#‘the only goddamn good you’ll ever do her’ gIDEON

[spending-life-pretending]

constantly thinking about the implications of you could’ve lived for her…but you didn’t know how

[locked-tomb-shenanigans]

Listen I’m sure someone has already talked about this scene, and way better than I ever could, but it makes me so feral and I need to talk about it too

This is hands down the most depressing scene in the entirety of NtN in my opinion.

Surface level it’s Gideon yelling at Crux, but the significance here comes from the exact word choice. “You could have lived for her. But you didn’t know how.”

She uses past tense.

It’s not about Crux (who arguably did live for Harrow, considering his purpose was raising and protecting her, and could by all means still do this if he changed his mind about dying for Harrow.) It’s not about the congregation who worshipped her.

It’s about Gideon, who can’t live for Harrow anymore, because she’s dead. It’s about the promise she broke at the end of the first book. She’s talking about herself.

Harrow made her promise that when it comes down to it, Gideon needs to save herself. If only one of them can survive, it has to be Gideon.

At the end of the first book, Harrow is actively planning to sacrifice herself so Gideon can live, bringing up the promise and then diving into what this is actually about. Namely, how she owes Gideon her life back.

And Gideon breaks that promise, instead deciding to sacrifice herself for Harrow.

“I can’t keep my promise because the entire point of me is you. There is no me without you.”

Gideon doesn’t know how to live for Harrow, how to exist without her, even though it’s the most important thing Harrow ever asked of her—and so she dies for her instead.

“You could have lived for her. But you didn’t know how.”

And the sacrifice ended up being rejected by Harrow, because it’s not what Harrow wanted. It never was. So Gideon ended up feeling rejected and like her life and giving it up wasn’t worth anything. And she still immediately offers herself up again without hesitation. She’s ready to die for Harrow all over again, even now that she’s already dead.

“Die. Die for her. It’s the only goddamn good you’ll ever do her.”

Gideon is fucking furious—so much that Nona can’t even place her voice anymore—but not at any of the people who would rightfully deserve her fury. Not at Crux. She’s furious at herself. This whole scene is so damn heartbreaking to me.

And out of all the cruel things Crux has done to Gideon throughout her life, this might be the worst one: telling the girl who died for the Reverend Daughter once and was ready to die for her a second time that she couldn’t even get that right. That she managed to screw up the one purpose she was actually supposed to serve, the only good she’s ever done for Harrow.

Gideon is dead. She can’t do what Harrow asked and live for her anymore. What the hell is she supposed to do if she can’t die for her, either?

[augerer]

spinning the “Die for her . . . it’s the only goddamn good you’ll ever do her. It’s all any of you ever knew how to give her. You could have lived for her . . . but you didn’t know how.” line around in my mind. tfw gideon enacts a textbook example of “something traumatic happens to you and then you inflict the same trauma on someone else instead of breaking the cycle of violence” except instead of the trauma being something normal like child abuse or misogyny its “committing suicide in order to save harrows life”…

[theriverbeyond]

when Kiriona says to Crux: "“Good. Die. Die for [Harrow] … it’s the only goddamn good you’ll ever do for her. It's all any of you ever knew how to give her. You could have lived for her … but you didn’t know how.”

this is it, isn’t it? Gideon calls herself out and lays bare something this entire series has been built on: love as consumption, as sacrifice, as a fucking forest fire and a nuke: "you have not yet seen the horrors of love"

Gideon dies for Harrow because she thinks it’s all she can do. Harrow sacrifices her selfhood and her mind and every memory of Gideon, because she cannot conceive of a universe without her. Camilla and Palamades die for each other because they cannot bear to be apart, the idea of the perfect love twisted into a mutual death. John loves the world so much that he ate it. destruction and revenge and cannibalism as the ultimate expressions of devotion.

the D in devotion stands for dead.

and obviously, that is all incredible and extremely thought provoking and sexy, but..... Kiriona names the one avenue of love that this series has not yet really explored: what if you lived for someone instead of dying for them.

i’m thinking of Abigail and Magnus, in the river bubble, telling Harrow to live for Gideon instead of dying for her. i’m thinking about how Ianthe loves Coronabeth so much and refuses to eat her, refuses to consume her, leaves her abandoned and sobbing but alive. i’m thinking about Blood of Eden’s founding protocol, the one that supersedes all others: the order to live.

Kirona has named it, but how does she earn it -- how does Harrow earn it? narratively speaking. anyway... even if AtN doesn’t end up exploring this i am turning it all around in my head.

[freethefable]

Thinking about how Gideon Nav, saddest girl in the world, who said:

“Good,” said someone, so savagely that it sounded like a new voice altogether. “Good. Die. Die for her … it’s the only goddamn good you’ll ever do her. It’s all any of you ever knew how to give her. You could have lived for her … but you didn’t know how.”

absolutely must either remember some of her time merged with Harrow's soul or have had her own be so irrevocably changed by that merge (see The Unwanted Guest) that she understands at least some part of Harrow's pain and frustration in having people (including herself) die for her.

And of course one of the first things we hear from Gideon when she assumes control of Harrow's body is that she felt rejected etc etc but. She must also understand. She's not stupid, and though she keeps harping on Harrow's lobotomy/choice to reject her, almost seems to go so far as to push that belief as a forefront for her own pain and to cover up what she knows about Harrow's.

Even if she doesn't remember specifics, that part of Harrow's soul must have left a significant impression on her. And in that quote to Crux, she's mad at him for her own reasons and she's mad at him for Harrow's.

[iviarellereads]

Nona the Ninth, Chapter 25

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For detail on The Locked Tomb coverage and the index, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

(Slashed Gideon Nav icon)(1) In which we get to know someone familiar, again, but from the outside.

Pyrrha's gun goes ker-klunk again, and Kiriona turns to see her and greets her with "Long time no drown."

“Ninth?” said Crown, sounding almost nervous. Pyrrha ignored her, and said: “He brought you back. He’s made a revenant out of you.” “Yope,” said the corpse prince.(2)

Pyrrha is disbelieving. There shouldn't have been enough left, even for John, and then he only brings her back… like this? As a corpse?(3)

Kiriona interrupts to tell Pal to put away the syringe, before she breaks Babs's arm, but he says she's still holding him in place. She asks if he's going to stick her with it and run, but he asks if she knows how syringes work.

Crown comes back to interrupt again with her minor existential crisis about "the Ninth" being alive-ish. The corpse lets go of Pal, then sits up, and gets herself standing with surprising ease.

What shocked Nona was not that the corpse moved. It was the way in which she moved. Nona was so distracted that she couldn’t stop watching. She had never seen anyone move like that before.(4) “Nope, and nope,” she said. “I’m Prince Kiriona Gaia(5) the First, Her Divine Highness, First Lieutenant of the Cohort, Emperor’s Life Guards, non-auxiliary—honorary title but who cares—heir to the Emperor Divine, first of the Tower Princes. And I’m mega dead.” “John, you mad bastard,” said Pyrrha softly. She hadn’t taken either hand off her gun.

Kiriona runs through the list of those present with snarky comments like "Mumfucker Prime". Pal asks how long she's been awake, and Kiriona says, the whole time.(6) She's been playing possum,(7) very cleverly.

Nona was indignant enough at Prince Kiriona Gaia’s whole demeanour, but this last piece of self-congratulation was too much to bear. “I knew it!” she burst out. “You didn’t fool me—I saw you looking at me, back in the other room! You know, when I—” “Yes, congratulations,” said the Prince sarcastically. “No, babycakes, I didn’t fool you. Who is this literal goddamn infant? Can someone give her like a rusk(8) or something and shut her up?”

Nona opens her mouth to say "the worst thing she had ever said", but Pal gives her a pleading look, and says this isn't making sense. He asks Kiriona why Ianthe hid her away. Kiriona says Ianthe shut her off so she wouldn't screw up the Sixth House retrieval mission, and was very angry Kiriona stowed away on the mission at all.

Kiriona blows a raspberry, presumably at the thought of Ianthe, but Pal takes from her explanation that she rode through the River. Pyrrha says that's not possible, not with a soul attached to her.

The corpse prince tilted her head to one side, like a curious bird. “You haven’t been in the River lately, have you?” she said. “What’s that meant to mean?” “Guess you’ll find out at some point,” said the Prince. “Anyway. You’re going to the Ninth House, right? I want in.”

Cam asks why, and Kiriona says, why not? Nostalgia, maybe. Pal says if she's been awake the whole time, she knows what they're doing, and why isn't she trying to stop them, for the Emperor? Kiriona smiles, hungrily, and not nicely. She asks if Pal wants to fight her. Pal says no and stops Cam from advancing to do just that. He says he considers her a friend, which makes Nona angry that someone as good as Pal could be friends with someone as bad as Kiriona.(9) Pal asks what Kiriona wants out of this.

Kiriona considers the question, then says she doesn't care or want much of anything anymore, she just wants to be where things are happening.

“She’s lying,” said Nona instantly. With all the white noise coming from the corpse prince, she couldn’t tell exactly where the lie was, but it was buried deep around her smile.

Kiriona tells Nona to shut her stolen mouth, Cam tells Kiriona to watch it, and Nona's heart flutters at Cam's defence of her. Pal asks again, and Kiriona says what does it matter, she just wants to go back. Nona can't detect a lie in this, so shrugs at the others. Crown says they'll need her for their work anyway.

At this, Kiriona invites them to all come at her, and try to draw blood. She even offers her arm, when Cam twitches with eagerness to do just that. Cam steps forward deliberately and presses the syringe to Kiriona's skin, where the needle snaps in half. Cam stumbles, Kiriona reaches to steady her, then realizes what she's doing and shoves Cam away, to land in Pal's arms.

The Prince stared at them. Her eyes weren’t like Nona’s at all now: they were hard and dead and bright, like something that had been dug up. “My father has made my body’s bones denser than titanium plex,” said the Crown Prince coldly. “My father has made my skin turn away bullets. I am the perfect sword hand and the final expression of the art of the Nine Houses. Don’t you get it? I am the Emperor’s construct.” Pyrrha said— “Shame he didn’t get some spackle for your extra holes, right?” “Those are my speed holes. They help me go fast,”(10) said Kiriona quickly.

Cam asks what would have happened if she'd gotten the sample. Kiriona says her blood burns to ash instantly outside her body, unless it's sustained with thalergy. Pal gives her an odd look, and she says she knows, like, five necromancy facts now.

This comment makes Pal look like he's been slapped, but he shakes it off and says the BOE would cuff Kiriona "in about sixteen different places" if they knew she was up and abouts, and asks how she feels about that.

Kiriona turned her body to look at them. Nona couldn’t quite believe that they couldn’t all see it; but they weren’t watching, goggle-eyed, they hadn’t even seemed to notice. It was in Kiriona’s every movement—the bright, swift flexions of her arms, and the way she swung her legs, big and brash, and the weirdly easy, light grace with which she moved her dead body. Nona had never seen anyone so sad in her whole short life. It made her nearly afraid to die.(11) “Nobody locks me up anywhere,” said Kiriona.

=====

(1) Gideon, or Kiriona if you prefer, isn't quite herself anymore. And, this book in particular makes me feel real weird about what to call characters. Since she calls herself Kiriona Gaia here, until or unless she does otherwise, I'm going to stick with that in the notes, the same way I've been referring to Crown instead of Corona mostly, but leave Gideon Nav in the tags for consistency. I'm still of two minds on how to refer to the Lyctors and their cavs, given we can guess John changed their names for his own… convenience? amusement? But either way, Kiriona asks for her friends to use a name, even if she says it's okay if they still call her the other one, and I'm gonna respect her choice here where it makes sense to. (2) I read this as an affirmative (he brought her back) and a negative (that she's a revenant). It's entirely likely I'm incorrect, though. (3) This also contributes to my theory about Kiriona's displacement, from the previous chapter. I don't think John had anything to do with bringing her back, except on the genetic inheritance level. Even if she says something here that contradicts it, who's to say she's not either telling what she was told, or protecting him… or herself. (And, he may not have done the deed, but he would absolutely gladly take credit for it if the details are muddy in her memory.) (4) Move like what, exactly, Nona? What does her body language tell you? (I need to know!) (5) Kiriona is how the Maori language would interpret "Gideon" with the vowels and consonants native to it. (Think along the lines of that Hawaiian Christmas song, Mele Kalikimaka. Similar origin, as both Pacific Islands, but a different evolution since they split.) Also, side note, remember in GtN when Gideon said "I fealt the Emperor with every bone in my body." The SCREAM I let out on my first read when I hit this part. Also, Gaia, the feminine form of John's Gaius, even though that name was adopted later in his life, in his reign. (6) The whole time she's been on this planet… or the whole time she was gone? (7) Play possum - pretend to be asleep, unconscious, or dead when threatened. (8) A rusk is a small twice-baked piece of bread or cake, used in some places as a teether for babies. (9) Why does Nona think Kiriona is bad? Is it the lying? The anger, maybe. Put yourself in Kiriona's shoes, though: you've been stuck in a gilded cage, finally manage to sneak out on a nice dangerous mission to get the blood flowing in your actual corpse body again, you play dead for days out of boredom, and then THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE walks in your bedroom door and kisses you… then reveals she's an infant soul in your love's body and has no idea how much it meant to you or why. Anyone would be angry! (10) Twofold reference. Number one, The Simpsons 6x15, with regard to bulletholes in a car. It's maybe not exactly a meme because trying to search for it without knowing the specific reference to add keywords is a pain in the absolute ass, but it IS a reference. Second, in GtN, "They would have given her an interesting array of new airholes for speed." The setup and the callback. Bonus: I highlight a lot of quotes in my ebooks, and this one got not just a highlight, but a comment: oh fuck off lmao (11) Kiriona is the saddest girl Nona's ever seen... why would that make Nona afraid to die?

