#‘colonize me daddy’

[miscelliteeous]

British men over 40 have such a stranglehold on me.

[ladytauria]

trick or treat!!! 🎃🎃🎃

(and thank you for your comments on my lil drabbles!!!! i loved reading your tags & thoughts<3<3)

(<3 i'm glad! i love reading your stuff!! it's always so good! & ty for ur tags on mine, i appreciate them sm <33333)

this is a snippet from a wip i've been working on for... i think about a year now, lol. working title is "slipping tongues" & is v loosely inspired by that one panel, where jason calls himself "daddy" while defusing a bomb xD

i shared a slightly earlier snippet of it here~

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Of all the things he could have said—

It’s all Tim’s fault. He’s been driving Jason crazy all night. It’s Jason’s fault, of course, for agreeing to Tim’s idea all those weeks ago in the first place. He’d been complaining, again, about his nights at the lounge, and at the time… Well. He hadn’t seen how Tim playing as Hood’s arm candy could go wrong.

Big mistake.

He’d forgotten just how much effort Tim put into his undercover identities.

Or—

No, that wasn’t quite right.

Jason had been expecting Tim’s identity to cater to their audience. And in a way, it did. There was nothing threatening about his appearance, the act he put on. The amount of conversations that had taken place right in front of him, as if he wasn’t even there would be infuriating if it wasn’t playing right into their hands. But the appearance of the disguise…

That was tailored specifically to Jason.

Subtle makeup to soften his face; just enough padding to give him the illusion of curves. Small breasts, a black wig, just a bit longer than his natural hair—and jewelry to draw the eye from anything he couldn’t disguise. And—look, okay. Jason is biased. He thinks obsessive, 72 hours no sleep, wearing his rattiest clothes, caffeine-addled gremlin Tim is hot. This Tim? Dolled up in provocative outfits and sultry make-up? He’s a goner.

And Tim knows it. He walks a fine line, teasing just enough to drive Jason mad without also compromising his persona as Hood. It’s maddening… and hot as hell. Could anyone blame him, if maybe his brains were a bit addled? Or if maybe, just maybe, he wanted to turn the tables on Tim, even if just for a moment?

Jason doesn’t think so.

If Tim asks, Jason will tell him it was a slip of the tongue. He got too deep into the Hood headspace. Otherwise—they can just… forget about it. Pretend it never happened in the first place.

Yeah. That sounds good.

[giantkillerjack]

The artist that made a real-life Dorian-Gray-ass painting and convinced the actual King of England and his cronies that it was a good portrait they should show to the world is now the funniest person alive.

They really got Charles to purposely release a picture of his own green-tinged face floating in a fetid ocean of the blood spilt by the British Empire and giving a weak smile of Imperialist reassurance - they really did that! This is a performance piece!!

I swear Charles III's regnal portrait looks like something out of one of those edgy urban fantasy RPGs from the 1990s where you play as, like, evil gods or whatever. You'd be thumbing through the character creation chapter and happen upon a writeup of a splat called "the World-Breakers" or some shit, and on the facing page you'd see this:

[kopifurann]

its Indonesia independence day, so it's mean i can draw Netherlands in dog collar

[charlesxavierthirster3000]

Denim — C. Xavier

Pairing: 60s (First Class)!Charles Xavier x GN!Reader

Summary: Charles takes you out, but you're quite the fussy shopper. (Pls spare me idk how to write summaries 😥)

CW/Tags: suggestive content, pre-beach divorce Charles, no use of Y/N (there never will be on my blog), don't like don't read.

A/N: Huzzah guys I'm finally writing !!!! This prolly won't get much traction bc it's not Logan but fuck it we ball 🔥🔥 This has been rotting in Docs for like a week and I just finished it like 15 mins ago so here we go.. 😁 Also I wrote this as Fem!Reader in mind but I realised it could be GN so I'll just put it as that :3

WC: 461 / Navigation

Divider credits (They're so cute istg bro) here and here

Charles Xavier was not your sugar daddy. He could believe he was all he wanted, but your very minimal amount of dignity drew the line at that title.

The man could buy you everything you ever even thought of — which was fairly easy, considering his mutation — yet you wouldn't admit it even if you had 8 fully loaded AK-47s pointed at your face.

“Just get it, for God's sake,” Charles drawled, nodding at the pair of mid-blue bootcut jeans you'd been fawning over for what felt like half his lifetime. 

When you give the gorgeous denim another doubtful up-down, he gets up from his concerningly squeaky stool bordering the men’s section and reaches for your wrist.

“It would take immense effort to make me go bankrupt, sweetheart.” He places his credit card in your palm, gently forcing your fingers over it with a short smile. It's not the first time he's done this, and it most definitely won't be the last.

“I have a pair just like thi—” you try to argue weakly, but the gloved hand over your mouth leaves you no choice but to shut your gob. God, this man was direct.

“Uh-uh, not hearing it. We both know exactly how much you want it. End of discussion. Go pay.” 

He carefully nudges you forward in the direction of the distant cashier, but you blatantly refuse to move an inch. He stares incredulously at the back of your head and you have to bite back a laugh beneath the confines of his palm. 

You should’ve expected it, but the British in your brain still catches you by surprise. Damn colonizers.

“Get the damn pants. Your ass would look lovely in them,” he pats your ass with his free hand as punctuation, attempting to urge you forward yet again.

“All you care about is my ass,” you retort mentally.

“Yes and no. It's definitely up there.”

“I'm gonna bite you.”

“Kinky. But keep it in your shorts ‘til we get back, yeah?”

He takes his hand off your face and gets out of your head. You whip your head around to silently complain at him, but he's staring right back at you with a smile that, to the normal person, would look as if he'd done no wrong. But to you, it was only making your situation worse.

The same smile which was pissing you off in ways you didn't even think possible morphs into a genuine laugh delivered softly, and for God's sake, you can't keep your stomach from doing a brief flip at the sound.

“Fine. Pretend you don't want them. But you're going to pay with my card, and I'll show you exactly how much you won't regret buying them when we get back to my office.”

[violetwolfraven]

Wait wait wait remember that post about how Team Starkid/the Lang brothers are going to be comparable to Shakespeare 500 years from now and it was mostly played for laughs like yeah lol you’ll need a paragraph of footnotes to explain the zefron poster but like

I don’t think that’s actually far off from how Starkid’s place in theatre history might play out and here’s why. Just hear me out

Why is Shakespeare so popular today when he definitely wasn’t the only playwright from that era? When he’s not even the only playwright from that era from England that we have surviving works from?

Two main reasons:

1) Shakespeare’s work is (relatively) universally relatable. The characters do things that are so fundamentally human. They make jokes at their friends’ expense. They complain about being awkward in front of their crush. They have daddy issues. The plot lines of the plays aren’t too complicated. The dick jokes land whether you’re watching in 1611 or 2024, and they probably still will in 2637. Shakespeare’s works are timeless because he didn’t try to outsmart his audience. He wrote about things everyone could relate to rather than trying too hard to peacock his intellect in front of the nobility. This is not true of every playwright.

2) Shakespeare was really popular right around the time England started colonizing everything in sight. Copies of his work got shipped all around the world, translated into dozens of languages, performed probably thousands of times. Setting aside the moral implications of this, the important thing to note is that Shakespeare was about the most easily accessible English playwright during a time of rapid, intense globalization.

Meanwhile, Starkid:

1) Invests hard in meaningful, relatable character arcs instead of spectacle and expensive sets or costumes. Also, lowbrow, immature humor and dick jokes that make A Very Potter Sequel funny and enjoyable regardless of if you’ve ever seen any other Harry Potter media in your life.

2) Posts professional recordings of their musicals to YouTube FOR FREE, making their shows about the easiest, best quality musical theatre you can get pretty much anywhere in the world, regardless of if your area has an active theatre scene. Proshots from other companies are rare and usually not free. Bootlegs are all well and good, but even if the video quality is alright (and that’s a big if) the audio is usually garbage. Starkid has been posting the best quality free recordings they can afford since 2009, shortly after the birth of social media, another time of rapid, intense globalization.

In short, I’m not saying that theatre historians in 500 years won’t remember any our current Broadway faves, but I am saying that in my opinion, Team Starkid is probably going to be more accessible for the general public. If you’re a 26th century English teacher trying to teach your class about narrative structure in 21st century theatre, what are you going to show your students? A bootleg of Hadestown with blurry video and garbage audio? Or the professional recording of Twisted, parts of which they will probably even enjoy, because even long after no one remembers Disney’s Aladdin anymore, your class of 26th century 16-year-olds are still going to laugh at “No One Remembers Achmed.”

[skylarsblue]

✦Even. More. Incorrect C.o.D Quotes.✦

Y/N, pinning Soap’s arms with their thighs in sparring: Haha! Eat shit, Scotsman! Soap, struggling: FUCKIN’ ‘ELL, The hell is in your thighs?! Y/N: Pure spite and protein, bitch! --

Someone: Hey Johnny. Y/N: Oh, no, only Ghost can- Soap: Oi! Only Y/N & Ghost can pull that off, it’s Soap to you. Y/N: Yeah he- wait me too? *gaaassp* Ohhh is this what favoritism feels like?! Soap: Pfft, maybe! Y/N: I enjoy it a lot! <3

-- American!Y/N: Fuckin’ git, he’s off his rocker, that one. The entire team: … American!Y/N: *dramatically smacks their hand over their mouth* Gaz: *laughing* Was that genuine?! Y/N: AH, I’ve been conditioned! I’ve been colonized! Soap: COLONI-*WHEEZE*

-- Fem Fatal!Y/N: What th- what is this, a spy movie? You want me to infiltrate by being some eye candy?! Laswell: It’s the best option we have. Ghost: I disagree with this. Soap: Me too! This feels real nasty, I think. Fem Fatal!Y/N: *sigh* Fine, I’ll do it. God gave me these tits for a reason, might as well use’em for somethin’. Gaz: PFF-no no, don’t be funny, this is a bad situation.

-- Graves: No! You can’t, cause if you take it- …you’ll be hurting my feelings :((( Ghost: You know, I was thinking about that. And, the thing is…I really don’t care.

-- (In a ride back to base; just makin’ conversation)

Gaz: Do you find boys attractive? Or girls. That’s one what to check, if you’re not sure. Y/N: *chuckles* You think I’m not sure? Y/N: Everyone’s attractive to be honest, even if it’s just something small. Like, some people have really gorgeous hands. Y/N: I don’t know…I’m a little bit in love with everyone I meet. But I think that’s normal. Gaz: …hm, suppose that’s a fair answer…

-- Soap, laughing: You watch it or might just start fallin’ for ya, L.T! Ghost: …would you like to? Soap: Eh-…huh? Simon: Would you like to? Fall in love with me, I mean… Soap: ….well I-…well, yeah. I wouldn’t mind…if you’d let me. Simon: …I’d let you. Soap: Well then, guess that’s it then. Woo me, Si. Simon: I’ll do my best.

