#‘nah I like a little fire’
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Worthless steal 🙄
#critical role#critical role fanart#fjord stone#fearne calloway#ashton greymoore#‘Ashton do you want this’#‘nah I like a little fire’
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That time in ancient Greece when Aziraphale needed a speedy horse and accidentally invented the pegasus
VS.
Whatever Crowley had going on in medieval times
#Crowley just really misses the unicorns ok???#Also Crowley didn't start from a horse to make a new unicorn#he looked at a horse and was like.... nah#then looked at a goat and was like YEAAAAH LET'S GOO LET'S MAKE YOU BIG AF AND YOU CAN ALSO SPIT FIRE WHAT A GREAT IDEA!!#While Aziraphale is fretting over the fact that he accidentally gave WINGS to a HORSE and every time that the angels asks about it he's lik#whaaat?? PegaSUS naaaah never heard about it. Must be a made up thing. humans...right?? silly little things ahahah *sweat nervously*#good omens#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#pegasus#unicorn#Do I wanna draw the precious good omens beans? yes.#is this an excuse to draw more horses? also yes.#medieval crowley#ancient greek aziraphale#CAVALLIIIIIII 🐎🐴🐎🐴🐎🐴🐎🐴#good omens comic#historical husbands
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Can someone tell me why I love stories with a character who thinks they don't deserve the other so much?!?!?!
I don't care if it's OOC, all of my characters are fucking insecure...
#but then again I like characters BECAUSE they are insecure#And I already know the answer to that question#I know that it's because I AM insecure#no need to actually point that to me#anyway#have currently about an hour to write and do you think I would be responsible and write one of the dozens of requests I have#or finish a chapter for a series?#nah#better write a little something I will never post#much much better#am i going to hell for writing about real people?#yes#the answer is obviously yes#but then again i'm queer so according to our dear old Dante I'll be sipping cocktails while listening to duets between Bowie and Freddy#Mercury under a rain of fire anyway#might as well add that to the list
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SURPRISE ITS ANOTHER DRAWING-
Silent Orders
(Inspired by a drawing made by Clover_Noir on twitter of the same name. It gave me Fire vibes for some reason-)
Fire is made by @creatively-cosmic for their story, Missing Numbers. They have an ask blog called @themissingnumbers, so please go check them out if anybody sees this.
Extras are below the cut.
I don’t do backgrounds like this often. It’s not very good, but I’m still proud of this one :)
#SURPRISE BITCH YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONE-#Nah I’m joking ;)#I finally got my first ever drawing pencil for my tablet a little while ago#I’m not drawing with my fingers anymore baby! let’s go!#I really like Fire if you couldn’t tell btw-#He’s so interesting and did I mention that I love his design?#IMMA NEED THAT JACKET SIR /j#I just think he’s neat.#He (and everyone else in Missing Numbers) deserves so much better.#ALSO I DID A BACKGROUND THIS TIME#NEVER THOUGHT I’D DO ONE OF THOSE#YIPPEE!#Also Starry if you’re reading the tags please give bro a coat up on Mt. Silver please I beg of you-#I can’t get up there to hug him myself so a coat will have to do#Please let him know that he’s not alone
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Martin was giggling when he decided to make uncle and dad the same thing in valyrian and make a a lot of uncle/nieces marry each other
I bet 50 bucks that Freud's ghost was visiting him and giving ideas.
i really think there must be something up with his family to make him so obsessed with this lmao like he had NO reason to put this in his worldbuilding. or i also like to think that his family is 100% normal, it's just him wilding and so they spend all of their thanksgivings watching him like this. especially his sisters and nieces:
#like i really can't stop thinking about his poor nieces since daemon is canonically like his little self-insert favorite character#WHY did he lean so hard into this#we should be bullying him more for this#though i am thankful because how else would i find a family THIS fucked up to write about#i really said “nah the fire nation royal family from atla isn't messy enough it's time to upgrade”#ask#asks#answered#hotd#house of the dragon#fic#fic: stormbreak#stormbreak#aemond targaryen#daemon targaryen#rhaenyra targaryen#rhaenyra#daemon#aemond#daemyra#daemond#rhaemond#aemyra
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Sometimes I gotta sit my anxiety disorder down at night and go:
Okay, yes that thing you’re freaking out about COULD happen, but even if it does, it will not and physically CANNOT kill you. It’ll just be annoying to deal with and you’ve dealt with it before. You’re alive now through those times, you’ll live again. It will be FINE.