[moon-ursidae]

THE MANDALORIAN 3x05 SPOILERS

i wasn’t gonna do posts like these tonight but it’s lowkey easier haha ANYWAY THE PIRATE HERE WE GO

hmmm talkin about the darksaber in the recap👀

okay hold on they’re really shifting focus to bo katan and showcasing how good of a leader she is. and how she’s merging pretty well with children of the watch and the covert. and how she’s the only one that’s seen the mythosaur.

idk how i feel about it tbh

bc there’s so much fucking potential for din djarin and if that gets thrown out the fucking window for someone else to take over i’ll be pretty pissed

but i don’t know this is just me speculating

we’ll see where the season goes

ANYWAY

nevarro!

lmao the piece of the fucking ig statue missing

whoever is doing the va for gorian shard has a really cool voice

also sounds familiar

greef has grown hella i like it

OOOOO THIS INTRO IS COOL

this psychedelic music playing goes hard

I SAW DEBORAH CHOW

WAIT I HAVEN’T WATCHED REBELS BUT ISN’T THIS ZEB? is that what his name is?

KANE AHHHHHH

katy m. o’brian is so attractive holy shit

she knows exactly what she’s doing by stepping into this fucking office

moff gideon never made it to trial?👀

hmmm

IMPERIAL WAY OF THINKING HAHA TEAAA

she’s scary bro oh my god

poor greef dude he worked so hard to rebuild nevarro and it’s being destroyed in front of him and the citizens :(

HOLD UP HOW THE FUCK DOES TEVA KNOW WHERE THE COVERT IS

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BO’S SHIP

blue boy💀💀

GOD DIN WALKING THROUGH THE MANDALORIANS WAS SO ATTRACTIVE

teva’s a real one

sorry i’m giggling at the way that they have to hold the fucking forge hammer to have their turn to speak in front of the covert

like i’m just thinking about how funny it is that it’s basically “MOM SAID IT’S MY TURN. SEE? I HAVE THE HAMMER IT’S MY TURN”

oh god i’m scared of what paz has to say bc he’s gonna be good at convincing the covert to not help nevarro

or i’ll be surprised who knows

one tiny foundling that means more to din than you’ll ever know

damn i knew he was gonna argue

oh? oh??

spilling tea at the function??

he had me in the first half i’m not gonna lie

DIN DJARIN NAME DROP WOOO

again, showing bo’s leadership and tactical skills

“you can be heroes” YEA WE CAN BE HEROES JUST FOR ONE DAYYY

the school is the cantina again :(

i’ll never not smile like an idiot when i hear that fucking flute cue signaling my beloved din djarin

“i like those odds” NABSHSJDHKAKSGDKSBWKBDLWBSOSBSOSBSKDBKFBWOWHDKSJWKDBDLWBSPSBWKDB

YELLING

YELLING

THERE ARE SO MANY MANDOS THIS IS SO COOL

they’re also hella attractive

i have a type lmao

again, i’ve missed din djarin showing these bitches up when it comes to dog fights

“din, what’s your position?” HEARING HIS NAME BEING SAID SO CASUALLY STILL THROWS ME OFF

paz really said “hold my beer” goddamn

THAT’S A BIG ASS BLASTER

oh shit’s lowkey goin sideways

LMAO “he’s above you! he’s below you!” AND THEN DIN TAKING HIM TF OUT

oh my god the armorer is about to fuck shit up

the n1 is sexy but i still miss the crest

god i love the music

oh shit they really have a ton of land now

OOF THAT SHOT OF DIN NODDING AT KARGA?? H O T

the old covert :(

AND THE OLD MUSIC AHHHHHH

i’m seeing a lot of parallels from season 1 here 👀

“remove your helmet” HUH??

HUH??????

I AM CONFUSION

god kate is so pretty

“you have walked both worlds. you are the one who can unite us.” not din?? the one that holds the darksaber??

they’re really setting this up huh?

AND NOW SHE’S OUT WITHOUT HER HELMET ON??

“bo-katan walks both worlds” WAIT A DAMN MINUTE. WAIT. A. DAMN. MINUTE.

like every plot line they set up for DIN to have is being erased??

it’s all being moved to where those are now bo- katan’s plot lines??

she’s going to unite the mandalorians?? why does din even have the fucking darksaber??

she walks both worlds?? so why the fuck did din risk his life in the mines to redeem himself after the armorer cast him out for being an apostate???

the sudden switch up??? i-

HUH???

“she can bring all tribes together. it is time to retake mandalore.” why the fuck did they set this season up like din was going to do this.

the titular character is being moved to the sidelines in his own show??

they really said “din’s gonna move boba fett to the sidelines in his own show, so now din is gonna get moved to the sideline by bo katan in his own show”

idk i didn’t really like it tbobf either, as much as i love din. but that appearance and that story arc from tbobf where he got grogu back should have been saved for this season.

i’ll save that shit for later i still gotta finish the damn episode

whatcha find there teva?

details are classified???

new republic is pretty fuckin suspicious

NEW REPUBLIC PRISON TRANSPORT

SO MOFF REALLY NEVER FUCKING MADE IT TO TRIAL

damn this is lowkey graphic for disney w the bodies floating

WAIT I’M SO CONFUSED

TAKEN BY MANDOS??

fuuuck he’s gonna be suspicious of din’s covert

shhhiiiiiiittt

i still haven’t finished clone wars or watched any of rebels so i have no idea who these mandos could be other than death watch

i’ll find out! ONTO THE NEXT EP

[nonasbirthday]

PROJECTING MUCH, GRIDDLE??

[image ID in alt text]

[jesse-is-inarguably-purple]

“Good. Die. Die for her…it’s the only goddamn good you’ll ever do her. It’s all any of you ever knew how to give her. You could have lived for her…but you didn’t know how.” Gideon, Kiriona, my dearest, darling, you literally did die for her and you just begged to die for her again less than a page ago…

[darthwheezely]

dating fred weasley and being a ravenclaw

wow i am a SIMP for this man! this ain’t new info but! he is truly such a divine man and like…yeah i had to- also this might be longer because Fred has a lot more things to cover in terms of this and his own issues sksksjjs

warnings: light smut, angst at parts, wicked hot men named frederick gideon weasley, mentions of sexual degrading and not the hot or kinky kind :/ basically dudes being scumbags

people that might like this (?): @whiz-bangs78 @wand3ringr0s3 @gcdric @thatdumbbitchxx @pansydaisy​@vogueweasley @slytherinsunrise @thehufflepuffwife @theweasleyslut dm me to be on the twins taglist or for requests for blurbs/ships/one shots :)

fred thinks you’re an actual literal on god 111% angel sent by god

i swear-

he basically runs into (…literally) when escaping from filch, and knocks into you coming out of transfiguration

and i shit you not, he catches you by the waist like mid dip

oh my GOD please I’m in love with him

Fred Weasley, professional jackass, looked down at you hand still on your waist. He grinned at you and winked and you swore to god you heard the sparkle sound effect. “Hullo, gorgeous.” He heard filch scream “WEASLEY!” and broke away from you, pulling you up and pushing you off of him, leading a running filch to slip in the middle of the hallway, the hall erupting in laughter: including you. Fred inhaled harshly, heart pounding at you laughing at something he managed to pull off. “I’ll…I’ll see you again, yeah?” You froze smiling in place. “Um…yeah…yeah you will?” “Yeah?” He grinned. “Yeah.” With another wink he sped off down the hall…

he couldn’t stop thinking about the wicked hot girl in the hall

god what house was she he thought?

oh shit she had blue on fuck she’s a ravenclaw he thinks. why does he think like that?

she’s outta my goddamn league, he thought before he could stop himself

“Freddie, I know you’re not giving up on the idea of this girl this easy.” George shook his head smirking in the Hall.

“I’m not giving up on anything - she’s just…too good for me.”

“Mate, you know nothing about her except how her eyes ‘sparkled like the stars’ or some whack Tolstoy shit like that…besides, you always did love a challenge, yeah?” At that Fred grinned.

“Georgie, I was thinking exactly the same thing…”

frederick gideon weasley knew what he had to do

FUCKING RUN AROUND THE CASTLE AND LOOK FOR YOU DUH

i swear he probably skipped like a half a day of classes just running from classroom to classroom tryna find your gorgeous self

he also probably was like “anyone seen a literal angel around” and everyone was just like ~please shoot this kid he cannot be deadass~

anyway, he’s starting to run out of breath guys, pobrecito is about to give up for the day and throw in the towel but then

then, fellas and foals-

he sees you

sitting in the center of the quidditch pitch

reading a book and writing in your notebook

and god when i tell you he physically had his ass floored

i mean, Jesus Christ, it’s the way you were just serenely sitting in HIS favorite place in hogwarts, not even in the stands, just absorbing life in the ACTUAL PITCH just

just being there

“What are you doing here, love?” You look up and see Fred, chest heaving, rosy cheeked and fucking glorious. He looked otherworldly with the sun at his back, seemingly glowing. “Knitting a sweater.” You said coolly, and gave a small smile. He bit his lip and made his way over to you and sat down in front of you.

“I’d like that sweater somewhere else, gorgeous.”

“Where, in your mum’s dirty laundry?” He scoffed

“No silly, on me but I’ll take that option too ;)”

You scoffed back and rolled your eyes. “On you? Please, this is made to fit an actual person with a body, Fred.”

“And I don’t have a good enough body for it?”

You bit your lip, gathering courage to look straight back at him. “I wouldn’t know I haven’t seen it.”

and that alone has Fred Weasley garnering a massive tent in his pants

He gulped. “Whats your name, darling?”

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.”

He grinned, blushing wildly. “Y/N, you’re never getting rid of me now”

that, my dear, was the truth at its finest

for the first time, he’d found a woman that matched his energy

his banter his intellectual mind was finally satisfied by this beautiful, honest, blunt girl that made him

HIM, THE MAN THAT CAN NEVER SHUT THE FUCK UP, be still.

be quiet. be at peace

“freddie, don’t fucking prank first years you’re better than that”

“Fred, please don’t be a bully. You’re not an unkind person so don’t act that way, okay? Come on”

it’s about three to five days of just non stop flirting

constantly leaving him breathless and without a rebuttal, again something no one has ever been able to do

after this period, he’s eating in the great hall, not having talked to you today and bouncing his knees violently

and he sees you get up and leave the hall

this prompts him to get up and run after you

“Y/N!” You turn to see him running full speed behind you, and you smile widely, blushing a fair ton as he stops in front of you, chest heaving. Your smile falters as he doesn’t say anything “Fred, w-what’s wrong?” He then bites his lip “I’m sorry but I have to” and presses his mouth to yours. You kiss back immediately, wrapping your arms around his neck as he backs you up against the wall. The kiss is hungry, passionate, and after a few moments he pulls off you and leans his forehead to yours. “I need you.” He says hoarsely. “And I need YOU, Freddie.” He smiles and you wrap your legs around his waist…

from that moment, you two are inseparable

we are talking handsy too

oh fuck this about to get fluffy as hell

freddie basically waits until you’re out of class and then will pin you against the wall and kiss you like he hasn’t seen you in years

“My angel, it’s been far too long.” He says breathlessly, smiling wide before giving you a kiss attack, sending ammunition of kisses all around your face, making you giggle uncontrollably. “My love, it’s only been an hour,” you say in between full body laughter. He then stops, looking at you very seriously. “Darling, that simply will not do,” he clucks and then throws you over his shoulder, sending you into fits of laughter again as he takes you to your next class.

you and fred have so much sex

empty classrooms

in his dorm

in your dorm

in the locker rooms

in the library

“Freddie, harder baby, please” you gasp out as he’s thrusting inside of you at a rhythmic pace, him slipping into you like hot oil, skin slapping as he has you in the shower. “How much do you need me, angel? Cmon love I wanna hear your words...” “yes, yes I need you please” you moan as he hits a new angle “That’s my princess, taking me so well, do you love it when I fill you up? Fuck you so good you can’t walk?” You nod and throw your head back. “Freddie, I’m gonna come” “Good girl, princess, come all over my cock” He growls setting a faster and harder pace, as he chants your name like a hymnal, his hips and movements getting sloppier as he finally releases into you, chest heaving and presses his lips to your forehead.

“Where should we try next, gorgeous, hmm? I think snape’s office should do it, he won’t even know us from the grease stains from his nose” this earns him a smack on the arm

fred marks you up constantly too

wants everyone to see how much his “good little princess” really feels

anything that says “I choose/belong to fred weasley” he’ll make you do

and you adore it and think it’s hot as fuck

he’s also marked his name onto your thighs and boobs before

george basically accepts the fact that you’re his new baby sister too, and when fred isn’t there will protect you like it ashsajdsahjsa

by this i mean fred has employed him to (but mainly george just does it because he loves you too)

but basically

during potions, draco slides in next to you and propositions you:

“How about we strike a deal, Y/L/N?” He looks at you smugly. You roll your jaw. “Yeah I agree, you shut the fuck up and let me pass our project, and I get all the credit without you destroying my handiwork?” He flares red and grabs your wrist. “I know Weaselbee the fourth probably tastes like the rest of his family - trash - but how I about I let you try something different, hmm?” You immediately pull away from him when he releases and make an attempt to focus back on your book. 

fred obviously hears about this because some slytherin guys in the hallway are talking about how much Y/N wants to suck Malfoy’s dick

he’s not stupid, he knows you get sexualized by that dumbass constantly, even before y’all started dating

basically he finds draco in the boys bathroom, corners him, and beats the fuck out of him 

“if you ever get near my girlfriend again, i swear to godric i won’t be so nice next time - don’t wanna get your balls cut off before 17 do you?” 

oh and he’s stupid hot when he’s mad btw but we all been knew

he finds you where he always finds you once you start dating, in his dorm stop his bed

He swallows thickly at the sight of you clearly upset, watching you sit up immediately tears welling in your throat as you begin to apologize. “Freddie, love, I didn’t do anything I promise I didn’t want him to come onto me-“ “Y/N, it’s never your fault. You have to trust me with that I...I hate seeing people hurt you love.” He pulls your body into him whne he reaches the bed, touching you like you’re porcelain, careful not to break you. “I know I get violent and angry or pouty when guys do that to you because I feel like you’ll either choose someone else or I can’t protect you and...you mean everything to me, my angel.” He whispers into your hair, tears stealing on his cheeks. “I promise no one will hurt you anymore because I love you and loving someone means you do anything for them.” He babbles like a small boy, convincing himself of everything until he realizes he’s said it and he inhales. “Y/N y-you don’t have to say it ba-“ “I want to say it back. Remember? I love you and I need you, Fred.” You look up at him softly, chin on his chest and he smiles through tears on his face. “And I love you and I need YOU, my love.”

fred knows you love him and choose him over everyone but again

he gets insecure

in the way George is scared people won’t see him as Fred

fred is afraid you’ll find someone better

someone more stable and less quick tempered

you guys have fights sometimes that end in frustration or angry sex

but fred is always there an hour later sitting outside your dorm door praying to god you forgive him for his mistake

he’s never abusive or malicious

he just gets impulsive with pranks or doesn’t consider feelings sometimes

ON TO THE BURROW!!!!

molly is so thankful for you and hugs you immediately as you walk through the door whispering

“Thank you for making my son feel how he deserves” and your eyes water lightly murmuring a thank you

you instantly catch bill’s attention as he notices the way fred is so much calmer and confident with you around

he seems more sure of himself, and not as angry

his temper too is calmer with your presence, as if the very essence of you is soothing to all youre around

he is, so so in love with you

and yes he can be brash

and yes he can be insecure

and yes he can be impulsive

but yes he would do anything for you

but yes he sees you like no one else can

but yes he knows you struggle and he wants to be there

fred weasley is absolutely incandescently in love with you

and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[gveret-fic]

A lil fic in which Gideon showers with her clothes on, changes in the dark, applies her face paint out of a manual, and doesn't touch herself ever. Well. Hardly ever.