-- Someone: I don't need advice from a team of virgin losers. Y/N: VIRGIN LOSERS?! *grabs Price’s shoulder and motions to him aggressively* You gonna tell me you think this man doesn’t fuck for a living?! HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?! Gaz & Soap: *for the millionth time trying not to laugh* Price: *he’s not encouraging it but he does look kinda smug*

-- Gaz, on TikTok: Everyone’s always like “Kyle how’d you bag a baddie, how’d you bag that baddie bruh-“ I didn’t bag shit. Y/N picked me up from my neck, threw me over their shoulder and I’ve been on it ever since. (Zooms out to show that he is in fact, on their shoulder) Gaz: And I ain’t got no plans on getting off anytime soon-

(This also works with Soap & Ghost)

-- Y/N: Why’s it always you got mommy issues or you got daddy issues? Me personally? Both my parents got me messed up, the side I pick? Is mine. I ain’t Hannah Montana- Y/N: 🎶but I got the best of both worlds!~🎵 Ghost: *he’s laughing on the inside, I swear*

-- Ghost, on the verge of dissociating: Why be sad…when you can just be ✨g o n e✨ Soap: Si, no-

-- Graves: Punch me. In the face. Didn’t you hear me? Y/N: I always hear “punch me in the face” when you speak, but it’s usually subtext. Graves: *huff* Well I- *gets punched so hard he falls over* Y/N: ….that felt good. Ghost: I’m so proud- Price: Stop encouraging them.

-- Soap, bursting into the briefing room: Y/N got into a fight! (Insert running scene) Price: Soldier, what hap- Ghost, sliding up in front of them: Did you win? Y/N: Of course I won. Ghost: Nice. Price: STOP ENCOURAGING VIOLENCE-

-- Y/N, in a vent above a room: Soap, it’s me, the devil! Soap: *wheeze* Gaz: *trying so hard not to laugh* Y/N: I’m here to convince you to do SIN. Come with me. Steal candy from babies and from small businesses! Soap: *WHEEZE*

-- Y/N, passing by: *does that super flirty “up & down” look* Hey König…~ König: Hallo, guten morgen. Y/N: *smiles and keeps going* König, as soon as they’re gone: *deep breath* Ohmeingottohmeingott *tiny scream*

-- Ghost after being asked about his feelings on Soap: *heavy breathing* ……..nextquestion-

-- Gaz, a menace on TikTok: Batches be on the lookout for Captain Save-A-Hoe, cause he savin’ hoes. Price, minding his business: ? Y/N, dramatically “swooning” in the background: I WANNA BE SAAAAAVED *falls* Price, unaware he’s having a thirst trap made for him: ?????

-- (I think bullying Graves is funny)

Graves: Let me tell you how this is gonna work- Y/N: You ain’t gonna tell me shit. Graves: Listen!- Y/N: Suck my dick. Graves: Listen to me!- Y/N: Suck my dick. Graves: Shut up, listen to me! Y/N: Suck my dick, you fuck man. Graves: Listen!! Y/N: Suck my dick. Graves: You will be here and listen to my ord- Y/N: You’ll be here sucking my dick. Graves: Listen to me, now! Y/N: Go fuck yourself.

-- Y/N: I would rather lead my team into a pit of fire, than have them wield guns for your ignorant usurper cunt of a general. Price: *mans is so proud it’s showing in his chops*

-- Simon: Your eyes are like sapphires…jeez…ahem, that’s pretty corny though, huh? Soap, swooning: No, not at all. Anyone would like it…aha… Simon: …uh…is this- Soap: Working? Oh yeah, thoroughly wooed, sir. Simon: Good, good.

-- Price: Please tell me you didn’t drag the boys into this. Y/N: I didn’t drag Soap & Gaz into this! *insert banging on door* Price: Who is that? Y/N: I think you know.

-- Soap: I wouldn’t wish that ‘pon my worst enemy. Unless, of course, we’re talkin’ ‘bout my enemy Philip Graves. Soap: Fuck you, Phillip(/neg), you know what you did.

-- Gaz: So you have feelings for this person. Just rip the bandaid off. Y/N, with daddy issues: It’s Price. Gaz: *inhales through his teeth* Put the bandaid back on.

-- Y/N: …Ghost? You’re into Ghost? Soap: Mhm…thoughts? Y/N: And prayers, Johnny. And prayers.

-- Gaz: Are you straight? Y/N: *chokes on drink* Don’t ever fucking insult me like that ever again.

-- (Some type of escort mission or somethin’)

Price: This woman wouldn’t know how to fix a broken fingernail. Fem!Y/N: Honestly, you lot have to be the most boorish, crude, pig-headed men I’ve ever met. Price: Hey, I’ve seen the high-bred boys you’ve hung out with, princess. I’m the only man you’ve ever met.

(Insert overly intense sexual tension here)

-- König: How does that even make any- *knife sound* König: *looks down at the knife in his thigh* Did you just- *takes knife out* Did you just stab me? What is your problem?!

-- (I’m only using Alejandro cause the dude in the audio had a slight Spanish accent, mans is definitely a feminist)

Alejandro: It’s not natural for girls to fight. Fem!Y/N: Now it’s not natural for a man to be as stupid as he is tall, but mm. Here you stand! Alejandro, in love: …

[just-some-random-blogger]

Accidental Targ

Scene II: he kinda looks like my ex boyfriend | Masterlist

Daemon Targaryen x Modern!Reader

Summary: After coming to terms with the fact you were in King's Landing some two thousand years before your birth, you get reunited with your friend and try to manifest your way back to the present. For the meantime, Harwin Strong is your bodyguard.

Word Count: 5k+

Warnings: fem!reader, time travel au, descriptions of reader's hair, incestuous gremlin!daemon, generally gross!daemon, harwin 'big daddy' strong, crackfic, typos, etc.

A/N: Following the events of our mighty poll 😁😁😁😁 im excited to say what won was was always my intention and im glad you lovely readers have synced with me on it BWHWAHA sorrows sorrows prayers

"Fucking Seven," I sigh and gather my thick skirts, running up to the blue haired girl. The servant who escorted her promptly curtsies then walks away. I release the fabrics to grasp her face. I sigh in relief, "thank the gods you're here, Libby."

"What the fuck are you wearing?" she asks groggily, eyeing my dress.

I shake my head, "fuck, shit, I mean Lilibet."

"And how did you braid your hai-" Libby speaks the same time as me before freezing and raising a finger, "fuck you."

I growl and grab her hand, "no, no, no. Listen to me," I push her hand down, "you remember running through that damned arch?"

Libby wrangles out of my clutch and rather exasperatedly glares at me, "what?"

I release a shudder then grab her face again, "listen to me, Libby!" I sigh, "remember that stupid urban legend?"

Libby's face contorts as she groans. She pushes my hands off her à la 5-year-old tantrum; her blue hair, in turn, flies to her face.

"We crossed that arch," I grab her arms, "and now we're in fucking first century Westeros, Libby," I hiss, pulling her to the bed, "which is why I have to call you Lilibet-"

"Fuck you."

"-and you have to change and cover your hair," I release her to grab the clothing on the sheets, shoving them into her chest.

"What ABOUT my hair!"

I shake my head, "it's a dead giveaw-"

"You're closer to dead. You look like a fucking grandma and you have problems with my hair?!" Libby throws the clothes back on the bed, "listen, I know I got wasted and shit, and I'm sorry, but if you want me to cosplay as a peasant, just say that and get me coffee, please-"

"LIBBY!"

Libby's ear's ring, "bitch, the fu-"

"THERE IS NO COFFEE!" I grab her arms and shake her, "we're being held hostage by Daemon Targaryen and this hair," I manically point to my head, "is our fucking lifeline!"

Libby's face pinches, the initial grogginess in her expression is expelled, "Ok, calm your tits, YN-wannabe. I told you reading fics of him would fuck with your head. Imagine reading fics about King fucking Charles-"

"IT'S NOT THE SAME!"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S NOT THE SAME?! IT'S FUCKING WORS-"

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT, LIBBY!"

"HE'S THE COLONIZER OF COLONIZERS!"

"IT'S NOT A FANFIC!" I pinch my fingers together, "THIS IS NOT A FANFIC! I AM telling you we fucking crossed that arch and now we're FUCKING-"

My words cease when a creaking sound of the heavy door fills the room. The both of us turn to the door as it opens. My heart begin to race.

Lo and behold, Daemon Targaryen walks in, one hand on his hilt, eyes looking us both up and down. Libby shifts in her spot as Daemon approaches. Her demeanor immediately changes when she sees him. She straightens up and pushes her hair back, dusting off her hot pink top. Aint no way.

"Do I look good?" Libby mutters to me before Daemon is in front of us. My eyes blow wide and my jaw slacks. Be so fucking for real. She fixes her radioactive blue hair and my upper lip curls in disgust and annoyance.

Libby and Daemon lock gazes; the former smirks, "hey, cutie pie."

I slap my hand to my face. The sound reverberates in the room.

"What is a cutie pie?" Daemon asks stoically.

Libby leans on one leg, "you."

"Seven fucking hells," I quip, roughly dragging my palm down my skin.

Daemon turns to me before tilting his head. He mirrors Libby's stance and his lips faintly curve upward, "in this era, girl, pies are food. What would I have in common with a type of pie?"

Libby lets out an airy chuckle, "you ren fair boys really like roleplay, huh?"

Daemon raises a brow, "I assure you, nothing about me is boyish."

Libby bites her lip and claws the air, "rawr."

I am unable to mask the sound I make. Daemon pulls his head back at Libby's actions.

I grit my teeth and grab her arm; she shakes me off, making sure to giggle as she does this. Daemon chuckles as he turns to me, "I see why you are keen on keeping her."

"You can keep me if you like," she blurts, stepping in front of me to garner his attention. Daemon steps back.

I grab Libby's arm again. This time, with much force that the ends of my hair whip around. I whisper-yell, "you do know that is Daemon Targaryen, right?"

Libby barely turns to me as she mutters, "what?"

"You're flirting with the Daemon Targaryen," I sneer, "first of his name," I lean in and whisper, "manwhore."

Libby looks at me from over her shoulder to me then back to Daemon, "ahhhh. A cosplayer."

"Libby, I swear to g-"

"It's pretty good," she crosses her arms then points, "is that a wig or hair dye?"

Daemon furrows his brows, face contorting at her words.

My eyes widen and suddenly the silver hair on my scalp itches like it doesn't belong to me. Well, see-- it doesn't! Not in a way that counts to the incestuous gremlin!

From the way his composure tightens, I could tell he was no longer amused. I yank Libby back, shooting her a glare, "literally shut the fuck up."

She scowls at my pressed tone, "what? I was just asking-"

"Hair dye?" Daemon blurts way too loud, shutting us both up.

We turn to him as he looks between us. He tilts his head and adjusts his grip on his sword. He straightens his posture. In that moment, his expression was changed dramatically. He reaches out for Libby's hair, inspecting it in his hand. His violet eyes dart to hers, "so, your hair is blue because of dye?"

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, fuck.

I grab Libby's hand before she can think of saying some bullshit. She does not move a muscle as I squeeze her palm.