#anxiety#anxiety disorder#i am 90% fear at night i SWEAR#i cannot be left with my own brain for too long#i stress over the most basic things#currently im scared about being fired#even though i have done nothing wrong#like literally there is zero reason i would be fired#but im still scared that im gonna go to work tomorrow and my boss will be like ‘you’re fired actually’#when thats NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!#i KNOW its not#but still#scared as fuck#i feel like typing it out though helps a little#which is why im posting#the brain is silly like that#im stressed as fuck over nothing#really i shoukd be MORE stressed about making sure my passport gets registered before next year#so i can go to sweden when i have the opportunity#but nah#anxious about being fired
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I feel like the game's trying to tell me something. I'm not even doing Nightmare often and suddenly I'm bombarded with special Diavolo cards.
Okay I get it the man's fine as hell and his little dance sprite shooting fire is lit af you don't gotta tell me that I can admit defeat and now it's nice to have him in the battle - It's like playing Smash and you got to beat the challenger to earn a chance to play em lol.
#obey me nightbringer#obey me diavolo#This is strange hes like not my favorite but every free draw i got him#The games like “Oh you sick of Mammon and Lucifer? - Here's Diavolo!#And i mean im not complaining but i still havent found a thing for the angels or Belphegor#Is Belphegor even alive at this point or did we 'Lesson 16' him?#And look Diavolo may not be my fave but i can admit the dudes cool and Nightbringer is warming me up to him#I seriously really love his little fire animations tho - Hes like our cute lil firebender burning things down to cool ass beats#they always go 100% for the demon prince and i like that since it makes sense the top demon dog got it lol#Nah but in all seriousness; I'm grateful ive been in a rut with this game so the new cards make me feel better about playing
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oh boy i sure love it when the fire alarm in the building goes off and i can't stop shaking for the next 3 hours 🙃
#it was a false alarm of course. thankfully.#but adjgksg I'm so bad with loud noises and fire alarms set me off especially bad#thank god the dog was weirdly calm about it otherwise I would've done a lot worse#nah he got up all eager when I grabbed his harness like I was just taking him out for a pee lmao#helped me keep my cool a little#but yeah that was. not how I wanted to start my day ajfkgsg#now it's gonna take me hours to relax again#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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Do you think that at the start of jeremy's career he was actually pretty energetic and silly compared to how he is now or do you think he was cold even at the start of his career
that's a great question! now that i think about it, i do think he would have been a lot less jaded than he is now--he does love the news after all, so i'm sure that would have been like the start of a dream come true for him--, but i think he's always been kind of this reserved, more introverted kind of person. like, it is a fact that he's never been to Boseman's house for dinner, and if he did go to any of the CH1 award shows during the early years of his career he probably was super reluctant to go and just had a terrible time lmao.
i think he just ended up making up for his own lack of a social nature off-camera with like, sheer audacity and outstanding journalistic work, which probably had boseman going "ok this guy is a bit weird but damn if he can work those cameras" lmao.
and i also think that he'd have struck up a friendship with jenny pretty quick and been bantering with her since then, cause that's how he shows love, by telling you you have absolute shit taste in dates <3.
#not for broadcast#juli answers#nfb asks#i dont see him as eager to network as megan or as hyper as bannon can be#he's a weird little guy who happens to be damn good at his job#which now that he has tenure is like nah im not going to your award show fuck it you're not gonna fire me anyway bye lol
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i have so much respect for pep for escaping this institution the way he did
#nah it's insane when you deep it the little boy from santpedor under the tutelage of cruyff barça was pretty much in his BLOOD#but he was shrewd and pragmatic enough to see the club was supremely fucked and decided he'd rather engage in self preservation#than lose his hair over the institution. and now seven years at city and counting! and still dominating the sport!#if messi had a fraction of his foresight he'd have left ages ago#pep said you can't fire me i quit. messi clung on like an obedient dog and got stabbed in the back for it#he's practically developed a taste for the abuse!
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So I sent it to my wife and here's her reaction
(translation in the picture id)
#fuck the republicans#i mean seriously#how can people sleep at night#yeah let's talk about killing our own women because they want to do something#what something they want? overtherow the government?#naw#what then#fuck little children?#nah#steal from shops?#make houses affordable?#kill the rich?#make everyone like gays?#they want to be able to get rid of fetus#like what#they want to have abortions#it's their bodies so what the hell why do you even care#I CARE BECAUSE IT'S UNGODLY#what is#KILLING BABIES#uhm#have you heard of Gaza genocide?#HAVE I HEARD ABOUT CHRISTIAN WOMEN KILLING BABIES ON AN AMERICAN SOIL#what#THE LORD SHALL PUNISH THEM WITH DEATH#are you okay mister republican#AND SHALL COMETH THE LORD WHO NEEDETH TO FIRE THE ARCHANGEL'S SWORD AGAIN#hello? earth to the republican! are you all right?#I WON'T ALLOW WOMEN TO KILL BABIES#but it's their body
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#yall ever just get ur heart smashed at like 1am on a random saturday#went from “we were destined to meet” to “nah hes not my type” in a monfh#idk i think i have a right to be a little sad#anyway im contemplating setting myself on fire but. my cat needs me and i love her very much#i hate it here lmfak
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jealousy, jealousy...