HtN spoilers ahead!

---

A bit anticlimactic, if you ask me, after slaying brain melting horror bees and swimming right out of hell, for my next great big challenge to be trying to figure out how to take a dump in a prudish little nun’s body without compromising its modesty.

Not to put too fine a point on it or anything, my sombre bathroom break micromanager, but you really didn’t stick the landing on this one. You had a letter for basically every contingency, like you had one for if God sneezed really hard and blew out the sun, I’m pretty sure, and then mine was basically just ‘fuck you, return to sender’. You just went and parked your porsche in my landing pad with the blasters still on and didn’t even bother to leave the DRY CLEANING ONLY tag on the upholstery. I had to come up with a virtue-preserving game plan all on my lonesome, you know.

And I've been such a good girl, Harrow, you'd be proud. Well, at least you'd be such an unexpectedly small, tiny, miniscule, astonishingly negligible amount of pissed off that it's basically pride at that point, right.

Don't get me wrong, it was a logistical nightmare. Ever tried to shower in multiple robes plus what I must assume are, like, pantaloons? The sonic flaps it all the fuck around, and let me tell you, getting spanked by heavy Ninth vestments is now officially off my kink list. Now, the other option is wet dog trapped in straightjacket, and I'm not too keen on that one either. But I stuck with it. It takes like 20 minutes, no joke, to struggle out of all your stupid layers in the dark, with my eyes closed, without touching any of your most hallowed skin. But I've got a knack for it now, you know? If I ever get the chance to get a lil frisky, maybe with a hot ghost or something I don't know, I can totally impress her with my wild 100% contact free striptease skills.

What I'm saying is, I've been such a super duper chaste and meticulous and ephemeral little make believe nun it's like I was never even here. So you gotta take that into consideration, Harrow, when you pass your terrible judgment once I tell you how I've sinned.

So, it happened when I was putting your face paint on. It wasn’t half bad, either. Really, it was half good. I’ve been practicing. I found this horrible little book full of the gnarliest, creepiest, just most hideous skull faces, and they all had these pretentious titles like The Palm of the Storm or The Young Boy’s Booger. Just your style, basically.

But I was looking at your face in the mirror—that’s the way paint application goes, Harrow, don’t pout—and I got stuck on your pinched, bloodless lips for some reason, and I forgot for a moment that it was me in your muscles, and I just thought, wow, you looked so sad. You always looked so goddamn sad, and no one ever did a fucking thing about it, least of all you, and in that moment I was so angry about it, I could smack you.

So naturally I reached out and I brushed your knuckle gently over your cheek. And lo, I wasn’t struck down on the spot. That gave me a bit of a confidence boost, I suppose. I ran your thumb under your eye, just a little avuncular half circle while thinking just the purest fucking thoughts, and it came away wet.

Really got you going, that one little barely there swipe. You needed this real bad, Nonagesimus. I needed this, too. We were gagging for it. We were crying for it. I needed you to be touched gently, so bad, and I needed even badder to be the one doing the touching. I knew you wouldn't want that, of course, don't feel the need to defend your honor. This was my best compromise, okay? I didn't have a lot to work with. This way you wouldn't really be touched and I wouldn't really be touching, but maybe we'd both get a little something out of it anyway.

This is maybe a good time to confess those thoughts weren't so totally super pure. They were maybe a little muddier, a little earthier, you know. Harrow, listen, I've been thinking a lot about your body, what with living in it for months and having only the one made up magazine to look at and being balls to the wall in love and all. Sorry. So when I tell you I've been thinking about running my fingertip over your eyebrow from glabella to sphenoid, what I'm saying is I've fantasized about the texture of each one of your big black goddamn eyebrow hairs so much my finger's never not tingly anymore. And when I wiped your eye with a tiny knuckle and ran that smooth little fingertip along your real ass eyebrow, Harrow, there was a definite fucking tingle, and I didn't fucking stop.

I traced the smooth plane of your frontal bone, the proud arch of your brow ridge. I dragged your fingertips over your temple and into the mass of your sweaty, overlong hair. The side of your finger grazed the shell of your ear, and you shivered—your ears are so sensitive, Nonageaimus, I thought this stuff only happened in porn—and I felt the full, terrifying shape of your skull in my hand. I cupped the back of your sore-ass neck in a palm and I squeezed just a little, just to let us know we were held, and I worked our fingertips into those nonexistent traps that still somehow managed to be clenched tighter than a stoma that's munched down on one too many emperors. I kneaded them good until they loosened just a bit, and we were still crying like a little bitch.

I squeezed your shoulder, the clavicle pressing sharply into our palm, and I stroked down your bicep, which did not deserve the name, by the way, and I brushed the inside of your elbow and I dragged the underside of your bitten fingernails up your forearm and over that terrifyingly delicate wrist and your doll sized soft palm and then I held your fucking hand.

Yeah, I laced our fucking fingers together, Harrow. Eat me.

I could feel your heart beating in our interdigital folds, I was holding your hand so hard and so intertwiney. And we were definitely feeling some kind of way just then. I had to sit down on your bony ass, your eyes leaking, your shoulders shaking, as I was having just the most mortifying little breakdown over holding my own hand.

I'm sorry, Harrow. I wanted to hug you a lot, these past few months. There were so many moments I wanted to reach outside of you, all like blerghgrgh sudden gorgeous beefy arm bursting out of your stomach to smack Shittier Gideon in the balls or give Shittier Tridentarius a purple nurple. I wanted to give you a pat on the head, tell you've been a good good doggie and you can take a lil break now. Wanted to rub your shoulders and arms all over, force a bit of warmth into em even if I've given up on muscle. Wanted to brace the heel of my palm at the small of your back, squeeze your hips and pull em back, run a hand along that spine to make it proud again, just to give you some support, just to see you stand up straight. Wanted to rub the frown right off your brow, poke your lil cheeks and make you snarl, give you something nice and tough to bite on. But mostly I just wanted to hold you.

I wanted to wrap you tight, so that you'd become a compact little package with well defined edges and maybe then you could open it all up and let it out. Only in my big stupid arms, I'd think selfishly, like some sort of grand duke of self delusion, would you finally feel safe enough to cry.

Nah. Who was I kidding? It was me who was crying. It was me who wanted to be comforted, to be touched kindly, to have her hand held, and it was only me who was getting anything out of doing this stupid weird creepy bullshit. I wasn't giving you shit, Nonagesimus. I just wanted to hold your hand.

I didn't let go, though. Again, Harrow, sorry. Your body didn't care that it was only you, only me. Your skin and your flesh and all those bits you didn't care about wanted this too, probably. The pressure, and the warmth, the illusion or the weird roundabout reality of another person who cares about you. Maybe I'm making excuses again. But I care about you, Harrow. You'll believe that much, won't you? I care about your body. I care about all the non-skeleton parts of you, even. Baffling, I know.

So I sat on your ass, and I bent your head over our joined hands, and I cried, and I didn't let go.

[bytheangell]

Reclaiming Power

(S02E13 inspired fic) (Read on AO3)

There’s a knock on the door of Jace’s room and he knows who’s on the other side even before Alec’s voice calls hesitantly through the wooden barrier between them.

“Jace? Are you in there?”

Jace considers not answering. He’s avoided Alec all day since Imogen told him that he was going to be named the replacement Head of the Institute. He knows he has to tell Alec at some point - sooner rather than later, since Alec deserves to know before it’s announced to the entirety of the Institute the next day. The problem is that Jace doesn’t know how he’s going to look Alec in the eye and break the news.

“Jace?”

Jace sighs. “Yeah,” he answers, still making no move to get up and open the door.

“...can I come in?” Alec adds, sounding even more uncertain. Jace wonders how much of his anxiety is coming through the bond for Alec to feel.

“Yeah,” Jace repeats, this time standing up and walking over to unlock and open the door.

“What’s wrong?” Alec asks before he even clears the doorframe, and Jace winces. Not ‘how are you?’ or even an ‘are you okay?’, but straight to ‘what’s wrong?’, implying he already knows that something is wrong. Of course, he does.

“That obvious?” Jace stalls, wandering over to the window so his back is to Alec. He hates this. he hates this so goddamn much.

Alec doesn’t comment. Instead, he closes the door behind him before sitting down on the edge of Jace’s bed in a clear sign that he isn’t going anywhere until they talk, no matter how long that ends up being. Jace isn’t naive enough to think he can wait this out - on some of Jace’s more stubborn nights Alec has sat in silence for hours until Jace was ready to talk about whatever was on his mind.

The silence stretches between them for a minute, and then two, and into a third before Jace finally speaks.

“It should be you, Alec. I told Imogen it should be you, but she wouldn’t listen.” Jace still can’t bring himself to say the words, like maybe if he can avoid speaking the title aloud it might be less real.

“What should be-” Alec starts, confused without any context, then trails off. Jace is still facing away from him but he can picture the look of recognition that crosses Alec’s face as his parabatai finishes that thought with a quiet, “Oh.”

Worse, Jace feels a flash of disappointment across their bond before Alec manages to reel it back in.

“Congratulations, Jace.”

“No,” Jace shakes his head. “We’re not celebrating this. I don’t deserve it. You do.”

There’s the sound of shuffling behind him, booted footsteps that stop only inches away before Alec’s arms slide around his waist, pulling Jace back against his chest. The touch, the pressure of Alec’s gentle but firm embrace, grounds him from the spiral he was about to enter - the same one he’s experienced more often than not during the majority of the day.

“This isn’t your fault,” Alec reassures him. “We both know that position was yours from the moment the world found out you’re a Herondale.”

It’s true. Not too long ago, when everyone thought he was a Morgenstern, Imogen would’ve as easily seen him returned to the Clave dead as she would’ve alive. Now she’s just as quick to appoint him the Head of an entire Institute, all because of a father he never met and a bloodline he feels no allegiance to.

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to be a Herondale,” Jace mutters. “I’m a Lightwood. And if this Institute goes to a Lightwood, it should be you, not me.”

Jace feels the rise and fall of Alec’s shoulders against his back when he shrugs. “If it makes you feel any better, even if it wasn’t you, I still don’t think it’d be me. Not after… everything.”

‘Everything’ being walking out of his own wedding to be with Magnus, and Madzie breaking into the Institute for Valentine, and the demon possessions, and his parents’ history with the Circle… though they both know all of that is just an excuse to punish him for choosing Magnus over one of their own and showing sympathy toward Downworlders.

“Not really.” Unsurprisingly, that doesn’t make Jace feel any better. In fact, it only makes him feel worse for fitting so seamlessly into this broken system of theirs as a perfect soldier. Jace pulls away from Alec and sits on the edge of his bed. Alec follows close behind, sitting next to him a moment later.

“You’re going to be a great Head,” Alec says. “And I’ll have your back every step of the way. You can do this.”

As comforting as it is to hear Alec’s reassurances, Jace doesn’t doubt that he can do this. He’s a smooth talker, a skilled fighter, and one of the best soldiers of their generation. He can give orders as well as he follows them... when he feels like it. And he’s never backed down from a challenge, especially when his personal reputation is on the line. No, he’s positive he can do this, but that isn’t the point.

“Sure I can, but I shouldn’t have to,” Jace sighs, sounding defeated. Talking about it isn’t helping, especially since there’s nothing either of them can do about it. “It isn’t fair.”

Alec shrugs again, looking about as helpless as Jace feels. “What about our lives has ever been fair?”

---

This is ridiculous. The longer Jace stands in front of Imogen as she addresses the Shadowhunters the more he fights the urge to simply walk away before she can announce him the future Head. He shouldn’t be here. Looking at the faces of Shadowhunters much better equipped to run an Institute than him, he knows there’s a very long list of people who should be in his place right now… and he knows that Alec is at the top of that list.

He woke up resigned to playing out this blatant favoritism because he couldn’t imagine what else he could do at this point, but at this moment he has a sudden flash of inspiration… or insanity, depending on how it plays out. Jace figures he’ll find out which way the scales tip soon enough.

“In this time of crisis, it is essential that we maintain strong leadership. That is why-”

“Actually, if I may?” Jace says suddenly, interrupting Imogen with a disarming smile, not giving her a chance to answer one way or the other before turning back to speak to the Shadowhunters gathered before him. “This Institute has been through a lot lately. These most recent attacks on Shadowhunters notwithstanding, we’ve been tried and tested time and time again the past few weeks. And, time and time again, one of us has risen to the occasion and proven himself a true and dedicated Shadowhunter, son, brother, and most of all, trusted leader of our people.”