Daemon raises his brows impatiently.

"What?" she mumbles.

I clench my jaw at her ditzy response.

Daemon narrows his eyes, "are you so dimwitted not to understand me the first time?

Fucking fuck. A shiver runs down my spine. Libby raises her brows and turns to me as I stare at Daemon. I blurt, "it is a right of passage for her family."

Daemon eyes me hotly.

I release Libby's hand and scramble to the bed where my clothes were folded into a small sack. I go through my things and pull out my phone, opening my gallery, showing Daemon a photo of Libby and our friends with bright colored hair. I lie, "these are her cousins."

Daemon pulls his head back at the sight of the photo on my phone; it was the exact reaction he had when I showed him a screenshot of the maps of this very place.

Libby blinks rapidly as Daemon comes to my side. The man basically breathes down my neck as he looks a the screen like a boomer. He narrows his eyes and pulls back his chin.

I point to Sandra, who had pink hair, "they do this to... commemorate the war-- of their people."

Daemon looks at Libby again, seemingly expecting more of an explanation. I look at Daemon and begin to panic at the aloof expression Libby held. I place my hand on his arm and rub it gently. Thankfully, he's still a simple man and it seems to diffuse his unbelieving demeanor, "it's hard for her to talk about. It was a war over dye and trading. A lot of her family... were casualties."

Fuck. WELL, real wars have been fought for WAAAY less.

Daemon turns to me, "I find it hard to believe such traditions exist two thousand years from now."

"And yet," I wave my phone, "you could not also believe you were listening to music with me moments ago."

He hums and turns back to Libby. He nods, "well, have her dress," he turns back to me, "I want to break fast with you before the tourney, dragonling."

I nod rapidly. Daemon gives a smile and heads for the door, "you remember your way to the solar?"

"I do."

He eyes Libby as he walks off then turns to me, "very good."

The moment the door closes, Libby explodes, "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!

"WE'RE IN FUCKING FIRST CENTURY WESTEROS," I whisper-yell, "now keep your voice down, you stupid fucking bitch, and change!"

It took me explaining everything that happened in detail as she got in her dress AND getting lost in the fucking castle then actually finding our way to the solar for Libby to believe I wasn't playing the most elaborate prank on her.

And when we got there, a servant informed us that the prince had been summoned by the king and that we should eat by ourselves.

Libby and I sit across each other. We decide to forfeit the fact the food could be poisoned because we were way too hungry not too eat. This blue haired rat, however, couldn't fucking stop saying the food could use salt and pepper. We were mortified when a servant came to us with a mortar of just that.

Before we could even say thank you, she runs off.

I snap at Libby, who scratches her headscarf for the nth time, "do you fucking understand you're a terrifying aristocrat right now?!"

"I'M SORRY!" Libby makes a repentant expression.

"You should be!"

"It's just that everything is fucking boiled and-"

The sound of the door opening ends Libby's yapping. We both snap to see who was entering.

In walks the dark haired man from the night before. Gold cloak, armor, and all. He steps in front of us and bows, "good morn."

"Hubba hubba," Libby tucks imaginary hair behind her ear.

"Fucking," I snap to her, "stop."

I look back at the man trying to remember his name, I can't seem to.

"Wait! Is this the madly good looking guard you were talking about?!" Libby speaks WAY to loud for a conversation between two people across each other.

The man makes a sound as he wipes his lips. My eyes widen and I sink in my chair.

"You clearly have a type," Libby mutters as she unabashedly eyes him. He is undeterred. She tilts her head, "he looks like your ex."

I snap back at her, "w h a t?"

"Or I mean he would look like him," she points her thumb, "if he wasn't so whiny, short, and pathetic," Libby turns to me.

"He literally looks nothing like Jon."

"He does!" she leans in, "dark curls, thick brows!"

I shove a bread roll into her mouth.

"Prince Daemon tasked me to be your chaperone for the day," he says, clutching his hand in front of him.

"I've always wanted a hot bodyguard," Libby smiles and leans back on her chair, "well, don't just stand there," she beckons him, "come join us for breakfast."

I pretend to fix my silver hair as I clear my throat, "breaking fast."

"Breaking fast," Libby corrects with a grin, "and what was your name again, pretty boy?"

I groan as I shove a bread roll into my mouth.

"Harwin Strong, my lady," Harwin mutters with another respectful nod, turning to me, "and please, forgive me for last night's encounter, Lady Gryffindor."

Libby titters and slaps her hand on her mouth.

"If I came off as impertinent or-"

"No, please, sir Strong," I raise a hand to him, "you were doing your job-- I mean your duty. Nothing needs to be forgiven."

"By the way," Libby raises a finger, "I'm Lady Hufflepuff and I would love it if you sat down next to me."

Harwin turns to Libby and I resist the urge to facepalm. My face twitches and I watch as Harwin shifts in his spot. I blurt, "you can call her Lilibet."

"Fuck you," Libby snaps.

I snap back, "well, that is your name, is it not?"

"I'm not entering my nun era."

I make a throaty sound and grab a goblet, "clearly," I take a sip, "but with that getup-"

"Hey!" Libby bangs on the table, "you're the one who made my cunt levels drop with this milkmaid outfit."

Harwin begins to cough.

"What? Like I chose that for you?"

"No," she props her elbow on the table, "but Daemon gave you a city girl-"

"Prince Daemon."

"-outfit and he made me look like your ugly handmaiden."

"Again," I brush my platinum hair out of my face, "that wasn't my choice, Lilibet."

"My ladies-" Harwin interjects, making us both turn to him. He clears his throat and offers pinched smile, "I am honored by the invitation, but I will stand watch out-"

"Oh, don't be rude and just sit down already," Libby presses with a playful look, "there's way more food than the two of us can eat."

And though she was correct, I kick her underneath the table.

Libby yelps and eyes me. I dodge her when she kicks me back.

"I don't think it appropri-"

"Nonsense!" Libby calls, turning back to Harwin as she fails to kick me again, "please, just join us."

"LILIBET!" I whisper-yell.

"UGH!" she turns to me with disgust and whisper-yells back, "stop fucking calling-"

"You do know he could literally be like your great-great-great-great-"

She raises a hand and cuts me off with a guttural groan, "oh miss me with that bullshit! You're LITERALLY a Targaryen!"

"I will wait outside," the man calls, making us turn to him.

Harwin walks off and Libby raises the bowl of bread rolls, "THE BREAD ROLLS ARE ACTUALLY REALLY NICE THOUGH!"

I wipe my face, "Libby, we're going to fucking die."

"Not before I try myself some Harwin Strong."

"SIT BACK DOWN."

"I'M SAT!"

When we finished eating, Harwin escorted us to the arena to watch the tourney.

"Are you married, Harwin? Can I call you Harwin?" Libby asks.

I shoot her a look, "Lilibet."

Libby ignores me. The man we were following keeps walking, not bothering to look back at us, "you may call me whatever you like, my lady."

Libby and I turn to each other with a gasp. No, cause why he playing like that?

"And I am not married," he looks over his shoulder, eyes locking with mine momentarily.

Libby's jaw drops and begins to shake me. She mutters loudly under her breath, "bitch. why he looking at you, and not at me?"

"Probably because you're fucking stupid!" I retort quickly in the same manner, unable to mask my giddy tone.

Harwin clears his throat again as he looks front. Neither of us catch this.

"Libby, be so fucking real though," I grab her arm and whisper, "that's someone's grandpa."

"Yeah, well, today, he's my daddy," she mumbles then bites her lips, as if it could minimize her grin.

Harwin makes a face and whispers under his breath, "daddy?"

When we get to the arena, the sound of the cheering crowds make both of us excited, up until someone screamed in terror and the crowds continued cheering anyway. Harwin gave us spots quite near the front, and the sight of the horses and their long-ass sticks left me feeling uneasy.

Libby shoves into me as she points to the far right. I, in turn, collide into Harwin's bulky armor. Before I can apologize for it, she squeals, "LOOK, IT'S DAEMON!"

"Libby, he's the prince!"

"TAKE A PHOTO! He looks so good!"

I give her a look as I straighten up, "girl, shut the fuck up."

Without another thought, she pulls out her phone from her bosom and wipes the moisture off the screen.

Harwin looks away, eyes wide, pretending he did not just see that happen.

"Stop it! You have no idea how bad this could-"

"Oh, shut up, you showed Daemon your phone!" Libby makes a face.

"THAT'S BECAUSE HE WOULDN'T LET ME GET REUNITED WITH YOU IF I DIDN'T CONVINCE HIM I WAS FROM-."

"Shush," she opens her camera and begins to take photos of Daemon. She shouts his name along with the other spectators and I beg her to at least call him prince.

"What is that contraption," Harwin asks, eyes glued on Libby's cracked screen.

I turn to Harwin, to Libby's phone, back to him, "it's, err... an image capturing... box."

Harwin nods at me though his face is visibly confused. He furrows his brows as Libby switches to front cam and puckers her lips out, "SAY CHEESE, DADDY!"

The color in Harwin's face drains when he sees himself on the screen. I clutch his arm and give him a look, "it's okay. It's not dangerous."

"Will it capture my image?" he mutters and covers his face. He mutters under his breath, "I'd like to keep my face."

Fuck. "N-not like that. It's... it's not black magic."

All the while, Libby is pressing the buttons on her phone, rapidly taking photos no one asked for.

A few people around us begin to mutter to themselves. I find myself looking over my shoulder, catching a bunch of men staring right at us. I eye Libby, nonverbally telling her to quit it. She gives me a look and snaps a few more pics of Daemon before shoving her phone back in her cleavage.

I release a breath when she does, that, and ser Harwin's arm that I did not realize I was still latched on to. I offer a look, "sor- apologies."

He nods, "all is well, my Lady."

And yeah sure, maybe it was. Maybe all was well. Daemon was winning the tournament-- or tourney, I guess; I have no idea what the difference was. I mean I could barely watch because they were fucking gladiator-ing each other, but I knew he was winning because after every crash, came a trumpet and the announcement of it.

So yeah. Maybe it was fine then, in its own sick way, but then Libby pulled me by the arm and said, "I have to take a shit."

"What?"

She gives me a look, "I need to take a shit."

"Libby," my eyes widen.

"I know!" she grabs my shoulders as the crowd cheers over whatever barbaric brawl was happening this time, "you think I want to know what their loos look like?" she shakes me, "am I going to have to shit in a river?"

I wipe my face and turn over to Harwin. His eyes turn from the match to me when I pull at his cloak, "mmm.... Lilibet has to... ... to poop."

Libby slaps my arm. I turn to her, frazzled. She hisses, "he doesn't know what poop is."

"You think I don't know that?!"

"I beg your pardon, my lady?" Harwin shifts to us, his thick brows knitting.

"Yeah, one second," I raise a finger at him, looking back at Libby, "I don't fucking remember the word."

Libby sighs, "Just tell him I need to sh- I NEED TO SH-"

I slap my hand on her mouth, "QUIT IT!"

Libby pushes my hand off, "WHAT?!"