- nanami kento x reader
your husband seems to be immune to jealousy, and you've pretty much convinced yourself that he just doesn't have it in him... or does he?
genre/warnings: crack, fluff, jealous!nanami (he is in denial), implied suggestive content, mentions of pregnancy, gojo cameo (i just can't pass up the chance of him annoying the heck out of nanami ahaha)
note: based on this ask, this is a little continuation to the secret wife! and this is in the same universe as love entries so gojo is married to the love entries reader! :)
general masterlist
By all means, Nanami Kento is not a jealous man.
He knows his worth. And he knows you. Out of all people, you wouldn't try anything with anyone.
Even more so with Ino. He knows him too, and there is just no way.
So... he really shouldn't get riled up, especially when it was his shitty senior who tried to set him on fire—
"It's still beyond me, how you managed to bag her," Gojo remarked with a bark of snort. Both of them shared the same table in this high-end bar, an afterparty for the school's graduation, but Nanami was seriously considering to move after Yaga left earlier until this clown came. "And keep her a secret too. I mean, that's so foul! If I were your wife, I'd divorce you on the spot."
Nanami threw him a pointed look. "The feeling is mutual. I feel bad for her for putting up with you too. And please don't be gross and say things like you being my wife. It's appalling."
Gojo's wife being his close friend and former classmate was what foul, Nanami thought. Sure, he would acknowledge Gojo's relentless efforts, but still, anyone willing to be this shameless paintbrush's wife must lead a really daring life.
The strongest sorcerer rolled his eyes. "Nah, I'll have you know that my married life is full of bliss. I have a proof, look at my—"
"If you want to show me hickeys, I'll seriously report you for harassing me."
And to that, Gojo merely whined and pursed his lips, and Nanami finally had some peace. He really entertained the thought of going back, because Gojo wasn't exactly a fun company, and this was getting late, until…
"Hey, Ino—the one who always follows you around," Gojo suddenly said. "Whoa, you're letting him close to your wife too, huh?"
Nanami whipped his head to where you were, and true to what Gojo said, you were indeed there, talking animatedly to his junior.
You were all smiles, and Ino was every bit as excited as you were. There was nothing remotely wrong with how you were conversing. You two looked like a pair of really, really good friends.
Ever since word of your marriage got out and became common knowledge, you've been receiving the kind of attention that Nanami wasn't sure he preferred. While he hadn't intended to keep it a secret, he certainly felt that a more private life was preferable.
But the thing was… weren't you too close with him? If it were up to him, Ino could've had at least two steps back. What were you discussing anyway?
"You're a lax husband, Nanamin, heh," Gojo whistled, totally grinning because he won this fight. "I know you probably think it's harmless, but a puppy is still a dog, you know~"
A puppy... is what?
That night, that phrase was what going through in his mind over and over as he chugged down his drinks.
No way, no way... It must have been because he had too much to drink. He couldn't possibly!
The next time he felt that unpleasant feeling, it was on one night, at the comfort of your home.
Both of you had just finished watching a movie, still lounging on the sofa. You were blissfully humming, texting away on your phone at—Nanami looked at the clock—11 p.m.
Now, now, he wasn't one who would be checking your phone or such, but he couldn't deny the curiosity within him, because you weren't usually texting anyone this late at night.
"Hehe~" suddenly, you giggled and Nanami glanced at you in wonder. You seemed to be having fun.
Who... are you texting?
Despite telling himself he wouldn't meddle in your affairs, he gruffly cleared his throat. "Dear, it's late."
"Oh?" you whipped your head to him. "Oh, yeah..."
You were genuinely confused, your husband was folding his face as if he was sour of something. "Kento? What's wrong?"
But suddenly, his face lit up into a smile, kind of forced though. "Ah, nothing..." And suddenly he lifted you up from the sofa, making you almost yelp as you dropped your phone and wrapped your arms around his neck. "Time for bed."
However, what you didn't realize was that your phone's screen lit up just as the sender replied to your message, and Nanami caught a glimpse of it.