At this point Imogen realizes what he’s doing, and moves to stop him, eyes wide in a satisfying mixture of panic and anger. “Jace-”

“And after sharing my opinion, Imogen agreed. That’s why it is our honor to name Alexander Gideon Lightwood Head of the New York Institute.”

Applause mixes with murmurs with all eyes darting from Jace to Imogen to Alec. Alec, to his credit, keeps a mostly neutral expression despite the surprise and hint of panic Jace feels spike in their bond. After the clapping dies down all eyes turn back to Imogen. For a moment he’s afraid she’s going to take back everything he said, but then he watches as the flash of anger from before melts into a bitter resignation, lips pursed tight. Jace knows the position he’s put her in - if she calls Jace a liar now, she ruins his credibility. No one will know whether they can believe him or trust any order that comes from him.

He’s left her with no choice, not if they both want to come out of this with their heads held high and Jace’s newly established association to the Herondale name a respectable one.

“Yes. As my grandson so generously stated, there’s no one else better suited to run this institute than Mr. Lightwood, who will take over upon my departure back to Idris,” Imogen says. Jace breathes a sigh of relief.

“Dismissed.”

Jace tries to make a beeline for Alec, but a firm grip on his shoulder stops him dead in his tracks. “Not you,” Imogen says, her voice low so only he can hear. She waits until everyone else has scattered before speaking again. “What do you think you’re doing, pulling a stunt like that?”

“Giving this Institute the leadership it deserves,” Jace says. “We both know it. And don’t worry, when he’s the best Head the New York Institute’s ever had, you’ll get all the credit for appointing him. It’s a win-win.”

“We’ll see about that,” Imogen mutters, turning to leave in a huff.

Alec is by Jace’s side in seconds.

“What the hell was that, Jace?!”

“That was me stopping Imogen from making a huge mistake. Congratulations,” Jace says, an echo of Alec’s sentiment from the night before. Except this time the word is full of nothing but genuine joy - no hesitation, no disappointment.

“There’s no way she’s going to let that stand,” Alec insists.

“Sure she will. She can’t go back on it now. In a few days, you’re going to be right where you deserved to be all along. I meant every word of what I said up there, too. You’ve earned this,” Jace says, clapping Alec on the back.

He hopes Alec believes him. This isn’t just some ‘spit in the face of authority’ move, or a selfish desire to avoid responsibility and paperwork. Alec deserves this, and Jace wants nothing more than for Alec to get everything he deserves in this life and beyond. After two decades of constantly drawing the short straw, he’s earned this chance to properly show everyone else what Jace already knows: that he’s damn good at what he does.

Alec returns the motion, pulling Jace into a quick hug. “Thanks, Jace.”

“Don’t mention it,” Jace grins. “Now c’mon, boss, let’s get back to work. We’ve got a rogue warlock to track.”

[popculturebuffet]

Scottrospective: Scott Pilgrim Vs the Universe or So Sad So Very Very Sad

Hello all you happy Scottaholics! And welcome back to Scottrospective, my 8 part look at Scott Pilgrim: all 6 volumes of the comic as well as the game and movie just in time for their respective 10th Anniversaries. If your just joining us or needa  quick refresher, here are links to the other four parts, in order: Precious Little Life, Vs The World (Comic), Infinite Sadness, and last month’s look at my favorite volume Gets It Together. And if that’s not enough to fill your belly with Scotty Goodness, hop over to my patreon, patreon.com/popculturebuffet.  There you’ll find reviews of all the content I didn’t have time for in the retrospective proper: Free Scott Pilgrim, The Wonderful World of Kim Pine, Monica Beetle, Style, and the bonus comic strips. It’s only a dollar to get access to the bonus reviews, and every bit you can give not only helps me make these reviews int he first place, but gets me closer to my stretch goals, the 25 and 30 dollar ones including looks at O’Malley’s Other Works: Lost At Sea and Seconds for the former and Snotgirl for the latter. 

But more than plugging my past and paid works, there’s something else far more important I need to get to before I get into this one: Thank You. No Seriously thank all of you who have been reading these, liking them. My Precious Little Life Review is easily one of the most liked things i’ve ever had on this blog, getting more viewers every day, and last month’s look at Gets it Together is STILL racking up likes. Given most of my non-duck reviews, paid for and on my own time, tend to be ignored half the time, this just warms my heart. It shows me two great things: that even after a decade Scott Pilgrim still has a huge following and given how young this platform tends to skew that it’s gaining more fans every day, and that people care about what I have to say about htis wonderful comic. It really touches me to both know my voice matters and that something I truly loved as a teen and still do now is STILL picking up more and more fans. What i’m saying is you guys are the best and I wouldn’t be doing these reviews without your support of my very hard work. These are some of the hardest reviews i’ve done at times, but seeing you all enjoy them makes it all worth it. 

As for the Volume itself there’s something I just gotta get off my chest right away: I HATED this volume when it came out. To understand why you have to consider my mental state: I was a teenager at the time, in my junior year of high school. Scott Pilgrim was my goddamn world: while I was picking up comics monthly at the time this was honestly the first north american comic I loved and obessed over and Scott and friends were like family to me. To an awkward teen who couldn’t talk to girls, struggled to keep the video game club a friend founded together in a way that in hindsight was wholly unecessary, and getting messed with due to my anger issues by friend, foe and frenemy alike, Scott was my port in the storm. A sunny version of Tornoto where I could retreat to to feel at peace.

So yeah this shattered the fuck out of that peace and was essentially one long slow motion kick to the balls to a younger me: Hollie gets derailed and horribly betrays Kim, runing my faviorite characters life and leading to her LEAVING, Scott and Ramona’s relationship crumbles, the band breaks up , and the volume ends with Gideon still gunning for our hero because life hadn’t punched him in the face enough for one month. I was livid, not stopping the series, obviously, but upset that everything i’d grown to care about was basically gone in a flash and couldn’t understand WHY O’Malley would fucking do this to me. This volume was also what kept me from re-reading the books for as long as I did as while the rest had fond memories all the ones I had of this one were pure misery.

But by the time i re-read it in december of last year I had two important things in my hands that helped me truly enjoy this one: The first was Volume 6 itself: knowing things would work out, that most of the bad stuff would be undone and in a truly awesome and satisfying way helped.

The other thing was the perspective that came with growing older: For one as an adult while I still like Scott as a character and find him intresting I no longer look up to him, nor put stock in his hapiness for his own. Sure I still care about characters and relate to some, but Bojack Horseman taught me the hard way you CAN’T put all your hopes in a character’s fate or them getting better for you to get better. 

The other is that while this volume again is pretty bleak after a while.. it’s also NECESSARY. Part of the series charm is i’ts realisim and a sad part of real life is people can drift apart from you, and things can change seemingly all at once. And things moving the way they do is necessary for the ending: every step and move here puts things where they need to be for the final chapter.  The pain our heroes go through is necessary so they can all grow.. except Stephen and Wallace. Stephen sucks and Wallace dosen’t need to change. He does need his own spinoff. But for Scott, Ramona and Kim the trials to come are necessary to make them into their best selves by series end. 

So join me under the cut as we get sad so very very sad, this is Scott Pilgrim vs the Universe. 

Precious Little Life:  We open with Scott’s Birthday! Hit it MC Chris!

But yes it’s septmeber and Scott is now 24 years old. Also Julie is there because presumibly Stephen dredged her out of her swamp for the evening despite Julie likely not wanting to be there and Scott sure a shell not wanting her there.  He vows that he will be the best 24 year old ever...... yeah let’s take a brief look into the future to see how that pans out

But we have a full volume and more metaphorical rakes to whack Scott in the face before that paticular one. 

A MONTH AND A FEW DAYS LATER

It’s the day of the dead, whoa ho way down in Tornoto. It’s hosted by Satan Herself, who dosen’t realize the holiday for hags was yesterday. This is for remembering the dead and rising out of the grave to go resuce your young wards by ramming a bunch of guys in butterfly costumes with your car or stealing your children’s kidneys.  This is Rat Girl’s new place, a fancy loft she and 3 other girls went on to throw the best parties beaause of course. She’s also a bitch to our hero and heroine because of course. 

But Scott soon has more important things to worry about: Ramona spots his next two opponents.. the twins hinted at last time, Kyle and Ken Kataynagi, Perfect Jerk and Handsome Asshat respectively.

Kyle and Ken are easily the least intresting of the 7 exes. With the other 4 so far having been a loveable ham, a stoic movie star whose suprisingly nice and dies via skateboard, a gloriously douchey and dumb psychic evil version of our much more loverable dumb douche with personal connections to both him and Ramona, and Roxy who was genuinely sympathetic, held back by her own selfishness and anger.. we get.. two smug assholes who use robots. Their not UNINTRESTING, the robots have cool designs and the fight with them is genuinely exciting.. but they just don’t have the charisma or personal factor. Their jsut two assholes ramona dated at the same time who happen to know more about her well guarded past than the other exes and are more liable to bring it up.. and even then it’s not anything new as Envy pulled similar tactics far more intrestingly in volume 3. THey don’t ruin the volume or anything, thier fine, but I just wish O’Malley had done more. Especially since he clealry had more intresting ideas with them: the sound battle we saw in the movie was an early draft of this and one early draft had Scott’s previously unseen brother Laurence working with them. I don’t knowWHY he scrapped that as it raises the stakes and makes this far more personal for Scott. Which at this point is what the exes SHOULD be: Todd and Roxy BOTH were more personal threats, Todd being his ex’s boyfriend and first love and Roxy being a genuine competior for Ramona. These guys again are just two douchers who show up because we need 7 douchers to complete the doucher circle. 

So the twins declare their not going to fight scott.. and instead send a tiny robot to fight him. Awww. But for this fight O”Malley does something really intresting and creative.. he dosen’t focus on it. No really Ken and Kyle are dicks to Ramona so Kim wisely gets her out of there, and the two have a casual talk on the balcony while Ramona smokes. It’s some fun banter between the two that both shows why their shipped to all hell. The two just play off each other really damn well. Though we also get Craphole asking people if they want to come watch Scott get beat up because the worst. 

Something important character stuff comes up though: As was shown last time at her rightful rage that Stephen HAD an opportunity to book a gig and kept refusing it for his fecking album, Kim is still fairly salty about the whole recording an album bullshit. The biggest part of it..

It’s something you really DON’T expect to here coming out of kim: that she really LIKED the band. But beneath the pillar of salt she puts out daily... these were her friends, this was getting to do something creative and passionate, and it was a break from the daily grind. Even if her job isn’t TERRIBLE, getting to watch movies and hang out with her best friend Clerks style.. it’s still a retail job and those still weigh on you.. though frankly i’d take one of those over food service but sadly tha’ts what i get most of the time. This was fun.. and Stephen ripped that away from her for his own selfish reasons. No one else in the band really cared about making an album.. if Stephen REALLY wanted to find a more professional band.. then he should’ve just told them so Scott and Kim could find someone else to do guitars for them. Instead he forced them into doing something they don’t want to do and refuses to actually play shows, which COULD help both perfect songs for the album version and get them new fans for said upcoming album and provide them recurring venues to SELL said album,  because he really just wants to be with Joseph and fuck anyone else. Stephen is really just an inhernetly selfish git and i’ll get more into that in a bit. But first Wallace has a text for Scott. 

Now I COULD have just skipped over this.. but I didn’t want to. Plus we dont’ se Wallace for a while in this story so i’m taking what I can get. 

So back to Stephen being a repugnant ass. I’ve been waiting for this scene for the entire retrospective. I”ve hinted at it, and largely blamed it for why I hate him so damn much. The time is nigh to explain WHY. 

Stephen is with Knives, as the two are close friends and such. Stephen expalins Sex Bomb-Omb isn’t playing because he and the personfication of bitchiness broke up. Which knives points out is for...

But it’s clear from context this was the LAST time. Why he still got invited I dunno, plot convience. So far so normal.. until Stephen picks up that Knives is STILL hung up on Scott. Which is understandable crushes can last a while but i’ts equally understandable that Stephen is utterly baffled by it. Which I get,  I didn’t make an entire tom lucitor retropsecitve because I liked that his relationship with Star ended with him stepping aside due to what the show thought was “true wuv” but what comes off instead as his self loathing casuing him to blame himself for a realtionship that’s crumbling for reasons that aren’t his fault. 

And his actions here are incredibly well meant: He bluntly gives Knives the wake up call she DOES need: Scott cheated on her, he dated her because she was easy to date, strung her along for a bit while seeing someone else, then dumped her with not one care for her well being. That is stuff she NEEDS to get into her head so she can move on. She needs to see him for what he IS and not for what she’s built him up as in her head. And while yeah his rant DOSNE’T take into account the fact Scott geninely tried to make up for his actions in volume 3, Stephen wasn’t there for that and Knives probbably didn’t tell him about it.  So from his point of view scott broke her heart and did nothing.. and evne IF he knew that, Scott still hasn’t tried to do anything since despite Knives still being obessed with him nor come clean to her or Ramona at any point. Scott deserves this call out and the consequences that come with it. 

So your probably wondering WHY I hate Stephen because of this scene when he’s you know, RIGHT. Well it’s simple: being right dosen’t save you from being a MASSIVE hypcorite. He’s railing on Scott for cheating and hurting someone.. when he cheated on Julie and would’ve hurt her if she had the capacity for human emotion, empathy, or self awarness. The ending of the last volume and how bad, even for them, their relationship was implied the hell out of it, with him nervous when she brings up being paranoid over knives.. as if he WAS cheating. on One Face just not with a teenage girl but a grown ass man who hates everyone as much as BLARARARGAGAG does. 