"HE'S NOT GONNA KNOW WHAT THAT-"

"EVERYONE FUCKING KNOWS WHAT TAKING A SH-"

"NO, THERE'S A TERM THAT THEY USE! Think about it! Have you never watched a BBC period drama?!"

"BITCH, YOU KNOW I ONLY WATCH NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC!"

"OK, THEN THINK OF WHAT DAVID ATTENBOROUGH SAYS WHEN THE ANIMALS ARE POOPI-"

"DO YOU GENUNINELY BELIEVE THEY SHOW FOOTAGE OF ANIMALS POOPING ON TELEVISION?!"

"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. IN ALL TV HISTORY THERE HAS TO BE AT LEAST ONE TIME WHERE-"

"HARWIN," Libby shoves me to the side and grabs the man, "I HAVE TO SHIT."

Seven father fucking hells. I dig my fingers into the roots of my light hair and to Harwin, whose lips part and brows furrow. He nods, "I will lead you to the privy," he turns to me, "stay here in the meantime."

We both nod. Libby walks to Harwin's and makes a face at me, "they call it a privy on the BBC, do they? Sounds like an office."

"Libby- Just- if push comes to shove, tell him you'll shit in the river."

Libby groans as Harwin leads her off. She shoots me a glare, "I am not shitting in a river with Harwin watching!"

I shriek in shock when there is a loud crashing sound. My hands dart to my ears just as the crowd roars. A loud voice announces the victory of Prince Daemon from House Targaryen.

I drag my hands down my cheek and clutch my chest.

I dare to look at the casualties on the playing grounds, but to my horror, I see something far worse. Daemon's horse is galloping over to me. He rips his helmet off, tosses it, and sighs through a grin. He points his stick to me and loudly calls, "might a fair woman like you reward me something sweet?"

My eyes widen and I feel the entire stadium turn to me. My heart races and my jaw loosens inch by inch.

Daemon shoves his stick to the side and reaches his arms out to me, "a kiss perhaps?"

Rat, I wasn't even watching you play. Why should I reward you for winning a game I didn't watch?

I cannot help the sound that leaves me when the other audience members begin to spur me on and nudge me. Fuck. I hate peer pressure. I walk towards the railing and eye Daemon as if I had laser vision.

"I CANNOT REACH YOU!" I scream back, momentarily shocked by the ferocity and fury of my voice. I gulp and clear my throat, rubbing my neck that I would so like to keep. I raise my hands, "I must then stay here!"

Daemon, face shining with sweat, colored with dirt and blood, beams as he looks up. He chuckles and dismounts his steed. He walks closer to me and begins to remove his armor, "then come down to me, woman!"

The crowd loses it. The women around me scream that I should come down to him.

Maybe if I jump head first, I'll be done with all this bother.

Fuck, but then Libby would be all alone.

I groan under my breath, "fucking Libby. This is all her fucking fault!"

I look back at Daemon, who had two men helping him out of his armor at this point. His eyes are on me; they probably didn't leave. His lips are curved higher, "fear not," he smirks deeper, "did I swear to protect you?"

The crowd is feral. I glance around the place. Isn't the fucking king right there?!

"No!" I look down at him and shake my head, "you swore not to harm us!"

Daemon laughs, "is there a difference?"

"YES!" I blurt, eyes wide.

Daemon stands alone bellow me, free of his upper body armor. He raises his hands up to me, "then believe me when I say you will not be harmed when you jump."

"Oh gods," I grip the railing and screw my eyes shut, "I fucking hate this man."

"Will you make all of King's Landing wait days for you, girl?"

I growl as the people around me continue to pressure me to jump. Had there not been people around, maybe I would have spit at him. And yet - I climb the railing - I am nothing against peer pressure.

Daemon steps forward, arms higher, laugh louder.

The stadium gasps while heart leaps into my mouth when I let go of the railing and drop straight down. The collision is just as messy as I had dreaded it to be and the next thing I know, I've smack dabbed atop the fucking prince of the realm, crushing into the fucking dirt. So much for catching me.

Yet somehow, Daemon manages to let out giggles while the crowd cheers. His arms tighten around me as I push myself up on his chest, "my," he blows silver hair out of his face, "I didn't actually think you'd do it."

"Fuck you," I snap and shove myself off him.

I don't even know where I'm even going, but I storm off anyway, feeling like the biggest idiot in the known galaxy.

But of course, Daemon is quick to get up and grab my arm. He speaks some High Valyrian bullshit, but I care little for it and pry my limb out of his clutch.

It seemed that was the wrong course of action though, cause the next thing I knew, he grabbed me and threw me over his shoulder. The audience flourishes over the way he took me like a piece of meat.

I fucking hate it here.

Make no mistake, I did my due diligence and tried to wrangle out of his grip. But he was pumped with far too much adrenaline, and his inflated ego would not let him let me go.

Eventually, I got tired and just let it happen. The moment he put me down when we arrived at his chambers though, I shoved him off and distanced myself as much as I could, "what the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Daemon responds in High Valyrian, which effectively pisses me off more.

"I don't have TIME to decode your dragon-heir bullshit, so quit it! I am not a toy!"

Daemon chuckles as he takes a towel and wipes his face, "no?"

"Look," I snap, "I know you're, like, touch deprived and emotionally constipated," I stretch my arm out, "I mean, your family-- our family is a fucking wreath, so you're bound to be fucked up in the head, but please," I press my palms together, "PLEASE just be normal until the end of the day, Dae- Prince Daemon."

Daemon laughs as I go off on him. He watches me for a moment, throws the towel to his bed, and tilts his head.

My chest heaves as we stare at each other. Instead of relaxing, I begin to grow more tense with every passing second. I take a deep breath, but it does nothing for my nerves when Daemon walks forward.

"The truth in the matter is," he raises a hand, "you need me."

My stomach drops when he yanks me by the waist. His violet eyes dart down to my heaving chest. He places his one hand on my collarbone, "shhh."

The feel of him pressing onto my flesh does the exact opposite of what he wants. But no-- with how the corner of his mouth curves upward, I think it's actually the exact reaction he wanted.

When I try to push him off, he pulls me tighter into him and repeats, "you need me."

My nostrils flare but I stop repelling him.

"You need me," he lifts his gaze, "but I don't. I want you, but you need me."

I clench my jaw tightly. I am unable to contain my flinch when his hand strokes my side. He continues, "you need me to open the gate for you and your friend come midnight, do you not?"

I turn away from him.

He nudges me and asks louder, "do you not?"

"Yes," I whimper as I shut my eyes.

He hums, "then," he takes my chin in his fingers, "you'll be what I want, riñītsos." Little girl. He raises his brows. "If say you are a toy, then you say, 'yes, my prince'. If I say you are a rug, then I expect you under my heel. If I say you are my dog, then you ought to bark," he releases my chin, "now, bark, my sweet."

I glare at him, "if you want a dog, I suggest you go up North." I push him by his chest.

He laughs. He grabs my arms and pushes me back. I panic when I fumble on my feet and find myself pressed against a wall. "You're right, riñītsos. How wrong of me to liken dragon fire to dog breath."

I gasp when my back hits the wall.

"A shame," he tucks my silver hair behind my ear, "your parents did not give you violet eyes."

I am frozen in my spot when his lips brush against mine. My breath hitches when he simultaneously presses me back with his chest and pulls me forward with his hands.

I don't kiss him back. My brain was in a glitch. He doesn't seem to mind and feasts on my lips. The moment I have the wits to move, he pulls away and whispers, "worry not," he kisses my jaw, "I'll give your babes violet eyes."

Hearing that really snapped me out of my trance.

I finally turn away from him. It does not deter him though, and he makes due with kissing my neck. He moans against me, "you smell divine."

"I-it's called," I push him back, "personal hygiene."

He snakes his arms around me, "you were sent to me by the gods."

"I travelled here by accident!"

"And I plan to make good of this happy accident."

I fight him off when he claws my skirt up. I weigh my chances with screaming and with talking sense into him. I ponder of telling him my vagina is cursed, but then I think he'd be into that.

"Don't fight it," Daemon grabs my wrists, "I will quench the fires of the Targaryen blood in you that calls out to me."

"My blood does not call out to you!" I whimper.

"You may be Gryffindor by name, but you will be a Targaryen once I am done with you."

And then the doors slam open. "Your grace!"

"Harwin," I call out to the man that burst in.

Daemon growls and but does not pull away or turn, "I'm busy."

"It's Lady Hufflepuff," Harwin speaks through strained breath.

"Who?"

My stomach drops, "wait!" I push Daemon harder, "what happened to Libby?"

Daemon finally looks over his shoulder with annoyance, "what happened?"

Harwin takes a moment to respond. The dread that courses through me makes me strong enough to shove Daemon off. He grunts as I do so. I walk over to the dark haired man, "Harwin."

He clenches his jaw and turns to his feet, "I took her to the privy. She said she was having... trouble using it and that I should call a servant to help. So... I fetched a servant, but when I returned," he clears his throat, "she was gone."

I bring my hand to my mouth.

Daemon walks up behind me, "you lost a woman in King's Landing, Strong?"

"I- I did not think much of it at first," Harwin turns to Daemon, "at first I thought she may have just finished and was playing a trick on me," he glances to me but looks away at once, "but then I saw her contraption on the ground-"

I gasp.

"And then I saw a shoe... and then her headscarf-"

"Dear gods, Libby," my voice strains.

"She was taken by a group of three men," Harwin speaks sternly, "I know not for, but they've since regret their decision."

"And Libby!" I jump and grab his arm, "where is she now?!"

Harwin feels guilt eat away at him when he catches my distraught expression. He turns to me, placing a hand on my shoulder, "she's being attended to by the maesters in the ward-"

I dash to the door, intent on reaching her, though I had no idea where I was going.

"It's this way!" Daemon calls.

When I turn to see where he meant, he was already right behind me. He grabs my arm and leads me down the hall.

The moment we get to the ward, I run around and look for Libby. I am shocked solid in my place when I see the cot she is laid upon. My hands slap to my face upon catching her messy hair, dirty skin, and tattered clothes. Her waist was bound in bandages, but that didn't prevent the red to seep through from her side.

I drop to my knees and crawl all the way over to her. I yelp when I feel how cold her hands are. Hot tears burn down my cheek, "Libby, please!"

My breathing becomes more erratic.

"I've spoken to the maesters," Daemon's voice sounds from behind.

"Fucking tetanus, fucking bacterial shock-"

"They said she lost some blood but she will recov-"

"SHUT UP!" I snap and get to my feet, "YOU GET A FUCKING FEVER HERE AND YOU DIE!" I point an accusing finger, "THIS IS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!"

"ME?" Daemon snaps back, "that Strong fool was the one that took his eyes off her!"

"If you had just let us stay in your chambers like I begged you to-- but no! You wanted us to watch your stupid fucking game, you EGOTISTICAL BASTARD!"

He steps forward and barks back, "she still would have needed to go to the privy, you whining nitwit!"

"Why did they even take her?!" I whine.

Daemon does not respond.

"I do not contest that the fault is mine," another voice speaks.