Ino.
A puppy is still a dog, you know~
The heck?
"Kento?" you asked again, and he immediately turned to you, unable to read the message. Still, his mind was reeling in many ways, and when he looked into your innocent, round eyes, suddenly he clicked his tongue, eyes slitting in dissatisfaction.
"Time for bed, dear."
Long story short, that night, your husband was somehow a little more aggressive than usual... even as he fondled you ever so softly at the end.
The third time, Nanami had enough.
He had just finished a mission when he got that call from Ino, informing him that you were at a clinic after nearly passing out.
Out of anyone else... how could you not call him first?!
He may be vexed, but worry was what clouded his mind the most. You were almost five months pregnant now, and to have this happening to you—
He walked in to find you lying on the small bed, your eyes lighting up when you saw him. "Kento..."
"What happened to you? Why didn't you call me?" his voice was rough, and your smile fell. You felt him gripping your hand tightly. "How can you—"
Ino, sensing his apprehension, suddenly intervened, "Uh, Nanami-san, it's not—"
Nanami turned to him sharply, causing him to gulp.
"We were... in a bakery when Y/N-san suddenly felt faint," the younger man explained. "Please don't be too hard on her."
"And why are you with my wife in broad daylight?"
"Kento, it's not what it looks like!" you squeezed his hand urgently. "We were just... trying to find a cake, you know..."
"...what?"
And that day, everything Nanami thought he knew was turned on its axis. Perhaps, if he wasn't thinking too much—if Gojo's words hadn't taken his mind, he wouldn't jump into conclusions this easily.
Your first wedding anniversary was just in a couple of weeks, and you had enlisted in Ino's help to find this one bakery that he swore sold only the best goods. Your texts to each other were solely about that—nothing more, nothing less.
"Aww, Kento~" you cooed as Nanami helped you into your shared bed once you got back home. "You got jealous, it's cute, and I'm happy~"
He huffed. "I was not jealous."
"Ehh, didn't look like that to me though~"
"Listen," he said, taking hold of your shoulders once he had seated you on the bed, looking straight into your eyes. "From now on, whatever you do... you have to contact me first, alright?"
"Oh—?"
"When you need something, when you don't feel well, when you feel like you might be in some kind of danger..." his tone was serious, emphasizing each word. "You have to reach out to me first. You don't go to Ino, Gojo, or anyone else—me. You go to me. I'm your husband, and I intend to fulfill that role well for you."
And he placed a hand on your tummy, gently caressing it. "And of course the father role for the baby too."
You clamped up, totally speechless. This unexpected development made your heart soar with a heap of giddiness.
"Yes!" Your smile was so wide and radiant that Nanami was sure he had started to blush too. Then you flung yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck in a hug. "And you know... you're already the best husband and soon-to-be father ever! So you don't have anything to worry about, okay?"
Ah, how nice. Nanami chuckled as he placed his hand on the small of your back.
"Mhm, and from now on, I'll take charge of our anniversary. You only have to take it easy, alright?"
And when you giggled, he thought having you in his embrace like this was enough to satisfy him—after all, he was a simple man.
Epilogue
"I know even Nanami gets jealous! Heh, heh, heh~"
Gojo laughed crisply, and Shoko snorted as they listened to Ino recount the story, with the latter scratching his head uncomfortably.
"I really didn't mean anything, and now I feel kinda bad," the younger man said, his head dropping. "Nanami-san seemed upset too..."
"Not many things can get under his skin," Shoko remarked. "I really thought he'd be more rational, but having an expecting wife must've taken quite a toll on him too."
"Nah, don't find more excuses, Shoko! Now is time to pay up~!"
As Shoko grumbled and Ino was lost in his own thoughts, a loud cough suddenly echoed behind them.
"Gojo-san... Ieiri-san..." Nanami leveled his unamused gaze on them, his glasses glinting in the light, causing the two gulp. "What are you two doing?"
#nanami kento x reader#jjk fluff#nanami x reader#jjk x reader#jjk x reader fluff#kento nanami x reader#nanami x reader fluff#nanami kento#kento x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#nanami kento fluff#kento nanami#kento nanami x you#nanami fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk imagines#jjk drabbles#nanami x you
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Name five thing you will take with you in a zombie outbreak
A fucking gun (No actually an axe bc a gun would need munition)
An encyclopedia of all existing plants and animals in my region
All my plushies (if I put them into one big bag they count as one right??)