Not only that.. but he was with Julie for the SAME DAMN reasons Scott was with Knives: it was easy. Now I WILL grant Stephen some sympathy: he’s a queer man and as one myself, bi for the record, I GET how fucking hard it is to come to terms with that, that what you thought you were isn’t ENITRELY true or, if Stephen is gay and not bi or pan, ENIRELY FALSE. So I do have some care that it was hard for him to sort all this out. I do and that Jospeh could’ve seduced him or what not. We don’t have all the context here. But he STILL cheated at the end of the day instead of telling her he was queer until MONTHS later.  And why yes the fact I have to feel bad for JULIE does make it that much worse. And yes their relationsihp COULD simply be that toxic or she could’ve gaslit him, but it seemed more like their relationship was messy breakups and getting back together over and over. While Julie IS vile, she’s not a domestic abuser mental or physical as far as I can tell. She’s a bitch and their relatioship is unehlathy but there was no indication their relationship involved gaslighting or evne phsyical violence: it was just fucked from minute one. So yeah he stayed in an awful relationship beacuse it was easier than coming out, when he should’ve broken it off as soon as it was clear he and Joseph were actually going somewhere. Waiting while he figured out who he was is one thing, tha’ts fiar, but cheating on someone just because you don’t have the nerve to break it off with them when their genuinely awful to you and your only hurting them as much as they can be hurt by dragging this out... yeah that just makes you an ass. 

Another point of contention is that he NEVER called Scott out on this. Never. Not even after this scene. Never encouraged him to tell Ramona or apologize to Knives, again he didn’t know Scott already had tried that. Never gets on him.. he just ignores Scott’s shitty behavior like eveyrone else and unlike Kim, whose still got unresolved feelings and is at the very least clearly bothered by his shitty behavior, and Neil, whose young and thus like me likely looked up to Scott at the time, he dosen’t have an excuse other than “Well I don’t want to ruin our friendship by actually calling him out when he does something objectivionally awful.” Especially since Wallace DID actually take action: he didn’t break up the relationship or say anythign to Ramona, which is wrong... but he did tell scott flat out after his first date with Ramona to break up with Knives. And when Scott chickned out of that, Wallace gave him the ultimatium, may it live in empathy, to do so or he WOULD tell Ramona. And at least Wallace has a motive for not telling Ramona other than “I don’t want to risk my friendship with a guy I really don’t care about and think is shitty”. He wanted to see Scott recover from Envy, something Stephen never gave ONE. SHIT. ABOUT. He saw Ramona was good for him and knew telling her, while the RIGHT thing to do, would severely harm Scott, and by volume 4 leave him homeless. Plus Wallace frankly enabled him for some time anyway, letting him live at their place rent free and paying for all his food and frequently letting Scott steal his credit card. WIth Wallace at least while it’s not the RIGHT move, it’s understandable and complicated vs Stephen who really dosen’t seem to like or get along with Scott after volume 1, suddenly cares what happens to his relationship. 

And what proves this... is this little exchange that ends the conversation. 

Knives despite her issues, despite blinding herself to how Scott treated her, despite everything... thinks Ramona should know. And she’s right. And Stephen KNOWS THIS. He knows it was the right thing to do and just.. takes a swig instead of admitting he’s a fucking hypocrite or explaining himself in any way.  He NEVER cared about Ramona’s feelings or how this would effect her or saw her as important in any way shape or form. Kim at least clearly feels guilty. Wallace clearly is only doing so because it’s better for both her and Scott that their together and is a flawed human being. Stephen.. just dosen’t do so out of some masculine bullshit code of not ratting out your friend and his own cowardace. He clearly COULD go walk up to Ramona right now and tell her, but he won’t. And again I don’t buy he honeslty cares enough about Scott for their friendship to TRULY be enough of a factor to stop that. Fuck. Stephen. Stills. 

So Scott wins naturally, but is bummed there’s no reward.. but Stephen points out there’s tons of free food over yonder so he noms before he and Ramona leave. 

We get some cute domestic bits with Scott and ramona: Scott playing games on her phone all day, the two cooking dinner, and Scott admititng he hasn’t thought of envy at all. “I have you now”. Though through it there are some signs of unease: Scott finds a letter to Gideon, and Ramona asks about her hair and stares out into the window. Nice little hints that even before the big bomb abotu to drop she’s not at ease.. she loves Scott.. but it’s hard for her to let herself BE happy. It’s easy to wager she wasn’t for most of her life. 

Can’t Face Up

So next we find Sex Bomb-Omb working on the album. Or rather Stephen and Joseph are. Scott and Kim are praying for death but death won’t come and Kim wonders why the fuck this isn’t finished. Joseph wants her out of his house... forgetting that Kim lives in said house. 

Still his expressoin implies he’s going to do a murder on her if she stays in the room and since Drummers are hard to come by Stephen spirits them to kim’s room for a band meeting. Turns out they do have a gig but naturally Rosemary’s Baby booked it... and they haven’t practiced in months because Stephen’s a moron. He theorizes it’s Freddy’s Revenge, which is admitely probably valid though Kim can TELL something worse happened Stephen won’t cop to because he’s a piece of shit. I spent several paragraph’s establishing that. They try blaying and two sucktacular minutes i’ts clear their fucked sunday. 

So after a scene of Knives trying HARD to justify Scott’s actions and blame htem on Ramona, to no success, we get one of my faviorite parts of this book: Scott rambling on for god knows how long about the x-men while Ramona gets dressed and is presumibly barely listneing. 

I relate so hard to this it hurts. While not this era I wll GLADLY go on and on about X-Men and anything X-Adjacent at any goddamn opportunity and anyone who reads my blog on a regular basis and you know this. I need to tlak more x-men outside of my slowly failing New X-Men retrospective (Which is on the back burner because no one seeems to genuinely care after chapter one). If I did have a signifgant other, they would probably end up in a situation like this quite a lot and i’d have no shame about it. 

I also love this scene even more as while I DID love x-men at the time, I wasn’t quite the mega fan I was, nor as familiar with Claremont’s long, epic and often fucking weird in the special wonderful way only comics can run. Given I OWN over half his run at this point, that has changed. Though oddly not this part. So not only do I get Scott’s talking about x-men I Know what SPECIFICALLY. 

And for the unitatied, a quick explination of what the fuck Scott’s going on and on about: In the late 80′s, the x-men fought a reality warping malevolent trickster god named the Adversary. IN order to beat him their friend forget had to perform a cermony to lock his ass away that required willingly given life forces. The X-Men did REALLY fucking die.. but the Goddess Roma, daughter of Merlin and enemy of the advesary brought them back to life. With their deaths having been broadcast on live tv, and with tons of dangerous enemies at their heels, the X-Men choose to let the world continue to think they were dead so they could hit said enemies where it hurt.

SO this is where Scott’s story comes in:The X-Men’s first mission was clearing out the reavers, a bunch of racist cyborgs, from a ghost town which they took over as their base. As Scotty said they traveled all over the world, fought aliens, more racists, and then went to New York as it literally went ot hell. it’s a LOT and I haven’t read most of that era. I just know about it. I have read that last part though: the x-men were ambushed while wolveirne was away by said racist cyborgs so Psylocke shoved them through the siege perilous, a gate thingy romana gave them that would give them a new life and amnesia and such, leaving wolveirne to get crucified till Jubilee, who’d been hiding in their base gary busey style, freed him. The two would travel the world, find psylocke body swapped which is why she was asian for several decades, and get into general stuff for a few years real time till the X-Men slowly reunited. And you probbaly dind’t need to hear all of that but your life is better for knowing it. 

As you can tell Ramona’s discontent is mounting. And probably not because of Scott rambling about x-men. Last night he told her about the time Magneto beat them all because they stupidly rushed him one at a time then forced them into high tech chairs while a robotic nanny babbied them and then esecaped because shut up before fighting magneto, getting surrounded by lava and having beast ASSUME they were dead because fuck actually coming back and searching just in case like a rational human being because magma or no the x-men have surivived worse, including the depths of space, and restoring all of reality from scratch.  I may of just read those issues tonight. 

She procedes to make things worse for our hero as when he asks fo rher advice.. she reveals she dosen’t like his band.. and while she means nothing BY that, she’s nice about it, telling him his band sucks days before a sudden show where you guys eat a lot isn’t something you do. Wallace is naturally even less helpful and maybe his not liking the band is why we barely see him interact. Maybe he just figured Stepheen was on the fence sexuality wise but wasn’t willing to put up with Julie to test that. I dunno. 

So at the restraunt Stephen’s a dick, refusing to help Scott with his problems. WHich for once are legitamte as he worries abotu Ramona keeping secrets. He just wants to talk about hte band.. but 48 or something hours after this he has no real plan. 

Scott mopes to Kim about Ramona and she has some sage advice for him...

Also thing one and thing two are at the bar with a remote. This cannot end well... granted givne our heroes are not at all prepared and are playing two diffrent songs, this was never going to end well. 

And things only get worse for Scott in the bathroom.. he’s not there.. but his girlfriend and his ex are. Knives tries to work it out.. but Ramona being a bit short with her, which is fair given Knives tried to stab her a bunch a few months back and never apologized, leading to a quick fight.. but with Knives heart not in it this time and Ramona pissed and this time NOT confsued as to what the hell ihs going on, it ends with Ramona slamming knives into a wall... and Knives sadly revealing the truth to Ramona...

The scene hits like a truck with both devistated.. Ramona not having realized Scott with this shitty.. and Knives FINALLY accepting that he is. Finally letting her obession with him drop and realize what he was and what he did and let the full impact hit. The last part also hits hard “No One Else Would’ve Told You’.  It’s a sad hard truth and it’s CLEARLY something that hits both women hard.  For Knives it’s realizing Kim and Stephen, who she’s increidbly close to at this point, both don’t have the stomach to do the right thing, and thus hid this from her and Ramona. Stephen DID tell her.. but he still didn’t have the guts to tell RAMONA nor the actual care. It’s the realization the people she looked up to truly let her down and that she had to do what they couldn’t, even if it tore her apart to do it. For Ramona it’s realizing her closest friends outside of Scott could’ve told her and never did. No matter how close she’s gotten to Kim and Wallace, neither gave a fuck about her rights or her need to know. 

So Ramona is rattled and barely speaks while Scott has been fighting anothe rrobot and ends the gig accidnetly smashing his bass. Stephen is pissy with him and blames hi mfor runing the gig, which turned out to be a trap anyway complete with fliers. 

Ramona decides to gently throw him out as he forgot his keys while his other friends won’t house him leaving him with the one friend he has who dosen’t hate him right now. WALLACE!

The Glow:

So at Casa De Welles, Wallace has some buddy time, not making any bones about the fact Ramona clearly threw Scott out for the night and wearing a neat robe. Scott mopes about the fact he hasn’t met mobile whose apparenlty on the astral plane. I wonder if he has any buisness with Emma.. I mean the x-men did live in san fran sicsio but given decimation didn’t have many psychics. Might’ve been tryign to get another one. THey didn’t have a whole island that walks like a man yet.  And while Wallace wasn’t in much of a coaching mood last time he is willing to help. He couldn’t get bupkiss on the twins since Scott can’t even remember their names, but he did pull off a miracle. Despite their being a million Gideons in New York.. Wallace found THE Gideon. Granted all he got was his full name, Gideon Gordon Graves, and a few burry photos, one with Ramona confirming this is our douche, but given he had only a first name and an ex to work with this is some damn fine work. Wallace asks scott about his future with Ramona but he just.. has no earthly idea because of course he dosen’t. He hasn’t REALLY thought about what comes after beating the exes because he never thinks anything through. Interesting stuff The next day Scott meets up with Kim at No Account Video and we get our first, and I mean literally first, indiciation things are falling apart with her and Hollie. Scott wants to say hi, Kim refuses him and gives a smart ass comment when he asks if them being roomates isn’t working out. He wasn’t even being a dick it’s just clear SOMETHING bad’s going on she won’t talk about because she puts up walls around hrself on a GOOD day and this clearly isn’t one.

It gets worse when they stop by Stephen’s place only to find Neil whose both taken up a combination of smoking and moping in a dark room. Never a good sign. Nor is Stephen apparenlty being at band practice.. meaning either he lied to Neil about where he went.. or he already started the band we’ll see him with next volume and is already stabbing his friends in the back. There wasn’t much to like about the guy to BEGIN with, but his behavior just gets worse with every volume and it’s reached it’s apex here. The speech was shitty enough, I spent several paragraphs explaning why, but the rest of his behavior isn’t much better. He abandoned two people who were, for god knows what reason loyal to him and abandoned the band because of some bearded asshole probably encouraging him to. 

We also get some telling behavior on Kim’s part. Whlie she’s usually morose around Scott in the face of this both just hang out, it’s plesant. She even smiles when she asks if it’s going to be a regular occurance when he stays with her that night. Granted she brings back her frown soon after, but as has been clear her feelings for him never really went away entirely, and this is the closest the two have been in volumes, just enjoying each others company. It’s also telling that Scott trusts kim with a favor.

We see the favor the next page: Kim hangs out with Ramona.. and Scott marchs in completely on purpose soon after. Granted Kim probably didn’t know THIS was part of the plan, and it’s mildly stupid.. but it DOES show progress for Scott. Keep in mind his usual tactic is “avoid the fuck out of it and hope it goes away’ So ACTUALLY wanting to talk about things and find her again, and not doing it in a creepy way but simply drawing her out with a friend, shows SOME maturlity. It’s still not the most mature.. but with Ramona clearly not wanting him at their place, her work not having a set location as she just picks stuff up and drops it off (And even if she’s picking up packages at the post office we don’t know which one or if there’s multiple and even if we did scott sure as hel l does not), he was out of options. It also WORKS, with Ramona breaking her mopeynesss to laugh and Kim stunned it didn’t just piss her off further. 

So we find out what happened with Hollie when Scott brings up jason. She points out they were dating but... welllllllll

Yeah... as you could probably tell I do not like this plot point at all. For one thing we never really got to KNOW Jason, and with him and Hollie getting a little too cozy at the end of the last volume...

It’s clear his ONLY roll in the story was to be there so Hollie could betray Kim in some way. And look I get a LOT in this series happens while we’re not looking, ti’s part of it’s charm. Things not pausing for the side cast is a trope I enjoy: it allows some things to progress faster and allows for some intresting stories when the main cast catches up. Steven Unvierse and Ducktales both used this well as does Scott Pilgrim but all three weren’t immune to someitnes goofing up and taking it too far. 