Daemon and I turn to Harwin. His hands are linked in front of him, and only then do I realize they were bloody. More tears gush down my face when the man continues, "it was my duty to keep her-"

"It doesn't matter now, does it!?" I wail, waving my hands around. I fall back on my knees and turn to Libby. Her blue hair was stuck on her sweaty skin. And as I wiped her forehead, it felt like a rehash of last night, except worse. I sob, "nothing's gonna change the fact she got fucking stabbed."

Daemon looks from me to Harwin, "what of the men that took her?"

"I killed them."

My expression drops as I turn to Harwin.

The two stare at each other for a moment.

"Well, we can't question the dead, now can we," Daemon mutters, "feed their corpses to Caraxes."

"W-wait," I feel bile rise up my throat, "did- did you actually kill them?"

Harwin looks at me but doesn't respond. He walks off when Daemon orders him to get a chair. I turn to Daemon and whimper, "he didn't actually kill them... did he actually kill them?"

Daemon nods, "he did," and grabs my arms, "do not insult yourself by sitting on the floor."

For once, I do not fight him back. I let him bring me to my feet. The moment I'm stood before him, he takes my cheeks and wipes my tears.

I shake my head, "I have to take her back."

Daemon raises his brows, "you would dare to move her in such a state?"

"It's the only way she will survive," I mumble through trembling lips.

The prince looks at me for a moment. Harwin finally brings a chair. He places it beside us then stations himself by the door. Neither Daemon nor I make a move for the chair. The former asks, "and you think you can carry her all the way back?"

"Daemon," I grab his arms, "I just have to get her back. Once I'm there, it'll be half the work done."

Daemon releases a breath. He takes my silver locks and fondles with the ends, "and what if I do not want you to leave."

Fuck. "Please," I beg, "please. We both know I don't belong here."

I can see it clearly. It was so clear that those words meant nothing to him. It was talking to a brick wall. I sigh and wipe my face, "I'll do what you want. Whatever it is, I'll do, as long as you let us go by midnight."

Daemon narrows his eyes.

I muster up the most sincere expression I am capable of.

"You will give me whatever I want?"

I close my eyes and shake my head, "yes... my prince."

He does not respond. Daemon turns from me to Libby. He pulls away and calls, "Strong."

"Your grace," Harwin responds.

"She could manage on the back of an ass, could she not?"

Harwin thinks for a moment then nods, "she could."

"Then fetch me an ass," Daemon says. Harwin promptly complies.

Daemon doesn't make me do anything besides sit on his lap while we watched Libby for the rest of the night. I knew in my gut that was not what he wanted out of me, but he didn't say otherwise and I didn't bring it up. Soon enough, it was midnight and there I, Daemon, Harwin, and Libby, sat on a donkey, stood before the open gate of the castle.

Rather than thinking this was stupid and it wasn't going to fucking work, I prayed under my breath to the Seven that we be delivered from this nightmare.

But every time I felt tranquil, the donkey made a sound and I just knew it had to go. What the hell was I going to do with the donkey when I got back to the city anyway?

I clutch the satchel containing our things around my shoulders, "I'll carry her instead."

Daemon and Harwin turn to me and mutter at the same time, "what?"

"I don't want to be responsible for the donk- the animal when I get there."

"Just leave the ass behind," Daemon mutters, rather annoyed.

I grab Libby, who I was already keeping upright, and wrap her arms around my shoulders, "I can carry her."

"No, you can't," Daemon mutters.

Harwin adds, "you are not in the right mind to do this."

"Just," Daemon add, "set the beast free when-"

"I can't just let a donkey loose in King's Landing, Daemon!" I snap, "now please! Help me-"

The bells begin to ring.

I immediately panic.

A surge of adrenaline helps me gather Libby onto my back. "Fucking hell," I grunt and try to fix her on me.

Daemon shakes his hand, "here, let me-"

"I GOT IT!" I scream as the sound of the bell tolling makes my entire body burn with agitation.

I shift Libby on my back one last time and beeline to the gate.

Harwin and Daemon watch. It's impossible to tell which of them is more skeptic in the moment.

I begin to struggle and nearly trip on the annoying skirts hindering my feet. Harwin steps forward, "watch your step."

Daemon eyes him in annoyance, "how helpful."

"Fuck," I panic and begin to walk faster towards the gate, "fucking hell, it's not even that far!"

I reach the large, tunnel-like gate and can't help but close my eyes, afraid that if I could see where I was going, it wouldn't work.

Then SPLAT! I fall face down on the ground.

I scream and immediately roll Libby off me, uncaring that it hurt me, that it hurt her, and quickly get on my feet. I drag her corpse-like body across the expanse and cry as I do so.

I was manic. I was delirious. The sound of the echoing bells did not help the situation at all. I couldn't stop pleading to the gods as I tugged my best friend across the ground. I couldn't even open my eyes because I didn't think my prayers were heard.

"Enough!" a voice calls.

No. NO! That was fucking Daemon. GET THE FUCK AWAY!

I feel someone mess with Libby's body. I screech and refuse to let her go, "LET US GO, DAEMON!"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!"

"NO!" I squeal, finally opening my eyes. I release Libby and lunge at Daemon when I spot him. We crumble to the ground. Once he's on his back, I begin to beat him. It unfortunately doesn't take long for him to overpower me.

"ENOUGH!" he barks, both my hands now trapped in his.

"LET US GO!" I cry.

Daemon shakes his head, "STOP IT!"

"WE'RE GOING BACK!" I try to punch my way out of his grip. It doesn't work.

"Look at me!" Daemon yells, "you dragged her through."

"Get off me!"

"You've done it!!"

I flinch when he shakes me.

"You did it!" Daemon exclaims as he sits up, hands cradling my shoulders, "we're in your time now."

I finally register his words. Daemon looks around, "when you said ruins, I expected an empty castle, not... ruins."

A gasp leaves me when I hear a loud roar from the sky. Daemon looks up when I do, and I calm down when I realize it was only an airplane.

"Was that a dragon?" Daemon asks.

"No," I pull away from him, "that's an-" wait. I stare at him. Daemon fucking Targaryen came back with me?

[cupidscrule]

BUNNY TRAP

Stepdad!Leon X Fem!Reader

Cw - p in v, daughter chasing after dad, stepcest, noncon(?) Unprotected

WRD- 1.5k

You always knew your dad was hot, total babe back in the 2000's ever since you were a kid your friends always gushed over him, and it was fair, always thought it was gross though. Like he's YOUR dad, stepdad yeah but he still raised you, sure he had a cute face, big arms, his pornstar tits were an add on. But he was Dad, nothin' more, But fuck the way he cups your cheek when your sad, hugs you, gives you that awkward Dad kiss. Just makes you yearn for him, which is wrong you know it's wrong but it's like that itch.

Your friends are always tellin' you how lucky you are, not only is Dad hot, he's nice y'know? Real good dad, picks you up everyday, gets you real nice things. Best guy honestly can see why Mom picked him!

"Hi kiddo, you wanted to check out that new place-?" Dad said opening your bedroom door, stupid fucken smile on his dumb hot face

'bury your face in my tits'

"Oh no -! It's okay- really I'm real tired"

'fuck me till I can't breathe'

"Huh- alright, come down soon dinners gonna be ready, and sorry Moms not home yet she said she'd be here in a few weeks 'k?"

'i wanna scream your name'

"Oh it's alright, and of course dad!"

With that he left, shutting the door halfway, dick move but it probably wasn't on purpose, the smell of his colone in the room, only imagining Dad stuff you up. God your disgusting, this is dad. Fourth something year old DAD, since when did you have these thoughts about him, as a kid sure you always thought he was cute 'ohhb I would totally date someone as big and strong as my Daddy!'

But it was LIKE, not actually him. But you can't stop thinkin' about him, wanting Dad to shove your face in the mattress pull on your hair, do the shit they do in pornos. Nasty thoughts, feeling gross and hot imagining all the shit you wanna do with the poor guy, as he just stood there not knowin' thinking your his innocent little daughter who could do no wrong! Oh no she would never have sex before marriage! Oh no my little girl doesn't even cuss!

Yeah right Dad, mhm. Actin' like in middle school my friends weren't blushing over you, whenever you walked in.

Fucken idiot, your little girls not pure, she's not good. She ain't innocent, hell she fantasizes about fucken you every day. It doesn't matter, nothings ever gonna come of this right? Just walk downstairs, eat dinner with dad and go back in your room and sleep it off.

"Sweetiee you finnaly came, how was your day?" Dad says sitting across from you, he didn't even cook. Fucken liar this was clearly some bullshit from a 4 star restaurant he just put on a plate. "Oh it's fine, nothin' much." You say staring at the table, trying to distract yourself from him, how he smells, how he sits, how he opens his mouth, the way he moves his bangs out of his dumb face, his breath. The intoxicating feeling of just bein' near him now.

"Are you okay?"

"Why'd you ask that? You know I'm always fine-" you say in response, playing with your fingers, avoiding his gaze. God feels like a crush in primary school, messin' up words and giggling to your friends about the fastest guy. "You just don't seem like yourselfer Hun, you can always talk to me you know that?" He says, feeling his eyes on you, not in a creepy way more an endearing way which somehow made your entire situation worse. "yeah- I know, don't worry it's fine!" You mumble, lookin' up at him, god he really was dreamy, just wanting him to- NO no more fantasy's.

You finish up, so does he. He just gives you that concerned Dad look before you get up and run back up the stairs like a bitch and lock yourself in your room, typing into Google

'how to stop liking your dad'

'is it normal to have a crush on your dad'

'is it illegal to fuck your step dad'

Jesus Christ your search history, just laying on your side in your bed. Thighs squeezed together tryna' stop thinking about dad, you've seen him shirtless before. Yeah you felt a little hot in your core before, anytime he hugged you you felt so- just so warm. Not the lovey Awee dad and daughter warm, more like if your boyfriend hugged you nice and tight! Feels good, feels warm and fuzzy, pit in your stomach that can only be filled by one thing.

Tossin' and turnin' it's only 6:00pm shit, Dad's still downstairs probobly watching some old movie, he really likes thoughs for some reason, and westerns it's kinda creepy but your the one who wants to fuck him so you really can't be judging. your thoughts are too much to bare, a girl can only last so long on the edge, panties soaked thinking about shit, and hell when you can actually recreate what you want, Nothing's stopping you. Other then ethics but who even cares anymore, walking downstairs to Dear ol' Daddy, bingo.

"Mm- Dad-? Can I talk to you?" You mutter walking up behind the sofa he's laying in, playing with your fingers, how do even address this like,

'Oh yeah dad! Can you just bend your daughter over and fuck her till she's blubbering nonsense, you raised her since she was seven but y'know !!'

No.

"Hm, yeah of course, what's the problem bunny?" He says sitting up, glancing behind him to your miserable face, little frown on your lips. He raises a brow seeing your face, you felt all fuzzy feeling your throat get dry, the hell were you supposed to do?