A medical kit
A pen ok all poetry aside I‘m taking one of those flip mirror thingies because I could use it for multiple things
#Aw hell nah none of those Zombies are gonna get me#I‘m prepared#I‘m counting food as findable#And I kind of know how to make a fire#Sooo I could cook#Also it depends how the virus is transmitted#If it even is a virus#Anyway I can lay on my plushies and use them as pillow and/or a makeshift mattress for a little bit of comfort#I got this thought out#Medical kits are always important#anonymous#Life#guns#gun#gun tw#I‘ll better trigger tag this just in case#Also I don‘t have a gun in my house but I do have like 5 axes that absolutely noone ever uses#Also the encyclopedia so I know what‘s edible and what‘s not#And what animals to look out for#“Oh no I am faced with a big aggressive hairy thing let me just check what it is!” *sound of pages turning*#*I get brutally killed*
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it's all you're good for, right? - r.c
pairing: bitchy!pogue!reader x rafe
rafe knew you wouldn’t take his disrespect lightly.
you never did.
he’d expected you to blow up the second he pulled that ignoring shit at the dinning. he was ready for it—your texts coming in hot, maybe you showing up at his house, ready to tear into him like you always did when he pushed too far. he'd never say it out loud, but a part of him almost liked it, the way you’d get all fired up, spitting mad. it was hot.
but you didn’t call. not a single text. you didn’t show up to the party that weekend, and when he tried to hit you up, just looking for a booty call—because fuck, he was so hard thinking about you—it went straight to voicemail. he stared at his phone like an idiot, calling again. blocked.
you? block him? nah, that wasn’t supposed to happen. rafe was the one with the power here, or at least, that’s how it used to be. it was always this push and pull, but he was the one pulling the strings, right? no fucking pogue was ever going to order him around. right?
wrong. the next weekend rolls around, and there you are at one of his parties, looking good as ever, laughing with your friends like nothing happened. and still, not even a glance his way. for two weeks now, you’ve been completely ignoring him, and it’s starting to get under his skin. more than it should.
he watches you from across the yard like a fucking creep, sipping his drink and trying to act like he doesn’t give a fuck, but inside, he’s low-key losing it. he half-expected you to walk right up to him and give him hell like you always do. but no, you’re just... doing your own thing.
but what’s really making his head spin is what you're wearing. the outfit is pure trouble—skin-tight and leaving almost nothing to the imagination. a barely-there black mini skirt, riding up just enough to make his jaw clench, paired with a tiny top that’s more like a bralette than an actual shirt. it’s low-cut and clings to your curves, thin straps barely holding it in place, and the way it hugs your body?
yeah, he’s fucked. the way the skirt moves when you walk, teasing just enough thigh? it’s like you knew he’d be watching.
he hates how much it turns him on.
every guy at the party notices. he can see the way their eyes follow you as you move through the crowd, laughing, like you don’t even care. but it’s the way you’re ignoring him that’s really pushing him to the edge. normally, rafe loves the attention despite the look of disgust he always greets you with when you show up. loves knowing you’re secretly going to end up in his bed. but tonight? he’s not so sure and it’s killing him.
by the time he corners you, all he can think about is tearing that outfit off. the silent treatment? that shit was way worse than anything you could've said.
“alrigh’, i get it,” he starts, throwing his hands up like he’s already done with this conversation. “jesus christ.”
you just blink up at him, completely unfazed, like he’s not even worth a reaction. his words might as well be bouncing off a wall. the fact that you’re standing there looking so fucking good, and acting like he doesn’t even exist, is messing with his head more than anything you could’ve said.
he’s pissed, yeah, but more than that, he’s desperate. desperate for a reaction. for anything. but you just brush past him, your body touching his for the briefest second, like you’re doing it on purpose just to make him snap.
rafe stands there for a second, blinking in disbelief. did you just really blow him off like that?
before he even realizes it, he's following after you, shoving through the crowd like a man possessed.
“are you serious right now?” he hisses when he catches up, grabbing your wrist lightly but firm enough to make you stop. the emotion in his voice is undeniable, and everyone nearby is pretending not to watch the little scene. “you're really just gonna walk past me like that?”
karma’s a bitch.
you finally turn to him, but the look in your eyes isn’t anger—it’s indifference. that cold, detached stare that fucks with his head more than any of the shouting matches you’ve had in the past. you pull your wrist free with ease, like his grip is nothing.
“’m over it,” you say coolly, like you’ve already moved on from the whole thing, “whatever this is? it’s not worth my time.”
that does it.
he’s used to the back and forth, the fire between you, but this, you acting like you don’t care at all—it’s new, and it pisses him off more than he thought possible. he steps closer, dropping his voice lower so no one else can hear.