This whole situation is that: Hollie is a character I got attached to: She had a great report with kim, they were really close and she offered her a place to stay when it was clear she was miserable with the four horseman of the bitchpocalypse she lived with. So while having her suddenly heel turn is realistic... it just feels thorughly unsatisfying. We do not see Hollie again after she’s sudeenly derailed, so we never get to see what she’s apparenlty REALLY like or get any explination why this happened. Suddenly Kim’s best friend is a douchebag even though it makes no sense for her character. Just because in real life people can turn out to be really shitty on a dime dosen’t mean it’s a neat thing to READ in a story and it feels like a waste of what was one of the series best side characters. And granted i’ve been through FAR worse treatment of side characters, trust me but this one still blows to this day and if there is a netflix adaptation this either needs to not happen or have actual depth. Seriously Netflix your adapting everything else, get on the bus already. 

Scott is GENUINELY apologetic, we’ve rarely seen him this nice but he genuinely feels bad for her.. and unlike Stephen’s thing it’s okay to feel shitty someone got cheated on even if you were a cheater in the past. As I said Stephen wasn’t wrong about how Scott treeted knives.. he just also was trying to take moral high ground which Knives proved he absolutely did not have in seconds.

This triggers Ramona’s glow, the squggly line thing that shows up over her head ocasoinally.. and while Ramona grills Scott... Kim just finally asks what the hells up with her head. Scott’s reaction is “OH good you guys see it too”. Kim does try to show it to ramona but it’s gone by then and she drops it for now and outside encourages her to come to Julie’s latest shitty party.. I mean their miserable but at least it gives thems omething to do

So we get another instalment of “Scott rambles about the X-Men” or New Mutants in this case as we’re talking about Magik, Aka Illyana Rasputin 

So for the long version: The X-Men were staying at a creepy temple that Magneto had been working out of beause the mansion was being repaired. Colossus, everyone’s favorite Russian and Deadpool co-star, had his kid sister Illyana with him as Arcade, a ginger maniac assasian whose gimmick is creating elaborate murder theme parks, kidnapped her in a plot to get the x-men to fight Dr. Doom for him. Given this was during the Cold War they coudln’t exactly take her back, so she stayed with the X-Men and her beloved big brother. 

So naturlaly the spooky temple decorated in Cthulu’s had a portal to hell in it and  an evil and genirc looking fucker named Belasco kidnapped her to a hell dimension known as Limbo>  the X-Men went after her as you’d expect and things got WEIRD as due to some complicated and weird time dialition stuff I sitll don’t quite understand there ended up being two copies of the x-men: ours who came in right after, and a second batch who stayed there for about 7-8 years and got warped by Bellsaco’s magic as he killed or changed most of them. As a result Storm became a sorcerer to fight back, Kitty Pryde became some sort of cat creature and Kurt became a creepy evil version of himself. Illyana stayed htere, learned magics from both storm and asshole, learned to fight from cat kitty, and eventually escaped after a lot of horrible bullshit, hardnered and with her soul scarred from it, now a teenager. She joined the New Mutants, the training class of x-men in the comics, soon after. She’s a member agian in present day, one of the great captains of Krakoa, and one of the two co-leaders of Krakoa’s younger mutants, i.e. 20 something to teens and kids. 

This is the best of the two scenes as the narrative , or at least Scott’s versions parallels Ramona’s own; Getting taken in by an evil man and feeling tainted by that. 

So at the party Ramona runs into Neil whose a dick about it and with some girl. She WAS going to be fleshed out more in the original draft but Brian ended up scrapping it for time, but does regret it. It’s here we get Neil’s face punchingly dickish comment that’s also a massive hint as to Stephen’s sexuality. 

Yeah even if Stephen’s been an UTTERLY shitty friend to him.. this was uncalled for even for the late 2000′s. What a prick. I do like the arc of Neil slowly falling apart though getting more and more bitter as his old friends abandoned him casually, especailly Stephen. While his comment was still HORRIBLY unwarranted even with Stephen being a dipshit. 

Speaking of assholes we get our last major with Julie who berates Scott for grabbing some booze and brings in the twist. I’m.. i’m not even bothering to give her an insluting and weird nickname. She’s still a HORRIBLE piece of shit, as she brought Scott’s enemies there to try and beat him to death for her own amusment and berated him for getting booze at a party she CLEARLY expected him to come to, but she’s ALMOST gone. Seriously after this she’s GONE for the volume and barely in the rest of the series. So i’d rather celebrate FINALLY having earned my freedom over worrying about her any more than i have to. Cue the music!

So with that Kyle.. or is it Ken. 

But the blonde one needles ramona, giving her her faviorite booze and telling her “this is all just temproary”

So Ramona gets all glowy.. and Kim gets her phone out....

The Universe Fights Back So in a random bedroom Ramona gives up the ghost: SHe DOES know what that is she just can’t tell Kim. Kim accepts it and they share some drinks. Scott, after beheading the douche bros latest science project, joins them and we get a lovely scene of the three drinking and bonding and geneuinely just having a good time. Though Kim DOES mention that she wants to go back to school.. This will naturally be very important. 

What’s more important is this scene is ENITRELY while I poly ship these three dum dums. I mean while part of thier hapiness here is their blasted out of hteir heads, it’s also just Kim’s wall sbeing down. She tells the two she loves them, and I think MEANS IT. Not to mention this...

Okay maybe it’s just the two of them but they also love Scott. And again I get htier VERY obviously drunk.. but given Kim and Ramona are clearly actively supressing any bi parts of themselves most of hte time this is telling. The fact Ramona asks kim to sleep in THIER bed, likely with them, is ALSO very telling and Kim only dosen’t because their using sub space. No really that’s the only reason this volume didn’t end VERY diffrently with the three of htem having a three way before the argument coming up.. and possibly fixing said argument by having kim to mediate. I mean I get Scott’s not a big part of this so if you don’t want to ship him with them and just leave them alone that’s fine, ut I like the idea of them as a throuple: they ballance each other out.. and frakly with Scott’s irresponsblity and Ramona’s emotoinal issues they need someone to call them b oth out in the relationship, while these two are two of the only three people in the work i’ve seen Kim take her walls down for. Not even Jason got that, but Jason was also a carboard cutout. 

Things take a turn from Kim.. from an almost threesome where she CLEARLY would be getting most of the attention... to two assholes kidnapping her. Now while I don’t like the twins that much their plan for the final act IS actually clever: their the first ones to think to actually use the people Scott cares about.. or anything resembling strategy really. Matt just charged int here, Lucas coudln’t give less of a fuck, Todd just used brute strength like a teletkentic juggernaught, and Roxy DID use some but it was less to actually fight scott and more to get into ramona’s pants again. The twins see Kim clearly still loves Scott, and that while he acts aloff to her sometimes she really is one of his best friends. No really, think about it. Wallace is his BEST friend.. but Kim sticks by him even when he’s shitty, calls him out when needed, and despite her grumpiness is the one who has the most faith in him out of ANYONE. It’s a large point of the volume: she dosen’t bother watching the fights.. because she belivies he’ll win simply because he’s Scott. That’s love right there. The kind of love that gets you kidnapped as part of an elaborate scheme but love nonetheless. 

So we then get the scene that’s been coming for five volumes... after having sex, Ramona confronts Scott. While Scott admits he didn’t cheat on her with knvies, the other way around, that’s not better. He admits he’s been trying to forget about it.. and she calls him a bad person. And that. .hits him hard. While he DESERVES scorn for what he did... as he puts it next he’s been trying to change for her. To BE better. And all she sees, and outright confirms is another evil ex in waiting with Scott DESPERATE to prove her wrong and wrongly thinking beating the next three exes will fix this. It’s a VERY hard sceen to watch as while Scott does deserve this.. it’s also hard not to feel bad for him too. It really sums up the character: He is a dick.. but he’s TRYING to be better. He WANTS to be, he just dosen’t know how. And MAN can I relate to that.  It dosen’t help that Ramona is clearly projecting her own insecurties about this lasting, about actually being happy and about this really being her life onto him, using this as an easy out after having a month of doubt. Yes Scott did something unbelivibely shitty.. but both are trying to take the easy way out of it instead of genuinely discussing why it’s shitty, what he did was wrong and geniuinely unpacking if this is the end. Ramona clearly wants to bail, and Scott clearly just wants to punch a few guys to make it better. Neither thing will work. They need to work thorugh their issues to work... but neither is capable of that right now. They both want to run from the problem. 

This volume is in part about Ramona herself.. and showcasing her OWN flaws.. and like Scott her biggest is that she runs. She wants to escape her past too and both assumed the other would be an easy fix, that by having a good partner they’d be better.. when really their both mildly shitty people who need to make peace with their past and repair the bridges they’ve burnt and flip off the ones not worht reparing instead of running from it all the time. But sadly before both can.. their just gonna run again. Because sometimes fixing yourself is just not that easy. 

So the next morning Scott’s heart stops fo ra second when Ramona is seemingly gone.. only for her to instead be in teh shower. But Scott gets a text telling him the twins have Kim and TRIES to tell Ramona.. but she’s in the shower. As a result she’s worried he just ran off... and makes a decision , her hair cut back down after growing it out this volume, a sign of her hapiness.. now gone. 

The Glow Part 2 So at an abandoned wherehouse the fight is on. The twins have the advantage in part because Scott is hung over.. something they take offense to.. even though they were THERE last night. He was at a party. They don’t know he teatotles. What state did they THINK he’d be in this morning?

We also find out their origin: as Scott correctly guessed at the end of last volume, Ramona dated them both at the same time and pit them against each other. They found out and vowed to always fight as one.. which means Scott is not only fighting two equally powerful opponents at once, but two who work as a perfct team and double hurricane kick him. They also mentally break him down, pointing out her previous job and how she’s a runner and she’s here to run from her past working for Gideon.

They aren’t but I already went into that so let’s get onto more pressing issues: Scott is not only hung over but now doubting himself and his dumbass plan to beat gideon and magically fix things, while Kim is naturally not happy about being stuck in a cage all night. And while at first she’s genuinely just grumpy as always as it becomes clear Scott has lost hope and the twins are going to win this one her expression is heartbreaking...

After EVERYTHING she still loves him and can’t bear to see him in so much pain... and can’t loose him.. so she gets desperate and claims Ramona texted him to give him hope. 

This is one of Kim’s definting moments, the other coming next month. When faced with the person she loves possibly dying.. she lies to him.. so he can surivive. So he can have hope and make it through this.. despite how much it’s CLEARLY KILLING HER to not only tell him someone else loves him but to clealry lie that person loves him, knowing it’ll hurt him more.. but knowing if she DOSEN’T he’ll die. It’s one of the most painful, heartbreaking and beautiful moments in the entire series. It’s why I said earlier while I don’t like the brothers their climactic fight his excellent.. because it is. Their verbal breaking down of Scott is hearbreaking and Kim’s sacrifice equally so. 

And before stomping them into coins SCott shows further growth.. by showing he CAN give off a good one liner now...

So Scott beats them and gets Kim out of the cage, worried about her.. but despite having a chance, Kim lets him get on his way to ramona and morsoely wlaks off... while ominously the sign points out this will soon be the Chaos Theater. There’s still one left to go. 

But.. it’s sadly not enough. While Scott gives her a heartfelt speech... even if he quotes the song as long as you love me... he dosen’t care who she is.. but Ramona does.. calling herself a bad person.. as she vanishes.... and I cry my eyes out again. God two really heartbreaking scenes in a row sweet jesus this volume will be the death of me.. and not just because i’ts taken so damn long to write this review. And on top of tha the looses the cat and ends up locked out. 

World of Ruin:

So yeah if you thought those bits weren’t easy.. it only gets roughter as we see Scott in the aftermath of the breakup. His dream world is now desolate and he’s alone. Now to his creidt as much shit as i’ve given him Stephen didn’t ENTIRELY abandon Scott: he put him up fo rth enight (though he kicks him out after work) and offers to take him to after work drinks. We also see a nice side of Scott’s intimdating boss as she offers her symaptheties at him crying... while he says it’s the onions... he’s transparenlty lying. 

Next up is Kim. Though she dosen’t have a couch because Hollie sold it.. which as dickish as she suddenly is it IS her couch as Kim points out.. so yeah Kim and Scott end up sleeping awkardly in the same bed facing away from each other.. and to add another emotional guttpunch at the worst possible time: She’s going back home. 

Stacey is even lesss helpful as SCott continues to ask about cats and is unsypantethic about her leaving despite you know,  him REALLY not being at the shit talking her stage yet bud. At least we do get to see Stacey in this one I genuinely forgot she was in it. 

So at Wallace’s he’s no help either pointing out she might be with someone else because he’s wallace and we meet a guy with Glases.. and in his bad state Scott assumes i’ts gideon. it’s not though. WE finally meet Mobile!

He’s exactly what wallace needs.. a fellow sarcastic asshole. 

So next up is Kim’s goodbye.. which once again is really emotinal..a nd not just because  my faviorite character is leaving and again, younger me didn’t know this wasn’t forever.. or that she’d be back for a rather huge role next time. But still it’s a damn good scene that shows how far Scott’s come...

While the first part is standard... the second is Scott realizing that she still had feelings for him, clearly given her actions during the fight, and he’d been a right dick this whole time never dealing with it or apolgoizing for his past. Granted he still has a way to go to REALLY apologize for it... but he’s trying and means it. And with her possibly never seeing again.. she needed that. Also her coat is damn cool. I’d say I want one like that btu i’d really prefer one like Scotts complete with x-men patch. Pax Krakoa bitches. 

We get a really nice scene after where we meet Scott’s parents! Their also really kind helping him get a new place and move on... and runs into another glasses guy. But this time it’s Laurence! Who he drop kicks.. and then gives a broken bass back to. Eh... i’ve seen worse relationship with siblings honestly. He didn’t murder scott’s friend or plunge a whole galaxy into war or try and murder his daughter. Other Scott’s weren’t so lucky. 

So after that awkardness SCott finds the note to gideon which is a break up letter... she never sent. However there’s something more pressing as he gets a call... and you can probably guess given his luck lately who that’s from. 

Eh it’s not that murderoius creep but another one. 

The end.. is in a few weeks.