"Uh Dad, can- can you come upstairs" you mutter looking at him, feeling your chest get heavy. Of course dear Daddy doesn't wanna disappoint you so he gets up and walks over to ya

"What's wrong, Hun?" He says, so sweetly fuck. Looken' all concerned for you, just fall into his chest, even though Dad was in shape he had fatass boobs, real nice to put your face in whenever he hugged ya. Just like always as a concerted Daddy does he puts an arm around you, pulling you nice and tight, "Baby?" He says in that same voice, pullin' your face away from his body, looking down at you.

"Can- can we just sit down" you say grabbing his hand forcefully and leading him to the nice leather sofa, you didn't know much about Mom but she really liked expensive shit and this was the only thing at home she bought..

You push him onto his back, his head resting on the arm, he looked kinda confused, like a puppy! You crawl over on top on him, ass rested on his lower pelvis. "Hey Bunny this is a little- whats wrong?" Dad says trying to carefully lift you off of him, awe stupid Daddy actin' like you're just gonna listen to him

"Dad just let me do this- please, you love me right?" You say looking at him in the eyes, pout on your stupid lips, he just nods slowly as a response. Unzippin' his jeans, wow this really is a shitty porno plot.

'Cute stepdaughter seduces and fucks her Dad while Mom isn't home!'

Jesus Christ you fucking creep.

With his pants open pulling out is fat cock, he wasn't hard which kinda hurt, you were being all cute and all dad did was just sit and stare in shock. Like sure you were gropen him and stuff but he could put some effort in it? Whatever doesn't matter-? You sit on his thighs pulling off your night pants, your panties were already wet from earlier, sadly it seemed Dad didn't really wanna reinact your fantasy so you gotta do all the work, flicking your garments to the side, crawling back onto him. Placing your hips over his Dick, and taking it in, feeling his tip touch your cervix "Mm- fuck-" you murmer, taking a second before getting used to it, slowly moving your hips back and forth, feeling ever little movement. It was euphoric, hands on his chest, looking at his face he looked like he was trying to not enjoy it, but you could tell he was. You felt his breath get heavier anytime you went faster, such a good boy.

His fat dick bruising your womb, your walls squeezing against him, you could hear Dad muttering curse words under his breath, made you feel kinda better about this whole thing. Going to your high and getting that numbing feeling, stomach felt warm, brain all fuzzy and messy collapsing onto him, feeling that warm stuff leaking out of you, pulling yourself off Dad, laying on his chest, glancing up at him, seeing his flushed and disturbed face, awe it was so cute!

He probably felt horrible but you felt amazing, fuck best experience. Putting your arms aside his

"I love you Dad.." you spout into his shirt

"Your Mother can't hear about this B-bunny.." he replies, putting one of arms on your back, you could feel his chest go up and down so cute.

[longing-for-rain]

ATLA Discourse Simulator: 2024 Revival Edition

🌊 katara-stan Follow

It’s sad to me how Katara was forced to take on so many responsibilities from a young age. I relate to it as an eldest daughter with trauma in my childhood.

👺 404-literacy-not-found Follow

How DARE you parentify Katara! She’s just a silly little 14 year old not mom friend!!!

74 notes

🌙 zutara-fan Follow

I like Zutara

🚓 avatar-fandom-police Follow

You’re not allowed to do this as it is personally offensive to me, a balding middle-aged man. Your femcel fantasies are pathetic and no man will ever want you. By the way I’m gay so I’m not sexist.

32 notes

🍼 aang-lover Follow

How DARE anyone criticize my perfect little angel boy, he never did anything wrong! Touching girls without their consent is just a SMALL MISTAKE and I’m sure his implied apology was really good!

🙏undercover-tradwife Follow

SO TRUE it’s so sad how many women want to ruin an innocent boy’s whole life over nothing 😢

12,547 notes

▪️zvtara-was-never-canon Follow

Zutara fans are such bitter harpies who self-project their desire to have a fulfilling relationship with a partner who respects them! It’s such a boring relationship anyway. I don’t care about it at all, which is why I made a whole blog dedicated to bashing it.

⛓️ basement-dwelling-pedo Follow

So true kitten! You put those stupid cunts in their place! By the way, when is the next chapter of your bdsm incest rape fetish fanfic updating? I’m getting thirsty 😩

▪️ zvtara-was-never-canon Follow

Don’t worry Daddy, I’ll service you soon. I can’t believe how horribly Zutara shippers characterize Aang. They should be more like me, and write Zuko as a pervert who rapes his sister instead. Please tell me how special and talented I am again, please please Daddy I need it!

29 notes

🔥 firelady-mai Follow

I love Zuko’s redemption arc so much! What a beautifully written story about breaking the cycle of abuse!

🌊 zutara-lover Follow

I really like Zuko too! I always admired his character 😊

🔥 firelady-mai Follow

Fuck you, I take it all back. Zuko is an evil racist toxic abuser. How dare you suggest he taint Katara’s purity with his colonizer genes?

976 notes

[adrienneleclerc]

Hips Don’t Lie

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Hispanic/Latina! Reader

Summary: There is an after party after the premiere of “the ministry of ungentlemanly warfare” and Henry meets his co star, Eiza Gonzalez’s friend, Y/N.

Warning: spelling and grammar errors, non translated Spanish’s because I get lazy.

A/N: this is my first ever real person fanfic so I hope you like it.

Henry was on the red carpet answering a few questions until it was time to head into the theater with everyone to see his new movie. As he was walking in, he saw Eiza Gonzalez, his costar.

“Eiza, how are you?” Henry said, greeting her.

“Henry, que guapo te ves! I’m definitely not used to your clean shaven look. There’s a party after the premiere, are you going?” Eiza asked.

“I’m not sure, I think I’m going to my hotel after this, spend time with the bear.” Henry said and Eiza giggled.

“You should come! I want you to meet my friend, she came back from her European tour la few days ago, I think you guys would hit it off.” Eiza said.

“Are you really trying to play Cupid?” Henry said,

“I just want you guys to meet, I never said anything about wanting you two to date. But if you happen to fall in love with her, don’t forget to mention me in your wedding toast.” Eiza said.

“Are all Mexicans this delusional or just you?” Henry asked, eiza stared at him. “You’re right, I shouldn’t have said that, sorry.”

“Don’t worry my colonizer friend, it’s fine. And it’s probably just me.” Eiza said.

“How come you get to make jokes about my race but I can’t?” Henry asked.

“You are a straight white man, I rest my case, now let’s get inside, I’m pretty sure we have to make a speech before the movie starts, which I find totally stupid.” Eiza said,

The premiere was over and he went to his hotel room. He thought about how it’s been a while since he dated anyone and decided to call eiza.

“Bueno?” Eiza answered the phone.

“Hey eiza, where is the party?” Henry asked.

“Yes, you’re coming, it’s at xxxx” Eiza said.

“I’ll be right there.” Henry replied and hung up the phone. Henry changed out of his suit to something more casual but still presentable and said goodbye to his dog before asking his driver to take him to where the after party was. When he gets there, he was greeted by Eiza in a fitted dress.

“Yes, you’re here! Great decision, Y/N is probably at the bar, mingle while I go find her. Oh my god, Diego! Compa, como has estado, no te ha visto en…” Eiza greeted her friends walking away from Henry. Henry saw Chris drinking at the bar and decided to walk towards him.

“Henry, buddy, how have you been?” Chris asked, hugging him.

“I’ve been great, how’s married life treating you?” Henry asked.

“Really well, I’m very happy to be back in Boston but I can’t lie, I do miss these parties.” Chris admitted. They kept talking and when they played a Daddy Yankee song, Henry heard a voice screaming.

“AAHH!! Es mi canción! Joel, cuida mi bolsa!” the Woman said, downing a shot of tequila before heading to the dance floor. Henry thought it was Eiza but it was someone else. However, when the woman started dancing, Henry couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

“Hey man, who are you looking at?” Chris asked but he just followed Henry’s line of sight and spotted the woman that was basically demanding the attention of everyone else with her dancing, that’s when Eiza approached the two mean at the bar.

“Whoo, go Y/N! That’s my bestie!” Eiza cheered her on.

“What, that’s Y/N?” Henry asked,

“Yeah, that’s her. I mean, i knew she could dance because I’ve seen her concerts when she performs at the forum, but I never knew she could dance like this.” Eiza said.

“I think your friend is making Hnery want to learn Spanish, he hasn’t taken his eyes off her since she started dancing.” Chris said and Henry hit his chest, still not looking away from the woman dancing.

“Perfect! I’ll get her when the song is over so you can meet her.” Eiza said, clearly excited that henry is interested in her friend. When the song finished, Eiza made her way to Y/N. “Y/N! Como has estado? Que me cuentas de la gira?”

“La gira fue espectacular, todos los fans cantando mis canciones, llevándome flores, estoy súper agradecida. How was the premiere? I wish I could have gone but I wasn’t invited.” Y/N said,

“Sorry! I forgot when your tour ended. Anyway, I have someone I want you to meet.” Eiza walked Y/N over to when’re Henry and Chris were. “Y/N, this is Henry Cavill. Henry, this is Y/N L/N. Chris, come dance with me.” Eiza said, pulling Chris with her, leaving Henry and Y/N alone by the bar.

“Hi.” Henry said bashfully.

“Hey.” Y/N said, fiddling with her fingers.

“I saw you dance, you were amazing, by the way, you seemed really into it.” Henry commented.

“Well i grew up listening to Shakira so you could say my hips don’t lie.” Y/N said and both of them ended up laughing. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I made that joke, que tonta soy, eh.”l

“No no, it’s okay, I laughed, right?” Henry said, making Y/N feel more comfortable.

“But seriously, my mom would put me in these dance classes, well, her friend who taught dance classes would give me free lessons.” Y/N said. “Do you dance?”

“No but I took lessons when I was filming Argyle.” Henry said.

“I haven’t seen Argyle but I really want to see this movie. Like yeah, my bestie is in it, but I really like your look in this movie.” Y/N said.

“Really? You like the messy hair and the full beard?” Henry asked.

“Yeah, your curls show off more than in your other movie, Night Hunter.” Y/N commented.

“So you’re a fan of my movies?” Henry asked.

“Am I a fan of the movies or just the attractive British actor starring in them?” Y/N asked, getting closer to Henry.

“I say you’re a fan of me.” Henry said.

“Bingo! Hope Im not being too forward.” Y/N said

“Not at all.” Henry said. They started playing Propuesta Indecente by Romeo Santos.

“Well, time to put your dancing skills to use, do you think you can dance bachata?” Y/N asked, taking Henry’s hand and led him on the dance floor.

“Only if you show me how.” Henry said.

“Of course, just follow my lead.” Y/N said.

They danced every bachata song that was played, and when they weren’t dancing, they were just talking.

Eiza sips her drink, observing them.

“They would be a cute couple.” Eiza commented to Chris.

“Yeah, he seems happy enough.” Chris said.

“Could I get your number?” Henry asked.

“Of course, give me your phone.” Y/N said. Henry handed her his phone and Y/N gave it back. “I’m gonna head out but I’ll be waiting for your call. Hasta luego, guapo.” Y/N kissed Henry’s cheek and left the party with Eiza. Chris then approached Henry who was holding his cheek where she kissed him.