“bullshit,” he says, eyes narrowing. “you’re pissed, i get it. but don’t act like you’re done with me. you aren’t.”
the smirk that curls on your lips is almost cruel.
“watch me.”
you turn and walk away, leaving rafe standing there. he knows he should let it go, but every time he tries to convince himself of that, the way your body looks in that outfit, the way you shut him down so easily, keeps replaying in his head.
and instead of walking away, he’s right back where he started, chasing after you like he can’t stand the idea of not having you anymore.
before you even get two steps away, he snaps.
his patience has run out, and all that pent-up frustration? yeah, it’s got him seeing red. he doesn’t even think about it—just moves. his hand wraps around your arm, and in one swift motion, he’s hoisting you up like you weigh nothing, slinging you over his shoulder.
“what the fuck, rafe!” you shout, your fists pounding on his muscular back, but he doesn’t stop. eyes burning, jaw clenched—he doesn’t give a shit who’s watching. not his friends, not anyone at the party. right now? he’s too pissed off and turned on to think straight.
you wriggle in his grip, your legs kicking, but he holds you tight, marching through the party like it’s no big deal, even though everyone’s definitely staring. he’ll deal with the fallout later.
“put me down!” you’re practically growling, and maybe under any other circumstances, he would’ve listened. but not tonight. tonight, he’s done playing nice, done pretending like he’s not obsessed with you or your body, done trying to act like he’s got control over this situation when clearly, you’re the one pulling all the strings.
his grip on you is tight, and possessive, and you’re too furious to care about how turned on you secretly are. he doesn’t stop until he reaches his room, kicking the door shut behind him with one solid thud. the sound of the lock clicking is loud in the tense silence. then, he throws you onto his bed, like you're nothing more than a ragdoll.
you bounce once, staring at him with wide eyes.
“what the fuck is wrong with you!” you snap, sitting up on the bed, glaring at him.
he’s pacing now, running his hands through his hair, wild-eyed, like he’s trying to calm himself down but can’t. he turns to you, his face twisted in frustration, like he’s been holding something in for way too long. and when he speaks, his voice cracks just enough to show how on edge he really is.
“you!” he explodes, pointing at you like you're the only thing in the room. “you’re what’s wrong with me!”
his pacing slows down, and suddenly he stops. he turns back to you, both his hands shooting up to his temples, fingers pressing into his head.
“you get in my fucking head,” he admits through gritted teeth, jabbing his fingers into his temples like he’s blaming you for every thought he's had for weeks. “i can’t think straight because of you. every fucking time, you crawl into my head and just—won’t—leave.”
instead of letting his little meltdown get to you, you lean back on your hands, with a bratty scoff. “how is that my fucking problem?” you snap, crossing your arms like you couldn’t care less about his breakdown. “that’s on you, not me. maybe you should try, i don’t know, leaving me alone.”
rafe stares at you, his chest heaving, his jaw clenched tight, “you think this is a joke?” he growls, stepping closer, closing the gap between you two, his presence almost suffocating. “you think you can just sit there and act like none of this is your fault?”
you give him a fake sweet smile, leaning forward just enough to be in his face, “maybe you shouldn’t have fucked me in the first place, hmm? god forbid your friends find out you’ve been slumming it with a pogue.”
it’s the fake docility in your smile that makes him want to break something. he steps even closer, his breath hot and heavy as his eyes lock onto yours, blue and furious.
"that’s what this is?" His voice is low, almost a growl. “you seriously don’t get it, do you?" he leans in, his face inches from yours, his expression almost daring you to keep pushing. "this—whatever the fuck this is between us—this isn’t about them. it’s about you." his hand shoots out, gripping your chin, forcing you to look at him. "don’t act like you didn’t know what you were getting into from the beginning."
you yank your chin free, rolling your eyes, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing how much he's getting to you. “right. you ignoring me at the dinner? guess i was supposed to just sit there and take it, huh? maybe you wanted me to be a good little bitch and not make any noise.”
you might be pissed, but you're not just angry—you're hurt, and that fucks with his head more than he cares to admit.
rafe huffs, running a hand through his hair in frustration, looking away for a second before turning back to you. “what the fuck do you want from me? huh? you want me to call you my girlfriend? you want me to fucking introduce you like this is some kind of relationship? be fucking serious.”
