casual sex 🙄but its not for me and even now i tell you, i have no issues staying celibate, i think its better to just not have sex than to have dissatisfying sex ://

you wont "lose" men over sex lol, you might lose immature men but those are exactly the guys u want nothing to do with!!! its a great way to weed them out!!!

i follow a 5 date rule with sex actually. i have to like him enough to go on atleast 5 dates with him before we do anything intimate,, if he seems impatient or too eager or whatever, then cut his nasty ass out,,

(this is just general advice for anyone, i know you dont want to have sex<3)

stop telling people your personal business btw!! you dont have to share your sex life or lack thereof with all your friends bc its none of their business at the end of the day. ESPECIALLY since they dont seem to understand where youre coming from, you should stop sharing this stuff with them. this is not info that you owe them just bc ya'll are friends. i absolutely hate sharing my personal business with my "friends" and all the times i have, i absolutely regretted it. i hate that kind of interference. like YOU dont get to have an opinion about my life lol??

basically, stay private, you do you, nothing wrong with being asexual or being celibate, sex is overhyped and most men dont know how to fck (sorry to speak facts) and the right partner wont want sex from you. there are men who take care of bedridden partners. love makes anything possible. and i hope you find someone who truly genuinely loves you so that you never have to worry about any of this.

i also hope you get better friends!!!<33

wishing u the best,

Heaven<3