“What are you thinking about?” Chris asked.

“How much a Spanish tutor costs.” Henry commented.

“Alright, buddy, let’s get back to the hotel.” Chris said, leading Henry to the exit.

The End

Taglist: @warriormirkwood @shellyshellshell

[floatingaimlessly333]

The 141(and friends(plus Graves)) as Things My Friends and I Have Said:

Gaz, playing a game with Soap: Stop using your spells on me, you magical bitch!

Ghost: Your gaydar is strong and your opinions are wrong

Price: Do not send me anime boy art of Austin from Backyardigans

Ghost: Hamlet her ass!!!

Soap: This is not Game of Thrones, ye shall not betray me!!!

Soap: I didn’t forget, but I forgot.

Ghost: Johnny, you can walk.

Soap, drunk off his ass: *falls into a bookshelf and knocks everything off*

Farah: I’ll become the colonizer! :)

Alex: You know life is good when mild sauce just hits you in the chest

Nik: Put your pinky down. The Queen is dead, there’s no need for that.

Roach: Sperm Donor Daddy Onceler

Ghost: The dog version of 50 Shades: 50 Shades of Greyhounds

Gaz: Red fish, blue fish, give me my money bitch

Graves: Face down, ass up, that’s the way that we suck blood

Soap, drunk and in the back of Kate’s car: May ah vape in here?

Laswell: You have been for the past 3 minutes.

Ghost: You’re a goose cunt.

Price, after Nik used the kitchen: Potato peeler stealing conniving little twat

Laswell: You think I have big pockets because I’m a lesbian?

Ghost: Call me the good doctor, because I’m autistic and all up in those guts.

Soap: Good night, sleep tight! Don’t let the sandman stick 2 fingers in yer arse!!

Ghost: Even if I was in Hogwarts, I’d still be autistic. I can’t avacadavra the autism away.

Gaz: Maraschino cherries don’t taste like cherries, they taste like capitalism.

Ghost: I’LL CUT YOUR DICK OFF!!! :)

Soap: Ye just milk their lil’ snake tiddies

Ghost: Holy bats, Ballman

Nik: How did the mall cops talking to the street cops prevent you from taking a piss?

Graves: I think

Ghost: You think? Incredible

Ghost: I don’t follow wizard rules

Soap: Do ye guys think oral sex from a muppet is a handjob or a blowjob?

Price, after starting a group chat with all of his friends: Wait! Fuck!! I’m disbanding the groupchat. Everyone forget each other’s numbers. I can’t have you all scheming against me.

Alejandro: I’ll be honest, I didn’t know you had a dad until sophomore year.

Rudy: H-How?!? We’ve known each other since we were four!!! YOU’VE BEEN TO MY HOUSE!!! WHERE MY DAD LIVES!!!

Ghost: I’m not going to my funeral.

[babyhatesreality]

hello hello! i hope you’re well!💕 imagine the following:

baby being a hot chip fiend.

the thought has not left me. i’m plagued with thoughts of it on the daily.😭

since katie cat is a modern little, the thought of her enjoying and munching away on takis or hot cheetos while steve and/or bucky just recoil at the spiciness of it just makes me laugh.

especially since steve and bucky were just raised in a completely different time, a stomachache waiting to happen for them, is literally just a casual little snack for her.😭💀

however, there’s also the possibility that at least one of them…bucky would like the spice.

OMG @spoopynortherndownwhore!! So this is hilarious for a multitude of reasons. The first being- I adore this idea and it makes me laugh so hard- you are a genius. Also I'm so sorry for the delay. The second- I am the absolute opposite of a hot chip fiend. Like some of the Taco Bell mild stuff is too much for me. So I have absolutely no idea how to write it because I am literally that person that get a whiff of a spicy scent and starts making faces like a two year old confronted with broccoli.

So all that being said....Imma make some stuff up because it makes me laugh and because you are amazing and I hope it makes you laugh!

This one time you were grocery shopping with Bucky, and a package of Flaming Cheetos caught your eye. You thought the cheetah with the fire behind him was pretty, so you asked if you could get it.

Bucky wasn't sure about this. "Baby, these are hot and spicy. I don't think you're gonna like 'em." But when your face crumpled with disappointment, of course he couldn't handle that. He tossed them right into the basket. "What the heck. Let's live a little."

Your cheering and giggles was all he needed to know it was the right move.

Once you got home, you were desperate to try them, but Bucky insisted on you eating a normal lunch first. Once you finished your pb&j and carrot sticks, you both decided to try them together.

At the first taste, your eyes widened from the burn, your nose wrinkled as it ran, and your tongue felt like it was on fire. And you liked it a lot. You didn't care for the burn, but once you got past that the taste was really good! You reached for another one, but your hand was intercepted.

Because Bucky, who had popped one in at the same time as you, was nearly gagging. He felt like his face was exploding, his guts were on fire, and he didn't even want to think about what was happening in his colon.

"Absolutely not," he wheezed at you, keeping a hold of your hand while snatching the bag. He put the offending fire chips from hell in the top cabinet above the fridge where you couldn't reach even with your step stool before grabbing the gallon of milk. He sloshed some into your glass quickly, before drinking straight from the jug himself.

Once he tamed the burn, he became aware that you were just watching him curiously, having not touched your milk at all.

"Didn't that burn?" Bucky asked, his voice still hoarse from the spice. You nodded.

"Yeah but it was fun!"

"FUN?!"

"Yup! Can I have another?"

"No, baby, I don't want it to hurt your tummy."

"Doesn't hurt!"

"It might not hurt now, but it'll hurt later. No more flaming hot cheetos."

"Dat's no fun."

"You'll thank me later."

"You didn't like dem, Daddy?"

"They're not gonna like ME, munchkin. Drink your milk please."

After you had obeyed and had a milk mustache, you tried again. "Dey didn't taste good to you?"

"They tasted fine, but that burn....yikes," Bucky mumbled as he wiped your face.

"I like da taste too!"

"The taste WAS good, but it's not worth it."

"Please, Daddy? Just one more?"

"Sorry Trouble, it's not happening again."

"But what if Papa like da taste? Can he has them?"

"Okay, now THAT'S a fun idea."

Later that night, Bucky had convinced Steve to try one, and relented on letting you have another- mostly so he could watch Steve's reaction to you having no reaction.

It went exactly how you think it would go.

Steve banned them from the house after watching you down three cheetos in a row in absolute horror.

When you asked what was going to happen to the rest of the cheetos since they weren't allowed in the house anymore, Bucky brushed it off, saying they'd take care of it.

What you didn't know, was after Steve had tucked you into your bed that night, he caught Bucky sneaking a handful of them in the kitchen pantry with a tub of ice cream next to him.

Bucky just blinked at him innocent. "Don't you judge me, Rogers."

"Fine, Barnes. But you either point your ass the other way in bed tonight, or you're sleeping on the couch."

[coconutsaiyan]

zutara is true love, cope and seethe, zuko is much better for katara than baldie.

For there to be true love it has to actually exist lol. But sure Anon, the emo colonizer with tantrums and mommy and daddy issues is clearly the better choice than the baldie Katara happens to actually be in love with.

Don’t go projecting your insecurities over your fan ship to me. That’s not healthy.

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 58: It Hurts

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

Throughout the never-ending day I anxiously wait to hear the phone ring. When it finally does I snatch it up and prepare for the worst.

“Hello?”

“Verena! It’s Liam. We did it.”

I clutch my chest in relief. “No one was hurt?”

“Well, Mr. Changretta is much less alive than he was an hour ago,” Liam jokes lightly. “But no. No one was hurt. Your boss is fine and Arthur’s back. We’re all meeting for dinner in war-wic-chester.”

I hang my head to quit from laughing. “You mean Warwickshire? At Arrow House?”

“Yeah, that’s it. Your boss said to bring his boy with you.”

“I will do that. Tot ziens.”

“Tot ziens.”

It’s over. The vendetta is over. Charlie and Thomas can go back to Arrow House and no one has to keep looking over their shoulder for assassins. 

“Charlie!” I call down the hall and the schavuit comes running. “Get ready to go! You’re going home!”

He bolts to Thomas’ room and we both put together his bag. It makes me wonder if Thomas will actually try to spend time with him or if the servants will be the ones to entertain Charlie. We pack up my car and begin our journey north. I’ll call Uncle Colon later to ship the Bentley over to Brooklyn. It makes me guilty to think such a thing but I am not going to let Thomas’ gift go to waste.

“Do you really have to go?” Charlie whines from the backseat.

My grip on the wheel tightens. “I’m really sorry, Charlie. One day you might understand why. I will come by and visit sometime, I promise.”

Darkness falls by the time I pull into the driveway. Arrow House’s windows gleam warmly ahead and Charlie stares wide-eyed as we get closer. Outside I see Ada waiting for me.

“Hello, Charlie!” She greets as the young boy hops out and races for the door. “Your daddy’s waiting inside!” 

Ada doesn’t follow him and lingers next to me as I start to gather Charlie’s things from the trunk. Please, Ada. Not now. Let me have this night of relief with everyone and then I am gone. 

“I’m sailing over next week. You’re not waiting until then?”

I clench my jaw. “No, Ada. There’s no use stretching it out. I am not arguing it any further so please drop it.”

Ada groans and gently slaps her forehead. “Tell him! Tell him you love him! I’ll slap it into him if I have to!”

“No, Ada,” I retort firmly with a warning finger. “Just drop it. He goes for any other woman but me. Grace, May, Lizzie. Anyone else. He knocked up Lizzie, so now he will be attentive to her.”

Ada wants to say more but instead bites her lip and helps me carry the bags inside. Everyone’s sitting in the parlor while servants pass around enticing drinks. Charlie and Karl are off to the side playing. 

“Arthur!” I gasp when I see the familiar Shelby broer. “It’s so good to see you!”

He grins and raises a glass. “I’m still alive and kicking, Steenstra!”

Meanwhile my own broer sits next to Uncle Charlie and Johnny Doggs, no doubt hearing some very wild stories. Finn’s chatting with Bonnie and Isiah. Polly and Aberama seem to have grown on each other. Linda looks to have calmed down and Ada sends her own discrete message to me by passing me my own drink. The only one who is still bothered by my presence is Lizzie. Due to the pregnancy I hope she’s not drinking.

I hear footsteps enter the room and I don’t need to turn around to know it’s Thomas. The music is silenced and everyone turns to address him. Instead I choose to stare down at my glass of brandy.

“Oi! Before we eat, I’d like to say a few words,” Thomas addresses. “Last time we were all here, it ended badly. But now we’re in a happier place.” Thomas cuts it off and raises his glass. “That’s it, I’d just like to raise a toast.”

“Hold on.” Arthur holds up a hand and looks around at everyone as he sits up. “There’s a few words I’d like to say from the heart. And this time, you’re gonna let me finish, Tommy.”

His brother obliged, keeping his mouth shut for once. 

“As you all know, Arthur Shelby is dead. Because of that, Tommy’s offered me a way out. A new identity. Start a whole new life.”