"be fucking serious?" you repeat, "you gave me a 200$ tip, you fucking asshole!" you shove him hard in the chest, catching him off guard. “like ’m some kind of fucking whore!”
rafe's eyes widen as he stumbles back a step, “wait—what? no, no, no. that’s not what it meant.”
you glare at him, shaking your head in disbelief. “of course, it fucking was!” you shout, shoving him again, harder this time. “what else would it mean, huh? you throw money at me like it’s supposed to make everything okay, like ’m some kind of... some kind of pogue you can pay off and keep quiet.”
he looks stunned, his mouth opening and closing like he’s trying to figure out what to say. “that’s not—fuck, that’s not what i meant. i wasn’t thinking about it like that, okay? i was trying to help you!" he blurts out, his tone defensive, like he can’t believe you’re twisting his intentions into something they weren’t.
you laugh, but it’s sharp, biting. “help me?” you stare at him like he’s lost his mind. “oh, please. shut the fuck up. why would you ever want to help me, rafe? be real.” he tries to speak, but before he can you’re already stepping back. “if you want to fuck me, just get on with it. i need to leave. so, make it quick.”
what?
“is that what you think this is?” he doesn’t move to touch you, but the tension is strong enough to feel suffocating. “you think ’m just here to—”
“to fuck me? yeah. that’s what this has always been about,” you cut him off, “and you know what? it’s okay. let’s not drag it out. do what you do best—take what you want and leave me the fuck alone.”
he’s not ready to admit that this feels more than just a hookup. he’s not sure if he will ever get there. rafe’s chest heaves as he stares at you. he’s done trying to explain himself.
“fine,” he snaps, stepping closer until his chest is almost brushing yours. “if that’s what you want.”
your breath catches in your throat, but you don’t back down. not when you're this annoyed. “yeah, it is. stop wasting my time.”
in one swift motion, rafe pulls you to him by the waist, with his usual roughness that makes you drip between your thighs. his lips claim yours with a bruising force. it’s not soft or sweet—this is raw, messy, all tongue and teeth. his hands are everywhere, gripping your hair, your ass, pulling you flush against him like he can’t have any space between you. you’re both moving with frantic, desperate eagerness, like this is less about desire and more about proving a point.
“is this what you want?” rafe snarls against your lips, breaking the kiss just long enough to yank your top over your head, throwing it somewhere in the room. “to get fucked stupid and leave? that it?”
you let out a breathless laugh, but it’s overflowing with venom. “that’s all you’re good for, right?”
so much for making peace.
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he opens the mail
Captain Price opens a package, thinking it’s intel, but it’s a sex pollen. The only cure? Your pussy, apparently.
Warning: sex pollen tropes, extremely dubious consent, attempt at satire?, angry john price
“We’re never going to make this deadline. Laswell’s gonna kill me,” you complained, burying your head in the pile of envelopes and packages strewn over your desk.
“Did this to yourself, lass. Shoulda been keepin’ up with intel duty. Wee bit at a time, ‘s what I say,” Soap patted you on the shoulder, feigning pity.
You spent hours combing through the documents, and by the time everyone had gone to bed, your fingers were covered in paper cuts, and your vision was blurry from squinting at the poorly scrawled Cyrillic words.
You thought you were alone, and as you stood up to stretch and refill your coffee mug, Captain Price opened up the office door, scaring you half to death.
“Oh, hey Corporal,” he smiled and then furrowed his brow, “What are you still doing here?”
You sighed, pointing to the piles of documents,
“Laswell’s intel backlog. I’m the only one with a Level 3 linguistics cert for Russian, so here I am. Gonna be an all-nighter.”
He closed the door and sat down across from your seat, digging into the pile,
“I’m Level 3. Let’s finish it.”
“Captain, you don’t have to do that. I’m sure you’ve got more important things…”
Price shook his head, taking off his hat and hanging it on the chair back,
“Nah, tha’s alright, love. I’ll help ya. Get us a tea, yeah?”
You knew how he took his tea, and you hated that you did. Secretly, you were obsessed with him. He was always around, smelling like balsam wood and tobacco, looking like a gladiator, huge and capable in the most masculine way. It was hard to concentrate when he was nearby. Now that he had offered to help, you had to grin and bear it.
You worked together for a while, chatting, even laughing. It was nice. You had so much in common, the conversation flowed easily, and you found yourself much more at ease. Finally, three packages remained. You opened the first one and found little more than phone records for a local library. Unhelpful to say the least. Price opened a water bill, and he recognized the address of a recent Konni base location. Any intel at this point felt like a celebration. Then, the final box.
“Go on then. Show us the ending,” he smiled, handing it to you.
“Couldn’t take the joy of ripping up the last letter, Captain. Be my guest,” you smiled.
He chuckled, tearing into the envelope. In a flash, bright pink powder sprayed him directly in the eyes, and he writhed in pain, pinching them shut, his whole body going stiff.