Final Thoughts: 

As I said I hated Vs the Universe on first read but re-reading it with hindsight and maturity.. it’s damn good. It’s depressing as hell.. but the things it does need to happen to push scott into a bad enough place for the next volume to work, and are natural: Ramona and Kim leaving, The band  breaking up, Scott kicking his brother in the face.. all natural things. It hurts, this was a HARD one to write and I only feel the next one will be harder because it’s way longer with less slice of lifey stuff to skim through in my recapping. 

But it’s a damn good one, with fantastic art, really gripping scenes, x-men refrenes and a spotlight shone on my girl kim. Even it’s weak spots dont’ hurt it: the twins are only weak by comparison, and still work well enough for the story, pushing ramona into the bad mental place she needs to be for the story to work. Hollie’s thing DID Need to be written way fucking better... but it does push kim into leaving which is CRITICAL for next time. So they aren’t GREAT elements, but they work. The only real other problem I have is knives just.. vanishes after her scene outside of one bit with Stephen, but that I can understand as the book is pretty tightly packed and she gets a fitting sendoff next time anyway. All in all another amazing entry and the perfect warm up for one of the best endings in comics history

Next Time: I said it and I meant it: one of the best endings in comics history as Scott hits on some exes, fights himself and betters himself as he prepares for his finest hour! Will Ramona Come back? Will Kim? Will Julie?... to answer your questions yes yes, and god dammit. Thank you all for reading, see you at the next rainbow. 

[ooops-i-arted]

I am dying to know your thoughts on the S2 finale

I’m dead.  I’m dead I’m freaking dead

Overall absolutely loved it yessssssss, so good!

Mmmmm so much good rampaging and fight choreography yessss.  Personal favorites were Din versus Gideon because the cinematography was so gorgeous, Luke’s entrance because I am a lightsaber-loving girl, and Din versus the Dark Trooper because Din ilu but watching you thrown around like a ragdoll was simply hilarious

Also I don’t think Din getting repeatedly punched in the face was supposed to be funny but I was cackling

Also man, if he hated droids before imagine how he feels now

Also good cinematography:  I loved all the shots of the TIE fighters and the shuttle coming out of the whatever-they-called-it chute, beautifully framed shots.  This whole episode was really gorgeously shot

I am a simple girl.  I see Cara Dune shooting Space Nazis and then beating the living shit out of them, I receive serotonin

I feel similarly about Fennec Shand, she is amazing

Bo-Katan was the only downside to this episode because she’s an annoying bitch but her comeuppance was SO worth it.  HAHAHAHAHAHA NO DARKSABER FOR YOU AND IT’S RUBBED IN YOUR FACE HOW MUCH YOU DON’T DESERVE IT

Especially after talking to Boba like that, HOW DARE YOU SPEAK LIKE THAT TO A REAL MANDALORIAN YOU STUCK-UP COW

Okay I GUESS it made sense to bring her along, Din clearly knew what he was doing using her, but if you’ll allow me to be petty and snotty for a moment, I prefer appearances from REAL Star Wars characters not TCW nonsense

Speaking of which HOLY SHIT LUKE SKYWALKER HOLY SHIT LUUUUUUUUUKE LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKE

In an earlier post I said I didn’t want a Luke cameo I take it back it was beautiful even if the CGI was just a touch off but it didn’t ruin the moment at least for me Like for any other character that entrance would be overlong and overdrawn, but for Luke Fucking Skywalker?  He deserves it and it was amazing.

My sister and I were, once again, literally screaming at the tv.  And then we managed to stop, Artoo came out, and we started again.

(Lol you know Artoo was just sitting there going “There’s ANOTHER one of these green fuckers?!”)

Gideon is such a cool villain.  So crafty and clever and always doing his best to stay one step ahead with excellent monologuing and fighting skills and also he has STYLE.  As my sister put it “He reminds me of Dooku” and “I’m glad Disney has figured out how to do villains again.”  I’m very glad he’s not dead and I hope he comes back and continues to be nefarious.

Villain honorary mention to that asshole pilot (in a Lambda-class shuttle! loved seeing one again!) who decided to talk shit about Alderaan, Cara gets an A++ for shooting him for it (and for clocking Gideon later)

“I yield” I fuckin died

So like.... I’m sure Din would be a great Mand’alor, he’s compassionate and clearly has a knack for bringing people together and deeply cares about Mandalorian ways (with a little adjusting for accepting others’ Mandalorian ways) but.... does he want this?  Because he seems to just want to mind his own business.  Not rule a planet he’s never seen and doesn’t really have any investment in.

Anyway to the Big Moment, I think Grogu going with Luke was overall well-done.  Grogu’s consent is clearly valued by Luke, he’s not baby-snatching him or anything (which is not what the Jedi ever did anyway), and while Luke addresses Grogu directly mostly, he also respects Din’s decision as Grogu’s father.  Luke clearly takes what they both want into consideration.  And of course, Grogu won’t go unless Dad says it’s okay and to me at least (maybe because I watch these halfway into ACCPOV mindset anyway) I felt like Grogu had already come to the decision himself, that he was ready to go train but only if he had Din’s support to do so.  I AM CRY.

God you know Din was dying inside though.  ME TOO, BUDDY

Overall I feel Din starting to remove the helmet has been a little too...easy?  I guess?  I’m not sure exactly what I wanted out of it more but he seemed to turn around too quickly for me given how hardcore Din was about it before.  That aside, Din taking off his helmet to say good-bye to his son was a beautiful heart-wrenching moment and straight-up murdered me with feelz and I loved it.

Lol so was Cara just standing there thinking “You wouldn’t let me remove it for A FATAL HEAD INJURY but now it’s okay????”

It was bittersweet but it definitely didn’t feel like an end to me.  Luke talks about training Grogu; he’s certainly not replacing Din as his father or anything, and like I said seems to treat Din as Grogu’s father.  Din says “we’ll meet again.”  And ofc Baby Yoda and Din are Disney’s big marketing Thing right now.  This isn’t good-bye forever, just good-bye for now.

That said as a teacher I’m picturing Luke setting up Class Dojo and sending Din a link and immediately getting five billion messages a day

Also you know Grogu spends the entire trip to Jedi School telling Luke all about how awesome his daddy is.  At least when he wasn’t trying to steal pieces from Luke’s cockpit with the excuse “Dad lets me do it”

So Din has lost his ship/home, almost everything he owns, gave up his beloved son, has taken off his helmet and even if he decides it doesn’t break his Creed he still probably has to do some serious Processing about it, and has just accidentally become ruler of a planet he’s never seen or even believes is worth going to.  CAN THIS MAN PLEASE HAVE A GODDAMN BREAK

Anyway imo the only big misstep of this episode was we didn’t get Din and Baby’s reunion.  Din fights Gideon and then he’s herding Gideon up into the bridge.  Where’s the emotional reunion between father and son?  Removing the baby handcuffs and making sure his boy is all right?  Baby finally relieved at being saved?  YOU’RE NOT GONNA SHOW US ANY OF THAT?!  (You’ll be seeing it in ACCPOV though, that’s for DAMN sure.)

The after scene was cool, the Boba Fett one is pretty much the only show I’m really interested in and I liked the little teaser.  Especially Fennec freeing the poor slave girl.

Tl;dr Loved it and was just wishing for one more big scene of Dad & Baby reuniting

[agentmarymargaretskitz]

Please Don’t Come Back- Chapter 4

(Head’s up- temporary character death)

Behrad looks into Gary's past, Ava confronts Rip, and Gary returns to the Waverider.

AO3

              Behrad glanced over at his sister as she slept on the little nest of pillows in the parlor. By now, Zari had to be deep into her vision quest. It was still crazy to think about how in another timeline, she’d been a Legend too. Then again, he really did need to re-evaluate his definition of crazy after the past few years he’d spent with the Legends. Maybe she could share some details about her other self when she came out of the slumber.

              With Zari occupied, Behrad could get working on his secondary task. Ava had asked him to see if he could get Gideon to pump out some information on Gary’s past. She just didn’t have the same connection he did with the AI. It was actually worth getting stuck in a time loop…almost. But he had visited her in his dreams through her matrix and gotten to know her better since then. It probably wasn’t a good idea to sleep while Zari was out, but he could still talk to her awake.

“Hey, Gideon?” he called, stepping out momentarily to the bridge. “You there?”

“I am, Mr. Tarazi. What you need?”

“I need information on Gary Green, and nothing that’s been forged.”

Gideon paused before speaking again. “Mr. Tarazi, there is a command code to access that information on Gary Green.”

“Please?” Behrad pleaded. “I know you can override it.”

“Mr. Tarazi-”

“I’ll play Scrabble in your matrix with you,” Behrad offered. “Think about it. You, me, all those little tiles. You kicking my ass with words no one has heard of.”

“People have heard of those words,” Gideon huffed. “I…suppose I can grant you a window. But I have to warn you about what you’re going to find. There’s a reason Captain Hunter buried that information.”

Documents started to appear on the console screens in front of them. Behrad chuckled.

“You’re the best, Gideon.”

“I know.”

~~~

“What are you doing here?”

              Ava tried not to look too surprised at Rip’s appearance, but she was kicking herself on the inside. If she’d just taken Gary’s file and run instead of debating grabbing her own, then she would have made a clean escape. Now she was trapped in a room with the man who had lied to her about her whole existence. If she didn’t play this right, he would get suspicious and use the memory flasher on her. Everything would be for nothing then.

“Director Hunter,” she nodded, not smiling as she pushed Gary’s real file under her arm. “Director Bennett asked me to get these file updates to be processed.”

Rip looked from his desk to the file under her arm. “Did he now?”

“Yes. I didn’t mean to barge in, but I had no idea when you were coming back.”

Rip nodded. “That’s understandable.”

“Great. So if you don’t mind, I’ll just get going!”

She started to move around to reach the door, but Rip side-stepped to block her path.

“Something that’s not understandable is that I saw you just a minute ago with Agent Green, preparing to go to a mission briefing,” Rip told her. “You can’t portal into offices of directors, so how did you sneak past me?”

“I was just-”

              Ava caught the movement of Rip’s hand on the flasher and acted fast. She dropped the file and kicked him backwards, catching him off-guard. He fell against the desk, the memory flasher hitting the floor. Ava ran forward and kicked it away. Rip made a move to fight back, but Ava was ready. She grabbed the arm that was heading for her in a punch and attached a handcuff to his wrist. As he processed that, Ava dragged him over and handcuffed him to one of the stupid wall sconces he had in his office.

Rip looked at his situation with frustration and then back to her. “Who are you?”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Ava Sharpe, or the twelfth version of her that you brought back from the future and programmed full of fake memories.”

The deflation in Rip’s shoulders was satisfying. “You’re from the future.”

“2020,” Ava went over to the door, keeping her eyes on him as she made sure it was locked. “I’ve come back for a little mission regarding a certain file that you redacted. Or were going to redact today.”

“Agent Sharpe-”

“Director,” she corrected, even if she hadn’t held that title in nearly a year. “I deserve some answers today. And I might have never gone to seek them out if I hadn’t decided to do a favor for someone.”

Rip didn’t seem surprised at the title. “Well, congratulations first off. I always had a suspicion this day would come. That you would want answers for your past.”

“I do,” Ava leaned against the back of a chair in his office. “Maybe I’ll get to ask a few. But I’m not here for myself. I can understand why my file was redacted.”

“But you still wanted to steal it and find out everything.”

Ava shook her head. “Not everyone is self-centered. I didn’t come for my file. I came for Gary Green’s.”

Something changed in Rip’s body language. It wasn’t major, but a look of fear entered his eyes briefly and he stiffened. “You’re here about Agent Green?”

“In my present, certain people are rising from Hell to return to Earth,” Ava explained, not exposing too many details. “Rasputin, Genghis Khan, Marie Antoinette, a bunch of others. Gary has this notion that his father could come back too.”

Rip went somewhat pale. “If I were you, Director Sharpe, I would hope that never comes to be.”

“Well, I’m trying to assess how big a threat he’d be if he does come back,” Ava sighed. “But you conveniently erased any details on his file that would be able to help me. So what’s the deal with Gary, Rip? Hell, why did you even hire him in the first place? I’ve had to save his ass half the time.”

A snort escaped her former boss. “You’d be surprised how often I’ve been asked that. He’s more capable than he lets on. His father practically trained him to be a child soldier.”

Ava frowned.

“That’s not why I recruited him. Part of it was…revenge. One last middle finger to his father for everything he did to me- taking his son, not that he cared about Gary anyways.”

“And what was the other part that made you recruit him?”

Rip sighed. “To keep an eye on him in the event he turned out to be just like his father.”

“Like his father?” Ava raised an eyebrow. “How bad is his father?”

“Director Sharpe, just take the file and go. At this point, you might as well take yours too.”

“No!” Ava snapped. “Not until you’ve given me a straight answer. For once in your goddamn life, stop avoiding the truth. Tell me now who Gary’s father is!”

“His name is Vandal Savage.”

              The way Rip said the name made it feel like something had crawled down Ava’s spine. Everyone at the Time Bureau knew about Vandal Savage and what he had done. She had made a list of serial killers and all-around awful people who could have been Gary’s father, but Vandal Savage hadn’t been on the list. The name had come up, but she had doubted that he was a possible candidate. Ava looked at the file on the floor and picked it up to check. For once in his life, Rip was not lying.

“You think Gary could be the next Vandal Savage?” she asked, still working to accept it.

“I don’t want to underestimate the possibility,” Rip said. “His father trained him to be a killer. I would be a fool to assume Vandal Savage’s son didn’t have the same potential of evil. Those who are mentored by him go on to aid him in his activities or commit their own atrocities. If Gary ever does turn, then I plan to take him out myself. You should too.”

Ava laughed. “Gary wouldn’t…he wouldn’t.”

              She couldn’t say that he wouldn’t turn evil. It hadn’t been a year and she’d completely forgotten. Gary had given into Neron’s influence and worked with him. She and the Legends had a hand in contributing to his fall, treating him like crap and using him as unicorn bait and not paying overtime. But it wasn’t like he had gone Damien Darhk evil, just a henchman really. The way Rip was looking at her…he knew something had happened.

“Go ahead and take his file,” Rip instructed. “Use it to make your own judgement. Take yours as well.”

Ava glanced back at where hers was still sitting on Rip’s desk. “I only brought Gary’s to be replaced. It’s too late to get mine.”

“I suppose you’ll have to leave it then. Maybe it’s for the-”

“Hold on,” Ava held up a finger. “I’m not done. You redact that file but make a copy first. Leave it somewhere on the Waverider. Think of it as way to make it up to the last eleven versions of me that you thought of as disposable.”

Rip looked regretful. “I’m not proud of that and you deserve to know the truth. I’ll leave the file in the room no one goes into. Now will you please let me go?”

Ava picked up his memory flasher from the floor and put into her pocket. Taking Gary’s file and making sure it was the unredacted one, she tossed Rip the key to his handcuffs. He managed to catch it as Ava started to open the door.

“You were a good mentor,” she told him. “But you don’t care about people unless they help you achieve your goals. You did it to me. You did it to the Legends. You probably did it to Gary too. Everyone who can help you gets used, and they leave you for it. And one day, you’ll have nowhere left to run and no one to help you. It’ll be a sad ending, but you brought it upon yourself.”

Rip stared at her as she opened the door and walked out. Ava exhaled as she strode towards the bathroom. She had always wanted to give Rip a piece of her mind for what he’d done to her. Inside the bathroom, she programmed the courier to take her back to Central City and Mick just a few minutes after leaving them. Hopefully, she’d still be able to see her favorite niece.