Linda will like that very much. If Thomas offered this to his broer then there is no excuse why he should object to my own choice to leave.

“I’ve thought about it. Made a decision.” A smile slowly grows on Arthur’s face. “I ain’t fucking going nowhere.”

Some cheers echo throughout the room and others sit in silence. Thomas included. Alright, Arthur. You can keep yourself in this lifestyle. But don’t say that things will ever stay calm.

Arthur puts a foot on the coffee table and gestures to all of us. “Our enemies are dead, all of ‘em. I’d like to make a proposal that all of you, the Shelby Company Limited, insist that Tommy here takes some time off. Time you took a holiday, Tom. War’s over.” He raises his whiskey. “To peace.”

“To peace,” almost everyone echoes.

Thomas stays quiet and doesn’t make a move to drink. The same sadness from yesterday still paints his face. Oh, yes. Lizzie will adore it if he takes time off. She’s already smiling about it. Congratu-fucking-lations, Thomas.

Liam locks eyes with me across the room and he signals for the door. I give a quick nod and Liam gives the thumbs up. He stands up and we both start to take our leave-

“Verena, wait.”

Polly takes my hand and pulls me away into the kitchen. Not her too! Why can’t anyone just let me leave with peace and dignity?!

“I know I’ve been distant and I’m sorry.” She pulls out two chairs from the table and we both sit down. “Between my blasted headaches, Linda’s complaining, and Lizzie’s new pregnancy, I didn’t stop to think about how you pulled through this. How you stayed put together.”

I take another sip of my drink. “It’s fine. ‘S not the first time I had to travel alone.”

Polly shakes her head. “No, it’s not fine. Here. Let me read your future.”

She reaches for my hand despite my inner voice telling me to go. The kind woman means well and it brings me joy to talk with her again. But it’s too late now.

“Polly, I appreciate the thought, but the only premonition I expect to receive is from God.”

“And He will present it to me to give to you,” Polly insists. “Let’s see… Oh my.”

From the way she says that I can’t tell what whatever she sees is supposed to be. Good or bad? At this point I’ve lost enthusiasm.

“That dull? No surprise.” I push my chair out and start to leave. “Now please excuse me-”

“Verena. This is serious.” Polly keeps a grip on my hand.

I shoot her a look. “I’m not pregnant too, am I?”

She purses her lips at my bold remark. “No. It’s something else.”

I gulp down the rest of the brandy. “Does it mean life or death?”

Polly’s mouth presses into a line. “No.”

“Then I will wait for it.”

I pull away and march back to the hallway. 

“Your stubbornness to avoid challenging news makes you deaf,” Polly calls after me. “You cannot run away from this, Verena.”

Probably not. But I’m not waiting around here to find out. I ignore Polly’s premonition and walk up to Liam, who’s waiting impatiently by the door.

“Ready? If we get to the docks by morning-”

“Oi! Wait just a minute.”

No. No. No! I hear Thomas walk up behind me and he starts leading me into his office. Can’t Thomas take a fucking hint and see that I need to leave?!

“If you’re gonna be a while I’m having another drink!” Liam calls before I enter the office.

I might need one myself after this. Thomas shuts the door behind us and when I look up to face him there’s something in his eyes that makes me even more uneasy. Why does he have to look so good in that suit? I don’t know if I want to punch his lights out or- Damn it, Verena! Stop thinking about when you walked in on him in the bath!

“It’s settled. Michael and Ada will accompany you back to America. There you will help negotiate peace between us Englishmen and the Italians from Chicago.”

I squeeze against the wall as Thomas slowly walks past me to his desk. He pulls out a bottle and pours two whiskeys. Is that it? A quick goodbye and a drink for the road? Maybe I don’t have to worry so much after all. 

“And you? You’re finally going to rest?” I ask with raised eyebrows. “You’ve been carrying the world on your shoulders. Do as Arthur says, take some time off.”

Don’t think so crossly, Verena. Let him have this. Thomas deserves to have a halfway-normal life with his family. You can live out the rest of your life comforted by yours.

“And when I say time off, I mean it. No paperwork, no phone calls. You need to relax without working. Please tell me you’ll try to relax.”

At first Thomas waves it off but then wants to argue. “Verena-”

“Answer me.”

“Yes, love.” He gives in and hands me my drink. “Anything I can do for you, anything, just let me know.”

I take a swig and try to let the alcohol soothe me. “Alright, then. Spend more time with Charlie. He misses you. And remember to care for your new daughter.”

That’s all I can ask for now. If I can’t have Thomas’ love then I will see to it that his children do. Even if I have to order him to.

“We’re calling her Ruby. Ruby Shelby,” Thomas sighs and takes a sip of his own drink.

“That’s a pretty name. She’ll be a lovely girl.” 

Now Lizzie will probably take over and become Charlie's new mum. I’ve never seen her work well with kids but maybe she’ll change? I just hope she doesn’t prize her own child over Charlie.

“That’s all?”

I freeze. Those words. Those Goddamn words. The same ones I forced myself to ignore before Thomas went back to Grace. All of this could have been different if I hadn’t been so fucking quiet. 

“That is all, Mr. Shelby,” I stutter and regain a firm tone. “Enjoy your holiday.”

Get out get out get out! I put down the glass and pace to the door before any tears can form. Get out get out-

“If you have something to say then say it.”

Fuck. He’s not falling for it now. Thomas isn’t thick enough to ignore it again. He knows I’m not saying everything. Can’t he just let me go? Can’t he see I’m doing this to let him be happy? To save myself from any more heartbreak?

Still frozen midstep, I take a deep breath. “Actions speak louder than words. My neglect to object is my way of saying I want you to be happy.”

In the corner of my eye Thomas walks closer. I feel him grab my shoulders, turning me around to face him. His icy blue eyes stare me down and my heart seizes with fear. There’s that look again. Like he knows I’m hiding something. 

“And by that, would you say that you love me?” He whispers softly. “Look at me, love. Look at me. With God as your witness, look at me and tell me you don’t love me.”

His gentle tone paired with the tender yet heartless question leaves my mind crashing.

“Thomas. Please…”

“Say it.”

I shake my head to look away and hide the forming tears. “Don’t do this to me-”

“It’ll be quick and painless.” Thomas cups my shaking face. “Say it.”

“I- I… Oh Thomas!”

My body collapses and I fall back against the wall, turning away so I can hide my shame. Jesus, why is he doing this?!

“You can’t, can you?” I hear him ask. “‘Cause then you’d be lying.”

Snap! Something tugs in my brain and in a split second my jumbled nerves are replaced by ignited anger. I whip my head around to glare at Thomas’ blank, dumbass face with a look moeder would be proud of.

“Stop tormenting me! I can’t keep this up. I am not going to sob here like a pathetic child and listen to you belittle my heart any further!” I storm up to him and back him against the desk. “You might think that pushing me aside will spare my feelings. Well, the honest truth is it hurts, Thomas. It really hurts me to be treated like this. That is why I am no longer going to work from Birmingham.”

Thomas, still gaping at me with shock and fear painted on his face, stays silent as I march to the door. Happy now, Thomas? I’m probably one of the only women to ever walk away from you with this much dignity. How does it feel to be on the other end of shouting?

I tightly grip the door and give him one last glare. “Goodbye, Thomas.”

Thud!

The door slams and I strut down the hall, the clicking of my heels ringing throughout the house. If anyone else tries to stop me from leaving they’re going to be met with a first to their nose.

“Liam! We are leaving!” I bark, letting my voice echo through the house. “Now!”

My broer scrambles out of the parlor and meets me at the door.

“Finally ready? It’s really dark now and- Verena?” He does a double-take when he sees my tense face. “Zus? What’s wrong?”

“If I ever fall in love again, you have my full permission to give me a smack on the head,” I answer sternly as we step into the bitter wind outside.

Though I put aside my heart for you, Thomas Shelby, I am still human. I’m sorry, Grace. I will not be able to keep my promise to take care of them. It’s up to Lizzie now.

@meadows5

[slushiesandshowtunesat3am]

you have a good point about the increasement of non con/dub con fanfiction. i just want to add that it's not surprise that Joel Miller's fanfiction are the one that always sexualize the word "kiddo" or are mostly about age gap because the fandom (and i'm talking here about Pedro Pascal fandom generally) has been more toxic in the recent years. big problem here is they tend to fetishize Pedro Pascal a lot so, when you scroll in his character tags, the stories you always found are about daddy kinks, age gap kinks, dbf/bfd, etc. it's look that a reader that is over 30 is a crime.

funny thing, this doesn't happen when i'm looking in other characters tags that aren't latinos, like Bucky Barnes or Steve Harrington, i wonder why🙄

This is an interesting perspective for a lot of reasons <3

The ask above and the text below is a response to concern about the growing number of infantilization and dub con/non con content that is taking over certain fanfiction spaces.

I will be using tags from those spaces to spread the message and further encourage conversation, so if you do not want to see my posts, block me now

Honestly, until reading this ask, I didn't realize just how severe the overt sexualization of Pedro Pascal has gotten.

I remember seeing videos of him reading certain fan tweets filled with the term daddy and I would cringe, but I just figured it was because I was a bit put off by one of my favorite actors being put in that situation.

But I do remember, before Pedro really started picking up traction as Joel Miller, his most sought after character was the Mandalorian, and I don't recall ever seeing as much non-con and infantilization content as I do now.

All of the dynamics explored, at least in the fics I read, where all based upon mutual protection because of the environment that Mando was in. Mutual respect, mutual responsibility, because it was life or death. And even if age was a concern, the term daddy was hardly ever uttered.

With Joel, it's almost the complete opposite. Despite the landscape for the show literally being the end of the world, it seems as though the most popular works for the fiction focus on age gaps. And a good number of them, aren't even focused on the actual plot line. It's all: Dad's best friend, hot older man next door, perv! Joel, etc.

And I get it, I do! It's fanFICTION for a reason, you're supposed to create your own stories, but there seeks to be an underlying theme here that I don't believe I'm comfortable with.

What was the shift?

And I can't help but view your other point as one of interest as well.

A post I made a while ago highlighted a lack of representation, or rather an exclusion of POC in fanfiction due to descriptive terms often catering to a white demographic.

In a follow-up post I made, a response to an ask, I said that I couldn't help but wonder if the seemingly deliberate exclusion of inclusive vocabulary was because there has been a growing number of content feeding into this very lolita-esque style of reader. One of pink, princess purity, and sexuality found in corruption. And, because POC do not fit this image of purity in your mind, we are subconsciously removed from these spaces.

But now I'm wondering about other repercussions.

It's no secret that Latin women have been sexualized since Christopher Colonizer sailed the ocean blue, but I truly haven't looked at how Latin men may be as well.

As a black women, I know black men, (black women as well, but not as frequently) are often sexualized by other races for various reasons, but I wasn't aware that this may be happening in the Latin community as well.

Is it possible that Pedro, or rather his characters, present an easy target for blatant sexualization, even of graphic and exploitative content, because of this ideology?

Again, open to discussion.