“Fuck me!” He shouted.
“Hang on,” you ran over to the sink in the kitchenette, ��Here’s some water. Get that shit out of your eyes.”
“Don’t,” he moved away from you like you were on fire, “Don’t touch me. Might be contagious.”
Your chest was rising and falling with your labored breathing, and you were immediately worried. You reached for your phone and called Laswell.
“Laswell, Price got anthraxed by one of the intel letters. What do you want us to do?”
She gasped,
“What? Shit. I’m on my way.”
She hung up on you. You watched Price slowly try to open his eyes. They were stained hot pink from the powder.
“You alright?” You asked him.
“Yeah, love,” he sighed, “Doesn’t hurt anymore. Feeling strange though. Laswell said she’s coming?”
You nodded,
“Yeah, just in case.”
He nodded, running his hand along the inside of his collar. The captain was sweaty and a little pale.
“Captain, are you okay?”
“Mmm, no,” he shook his head, “Something’s not right, love.”
He stood and went to the sink, washing as much of the powder off as he could. You moved away from him and stationed yourself across the room, praying for Laswell to hurry.
Price was in a bad way. He took off his shirt, and he was still dripping with beads of sweat. You tried not to stare, but his temperature wasn’t the only thing heating up. His huge cock was making a prominent tent in his pants, but he was in too much pain to bother hiding it. You felt yourself blushing, and you willed yourself to pull it together.
“…fuckin’ hell,” his hand went to his crotch to squeeze his length, trying to find some relief, “Sorry, love.”
“It’s okay,” you said politely, trying to breathe normally, but feeling the slick rush melt between your legs.
“It’s makin’ me…feel…bloody hell. I can’t hold it off. Can…can you…? No! No, what the fuck am I sayin’? No,” he shook his head, rubbing his hands down his face, hot and very bothered.
You inched closer to him,
“If I haven’t been affected yet, I’m sure it’s okay. How should I help you?”
“No! No, stay back. I’m not…I can’t think straight. My mind’s got one thing on it,” he shoved his hands beyond his zipper and began to jerk himself off, his dick making lurid noises with his hand.
You hated seeing him so helpless. You moved to his side,
“Cap, it’s okay. Let me help you.”
His hand was around your throat in milliseconds. Price shoved you against the wall and began to kiss your mouth, furiously laving his tongue against yours.
“No, no, no,” he whispered through his kisses, not bothering to pull away as he spoke his lamentations.
You made the mistake of putting your hands on his chest to steady yourself. He moaned, trembling beneath your touch,
“Ahh, careful.”
“Sorry,” you pulled your hands away, still trapped in his firm grip around your neck, “did I hurt you?”
“No, doesn’t hurt.”
He said it in a way that darkly implied your touch was igniting a different kind of fire. You put your hands back where they were, and his eyes shot open, piercing through yours with a lustful rage. Unexpectedly, he ripped off your shirt and lay you down on the black leather couch in the corner of the office. He crushed you with his weight, kissing you deeply.
Then, your phone rang. He didn’t allow you to pause, so it went to voicemail. It rang again. You were getting just as hot as he was, and you weren’t that interested in who was looking for you in the middle of the night. Until, however, the door to the office burst wide open and Laswell and Gaz burst through it.
Price snarled. You’d never heard a man make that noise before. Laswell put her hands on her hips while Gaz tried to shield his face in shock. Laswell rubbed her forehead, frustrated,
“Are his eyes pink, Corporal?”
You escaped his jaws for a moment,
“Yeah, why?”
“It’s a sex drug. Forces the user to fornicate as it is only passed through the body in seminal fluid, dissolving in the heat of another person’s body. Are you volunteering here? What happened?”
Her tone was so matter of fact, it was a little humorous, if Price’s length wasn’t rutting against you in earnest, you might've laughed. You tried to explain as much as he would allow,
“Got too close… just… happened. How…” you moaned as Price pulled down the strap of your bra and helped himself to your nipple, “How did you know?”
She sighed, typing something into her datapad,
“Checked the incident log from this afternoon. Four more cases of this have popped up in intel collections. Gonna have to screen for it next time.”
She turned to walk out of the office with Gaz, and you called after her,
“Hey, wait! How long does it - oh, fuck… how long does it last?”
Laswell had the audacity to smirk at you, raising her eyebrows and cutting her eyes at Price’s swollen cock, lolling out of his pants, scraping itself against you.
“Eight hours. Looks like you’re in for a rough night, Corporal. Maybe next time you’ll be more careful.”
Part 2
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