~~~

              Behrad watched Atropos drag the golden thread from his chest. He had heard of people talking about their life flashing before their eyes, but now his life was being pulled out before his eyes. The Fate had her bone knife held back and was ready to swing down. No one was here to save him, but hopefully someone would come for Zari. This was it.

He was going to die without anyone at his side and he was going to die before he could tell Ava what he had found out from Gideon.

Behrad was going to die before he could tell her that Gary’s father was Vandal Savage.

SNIP

~~~

Stacey had tried to get him to stay another day, but Gary knew he had been gone long enough.  He had to get back to the manor and get back to his magic studies, especially with his father’s return. The Legends were going to have to be notified that Vandal Savage was back at an Encore and after the Loom of Fate as well. He didn’t even have to tell them that the man was his father…yet. But it would better they knew before he found them and let that bomb slip.

After making sure protections were put on the house and its occupants, Gary drove the car that he’d rented back to the dealership. He then planned to portal back onto the Waverider first so he could tell Captain Lance and the crew. Before he did, Gary pulled out his phone. He hadn’t looked at it for days so he could get away from everything, but he’d missed a voicemail from John.

“Hey, Gary. It’s John,” he heard as soon as he pressed play. “We found the first piece of the Loom…”

Gary listened the message twice. His heart did sink when he realized that he had missed saying goodbye to Ray and Nora. Hopefully, domestic bliss was treating them well.

“I miss you. Just…let me or someone on the ship know you’re okay, right? Bye.”

              Both times, Gary smiled at the last words. He had missed John while he was away. Whatever they were was murky and muddled, but he felt there was something there. Then again, he could just be reading into things too much. He probably hadn’t helped things with his own disappearing act. But he did want to see John again.

              When he made it onto the Waverider, a chill traveled down his back. Something was off about the ship and he didn’t know what it was. As he started heading in a direction, he passed Zari storming away out of the med bay. Mascara was running down her cheeks, so something was wrong. Gary’s gut twisted fearing the worst.

“Zari, are you-”

“Not now!” she snapped, brushing past him.

Gary watched her go and peeked his head inside the med bay. His heart sank as he saw John lying on one of the beds, eyes closed. Oh no, no, no.

“John?”

John groaned and opened his eyes. “Gary?”

“Oh, thank goodness. I thought you were dead.”

John’s face fell as Gary entered the room. “Starting to wish I was instead.”

Gary shook his head. “No, don’t say that. Not after the last time.”

“You don’t know?” John sat up with a wince. “Gary, how long have you been back?”

“Barely a minute, but I did see Zari crying. Is she okay?”

“Hardly. Her brother’s dead.”

The world stopped for a few seconds as that news sank in. “What?”

“Behrad was on the ship with Zari when- Gary!”

              He hadn’t realized he’d been falling until John reached out to grab his arms as his knees hit the floor. Gary could hear him telling him to calm down, but he was hearing his father’s voice swearing to find the Legends. His father had sworn to find the pieces and the Legends. With two of them in the same place, he would have easily taken the opportunity to kill two birds with one stone.

“How did he get on board?” Gary mumbled.

“He?” John frowned. “No, it was a she. Charlie’s sister, Atropos. She wanted the rings and nearly got them. Charlie and Sara got the rings, but she got away. She almost took me out too if Nate hadn’t found me.”

Gary sighed in relief not only because John was alive, but because it hadn’t been his father who had found the ship and killed Behrad. But he absolutely hated that he hadn’t been there. Behrad was not the one who should be dead right now. If he hadn’t gone off the grid for a few days, he could have been here and helped him, maybe even saved him.

“Strangest thing though,” John muttered. “I swear when I was bleeding out by the creek, someone was standing over me before Nate found me.”

The panic that had gripped Gary earlier returned.

~~~

              Lachesis pushed the soul coin to the side when she was finished with the summoning. She started studying one of the other coins she’d recalled earlier while waiting. Even when the flames started to rise up and she heard the screaming, she just kept examining the coin and how useful they could be. When the intended soul finally appeared, Lachesis glanced up at him. As predicted, Vandal Savage was furious.

“What am I doing back here?!” he demanded, striding up to her table. “I was so close to taking out Constantine!”

“I know,” Lachesis told him, setting the coin to the side. She would decide on its usefulness later. “I don’t doubt you could have slaughtered the whole crew.”

“As if your sister wouldn’t have done the same.”

Lachesis narrowed her eyes. “Atropos has restraint, something that you seemed to have forgotten during your duration in Hell.”

The dictator scowled. “I was not known for leaving a job unfinished.”

“Except that wasn’t why I sent you to the surface. I would have called you back sooner, but Atropos required your assistance in finding Clotho. But now that you’ve returned, I’m curious to know how the family reunion went?”

A smirk slid across Vandal’s face. “Gareth refused my offer. He wouldn’t turn on the Legends, but that doesn’t mean they won’t turn on him. It’ll be inevitable, but it can’t hurt to speed things up. Should I make an entrance for them later?”

Lachesis smiled. “You’re getting your touch back. You’ll get your revenge soon enough, but first we need all the rings in one place. Clotho’s doing the dirty work retrieving them all, even if Atropos is collecting earlier than she should. Once she has all the rings, then your son will bring you back.”

“Gareth’s magic is powerful, but how will you convince him to bring me back?”

“Oh, I won’t be doing the convincing,” Lachesis gave a low whistle toward the shelves where she knew the hellhound lurked. “Marchosias will.”

The man across from her took a half step back as a growl came from the darkness. No matter the evil or bravery in a soul, the sound of a hellhound drove a spike into the fear of all. Lachesis watched as Vandal recovered himself and nodded in agreement. Lachesis picked up another coin and examined it. Yes, she would be a good one to bring back.

“You can go now,” she told Vandal. “If you’re still angry I brought you back so soon, there’s plenty of people to take it out on down the street.”

“Until we meet again.”

Lachesis glanced up as he started to open the door. “How much does your son know about what happened to his mother, Vandal?”

“What does that have to do with the plan?” he sneered.

“If you want him to stay after he betrays Clotho and the others, I need to know so as not to let the wrong details slip.”

“I told it him it was pneumonia. He was only six, he didn’t ask questions.”

Lachesis nodded. “I won’t mention the truth then.”

Vandal didn’t say anything else. He just walked out the door and closed it behind her.

Lachesis picked up the next coin in Astra’s stash. Jack the Ripper would be a fine addition to the souls she would bring back.

[geekthefreakout]

Here, have a Concept™

Mick and Len each suffer from chronic pain. That's basically a given. Through the decade they've learned each other' bodies- Mick knows that he always has to sleep on the left when Len is cuddling him so that Len's bad arm doesn't get slept on, knows that when Len's face twitches just so the sex can't get too wild because Len doesn't like to admit that his knee is acting up, but it does. Mick always keeps a stress ball on him so Len can warm up the hand Lewis broke once (and lord that was terrifying, Len *needed* his hands and they'd both panicked quietly while treating it as teens) and a brace for the bad knee in his pack. Len doesn't let things like pain slow him down, but Mick won't let him hurt more than necessary.

And Len learns that as much as Mick complains about the cold, he needs to make sure his partner never gets too hot because those burn scars won't sweat. Len can see from the set of Mick's jaw when he needs a head rub or his back cracked. Mick's physical issues were acquired much later in life than Len's were, but Len has learned them all just the same. He knows that Mick is distrustful of most doctors (they all try to drug the fire away), and so Len learns how to reset that tricky shoulder, how to tell when Mick's burns require treatment and how to monitor a concussion. He reads up on psychology, gets the latest journals to keep current. He hides them inside art textbooks.

(And after a while he coaxed Mick into letting Shawna give him a looking over after a heist, and he gets Mick to talk to Harley sometimes, but boy is it a fight)

But see the thing is, that was all stuff only Len got to know about, really. Lisa knew a lot of Mick's problems, but while she's family she isn't *Len* and after the Vanishing Point and the Oculus Mick is pretty sure she isn't gonna want to see much of him anyway (he's wrong about this).

And Ray, Ray *tries*, he does, but Haircut for sure doesn't know his life story and Mick isn't gonna sit him down and tell him that he's dislocated the one shoulder so many times that pops out at any old thing nowadays, or that he might overheat like a damn toddler in a locked car. So Mick just keeps to himself. He squeezes Len's stress ball, some times. When the headaches come, he leans his head against the Cold Gun and tries to remember Len's clever hands massaging his temples. He doesn't ask Gideon for a pain killer. He doesn't ask for help. He drinks a cold beer instead.

When he starts hallucinating, sometimes Len looks at him with eyes that are worried. Ghost-Len-- Halluci-Len warns him to turn down the heat in his room (he doesn't want to, he wants to burn burn burn until the fire that took Len takes him too), snaps at him to watch out for that goddamn shoulder...

And sometimes Mick listens to the Len in his head. Sometimes he doesn't. When the team notices something is wrong (which takes them a while) Sara urges him into the med room again. Ray helps her, and stands in the door with his arms crossed like he'd stop Mick from leaving unless he behaved and got checked out (bullshit, Mick thinks, Haircut ain't got it in him, and Len whispers that maybe he could inside his head but that's in his head and not here and Len is NOT HERE) and he starts to tell Gideon to fuck off.. but then something happens;

You see, Len.. Len figured out that there was a very strong chance he'd be dying on this trip (why else would he have not gone back for Mick?) and Len hoped that Mick would find his way back to the Waverider eventually and had worked something out with Gideon before he died. It's the "Mick Hates Doctors" protocol. Gideon projects an image of Len into the room and everyone just kind of freezes because *what the fuck* and then Holo-Len starts to talk.

"Hello, partner." He says. "If you're seeing me all Princess Leia like, then I guess it happened. I bit the big one." The hologram shrugs. "I'm sure it was appropriately bad ass, and that they'll be singing songs of Leonard Snart, Robber of ATMs throughout all of time. Anyways, if you're around and I'm not... that means there's no one there to cool you off. Yknow, get you to.. chill?" Holo-Len smirks and Mick swears under his breath because this *fuckin bastard* but Holo-Len goes on. "Mick, we don't have hearts. We always say that. It's always bullshit. And I know I got lots of shit to make up to you and I'm hoping that I've at least got started on that by the time you see this but knowing me... not likely, right? I'm a Cold sonuvabitch, I know. Always have been. But you always saw around that so I'm hoping you're gonna listen to what I'm saying now anyway." Holo Len looks right into Mick's eyes and even semi-transparent those eyes are so sharp they cut right through him. "I need you to trust the crew. Or if you can't, go home and trust Lisa and Shawna. You need people Mick. You... you ain't like me. You need people. Heh... I only ever needed Lisa and you. But you shouldn't ever be alone, Mick. And not because you're out of control without me or whatever other bullshit people say.. hell, bullshit I say. You shouldn't be alone because you deserve better. You deserve something good. You deserve someone to reset that shoulder and reset it properly. You deserve someone to help you get rid of those migraines."

Len's smile grows tight. "You deserve for those burns to be treated. You deserve to go home to my sister-- and Lisa deserves you going home to her, cuz whatever happened to me was not your fault. So, partner, if you're seeing this, this is the last thing I want you to promise me. I want you to swear on this-" and here Holo Len waves the hand with their ring on it, the ring that Mick now keeps on a chain around his neck "that you will go talk to Harley, and that you will make that Timeship turn around and get back to Central for Lisa's birthday, and that you'll keep Raymond out of trouble, like you kept me out of it. And let Gideon check out that head of yours now and again for concussions. Trust them, Mick. Promise me." And holo-Len looks away from Mick. "I imagine Raymond and Sara are with you. At least one of em probably had to drag you in here. So to you guys: you look after my partner." Len smirks. "You're my only hope."

And Ray let's out a wet little laugh, actually crying while Sara is tense and teary. Holo-Len looks back at Mick one last time. "Well, that's about it, I think. We're on our way to kidnap my baby self. That should be fun. This can only go well." He smiles sardonically then clears his throat, looking sincere. "So here's me, signing off. Look after yourself Mick. I know we ain't heroes but... you've always been a hero to me. Funny how that comes full circle, isn't it? And Mick... just..." Len shrugs. "Well, you know, don't you? Chill." The hologram smiles and blinks out.

Mick can't speak. Sara's shoulders relax, and she stares at Mick like she's never seen him before, like she isn't sure what to do. Ray... Ray strides forward and throws his arms around Mick. Mick let's him for a moment and then "Haircut... my shoulder hurts. Ease off, will ya?"

And Ray learns to reset a shoulder. He's not Len. He'll never be. But he's there. So is the team. Mick lets them be.

~fin